#tyler seriously made him so human and kind and he acted so seriously well

[unrealisticallyyours]

obligatory TW rewatch scott appreciation post bc he's so interesting and fun as a character

i genuinely adore how the writers gave scott such a loving personality? like his first instinct when he meets allison is to give her a pen because he heard that she needed one. he tags along with stiles ep 1 because stiles wanted to see the body (why would an asthmatic with school in the morning want to go traipsing out into the wilderness to see a dead body??). throughout the series he takes in strays (lol) even if they've ACTIVELY TRIED TO KILL HIM in the past. and the part that i love the most is how the writers gave him room to be a bad person, too. they gave him moments where he was a bad friend, a bad boyfriend. but they didn't make those moments ones that outshone his real personality. they were treated like moments he grew from and made him into an even kinder person.

scott doesn't get the love he deserves imo he's such a well written character and someone i strive to emulate

[kiss-my-freckle]

Damon in S3 is different from Damon in S1.

He grown to express and show emotions and one can feel those emotions because he doesn't like it when people see him feel so when he does, it's very REAL especially that scene with Elena when he promised not to leave her again in 3x5

And the one in 3x10 when he tell Elena to look at him and him. As Damon is a character that have problems with his emotions and dealing with them .

And the scene when him and Alaric talks about Stefan's humanity...dimmer switch . Talks about Damon caring who lives and dies. 😂

How do you differentiate Damon in S1 with Damon in S3 and the changes he made?

Damon is so very heartbroken in 3x5. He blamed himself for Elena's assault because he wasn't there when she needed him, and he would've been had they not fought. That's when he realized he had to continue bettering himself or risk losing her. He knows Elena only survived Stefan because Klaus needed her blood.

Damon doesn't have just one issue, he has multiple, so he has an as-you-go kind of journey. His changes start in season one, trust being his first. He's been relying on himself for most of their existence because people have done nothing but betray him. His feelings about Mystic Falls changes. He doesn't just call it home, it feels like home, so he has every intention of protecting it. He doesn't work well with others, but that starts to change as he starts building his friendship with Alaric. After 2x1, Katherine's power over him shifts to Elena, and he takes what I'd term a quest of self-discovery. He's trying to figure out who he is without Katherine. He starts his investigation into the Lockwoods because he takes his role on the council very seriously. it's no longer just self preservation for him, but very much who he is.

In season two, he and Bonnie start to build their friendship. He most certainly could've killed Matt and no one would've known, but he chose not to. Matt knowing vampires exist requires a certain level of trust for Damon, and he let him go with that knowledge. He doesn't save Tyler because he wants to, he saves Tyler for Caroline. He nearly dies for her and Elena. As far as I'm concerned, he's done turning humans into vampires. He uses Andie as a sounding board as much as a distraction from Elena. After their conversation in the bathtub, he basically splits in two... trying to play both human and vampire.

Season three is very huge for him because he has to own his big brother role. There's no playing around when it comes to saving his little brother, so he has no choice but act responsibly. 1864 Damon moments at the same time she's getting the Ripper.

[therealvinelle]

in the “everyone is in love with Bella” scenario, what about the wolves? Wouldn’t it be really fucked up for Sam to fall in love with her? Would it make the wolves try to redefine imprinting? how would Leah react to the whole situation?

Anon is referring to this post. For the record, I didn't get into them in the post because the plot would veer so far off-course in Twilight that Edward never leaves and Victoria never becomes a threat to Bella, meaning Bella and Jake don't get close and she doesn't need their protection.

But, let's do this.

First encounter

Bella arrives in Forks, and Billy and Jacob are there to hand over the pickup.

Boom.

They fall in love.

Jacob, having never had a real crush before nevermind something so powerful as falling in love, is overwhelmed by these new feelings. He blushes and flushes and stutters, and fails to say anything reasonable or even intelligble to Bella. Too mortified to function, he decides to hide in La Push until the embarrassment fades. Which very well could be never.

Billy, meanwhile, is unable to cope. He just fell in love with Charlie's daughter. Charlie's 17-year-old daughter who used to make mud cakes with Billy's daughters.

This is bad.

This, to a good man like Billy, is unforgivably bad.

He goes from being Charlie's best friend to suddenly being very distant, not wanting to ever cross paths with Bella again.

But, you asked about the wolves, not just Jake and Billy, so let's take this scenario further.

Bella's friends, all of whom are hopelessly in love with her, drag her to La Push

Jessica, Lauren, Mike, Angela, Tyler, Eric, Ben, the whole gang, they're all going to La Push for the weekend.

And it just won't be the same without Bella. She's just so great, you know?

Everyone looks at each other and nods. Yeah, it's just not fun without Bella. Bella's great, someone should invite her.

They all invite her, one by one, all of them with wide, adoring eyes. "It would be so amazing if you came, Bella," Jessica says dreamily, twirling a lock of Bella's hair around her fingers. "Your hair is really pretty," she giggles.

Angela and Ben are each blushing too hard to really say anything to Bella, so they end up running away from her. Bella is left feeling like some kind of freak. She later receives two notes in class, one from each, begging her in cramped writing to come to La Push. Yeah, not helping her feel like less of a freak.

Mike, Eric, Tyler, and Lauren all corner her, each worse than the last.

By the end of the schoolday Bella doesn't know what's going to happen at La Push but she does know that she doesn't want to go.

She complains about this to the Cullens (remember, her and Edward became an item much earlier in this timeline), and they all fawn and coo over her and act like she just went through a warzone. If she wants to go to the beach, she could try Isle Esme Bella. Would she like that, an island vacation? Or an island?

Bella is pulled out of school for a romantic two-week totally-not-a-honeymoon.

La Push never happens.

But surely Bella and the wolves must meet at some point

Billy catches wind that Bella Swan is dating Edward Cullen. As in, the girl he has fallen so deeply in love with is now being preyed upon by a blood-sucking demon.

Billy's own sense of propriety or honor be damned, he has to save this girl's life.

He tries to speak to her, just as in canon, but just as in canon this goes poorly. Bella is a savvy 17-year-old who doesn't need no warning, and besides, the Cullens are all so sweet. They're like hobbits, really, obviously she's not in any danger. She tells Billy as much. Vampires are lovely, does he know they gave her an island?

(Billy did not know this, and yes, that's weird. Doesn't mean they're not evil, though.)

Billy gets nowhere with his would-be intervention.

Time to bring in the big guns.

Sam phases around this time, and imprints on Emily. Break-ups with Leah, maulings, and tragic lovestories all around are had.

It is around this time that Billy brings Sam up to speed on the Bella situation, although leaving out the part where he's hopelessly in love with the girl because that would not be received well. Could Sam go speak with her about this, see if maybe she will take his warning seriously? The situation is dire.

Sure, Sam can do that. No one wants a human girl to get eaten or turned, after all.

Sam goes to see Bella.

And promptly falls in love just as he did Emily.

Emily, who is currently in the hospital from Sam mauling her, which happened specifically because Sam had imprinted.

It's official, Sam thinks, he's the greatest scumbag there ever was.

The Emily and Leah situation was awful enough as it was, breaking all three of their hearts and causing irreparable damage both physically and mentally. Sam wronged them both colossaly, and he can never amend that.

But he imprinted. He wasn't just being a douchebag, actual magic made him do it.

Now, though...

Either Sam imprinted on multiple people, in which case his happy ending is now polygamy. And how would that be a happy ending for Emily and Bella?

Or, possibly even more terrifying yet, he didn't imprint on either woman.

Breaking up with Leah, mauling Emily, making Emily fall in love with him after that and ruining her relationship with her cousin, in short putting these women through hell, all of it- it was for nothing. Sam's just a horndog who sees supernatural intervention where there's really just hormones.

Why couldn't he just have imprinted on Leah?

Sam can't go on a sabbatical to figure this out, his tribe needs him. So he takes to living in the woods alone, where he is alone, to try and figure this out.

But it gets more painful yet, because he can't just disappear on Emily.

So, he tells her. He owes her that much. And it's not goodbye forever, either, just- goodbye until he can figure out how to be the man she deserves. A man anybody deserves, really, because right now Sam's not it.

Emily has no idea what to make of any of this, but she knows her heart is broken.

She has to see this woman all of this is about.

Naturally, she falls in love as well.

The plot thickens

The next time Sam drops by, Emily gives him the news. They're both in love with Bella now.

Sam no longer knows what to make of anything.

Is the universe trying to tell them to form a polycule?

Nothing like that has ever happened before, but not much is known about imprinting. There's a first time for everything..?

At this point they're both giving themselves headaches trying to figure this out. It's a mess.

More, Bella hasn't even met either of them. Sam and Emily can't just walk up to her and say "Hi, be our wife".

Or can they?

If Emily fell in love at first sight, maybe it'll work in reverse. Maybe Bella just has to look upon them, and she'll fall in love.

Sam is dubious, but at this point let's just do this. Let's just do this, see what happens.

They walk up to Charlie's to deliver some of Harry's fish fry. Bella opens the door.

"HIIIII" Emily says, trying to act normal.

Sam's not saying anything.

"Hi," Bella says back, nonplussed, and looks at the bag Emily is clutching with white-knuckled fists.

All three of them are silent.

Bella is starting to wonder if there's something with the town water supply. She is also wondering if these people are planning to say anything, or if they just really enjoy knocking on doors and saying hi to people. Is there something Bella should be doing?

Eventually she clears er throat and asks if there's anything she can do for them.

Sam and Emily glance at each other. Bella's not looking starstruck with love, but she's not acting normal either. Who stands in a doorway and stares at people for almost a minute before talking?

It's inconclusive.

Emily hands over the fish fry. "From Harry," she says, and introduces herself.

Bella nods, remembering Charlie's friend who all but ran out of the door when he saw her and hasn't been fishing with Charlie since. None of Charlie's friends have. Charlie is going nuts. Maybe she should try hooking him up with Carlisle, vampires are lovely, they'd get along so well.

Bella, noting Emily and Sam aren't saying anything else, says bye and moves to close the door.

"Wait!" Sam yells, at the same time as Emily rips a piece of paper from her pocket, and sticks it into Bella's hand.

Bella looks down on it. It's two phone numbers.

She looks back up at Sam and Emily, who by now feel quite certain that this girl hasn't fallen in love with them and that this is the most humiliating moment of both their lives.

Just in case, though...

"Call us," Emily says flirtatiously, winks, and runs away.

Sam follows.

Bella never calls them back, and they never speak of this again.

A few months later, Leah who’d been shopping in Forks happily tells Sam and Emily that she's fallen in love with a girl, she lives in Forks, she's amazing, her name is Bella Swan.

"I took one look at her, and I knew," Leah says dreamily.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I dont even know the character but if your Donna rants are as amusing as your Dumbledore rants, then Id love to hear them

Your kindness is much appreciated, anon. Honestly, Donna Paulsen isn't nearly on the level of someone like Albus Dumbledore. She would probably hate him. Hard to say, given how different their worlds are. Still, there are many different ways for a character to frustrate the audience. Donna isn't a horrible person. She's just...very annoying.

The main issue is that she is one of those characters that the show simply refuses to call out on her nonsense. In fact, it really, really wants you to like her, and attempts to portray her as this flawless superhero, this total badass...and it does this mostly through her own mouth. Half of her lines are just her stating that she's "awesome" usually because she figures things out or already knows things about other people. She always acts like she knows everything and tells other people what's right and wrong. So it's sort of like BBC's Sherlock in that sense. This would already be something that could get old after a while, but what truly kills Donna's likeability is how she totally doesn't actually meet that standard, like, at all. She massively fucks up all the time. At least once per season. It would be one thing if she grew from these incidents, or her portrayal changed because of them. But this doesn't happen. Every time, the show either A) treats her as the victim, B) tries to argue that she was right, or C) goes with the interpretation that yes, she was wrong, but it's a one time thing, and shouldn't be held against her with all of the good that she's done. Seriously, the line "One mistake in thirteen years." Comes up in Season 7 and I have to say...really?

In Season 1, she goes behind Harvey's back on the Cameron Dennis case, a betrayal that upsets him so much that he considers firing her. All she says in response is "You're welcome." In Season 2, she shreds that document and gets fired for it. She never accepts responsibility for this and to the end, keeps insisting that she did it for Harvey. In Season 3...eh, I'll give her a pass on the whole Stephen thing. He fooled everyone. But Season 4, oh boy. The Liberty Rail fiasco is one of her worst outings, especially considering that at the end of it all, Harvey got her out of it...and then she left him and went to work for Louis. And all because *checks clipboard* he wasn't sure if wanted to be more than friends? She literally just hires herself back as Harvey's secretary when Mike gets caught. "You saying you're coming back to me?" Uh Harvey, you do realize that you get a say in that? In Season 6, she has the whole "The Donna" storyline, which is...probably the worst arc on the show. It is just so beyond pointless. It reeks of seasonal rot. In Season 7, she gets herself appointed C.O.O. by using reverse psychology and asking for a Partnership she knows she can't have, and causing all kinds of drama...instead of just, y'know, asking. Then she kisses Harvey while he's dating Paula. And has the nerve to criticize how he reacts, and the choices he's made in his relationship. In Season 8, she breaks privilege for personal, selfish reasons...and gets away scot free. Harvey doesn't even care that she betrayed him at this point, he just minds that she "lost faith in him." And this? This is what ultimately gets them together? Please.

