#ALL SYSTEMS FREAK THE FUCK OUT
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sunflowerrboyy ¡ 1 year ago
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today i learned anxiety and allergy attack dont mix
#never eating gummy apple rings again#drove to the lake to go swimming and coming back stopped at the little general store for a snack#chose apple rings bc they taste AMAZING and drove back home#had a few (3 or 4) while driving and started making cookies when i came back#bc i had an invite to some neighbors' dinner and i wanted to bring something#so i was already anxious about that and thought that a swim would tire me out and id be less anxious#the first batch of cookies (lemon sugar) are in the oven when i feel a familiar tingling in my tongue#i go OH SHIT and grab my benadryl that i keep on me#and pray to the lord that i caught the allergy attack quick enough and it would diminish in about 20 min#WRONG#ALL SYSTEMS FREAK THE FUCK OUT#I HAVE 3 MINS LEFT WITH COOKIES IN THE OVEN#IM ABOUT TO PASS OUT ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR (EVEN SITTING DOWN)#MY MIND IS THINKING AT LEAST I CAN BREATHE I CAN STILL BREATHE#BC THE GD HOSPITAL IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#EVERYTHING HURTS LIKE HELL#THINK LIKE BASIC ALLERGY ATTACK AND ADD PERIOD CRAMPS TO IT AND YOU'VE ALSO BEEN STUNG BY A THOUSAND BEES#SO I SOMEHOW MUSTER THE STRENGTH TO TAKE THE COOKIES OUT OF THE OVEN SO THEY DIDN'T BURN TURN THE OVEN OFF AND STUMBLE TO MY ROOM#I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DIE#SO NOW MY THOUGHTS ARE OH GOD NOT HERE NOT THIS WAY I DONT WANT TO DIE FROM STUPID APPLE RINGS#tw emetophobia#AND EVERYTHING JUST COMES UP#IT'S AWFUL#IM LAYING ON THE COLD TILE OF THE BATHROOM WHILE MY WHOLE BODY DECIDES ✨FEVER TIME✨#STILL CAN'T MOVE BC EVERYTHING IS CRAMPING#I LAID THERE FOR PROBABLY 15 MINS#CRAWLED TO GET MY HEATING PAD AND SOME IBUPROFEN (A MIRACLE COMBO)#AND SLEPT FOR AN HOUR AND IT ALL FINALLY WENT AWAY#I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK 😭😭😭😭#irl
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baby-girl-aaron-dessner ¡ 2 months ago
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This captures it. Chappell Roan is rightfully disillusioned by the two-party system.
Here are some of the correct responses to her (justified) criticism of the U.S. government.
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oceanmojis ¡ 1 month ago
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hey so not really the post i normally want to make, but i'm opening up some of my normal art commissions on here.
my dream oc has come up for sale and the person offered to put them on hold for me to see if i could get the money up by the end of the week.
chibis: $30 custom design: $60 (prices are haggle-able, PLEASE haggle if you cant afford them i literally am on a time limit here lol)
images are all examples of chibi designs i've done within the past month!
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mars-ipan ¡ 6 months ago
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nagito komaeda and his scary ass dog
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nectardaddy ¡ 3 days ago
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I feel like I may take the break from school I have to just... not do anything. my brain has barely worked for me to write anything the past few days, and what I do write just seems meh
I'll still be here. still be lurking and talking but don't expect much (or any) writing soon
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poolboyservice ¡ 6 months ago
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ygs do know that the host of a system also counts as an alter, right?
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corset ¡ 7 months ago
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Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible
#I can't even describe it#Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right#I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time#I'm a system so that tells you a lot already#Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes#It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about#Let me try though#Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels#of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to#different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the#time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe#It's like trying to climb a slippery incline#I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too#Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been#negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface#We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like#[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us#for the right things.]
