#AND IT SAYS IT CAN GET SO BAD U NEED SURGERY??

[averagetmntfan]

TW: mention of picking @ scabs

ok Ik i said i was going to bed but- I was doing smth research and-

I think I finally found out wtf is wrong w/ me

It’s called “dermatillomania”-

I don’t wanna self Diagnose or anything but-

I do have a Habit of Doing the stuff listed-

So uh

ye-

“Yay me”

[tearfest]

mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3

[ji-lixie]

ive never hated a doctor quicker than i have now.

[puck-luck]

evening embrace | jack hughes

warnings: oral (m! & f! receiving) aka 69 BABYYYY!!!!! whiny jack, silly jack, established realtionship af, very domestic pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader request: "jack hughes coming home from practice or a game all grumpy and frustrated and just ranting endlessly about whatever is pissing him off so u just casually decide to give him head mid-rant. without a word you just start palming him over his pants while he’s mid sentence and he’d be like “baby, what are you doing?” and you’d casually make your way to your knees with a shrug and say “you’re stressed, seem like you could use some relief” and once you’ve got his dick out and you’re about to bring it to your lips you’d say “you can continue with your ranting baby, promise i won’t get distracted” with an innocent little pout i-" wc: 4423

Jack had a bad day. The Devils just had their first few preseason games and Jack, although he felt ready to get back into his normal routine, feels like his shoulder injury from last season is still a little tender. He can’t pinpoint the exact moment that he snapped, but he thinks that he blacked out around the time when he missed a pivotal pass that resulted in a breakaway and goal in the game today. He’s never been so angry after a game– and this is just preseason.

He bursts through the door to your shared apartment, already ranting. 

“This is shit,” Jack complains, dropping his bags in the doorway and kicking off his shoes. 

“What’s shit, Jacky?” You ask from the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and reading a book. Now that he’s home, though, you set the book down and give him your attention.

“I’m not playing good enough,” Jack huffs out, frustrated and annoyed. “It’s my stupid shoulder. I’ve rehabbed it, I’ve gotten it fixed through surgery, and I still feel like I’m not playing at 100%.”

“Aw, honey, come sit,” you say, patting the cushion beside you. 

Jack stalks over, collapsing onto the couch cushions and pulling you onto his lap. He kisses you hello before going back to his ranting. 

“I knew I needed to work more on my wrister before the game,” he says. “But Keefe wanted us to run drills at camp so that we could be better all-around.”

You hum when you need to, but Jack’s just complaining and pouting. He had a tough day and wants to get all of his negative thoughts out, knowing that you don’t mind listening to him when he has problems.

“And I appreciate being a good team all-around, you know,” Jack continues. “But there should be times during practice when a guy can go work on his own shit, which will make the team better overall once he’s perfected the skill.”

“Maybe you can talk to Nico about that,” you murmur, tracing the letters on Jack’s shirt. 

“I don’t want to be that guy,” Jack grumbles. “It’s a team sport. If Keefe wants us to practice as a team, then that’s what we’ll do. He’s the coach.”

You nod absentmindedly, adjusting yourself on Jack’s lap. Your hand continues to pet over his covered chest as he talks. His muscles are defined; it’s clear that he put in the work during his time off. You know he did, actually. You’ve watched his body swell and gain muscle mass over the summer and you’ve been able to see the changes up close and personal.

But not this past week: training camp started and Jack has been so tired and stressed out that he’ll come home, eat dinner with you, and collapse into bed with nary a makeout sesh anywhere. He’s been too tired to get off with you, although you know it relaxes him and helps him keep his mind clear, so you haven’t pushed.

Yet, as he talks about his day, you can’t stop thinking about how much better this would be if your lips were wrapped around his dick.

Your hand drops to his lap, palming his length over his shorts and interrupting Jack’s sentence.

He catches your wrist. “Baby, what are you doing?” Jack asks. “I’m talking to you.”

You blink up at him innocently, moving from his lap and sliding down to the ground. You situate yourself prettily on your knees, right between his thighs. Again, you touch the front of his shorts, rubbing the area like you’re giving him a handjob over his pants. “You seem stressed,” you tell him, simply. “Like you could use some relief.”

Jack’s mouth is agape, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “I– um, yeah, I mean, I guess I’m stressed,” he replies, agreeing with you with an additional nod.

“Let me help,” you offer, cupping his bulge with your hand before leaning in to brush a fleeting kiss against the growing tent. You mouth along for a moment before bringing his waistband down, revealing his tight boxer-briefs. His semi is much more noticeable in just the underwear, straining more against the fabric as he grows harder. You fit your lips over the tip of his cock and suck slightly, through his shorts, just to make Jack jump.

“Yeah,” Jack agrees, touching the back of your neck hesitantly. He moves like he’s still confused and not quite sure what’s happening.

“Keep talking, baby,” you say to him as you pull his length out of his underwear and start to stroke it. You press a kiss to the crown of his cock, then pull back. “I’m listening. I promise I won’t get distracted.” You blink up at him through your eyelashes, watching countless emotions pass over Jack’s face before you kitten-lick over his slit and hum in approval. 

“It’s just hard,” Jack says, his eyes still wide and blown because of the shock that came over him when you made your bold move. “To, uh–”

He trails off, gesturing helplessly as your tongue traces the veins on the underside of his cock. You hum, bobbing your head in a commiserating, blatantly sarcastic nod. You know what you’re doing to him. You know that Jack goes boneless whenever you suck him off, that he promptly loses his words when you gag on his cock. 

So, you pull away from him. You let your spit pool where it lay while your lips were around him– able to use it as lube as you pump him, blinking up at him like you’re unimpressed. “C’mon, J. I thought you had things to be frustrated about.”

“I do!” Jack exclaims, finding his words after your mouth parts from his body.

“Oh, you do,” you repeat, a smug little smile on your face. “So tell me about it.”

“I– well– it doesn’t matter now,” Jack whines, his hips twitching under your calm palm. 

You furrow your brow and tilt your head to the side. “It doesn’t?”

Jack covers his face with his hands and makes a frustrated noise.

“Well, if that doesn’t matter, then why am I doing this?” You ask, feigning complete confusion even as you continue to stroke him. Jack has obviously gotten side tracked– and the relief of your mouth is like a wet rag on a dry erase board: it wipes everything completely clean and fresh. “I thought I was offering you something sweet to make up for your bad day.”

“You are, just– stop stopping!” 

You move your head from side to side with each word in your response: “You can’t make me!”

At a stalemate, Jack deflates. He frowns to himself, then pointedly at you. You’re still stroking him, just teasing him, waiting for him to sweetly ask you to continue until–

Jack pulls you up onto the couch and takes your place, sinking to the ground on his knees with his pants and underwear pooling around his ankles. He doesn’t bother to take his clothes off before he touches your leggings reverently with a light ghosting of his fingertips. He brushes a sweet kiss against the inside of your thigh as he touches you, but the sweetness and teasing doesn’t last very long.

“How was your day?” Jack asks with a smirk and another kiss to your covered skin. He pulls at the waistband of your leggings, dragging them down your legs in a totally obvious way.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” you warn.

“Not doing anything,” Jack teases. 

“Don’t lie to me, Jack Hughes.”

“Full name,” Jack notes offhandedly. He licks his lips and rubs his thumb along your slit, still covered by your godforsaken panties. If he’s going to do something, he had better do it. “Just giving my baby a taste of her own medicine,” he adds.

“My day was fine, thank you very much,” you retort.

Jack hums, fiddling with the edge of your panties, the part of the underwear that’s covering his favorite part of you. “What’d you do?” He asks.

“I showered,” you say.

“Without me,” Jack adds. You don’t have time to berate him for acting like a fuckboy– not when he starts mouthing over your hipbones until he finds the waistband of your panties. He takes the band between his teeth and drags the fabric down to meet your leggings. All the while, he stares up at you with his own wide, blown, horny eyes. 

“And I had breakfast, then I worked for a while, then I got lunch with my coworker like I told you about last night–” You continue, but Jack interrupts, pulling away from your bare cunt.

He pouts a bit. “What coworker?” Jack asks. “Who was it again?”

You muster the courage to glare at him. Jack just grins, his thumb sweeping through your folds like he hasn’t got a care in the world. 

“Sadie,” you remind him. “The new girl in accounting.”

“Oh, Sadie,” Jack drawls, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. “How could I forget about Sadie?” He smiles at you briefly to show that he’s messing with you, then nears your mound. “What did you eat?” He asks, just before replacing his thumb with the tip of his tongue, pride written all over his face as you take a deep breath.

“We got those Mediterranean bowls you like,” you say. You don’t tell him that there’s one in the fridge waiting for him.

“Without me,” Jack repeats, sounding a little more forlorn than the first time. Who knew that showering without your boyfriend would be less titillating than a Mediterranean bowl from that place down the street?

Regardless, you still don’t tell him about your little surprise in the kitchen.

“Without you,” you agree. “I can’t always be with you, you know.”

