#AND THE WORSE PART IS HES RIGHT
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God. Fuckin. Dammit guys.
Youuuu lil gremlins didn't warn me.
My friends got me (dragged me against my will) into Genshin (hell)
And I spent-
8 REAL PERSON HOURS
grinding a bunch of quests. I am ruined. What am I supposed to do now? I streamed after a while bc I was bored and my friend came on and was like... wow. you've really been no life-ing this huh?
#genshin impact#gaming#hoyoverse#AND THE WORSE PART IS HES RIGHT#IM ACTIVELY AVOIDING SEVERAL PRESENTATIONS I NEED TO MAKE#IN ORDER TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME#got pretty far tho ngl#finally resolved the venti and dvalin crisis#now we're on kaeya and diluc angst#angsty characters with a complicated past my beloveds<3#i smelled the tea from the moment kaeya was introduced#its givingggg#ambrosius and ballister#naruto and sasuke#its givinggggg#doomed to forever be on opposite sides#atp im only playing for their lore#and ORATRICE MECHANIQUE DENALYSE CARDINALE#probably spelled that wrong#but i just woke up sooo#Day 67 of hiding from my friends
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Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor š) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on liliaās proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldnāt have been that seriousā¦i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved herā¦(even if he didnāt realize it himself?) but, oh well! Letās think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)
oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing į( į )į
I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.
(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#please excuse the Dissertation that's about to happen (i have too much headcanon about them)#they've been ambiguous about most of the fae aging/developmental stages (plus lilia and mel's species age differently)#so this is entirely me assuming based on context#but i think that lilia being ~99 was probably about the equivalent of 9-10ish?#(i don't think his age maps perfectly onto 'human age times 10') (if only because i absolutely do not believe general lilia is 29)#(but in this case it feels right to me)#and i think of meleanor as being just slightly older (like ~11-12ish)#so like...kids but not LITTLE-little kids#so i think lilia was serious in a 'i have a huge crush on you and i haven't thought beyond that' kind of way#and meanwhile mel was more cognizant of how their dynamic was basically#lilia: i would die for you#meleanor: that's dumb#(lilia 600 years later: man she was right. that was dumb.)#but yeah I think she might've assumed (or hoped) he would grow out of it#except whoops oh no it just got worse#and then raverne made things MORE complicated and you know honestly maybe getting murdered was kind of a relief#meleanor in heaven: well at least he won't accidentally raise my kid to have the exact same -- are you kidding me#(i have too many thoughts to express properly i'm sorry) (i just. love these morons a lot okay.)
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I think a lot about Leoās tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when heās forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until itās already been done.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#itās arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself#note that when heās offered a job as a mascot heās fine being unknown#when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says āthey love YOU popsā#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is#and how much his persona is more an actor#Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leoās route in life is directly tied to their splinter so#since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it#and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are#I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja#his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times#not that thatās NOT him - like I said itās still undoubtedly a part of Leo#but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters#or Leo being the only one to almost get Gusās dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- heās clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily#itās like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do#like Raph? Raphās the biggest Hero of the bunch of them letās be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero#All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential#likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja#but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse#he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it#Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like#youād think heās focused solely on the performance flair - no itās ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and itās why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didnāt just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. Heās been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as theyāve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but itās not his first time working with them. I think itās just something important because this isnāt just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they couldāve been, since he hadnāt done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isnāt a crime and heād be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didnāt give Jim the job this wouldnāt have happened is underplaying that theyāve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldnāt admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curlyās trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesnāt like him but doesnāt trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip itās implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. heās retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because heās at his core an avoidant bully who canāt take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didnāt want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of itās in the comments
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A braithuvi horse at rest under the close protection and watchful, scary, pale-eyed gaze of her herd's guardian, a dĆrgrahdain. Both are landraces developed within the Highlands. The ancestors of braithuvi (and other Highlands native horses) were brought overseas by the ancestors of the Hill Tribes, while the dogs were obtained from native livestock guardian landraces used by proto-Wardi tribes. Each have become distinct over their centuries of living in the Highlands, and dĆrgrahdain are have a particularly unique place in the cultural schema.
