#he secretly also stuffs his face with the seafood his workers catch

[unsanctitude]

cracks open my coffin lid to show my newest disgusting old person furry

[romancingromanoff]

What Happens At Disney.... Part 2/3

youHe: 

Just a bunch of Disneyworld fluff! Also more one-on-one time with Nat in this one; you get a makeover and her and Ariel compete for best redhead.  

Part 1 here//Part 3 here

Tony coughed, “So now what?” The rest of the crew is standing around awkwardly in what Cap calls their “civilian clothes.” He’s sporting a plain white tee and a blue baseball cap (of course, because America) while Tony has opted for a more business casual look with a fancy short sleeved collared shirt and a tie. That’s about as casual as he gets but you just hope that he can try and relax and have fun today. There’s nothing that Thor could wear that wouldn’t make him look like a super granola California surfer guy. His man bun is attracting a lot of female attention, but then again, you suppose that that happens most of the time anyway. Bruce, of course, manages to look awkward in whatever clothing he’s wearing. He has a lot of purple shirts but he’s decided to go with the one you got him for Christmas with a small pocket over his left breast that you told him was where he was supposed to put his matching pen you also had made. You think it’s sweet that he’s wearing it today. Clint is also wearing some shorts and a tee along with some actual worn in sneakers; he probably blends in the most with the crowd.

Then there’s Nat- your girlfriend. She could pull off anything of course but today she’s just wearing some shorts, a black tank, and some combat boots. She’s quite the opposite of yourself in terms of the color palette she prefers but you secretly love that her neutral-toned basic pieces allow her red hair to shine and frame your favorite part about her- her face and those green eyes. Her hands are casually in her front pockets and she would almost seem relaxed if not for the fact that she was perpetually scanning the area around her and moving her eyes around to check for potential threats wherever she goes. You sigh and grab one of her hands into your own and pull her towards one of the stores and motion for everyone else to follow behind you.

“Well, me and Nat are going to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique so can you boys wait for us nearby? Thor, I think they sell giant turkey legs at that stand over there,” you see his face perk up at the mention of huge slabs of meat and he’s gone before you can blink.

“Aw, c’mon Thor! You can’t just push the kids out of the way like that!” Bruce groans and goes after him followed by Clint, Steve (who has entered reluctant babysitter mode) and Tony because apparently he just coincidentally wants to “go in that vague direction.”

“Okay, but I am not allowing them to touch my hair,” Natasha warns and you just give her a peck on her cheek before dragging her into the store. It’s like what you imagine Princess Jasmine’s salon is actually like as there are golden chandeliers, giant mirrors, and long silky curtains and drapes of all different colors decorating the giant space. Two of the stylists greet you with great big smiles and start giving you information on all of the different packages they offer.

“Of course not,” you smile. “Remember, this is my makeover, buddy. And I don’t want you stealing away my thunder anyway when you’re already a billion times prettier than me.”

“Get in the chair, you dork,” she snorts as you take a seat in the styling chair and the ladies begin their work. You decide to go with some simple makeup (just a little bit of blush, neutral eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, some lipgloss in the shade that Aurora wears, and light mascara with only a tiny bit of sparkly highlighter) and a giant Elsa-braid.  

“Oooh, help me pick out the perfect ears!” you squeal dragging Nat over to a wall of an assortment of glittery Minnie Mouse ears next. A pair of sparkly white ones with a red bow catches you eye which Nat notices and she reaches up to grab them for you.

“If I have any input, I’d like to see wearing these in the bedroom,” she says in that sultry voice as your face blushes and she slips them onto you.

“Shush, Nat, this is a public place with little kids,” you swat at her but can’t help but catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you tilt your head modeling them off for her as she smiles watching. “But I do look really good in these,” you admit. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff,” you say to her in a lowered voice and pray that the store is busy enough that no one can hear your private conversation over all of the noise. She just gives you a grin which tells you she’s up to no good and pulls out her phone to show you a pair of very expensive, but stunning cat ears from a website you personally would have been afraid to visit off of private browsing mode.

“I don’t know, maybe playing cat and mouse could be kinda fun,” she says suggestively and you give her a quick kiss on her lips.

“Hey, don’t make me mess up my lipstick,” you warn with a laugh.

“Not until we get home, I promise.”

You meet with the boys just in time to stop Thor from consuming half of all of the turkey legs this poor vendor has and Tony suggests that you all go on a ride.

“How about the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train?” you suggest. “You know, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?”

“I understood that reference,” Steve’s got this huge smile on his face when you mention what was one of the only Disney animated films that came out pre-WWII. 

“Well, apparently the ride is just as old as you Capsicle,” Tony mocks him and pulls up his phone which he has on a website that shows all of the times you have to wait in line for a ride. “Because the train broke down while the dwarfs must have been hi-hoing to work.”

You can’t help but get a bit sad and your sulk a little bit before Nat gently rubs your arm and shoots Tony an angry glare. “Buuuuuuuut,” he begins obviously intimidated by Romanoff. “Luckily, I am an engineering genius so I’ll see what I can do to fix it.”