“Mhm, and it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever had to go through,” Jack says, using his thumbs to pull your lips apart so he can really dig in and lavish your cunt. Jack drinks up the gasp that leaves your mouth when his tongue twirls against your clit, then drops lower to press against your entrance. Jack presses a kiss against your entrance before his tongue really works into you, rendering him quiet.

You know he expects you to continue speaking, just as you expected him to continue. One thing you’ve always been better at than Jack is compartmentalizing– you swear it comes with the territory of being a woman compared to being a man– but you’ve missed this so much that you don’t care about his gloating that will come later. 

“Jack, come–”

You interrupt yourself with a breathy gasp, hands flying to his hair. Jack has always loved when you tug at the brown waves adorning his head, so the heady look in his eyes when he looks up at you is no surprise. It’s also no surprise that your gasp has Jack flattening his tongue and showering your cunt with attention.

You had meant to ask him to come back up onto the couch, wanting him to be comfortable, but Jack doesn’t seem to care. You still want him to fill your mouth. There’s a trace of his salty precum on your tongue and the absence of his cock on the muscle leaves you writhing. 

He eats you out messily, getting your juices all over his lips, cheeks, and chin. When he pulls away to catch a breath, you admire how his chest heaves with the effort to fill his lungs before diving back in and the way he licks his lips. You grip his hair, tugging slightly to get his attention, and then Jack’s disheveled baby blues are back on you. He smiles dopily, moving to wrap his lips around your clit, but before he can, you speak.

“Come up here,” you implore, tugging at his hair again. 

“Wanna stay here,” Jack replies, succeeding in his efforts to reconnect with your core this time. 

Despite the shockwaves flying through your body at his powerful suction, you remain steadfast. You’re even able to string a sentence together that has Jack pausing: “Please, J, wanna suck you too,” you complain.

It isn’t long until Jack thinks of a joke to refute you. “Baby, I’m 86, not 69.”

“Jack,” you complain, tugging his hair again indignantly as he laughs against your cunt, enjoying his own joke. “Not funny.”

“Very funny,” Jack mumbles, fitting a finger inside of you and thumbing over your clit in the absence of his mouth. You’re grinding down against him now, not nearly full enough or satisfied enough. Jack’s smirk tells you that there’s more coming. “You want to have my cock in your mouth so bad that you’ll do your least favorite sex position on the couch?”

You groan. Of course he remembered the conversation he walked in on when you had your girlfriends over a couple of months ago– a lengthy, very detailed, very philosophical conversation about which sex positions are practical and impractical, as well as what places are more practical than others. 

You don’t suck Jack off as he eats you out often. It’s not something you ever really feel the need to do, even though Jack has admitted to loving the way you’ll moan against his cock and rock back into his mouth like you’re unsure which is better. The reason you don’t do it often, though, is that you can rarely finish like that. And Jack, being the doting, pussy-drunk boyfriend he is, would rather have you in a position where you’ll come all over his cock or his face rather than struggle to make it to your destination.

As for the couch, you’ve always thought that it’s more fun to ride Jack and distract him from whatever he’s watching on the TV, or for him to bend you over the edges of the furniture to pound into you from behind.

But today– today, you’re confident that you can finish. It’s been over a week since Jack felt like doing anything and you’re needy. You’re not ashamed of it, either– you love your boyfriend and the passion shared between you both is enough to steam up the windows of the apartment. It’s no secret that Jack does everything he can to make you feel good.

Which is how you’re going to convince him to get back on the couch and fill you completely, please you from both ends until you’re boneless and smothering him with your cunt– “The ideal way to die,” according to Jack, and all of his friends who insisted he was right when he dared to bring up sex at one of the parties on the lake house the previous summer. 

“Jack,” you say, simple and plain. You lean forward on the couch, reaching down to cradle his face in your palms. Your hands get sticky with your own slick, but it’s no big deal. After all, you’d already touched Jack’s dick, so it’s not like your hands are clean. You press a fleeting kiss to his nose, making Jack grin widely. “Wanna sit on this pretty face,” you tell him. “While I gag on your cock.”

“Mm, yeah?” Jack asks. The way he perks up is laughable: if he was a dog, he’d be wagging his tail. “Gonna come in my mouth while I come in yours?”

You shiver at the thought of a simultaneous orgasm– your own warmth and relaxation taking over your body while Jack fills you up. You nod slightly, biting your lip to hold back a needy whine. Your eyelashes flutter as you watch Jack stand from his spot between your legs. 

He lays on the couch, his head resting on a throw pillow for some extra leverage. He makes himself comfortable, and it’s a little silly that both of you still have your shirts on, but Jack sticks out his tongue and waves you forward. The position makes you laugh, combined with his antics, so you make a silly move of your own. 

You crawl towards him, across the couch, trying to look like Sophie in Mamma Mia while she and Sky sing ‘Lay All Your Love on Me,’ but there’s no music playing. It’s just you and Jack and your soft little giggles, which are eventually quieted by a sweet kiss and a swipe of Jack’s tongue against your own. You can taste yourself on him and he can taste himself on you, which has Jack smiling into the kiss. His teeth clink against yours for a second, then he pats your hip and you pull away.

“Come have a seat, baby,” Jack invites, unable to wipe the grin off of his face. You shake your head and avert your eyes, blushing a little bit at how giddy you’ve made him with just a few kisses, some attention to his cock, and access to your pussy.

“Forgotten all about your bad day?” You tease.

“It turned out okay, I think,” Jack replies with a wink. He keeps his hands on your body as you turn, then line yourself up with his mouth. You’ve got the perfect view of his cock in this position, standing up and red for you, just waiting for you to lean forward and welcome him into the warm wetness of your mouth.

Jack hasn’t waited to admire you. He’s already sloppily mouthing at your lips, sliding his tongue against your clit. He has his arms looped around your thighs, hands planted squarely on your ass. He grips your cheeks and spreads them so that he can pull you back further and work his tongue inside of you. For your hesitation, he gives your clit a little nip to encourage you forward. It doesn’t hurt, but it does surprise you, and you let out a hushed yelp. Jack giggles before returning to your entrance, prodding at you.

You bend forward, laying across Jack’s body and holding yourself up by laying your forearms on his abdomen. Your left hand pets over the skin on his hip while your right holds his base steady. You gather some spit in your mouth before letting it drip onto his slit. The fluid drips down his cock, but you’re determined to replace your spit with ropes of his cum.

You take him in your mouth as far as you can, moaning when his tip nudges the back of your throat. He twitches in your mouth, involuntary but welcome. You love when he’s unable to control his reactions, doubling down on his enthusiasm at your core. 

You can feel yourself dripping all over Jack’s face. His hands are strong on your hips, pulling you back to grind against his mouth. Taking an arm from around your thigh, he brings his fingers back to your core, sliding two inside of you while he focuses on your clit. 

He’s so messy and he keeps making slurping sounds because he’s so into it, which is completely not sexy, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You treasure the moans and hums that follow the unattractive slurping– Jack’s voice has grown high-pitched and needy, completely intoxicated by your taste.

You imagine him now, cheeks flushed just as pink as yours. Hell, his lips are probably swollen and the same shade of red as his tip. 

You bring a hand up to move your hair to one side of your head, the strands brushing Jack’s thigh and tickling him slightly. It’s necessary for you to give this blowjob your full attention, and you can’t have your hair getting in the way now, not after you’ve been missing Jack’s cock for a full week.

No, you’re just as drunk as he is, moaning and gagging and humming. You pull out all the stops– leaving his cock to kiss over his balls and suck at the skin while you pump his member. Jack’s always enjoyed that extra touch, his hips jumping uncontrollably into your space for the second time tonight.

“Wanna fuck my face?” You ask, words coming out in a rush. 

Jack keens beneath you, holding you closer. He pumps his fingers inside you quickly, working a third into your hole and curling his knuckles until he finds your sweet spot, making you moan wantonly. His hips are moving again, wiggling beneath you until you bring your lips back to his tip. You press a kiss against his slit before opening your mouth as wide as you can, hollowing your cheeks against his shaft until Jack starts to move.

He’s quick like a jack-hammer. His movements are twitchy and shallow because, as you’ve said time and time again, Jack has never been the world’s greatest multitasker. He’s able to perform well on the ice, very athletically minded and capable, but when his mind gets all foggy and sex-crazed, he’s completely helpless. 

He chases his pleasure wildly. He continues to make his sweet, pretty whimpers against your pussy. His tongue flicks over your clit as fast as he can manage while also fingering you and fucking into your mouth– he’s working overtime and his chest is heaving with harsh breaths. You take it, even rolling your hips against his fingers to try and help him out. 

You’d feel bad about making him do all the work, but you’ve known since the beginning of your relationship how Jack feels about making you come: he loves it. It’s better than his own release. He always wants you to come over his tongue or make a mess all over his cock or fingers.

“Baby, baby,” Jack whines against your clit, his lips brushing the nerves as he talks. “Fuck, gonna come, please, please–”

“Uh-huh,” you hum, the best response you can give with your mouth stuffed with his cock. The vibrations send Jack over the edge and he lurches beneath you, pulling his fingers from your hole and replacing them with his tongue. He switches, putting his thumb on your clit and rubbing furious circles until you’re writhing above him.

