#ALSO STIMMING MY FAVOURITE ACTIVITY!!!

[wellhellothereem]

heeeheee hooohooo @pillowspace 's whiteboard is fun to draw in~~

drew some silly things gonna draw more silly today also <3

[micahthemoon]

Summer 2024

The Are You Tattoo Saga

I have been fascinated by tattoos for a long time. I love the fact that you can make yourself into a work of art quite literally showing your passions and story on your sleeve. There’s autonomy in getting tattoos as well; taking back our body that may or may not give us dysphoria (or other senses of discomfort) and decide what it shall look like for ourselves. Body parts that otherwise would make me uncomfortable have been made a source of pride (on good days) or at least I can look at it with content indifference (on the lesser days). All because of some ink. This might be why I have been getting more and more tattoos that – in some cases- may be seen as a spontaneous decision. This tattoo I’m gonna talk about now however is far from one of those.  

If you read my previous entry about how Käärijä accidentally validated my gender, you may remember that I mentioned a comfort stim sentence: Are You.

It can be linked back to the Eurovision preshow days where Bojan and Jere were just starting to get to know each other which the two idiots did by fooling around on a date. This saying has not only become a way for the two of them to show endearment (or the fans getting to interact with each other and the boys), but it has also been what finally learned me how to roll my r’s practicing the right cadence alone in my room for the simple fact that saying it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was also one of the things I became known for meeting up with fans irl for the first time between Käärijä’s Stockholm and Berlin gigs last year.

And so it didn’t take me long to daydream about getting it tattooed. Which ended up becoming a whole saga when Joker Out announced that they’d visit Malmö on their upcoming Europe tour (which is basically Denmark) and where I later – with a lot of people cheering me on from the sidelines – got Bojan to write the phrase down to me in two different fonts. To this day the concert is amongst my favourites.

Yet things don’t end there because one comment later about the possibility of getting Jere involved as well and I was off making a new sign. I tried getting Käärijä’s attention in Böle to no avail (other than making myself more stressed than I’d ever been at a concert). So, this summer going to Backas and Allas Sea Pool I had let the sign stay at home. Jokes on me, because suddenly in a rush of bravery I made myself a new sign out of half a pizza lid box left behind in the queue for the Allas Sea Pool gig. Low and behold if not Jere saw and reacted to this sign during the concert!! Getting by with a little help from my friends (especially this one finnish fan I’d met at Backas) I went home from the gig with Jere’s handwriting. A little over a month later on August 13 2024 the Are You tattoo saga concluded when I got a local tattoo artist (I’d already fanboyed too back in March when getting one of those spontaneous tattoos of mine) to make the little three way conversation permanent on my skin.

I have no idea how long the brainrot will continue. Maybe I will stop being this much of a fanboy in a year or two. But even so I don’t think (or at least I hope not) this tattoo will lose its meaning. Because It’s so much more than just a fan tattoo. It’s a story about a time I was foolishly brave no matter if it went well (Malmö) or it didn’t (Böle). It’s a story about the importance of interpersonal connections (the fan in Allas), the power of a found family through a fandom (or two) and also just a time in my life I was actively a participant in pursuing my own happiness.

I’ll say it again: I freaking love tattoos.

[traumasurvivorsactivities]

Do you have a safe place? If not, can you make one?

Here are some ideas for making a place (in this case, a bedroom, feel like a safe place.)

Decorate or re-arrange your room how you want. If you can’t afford to buy things to decorate, try and make some! Do some crafts, print off some images (even make some collages), or things like that so you can hang them in your room and make it feel like your space. I used to love printing off, or cutting out magazine images of my favourite things (animals, shows, etc) and putting them into collages to hang in my room.

I really recommend making a self care box with comfort items. Here’s a link about self-care boxes. Having things in there that help you feel calm and safe that you can access whenever you need and/or want could be good. If it helps you, things like stim toys to fidget with or even a stress ball to squeeze might be helpful to put in there.

This is an individual thing, but personally, I find having a stuffed animal in bed is comforting. I have a decent sized one that I hold when I sleep. I used to hold a pillow when I slept, because it was comfortable, but my partner bought me a stuffy that actually has arm holes to hold and I find it very comforting. (I think stuffed animals are okay for all ages, and if part of why you haven’t considered it is because of age, I urge you to give it another thought. If it helps to know, I turn 30 in November and I really find this comforting.)

If you don’t already, try picking out some sheets/bed set that you really like. I personally go for colourful, cheerful things because they’re comforting. But if you have a favourite colour, favourite animal, favourite anything honestly, try and get a sheet set with one of those on it. This can also be a good idea for curtains! If you can’t afford curtains, you can even hang blankets up instead.

Make going to bed an enjoyable thing. (This sounds weird, but I recommend trying it.) Have a routine you follow before going to bed at night that involves saving a favourite activity exclusively for before bed (like reading, or playing a game, watching a favourite show). This means you try not to do the activity at another time because it may make going to bed something to look forward to. (There’s no guarantee this will work, but I think it’s worth a shot!)

[psychodreamerangel]

soooo new intro post coz why not, its been a while

heya!! u can call me Selene, Leonid, Kenny, or just sun&moon, angel, or any sort of nickname youd like <3 my pronouns are she/he/xe/aer/mew/star and possibly other neos, im not sure yet. i am genderfluid, aroace spec, and xenogender!

im not a jirai myself, im doing my best to recover but to all jirais: i love you all sm <3

interests:

- south park (current hyperfixation!)

-> also HELLPARK ITS SO GOOD!!!

- needy streamer overload

- nintendo (esp zelda and mario kart)

- pjsk (mmj 🧡💙🩷🩵)

- hollow knight

- chicory: a colorful tale

- omori

- fashion

- vocaloid

- oneshot

- mouthwashing

- magical girls

- angels, birds, just anything with feathered wings. really just wings on their own.

- psychology, art and writing

- stars and space

- qsmp and life series

my favourite characters!

ame chan(nso), thomas, greggory, and estella(hellpark), kenny mccormick(south park), megurine luka(vocaloid), haruka kiritani(pjsk), zelda(skyward sword), mami tomoe(pmmm), niko(oneshot), mipha(botw), goodra, sylveon and noivern(pkmn)

feel free to use any of these as nicknames for me too <3 no srysly u dont know the gender euphoria it gives me to go by so many names

basic dni (no terfs, homophobes, older men, fashion jirai, ableist, sexist, anti-furry/otherkin, etc.)

i only tag what i deem to be severe tws, such as excessive blood and gore, i do not tag vent posts, art with dark content, or jirai related things so just be aware of that!

- pls do not send in asks for donations, i have literally no money to send and am easily triggered when it comes to politics.

feel free 2 dm me or send in asks or anons, im more than happy 2 chat!! if u ever send me a message and im reblogging posts but not responding, i promise im not ignoring u, my social battery is just dead a lot of the time :( ill respond as soon as im ready! [im also just quite awkward and shy in general, pls remember that @-@]

my alt accs:

♡ @dreamyangel-stims (stimboard blog)

☆ @psychoelectricangel (official art blog)

♡ @est3lline (hellpark fan blog)

☆ @vitaharuka-birb (pjsk pharmacy blog!)

