watchingsunrises

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The one thing I’m still most devastated about (besides losing him) is the freedom, happiness and love that they did not get to have. They have had to live so much of the last 14 year in silence, in secret. They have to had lie about who they were with, what they were doing. They have to put up with disgusting allegations that are lies being said about them. All just so they can continue being in love with each other. And because of that their love never ever weakened for each other. Their love for each other as each others partner just grew stronger. And in death Zayn loves Liam more than ever. Oh how I wish it could have been different for him, for them. Oh how I wish Zayn didn’t have to lose his husband in this kind of away. They met at McDonald’s and their lives were instantly forever changed. They were made to meet each other and made to fall in love because Zayn was the only person that was the one for Liam and Liam was the only person that was the one for Zayn. In every single lifetime they were made to find each other. So as devastating as it is that they didn’t get the ending they deserved in this lifetime they will meet each other and fall in love again with each other in the next lifetime. Hopefully in that lifetime they’re free to be who they want to be and free to love each other unconditionally😢❤️💛

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L being soft/hungry for Z

Part 2

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It’s You // You & I 

Enduring  [en-doo r-ing, -dyoo r-]  adjective

lasting; permanent.

patient; long suffering.

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Ziam is real, climb on board

For the first time, we’re experiencing a genuine influx of people looking into Ziam, the real relationship between Zayn and Liam. And honestly it’s about time. It’s always been so beautiful and devoted and consistent and visible to those willing to invest and find out for themselves. It’s also been so unseen and dismissed and a bit buried by Larry too. I’m a Larry too, but right now I’m all about Ziam. I’m really happy Ziam is getting there deserved time seeing some light.

I’m not here to convince anyone. Ziam isn’t new, it has been around and discussed and real since 2012 when we believe their relationship started extending beyond friendship. There is an existing treasure trove that can be sought out by people willing to open their mind and examine it, especially from Zayn and Liam themselves. Right from the start and up until present day. 

The truth is we are experiencing a moment we weren’t expecting. First with Liam’s death. Now with Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. 

People are interested in Liam and that is a normal reaction. People are noticing a lot of things that don’t make sense and are curious and questioning that. People can’t make sense about his relationship with his “girlfriend”, the public PR performance at his funeral of a select group of celebrities (all aligned with Modest, Simon Jones PR or existing narratives regarding the boys) and of course the narrative around his “son” Bear.

Usually when things don’t make sense, there is a good reason, we know this with Larry too, and so in the same way people should look and critically engage. Gaps can’t always be filled when we are dealing with public media narratives that then clearly don’t align with who a person really is consistently as a human. It's pretty hard work for all involved to contain a decades plus closet, in times like this. That is a big part of what people are noticing with Liam. They should question public narratives and media. Liam wanted to be seen and heard for who he really was, and celebrating and talking about Ziam right now is one of the biggest parts of seeing and knowing Liam. Its not disrespectful if you've done the work to see and know, just like with Larry.

Now we also finally have Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. Seeing him on stage after a 10 year wait is kind of exhilarating and like any of the boys you get a reminder on stage of who the person really is, really leaning in and hearing the lyrics live and seeing his being. Zayn is very definitely coding to us in a way that he hasn’t been able to do so before. He knew we would be looking and he wants to be seen. He is literally telling us that he is honest and truthful in his music. Zayn’s public narrative has never made sense either, it's all the same closeting stuff. Copy of a copy of a copy.

The narrative set up for Room Under the Stairs was actually quite strange, and in reality it translates very poorly to the lyrics and the emotions. So many gaps and things that don't make sense. In the future I will share some analysis on RUTS. I’ve been immersed in the album non-stop since May. The album to me is mostly about his closet - the pain it has caused him, the effect it has had on his relationship, the pain and effect it has had on his long term partner, the ways in which he has had to reframe his mindset to live within the reality of his closet, the ways he has changed his lifestyle to focus on the simple things in life to help his mental health impacted by his closet (and other things). Yet throughout all that heartbreaking pain, he still talks about his person, his lover, he refers to 'they' in many key lyrics, he brings his partner into the lyrics clearly, lyrics that clearly refer back to past and present times. Its the same person, it always has been in Zayn's lyrics. He tells them and us that he wouldn’t change anything despite all that pain, that their love has been worth it, that he is devoted, that their love was like stardust from the start until forever. The most specific songs relating to his person haven't been included on the tour setlist - How it Feels, The Time, False Starts, Grateful, Something in the Water and of course Stardust. They are the strongest songs on the album, the ones that have made me cry non-stop for the last 6 months. I suspect he rearranged the setlist, they would have been too hard to sing live. Instead we see a few B sides we wouldn't have expected on tour. I hope more people will listen to RUTS, it's absolutely devastating, empowering and life affirming and you can really see and feel who Zayn is.