I stopped caring about Harvey and Donna's "will they/won't they" in Season 5. It was definitely the season that gave them the most development, before hitting the damn reset button by having Donna hire herself back. Because every "will they/won't they" ends the same way - yes, they will, in the last few episodes or the finale. Harvey and Donna's relationship in Season 9 was wholesome, sure. But it was too little, too late. In general, Donna has a lot of issues about her contributions to the firm. She feels unappreciated, clearly, because half of her lines are just her demanding other people (usually Harvey) recognize what she's done. Even after she found out that he paid her salary and even gave her raises that no other secretary got. There's definitely something to be said about Donna being led to believe she was more important than she is. That clearly affected her and they could have done something interesting if they explored it more. But I think all of the examples I provided are proof that she can be selfish. She loves to dig in her heels and insist that she's put Harvey first again and again for years. Trouble is...I can remember a lot of times she said this, but not that many times that she actually did it. Her actions speak louder than her words. She just feels like a very clear example of a character who the story really wants you to like, and practically instructs you to. Rose Tyler also comes to mind. Yet I don't feel like Donna came close to earning the pedestal that she was placed on.

The other characters made mistakes as well, but they were treated as human beings, not superheroes.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

[vxmorpheus]

Here we are

We made a lot of different picrews, trying to find just the right one so we will post which we like the best. We'll start with the oldest existing;

This is Tyler, he is human and a protector

Now... his grey eye was supposed to be brown but they did not have that color option. He is a very very nice person. He speaks weirdly and can sometimes put people off but he tries his best. The way he speaks sometimes can come off as flirting because of his formal words and respect. He also is chivalrous, brave, and patient. He will come front to anyone who asks kindly to speak to him.

This is Sanity, she is a deity and caretaker.

She is the 2nd oldest, tied with Insanity. The best and shortest explanation of her personality is "Toriel". She is much older in the system than Undertale is, that's just the easiest way to describe how she is. She is blind and finds it weird to be able to see when fronting. She is also Insanity's "muzzle" and calms him down. Their relationship is tooth rotting.

This is Insanity, he is a deity and a protector and persecutor (he isn't very stable)

He is a grumpy person and is the type to say "I fucking hate your guts but you're cool, I guess." Maybe like... tsundere? Sanity is the only one he will be sweet and unnervingly happy with. When he and Sanity go on walks in the headspace, he describes everything he sees to her in careful detail to help her "see".

Here's a picrew of both of them

They are married by the way. (Her - gold hair and silver/grey eyes. Him - silver hair and gold eyes)

This is Zane, he is an angel (darkness) and protector and persecutor

He is relatively calm, will front whenever V asks even if it's convenient because... I think he likes V or something? He tries to be as good as possible, especially since his brother is constantly hovering over his shoulder to make sure he doesnt do something stupid. "Aye, I don' always do stupid shit. I som' times do smart shit." -Zane

This is Zeleo, he is an angel (light) and a protector

Zeleo is Zane's brother, he makes sure Zane behaves himself. He speaks very stiffly, easily confused with human emotion and relationships, but he tries his best.

I will introduce him like this first. This was "Blank", he was (still is maybe just a little nicer and less angry) a persecutor. His original form was not this (and he forgot his name), but he was infected with a parasite type of trauma that made him act out violently and turn into that. He was recently freed of the parasite... this is him now...

This... is Seth, he is obviously not human, I don't know what he is.

Seth swears constantly, very angry, confused about humans and finds them disgusting. Literally confused about anything, seriously, he asked what a uvula was yesterday. He does not bother learning anything about the human body. "I don't want to fucking say anything. Are fucking seriously writing what I'm saying? Fucking stop holy shit.... i fucking hate you, I'm going the fuck to sleep...... you fucking bitch" - Seth

This is Hatred, he is a deity, he is a protector and manages the parasite trauma.

Despite his name, he's a pretty chill and funny dude. He speaks similarly to Tyler but is way more relaxed. He looks like a god that would fuck with you constantly and lie but he's more like... this:

That is all of us, if you have questions we're happy to answer them. Well Insanity and Seth will probably not be happy and complain... but whatever.

Well, actually, I forgot myself...

You've seen drawings and the profile pic. You partially know me already. But, I'm cohost here and it's very difficult. I am aware I am a fictive and it... it kind of fucks me up to think about and I just try to ignore it the best I can... but it's hard to do that with this blog. Yeah... I'm better at answering questions than talking about myself in a coherent manner. So, yeah... that's everyone...

¤¤¤ Morpheus

[walks-the-ages]

When you see someone defending Rose Tyler against someone who acts like she's an evil demon, by pointing out that Rose is a flawed human being who always did her best to help the people around her with kindness and compassion: :D

When you see that same person brush everything about her treatment of Mickey under the rug and imply that Mickey was cheating on Rose (because he said don't look at my emails???? Like. As a sex-repulsed aroace that was CLEARLY a subtle porn joke. That wasn't an implication that Mickey is cheating on Rose. That was... Totally a joke that Mickey gets emails from porn websites???) so she was justified in dropping him like a hot potato so she could run off with the Doctor: >=[

Hey, if you're going to say that Rose Tyler was a flawed human being, and then try to justify her treatment of Mickey as not being one of those flaws? And you try to demonize Mickey in the same breath? I'm sorry but I don't know how to explain to you how racist that is.

Oh wait, I do.

You're demonizing the black man by saying he was cheating on his white girlfriend even with zero freaking evidence, and saying that it was perfectly fine for said white girlfriend to run off with another white man-- with the parting shot of

"thanks"

"thanks for what?"

"exactly!"

Like. Are you serious. Are you SERIOUS. Mickey fucking Smith in all of season one was nothing less than a racist caricature played for comic relief, and you're seriously going to act like Rose's treatment of him was perfectly justified??

Oh yeah, when she comes back a year later, he tells her he's going out with another girl to make her mad! Like. She literally didn't even break up with him before running off with the Doctor. Her last words to him were "thanks for nothing".

She goes running off with another man and then comes swanning back in like nothing happened, and he's not supposed to be angry?

He's literally been demonized and arrested multiple times because people think he murdered her, and we're just supposed to expect him to not be upset hurt and angry about that? Especially when Rose has barely made more than a half-hearted apology to him??

If you're going to say that Rose Tyler is a good character because she is flawed, then you need to acknowledge that all of the OTHER characters are flawed as well, not just brush everything that ROSE did under the rug by fabricating bullshit excuses to make up for her actions, and then go out and MAKE SHIT UP about Mickey to show how "bad" he was.

[gra-sonas]

Before the Coronavirus, an ongoing quarantine, and the recent economic fallout became front-page news, and a daily worry at the forefront of everyone’s mind, one of the biggest topics causing debate was women’s health, and more specifically the right to have an abortion. The word abortion is seldom ever heard on television, especially not on a major network, and especially not on popular TV. Still, the CW’s Roswell, New Mexico not only says the word, but they also show the main character make the decision and go through with it without regret, and with the support of her family and friends.

Roswell, New Mexico is that type of show. They treat significant subjects like race relations, xenophobia, women’s rights, and sexuality with intelligence and courage in a time when all of those topics are under fire from the highest power in the government. The fact that they do it under the backdrop of a story about literal aliens is just a bonus. On a show with so many deeply complex characters, there is one character whose story has had a significant impact on an entire community. That is the proudly bisexual alien cowboy Michael Guerin, played with nuance and depth by Michael Vlamis.

When it comes to the character of Michael Guerin, it would be so easy to get it wrong. Play him too cavalierly, he would come across as insufferable, too much melodrama, and he would come across as false. But although Michael Vlamis is pretty far from Guerin (they are two different species after all), it’s his willingness to find solidarity, and absorb this character to his very core that allows Guerin to come alive.

The heartbreak permeating Guerin’s story this season just happened to coincide with one painful experience of Michael’s own, and he wasn’t afraid to use that in his character. That’s what makes this performance so unique. As Michael said when chatting with me over the phone while we were both quarantined in our homes, “He has cracks in his armor, and I have always been someone who has cracks in my armor too. I just have to take those cracks and let them show.”

Michael is a surprisingly complex character. When you first see him in the first season, he has this kind of sexy outlaw thing going on, where he’s focused on only looking out for number one. But as the season progresses, he’s sort of stripped of all of his armor. Now in season 2, he’s in a more vulnerable position than ever. Did you know where this character was going to go when you first got it or were you just as surprised as the viewers were? I had no idea, and that was the most fun. I’m the type of actor who enjoys not talking about where my character is going with the writers. I trust the writers, and I know there will be growth, but there is something interesting about reading a script and acting out a scene from just what you already know has happened. Once you know what happens in the future, It’s hard not to play that. It comes across as more believable if you don’t know, and it’s fun to surprise yourself every week and surprise yourself in the moment. Plus, often, when you have that surprising moment, it can sometimes influence where the writers decide to bring the character.

I think a lot of the flashback in Season 1 Episode 6, and how interesting it was to know that Guerin wasn’t always this armored person. He was excited and living for love and planning on going off to college. When we did that episode, the writers did have to communicate what they wanted and tell me to play this character way differently than I had been. It’s been an exciting transition for him, he went from no armor to armor, to no armor and now in Season 2 he’s back in prison and fighting and he’s got the armor back on again.

It’s interesting because, in a way, the relationship drama that Michael is dealing with in season 2 seems like it shouldn’t be as relevant as a lot of the other plot points going on. Still, I think that the way that Michael is portrayed as an openly bisexual character is so unique on television these days, even though it shouldn’t be. It also allows the viewers to see a lot of his vulnerability. Did you feel a responsibility in portraying this aspect of Michael? Yes. When I got into it, I didn’t know a lot about the bi community. I knew about heartbreak and love and loss. In the pilot, I was coming out of heartbreak and channeling that. I just thought of Alex Manes as someone I was in love with and honoring what a strongly committed love that is. I brought that in, and when we did it that way, that was when the LGBT community started reaching out and saying how much I was affecting them with my work. They would dm me and say that my relationship with Alex gave them the confidence to come out. I didn’t realize that responsibility until we started affecting people. I think Tyler Blackburn (who plays Alex Manes) being bi, he knew more of what was going to happen. I hadn’t been on tv before or portrayed anyone who wasn’t straight, so I wasn’t expecting this. Now I know how important it is to continue to take this seriously, and that motivates me.

Tyler is so empathetic, and he has such empathetic eyes, everything I do is just playing off him, the strength of the characters comes from the relationship between the two of us. Without him, I don’t know where I would be. I don’t know if these characters would be as compelling without him.

Roswell is a really special show in the way that it weaves these real-world conflicts of xenophobia and the fear of otherness into a fantastic story about aliens living on earth. Your character represents so many of the difficulties inherent in being someone different. Can you talk about where the show is taking these sorts of conflicts this season, and maybe where they might affect the direction of your character? I think the way they’re taking the show is with the idea that even though we are different, we are also human. Our morals and what we believe in and how we affect others and how we want to be loved is special. Even though we are from another planet, we have the same values. We are so vilified in the flashbacks with the military but, none of the aliens wanted to hurt anyone until they had to defend themselves. What’s important with our show is that we are all one, no matter what your origin is. We can continue to grow to adapt and be better. We shouldn’t be vilified for what someone distantly related to us did.

We are the outcasts, but because of our skin color, no one questions us. Now all of a sudden we are the bad guys because people have found out about this big secret. The most vilified characters are the Ortechas, somewhat because of what happened with Rosa, but also because of race. The racial tension has protected the white people in the community who are also the people that the military is trying to hunt.

What are the ways that you relate to this character? Do you ever take anything from your life and put it into the role? On the same note, does his story ever bleed into yours? That’s all I do in my work. It gets me in trouble, especially now that people are reading my writing. People will be like, “you stole what I said to you.” If it wasn’t said, it wouldn’t matter enough to be shared. The truth is so important. I always find ways to pull from my life. Unlike Michael, I come from a great family. I come from a family who loved me and supported me. My dad was always leaving work early and coming to my games, but he was hard on me, and I felt like perfection was something I was always trying to achieve. As I get older, I realize perfection doesn’t exist. Achieving greatness through your values and being the best you can be, is what matters. When I was a kid, I was overweight, and for a while, I was always getting hurt and going through all these surgeries. Adversity would arise in my life, and then I would have to learn how to deal with it.

With Michael, he feels like things are working so well with Maria, but then Maria finds out he’s an alien, and he’s pushed aside. All of those ebbs and flows of what life throws at you go into the show. I was the fat kid in school, and now I am on the CW, but I remember what it was to be 12 in love, and no one sees you. All of those moments pushed me to be funny as a kid, as a defense mechanism. That’s in me, no matter who the character is, the cracks in the armor are there. I put that into Michael.

One specific thing this year in the show is that I lose Max. in the offseason, I lost a childhood friend while I was with him in person. It was this horrible experience, and it was so weird, and I was sitting there trying to make sense of things, but what made sense was that this guy supported me so much. So I took the feeling of loss and put that into what Guerin feels when Max is gone. In tonight’s episode, I channeled my buddy and made it real. I was haunted this season and maybe even a little too hard on myself, but I wanted to honor my friend. That is a tragic way I incorporate real life into my work. But I’m tipping my hat to my friend. Hopefully, he’s watching and proud.

