#And it means he is still losing things to those gems

[corsairspade]

I was going to say we need to be weirder about Maglor but then I remembered crablor. That’s on me. We need to also be DIFFERENT weird about Maglor.

Maglor who walks along the coast for thousands of years and does not stop singing. Maglor who after ages of the world have passed, has a voice that is made only for music. When he speaks, there is something too lyrical to the tone. He sighs and the world accompanies him. His raised voice sets the ground shaking, his laments call water like tears from the sky. He has to be careful when he speaks to people, however rare that is, because of it. He weeps and those who can hear him cannot help but weep as well. Maglor with a voice so powerful that he can no longer use it the way he could when the world was young. One more thing lost to the Oath.

[midascrow]

Alastor x Reader

————

Favoritism Pt.2(1.5)

Part 1

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Synopsis: Alastor finds himself wondering why exactly he favors you so much

a/n: this is more of a part 1.5 really, as it’s mostly just Alastair’s perspective of what’s going on, but I figured you guys would enjoy this 🍓

———————-<>—————————-<>———-

Fluffy red ears twitched back and fourth, listening to the idle and mindless chatter of the hotel inhabitants.

Alastor couldn’t help but feel a certain sense of mirth at the topic of discussion. While he made no attempts to hide his blatant bias, he hadn’t thought he was quite that obvious.

Though a tiny part of him felt a bit smug, especially at the claim of that empty headed serpent. A kiss?

The idea wasn’t unpleasant but he was unfortunately mistaken.

The two of you had never shared such an intimate gesture, much less in the company of others.

No-, he supposed the closest you had ever gotten was a small bump of the nose to one another’s. It wasn’t an inherently romantic gesture on the radio demons part, more instinctual than anything, but he could suppose there had been a certain layer of affection lined in the action nonetheless.

“What do you suppose they’re talking about Al..?”

His ears twitched forward to fully take in the sound of your candied voice.

Alastor didn’t consider himself a fan of sweet things like candy and cakes. But he always seemed to make an exception when it came to you.

“Hm..~ Seems our dear friends are under the impression that you and I are…an item of sorts.” His smile twitched, inching upwards with amusement when he saw the way your eyes widened, a warmth on your cheeks that roused a small huff of pride from his nose.

“Oh…well that doesn’t..upset you?��right?” Your concern is down right precious. So bothered with his comfort that it makes the fabric of his tail coat shift, just briefly.

“Hmm~…perhaps if it were another sinner who they believed I had such relations with. However because it’s you my dear, I can’t seem to find myself bothered by the idea.”

You were far too naive. (Cute). Your sparkly gaze almost made him angry. Like he wanted to squeeze you till it eased the tight sensation in his chest. Though he wouldn’t dare to act on such an impulse. For fear of losing such pleasant company of course.

But he couldn’t stop himself from teasing you. Just a little. “Infact…I’d say I’m rather flattered by the notion~. To think they see me a fit partner for a gem like you.”

That feeling got subsequently stronger as he watched you bury your face into the crook of your shoulder, a shy, perhaps embarrassed smile painting your lips and making a that shifting of his tail coat return. Like those aforementioned sweets had found their way into his system and subsequently thrown him into a vicious sugar rush. His heart was practically bouncing off the walls of his ribcage, though he hadn't the faintest idea why.

“Alastor…” His name was a garbled whine, swatting at him playfully as you returned to dusting the bannister, distracting yourself as he sidled beside you still, ever attendant while his shadow fluttered around, moving glasses and nicknacks for you to dust off. “Are you going to tell them then..?”

“What ever do you mean?”

Your eyes glanced back, lips pursed. “Well…you are going to tell them we’re not together right?”

Well that sounded unpleasant, and his immediate thought had been an internal grimace. But he pondered the thought for a moment, mindful of the eyes on both your backs as he stepped around the side of you, clawed hands dancing across your shoulder and arm thoughtfully.

“Hmm…~..No.”

He paused, ears twitched backwards as his lips connected gently with the skin of your nose, sweet and lingering as he failed to ignore the twitch of his grin at the gasps that echoed behind.

“No fucking way.”

“I say let them wonder..~”

……

Alastor could admit, even by his standards this was a bit mean.

His “loving” gestures had amped up quite a bit the following week at the hotel.

Lingering touches, thoughtful hand placements, small gestures and sweet words. Nothing explicitly romantic…but there was always something implied in his gaze that perhaps even he himself wasn't aware of.

It wasn’t in an intentional effort to lead you on. He was hardly that cruel. But some part of him…found deep satisfaction in watching your eyes shine and your cheeks darken and become hot.

And that itch had only gotten worse too.

Sometimes it was small. An urge to pinch your cheek which he acted on, mindful of his claws in doing so. His ears always twitched at your disgruntled whines, always tuned to your words and noises. Even unintentionally.

There had been one moment when, your silly little self had gotten caught on that same rug, again. Alastor had been on the other side of the room, but the moment your squeak reached his ears, they swiveled back, and a mass of tentacles lurched up from the ground, gently rolling you onto you greet before disappearing like they had never existed.

And Alastor hadn’t even turned around, still idly chatting with the stunned princess who barely hid her ever widening smile.

Husker seemed the most displeased with his current antics. Always preaching to the others that this was a trick. That he was playing with you. Toying with you.

The radio demon wished that was the case now.

Frankly, he wasn’t sure why he was doing it. He knew he favored you above the others. That was natural. Instinctual. Obvious. And while the others reactions, especially those of the spear wielding ex angel and the gambler were fairly amusing, if that had been the soul purpose it was likely he would’ve grown bored by now. And he would’ve stopped.

But it wasn’t. And he hadn’t.

And it was all becoming a bit overwhelming.

Yet you didn’t question it. Sometimes your brow would raise, at a particularly bold gesture or comment sent your way, and yes your eyes would dart around as if to see who was watching. But you never complained. And if he didn’t know any better, he’d say you were enjoying yourself, if the sweetheart smile that graced your lips after each instance was anything to go off.

So Alastor didn’t feel the need to label what he was experiencing or truly ponder why. He was enjoying himself, as were you. To him, nothing needed to be said.

“So are you two bangin or nah?”

Though he supposed not everyone felt the same.

Taglist: @preciousbabypeter @ouroborostheunholy @chirimeimei @shanksstrawhat @for-hearthand-home @random-3455 @ittoehurt @salutations-demonsanddappers

(Anyone who wanted to be tagged and wasn’t, for whatever reason your blogs weren’t showing up,🍓)

[meanbossart]

When you described the fashion that Drow dislikes it made me think about Bhaalist AU. Becasue Astarion on that one piece (the one with a mirror) looks exactly like your description. It's a bit ironic and I love it. Drow appreciates practicality. But Bhaalist Drow doesn't think Astarion needs to dress practical, Astarion is there to look pretty and Bhaalist Drow is there to make sure he is safe :) Do you have any more thoughts on how their (Drow vs Bhaalist Drow) perspective differ when it comes to clothing?

VERY WELL OBSERVED!

I would say, though, that it's more of a mixture of the things DU drow genuinely and consistently finds "tasteful" and the ostentatious garishness that he appalls in his redeemed path - and that is very much the character in a nutshell, a slightly more honed version of the person he used to be pre-tadpole, but who still requires that status and approval. He's more in control now - both of himself and of the world around him - but he's by no means "better".

By dressing Astarion up in a way that could be understated but then loading him with gold, silver and gems, he's making him a symbol of status as well. Astarion isn't supposed to look impressive, he's supposed to make him look impressive. And of course the fact that he's bound and weighted down in riches speaks for itself.

What's funny about Bhaalist DU drow AND "canon" drow, is that they both believe to be a new and improved person when compared to who they were prior to losing their memories. They would both mock him for his obsession with Orin, his weaknesses, his obnoxiousness, his appearance, his obsession with gold and jewels and intricate outfits - and they're both hypocritical for it in their own ways.

A Bhaal-Embracing DU drow would forego of a lot of the glitz and the murder-glamor that his past-self valued so much, especially in fashion, and treat his body itself far more like the statement piece it's supposed to be. Astarion, on the other hand would be showered with those kinds of gifts - because as mentioned earlier, he gets to be the expensive purse that DU drow carries around with him everywhere. He can care about looking nice and pretty, because he doesn't have much more of a purpose than that.

Canon DU drow, on the other hand, values things much more based on comfort, both in the practical and emotional sense. He doesn't value the individual rings he loots around, but having them on makes him feel nice even if they're cheap, scuffed, or just out of place with the rest of his look. Stealing pretty valuables is more of a fun past-time with his significant-other than a genuine lust for gold. Nice clothes are a treat, but not necessary, and regardless of his personal preferences he doesn't truly care about what his partner has on at all, as long as they seem happy about it. This is the biggest difference between the two versions of this character - they both want to make their better-halves happy, but only one of them cares whether or not it's a genuine kind of happiness.

[willowsnook]

Let me in

Hi! Love your idea for a prompt list. Can I order: A turkey swiss on wheat bread, maybe mike’s way if you feel like it’s fitting for the sandwich?

Joe burrow x bsf!reader

Please don’t leave

—-----------------------------------------

Fall in Cincinnati was something that you loved. The trees changed colors, you could start leaving your windows open, and, of course, Bengals football. Now, you’d never claim that you were a die-hard fan, that was still reserved for your beloved Green Bay Packers, but after 5 years in the city, they were a solid 2nd favorite. Plus, being good friends with the starting quarterback meant you had to root for them. 

You met Joe at a charity event a year after you moved to Ohio. Working for a Cincinnati-specific lifestyle magazine, your recommendations and reviews had made you quite well known in the city. Your strategy was always finding small, hidden gem places, usually family-owned, to review and elevate. This fulfilled your need to make a difference and also get paid to eat food. 

While your job was so public and in the spotlight, you were pretty introverted, which surprised a lot of people. You didn’t necessarily enjoy being the center of attention, focusing more on making those around you shine. This meant that while you were appreciative of being recognized by the community, you hated going to big events; you’d much rather just be writing about them. 

So when the introverted star of Cincinnati joined you in the shadows of an event, the two of you hit it off. Knowing who you were, his PR team had noticed and pitched a content series involving Joe. You spent a whole day with him, going to places he recommended and giving instant reviews. Initially, you were worried about it being awkward because you didn’t know him well, but you both had a blast. Joe was easy to talk to, and he liked that you treated him like anyone else. 

After that, he’d invited you to hang out with his friends several times, and Ja’marr really liked you, insisting that you be added to the friend group. Since then, you’d spent the last couple of years being forced to go to every home Bengals game, but you could also easily force one of them to help you with some kind of content for work. A mutually beneficial friendship you thought. 

Midway through the week, you were back at your apartment, taking pictures of some cookies someone sent you to be considered for an upcoming article you were writing. You snapped the perfect picture just as your phone rang, and you looked over to see it was Joe calling. 

“What’s up?” You said, putting the phone on speaker. 

“I’m bored. Can I come hang?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I’m doing some work, but I’ll be done soon.”

“Okay, I’m on my way.” 

You were used to Joe calling you randomly to hang out, especially when the season was going poorly. One thing you learned in your years of friendship with him was that he didn’t like to be alone, mostly so he didn’t spiral thinking about everything. You were happy to be a friend he could lean on. 

15 minutes later, you heard your front door open and smiled as Joe wandered into the kitchen. He gave you a small squeeze from behind as you leaned over your laptop. 

“Are you doing anything with these?” He asked, and you looked over at the cookies. 

“No, I just got done. Have at it,” you replied, amused as he shoveled one into his mouth. 