Enjoy your Ziam journey if you decide to take it.

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I can’t be the only one who heard Zayn saying “i’ll miss you Liam” after hitting the high notes…

I’ll miss you too Liam, one of the singer with the biggest heart ;)

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Last Request has to be a ziam song??? I mean Liam sang it in 2010 no way he didn’t serenade it to Z at some point😖💔

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Sorry to bother you,do you think ziam still together in 2024? Now Liam just gone,they have no chance…

Thank you for the question.

I wasn’t very active in the fandom for the last 14 months. That’s why I’m not very up-to-date with the latest proofs of Ziam that we’ve been given. But I believe in their love and the bond they shared because of the hints and signs they had given us for more than a decade. Some of those were so loud and unignorable that I still get shocked over how some fans could turn a blind eye to them, so yes, I believe that Ziam was real till the end.

Though putting Ziam aside, what hurts me the most is that people cannot see how Liam suffered from being closeted and had to endure living all his life with stunts and beards. Whether Ziam was real or not, it was so clear that the women Liam was said to be “dating” were only beards. Each of his “relationships” with those women were stunts full of lies and fake stories. (Realizing this was the motive for me to look into Ziam in the first place). I wish Liam could have been set free from the chains that kept him closeted and lived the happy and peaceful life that he deserved 💔 I pray for Zayn to find peace in life, and my heart hurts for him knowing that he has lost someone so dear to him

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ok

thanks

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do you know about some h#rries on twitter said that louis kicked a pride flag? some l#uies said it was an irish flag but i think i saw a blue color on them when he kicked it. i wanna give him the benefit of the doubt since i dont have a clearer version of the video but wdyt abt that?

I haven’t seen that video, but what they’re trying to insinuate is that Louis doesn’t support the gay community and is h*mophobic, when that is just not true. And it’s childish to insinuate as such given the countless examples of support towards the LGBTQ+ community Louis has continued to demonstrate despite his limited ability to do so . 

Also, Louis is a gay man himself. He supports his own community as much as he can publicly - which given his position is limited unfortunately. But he also supports his community privately.

Here is Louis applauding a gay couple on their engagement

Louis teaming up with Polari, a brand based on the secret gay language used since the 60s when gay people were persecuted and incarcerated in England. That is his community, where he grew up.

Louis interacting with queer fans and rainbow flags

Several instances of Louis’ support for the LGBTQ+ community

Masterpost of Louis’ LGBTQ+ support throughout the years

More instances of his support and use of rainbow imagery

He hangs out at gay bars and clubs, has throughout all these years

He has privately donated to LGBTQ+ organizations for years as well

And honestly, it irks me how people love to point the finger at Louis, when he is closeted. If you don’t see his support for the queer community it’s because he can’t be that loud and run around with rainbow flags. In his position he can’t do a lot, but he has done what he can. If you haven’t seen it, then that is on you. You are turning a willful blind eye to it and dismissing him.

How can you dismiss this?

that is literally Louis’ face engulfed by a melting rainbow.

ALL OUT is a gay organization. That is showing his support.

Wearing rainbow - that is showing his support.

Louis is a part of the gay community. All of these instances are examples of him showing that he is a part of it. He’s putting himself there. He is coding for other queer people to see. This is what closeted people do.

Don’t dismiss his symbolism. All his choices about wearing rainbow, and using rainbow imagery are examples of him showing us who he is. It’s beyond being an ally. It’s Louis showing that he is proudly a part of this community.

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i saw someone on twitter found this old video of liam singing last request :(

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Zayn, we see and hear you x

Oh Zayn, we see and hear you. Thank you. Your red Liam microphone, red lights and hat.  Wearing the diamond necklace you and Liam each had a strand of (so many photos of Liam wearing the original three strands and later you wearing a strand and Liam wearing just two). Same necklace you wore to the funeral with your red Liam wolf proudly on your chest.

Leaving us with Stardust as tribute to Liam, a song you called the album's love song. A song about two people destined to meet and be together forever. A song where the music video starts with two men together in cowboy hats (Brokeback Mountain ref) watching a sunrise together as the fateful star explodes on earth.

Singing Scripted, never a big single that's about how everything we see and hear about you is fake scripted news. The song that ends with the unscripted part of your life, your lyrics repeating you and I, you and I, the big 1D Ziam song that Liam tattooed I figured it out from.

The t-shirt that says Trust Nobody. We see and hear you Zayn. Open up your eyes and see indeed. Can't wait for the rest of the tour. Proud of you Zayn. He is too X

The fuscia sea lighting was also beautiful.

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Zayn left. Stardust by Zayn plays in full as the tribute message is displayed and fans sob in the audience.

Zayn. Stairway To The Sky Tour in Leeds UK. Nov 23 2024.

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Zayn borrowed Liam’s diamond necklace for his new magazine photoshoot