#Alex be like not this shit show again

[galeemdoesart]

A little foreplay doesn't hurt anybody

IT'S FINALLY DONE!! This took way longer than it should have lol I thought animatics were quick and easy ;')

Anyways, I hope you like this little blorbo of mine. I had alot of fun making it especially the expressions! I like making "ugly" expressions, makes it seem more raw and real. I wanted to edit the audio a bit to make it more punchy but too tired....

Creator: (18) Danny Phantom exe - YouTube

Original Audio: Are they Enemies OR Lovers??? (youtube.com)

[a-crystalclearsquid]

some of you have never lived with a family member whose whole personality is taylor swift and i live with 2 of them and every fucking dinner we get together there's always that white ass loser slipping in in the conversation and you can't do anything about it lest the both of them go against you

[brittlebutch]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

[fins0up]

GRAAAHHHH I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE MINECRAFT MOVIE I HAVE TO I HAVE TO!!!

(Small disclaimer: I don't blame any of the underpaid and overworked writers & animators. They deserved better than this slop, I'm sure of it.

like the general public, I too despise the trailer. Let me just start with the trailer itself.

1.) Love how you can tell where the fucking green screen is. /sarc. Also the line "This guy is such a toolbag" they give her feels not only millennial, but fucking stupid jesus christ. You could've made a block joke there like. "...This guy is such a blockhead." "Yeah everything's made of blocks here." Or something AT LEAST TRYYY GUYYYSSS...

2.) The artstyle I know everyone talks about it but the FUCKING ARTSTYLE OH MY GOOODDDD IM DYING why has literally no one talked about the wolf though LIKE???

why is the wolf's body literally discord shaped. Why is Built like That. What the fact did they do to you??? Like, I just... I hate the combination of the realism and the blocks like??? JUST MAKE IT FULLY BLOVKY???? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIIIISSSSS GOD it's so fucking uncanny I hate it. I hate it so.

3.) Love the whitewashed Steve /sarc. Fr though, are we surprised? I hate that Jack Black of all people is playing him like guys that was a joke people was making. Are y'all able to understand jokes? Or understand what a pos Jack Black is? Jesus fuck gamers he's not only ableist (supports Autism Speaks) but a zionist as well. But besides that Steve feels like. Hold on.

Look at Steve. If he actually existed in the real world, I have a feeling he would be muscular (because he mines, builds, + farms like all day), and probably somewhere around his 20's-30's. You're telling me that Jack Black, an actor + musician who's in his 50's. Like, this isn't to say that Steve wouldn't have some tummy fat at all, he probably would! But like... Jack Black just doesn't... feel like Steve at all. Jack Black is like the exact opposite.

There's just like this... massive, icky vibe about the entire trailer that makes me hate it. I think it's a mixture of the live action "isekai" shit with the like... blocky textures that makes everything uncanny and gross to look at. And it feels like rather than taking the concept and saying "Hey, since the experience is so varied, let's take multiple characters and storylines and take proper care of each to tell a different story of the same game" (like Fallout the Show) they're just like, "Eh... I mean... I'm sure the Isekai trope will work again."

Not only that, but like over all it feels like rather than looking and seeing this game and being able to "laugh with" Minecraft fans (side note: I wouldn't mind Minecraft being comedic, admittedly, a block world is a fucking ridiculous concept. But, I'd still say keep the same sentiment that the game has which is, "You can build your own version of the world from the ground up, you are the master of your destiny") they're looking at it like that one mom from that AITA post and saying, "This is ridiculous and childish. Why do you like this? It's stupid. It's just some game about blocks."

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that fans can't be picky about videogame movies/tv shows at all. Because I enjoyed the Mario movie, despite some fans hatred of it. I can't ignore the fact that videogame movies tend to be 50/50 on how fans will react to them. But still, really? This is what you guys have to show after 10 years? This is what we get? It feels like a punch in the gut, dude. I hate so much. I can't stop thinking about it.

[siilvan]

i am once again disappointed but not surprised at the COD fandom only caring about “sensitivity” when it’s convenient for them

[numbuh424]

I don't know if anyone else will appreciate this but if there are any other Death Note fans out there who also enjoy the TV show Taskmaster I am making a DN on Taskmaster AU so self-indulgent and I am pleading that you make yourselves known to me cause I can't be alone in this

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Ngl youtube videos suddenly got me slowly turning into a Justin Russo hater.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad

