#AND THE WHOLE WORD WILL KNOW YOUR NAME
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PEAKKKKKKKK
PEAK FUCKING FICTIONNNNNNNN
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABHBAMDBSGA7APW02URBR NWY26271KQNWVWYEYW0Q98WC7C5HWQJ1K2O4OFUSQLKLSJMMMMA HAHAHAHAHA
#SONIC FRONTIERS#SONIC FRONTIERS THE FINAL HORIZON#SONIC#SONIC THE HEDGEHOG#SUPER SONIC#IM GONNA FUCKING LOSE IT#SEPTEMBER 28TH#MARK YOUR FUCKING CALENDARS#MY LIFE SHALL CHANGE#YOUR LIFE SHALL CHANGE#AND THE WHOLE WORD WILL KNOW YOUR NAME#WHEN WE DANCE WITH DESTINYYYYYYYYY
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I was thinking on the recent chapter, and I realized that the S1 ending song, 'Namae Wo Yobu Yo' is so connected to this chapter, and Shin Soukoku?? How else do you recognize somebody, without face or voice? It's one of my favorite openings, but it definitely reminded me even more of them, now the story has progressed even further, the parallels in the animation too, are so connected to the chapter!^^
Thank you, I will. Be thinking about this for the next six years.
#I got stuck on this ask because I felt like I needed to add something but really what is there to add?#They love each other your honor#atsushi nakajima#ryūnosuke akutagawa#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bsd ch 119#people asks me stuff#I'm always so emotional over sskk calling out each other's names. You know how it is...#To be fair it's something I've always gotten emotional over no matter the characters#It's just... The simplicity and rawness of the act.#When emotions are so strong and the reaction so spontaneous there's really no other words than the other's name as it is.#It's so simple and striking. Sometimes less is really more.#No other words could fit but the other's name because that's all that matters– their whole their being their existence. Them. Their name.#And with sskk specifically there's this kind of imaginary of running after each other–#as rivals‚ and as lovers‚ because there's really no difference in that you know?
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staff logging on to tumblr dot com today
#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site#changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too#this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear#if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine#the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money#someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont#tumblr staff#EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but#that doesnt stop the post from being stupid#the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase#if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did#so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post#edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post#they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us#i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded#and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money#tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol#ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years#but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one
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random though
SQQ (SJ specifically ) is definitely SQH’s type and I find it hilarious how we don’t talk about it enough
#What’s the ship name called?#Scumplane#??#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#you know#Cold beauty#Would beat your ass#(Though one is more physical while the other is just words)#Not just words actually#Man would ruin your whole career
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there is not enough femslash in batcest circles. the girls deserve to be just as weird about each other as the boys are. if BruDick gets to be weird father/son/brothers/lovers/friends/rivals/soulmates then it is only fair that Babs/Cass get to be mother/daughter/sisters/lovers too. Something about that deep intrinsic but undefinable love that is born out of trauma, especially if you consider Cass not knowing what healthy love looks like in the first place. i think it's fun and deserves just as much fandom content.
besides that, you can get even more niche with rarepairs like Helena/Steph. Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma is already a fantastic comic and even though it's their only real canon interaction it has so much potential. very comparable to TimJay in how Helena tries to get Steph to understand her morals and the corruption you could play with it.
batman: huntress/spoiler: blunt trauma (1998)
that comic also highlights on how both Steph and Helena are outcasts of the Batfamily and don't have the approval of Bruce to be doing what they do in "his city". I think there's so much Potential in Helena taking Steph under her wing because Bruce won't let her in and it becomes a weird codependent toxic sapphic mess. I think the protectiveness Helena feels over Steph from the get-go is so clear and the way she wants to look out for Steph, wants to make sure Steph understands the real world? I love them. Helena should be allowed to steal Steph, actually. I think it'd be fun.
there are a lot of other possibilities too like Babs/Steph or even getting weird with Helena Bertinelli/Helena Wayne and the existential question of "is it selfcest or not." But these two specifically live in my head rent-free, especially Helena/Steph and one day I'll convince everyone else to ship it too.