So, apart from your work as an actor, you are also a producer and a writer. Are you working on anything right now? Does having that diversity of experience make acting easier and vice versa? Definitely. You understand a set, and if I’m producing my own film, I know what goes into that, and if I’m writing for a kid character, I know that they need chaperones and tutors. Being on set shaped me as a writer and producer. Last year, I wrote a film with Kyle [Anderson] about the late rapper Mac Miller called Blue Side Park, And it made the 2019 blacklist of best un-produced scripts. Once that happened, it opened the door for me to do more work. I have a script at McFarlane’s company and another tv show, where Dan Lagana is the showrunner. Having these projects moving has been keeping me busy. We’re getting close. Now I’m writing my next movie, which was initially going to be a thriller, but during the quarantine, it’s been hard to write this dark story, so we (my writing partner and I) made it into a comedy. I produced my first film last year that won the best ensemble cast at the LA indie film fest, called 5 Years Apart. My roommate co-wrote and directed that, and we’re getting distribution. I’m staying busy.

~ Euphoria

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #334

"i dreamed i was missing  /  you were so scared  /  but no one would listen,  ‘cuz no one else cared”

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset has prettier colors, imo, but I enjoy the pastel nature of sunrises, too. Are you mentally ill? Oh brother. Are you physically ill? I don't have any serious physical health issues, no. Introvert or extrovert? I'm a very strong introvert. What do you think when you look at your body? That it's fucking disgusting. What have others said when they look at your body? When I was healthy, I was complimented every now and again. With the body I have now? I'm glad people keep their months shut. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? There's a good 'ole handful or two. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? It's weird, I'm not a city person at all, but possibly when I was walking the streets of Chicago with Sara and her dad one evening. There was just so much life, so many new sights, that it was impossible not to. Plus, I was at a very happy point in my life, so. I just enjoyed a lot. Are you confident wearing a bikini? FUCK NO. Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Mentally, obviously. Everyone has at some point. I've never been seriously physically hurt by family, but Mom did spank my sisters and me as kids if we did something wrong. Biggest lie you have told? I don't really know. I get really uncomfortable telling even minor lies, so making a big one would be excruciating. I'm not saying I've never said a biggie, I'm sure in 25 years of life I said something stupid at one point, I just don't remember it. Do you believe in the Illuminati? Nah; there's some compelling evidence, but I just think it's way too big of a secret to keep. Regrets in your life? Blaming the breakup entirely on Jason and saying just plain cruel things to him afterwards. Also sending an appallingly hateful letter to Dad to vent after the divorce. Flirting with my then-best friend's boyfriend at the time behind her back. Dating Tyler (it's a small one, but still a regret). There are others, those are just the only ones coming to me right now. Achievements in your life? Lots of academic success and awards (before college, anyway...), artistic accomplishments like having my work put in a museum, surviving a traumatic breakup, (mostly) recovering from massive depression... What did people say about you in school? Nothing, really. I was a quiet student who just did her work and tried hard. Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes. If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? First, I'm paying off college debt. Then Mom gets a new car, followed by me getting new glasses and renewing my permit. I'm getting a good terrarium setup for Venus. Then, it's tattoo time, baby, haha. I can't really do the mental math on how much this all would cost, but those are the high-priority things I can think of. Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? Jason and I were playfighting in bed, and he had me pinned. Our faces were close, and I decided to kiss him. It was a fairy tale moment, in my eyes. He looked so bashful for once (he's far from shy) but also really happy, and I was too. Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Low, I think. Or maybe average, when Dad was still around. Have you been raised by a solo parent? When I was around 17, my parents split, so kinda-sorta. Do you know both your parents? Thankfully, yes. Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. Are you comfortable accepting compliments? Ehhhh, I really appreciate them and they can make my whole day, but I'm very awkward about it. I get shy. Are you comfortable giving compliments? Oh yes. I honestly love giving compliments; I know how happy they can make me, so why not share that with others? Is any mental illness hindering your life? Guess. (: Is any physical illness hindering your life? Well, it's not an "illness," but the muscles in my legs have severely atrophied from leading such a horribly sedentary lifestyle, and that has greatly affected my ability to work without the risk of just collapsing. Walking at all is painful. Are you preparing for an apocalypse? No. I'm not really one to worry about "prepping." If it happens, it happens, man. I'm not spending loads of money on a "maybe." Are you interested in cults? Not really, no. Are your parents good cooks? Mom is fine, but it's hard to really judge Dad's cooking since he barely ever did it, plus I haven't had his cooking in many, many years. I remember he was great at making breakfast, though. That was like a rare treat, him deciding to make breakfast for everyone. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No. Do you know anyone who is an actor? No. Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? They never did. Have you ever used a public pay phone? No. Have you ever made an item of clothing? No. Have you taken someone's virginity? No. Is confidence cute? "Confidence, yes. But cockiness and arrogance, no. That’s a whole different area that’s definitely not cute." <<<< Nailed it. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Doubt it. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No; rather, I drink too much of it. I'm trying really hard to lay off of it, and I drink nowhere near as much as I used to (when oddly enough, I was healthy and fit), but I'm still not comfortable drinking a can and a half a day. Listening to? "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Kinda obsessed. Ever used a bow and arrow? No, but archery is cool. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I don't think this has happened since my senior shot in HS. Take a vitamin daily? Daily, no, but I really should. I take a Vitamin D capsule every Sunday, though. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I only really like "Love Story" and "Picture to Burn." Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Which are better: black or green olives? I don't like olives period, but I guess black. What’s your 3rd favourite animal? Huh, never thought of #3, just #1 and #2: meerkats and opossums. Maybe snakes? Do you like mushrooms? NO. NO NO NO. What dream do you remember most vividly? One I don't talk about. A childhood nickname? Mom called me "Twinkie" and still sometimes does. ;-; Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? Just Sara. And yes, regarding some people. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I'm unsure, but probably. I don't tend to just like... randomly block people. What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Of course it was MySpace. It's still floating around somewhere in cyberspace. What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I get nostalgic over the Animal Planet forums sometimes. Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Yes, Sara. I felt like it would go just fine, but it went even better than I expected - I was oddly very comfortable around her and her family. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? Are you a fan of things like that in general? Yeah; I tried many brands until I settled for Equate, surprisingly. Cheap does not equate to bad quality, my friends. We always have the chocolate ones in the house, and they're really not bad at all. Are you the kind of person to enjoy taking naps? I love me my daily nap, man. What's your favourite kind of cheese to have on a pizza? Idk, whatever cheese is normally used, lol. What's a hobby you loved when you were younger but no longer enjoy for whatever reason? I guess video editing. I can't say I'd no longer enjoy it at all, but now the idea sounds far more like a chore than fun. Is there a popular food/drink that you can't stand? What is it and why don't you like it? I could name five dozen, but here's just a few: coffee, pie, tea, fried chicken (or is that just a Southern thing to be obsessed with?), and... of course now that I'm asked this question, I'm blanking on the huge number I know exist. As for "why," that varies, but it's either just simply a taste or even a texture thing. How would your wedding boquet look like? I want a gothic-themed wedding, so imagine a mix of black and maroon roses... whew-wee. You’re at a bar, and you witness a man drugging some girl's drink. What do you do? No hesitation, I'm decking the motherfucker. Fuck my fear of men, he's getting knocked out, and I'm immediately alerting the staff, as well as of course the girl. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? Y'know, loads and loads of scaly and hairy ones. Got plenty of name ideas depending on what they are and how they look. The only baby whose gender matters to me is the tarantula because females live waaaay longer. Fuck them human babies, not for me. Are you an organ donor? Absolutely. I sure as hell ain't usin' 'em once I'm dead, so consider it my last act of selflessness. Whats the most you’ve ever lost gambling? I don't gamble. What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? My pebble from my "graduation" from my first partial hospitalization program. It's meant to symbolize how great pain and trials can file you into something beautiful. It was passed around group, everyone holding it in their hands as they wished me well and spoke their piece about me. I'm honestly just fighting back tears remembering it. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No, I'm way too impatient for that shit.. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? Hm. I guess it depends on what you use it for. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? A human birth, no fucking thank you. I've only ever seen pet cats give birth. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does, big time. He quit drinking, but never quite managed to stay away from cigarettes. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Seeing as I grew up with outdoor cats that we couldn't afford to fix, pretty much all of our tomcats left for roving once they came of a certain age. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan and Jason know each other, Jason and Girt know one another as well, and Sara and Girt have met. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I simply cannot fathom the belief that "dinosaurs never existed." Explain the fucking fossils, like come the fuck on. It's absolute denial in the name of religion. What was the very first election you voted in? This one that just passed, actually. What is one random fact about you? I want like 20 tarantulas but Mom says no. :( Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Fuck no, I will do anything to stay inside in summer. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? I love band tees, yeah. My Ninja Sex Party shirt is the most comfortable, but comfort aside, it's hard to pick a favorite. Possibly my Otep one, 'cuz the design is dope. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. What season do you want to get married in? Fall. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Oh god, I don't own expensive brand stuff. I guess the only exclusion would be my Cloak shirt, but even that's not like, mad pricey. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Maybe that Catz game? Even though the music was the most fucking obnoxious meowing ever lmao. What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was this guy in my PHP group; my therapist surprised the fuck out of me by sharing with everyone my most recent poem (I trust him a lot, and he urges me to send him my art, so I've done that twice), and I nearly fucking died from cardiac arrest. However, this Nick guy, who's a poetry major, told me it was better than stuff he reads in his Master's program. I almost cried. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No, not that I'm opposed though or anything. If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The one on my inner forearm. Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? No. When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I never have. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No; Roman won't even come close enough to a stranger TO bite, haha. It's funny, he's so goofy and you'd guess outgoing, but instead, he's terrified of people he doesn't recognize. What’s your favorite type of sushi? I don't eat sushi. What’s your favorite patriotic song? Don't have one. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, and I'd really prefer not to because it would just drag me back to dark times. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you like soy sauce? omfg no What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market. @_@ It's a hub for reptiles for sale, and I have my days where I just browse the ball python morphs for like an hour or so, haha. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Christ, half my friends on Facebook are having babies, idr. I don't know who was the most recent. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? I'm very fast. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No; that was my friend Hannia. I'm pretty certain she would qualify as a genius. Her GPA was fucking incredible. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? No.

[galvanizedfriend]

This is something that I was once upon a time planning on turning into a multichapter but that I don’t think will ever happen anymore, so here’s my two cents to the Klaroline Rewind event!  Caroline had a night to forget with the douchebag of the century and, a year later, she meets him again at the airport for the wedding of the best friend they unfortunately share. AU/AH, romcom-ish type of thing. Just cause I had to unwind after writing 8k words of angst.

-----------------

Caroline met The Worst Guy Ever about a year ago.

 No, really. The Worst. 

Men are, as a general rule, pigs. If women were to make in-depth pros-versus-cons evaluations of every guy they meet before deciding on whether to hook up with them or not, well. Let's just say the perpetuation of the human species would be seriously endangered. There's only but a handful of guys out there who are really worth any woman's time, and Caroline hasn't had the pleasure of meeting many representatives of that rare, dying breed. They're like real life unicorns. And it doesn't help that Caroline is a walking magnet for dudebros. 

She doesn't know what is it about her that gets them to crawl out of sewers and holes in hell to greet her with their Hey there, gorgeous’ or Have I died and gone to heavens whenever she walks into a bar. It's probably the blonde hair. She's considered going darker a few times, but she's a natural blond, her highlights are incredible and her hair is way too pretty for her to dye it just because guys can't even bother to work on their lame pick-up lines and still expect her to have sex with them. And the sad truth is, if she's really desperate, she will.

 It's exhausting to be a twenty-something single woman in the XXI century. There's the pressure of making it in this godforsaken world as an adult, there's the pressure from society's understanding that a woman of her age should be looking for serious commitment with marriage in sight, and then there's also the pressure that comes from the needs of her very horny human body. It's just too much. She really hopes to come back as a lesbian in her next life. Bisexual at the very least. Everything would be so much easier if she just didn't need men at all, not even for their parts.

 But anyway. The Worst Guy. Yes, Caroline's met her fair share of jerks and idiots, so it takes something really special to leave her aghast. This guy is a king among douchebags. And that's not just her personal opinion; she's shared the story with all her friends and the friends of her friends, and all the women at her work, and even some random people at bars or parties. The collective response to her tale is always a disgusted ugh! followed by What an ass! or Please, tell me you punched that son of a bitch?. If you discount abusive, aggressive and violent men, who are criminals and not in the same category as everyday lame-ass men, he really is The Worst.

 Caroline doesn't like to say she's not over it yet because it implies bestowing a level of importance to the fact that is not merited. The guy was a friend of a friend - her best friend, yes, but still only a notch above a complete stranger. She knew him for three days when the story went down and, technically, they did no more than make out for a little bit, so it's not like they had any kind of relationship going on. He's not important, just a guy who did something astoundingly douchebaggy.

 The whole thing was bound to go down as a funny anecdote to be shared between girls, a Oh, you think you've had the worst hook-up ever? Hold my beer kind of story. Provided, of course, that she never had to see the guy again and could just wipe him out of her memory for good. Considering they live in different time zones, it shouldn't be too difficult.