Braithuvi are a woolly horse breed (and one of many, wool horses are widespread, second only to camala in value for textiles) that are also somewhat specialized for milk production. Their meat is relatively poor (other horses are preferred), but they produce high yields of milk and thick, continuous growths of wool.
Horses are not as culturally significant as cattle to most in the Highlands, but are still highly valued animals that are critical to subsistence. Few plant-based textiles can be produced in the Highlands, and almost all in the region are made with braithuvi wool. They can eat a greater variety of forage than cattle, more efficiently converting energy intake from pastures into milk and wool. Their milk is considered to be the very best of all livestock, and is usually what is used to make the prized murre beverage.
Dogs have a very small specific place in the cultures of the Hill Tribes as utilitarian working animals (specifically for livestock and occasionally as home/village guardians), and rarely ever fill other functions. The practice of keeping dogs purely for companionship is virtually nonexistent (though affectionate bonds between people and their herding or household guard dogs will be fairly common), and their meat is considered worthless. Most dogs are not elevated within the cultural schema, and tend to be merely appreciated as useful, loyal animals. Livestock guardian dogs are an exception to this, and tend to be of more significant cultural import. They are animals that exist to protect the herds on which all subsistence depends, and thus have an elevated cultural status and roles in religion and folklore as uniquely protective entities.
DĆrgrahdain are the key livestock guardian dogs in the region, and the only natively developed LGD. Their name means 'lion dog', both in reference to their maned appearance and their ability to fend off and even kill the largest of predators. The dogs are characterized by tall, long-legged builds, deep chests, a curly tail, thick hair (and a thicker winter coat), and a shaggy mane. Their bodies tend to be thinner and lankier than their fur coat suggests, but still well-muscled and powerful. Their coloration can vary wildly, but a black mask with a brown or reddish body like this is most typical. Unnerving, pale eyes are prized in these dogs, with the belief that they not only intimidate predators but are uniquely potent at fending off malicious spirits.
The dog's exclusive function is to protect livestock. They are used primarily for the defense of horses, which are small and very vulnerable to predators (lions, hyenas, king hyena, wild dogs, jackals, nechoi, and even eagles can be threats), though some dogs will usually be posted up with cattle herds to deter raiders.
Pups are most commonly born in the field among their herds. They will be carried in their master's coat while still nursing, but will be allowed to join their mother in her duties from the moment they are strong enough to follow. DĆrgrahdain live with their herds day and night. Most will never see the inside of a home, and most seem to prefer it that way. They form close and protective bonds with their charges, and will thoroughly integrate themselves into the social fabric of the herd.
These dogs are not human-oriented, and will usually only form bonds with people that they have imprinted on as puppies (and will merely be cool and polite to those met later in life). They are highly aggressive towards strangers, and introductions must be done incrementally and with great care. This is desirable, as this trait makes them an excellent line of defense against livestock raids. Their loud, booming barks can alert of intruders from a great distance, and they can often successfully intimidate khait, causing some mounted raids to end in humiliating failure. DĆrgrahdain are often killed in raids, either to fend off the attacking dog or to silence it before its master can be alerted. This is not outright dishonorable, but not something one will be commended for. Cattle raiding culture here values swiftness, stealth, and strategy- such smash and grab tactics are seen as brutish (and will often result in harsher retribution).
Like most LGDs, they primarily defend their herds by displays of aggression and power, using their loud bark, fearsome growl, and powerful bodies to chase and intimidate predators away without physical contact. Even so, it is necessary for all working dĆrgrahdain to be willing and able to physically confront predators when necessary. A well-trained, well-bonded dog will defend their herds with their very life, and is often effective in combat against even very large wild predators. Their dense āmanesā offer a degree of protection from wounds to the throat, and may be supplemented with spiked collars.