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cavityinmybrain ¡ 2 months ago
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the disordered system experience of having a part having a fullblown meltdown/flashback combo in the brain while having a different part handling the check in for our dr appointment and theyre both getting overstimulated from the other
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ai-the-broccoli ¡ 14 days ago
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aaghh I hate health anxiety ocd (or whatever you call it), it's literally doing nothing other than contributing to make my health worse
... wait actually, does anyone have like, tips/advice for that kind of thing? I really think I need some help with this one
#i (ai)#ocd#vent cw#I also have like severe decision paralysis + procrastination issues so that's great#like. being so scared that i have to choose for something to eat that is nutritious&healthy AND affordable AND eatable#that i delay my eating by many hours every other day (+ combined with many other reasons like general awful schedule)#is not in fact the amazing health plan my instincts apparently think it is for some baffling reason. fucking hell#I consistently have all sorts of digestive system issues and I'm plenty underweight. tbh my adhd meds prob also dont help with this part#....on that note I have severe anxiety with spending money (which I have very little of) too. lmao. just great#during the lockdown years my contamination ocd spiked very badly and it still hadn't fully recovered now#and it was/is really godawful harmful for my physical and mental health alike. like this was worse before but even now it really screws wit#my hydration habits. also its always my top consideration/anxiety to think about 'god would the toilet hygiene be bad'#whenever theres any option for me to go anywhere. so I avoided nearly every possible activity/event/social event I could avoid#that require leaving home for half a day or more. and I freak out badly whenever anyone comes to our home to visit for fear of contaminatio#some family friends used to send kids over to our place for dinner montly-ish & that was always my worst anxiety source for the month#I always dreaded the night terribly and it was awful experience. urgh.#gdi I wish I had less types of ocds like why am I cursed with so many annoying things at once lmao#...anyway ugh. i hate how my parents is about me getting sick/ill/any sort of pains etc. always jump to blame me at once#now I don't even want to tell them about it but I have to and they'll often force me to do chores as usual and/or never stop talking about#how it's so totally my fault for having awful schedules and bad habits etc that I'm sick & that I'm making excuses or whatever the fuck#that i'm an adult its my responsibility etc etc#anyway sorry and thank you if you've read this far lmao
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tothesolarium ¡ 11 months ago
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Two moods
1) queer queer queer
2) BIG METAL PROTECT TINY THING
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cheapcheapfaker ¡ 1 year ago
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On one hand i would like to have a large baby. my family and gilgamesh’s come from a long line of beefy, nine pound plus chunkers. I was 9 and something lbs with a full head of hair and almost a week late. I want that baby fully cooked and maybe a little overdone. tons of studies not just anecdotal show that they just seem sort of… nicer and easier to deal with, like the biggest of the litter. they sleep more. they dont struggle in general as much and they gain weight easily and they also move a little slower. not saying they dont hit milestones but a fat ass baby will stay in its potted plant lump stage a little while longer before jumping into the running around sticking fingers in outlets stage.
on the other hand, i am so so concerned for the sanctity of my gooch. a nine pound baby will tear my grundle asunder. my taint to shreds.
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aropride ¡ 1 year ago
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every day i leave my room and i go to the dining hall or the lobby or whatever and i’m being so brave and like yeah it’s for me so i don’t go fucking crazy in my room alone again but it’s also bc i hope every time they see me it reminds them what they did. i hope they feel like a tenth of the shame i live with constantly when they see me. like. fucking look at me. i’m still here. you can’t hide from what you did any more than you can hide from the dining hall. and i hope someday they’re more ashamed than i am
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fooligandan ¡ 5 months ago
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encountered an awesome new grocery store feature today (sorry, yesterday. haven't slept yet so it's not tomorrow), overhead camera in the self checkout and looks for if stuff is still in your cart. LOVE this (gritted teeth, grimace)
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the-stove-is-divorced ¡ 1 year ago
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i wish apple updates, ANY UPDATES, that change one small thing in the worst way possible while giving you no option to take it back, already having taken my info, my data, my privacy, now demanding what little joy and dignity I have left, a very much i hope you perish with fire on your skin and water in your lungs with the knowledge no one will ever love you and no one has.
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speedydestinydream ¡ 2 years ago
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Tmf isnt very accurate in many ways but I like to think that one of the main accurate things rosy nailed was the fact that the jomies have been bullies for years and still haven't been (onscreen) punished and not even stopped. You'd think that after middle school to junior year of highschool the school would notice and stop them for good, but guess what! Nope!
#very accurate to the real school system#btw this isnt a serious or deep post about the shitty school system#im just making fun of it in both tmf and irl#tmf#the music freaks#the music freaks rosyclozy#tmf rosyclozy#oh and what i meant by the statement that tmf isnt very accurate is that like#i doubt that jake could be forgiven in a single month by drew and hailey#let alone fall in love with hailey while still trying to work out their friendship issues and friendship in general#and vice versa#and also them switching up the club mysic preformance plans last second#i feel like if milly really got into a lot of fights the school would probably just take her out of the music club already#and like (not a nitpick but something else) how the hell did henry and liam climb up to the bully rank??? theyre so fucking goofy#(in a good way) but they dont feel like serious bullies or they arent on the same level as drew#the rest of the music club knew about hailey and zanders bullies (im pretty sure) so why didnt they know about jake??? he literally was#with them all the time and was very persistent in.. idk being an asshole#theres a lot of plotholes in tmf and i could sit here and ramble and rant about them all i want but i wont cause that would be stupid#i still adore the series for what it has and is#plus sometimes you can fill in certain plotholes for yourself to make the story more enjoyable in your point of view#idk idk man i like rambling about tmf A LOT.#this is way too many tags#oops#EDIT: SORRY SORRY i meant i doubt jake could be forgiven in a single month by zander and hailey#*music#goddamned typos
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set-wingedwarrior ¡ 11 months ago
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Fandom became so unsufferable, thanks for turning my favorite hobby and comfortable space into a fucking minefield!
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