You’re able to swallow a mouthful of his cum before you have to squeeze your eyes shut and focus on your own orgasm, milliseconds away from breaking down the dam inside of you. You pull off of Jack’s cock and pant above him, continuing to stroke him through his climax. 

Your eyes are a little teary from the ecstasy coursing through your veins, fueled completely by Jack’s rapid movements and equally frequent muffled pleas. He can’t stop begging you to release all over his face, even with his tongue inside of you. You can’t focus on what he’s saying, but his voice is wrecked and bordering on distressed. That’s how bad he needs you to come, how badly he needs to make you come.

His jaw has got to be aching by this point, having eaten you out for so long, but you’re so close.

You sit up a bit, just enough that you can place your hands on his muscular thighs and grind back against his face. Your hips are quick, messy, and inconsistent. “Jack,” you cry out, your breath leaving you like a hard fall to the ground knocking all the air from your lungs.

“Yeah, yeah,” he encourages, his tongue flicking over your walls.

You come harder than you ever have like this– maybe harder than you ever have in general. Jack holds you against him and laps at your release, despite the pleasure causing your hips to jerk and try to escape. You lose track of yourself, feeling completely gone. There’s a chance you’ll have to wash the couch cushions later, with the way you’re spreading slick over Jack’s face. It feels endless, your orgasm, and you think Jack may have actually made up for a week of nothing in just one night. 

He licks over you until there’s nothing left for him to taste. His hair has gone wild, eyes bright but groggy and hazy at the same time. You’re sure you look the same, unwilling to find yourself in the mirror across the room when you roll off of Jack and find a shaky footing on the floor. Your shirt is damp with sweat, as is Jack’s. He lifts the neckline to wipe the lower half of his face, dazed. 

“Fuck,” he sighs, placing a hand over his heart. His eyes look up at you, a slight smile lifting the edges of his lips. “That might be the closest I’ve ever gotten to dying from your pussy, baby.”

You laugh at that, running your fingers through your hair. “I think we both need a shower,” you say with an easy smile. 

Jack yawns. “Then bed?” He asks. 

“If you don’t fall asleep on me right here,” you reply, nodding at his body as it lounges on the couch. You thought you were bad with going boneless– Jack seems to have sank into the cushions. The sight is hilarious– your boyfriend, completely love drunk and smiling up at you like you’re an angel, with his shirt still on but no pants and no underwear. His dick has softened against his hip, the cum you didn’t swallow drying against his skin. “With your dick out and all. Any burglar would run the other direction.”

“You don’t think he’d be impressed?” Jack sits up just enough to look at his length. 

“Maybe not in this state.”

“I’ll just have to explain to him that my girl fucked me so good that I couldn’t move anymore,” Jack ponders with a shrug. He laughs to himself, eyes hooded but blinking slowly at you.

“Well, you did come first,” you agree. You reach out and take his hands, dragging him up to a sitting position, then up to his feet. 

Jack stumbles into you, petting over your rat’s-nest of a head of hair and pressing a series of kisses all over your face.

“Gross, gonna have to do extra skincare tonight,” you pout, pushing him away. 

Jack continues making kissy noises as you pull him towards your shared bedroom, depositing him in front of the shower so that he can start the water while you grab new clothes for the both of you and go to the bathroom. 

He feels you up in the shower until you’re both laughing and covered in suds, unable to keep your lips from the other person’s for longer than a couple of minutes. He makes his hair into a shampooed mohawk just to make you giggle again. His displeasure from earlier in the night is completely gone, and you couldn’t be more glad. 

notes: this is one of my favorite fics i've ever written, so i hope y'all enjoyed!!

[onlyangel4]

pls pls pls 💗💗

write a smau with a very unhinged down bad carlos sainz girlfriend. who sexualises everything about carlos but she's got a serious job like a vogue editor or smth, so she writes about him and people can actually SEE how down bad for him. "are u objectifying me mi amor" " i always objectify u boyfriend" like I need unhinged carlos x girlfriend who need to jump each others bones everyday plsss 🌶️🤪😩🤲🏻🤲🏻

unhinged. cs55. smau.

carlos sainz x girlfriend!reader

in which carlos' girlfriend can not keep her horny thoughts to herself, even in a professional environment

faceclaim: simone ashley

f1wags

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 76,192 others

f1wags: vogue editor and carlos sainz' girlfriend y/n y/ln has arrived to the australian grand prix. "after a week off looking after carlos i managed to convince my boss to let me have this weekend off so i could support him post surgery. but i will be writing about this", y/n spoke in an interview

view all 3,291 comments

user1: omg y/n covering the grand prix this bitch is gonna be so horny

user2: she looks so fucking good

user3: i bet carlos' jaw dropped when he saw her this morning

y/ninsta posted a story tagging lizakoshy and terrycrews

written: carlos was busy resting for today last night. so i had a wild night quoting white chicks with two of my favourite people.

carlossainz posted a story

written: my good luck charm is here

y/ninsta posted a story

written: he sure is getting head tonight

carlossainz posted a story

written: i have never been happier

vogue

liked by y/ninsta, carlossainz, scuderiaferrari and 2,391,119 others

vogue: we may live to regret this but this months issue includes a very special segment written by our very own editor y/n y/ln. the article covers what it is like to be a wag in a world full of online criticism, how to deal with being long distance from her boyfriend at times and most importantly that very special win in australia.

view all 91,822 comments

y/ninsta: be warned this article is not for persons under the age of eighteen

carlossainz: next time can i write a horny article about mi amor

scuderiaferrari: y'all are brave our pr team will not let her say a word in interviews

user4: i can't fucking wait to read this

y/ninsta posted a story

written: me and daisy just wanted to let you know that my vogue article is out now!

carlossainz

liked by y/ninsta, charlesleclerc, scuderiaferrari and 1,321,809 others

tagged: y/ninsta

carlossainz: since the love of my life decided to write an article all about how hot i am i wanted to remind you that she is 100x hotter. love you carino

view all 51,218 comments

y/ninsta: this post just got you some brownie points

carlossainz: just wanted to show the world my pretty girl

user5: they are so in love it makes me sick

user6: the hottest couple on the grid

user7: both of them using their massive platforms to be horny for each other is such a slay

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

TAGLIST SIGN UP SHEET

taglist: @formulaal @formulaonebuff @danielshoe @noooway555 @dilflover44

@peterholland04

@sunshinedaisy21

@nikfigueiredo

@fall-bambi

@mel164

@lando-505

@charllleclerc

@paigem00

@heavy-vettel

@pseudoyo

@simple-soul-searcher

@lyannesworld

@wordesthatics

@toldyouitwasamelodrama

@sltwins

@aquamariene-me

@justarandomfamdomblog

@janeh22

@kol67-t

@gr3yhues

@luckyladycreator2

@nichmeddar

@multi-fandom5

@whatthefl1p

@stradlingmrstradlin

@notpeachybby

@kikiki04

@marknolee

@asparklysoul

@sleutherclaw

@stinging--nettle

@holybatflapexpert

@gothicwidowsworld

@pear-1206

@scorpiodiosa

@charlesgirl16

@marshmummy

@jess-wither

@callsignwidow

@jenxjar

@rexit-mo

@kaorisakamotofan

@daemyratwst

@hiireadstuff

@jetless

@agustdpeach

@01rrdbull

@blushmimi

@kodzuvk

@mochimommy2002

[frosensims]

First of all, i want to say i’m sorry if the english is bad, it’s not my native language but i’ll try my best.

This is so embarrassing for me. I don’t even have much followers here but i literally don’t know what to do. I’m desperate and I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t really really desperate.

I’m struggling so hard financially right now. I want to explain my whole situation but it’s hard when I don’t really know how to explain in english.

To keep it short - I don’t have any money at all right now after paying my bills. And now my dog is sick which I found out yesterday. She needs to have a back surgery, and this will costs me a lot of money, because the insurance does not cover the entire cost.

If i cant afford the surgery, the vet suggests euthanasia. I’m so sad and heartbroken because she is my everything.

I need about 6000 KR (Swedish) which is 532 USD I think?

I hate to do this. I don’t have a job because I was recently studying but right now i’m looking for jobs like crazy so I can pay my bills AND save my little girl.

If someone can donate I’m forever thankful!! Even if it’s just the minimum amount. Im thankful for anything!!

And if you can’t, please reblog this. I appreciate a reblog just as much!

And IF I get the donations I need for a surgery I’ll immediately update this post and let you know!!

Again, i’m sorry for my bad english.

DONATE HERE (thank you!!!!)

——————

I want to give back to all the wonderful souls out there who donated and still are donating but I don’t know how. I will make builds/sim dumps/save files and everything possible to give back to you in the way that I can.

Thank u ❤️

[girlofthesunxoxo]

porn star dancing | james wilson

synopsis: y/n is a neuro-oncologist in wilson’s department and whenever she gets out of work, she works at a strip club. tonight is masquerade night which works in her favor when she sees her boss and his friend.

note: i have no medical knowledge or dancing knowledge so im flying blind here 😭 so if anything seems a little off, its because of that LMAO. also y/n is in her mid to late twenties while james is in his mid to late thirties.

y/n was just finishing up with a patient, making sure they were feeling fine after their surgery when she got a call from her friend, sheila. she excused herself from the room and went into a random hallway.

