#tyognat

[oddly-specific-hermit-headcanons]

no one on hermitcraft is human (and they all know this)- except for mumbo. He also has no idea anyone else is not human. For the funnies, no one believes him when he says he's human, and keep trying to figure out (in their own ways) what he is.

Impulse keeps trying to subtlety tell mumbo he has nothing to hide and can tell the hermits anything (this confuses mumbo quite a bit)

Grian says he believes mumbo, but really his diamonds are on either vampire or some sort of shadow monster in the betting pool

Doc and etho are running a betting pool

Zed has bdubs skizz and tango and himself working to keep a constant monitor on mumbo just in case he does something suspicious , this includes using cameras, spyglasses, various small holes to peek through and watch him, grian, ect.

Xisuma knows mumbo is human, obviously, but is participating in the betting pool anyway solely because he knows the hermits know that he knows, and him participating will encourage the rumors (not that he would encourage that type of thing, no, never)

Gem keeps asking mumbo random questions to try and get him to reveal something, which of course he doesn't, but she is convinced his answers must mean something, and keeps coming up with increasingly random theories about what he could be

The only person gem has managed to successfully convince of these theories is pearl, who has taken to dropping in on mumbo at random times to try to "catch him in the act"- the act of what even pearl herself doesn't know

Cub is having a field day making horns out of confused mumbo noises and various other "I'm just a human!"'s

Scar is the accomplice- the accomplice to what, nobody knows, but he was definitely the accomplice to something, possibly everything

And finally- mumbo is just as oblivious as ever, he has no idea most of this is going on (except for things asked to him directly) and thinks there must be something in the water making everyone a bit crazy, possibly the chemicals he's been pouring into it, that he has somehow been exempt from.

As an extra, autocorrect has tried to correct watch to watchers multiple times (I'm rather proud of it) doesn't know how to spell as accomplice (to be fair, I didn't either, had to look it up on Google) and seems to think xisuma should be insulation, despite auto filling xisuma- very interesting choice auto correct.

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[oddly-specific-hermit-headcanons]

(guys I'm back with another essay long headcanon ,.I have to much time on my hands 😔)

I like to think some hermits with non overworld origins have never seen snow (like me before it snowed 8.8 inches in Florida where It hasn't fr snowed In like 50 years and they cancelled school for a week - I mean what?) they just see this mysterious white powder that makes your hands numb floating down from the sky and are like "what. is this like, ashes? nuclear fallout? drugs??".and one of the other has to explain "yeah that just. happens sometimes. we kinda just deal with it and move on" but even after years of living in the overworld they're still not used to it and just. look at it. In awe. everytime it snows.

NAH YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END?! IF YOU THINK THESE HERMITS DON'T HAVE AN ORGANIZED SNOWBALL FIGHT EVERY YEAR YOU ARE WRONG. THIS THING HAS BETRAYALS, ALLIES, AND IS A FULL ON MONTH LONG WAR.

(don't ask them what the rules are, no one knows. they decide who wins by who has to get treated for frostbite the least) (its not a snowball fight on the hermitcraft server unless someone loses a finger)(or gets hypothermia)(it's usually bdubs)

tbh the reason bdubs always gets hypothermia is because he always hides in an impressively camouflaged igloo the entire month with a continuously growing pile of snowballs that may or may not be the size of a house of which he refuses to "come out we have hot chocolate" this is not helped by the fact they are shouting this into the open air hoping he is somewhere nearby as bdubs hide and seek skills are exquisite, and he refuses to "forfeit" the game by "giving in to the enemy" no matter how many hot drinks and blankets are promised

grian is treated like Schrodingers ̶C̶a̶t̶ (that's supposed to be a strike though btw) parrot, as in "if I don't check, he is both at once and therefore cannot hit me" (which he might be because grian will be grian fr) check being check to see if he is hiding around the corner with the ball of ice he passes off as a snowball which he never the less will be . Staring at you. (Until he starts pelting ice chunks at you. He might still be staring, but no one knows because they're too busy running away to check)

Cub sees grian standing in the door way and just dodges them. Without moving from his spot. He just dodges.

Did doc invent a large snowball firing machine that could knock over even the feistiest gem. Yes. Was he also banned from using it because it would break the server as well as the gem? Yes.