 Which is exactly why Caroline is livid to come out of the arrivals area at the Richmond airport to find him there, wearing sunglasses indoors, like the proper ass that he is and holding up a sign that says Clarisse and giving her that smug, dimpled smile that got her wanting to suck face with him the first time but now just makes her blood boil.

 She is going to murder Tyler on his wedding week.

 Caroline inhales deeply through her nose, plasters the most sardonic, Miss-Mystic-Falls saccharine smile she can muster on her face and braces herself for confrontation. If she puffs out her chest, throws her hair back to show a little more cleavage and has a bit of Naomi on her gait as she walks over to him, well. Who can blame her, right?

 "Hello, love," he greets her in that insufferable Royal Asshole accent of his. It wouldn't surprise her at all to find out he's not even really British, that the accent is just another item on his long list of douchebaggy features. "Such a pleasure to see you again."

 "That's so sweet of you, Nicholas. Too bad I can't say the same."

 He laughs, the idiot. "I trust you had a pleasant flight."

 "Lovely! Everything was perfect until the moment I walked out and saw you," she says, punctuating her sentence with a grin. "Please tell me Tyler is dead, because that really is the only acceptable excuse for sending you to pick me up."

 "Tyler had some urgent matters that required his attention and apparently thinks I've got nothing more important to do than serve as chauffeur to his ex-girlfriends."

 "And you couldn't be your disappointment-of-a-friend usual self and send someone else instead? An Uber driver would've sufficed."

 "And miss the chance of surprising my lovely old friend Clarisse? Nonsense!" he says, smirking. "Tyler also reminded me that I have certain responsibilities as his best man. I was entirely unaware, but it seems being his personal slave is one of those, who would've known?"

 Tyler is so dead.

 "Aren't you a dear?" Caroline asks around a sigh.

 "I know. Now, have you got everything you need?"

 "If I'll be spending an hour in a car with you, I might need a weapon. Do you think I could buy a gun here somewhere?"

 Klaus chuckles, taking her luggage as he starts walking towards the parking lot. If she didn't know any better, she'd almost believe his gentlemanly act. "I've missed you, Caroline."

 "So you do know my name."

 "It comes and goes," he says flippantly. "How's New York this time of the year?"

 "Humid. How's hell?"

 "Not the same since you left." She can't help the laughter that escapes her. His sense of humor is on point, she'll give him that. "You are sorely missed in New Orleans," he continues.

 "I hardly remember New Orleans." Lie.

 "I'd be more than happy to escort you down memory lane, perhaps tend to certain unfinished business," he offers in a very casual manner, but the wolfish smile on his lips leaves no doubt over his intentions.

 "I believe we made a non-breakable deal about never discussing New Orleans again," Caroline reminds him as they stop by a huge black SUV. "Wow, that's a very big car. Are you trying to compensate for something?"

 His smile widens, showing teeth and those damn dimples again. There should be a law against douchebags coming in such alluring packages. "Would you like to find out?"

 "Sorry, I'm not that desperate yet. I'll let you know if every other human being on the planet dies, though. Then you'll be first and last on my list. Until then, we don't talk about it. In fact - here's a great idea. How about we just don't talk at all?"

 "We made a deal about never telling other people. I don't see what the problem of discussing it is if it's just us girls," he says, loading her luggage into the back of the car.

 "The only thing I can recall from that night is that everything was very basic, very below par, and there was not a lot to be missed there, so I really don't see the point."

 "You wound me, love," he says, a frown showing behind his sunglasses.

 Caroline smiles again. "Not nearly as much as I'd like to."

[mecommentating]

Twilight: Chapters 1-8

I was bored and when I’m bored I read cheesy romance novels. Now seemed as good a time as any to read this series that I’ve heard so much about. 

Basically these are just my thoughts on the novel as I’m reading it. I already know quite a bit about the story so that is heavily effecting my thoughts and predictions. 

Of course there will be spoilers. 

Bella is like a kitten she tries to be intimidating and angry but really she’s just this cute little fluff ball that trips over nothing. It’s hilarious

Edward is just infuriating

Bruh. This guy- He was like you shouldn’t be my friend, stay away from me. Then he goes so do you wanna go to Seattle with me on Saturday? DUDE just stop 

I can’t take this book seriously. The writing’s bad. The characters are bad, the story is meh. But, inexplicably, I love it. It’s so funny. 

Okay. So I know Edward likes her but at this point in the book he has made no indication that his fascination and attraction to her is anything but pure friendliness and curiosity. But she’s like YO HE LIKES ME WHAT DOES THIS MEEEAAAANNN?!?!?!

WHAT THE- DUDE This guuuuuuuuuuuy Come on!  He has repeatedly been like nope we can’t be friends you should avoid me and then he asks her to go to Seattle with him. And then he’s like you should stay away. AND NOW he is sitting alone at lunch makes eye contact with her and then motions her over AND WINKS

He sounds like someone who would trick her into his car and then drive away and rape her. The way he asked her to sit with him sounded terrifying. Of course I can’t actually hear him but that was 100% the vibe I was getting 

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU FRICKING MORON

Edward after Bella questions why he invited her to sit with him for lunch: “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

I’m team anybody but Edward 

Yeah if I didn’t know he was a vampire who has no idea how to handle his emotions I would be terrified that Edward was going to assault Bella

This guy has no idea how to talk to people. I get it he’s in love or whatever but dude stop being creepy

THERE YOU GO AGAIN SAYING THEY CANT BE FRIENDS

This dude is being her friend and when Bella says he’s her friend he’s like WOAH no no no we’re not friends I just like hanging out with you and stuff....

HOW CAN SHE AVOID YOU WHEN YOU’RE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS AND KEEP GOADING HER?

HA she thinks he’s Batman or Spider-Man she can’t decided that’s awesome

Because he can read minds Bella! Just not yours for some reason.

Ooo this boy is hot and he knows it look at him wrapping her around his finger

Edward go shoot your self

Oh my gods Bella. He has literally told you stay away I’m not safe like 10 times and it just now occurred to you that he might be dangerous?!

Ooo look at Edward skipping class how edgy

WHAT KIND OF SCIENCE CLASS HAS ITS STUDENTS PRICK THEIR FINGERS AS PART OF THE ASSIGNMENT?!

ooooh I see why Edward skipped class today

Haha this girl is scared of blood and she’s going to join a vampire clan? That’s a stupid idea.Her fear of blood is like crippling. She almost passed out and is now lying on the sidewalk trying to calm herself down.

How does she handle her period then? That must be a traumatic week...

OF COURSE EDWARD SHOWS UP

This guy just kidnapped her 

Edward I know it’s hilarious but you laughing is just going to piss her off so please let’s avoid a temper tantrum and stop laughing

What the- So Mike (he likes Bella hates Edward I find him annoying) just walks into the nurses office with another guy who fainted when he saw blood and Edward is like Bella get out of the office right now

What is Mike gonna do? What did you read in Mike’s mind, Ed?

Bella is like 2 steps from being a Vampire. She hates the smell of blood. Not the sight of it just the smell. And did she not notice that Edward just referred to her as human as in he’s not

He actually just dragged her to his car. Is nobody else concerned? 

Oh look at that they just bonded over classical music

LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  Edward like low key just asked if Bella’s parents would be okay if he married her. You have known her for barely two months you need to calm down lover boy. 

“There are no secrets in Forks.” oh then I guess everyone knows that the best doctor around and all of his family are vampires??

Edward. Shut up. 

Nobody likes you Jessica. Shut up, I don’t want your opinion. 

Okay how does Bella plan on getting out of town with Edward with out her dad and the entire town asking questions. Her truck is loud and distinctive. If she leaves it anywhere in town everyone will know within 5 minutes. And she cant leave it in her drive way because then her dad will get suspicious. AND is she going to take Edward clothing shopping with her?! I see flaws in this plan. 

Do drift wood fires really burn blue? holy frick it does. Whaaaaaaaaaaat. OH it’s also toxic and not safe to burn so um they’re all going to die. 

*gasp* is this when we meet the werewolf people?! Jacob? *mutters* is that his name? 

Haha I knew it

If they’re pretty they’re not human. That is what this book has taught me. 

I like Jacob. He sticks around right?

haha he likes her. Man I wish I could in good conscious ship them. He’s funny, a good talker, attractive, builds cars. What more could she want? But no. She chooses Edward. Which is fine. I assume I’ll eventually like him too. But right now I’m all for Jacob. 

Oh I bet the Cullens don’t come to the beach because of the Blacks. 

NOOOOOO no no no Bella please for the love of god do not try and flirt it will not work and will only end up embarrassing you and me. 

How is this working?

Jacob has got to be pulling her leg or something. There is no way he’d actually be giving away clan secrets like this. 

Looks like he is.  

What an idiot. 

YEAH Vampires! Finally. 

Yeah uh huh be worried Jacob. You just told the biggest secret ever to the one person who is going to believe you. 

Yeeaaaah Team Jacob. Bella stop leading on the better of your two options. Everyone knows you won’t choose him except for him. 

 Listen to your dream. It’s more accurate than you know. 

Her just listening to the same album over and over again is so relatable. 

Believe it Bella. He’s a Vampire. Now go confront him about it. 

Foreshadowing that Edward is from the 18th century? Did he know Jane Austin? 

ha I love her dad. 

Lol Tyler my guy you don’t have a chance. 

OOOOOOH sunlight right. The sparkle or whatever in the sun so they can’t go to school when there’s direct sunlight. I’m so freaking slow. Thanks for explaining, Angela. 

oh no... The dudes have her trapped. Edward is going to show up. I would bet money on it. 

haha silver car that had better be edward- aw that move was smooth as hell- yeah edward! 

Little did you know that Vampires are amazing get away drivers. They can even do fancy driving tricks. If you want a good chauffeur hire a Vampire. 

What’s wrong, Eddy? Why you so mad?

Aw. He got so riled up for her. He really needs to learn to not feel things so strongly but it’s still cute. 

Yeah maybe don’t try and distract him by talking about someone he might see as a threat to your affection for him.  

Dang he’s a good driver. 

lol I haven’t liked Edward at all. He’s annoying, possessive, can’t control his emotions, cocky. Then I find out he’s a good driver and I’m like ooo I like him. I am such an idiot. 

Edward you don’t eat. Why do you want to take Bella out for dinner? That’s just going to be awkward. 

Oh nooooo. Every single person in Forks is going to know that Bella stayed behind with Edward. uuuuugh this is a nightmare. 

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? This guy has been alive for who knows how long and you’re telling me he has no idea the effect he has on women? He doesn’t know the paralyzing ability his smile has? Bullcrap. 

oh oh oh he’s giving her his jacket oooooh she has fallen forever

oh and he wears turtle necks. I aproooove. Turtle necks are so cool. Idk but I love them. 

Lol I don’t think he thinks she’s human. He knows she’s not a vampire but she does not act like a human. 

NO do not question him Bella. This is a bad idea. I do not advise.

“Let’s call him ‘Joe’“ LOL

OH my GOSSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH 

lol she’s a trouble magnet and it’s the truth

ooo that’s a nice word: Unequivocally

HE WAS FOLLOWING HER?! that’s not creepy at all! 

wait. what?

Ooooh he wanted to kill her the first time they met and yet he didn’t kill her I get it now

Tell her. 

okay calm down buddy Bella is okay everyone is fine you need to take a deep breathe and calm down. 

oh shoot okay going to dinner was a smart idea it kept him from killing people

Why can’t he read her mind? I wanna know. 