♡ @rainycandyu (vent blog, not very active)

[rangerstark25]

Here’s the full set, as promised :)

I drew these for a school project, for which I won’t explain the parameters because I’m not sure I understood them correctly myself! I chose to draw 5 canonically (with 1 exception) autistic characters, each representing a trait associated with ASD :D

First up is Quinni Gallagher-Jones, from Heartbreak High (the 2023 reboot)! I love her so much, and the actor who plays her (Chloe Hayden!) is autistic herself too! Quinni is the only one of these characters to actively state she is autistic. She’s also shown wearing noise-cancelling headphones to help with audio-related sensory issues, as in my drawing of her :)

Number two is Huey Duck from the Ducktales reboot! This is the character that isn’t exactly canonically autistic, but he is shown stimming several times, which we affectionately refer to as his Happy Flappies! I think Astro-Boyd was discussed as being autistic, but just because he might be doesn’t mean Huey can’t be (it feels canon to me so much that I was about halfway through this before I realised Huey wasn’t canonically autistic actually). Also Dewey and Louie definitely have both different presentations of ADHD (this isn’t canon either but come up, hyperactive Dewey and inattentive Louie are right there)

Next up is Entrapta from the She-Ra reboot (wow that’s 3 for 3 on reboots!) I love Entrapta, although I do wish her character was treated a little better. One of my favourite things about her is the detail that she will only eat food if it’s tiny (and seems to only like fizzy drinks), which is what I depicted here!

For number four we have my current hyperfixation, Donatello from Rise of the TMNT! It took me too long to start watching this show, I was already hyperfixated after just seeing a few clips. I haven’t seen any other TMNT series (sorry) (I did watch bayverse after seeing ROTTMNT) but I already know I like the Rise artstyle most (in addition to my favourite character being canonically autistic). I kinda failed to show what I wanted to with this drawing (Donnie’s special interest in tech, I had SHELLDON with him in the sketch) but I’m still happy with how it turned out overall. Please dismiss the fact that I drew the spider-shell arms while he’s wearing the hover-shell. My favourite thing about this one has got to be how well I feel like I managed to mimic the Rise artstyle!

And finally we have Abed Nadir from Community! He’s the oldest character of the bunch (in the sense that Community is from 2008) and yet he’s one of the best autistic characters in media to date! In the drawing I tried to show the way he communicates through use of movie and TV references.

I spent way too long on all of these, but I do think they turned out well. Unsurprisingly to most, each of these characters are my favourites from their respective shows (some are tied with other characters, but I still think it counts)! I do think it’s funny that two of these characters are played by Dani Pudi. It was also surprisingly difficult to choose what outfits to draw the live action characters in. The temptation to add headcanoned pride-flag stickers or pins next to the neurodiversity symbols on these was high, but I resisted for the sake of canon! The headcanons will live on in my head rent-free anyways.

Anywhizzle, I’ve been rambling on for long enough, so enjoy the post, I’mma head out (feel free to ask any questions you may have in the notes or my ask box or whatever, I’ll probably answer :))

~ Madelyn

[sunriseverse]

get to know me 🌻

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (thank you sass!)

do you make your bed?

i mean, i guess if you count "smoothing out my duvet" as making my bed, yeah.

what's your favourite number?

thirteen and eight :)

what is your job?

eternal suffering (working on my second uni degree).

If you could go back to school would you?

[laughs like a hyena] bold of you to assume i've ever left school. unfortunately i think i'm doomed to academic pursuits for the rest of my life. that said if i could i would go back and force myself to realise i cannot do applied maths, that would have saved me time.

can you parallel park?

yes :) i actually like driving, i find it calming.

a job you had that would surprise people?

i actually was an after-school tutor for elementary students for a year! it was terrible, because i get overstimulated very easily by children, who are loud and insistent, but they were all very sweet. i didn't get paid nearly as much as i would have liked, though.

do you think aliens are real?

i am an alien agnostic, by which i mean i haven't seen proof, but if i were to, yeah.

can you drive a manual car?

not at the moment but i could probably figure it out if i had to.

what's your guilty pleasure?

generally i feel no guilt for my pleasures but uh. i remembered i actively read the sci novel on purpose, so. yeah, that. (would not recommend)

tattoos?

not yet! i want a couple, though, when i have more time and money.

favourite colour?

black and purple! and gold. and...........green and blue. i actually like a lot of colours haha.

favourite type of music?

i have been known to like mandopop u_u but i also like darkwave, goth, and anything that makes a compelling amv.

do you like puzzles?

i do! people used to gift me thousand piece plus puzzles when i was younger, and while they've mostly been lost in moves, i do think of them fondly.

any phobias?

lack of autonomy, which i think is a reasonable phobia. aside from that, no.

favourite childhood sport?

swimming! i was actually a decent competitive swimmer for years, and placed a number of times in regional meets (i didn't go any further because i hated having to be in meets due to the unique horrors of being wet and cold and half-nude around large crowds of people. and also life-related bullshit stressed me out so much i had to quit).

do you talk to yourself?

yes :) not as much as i used to because i live with people i'm not close to at the moment and i tend to stim a lot if i'm speaking to myself and i'd rather not have that conversation.

what movie(s) do you adore?

pacific rim (2013), the old guard (2020), the diptych finale of dijia aoteman/ultraman taiga (1997????) which isn't a film but was formative to my childhood.

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! tea my beloved.............i will drink a lot of different types but i am a black tea lover at heart.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

fashion designer, actually!

tagging: @krownest @lesbianlanval @jaybirdsdelight @malewifefirestar @tatchling @impishglee and anyone else who wants to play!

[bizzyboyfriends]

💐🔑🌡!!

Since the last one I did was that of Inspekta, Deciding to do this for Cappy !!!!! Thank you for the ask!!!!!! I also went on a bit of a ramble so uhhh, it's a lil long.

Ask game found here

💐 - Do you have a garden? what does it look like? do you instead keep flowers in your home? what kind?

So I feel like having a garden is a must w/ him. Like: I think it'd be really good for his mental health? While he might not have an interest at first, I feel like he'd end up enjoying it. He can feel important and needed but in a way that there's also that underlying pressure of not having to be the BEST. I feel like it'd start out pretty plain but by the time he's done with it, It is absolutely COVERED in flowers and plant life. Then it'll start to infect the house sooo yeahh. Probably would end up having flowers around and it would be very green. I think his favourites though would definelty be marigolds and blue roses. Also later down the line he'd probably end up planting peonies and daffodils since those are my personal favourites and he'd wanna give me some as well. Also Forget-me-nots with those being Inspekta's favourite.

🔑 - Which one of you locks themselves out of the house more often?

Surprisingly enough: I think he would. I don't really leave the house often but when I do: I usually have my key on a lanyard around my neck which makes it hard to FORGET to grab it. While I can see Capo being in a rush and forgetting it, spending all day doing stuff and then getting home and... oops. Which is funny since out of the two of us, I'm the one who's memory is definelty worse. Alas, Routines have saved me from this specific scenario I suppose.

🌡️ - When you or your f/o gets sick, do you take care of each other? what do you do?

Capo is the type to be crawling to the kitchen and still hit you with the ' I'm fine '. It has never worked. most of the time I'll just make sure he stays in bed and catches up on rest while making him meals. Also lots of snuggles, Specifically like, laying between my legs and on my chest since he finds that comfy and while doing so we'll either play games or watch stuff. He prefers watching movies / shows when he is though since it's easier to just watch then actively play something depending on brain power. I also make sure none of the bizzys' bother him - not because I don't trust them but it'll drag him into work brain.

As for me, I am ALSO the same. I'll say I'm fine when it comes to work ( although I'm whine-ier than usual, According to a friend. ). Mostly because I want a distraction from it and like feeling productive which end up in me accidentally pushing myself until I can no longer do so. Then I'll lay down and figure out I can't sleep because of noise and/or the light. Then I'm up again doing random things to feel busy. I also prefer being alone since it helps me concentrate better cause when I'm sick: My brain is SO BAD. Capo however, has stopped this before I've even started. He can pm tell when I'm sick instantly and the moment I'm not resting and taking it easy? He's chasing me back to bed with a broom. He makes really refreshing stuff tho, so whenever I am sick: His cooking always makes me feel better. Specifically with the feeling of build up/tickly feelings ( if that makes sense ). I tend to make a lotta noises/stims because I cannot deal with it. I DESPISE the feeling and it overwhelms me so he tries to distract me as best he can and make sure I'm good :) !!!!!

[plushie-lovey]

🍑!

