#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[cats-in-the-clouds]

it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

[coachbeards]

i really have made some peace with the beardjane endgame ending, not because i think they're a good healthy couple, but because like. i knew they weren't going to break them up lmao. i knew it. i think they had a good opportunity to do it after mom city, but i knew they wouldn't.

now, i don't think beard is happy in his marriage, and there's definitely that ted-shaped hole that jane unfortunately cant fill (and she hates beard for that, and ted, too)......... i think he tries, like a lot. i really do think he tries to force himself to be happy. they keep going to codependents anonymous, beard probably begs her to agree to couples counseling.........they have a baby that needs both of them, and he isn't happy. and he hates himself even more that he's not happy, because he...should be, right? this is the life people should be happy with. a good job, a wife, a baby........

[quadrantadvisor]

I'm taking adderall for the first time in two years and my brain is freaking out but in a different way from before so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[shidoukanae]

i wanna finish my The Mighty Extra fan VN so badly,,,, but the art,,, it daunts me,,,,,

[0uroboring]

.

[thesophistiicate]

the good life essentials: the ultimate guide to getting what you want 💭

for so long i always felt a sense of struggle when it came to my achievements. i could reach my goals but it always felt so hard, and it usually came paired with periods of burn out and malaise. then i found out why: i was often neglecting foundational needs, living in chaos and not taking proper care of myself, and trying to zoom straight to big-picture achievements.

below is my ultimate guide to 'the good life'. the more balance you can achieve in each category, the easier and more pleasurable it becomes to reach your goals. you will still have to stretch yourself and explore beyond your limits... but it should feel relatively nice because you are supported by a nourishing lifestyle.

you deserve a beautiful, healthy, passion-filled life. here's how you get it:

01. your foundation: the essentials

physical health: create nourishing routines for sleep, exercise, and nutrition. your literal energy starts here, so if you’re trying to bring positive energy to your life and achieve success, you need foundational energy.

mental and emotional health: build resilience and develop strategies for coping with pressure and stress. take care of your mental health always, not just when you’re already spinning out.

financial stability: learn to manage your money wisely. budgeting, saving, and debt management are a must.

02. your core: connections + fulfilment

your home: whether you have just a bed, a room, an apartment, or a whole house, create a safe, comforting space to recharge and feel grounded.

strong relationships: surround yourself with supportive and meaningful connections - so much about ourselves is defined by those we are close with so choose wisely.

meaningful work: follow your sense of purpose and find work or projects that bring a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction to your life. remember that it may not always be paid work. if you have no idea, just keep trying things and follow what interests you, while working on the next stage.

03. your growth: personal development

personal growth: invest into self improvement, developing new skills, growing your knowledge and learning as much as possible.

spiritual fulfilment: find purpose, whether through spirituality, self-reflection, or a connection to something bigger.

creativity & self-expression: explore creative outlets and express your true self to find a grounding sense of joy and authenticity.

04. your larger contribution: beyond the self

community & contribution: give back, volunteer, or participate in community initiatives to connect with a greater sense of purpose and life-giving connection.

legacy & impact: define the mark you want to leave on the world, through family, work, or contributions to society. think deeply about what you wish to leave behind and tailor your life to this goal.

05. your enrichment: quality of life enhancers

play & leisure: make time for joy, hobbies, and relaxation for rejuvenation, calm, and passion. if your day to day work isn't your passion, it's so essential to find passion here.

time in nature: regularly connect with the outdoors for grounding and mental clarity.

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What is the Best Way for YOU to Manifest?

I have been receiving so many notes from yall and there are so many new followers!!! thank you all so much for the love and the affirmation! I really enjoy doing this and it helps me stay in a healthy mindset so I'm glad I can assist others while assisting myself.

In today's reading I am using Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot, The Healing Waters Oracle, and The Starseed Oracle. Take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perspectives!

Donate to my CashApp

_________________________________

PILE ONE

Astrology: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Vibes: Blue, navy, black, skulls, ice, Hermes, ocean, coast-line, shark teeth, crystal jewelry, castles, olive tree, music, cats, fish, soda, marine life in general, crying, spicy food, hot meal, alternative fashion

Song: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears

Cards: The Artist, 7 of Cups, Page of Cups, The Ripple Effect, Perspective

Heyooo pile one! Welcome to your reading. The best way yall can manifest is by projecting it out of you. This can be through making art of some kind or just looking at art of what it is that you desire. Either way all you need is to see the desire outside of yourself and it will eventually find its way to you. I see you are quite protective of your desires and it is difficult for you to choose which one you want to manifest most because you want them all so much. You can have them all if you like. You need to admire what you want to manifest. Imagine how you would feel seeing whatever it is in your hands. If it is an object imagine what the texture of it would feel like. What does it look like? Imagine its color. If it is an experience that you wish to manifest imagine how it would feel to experience it. What would your senses take in when you experience it? You know intuitively what it is you want without having it. Doesn't it make sense you would intuitively know what it would be like? The clearer the vision you have, the quicker it will manifest into existence. Just remember anything you wish to manifest is already yours. It has your name written on its spiritual frequency. You just gotta match the frequency. Don't worry about how it will happen. Don't worry about the plan. The universe already knows how it will get to you. You don't have to worry about that part. The details are already taken care of, my dude. Trust the universe.

PILE TWO

Astrology: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Vibes: Green, yellow, white, wild-flowers, children laughing, church bells, lions, eagles, bulls, peanut butter, being barefooted, 222, snakes, curry, ribbons

Song: What I've Got by Sublime

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, 6 of Cups, 2 of Swords, King Tide, Breath of the Cosmos

Hi, pile 2! The best way for you to manifest is through verbal expression. I see many entities watching over you. They wait patiently for you to ask for what you desire. They listen closely to what you truly want. When you ask it must be backed by the desire of your inner child. If it does not align with your inner child's desires the entities might not hear you. The universe wants to cradle your inner child. It coos at them waiting for them to speak. Let your inner baby ask for what it wants. Let them speak. It is common for inner children to be silenced by the world so this might take some convincing. Be patient with them and they will tell your guides everything you truly desire and I swear it'll be dropped in your lap or by your doorstep in no time at all. You must trust your younger self to know what is right. You must trust the universe to deliver it to you. Both of them want you to experience abundance and plenty. Both of them want you to receive the fullness of life. Speak aloud what your younger self wants. Speak it with confidence in the effect it will have on your experience. It must be genuine. Whatever you want is already yours once it is spoken.