[pigeoncentric]

i did an A:TLA rewatch and took notes because that’s just what i do, and here’s the notes if anyone wants to see my thoughts

i haven't watched atla since about a year before korra started airing, so like, around 2011. i should also mention that i never watched korra through to the end, but i guess i'll do that after this. if i feel like it. i do know that the biggest bottles were never popped

i have such a clear memory of the first episode. it must've been on nickelodeon pretty often, even though when it was airing, i only watched it occasionally. i remember they also aired the library episode super often.

aang's voice is so tiny and sweet

i gotta turn off my dumb adult brain and put my dumb kid brain back on so i can better appreciate the nickelodeonness of it all

sokka and zuko's first interaction.......

zuko's intimidating approach and then his tiny teen voice

SOKKA AND ZUKO'S SECOND INTERACTION............

zuko's like "i'm going home." with aang. he must be feeling an incredible mixture of feelings, thinking he has the avatar and can reclaim his Honor. but he also must be terrified to go back, and in disbelief... fortunately he's not going home like he said and there are even more confused feelings in between

i just remembered that iroh's voice actor dies between seasons :(

thinking a lot about dante basco... no thoughts in particular, just a lot of them... and how he shipped zutara lmao

"my troubles cannot be soaked away!"

hei bai looks like a ben 10

mounts list (added to as i progressed through the series): zuko's rhinos. earth armored ostriches. metal noshing mole. north pole goatyak. azula and friends' fur geckos. sabertooth moose lion if you're not a wimp. appa-sized beetle. moose with aquatic features. Eel Hound.

you can't out-mom-friend katara. even when she's yelling and being reckless

it's true... airbenders are weak to nets.

the n*tfli* captions are making several mistakes. eat my ass ne*f*ix and hire me to do flawless captioning instead you dumb fucks

YEAH! even by episode 13 in season 1 we already know zuko is a good boy! well also by episode 12. and earlier. well i've seen the series before.

i've just learned that zach tyler eisen is the voice of aang and i have to give him huge props for having the perfect voice. i pay a lot of attention to voice acting, usually in a nitpicky way, and i've never heard an english voice actor whose voice is perfect on the level of ikue ohtani... and when he was like 12 years old. incredible. i'm not being remotely sarcastic

i gotta be 100% honest. i had completely forgotten the existence of zhao and that he's actually a pretty important character, at least in season 1. also his voice actor is pretty good. generally the voice acting is good in this show, and i'm picky.

god the animation where aang makes one catapult catapult the other is so good. also appa just picked up and grabbed a guy. with his fist. wait how many toes does appa have? is that 18 in total? also appa has scutes on his ventrum. anyway i love that appa can pick up and grab a guy but generally chooses not to. gives it more weight when he does choose to

zuko tells turtle seals to be quiet and then touches them unkindly :(

zuko busted out of katara's ice orb instead of melting it :\

zuko put his hood up like iroh told him to but aang just has his naked bald head in the snowy cold :(

seeing zhao grab and bag the moon spirit fish made me feel sick. such a foul act

god. the quality rope. i noticed sokka mention it and was like, "was this a chekhov's gun or a red herring" and then a few minutes later there was a pointed pan over to the quality rope.

anyway examining the quality of the voice acting here leads me to a thesis i might gather evidence to prove: american english voice acting for cartoons is far higher quality than american english voice acting for anime dubs. or is that just something obvious that everyone already agrees on

anyway anyway, the episode ended without the quality rope being put to use. unless i missed it, which is entirely possible.

jesus i heard azula's first lines and got an instant flashback to all the tumblr drama about grey delisle and her tumblr account and how she pretended it wasn't hers or something let's just erase all of this from my brain right now

this is kind of out of nowhere and borderline inappropriate but i'm glad characters in avatar are illustrated with nipples when they're shirtless... it always disturbs me a tiny bit when shirtless characters are depicted with zero nipple, not even a hint of nipple. (Aladdin.) not just because it implicitly stigmatizes something everyone has, but also because this scenario always plays in my head where it's like, a little kid sees a cartoon character without nipples and they think, "so i'm not supposed to have these..." and they start feeling weird and bad about themself... all you need to depict a nipple is a single unobtrusive dot. nothing visually offensive or explicit about it.

even to an audience who doesn't understand any cultural context, you can't not see the significance of zuko and iroh cutting off their topknots...

fandom seems to see sokka as the silliest one when in fact at least 40% of his entire role as a character is to be the tsukkomi

underrated moment: "you've got an elbow leech." "WHERE?! WHERE?!"

zuko should be a good boy and only steal if it's from pirates

stealy zuko stealing money and buying iroh a teapot !

god i forgot what a tiny baby voice toph has... so tiny

zuko trying really really hard but doing a bad job hammering (tears)

azula set up zuko and mai for a lucky sukebe...

when zuko's mom told him not to forget who he is, she didn't mean to remember that he's a prince and an heir as he revealed to the unsuspecting earth kingdom village. she meant to remember that he's someone with at least the base level of empathy and compassion, unlike most of his immediate family...

i still think aang's voice actor did a great job but i bet it sucks to be a young boy doing an excellent young boy voice and then when you grow up a little and presumably experience some puberty you just Cannot do the young boy voice anymore. hopefully in most cases where that happens, it's at least not abrupt

placing a bet that the writer for episode s2:e10 (the library) is different than most of the other episodes. i don't like it very much, at least in the first several minutes. if it's a name i recognize from the credits of several other episodes, i might be a bit disappointed in them. seriously, there's one stinker after another. and with such a great concept of an episode...

i didn't recognize the name of the guy who wrote this episode so i thought i was right but no, he wrote a bunch of episodes. must have been off his game for this one... either that or i'm in a very unforgiving mood and don't realize it... also when i went on wikipedia to look at who wrote which atla episodes, i learned that the animation for the show was split between two animation studios, and they're both korean. ah, i guess that doesn't mean all the animation took place overseas, as DM movie has a headquarters in the US. according to wikipedia.

oh, they're BUZZards... i get it... i gotcha.

aang with a vengeance is both scary and sad to see. but he does understand that property damage is nothing compared to a life

people who love azula are the exact same as people who love vriska: [comment redacted]

they have american birds in the avatar world. i keep hearing an eastern wood-peewee going "pee-pee-uwee" in the background :3

the serpent's pass seems geologically implausible.

sokka should really get face paint all over his face when he kisses suki. or like, the cartoonish image of when someone is covered in lipstick lip smacks, but it should be suki's makeup color

appa's been through so much and now he has to meet a boarcupine?!?! fortunately he still knows how to pick up and grab... but still :(

he touched appa's scutes and read them like a palm...

longshot translated his meaningful stares into out-loud words for katara and friends

zuko forgot that azula always lies :(

zuko should know that being redeemed in his father's eyes is the opposite of what he wants...

i LOVE aang's passionate tsungi horn dance

there are spring peepers in the fire nation

god the dripping of the rotten clams is so excessive

you know how ultrasonic humidifiers can create water vapor without heating it into steam, by vibrating it super fast? let's try that with waterbending, it'll be cool

two different bad guys have been skipped across the water like a rock

i love the fake time lapse of cleaning the river... and it showed how with pollution in real life, stopping the source of the pollution is not enough. it needs to be removed as well

sokka deserves LOTS of credit just for being able to handle a boomerang.

GOD THE SLOW PAN OVER THE BEAUTIFUL SWORD (in 3:4)

sokka also deserves LOTS of credit for being able to admit he doesn't know everything.

i managed to forget that zuko turns his back on iroh, while remembering that at some point, iroh gets buff

the voice of sokka's master is the voice of the boulder. right? right? no? are you kidding me? i suck at this

seems like kissing azula would have immediate consequences, like something melting

zuko is poorly socialized

zuko still forgot that azula always lies. even when she's being somewhat humanized in an episode like this.

so avatar roku had earthly attachments he did not let go of, presumably. such as his wife. did he have unfettered access to the avatar state? that's what i would ask him during this expositionfest if i was aang.

so sozin could do heatbending... that's amazing. i think i missed that the first time around.

that's right, zuko came back and his hair is long enough, but he hasn't recreated his topknot.

hawky is the only atla animal that poops on camera.

if you're gonna bend sweat, you might as well bend spit, and it's a little easier to obtain

wait so... is combustion man also a heatbender? i'll have to look into it later. [looked into it later: the avatar wiki has termed it "combustionbending?" are you shitting me?]

ooh it's the bloodbending episode! i'm pumped.

someone made a post about how when they watched this show and they were a kid they were thinking about how the characters are hot, and now they're watching as an adult and the characters are all tiny children... that's how i've been feeling. also season 3 episode 8 aang's voice sounds a little bit pubertous.

anyway damn this bloodbending episode is outright traumatic. good shit

oh, now zuko's topknot is back.

appa's armor covers each individual toe <:3c

i seriously misremembered the course of zuko's character development. and the timeline of the invasion in general. but now i understand that zuko has to tell his dad to eat shit face to face.

watching zuko's "zuko here" practice speech hurts 100% as much as it did the first time i saw it. and when he's delivering it to the gaang it's impossible to watch. i didn't put my hands on my head-- they just went there unbidden.

i kinda can't help picturing dante basco's face every time i hear zuko talk. the whole time. it's sometimes not optimal to know the faces of voice actors. especially when you're like me and you're not good at pushing out unwanted mental images.

what the fuck, combustion man? he just loves assassination so much you can't take back any orders. also i can't help but imagine that if you put a slice across his third eye his combustion would be fully inhibited. well i guess that's not a problem anymore.

i like that the gaang are a variety of heights, and that they're all noticeably shorter than most of the adults they meet. it just makes it feel realistic

if it was a US max security prison and prisoners were escaping they'd probably just fucking murder them

i love how when mai starts up the gondola again and azula is like "what is she DOING!" and ty lee just makes an "iunno" noise

tfw your best friend abandons you because you wouldn't let her murder her own brother

chit seng didn't get to free his girlfriend and best buddy :(

funny how azula seems almost docile when she's getting everything she wants. typical narcissist. well ok not the least bit typical.

sokka ate the rose. i remembered this scene Too clearly. but i didn't remember that.

um... was that the full moon? when katara bloodbent that guy? i should've looked at the sky... i went back and looked and still didn't see if it was the full moon. maybe the wiki knows. i don't care enough to look it up properly.

i was wondering when the melon lord would show up

none of the teens understand the obvious solution of defeating the fire lord by beating him INTO SUBMISSION (or oblivion) instead of killing him. just like in every anime fight ever. it's over when you acknowledge you've lost or you can't fight anymore, not when you die. (for the #1 best example of ending a fight the right way, see the way luffy defeats crocodile.)

so i know aang's gonna defeat the fire lord by essentially hitting him with a forced purification beam to the face and make him realize the errors of his ways or something. the fun part is how we get there

bumi bending entire houses through the air

aw i forgot the turtle island didn't have a cute face.

jyong jyong firebent a jet platform to fly around on?!

i guess the firelord can fly around like bakugou katsuki

i forgot that aang took away his firebending... and sokka hops up to him like "well, look at you, buster"

i'm glad i decided to watch this again. even if i didn't do a great job paying attention tbh. well i did spend a bit of time carving a little wooden spoon while i was watching. anyway i was thinking i wouldn't move right on to korra but rather read some of the atla comics that i know exist but have never read whatsoever. i wonder if i can find them in some kind of library...

  i found the comics illegally on the internet and read a whole bunch (up until the end of the "zuko finds his mom" arc). i didn't write my thoughts down as i was reading, so i don't remember them. that's how my worthless brain works. i do remember that i found the comics satisfactory as an accurate extension of the show, and that i feel ambivalent about how azula is written/treated in the comics.

i don’t know if i feel like rewatching korra yet.

[princess-of-the-worlds]

dance with the devil

For Day Two of Klaroline AU Week 2019: Crossovers and Fusions.

Happy KC AU Week! @klaroline-events

This is for all the Lucifer fans and is based off this picspam I made several months ago.

***

ao3 link: here

word count: 1668

summary: Detective Caroline Forbes of the LAPD questions an eccentric nightclub owner who claims to be the devil, not knowing that he'll change her life.

***

LAPD clusters around the sidewalk, bright yellow caution tape separating the bullet-ridden, bloodsoaked body of the young blond from the public. Uniforms take statements from shock blanket-covered witnesses, and crime techs swarm the scene, picking up shards of glass and bullet fragments with tweezers and gloved hands.

As Caroline Forbes, formerly Forbes-Lockwood, approaches the scene, sensible boots tapping out a rhythm against the pavement, she eyes the bright flickering sign from the nearby nightclub The Abattoir. She’s immediately grateful for the sunglasses shielding her eyes, tossing her blond ponytail over her shoulder as she arrives besides her ex-husband Tyler.

“Care,” he says, greeting her with a civil nod. Their divorce was finalized two weeks ago, and based on the tightness of his jaw, he’s apparently still not over the fact that they now share custody of their seven-year-old daughter Lizzie.

“Detective Lockwood,” she replies coolly. “Fill me in.”

Tyler struggles not to sneer. He definitely used to be a lot more supportive before they separated. “It’s pretty basic.” He turns towards the body. “College student Camille O’Connell was leaving The Abattoir when she was gunned down by a nearby driver. Based on the cocaine we found in her pocket, she likely owed some low-level drug dealer some cash or something, which makes sense. She wasn’t exactly rolling in it.” He nods towards the nightclub. “O’Connell used to work here as a bartender. Maybe this is where she formed some connections.”

Caroline hums. “Any prime witnesses?”

“One. The nightclub owner.” Tyler grimaces. “Says his name is Niklaus Mikaelson.”

Following the slope of Tyler’s finger, Caroline eyes the man he’s pointing to. Niklaus Mikaelson is a mouthful of a name for a multifaceted man. At first glance, he looks nothing like the rich club owner he apparently is; dressed down in a Henley, dark jeans, and boots, a subtle string of wooden beads around his neck, he wouldn’t be out of place traipsing around in the woods. The devil, however, is in the details: if one looks more closely like Caroline is, they’ll spot the expensive authentic leather of his boots and the handsome Rolex around his wrist or the sleek smartphone he’s slipping from his pocket, a model that Caroline’s quite sure hasn’t even been released yet. Mikaelson is also undeniably pretty: expressive stormy eyes, a dimple grin, mussed sandy curls, lean but muscular.

“So,” is the first thing Caroline says to him as she arrives besides him, “Niklaus Mikaelson? Is that a stage name or something?”

Mr. Mikaelson shakes his head, eyes twinkling strangely. “God-given, I’m afraid.” He pauses, studying Caroline. “You know, you look familiar. Have we met before?”

No, they haven’t. He’s likely seen her in one of the few chick flicks that she starred in before she decided to follow her mother into law enforcement, but to keep his mind from wandering to the full-frontal nudity role that really made her stand out to the public, she quickly shakes her head. “Yeah, five minutes ago.” She purses her lips. “And I’m the one asking the questions.” When he hums in acknowledgement, she nods. “Tell me about your relationship with the victim.”

