#And he orders me around
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The urge to make a Whumpee based off of this coworker of mine...
#whump community#whumpblr#Listen#I need all of you to understand how much of an amusing annoyance this man is#This man (we'll call him dan) has been working at my workplace for a few more months then I have (we work hvac)#He is a 1st year apprentice#ie. Not a journeyman#ie. Not in charge#Dan doesn't understand how to people#He'll try and order journeyman who have been working there for years around#And he orders me around#He told me today that I had to be at the shop at 2 so if I was taking lunch I needed to take it before 2 or after the job we had to do#now did it need to be done? Yes#But since when has Dan been signing my paychecks?#I'm just here holding in laughter because really#That's just sloppy#No please no thank you just you are doing this because I said so#The simultaneous urges to laugh at him and hit him with a chair are strong#He just cracks me up#And occasionally fills me with rage#But mostly amuses me
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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Fucking love the final flashback montage in saw VI because the way they edited it makes it look like hoffman is pissing directly on an unconscious erickson's bald head
Ive been cry laugghing for five fucking minutes
#it fucks me up every time WHY DID THEY DO IT LIKE THAT#THE FUEL CAN BLENDS WITH THE RED BACKGROUND YOU CANT SEE IT IN TIME#theres NO WAY absolutely NOBODY in the editing team looked at this and went “um. maybe we should change the order of the clips around a bit#tbh maybe mark shoulve actually pissed on his head when he had the chance. guy really pissed me off#i just realized something about the last tag and came back running to tell you all that the pun was not intended#saw vi#saw#mark hoffman#dan erickson#tw blood
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superboy (1994) #85 (my beloved)
i still think abt this line so much. hey kon? why would u say this? hey kon do you think thats a normal thing to say about your boy bestie? kon why would u say this out loud. kon?!?
#rimi talks#i also rly love the understated intimacy of the fact that he has a power spike in issue 84. scares himself.#and immediately goes to tim about it. and this is so early in their friendship!!! this is before owaw!!!#kon pointed at tim at some point and went thats my stress ball. i squeeze and he goes eep#but also uh. haha hey bro your voice gets so deep when youre ordering me around haha#WHO SAYS THAT TO THEIR FRIENDS KON THATS NOT NROMAL I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ???!???#tim#kon#timkon#cass
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Isn’t Vortex a fucking torture freak tho? 👀👀👀
Yep. He is. He is a lot of things actually. The more you learn about him the more fucked up it gets
#at first I was like#ah yes another crazy helicopter#but then I learned the lore haha#hoo boy#the guy was a criminal and was so good at it#the government had to take his spark out of his body and put it in a freezer so he won't break the law anymore#then Starscream took him out and was like#you and your bros are my minions now#btw I made you unable to recharge on your own so uou are basically my hostages#work for me or starve to death losers#and then also Megatron with his Javascript exercises#Seriously. Megs looked at those criminals who were crazy strong and also crazy smart and decided that enslaving them would be a great idea#He basically reprogrammed Vortex and others. He made him literally unable to disobey his orders#what kind of fucked up thing to do Megsy???#G1 was great ahahahah#silly kids show about war and crimes and slavery#also#I might be wrong here because I haven't watch G1 entirely....but I'm pretty sure Combaticons just fuckin. stay Megatron slaves forever??#Like. The code that Megs put in their heads is never mentioned again? And for the rest of the show they forced to serve the Decepticons???#and everyone just?? Forget about them? I repeat I might be wrong here. It would be great if I'm wrong#also yeah Vortex is a torture freak and totally crazy#I saw a note somewhere that mentioned he likes to transform around other bots and then fly as high as he can and drop them#fucker lol
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HAHHAHA JOKES ON YOU I WON EITHER WAY./j, lh
I love toxic yuri… thanks for blessing us 🧎♂️🧎♂️
!!!!