“These are pretty good,” he said, swallowing. “But I’ve had better.”

“Hmm,” you thought. “What don’t you like about them?”

“Too grainy,” he said, and you agreed, unable to think of what you were feeling. 

“That’s a good point; I’m using that,” you said, typing it down in your notes. 

“Watch out, I’m going to steal your job,” he joked, and you smirked. 

“Does that mean I get yours?”

“You’d probably do a better job than me right now,” he said, and you frowned, shutting your laptop. 

“You are still a superstar, even when you lose,” you told him earnestly, getting a small smile from him. 

“I think I need you with a headset on to tell me that during the games,” he said, and you laughed. 

“Yeah yeah,” you replied, blushing. “Want to take a walk or something? I need to get out of the house.” 

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The two of you walked down the street and ventured towards the water, chatting about upcoming events and his family coming to visit. You started to get chilly and held your arms briefly before Joe noticed. He pulled his hoodie off with one hand and handed it to you, not even stopping what he was saying. You pulled it on, inhaled the lingering cologne, and sighed. 

“Will you come to dinner with us tomorrow night?” he asked, jolting you back to reality.

“With your parents?” you asked, and he nodded. “Would that not be a little weird?”

“Why would it be weird?” 

“I don't know. I just wouldn’t want them to think we were dating or anything,” you said, confused. Joe frowned at that, but you didn’t have time to analyze it. 

“Ja’marr is coming too,” he said. “You are both my best friends, so I’d like you to meet them.” 

“Okay, if it’s important to you,” you agreed, giving in. Dinner with Joe’s parents. Huh. Sometimes you really didn’t understand why he chose you as a best friend when many people were fighting over it. If only people knew how clingy Mr. Cool was. 

—---------------------------------------------------

Ja’Marr picked you up from your place the next night and the two of you headed to dinner. 

“You look nice,” he commented, and you smiled. You and Ja’Marr had a flirty relationship, but nothing had ever come of it. One time, when you were both very drunk in the offseason, you had made out but it didn’t last long with him backing out, saying that Joe was going to kill him. You had just assumed that Joe didn’t want anyone in the friend group dating in case it got messy, which was understandable. With Ja’marr, you were mostly just attracted to him vs. wanting something more. 

“I still feel weird about this whole thing,” you admitted to him and he gave you a lazy smirk. 

“Please, they’ll love you,” he assured you. 

“That’s not what I’m worried about; I’m amazing,” you said, causing him to laugh. “I just think it’s weird and intimate. Like if my parents were in town, yeah, maybe I wouldn’t mind them meeting you guys at the game or to celebrate in a group after. But I wouldn’t invite you for a small dinner.” 

Ja’Marr gave you a look you couldn’t decipher before laughing to himself. 

“I’ll try not to take offense to that,” he said and you rolled your eyes. 

The restaurant was a nicer one that you had been to before for work. Joe’s parents stood up as you approached the table and warmly greeted you. His mom pulled you into a tight hug, laughing about how excited she was to meet you finally. You shot Ja’Marr a look and found him trying not to laugh. You could tell Joe was embarrassed, which made the situation a little amusing. 

Sitting down beside him, he gave you an easy smile while handing you the drink menu. Joe’s dad jumped into conversation with Ja’Marr about the season while Robin asked you a ton of questions about your job and basically your whole life. You ended up loving his parents; they were the sweetest people. While you might have missed the way that Joe was looking at you the whole dinner, his parents definitely did not. 

“It was so good to meet you y/n,” Robin gushed. “I’m sure we’ll see much more of you in the future.” 

You smiled, confused, while Ja’Marr couldn’t hold back his laugh. Joe’s face turned bright red and his dad chuckled. 

—------------------------------------------------

If you had thought the season was going poorly before it was a million times worse now. It seemed like each week, your two friends were putting up superstar numbers but still losing. After watching them lose by just a point to the Ravens, you clicked the TV off and sighed. Reaching for your phone you texted him a white heart and watched him read it and not reply. He usually would, even after a loss, but this one was tough so you didn’t pay much mind to it. 

As the week went on, you started to feel Joe’s tension about the team bleed into your friendship. He wasn’t answering your calls and had replied to any text you had sent him with just one word. What had really pissed you off though, was that he was supposed to shoot a Thanksgiving promo with you about places that provided free food for those who needed it and he didn’t show. 

“I get that you’re having a tough time right now and while I can live with you being a bad friend I can’t live with you 1. making me look bad professionally and 2. disappointing people making a difference. So give me a call when you figure your shit out,” you ranted to his voicemail. 

You were supposed to fly out for the game this weekend but weren’t sure if you still should. Calling Ja’Marr, you complained about Joe being a dick and that you didn’t know what to do. He assured you that you should still come and that Joe was just hurting because of the season. The best thing you could do was be there for him, even in the shadows. 

The game started out horribly with it being 24-6 leading into halftime. But a different team came out in the third quarter, and you went crazy as the Bengals got ahead. But like the week before, no matter what Joe did, even throwing for over 350 yards, they still lost in the end. You lingered by the locker room after the game and smiled sadly as you saw Ja’Marr first. He wrapped you in a hug, and he was happy to have you there. Joe on the other hand, did not look happy to see you. 

“What are you doing here?” he said coldly, and both you and Ja’Marr flinched. His teammate gave him a weird look, but Joe was just staring at you blankly. 

“I’ve had these tickets since before the season, you know that,” you replied. 

“I didn’t want you to come,” he said and you tried to ignore the hurt you felt. “Did you not get the hint from me ignoring you all week?” 

“Oh, so is that why you stood up the charity?” You bit back. “So that I would ‘get the hint’?”

Joe didn’t say anything, clenching his jaw and Ja’Marr tried to step in. 

“I wanted her to come man,” he said and Joe snapped his head towards his friend. 

“Well just fuck her then and get over it,” he replied and your jaw dropped. Ja”Marr shoved him backward, yelling at him before security intervened. You recovered from your shock and turned around, abruptly leaving the stadium. You called an Uber to take you back to the hotel, and the massive traffic gave you a lot of time to process what had just happened. 

You could understand him being upset over the game, especially since it was so fresh in his mind. But it’s not like you went up to him; he came up to you. This man was supposed to be your best friend, and he basically just called you a whore to your face. This shit was ridiculous. 

30 minutes later, you were walking into the hotel. Ja’Marr had tried calling, but you declined. You called the airline you were flying with to see if there was any chance of flying out early, and you were lucky to snag a seat on the last flight out. You quickly packed up your stuff after changing into a comfier outfit and headed down to the lobby to check out and call a car. 

Turning to head out the door you stopped as you saw Joe walking in, his eyes trained on you. He looked miserable and he made his way towards you slowly. 

“Y/n..” he started, his eyes filling up with tears, but you stopped him from saying anything else. 

“I’m leaving,” you said emotionlessly. He tried to reach out to you, but you flinched back and pain flashed across his face. 

“I need to talk to you y/n,” he begged. “Please don’t leave.” 

“Why would I stay?” You asked softly. “Goodbye, Joe.” 

You left him standing there wondering why it felt like your own heart was breaking into two. 

—-----------------------------------------------

It had been two weeks since then, and you had successfully avoided Joe at all costs. He blew up your phone of course but you have yet to answer. Luckily he hadn’t tried coming to your apartment because he knew you well enough to know that it’d piss you off. 

You were on your way to hang out with Ja’Marr for a group movie night which he promised you that Joe would not be at. You don’t know why you even believed him; Joe’s car was parked in the front driveway and you almost reversed until you saw Ja’Marr waving his arms at you. Stepping out, you crossed your arms, waiting for him. 

“I knew you wouldn’t come if you knew he was here,” he started and you scoffed. 

“You were right.”

“I am miserable because he is y/n,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry but I will be selfish for a minute. He is being a dick at practice to everyone and isn’t throwing me good balls. He’s moody, won’t say a word to me, and won’t leave his house unless necessary. So please let him make it up to you. You two belong together.”

“He called me a whore Ja’Marr!” You exclaimed frustrated and gave you a sympathetic look. 

“I know he did, and that was terrible. I tried to fight him on your behalf,” he said, earning a small smile from you. “God I shouldn’t tell you this but he’s so in love with you it’s insane. He’s hurting and you’re hurting. Please just talk to him.”

“He’s not in love with me,” you said and he just rolled his eyes. 

“Believe what you want but get in there,” he said steering you towards the door. 

The good thing was that there were a few other people here from your friend group, so technically, you didn’t even have to talk to him. He was the first person you saw when you walked in so clearly, this was a coordinated effort between the two friends. 

Joe did look sad, and you wanted to be happy about it, but you couldn’t find it in yourself. He was dressed down in grey sweats and a black T-shirt, his hair looking like he had run his hands through it over and over. His eyes were puffy, and that made your heart clench. 

“Are we ready to start?” One of your other friends called from the living room and you started to walk towards the room but Joe gently grabbed you, pulling you closer to him and letting Ja’Marr pass. 

“Can we talk?” He mumbled quietly to you and you nodded, letting him pull you into the study. You stood with your arms crossed as you looked at him, waiting. 

“I’m sorry y/n. I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I was hurting so bad and I took it out on you. The one person who has always been there for me.” 

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it Joe,” you said, frustrated. “It’s not like it was just the comment; it was the week leading up to it, missing the event. I can’t be there for you when you don’t let me in.”

You had imagined how this conversation would go multiple times over the past few weeks. You expected an apology and another apology, but you did not expect Joe Burrow to start sobbing in front of you. 

He sunk against the wall and had his head in his hands while he was crying. Your shock wore off, and you knelt down in front of him, moving in between his legs. He looked up and your heart broke at his tear-stained face. 

“What is going on, Joe?” You asked softly, wiping some of his tears with your thumb. 

“I just don’t know what to do,” he whispered. “Everything is going wrong, and I don’t feel like I’m in control. I do everything I can, and it’s still not enough.” 

“Oh Joey,” you murmured, pulling his head into your shoulders. He held on to you tightly as he cried and you ran your hand through his hair gently. 

“I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I’m sorry I hurt you; I hated myself the second I said it.” 

“I forgive you Joe,” you told him, looking into his teary eyes. 

“I don’t deserve you; I’m not good enough for you,” he said. “I want to be enough for you.”

You cupped his face gently, making him look at you. Your own eyes started to water at the vulnerability he was showing.

"Joe, you’ve always been enough for me," you whispered. "You don’t have to prove anything. Not to me, not to anyone. I’m here for you, not for what you do or don’t achieve."

His brows furrowed, and he shook his head slightly, his hands moving to hold yours. "You don’t understand, y/n. I don’t just want to be your best friend—I want to be everything to you. And I’ve been so afraid of ruining our relationship that I pushed you away instead."

Your breath caught in your throat. "Joe..."

"I love you," he said, his voice breaking, but his gaze held steady. "I’ve been in love with you for so long, and I didn’t know how to tell you. But pushing you away hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt on the field. I can’t lose you."

For a moment, the weight of his words left you speechless. You searched his face, finding nothing but raw sincerity. Your heart ached, but in the best way, as if it were piecing itself together after being fractured.

"I love you too, Joe," you admitted to him and yourself, a soft smile breaking through the tears on your face. "But you have to let me in. No more shutting me out, no matter how hard things get. We figure it out together, okay?"

His hands tightened around yours, and he nodded, relief washing over his features. "Together. I promise."

You leaned forward, gently kissing his forehead before resting your own against it. The two of you walked out of the study and into the living room, where everyone else was already engrossed in the movie. Ja’Marr looked between the two of you and at your connected hands and gave you a wide smirk. Joe moved to the big armchair and pulled you down with him, and you snuggled into his lap. His arms wrapped around you, and you finally felt content. 