“Well,” Mr. Mikaelson says consideringly. “Cami used to work here a few years ago; she was trying to gain admittance into a prestigious undergraduate psychology program. She’d dropped out from college when she was younger to help her twin brother with some family problems. I pulled some strings.” He frowns. “She was about to graduate, so she came by to thank me.” His eyes flicker a shade darker. Caroline blinks, swearing she spots a glimmer of red in his pupils. “Then someone decided to end her life.”

Huh. So Mr. Mikaelson definitely had some personal investment here. Could he have been in a relationship with the victim? What kind of strings had he pulled for her?

“Did you know the shooter, Mr. Mikaelson?” Caroline asks.

He grimaces at the name. “Please, call me Klaus,” he requests with an easy smirk. “And no, but we did have an interesting little chat just before he kicked off.” His smirk becomes a bit subdued. “I asked him why he did.”

“Like to play cop, do you?” Caroline cocks a disbelieving eyebrow.

Klaus chuckles. “No, I like to play in general, Detective.” He eyes her form appreciatively and smiling amicably at her. “What about you?”

Caroline ignores his question, delving forward with her investigation.  “So you had a conversation with a dead guy?” She knows that it’s her case, that she’d insisted on it to Tyler, but why does she always interviewing the weird guys?

Frustratingly, Klaus shakes his head, but his eyes are still indecipherable. “Oh, no, he wasn’t quite dead.” He taps his elegant fingers along his upper thigh, drumming out a rhythm that only he seems to be able to hear or make sense of. “His soul hadn’t crossed the threshold.”

Seriously?

It takes all of Caroline’s willpower to keep her expression neutral and calm. “I see,” she replies sharply. “Did he tell you why he did it?”

The nightclub owner fixes her with an amused glance. “Why, money of course. You humans love your money.” He says it ever so strangely.

“Yes,” Caroline retorts, suddenly defensive. “Yes, we do.” She raises her chin pointedly. “And, uh, what planet are you from? London?”

To her surprise, Klaus tosses back his head and laughs full-bodied. The sound, although charming and handsome, catches the attention of several of the uniforms, and they turn to stare at them. Amongst them is Tyler. Caroline nearly flushes. “Yes,” Klaus admitted. “He also said, ‘I just pulled the trigger.’”

“Now, don’t you think that’s interesting?” She lifts her head, fixing Klaus with an appraising glance. “Cami was shot to death by a drug dealer and looks like Cami herself kept the guy pretty busy.” Her ponytail swings over her shoulder with her movements. “You know, it’s sad, it’s ugly, but it’s not rocket science. Something probably went south between them. She gets riddled with bullets, and a nice little act of God takes him out.”

Something dark passes over Klaus’s eyes, and his lips press together tightly, voice becoming strange. “You know, it doesn’t quite work like that, Detective,” he tells her.

Caroline hums, tapping her foot against the pavement. “It’s quite a neatly wrapped little present for the LAPD, don’t you think?” She raises a critical eyebrow. “Why don’t you tell me something?” She pauses. “How did she end up dying in a hailstorm of bullets, and you get away without a scratch? I think that’s interesting. Don’t you?”

“The benefits of immortality,” Klaus says.

“Immortality.” Dryly, Caroline shoots back, “Mm, of course. Uh, you spell that with one or two M’s? I always forget.”

“What will your corrupt little organization do about this?” Something about the way Klaus says it makes Caroline look at him strangely. There’s something off about it, something strictly non-human, but she can’t put her finger on it.

A moment later, she shrugs it off, shivering, and focuses on his question. “Excuse me?”

“Will you find the person responsible?” Klaus asks her directly. “Will they be punished? Will this be a priority for you?” He fixes her with a stern look. “Because it is for me.”

Under his gaze, Caroline bristles. “You’ve got some balls on you, pal.”

At her remark, he looks delighted, eyes twinkling, anger slipping away like mercury. “Oh, thank you very much, but they’re really...quite average.” He smirks.

“I bet.” Caroline allows an edge of steel to slip into her voice. She’s used to her colleagues and the public underestimating her as a woman and as a detective, but she won’t stand for it.

“Now, are you sure that we haven’t met?” Klaus ignores her warning. “I could swear I’ve seen you naked.” He looks considerate now. “Have we had sex?”

A wave of anger washes over her, her vision flashing red. “We’re done here.” Her boots scrape against the pavement as she storms away 

“Uh, Detective! Wait!” Klaus chases after her. “Someone out there needs to be punished,” he says as he catches up to her and matches her stride. Something about the way his accent caresses punished strikes her wrong. “We’re not done.”

Turning her back on him, Caroline peels off in the opposite direction, heading towards one of the uniforms. “Yeah,” she calls behind her. “Yeah, we are.”

***

If someone had told Caroline later that this was the moment her life would change, that this man, this nightclub owner, who looked like an angel, claimed to be the devil, and would sometimes smile like a demon would uproot everything she had ever known, she wouldn’t have believed them, but it would entirely be the truth.

Not much later, Klaus Mikaelson would show up everywhere on the Cami O’Connell case until they finally found the killer, a former classmate named Aurora de Martel. He would try his little “desire is my superpower” trick on her and fail, though he would somehow use it to trick Aurora into stuttering out her confession. Eventually, he would somehow convince Caroline’s boss, the police chief, into letting him become a consultant. Then she would see him every single day at work.

Soon, he would save her life over and over again while she danced around his flirtations and rolls her eyes at his claims of being devil, even when he introduces her to his bartender Marcel - apparently a demon - and his brother Elijah the angel. He would meet her daughter Lizzie and treat her better than even Tyler at times despite inching away desperately whenever she launched herself at him to hug him. He would belittle and irritate Tyler too, but both men would begrudgingly work together.

Unbeknownst to her - and to him, Caroline would fall in love with him and Klaus with her, and when he revealed his true devilish form to her and when she finally believed him, she wouldn’t recoil. 

Because she would be in love with the devil.

[zalrb]

TVD 3x01 Review

1. I find it hilarious during this recap when you hear Katherine’s voice “Does Elena enjoy having the two of you worship at her altar” the SE scene is mutual, with Elena and Stefan cuddling at the lakehouse and the DE scene is when Damon broke into Elena’s room and stroked her face as she slept.

2. JoMo doing an American accent is always weird. It doesn’t even look like he’s speaking, it looks like he’s mouthing the words and someone else is speaking.

3. “Kill this one quickly, make that one suffer.” TVD and their casual anti-blackness.

4. I feel like the song Elena wakes up to was in Grey’s. Probably.

5. I’ll do it for initiumseries: FORWOOOOOOOOOOD.

6. “Sleep in your dead parents’ room or my dead girlfriend’s...” NICE ONE, ALARIC. I’m telling you guys, John was the only real adult on this show.

7. I like how Damon stopped compelling Andie so that’s supposed to mean he’s a better person and it’s like, but their entire “relationship” was still predicated on him compelling her and feeding on her and using her as a soundboard for his stupid Elena “problems”. When Stefan kills her, I feel bad for her because she doesn’t deserve that but I do not feel bad for Damon and DErs who say that it’s comparable to Damon killing Lexi are ridiculous.

8. Also Damon purposefully showing up around Elena naked is not cute.

9. HIS HAIR IS SO STUPID.

10. Looking at Damon I’m just like LMAO remember that time those anons tried to argue with me about Ian being more jacked than Paul?

11. Also Elena actually just looks uncomfortable with him so close, she doesn’t look tempted or hot and bothered or seduced, she looks like he’s in her personal space.

12. “See you at the party...” Andie, you are a grown ass woman. You are a news anchor. Why would you even WANT to go to an 18 y/o girl’s birthday party?

13. The season they made Jeremy a dick to Bonnie. Ugh.

14. Awww Forwood denials. Their stares are so cute.

15. Cut your hair, Damon.

16. Seriously, cut your fucking hair.

17. I always thought Stefan’s ripper psychology with humanity was really interesting and we didn’t get into it enough.

18. “Just because I tell you things doesn’t mean you’re allowed to know them!” Seriously, Caroline was peak teen girl until about this season when she had nothing to do.

19. This Forwood scene always makes me giggle and feel super uncomfortable just because of the way Michael STARES at Candice.

20. “It’s like I can’t turn it off.” “...yeah.” Such the right amount of awkward.

21. Burning down a house isn’t covering tracks though? Just because the bodies are burnt doesn’t mean that the coroner can’t see that the victims’ heads were decapitated and or tell that they were dead before the fire started.

22. Or that the house was set fire because of arson.

23. Klaus looks so turned on at watching Stefan torture people. Jfc.

24. Paul also does a much better job at the emotionless/robotic soldier than Ian did.

25. “You saved my brother’s life, I’m in your service.” “Aw, you make it sound so tedious and indentured.” Klaus just wants you to love him, Stefan.

26. I’m not even going to get into the necklace scene because I get into it so many times: https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/148984820350/can-you-give-examples-of-delena-retconned-moments

https://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/168069600195/do-you-want-a-meta-on-why-its-earned-or-how-its

27. I will say that it’s honestly just such a flatly acted scene and Nina and Ian look stiff. There’s a reason why DErs cut the gifs of this scene

because when Elena looks at Damon full on, she’s dead in the face.

28. And Damon does not look age appropriate. At all.

29. “What’s got you on your spiral downward?” It’s a joint. It’s not like when he was a fucking drug dealer in season 1.

30. “I love high school parties.” Because you are a predator, Damon.

31. The cinematography for the Stefan-stalking-Andie scene is pretty good though.

32. “Well you’ve only said five words to me all summer and those were four of them.” Lol. I like Forwood but I did like Maroline too.

33. “What the hell??” I like how Tyler acts like he can’t just follow Sophie out of the party and continue the party with her at his house?

34. It would also be super weird for students to see one of their teachers at a party.

35. “You have to admit you’re kind of just letting your life pass you by.” I mean I get it but it’s also been 2 months of summer, Caroline. But I’ve always said that Caroline wasn’t really a fighter when it came to being IN relationships with the exception of Matt. Yes, I include Tyler in this too. As friends, she was a fighter but in a relationship, not so much.

36. “You want me to make a wish? I just want to know that he’s alive. That’s it.  That’s my wish.” And it came true :)

37. Those heels look awkward on Nina.

38. And this is the thing about Andie’s death. We saw Stefan shoot Elena up to a ferris wheel in season 2. We see them jump up onto a roof in season 5. Damon couldn’t jump up and get Andie? TVD is shitty with circumstances surrounding death which is why, I respect Stefan’s choice to save Matt in 3x22 but hate the execution of him saving her.

39. Matt: You’re more stoned than I am (even though Zach is acting drunk not high) Jeremy: But I’m a high functioning stoner.

40. “ExUSe me.” LOL I always think that part is hilarious.

41. “Stefan’s gone and he’s not coming back” *touches necklace* DE symbol my ass.

42. “You still care for your brother, for your old life.“ CAN’T YOU SEE I WANT YOU FOR MYSELF?

43. Alaric was being super selfish leaving them. Jenna was your sometimes girlfriend but she was their aunt and [shitty] guardian.

44. Those were shitty heels, man.

45. FORWOOD SEX. Steroline could never. Candice was not moaning like that with Paul. It was bad.

46. You know, instead of Damon trashing Stefan’s room what would’ve made him look better is him being with Andie’s body and mourning her.

47. Why does Stefan have a guitar in his room?

48. One of my favourite SE scenes. Legit it’s a beautiful scene. An entire episode of them being apart, of everyone telling Elena to give up, of Stefan seemingly uncaring, Elena nearly missing the call and then the breath of fresh air that comes with the call.

[psychospeak-blog]

Won’t Go Slowly // 27

A/N:   Shorter one that is 90% dog focused lol.

One // Two  // Three // Four // Five // Six // Seven // Eight // Nine // Ten // Eleven // Twelve // Thirteen // Fourteen // Fifteen // Sixteen // Seventeen // Eighteen // Nineteen// Twenty // Twenty One // Twenty Two // Twenty Three // Twenty Four // Twenty Five // Twenty Six

As much fun as it was to have your snow day outside, you were kind of liking this version too.  You were a little surprised when Marshall jumped up onto your couch and laid down, but you weren't about to tell him to get down, thinking that he might her his paw jumping off too.

So you curled up on the couch with him, watching movies while you sipped hot chocolate and looked at the snow outside.  He stayed on the couch when you made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, when Tyler called to let you know they were home and to check on Marshall.  You sat back down, slipping Marshall a couple bites of sandwich and holding your finger up to your mouth to let him know it was a secret, because his Dad would not be very happy knowing you were feeding him human food.  The good news was that he didn't seem to be acting like he was uncomfortable, although he seemed a little sleepier than usual, so you wondered if maybe he was in a bit of pain.   Then again, you were also having a lazy day, so maybe he was just enjoying that.

He did not judge you when you ate ice cream out of the cartoon, subtly trying to hold the cold container against his paw.  You tried to put an ice pack on it earlier, but he just kind of looked at you like you were insane, and he kept moving his paw so it kept falling off.  He big brown eyes looked up at you expectantly when you took another bite, and you rubbed him behind his ears.  "Sorry, you can't have any because it's got chocolate in it," you said, making a mental note to get some vanilla ice cream the next time you were at the store.  When you took him out when you started feeling sleepy, holding his collar as he jumped off the couch to try and guide him, you were a little hesitant about him navigating the snow, but he seemed to cope alright, just moving a little more slowly than normal.  You thought about trying to sleep with him on the couch, but when you came back in, he limped a little towards your bedroom, like he seemed to know it was bedtime.  