#YEAHAA TOXIC YURI#i feel like sadie having a ran//ma half thing would b cool.. i basically get to choose what gender he would be#// bc it might show up in the tags#anwy fem sadie would b a he/him lesbian bc i said so#idkk i think i just like ppl who are just masculine in general bc im super femme ? so sadie kinda reflects that#but ehhh i like feminine guys and other femmes too if theyre like........... idk dom?? enough?????#basically if they seem like they can order me around i would be 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 okay whatever u say my liege 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡#ok im rambling whoops#franswers#froodles#sadie#macy#frayocs
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Do you guys ever realise just how small and young Cal was in Fallen Order?!
This guy, at most 17/18 years old, with the HUGEST puppy eyes, was fighting inquisitors and running from the Empire.
It’s CRAZY.
Like imagine you get beaten by this absolute short stack. Outwitted by this teenage dork.
I wouldn’t show my face ever again!
Props to Vader for keeping up his ego after this tiny man broke into his home, stole his holocron doodad and escaped again. WITH HIS LIFE!! And saving Cere’s! And breaking the glass walls of the Fortress!
You got outclassed by a teenage dork whose best friend is a droid and thinks ponchos are the height of fashion. He doesn’t need to beat you in a fight, he just needs to get away and live to tell the tale and he DID.
MASSIVE.
It does make me sad though because look at him, man. He’s so young. Dude still rubs his eyes like a kid when he’s woken up.
He shouldn’t have had to deal with this but he did and he did so well too.
Sometimes I forget how cheerful and impressionable Cal can be in Fallen Order and then I remember. And then I hate Saw even more.
Anyway I have no idea where I was going with this. He’s small. About 3 pancakes high.
#if you think I’m sad about normal Cal you should see me with Padawan Cal!!!#it’s not fair dude he should be doing his homework and playing video games#in another universe Cal doesn’t have to do any of this. he just jets around the galaxy with his adopted family and has fun#I would be a good motherrrrrr 😭#dude needs a lay in and a nerf gun. let him live a normal life I beg#cal kestis#jedi fallen order
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cracks open my coffin lid to show my newest disgusting old person furry
#semi-retired mariner who now works at a dock mostly to order people around#dead fking tired 24/7 . no joy in his life anymore . chain smoker and probably drinker#he secretly also stuffs his face with the seafood his workers catch#to me he's kinda like a mix of the walrus captain from ahit and mr grizz from platoon:)#my art#sea otter#otter#furry#anthro#marine life#old man#fat old man#gay#gay fat old man#he's probably in the same universe as that dead skullface seal mermaid i posted a year ago#i rlly wanna make a fishing game w these chars LOL#molloy
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nick: do you wanna drive or... I'll drive
cole: you know I don't drive dude
#cole 🤝 passenger princess#i know none of the people who follow me care about the habs HOWEVER#the way nick says hell drive before cole even says he doesnt want to#cole wants someone to dote and take care of him luckily for him guess who his friend and captain is !#building his furniture ordering his coffee driving him around...#montreal canadiens#cole caufield#nick suzuki#1413#also sorry if the colouring on this is kind of weird i tried to brighten it a bit bc the original video is soooo washed out#*
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pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
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The coffin lands with a crash, Nandor already out of it gracefully as his vampiric nature grants him.
“Have you survived the fall Guillermo, are you allright?” he asks haughtily and with a barely concealed predatory grin at the yelping heap of limbs and clothes that is Guillermo right now. Of course he was never truly worried for his well being, Guillermo might be human, but he is no regular human, if his van Helsing blood has anything to say about that. Nandor just likes to tease.
“Yes master, im fine, i just wasnt prepa-“
Nandor offers him a hand out of the coffin, the way Guillermo has done so many times before for him. Nandor looks at him curiously, Guillermo looks all flustered right now, hes cute. Hes always cute of course, but damn. He hasn’t even realised the obvious parallel yet, just took his hand absent-mindedly as he was rambling about something. His hair is all mussed up too. Cute.
Probably the moment registers into Guillermo’s mind as Nandor hears his muttering protests suddenly cut short. He’s looking at their gingerly intertwined hands and kinda looks like hes about to swallow a frog, or maybe like he’s about to start crying again. This fucking guy. Always a theatrics with him. But Nandor has learned to lean into his little guy’s moods. He leaves him to his maybe horny maybe emotional thoughts and finishes helping him out of the coffin.