#batcest#necrotic festerings#how do i tag ships that are almost non-existent#helena bertinelli x stephanie brown#cassandra cain x barbara gordon#as resident huntress fan my answer to the is helena w/helena b selfcest depends entirely on which version of helena wayne you're using.#pre-crisis!helena wayne/pre-flashpoint!helena bertinelli? yes i agrue is selfcest adjacent at least#because helena bertinelli was meant to be an adaptation of helena wayne#if it's jsa (2022)!helena wayne then it's *not* selfcest because they co-exist in the same universe#and according to current lore helena wayne was named after bertinelli and took the name huntress in her honor#which is a *choice* for sure but that's a different post#i still think shipping them is super fun in a “don't meet your heroes” sort of way with helena wayne time travelling#and then potentially running into bertinelli and realizing she's not what wayne thought she was and it being weird toxic shit#as for new-52 helena wayne. i do not acknowledge her and will not comment.#*god* I hate new-52 huntress.#(imo it would be selfcest tho bc they tried to make helena wayne a bertinelli clone. so. there's that.)#i'm going to write a helena/steph fic some day and none of you bitches can stop me#yeah yeah we have stephcass but y'all have sanitized the fuck out of that to convince yourselves it's not batcest and that made it boring.#and helena/babs is neat and all but i prefer helena/zinda when it comes to BoP ships#i should've included panels for cass/babs but it's been a while since i read batgirl (2000) so none immediately came to mind#i have a *lot* more helena/steph thoughts but no braincell to word them. know i will talk about them again.#they got one whole comic and now i won't let them go#also cass/helena is fun for combating morals and the complicated batgirl mantle#cass wears the batgirl suit *helena* made y'all think i can't make that romantic bc i can and will#if we have robin pile then give me batgirl pile#babs/helena/steph/cass hell throw in bette too.
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TINIEST littlesr ITTIEST BITTIEST detail that I noticed. Kabru calls Toshiro, Toshiro!
And yeah, like duh, that's obvious, its his name but it still shows how good hes at with connecting to people, contrasing Laois and Namari who STILL call him Shuro despite HAVING to have heard the right name at some point (probably). He still calls him Toshiro despite the people who were (in his eyes) closer to him calling him by a "nickname"
Him and Kabru have similar communication styles, I know he probably wouldnt say it (Cause Toshiros allergic to saying his real feelings out loud), but I bet he really appreciates Kabru for that.
#and Toshiro still doesnt call Namari out on it!#Toshiro! my man! Say words! no ones gonna read your mind!#i know that was the whole conflict with that one episode but still#i know if I started hearing two names to refer to the same person I'd immediately get confused so props to Kabru for keeping it straight.#dungeon meshi
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Every time I think about what Ahti II would sound like I always have to metaphorically beat myself on the head, “he sounds Swedish!!! He sounds Swedish!!! HE!! SOUNDS!!! SWEDISH!!!!!” I accidentally make him British every single time
#hard to conjure up a swedish accent in my brain for some reason#well to be clear he sounds finnish to people who are not finnish but finns incorrectly clock his accent as swedish instead#this is because the language of surish is like if helsinki slang got to develop on its own for thousands of years#the merfolk population of osmeri is actually quite diverse with people all over the baltic region ehh.. “coming together” to put it nicely#its tricky to find a good headcanon voice because currently what i think is the closest is my sister doing a swedish accent lmao#wow surish. you should get your own post. im not making a whole conlang but surish is nice :)#the english name of the official language of osmeri comes from the english hearing from the scandinavians that the merfolk speak in sjösprå#sjöspråk actually meaning seaspeak which is what people around the baltic tend to call the language. surish is merenpuhe in finnish#(not to be confused with vedenpuhe which means waterspeak; a spell and the act of being able to speak clearly underwater)#sjöspråk evolved a bit. shousprok. surespeak. …surish? surish!#i dont actually know what surish is in surish. ive yet to decide! it would be nice to have a name that means “our language”#i suppose its a good thing surish is a nonexistent language but its a bit hard to come up with words that are like… almost-finnish#wait whoops. i was literally only meant to make a post about ahti sounding swedish lmaoooo anyway yeah lol#ahti II#sirpaverse#not fish