🍑 tell me about your current favourite comfort object 

Oh boy, oh boy, I get to talk about Soup!!

My goodest goofiest lil buddy. He's still my favorite comfort item. Who knew that he'd mean so much to me, considering what I originally thought about him when I bought him?

I'm sure I've told the story before, but Soup was bought from a local Goodwill. That day I was on the hunt for webkinz, and found this dog plushie in the middle of it. I actually almost put him back, because he was kind of crusty and I'm not a big fan of neutral colored plush. But his stupid little face compelled me. I knew I'd regret putting him back. So I took him home, washed him, brushed him and ended up falling in love! Also, originally I did not call him Soup. I can't remember what his first name was (Cracker or Cheese or something). But then I thought that Soup was a perfectly goofy name for this silly dog, and it stuck. Now he's my best buddy. I even made him into an OC!

We watch anime together. Sometimes Soup sits on my datemate's shoulder and watches him play video games. We go out places together. Soup's always there to cuddle when I'm sad. He likes to be used as a stim toy, too. Soup's favorite activities are spending time with his cousins (the Soup Cousins), dancing and having his picture taken. Speaking of which, check out this selfie Soup just took

He's the best friend anyone could ask for!

[gerardway-is-my-babygirl]

Okay, now I need your Renfield headcanons!! And I need to know if you agree/disagree with mine 😄

I hope you know I started stimming so hard when I got this notif and I'm still actively stimming now AGHJ

I absolutely agree he wouldn't keep up with "popular" music now, he's definitely still listening to the stuff he somehow got exposed to when he was younger and hes just chilling with not knowing who *Insert current pop artist here* Is

I also absolutely love him using Dracula's punishments as a way to punish himself!! Also him reading poetry... I would pay good money to hear nick hoult read me literally anything. Even the bee movie script. Also between you and me he DEFINITELY ruins his underwear at least 5 times a week

Time for my hcs!! This Is gonna be a long post

-I Imagine he has never had a phone before and he has no Idea how they work. Yes I know he has a laptop In the original script but that man Is 126 years old he would not know how to work modern technology. Rebecca gives him money to buy a phone and he buys a shitty nokia from 10 years ago because he doesn't like that the keys on a new phone are flat

-He's autistic!!!! He struggles with social cues and loud/crowded spaces, which Is why he likes his job so much. It gives him a peaceful atmosphere to work In and thats why he uses the chloroform to silence his victims Instead of letting them scream. Some stims I think he'd do are: rocking back and forth, dancing, fidgeting with things In his hands, chewing on things and doing his little giggle

-His main love language Is touch. I Imagine he loves feeling Dracula's face and teeth, he'd spend hours running his fingers across Dracula's cheeks If he could. He also enjoys cuddling and holding hands with Rebecca(platonically) because he never got any affection from Dracula.

-His favourite colours are pink and orange(which Is funny considering they are my least favourites) and he owns so much pink clothing. He's always struggled with being traditionally masculine and now that he lives In a day and age where gender expression Is more fluid and colours are less gendered he Is free to wear pink shoes and pink shirts!!

-He struggled with his sexuality for a long time before and even for quite a while after meeting Dracula. He never really loved his wife romantically and It didn't help that they were forced Into their marriage by their parents and societal expectations. They were very distant but Renfield just thought that maybe she wasn't the right one, but there wasn't anything he could do so he just put up with It and repressed his feelings. Then he met Dracula and finally realised hes gay, though he kept trying to hide It from himself until eventually his wife found out about the letters he had been sending to Dracula where the vampire flirted with him. She got angry and that was the last straw for Renfield that made him finally decide to go to Transylvania

-I think he'd really like rats and maybe even get one as a pet after leaving Dracula. He'd probably name It something cute like snuffles or mr whiskers. Maybe even Remy because It sounds like Renny(which I Imagine Rebecca calls him)

-He's VERY possessive over Dracula, to the point where he felt jealousy when he found out about Drac's wives and sort of lost himself a bit which contributed to his short descent Into madness when he was locked up In the asylum

-He loves birdwatching and just zoning out while watching them fly around. He can't do It as much now because he lives In the city but when he and Drac lived In Europe they often had houses on the outskirts of forests so he could do It a lot more back then

-I think after he and Rebecca defeated Dracula he definitely asked to "borrow" a pair of handcuffs and she looked at him suspiciously before hesitantly agreeing. Then he proceeded to get himself stuck In them a few weeks later and had to call her to help because he lost the key under his bed

-I think he'd like baking pastries and lots of sweet tasting things since they remind him of Lillian and how much she loved sweet treats, plus It helps him forget the bitter taste of Dracula's blood. He's very bad at cooking though, like absolutely atrocious. Its like when you make a sim cook something like eggs and toast and they burn the oven to a crisp

-He does crocheting and crosstitching!! He loves making gifts for Rebecca and the DRAAG support group

-Hes a very sentimental person and ends up holding onto things he doesn't really need but cant let go of. He still has one of Lillian's old teddy bears from when she was a baby and he also kept a lot of Dracula's clothes and rings along with his coffin and cane

I'm gonna stop there because this Is far too long but thank you so much for asking AGHHHH the autism cannot be contained

[xxmoonch1ldxx]

hellooo, ive read through ur fics and they are beautiful and i humbly provide a prompt 4 u; Anthony stimming in front of Ian. thats it that the prompt. since their reunion, Anthony has finally felt comfortable enough to stim in front of Ian when he wants to without shame or sum idk im autistic and love projecting onto my favourite content creators

Hey Anon, finally getting back to you after a milennial. I'm sorry for the wait! I got you, I too am autistic and love projecting so here we go :)

Anthony had always held himself to some pretty stupid standards.

When he was younger, he believed he needed to always put socks the same color or people would definitely notice and laugh at him. As he grew older, it became about straightening his hair, not only for the emo style but mainly because he was ashamed of his curls and thought he would get mocked for them. Mainly, though, he battled with his, for a long time undiagnosed but very obvious, ADHD and everything that came along with it.

The shame he felt at his own behavior started pretty young, when he used to simply stay mute instead of allowing himself to talk to people in kindergarten. He knew he had a loud voice and an even louder laugh, one that his mom always told him to quiet down. Even though she was never mean about it, Anthony had ended up taking it more personal than he should have. Sadly, though, it didn't get easier; there were so many assignments he failed because he hadn't been able to focus and was to ashamed to ask for help from anyone, lest they tell him to get his head out of his ass and listen.

Anthony tried, he did, but that never quite worked.

It didn't quite work like a lot of things did, but one person he did let into his life and his odd behavior was Ian. Ian never whined when he laughed too loud, Ian never minded how he jumped subjects of conversations and Ian always helped him in the classes he failed to understand due to having lost focus. Anthony had always been so, so grateful for that, but there was still one thing he had struggled with.

Stimming. Anthony had a lot of small habits that he always suppressed, mostly in fear he would get judged. Even with how much he loved Ian, he always feared he would disrupt the younger man with those repetitive behaviors. He also remembered a few times where he had been unable to help the thrumming of his fingers as he worked, the stress of his later years at Smosh taking a toll on him and making him unable to stay still even more than usual; Ian used to turn around and ask him to stop in this irritated voice. Not mean, once again, but it hit the nail in the coffin.

He was disturbing people in a way he shouldn't be, or at least, that's what he thought.

And then, after a few years of therapy, an official diagnosis, getting on meds and finally unloading all of this trauma, Anthony and Ian had reunited.

The core of the relationship, their comedic chemistry and the ease they had once felt around each other came back, even stronger than it had been before. Anthony had never been more grateful for something in his life; or maybe he had, but only about the fact he and Ian were now an official thing. A couple. Boyfriends.