If a mother dog kills a predator, it is often customary to open the carcass and lead her puppies to feed on it. This is thought to teach the pups to be fearless against their enemies, and that they will grow up to be uniquely powerful and brave adults. Pups are given names upon reaching adult size, and ones who have consumed the flesh of predators will get unique names related to their mother's kill, or epithets as supplements to a given name (the exact details of this practice culturally varies). One might encounter dogs in the Highlands named things like Lionsbane, Hyena-killer, She Who Bites Jackals, Lion-Fed Shaggy (Lion-Fed being the honorable epithet, Shaggy being the dog's name, possibly given by a very small child)
The mere gaze of a dĆrgrahdain is said to fend off malicious spirits, and their thundering bark can scare away even the most dangerous of mountain devils. Their shed hair is needle felted into little dolls (usually into the form of dogs themselves) and placed into the cradles of infants and worn as charms by children to protect them from harm (both mundane and supernatural). Manes taken from dead dĆrgrahdain have uses among some of the Hill Tribes, and are typically only allowed to be used by their masters (unless recieved as a gift). The most prominent usages are being worn to fend off evil spirits and predators while traveling alone, and some traditions involve placing the manes around the necks or across the bellies of women in labor as a means of spiritual protection for mother and child during birth.
The Hill Tribes and Wardi both identify the same constellation along the ecliptic as a dog. In the case of the former, this stellar dog is identified as Mak-Urudain, a gigantic dĆrgrahdain with fur the color of flame and eyes as bright as stars, who is the eternal guardian of the Celestial Fields. He allows the souls of the worthy dead to pass into the afterlife and for esteemed ancestors to descend back to the land to guide the living, while preventing malicious spirits, devils, and the dishonored dead from entry.
One Bernike tale describes her attempting to fly into the Celestial Fields to steal the heavenly cattle who graze there. She took the form of a golden eagle, pretending to be an ancestor returning from a sojourn to the world of the living in order to get past the guardian hound. Mak-Urudain was not fooled for long, and led her on a long chase through the night sky before capturing her and hurling her out of the Celestial Fields.
She was never able to even touch the ground of the Fields (much less take any cattle), but had just enough time to take a single seed of heavenly grass in her beak. She returned to her mountain (missing most of her tail feathers and much of her pride) and planted the grass in her then-barren slopes. This is why the grass on Bernike's mountain is so tall and abundant and why cattle there grow so fat and healthy, like all cattle will in the afterlife. The howling winds heard from the mountaintops are playfully suggested to be the barks and howls of Mak-Urudain, calling down from the heavens to keep the witch grounded in the world of the living.
#DOG PARAGRAPHS: 2 (and lite horse material)#hill tribes#creatures#Brakul's chest tattoo is supposed to be a dĆrgrahdain but the only thing the guy who did it got right was the curly tail.#Everyone around him who gets past the 'ew whats with the tattoos' thing enough to make any non-disparaging comments#tends to assume that it's a kulimane and it pisses him off so fucking bad#And the worst part is that it really does look more like a kulimane than anything else#(Scenario was Brakul- barely able to speak Wardi- attempting to communicate a nuanced description of a dog breed to a guy who#absolutely could not be trusted to draw a recognizable dog to begin with and was tattooing him with a cactus spine)#(Janeys kind of looming nearby and using all 5.25 words of Urbinnas dialect he knows to confidently and incorrectly assist#in translation. Fully making it worse by intervening like 'he's saying he wants the ears bigger you fucking moron')#(at one point the dude gets to the tail and Brakul is just frantically gesturing a spiral shape into the air and that ends up being#only part executed more or less correctly)
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The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.
If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!
If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!
If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.
After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.
But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.
All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.
And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.
The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.
The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!