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monitoring by deco*27 could be a soldierspy song if you just give me 12 hours and 5 cans of monster to explain
#not rb#I need to stop saying this type of shit#already feeling like that one “sponge plus star equals clam” spongebob gif#“guys I think apple is orange” *never elaborates* *leaves*#okay but listen. LISTEN‚#pov character (of the mv) is a paranoid freak projecting a mix of fear (of judgement) and desire onto the singer.#said singer ultimately just wants them to be okay but might be unusually persistent/devoted in said endeavour (up to interpretation??)#“lean on me with your whole weight” thinks of their dynamic in emblue where soldier constantly sacrifices for spy for practically no reason#(other than his commitment to the system)#is that how spy sees him? a willing‚ almost eager pawn?#“call my name‚ and anytime I’ll come hither” do you get it. Do You Understa#also just. The theme of perceived inseparability#“I'll always be by your side” are words the pov character is putting in the singer's mouth#(well. the entire song is. but you get it)#(actually on a meta level this song works best when sung by vsynth/vocaloid bc of both the fictitious nature of the singer and the fact tha#that *all* vocaloid songs are technically putting words into the mouth of an interpretation of said singer. if that makes any sense)#sorry that's off topic anyways my point being#the pov character is both put off and endeared by whom they perceive to be a weirdo watching them#this is the closest they have to a support system. this is the only person they really have batting for them#they are also unwilling to really open up to this interpretation of the singer because it's easier to imagine that they already know#that the pov character won't have to go through the trouble of exposing themselves. that the singer understands in the way they need to#and is blindly‚ unquestioningly loyal Anyway#remind you (me) of anyone#this is how I justify listening to this fucking song on repeat for the past 72 hours#this is also how I spread my “soldier should lovingly maul spy because they're both freaks” agenda#ty for coming to my ted talk. I had to save this in my drafts first to make sure I didn't hit the tag limit 💀
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Shinsou needs you to look at him so bad but also can't keep eye contact with you at all
Whore. Vying for your attention like a child only not being able to handle it cuz he's really just a baby deep down.
And you already know he can give the most dangerous pair of bedroom eyes if he really wants to, just has never liked someone as much as he likes you to actually want to use them seriously.
I feel like it's funny because, before you start dating, you think the reason he can't look you in the eye is just because he's aloof and doesn't care, but after you start, it's frustrating because it's so intimate and lovely and he still can't bring himself to do it! Despite always needing to be in your vicinity or up in your business, turning away the second you acknowledge him.
Getting-all-flustered-ass when you pay attention to him like he's not staring/glaring down everyone else... Yes, I would be kinda Pissed.
(It's really just because he's shy. Being all sexy and intimidating to keep people from thinking they can get all close to him.
The first time you go to the club together as a couple, you catch him giving sexy eyes to a guy chatting him up, and the second you walk over to confront him about it, he's melting under your gaze and ignoring the other person altogether... embarrassed and squirmy at the thought of you being mad at him but needing you to know it's just because he loves you so.
He just can't help it!!! And now the stranger is mad that you got him so easily... bamboozled.)