[msnova-scotia]

Thinking about Lydia Barkrock, and how her entire party was killed during a mission. How she not only had to plunge a soul gem into her heart, but was constantly in a state of rage to keep a devil trapped inside the gem. And how she had to make her way all the way back home by herself, all without the ability to walk. Maybe in this new constant state of rage, she got angered at every little thing. The bars she wrecked on the way back, picking in a fight with anyone and everyone. The inn rooms she left a mess because she couldn’t even sleep and enjoy the room. Days, maybe even weeks later, finally making it home to a young Ragh.

Snapping at him for the first time since she got home, and seeing terror in his eyes, knowing she caused him to feel afraid of her more than he ever has before. Realizing she can’t keep doing this, she can’t keep letting her rage control her. She works on her anger management, harder than anything she’s ever applied herself towards before. Ragh flinching every time she loses her temper again.

Lydia realizes she can’t even show her anger anymore because of how scared her son is every time she gets angry, fearing that it’ll be directed towards him again. So she starts walking on eggshells around him, and everyone else in her life so they don’t ever feel afraid of her again. She can’t handle seeing them look at her like that, like she’s a monster. Can’t they see she’s doing this to keep everyone safe from Bakur? No, no they can’t. They weren’t there

Everyone else who was there, never came home. She’s the only one who knows the true evil that she holds inside the gem, inside her own body, every day. They’ll never understand. So she steels herself again, making sure everything she does is controlled. Her actions are rigid, tight, planned. Nothing she does anymore is on a whim or impulsive, otherwise she risks her anger getting the best of her again

And it works, she’s the best mom ever (according to her son). She does everything right, and he stops being afraid of her. Every now and then she can’t help but notice an occasional involuntary flinch from him, one that he feels ashamed for even letting happen. But they talk about it, they work on communication so Ragh knows she’s not mad at him, that he never will be again, not like before at least.

One can imagine how difficult it must have been for Lydia to keep her cool when she was killed by Kalina. Not only dying, but finding out that she’s been in a clone this whole time. Has it been this whole time? Arthur never told her she was in a clone, nor did she have any memory of ever agreeing to something like this. How long had it been that she was kept hidden away?

It had been a long time since she had felt this angry, being left in the dark like this. All Lydia wanted to do was bite and hit and smash and break and ki-

No!

She can’t let her emotions control her. It doesn’t matter how mad she is, she has to stay in control. Even if Arthur does deserve a beating. So she smiles, she thanks Arthur for doing what he did, because it means she’s still alive another day to hug her son.

Then almost a year later, the Bad Kids are investigating a dead god, the same one Bakur was trying to raise all those years ago. And in their investigating, they come to her. “We think we can remove the gem from your body,” they tell her. So she agrees, trying not to let her hopes up too much. It almost goes badly, she feels for the briefest of seconds that this is a mistake, that she’s about to die, but at the last second she feels it. The gem comes out, and it stays sealed. Bakur still trapped inside.

For the first time in years, she comes out of her rage and it’s the biggest relief of her life. She cries. Lydia cries more than she ever has, because she knows she can rest. She can finally feel her emotions again without fear of losing control, without fear that Bakur will escape, without fear of hurting her son.

That night, Lydia sleeps. She can finally sleep. It’s the best night’s rest she’s ever had, and though she had forgotten what it was like, Lydia dreams again as well

[hugthesquids]

Garnet's biggest flaw

So I’ve seen many people in the fandom state that Garnet has no flaws or virtually no flaws outside her co-dependence in the form of Ruby and Sapphire. But that’s not true.

No character is perfect and Garnet is no exception as she carries with her some fundamental flaws that I find interesting exploring. In fact, her flaws are in a way very ironic to her character.

Btw she’s an excellent character and this is by no means to discredit her or anything. If anything, I think it’s good that characters have flaws and aren’t perfect as it gives depth to them, and SU is all about not putting anyone on a pedestal.

(There is a TLDR at the end)

Garnet is bad at communicating

Despite often preaching about the importance of communication in any relationship, Garnet has major trouble in this department.

Even after Garnet opens up later on in the seasons, she still struggles in this aspect.

There are many times where Garnet doesn’t explain a thing to others like Steven, and because of this lack of communication, he ends in trouble. In fact, Garnet often resorts to letting her actions speak for her.

And with Steven in particular, someone who needs guidance, it becomes a tough point for him. And it often lands him in trouble.

In a way, Garnet acts like the subversion of the old troupe of “learning your lesson the hard way”. She follows this line of reasoning, and yet she fails to consider that this isn’t a healthy way for Steven to learn. SU likes to subvert classic cartoon troupes, deconstructing them like how all the cartoony heroic adventures were actually traumatising for Steven and hindered his development in a healthy way.

So letting Steven “learn his lesson” with stuff like the proposal in SUF, it actually became the turning point in him spiralling so badly.

It hurt him so much (already dealing with a loss on what to do in life, losing trust in those nearest to him, losing his support system, lots of unresolved trauma bubbling through as Steven freshly processes how screwed up his life was and why he’s struggling so much now), and it essentially started the huge domino effect to what later happens in SUF.

(I’m not excusing Steven’s own actions, though as we’ve seen, he has things that contributed to the path that was taken. For this post, I’m focusing on Garnet’s stake in all this.)

The proposal, a point of neglect

I think the proposal especially highlights this weakness from Garnet in several ways. First a little background from Steven’s PoV.

He reached out to a guardian that he trusted and admitted he didn’t know what to do with his life, who only turned back and said he should’ve known better and he was dumb for listening to Ruby and Sapphire.

This is when we’ve just learned that Steven was scared at opening up to people because he’s afraid that it’ll push them away but Steven anyway worked up the courage to ask Garnet, who only told him she didn’t have time for him and let Ruby and Sapphire take charge.

This is also just after learning that Steven wasn’t socialised properly and doesn’t understand human conventions too (so he didn’t know it was weird to propose as 16 either. Most of his knowledge comes from cartoons and other media, where Steven himself loved reading books about adventures falling in love like The Unfamiliar Familiar, so this stuff was normal to him. Still not okay, but he was neglected socially.)

(Btw this also adds to Steven’s frustration with his dad later on, as the proposal stuff hurt so much and he didn’t know it was a bad thing to do as Steven was unfamiliar with human stuff and what to even do with his life and his dad didn’t provide that guidance and neither did the gems.)

Steven isn’t the one that brings up the proposal, that is a very important fact.

Steven opens up to Garnet, who dismisses him and lets him talk to Ruby and Sapphire, who are the ones that tell him to propose. Ruby eggs him on even as he goes “really?” and even then he doesn’t immediately do it but double checks by going to Sapphire, the one that Steven trusts to be the logical one of the pair. Ruby and Sapphire are still his guardians, and Steven has made it very clear that he struggles with knowing what to do with himself.

So imagine the betrayal that Steven feels, when his guardians, the ones he trusted and had trouble opening up to but decided anyway, just brushes his feelings off and makes it all his fault for trusting his family, essentially calling him dumb and makes it all about being a hard lesson for he himself not realising it was a foolish idea.

We as the audience know he didn’t have the tools to know, neglected socially and traumatised, and that he was in a very bad headspace.

And even the gems have seen Steven has not been in a great headspace for a while prior to this.

Robbed of agency

But because Garnet just accepts the future she “sees”, expects it to come and sees it as inevitable, she forgets to take responsibility.

She didn’t help him afterwards even if she could. She didn’t tell the other gems and left him all night and day after to be alone in his slump even though Garnet knew he was miserable and in a sensitive spot and wanted to reach out for support (like calling Greg). Instead he was left to spiral in those bad thoughts and feelings with no sympathy or aftercare.

Garnet let her role as Steven’s guardian slip.

She essentially robs both Steven’s agency with the proposal by saying it was inevitable, but also robs herself of her own agency to act. All because she believes her visions are certain and there is no reason to act otherwise.

But we know this is false, her visions aren’t certain!

Future vision

Garnet’s “visions” are merely calculations. She doesn’t see the future but calculates likely outcomes. Garnet herself has admitted that several times, but continues to contradict it as she still falls back to her habit.

Sapphire’s future vision coupled with Ruby's influence that lets her see multiple outcomes, gives Garnet the notion that she knows what will happen.

Steven's complaint that Garnet thinks that she "knows better" is an interesting one, because in a way, he’s right.

Garnet inadvertently robs other people of their agency by over-relying on her visions. In her eyes she knows they won't change, that they will always do this.

And that also inadvertently robs herself of her own agency.

It’s kind of ironic too, because if she truly could see the future in all certainty, she should’ve known that Steven would spiral badly after the proposal and needed support. But that’s the thing, Garnet doesn’t know better, she doesn’t see everything or every outcome.

The biggest irony of this is that despite Garnet being a fusion, has a whole spiel about how conversation is important in any relationship, how her own existence was due to Ruby defying what Sapphire “saw”, Garnet herself is often a hypocrite to her own ideals.

The episode "Future Pool" is proof that her vision is flawed, as it isn't really future vision, but a probability calculator based on the facts she knows (which is also why Garnet never predicted Rose being Pink Diamond or all other numerous surprising things). Even Sapphire in SUF shows it’s all a probability calculation that she’s running.

Even Garnet didn’t predict Bluebird to turn on Steven and all and try to kill him. If she even “saw” that possibility, she didn’t even warn Steven and she egged him on to give her a chance.

But ironically, Garnet didn’t really “learn her lesson” in these episodes, did she? Not the crux of it at least. Her future vision was getting more and more inaccurate in “Future Pool” as she couldn’t get a read on how Steven had grown as a person and wasn’t behaving as expected.

But instead of stepping back and assessing whether she should reconsider her relationship with the ability, as Steven tires to nudge her to think for herself instead of over-relying on visions that aren’t set in stone, Garnet goes back to the same as usual as she learns Steven had matured and factors that in to get back her more accurate future calculations.

Pink’s palanquin

Another example of Garnet robbing people of their agency and being bad at communicating is when Greg was kidnapped by Blue Diamond.

Instead of communicating to Steven that Blue Diamond was in Korea and that she would kidnap Greg if they went there, she just told him to not go.

Steven was at this point super frustrated at the gems not telling him anything and not communicating, while his rising frustration (and trauma) with the gem stuff was rising and he didn’t want to be constantly dismissed and denying knowing about this gem past that was affecting him so much now.

But again, Garnet is bad at communicating.

And when Steven goes to Korea, she robs Steven of his agency by saying this would've happened regardless.

Realistically speaking, if Garnet sat down and talked with Steven, acknowledging his feelings instead of dismissing them and how he felt about his heritage and Rose, (which has been a huge contributor in going into Korea in the first place, being denied his feelings) and Garnet actually explained Blue was there and the consequences going there, Steven would've likely not gone.

But in this twist of irony, Garnet denies her own agency with her flawed view on her vision, doesn't make an effort in communicating with Steven, it ends up fulfilling her vision.

Denying responsibility

It's very interesting that being the leader of the team, the one everyone looks up to, she sometimes struggles acknowledging fault or responsibility.

It’s not that she doesn’t ever not admit fault to something, she has admitted plenty of times. But there are times where she’s steadfast in not having any responsibility or that she had a part in too.

And this stands as an interesting contrast to her companions in the cast, Amethyst and Pearl, who are often confronted with their issues and are expected to change their mind or admit fault.

But there are many times where Garnet simply denies her doing anything wrong. And being the de facto leader, it gets accepted.