Do not .I REPEAT, DO NOT take the snow from pearls backyard. It may look safe, but I guarantee you, that snow has been peed on by a dog.

Jevin is over here just absorbing those snowballs like a boss

pearl is also over here staring into the open sky menacingly throwing a snowball between her hands. "Whatcha doin?" "Threatening grian" "?" "He'll know"

An unidentifiable being that you cannot look directly at but definitely has deer antlers floats down from the sky landing daintily on top of a kraken tentacle holding a glowing golden chest adorned with many beautiful designs and engravings. The chest floats down, gently landing on the floor in front of gem. "Thanks 👍" gem says looking directly at it with literally no trouble because she's just like that- the chest opens to reveal a hole to a pocket dimension full of unmeltable snowballs and a note that says "I heard you needed snowballs for a fight? Who am I to deny my champion a good war :D anyways usual Thursday gossip sesh still work?" This is probably a bad thing because if patron deities are about to get involved, this fights 'bout to get CRAZY . I would say it's impressive help from deities hasn't been banned yet, but there is both no rules and that would also disqualify a significant amount of hermits from playing

Pearl decides that the easiest way to win would be to get the moon involved, its basically a giant snowball right? This is quickly put a stop to. No one wants a repeat of moon big. How she was able to ask the moon though raises questions...

Biblically accurate angels look kinda like snowballs right? This is skizzs logic. He might have scared some people though... Alternatively, he divebombs people with an arm full of snowballs while laughing maniacally

Alternatively alternatively,skizz distracts them with dad jokes, and impulse comes at 'em from behind this works like a charm if you ignore all the times this ended up with impulse face down in the snow and skizz pointing and laughing before he gets a face full of the snow as well

Joel also prefers the tactic of laughing manically while chasing you with his (suspiciously yellow) snowballs (don't worry it's just from the honey) (or is it???)

COINCIDENTALLY (or not) one of these famed snowball fights during the empires crossover. This has resulted in some non hermits becoming aware of this amazing event and being roped in. This has subsequently resulted in many more people for me to think of head canons for 👍 yay !

Scott is just having fun making his snowmen with jimmy and gets pelted (dont worry though this results in many many shovels of snow being dumped down jackets and onto heads by Scott)

Jimmy wills get hit with one snowball and instinctively block it with a wing and start yelling and chasing people down with "I'm not a toy" level rage but then spend all day complaining to grian about how wet his feathers are now

Sausage will inevitably make a ball related joke

Oli will start singing the ballad of the snowball fight or something

jimmy will also start making a rube Goldberg style sort of machine or something outside of Grians house consisting or two oranges one milk carton five glass bottles 'organically sourced' wood planks, diamond ore wiring from the bowels of docs latest redstone machine, tango, some suspicious milk (not in the carton I might add) one of pearls dogs sitting precariously on a teetering wooden board (it looks quite surprise on how it got there) (don't tell pearl) an anonymous persons plushy, some number twenty two pencils (not sure where those came from) a Giga Pie, some royal emeralds, and a large boulder sitting at the very top, worryingly positioned above the dogs head. All of this to drop a bucket of powdered snow on grians head when he walks through. This is the ruined of course when who but grian himself walks up behind him and just straight up WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR. and then the bucket falls on Jim's head while his mouth is still open in shock. Sorry Jim.

Bonus: I have this very clear image in my head of Martyn hearing all bout this and being like "you didn't tell me ren >:(" and ren just stand their sheepishly. About a week later, Martyn is visiting the hermitcraft server and someone throws a snowball at him. He is sitting in a pool chair. He catches it without looking. This is why they did not tell him.

(I do not apologize for the long headcanon I had so much fun with this)

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[oddly-specific-hermit-headcanons]

Pearl has many hats. Many many hats. In fact, she has all the hats! She has the hats you would expect her to have, like her postmaster hat... And hats you would not expect her to have. Like Grians fisherman hat. And Scars zookeeper hat.. And the tag hat. And Scott's chromia hat... And Jimmy's sheriff hat... And Shelby's witch hat....And Scars swaggon hat....And the rest of the boatem hats........And big eye glasses.........And the convex heads....... And the hat from Grians link skin in evo.............

She keeps them all in a very large closet.

(btw I'm not crazy cub and scar DID have vex heads when they were the convex right?)

I like to think that she takes them out every so often to reminisce :]