“oh hey, sheila ! whats up ?”

“hey, y/n ! im sorry to ask but can you take over my shift today ? my mom has come down with a really bad cold and i have to take care of her.” her apologetic tone evident in her voice.

“oooh um yeah im already finishing up here so i’ll be on my way over there in about thirty minutes !”

“oh my gosh, thank you thank you thank yoooou. i owe you big time !”

y/n lightly chuckled, “okay okay, ill call you later ! i need to talk to my boss really quickly.”

“okay bye !! also in case you forgot, tonight’s theme is masquerade.”

“yes yes, i remember the theme, i think i saw my costume there a few days ago. okay we’ll talk later, bye bye !”

she hung up before making her way towards her dr. wilson’s office. she knocked on the door and went inside after hearing a quiet, “come in.” she stood in front of his desk with her hands clasped in front of her, nervous about what she was about to ask.

“hello dr. l/n, what do you need ?” he asked with a polite smile on his face.

“hi dr. wilson, um i was wondering if i could leave a bit early today, i am already finished with our brain surgery patient and i think i have all my clinic hours done for this week !” she nervously rambled which james took notice to.

he quietly laughed and shook his head, “yes you can but if i may ask, what is the reason you need to leave early for ? you never leave early. are you feeling okay ?” his casual expression slightly changing to a more concerned look.

“oh no im feeling alright !” she knew she couldnt tell him the truth. how many people have gone to their very attractive boss and told them they couldnt work because they had to go to their second job which is a strip club. not a lot, she assumed.

“i just have to babysit m-my sister’s kids, shes not feeling the best !” her lie came out with little struggle.

“oh well i hope she is feeling better soon but yes you can go for the rest of the night.”

“okay thank you so much, dr. wilson !”

she quickly turned and walked out of the room with fast beating heart and blushed cheeks. there were times she hated how she had a slight crush on her boss. this was one of those times and it didnt help that his friend, dr. house was standing outside his door staring at her with a smirk. she tried to move past him but he put his cane in front of her stomach which stopped her movements.

“what do you need, dr. house ?” she tried to ask politely but she was in a little of a rush.

“yeah, why are you coming out of wilson’s office looking like you just finished riding him into oblivion ? oh im sure you would like that, right ?” his words made her blush as the thought of her on top of james has been a recurring dream of hers.

“u-um well im - im sorry, im in a r-rush to be-“ she was interrupted by the door opening and james’s annoyed voice filling her ears.

“house ! let her leave, please.” he rolled his eyes while shoving his cane away from y/n’s stomach. she smiled thankfully while rushing to the front doors to leave seeing as she had a few minutes before her shift started. as she was leaving, she heard dr. house’s fading words, “you know she has a-“ she didnt know what else he was going to say.

she drove to the club and quickly greeted all the other dancers while getting into her clothes which was black fishnets with very short red shorts that looked like underwear with little sparkly fringe that flowed every time she moved and a matching bra with the same fringe. (think of the girls from “but its better if you do” music video 😉).

she picked up some random black high heels that were covered in black glitter and she heard the crowd cheering as it was almost time for the dancers to come out .

she hurriedly did her makeup which was just more eyeliner and eyeshadow than she used for her day job.

sheila let her know on the drive that she was going to be in the spotlight which meant she could pick the song and be right in the center of the stage.

y/n was very anxious, she had only been in the center stage maybe two times despite being told by everyone that she was awesome but having that many eyes on her was very nervewrecking. that says a lot considering she literally works as a doctor and has to perform surgeries sometimes.

she picked the song “porn star dancing” considering she practiced at home days prior, just in case somebody needed her to take on their shift.

the microphone crackled before a loud voice came on, “lets give a biiiig round of applause for our dancers !” two girls gave y/n a “goodluck” before heading out to their poles which were on either side of the center pole.

“and let us let our main dancer for the night know how much we looove her, welcome to the stage, mrs. vibraaaant vixen !”

y/n quickly put on her red, glittering mask with tall feathers which only covered her eyes. she let out a big breath to calm her nerves and strutted out the curtain, the song she chose began playing in the background.

kelly wont kiss my friend kassandra

jessica wont play ball

y/n slowly strutted to the pole and grabbed it with one hand as she circled it making sure to sway her hips.

mandy wont share her friend, miranda

doesnt anybody live at all

amanda wont leave me empty handed

got her number from a bathroom stall

she squatted behind the pole before slowly getting up with her ass up first and slowly moving her body up. the cheers made her feel confident and her nervousness slowly went away.

brandy just got way too much baggage

and that shit just gets old (hey)

she rolled her hips in a circle while her hands wandered up her body then behind her neck to flip her hair to the side.

but i got a girl who can put on a show

the dollar decides how far you can go with her

she wraps those hands around that pole

her movements followed the lyrics as she wrapped her hands around the pole then crouched down while rolling her hips to every beat.

she licks those lips and off we go

she takes it off nice and slow cause thats porn star dancing (hey)

she slowly pick herself up with the pole and pushing her chest flush against it before she circled it and stopped right in front of it, giving the audience a full view of her ass. she turned around and started looking at the crowd while she circled her hips.

she dont play nice, she makes me beg

and she drops that dress around her legs

and im sitting right by the stage for this porn star dancing

as she looked over the crowd of men and the occasional woman, she spotted one familiar face and her heart almost stopped. it was her boss, dr. james wilson. at her strip club. with dr. house who was grinning as if he won the lottery. they were both cheering before dr. house muttered something in james’s ear before he turned wide eyed towards her on the pole.

she quickly circled the pole and stopped behind it keeping her head down slightly, her hands roaming her body and rolling her hips as she turned around, her ass on display as she crouched while rolling her hips. she felt mortified knowing her boss was more than likely watching her ass.

your body’s lighting up the room

now i want a naughty girl like you

theres nothing hotter than that

she turned around on her knees and flipped her hair to the side, her eyes catching james’s eyes. he mouthed “y/n ?!” she averted her eyes as she got up, ass first.

stacy’s gonna save herself for marriage but thats just not my style

shes got a pair thats nice to stare at

but i want girls gone wild (hey)

groping her boobs (😭) at that one lyric, she felt her body go hot, the thought finally registered that her boss/little crush was seeing her half naked body while she should be helping people. shame gnawed at her as she kept her head slightly down.

but i know a place where theres always a show

the dollar decides how far you can go with her

she wraps those hands around that pole

she picked herself up onto the pole and swung herself around it a few times. the cheers got even louder and people tossed some dollars on the stage.

she licks those lips and off we go

she takes it off nice and slow cause thats porn star dancing (hey)

she dont play nice, she makes me beg

she drops that dress around her legs

the pole and the swinging was making her muscles ache but she kept on going. her back flushed against the front of the pole, she picked herself up until her legs wrapped around the pole and her upper body was spinning around. she took her hands off the pole, waved and blew kisses at the crowd which caused them to cheer harder.

she could see james clapping with his mouth open and smiling while house was cheering louder than anybody there, she smiled at the sight.

and im sitting right by the stage for this porn star dancing (hey)

your body’s lighting up the room

i want a naughty girl like you

lets throw a party just for two

you know those normal girls wont do

as she slowly descended down the pole, she put her hands on the floor and unwrapped her legs from it so she can kick her legs away and landed upright like a half cartwheel.

the part of the song where no lyrics are on is her favorite because she can do some random dance on the pole and the crowd will go wild. she swings herself on the pole, holding it with her ankles before climbing and wrapping her inner leg/knee around the pole while her other leg is standing on the pole. still spinning, she straightens her leg so it is poking outwards.

then she bends both legs, one on the outside of the pole and one inside holding her and takes her hands off to let go of the pole so she can clasp them behind her while spinning so shes spinning sideways.

she can hear people cheering and whooping and some just plain yelling.

she wraps those hands around that pole

she licks those lips and off we go

and she takes it off nice and slow

cause thats porn star dancing (hey)

as the spinning slows down, she grabbed the pole and unwrapped her legs while positioning herself upright again. now that shes upright, she tries to gauge everyone’s reactions, some of the dancers not performing were clapping and yelling as were a lot of the men. some had their mouths slightly open and others were just cheering.

but only one had her interested, james had a full blush on his cheeks and he stood there in disbelief while house tapped his shoulder to telling him that shes looking at him. he waves and she let one hand let go to wave back.

she dont play nice, she makes me beg

she drops that dress around her legs

and im sitting right by the stage

for this porn star dancing (hey)

she hopped down from the pole and rolled her hips like she did when the song first started. she was completely out of breath while her body was covered in a light sheen of sweat. her muscles ached when she walked back towards the curtain but not before turning around and looking james straight in the eye and blew a kiss while the crowd started cheering and whooping.

she passed the curtains and let out a deep breath. her whole body ached and she knew she would be a little sore the next day but it was worth it. seeing everybody’s expressions, especially james’s expression made the whole thing worth it.

all the girls came up to her and hugged her while telling her how much they loved the dance and how beautiful she did. all the compliments made her blush as she changed into her regular clothes which just consisted of jeans and a black long sleeve.

y/n made her way out the dressing room and managed to avoid seeing her boss and house. she still felt shame and embarrassment that her own boss, the person who signs her paychecks, saw her half naked body sensually dancing on a pole. she’s had nightmares about that. she was already half way out the front door before a cane stopped her from walking.

she only closed her eyes and sighed, “what do you need, dr. house ?”