They had learned how to live around each other again, speak out what bothered them and be honest. Issues were solved way faster today, and way easier too. Working was comfortable, funny, fulfilling in the same way it had been back when they started Smosh. Hanging out was, too, and they now found comfort and pleasure in the mere act of being together, opposite to the later years of their friendship when they barely spent any time together outside of work. For that, Anthony was fully grateful too; it sure was fun that being together now included more things like kisses, hugs and more...Physical activities. Anthony loved those improvements.

Ian and him now were together more often than not, and there was an ease about it that had never been there before. Sometimes, they didn't even do much; Ian would be watching yet another history video and Anthony would be laying with his head on his boyfriend's lap, working on his new interview. He cherished those small moments, especially the few instances when Ian would interrupt him for a bit just to press a fond and loving kiss on his lips. It was lovely, it filled Anthony's heart in a way nothing else ever had.

One of the things he cherished the most, though, was how earnest they had both been with each other. Vyvanse pills might work for focus and other symptoms of ADHD, but the stimming part couldn't be erased from him. Happily, though, Anthony didn't feel the need to hide himself anymore.

When they were in the office, he would sometimes be playing with everything that fell under his hands. The little holder of his phone, the pencil he was holding, his rings that he wore; it was a thing that greatly helped him focusing when they were brainstorming. Instead of whining like he had sometimes used to, Ian would always look at him fondly, with a smile that screamed 'I knew this would happen', but would never interrupt him. He had even started bringing a few of those little water toys that could be squished for Anthony to press on as he talked. He had brought one in the shape of a black cat, because he said it reminded him of Anthony. He was blushing as he said it, but Anthony had thought it was so cute he had kissed Ian on the mouth hard enough to bruise his lips.

Then, there was the way he often hummed as he did things. Really, anything; it would also help him focus and he didn't even notice it at time. Ian would sometimes join him in his low singing when he did the dishes or even worked on some scripts, a smile on his lips. Neither he or Ian were particularly great singers, but they always ended up laughing so hard they cried or just having a sweet, domestic moment.

Ian had also brought a few rocking chairs inside the office, decision that had been questioned but Anthony was forever grateful. It was easier and grounding to rock on a chair that was made for it, a habit Ian had probably noticed and remembered from their time at school and how Anthony couldn't keep himself still on a chair for two seconds. Ian always scolded him when he brought his chair on two legs, telling he might fall and to stop; this was something else that Anthony cherished about him. How protective he had always been, how much he cared.

Most of the time, Anthony thrummed his legs endlessly. This habit put a strain on his muscles, something Ian knew, so he would lean in to place a hand on his thigh, remind him to calm down. Ian would rub the skin and pat it simply before retrieving his hand, knowing Anthony didn't even notice what he was doing. There was also how he would reach out to tug at Anthony's arm when he either bit his nails too much or scratch at his skin until it would become red. Sure, there were days Ian wasn't there to do so and Anthony would end up breaking his skin open, but his boyfriend would always be there once he came back home to rub the skin with lotion and kiss the scar, achingly soft and tender. Anthony didn't think he could love him more, but Ian always outdid himself. He once bought gums and straws just for Anthony to chew on when he needed to.

Even with his weirder habits, Ian didn't judge. He didn't judge when Anthony cleared his throat too much or repeated random words or sentences. He didn't judge when he would flap his hands and move them a little too much as he talked. He didn't mind when Anthony would get excited and jump a little too much, or he would get all over the place. Instead, he seemed to find it very amusing and so, so adorable. Just like he cherished the little tunes Anthony whistled when he was particularly engrossed into something.

All those little things that Anthony had spent years hiding and taming down, all the habits he had taken that included hurting himself and then dealing with the consequences himself, he didn't have to face them alone. Ian would always be there to ease the ache in his muscles after he pulled at them too much by how much he moved, or to cream his red and sore skin, massage his jaw when he had chattered his teeth too much. Anthony treasured all of those actions, how much care Ian had towards him and how he showed him all the time. It was a little wild to find someone who finally didn't mind all those things about him, and especially someone who even cherished a few of those habits. Anthony would see it in the fond smile stretched on Ian's face when he stared at him, just like he hung the moon, when he was just whistling while doing the dishes. He would feel it in the way Ian kissed him softly when he would sing, how he wouldn't even note the flapping of his hands and simply lean over to brush a strand of hair away from his face.

Anthony felt comfortable to be fully himself in a way he had never had before. He knew and could feel the way Ian loved every little thing about him, from the way he smiled so softly to the way he catered to his every needs, even when Anthony ignored he had them.

Anthony simply cherished Ian himself, fully and wholly. He had never been more grateful of something than the fact Ian felt the same.

[trinketfairy]

How plushies help me as an autistic person

Their presence is very soothing, whether it’s because of the soft fabrics they’re made out of, or because of other feature like weighted bean bags or scents. They can also vary in the way they feel, which makes for great opportunities to explore my sensory seeking desires. Above all, whenever I feel stressed, I know that I have them to rely on to bring me comfort, and they’re great to stim with when I need a sensory release.

They can act as physical representations of the things that are important to me- including certain memories, places, people, animals, and characters- in the form of a plush that I can hug,h hang out with, or play with any time I’m wanting to engage with that specific thing. I have plushies given to me by my partner, ones that I got while on vacation, ones that I got for a special occasion, and ones that I got to remind me of a favourite piece of media.

Talking about pluhsies with others brings me joy, and it also helps me to break the ice when it comes to new or challenging social activities. Collecting toys is easily my biggest passion, and talking about it with other people offers them the opportunity to see what kind of person I am and what I value the most. I also get a great amount of joy out of sharing information about plushies and my love for them with like-minded people who are just as passionate about them as I am!

The research I can do on plushies (and toys in general) is endless, and it’ll for sure take me a long time before I completely run out of information on them that I don’t already know! With other past (and less intense) special interests, they often died off because I ran out of things to research about them. But with a subject as broad as plushies and toys, I have so many opportunities to learn more about them at my disposal.

Most of all, they make the perfect companions, as I don’t have to navigate through the confusion of social interaction that drains me of my energy. As much as I love talking to other people, it can become tiring trying to figure out how to navigate social events, but when plushies exist to be good listeners and provide companionship without the need for the unspoken rules of socializing, I often feel more at-ease around them than I do around many people.

[lostcitysystem]

Sensory overload tips cause I just had sensory overload and after 14 years of dealing with this I know some stuff:

(You probably know all of this but it can be good to keep a reminder in case your brain tends to freeze up during an overload- also everyone is different and this is just what helps me)

Go into a dim or dark room

Remove sound stimuli by turning off phone alerts, putting on noise cancelling headphones/ear defenders and distancing yourself from people talking/music playing

Take off any clothes that may be making you uncomfortable

Take deep, slow breaths, focusing on being calm and lowering your heart rate/brain activity

Try to add some weight to your body by piling on pillows/duvets or using weighted blankets/plushies (if you find it helpful)

Get to your ideal temperature by removing layers or adding them (I prefer the cold so I usually take off clothes and lie on the floor or my bed without the bedding)

Stim if you’d like to, it’s not doing you any harm to get energy out of your body (just be aware of self-harm stims that can aggravate your sensory overload, even if they feel good in the moment)

Engage in special interests- watch your favourite show, hug a plush related to your spin, listen to music related to your spin etc

Drink a glass cold glass of fluid or have a hot drink (if you’d like)

Talk to a trusted friend or loved one, they may be able to help calm you down

Try eating a safe food or chewing some gum, it can be a good stim and will likely calm your nervous system (in more severe sensory overload, food can be overwhelming though)

Stay in this calm space you’ve created for however long you need to, you’re doing really well and there’s no pressure to come out and socialise with others or do anything that could relapse the sensory overload

Finally (after the sensory overload has ceased), if you haven’t already, gather resources in a box, drawer, bag etc to help you in the event of another overload- some good options are stim toys, ear plugs/defenders, a list of things you find calming, printed online articles about sensory overload and how to calm it and things related to your special interest(s)

I hope this was helpful and I know it was probably stuff you’ve heard before but I didn’t know about a lot of this stuff until years after I first started having sensory overload and had to learn it from experience.

