#AUGH i am weak
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we were fucking ROBBED
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#the only ssr i'll whale for#oh my god i loved this update. holy shit#got some ~compositions~ in mind so i'll get to the more serious stuff later#in the meantime those first couple of chapters genuinely made me question if i was perhaps trapped in my own absurd dream or not#the whole-ass video just DROPPED in there idia how long were you WORKING on that#don't forget to like and subscribe! :)#i demand that all cutscenes be animated in that style forevermore#i also demand that all clothing changes henceforth be done via magical girl transformation phrase#not just in the dreamworld. all of them.#DREAM~~~~~FORM~~~~~CHAAAA~~~~NGE#also savanarook was so unexpectedly precious! i want to protect him.#augh there's SO MUCH and i am SO PLEASED with all of it#anyway i guess we're going to be going through everyone's dreams after all!#and it's going to be a THING!!!!!!!! CLOSURE AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE FOR EVERYONE#(insert 'it's all coming together' meme)#man i hope 'please watch this video' remains a running gag it's AMAZING#also i cannot believe#i cannot BELIEVE#that the plan is actually literally#defeat malleus by inviting everyone else to the party except him#HIS ULTIMATE WEAKNESS#malleus doesn't get to be in smash bros
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'My star'
Anon request - Astarion is a fallen star come to earth, hunted for his beauty and rarity. But he meets the Bear Knight - Halsin of the Grove who protects him and the two fall in love 🐻⭐️.
#halstarion#astarion#halsin#bloodbear#astarion ancunin#i am so weak for this type of AU#slightly reworded for the caption#I hope you dont mind!#in hindsight I should have designed astarion pretty clothes but I am a terrible fashion designer#halsin of the grove!!! augh....#my art
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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was gonna go to the gay bar but I inflicted psychological damage on myself by trying to do taxes and then listening to music from senior year of hs should I still go
#star’s polls#pros: get out of the house and the entry cover donates to a local trans community org#cons is I am weak with a vehement nostalgia and I just want to melt into a puddle of nothing#okay to elaborate on cons also this is music that i associate with my a certain Person and Also i do have some work i could do but augh.#getting dressed up would be a hassle. idk. ill probably go around 9#maybe stay an hour#whateverrr
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hey @bucketofcowboys i actually did it
refs under the cut
so this is the post i saw
and i looked up the caption to try and find a fuller version of it. this was the only one i could find:
which as you can see, is uh. nearly comedically low res. but i'm a big girl and i love women so i plowed forward nonetheless
anyway none of that's very important i just thought it was silly. and so my journey concludes
#I LOVE WOMENNNNN#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#skrunkart#yakuza#like a dragon#majima goro#goromi#goro majima#ykz#I LOVE DRAWING THIS KINDA HAIRSTYLE LIKE THE SHARP ANGLED BOB AUGH#unironically one of my favorite hair archetypes#anyway. here's some goromi content for you. again#listen i've been thinking about her okay. what a woman#also..... those gloves......#listen. LISTEN. hear me out i#also i uh. i think there's supposed to be some kinda elaborate necklace there. truthfully i didn't want to do it so i didn't. yes it woulda#fucked but no i was too weak for it. i am not good at jewelry design okay leave me alone#and it basically would be design bc it's like 14 pixels in the original image. anyway#BTW I DIDNT PUT THAT COMMUNITY LABEL ON THERE. IM GETTING IT REVIEWED. WHAT THE HELL
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feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable
#purrs#i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh#shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all#weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm#is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things#and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i#know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries#of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach#is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh.#i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t#this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week#im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna#get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough!#but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️
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damn depression is actually like. kicking my ass pretty hard
#i am so#sooooo#augh#everything is so much effort im not happy with anything i cant do anything that i like and just??? what am i supposed to do with my life#WHEN I CANT DO SHIT#writing in painful drawing is painful#i want to do both of those things and i just cant#i can read books in public transport and play zelda and thats pretty much it?#im kinda going insane bc i dont like my life rn at all#but i feel too weak and lazy to change anything#its like i want to rest forever because its never enough i never have enough energy#and just. aughughughgughugh. i dont want to die thank god i am not suicidal#but man i do not want to live as myself anymore right now#i guess i will write yaoi about it or something#gah i now this is my blog and all#but sorry for the constant depressing talk lately lmao#it gets better eventually
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Just looked back at the posts you linked, and Mushroom's ask made me realize something.