[winchesternova-k]

it’s late and i just finished resident evil 7 so this isn’t going to be super coherent or fleshed out but like… idk i just feel sorry for eveline? like yes what she did is completely and utterly fucked up but she’s a child and maybe could’ve been guided to make better choices if someone in her life had actually cared abt her? she’s literally 10 and she’s spent her whole life in a lab ofc that would give her fucked up morals? idk man i just felt sad for her and for the bakers (ngl i had a hard time feeling sorry for mia after its revealed she worked in bio weapons and that eveline viewed her as family and that was not returned. obviously that doesn’t make what happened okay but like,,, this was the least sympathetic way they could’ve done it)

this isn't criticism btw. i just feel like i got smth v different out of the game than the devs intended. idk maybe it's be i like monsters and redemption arcs or maybe it's be i know how it feels to be a child feeling unwanted but i just felt like they could've at least tried getting through to her/teaching her morals instead of mia just... telling a 10 yr old she hates her and is going to kill her (and THEN going after her if/when that fails). AGAIN eveline's actions were fucked up! but considering the environment she was raised in was likely similar to umbrella that's not exactly surprising.

also the way they repeatedly called a ten yr old a bitch was frankly disturbing. esp since the first chronological occurrence of this was by a caretaker who had no real reason. ten yr olds throw tantrums! the reasonable response is discipline not calling them a misogynistic insult! her reaction was disproportionate but again she is a superpowered 10 yr old w/o any ethical/moral lessons instilled in her.

[soullessjack]

every day I remember that this fandom simply does not care about autistic people and, much like every other fucking thing I experience as an autistic person, the concept of it being a collective found family becomes increasingly alien to me. love this place.

[blunderpuff]

i was friends with a Stage Manager who let me watch a production of Peter Pan from the booth (and this was a Professional Production where cheap seats started at like $60 and the prices for better seats were astronomical). So when Tinkerbell drinks the poison for Kuzco Peter, Peter screams for the audience to clap to bring her back.

However. This was an expensive production. No one really brought kids young enough to get into this (usually the Under 10s). There were fewer than 15 kids in the audience, and about only 20 people clapped when Peter begged them to. And since so few people were clapping, they all stopped pretty quickly because they were embarrassed to be the only person around themselves who was clapping.

So Peter Pan is on stage, desperately repeating lines, and no one is clapping and it's horrifying, and then it gets worse because the Assistant Stage Manager realizes that literally the rest of the scene hinges on Tink "getting better", so she starts clapping (from the stage right wing), and then there's more clapping from behind the scenery, because the props and costume crew start clapping and it's just... it was so weird. it was awful. the audience NEVER got into it, so there's just disembodied clapping coming from behind the scenery, and Tink "gets better" and the show goes on, but you can bet your whiskers the whole crew was like "WTF was that?!?!?!" at the end of the night

I love when fiction makes the audience feel guilty about their role as the audience. When something fucked up is treated as a joke but later it's recognised how fucked up it was and the audience feels guilty for finding it funny. When a character breaks the fourth wall to plead for help, and you can't do anything so you just watch. And you know that the characters pain isn't real, but they're begging for help and you're not helping because their suffering is entertainment for you

[weirdgirlvampire]

Ok I finished reading the book again and my opinion still stands. It’s a fun read but the last third is just. Not good.

[no-144444]

3 minutes- l.norris

summary: lando overshoots an overtake, and you go off the track. what then ensues is the most stressful and awful 3 hours of his life.

pairing: lando norris x fem! rbdriver! reader

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He overshot it, and you were off the track. 

“Fuck!” he screamed, looking in his mirrors. “Is she ok?” 

“Red flag, red flag! No info yet Lando, keep going-”

“Is she getting out of the fucking car?!” he screamed. Everything was too much, too fast, too difficult. Every single person in the stands was silent, or maybe his brain was just filtering it out. He couldn’t hear anything, just his own voice, his own breath, and the beat of his own heart in his ears. He needed information, he needed to know that you were walking out of the car. He needed to know you weren’t dead. He needed to know if he still had a fiancé. It was bad. He knew it was bad. It was the third lap of the fucking Sprint. 

“No info-”

“Don’t give me that shit! Is she getting out of the car?!” 

“She is exiting the car, yes.”

And fuck, Lando could breathe again. 

“Assisted,” Will added and his heart dropped. “They’re stopping the session, bring it back to the pits.” 

Lando screamed. As he slowly drove towards the pits, he could feel the eyes on him. The drivers, the media, the fans. All of them wondered the same thing as him. Had he really fucked everything in his life up? 

He parked in his own garage and ran out to the RedBull garage, needing more information than anyone was willing to give him. 

“What is going on?” he demanded of your race engineer, Ryan. 

Ryan sighed. “Have you seen the footage yet?” 

“Don’t show it to him!” Christian demanded, crossing the garage to get to him. “You shouldn’t be here, get out of my garage.”

