#AND HES NOT FUCKING MAGIC

[steadybeat]

If I wrote the origional hadestown and someone edited it to the broadway version I would fucking shoot them dead

[seven-oh-four]

I'm still pretty new to chess, can anyone tell me what I'm supposed to do if my opponent plays the Eight Fucking Bears opening? I'm really having trouble.

[crowlixcx]

You never say what you’re really thinking.

[amirmeavid]

One of the funniest things about merlin fanfic is when they write magical fight scenes and its so fucking difficult to do because merlin doesn't fight in a normal way.

Like with other fandoms there's like a technique. Like there are spells to cast, techniques to use, difficulties and simple approaches. But merlin doesn't subscribe to any of that.

Like this is basically a god with the skill of a toddler.

He just tanks shit.

He doesn't even know that many spells. Like his opponents are doing all this magical techniques and hand-wavey stuff and he just... stands there. Like maybe he stumbles back sometimes, but most of the time he just takes it.

Like his opponents will be doing the magical equivalent of tornado kicks, flips, and somersaults and then he gets like a papercut. Then he lopsidedly punches with the worst form ever seen and his opponent gets flung back 200m.

He's the singular most annoying person to ever have to fight, cause you're out here pulling out your best moves, then he flicks you on the forehead and you die.

EDIT: IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR YOU OWE ME A BOOP. BY LAW. I EARNED IT.

EDIT2: You may comment the word instead, however it is no longer legally required.

[nat-20s]

I fucking LOVE that Donna is not immune to being a little starry-eyed over The Doctor in the way that many of us get a little starry-eyed over our best friends but she IS immune to being that way in front of them lmao. Double love that this appears to also be Catherine Tate and David Tennant's dynamic

[webshood]

imagine being a villain magic user and you find the last remaining member of the All Caste, the guy who's borderline immortal and carries centuries of tradition and magical practices with him, you think this is your chance, you'll fight him fair and square, depending on the outcome you'll be able to beg him to teach you the ways of All or fight till death

you approach him, ready to fight, you expect a spells, you expect flamming swords, but what he does instead is break off a steal pipe, barehanded, and beat you with it

[keferon]

What are your thoughts on a decepticon prowl?

Oh I'm all for it. But! Only if he's actually a Con. Like. Wholeheartedly.

Not "nnnooo we're doingg a bad thing and I kind of dont wanna do bad thing but I have no choice poor me".

You know how in canon he truly believes he's on the right side and makes everything to ensure that Optimus wins the war? You know how he's willing to make every tough decision so Optimus doesn't have to risk his reputation? You know how he literally makes Autobots look like shiny brave and clean heroes who did nothing wrong ever?

I want all that but the other way around. I want him to do that for Megatron and for the Decepticons. The implications would be so fucking dramatic I could write a whole essay.

Low rank Cons would hate him so fucking bad.

Starscream would try to murder him at least once a day.

Megatron would absolutely treasure him. Autobots would have it r o u g h

Can you imagine

[varpusvaras]

All Caste Jason AU where he completes his training but still goes back to Gotham with a little less of murderous tendencies but still fully intending to kill the Joker, but when he steps his foot into the city for the first time while being magical, he instantly full-body recoils like "Jesus Christ this place is fucking rancid, what the fuck-"

So now he's just hanging around, trying to magically cleanse the city because this is just too much. It's too much. He can feel his aura take negative points the longer he stays there. Jason always prided himself in being a true Gothamite and having the lungs of an ox because he grew up breathing the grime, but now he has to periodically leave to get some fresh air. Has he gotten too used to the mountain air, why is the air so thick-

[nextstopparis]

i really like the hc that magic loved arthur and protected him until merlin came into the picture but very specifically bc it means his idea of like. the laws of physics and How Nature Works would be completely warped. the reason why all those miraculously falling branches didnt raise any questions? its been happening to him his entire life

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 185

No one could get into contact with Constantine. 

Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something. 

And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!) 

So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer. 

“You’re not Constantine.” . 

The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.” 

He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.” 

… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…

[backpackingspace]

Okay but have we thought about how scary odysseus interacting with the gods /his knowledge about such things it must have been for his crew?

Its well known that odysseus is Athenas favorite, even before the Trojan war. But what does that look like from the outside? Are their conversations in some other plain? Does odysseus sometimes just glaze over and you just have to trust its a god speaking to him and not aome other fit? Out in the open? During the war odysseus was frequently doing really bizarre things on Athena's say so. Bit you also know your captain is a freak and lier so which is it this time? The gods will or odysseus just tucking with you? There's a little wariness there. But it's well known. And been like this forever.

But then you start encountering more monsters. More gods. They all talk to your captain. Your captain stops sleeping. Your go between for you and the captain starts committing crimes against the captain, starts bad mouthing him. More of your friends have died then in ten years of war. And every other day there's a new god talking to your captain. What mortal man has the interest of this many gods? What mortal man can get up in the gods faces to yell at them. What mortal man has the powers to overcome the witches they encounter the power to over turn gods spells? What mortal man's tongue is so gilded he convinces these powers to help them? And doubt comes creeping in.

[tsuki-in-faerun]

can we talk about jammer consistently refusing opportunities that give him an advantage over other people in his community?

i keep getting stuck on the magical community kitchens that he wanted to create in the epilogue of the initial season. evan thinks about abolishing the wall between magic and mundane, k thinks how to facilitate access to information, sam thinks of leading with kindness and education. jammer thinks of the essentials of life. if we have a kitchen that can make anything without the burden of material resources, why would any being in the world go hungry?

jammer leaves school to preserve his sovereignty over his body and freedom of movement, but he also gives up something that would make him meaningfully more powerful than anybody in his day to day. with magic being wild and unpredictable, he can't funnel it into solving the most pressing problems affecting the people around him and therefore, there's not enough incentive for him to push past how freaky it might make him look to whip out a wand and do magic about it.

whitney doesn't have to be at LEEP as much as he is. he doesn't have to be getting 40-50 points a game. he tries to do a little magic because someone specifically asked about it but magic itself is not making enough of a fundamental impact on the way he can achieve his goals for him to use it. so he puts it away.

what i am getting out of jammer's arc so far is that the other members of the pilot program function to ask what magic can do. what is the nature of it in this form or that form? jammer is on this quest to ask "what is magic for? can we use it so that every body has everything they need to live a good life?"

love jammer.

[lunar-wandering]

WHEN I TELL YOU I LOST MY ENTIRE SHIT

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS IN THE LAST 30 SECONDS. SHOWING MACAQUE INVESTIGATING, YEAH SURE CHECKS OUT.

MACAQUE'S MAGIC SUDDENLY TURNING INTO CHAOS MAGIC???

WHAT DO YOU MEAN. WHAT DO YOU MEANN.

AND THEN. THE ENDING.

THE CLIFFHANGER ENDING.

THE STAFF CRACKLING WITH CHAOS MAGIC

AND MACAQUE SENSING IT AND TURNING TO LOOK AT IT

LITERALLY WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU MEAN. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK.

[chaotic-pixelz]

MAJOR BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS‼️‼️

will say! reading this gave me a harsh reminder to how fucking scary bill can be.

[thebibliosphere]

I'm watching Justice League: War, and I'm sorry, but Green Lantern shielding himself and Batman in a green ball of light while Superman proceeds to kick them around Metropolis like a dodgeball is so fucking funny.

Bruce just saw the inside of three buildings go past real quick because they got punched through them by Superman, and he's relying on Hal to keep him alive. A man who a mere few hours ago accused him of being a vampire then went off on him for not having any superpowers and whose ring Bruce managed to steal with a sleight-of-hand trick to make a petty point.

His control freak issues must be screaming.