He stood around watching you as you brushed your teeth and washed you face, and you thought about making him a bed on the floor next to your bed, wondering if you could take a few cushions off the couch to make sure he was comfortable, but he limped a couple times towards the bed when you came out of the bathroom and then jumped onto the bed before you could stop him. So you let him stay, curling up with your pregnancy pillow that Tyler must have put back on your bed for you, and Marshall stretched out with his back across the side of it, so you could pet him until you fell asleep.  When you got up the next morning, he wasn't limping anymore, but you figured you should still take him to the vet to get checked out.  The good news was that he didn't seem to need any help getting in or out of your car, but he did bury his face in your lap the entire time at the vet, and gave you the most pathetic look when they took him back to get an x-ray.

You were now sitting on the couch with him, waiting for Tyler to call you as he said he would when he got home from practice.  When your phone rung with a Facetime request, Marshall lifted his head up to look at the source of the noise. "Is that your Dad?" you asked, petting him on the head.  "He wants to see how you are."

Tyler's face appeared on your screen, and he smiled when you assumed he must have seen you.  He looked to be in a similar position on the couch, only with Cash instead. You grabbed the remote with your other hand, pausing the movie you were watching.

"Hey, how are you?" he said, and when you answered 'good', he immediately asked, "How's he?"

"He's fine," you said quickly, thinking that Tyler must be anxious, even though you'd been updating him and letting him know that Marshall's limping was getting better, and that he seemed to have no trouble this morning. "She said his range of motion was good, and he isn't favoring it any more and it's not tender to the touch."

"Hmmm.." Tyler said.

"Yeah, they took x-rays too, but they were normal," you said, petting Marshall behind the ears as he rested his head in your lap, "She just said to bring him back in if he starts doing it again.  But he should be fine."

"Uh," you watched as Tyler took his hat of his head, ran his fingers through his hair, and then replaced it, "Where did he sleep last night?"

"What?" you asked, shaking your head a little in confusion, "in bed with me.  Why?"

"He's faking it."

"What? Tyler, I don't think he's faking it," you said,  "He probably just twisted it and it was sore. Why would he fake it?"

"So he could stay with you!" Tyler said, his arm flailing out to the side, in disbelief.  And then his eyes focused, saying seriously, "Marshall.  Marshall."

You looked down at the dog, unmoving from where his head was set in your lap.

"See? He won't even look at me," Tyler said, like this proved everything.

"Well, he's a dog, Tyler, he doesn't understand a phone," you said.

"Babe, he played us."

You looked down in disbelief at the dog snuggled up against you.  He was pretty smart, actually, but this seemed crazy.  And you'd never seen him even remotely fake an injury before.

"I thought you wanted one of the dogs to stay with me," you said.

"I did, but I didn't think like this," he said, "I was worried.  Did you think I trained my dog to fake limp just as we had to leave? I wish I was as smart as him. Like, I don't even know if I should be mad at him, or impressed that my dog is an evil genius. Is it behaving himself at least?"

"Yes," you said, and Tyler sighed, "What?"

"You're babying him, aren't you?" Tyler said, and then squinted towards the screen a little,  "Is that peanut butter on his nose?"

You looked down, wiping off what was indeed peanut butter of Marshall's nose.  "He had a hard day, he had to go the vet."

"Well, he wouldn't have had to have gone to the vet if he didn't fake a injury," Tyler said, and then he made an 'oof' sound as you saw a flash of yellow before the phone tumbled to the floor.  "Hey, that's not nice," Tyler said, and you laughed because you could only imagine what happened.  

"Sorry," Tyler said when he picked up the phone again, extending a hand out of the screen, and then making a dejected face.  "Gerry's pissed," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Because Marshall got to stay and he didn't," Tyler said, like it was obvious, "He hasn't talked to me since we left."

"Does he usually talk to you?" you asked with your eyebrows raised.

"You know what I mean," he said, with a roll of his eyes.  "He's acting like a teenager."

You laughed, turning to lie down a bit on the couch changing positions because your arm was getting tired , Marshall sitting up on the couch to make room for you and then laying down again once you were situated.

"Whatcha guys doing?" Tyler asked.  

"We're watching a movie," you said, snuggling into the couch so your arm was against Marshall, and when Tyler asked which one, you answered, " What to Expect When You're Expecting."

Tyler nodded.  "And? You learning anything?"

You shook your head.  You had thought it would just be a funny, lighthearted and related movie, but it was kind of stressing you out.  You hadn't even bought things yet yourself for the baby, you only had what Tyler had sent you as a gift because you were thinking it wasn't time yet.  But this movie was kind of making you think you needed to start buying things like yesterday, and you'd found yourself repeatedly scrolling through your phone browsing baby stores, returning to watch the movie, and then repeating the process.  "I think I need to buy a crib."

"Well, yeah..." Tyler said with a bit of a laugh, "Where else is the baby going to sleep?"

"I was going to have him in a bassinet in my room," you said, "Or I might have him in bed with me. I haven't decided yet."  That was another thing you needed to do: research co-sleeping.

You sighed again, taking the hair band you had wrapped around your wrist and tying your hair back, because it kept falling in your face, and that was pissing you off.  "This movie is stupid."

"Well, good thing you were just watching it until I got home, and now we can watch Grey's," Tyler said, and you smiled a little, lips pursued together as you reached for the remote.  "Hey, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said, settling a hand on your belly. "It just seems like a lot of....stuff."  You'd made yourself so busy with work, trying to make the time pass by, that you hadn't even thought about needing to buy baby stuff.  It wasn't like you needed to rush, there was still a good 4 months left, but you were kind of thinking it might be close to time.

"Well, you'll get a ton of that shit at your baby shower, won't you?" Tyler asked.

Your hand instantly went to your face, looking at him through the phone.  "What baby shower?" you asked, and he shook his head like he had no clue, "Tyler, what baby shower?"

"I mean, isn't that something people do before you have a baby? I'm just assuming that someone may love you enough to throw one for you."

And you swore to god, if he tried to throw you a baby shower, you might die.  He was notoriously terrible at putting together any sort of party.  "What are you plotting?" you asked apprehensively.

"Me?  Oh no, nothing. Don't worry," he said, "But some women in your life, who have much better taste than I do, might be planning something.  And it might be in March, so you might want to hold off on buying any baby paraphernalia until then.  Maybe."

You smiled, because you hadn't even thought about baby showers, but of course you were having one.  "Okay, but I still have to set up his room and stuff.  I think I'm going to start looking at furniture and everything when I'm on Christmas break.  Like he's not even going to be in there, but I think he should have a room when he gets here."

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, "Are you going to do a theme?"

"I don't....think so," you said, "It's not even like he'll even be able to tell me what he likes, so it's really just for me.  I was just thinking like, blue and grey maybe?  And some outdoorsy stuff? There's a lot of really cute dog stuff, though. Like there's this swing that was a dog on it and I really want it."  It was also blue and grey, and it may have inspired the whole colour palette.

Tyler laughed.  "Is Marshall brainwashing you? Is the whole room gonna be dogs?"

"No, because I don't even know if he likes dogs," you said.  Your whole plan was to keep the baby room as simple as possible, so you could redo it once he got older and you knew what he was into.  So, maybe just blue and grey with some outdoorsy and dog accents.  And then you took a sharp inhale.  "What if he's allergic to dogs? And I buy him things that have dogs on them?"

"He's not going to be allergic to dogs," Tyler laughed.

"How do you know?" you said, looking at the dog who was next to you on your couch, your eyes widening when you realized that you might have to have your entire house cleaned now.

"Because I'm not allergic and you're not allergic," he said, "And, you know, even if the kid is allergic, he's not going to have a reaction because he has a picture of a dog hanging on his wall or whatever, you know."

Well, now that he said that, it seemed a little silly.  

"I think I may have freaked out a little bit," you confessed.

"Ya think?" Tyler grinned, "Anyways, if you want to make up your mind, and order that stuff over Christmas, I can help you set it up over bye week."

"What?" you asked.

"Bye week," he said, "It's a week where we don't have any games.  When you don't play a game when you could compete but you're skipping the game, it's called a bye."

"I know what a bye week is," you said, and he shrugged like he really didn't know if you knew, "Aren't you supposed to go on a trip?"

"Yeah, I am.  I'm coming to Toronto."

You rolled your eyes, "I mean like a vacation. Not assembling furniture."

"C'mon, it'll be fun," he said, "You can just sit there and tell me what to do.  I know how much you love to do that."

"Tyler, you don't have to do that on your time off," you said.  

"I was going to come home, anyways," he said, "And what am I going to do while you're at work?   How long are you working for anyways?"

"Until he comes, I guess.  Or I can't move anymore," you said.  You most definately were not teaching in the winter semester, so you would not have that to worry about.  "And you could go golfing."

"In January?  It'll be snowing."

"You could go to a place where it is not snowing," you said.

"Nuh-uh, sorry.  Tickets are already booked," he grinned, even though you were suspicious.  "You have no choice. You need me.  Do you know anyone else as strong as me?"

"You really don't have to, Tyler."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to," he said, "You, of all people, should know that. We'll get the furniture moved and the painting and stuff done, and then you girls can do the decorations."

"Okay," you said, realizing that there was no way you were going to convince him otherwise.  It would be nice, too, to have all the big stuff down in the room in January, so you could just spend the next few months doing all the little touches and organizing.  "That'd be really helpful.  Thank you."

"Mhmm.." he replied, like it would be no big deal at all, "Can we watch Grey's now, or are you not done freaking out yet?"

"I'm okay," you said with a laugh, laying down on the couch now, and Marshall took the opportunity to lick your face.  "I should take him out though first.  Can I call you back in 10 or 15 minutes?" You weren't sure entirely how far you'd be able to get with him, but you'd figured you should try.  "Actually, no, I need to make food first, too.  Can you wait half an hour?  Are you going anywhere?"

Tyler laughed, "Nah, I'll try to take these guys out too, Gerry needs an outlet for his frustration.  Just call me when you're ready," he said, "Be careful, though."

"I thought you were convinced his paw was fine," you said, rousing Marshall by scratching his head. "Do you want to go outside?"

"I am," he said, "I mean you be careful.  Don't let him pull you over."

"He won't pull me over," you said, looking at Marshall's deep brown eyes.  You'd doubt you even need to put a least on him at all, other for the fact that it was the law.

"Yeah, you're right, he won't," Tyler said, "But if I don't answer when you call, could you please call the cops? Gerry might try to drag me and Cash to Canada."

You laughed, hanging up and going on a gentle walk with Marshall, who showed absolutely no signs of discomfort, matching your slow pace.  And then you made yourself a grilled cheese with mustard and chips on the side, watching about three episodes of Grey's with Tyler over the phone.  

And, before you went to bed, you ordered the puppy swing.  And a matching bouncer.

**

You'd already gotten all the ingredients out for gingerbread cookies (and snuck a handful of chocolate chips in your mouth) when you heard a knock at your front door, your sister here for your annual Christmas baking marathon.  And, the snow had just started falling again, so it was pretty perfect.  Marshall jumped off the couch, going towards the front door, and then looking back at you, sniffing at the corner of the closed door, like he was trying to figure out who was on the other side.

"Look out," you said, opening the door slowly to avoid smashing him in the nose, and Marshall stepped out as soon as he could, sniffing your sister's leg, his tail wagging.

"Hi, how are you?" she said, crouching down to pet the lab, and then looking up at you, "Which one is this one again?"

"Marshall," you said, and he looked up at you and backed up back into the house, like that was what you were telling him to do, his tail still wagging. At least now your sister could come in and you could shut the door.

"Hi Marshall," she said, and he wagged his tail more, definately soaking up all the individual attention he was getting.  "Where are the others?"

"With Tyler.  In Dallas," you said, smiling as you felt the baby kick again, your hand going to your belly.  He was doing that more and more now, mostly when you were laying down, but the sugar in the chocolate chips you'd eaten had definately perked him up.  Marshall pushed his nose against your leg.  Somehow, he always seemed to know when the baby kicked, or he picked up on your reaction, usually licking your face if you were laying down.  It was pretty precious, even though you weren't 100% sure what was making him do it.   In your mind, he just knew the baby was kicking.

"He gave you his dog again?" Nicole asked, taking off her coat and boots.

"No, he did not give me his dog," you said, walking towards the kitchen.  

"Oooh, that's adorable," Nicole said, looking at the swing you had set up in your living room, only because the baby's room was still your office, and there was too much furniture in there to try and fit it in, and you couldn't resist setting it up.  You could probably collapse it now, but you kind of liked looking at it.  And, Marshall would sometimes bump it with his body when he walked by, which was pretty cute too.

"Isn't it?" you said, leaning over to pet Marshall as he circled around your leg.

"So, why is he here then?" she asked.

"He hurt his leg at Thanksgiving and Tyler was worried about him flying," you said.

"Oh," she said with concern, petting the dog once more, "What happened?"

"Well, nothing," you said.  You'd been taking him for longer walks now, and he definately had no ill effects.  "We think he was faking it."

"What?" she asked with a laugh of disbelief, and you sighed.

"Tyler thinks he was faking it so he could stay with me. He was fine after the first day."