“She’s my fucking fiancé, if I want information, I’m getting it Christian.”

“You’re the one who fucking killed her!” he screamed. 

The garage went quiet. Lando’s heart rate sped up, his eyes glossed over. He couldn’t have lost you. He didn’t lose you. He refused. He became so much more aware of everything around him, the dead silence in the garage, the way everyone else’s eyes were wide, or subdued. The way Max stilled. The way Christian just stared at him. The way everyone stopped breathing. He could feel every inch of his race suit on his skin, he could feel every curl on top of his head, every bead of sweat that fell from his skin. He took a deep breath. 

“She’s gone?” he asked in a broken whisper, looking at Ryan. Ryan looked down. 

“They got her back!” Henry, your lead mechanic screamed, informing the entire garage that you in fact, were alive. “She’s breathing, she’s awake!” 

There was a collective sigh of relief. With the aid of Max, Christian backed off enough to allow Lando to see the footage and hear the whole story. 

He watched in horror as the front left of his McLaren hit the back right of your RB and sent you flying. Somehow, you’d become airborne and flipped 8 times. 8 times. He counted it. The car hit into the barriers, and it split. 

You didn’t move. The cameras turned away. The marshals ran. George ran on, his car had been hit with debris, the same for Franco, Liam, and Alex. They ran over, trying desperately to help you out. George and Liam carried you over to the ambulance. You were limp. Unresponsive.

“She died for 3 minutes,” Ryan explained, a sombre tone in his voice. “She’s on her way to the hospital now.” 

He looked down, the tears flowing freely. You had died. For 3 whole minutes, you were gone. 

“We think it was the impact of the spinning, and then hitting into the barriers. And… her Hans device was faulty. It wasn’t put on properly, and it came off during the first spin.”

“What about the halo?” he asked. 

“It was crushed in the flips. She took the full impact of the last two with no Hans deivce. It was a miracle she didn't break her neck.” 

He felt like he’d been slapped. 

“We’ll get a car ready for you now. She’ll want to see you,” he explained, wrapping an arm around Lando and bringing him out into the paddock. Ryan, Max, and Henry shielded him from the prying eyes of the media, and got him into a car to the hospital. 

What then ensued was the longest car ride of his life. Sao Paulo traffic was awful on a good day, but fuck. This was excruciating. What was worse was the inner turmoil he was dealing with. Would you ever want to see him? Would you leave him after this? Was this the end? Would you ever get back into an F1 car?

When he finally made it to the hospital, he was rushed to the ICU, walking behind a nurse. 

“She’s in a stable condition, and she’s awake. She’s been asking for you,” she explained and a weight was lifted off his shoulders. You wanted to see him. You asked to see him. 

He turned the corner into your room and he met your eyes. Bloodshot, with a burst blood vessel in one of them. You were bruised and broken, too many casts to count. 

“Lando,” you smiled.

You smiled. 

He rushed over to your side, sitting in the seat at the side of your bed. “I’m here.” 

Your eyes were welling up in tears. “I wanted to see you before I left the track but they said I had to go,” you explained. “This isn’t your fault Lan. It was a racing accident. It was a mistake.” 

He stared at you for a moment. How was it that you could sit there, in pain, traumatised, and comfort him? If he was a better man, he probably would’ve told you it was his fault, and not start crying at your kind words. 

He started tearing up, bowing his head as to stop you seeing. “I don't deserve you.” 

“You do,” you whispered, cupping his cheek. “You do, Lan. You’re here. I know you, and I know you’ve been beating yourself up for the last 3 hours. You didn’t kill me. I’m still alive.” 

“I killed you for 3 minutes,” he croaked out. 

“Racing killed me for 3 minutes. My defence killed me for 3 minutes. My ego killed me for 3 minutes. It wasn’t you, Lando. I turned into you, I’ve watched the footage,” you assured him. “Don’t blame yourself. I don’t.” 

“I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, wrapping his arms around you carefully. 

“I’m ok,” you whispered. “You're ok. It’s ok.” 

You both knew it would take some time to get over this, but you knew you’d do it together. That was the important part.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[themultifanshipper]

Soo I'd like to request Lando ...taming his little bratty girlfriend after date night.....with lots of unholy activities. Be creative and spontaneous...iykyk

You were thrown mercilessly onto the bed, Lando climbing over you and ripping open your dress to mouth at your tits.

