watchingsunrises

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn lyrics analysis - Grateful and The Time

As promised some lyric analysis from Room Under the Stairs. Still can't stop listening to these songs or album.

Some points to make clear first for context. The narrative set up for this album was a big fake mess and in reality did not align to the lyrics and what Zayn tells us in his music or interviews if you pay attention. The narrative set was he'd been writing the album for 6 years, it was about his relationship of that period and it was also about his daughter.

First the timeline makes no sense, we are meant to believe that this album covers the period of 2017 to 2023??!! Please Zayn released 3 full albums in that time period. Most artists write in their current context they rarely hold on to songs for 6 years. If they are good they want them on that current album. Also the songs on this album all reflect significant personal growth, emotional intelligence, maturity, possibly some therapy, reframing of his life including on his past in 1D. Its clear those are more recent changes that usually come with age or significant life changes or overcoming challenges. So the narrative on the timeframe was all bullshit. Its likely he wrote this album in 2022 to 2023. A period where he was publically single. The narrative was used to cover the many love/long term partner related songs on the album. Hello, Stardust. 

Secondly Zayn made it clear in a few interviews that he is really fast at putting his music together. He literally said he can put an entire song down start to finish in 2 to 3 hours. Don't think he needed 6 years to put this album together. 

The other gem Zayn gave us in interviews was the in hindsight, I don't think I've ever been in love before. Thank you Zayn, if people pay attention he made it pretty clear he isn't writing any love songs about his former public relationships. Yet the album has multiple love related songs. Again, hence the bullshit narrative.

Thirdly, the narrative the album was about his daughter. I mean she was 2 to 3 when this album was written. He makes it clear even where there is a stunt line or two that he is talking to an adult, telling them deep things, doing things they shouldn't do, lying for them etc. Nothing speaks about a toddler here at all. Not once. I have a child only a few years older, there's no sign of a child in these lyrics. 

With that in mind I wanted to analyse two of my favourite songs, as a start. Really powerful songs and vocals. Songs that are deeply personal to me, I understand and relate to the themes of gratitude and time deeply. I believe Zayn relates to them from similar life experiences. Songs I fully believe would have been originally part of the tour. Songs in the context of losing Liam, would be impossible to sing live. Hence the tour including a whole bunch of B sides from the album. 

Grateful

I see your mother’s shine in your eye

I know that you’re mine and I'm cryin'

Tellin' you the things that are on my mind

When I think of you

This is a classic stunt line used to set up the idea the song is about his daughter who he is grateful for. If you pay attention to the third line he is telling things to this person that are on his mind. He is not telling a then 2 or 3 year old all the things on his mind. He is talking about another adult here, his love, his person. He's also not talking about Gigi here, they were broken up when the album was really written, plus he never loved her, remember. The rest of the song is also talking about the ups and downs in life and his relationship. A relationship he's still clearly in, there's no past tense. With that in mind let's revisit the first two lines and how intimate and beautiful they really are. He is telling his person, his love, that their eyes share the same shine as their mother. Ugh my heart. Zayn is the softest, most romantic. That he knows this person is his person in life and knowing he's met his person makes him cry. Cry from happiness and gratitude. And if you believe his person, his love is Liam then this song already just stunning that this is how his love feels to him. Now it's just even more beautiful and gut wrenching and no wonder he couldn't sing it live on tour, even though it's such a sing a long style song and I fully believe he would have intended to sing it on tour. 

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

Love it when the rain comes down

Love it when the waves calm down

Yeah, I'm grateful for you

He is just so content and happy to have found his person in life. The rains can come down on them individually or as a couple, they know they can get through and things always calm down eventually. He is just grateful. Again gut wrenching now. I can barely contemplate how these songs have changed for Zayn. 

These days I live to my depiction

Nowadays I'm findin' no affliction

These days I'm needin' no restriction

Feel like I'm finding new addiction

He is as a person feeling like he can be more of his true self in private and public, perhaps found ways to find peace in his/their closeting and situation. He has less restrictions now without the constant long term beading/pr relationships. He is able to stay publically single with the cover of a child. There is a whole different post somewhere in the future on this. I believe Louis and Zayn were able to make the same negotiation to be single in exchange for father of the year roles. But perhaps their partners had to more heavily stunt in relationships too. We will never know but there is some mirroring between the two couples situations the last 3 years or so especially Zouis. 

And it feels good

And I knew it would

When I'm tellin' this story it's complicated

Some mishaps I've been mournin' but I'm grateful for it

It feels good to write music without it having to be perceived about his public relationships. He can't share all the stories still though, they are too complicated. There are mistakes he regrets but he can still feel gratefulness amongst it all.