#shinso#I AM NOT DOING MY WORK THAT IS WHY I AM HERE#I AM SO NERVOUS OH MY GOD#anyway u know like#he's one of those guys where being intimate is kinda easy when he knows the person isnt gonna actually get anywhere#but the second youre touching his arm and looking him in the eyes and saying his given name he's like#OH SH*T !!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!! //in a pos way cuz he loves u#and its weird bc u dont know whats happening?? u thought he likes u???#but he's just not used to such sweet affection#and it takes him a couple... months for him to get settled with u and be able to cuddle without getting shy#and yes he teases people with that#acting like he's gonna dom someone's *ss until you walk over and he's the sweetest man ever in the whole world#and blushes at ur every word#tbh idk if this makes sense i just have a particular vision of it + him that i want to portray#its really surprising how much ppl love shinso but don't talk abt it#sigh#caitie things#anon#gen
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i'm so curious: what's your favorite thing you've written? something that makes you nod and go, "yeah, that's it right there. i did that." just the best combination of words you've ever churned out in your personal opinion. it makes you proud just Thinking about it. could be a sentence, a paragraph, etc.
very cute ask anon, thank you. im going to assume for your benefit that you mean specifically my icemav writing—obviously I write outside of top gun and am very proud of that stuff but it wouldn’t make sense out of context.
There’s a lot of more recent stuff that I’m extremely extremely proud of on a technical level, but I’m prouder of this paragraph below on a deeper more existential level.
This paragraph was one of the first parts of WWGATTAI i ever wrote—august 12, i think, well before I had fully realized the characters’ voices or their attitudes towards life/each other; I only had about 5k written of what is now a 300k+ project (at the time of writing this paragraph i wanted it to be 10k max) and had no real outline, didn’t know who or what I was dealing with, hadnt seen TGM in two months, had done no research (so it’s not at all politically/militarily accurate or anything, why the FUCK is ice going to fucking GUAM)—and STILL this wound up being my favorite paragraph in the entire fucking series. not to suck my own dick or anything. I’m STILL so proud of this paragraph, 9 months and 275k+ words later, even though i Absolutely Would Not write it this way now.
#narrative distance both incredibly close and incredibly far#he’s trying to rationalize this whole situation and by extent the whole plot of his life#we’re inside his head as he tries to convince both Pete and himself of this huge huge lie#which is that leaving (right after he fucked their relationship and their best friend just died) is worth it for the navy’s sake#and it will make him a good man#in the masculine strong man leadership sense#and Pete (first name instead of last name; über vulnerable in the worst way because he’s crying yet doesn’t want to be seen crying)#counters all of this lie with—does it? does it really mean you’re a good man? it means you’re the weakest most subservient man i know#bending over backwards for the navy instead of your FAMILY#yeah i would absolutely not write this paragraph this way NOW but i am still so proud of what it represents in the story#& the very experimental 2nd person without quotation marks is i think done very well#at least for august 2022 me#some wording/phrasing/detail issues but other than that—a great paragraph!#again not to suck my own dick but you asked!#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#edts notes#asks#this is a terrible chapter in aggregate but it has some of the best diamond-in-the-rough moments in the whole series#ughhh the Pete this has nothing to do with Afghanistan; pete this has nothing to do with iraq etc line…. SOO good omg i love it sorry
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Who was ur first oc (send pics lol)
We don't talk about them-
#I dont have the photos of her tho-#but her name was ophia#stupid name ik#i know what you're thinking my friend#dont say a word#or else Ill reveal your acc to the whole class#ya got that?#/ask/#:3
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was refreshing myself on some old myth for a bit and i read the french and english wiki page for the Charybdis' mythos, and i'm noticing something that i don't know if it's just the wiki being inaccurate or an actual difference (from the linguistic page it seems to be an actual difference) but
In English there's this expression about choosing between two equally bad horrible situations by saying "choosing between Scylla and Charybdis"