“You've been fucking with me all night. Now it's my turn to fuck you until you scream”

Warnings: Dom Lando, sub reader, very bdsm guys, dirty talking, masturbation, restraints, use of multiple toys, PinV sex, PinA sex (technically), anal, oral, creampie, spit, choking, slapping, spanking, subspace, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, crying, honestly it would be shorter to say what's NOT in this fic

Okay, maybe you'd been a bit of a brat during date night. But who could blame you? You had the sexiest boyfriend ever, and he'd decided to wear your favorite suit.

Yeah, that one. The one he knew drove you absolutely wild for him.

So you decided to wear his favourite dress in retaliation. The one that went a bit too low and showed off a bit too much. It was his favourite colour too, and seeing it on you made him feral.

That was strike one.

Strike two was slapping his ass when he got up to go to the bathroom at dinner, in front of Charles and Alex, who you were on a double date with.

He glared at you before turning on his heel and storming off, but he still heard you giggling with the others behind his back.

Strike three was sliding your hand into his lap and slowly inching towards his rapidly growing bulge.

At first he let you indulge, wondering how far you would go, and your hand squeezed him through his slacks, getting him hard as a rock.

He was nothing if not an exhibitionist, but doing this in front of his friends was a bit much.

It's when your hand actually slid into his underwear suddenly that his knee jerked and hit the table, causing a slight distraction while he ripped your hand away and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

Strike four was pressing yourself all over Charles while hugging him goodbye. Charles was clueless, and Alex was quite amused by your antics that were obviously meant to rile up your boyfriend.

Strike five was when you pressed him against his car in the parking lot and slid your thigh between his, capturing his lips in a heated kiss.

Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, he rather liked being manhandled, but for the fact that there were paparazzi outside the restaurant and they got few shots of you two almost fucking on his car. And he knew you'd done it on purpose.

Strike six was when you tried your shit again in the car, trying to get him hard while he was driving, but he quickly shut that down and growled at you to wait until you got home.

Which led to strike seven. You decided to be even more of a little shit and start touching yourself in the car.

At first he didn't realise what you were doing, thinking that you putting your feet up on the dash was just to stretch your legs and get comfortable.

But when you spread them and he saw your hand trail down your leg, he gripped the wheel tight and took another steadying deep breath.

But it was impossible to ignore the wet sounds of your fingers inside your needy cunt as you thrusted them fast and hard to get his attention.

“I know what you're doing” he said casually, looking at the buildings pass by.

You hummed, slowing down your movements. “What's that?”

“You're trying to get me to pull over and fuck you, but it's not going to work. So why don't you pump those fingers some more and let me hear how desperate and wet you are for me”

You did as you were told and even added a third finger, stretching yourself out and moaning unabashedly next to him.

“Look at the state of you. Such a greedy fucking slut you couldn't even wait until we got home. Well you know what's waiting for you when we get there, right?”

You gasped. He knew exactly what his words were doing to you and you knew exactly what he was talking about.

Might as well enjoy yourself in the car while you still could.

Your other hand went down to your clit and rubbed it in tight little circles, just how you like it.

Your soft sounds of pleasure were driving Lando mad, but he managed to hold on to the steering wheel and not do anything stupid. The wait would be worth it in the end.

He could tell you were getting close by the little puffed out moans you were making, and he smirked.

“You want to come so bad, don't you?”

Your head snapped in his direction and you looked at him with puppy eyes. He refused to look at you.

“Yes, I'm so close. Please can I come?” you panted.

He chuckled “I'm not stopping you baby, if you want to come go ahead”

You let out a soft moan of triumph.

“But, if you come I'm not touching you for a month”

Your hips stuttered and you whined. “Nooo why?”

“Because baby, you've been a bad girl tonight. And bad girls don't get to come on their own fingers”

You squirmed in the seat. “Please! I promise I'll be good.”

He laughed at you “we both know that's an empty promise. You're too much of a brat to stick to your word”

You huffed like a child as you retreated your fingers and crossed your legs.

“You're so fucking mean”

There was a pregnant pause while he turned in to the underground parking garage.

“And that's strike eight. You sure you want to keep going?”

You eyes widened. Fuck. Eight already??

“No” you mumbled.

“No what?” he snapped.

“No, sir” you whimpered at his tone.

“That's better, now get out of the car”

Everything between that and him ripping your dress of was a blur.

But the threat of the eight strikes was ever-present in your mind.

One might think eight strikes meant eight spanks. But Lando had learned early on in your relationship that spanking you was useless, you enjoyed the pain way too much for it to be a punishment.

No, eight strikes meant eight orgasms.

And up to now you had only ever managed up to six.

As the dress lay discarded on the floor, Lando noted your lack of underwear and growled.

He sat back on his heels, and admired you from above, nothing but awe in his eyes.

“So fucking beautiful. Shame you're such a needy brat.”