PILE THREE

Astrology: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Vibes: Purple, forest green, pink, dogs, umbrellas, door knocker, hibiscus, olives, grapes, plums, violets, pomegranate, venus, 2222, incense smoke, candles, amethyst, cannabis, kayaking, hiking, Saturn

Song: Amethyst by Janine the Machine

Cards: The Fool, The Empress, The Well, Ilse of Avalon, You're Not For Everyone

Pile three, welcome to your reading! The best way for you to manifest is through your actions. I feel how hard you work in my body through the cards. You are far too resilient cus gotdamn your back hurts. Hard work is a way to manifest yes but what might work better for you is to enjoy yourself. By working hard all the time you invite in more work to do. Your actions display your manifestations. If you desire rest and relaxation (which i think you do) then meditation might help you. Do what you enjoy doing. Your physical reality with mirror your mind. Allow your mind to take a break. Embrace what you have wanted to do for a while. I know you have been trying so hard to get the manifestations you desire so deeply. I know those 60 to 80 hour work weeks have been hard on your mind and body. Pamper yourself a little bit. Invite more softenest in. Be willing to receive. Leap into bed, turn on your favorite show, and indulge a little in your favorite snack. Heal your soul. The cards also tell me you are a bit weird and quirky but you hide that a lot. It will help your manifestations come faster if you just embrace your weirdness. Lean into your quirkiness. I feel you are already really connected to Source and Source is where all that we need/desire comes from. You just gotta tap back into that energy again. Wow, okay I think your guides have been telling you to rest for a while. I am hearing them LOUD and CLEAR. They are a little frustrated with you not listening to them. You are pretty stubborn huh? I see you might have hurt yourself at work recently. That was an invitation to rest. Take the invitation, please. I see that if you don't take the invitation now you might be forced to later.

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Vibes: Orange, red, sky blue, lavender, holding hands, hand-shakes, raining when the sun is out, rainbows, martini, fajitas, goblets, queer pride, 1111, throat chakra, oroborous, lotus flower

Song: Dracula from Houston by Butthole Surfers

Cards: The Magician, The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Let It Rain, Water Your Garden

Hey there, pile 4! Welcome to your reading, my friend. The best way you manifest is through communication. It's a bit more specific than that. Specifically when you're communicating in ways that are also taking care of yourself. Some examples of this are journaling, venting to a friend, talking with your lover, setting a boundary or writing letters to a pen pal. When you are verbalizing your desires to your friends be sure you are communicating with those you trust. I also see saying daily affirmations in the mirror would work as well. Which sometimes looks very ritualistic and other times it's you singing a song that makes you feel really positive about yourself in the mirror. Hype yourself up and that is a way to manifest as well. Anything with language involved while you are nourishing your body. I do see it might be difficult for you to gather your thoughts on your own so I do think it would be a bit easier to speak to a trusted advisor. Your words have power. Your language has power. The things that slip from your mouth are magic. Be very intentional about what you say, my dear.

[jealousmartini]

💌 She's an overachiever. "Pressure"? What pressure? ⋆₊˚⊹🔖

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

My second year of college is coming in hot guys. And I'm talking the 3rd of September, in TWO WEEKS TIME HOT.

But you already know your girl has BEEN locked in with her subliminals for the next term, cus I've had a whole thing going on since my first term to my second yk. so come a little closer so I can show yall what my game is on

p.s.a!! I am an animation and games art student, so most to all of my work is research and art based. And when I say most of my work is research based, I mean there is an ungodly amount of writing that is expected from the students and it's not even just the amount it's WHAT you write about that gets you the grade and how well your art conveys your ideas.

Also "Ex." = Example

╰┈➤ " My average college day experience as an art student/loass babe " click here!

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

"What? Like it's hard?" At the top of her class, always ontop of her work, never slacking off, always locking in.

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Perfect focus, super attentive, always pays attention and makes notes. I am never afraid to ask for help or advice and I always receive the answers I need to understand the work; no room for confusion here.

|| Very strong, clear memory, perfect photographic memory.

|| Studies so much, it's my hobby, never underestimates myself or downplays my work, has always prioritised my work and has always understood the importance of doing work at home. Studying has never been a struggle for me because I don't struggle with discipline. I actually find so much fun and enjoyment doing homework. I always feel so productive and proud of myself whilst managing my time and looking at the amount I have done afterwards. Especially with the amount of validation and points I earn from teachers. It is always so satisfying seeing my high grades after a complete project. It's like a treat.

|| Creative genius, always brainstorms with words or loose sketches; not a single idea goes to waste. Research enthusiast, I could never shy away from making a thorough, detailed, and well planned out analysis, moodboard or mindmap. And multiple of them at that. I always know EXACTLY what to write and never wastes precious time and space yapping.

|| The life of an art student is exciting, fulfilling, flourishing, inspiring and strict. In the healthy way of course. My parents and teachers are always understanding of my burnouts and art block which are very rare thank god; and it's a good thing I have my closest friends to comfort me through my work. They are always so supportive, encouraging and honest with me as I am with them. We always travel together to the college (when I don't feel like being alone) and we always travel back home together. I mean we are our own personal friend circle so of course we buy snacks for each other and meet up for lunch; it's not even like we need to worry about price since we have more than enough on us. College is 100 times better when my best friends are with me, everything feels so comfortable with them

|| Perfect, cunty, and ideal artstyles. Always chooses the ones most appropriate for a certain design, and never forgets how to convey a certain look. I know, understand and draw human, animal, vehicle, clothing anatomy and terminology, enviromental composition, colour theory and terminology, the 12 principles of animation, the 7 fundamentals of art (Line, pattern, colour, texture, tone, shape and form), and the fundamentals of character design like the back of my hand

|| I know how to layout a design page appropriately, I always know how to theme and colour co-ordinate. Written placement and art placement are always perfect to the T and nothing looks off. All together, I show off my own unique style of work and impress my teachers of classmates

Ex. Subliminals in my art student playlist

"Over achiever", "Desired art skills", "Desired (college) life"

«───────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────»

"Ugh she is always doing the most with her work😒-" And she always looks good doing it. She's got the looks and the discipline; she's got it all

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

|| Gorgeous, curly, and ideal (3B to 3C) hair. My hair never gets greasy, dry, breakage, damage, frizz, dandruff, or split ends. My curls are always moisturised, soft, bouncy, and defined. I never experience a bad hair day, and my hair is super easy to manage. Detangling my hair is a breeze, and styling my hair is even easier; every style looks exactly the way I want it and never loses the volume or shape throughout the day.

|| Ideal, fit, slim thick pear. Short shoulders, small ribcage, medium-sized chest, 20 inch waist, wide hips and slight dip, long legs, fat ass but not too fat, chubby but fit thighs, slimmer defined calves and small feet. The perfect pear. And every outfit looks exactly the way I want; I never look awkward but I always look put together and stylish.

|| Craziest face card. Ms. Face economy infact. I have a round heart shaped face with dark brown bambi eyes and long fluttery lashes, a medium straight nose bridge, plump pink "keyhole" lips, and the clearest, softest brown skin ever... Yet I still put make up on- yes I do because it's fun and I like it, so it's always awesome knowing I can do my make up flawlessly and nail my looks perfectly

Ex. Subliminals in my ideal appearance playlist

"3C hair type", "Pear body", "Desired face", "brown caramel skin"

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

I'll probably add smore later :3 k bye

[ribbeoms]

「 azure dreams , midnight tales 」

-> featuring, barista!soobin x gn!student!reader

-> w/c ; 1.9k || no warnings

sypnosis : 「 you, an insomniac who finds solace in your late-night conversations with soobin, the barista at a 24-hour cafe. over time, you realizes that soobin’s soft voice and calming presence feel like a dream come true, even during your sleepless nights. but as the midnight talks deepen, so do your feelings, leaving you wondering if this connection is too perfect to last past sunrise. 」

part of the blue-kissed moments masterlist ! pls feel free to check the other fics ^^

[m.list]

a/n : my first soobin fic !! happy birthday my angel

university is the worst.

no, scratch that. being a broke university student is the worse. juggling day-to-day expenses alongside payments of school materials and dorm rent, and the additional stress of the classes and exams? nothing could've prepared you for how grueling the first semester would be. with a sigh, you stumble into a cafe, the bells ringing overhead as your eyes tried to adjust to the warm lights radiated by the decorations lining the homely appearance of the cafe. thank god for 24 hour cafes, you can finally get a (un)healthy dose of caffeine at midnight to fuel your night owl study sessions.

there was only one other person in the small cafe. the barista, head turning up from his phone to glance upon the newcomer into the cafe. he flashed a warm smile as his lithe hands placed his phone down. he turns to greet you, his tussled hair framing his eyes perfectly with a warm, boyfriend look to him.