“woah how did you know that was me ?!” his childlike glee was a little annoying to y/n, any other day she wouldve indulged in his jokes but her entire body ached and she just wanted to sleep.

“hm i dont know, maybe the fact that i saw you earli-“

he interrupted, “while you were sexy dancing and getting all the guys turned on, i swear i saw all of them with tents in their pants !” he rolled his eyes and lets out a little grunt, “ugh men.”

she sarcastically smiled, “ugh men indeed, including the one that is wasting my precious time right now.”

“what, are you taking one of those greasy little guys home ? you know im sure you’ll have a lot more fun with me.” his smirk is enough to tell her that he’s joking and he reached out to touch her arm before the front door creaked open and another hand gripped his wrist.

“house.” wilson’s slightly irritated voice cuts in.

house let out a big gasp before whipping his head around to face her, “daddy caught us ! i wonder how he’s going to punish us.”

y/n didnt let her eyes travel to james, still embarrassed by what he saw. she chuckled at house’s words before she stood on her tippy toes and leaned close to house’s face, “hm i dont think i’ll have fun with you, i actually like it when a man is below me and you seem like the type that cant handle that.” she leaned back down and pushed his cane away from her, walking back to her car while hearing james’s laugh.

she waved her hand and said, “goodnight guys, hope to see you here another day !” she heard house say “i hope so too !” she shook her head and laughed.

“wait, y/n !” james shouted while jogging towards her.

oh god, this is where she gets fired or he suspends her. she braced herself for bad news and turned to face her boss.

james had a wide smile, “y/n, you were incredible !”

she blushed and looked at her feet which were starting to hurt from standing and dancing all day.

“thank you, dr. wilson.”

“james, call me james.”

“okay well thank you, james !” she said softly.

he still had a soft smile on his face, “why didnt you tell me you worked here ?”

“i thought it wasnt appropriate, imagine telling your boss that you work at a strip club. how embarrassing ! i mean, im embarrassed right now !” she laughed.

he laughed with her, “i guess that’s true but i wouldve preferred that over finding out from house and losing twenty bucks.”

“you lost twenty bucks to house ?”

“he said that you worked at a club and i didnt believe him so we bet on it. imagine my surprise when i see my prettiest employee dancing on stage.” he rolled his eyes as he glanced at y/n, noticing her biting her lip to contain a smile and her blushed cheeks.

“well i guess i owe you twenty bucks, huh ?” she teased. his eyes creased as he chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face.

“well i wouldnt object.”

“okay how about i get us both muffins in the morning ! my treat, obviously.” she mused while tapping a finger to her chin in thought.

he grinned at her as they stopped in front of her car, “i would love that.”

“i would love to continue this conversation but i need to sleep because my body is killing me.” she tiredly groaned. he lightly smiled and waited for her to get into her car before saying goodnight and walking back to the strip club.

“also !” she yelled from her car window.

he turned around.

“tell house that i meant what i said. him and his leg wont be able to handle me on top.” she winked and rolled up her window, finally making her way home.

his eyes twinkled as he laughed, “i will keep that in mind.” he muttered with a flushed face.

[theconfusedacorn]

Moooooorreee Hoard AU, this time: MEDIC! :D

RED... there isn't much to say, he's literally just Medic. He WAS, however, far more sadistic BEFORE meeting Heavy and the rest of the mercs. They helped him learn:

✨️ H u m a n e m p a t h y ✨️

Unfortunately, BLU Medic was made JUST before that, which is the PERFECT SEGWAY TO:

*Smacks him like a car roof*

You can fit SO MUCH TRAUMA in this bad boy!

Yeah, he was Medic's plaything for a solid year, whilst Medic and Dell (the BLU one) were perfecting the respawn technology. (Somehow, performing horrible surgeries on HIMSELF wasn't a problem for good ol' Ludwig).

This poor man has died, SO MANY TIMES, and spent WAY TO MUCH TIME in respawn (Insert Emesis BLU quote here. "It's eternity in there", yada yada, you get the idea. He needs sleep AND THERAPY!)

Anyways, THEM!

That's Sniper, Engi, and Medic done. Who should I do next???

Edit: I have swapped out the images since posting; just a minor change to Medic's name. Thanks @bookerbluedragon for bringing it up in the replies; I was not aware Humboldt wasn't really a first name (I swear, I'm usually pretty good about my research, I just missed the name I guess. :/) Anyhow, it's changed now. Thanks again, sorry for that.

[6okuto]

Can I ask for headcanons about the LIs from Touchstarved and how they would deal with the MC who is suffering from menstrual cramps? Unfortunately, I'm in those days, I always get very sensitive and I can't eat anything (sometimes I even feel nauseous and vomit).

Sorry about my English

TS CAST WITH AN MC ON THEIR PERIOD

gn!mc | aaaghh i hope u feel better soon/now anon that sounds awful :(

ALL

i want you to know (partially because i don't want the notes to be repetitive) none of them would mind cleaning up any vomit, stains, etc. when they happen. literally none of them!! they've all seen worse, had worse happen, and care about mc. of course they'll take the time to clean up, change sheets, rub their back (and hold back any hair) as they hover over the toilet etc.

the others would ask kuras to check on mc if the symptoms are super serious and it could be some underlying condition. vere. ....mc is important enough to get kuras bro trust me. one of the others might recommend it if not him bdjhgbd

KURAS

! Finally a doctor that won't invalidate your experiences or just send you home! kuras would take their symptoms seriously and prescribe medication, etc as needed (i don't know how advanced they are surgery wise but if it was safe and possible...!)

he offers to let them stay at the clinic with him, but they both know he'd prefer they did assuming it isn't too difficult to set up

...methodical? when it comes to checking on mc, especially when they're suffering the worst of their symptoms! even when it seems like he's super busy and doesn't have time, he makes time.

he's good staying calm at signs of pain, strong emotions, etc., but it's a little different because mc isn't Just a patient. sometimes he can't help his worried expression when mc is in obvious pain, and he wouldn't buy tea for just anybody now would he! or let them pull him to the bedside and chat to distract them, comply when asked to hold his hand over their stomach, etc.

food wise.... he learns mc's favourites quickly, at least what they can stomach. best soup flavours, best drinks, soft foods... plus the nearest places he can run to. mc can be like Kuras It's literally 10 minutes away but he's like.. What kind of doctor would i be if i let my patient leave in this state. Can you lie back down now?

when they're home, kuras is freer to spend time with mc if they'd like! if mc says he has to cuddle because they're in pain, he can slip into bed with them. (he might be a little awkward the first couple of times because, well, cuddling isn't a usual treatment he offers to patients is it? and i don't think he's cuddled a lot in general, but he gets the hang of it!)

LEANDER

the wet wick isn't really where you want to be when you're dealing with cramps, nausea and anything else. so when mc mentions that they'll probably be dealing with their period soon and they tell him how bad it can get, leander makes sure to find a more comfortable place, even if it's just for a while. (or you know. maybe they live together somewhere else already and that'd just be very lovely and convenient !)

if there's any Magic Treatments he can do himself to soothe their pain, do some magic equivalent of a heating pad, etc. leander will absolutely use them! though he might make a joke like, Is the spell as good as me though? and when mc is like you know what? yeah. he's like :( / oh i see how it is...after everything we've been through /joking

i don't care if he doesn't like naps he will nap with mc if they ask. He Will. even if he doesn't stay the whole time, he'll at least rub their back and wait for them to fall asleep.

at their beck and call while he's around!! they need help getting to the washroom? he's there to help. they want a little snack? he's bought some! they ask him to run a hot bath? do they want him to help them wash because he will! their heated towels aren't hot enough anymore? no need to get up, leander's already on his way. they want to cuddle with him? What kind of guy would he be to say no?

if mc is more sensitive and their emotions are kind of all over the place, it probably surprises leander the most LOL. like everyone's caught off guard and worried walking in on them crying, but leander is most visibly like wait shit what happened? what's wrong? are you okay? did someone do something? because he's done everything he can to make sure they're comfortable like woah!!😭

VERE

do you guys know if vere's job is a 9 to 5 deal... well. while he's on the job, trust me when i tell you he's thinking of mc more often than he'd like to admit. he wishes he could check on them himself, but if he can't, he'll ask one of the others to. you'd think ais considering ais is the only one vere likes, but depending on what you need, he'll have to suck it up and ask. leander maybe?

yeah okay he'll rest his tail over your stomach and let you play with it now stop giving him puppy eyes and asking /lighthearted /silly. he'd appreciate it if you didn't squeeze very tight, like please hold onto something else besides his tail. but staying near you and getting that something isn't at all an issue for him!