Garnet was still very responsible for the proposal thing. And even if Ruby and Sapphire were the ones telling Steven to propose, Garnet could’ve unfused, let the two of them take responsibility and apologise to Steven.

She just brushes it off as them being lovebirds so it’s okay for them to almost ruin Steven’s closest relationship and pins it as his fault for trusting them, despite them being his guardians who he opened up to with a sensitive issue. She denies Ruby and Sapphire their agency and even justifies their bad behaviour because love (but at the same time faults Steven to act on his emotions, despite being actually considerate enough to ask his guardians whether this was a good idea).

Garnet is still responsible for Ruby and Sapphire, because even if Garnet is technically her own person, Ruby and Sapphire are still a part of her and the two of them can choose to become her at any time just as Garnet can choose to become Ruby and Sapphire any time.

Fusion

And that’s another flaw Garnet has. She thinks she “knows better” about fusion, just because she’s a permafusion for thousands of years.

And while she does have a lot of sage and good advice about fusion

She still has her flaws about it. And often lets fusion become a scapegoat for her own responsibility or other people’s.

Like when Sugilite runs rampage.

They don’t even apologise to either Steven or Pearl for all the hurt Sugilite had caused (heck, she almost seemed fine with killing Pearl or at least being fine with all the destruction she caused. Steven even had his bones cracked when a huge boulder hit his face due to Sugilite).

Even if Sugilite wouldn’t be able to apologise, Garnet and Amethyst still could as it was their decision to fuse in the first place even with Pearl’s warnings that they tend to lose control. In fact, Garnet was the one to bring up fusing with Amethyst in the first place.

The only comment Garnet makes afterwards is how Sugilite overworked their bodies and that’s why they’re tired at the end of unfusing. No apology for the hurt they caused.

It’s an interesting contrast to how other fusions act.

Smoky is still apologising on Steven’s behalf with the havoc caused in “Guidance”. Steven apologises to Mega Pearl for Pearl and Pink Pearl, since the trip to the Reef didn’t turn out well. Even Stevonnie is treated as both their fusion and Steven and Connie, and Stevonnie treats themself as that too.

Meanwhile Garnet flip flops between being the result of Ruby and Sapphire’s actions to having no responsibility for Ruby and Sapphire.

Garnet even excuses Bluebird, saying Steven can’t judge her just because she’s a fusion of two of Steven’s enemies that wanna murder him. Which first of all, that was his house and he has every right to not want some strangers invited in there, let alone the fusion of his previous murderers.

Second of all, he absolutely can judge people based on their components. In fact, Garnet is yet again a hypocrite as she really likes Stevonnie, Smoky and all the other fusions because they’re the fusions of their friends. She doesn’t treat them as just their own people, the components matter too with the relationship she has to them. Garnet likes Fluorite, sure, but she isn’t family. But Smoky Quartz is family even at first sight, just because they’re a fusion of Amethyst and Steven.

Reflection

Garnet is by no means perfect, and that’s what makes her a good character. She has flaws like everyone else, just as she has strengths like everyone else.

She doesn’t mean ill with any of this. A lot of it is her being well-meaning too, and she tries a lot to be a leader for the team which is a tough spot.

In fact, being thrust in a leader position is probably why Garnet started over-relying on her future vision. She had to fill the spot Rose left for them, be the mature one as everyone processed their grief and keeping the team together, especially how prone to conflict Pearl and Amethyst were with each other earlier on before Steven stepped up to be the heart of the team.

So it just becomes this interesting if a little tragic and ironic thing that the very things Garnet preaches about and is a symbol of that others look up to, are the very things Garnet is really bad at.

TLDR

While Garnet is often seen as flawless or nearly perfect aside from her fusion with Ruby and Sapphire sometimes showing co-dependence, she does have significant flaws. Her biggest flaw is poor communication, which contradicts her emphasis on its importance in relationships. This flaw becomes especially apparent in her interactions with Steven, where her lack of guidance contributes to his struggles, such as in the proposal situation and the Korea thing.

Garnet’s over-reliance on her future vision also leads her to undermine others’ agency, assuming outcomes are inevitable rather than communicating and acting on them. This creates a paradox, as Garnet’s vision isn’t always accurate, she knows it isn't, she knows it isn't really future vision but a probability calculator and she often has blind spots and she herself is a result of that blind spot.

But Garnet still falls back to treating her visions as inevitable and misses opportunities to protect or support others, including Steven, by denying their and her own agency. Additionally, she sometimes avoids taking responsibility, particularly when it comes to the consequences of her lack of communication, and also using her future vision and fusion as an excuse in certain aspects.

Despite these flaws, it makes Garnet a more complex and compelling character, as dealing with her leadership role she was forced into after Rose's absence. Acknowledging her flaws gives depth to her character and emphasizes the show’s theme that no one is perfect.

[elvearryn]

König + Horangi Headcanons

Regrettably, the brainrot has taken hold of me properly, so this was always going to be an inevitable post

(This is also a chance for me to compile and work out my characterization of these two, as a sort of warm-up exercise for writing them).

All SFW! Trigger warning for mention of scars, alcohol, gambling, violence (military), you know Call of Duty typical stuff

All the headcanons for each are separate for each character, a few mentions of Horangi in König’s list but that’s it

That being said, here are my headcanons for König and Horangi 🙏

Horangi bites the inside of his cheek when he’s thinking really hard or having an internal emotional tug of war about something, he actually developed this habit because he used to instinctively press his tongue against the inside area of his cheek that had been scarred (if you’ve seen the popular design where he has a scar from about the corner of his lip up to his cheekbone, and yeah. I like that concept a lot)

Horangi used to drink and smoke heavily, as part of his gambling days. He dropped that habit when he joined the military, and to this day absolutely resents heavy alcohol of any kind, but doesn’t actively avoid milder alcohol as much as he does the stronger stuff, he just doesn’t see the appeal in it anymore

Speaking of which, Horangi sucks at gambling, in fact he’s so terrible at it it’s a wonder he stayed in the business so long. He actually wound up so far in debt because he kept telling himself “it’s not statistically possible that I can never win.” So he kept trying to prove he was capable of winning (he wasn’t.) Eventually, he did quit, escaping debt by fleeing normal civilian life in the process

Horangi hasn’t touched gambling since, he’s wary of even simple card games (glances judgmentally at uno). Even if he still gets that itch sometimes, he curbs it by playing games that don’t involve luck at all

By that I mean Horangi loves strategy games. A downright freak about them even, this way he’s not risking any money on card games that might be rigged… (Horangi chess menace, anyone..? Not promising that he won’t try to cheat in checkers) and he swears like a sailor whenever he loses

Any rush Horangi used to get from gambling is gone anyway, nothing can compare to the adrenaline spike from being on missions. In comparison, gambling feels like a watered down high and a desaturated painting, it wasn’t anything like the vivid colors of the battle field experience… and even that could get boring sometimes…

(That is not encouragement to throw yourself into combat 💧)

Horangi loves silver jewelry, especially rings. But never wears anything gold or with gems on it, he prefers the sheen of silver, and thicker jewelry too, heavy banded rings and he actually considers his dog tags as something of a fashion statement… there was a point in his life where he had his ears pierced, and only ever wore silver or black for those, however the piercings have since closed up as they would have been a hindrance in his military work

When Horangi was a kid, he wanted to be able to skateboard, the kind of kid who thought kick flips and riding rails down the stairs was the coolest thing, unfortunately he was never really all that good on wheels, and didn’t have the time to master the hobby

(He sure as hell can snowboard though. Don’t ask me; it came to me in a vision)

Horangi was actually planning to get full tattoo sleeves on his arms, but discovered that he was somewhat unnerved by the constant jabbing of the ink needle when he got his wrists and forearms done the first time around, since then he’s been a little wary about getting more. It’s not that his pain tolerance is low, or that he’s scared of the process, he’s just kind of annoyed by the way it’s done and the time it takes since it leaves him with nothing to really do while he waits with the incessant jabbing of the needle… yeah, he’s not a fan

Horangi has scars on his back (tiger scars!!!) from his youth, they’re not pretty or nice to look at, all ridged flesh and awkward lines, he couldn’t sleep on his back for weeks while they healed; and even after that there was phantom pain.

Because of these scars, Horangi dislikes having his back to anyone even more than the usual soldier. Not because he got the scars in that way, but simply because he’s subconsciously aware of them being there and he doesn’t like the idea of having them out in the open (even though he knows they can’t be seen when he’s dressed)

Horangi likes to doodle, no he’s not a good artist, he just likes to scribble on things, drawing in the dirt with a stick when he was a kid kind of thing, always carries a pen with him and doodles when he’s bored

Horangi is a great swimmer, like athlete level good at it. Do not try to race him, he will win

Is an avid language enjoyer, Horangi actually likes exploring different languages and how they work phonetically as well as alphabetically. His English is remarkably good, even with his thick accent

On that note, Horangi’s penmanship is… less than perfect. Maybe a small case of doctor’s handwriting if you know what I mean. He tends to slant his words a bit, and it looks a little like chicken scratch, but it’s charming in its own right

Horangi likes rock and rap, I think when he was a teen he would have really liked No Brain, especially the song “내 가죽잠바 My Leather Jacket” as well as western heavy metal, though he likes rap and hip hop too, anything fast paced or with a heavy beat (guilty pleasure listening might be lighter r&b) if you saw Gangnam style in his playlist, no you didn’t

If Horangi played an instrument it would be electric guitar, but only as an excuse to shred until the callouses on his fingers split and he had to wait for new ones to develop

Horangi is selfless to a fault, he likes to think he wouldn’t go through hell and back for just about anyone when he knows deep down he would in a heartbeat, he’s always cared deeply about others, he just struggles a little to express it, very much more of a subdued affection kind of guy, shown through little actions instead of straightforward declarations which are a rarity, but do happen

Horangi likes the military because it gave him purpose and direction. And best of all- an outlet. What else was he supposed to do with his somewhat short fuse and need to release pent up energy? Bashing up enemy forces seemed a good enough way as any

Horangi takes his coffee black, americano. (Shamelessly stole this headcanon from his voice actor…)

Bonus :

(His words not mine, do with this information what you will)

Now… König is somewhat of a difficulty for me to work through, he’s a bit of a silly bastard I can say that much. Still working on disemboweling him to understand how he works so his list might be a bit shorter, but I’ll try my damndest

König is clumsy, not in a ���whoops I fell down the stairs silly me…” way but in a “where the hell did I leave my keys..?” kind of way, which is funny because he always struck me as someone who pays attention to detail while also having situational blindness, like “holy shit there was a car right there” even when you could ask him what the arrangement of crates were in a cargo shipment and he could tell you exactly without needing to think hard about it

König is absolutely incapable of keeping himself still, one of the reasons he was denied the position of a sniper… whether it be literally twiddling his thumbs, or bouncing his leg, he is always moving one part of his body at any given time

Two words, bad liar… König is a terrible liar even, not even consciously he just isn’t good at not giving an honest answer, especially if it’s to people he’s comfortable being around. Shifting eyes, clenched jaw, kicked puppy sort of demeanor if he’s actively trying to withhold the truth, he’s bad at covering it up unless he’s annoyed, then he can evade giving a straight answer but otherwise he can be read like an open book

In terms of social interaction, König is not some sort of inept stuttering dork, rather I would simply describe him as a little out of his element in mundane social settings. He’s a menace on the field, and he’s comfortable with that, when he isn’t occupied with something physically or mentally demanding however… he’s a tad socially awkward. But he’s still brazen and a little cocky, albeit easily annoyed or flustered (not blushing wreck flustered, just at a loss for words and maybe a few confused blinks if anything)