I hope you’re doing okay and have a lovely day, you’re doing the very best you can and I’m proud of you.

Feel free to add on other tips if you have them! This is not a comprehensive list and more insights are useful!

[katyspersonal]

1 and 2 for Logarius

3 And 4 for Maria

5 and 6 for Caryll

8, 9, and 10 for Bloody Crow (he gets three because he’s my blorbo)

<3

Oh well, this will be a bit of a ride, huh? But thank you!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

Logarius/Rogeriusz

1) What would their social media page/activity be like

Hypocrite on main, nuff said. Would post plenty of short posts "spreading some positivity", encouraging others to be kind and good, some wise thoughts etc. Often some fake-deep quotes plastered on aesthetic pictures of nature. Sometimes they're ACTUALLY deep thoughts. But his comments section is the utter Hell as most of the comments are people sharing something bad he did/said earlier and calling him out on being hypocrite. The funniest part is that he doesn't moderate his comments section at ALL - never bothers to block any users or retort or just close the darn section! Granted, there are plenty of white knights that defend him in the comments. Every darn post has like 5k comments worth of online battlefield djfsdds

2) What animal they remind me of

For some reason, this is ram!

I tried to disconnect from cold aesthetic because that's Cainhurst stuff, but I keep saying that he is 'just evil Ludwig', haha. So he feels like a hooved animal for me, but whereas Ludwig is indeed like a stallion himself, Logarius would need to be an animal who is associated with both stubbornness (to a fault, because Gold Ardeo symbolises being a total blockhead determined to crash everyone who you deem impure) and majesty. I think their horns ARE pretty graceful!

Maria

3) My thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone

Alright, if I completely empty my head from all lore and just look at her... For some reason, overall impression on her design is no very... 'impressive' for me? She indeed wears a costume of a fighter prioritising agility over defence, and seems like just a blonde, and is indeed a woman with sword(s)... Like this is indeed a female action figure, sure? However, it is all in the DETAILS. It is when I look at filigree on her clothes, and how she is not just blonde but actually ashy blonde, and how pretty her pale eyelashes against dark eyeshadow, and how beautiful that green brooch looks against white collar, and take closer look at her eyes. THEN I actually appreciate her and think she is very beautiful! From what I know, many people were absolutely swayed by her merely appearing instantly, so I am not sure why it was different for me? I think her design is good enough, but the REAL beauty of it all lurks in intricate and elegant details for me!

4) Physical headcanons (sleeping habits, favourite food, all that)

She's is the type to have trouble falling asleep without some sort of audible stimulation. It has to be something - humming, burning wood in the fireplace, someone reading and shuffling pages, all that. Funny enough, this is the exact problem my Brador has! (Cute date idea - falling asleep peacefully while listening to Simon cry <3 sdjhdhs) That naturally subdued when she was torn between dream/nightmare, we talking about her "physical" life!

Kind of on a brink between physical and psychological, but her favorite way to stim is to push her whole face against plants full of morning dew, especially bushy flowers such as hydrangea!

Sitting near a puddle or another shallow body of water and sticking her hands down in it is also a favourite.

The dark area under her eyes is not a makeup nor it is dark circles of Constant Exhaustion, it is just a feature that tends to appear in most people with Pthumerian blood in them! I generally headcanon that Pthumerians and humans can have children, so some characters in Bloodborne are mixed species; Maria is certainly mixed between human and Pthumerian like other vilebloods, a branch that has long history of being super selective with the spouses to basically combine strong features of both species. I also decided to take her eyebrows being white not as creators being lazy with coloring the model, but as a legit feature - again, a hint of some Pthumerian blood.

She is cursed with only ever feeling appetite to the foods that are not healthy - be it less refined kind of alcohol, exceptionally fat meat, food that got burnt beyond saving, overly sugary pastries and cakes etc. That is her unique developed reaction to being able to eat very good and high-quality foods as someone living in the rich castle, so when she left Cainhurst, she had to put extra willpower into eating normally now that no one will bring her meals on the plate. It is just that the highest restaraunt quality meal she has to force herself to finish without even feeling pleasure, when a burnt potato that was also overly salted will make her drool.

She is physically strong without training and was born this way - again, Pthumerian genes showing. So instead of training to lift weights and hit stronger, Maria had to learn somewhat of an opposite, to stop hurting people's hands with merely handshake or accidentally sending objects to fly while trying to move them. So, most of her training as a hunter had to do with agility and applying this force the right way; prior that, she was having to learn to apply her strength towards other people in reasonable amount. Basically her arc was not to become ripped, but to learn how to be ripped in a way that HELPS her rather than works as a destructive liability.

Continuing theme of a power she had to learn to control + that can be dangerous! As a child and teenager, if she was bleeding in some way (like cut or damage from falling), she would start to accidentally ignite things around her from anxiety... And people who'd try to help, too. The worst that happened so far was burning half of Ludwig's face in panic and anger. The power of pyromancy and quickening draws itself from the blood. So, when she started having periods, she had to actually seek guidance from elders in Cainhurst to not like... burn everything around her or keep teleporting away from people in fear. However, she didn't have many people to talk about it with, because such powerful genetic combination is rare. She suppressed the pyromancy quite well though, to the point she has to focus very much (and to hurt herself very much) to awaken it again (something Gehrman resented, as she was "burying her hunter potential"). Maria was, however, able to teach Gehrman and his other hunters how to use the quickening (teleportation) because everyone who imbibed holy blood could master it! But pyromancy, alas, IS inherited genetically!

She ended up giving into a habit of having a glass of red wine in like, every other several hours, later in her life as a hunter and then as overseer of Research Hall.

Natually, she has some scars on her belly area from previous attempts to see how to tap on her powers of blood and fire if she has to. I am yet to decide whether Gehrman had the balls to reflect them on the Doll or left any traces of her pain out; he did know about them though, as he had to care for Maria after one of the unlucky attempts.

Caryll/Karel

5) Social headcanons (what do they think of their friends/allies if they have any, what are they looking for in relationship, what people tend to think about them...)

Caryll does believe in respecting the elders - which is convenient, because he was one of the older Byrgenwerth scholars, together with Damian! It is a bit not conceivable for him that sometimes someone much older than you can be dumb as shit, as in his life older people were offering nothing but a wise advice, years of valid experience and predictions that turned out to be right in the end! But, yes, he will take it nearly personally if one of the scholars disrespects Willem, Gehrman, Dores, Damian, Carolee (memory altar witch) or Custodio (gatekeeper)... and if they disrespect him, too.

He does share Willem's 'the only thing that will teach the fools is their failure' philosophy, so he will often refuse to intervene and only open his yap when he is to explain the person WHAT went wrong and WHY they failed. He is also the type to learn at the expense of the mistakes of others, so at times it gets as dark as letting the other people endure their failures to see what happens and apply to himself. However, he likes quite a number of the people he knows. It is less direct indifference and more of a 'sadistic' type of caring: Caryll finds enjoyment in watching his acquaintances become smarter and stronger with harsh life experiences.

On the other hand, he believes that the 'ultimate' language (runes) will significantly speed-up evolution of humanity, as a single experience will be able to be communicated to everyone else through only one symbol. He made several attempts to capture very personal and intimate yet very important personal experiences, there exist some runes that 'player' never finds that could serve as valid life lessons. People who know of such practice are all Byrgenwerth scholars, so they do not find anything callous in distributing personal experiences and feelings 'for common knowledge'. Yurie/Julie is an exception, and thinks truth of Great Ones is quite enough - there is no need to utilise intimate feelings 'for common good'!