if they want to cuddle Vere and not just his tail, he pretends he's Relenting and Allowing it, but he does enjoy it! (you can tell by the smile on his face and the way he shifts the pillows and blanket to make sure they're both comfortable for the foreseeable future.) he lets them rest their head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat, and he wraps his tail around just for extra warmth.

tones down his provocations and attitude when he realizes mc's state, and his more serious side comes out. if mc is confused/surprised by this, he rolls his eyes before carrying on to tell them to stay hydrated, and which places have the best teas/warm drinks. (he knows the owner of the one on the corner two streets down, and he's sure they'll lower the price for you.)

stubborn mc who ignores vere telling them they should stay in bed, or trying to help them there. vere who watches patiently as they're obviously in pain, until they give in and look at him. vere who, just once because he's vere, is like oh? what happened to not needing help? before mc tells him to shut up and he wraps an arm around them

AIS

makes sure they're drinking enough water and eating what they can despite his teasing. says shit like "okay, if you drink enough water i'll buy you some sweets" "think of how disappointed princess will be to find out you're pushing yourself" etc etc. of course when he's especially worried about them not eating, he'll take a more serious tone, but it's what he can do to keep their mood up.

even though exercising while you're cramping and bleeding often sounds. Miserable and Impossible. exercising regularly can help when the time comes! ais offers to join them on a couple walks a week :-) if mc thinks that they can do some light exercise, he'll be there to help them and suggest some easier workouts they can do. i don't think he's a huge yoga person, but he's got some stretches for sure!

guy who goes to buy some things and comes with more than mc expected or listed. he shrugs and says it's better to be prepared, and he was there so why not? he even asked some of the clerks for their opinion and was told some nice advice from a stranger who overheard him and who's he to say no.

might be below leander in terms of cuddling enthusiasm, but is still more comfortable than the others! he'll wrap himself around them, keeping a light pressure on their stomach and rubbing circles against their skin. he never complains about quietly staying and watching them, or talking if mc asks him to distract them. (they wonder how many of his stories take place in a bar. Have you never had a fun experience perhaps at a festival or park? he feigns offense before telling a 'nicer' story anyway.)

more modern au than TS but. i don't know if you guys saw that video where they asked their boyfriend to get pads with wings and he bought. pads and chicken wings. i'm crying soo bad like ais would do that as a joke. he'd take the wings out first then show mc he did, in fact, get pads with wings after they stare at him like ???? BEJHSBGJHB

MHIN

the first time it happens? they spot mc obviously in pain and watch them for a while because, well, that isn't their problem is it? they're just watching because they're curious, not because they really care. inevitably, they go up to check on them and bring them somewhere more comfortable because it was "hard to watch"

 it's like... mhin knows what to do, but there's hesitancy because they feel awkward About Offering. do they just hand mc the warm towel? do they ask them to roll over? if they ask what mc wants to drink, will they have the ingredients for it? they leave a bowl by the bed and say "in case you vomit" then hesitate before telling them where the washroom is, but the bowl is just in case. the others are more comfortable asking and taking initiative when it comes to mc y'know. but once they've established a relationship, mhin is quick to know what they like and need without mc even asking! ^^

"mhin" "hm?" "i think i'm dying" "you aren't dying" "i'm going to die" "don't die on my favourite blanket" "what the hell" (/lighthearted) (they do in fact care very much and feel bad. if mc wasn't busy suffering maybe they'd have noticed mhin preparing tea and a hot pack across the room.)

doesn't even try to entertain the thought of mc getting up and doing something strenuous. mhin shoots them a look like ? are you kidding. stay here and i'll take care of it. they won't force mc to stay in bed and assumes they know their limits, but that also means if mc pushes themself too much, mhin is all the more 'annoyed' (concerned!! they're concerned more than Angry, but can you please listen to them for once!)

omfg mhin bringing mc to a place where stray cats like to visit just to cheer them up a little. mhin handing them some food to hold out in their hand. there's a specific cat who really likes to purr and cuddle that they get the attention of just for mc. yeah.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Don’t suppose you have any headcanons for Cosmo’s parents are their dynamics? I saw your post earlier and felt kinda bad for Mama Cosma (until she got toxic with Cosmo lol)

Also, I don’t mean to make u uncomfortable but I keep thinking about Cosmo blowing up half of Fairy World when he was born so I imagine how rough the pregnancy was.

ALRIGHT SO!

let's see ...

To be honest, in my head Cosmo parents were like those super sappy couples, kind of like Cosmo and Wanda are right now. Or like parents in a sitcom during the 90s.

Then schnozmo came in, and everything was still super great. No toxicity nor abuse, nothing.

Just a family of three in fairy world ( + personally I don't think any of them had any thoughts on godparenting.)

Then Cosmo came in.

I haven't really thought of it but it's kind of like this

happy family + new member of the family + somehow inherited powerful powers from jorgen side of the family and this is where shit goes downhill.

it's a whole series of events where they wanted to take Cosmo away because he was too dangerous (and strong), then the abolition of new babies, then assuming papa cosmo died (in my head it was because of a failing organ after getting turned into a fly, the same cosmo had a surgery on in the og series or something like that) then schnozmo went off and it was just mama Cosma all alone with this power baby she ended up attached on in a very unhealthy way.

it's like if the entire family slowly, very slowly crumbled and she held onto the first and only thing that was left of it, becoming clingy, toxic and neglective of cosmo actual needs.

also I do imagine her being sort of a boy mom in general.

for the pregnancy part I assume it was easier than Cosmo's only because they at least knew what to do.

Cosmo struggled so much because it's been thousand of years since the last baby, and he didn't even know what to do when he went to labor.

also by the baby flashback he seems pretty big for a normal sized fairy (taking poof as a comparison.) so..that was something !

I guess that was because of the jorgan genes.

(it can always be that poof was just odd shaped, though.)

But back to the dynamics (and headcanons)

- papa cosmo was generally a very calm guy, he's the true malewife staying at home taking care of the kids while mama Cosma goes to work.

- always cold for some reason (thank God mama Cosma is a living furnace, much like Cosmo.)

- he always had health problems, which lead inevitably to his death. (Organ failure.)

- there's a tiny bit of size difference between him and mama Cosma, she's taller and bulkier while he is more shorter and skinny.

(if you have seen the design post, you'll get a better idea of the size difference.)

- he gets extremely flustered and very easily too with mama cosma

- he died kind of..WHILE he was a fly because he was kind of already dealing with his organ failing.

To put it short, the organ fairies have that makes them shapeshift (which I don't remember the name for the life of me) was already failing, and when he got turned into a fly he..got stuck like that. leading to him to die because of it.

This means Cosmo failing organ that he replaced with surgery is inherited!

- it's clear Cosmo took the majority of his traits from his father, and this meant mama Cosma was always more attached to Cosmo than to schnozmo (who was also pretty similar but because of his big nose it didn't do the same effect) because she just..saw her husband in Cosmo.

- papa cosmo liked to knit and cook :]

- he probably had those nerd jobs like scientist or something. I remember seeing somewhere someone saying that papa Cosmo's job had to do with researching about humans which would help for the future god parents (assuming they need to learn how a human works, talks and behaves for future disguises and to make sure your god child doesn't die immediately) and its really cool so I took it. So whoever had this idea, credit to them.

- mama Cosma job was probably pretty simple, like a maid.

- in my head, despite mama Cosma putting all of her attention on Cosmo, she was still super clingy to schnozmo too just not as much and this lead to schnozmo desperately looking for a way to get away (since we saw in the show cosmo was like trapped in his own house at that point, assuming schnozmo had the same treatment.) and that's how he ended up in the crime world.

^^^ always assuming that she was starting to get too clingy with her own kids because of papa cosmo dying

- super straight thin hair papa cosmo x super thick curly hair mama Cosma (which lead to wavy hair Cosmo and schnozmo)

- this is a general headcanon for fairies, but I enjoy a lot how in the tinkle bell movie (1953) whenever she gets mad she turns all red, so now all fairies in FOP do.

- also, another headcanon but it's more Cosmo centered.

As much as I enjoy Cosmo, the og show brutally butchered him and since I can't go against canon that he's now an idiot and has a high pitched voice, I present to you these two headcanons.

(more theories than anything but I embrace them as my headcanons.)

vvv for context they're talking about pilot Cosmo and specifically the line "I gotta get this thing (wand) fixed."

And! The scene where Timmy eats part of Cosmo brain, which is also a reason why later on he gets slow and more incompetent.

+ after Timmy they retired and got their very earned vacation, which helped Cosmo a TON as we can see how in a new wish he's back being an actual decent person and competent again, but still has some side effects like the high pitched voice and being rather slow to get things.

Credit to the original commenter of course.

And yes, this doesn't change that he sucked in school. Cosmo was never academic smart, he was always street smart, I can see him sucking ass in school still.

Also with this hc we can have the trope that Cosmo went from awkward shy guy > smug happily married man because I love that trope.

I think that's it, from what I remember at least.