"So why doesn't he go home then?" she asked.

"Because he had to wait to fly back with Tyler after Christmas."

She gave you an interesting look.  "You know dogs can fly by themselves, right?  If they're crated?  Tyler hasn't asked for him back?"

"No," you answered, "He asked if I wanted one of them to stay with me to keep me company when he left at the end of summer.  I don't think he minds."

"Hmmm..." Nicole said.

"Nicole, he's a good dog owner," you said, "he's not trying to get rid of his dogs."

"Oh, I know," She said, her eyes twinkling like she knew something you didn't, "I know he's obsessed with them.  Which means he must think you're something pretty special if he's offering to leave one with you."

"The dog was limping, Nicole," you said.

"Not in September, he wasn't," she said, "And Tyler could have left the dog with his Mom, or his sisters, or another friend."

"I was at his house," you said, "And I watch the dogs all the time.  I know them."

"Mhmm..." she said doubtfully, "And when you're staying at his house, where do you sleep exactly?"

You turned your attention to the cookies, wanting to get them started and get off this topic of conversation, "Oh, come on, Nicole, how many times have you slept in the same bed as your guy friends?"

"Not ones who gave me their dogs," she quipped.

"Because he's nice, Nicole, okay?" you said.  "He's not an asshole like you think.  He was just being considerate." It came off a little harsher than you intended, but you were getting kind of tired of your sister judging him without warrant.

"Yeah, yeah, actually he is," she said softly, "I was...kind of wrong about him?  He called me."

You froze, turning around slowly, because that was news to you, "He called you? Why?"

"Well, he didn't really say much.  I think he was just calling to see how I was with..." she paused, gesturing at your belly, "It was kind of like he thought it was a nice idea to call me, but he didn't really know what to say.  It was nice though.  Especially after I yelled at him. He didn't tell you?"

You shook your head 'no', your heart swelling just a little bit more.

"Shit, that makes it even better now," she said, and then she swallowed, "It seems like...there's not something more going on between you? He seems to really like you..  Like, more than himself, which is saying a lot."

"Of course he likes me. We've known each other for a long time," you explained, "We're friends."

"Who sleep in the same bed and share dogs?"

"Yes, Nicole, friends watch each others dogs for them.  Now, can we change the topic?" you asked, "Like, maybe we could talk about that baby shower you're planning for me?"

Nicole looked at your grinning face, and then sighed.  "Okay, I take it all back.  He's an asshole."

[vickypoochoices]

A New Chapter part 8.

[MASTERLIST.]

Part 7 [B].

8 Years later.

'No way is Uncle Tyler the best, he's such a loser!'

'You only like Uncle Zack so much because he buys you toys to keep you sweet.'

'Uhh actually, he buys me toys because I'm his Godchild, and we all know that means I'm his favourite.'

'Oh whatever, keep your stupid toys. Next time you need help with your homework don't ask Uncle Tyler, I'll be telling him what you said.'

'Oooo I'm scared. You are such a suck up and a teacher's pet!'

'Now what's all this about you two?'

'Dadddyyyyyyyy!' The two girls squealed excitedly, both running over to Zig and clawing at his legs, desperate to be picked up.

Effortlessly he picked one up in each arm, holding them firmly to his chest as they both squeezed him, holding on tightly.

'You weren't arguing again were you?' He tried his hardest to make his tone stern, something he had always struggled with. His girls had him wrapped around their little fingers and they all knew it.

'Luna started it.'

'No you started it Louisa.'

'You're the one that said Uncle Tyler was a loser.'

'I wasn't starting anything, I was just telling the truth.'

Zig shook his head as he listened to the constant flow of snipes coming out of his daughter's mouths.

Luna was now 8. She was Zig's double look wise, but she had her mother's attitude. She was so sure of herself, confident and way more sassy than any other 8 year old he'd ever seen. Sometimes it felt like they were living with a full on teenager already.

Just two years separated Luna and her sister Louisa, and although they shared the same looks, that's where the similarities ended.

Often people mistook Louisa as being the older sibling, based purely on her personality. She was hands down the smartest 6 year old Zig had ever met. Her head was constantly buried in a book, she was top of most of her classes. She was especially good with numbers, taking after Zig by excelling in her maths class.

Zig knew he was blessed to have two beautiful daughters. But he loved how completely different they were. Yet that did make life somewhat difficult at times. Though the girls constantly squabbled, it went without saying they loved each other. Luna in particular had inherited that fiercely protective trait from her father. Taunting and teasing was all well and good when it came from her, but she didn't hesitate to give a little attitude to anyone at school who dared to mock her little sister for being the massive nerd that she was. Not that she would ever let Louisa in on that little secret.

As both girls voices grew increasingly louder, Zig finally lowered them both to the ground.

'Girls, I know how to settle this for you both.'

They both turned to him, eyeing him skeptically.

'Who tucks you in at night and reads you bedtime stories? Who checks your closet every night for monsters? Who sneaks chocolate into your rooms and hides it under the pillow? Who gives the best hugs known to man?'

'Eurgh Daddy, are you really doing this?' Luna peeked down at her nails, feigning disinterest. Zig suppressed the urge to laugh at her, once again acting older than her years.

'Okay but most importantly, who's going to take you both out today shopping. Anything you want, you've got it.'

'Anything?' They both crossed their arms, staring him down. For all their differences, they knew how to work together when they wanted to. He gulped, mentally cursing to himself. He should have known better than to try and outwit his daughters, he was no match for them. God knows how much today was going to cost him!

'That all depends. Who's the best? Uncle Tyler? Uncle Zack?'

Luna and Louisa shared a knowing look, turning back to him with the sweetest smiles they could muster.

'Oh no Daddy, you are most definitely the best!'

*** With every mile that passed, the feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach grew more intense. Zig knew he'd be in the doghouse for a while after this little escapade. How was it possible that these two tiny humans had so much control over him?

Checking his mirror, he could see Luna and Louisa still beaming at each other and excitedly nattering away. It was moments like this that meant everything to Zig. The little things. As long as his girls were happy, nothing else mattered.

After pulling up on the drive, he walked around the car to Louisa's side, unclipping the harness of her car seat and helping her out of the car. Of course she was more than capable, but Zig couldn't kick the habit. To him they were both still his babies, and he knew Louisa would indulge him more so than Luna. Never the less, after setting Louisa down, he rounded on the other side of the car, only to find the door popping open and Luna stepping out herself.

'I'm 8 Daddy, I don't need your help anymore!'

Her words stung just a little despite them being glaringly obvious.

'Okay, okay!' He raised his hands in mock surrender, then rushed forward, sweeping her off the ground and spinning her round and round in circles.

'Daddddyyyyyy! Stoppppp!' Luna gasped in-between giggling.

After a few more rounds of spinning, he slowed to a stop, still holding her close.

'You know you'll never be too old for my help right?' Holding her at arm's length, he searched her eyes, willing her to understand that this was him playing the serious Dad card for once, and hoping she'd always take him for his word.

She managed a sheepish smile, before shaking her head side to side and rubbing her nose affectionately against his.

Zig felt his heart melt, very much aware of how much his eldest daughter disliked any public show of affection. Inside the house she'd cuddle up to him constantly, but she was always on edge outside, not wanting to be outed as a softie.

'Ready to face Mummy then kids?'

Louisa placed her hand in Zig's.

'Good luck Daddy.'

'Thanks princess, I'll definitely need it!'

*** Luna and Louisa went on ahead, running circles around their mother excitedly.

'There's my girls! Don't tell me you've talked Daddy in to another shopping trip again?'

Luna mimed zipping her mouth closed, whilst Louisa turned her attention back to Zig who was hanging back, partially hidden behind the kitchen door.

'Wow, you girls must have outdone yourselves this time on picking out the most annoying toy if Daddy is too scared to even bring it in the house.'

'We didn't get any toys this time Mummy.' Louisa replied, sitting down out of view behind Zig.

Glaring at Zig, she swept her hand through her hair as she tried to stay calm in front of the kids.

'I thought we had a conversation about them not getting phones until they are way older. I'm serious, I didn't have a phone until I was like 14.'

'Daddy didn't buy us phones. But FYI I'm not waiting until I'm 14 for a phone.' Luna butted in before Zig could respond.

'FYI, I'll make it 18 if you don't cool it with the sass young lady.'

Suddenly a tiny yelp came from behind Zig.

Unsure where to look, Zig nervously rubbed the back of his head and took a step forward, pulling a small cage out from it's hiding place behind him.

'ZIG! A puppy? You bought the girls a puppy? Seriously?' He could tell she was struggling to reign her temper in.

'Umm no.'

Raising her eyebrow she scoffed 'Really, because from where I'm standing that's exactly what it looks like.'

'I mean yes, I did buy a puppy. But not necessarily just for the girls. Come on, you always said you wanted a family pet. What better time than now?'

With her arms crossed firmly against her chest, she stared him down until he couldn't take it anymore. Bending down, he opened the cage and gently lifted the small golden retriever up towards her.

Noticing her hesitate, he pushed the puppy close to her face, until the dog started licking her repeatedly.

After a minute or two of puppy kisses, she set the dog down on the floor, trying her hardest to stop herself from smiling but failing. Who can stay mad when puppy kisses are involved?

'Okay girls, go and take your new present in the living room and think of a name.'

They both skipped off down the hallway, immediately raising their voices as they began an argument over what the puppy should be called, the dog obediently bounding after them.

Her attention immediately turned to the washing machine as she began pulling out garments, folding them, and placing them into a neat pile.

'You really think it's the best time to bring a dog into this family?' She sighed, not looking up from the task in hand.

'We've always talked about getting one, and you saw how happy the girls are. So sure, why not babe?'

She swept her hand up and down her body, before gesturing furiously towards her middle.

'How about the fact we've already recruited one new member for the Ortega family this year.'

Zig bit down on his bottom lip guiltily as he watched his pregnant wife increase her folding pace as she grew more and more agitated. They hadn't planned this baby at all, although Zig had made no secret of the fact he wanted a big family, four at least. She was quite happy to settle on two, hating how badly her body reacted to pregnancy. Things had been different this time though. No morning sickness and no complications so far, and she was pleasantly surprised to find herself enjoying it this time around.

Placing his hand upon hers, she stilled, one of the girls leggings dropping to the floor. Resting a hand to her bump, his thumb slowly brushed back and forth over the thin cotton of her baggy maternity top.

'I'm sorry gorgeous, I just couldn't say no to those girls. The way their eyes lit up when they saw that little guy, what kind of a father would I be to crush their dreams like that?'

She raised an eyebrow in response.

'Don't you think you're being a tad over dramatic?'

Pulling her close, one hand on her hip, the other on her shoulder, he guided her into a little dance, making a show of twirling her at the end.

'Who, me?' He gave her an innocent look, before brushing his lips against hers.

'Fine. The dog stays. But you hear me now Zigmund Ortega, any mess in this house and it's your job to clean up. The walks are all on you, and don't even think about letting him sleep in the bed with us!' She pointed a finger sternly in his direction, eventually jabbing it at his chest.

'Yes Ma'am.'

Returning to the laundry, Zig noticed a familiar baby vest amongst the pile. Holding it out to her, she nodded in recognition.

'How sure are you this time?'

Clutching the vest and inhaling the fresh scent, he smiled at the strong emotions it evoked as he read over the wording 'Daddy's Girl', remembering fondly how he had gone back to buy it, hiding it in his car until Luna's arrival. Both Luna and Louisa had worn the garment as their 'coming home' outfit when they left hospital, and now he mulled over the idea of a third girl wearing it.

'I think girls is what we're good at.'

'I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Kinda feels strange doing this gender reveal thing now after two surprises.'

'You know how persuasive the girls are. It makes no difference to me though, but I do think Luna and Louisa will need the time to adjust to the idea of another girl if those balloons rain pink confetti tomorrow. They are really digging the idea of a baby brother.'

'Hmm yeah, that would be a change. It would be kind of nice to have two of each wouldn't it?'

Pulling her close to his chest by gently tugging on her wrist, he raised his eyebrows.

'Two of each huh?' Smirking, he brushed away a stray piece of hair.

'If you play your cards right.' She bit down on her bottom lip suggestively. Zig closed the space between them but found himself frowning as she giggled and backed away from him.

'It's awfully quiet. Either they've legit killed each other, or they've settled on the name Sir Fluffsalot. Let's go find out which one.'

*** The next day everyone excitedly gathered in the back yard for the gender reveal.

'Look at my baby boy all grown up! I may have been wrong the last two times, but I am certain there's a little grandson coming my way!' Linda pinched Zig's cheeks roughly.

'We'll see Mum.'

'Are we going with Zigmund Junior?' Zig clocked the look of panic cross his wife's face at the suggestion.

'If we have a boy, Ernesto, Emilio or Alexander are all contenders. Looks like it's time to find out!' Pecking her on the cheek, he jogged over to his wife's side, next to a large balloon.

'Ready baby?' 'Ready!' Hands raised in unison, they eagerly poked the balloon, blue confetti instantly scattering as an erruption of cheers started. 'Looks like 2 of each is on the cards babe!'

@zigortega4life @indiacater @emerald-bijou @brightpinkpeppercorn @fancyanatomyeyescookie

Thank you for the name suggestions, i've included at least one from every person that commented!