But in French the expression is "to fall from Charybdis to Scylla" and instead of a choice it's about managing to get out of a horrible situation only to get thrown into an even worse situation (the equivalent of the English's expression ""falling out of the frying pan into the fire")
if i believe the linguistic page there was a bit of borrowing around and technically both expressions are used in both language, but you're more likely to find the first one in English and the second one in French (very likely because Victor Hugo popularized "to fall from Charybdis to Scylla" with Les Misérables) (does not mean it started in French the origin of the expression is still Greek anyway, just talking about why the saying is more popular in French with weirdos like me)
idk i think it's cool on a sort of metatextual perspective that English People saw this myth and when "oof imagine picking between those two" while French people just chugged a bottle of wine and went "And it's a BINGO and LIFE SUCKS and it NEVER GETS EASIER you get BOTH OF THEM BABEYYY"
#in my personal honor defense before anyone ask i know this myth and expression ever since i was a kid#there was an Odyssey cartoon when i was a kid i was constantly watching and it was like. my first introduction to the mythos and stuff#i did read bits and pieces of the book and read lots of wiki pages in the year#and i used to use this expression until i forgot how to say Charybdis. My dyslexia stopping me from being a pedantic intellectual.#(was always funny as a kid to just say that in front of adults who were just staring like hey what the fuck)#why am i refreshing myself now? Is it because of the whole buzz about the Odyssey lately? No. Absolutely not.#i'm looping a song i really like and that is very melancholic (yes in my Solas playlist) & it has the word Maelstrom which i didnt know#which got me into a wiki page about those and made me go 'ooooh like Char-- wait what's the name again'#and so i was doing a wiki dive on Charybdis before looking further into things#because i am terrified of sea monsters/horrors in a very morbidly curious way#i love scrolling through google image of sea monsters while just trembling in fear the whole time (real. not a joke.)#so i was doing that and i was reading the french wiki first and saw back this expression#but the french wiki being a bit short i switched to english and was :O to see the expression wasn't the same#so then i started a deep dive on the linguistic wiki page#to answer your question: no i was never diagnosticed officially with ADHD but enough qualified people have told me 'huh do you have ADHD or#anyway fun stuff. love language. love how we look at mythos and create expressions from it#even when it's dissimilar from one language to the next because the origin of the expression is different in popularity#or simply because the horrors of the myths can be interpreted differently by the people making those expressions#ISNT IT FUN. LANGUAGE AND MYTHS ARE COOL.#ichatalks#wait i didnt even finish checking the lyrics of the song i was checking give me a sec
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#fuck me sorry but that post actually unlocked so many memories for me rn and i simply must get them out lmao#anyways i just wish there was a way i could tell my geography teacher how much of an impact she made on my life#it absolutely shook my world view up when we did our lesson on migration and she asked me what the positives to immigration were#me. a brown girl living in britain her whole life where all she really saw and understood was an inherent hatred for immigrants.#and so i prattled off the textbook answer- they bring people who can do labour and earn more money for the country#and shes like 'and?' and i drew a blank. i couldnt think of anything else. what else were they worthy for?#and she explains. she says music. and food. and culture. and god. im tearing up just thinking about it. like in that single moment she just#fucking changed everything for me. like yeah. yeah ppl do bring that. they make this place everything it is. they bring Life to this place.