Caryll is a true artist that admires the shapes, views and people's bodies and faces as they are, believing in his ability to communicate the unique beauty and features of every individual via portraits. He doesn't have a 'type' and is able to praise the physical quirks of every person; not because he has no standards, but because he can see beauty in how every person is built! He feels a little antsy when someone is insecure about their "imperfection" and wants to obscure something with hair, make-up or clothes. The type of an artist that will tell you to move your hair behind so he could capture your big Dumbo ears, you know! If you get this lil shit to actually speak with words, he might praise you right into accepting your body.

Caryll is not very interested in relationship; besides, again, his trait of wanting to capture and pass on what he can plays out. He is more interested in watching healthy (or not so much) relationship of other people and capture them in a book. However, he still needs love of course, just different type of it, such as friendship or platonic admiration or master's patronage.

6) Psychological headcanons (tastes, fears, talents, regrets, how they deal with anger, just anything that comes to mind on the topic)

Caryll dives into nonverbal behavior very often, sometimes able to only offer strange noises, gestures or doodles as means of communication. If it wasn't for Byrgenwerth introducing him the runes, he'd study music to communicate his feelings, as he believes that visual art, albeit good, can't be understood at the same extent as the sound. He might reach stressful state where he just gives a single frustrated sound every time someone asks what's wrong - and then gets upset when nobody gets what DOES he need ;-; A rare person is able to cooperate with this 'barrier' - Rom, for example.

Caryll's anger is cold and passive-aggressive. He will never yell or snap, but rather taint with no end. One knows Caryll is angry with them when Caryll starts to verbally communicate more eagerly - and it is all some subtle hints or 'clever' remarks! Caryll gets more nonverbal when he feels vulnerable; but also, when he feels safe.

Past his arc of creating alphabet of inhuman sounds, Caryll feels dark joy upon learning that some human language is going extinct. However, if it wasn't for the runes, he'd have had opposite reaction. Normally he believes that no language can be universal as each has unique nuances worthy of celebrating! Runes language, however, showed the way to transcend this limitation.

He is extremely happy when he can cuddle someone, be it a person or an animal. Tactile contact is very important for him! He has a history of overstepping his boundaries with cuddling animals that would end biting/scratching him. As a human, you can easily earn a place amongst his best friends by letting him hug you without 'making it weird or have it be sexualised'. He subscribed to the fact that most people would never understand his feelings or intentions correctly, but he does have a secret rune that gives no benefits except for understanding how he sees the world and people, that he would gladly give to those who care about him enough.

He is confident in his own beauty in an interesting way, loving to wear boots to highlight his legs and often posing like some sort of model when he does speak xD His voice might appear monotonous most of the time, however.

He is 35+ whereas other scholars barely reached their 20s, yet is able to cry from too much fear or confusion easily. Realising that he was drastically misunderstood might absolutely ruin him mentally, and he resorts to just sitting in the corner and whimpering, only answering questions with some noises.

Him inventing language of inhuman sounds was not a blessing of chosen one, not something done with his body, but simply him being a nerd and a genius enough to crack the (accurate enough) code towards ultimate way of communication. He analysed the ancient Hunter-like symbol of Pthumerians and other symbols a lot; just like that, he is very good with picking the exact sound tone every time.

Crow of Cainhurst (Eidinghardt)

8) Made-up connections with other characters that weren't in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever)

Maria - They are not blood-related (from what I imagine yet, but hell knows those darn victorian royals), yet they see each other as brother and sister for the most part. It borders between 'friends who are like siblings' and 'friends who are like a tsundereish couple', but the former, honestly, wins. In either case, they are pretty close with each other! They are able to be rude with each other and have conflicts without drastic consequences, their arguments are mostly healthy and natural. Just that they were always capable of both being rivals OR getting up for the shared goal. Eidinghardt was also really jealous when Maria decided to leave Cainhurst and join the hunters, after Maria left he proceeded to take it out on some friends without fully realising how vulnerable he was left.

Elias - his blood sibling. Similarly to how things were with Maria, Eidin was striking conflict with Elias quite often - except Elias was fighting him back verbally rather than arm-wrestling him like he deserved. There is just something about the Crow that makes him have very tense and charged relationship with people truly dear for him, being close with him is both a blessing and a curse! Aware of Elias having a crush on Annalise, he liked to tease him that he was the only one 'actually having a chance to marry her' that'd bring Elias to tears (and have Crow be punched hard by Maria fhdhsf). But he did not know what kind of ancient Hell Cainhurst was to strike thanks to Byrgenwerth being nosy about ancient secrets, and in a way he misses the vulnerable and soft but also brave and heroic sibling, after Elias was 'reborn' into a manic and cursed Cain XIII. He still has pangs of pain for how he was treating Elias, never having realised envy that he felt towards him and how much he was bearing with dignity.

Cainhurst executioner - By executioner, I mean of course not a faction of the Healing Church, but the guy that was delivering the death sentence to those that royal court deemed worthy of it. He is the father of Eidinghardt and Elias, passing both of his gloves down to each sibling.

Annalise - He was fearing her for the biggest part of his life, feeling as though he just 'had' to be her friend because for Maria and Elias she was important; but Annalise showed great grace, honor and self-esteem since even young age. He just never seen anything great about her and just rolled his eyes at her as at 'yeah yeah great noble princess everyone loves'. It was much later when he was able to see her determination, insanity even, her dignity and her ambitions, when he realised she was a worthy companion he was blessed to have had all along. Consuming her blood only made it worse, indeed; the awakened admiration turned into a full-on love. He knew, however, that he lost her to his sibling years ago, so for him it was the best fate to just stay by her side. Separated from Cainhurst, memory about her is just what he holds onto.

Every woman with long red hair - Sorry, but there are LARGE chances that if he sees one similar enough to Annalise, he will treat her as his princess/queen and be overly protective and overly subservient of fdsjhhfds I headcanon that he had spent a LONG ass time away from Cainhurst.

Alfred - Eidin crosses the paths with Alfred at times, not able to be detected by him to his surprise. He found strange enjoyment in trolling Alfred sometimes, though. Like, Alfred would speak of wanting to exterminate all "unholy clan" and Crow would go "ooooh, those vilebloods are very nasty people, aren't they~?" on him and just internally DIE at his reaction fhdsdsf I am yet to figure how would he feel in the scenario where Alfred finishes his quest, and Eidin learns it, though... By default, he certainly takes Alfred for an edgy looser.

Arianna - I like the idea (so far) that Arianna's mother fleed from Cainhurst with Arianna still being a little baby, so Arianna grew up in Yharnam with only very brief idea of her heritage! As result, Crow could've been the one to share more about her history as a noble with her - whereas her mother wanted to keep her safe from such a heart-breaking fate. But I just like the mental image of little Arianna clinging to the Crow as her father/mentor figure, with him really not being up to such a honor but not knowing how to turn her down, hahah; Bonus points if her mother died early and Crow failed Arianna as a caretaker, leaving her to figure out adult life and means for survival on her own, because he was too caught up in his insanity </3 Like, imagine him deciding to commit to checking on her all too late, when she, a descendant of a noble line, already became a sex worker. </3

Henriett - I feel like he'd pester Henriett a lot, challenging her all the time with the threat of harming Amelia/Emilia whom Henriett never wanted to harm unless she fell for beasthood for good. They were throwing hands quite often. As well, Eidin would enjoy watching Henriett and Alfred throw hands.

Eileen - I don't know whether it counts as 'made up' because implication is strong, but come ooooon, it IS Bloodborne! I used to think that he simply imitated Eileen's crow-themed hunter look to not attract much suspicion as hunter that hunts other hunters, but... hmmm, being her apprentice that betrayed her works waaaay better! So I think he got under her wing - when she was intending to kill him in the state of his despair, and he gave a tirade about honorable death and meaning of life that made Eileen not only realise he was not quite blood-drunk (just a bit unstable!), but also that he had a right spirit to continue her quest. She picked him up and was teaching him.... well, more like trying to teach him. He would unmistakeably detect any blood-drunk hunter anyways, with his vileblood senses. They had a problem of Eileen having nothing left that she had to teach him, until they stroke the communication issue! It was Eileen who had to teach him to be civil with the so-called 'League' and to comfort desperate hunters rather than provoking them to go 'crazier'.