Things change and I'm okay with what I'm not

It feels wasteful to be hateful

I'll be grateful for what I got

There has been so much pain in his life. He could choose to be angry and hateful but that feels wasteful. He chooses to reframe and focus on what he has, who he is and be grateful. There is huge maturity and emotional intelligence going on here. 

These days I'm needin' no restriction (For you)

Just as always Zayn finds a subtle sweet way to bring his person, his love into the narrative of the lyrics. These days I'm needing no restrictions for you. For you! Perhaps this refers to no longer needing the restriction of a bearing/pr relationships to cover his for you. He sounds like he feels more free. He's focussed on gratitude. 

The Time

Yesterday just came and went

And if today I wake up late, I won't forgive myself

’Cause time's running its own game

And I've rolled the dice too many times in my head

Huge changes as mentioned in perspective and growth as a person. He is reframing life, he values time, he doesn't want to waste time anymore. He's wasted time in the past being angry, being focussed on pain or other challenges. Its not for him now. Something significant happened that challenged his perspective too.

Never fell for the fame thing

They fell in love with the same things

Let me know when the rain ends

See all I need is you

Ain’t it special? Ain't it precious?

The time that we have

When I'm laid in your bed and you tell me you lovе me

Bringing his person, his love into the story with him, as he ALWAYS has across 4 albums. He and his person never fell for the fame thing. His person is in the industry too. That's pretty clear here, right. He and his person fell in love with the same things. Again seems clear, they both fell in love with music. Music is the thing they love and what they wanted to do in life. Fame came with it but they didn't really want to play that game. I'll fight anyone who can't see this isn't about Liam. Who else, honestly? All he needs is his person, his love. Its the best thing they both got from the fame and music. They got each other, as teenage boys and god damn that really is SO special and precious. So rare and unique. The time they have is everything, it means more than the fame and music and all the bullshit they have had to go through to be together. Time is all that matters, it is everything. When they lay in bed together, when they say I love you, he's making it clear it's an intimate setting, yet so normal and usual for them. Those are the moments that matter most not fame or music.

Colours back in all my days

Build the structure, lеt it break

As long as it's good for your brain

Lessons learned is what I've gained

Feedin' families, forget the fame

I'm doing it now for a second name

His person, his love brings all the colour into his life. I mean beautiful, they bring him joy and happiness. There's also queerness here, a number of closeted artists talk in lyrics about it being grey and searching for colour or the rainbow. He has his rainbow. They've built a life together, structures, a home, routine. Simple life, relationship things. Whatever is good for them, doesn't matter what it is. Its away from the fame. Feeding families, they are a family and they support their own families, these are benefits from the fame, they focus on. Doing it for a second name. Obviously a stunt line, you have to expect them but in context of the song and the rest of it using they to reflect his partner, it can be more true that he's referring to his partners second name.

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

When you're doing things you shouldn’t be

And I lie for you

And I could cry when you tell me that you love me

And I'd die for you if you asked me to

This bridge, I was crying before Liam passed just the absolute love and devotion that you would die if the person asked you too. And no this line is not about his daughter, his daughter at 2 or 3 is not doing things they shouldn't and him lying for her. There is some insight here for me that perhaps this refers to Liam's addiction issues. That Zayn is fighting for, fighting with his partner, time is everything. They've been close to the edge of life and loss. That's the feeling here for me. And I feel that because I've been going through cancer the last few years, on the edge of my own mortality. Facing that fear. How time is the greatest value in life. How time with my daughter means more than anything. How every second of time spent in the most simplest and intimate ways with her is so fucking precious and special. And when I think of Zayn writing this song and still having Liam after whatever happened on that edge of life. To truly understand the value of time in life, it's a different way of understanding, of knowing when you've truly faced it on the edge of life. That's what I feel in the song, in many parts of the entire album. It resonates so deeply for me. To then lose him afterall. It is devastating. It makes me deeply worried if Zayn can find his way in life without Liam. I hope he can, I hope he can focus in on the same things he focuses on in this album. I hope he can find it in him to write for Liam. I hope the tour gives him something forward focussed. 