"welcome to azure dreams cafe. you look awfully tired, what drink can i get you?" the honeyed tone of the barista's voice warms you, it's been so long since anybody has treated you with the bare bones of respect. "sorry for coming in so late.. are americanos available? i just need the energy." you responded, running your hand through your hair as the other clutches your book bag. "it's no problem at all. i understand how you feel, so just take a seat there. feel free to listen to music or take a nap, whatever you need." he hummed, before turning away further into the cafe, where a soft hum of machinery slowly filled the quiet atmosphere.

you caught a glimpse of his nametag ─ choi soobin.

₊˚ʚ

"oh, you're back."

soobin tilted his head, lips pursed as he studies your hunched frame. "sorry, soobin. you keep having to make americanos at midnight for me." you placed your bag down at the cafe lounge chair, easily sliding into the booth. it's been a week of visiting this cafe, a week of talking to the barista, a week of receiving endless amounts of help and feedback on your work. soobin, your eternal saviour, your light at the end of the tunnel, your guardian angel. multiple times has he lent a helping hand to you, allowing you to swiftly complete your work and improving on the essays and projects that you've been pulling all nighters (and your hair) for.

"why're you so willing to help me?" the question slipped out, your eyes boring into soobin's back as he closely monitors the coffee beans. "well," he mused, a small smile playing on his lips. "everyone deserves a little help sometimes. even if they're extremely sleep deprived. i see .. myself in you, i guess." soobin shoved his hands into his apron pockets, leaning against the cover, back still facing you. you leaned your head against the table, mulling over his words. he.. sees himself in you? what does that mean? your thoughts echoed through your head, ricocheting off each other.

"hey, stop thinking about it so much," soobin suddenly appeared, placing your americano before you. he leaned forward, upper body against your table. "i know that university work's tough, but i promise you, you'll always find solace here, alright? i'll be here every night. i know you're worried about many things, but my presence will not be one of them." soobin gently carresses your fingers, before casting you a soft smile. "i promise you."

butterflies erupted in your stomach, as you feel your face grow hotter. "t..thank you.." you managed to stutter out, looking down at your unfinished work, a little flustered from the sudden burst of affection from the midnight barista. you grabbed the coffee cup, before collecting yourself. was that.. was that a confession..?

₊˚ʚ

"y'know, i admire your consistency." soobin suddenly speaks, thus dragging your attention onto him. your eyebrows furrowed, confused. "consistency? like.. my school work? i haven't showed you my results before though.." you mumbled out, brain still trying to catch up on the horrendously low number of hours of sleep you managed to catch that week. soobin giggled, looking at you with a .. weird emotion in his eyes. "no, silly. your consistency in managing to come here every midnight. it's been three weeks, and you've never missed a day." you pursed your lips, before realisation dawned on you ─ has it really been three weeks? you flashed a small embarrassed smile, eyes turning back to your computer.

soobin's memory is immaculate. remembering the exact preferences you had for decoration suggestions you sometimes gave, and memorising the exact timing on how long you loved for the coffee beans to roast. his knowledge is expanse too, almost as if he dabbled in everything before. what soobin is oblivious to, however, is the fact that on your phone, you have a little alarm to wake you up everyday to head to the cafe. so no matter what, you were determined to enter the cafe at twelve midnight. what was the reason behind this? honestly, you're not sure yourself (yet). all you know is that you're dead-set in seeing soobin's smile everyday.

suddenly, a ringtone rang out. "oh, excuse me." soobin got up from the sofa across you, before heading into the back of the cafe to handle the call. "huh? a phone call at 1am? especially from dialing the cafe number?" your fingers twirled with your pen, neck straining as you tried your best to hear the phone call. unfortunately, only bits and pieces of information entered your ears. "close down.... rent......two days."

your heart sank. soobin's lanky figure emerged from the room, face clearly distressed. when his eyes landed on you, he seemed to get even more anxious, fingers twiddling with the hem of his shirt, akin to a child feeling extremly guilty. he opened his mouth as if to say something, before closing it again. you patted the seat next to you, a silent invitation. a reassurance.

"so... the cafe is in a bit of a financial crisis as of right now.." soobin looked down at the table, eyes not daring to meet yours. he continued, " 'cause of lack of customers, and the expenses of the ingredients and rent... the owner said that it would be best to shut this cafe down for good." soobin sighed, broad shoulders sinking into his shirt, making it look too big on soobin. you didn't like that. you didn't like your soobin looking so small and fragile.

"all good things must come to an end one day," you gave a small smile, your palm unfolding over soobin's closed fist. "i don't want our nights to end." a small confession muttered from his lips. "i don't want our nights to end too, soobin. this .. all this means so much to me. so, so much." you looked away, gazing at the twinkling stars in the distance. your hand feels heavy against soobin's, but your heart weighs heavier. the truth is, having these nights end scare you to no end. "but.. we'll figure a way out, right? like we always have." you offered a small semblance of hope, an open question hanging.

empty confessions fill the air. a choked sob escapes soobin. your heart aches as you pull him towards your shoulder, allowing for a place of comfort, no matter how small. a place of solace for him, showing that there was never any doubt for your presence in his life as well. you mirror his sentiments as you pulled him against you tighter, hands rubbing his forearm as he cries into your shoulder.

a warm tear glided down your cheek.

₊˚ʚ

you huffed, melachonly settling uncomfortably into your stomach. the bells above your head chimed one last time, as you enter the cafe. your sneakers step onto the furnished hardwood, as the warm lights embrace you. there, behind the counter, soobin stood. just like that night three weeks ago, he was there. always, with a cup of americano ready. "i never took you to the rooftop before, right?" you shook your head, your curiosity piqued at the mention of the roof. was it even allowed? soobin snapped you out of your thoughts, waving a hand in front of you.

"you're not scared of heights, are you..?" soobin question, his grasp on your wrist loosening as he led you up the staircase. "a little late for that, no?" you giggled, trailing closely behind soobin. "oh.. true.." he mumbled, blinking a bit. he chuckled, hand reaching for the doorknob towards the roof. "i like to come up here after my shifts. it.. relaxes the mind, y'know? makes it feel like-" "it's all going to be alright." you completed his sentence, your eyes gazing into his own. "yeah.. exactly." he huffed, letting a small laugh out.

once both of you are settled onto the roof, a thick silence envelops the air. you leaned your head onto soobin's shoulder, huddling closer towards him, as if this is your last chance to ever see him. he wrapped his arm around you, head turned up towards the two twinkling stars in the sky. "i never told you this, but.. i used to hate working the midnight shift." soobin starts off, hesistant in continuing. you faced him, urging him to finish his train of thought. "it wasn't a very nice time to work, haha.. i mean, midnight isn't usually the time when people would come into a cafe, so most days were dull." you hummed, leaning further into him.

