#All Kinds Of Smart

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[noodles-and-tea]

For the twins in time AU, I genuinely wonder what kind of people the young twins grow up into because of Stan’s/Ford’s influence. Especially if it takes years for the portal to get fixed.

(Sorry if it seems like I already sent this question, I don’t know if it got sent the first time I asked)

I haven’t fully fleshed out how Ford grows up in the past but I do have thoughts on Stan presently

[frascospecimen]

Please hold transgender women dear in your heart this international women’s day. Love and respect the trans women around you please.

[luna-loveboop]

I find it funny that Wild, who has basically a couple years ish of full life experience, comes up with the most insane theories for everything

He assumed that the only other explanation to Four being able to split in Four was. That he was quadruplets who'd been hiding this whole time???

Also apparently he believed that his wolf companion Twilight in botw was a diety (and felt very uhh shocked upon finding out that he was not)

Malon made things worse, telling him about her aliens theory

What's even FUNNIER is that every time Wild expresses any sort of confusion at magic stuff that he's never seen before, everyone else in the chain acts like it's crazy for him to be weirded out by it

Honestly maybe Wild's the only one with his head on straight, rather than everyone else who are just like 'it's magic bro' like no he's right this is weird

I appreciate this because it's very considerate of the fact that he woke up with no memories not too long ago, so he doesn't have much experience to explain the stuff that's 'normal' for the chain. Plus the explanations he comes up with are funny.

:)

.

Art and comic and adorable character by Jojo @linkeduniverse au :D

[notfeelingthyaster]

idk but tim's skills both in comics and in fanon are so inconsistent. like wdym he can fight azrael and ra's and lady shiva and he loses fights to... damian? like ok damian is a good fighter, trained by assassins and whatnot but it makes no sense, bc he wouldn't win against shiva

or like tim barely being able to hold out against jason both times he attacks him seriously (battle for the cowl and titan's tower).... but winning against all sort of weird ass shit in young justice?

im not even talking about how his intellect is all over the place, one day he is lying to batman and fooling doomsday and the other he is truly getting trapped/fooled by shitty ass villains like Calendar Man

[transmechanicus]

1000 years of love for transmascs. And after that, 1000 more forever and ever.

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[thestalkerbunny]

He needs to know so he can modify his own robot dick to make it bigger than yours.

[thisonelikesaliens]

An appreciation post for the Unknown fandom:

To the gifmakers: thank you for putting in the time and effort to create such beautiful gifs that help me relive my favorite moments of the show.

To the big brains: thank you for the in-depth analyses in body language/color theory/cinematography/character development and other areas that I typically overlook. Your eye for detail and ability to connect those details into poetic eloquence have made me appreciate the show even more. (This includes those of you who write essays in tags, just dropping insightful gems like it's no big deal. I see you and appreciate you.)

Thank you all for making the past 2 months such an enjoyable experience.

[goated33]

Seeing people’s posts on here definitely gave me new perspectives on chaggie. Now I can’t get over how Vaggie and Charlie’s first meeting was shaped by kindness (Vaggie just having been brutalized and cast out for sparing a child, Charlie running around trying to find people to help and immediately going to bandage Vaggie’s eye, Vaggie maybe being the first person to react to Charlie’s help with a smile instead of fear and suspicion.)

[sygzie]

the doomsday "and the baby" is so silly and messy because rose tyler knew precisely what the fuck she was doing. the doctor, through all his facades, was yearning for not only rose but a family with her the whole damn time and that might not even be something he fully admitted to himself. but rose knew that he loved her, and she knew why he wasn't saying it and wanted him to say it anyway, and she knew what impossible things that he, like her, might want deep deep down. and so in this last little precious convo, she prods him just a bit, amused, a tiny moment to jab him in the place where he has been hurting her, to remind him that yes, she knows, (you little bitch), are you going to say something now? and she could be so mad and resentful of the way he kept her around without even the respect of admitting what he wants. but she's not, because she’s rose, instead she smiles as she lets him tweak for just one second and then relieves him from his horrors by dropping the joke and letting the moment pass. no, it's mum's, but it would have been fucked if it were mine, right. that would have really gotten you, right, would have really messed with both of us. i guess this is the end, and i guess we only made it this far, but yeah, i do know, you're a shitty liar, i love you too.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Some LU incorrect quotes for you:

Time: I have two moods

Time: Disappointment and Disappointed

__

Warrior: WHO STOLE MY MONEY

Wind: see for both of our sakes, I legally can not disclose that information.

Warrior: *pulls out a can of Grandma’s Soup* I guess I’ll have this all to myself then…

Wind: The counsel has spoken, I can disclose the confidential information that the money may have accidentally slipped into my hands.

__

Wild, concussed: So you see… Some may call it a mistake…

Wild, still concussed: I call it a happy accident

Hyrule, attempting to fix the head wound: I can tell you right now that this isn’t happy for neither of us.

__

Younger Twilight, playing hide and seek: Where should I hide… *spots a well*

Twilight: *jumps in well*

—one hour later—

Uli, getting water from the well: Why is this so heavy?

A soaked Twilight, in the bucket: ‘ITS ’BOUT TIME YA FOUND ME

I have no notes. These are all hilarious. Thank you for sharing.

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Never not thinking about leela being one of the smartest and most competent people in a room full of time lords who think she’s useless because she’s human

[jabberwockprince]

"She's not red and certainly no queen, but that doesn't matter. It really doesn't."

something about baby blue (baby red....) losing all of her otherwordly charm when she's actually lucid, something about baby blue acting as wonderland's tyrant, replacing the figure of the red queen. something about the dichotomy between alice and the queen of hearts being part of baby blue

[muffinlance]

I really do love your writing and Salvage gets me through when I am sad or depressed. However, I was wondering, how do you cope when someone who wrote a review didn’t like your writing? If you’ve had this before… I had one today and I am dejected. I’m working through my perfectionism and I keep telling myself, “my writing isn’t for everyone and it’s okay.” Any advice?

If it was unsolicited, especially on a fanfic? Delete it, block the person if you feel like, then go do your rage activity of choice before forgetting about it forever. That person is rude and doesn't deserve your time anymore than someone bumping into you on the street.

I've also found it useful to actively think of my fanfic as writing practice, and not even my brain expects perfection from writing practice. It also frees you do Try Cool Things.

Now take this digital blanket and cup of hot chocolate and go reread your nice comments.