König is also competitive and a bit of a grump honestly, he takes things personally and tends to overthink, maybe a bit of a bad habit that involves twisting things in his mind until they’re warped from what they initially were, but yeah he’s gonna take things as a challenge or a jab at his abilities (inferiority complex coming back with a vengeance in the form of feeling like he needs to prove himself constantly)

That’s not to say König isn’t a “gentle giant” he does have a soft spot and isn’t prone to picking fights himself, but he’s also… bipolar for lack of a better word, he would definitely treat something with the most tenderness his large hands can allow, but then turn around and obliterate an entire unit with a blind sort of unhinged arrogance that doesn’t take kindly to being rivaled

König is like a barely domesticated guard dog with self worth issues that present themselves through mild narcissism and social insecurity. Again, he’s a madman, just listen to his voicelines, Horangi may look insane on the outside but he’s actually relatively stable, König on the other hand is like a carefully constructed bridge made of entirely weak points that are holding themselves together by faint pressure and the whole thing is covered in tape that mask wounds instead of bandaids

If König played an instrument it would be drums, he needs to be able to bash on things, I think he would get frustrated with something like guitar or bass

König is a bit demanding with things he wants, and likes to think he can get what he wants with relatively little struggle, not that he’s a spoiled brat by any means, just that he sees something and goes “I want that.” And isn’t afraid to say that he wants it, and that’s basically saying “I intend to get it” but he also does have manners, and isn’t exactly extroverted, but he has an obvious sort of intensity about him that really shines on the field, he likes a good fight

(Que “Finally some worthy adversaries!” line)

König knows he’s strong and is confident in his abilities, but despite knowing this he still doesn’t take praise well. Or compliments, he’s all sure of his abilities until someone points out he did a good job and suddenly he has no idea what to say, similarly if he thinks he can handle something and voices that, and someone replies “yeah you’re right, you’ve got this” he’d be like “???” because he’s not used to the positive reciprocation, he’s used to only having himself and the physical proof that he can do things and do them well, so when someone points it out he’s at a loss

König is more likely to let German slip into his speaking than Horangi is to let Korean slip into his, König’s English also isn’t as good as Horangi’s

König is a little possessive and can get defensive too. Stems from his childhood, being picked on a bit he learned to keep his stuff close to him and be careful who he shares with if at all, and is not trusting even if on the outside he appears relatively open despite his social awkwardness

However, König likes having instructions and knowing what exactly needs to be done, he’s organized and likes not always having to make a lot of complex decisions— the structure of the military gives him a way to keep himself occupied in this manner. And he likes feeling like he has a use, even if it’s not exactly what he wanted

(He’s still bitter about not being a sniper).

König’s handwriting is surprisingly nice, it’s neat and simple, but he doesn’t write paper and pencil often, in fact he usually records numbers and data if anything, and types everything else. He likes using digital tablets

König takes his coffee sweet, and doesn’t care about the temperature, he’ll drink coffee that started out warm and sat out long enough to get cold.

Rammstein fan? König is guilty. Also loves Slipknot and Korn. Orange Sector fan to the end too. His guilty pleasure is instrumental music. (Sometimes he and Horangi share their music with one another)

König wears his hair long (not super long, just a little unkempt and about jaw length), and he has stubble. He keeps his hair tied in a low bun for missions, on leave and for downtime he’ll tie the bun higher

König is shockingly loyal, like makes a conscious effort to be loyal to people, and is surprisingly thoughtful about little things that others wouldn’t really pay much mind too. It’s sort of a subconscious thing actually, he remembers a lot of insignificant stuff for no real reason, it just sticks

In König’s mind, he has a few jokes he came up with that he thinks are hilarious but has never had a chance to say them and is also a little doubtful other people would be as amused as him, so he keeps them to himself.

(Horangi might luck out one day)

Cough… and that’s all!! I’ll update this if I ever think of any more. But yeah, that’s all I got. Hope you enjoyed

[apollo-likes-writing]

LAPIS LAZULI (PROLOGUE)

Character(s): Kakavasha/Aventurine, Veritas Ratio/Lapis Lazuli

Tags: Angst, long fic, role swap!au

Word Count: 933 words

Summary: A role swap!AU where Ratio takes his rejection by Nous a lot harder than he did in canon and loses himself as a result, becoming one of the Ten Stonehearts, while Aventurine is not recruited by the IPC and is instead a scholar in the Intelligentsia Guild.

Author’s Note: This was inspired by the amazing @havanillas with their role swap! AU! Check it out! Their mind is brilliant (and I am obsessed with the way they have drawn their differences). Also, I’m a nerd about crystals, not about space, so forgive me if there are any inaccuracies. I was also vaguely tipsy when I was writing the ending, so please excuse that. This will be multiple chapters, so let me know if you’d like to be on the tag list.

Main Masterlist | Fic Masterlist

A science lesson in the metaphysical properties of crystals and gems, if you’ll allow me.

I know, I know. You did not click this fanfiction for a science lesson. It’ll be quick, I promise. It would be perfectly understandable for you to click off this, or even send a hate comment stating “I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS!!1!1!!”

Still here? Great. I’ll continue.

Everything has a vibrational frequency: from the rocks in the ground to the leaves in the trees. You have a vibration. Your best friend has a vibration. Your pet gecko has a vibration. Hell, even the device you’re reading this on and the bed your sitting in has a vibration. You get the picture, yes? These frequencies are like a marker that interact with other markers to create different influences.

Things like crystals and rock - objects that have existed for thousands of years - are bound to have stronger frequencies (let me know if I lose you. There is a point to this, I promise) that interact with you differently. Amethyst, for example, helps with sleep and meditation; Rose Quartz is great for self love; Carnelian and Tiger’s Eye can give you a confidence boost, and Aventurine is good at manifesting luck.

So, what is Lapis Lazuli good for? What magical powers does Lapis Lazuli have? What funky frequencies does it fuck around with?

Intellect.

Intellect, wisdom, and the ability to communicate, to be specific. It was used by the Egyptians a few thousand years ago as makeup and medicine, and is the stone of many gods of wisdom in various mythos’. Interesting, right? Veritas Ratio was a man of intellect. A man of prestige and great wisdom who wished to communicate his genius to those more mundane in hopes of curing ignorance. An honourable cause, if any.

See how far he has fallen.

Lapis Lazuli is no longer a man of intellect. He drinks and gambles and throws his life away all for the purpose of forgetting. Forgetting THEIR rejection. Forgetting his own ignorances.

Forgetting his own genius.

The IPC ate him up. They picked him up by the scruff of his collar and swallowed him whole. They boiled him in their stomach acid and digested him into something functional. Something utilisable. Something mouldable.

He let them.

I told you this science lesson had a point to it.

The fall of a star is always so explosive, so why did he burn out so quietly? Perhaps the rejection from a star as mighty as Nous made the rejection of himself quite infinitesimal in comparison. When a red giant explodes into a supernova, it is much more noticeable than a white dwarf imploding in on itself to create a black hole.

That doesn’t mean that a black hole doesn’t have a presence. It is a presence of darkness, yes - practically invisible if it weren’t for the event horizon that drew the eye of the nosey - but a presence nonetheless. No matter how difficult it is to see, it is still ever-present, sucking in the warmth of stars and the things it kept dear until there is nothing left. It is a shell of what it once was. Just as Lapis Lazuli is a shell of what Veritas once was. Veritas Ratio has been sucked up by the black hole, warped and spaghettified until there is practically nothing left, leaving behind only the blinding horizon disk that is Lapis Lazuli. Anyone who dares to find him - the real him - only risks being sucked up and warped themselves.

It is not wise to try and find Veritas Ratio.

Veritas Ratio: the legend of the Intelligentsia Guild. A young prodigy with three pHds under his belt at the ripe old age of sixteen, only to achieve five more before twenty-five. He is the example set for all scholar’s who wish to make names for themselves. His name is whispered in hushed voices by students for support before their exams as if he were an Aeon they worship. In the eyes of the average mundanite, he basically was.

The duality of the esteemed Doctor Ratio is a fascinating one and the topic for debate for many of his former colleagues. These debates have never been made private (for who would care? He isn’t around to hear them anymore), so even the esteemed Doctor Kakavasha has heard of his story.

The scholars of the Intelligentsia Guild have always been creatures of gossip, spreading rumours and half-truths wherever they go in order to foster attention. Kakavasha knows of these tricks and refuses to fall for them. To judge a book by its cover is as criminal to a scholar as blasphemy is to a priest. Honestly, these Guild members have such massive sticks up their backside that Kakavasha is surprised they’re not coughing up leaves. He, like many of his calibre, has looked up to the legend that is Veritas Ratio ever since he started his first degree at university. The man is only a few years his senior, but his reported work ethic and candid attitude has followed the Avgin throughout his own education and beyond. It’s safe to say that he idolises the man despite his unknowable reasons for his disappearance and recruitment into the IPC. Time changes everything. Perhaps time changed Veritas Ratio’s outlook in life and he found better prospects in an institution as massive as the IPC.

Despite this, Kakavasha wishes to find him, to hold an educated conversation with him, in hopes of receiving his perspective on his independent research project:

How to get rid of his divine luck.

—

Hope you enjoyed! Super proud of this. Reblogs appreciated!

Next Chapter

[starcrossedandstupid]

My long page of links is definitely not appealing to people who may want to see why I love Mars Joel, and I realized I condensed it it pretty well for a moot of mine, so here’s the reasons why Mars celestial symbolism Joel is very cool and you should be unwell about it with me!

OKAY SO. Mars Joel. You may be thinking ‘but star? Martyn is Mars’! But. Meteor Martyn. Originally there was a lot of discussion between if Martyn should be Mars or a Meteor, so it’s already kinda known but fandom.

I’m gonna start with meteor Martyn just to show that yes it is a good idea and therefore Mars Joel is viable

Martyn had it all, in third life. He still did, in Last Life, even if it wasn’t the same. He had those connections, a place and people to call home. In third life he was a part of a planet. In Last Life something was starting to brew, but he was still apart of it all. Then Double Life hit, and his home world, the land he was a part of, exploded. He shot out into space, blazing trail behind him, scorching it all. It had no one anymore. He was lost, destroying any relationships in his way, and losing little pieces of himself. And in Limited Life, he crashed. He betrayed Scott, he always knew he was going to, and it that betrayal, that win, he destroyed himself too. Crashing into something breaks both what it hit, and the meteor, does it not?

TLDR: He was something, once. A part of something wonderful. But that’s gone now. And he is on fire, blazing through it all. He is leaving a path of flames where ever he goes. One day, he will crash. It will be beautiful. A beautiful, beautiful self led destruction.

OKAY NOW ON TO MARS JOEL

1. The simplest of the reasons. Mars is red. The color, the life, Joel is known for in the traffic seires. That he has always been known for. His rabid pack of red wolves in third life. His constant status as red in last life. He and Etho becoming red in double life, their killing of pearl, etc. Red is Joel in the life series through and through.

2. Mars is just the Roman reskin of Ares, the Greek god of war. Be his associated with violence, combat, red, blood, fire. All the things Joel is associated with. Joel is filled with blood list and anger and the need to fight. But Ares is not the only Greek god of war. Athena is the god of warfare/war strategy. Gem fits perfectly in that role. The collected strategy to Joel’s controlled chaos, combined together to be a force of war that cannot be stopped. They are feared and revered, they are victorious. And from a celestial body winners symbolism perspective, while Mars is well, the planet Mars, Athena’s Roman goddess counterpart, Minerva, does not have a specific celestial body of any kind as a symbol. Joel is a winner now, and therefore has one, while Gem hasn’t won yet, and therefore doesn’t.