[cowsabungus]

hello! i was wondering about drawing and writing elbow crutches specifically, as i’m not very informed on the topic of chronic illness or mobility aids (i’m developing a character with POTS and thought it would be good to ask someone who has experience with mobility aids)

i think you’re very cool btw, keep doing what you’re doing here!

Yessss so for POTS it may be very personal to the person, they may prefer elbow crutches or platform crutches, but overall the type of crutch doesn't it doesn't make a lot of difference in management,

For how it helps, POTS can cause dizziness, and unsteadiness which can be helped with having the support of crutches, I also found when I could walk I'd get blood pooling (bad circulation therefore my legs going low-key purple) which was painful and having something to take the weight off helped a lot. Also, because of the issue with people not considering invisible disability (not necessarily on purpose, you don't look at every single person and think "maybe they're disabled" ya know), having crutches can make it easier to get help, and access to things like priority seats on the bus etc

Random stuff you could include in writing about crutches

- ur hands start to hurt a lot when u start using them often, especially if ur putting a lot of weight on ur hands. It makes sense cos the skin on ur hands isn't made to support ur whole body weight, I found I'd get blisters and aching wrists from it

- I have known people to have a few colours (2 or 3 pairs) of crutches to match their outfit. Do with this what you will

- holding tote bags when using two crutches is at best annoying, at worst impossible. Usually u gotta use cross body bags or backpacks with both straps over ur shoulders

- different weather can be a nightmare for crutches. Dry and sunny? Perfect, delightful, no notes. Wet and cold? Ableist, slippery, fall-over-constantly. Wet leaves is the worst, along with ice

- I know people who have spray painted their crutches over and over bc they can't decide on a colour

- Those fucking things do not care where you put them. If you lean a crutch against something, it WILL fall over. This could be a good way to introduce another character, I.e. the main character drops their crutch while grabbing something with one hand or while sitting, and another character goes to help and grab it

- people tend to see crutches as an aid for a temporary injury, so you get a lot of "what happened to your leg?" "Did you break your ankle?" "I was on crutches when I had my ingrown toe nail surgery"

- same stuff as usual with all mobility aids, we don't like it when people touch without permission, some people feel the need to man handle u places, or lead u, some people are patronising, and it could be fun to see how ur character would react to those scenarios (I wouldn't say they happen frequently enough to have an experience like this every chapter, but it happens enough that it's not a fluke if that makes sense)

I hope this helps!!!!! :)

[maxislvt]

will u please do a dark! or not wanda x spider reader who gets injured often and how she cares for the reader

warnings: injury, medical stuff

Being in love as an Avenger was difficult, even if your significant other wasn't one themselves. Missions were long and dangerous, some would even require no contact for weeks at a time. Training was tough and the paperwork could become overwhelming. That wasn't to say that it couldn't be done.

You and Wanda were proof that even the toughest conditions couldn't stop love from blooming. When the two of you first met, your identity was a secret. It was a complete accident that Wanda even found out who you were. She was scared for your safety at first. There wasn't a single fight you'd been in that hadn't been recorded and uploaded to the internet a thousand times. You were the Spider-Punk after all. Who wouldn't be dazzled by your super-sonic guitar and acrobatic abilities? For others, watching you fight was a spectacle.

For Wanda it was just plain scary. To her everything was a bruise, a cut, or a concussion and there was almost no comfort in your accelerated healing. Both of you had learned the difference between accelerated and right the hard way. The suggestion to have Bruce look into your crooked finger had been lighthearted, but the examination revealed just how harmful your methods of fighting were. One of your bones was so messed up you needed surgery. The cost financially was nothing to Wanda, it was the emotional part she couldn't handle.

She's become a bit overprotective of you ever sense. It was cute at first, but you couldn't stand coming home at 3am and seeing her wide awake just because she wanted to patch you and replace any bandages. Wanda had a job that was just as dangerous. You couldn't let her lose sleep because you were stupid and got whacked around a bit. That wasn't fair.

So tonight, you did it yourself.

You took a little detour to a pharmacy and bought some bandaids and tried your very best to tend to your wounds. You had definitely taken some hits that a bandaid couldn't fix, so your solution had been to just put on multiple in one area. The adhesive was stuck uncomfortably to your skin, but something was better than nothing. Just nothing wasn't good enough for Wanda.

"Oh, you're home early." Wanda gave you a gentle smile as she placed her book on the nightstand. "Come on, let me patch up. Dinner's already in the oven so we can eat after you take a bath." She reached for your shirt only for you to push her hand away.

You kissed her cheek. "I'm fine, we can just eat dinner." You tugged Wanda towards the dining room but she didn't budge. A frown appeared in your face. "I promise you I'm okay. I didn't even fight anyone today." That was a lie, but Wanda didn't like reading your mind so she wouldn't know. Well, everyone told you that you were a bad lair, but you never lied around Wanda so who would she know?

Wanda raised her eyebrows. You always cracked under the pressure of her states even if you didn't do anything wrong. Even if that didn't work, you always left behind footprints. "Alright. Just give me a hug, I really missed you." Just like that, you'd fallen for her trap. Technically it wasn't a trap because she did miss and wanted a hug. The offer just had some ulterior motives. She wrapped her arms around you tightly and kissed your forehead. "You mean the world to me, you know that?" She softened you up with honeyed words until her hands reached your back pocket. Wanda's hand pulled out a ball of paper. "Is this…are these bandaid wrappers," She asked incredulously. "Don't tell me you tried to patch yourself up with bandaids that had your little logo on it."

You sighed in defeat as you sat on the bed. Embarrassment burned bright red on your face. "Just…just get the medkit." Wanda left you to stew in your own pool of embarrassment while she got the needed tools to patch you up. You peeled off as many of the little bandages before giving up and waiting for Wanda to take them off. "Don't laugh at me…I was trying to not worry you," You grumbled.

Wanda giggled and kissed your shoulder. "Baby, I worry about you because I care about you. Spider-Punk or not." She sat behind you on the bed and started to remove the decorated bandages. Everytime she pulled one off, she kissed your cheek. Then it was followed up with a little 'I love you' or 'You're adorable'. By the time she'd wiped off the adhesive and replaced it with proper bandages, you were nothing but putty in her hands. "Is my little spider ready to shower and eat dinner?"

"That was a really bad way to convince me not to do that again, but yes."

[aropride]

house season 8 episode 12 liveblogging (LONG post sorry)

sorry again. see why it took me 2 hours to watch 45 minutes

bandage placement made me think top surgery. god iwish i lived in the beautiful world i conjured in my mind for .3 seconds where chase took time off work to get top surgery

has anyone told him he probably shouldnt be having sex while also having an unhealed stab wound

thank god at least HE takes pills with water. unlike SOME PEOPLE (house 😒)

(respectful voice) big fan of.back muscles. Noreason for sharing just was moved by the spirit i suppose

every time house calls himself the c word i have an instinctual Hey man you cant say that reaction and then i go Wait he can reclaim nvm... Hes using it as a slur though

wait is this chase's apartmwnt I need to know fto write the most accurate fanfiction possible

guy who just got stabbed but is "fine" Okay man

NUNS......

can he stop standing and walking around and shifting his weight on his injured legs im nervous.

he was a seminarian......... i already knew this. but like. wow he has GOT to have some insane brain problems as a result. (thinks about "i had faith" "yeah that has baggage stamped all over it" exchange btwn him and adams)

^is this supposed to be hot or am i just insane

^BABYGIRL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS I LOVE YOU

i love you babygirl ur cool and casual touching ur hair despite barely having hair anymore is definitely showing how chill and calm u feel abt this conversation

"priests and nuns were the closest i had to family" :(

^what do u mean by this :(

"even though you don't find my case interesting, you find my interest in it interesting" AGAIN . CHASE KNOWS HIM SO WELL. and the pause after and looking at him like he's making sure he's reading him right and then house does exactly what chase expected. im normal about them

^oh you should ask chase about this topic im sure hes familiar #true /notprojecting

"your overreaction to your stabbing is to blame me even as you are drawn to me" ? i cant be the only one seeing homosexuality here

"how can you not be traumatized?" "can't change what happened. can only make better choices from here" me when im so not traumatized that i blame myself for what happened to prove im not traumatized.