[watchingsunrises]

The one thing I’m still most devastated about (besides losing him) is the freedom, happiness and love that they did not get to have. They have had to live so much of the last 14 year in silence, in secret. They have to had lie about who they were with, what they were doing. They have to put up with disgusting allegations that are lies being said about them. All just so they can continue being in love with each other. And because of that their love never ever weakened for each other. Their love for each other as each others partner just grew stronger. And in death Zayn loves Liam more than ever. Oh how I wish it could have been different for him, for them. Oh how I wish Zayn didn’t have to lose his husband in this kind of away. They met at McDonald’s and their lives were instantly forever changed. They were made to meet each other and made to fall in love because Zayn was the only person that was the one for Liam and Liam was the only person that was the one for Zayn. In every single lifetime they were made to find each other. So as devastating as it is that they didn’t get the ending they deserved in this lifetime they will meet each other and fall in love again with each other in the next lifetime. Hopefully in that lifetime they’re free to be who they want to be and free to love each other unconditionally😢❤️💛

[watchingsunrises]

L being soft/hungry for Z

Part 2

[watchingsunrises]

It’s You // You & I 

Enduring  [en-doo r-ing, -dyoo r-]  adjective

lasting; permanent.

patient; long suffering.

[watchingsunrises]

Ziam is real, climb on board

For the first time, we’re experiencing a genuine influx of people looking into Ziam, the real relationship between Zayn and Liam. And honestly it’s about time. It’s always been so beautiful and devoted and consistent and visible to those willing to invest and find out for themselves. It’s also been so unseen and dismissed and a bit buried by Larry too. I’m a Larry too, but right now I’m all about Ziam. I’m really happy Ziam is getting there deserved time seeing some light.

I’m not here to convince anyone. Ziam isn’t new, it has been around and discussed and real since 2012 when we believe their relationship started extending beyond friendship. There is an existing treasure trove that can be sought out by people willing to open their mind and examine it, especially from Zayn and Liam themselves. Right from the start and up until present day. 

The truth is we are experiencing a moment we weren’t expecting. First with Liam’s death. Now with Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. 

People are interested in Liam and that is a normal reaction. People are noticing a lot of things that don’t make sense and are curious and questioning that. People can’t make sense about his relationship with his “girlfriend”, the public PR performance at his funeral of a select group of celebrities (all aligned with Modest, Simon Jones PR or existing narratives regarding the boys) and of course the narrative around his “son” Bear.

Usually when things don’t make sense, there is a good reason, we know this with Larry too, and so in the same way people should look and critically engage. Gaps can’t always be filled when we are dealing with public media narratives that then clearly don’t align with who a person really is consistently as a human. It's pretty hard work for all involved to contain a decades plus closet, in times like this. That is a big part of what people are noticing with Liam. They should question public narratives and media. Liam wanted to be seen and heard for who he really was, and celebrating and talking about Ziam right now is one of the biggest parts of seeing and knowing Liam. Its not disrespectful if you've done the work to see and know, just like with Larry.

Now we also finally have Zayn touring for the first time ever as a solo artist. Seeing him on stage after a 10 year wait is kind of exhilarating and like any of the boys you get a reminder on stage of who the person really is, really leaning in and hearing the lyrics live and seeing his being. Zayn is very definitely coding to us in a way that he hasn’t been able to do so before. He knew we would be looking and he wants to be seen. He is literally telling us that he is honest and truthful in his music. Zayn’s public narrative has never made sense either, it's all the same closeting stuff. Copy of a copy of a copy.

The narrative set up for Room Under the Stairs was actually quite strange, and in reality it translates very poorly to the lyrics and the emotions. So many gaps and things that don't make sense. In the future I will share some analysis on RUTS. I’ve been immersed in the album non-stop since May. The album to me is mostly about his closet - the pain it has caused him, the effect it has had on his relationship, the pain and effect it has had on his long term partner, the ways in which he has had to reframe his mindset to live within the reality of his closet, the ways he has changed his lifestyle to focus on the simple things in life to help his mental health impacted by his closet (and other things). Yet throughout all that heartbreaking pain, he still talks about his person, his lover, he refers to 'they' in many key lyrics, he brings his partner into the lyrics clearly, lyrics that clearly refer back to past and present times. Its the same person, it always has been in Zayn's lyrics. He tells them and us that he wouldn’t change anything despite all that pain, that their love has been worth it, that he is devoted, that their love was like stardust from the start until forever. The most specific songs relating to his person haven't been included on the tour setlist - How it Feels, The Time, False Starts, Grateful, Something in the Water and of course Stardust. They are the strongest songs on the album, the ones that have made me cry non-stop for the last 6 months. I suspect he rearranged the setlist, they would have been too hard to sing live. Instead we see a few B sides we wouldn't have expected on tour. I hope more people will listen to RUTS, it's absolutely devastating, empowering and life affirming and you can really see and feel who Zayn is.

Enjoy your Ziam journey if you decide to take it.

[watchingsunrises]

I can’t be the only one who heard Zayn saying “i’ll miss you Liam” after hitting the high notes…

I’ll miss you too Liam, one of the singer with the biggest heart ;)

[watchingsunrises]

Last Request has to be a ziam song??? I mean Liam sang it in 2010 no way he didn’t serenade it to Z at some point😖💔

[watchingsunrises]

Sorry to bother you,do you think ziam still together in 2024? Now Liam just gone,they have no chance…

Thank you for the question.