#hoc est meum#a lot of this is people projecting cliches and daddy issues and gender shit onto cql#where jfm's characterization mostly didn't make the jump#but still it's like#wtf man#why are we taking yu ziyuan's word about fault at face value#when the fact that she talks a lot of bullshit is so firmly established?#you don't have to Let Him Off his own mistakes for the challenge factor of being married to an abuser if you don't want#but can we stop victim-blaming the guy for ten minutes???#mdzs#meta#jiang fengmian#spousal abuse#characterization#sometimes fanon is Worse#a very annoying part of this is it means really good jiang cheng pov that gets into his issues is super thin on the ground#because no one wants to wrestle with the complex layers of how he felt like his dad didn't love him#or at least not the way he needed to be loved#how he's sort of aware he's bringing his mother's interpretation to things#and that she wasn't entirely right BUT#how he has this deep dreadful certainty that in the most fundamental way she was entirely correct: that jiang cheng was just like her#selfish and violent and unable to manage his own emotions at all#and therefore didn't deserve to be loved#which yu ziyuan so clearly and tragically believed about herself and thus made true
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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Okay guys now itās time to considerā¦
Sunday being in love with Readerā¦ but being unable to act on his feelings because The Dream Master disapproves of itā¦
The yearning in this would be INSAAAAAANNNE.
#hsr x reader#sunday x reader#honkai star rail x reader#it is pure agony for him#he can deal with it somewhat bc youāre already pretty close and see each other frequently#so itās not like he has to yearn from afar#but one might say that the closeness makes it even worse#like when youāre submerged in a dream and youāre chasing something unattainable#and itās right in front of you but suddenly your whole body is heavy and even though itās right at the tips of your fingers you justā¦#ā¦ canāt quite reach far enough#every time you mention someone with potential a romance in mind his entire body goes cold#he freezes up and that mask of his cracks#and that smile he always wears becomes all the more difficult to keep up#Sunday wants you to be happyā¦ but the more selfish part of him wishes that you never find anyone to fall in love with
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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glorioso from last years twitterin
#pokemon#swsh#champion gloria#professor hop#drift compatible#<- their common tag wahoo#sometimes (all the time) I think abt how much I love gloria and wanna finally write that 4-part thing for her#hop shoooouuuldve been a moderating presence or whatever but the thing is. he just thinks she's genuinely cool#so every time anyone questions anything she does to him he's like why? it rocks#gloria's the same with hop tho like if hop tells her anything she just takes it as fact. its dangerous but so far its worked out#so ultimately they actually make each other Worse(tm) and thats awesome to me. I love them#I love them so fucking much everyones like dang that champion's taciturn how come she's best friend and rival with that#super nice professor. even tho it takes being next to them literally three seconds to realize they just think the other is the coolest#man. these were drawn like right before I caught the A virus last year iirc. inked that first thing while having a fever#how was november and december last year Like That... what made it be like that. what da hells....#oh well theres this. I gotta go back to business now#have a good night lads. we begin at the beginning and where we begin is the beginning etc
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As the story is going forward, asriel has been getting more on the 'Overprotective' and controlling type person. He has learned even guilt trip. How did you figure out these personality traits From canon asriel?
I took all of Flowey's worst qualities and watered them down until I felt a kid could logically embody those qualities, too. Flowey is, after all, Asriel at his absolute worst. And what are some traits about Flowey we know? He's controlling (like his save scumming in his omega flowey fight to always get the upper hand), manipulative (guiding you towards the best ending for his own plans) and obsessed with Chara (to the point of not wanting to live in a world without them). Heck, even at the end of the TP route when you fight hyper death Asriel, his monologue STILL depicts him as controlling and obsessed with Chara, even after he has souls inside of him again. (like him wanting to reset the world so that "chara" can never leave him, and they can play together for ever)
Asriel always had the potential inside of him to become Flowey with all those cruel tendencies, though probably the reason those tendencies manifested to begin with in the game's story was from him lacking a soul which then diminished his empathy after he died and was resurrected.
In the flashbacks of this comic, Asriel still has his soul (for the time being). If someone were to ask him if it was okay to control his friends, he'd say "no, that's wrong", but he also knows it's wrong for his friend to try and hurt themselves, and will do whatever it takes to prevent that. He uses his concern for their well-being as a justification to micromanage everything they do. In his mind he's "protecting" them, he's "helping" them, he's "saving" them, and that is a "good thing" so it "doesn't count" as controlling them. He doesn't even know what guilt tripping is. Let's also not forget that Asriel's a kid with little life experience and honestly doesn't even realize what he's doing is harmful in other ways. If an adult explained to him why his tactics for protecting Chara could cause more harm than good, he'd be truly horrified.