"until you started visiting." you laughed, "you're only saying that to make me happy." "no no, i'm serious!" soobin frantically waved his hand, heart-shaped lips forming a pout. "i mean it, really. you've.. changed my life in more ways than i expected. i thought you were just going to be a one-time customer, but you kept visiting. kept accompanying me." he barely whispers out the last part, his breath fanning into the cold air. "it's sweet. i look forward to it everyday." a small red tint appears on soobin's ears, as he looks down in embarrassment.

you tightened your grip around his arm, giggling in silence. "i have a confession too. i set an alarm on my phone, reminding me everyday to walk over to your cafe at midnight. that's what explains my consistency, it's because i want to see you. everyday." your voice becomes smaller as you continued. "i guess what i'm saying is that.. i like you." you confessed, burying your face into his arm.

soobin lifted your face, before leaning in, pressing his lips onto yours. you swear you could feel fireworks explode as your heart pumps in such a familiar rhythm that you can't help the nostalgic feeling that settles in your chest. "soo-bin", it pumps, and it keeps on pumping, the blood flowing through your body a reminder of how your love for him flows through you, almost naturally. you closed your eyes, pressing deeper into the kiss.

soobin pulled away, chest heaving. expectant eyes gaze upon you, his hair messed up, much like the day you two met. "i guess midnights will always belong to us." he said breathlessly.

"always."

₊˚ʚ

"you'll really be working here, right?" soobin asked for what seemed like the sixtieth time today. "yes, binnie. as long as you’re here." he hummed in sastifaction at your reply, cuddling further into your chest.

“wait, angel.” you softly nudged him away, smoothening your clothes over as you put on your customary smile. “welcome to azure dreams, what can i get you?” your fingers hovered over the display, but something else is hovering behind you as well. soobin gazes at you from behind, pouting as you politely handle the customer. turns out, the only reason why azure dreams “fell out of business” is because soobin, your dearest, cutest boyfriend forgot to flip the “open/close” sign every time he opened the cafe. the only reason why you managed to meet him two months ago was because you were too tired to even notice the sign..

“i didn’t know you were so good at handling other people but suddenly able to push your boyfriend away. it’s like you don’t care about me at all.. am i not the one who secured you a good schedule and a job? you just threw me to one side like i mean nothing. and to think you confessed to sweetly on that very rooftop! so this is how younger people treat their elders nowadays-” soobin keeps on talking in the back of the kitchen, lips moving at a speed you can’t even read. you lunged forward, catching his lips in a kiss. a deep blush rose to soobin’s face, eyes widening as his hands flutter about as he can’t even seem to find a proper place to put it. on the counter or on your waist?! what if his colleagues walk in..! before he can even finish contemplating, you pull yourself away from him. “you talk a lot, baby.” you teased, before bouncing away to actually do your job.

soobin touched his lips, eyes trailing your figure as you worked. god, he’s so whipped.

₊˚ʚ 🌌 ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ 🌀 ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ❄️ ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ 🌫 ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ

@studiogyu @daddldee

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Behind the locked door

In honor of Izuku’s mask disintegrating into rubble, I think it’s finally time for me to really dig deep into his character. I’ve been keeping this one in my back pocket for a while. Amid all the talk about Izuku’s fading narration, the “control your heart” subplot, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how I know exactly where this is going, at least on a certain level. Most recently, I read this meta from pika who brings up how the word “control” alone can be misconstrued (by us). And then I thought about how a while back I made a similar point, although I said Izuku was the one who got it wrong. At that time, I was holding back a huge piece of evidence because it was external to the story and I wasn’t sure it would be received well. As a result, my argument fell a little flat. Well, now—after 411, right before leaks for 412—it might be my last chance to play this card.

So about that external evidence. I struggle to bring it up because it’s gonna sound an awful lot like I’m projecting onto Izuku if I don’t do it justice. But… I look at the way his storyline has been going lately and I see a pattern emerging that I’m very familiar with. Fortunately, I don’t have to dump a bunch of personal junk on you in order to illustrate this pattern, because a certain personality typing system already has it all figured out: the Enneagram.

Now, hang on. I’m not one to put people in boxes. My trans ass? I managed to get a different result every time I retook the P0ttermore quiz. MBTI, zodiacs—not my thing. But the Enneagram comes the closest I’ve ever seen to covering all the bases and revealing actually meaningful insight, at least for myself. On top of that, I find it extremely useful for fleshing out fictional characters, hence this post will be taking advantage of that.

For those who aren’t familiar with it, here’s a quick overview: The Enneagram consists of 9 individual personality types, each arranged carefully in a sequential, circular manner. They are also simply named 1 through 9. While this might seem kinda basic, there is actually a surprising amount of nuance and fluidity involved. Typing is done largely through personal introspection (you don’t really have to take a test). Adjacent numbers share some core themes with each other, and according to a web of arrows between them, one type can take on either positive or negative traits associated with other types depending on how emotionally ‘healthy’ they are, causing a lengthy spectrum of different ways each type can manifest. That part gets kinda complicated to explain here, so for more info, the Enneagram Institute website is a decent place to start. I also highly recommend the Enneagram album by Sleeping At Last (and if you really want to dedicate some time, the accompanying podcast) to really get inside the heads of the types on a deeper level.

My interest in applying the Enneagram to Izuku comes from observing how differently one can interpret his character based on whether you read him as a 2 or a 9. And even though no one uses this language to talk about him, the distinction accounts for a bunch of different rifts in the fandom: whether you appreciate bkdk’s relationship, whether you can acknowledge Izuku’s flaws and weaknesses, the severity of his vigilante/rogue phase, and most importantly the gravity of his concealed heart, his rage, and what it all means—what he needs in order to grow and triumph.

Discussion of Enneagram types in the fandom is pretty scarce, but where it exists, I have only seen him labeled as a 2. Type 9 and type 2 can be similar at a glance in a lot of ways (actually, 9s can be mistaken for any type because they are like all of them combined). It’s easy to see Izuku as a 2 because he is the helping hero archetype. He puts others’ needs above his own and he is always ready and eager to help. If you listen to Sleeping At Last’s song for 2, you’ll notice that it’s all about care and noble sacrifice with the underlying theme of neglecting or even harming oneself: “I just want to build you up, until your good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too.” Sounds pretty obvious, right? Well, here’s the thing. You really get to know what your type is by how it hits you where it hurts, so I like to focus on each type’s basic fear and basic desire, first and foremost, as a tell. A 2′s basic fear is of being worthless and unloved. Consequently, their most basic desire is to be loved. And 2s have been taught through their negative experiences that love is conditional, something they have to earn from others. They need to be needed. So let’s say you think Izuku is a 2. This means you consider his heroic, self-sacrificing tendencies to be a result of his growing up quirkless and being told he is worthless and powerless because of it. Through this lens, he is trying to prove himself to the world by being useful. Along these lines, you may also assume he is trying to prove himself to Katsuki. Taking this train of thought even further, you may interpret Izuku’s relationship with Katsuki as an obsession of his, where he is either blind to Katsuki’s more negative traits in favor of gaining his love and praise, or else bitterly determined to prove him wrong. This is how a 2 might behave in an unhealthy relationship with an 8, which, yes, I do think Katsuki is an 8. That’s a tangent for another time, though.