3. Joel had no one. Sure he had loose allies, but he and nothing growing or living with him. He was alone, some big piece of rock orbiting, with nothing but himself. Then Double Life happened, and people discovered, he discovered, that he can support life. He can have allies and be around them and they can live on his surface and create and love. And it culminated in his winning season, when he was family to someone, when he was the place, whether they liked him or not people went to. And in the end, he won alone, but ghosts and memories of those he loved cheered for him. I mean, Mars may not have life now, but it’s the only place we know of that could, if we tried, right?

TLDR Point 3: Mars is the only planet we know of that could support life. We don’t know if it ever has, but it has the capacity to. It can. And one day, it will. Joel did not have allies, but he wanted to, he tried so hard to. And he has them now.

Silly extra reason!: What is a planet, if not one big car traveling on its well trodden road?

As you might have been able to tell, I love the parallels this bad boy can have when he has Mars as his celestial symbolism!! There’s some Scar parallels I didn’t mention, and more I haven’t fully formed yet, but yeah!!

I love this idea so so much, and I hope you like the vibes as well :]

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn lyrics analysis - Grateful and The Time

As promised some lyric analysis from Room Under the Stairs. Still can't stop listening to these songs or album.

Some points to make clear first for context. The narrative set up for this album was a big fake mess and in reality did not align to the lyrics and what Zayn tells us in his music or interviews if you pay attention. The narrative set was he'd been writing the album for 6 years, it was about his relationship of that period and it was also about his daughter.

First the timeline makes no sense, we are meant to believe that this album covers the period of 2017 to 2023??!! Please Zayn released 3 full albums in that time period. Most artists write in their current context they rarely hold on to songs for 6 years. If they are good they want them on that current album. Also the songs on this album all reflect significant personal growth, emotional intelligence, maturity, possibly some therapy, reframing of his life including on his past in 1D. Its clear those are more recent changes that usually come with age or significant life changes or overcoming challenges. So the narrative on the timeframe was all bullshit. Its likely he wrote this album in 2022 to 2023. A period where he was publically single. The narrative was used to cover the many love/long term partner related songs on the album. Hello, Stardust. 

Secondly Zayn made it clear in a few interviews that he is really fast at putting his music together. He literally said he can put an entire song down start to finish in 2 to 3 hours. Don't think he needed 6 years to put this album together. 

The other gem Zayn gave us in interviews was the in hindsight, I don't think I've ever been in love before. Thank you Zayn, if people pay attention he made it pretty clear he isn't writing any love songs about his former public relationships. Yet the album has multiple love related songs. Again, hence the bullshit narrative.

Thirdly, the narrative the album was about his daughter. I mean she was 2 to 3 when this album was written. He makes it clear even where there is a stunt line or two that he is talking to an adult, telling them deep things, doing things they shouldn't do, lying for them etc. Nothing speaks about a toddler here at all. Not once. I have a child only a few years older, there's no sign of a child in these lyrics. 

With that in mind I wanted to analyse two of my favourite songs, as a start. Really powerful songs and vocals. Songs that are deeply personal to me, I understand and relate to the themes of gratitude and time deeply. I believe Zayn relates to them from similar life experiences. Songs I fully believe would have been originally part of the tour. Songs in the context of losing Liam, would be impossible to sing live. Hence the tour including a whole bunch of B sides from the album. 

Grateful

I see your mother’s shine in your eye

I know that you’re mine and I'm cryin'

Tellin' you the things that are on my mind

When I think of you

This is a classic stunt line used to set up the idea the song is about his daughter who he is grateful for. If you pay attention to the third line he is telling things to this person that are on his mind. He is not telling a then 2 or 3 year old all the things on his mind. He is talking about another adult here, his love, his person. He's also not talking about Gigi here, they were broken up when the album was really written, plus he never loved her, remember. The rest of the song is also talking about the ups and downs in life and his relationship. A relationship he's still clearly in, there's no past tense. With that in mind let's revisit the first two lines and how intimate and beautiful they really are. He is telling his person, his love, that their eyes share the same shine as their mother. Ugh my heart. Zayn is the softest, most romantic. That he knows this person is his person in life and knowing he's met his person makes him cry. Cry from happiness and gratitude. And if you believe his person, his love is Liam then this song already just stunning that this is how his love feels to him. Now it's just even more beautiful and gut wrenching and no wonder he couldn't sing it live on tour, even though it's such a sing a long style song and I fully believe he would have intended to sing it on tour. 

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

Love it when the rain comes down

Love it when the waves calm down

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

He is just so content and happy to have found his person in life. The rains can come down on them individually or as a couple, they know they can get through and things always calm down eventually. He is just grateful. Again gut wrenching now. I can barely contemplate how these songs have changed for Zayn. 

These days I live to my depiction

Nowadays I'm findin' no affliction

These days I'm needin' no restriction

Feel like I'm finding new addiction

He is as a person feeling like he can be more of his true self in private and public, perhaps found ways to find peace in his/their closeting and situation. He has less restrictions now without the constant long term beading/pr relationships. He is able to stay publically single with the cover of a child. There is a whole different post somewhere in the future on this. I believe Louis and Zayn were able to make the same negotiation to be single in exchange for father of the year roles. But perhaps their partners had to more heavily stunt in relationships too. We will never know but there is some mirroring between the two couples situations the last 3 years or so especially Zouis. 

And it feels good

And I knew it would

When I'm tellin' this story it's complicated

Some mishaps I've been mournin' but I'm grateful for it

It feels good to write music without it having to be perceived about his public relationships. He can't share all the stories still though, they are too complicated. There are mistakes he regrets but he can still feel gratefulness amongst it all.

Things change and I'm okay with what I'm not

It feels wasteful to be hateful

I'll be grateful for what I got

There has been so much pain in his life. He could choose to be angry and hateful but that feels wasteful. He chooses to reframe and focus on what he has, who he is and be grateful. There is huge maturity and emotional intelligence going on here. 

These days I'm needin' no restriction (For you)

Just as always Zayn finds a subtle sweet way to bring his person, his love into the narrative of the lyrics. These days I'm needing no restrictions for you. For you! Perhaps this refers to no longer needing the restriction of a bearing/pr relationships to cover his for you. He sounds like he feels more free. He's focussed on gratitude. 

The Time

Yesterday just came and went

And if today I wake up late, I won't forgive myself

’Cause time's running its own game

And I've rolled the dice too many times in my head

Huge changes as mentioned in perspective and growth as a person. He is reframing life, he values time, he doesn't want to waste time anymore. He's wasted time in the past being angry, being focussed on pain or other challenges. Its not for him now. Something significant happened that challenged his perspective too.

Never fell for the fame thing

They fell in love with the same things

Let me know when the rain ends

See all I need is you

Ain’t it special? Ain't it precious?

The time that we have

When I'm laid in your bed and you tell me you lovе me

Bringing his person, his love into the story with him, as he ALWAYS has across 4 albums. He and his person never fell for the fame thing. His person is in the industry too. That's pretty clear here, right. He and his person fell in love with the same things. Again seems clear, they both fell in love with music. Music is the thing they love and what they wanted to do in life. Fame came with it but they didn't really want to play that game. I'll fight anyone who can't see this isn't about Liam. Who else, honestly? All he needs is his person, his love. Its the best thing they both got from the fame and music. They got each other, as teenage boys and god damn that really is SO special and precious. So rare and unique. The time they have is everything, it means more than the fame and music and all the bullshit they have had to go through to be together. Time is all that matters, it is everything. When they lay in bed together, when they say I love you, he's making it clear it's an intimate setting, yet so normal and usual for them. Those are the moments that matter most not fame or music.

Colours back in all my days

Build the structure, lеt it break

As long as it's good for your brain

Lessons learned is what I've gained

Feedin' families, forget the fame

I'm doing it now for a second name

His person, his love brings all the colour into his life. I mean beautiful, they bring him joy and happiness. There's also queerness here, a number of closeted artists talk in lyrics about it being grey and searching for colour or the rainbow. He has his rainbow. They've built a life together, structures, a home, routine. Simple life, relationship things. Whatever is good for them, doesn't matter what it is. Its away from the fame. Feeding families, they are a family and they support their own families, these are benefits from the fame, they focus on. Doing it for a second name. Obviously a stunt line, you have to expect them but in context of the song and the rest of it using they to reflect his partner, it can be more true that he's referring to his partners second name.

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

When you're doing things you shouldn’t be

And I lie for you

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

And I'd die for you if you asked me to

This bridge, I was crying before Liam passed just the absolute love and devotion that you would die if the person asked you too. And no this line is not about his daughter, his daughter at 2 or 3 is not doing things they shouldn't and him lying for her. There is some insight here for me that perhaps this refers to Liam's addiction issues. That Zayn is fighting for, fighting with his partner, time is everything. They've been close to the edge of life and loss. That's the feeling here for me. And I feel that because I've been going through cancer the last few years, on the edge of my own mortality. Facing that fear. How time is the greatest value in life. How time with my daughter means more than anything. How every second of time spent in the most simplest and intimate ways with her is so fucking precious and special. And when I think of Zayn writing this song and still having Liam after whatever happened on that edge of life. To truly understand the value of time in life, it's a different way of understanding, of knowing when you've truly faced it on the edge of life. That's what I feel in the song, in many parts of the entire album. It resonates so deeply for me. To then lose him afterall. It is devastating. It makes me deeply worried if Zayn can find his way in life without Liam. I hope he can, I hope he can focus in on the same things he focuses on in this album. I hope he can find it in him to write for Liam. I hope the tour gives him something forward focussed. 

[mixmangosmangoverse]

I am curious about your takes on Sayaka Miki 👀

Hello yes you have activated me. Sayaka is like my favorite character even if I don't talk about her much and I am tired of the fandom takes around her because they so blatantly ignore SO MUCH

The big thing for me is that her arc is a clear tragedy, and it's not only tragic but it's very obviously allegorical to a mental breakdown. From early on we see Sayaka doubting if she even "deserves" the wish, we see her trying desperately to live up to Mami's legacy, but she can't, because she barely knew the real Mami and can't comprehend that Mami was also flawed. Sayaka wants to be a hero, a selfless flawless hero, but she's human. She heals Kyosuke's hand, and she says it's to help him, but there is part of her that wants him to be thankful

And that's where I think a lot of people get her arc wrong. People, even those who like her and see the arc as meaningful tend to reduce it to Sayaka being upset she "lost" Kyosuke. That he didn't love her back. But it ignores further context

The thing that really broke her wasn't losing Kyosuke. That was the final nail in the coffin. It was discovering the truth about the soul gems. Discovering she's a husk and essentially a zombie. That's the reason she skipped school, that's the reason she started shutting off her pain. She realized she isn't even human anymore, and she wants to focus only on being a paragon.

I see the moments of Sayaka refusing to accept grief seeds as essentially a person refusing help that could save them. She knows it would help her, she knows it's good for her, but she's too far gone to want it. She doesn't see herself as worthy of it, she doesn't want help because she doesn't want to acknowledge she is still in pain.

The other big moment people ignore are her snapping at Madoka. Her snapping at Madoka, yelling and being angry at her, is a sign she's spiraling and refusing to accept help. She later cries about it, for hurting Madoka, and we see just how much her mental wellbeing has gone down.