Sadly, both Chara and Asriel have each hurt the other (be it intentionally or unknowingly) which makes them both reluctant seek out help from adults. For Asriel, if he told his parents what Chara was trying to do, he fears Chara won't trust him or be his friend anymore. For Chara, if they were to tell an adult that they don't like the way Asriel is treating them, it would mean having to explain why he's treating them like that, which would also mean having to explain their plans of self-sacrifice, which they know would make the adults upset, and could potentially lead to punishment. (of course the Dreemurrs would never hurt Chara, but Chara just Will Not take that risk due to bad experiences they had in the past from their time on the surface). And tragically, their attempts to help the other in their own flawed, naive ways leads to each of their undoing.
#ghost switch#saddest part is Asriel's still gotta get a lot worse before he gets better#he hasn't even hit his villain arc yet with Frisk#There's also one other thing that Flowey is that Arsiel represents as well#but it's meta and won't be addressed until... like... hotland.#One of the takeaways I hope people get from this comic is āthey were both right with their concerns about the problemā#āBut they were both wrong with their methods of dealing with the problemā#or more specifically ājust because I agree that they were wrong doesn't automatically mean I think that you were rightā
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Makima, devils and self-fulfillment
Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. Iām sure Iām forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/whatās been confirmed. On the table of contents thereās why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?
The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I donāt think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:
"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the ābadā devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makimaās relationship with them? Sheās too independent to just follow THEIR orders, sheās Control.)
So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and sheās ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesnāt loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanityās creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time
She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"
~
The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makimaās answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isnāt out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.
Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel thereās an itch to every devil, and for Makima itās a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.
And maybe this is why sheās attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (itās a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humansā need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peacefulā Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.
This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encouragesā There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makimaās success was self-made.
She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. Itās still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devilās behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because itād have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, sheād have been part of that āhisā order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conquerorās making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devilā All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.
And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friendās farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldnāt it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way itās trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows whatās best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldnāt she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then itās back to actual work.
In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely thatās the extra edge they must be missing to be contentā like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogsā¦ā¦.. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because theyāre calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. Itās very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because itās pretty direct and sheās already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. Sheās self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. Theyāre her personal lifeā something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and sheās gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.
Devils and agency
Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denjiās, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human bodyā¦ Thereās something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fillā¦ Outside influence theyāre helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Akiās. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out ofā¦ Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. Itās Angel Devilās devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.
Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being fearedā we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting othersā house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denjiās memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neitherā part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~
But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devilās namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry itās her feeling empty when sheās not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean itās something that they like nor that itās something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe itās even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe itās the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?
And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay rememberedā feared, powerful, knownā hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, itās their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.
We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can beā a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such aā¦. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call iāll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If itās a choice, of course.
Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drumā¦ Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and sheās happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.
Imo Makimaās biggest tool, similarly capitalismās most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be thatās what theyāll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesnāt like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at bestā how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, itās about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that arenāt logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesnāt live and breathe purely for the mission sheās made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.
Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way sheāll have decided for peopleā and thatās the thing isnāt it, like with War, itās the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and itās not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.