But does Izuku ever “need to be needed?” It’s worth noting that while 2s’ search for validation might seem insincere, it is actually motivated by a deep, heartbreaking insecurity. They think they don’t even deserve love unless they are useful to someone, so they do everything they can to be worthy. Does Izuku show signs of this motivation?

If I stop to think about it, I can’t exactly see this in Izuku’s character. Yeah, his dream is to be a hero, and in his childhood, he was denied that dream. However I think we need to take a step back from that for a second if we want to dig deep. I mean, a lot of the other characters also behave heroically, act selflessly, and strive to help. Does that mean all of them are 2s as well? Of course not. So let’s instead turn to observe how Izuku acts with his loved ones, friends, and peers in other/adjacent contexts:

Inko: He is committed to protecting his mother from fearing for his safety. He wants to be good enough to not cause her to worry, rather than good enough to make her proud or make her love him. Idk about his father but at this point I think it’s safe to assume he is deeply unimportant.

All Might: I would describe their relationship as one of mutual responsibility. Izuku feels a responsibility to uphold All Might’s legacy, All Might feels a responsibility to teach him well. Because of this mutuality, I don’t think it quite makes sense to say Izuku deliberately seeks approval for its own sake. You know what I mean? They may be a mentor and a pupil but in practice they are almost more like co-conspirators. They don’t really have a power dynamic going on.

Shouto, Tenya, other friends: Izuku seems to take an interest in what makes his friends tick, and he sets himself aside in order to both analytically and intuitively determine what’s wrong and how to solve it. Examples include his fight against Shouto in the sports festival, and his stubborn concern for Tenya’s reaction to his brother’s forced retirement. He will put himself in the line of fire specifically when confronted with another person’s inner demons. This is not a labor that is asked of professional heroes, it’s just who Izuku is. You can also extend this observation to how he sees through Tomura to Tenko, but I’ll get to that later. Basically, while 2s seek to help in all kinds of ways, a 9’s strategy is always centered on the realm of the mind.

Kota: Adjacent to the paragraph above, before Izuku literally gets into a position where he needs to save Kota, he becomes interested in the boy’s point of view out of genuine curiosity. He doesn’t go “oh no, this kid doesn’t like heroes, I better get him to like heroes.” Instead he seeks out information as to why he thinks that way, and patiently listens. He’s sorry about what happened to Kota, and he understands. Twice (ch 71 and 72), he recognizes the fact that everyone has their own point of view on quirks, and he can’t really do anything about that.

Mirio: This might be one of the most telling examples. Mirio is the platonic ideal of an All Might successor. He’s “perfect.” He even looks the part. While this initially makes Izuku uncomfortable, he doesn’t become insecure and defensive over it. On the contrary, he easily comes to the conclusion that actually, Mirio should have One for All. Just like that (ch 172). If Mirio hadn’t dismissed the “hypothetical,” he probably would have gone through with giving it to him. That’s not how a 2 would respond. A 2 would double down and aim to be better than Mirio by trying to establish some relationship of need, fueled by the insecurity. Their shared subplot with Eri would have looked pretty different, I think.

Katsuki: I’ve mentioned before that I believe their rivalry only exists because Katsuki put it there. First of all, we can see that after the sludge villain incident, Izuku weirdly takes Katsuki’s dismissal of Izuku’s help as practical advice. Like, “oh yeah, I guess what I did was pretty stupid and dangerous, and I’m not cut out for this hero stuff. Now I can move on and find a realistic career.” Hello?? He accepted that so easily. So Izuku clearly isn’t motivated by a desire to prove himself to Katsuki. Even when he proclaims he’s going to surpass him, it’s like he’s happily mimicking Katsuki, not reacting based on insecurity or pride. Izuku is content to meet Katsuki wherever he is, and he’s satisfied with whatever kind of relationship they are able to have, including a rivalry, so he isn’t vying for his affection either. We can observe this when he gives up the role of reaching out a hand to save Katsuki to Kirishima, and also when he thinks about how “blessed” he is to even have a normal conversation with Katsuki. He doesn’t push things. It’s also stated in Deku vs. Kacchan 2 that Izuku doesn’t excuse or overlook Katsuki’s “bad side” but still admires him for his other traits. This is not at all characteristic of a toxic 2x8 relationship.

When 2s are at their very worst or pushed into unhealthy situations, they tend to become more needy and self-centered, even downright manipulative. But at Izuku’s worst, when he went rogue, he pushed everyone away to avoid being a burden. When the refugees at UA tried to prevent him from returning, he was like, “you’re right” and would have turned back immediately if not for his friends, loved ones, and other people who care about him telling him it was all okay. Meanwhile, Katsuki, in true 8 fashion, was pissed off at being rejected and having to deal with Izuku’s stubborn and evasive side (oh yeah, have I mentioned 9s are actually stubborn as hell?), but he made sure to establish that they are (he is) here to step in when Izuku can’t handle things by himself. Katsuki even opened up and admitted to his own weaknesses to show why mutual support is so important. Tbh, a lot of the above can be construed as just super healthy type 2 behavior, but not this. The way Izuku acts at his lowest, and his dynamic with Katsuki? Totally different. Dead giveaway for a 9.

Let’s get into the type 9 itself in more detail to show how it applies to Izuku more deeply—seriously, it’s beat for beat. One of the key differences is, while 2s seek validation, 9s are actually resigned to the belief that they aren’t important. Similar to 2s, a 9′s basic fear is of separation, but their basic desire is actually just peace or harmony rather than love. Notice how these motivations are just like a 2’s, except they have the “self” part taken out. With that in mind, they “achieve” their basic desire through selflessness in and of itself, without the need for recognition. That’s not to say that 9s are better than 2s. In fact, a 9 can be worse, in a way. If unhealthy, they will seek peace at almost any cost to themselves. In other words, they can be more self-destructive while still under the impression that they are doing just fine. “Peace” may refer to the expression of empathy, fulfilling the needs of others, sheltering someone, or mediating a fight—but also to repressing their own opinions and needs, not “rocking the boat,” ignoring negative emotions, or becoming a vessel for someone else to vent to.

What about inner peace? 9s value serenity, and thus they have a complicated relationship with the most tumultuous of emotions: anger. On the surface, 9s look like the type that is extremely slow to anger and highly tolerant. However, as much as they would like to believe this about themselves too, deep down, 9s are afraid of what might happen if they lose control. My phrase for it is this: I feel like a bottled tornado. Personally, I also think of anger as a basic desire to make others feel your pain—not necessarily sadistically, but in an effort to be known, to be understood. The difficult thing to grasp, especially for a 9, is that this is NOT inherently a bad thing. It isn’t wrong to seek sympathy. On the contrary, it is harmful to tell yourself that getting angry is wrong, because it’s like telling yourself that your pain is wrong, your pain doesn’t matter.