With the train scene implying she killed the men she overheard, it's clear Sayaka just isn't well. The entire arc was her spiraling until she can't contain her emotions anymore and she dies from it. It's very easy to read Sayaka's arc as her suicide; she started hurting herself, refused help, and then eventually died because of it. Her arc means a lot to me as someone who struggles with a lot of the same feelings and so seeing people reduce her arc to "she's upset she didn't get the boy" is not only reductive but it refuses to engage with the meaning of her story

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

I Thought I Lost You- Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve had thought he lost you in the 40s but maybe he didn’t

Work count: 1,821

Steve was from a different time, and a different era than the one he was in now, and things were a lot different. Sure there were the big obvious differences with technology and fashion, but it was also the little differences.

One difference that seemed to baffle Steve, was the difference in dating and relationships. There was no holding doors open, writing love letters, coming to the door to pick up a girl, there didn’t even seem to be any flirting anymore. From the stories Kate, Wanda, Nat and Maria had told him, the standards of romance and making a woman feel special was pretty much nonexistent.

Steve was always the butt of the joke among his fellow team mates about those types of things. Being a virgin, or not getting the ladies back in the day, but it didn’t bother him really, and he laughed along with them. He didn’t mind these jokes because he knew the truth, and he held it close.

Keeping his life as private as possible had always been important to Steve, but unfortunately when he came out of the ice, it seemed his whole life was on display, well, except you. He felt relieved when he learnt that no one knew about you.

He tried to search for you but finding nothing, he assumed you were dead. As dark as it sounds, that brought Steve some happiness.

Your likely death and anonymity meant that Steve could keep you in his heart, and that you were his to treasure forever. Unfortunately he had no photos of you, you existed purely in his heart, mind, and if he was lucky, his dreams. He knew he’d lost you, and he was learning to live with that.

Steve thought about you often, especially times like this. Sitting on the bus, looking out the window at the people and the places, how his home had changed so much.

The faces seemed to blend a bit when the bus was moving, but when it came to a stop, he could see things clearly. That’s when a familiar face seemed to pop out in the crowd.

This wasn’t the first time Steve had fancied he might have seen you in a crowd, but this time when his head whipped back and he caught a glimpse of your smile, he was sure it was you.

“Stop! Stop the bus!” Steve yelled, bolting out of his seat, running to the driver before the light could turn green again.

“Buddy, I’ve got a route to keep here.” The driver explained.

“I know, sir, but please I need to get off the bus, please.” Even in his panic, Steve still managed to be polite.

“Okay, sure thing.” The driver rolled his eyes, probably not wanting to deal with the hysterics.

Leaping off of the bus, Steve ran in the direction he saw you, apologising as he bumped into people. Running past stores, cafes and restaurants, looking into each one to see if you might be there.

He began to lose hope of finding you, until he caught a glimpse of shining blue. Whipping his head, he saw it, the hair comb he’d once given you as an anniversary present. Steve worked every odd job he could to get it for you, even Bucky helped him out with the last bit of money so he could finally afford it.

You’d walk past that second hand store together all the time, stopping each time to look at the comb. Delicately placed blue gems, that you always told him looked like a bouquet of blue stars. He knew it was you, and he knew if was your comb.

Everything in him wanted to run in there and sweep you off your feet, but he was paralysed, fighting with himself. I mean it couldn’t be you, but it was you, maybe a granddaughter, but the way you smiled and that little scar on your cheek.

As he saw you about to turn to face him, he bolted. Steve needed a second opinion.

*****

If there was anyone who could help him, it would be Bucky. Though you were Steve’s girl, the three of you were inseparable together, you were like Buckys little sister.

Running through the compound to find his friend earned him some strange looks, but he didn’t care, he needed Buckys help.

“Bucky?! Are you in there?!” Steve knocked loudly and shouted for his friend.

“Hold your horses, punk! I’m coming, I’m coming.” He heard Bucky yell from his ensuite.

Opening the door, Bucky was met by a worried-faced Steve. He and Steve had known each other a long time, and he’d never seen him look like this before.

“Steve, what is it?” His friend asked him, great concern lacing his voice.

“Y/N, it’s y/n… I-I’m pretty sure I found her.” Steve worryingly confesses.

Hearing her name after so much time, Buckys eyes light up with hope, while his mouth drops open in surprise, simply staring at his friend. It sounded crazy, but Bucky knew Steve well enough to know that he was being honest about this.

“Lets go then.” Bucky confidently decided as he grabbed his jacket and made Steve show him the way.

*****

“There she is.” Steve announced to his friend as they stood outside the cafe.

Bucky couldn’t believe his eyes, it really was you. Much like Steve, Bucky had also tried to track you down and similarly believed you to be dead, but there you stand, perfectly alive and young.

“It really is her.” Bucky said, both shock and wonder laced in his voice as he turned to his friend.

“Come on, we need to see her.” Bucky decides, grabbing Steve by the bicep as he pushes Steve through the cafe doors.

“No, Buck, no.” Steve protests like a child, but Bucky wouldn’t have it, as he dragged the blonde to the front counter where you were wiping the bench.

Looking up to see them standing there, it took all of your will power not to break down, as you put on your best customer service voice.

“Hey there. Would you guys like a table or take away?” You asked, trying your best to keep your voice level.

Your reaction to seeing them visibly hurt both of the men, they knew it was you, it had to be. Why were you lying to them?

“Y/N, doll, it’s me, it’s us, Steve and Bucky. I know we look a little different but it’s us.” Steve told you, hoping you just didn’t recognise them, but you did.

Of course you recognised them, how could you not? When Steve went under at the end of the war, you thought your love was gone and that you would never have to hide your immortality from him, it both crushed and relieved you. But when he came out of the ice, you cried and cried; your love was back but you knew you couldn’t have him, he couldn’t know the curse that had been given to you while he was away. To see them both now filled you with that same delight and fear as it did when you first heard Steve had resurfaced.

“That’s not my name, I think you’ve got the wrong girl there, I’m sorry.” You tried to politely brush him off, pointing to your name tag of your new alias.

Hearing this broke the boys even more, and their dejected faces broke you some more too.

“No! No, you’re y/n! It’s her Buck, it’s her.” Steve began to panic, turning to his friend with tears.

“I know, come on let’s go.” He told his friend, trying to calm him as he walked out with Steve before they could make anymore of a scene.

As Bucky walked his hysterical friend out, he caught your eye and saw the sadness and shame in your face. You looked at each other and it felt like your secret was revealed.

It crushed you to see Steve like that, but you had to.

******

It took Bucky an hour to calm Steve down once they got back to the tower, he was pacing and ranting and crying. Steve was so confused and so hurt, he knew it was you and he knew that you recognised him. Steve needed you back more than ever.

“You need to go talk to her, one on one. She knows you, but she’s scared, Steve. Go back tonight when they close and woo her with your awkward asthmatic charm, that some how got her in the first place.” Bucky encouraged his friend.

“Heh, thanks Buck. I’ll let you know how it all goes.” He thanked his friend as he wiped the tears from his face.

“Hey, Steve?”

Steve turned as he reached the door, turning to his friend.

“Get our y/n back?” He asked, his voice lightly breaking as tears seemed to pool in his eyes.

A hopeful smile broke out onto Steve’s face as he turned to open the door, leaving to get you back.

*****

Walking into the alleyway behind the cafe, you push open one of the large dumpers to put the bags of rubbish into it. The sooner you could leave the better, you needed to work out a plan to start over. Steve couldn’t know about you, and you needed to go on the run again.

“Y/N?” You heard that all too familiar gentle voice, that sweet voice. That same soothing tone that helped you when you got your first period, or before you started your first shift at the diner in town.

You weren’t sure if you were strong enough to keep up this act anymore, but you had to.

“Oh it’s you again. Look I’m sorry you think I’m this ‘y/n’, but I’m not and I need you leave.” You try to sound convincing, but your voice cracks and your vulnerability begins to show.

“Please, doll, I know it’s you. Whatever’s going on, we can work it out together.” He reassures you, now standing before you, with his hands gently cupping your cheeks.

Staring up into his big beautiful eyes, you can’t stand it anymore, and the dam breaks. Tears roll down your face as you try to hold back sobs, your own hands reaching up to touch his own face.

“You look so different, but you’re still my sweet Stevie. I guess now when you get into fights for me, you might actually win.” You joke with your love, your vision blurring from both tears and shared laughter.

Hearing your joke and realising you do know him, Steve’s face lights up and a bright laugh rumbles his large body. His joy spreads all over him as can’t help but lift you and twirl you around.

“I knew it was you.”

“It’s me, Stevie, it’s me.” You gently comfort him, as you lean down to gently press your lips to his in a soft and sweet kiss.

[geothewriter]

Vermillion Seas Cardinal Skies: Chapter 24 - The South

The opportunity to finally release years of pent-up fury arrives for Katara. Will she still be herself on the other side?

--

Happy New Year y'all! I've been busy busy busy, so unfortunately, the idea of finishing posting the entire fic by Christmas is long gone, but we'll be reaching the endgame soon enough! Boy, it's 2025 now. I would have never guessed that I'd still be writing this fic, but you know how it goes!

This chapter is definitely long in coming. It's another of those that I've had in the back of my mind for how I wanted it to go for months, so it's great to finally get to share it!

As always, MASSIVE shoutout to Achillmango for her awesome editing <3 She's the bomb, and I couldn't have done this without her.

Now then, please enjoy Chapter 24 - The South!

The gentle rumbling of the airship engines almost lulls her into a sense of ease. Almost. The world around her and back home is so filled with problems– problems that she cannot avoid– problems that force her to refuse any sort of satisfying rest. After all, how could she relax? They’re en route to the Fire Nation. Her fate awaits her. She failed. Her men saw her failure and no matter the fear she’s put into them, they’ll surely speak of what the Avatar did.   As much as she hates to admit it, the only way she was going to survive that fall, she knows, was with his help. She recalculates the moments again and again in her mind. Blasting from the top of the ship, falling through the air, impacting the wall, losing consciousness, then–  Her only hope would have been to jab her crown hairpin into the rocks, but she failed even that. She doesn’t deserve to be here. To be alive. And yet.  I forgive you. She knows that from anyone else, this wouldn’t have any effect on her. That stupid naive kid meant it with all that he is. Zuko would’ve been lying. Anyone else would be obviously lying. But him. That stupid kid.  How can she make sense of all this? Can she even go back home? The burgundy reds of her room feel suffocating now, completely at odds with the feeling she had experienced atop the ship. Why is that voice in her head so intent on ruining her life? The voices she corrects herself. There are two. One younger, and one with depth of experience.  With an exasperated sigh, she tries to discount her imagination. They can’t be real. She’s just under a lot of stress, that’s all.  Azula, Zuko, promise me you’ll look out for each other.  The words come back to her, clear as any cloudless sky, and she’s struck then, by the clarity of her mind. She’s never generated lightning as quickly as she did when firing toward the combustion bender. Only someone with total focus could do such a thing. Someone like Father. Someone with a singular ambition. Someone who knows their place in the world.  Not even Father is that fast. Part of the clarity brings realization. The voice she heard begging her and reminding her of a promise made as a child. It is Mother’s voice. Why here? Why now? She’s long gone, never to be seen again. How could her voice reach her– it must only be in her mind. Does a part of herself want to keep Zuko alive? Does she lack the conviction to follow through with Father’s orders? She even allowed the Avatar to escape unscathed.  It’s what Mother would have wanted, she knows. But this isn’t what she wants. Is it?  Her goal always has been and always will be to be the perfect princess. To be the gem of Father’s eye. To be perfect in all she does. Why is she slipping up now when the journey is at its end? She clenches and releases her hands and watches as they tremble and shake uncontrollably. “There’s good in everyone, even you.” What’s that supposed to mean? Good in everyone? As if she isn’t good? She’s doing what’s right for her nation, for her people for–  The door cracks open and the wide-eyed captain of the airship nudges the door further. “Princess, by orders of Fire Lord Ozai, we are making way for Caldera City. Are we to make any deviations within reason?” He clears his throat meaningfully.