#Fumi rambles#Chainsaw man#makima#analysis#meta#The goal is moreso me dropping thoughts than being flawless on every aspect of the lore so if and when i get things wrong b mercifulā¦.#Maybe her liking of control is why she remembers the ww2 authoritarian fascists. I donāt want to say the word jic for tumblr search#Pity is never a factor When mercy is a sign of a talentless actor#And as you grow its hold on your throat starts to falter And once you go beyond pure humanity's border#You will come back like a dooooog š#Thisād be a different topic but. I donāt think makima likes denji as much as one of her dogs. If so iād say it was in the moments where#she brought him to movies but even thenā¦.. i think she has more fondness for her dogs bc w denji it was indifference and derision#I love you please humiliate me / strip my dignity and laugh my honey#God. God iām fine. Iām so okay about csm#Makima has a cryptic but strong sense of morals?? That doesnāt align with ours obvi but#āSomeone like you has no right to wish for a normal life do they?ā What do you meannn what do you meannnnn#What is this contempt for denji. Does she see herself as moral or part of those that are city mice bc theyāre undeserving of a calm life???#Maybe famine only feels fed on humans and their blood š¤ or their fear. man idk idk idk idk but i wanna see more of her quirks#And before someone says ābut every demon likes to drink bloodā power is especially fixated on it tho cmannnn#Did Angel lie when he said he liked seeing humans die?? Did his haunting thing become worse after meeting Aki?? Did he suppress it#because he feels like he doesnāt belong as a devil??? bc heās suppressing his memories of the villagers he cared about??#Has he just been trying so hard not to care for so long. Passive bc he thought thatās all he could or should be#AGHHHHH#Spoilers#Thereās a lot more iād have liked to touch on like the popular theory that Makima was *raised* by the government#and iāve seen a take that the āmy friend at a farmā thing is all euphemism from makima about her troublesome human killing job ykyk#but i think the phrasing is too literal and natural for that. The snow and soil talk everything. Itās a perfect allegory but it can be both
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After KH 3 and everything, I wonder if Riku knows about Anti-Sora and knows what that Side of him is.
Does he ever wonder about when Sora became a heartless? Like late at night does he ever think about his actions all those years ago in Hollow Bastion (I think thatās where it happened right??)
Do these questions ever plague him in the night and he canāt sleep because he feels at fault and heās tired of feeling this way but Sora isnāt there anymore to help him understand thatās itās okay?
#kingdom hearts#soriku#anyways Iām back on my CoM shit and just had this short little question in my mind#I like sad Riku. and idk why. I love happy Riku and Sora too donāt get me wrong#but sad Riku just hits a part inside of me the right way. idk. but yeah I feel like Riku carries a lot#of depression once Sora is gone. itās basically 358/2 days all over again but WORSE#SINCE HE DOESNT KNOW WHERE HE IS LIKE IN MY OTHER POSTšššš#riku x sora#sora x riku#me playing chain of memories
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My post about Anya is making like a little ruckus on Twitter and I think itās crazy how many people like have a problem with it.
Like you donāt have to agree with how I characterize Anya and her actions but itās more like, why are you focused on only one aspect of her character? Why are you removing nuance from the situation? I donāt see it as giving Curly the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing better for Anya, but as exploring his character and hers relationship with a the very little authentic facts we get about them. In truth, thereās a lot more I wish Curly did, even if it wasnāt pragmatic but I realize the issue there.
The first psychological horror game in a while thatās real intricate in its storytelling and makes you need to really need to address the morality of intentions and its already getting torn asunder smh š
#I donāt know if itās the case of people who hate curly and think he shouldāve just killed Jimmy wonāt accept anything else#but I really am trying to get the idea that they were stuck for over a year in space together on a ship barely kept together with wildly#different and conflicting personalities who also got more hostile because they know they are going home to unemployment#it sounds heartless to say and he should have prioritized her more but in his head thatās not the only thing he has to manage and he has to#fit the necessary actions to take in his head with all that including his perception of them as a friend vs as a boss#idk I just donāt believe Curly was comforting Jimmy with the intent of helping him get rid of Anya. he wanted to help both of them he went#about it horribly like the game is literally about realizing how misguided you can be and that responsibility#and how to be responsible look different even if there are better options like itās just weird just block my ass dawg#also I think the argument of how could the situation be worse if he stopped Jimmy is stupid cause itās under the guise that Curly would#assume someone he trusted would just try and commit murder suicide or heād get degloved and all his crew directly#or indirectly killed by that friend like sorry if thatās a reach statement like adding#your supplementary thoughts is how analysis is born but adding facts about events we donāt know happened and treating them like character#truths is lame is a cop out from actually engaging with parts of the story that adds grey areas to characters you wants to see in black#this is just a stupid like thing to me but it makes me sad cause I donāt even hate seeing depictions of Curly as more aware and#accommodating to Jimmy purposely but I need you to understand he thought he was doing the right thing for both his friends and his closest#friend but the key point is he thought he was doing right for both of them like what game were we both watching???#mouthwashing#like just block me pls like Anya would not share ur mindset or hold ur hand like do more than just pity her if you like her so much
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calling harry aĀ ācan openerā was SUCH a good play for so many reasons i think about it every day.