I wasn’t very active in the fandom for the last 14 months. That’s why I’m not very up-to-date with the latest proofs of Ziam that we’ve been given. But I believe in their love and the bond they shared because of the hints and signs they had given us for more than a decade. Some of those were so loud and unignorable that I still get shocked over how some fans could turn a blind eye to them, so yes, I believe that Ziam was real till the end.

Though putting Ziam aside, what hurts me the most is that people cannot see how Liam suffered from being closeted and had to endure living all his life with stunts and beards. Whether Ziam was real or not, it was so clear that the women Liam was said to be “dating” were only beards. Each of his “relationships” with those women were stunts full of lies and fake stories. (Realizing this was the motive for me to look into Ziam in the first place). I wish Liam could have been set free from the chains that kept him closeted and lived the happy and peaceful life that he deserved 💔 I pray for Zayn to find peace in life, and my heart hurts for him knowing that he has lost someone so dear to him

[watchingsunrises]

ok

thanks

[watchingsunrises]

do you know about some h#rries on twitter said that louis kicked a pride flag? some l#uies said it was an irish flag but i think i saw a blue color on them when he kicked it. i wanna give him the benefit of the doubt since i dont have a clearer version of the video but wdyt abt that?

I haven’t seen that video, but what they’re trying to insinuate is that Louis doesn’t support the gay community and is h*mophobic, when that is just not true. And it’s childish to insinuate as such given the countless examples of support towards the LGBTQ+ community Louis has continued to demonstrate despite his limited ability to do so . 

Also, Louis is a gay man himself. He supports his own community as much as he can publicly - which given his position is limited unfortunately. But he also supports his community privately.

Here is Louis applauding a gay couple on their engagement

Louis teaming up with Polari, a brand based on the secret gay language used since the 60s when gay people were persecuted and incarcerated in England. That is his community, where he grew up.

Louis interacting with queer fans and rainbow flags

Several instances of Louis’ support for the LGBTQ+ community

Masterpost of Louis’ LGBTQ+ support throughout the years

More instances of his support and use of rainbow imagery

He hangs out at gay bars and clubs, has throughout all these years

He has privately donated to LGBTQ+ organizations for years as well

And honestly, it irks me how people love to point the finger at Louis, when he is closeted. If you don’t see his support for the queer community it’s because he can’t be that loud and run around with rainbow flags. In his position he can’t do a lot, but he has done what he can. If you haven’t seen it, then that is on you. You are turning a willful blind eye to it and dismissing him.

How can you dismiss this?

that is literally Louis’ face engulfed by a melting rainbow.

ALL OUT is a gay organization. That is showing his support.

Wearing rainbow - that is showing his support.

Louis is a part of the gay community. All of these instances are examples of him showing that he is a part of it. He’s putting himself there. He is coding for other queer people to see. This is what closeted people do.

Don’t dismiss his symbolism. All his choices about wearing rainbow, and using rainbow imagery are examples of him showing us who he is. It’s beyond being an ally. It’s Louis showing that he is proudly a part of this community.

[watchingsunrises]

i saw someone on twitter found this old video of liam singing last request :(

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn, we see and hear you x

Oh Zayn, we see and hear you. Thank you. Your red Liam microphone, red lights and hat.  Wearing the diamond necklace you and Liam each had a strand of (so many photos of Liam wearing the original three strands and later you wearing a strand and Liam wearing just two). Same necklace you wore to the funeral with your red Liam wolf proudly on your chest.

Leaving us with Stardust as tribute to Liam, a song you called the album's love song. A song about two people destined to meet and be together forever. A song where the music video starts with two men together in cowboy hats (Brokeback Mountain ref) watching a sunrise together as the fateful star explodes on earth.

Singing Scripted, never a big single that's about how everything we see and hear about you is fake scripted news. The song that ends with the unscripted part of your life, your lyrics repeating you and I, you and I, the big 1D Ziam song that Liam tattooed I figured it out from.

The t-shirt that says Trust Nobody. We see and hear you Zayn. Open up your eyes and see indeed. Can't wait for the rest of the tour. Proud of you Zayn. He is too X

The fuscia sea lighting was also beautiful.

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn left. Stardust by Zayn plays in full as the tribute message is displayed and fans sob in the audience.

Zayn. Stairway To The Sky Tour in Leeds UK. Nov 23 2024.

[watchingsunrises]

Zayn borrowed Liam’s diamond necklace for his new magazine photoshoot