You whimpered and he got off you to get a couple of things from the bedside drawer.

A bottle of lube, a ribbon to tie your hands to the headboard with, and then he paused, looking at the other contents of the drawer, wondering which ones he was going to use tonight.

You and Lando had amassed quite a collection of toys in there.

He finally decided on a vibrating plug, a dildo and vibrating wand.

He was going to need to be creative if he was going to get you to eight tonight.

The first orgasm was easy, his mouth was enough to bring you to your peak in no time, you having been on edge ever since dinner, and he even let you thread your hands through his hair to ground yourself while he devoured you like a man starved.

You lay there panting as he got the ribbon and tied your hands to the headboard.

“And what do we say after an orgasm?”

“Thank you sir” you replied diligently.

“Good girl”

He wasted no time diving back in with his mouth, paying special attention to your oversensitive clit with his tongue, making you writhe in his hold when you suddenly felt him slide three fingers in.

His fingers were quite a bit larger than yours and the stretch was delicious and it didn't take you much time at all to get to your second orgasm.

You barely had time to recover from that one before he turned on the plug and slid it through your folds, carefully avoiding your clit as you squirmed.

He started pushing it in, bit by bit until it was nestled in the wet heat of your pulsing cunt.

It was just barely grazing your g-spot and you let out a frustrated huff, the stimulation not quite enough.

“If you think this is going to make me come then you're sorely mista- Ah!”

The slap echoed in the empty room. Your eyes widened as pain blossomed across your puffy lips.

A couple of seconds passed in silence and he slapped your cunt again, this time catching the plug and you jolted as it pressed against your g-spot for a split second.

“Brat”

Another slap, this time right on your clit and you yelped as your thighs tried to close of their own volition.

Lando spread your legs roughly and pressed them to your chest.

“Keep your legs open” his voice was threatening as he looked at you with fire in his eyes.

Another slap. You cried out as the pain made wetness pool out of you and Lando laughed darkly.

“Look at you practically gushing around the plug. You're enjoying this aren't you slut?”

You couldn't even respond as he slapped you again, and again, and at every slap you just got wetter and wetter until you could feel it dripping over your rim and down your crack.

Lando's thumb came to collect some of the wetness and sucked it into his mouth.

“So sweet for me”

He slapped you again and you keened, you were so close to coming again it was embarrassing. You shouldn't be getting off on this kind of pain but there you were, about to come from him slapping your most sensitive parts.

“Lando! I'm gonna come!” you cried out.

“Good, do it. You're going to have to if we want you to get to eight” he smirked evilly and you whimpered at the thought.

His thumb trailed downwards again and stopped right on your puckered hole, just slightly rubbing the wetness around it and it only took one last slap, and a slight breach from his thumb for you to come, wailing as he used the distraction to slide his thumb in completely.

He took the plug out and turned it off. But didn't put it down as his thumb thrusted in and out of you gently.

He added a small amount of lube before sliding another finger in, then two.

He pulled them out after he deemed you sufficiently stretched, you were still shaking from your previous orgasm, and he pushed the tip of the plug in. It had been a while since you'd had something so thick back there and you let out a breath as he slid another inch in.

One more inch and you were halfway there, pulsing around the silicone as your empty cunt throbbed.

The flared base took some doing but he finally pushed it in gently, the plug popping into place as you gasped at the feeling of being full, but not quite full enough and you whined at Lando.

He chuckled. “So fucking greedy, wanna turn over for me love?” he asked as he untied your wrists.

You did so, settling on your elbows as you spread your legs behind you, exposing the plug to Lando.

He gave it a quick tug just to make you keen before taking the dildo and lubing it up.

It wasn't anything special, certainly not as big as Lando, but it was enough.

He slapped it against your clit once to get your attention, and carefully pushed the tip in.

It wasn't enough and you wiggled your hips to get him to hurry up which just earned you a sharp slap on your left cheek in response.

Your giggle quickly turned into a moan as he thrusted the dildo in at an angle so it rammed into your g-spot.

Yeah this motherfucker knew what he was doing.

He grinded it into that spot repeatedly and your arms quickly gave out, making you face plant into the pillows.

He just laughed meanly as your muffled wails reached his ears and he carried on.

“So good, Lando fuck!”

His hand landed another sharp smack to you ass.

“That's not my name darling” he chided.

“Yes sir, sorry”

“Good girl”

He turned the plug back on and the vibrations made your eyes roll back into your skull and you drooled over the pillow as the pleasure overtook you. For the fourth time you came, this time feeling the burn of the pleasure starting to border on pain.

He turned the plug off and pulled it out gently, making sure not to hurt you and set it to the side for the time being.