Viola - I am stealing your headcanon that Crow killed Viola to provoke Gascoigne into despair - and Henryk, as a result, sorry </3 This just works so well. I headcanon that it was a strange mix of both hatred and longing; if Viola was to cheat on Gascoigne with him, he would probably risk his life protecting her. I feel like he is the type to have a very thin line between hatred and love towards someone. In the least likeable way.

Fauxsefka (Zhosfika) - he tried to strangle her at least once in order to obtain the one remaining Cainhurst summon from her, to see Cainhurst once more. Thankfully, he had enough reason to understand that another name was already written in the one she possessed, as was promised. Was a shameful decay of the relationship though, as they were friends back in Cainhurst. Crow was even willing to put aside her joining the church/Choir, thus betraying the vilebloods - he just hoped she'd at least help HIM, but alas.

9) Headcanons about their past

Crow was preparing to become the next guy to deliver the death sentence in Cainhurst's walls after his father, but discovery of hunters of blood dregs shifted his plans. He was even thankful for the change as he was not looking forward for the executioner fate- heck, he loved playing with his victims way much more than to just having to kill them and make a sad face about it!

He was one of the first guardians of the Queen of Blood that Annalise eventually became, yet also commanded to flee Cainhurst even before he had a chance to fight the Healing Church's crusaders. He did not dare to object, being told that he had more important things to do than to die for Annalise, and fleed. He mediated to her words for quite a while, and continued to seek blood dregs for her that he was not able to even gift her with the bridge being destroyed. He's been consuming them himself though (consuming blood dreg gives you +1 Insight), attempting to recreate telepathic bond with Annalise. If not to be loved by her, then at least to simply be by her side.

Some of the most important books from the Cainhurst library are missing because of him! Before Cainhurst and the rest of Yharnam picked such a large antagonism, Eidinghardt passed many books to commoners to spread the knowledge from. Loosely, it is the way how every single basic yharnamite can use blood bullets magic. Caryll would probably approve of his wish to not hoard the knowledge.

He was training his fighting skills obsessively, not being given any special powers by birth but having just his determination and spite for more gifted people to keep him going. Often, he'd hone his blood-bullets skills on animals, bringing prey back in the castle rather often. On the bright side, he has been a great help in destroying the giant maggots that would settle in blood-drunk vilebloods.

He was not a promising heir to the (Cainhurst's) executioners' line, and had to prove his worth, born initially weak and frail. In a weird way, picking unnecessary fights and conflicts has been a great help in shaping his character and physical proves from the start. The fights were the best teacher in his eyes!

10) Content about them I'd like to see more of

Please, develop something about his interactions with Annalise and/or Maria, I beg you ;-; (I say, as I am doing it myself fdhds). Him interacting with Eileen is very good, him interacting with Alfred..... well, it depends on a person, really, it is not everyone's cup of tea admittedly. But there are so many other vileblood characters! Or even hunter friends that Eileen could have introduced him to xD

Whew, it was fun! Thank you for the very varied asks!

[penelope-is-small]

DNI - RACIST, SEXIST, QUEERPHOBIC OF ANY KIND (INCLUDING TERFS AND ACEPHOBES), ANYI-SEMETIC, KINK, NSFW, PRO-ANA OR THINSPO (pro recovery ed blogs can follow and interact but i won't follow back as i'm in ed recovery), GORE

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About Me!

Name: Penelope

Pronouns: She/They

Big age: 18

Little age: 2-13

Favourite movie: Tangled, Turning Red, Hotel Transylvania, the princess diaries

Favourite TV show: Barbie dreamhouse adventures, spongebob, adventure time, wizards of waverly place, lizzie mcguire, new girl, brooklyn nine nine

Favourite little activity: Colouring, watching movies/tv, crafts, naps, baking, make up, animal crossing, stardew valley, the sims

Favourite food: Nuggies (dino or unicorn shaped is best), fruit, pancakes

Favourite animal: Cats! Or ring tailed lemurs

Favourite colour: Pink, yellow, green, blue and purple and orange

A bit about me: I'm autistic and adhd, i regress due to bad things (trauma won't be mentioned on this acc but i may reference regressing due to trauma) but i also regress for fun and to destress. I'm shy and pretty socially awkward but as long as you follow my dni feel free to message me or send asks! I can't promise i'll be any good at responding but i'll try!

me as a tot and me as a bit older (10-12)

big me

links

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tag system

🌸💕reminders - positive reminders/posts (ie: you are enough!)

🌸💕answers - asks

💕🌸core - things that represent my aesthetic

🍼💕activities - things to do when little (colouring sheets, activities, shows/movies)

🍼💕txt - original posts

🍼🌸stims - stim/moodboards

🍼🌸journal - my age regression journal

i will probably forget to tag posts often but i like the idea of organisation

[rotten-dog-teeth]

TIL: The System (mainly Will)

Will seems to like Undertale. We watched a VOD of Jack Manifold playing it with his girlfriend Eleanor, and he seemed pretty happy.

He also really wants to play Animal Crossing. Like, we've never played it before, nor ever had interest in it prior to Will wanting to play it.

Will seems to be pretty on board with the piercings, and may actually be one of the more enthusiatic about getting/having them.

He seems to enjoy our Kopfbonkf playlist. Did not expect that.

His happy stims are air biting and heart fingers. He's more cunty than we expected, as well as just generally having a better humour about him than expected, since he's rather similar to his source material all things considered.

He enjoys dancing with finger guns.

Will has decided on his favourite outfit for the body. Since he's been the most active in front for the past fews days (since just before we got sick), we've pretty much just been wearing it over everyday. It's the giant ass cream sweater with the sleeves rolled up, plus the grey pinstripe trousers (+ belt of course).

It's weird being a middle aged man in his 30s being in the body of a teenage (?) girl who looks like a prepubescent 12/13-year-old boy.

Will is 5'10", Tubbo/Boss is 5'6", Tommy is 6'1"-6'3", and Ran is yet unknown (same height as or taller than Tommy).

Ran uses she/her pronouns. Don't know if it's excusively those or if it's among others. They've not really been super active, just kinda lurking in the background. Suppose they probably use they/them too??

Will and Tommy are the most active at the front. Surprisingly, Tommy doesn't make fun of Will for being American. 🤷

Tommy and the host do, however, constantly make fun of british accents.

Hannibal likes TV Girl apparently. We don't have a Hannibal in the system, this is just Will telling us about his husband. He thinks Abigail might have introduced him to them. Or maybe he did himself, he doesn't really remember.

Will is married to Hannibal. Again, we don't have a Hannibal in our system. This is just Will's memories of himself. Hannibal likes to spoil Will. They have a surprisingly healthy relationship. They're both asexual (unsurpisingly). They fuck though? Not sure what's going on there. Hannibal also gives good hugs. Will enjoys being held by him.

Will is a werewolf. Whether he's a literal werewolf or otherkin with a werewolf kintype is yet to be determined. Not sure there's a difference in this situation since it's not his body either way?

We know pretty well what Tommy looks like.

Will likes the song "Painkillers" by Beach Bunny. Caught us off guard, we weren't expecting that, but honestly it actually kinda makes sense haha.

He really likes that one Tumblr meme of him with the post "5 ibuprofen, 2 garlic. Try my recipe boy." (Will please we're fatally allergic to ibuprofen please do not take any ibuprofen if we're in pain please-)

Will seems to be relatively on board with the whole being a witch thing.

Will seems to have something to do with childhood, mother figures, our experience with autism (meltdowns, shutdowns, (non-/hyper-)verbal, masking, etc).

He also seems to be a more confident reader than the rest of us. Thanks for that 👍.