in the context of his work, it makes him a tool. as many people have pointed out, including martin luiga, part of the hdb tragedy is that he simply cannot leave the force, and his superiors know that and are using it to their advantage. no matter what happens, even if harry hated every nanosecond of every bit of the work and wanted to leave, he canāt and wonāt leave. they can leverage anything they want against him and then reel him back in with a facade of kindness when theyĀ āallowā him to keep his job, as long as he does what they want him to. the 41st knows he has this inexplicable talent with people and they use him for it. heās a cop: that talent can be used in so many awful ways, to push so many different agendas. and they wonāt even be his own. a can opener has no particular desire to open a can, aside from maybe the satisfaction of fulfilling a purpose. a can opener has no agency, itās just a tool for someone else to use to get what they want. and heās learned to be okay with being used as long as it means he gets to stay. his complacency with this system makes him guilty even if heās also being harmed by it.
but in the context of his personal life you kind of... flip it. the people around him are going to be opened up whether they want to be or not, and itās terrible for his relationships. itās shown that the questions, the prying- the can-opening- itās become inextricable from who he is as a person. itās like he doesnāt know how else to communicate, except itās hardly communication when youāre just ripping people open. heās invasive as all hell, although whether he means to be is debatable. heās the kind of person that wants to take things apart to see what makes them tick. he dissects people, but really thatās too delicate of a word for what he does; if he doesnāt get what he wants right up front, heāll abandon all subtlety and go for brute force. if he canāt get your screws loose heāll just smash you on the ground and pick through your pieces until heās satisfied, and if what he did to you isnāt fixable? oh well, there are other cans to open.Ā
and heāll use it for personal gain: we already know he is (was?) manipulative. once he knows how you operate, he knows how to make you keep him. he can yell or he can cry; he can threaten you or he can threaten himself; he can be completely suffocating or he can withdraw completely; he can be an incorrigible liar or brutally honest; he can present himself as a threat or a joke or a talent. heās a chimera- thatās why heās got this inexplicable magnetism, even when people know they shouldnāt like or trust him. fidelity of character means nothing to him. heāll be whatever he needs to be as long as it gets him what he wants. the can-opening is just his way in.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#and it works on us the audience as well!#look at how many different versions of harry there are out there. each tailored to our individual preferences#we exaggerate and minimize his traits according to what we want to see. he's can-opening us too!#it's just like. of course his job will frame the can opening as a positive thing#but it's honestly one of his worst traits. or at least it is when he doesn't keep it in check#there's nothing wrong with wanting to understand people but the way he goes about it is harmful to everyone including himself#he's doing it because he has ulterior motives like 99.999998% of the time#this is mostly about pre-martinaise harry but i have no doubts that post-martinaise harry can go right back to this btw#a lot of us prefer to think of harry as drastically improving after martinaise which is great and i'd like to hope he does but.#it's also good to consider the overwhelming possibility that he will go right back to being a total shithead#and that may be completely unintentionally! which almost makes it worse!#ALSO. this is part of why kim makes a very good foil#for the most part kim will stonewall anything he doesn't feel like sharing#harry needs to respect boundaries and by god does kim have a lot of those (affectionate)#HOWEVER kim is definitely susceptible to the can opening as well#wait okay i have another post idea.#anyway thanks for reading. as always feel free to add and share thoughts!#kiwipost#hdb meta
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