The problem is it doesn’t stop there. A 9, in shutting down their anger, ends up with such a low opinion of their own heart, their other emotions dull along with it. They cry less, laugh less, love less. It’s often said that they “fall asleep” to themselves. It all starts with anger. It’s interesting to note how different this whole mindset is from toxic masculinity—where men only feel allowed/able to express emotions through anger. This is sorta like the opposite. Anger becomes the dam rather than the river. For Izuku, I want us to consider that his suppression of anger carries with it the implication that he is hiding other things, too. It’s a given. There’s a whole sea of feelings out there, and we can only see the waves hitting the shore. This brings me to the whole “control your heart” thing. I do think it is worth mentioning that Banjou didn’t just tell Izuku to exercise control. He also told him that his anger could be useful if it is harnessed. With this added context, “control” here means “to master.” And Izuku seemed to grasp this concept… sorta. I think that if Izuku is like a 9, we can assume he has trouble understanding how anger could be a worthy source of strength. His emotions in relation to Katsuki feel more like a weakness to him, a character flaw in a hero, who is supposed to be detached and selfless. But he’s trying to understand, even though he’s afraid of it. He essentially applied the same strategy he used for mastering OFA itself: incremental strength training. Which, okay. Take a moment to absorb how odd that is, in relation to emotions, specifically. Does one learn to cry incrementally? Does one learn to use anger by bottling a fucking tornado?? Like, what, you think you’re gonna be able to let out juuust the right amount of air to avoid an explosion??? No, man… if you want to be the master of your emotions you have to be willing to sit with them. Confront them. Listen to them. Take them in completely and accept them as a part of yourself.

For someone like Izuku, though, it is very difficult to imagine how this is even possible. Tomura, as with every villain, can be used to reflect his hero counterpart’s greatest fear about himself. Tomura literally touches everyone and everything with his rage, and as a physical manifestation of that desire to pass his own pain onto others, destruction radiates from his fingertips. Thus, losing control in this manner must be Izuku’s worst nightmare, as if he would be completely unable to stop the collateral damage like an infinite line of dominoes. But his anger is not something he can overcome, as such.

An overarching theme in this heroes vs. villains conflict is that the villains are not merely obstacles to be overcome. Just think back to Himiko’s bitter rejection of the heroic sense of superiority. She demanded not to be pitied, condescended to, or lied to. Likewise, the answer cannot be that Izuku needs to restrain himself where Tomura doesn’t. What purpose would it serve to show that Izuku is better than him? Certainly not saving Tomura. If this was a battle against AFO, it might have been a different story. In that case, Izuku would have to overcome his emotional manipulation tactics. Tomura, on the other hand, is not so strategic. With his strangely childlike tendencies, he must relish making Izuku mad because it brings them closer to the same wavelength. It’s his own twisted way or seeking sympathy, or at least, the closest thing to sympathy he can get anymore, because he believes he is beyond saving. With that in mind, Izuku isn’t going to get anywhere unless he rises to meet him. Izuku has to match Tomura’s hatred with equally strong emotions of his own, whatever they may be, or else face the loss of OFA (as established in 305). This is not an easy thing to ask of a 9, once they have started to pull the blood from their extremities, become cold and numb. Bringing back circulation is painful and makes the skin crawl.

In case you’re worried about the focus on anger here, I want to reiterate that concealed anger in a 9 is just one sign of so much more. Back when everyone started fretting about Izuku’s habit of self-sacrifice, which would have been the only thing we need to worry about if he were a 2, I was freaking out because Izuku was also starting to look like a person who has too many secrets. You don’t even have to acknowledge the possibility that he lied about what triggered blackwhip. It’s written all over his face all the time these days. It’s especially noticeable when you contrast him with Katsuki after all his own growth. Katsuki confides in people. He acknowledges his weaknesses. He enjoys being himself. He asserts his place. He thinks about Izuku all the damn time and now he even lets himself be soft about it. All this warmth while Izuku is distant, muted, and blank. I know all too well what this state of mind is like. Man, I hate secrets. You get to the point where you don’t know how to talk about even the simplest most inconsequential shit. And the bigger things? They’re like a growing snowball of words in your throat that cannot possibly fit out of your mouth. The “easiest” way to cope is to simply fade into the rhythm of life. Go with the flow.

Since 9s have a natural curiosity about the interiority of other people, they may choose to focus on that in order to divert their own attention away from themselves. Taken to the extreme, they will lose track of their sense of self. Like I said, you can see Izuku doing this as he fights, analyzing the psyche of his opponent, and his match against Shouto in the sports festival was a fantastic early example. They became friends because of how observant Izuku is. His emotional intelligence and intuition are very strong, but gradually, as he has taken on greater responsibilities and experienced more trauma, he has gotten worse at applying these skills to himself. You know, we go on and on about how his narration has been reduced to nearly nothing, and it’s not just an absence of introspection, it’s an absence of self. It creates a lack of ownership over the narrative—what should be his narrative.

Right now, he’s focusing on trying to see Tomura as a person, figuring him out. I think it would be really satisfyingly ironic if in the process, he ends up uncovering insights about himself instead. It’s about time we learn what Izuku’s secrets are. I don’t actually think that Izuku mastering anger will constitute the emotion that is strong enough to keep Tomura from taking OFA. Moreover, he can’t expect to reach Tomura’s core, Tenko, unless he exposes his own. Rather, anger is the conduit for Izuku to unlock something else. Think of the way he described how Katsuki is his image of victory. The feeling manifests when he asserts a stronger sense of self (the urge to win) and he becomes more free with his words. I have no doubt that Tomura has the power to make unfiltered honesty spill out of him. He knows how to bring out his selfish needs, his pain, his pressure points, his fears, his insecurities. Hell, maybe Mt. Fuji erupting is a metaphor. I want to see Izuku explode while Tomura watches with mad glee. But then I want Izuku to Realize Things such that it finally sets him free. Then, instead of Tomura witnessing yet another person he touches fall apart, he gets to see someone become whole.

"I let the scale tip, feel all of it. It's uncomfortable but right. And we were born to try to see each other through. To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." --Sleeping At Last, 'Nine'

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Recovery

Words: 796

@wolfstarmicrofic

***

TW - mentions of former alcoholism/addiction and being in recovery

***

The wedding had gone off without a hitch. Even Lily’s family seemed to be happy, which for them was nothing short of a miracle. The day had been beautiful, they’d all cried at some point and by the time they sent James and Lily off to their honeymoon suite, almost everyone was ready to call it a night.

“Fancy a walk?” Remus asked, as the last of the wedding guests stumbled upstairs. “I’m not tired yet.” Sirius nodded and they took a side door out of the hotel and followed the path down to the lake. Remus walked ahead and sat at the end of the rickety jetty, Sirius following a moment later.

“I know this is quite possibly the worst time to bring this up,” Sirius started.

“But you’re going to anyway?”

“But I’m going to anyway.” He nodded, “I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for how things ended with us. I was an absolute monster towards the end and you tried so hard to help me and, yeah, I’m just really sorry, and thank you for trying so hard.”

Remus said nothing for a while, the two of them watched wildlife create ripples on the surface of the lake, and marvelled at the reflection of the moon.

“Lily said you’re sober now.”

“Six years and four months, yesterday.” He smiled.

“Wow, that’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you.” Remus squeezed Sirius’ thigh affectionately out of habit, then froze. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Sirius was glad that it was dark, he knew he was blushing. “It took about two weeks before I realised you weren’t coming back and then, bam, rock bottom.”