The sight of your hole clenching around nothing made him growl and he grabbed your cheeks, spreading them and spitting right on your greedy hole.

You felt utterly boneless as the dildo was also removed, but before you could feel too empty it was shoved back into you, in your ass this time.

You reached a hand back for Lando to squeeze and he did.

“Colour?” he checked.

“Green. So fucking green” you rasped and he chuckled.

“Good, because we're only halfway done, baby”

He put a hand on your upper back and pushed you into the mattress as he got into position to push his cock into your weeping cunt.

He was quite a bit bigger than the dildo and you cried out at the stretch as he started a relentless pace with his hips, while gripping the base of the dildo to drag it in and out of you at the same pace.

Your body was useless as you lay there and took it, pleasure coming in waves and you got closer and closer in record time as Lando felt you tighten around him.

“God you're such a good girl when you can't speak.” He groaned, hips stuttering “Taking it so well, like you were made for it, fuck-”

The praise made your head swim and you felt your body shake with the pleasure of your fifth orgasm taking over you.

Lando slowed down, pulling out the dildo first, then his own cock and helped you turn around so that he could see you.

He grapped a pillow and put it under your hips to raise them up and he noticed your eyes were slightly unfocused.

“You okay babygirl?”

“yeee” you slurred and he chuckled.

He picked up the wand and turned it on, dragging it across your body, passing over your sensitive nipples, making you squirm, and all the way down to your puffy, neglected clit.

Your reaction was immediate as the vibrations sent sparks flying throughout your body, toes curling at the intense pleasure.

But it was nothing compared to the feeling of Lando's thick cock pushing back into your cunt and he angled his thrusts upwards to knock into your g-spot.

You were so out of it you didn't register the different kind of pressure building in your gut until it was too late.

The first stream took Lando by surprise and he felt himself let out a spurt of his own before hammering into you as hard as he could.

That, plus the intense vibration on your clit made you squirt all over him, leaving the two of your lower halves dripping as you cried in overstimulation and he pumped you full of him as shudders wracked his body.

“So good baby, good girl squirting all over yourself, god-”

You didn't respond, taking a bit longer to come down from this one than the others.

“Good to carry on?”

You replied with a noise that was somewhere between a wail and a groan that he knew well enough by now basically meant ‘yep all good’.

He quickly took another smaller vibrating plug out of the drawer (yeah, you had a collection) and slipped it into you, making sure you were nice and plugged full of his cum. He switched it on and angled it upwards into your g-spot and tears streamed down your cheeks at the overwhelming mix of pleasure and pain coursing through you.

He then took the wand and circled it over your clit.

You yelled and he leaned over you to wrap a hand around your throat, which made your eyes roll back into your head and and let out a high pitched whine.

“So good for me baby, you look so fucking sexy, all full of my cum. I love you so much, you're nearly there. You can do one more for me can't you?”

Just as your orgasm was about to crash over you you cried out and your hips bucked up.

“Yes daddyyy-”

Lando’s dick twitched as he watched you fall apart under him, knowing you only called him daddy when you were deep under and numb with pleasure.

He turned the plug off, deciding to leave it in until he could get you in the shower.

He turned off the wand and put it to one side, he could clean everything once the sheets were changed and you were sound asleep.

That was only seven, but it was already a record and he didn't want to push you and accidentally hurt you.

He lay down next to you and his fingers traced patterns over your skin, mouth planting sweet kisses all over your face as you came back to him, the fog slowly clearing from your mind.

Once you were present enough, he kissed you deeply and held you close.

“You did so good for me darling, so fucking good. I'm so proud of you”

You all but purred as you cuddled into his embrace, starting to feel all the sticky lube and juices that you were both covered in.

You giggled. “We need to shower but I don't think my legs are working”

“In that case” Lande kissed you again “why don't I run us a bath?”

“Sounds good”

He got to work, starting off the bath, then put all the toys in the bathroom sink and started cleaning them while the tub slowly filled up.

Once it was full, he carried you to the bath, sitting you up so that he could slide in behind you and lean you back onto his chest.

His hands wandered over you as you soaked in the hot water, and once your mind was cleared completely, you turned your head to kiss him properly and run your hands through his hair, tugging lightly on the strands causing him to moan into the kiss.

You could feel him get hard behind you and you giggled.

“How many did I do?”

“Seven, baby. New record” he smiled at you and leaned back in for a kiss but you stopped him.

“I though we were doing eight?”

“Yeah, but the seventh took everything out of you and I didn't want to push you any harder”

Affection bloomed in your chest as his hands carried on roaming your skin.