#i feel like my words are so jumbled lmao idk how else to explain it i am simply soooooooooooooooooo emo like seriously#and it wasnt after i didnt have her as a teacher i was told my one of my friends that she always gives the best student in her class a#a yellow ring binder. the rest get green. guess what one i got. LIKE IM GOING TO CRY AND NEVER STOP. and i didnt know!! i never fucking knew#i literally remember her that day when she was like ah seems im all out @ H could you follow me pls and ill get you answer one from storage#and then she gave me a yellow ring binder like. fuck me man. fuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkk#and i think back so much because she had a scottish sounding second name but she was married. and part of me thinks maybe her parents were#polish? just from context clues. but i dont actually know. and part of me is like am i just romanticising her? i didnt actually know who she#was. all i have is these little moments and how she treated me and the fact i liked her class#and people were so rude about her btw. like thought she was a dickhead. but she wasnt. she actually wasnt she just didnt take ppls shit. :((#and now im remembering that time i didnt do my homework and my friend took my jotter from the pile AS SHE WAS MARKING THEM and brought it#to me so i could copy off her#and ngl i always thought it was funny and sneaky but now im realising she probably fucking knew and didnt say anything because she liked us#god im gonna cry#i hope youre ok out there and i hope youre happy. i hope my idea of you is correct.#*insert spongebob laying on ground meme*#le text post
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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To soothe it further, Dr. Moon totally said it. Probably kept waking her up at 'night' to tell her he loved her :) It did probably eventually end in River answering with 'I hate you' for being waken up all the time
('no, you don't' <3)
Oh…!!! No “I love you” until they’re BOTH dead so the Doctor no longer has to fear the razor-sharp pain of losing her. 😖 Layers of emotional constipation, finally falling away…
This is the most perfect kind of soothing because it’s complicated emotions honestly — and you are so real — because it always fits them, even if I personally like to think eleven said “I love you” when he was dying, well, it’s easier to say these things when you’re dying and may not have to live with the pain that comes with love that’s fated to end…
Night-long “I love you”s when they’re both dead. (😭 “no, you don’t.” After ten giving the wrong response to “I hate you,” that would heal all. 😭)
On the vein of the Doctor’s various equivalents to “I love you” that he definitely would’ve said if he couldn’t actually say “I love you” in those moments — I once heard a headcanon that eleven whispered “you are always and completely forgiven” in LKH and honestly, that’s the only possibility (apart from “I love you”) that really makes sense to me — if something’s gonna persuade you last-minute to save the man you were raised to kill, why not being (lovingly) forgiven as he loses consciousness?
RIVER NOT ONE PERSON ON THIS SHIP NOT ONE LIVING THING IS WORTH YOU
#your reasoning makes a ton of sense as heartbreaking as it is. that’s the Doctor for ya#(I just hate the whole “he told her his name to avoid dying w/o having told it” thing. that’s what I meant in those tags lmao)#(it wouldn’t fit ‘i’m sure she knows’ and moreover would be extremely empty for it to be a meaningless plot thing)#(I still like to believe he said “ily” though. It’s easier to say these things when you expect to be dead.)#(but I’m not saying my belief makes it more likely)#😭😭😭#thank you for the soothing 🥰🥰🥰#and I LOVE hearing your interpretations always!!!#River song#Doctor moon#words by seaweed
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the worst thing that has come out of me losing every art file from this year is that i can't just eyedrop palettes now. the world is agony
#just me hi#'why weren't your things backed up' my use of neurons is strange and incomprehensible#which might be an oxymoron. but only i am the fool here so#(^ there are so many conflicting words)#mannnn#and i lost my favorite image for noise :(#i could probably find it easy peasy but. still#sigh. sigh. sighs a little harder. sighs#/oh i think i forgot to say i got my computer running :D#sort of! it needs an ethernet cord bc the driver got pulled into a pied piper pyramid scheme but we don't wanna talk about it lmao#OH i also named my computer BoopBedoop. say hello to Boop#was also going around asking my siblings to donate pronouns for xem so if anyone has any let me know :3#/man my computer has gotten tom bradyed AND pied piper mlmed this year. hashtag geez#girl you have been through so much [<- has been putting her through this]#though you know what the tom brady wasn't my fault so. [hands up]#getting 'tom bradyed' has become a whole meme in our family#watch out he'll get you too!! do NOT sit under shelves that hold books but aren't made for them !! bad vibes hfbvhsf#//in other news...#there is not much news lol#i can't seem to figure out how to install the dashboard fixer this time. no idea why#it'll prolly sort itself out though hfvsh#//i have to fix all my clip studio preferences now ://#sigh. sighs. sighs a little harder. on my way lol :>#bYe
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