“I’m so—”

“Don’t be. I needed the wake up call. If you’d stayed much longer I’d have destroyed us both.” Sirius looked down at the water. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.” Remus said slowly. “It sounds like you’re doing really well.”

“There are good and bad days, like anything. Therapy helped a lot.” Sirius shrugged, “Another thing you were right about.”

“I feel like saying ‘I told you so’ is in bad taste.” Remus chanced a look at him and smiled.

“Nah, I deserve at least one, I reckon.” Sirius smiled back at him, taking in the way the moonlight picked out the beginnings of grey near his temples, and made his eyes seem to glow. He willed himself to look away for the sake of his self control.

“Well then. I told you so.” Remus said softly, looking out at the lake.

“Turns out I’d repressed a lot of stuff from being a kid and apparently that’s not good if you want to be a healthy adult. Yes, yes. I know you told me that too.” Remus bit his lip as he grinned and even just seeing the side of it made Sirius want. “I needed to lose you to get myself better, but it’s also the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much where I’ve been at with it.” Remus leant back on his elbows and looked up at the sky. “I was… miserable. For a long time. But I don’t think I’d be who I am now without that time in my life, you know?”

Sirius mirrored Remus’ movement and stared up at the stars. “Did you find someone?”

“To love?” Sirius nodded, “Nah. I looked for a while, had a few dates here and there, but nobody really interested me. It’s just me and my cat Peaches. What about you?”

“After I got out of self destruction mode, I didn’t date for a couple of years. I was with this guy Ed for a year or so but that fizzled, and it’s just been me for a few years now. I debated getting a cat, but it’s hard work taking care of myself, let alone another living thing.”

“It sounds stupid, but getting a cat made me look after myself more.” Remus chuckles and Sirius feels the sound in his chest. “Like I had someone else to be accountable to for the first time in ages and it made me want to do better.”

“Weirdly, I totally get what you mean.” He paused, “It’s hard to want to do things for yourself sometimes, right?”

“Exactly.” Remus nodded, “She makes sure I’m awake by 7 and making her breakfast by quarter past.”

“Still not a morning person?” Sirius knocked his shoulder into Remus’ gently.

“No,” he knocked Sirius back and laughed, “I go back to bed after feeding her way too often. She tries.” Before he could talk himself out of it, he gently rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah,” Sirius’ voice was barely audible as he leant his cheek on Remus’ hair. “This is ok.”

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY TALKING ABOUT KING AEGON II TARGARYEN FOR MAGAZINE UPROXX.

AEGON IS EQUAL PARTS DANGEROUS AND PATHETIC THIS SEASON. WHICH TRAIT DID YOU LEAN INTO MORE?

"I really wanted to find every color possible to his palette."

"I wanted to make him as intricate and as complex as he deserves, I think."

"And yeah, we see lots of different flavors."

"We see a vulnerability to him this time."

"We see desperation."

"I think people can call him a villain as much as they want."

"I think he thinks he’s a tragedy — just a desperately sad story in a physical form."

THERE ARE SO MANY AEMOND APOLOGISTS, BUT WHO'S REPPING FOR AEGON?

"This has been the story his entire life."

"He’s seen as weak, he’s seen as pathetic."

"Just someone give him a hug for crying out loud!"

AEGON CERTAINTLY HAS A BIGGER ROLE TO PLAY THIS SEASON WHICH REQUIRES MORE FROM YOU THAN IN SEASON ONE. WERE THERE ANY SCENES/MOMENTS YOU WERE UNSURE ABOUT TRANSLATING FROM THE SCRIPT TO THE SCREEN?

"Every scene I did, I didn’t know how it was going to pan out, and that’s kind of the way I like to go about playing Aegon."

"There’s no part of me that wants to have a preconceived idea of how the scene’s going to play."

"It lends itself to the way he is personality wise."

"He’s very impulsive."

"He doesn’t think things through very much, and I always like to catch myself off guard and surprise myself in those scenes."

"For me, that’s how I find authenticity in a moment."

"And that just means it’s different every time, and they can just choose which one they like."

"I don’t deal with the cut."

THERE'S A TRANSFER OF POWER BETWEEN AEGON AND OTTO IN EPISODE TWO. HOW IMPORTANT WAS THAT CONFRONTATION IN TERMS OF THE REST OF THE SEASON?

"Massive."

"We start to see ’em pull back the reins."

"We start to see ’em take a bit of control and use his authority and put people in their place when they need to be put in their place."

"He finds it stimulating."

YOU FINALLY GET TO RIDE A DRAGON THIS SEASON. DID YOU GET ANY TIPS FROM YOUR CASTMATES WHO'VE DONE IT ALREADY?

"It was actually, surprisingly straightforward."

"If you’re doing a full day up there, then yeah, you’re going to be tired."

"We had a lot of sort of strengthening and conditioning work that we’d keep doing, just so we had a pretty healthy baseline in terms of our physical strength and capabilities."

IF YOU COULD PLAY AEGON'S THERAPIST FOR A DAY WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE HIM?

"Be patient with himself."

"Stop comparing."

"Stop being jealous."

"Give yourself a break and go on holiday."

SO MUCH HAPPENED OFF SCREEN BETWEEN SEASONS ONE ANE TWO. IT TOOK YEARS TO FILM. THERE WERE STRIKES. HOW DID THAT EFFECT THE CAST AND THE VIBES ON SET.

"Yeah, you’ve got tunnel vision while you’re making this show and that’s how we like it."

"I think you sort of buckle down and stay in the zone and stay focused."

"Try and get as much sleep as you can."

"It takes its toll, but we all welcome that with open arms."

"It’s one of those kinds of once in a lifetime opportunities to be a part of a show like this and to play characters like these."

"We’re all very aware of that, and we’re all very grateful to be in the position we’re in, getting to bring these characters to life and share this fucking cool story with so many lovely fans."

IS THERE A LESSON YOU'RE LEARNED FROM FILMING THIS SEASON THAT YOU'LL TAKE WITH YOU INTO THE NEX PHASE OF YOUR CAREER?

"That’s a good question."

"I’m kind of still working that out."

"I’ve only been doing this [acting] for, well, eight years, really, so I’ve not had a great deal of experience."

"I feel like the responsibility to play a pivotal part in a project like this takes its toll, stamina wise, and you just need to make sure that you can keep up with the rhythm of everything."

"But I think taking your breaks where you can get them, surrounding yourself with people you love and trust as you’re doing it, you can be quite delicate in the process."

"And yeah, stay away from social media."

[pomegraphy]

How to Guide on Shadow work,

A loose Step by step and simple guide to shadow work.

Before you continue

I know we all saw those tiktok shadow work books and how easy it was! Now, so many people are trying to get into shadow work, but they just don't know how or what it actually is! So I'm here to try my best and explain what it is, the benefits, and the purpose of it! If anything I said is wrong, please let me know! Remember! Everything I say is just what I know works for ME. If it doesn't work for you, create a way that does work for you! Find more resources that can help you!

What exactly is Shadow work?

First, we have to understand what a Shadow is. Carl Jung is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who created the Jungian Archetypes. The term Shadow and what we're focusing on comes from Jung's model of psyche. The Shadow is the unconscious part of your mind that has all of the repressed aspects of oneself.