The air is thick between them now. He can sort of hear Guillermo’s heartbeat from this distance, the little guy probably has a concert thumping in his ears right now. Nandor enjoys playing with his food, always has, and today is no different. He takes a step closer. Guillermo takes an infinitesimal step back. There is a wall very close to his back. Right where Nandor wanted him.
“You know as i was saying about the cameras, Guillermo…” he starts feign-casual as he very not casually hovers over him, black eyes boring into him with the fire that only very rarely comes out in front of the crew. Guillermo looks like he’s a mixture between disbelieving and like he’s gonna pass out from hyperventilation at a moments notice. It’s an endearing mix.
“Y-yes, you -were saying something about your hair…” Guillermo couldn’t physically look away from Nandor if his life depended on it right now.
“And other reasons”, very seriously.
“- Yeah”, an exhale.
Just look at his eager little eyes. Should he put the guy out of his misery? Well come to think of it, should he put himself out of his own misery? He’s been in love with the guy for the better part of a decade now. Of course he’s not about to say that now. Let him play the part of suave vampire for his Guillermo, let him fullfill any fantasy he’s ever had, at the very least this very first time they do this dance. There will be time for the mushy stuff later. Come to think of it, what is Nandor doing?? Acting on years of pent up sexual and romantic tension, of course, but what is he setting himself up to? Heartbreak.
Violent, earth shattering heartbreak. Maybe not today, maybe not in 10 years, but soon. Soon to a vampire anyway. No- you don’t know that. If Guillermo loves me, he might find a way to not leave me like he always does. He always does leave. But then he also always comes back. Doesn’t he? Nandor loses himself in these thoughts for a moment, and Guillermo seems to notice his mind is suddenly somewhere else.
Oh, to be known so completely. Oh, to have a worthy partner, a partner who knows everything about you, a Lazlo to your Nadja, a Charmaine to your Sean, a Sire to your Baron. And to have to lose it in a matter of years. Just his luck. But also like Colin Robinson said, dont be sad cause its over, smile cause it happened.
Nandor’s eyes keep searching Guillermo’s as he draws closer and closer, eyes intensely registering every microexpression on his beloved’s face, the little crinkle between his brows and the small nervous smile that’s forming around his lips. His hands land seamlessly and delicately on either side of Guillermo’s face, and he feels his breath hitch. He really doesn’t give a flying fuck if he’s gonna suffer for a thousand years, Guillermo is here right now and he looks like he’s gonna break under his touch. One hand goes to cradle his head, thumb delicately swiping over Guillermo’s ear and pulse point, as Nandor brings their noses together and they breathe the same air for a moment. The other hand is held gently across his cheek, just there, a reassuring weight. “I’m going to kiss you now”.
And Nandor kisses him.
#ive never written as much as a paragraph all my life. english aint even my first language#and wwdits out here making me write fanfic bc of their damn open endings FUCK and im sorry if this reads horribly#i was just /imagining/#i write from nandors pov bc i am him and also bc hes way too much fun#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#fanfic#i guess???#does this qualify as fix it fic? lmao#nandermo fanfic#nandermo fic#wwdits spoilers#wwdits finale#*#mine*#some messy liveblog tag#again sorry about my shitty writing lmao but this has everything i love about them#of course i couldnt get much further from my initial idea; but once nandor kisses guillermo- he starts rambling about how much he loves him#of course. he could never kiss guillermo and not tell him hes got his heart and his soul lmao#after that - and after a good amount of kissing - guillermo is emboldened and gets all dommy and nandor fucking cries with glee#his dream come true dom guillermo is ordering him around and he wants to suck that dick so damn bad#he also sucks his neck a lot. maybe he will get ideas about nandor turning him into a vampire again#as they fuck there is also a bit of blood play of course. a bit of biting a bit of sucking blood its whatever#they may fuck that very evening or maybe another time- who knows#anyway. im sorry
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starbee comic,,, if u get the reference then u understand a pivotal part of how i see their dynamic