The host is a nameless polymorph loosely based on the body. Roughly 5'3", 13/14-years-old, likes their Cavetown hoodie.

We think the host is the trauma-holder? Not sure. They seem to be stuck at 13/14 for a reason though (we think?). They've kinda stepped back from the front since starting college though. Maybe because we haven't really had much issue with reccurring trauma here (yet) - the college is pretty good, all things considered.

Will is somewhere in his 30s and Benchtrio are all roughly 16/17-years-old.

Jack Manifold might be here too? Probably not. Someone likes using his voice though - possibly the host (no voice, so it makes sense - tends to default to the body's voice, but none of us like that voice, including the host).

When the mother got us those gold earrings, it reminded Will of Hannibal spoiling him.

Been reading a fic of Hannibal where everyone knows Will and Hannibal are married, but not everyone knows they're married to eachother. Will feels like it's an accurate respresentation of him and Hannibal (and their relationship). He's enjoying reading it.

Will is very encouraging of making bad art and being more forgiving/confident with our art. Thanks Will 👍.

None of us like the body's voice. Not sure how singing lessons are gonna go because of this.

Will generally seems to enjoy our Smitten playlist quite a bit. Seems to be his kind of music.

Will also seems to be the more responsible of us. Doesn't mean he's super responsible, but he's definitely more than the rest of us, it seems. He got us to shower for the first (1st) time in two (2) weeks today - granted it was at midnight/one (1) in the morning. He also tried to get us to go to bed before 2:00. He was not successful, but he did try.

Will seems to enjoy drawing.

We would like to be on Testosterone so that we may have larger hands. We would like to be larger in generally methinks. Will is also with Tubbo/Boss on wanting to be stronger and building some muscle mass.

We are considering growing our hair and getting is cut/permed to be like Will and Tommy's hair, so that we look a little more familiar, since two (2) of us have short curly hair and one (1) has short wavy/fluffy hair, it makes the most sense. We'll probably dye it brown too - middle ground between blonde and black hair (fits Tubbo/Boss too).

Will and Hannibal are no strangers to MLP. Hannibal started it lol.

Tommy rather enjoys the iced pepsis.

Will is in the process of getting used to having a British accent. He is also trying to figure out how to get our voice to sound better (or at least for him anyways, but nobody's complaining honestly).

Think that's all for now. Anyway, it's 5:00 AM and we need to go to sleep. Poor Will was trying to get us to go to bed during the 1:00 hour lol. Night

[mojaves]

💢😨🍩🍓🌏🎁📎💧☁️💔 for luci :^) blease :^)

my god i have so much to say about him im sorry, you enabled me.

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

not exactly a habit, but he doesn't have very good volume control at the best of times. sometimes he is whispering. sometimes he is yelling. he has no way of knowing which it will be and when. you think you've got it figured out??? you havent. get used to it. and then there's the vocal stimming. he will latch onto a phrase so hard thats almost all you hear for the rest of the week. he does try to tone it down a bit, but it helps him SO much with like. regulating emotions i guess?? like he has to do it to keep his brain from exploding in one way or another. he does often find other ways to stim that don't make anywhere near as much noise, which help him in very much the same way. but sometimes he just HAS to do it. it's like trying to hold back a sneeze. it feels bad and you feel wrong afterwards. there's also his habit of very loudly going WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! occasionally. which is something he has done for SO many years at this point, ever since he was a kid. it's less of a stim thing and more of a Brain Reset thing. like things will get too much. or his brain overloads. or his body is getting Too Tense. so he just goes WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE very loudly and then he's normal again. he has fixed himself. there are times when he does it multiple times a day, and times where he doesnt even do it once. he cant let you know when it will happen. and you cant get him to stop either bc it's something he Has to do. yes it will be startling to hear at first but it's easy to get used to once you know What it is, and that he's fine actually.

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

there's no One or The Other with this, it entirely depends on the situation, current mental state, how much energy he has, etc. if he's thinking clearly, regardless of the energy he has, he will take himself out of there and get himself to calm down. with low energy it will take longer and will often need someone else there to help him settle down. otherwise, if he's not thinking clearly, or his brain has just straight up left him to his own devices, he will charge at the problem head on and try to get it to stop, which eventually turns into freeze. because he kind of realises whats happening. but doesnt have enough. whats the word. idk you known what i mean. not in touch with reality enough at that moment to like. get himself out of there. so he's just Stuck. until someone has to actively drag him out, or his brain snaps back into place for enough time.

🍩 DONUT - favourite sweet treat?

milkshakes!!!!!!! but they kill him so easily. ice cream too. he just cannot resist the temptation of a sweet pastel pink strawberry treat……… please just give him a smoothie or sorbet or something. same sort of effect but with 100% less death likely. please.

🍓 STRAWBERRY - do they eat their fruit & veg? what is their favourite fruit or vegetable?

he LOVES his fruits and veggies. mostly strawberries and mangoes,,, and potatoes and carrots. he loves strawberries so much. btw. did you know that i bet you would never have guessed that that was one of his most favourite foods of all time. AND mashed potatoes. thats the one thing that gets him through a bad sensory day/week. mashed potatoes and soup.

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

absolutely 100% without a doubt. he wants nothing more than for the people he loves to be Happy, and he will do whatever it takes to achieve that [within reason ofc, as long as it's safe to do so.] it's definitely an easy decision for him, he is an extremely caring person. it's led to him being used as an emotional doormat in the past, and he's learned from that and has finally set up boundaries for himself, but it's never stopped him from wanting to care for others, and help them in any way he can. if someone's in trouble and needs help, he will drop whatever he's doing, whether it's making food, working etc, and go to them as fast as he possibly can.

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

he's happy with literally anything and everything. you can buy him a spatula and he would be excited about it. and thats not even putting on a front he just knows that someone put some thought into it, whether it was as a joke or a genuine gift, and appreciates it regardless. the best thing you could get for him though is books full of facts and trivia about absolutely nothing in particular. he is very good at gift giving bc he puts SO much thought into it. it might not make much sense when you first look at it, but you'll eventually realise that you really did need whatever he got for you, actually. it's always something Useful that you will keep with you for years. he's thoughtful like that [:

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

HMMMMMMMMMMMM. he always wanted to be a teacher,,, never really had a subject in mind, but probably history. unfortunately thanks to So many external circumstances, he never got to do that. he works as a security guard now currently, but eventually starts working as a tutor for various subjects, as well as a music teacher on the side. and he has Never been happier. he loves helping people learn new things

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

youre killing me here thank you. he is often very insecure about how other people perceive him bc he can be seen as Very childish with the stimming, and his generally very excited and bouncy vibe that he has around him at all times. he Is very mature, and more than capable of dealing with serious and dark topics, but often worries people will just overlook that, and hide things from him bc of it. he's far more emotionally intelligent than people give him credit for. they just need to give him a chance.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

when he's happy. like. Really happy. he will start vibrating and his whole face scrunches up and he just NEEDS to hug someone about it. anyone. Generally it's the person who made him get that happy in the first place [and even then 9 times out of 10 it's his boyfriend] otherwise, he will simply hug a plushie or a cushion, whatevers closest to him. he Will also go WEEEEEEEEEEEEE about it but in a good way. he's very excited [:

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

talk bad about themselves, claim that theyre not deserving of all the good things that are happening to them, etc, etc. because he KNOWS they are more than deserving of it. and he will tell them that. as often as he has to in order to prevent them from spiralling. he just wants everyone around him to know how loved and wonderful they are to him, and he never gets sick of telling them that. he HATES seeing people upset, especially his boyfriend. even so much as just crying will break his heart. it makes him so sad!!! HE JUST WANTS EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!!! AND FEEL GOOD!!!! and he cant always control that or get there in time to prevent it. and it hurts!!! it hurts so much. but he can still try!!! AND THATS WHAT MATTERS!!!