"no one joins the clergy without having that epiphany.that god's love is speaking to you directly" <- needed to save this quote. not sure why. It will be helpful to me in my travels i think

this is sofucking good im. slurping this episode like apple juice Fuck

EVEN THE PATIENTS KNOW HES A WHORE!!!!!!😭

the first thing he has to know about being hypersexual/using sexuality as an unhealthy coping mechanism is that u cant drag other people into ur problems Especially if u have to interact with them regularly. (doubly so bc if they realize ur like, using them to worsen ur own brainproblems they will feel bad !!!) Fucking all the nurses at the damn hospital is like the worst thing he could do Now its followed him into his career Smdh. Well to be fair he probably didnt have an alter to tell him that. shout out mars i miss u every day

"i'm just looking for something more" "so am i" auoughhghhhhh

he spends all this time nowadays being like house but sometimes u can still see the earnest kicked-puppy look in his eyes

"you think im hitting on a nun? angry at god or i just need a challenge?" "Or you're terrified of intimacy, which is why you're a serial slut" MY JAW IS ON THE FLOORRRRR I THOGUHT I WAS THE ONLYT ONE SEEINF THIS SHIT!!! I PRACTICALLY WROTE THIS WORD FOR WORD THE OTHER DAY IN MY NTOES APP FOR THAT FUCKING. DIALOGUE I CANT STOP WRITING FOR SOME REAOSN.

got too excited about teevee show now i can feel all the blood in my body

"youre right i was running away" girl so is he :(

how it feels to lose urself in meaningless sex rainbow dolphin image :(and by rainbowdolphin image i mean not that

^😭 HELP

"there was a stabbing" ME WHEN I DISSOCIATE??? brother.see a therapist

"i need to get away from house and everything that reminds me of him" (house md 8.12) // "avoidance of trauma-related stimuli after the trauma" (ptsd criterion c)

"you're gonna get away from him by turning into him?" OH.... FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE IS SEEING THIS

i truly do not believe his little story abt how he got kicked out of seminary school im not buying thgat. me when i lie

he's like a puppy to me. hes so kicked puppy core. and his gay little outfit is so cute and i love him i want to pick him up and throw him against the wall. like a bouncy ball not in a sexual way. In a sexual way also tghough

DO NOT CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO THE PATIENT??? WHO YOU JUST MET AND SLEPT WITH ONCE??????

^in terms of how house is this is basically a deeply vulnerable discussion of his regrets and traumas

the little tiny barely perceptable nods i lvoe you i love you

[braidlottie]

NAT SCATORCCIO NSFW ALPHABET

boyfie :3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

you would think nat isn’t the type to take part in aftercare, but a softer side of him comes out (mostly after a rough session), praising you and holding you tight.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

nat’s favorite body part of his is his chest, especially after getting chest surgery.

his favorite body part of his partner’s is their mouth/lips (he just wants you to suck on his fingers)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he wants you to cum on him every. single. time. on his fingers, on his cock, on his face. he loves it too much.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes bottoming more than topping. there, I SAID IT.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s had so many sexual partners in the past, and he’s never had a bad experience.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl just because he wants to guide your hips up and down :3

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’ll laugh from time to time, mostly at your reaction to his strap slamming into you, or from the feeling of bliss when he came on your tongue.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he LOVES his body hair. he keeps it trimmed but would never shave it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he’s always whispering dirty things in your ear, but also holding your hand through your multiple orgasms.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

yes !!!!! especially to your photos :3

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

nat scatorccio has a praise kink and you will never ever let him live it down. “good boy” has him whimpering almost instantly, watching him get more and more desperate for your touch.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere, but mostly the motel. it’s where he feels the safest.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you teasing him will make him push you on the bed and go to town. he’s so easy and you love to take advantage of it.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he doesn’t bringing weapons into the bedrooms, and never will.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

PUSSY EATING CHAMPION. he’s so talented with his tongue, and he's proud of it too.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

mostly rough, but is real soft with you when you’ve had a bad day.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesn’t mind them. something’s better than nothing.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes, only if you’re down for it though. he never wants to make you feel uncomfortable sex-wise, especially in public.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he’ll go for 3 or 4 rounds before he’s collapsed on top of you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he really uses toys on you the most, all he needs is his hand down his pants.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

the amount he teases should be illegal. you could’ve swore he’s teased you to tears before.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

low grunting or breathy whines, there is no inbetween.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he made you buy the red fluffy handcuffs from spencer's and he loves them to death.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

since getting on t, he has a little cock growth (and now he won’t stop asking for bjs >_<)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very very high, but it’ll lower when you’re going thought something and you need him by your side.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he makes sure you’re taken care of before knocking out next to you.

[judeable-brainrot]

https://www.tumblr.com/judeable-brainrot/764303674389463040/hii-anon-req-cause-im-idk-but-would-you?source=share

Idk if your requests are open but im so glad it was patrick who asked to see reader again, as a trans person i struggle to feel wanted or desirable and i feel like an outsider/left out and i have to beg to be treated as an equal so im glad it wasnt the reader who had to ask, i havent had a normal or easy hook up since transitioning and forgot what that privilege felt like, i was wondering if i could request a follow up where they meet up again? The way you write patrick, hes so respectful and cool and treats reader like a person and worthy just like anyone else, not walking on eggshells but not treating him like a fetish, a girl or something inbetween or like hes an outsider whos lucky to be in pats presence. he just treats reader as reader and i really appreciate that about your writing! I dont have any particular idea what i would want to see in a second part but id just love to see him again! Maybe some body worship and praise of readers skills in bed (i have been very insecure recently lol can you tell, i really need that praise kink)

Reader and patrick need to ruin each other for anyone else 😈

hi anon! i'm so happy my writing connected with you, i very much understand where you're coming from<3 you are always worthy and you always deserve good hookups ;)

you hadn't been able to get Patrick out of your mind since that night. no one had ever treated you so...perfect. you wanted him, needed him. again and again and again, as many times as he would allow.

he wasn't any better. you'd been the only thing on his mind for days and days and days. he'd jerked off and hooked up with other people but only ever thought of you. he needed to see you again, touch you.

Patrick reached out once the weekend neared, tentitavely sending you a message on Grindr. "hey. are u busy this weekend?" you smiled when you read the message, nearly giggling with glee. "no, i'm free. did you have something in mind?" "i just wanna see u." And that's how you end up pressed against your front door with Patrick's tongue down your throat, his hands on your thighs to hold you up against the wood.

"Couldn't get you out of my head..wanted you so bad, needed you." He mumbles against your lips, trying to devour you whole. You moan, biting his lip. “Yeah? Me neither.” Patrick’s eyes flutter. “Shit..bedroom..?” You point over his shoulder. “Down the hall, first on the right.” And he’s moving in an instant, carrying you into the room, kicking the door shut. He walks over to the bed, turning before he sits so you end up straddling his lap.

Patrick looks up at you like some sort of god or piece of art. It makes your heart flutter in an unnatural way for a second hookup. You reach down and pull your shirt up and off your body, top surgery scars on display to him. He fixates on them, then tentatively reaches out a hand to brush along the pale crescent shapes. You let out a small shuddering breath, arching into the touch.

He doesn’t say anything though, doesn’t draw attention to it, and just keeps moving his hand over your torso slowly. You tug at the hem of his shirt, wanting to see him too. He obliges and pulls it off. Your mouth waters at the hair on his chest, down to his stomach and past his waistband. You run a hand down the trail, following it until you reach his jeans. You just hold them there, not asking to remove them.

And he’s still just looking at you, looking and looking, before he slowly leans in and presses a soft kiss behind your ear. You inhale sharply, hands trailing back up to find his shoulders as he continues, kissing further and further down your neck to your collarbones.

Patrick gently lifts you and flips to lay you down on the bed, hovering over you as he continues his kisses down, down, until he reaches your sweatpants. “Can I..?” You look down at him, giving him a nod through hazy eyes. He presses a kiss to your hipbones, sucking on them as he works the fabric down and off your body. You can feel yourself staining the fabric of your briefs already and you know he can see it. He just smiles and nuzzles into the small trail of hair on your tummy.

“Missed you..the way you tasted…missed your cock..” He whispers against your skin and you whine softly. “Jesus..” He chuckles, hand moving under his body to undo his jeans. “Yeah? You like that? Like the thought of me not being able to function without your dick..” You arch your back, hips shifting on the mattress. “Goddamn, Patrick..”

He wiggles the clothing off, leaving you both in your briefs. You salivate at his bulge, pushing yourself up on your elbows to get a better view. “Can I…well, could I..maybe..” He looks up at you, rubbing over your hip. “What? Use your words.” You moan softly. “Fuck…I wanna suck your dick. Okay. Happy?”

And yeah. He is. So fucking happy.

Patrick’s face splits into a wide grin. “Yeah. You can, c’mon.” You’re both moving in an instant, him taking your place and you taking his. You gently run a thumb over the waistband of his briefs, silently asking. “Take them off..” You smile at the permission and slide them down his thighs while he kicks them the rest of the way off with his feet.

God, he’s big. But you don’t care. You just want him so bad. You lean in and kitten lick the tip, keeping eye contact with him as you do. He throws his head back against the bed, hands finding your hair. “Oh fuck…” You like that, love that, and take him into your mouth as much as you can, starting up a stable pace. What you can’t fit you work with your hand, squeezing his balls too. He’s writhing under you, pulling your hair and bucking into your mouth.

“Fuck! Oh god—you’re so good! Your mouth…oh fuck—so perfect, so good, man..”

He spills into your mouth soon after, cumming hard with a cry. You swallow what you can, some of it spilling out the corners of your lips. You pull off him and kiss over his thighs gently, rubbing his knee. He pants, speaking shakily. “T-That was…god..” You smile, wiping your mouth. “Yeah?” He nods, petting your hair gently. “Yeah..god, you’re so good at that.”

“Maybe I can..return the favor?”

[lycandrophile]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.