Perhaps the only perk of having a super egotistical genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist for a friend is that they never take “no” for an answer and can talk their way into pretty much anything when you need a favor from them. The seven of you eventually found your way to the control room which was underground in the infamous tunnels that only workers were allowed to see. 

“I don’t know, Tony, I get kind of claustrophobic and being underground probably isn’t good for my stress,” Bruce worries as Tony is nagging him to help him with the tools. 

“Hey, it’s the happiest place on earth, so get the hell in here,” he says and you hear Bruce groan. You, Clint, Nat, and Steve just decide to awkwardly wait outside while they’re arguing over mechanics and Tony is criticizing the Mouse for “not having adept technicians” when you decide you’d rather go explore around the corner and at least look for a bathroom. You excuse yourself and head into the labyrinth that is Disney’s Underground Maze and can’t help but stare at all of the half-human half-animal creatures you run into. There’s Chip & Dale without their costume heads on so it just looks like two normal guys’ heads floating on top of the bodies of some obese chipmunks, the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland is standing in a corner cursing out his girlfriend over the phone, and someone else with Tigger’s head and a woman’s body almost bumps into you. That’s when you stumble upon what looks like another dressing room and you peak in to find that it’s full of all of the Princess character-actors putting on their makeup and wigs.

“Oh my God, you’re Y/N!” a super perky voice catches you by surprise and you almost trip over yourself before the owner of that voice manages to catch you. She’s wearing the most magnificent mint green ball gown which is sleeveless. You know it’s a wig, but she’s got the most voluptuous red curls that frame her kind face so nicely that you can’t help but stutter as she smiles at you. After all, you’ve always had a thing for redheads and though she’s a little too bubbly for your taste, you have to admit that she’s very beautiful.  “Wow, it is so cool to meet you!” Princess Ariel exclaims before she starts complimenting you on all of the work you do. “I’m such a huge fan of yours!”

“Thank you very much, it’s nice to run into someone that thinks so,” you say. “And I’m such a big fan of your’s, I mean, of Ariel’s since I guess you are her.. or.. are you? Um, what should I call you?” you feel so embarrassed tripping over your own words confused about what the rules are for breaking out of character but she just laughs it off. You had no idea that the employees here could be so nice.

“I’m off the clock right now so you can call me Stella,” she winks and you try to play it off like you totally know what’s going on. “How long are you going to be here in Orlando?”

“A couple of days. I really want to visit all of the different parks.”

“Well,” she reaches into the dressing room and grabs what looks like a sticky note and a Mickey Mouse pen. “Let me know if you’d like someone to show you around, you know, after hours. I can give you the secret tour; get us a dinner reservation somewhere nice,” she winks at you again and then you finally catch on to what she means after she hands you the note which you see has a phone number on it. 

“Oh, uh-”

“Thanks, but my girlfriend knows I won’t kiss her if she’s been eating seafood,” you whip around to see Natasha standing there looking like she’s death itself about ready to take this poor girl away to hell. 

“I, uh, I gotta go,” Stella hurries into the dressing room closing the door after her and you’re left with an angry assassin with her arms crossed just waiting for an explanation.

“Natasha, I swear, I had no idea she was flirting with me.”

“I know. That’s exactly how she took advantage of you,” she almost darts into the room but you block the door before she can go kill anybody.

“Hey, she was not taking advantage of me,” you retort. 

“I saw how you were mesmerized by her hair and that stupid starfish clip.”

“It’s a wig, Natasha. You know I like my women to be naturally redheaded... even if they get a little green sometimes,” you playfully push her understandingly taking her two hands into yours and pulling her closer. “I only have eyes for you,” you whisper and she rolls her eyes trying to resist the puppy  eyes you’re giving her.

“Okay, but if she flirts with you again then I’m ripping that wig right off.”

Natasha won’t let go of your hand as you find your way back to Tony and Bruce who have finally finished repairing the ride. Coming back up above ground, the sun’s glare kind of blinds all of you and you notice Clint looks especially bothered.

“Hey, save that perfect hawk-vision of yours,” you pull out a pair of sunglasses from your bag and offer them to him.

“Thanks,” he says slipping them on over his squinting eyes before Thor, Tony, and Nat erupt in laughter. Clint just stands there confused for a second as his eyes readjust just before he realizes that the sunglasses you’ve given him are from the Pixie Hollow collection and are bright pink with tons of sequins all over the winged-shaped frames.

“You know what? My eyesight needs protection more than my masculinity, which I am completely comfortable with, so you guys can just go blind. Have fun staring at the sun,” he proclaims trying to block out the sounds of Tony struggling to breath from laughing too much and Thor’s giant belly laughs.

“Hey! I will expose you!” he threatens. “Security! Security?! Yeah, this guy has a giant weapon on him! Yup, the hammer guy? That's him. He’s right here.”

Thor turns around so fast with his hammer up to Clint’s chin. “You be silent right this instant, Barton, or else I shall smash you fairy princess glasses with my hammer right here and now.”

“No! Those are mine!” you scream as Natasha just keeps recording everything happening on her phone. 

To be continued...