“I love you. But I really was a brat earlier, I think I can go one more”

You glanced at the toys on the side of the sink and Lando followed your gaze.

“What are you fancying, love?”

You reached over and grabbed the wand, that happened to be waterproof, then settled on Lando's lap with your back to his chest.

“I want you inside me for a start” you removed the plug that was still inside you and sank down onto him quickly, making you both groan into each other’s mouths as you twisted around again to kiss lazily.

You turned the wand on and put it under the water, right on your clit.

It was like heaven, the hot water around you soothing, yet making the sensations so much more intense and you moved in sync with Lando, rolling your hips as he thrusted gently in and out of you.

He was so on edge he came before you, filling you up again and the feeling of him throbbing inside you pushed you over the edge and you squealed as your body slumped back against him.

You couldn't move so he took the wand and turned it off, throwing it back in the sink before wrapping his arms around you and kissing up and down your neck and shoulders.

“There you go” you said sleepily “eight strikes” you turned around in his arms, and you both dissolved into giggles and kissed sloppily, content in each other’s arms.

Next time, you would definitely manage to get nine strikes

[starkwlkr]

Can I request one with Hugh Jackman where he and reader are both trying to ignore some of the mean paparazzi? And like a clip of Hugh defending her goes viral and he gets asked about it in interviews?

that’s my dad! | hugh jackman

an: just wanted to let y’all know how happy i am writing all these amazing requests! this is going to take place in my marvel actress!reader universe <3

tw: paparazzi (because it should be illegal tf?) and rude comments lmk if i missed anything

After months of you and Hugh filming and doing press interviews, you were finally reunited with your three kids in New York. It was a nice sunny day in New York so your family took advantage of it. Your family decided to eat at a brunch spot that you’ve been meaning to try out. You were the one that suggested eating outside since it was a nice day. Your daughter, Olivia, was the one that had spotted a man dressed in casual clothes with his camera out.

Why isn’t paparazzi illegal? You thought to yourself. You were just trying to have a day with your family.

“Well our family day was fun while it lasted.” Olivia frowned.

“Just eat and ignore them, Liv, maybe they’ll get bored that we’re not doing anything interesting and walk away.” Her older brother, Reese, said as he continued eating his sandwich.

So everyone went on eating while the man kept taking pictures. Olivia had brought up some trip that her and her friends wanted to take. It was all going good until more paparazzi started showing up.

“Get your things, we’re leaving.” Was all Hugh said. He stood up from his chair and walked away.

“But I haven’t finished my food!” Olivia frowned again.

“Finish it in the car, dumbass, dad’s going to beat the shit out of that guy!” Alex smirked as his dad started walking angrily and yelling at the paparazzi.

“You heard your dad, let’s go.” You grabbed your purse and sunglasses while the kids grabbed their stuff. Thankfully your car wasn’t far away.

Olivia quickly stuffed her face with pasta and drank the last bit of her coke before she followed you and her brothers. “Wait! I can’t walk that fast!” You stopped and waited for her then grabbed her hand.

Alex walked in front of you and Olivia while Reese walked behind you. Hugh had always told the boys that if paparazzi ever fought up with them and he wasn’t there, it was up to them to keep you and Olivia safe. They took that job seriously.

“Hey! Congrats on the new movie! How does it feel to be back as Wolverine?” A camera man from TMZ asked Hugh.

“Look, I’m just trying to have a nice day out with my family. Please leave us alone.” Hugh demanded.

“I’m just trying to do my job, man.”

“Fuck your job. Get the fuck out!” Hugh was so close to grabbing his camera and smashing it on the ground. The kids made it safely to the car while you waited outside for your husband. Just then, the camera man made a comment about you that made Hugh lose it.

“My bad, I’ll let you get back to that hot ass wife of yours.”

Hugh grabbed the camera and smashed it on the ground. He was about to do even more damage, but he heard you yell his name. “Don’t talk about my wife ever.”

“So you had an eventful day in New York recently. . .” Ryan said to Hugh. They were the guests host on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. You and the kids were watching from backstage as Ryan got Hugh to talk about the incident that happened. “I think People magazine voted you sexiest husband alive,” Hugh laughed at Ryan’s comment. “I mean it was like playing wolverine all over again.”

“It did feel like it,” Hugh admitted. “When I got back to the car, my kids were cheering so I am now the coolest person they know.” The audience laughed.

“Were you not before?”

“No, they called me a big nerd,” Hugh laughed it off. “But as I was walking back to my family, I heard my daughter just yell really loudly ‘that’s my dad! My dad beat his ass!’ and i have never felt prouder.”

“Father of the year, everyone!”