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[cathartic-crypt]

im continuing my benny posting by sharing my benny hcs. in no particular order. and very quickly typed up. enjoy ^_^

- tattooed. he has lots and lots and lots of tattoos from when he was a boot rider. all kinds of tattoos. some desert themed, some things based around him, some others depicting things he just likes. he doesnt mind them much nowadays, hes so used to them that he sees them as part of his skin. although hes a little bit iffy about showing others his old tattoos. hes got an image to upkeep after all - speaking of boot riders. he got a canine knocked out by bingo during their fight. so he got a gold one fitted shortly after he became the leader of the chairmen. and it glints like hell - he wears lots of gold jewellery. especially pre-war rings. he prefers engraved ones, ones with little images etched into the metal or ones with short messages rather than ones with gems. he also wears a cross necklace under his shirt - despite his gun and necklace...hes not christian. like at all. he doesnt care for religion and hasnt read anything about the engraving on his pistol or the meaning of necklace. he just likes how flashy and elaborate the imagery looks - by the time the courier rolls around hes 31. he's also 5'5". - he has a dad bod. i will personally fistfight anyone who draws him muscular and dehydrated. living the cushy and comfortable life of a casino boss means hes not some lean bodybuilder - however...thats not to say he ISNT strong or that hes unhealthy. he has a really high endurance, and can last for a long while out in the desert. also he doesnt like admitting it but hes probably a fraction better at straight up punching someone than shooting them at point blank range - since he was always outside and always doing something, he used to have super calloused hands. but again, casino life means theyre much more pampered and soft now - however hes still got one hell of a grip. he can very easily grab you by your shirt and throw you out of the front door without even breaking a sweat - hes Bi. theres literally no way he isnt, fuck you. BUT he really isnt one for meaningful romantic connections, he much prefers something quick with zero extra baggage (i.e. one night stands, friends with benefits) - hes super nosy. and almost terrifyingly good at recognising and remembering faces. he sees a new face in the tops that he doesnt instantly match to a regular? he needs to know their name. and then he promptly loses all interest because the mystery is lost and the people turn out to be, by all things considered, really fucking boring - even further...anyone who doesnt fall for his charismatic charm (or, even worse, doesnt care about his reputation) becomes a nuisance and he NEEDS to at least form some sort of impression on them, be it good or bad. like full on “if you dont form an opinion about me i will pull my own hair out” - he used to have an absolute love for geckos. he didnt tame them, he was more so inclined to hunt than to nurture, but he would feed scraps to the younger ones - which meant they began to follow him around from time to time... not anymore though. he thinks theyre dirty and brutish and a reflection of what it was like to be a boot rider - hes called Benny Boots (mockingly) by people around the strip. at least by those who knows about the three families past. other than that his last name is Gecko. he also personally calls himself Benny 'New Vegas' sometimes as a sort of boastful title because he thinks hes the shining face (not the heart, mind you - thats House) of the strip - hes a huge morning person. its something he picked up, and cant get rid of, from the boot rider days. he wakes up super early in the morning, rising with the sun - and hates sleeping in because he feels like hes wasting time. he goes to sleep pretty late, since new vegas is awake at night, but he doesnt feel tired. a couple hours of sleep is good enough for him.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Question (because i'm curious and because i love enabling friends' hyperfixation): what is Tengu no Daidokoro? Why do you like it? What are you hoping for in a s2?

Also, should i watch it?

I adore Koisenu Futari and i have other similar queer-people-in-their-daily-life Japanese shows on my watch list (i loved my dining table and i have Kinou nani Tabeta and Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna waiting) that i just know i will love once i have the time to watch it!

Is Tengu no Daidokoro anything like it?

Thank you so much for this ask cause it gives me the opportunity to share my love for this show and also maybe make other people want to check it out.

Before anything else. This is not a queer show. All those shows you mentioned are some of my favourite shows, as you can see by my choice of pfp I adore Koisenu Futari as well. Kinou Nani Tabeta and Tsukutabe are magic and I really hope you get to them because they are so amazing. But Tengu is not that. It's an absolute gem and I adore it.

Now. Why do I love it? Why I am excited like it's christmas morning and I still believe in santa? So many reasons...

-IT'S GORGEOUS (if I hadn't binged this ,I would've giffed every frame)

I mean the greens are just incredible. All the colours in these show are actually. The change in the colours is amazing as well. My delusional brain will believe that this second season was made specifically so that me and @colourme-feral could once again lose our minds over THE GREENS.

-It's about two brothers. (I love stories around family)

Motoi (older brother played by Komagine Kiita) and On. A city 14 year old who comes to stay at his older brother's house in a rural area. They are estranged and have little in common. On is the perfect representation of 'kids these days...' (I know I'm getting old when this is what comes to mind), completely hates the idea of being away from the city and technology and internet (I related). Motoi is at home here, he's very quiet and calm. I love them. I love this relationship. I love how it grows and I can't wait to see where they go next.

-The food. (I love food)

Motoi has his own vegetable garden and he makes everything from there or other local sources. Just like the shows you mentioned in your ask, the food is a major ingredient to this story. It's the thing that brings these brothers together as well. the scene in the above gif is one of my favourites because of that. Not gonna give you spoilers.

-The dog. but also...

this is where the show takes a different turn than you'd expect. although not really because it's in the synopses, but if you only knew this show from gifs and this post you would not see this one coming. There's a supernatural element to this show. For starters that cute dog you see there, he talks. He's a talking dog!!! And he is delightful. but also this

(Can we just stop for a second and appreciate how beautiful Kiita is? I barely recognized him in 25 ji.) So yeah it's in the show's name, Tengu's Kitchen. Tengu's are a legendary creature from japanese folklore and the brothers are descendants of them. (more info here about that if you're curious).

-The three of them.

I adore them. I don't want to say more so you'll just have to watch it.

-the setting (did I mention it's gorgeous?)

I know I've mentioned the visuals but it's not just that. it's the scenery and the rhythm and the music (I love the ost of this show) and the everything. Look I watch shows for a bunch of different reasons. This one, I watch it, or rewatch it as the case may be, for my soul. It's beautiful, it's soothing, it's touching, and I feel better after watching it. I really can't explain it any other way.

There are more things I could say honestly but this is already so much longer than I intended. But it's 10 episodes of 30 minutes and as with a lot of jdramas, an incredible human @aoinousagi has fansubbed it for our viewing plesure. here is the link to their post.

These are just some of the reasons I love it and can't wait to watch more. I never expected it but this day is better because of that announcement alone. I'm so happy. I will do rewatch soon, and probaly gif more of it so maybe more people will want to check it out.

@yannig thank you so much for this question. Sorry if it's a bit of a incoherent mess but I'm really excited and having trouble putting it into words. And I know there are a lot of shows to watch and not enough time to watch them all, so of course no pressure, but if you're ever in the mood for something that is wholesome and beautiful I do recommend it highly.

[the-somwthing]

I dug through my notes and found some unfinished life series statistics, so I went ahead and finished them.

Here’s their placements if instead of “don’t lose all of your lives” it was “don’t die like at all”, AKA, Who Was The Last Person In Each Season To Have Their First Death

(Two different versions for DL, one counting your soulmate dying as a death and one not, also no Real Life because I got lazy 😭) + averages

3rd Life

1. BigB

2. Impulse

3. Martyn

4. Grian

5. Scott

6. Cleo

7. Etho

8. Tango

9. Ren

10. Jimmy

11. Joel

12. Bdubs

13. Skizz

14. Scar

Last Life

1. Martyn

2. Ren

3. Etho

4. BigB

5. Jimmy

6. Impulse

7. Tango

8. Scar

9. Bdubs

10. Cleo

11. Skizz

12. Pearl

13. Scott

14. Lizzie

15. Joel

16. Mumbo

17. Grian

Double Life (Soulbound)

(This is the version where if your soulmate dies, you die immediately after, so soulmates will place next to each other)

1. Grian

2. Scar

3. Bdubs

4. Impulse

5. Scott

6. Pearl

7. Martyn

8. Cleo

9. BigB

10. Ren

11. Etho

12. Joel

13. Jimmy

14. Tango

Double Life (Separate)

(This is the version where if your soulmate dies, you get to keep trying since technically you weren’t the one who died)

1. Martyn (didn’t die)

2. Etho

3. Grian

4. Scott

5. Scar

6. Bdubs

7. Jimmy

8. Impulse

9. Pearl

10. BigB

11. Cleo

12. Ren

13. Joel

14. Tango

Limited Life

1. Scott

2. Tango

3. Etho

4. Pearl

5. Bdubs

6. Grian

7. Martyn

8. BigB

9. Impulse

10. Cleo

11. Joel

12. Jimmy

13. Scar

14. Skizz

Secret Life

1. Cleo

2. Etho

3. Scar

4. Tango

5. Pearl

6. Impulse

7. Scott

8. BigB

9. Grian

10. Skizz

11. Bdubs

12. Mumbo

13. Lizzie

14. Joel

15. Gem

16. Jimmy

17. Martyn

And now, the average placements! There are two different versions, one for using the Soulbound DL section and one for using the Separate DL section, whichever one you think is more fair. This does mean some placements will be the same (people who weren’t in DL and Tango who died first no matter what)

AVERAGE PLACEMENTS: SOULBOUND

Etho - 5.2

Impulse - 5.4

BigB - 6

Scott - 6.2

Pearl - 6.75

Ren - 7

Cleo - 7

Tango - 7

Martyn - 7

Grian - 7.4

Scar - 8

Bdubs - 8

Jimmy - 11.2

Skizz - 12

Joel - 12.6

Lizzie - 13.5

Mumbo - 14

Gem - 15

AVERAGE PLACEMENTS: SEPARATE

Etho - 3.4

Martyn - 5.8

Scott - 6

Impulse - 6.2

BigB - 6.2

Tango - 7

Pearl - 7.5

Cleo - 7.6

Ren - 7.6666666666667

Grian - 7.8

Bdubs - 8.6

Scar - 8.6

Jimmy - 10

Skizz - 12

Joel - 12.8

Lizzie - 13.5

Mumbo - 14

Gem - 15

Wow! Etho is killing it out here, being first place in both versions. Being soulbound to Joel tanked his score by 2 placements but he is still on top. This is rather unfair to Gem, Mumbo, and Lizzie, who have only been in very little seasons and worst of all the only seasons they’ve been in were the ones with a higher player count. Still, in order to be higher than last they would’ve needed to not have their first deaths so soon…

Martyn is way higher in the Separate section due to technically not dying, but like, HE was the one who killed his soulmate, so L bozo on the soulbound section.

Interestingly, Scar and Bdubs tied in both sections even though they got different scores.

Also worth mentioning, you’d think that the Separate section would help those who had their soulmates die before they did, but it only helps sometimes because they’re still competing with the other half of the server who had their soulmates die first. Not to mention the pairs that lasted longer.

Well, any surprises here? I always knew Etho was a survivor. That was, like, a whole thing in Last Life, despite Ren and Martyn beating him in that season. Actually, Etho is never the last person to die, he is just consistently ONE OF the last to die. Except in 3rd Life (and Double Life if you take the soulbond into account).