Bee x scream is like if that one rlly bubbly & makes herself seem ditzy and cute girl to everyone to have friends who'll dump her the moment they get a bf & she's probably on the spectrum but no one notices or cares to delve deeper into her bcs she's so 'cute' & smiles & masks to be liked ( bcs she doesnt want anyone to delve deeper into her personality & realize shes actually Not perfect miss lil daddys girl purity ring ) was forced to be stuck with The Bitchtm intimidating weird girl who's also undiagnosed but everyone knows there's Something with her & treated her differently in a way they Think is discreet but She Knows & no matter how hard she tries, everyone's gonna have this Undertone with her so she's just given up on trying to seem pleasant to everyone but still desperately wants to be loved & has a slight clue as to why ppl keep hating her even when she tries for them not to for once but still can't get an answer bcs her life sucks and diagnosis is expensive and she has no time and she's - omg why is this bitch (bee) making her notes all cute with big colorful fonts & organized by alphabetical shade marker collection haha she's so weird (<- is Also weird bcs hes starscream). im gonna ask to borrow one of her favorite markers (the baby blue one) and dry it out while she stares at me with big wet eyes trying to find a polite way to put 'im gonna kill you' in a sentence
#bee instantly introduces himself to a new person bcs hes thrilled at the idea of molding his own perfect image in#a clueless person's mind and purposefully hangs out with ppl who are worse off than him so he can focus#on helping their problems rather than focusing on his own & also it helps him feel like a Good Mech#bcs hes just SO NICE. RIGHT ?#meanwhile star instantly introduces himself as a powerful bitch rather than a helping hand#so ppl know to back tf off and respect order and if they dont respect order than at least theyll try not to hang around#but he also hangs around worse ppl to feel better abt himself except it's not a secret but what Is secret is how he#wishes he didnt always have to scare off nice ppl bcs hes sxared of breaking their sparks bcs it'll inevitably happen bcs hes Starscream#idk tho maybe im insane#bag u a bitch that say yepperooni#bumblebee#starscream#im like insane abt these two but like in an insane not quirky im so different way but like the wtf made u think that#way that i cant explain normally bcs im not normal abt them#starbee#transformers#maccadam#transformers idw#tf idw#need moots that love starbee like im not used to being in big fandoms.. im used to tightknit lil followers who all reblog the same 5 posts#bcs theyre all insane abt it & wanna have a conversation like i love funny tags over 100+ likes any day#pls dont be afraid to yap in tags comments or asks like i love yapp look at me I LOOOVEEE YAPPPP
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Phinks and treating the person he just freshly kidnapped and brought into his house (you) like some animal that just wandered in that he’s trying to placate so it doesn’t start destroying his furniture
#aka he has no idea what to do with you in the beginning#I do like the dynamic where him and reader are both vaguely scared of each other but for very different reasons#him being like ‘oh god I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird. I’m sure we’ll get past this though’#vs reader being all ‘oh my god get me the fuck out of here right now’#he’s used to being aggressive with others and he can’t bring himself to order you around so he just feels kind of awkward#poor guy has a resting bitch face too which isn’t helping#yandere hxh
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several funny things about this number one obviously being Utena’s use of male pronouns for herself “I (boy) am a TOTALLY NORMAL GIRL” but also unfortunately this is sooooo funny of Touga
#grace rewatches rgu#revolutionary girl utena#will this rewatch actually have me being more sympathetic to Touga… insane#he is amusing me a lot more this time around#like he is being a creep in this scene but now that I don’t have to like. pour every ounce of myself into hating the men in this show#in order to prove that I’m not one of THOSE straight fans of Utena (I was sixteen)#I’m able to take him much more seriously as a character#let’s see!!
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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this man has no fucking right to be THIS beautiful… jinshi my LOVE.
#jinshi my BELOVED… god he makes me so. insane#i say that a lot but he really makes me Clinically Unwell i just love him so so so so so so so much#him & maomao <3 my favs of all time <3 the only people EVER#i NEED to order all the apothecary diaries manga/light novels STAT#ALSO THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK TO THE ANIME??? THE NEW EPISODE TODAY???#BEST ANIME SERIES EVER I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY JOKING.#the song that was used when jinshi carried maomao out after she saved his life… i teared up & got LITERAL chills holy FUCK#let me order the books rn actually like ’m not playing around#the apothecary diaries#jinshi#personal
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