@kellyxo1

[23victoria]

Passing the Phone

f1 grid x reader

warnings: cussing, unhinged, satire, complete jokes (are they?...), dark humor ig…idk, talk of age gaps, sa allegations, no just kidding...very much reading people to the filth

authors note: lmaoo don’t ask me why i wrote this cause idk…but this is so unhinged 😭😭 please don’t take offense to this and if you do…i said don’t…all jokes i love them, some of them, you can find it funny or you won’t, just wanted to get this out of my drafts

want to be tagged in my works?! CLICK HERE!

f1 masterlist

Video starts with Y/N holding the phone, in selfie mode.

Y/N: I'm passing the phone to someone who had the biggest breakup in F1 history with a blond German boy named Nico.

Lewis: Babe, no!

Y/N: What, too soon? It's been years but okay! Sorry! Okay, let me start again. I'm passing the phone to someone who said "Fuck Mercedes" and is going to Ferrari for 2025!

Lewis: Y/N, no!! You cannot say that! You’re gonna get me in trouble!!

Y/N: Fine, fine, fine. I'm passing the phone to the GOAT of this generation with the most wins in F1 history, yet he was robbed of the championship in 2021.

Y/N passes the phone to Lewis.

Lewis: stares at Y/N then laughs “I'm passing the phone to someone who is known more for his memes than driving skills.”

Lewis passes the phone to George.

George: laughs “Hahaha real funny…I'm passing the phone to someone who took six years to get their first win."

Lando: “Dude, what the fuck?! Fuck you, Woody! I'm passing the phone to someone who's younger than me yet acts years older than me.”

Oscar: “....You're not funny... I'm passing the phone to someone who's most likely losing their seat next season.”

Logan: “The fuck, Oscar! I thought we were friends! Low blow, mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has yet to get P1, yet all his friends who got into F1 after him have won races already.”

Alex: “....And that, Logan, is why you're losing your seat. Mr. What The Fuck is A Kilometer. Anyway, I'm passing the phone to someone who just got brutally murdered by an interviewer on Sky Sports regarding their F1 career, if you could call it that.”

Daniel: “You shouldn’t be talking Mr. I Have No Wins….eat shit…I'm passing the phone to the shortest person on the grid but cusses more than anyone here.”

Yuki: “That interviewer was right, why the fuck do you still have a seat in F1?!! Dickhead. I'm passing the phone to a man with good fashion sense and his teammate might steal his seat.”

Zhou: “Bro….really. I'm passing the phone to someone who acts like he's Australian when he’s not…oh, and his seat is at risk too.”

Bottas: “Yeah, yeah, whatever mate. I'm passing the phone to someone who has enough penalties in just nine races that he can be banned from racing in F1… permanently.

Kevin: “You're so funny, Bottas, hahaha…ha. I'm passing the phone to a dickhead.”

Nico: “Fuck you too asshole. I'm passing the phone to a person who has a shitty ass dad who deserves to be in jail.”

Max: burst out laughing “Ah, no lies told there. I'm passing the phone to someone who only has a seat to protect me from having any real competition…”

You laugh in the background “Oh shit.”

Checo: blank stare “Motherfucker! That just shows your true colors... I'm passing the phone to... who am I supposed to pass it to... uhhh... Y/N.

Takes phone 

Y/N: “Oh, I know! I'm passing the phone to someone who has sexual assault “allegations” against them, but the FIA wants to hide it. I can’t go near him for my safety, so I’ll just turn the camera towards him... *pans the camera to Christian Horner*

Everyone is stunned and silent, then there’s Lewis laughing in the background 

Y/N: “Oh! I have another one! Hey Kelly, “i hear you like them young”, to be more specific at the ripe age of 17... mhmmm, she's a pedoo. What Kendrick say “TRYNA STRIKE A CORD AND ITS PROBABLY A MINNORRRR” *pans the camera to Kelly Piquet*

silence.

Lewis: runs towards Y/N and grabs the camera “Yup, that's enough for today. You're trying to start problems and get people beat up”

Video ends with Lewis taking the phone away from Y/N, shaking his head while laughing.

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✿ .° • everything taglist • °. ✿ : @ham1lton @ietss @animeandf1lover @nelly187 @heartsfromtaeyong @bloodyymaryyy @nor-4 @zacian117 @mel164 @uhhvictoria @hadidsworld @magixpracticality @exotic-iris13 @tellybearryyyy @zabwlky1999 @sya-skies @lillysbigwilly

@eoduuung

.•☆.°.•.*₊ ☆ .*₊ .• ☆.°.• .

*sooooo……that’s the end….LMFAOOOO, again…DO NOT COME FOR ME…ITS JOKES (is it really though)*

© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own