I forgot to mention that my dog is part malamute! She's got a very thick and fluffy coat, so she'd be a literal perfect cuddle buddy on cold nights!
(She's also part red heeler, so she will absolutely bite some ankles to herd others away from me. She has done it before.)
-sibling anon, who absolutely adores their goofy little dog
waugh….. she’s perfect……. i too adore your goofy little dog….
#m1d : [chats]#my school is SO cold i wish i could curl up w big fluffy adeptus and sleep#been sleepy all day bc nothing to do + no way to keep myself alert = ya boi dozin#m trying to read but…. augh………….#if i were a stronger man i could write about it but i am. weak.
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Maybe eating ice cream when I had a cold was a bad idea actually. Mmmy throat... feels dry and scratchy now...
#aria rants#ive no more cold now which is good! but umm... i think i have a new problem arriving... Asthma attack--#why an asthma attack when its just ice cream? well-- cuz of a cough. i can feel a cough coming cuz of the state of my throat now#and the way it goes for me is: i get a cough -> asthma attack. i am... weak immune system georgs and i somehow keep making it#worse via my own decisions. i cant say no to ice cream!!! ICE CREAM! i need serpentina now tho... bitter plant Augh...
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<- the shy embarrassederrrrr
#head in my hands. i am so so so soothed by the smell of my lube#i havent tried many different ones so i dunno if this scent is? unique to mine or really generic. but#i dunno just smelling it like. puts me in this brainspace of like everything is slow and calm and okay and im safe.#its like catnip to me. like its really intense i dunno why#my villain weakness. augh
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visitor 1: how are you with A/V equipment
visitor 2, interrupting me explaining that i am not good with A/V equipment: oh, aj can do everything
visitor 2 five minutes later after watching me bring in a table SHE ASKED FOR: tries to TELL MY MOTHER that she needs to have a TALK WITH ME because i am WORKING TOO HARD
#kot#ok so what is it am i magically capable of any possible task or too weak to move a table. which one of those things is true.#god. i am fucking tired of this#few hours later i am moving around some sandbags because they needed to come in from my mom's car#and i pick one up and she's like i can't look at you :((#GIRL IT'S 50 POUNDS THAT IS INSULTING YOU ARE INSULTING ME RIGHT NOW#she apologized after because i expressed the above. but like. augh
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!!!!
#volume 2 of the OM comic got opened for preorder on my local amazon so o7#ill see you in april BABY!!#v3 is open aswell but. in french.#the ony volume of JJK i have (i am very weak to mahito) is also in french bc of circumstances but i dont want any more french manga thanks#augh i am so excited!!!#the miss-em plushies come in just after xmas which is finee and V1 comes in a few days after that so!!!!#i do still gotta pay for the plushies bc i made my dad order em but =w=bb#AUGH my lil guys........#sillyposting#YAYYYAY
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it's such a contradictory existence.. i have to be eased into it like a small rabbit being put into a new habitat
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sorry,,,i thought about tmnt mutant mayhem and started crying,,
#two weeks….. (punches wall)#i got pizza hut specifically just to look at the box and i had to fight the sudden urge to cry at the dining table.#embarassing!!#the rotating rotisserie chicken metaphor is too weak to describe whatever is going on inside my head rn#thinking about their Shape and holding my head in my hnands…. AUGH#i am so. VIOLENT. i want to SQUISH THEM. BITE THEM.#SHAKING LIKE A CHIHUAHUA.#!!!!!!!!!#mutant mayhem#tmnt mm#tmnt mutant mayhem
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Wish there was a way to punch walls that didn’t inevitably make me feel like a dumbass
#I simply do not have the pain tolerance idk how people do it#fuckin pain sensitivity georg over here making zero damage to myself or the wall but still on the brink of tears#i AM ANGRY and I CANT DO ANYTHING ABT IT#if I punch person I go to jail. if I punch soft object I look and feel very ridiculous but not in a calming way#I am full of so much anger and zero body strength#so instead I just have to get mad at myself in my room with my barely scratched knuckles#because I am a weak pathetic little piece of garbage who can’t do anything right#I just want to stop feeling so helpless. i can’t help any of the people I care about but I can’t even break shit abt it#AUGH.#cw vent#my posts
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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