But what does this mean exactly?

It means that the Shadow embodies the unpleasant side of yourself. From unfilled desires, unhealed damage/trauma, and things you consider to be harmful. Also, it can be referred to as self-projecting.

People naturally repress their Shadow because it's things that are socially unacceptable, harmful, or hurts you in some way or form be mentally or physically.

Shadow Work

Now, Shadow Work is actually a type of psychotherapy in psychology. It involves exploring, acknowledging, and integrating the parts of yourself that you've previously repressed or even ignored.

The goal of Shadow Work is to recognize and acknowledge those parts of yourself. It's to learn that the parts you repress is who you are and those parts of yourself aren't good or bad. It's to learn how to accept yourself and who you are at your core.

How Shadow Work helps

Identifying and regulating your emotions (why do I feel this way? Am I angry at you or at myself?)

Improving your self esteem, self acceptance, self confidence, and self projecting

Strengthening and deepening relationships

Learning healthy coping mechanisms that work for YOU

Learning and how to modify self-sabotaging behaviors

Be cautious

It is easy to go down into a self deprecating spiral when doing this! Remember that the goal is to NOT highlight your worst qualities and get rid of them but to accept those qualities and learn how to live WITH those qualities. You are exploring yourself. This means self acceptance. By rejecting parts of yourself you are going down the opposite path!

How to approach shadow work?

Think of all of your 'cringiest/embarrassing' moments and stop thinking about how other people view it or what other people think or how you THINK they thought about it. Think about WHY you felt embarrassed in that moment. Be on your own side. Don't be an enemy to yourself or bully.

If something about a person triggers you (shocked, taken aback at their behavior), think how you would react to yourself exhibiting that behavior? Are you jealous or resentful of someone? Feel that feeling and really get to know it. Know exactly what you are feeling and know the exact cause.

Understand WHY you have negative behaviors. Did something happen in the past that made you develop that behavior? Once you acknowledge and recognize the cause of that behavior, you can then work towards a path of 'healing' in a way that you can accept it and find the next step towards a better sense of self that YOU can accept.

Recognize that the past does not exist. What exists is the present. If you felt embarrassed, something in your 'past' has conditioned you to feel that way. Your mind is still holding on to what has conditioned you. You have to learn to let go because the past is no longer happening right now. It doesn't exist, so there's no need to still feel conditioned to react embarrassed when it's already passed.

Everything you do as a habit, belief, or values that you don't fully understand will form and is your shadow.

Beware that you have things about yourself that you don't fully understand. Take time, reflect, recollect, and understand the things you don't get about yourself. There is never a 'I just picked this habit up.' Why did you pick that habit up? What made you pick it up? Is this a response to something that has happened to you before?

Why do you react a certain way? What caused it? When did you start doing it? What emotions do you feel during it? Why do you feel those emotions?

How do you motivate yourself? Why do you motivate yourself that way? What caused you to do it that way? Is it harmful or helpful? Why?

Integrate your Shadow to yourself. Find ways to express these unconscious things you repress in a healthy way.

Results of Shadow Work

It is important that as you see results that you MUST be kind to yourself. You must be patient and not rush through it. Setbacks are normal. Go at your own pace and take breaks. Everyone has a shadow. Do not feel upset over the things you learn about yourself. Seek help from others. It's okay to find a support system during this process. Whether it be from a professional or someone close to you.

Tips

Journaling your progress.

Be persistent

Be patient

Understand that not everyone goes on the same Shadow working process. Learn what does and doesn't work for you.

[stone-stars]

Transcript:

Albin (Murph): Uh, Calliope, do you have a name? Emily: Uh, I think Calliope looks through her criminal [laughs] stack of fake passports with fake names and fake identities, but she's like, you know what? This is a chance to try on a hat that I once really wanted to wear. And I think she thinks back to TGI Skydays when she saw Freddy proposing to Addie. [The others laugh.] And she thought of like, how nice it must be to not have to find your own purpose because you can just make someone else your purpose. Albin: Oh, no. Caldwell: Aw? Emily: And she thinks back to Glenn. Albin: (desperately) No. Emily: And she said-- Callie (Emily): I would like to be… Glennifer-- Albin: [laughs] Oh no. No. Callie: --Skydays. [Caldwell laughs.] Calder (Jake): I… I hate it and like it at the same time. Albin: Okay so… I see… Sol (Caldwell): I mean it's got a real ring to it. Albin: Right… okay… Callie: Glennifer. Albin: Glennifer. Sol: Glennifer Skydays. Callie: Skydays. Albin: Skydays. And you spell that… just… Calder: But it's like in a strong, healthy, I don't need this anymore-- Albin: Like, okay, so it's a combination-- Callie: No no no. Absolutely not. Calder: Oh, okay. [Caldwell laughs.] Albin: So it's a combination-- Callie: It's like when you took-- it's like when you took the potion of fire breathing to see like, if you'd like it. Calder: Oh. Yeah. Right. Albin: Isn't Jennifer your therapist's name? Callie: [laughs] yes. Albin: So you've-- Callie: I've combined it. Albin: The source-- the source of your pain? Callie: Look, I have an erotic impulse towards both of them! [Emily laughs.] Albin: We're not gonna dig any deeper into that. Sol: Right. No. Calder: I did drink the fire breathing potion. I'm gonna stay out of your way. Albin: Tha-- very good, Glennifer. Sol? Caldwell: Um, Sol also thinks back to the TGI Skydays. [Emily laughs.] Albin: Why? Is there? We don't-- We don't have to. Caldwell: Uh, Sol's in full panic mode [Murph: Okay.] And like, he hears the word Skydays, thinks back, and very confidently with a shaky grin goes Sol: Potato… Skindersin? Albin: Yes! [Emily laughs.] Very good. Sol: Final answer. Calder: That is on the menu. Albin: Okay. Your name is… Potato. Sol: Tater to my friends! Albin: Tater to your friends. Calder: Alright, Tate! Callie: I'm only Glennifer. Albin: Only Glennifer. Full name. Callie: You can't-- if you collapse it, then you miss out half of myself. Albin: Calder, please! Sol: Bring us home. Jake: Calder thinks deeply about TGI Skydays. [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Albin: Please. Calder. I beg of you. You're all gonna die. You're all going to die. Calder: I remember… when I spoke with the waiter about not being served. Albin: Okay? Calder: I clocked that his name was Doug. Albin: D-- okay. Well, that's a name! Yes, that's a normal name. Okay. Calder: It is a name. Alright. Doug. Albin: Doug? Calder: Doug DaVirgin. Albin: Doug-- [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Okay. Like he's a virgin. Calder: That's right. Albin: Great. Okay. Sol: That's-- that's a little character work in there too. I like that! Calder: I just-- I project that onto Doug. Callie: I'm the heiress to the Skydays fortune-- Albin: Jesus. Callie: --and I'm married to Glen. Albin: So you took his name by adding it to your first name? Callie: As is the custom. Albin: Okay. Sol: And it's not really important to the mission but Tater does fuck a lot. Albin: (so, so tired) Okay. Sol: And it's fun because like, Doug's a virgin but Tater fucks a lot but we're still really good friends. Calder: We are! Yeah. Albin: Really good stuff everyone. Calder: Doug's a wingman. Sol: Yeah!