#ADHD DO THE THE THING
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me, a writer: I should write.
my high, my adhd, and my low potassium: but you wanna lay here and eat that burger in bed dont you, sexy 😏
me: cant i do both????????CANT I DOBOTH
#girls who smoke weed#weed thoughts#munchies#Vaniloqu3nce#ao3 writer#i wanna finish this next request so bad#I WANNA WRITE#ADHD DO THE THE THING#DO THE FOCUS THING#STOP FUCKING AROUND#DO THE THING#adhd paralysis#i hate my brain#i am also physically incapable of doing two things at once unless its parenting and cooking and even then i struggle#the kids LOVEEEEE to talk to me while i cook#but its always dumb shit like#im hungry#is the food done#do you know what cuphead is#who would win in a fight goku or superman#YOU LITTLE CROTCH GOBLIN IM MAKING FOOD#IM LITERALLY AT THE STOVE#IM RIGHT HERE#WHAT DO YOU THINK IM DOING#THE FOOD WILL BE DONE WHEN I CALL YOU#obviously i dont yell that i just say what does it look like im doing and they give me some dumb answer i want to suplex them for like#uhhh I DUNNO :D#that nine year old is so lucky he’s nine and adorable and i love him#because if he was a grown man we’d have to fight in that kitchen bruh#aint no way im cooking you lunch in your face and you are pestering me about how hungry you are like i dont FEEEED you every day.
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[guy who doesnt watch shows voice] yeah ive been meaning to watch that show
#spitblaze says things#i mean i do. but my issue is that i play/watch/read things at a snails pace#and have a bad habit of starting something and never finishing it#so i end up limiting myself#also also adhd doesnt like it when i have to give one thing my undivided attention if its not taking up as much processing power#as something like a video game#doin numbers
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I feel like there are a lot of people out there who needs to hear this:
If you dropped out of school because of diagnosed (or undiagnosed) ADHD, Autism, ADD, OCD, Dyslexia, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar disorder, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia etc… You did not fail. The education system failed you.
#neurodiverse stuff#i cannot say this enough#neurodivergent#actually adhd#adhd problems#autism#just autistic things#actually autistic#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#actually disabled#depressing shit#this gave me more emotional damage than my dad#i am going to rant#i am going insane#dropping out#school problems#send help#you can do this#you cannot convince me otherwise#you can't change my mind#you can do it#i believe in you#i believe in their healing powers#i believe in myself#academic assignments#assignmentwriting#assignment help#in this essay i will
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The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!
Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!
Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???
Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!
—
Steph: Cass and I are adopting…
Bruce: Holy shit, actually???
Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt
Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.
Steph: Too young…?
Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?
Cass: Too young for an iguana?
—
Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.
Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?
Damian: This is my second kid, duh
Bruce: Are you talking about goats?
Damian: Of course I am father
—
Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!
Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant
Tim:
Bruce: Is it a dog?
Tim: No it’s a tiger
—
Jason: I have something to tell you
Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?
Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter
Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her
Jason: What the hell are you talking about?
Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????
Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian
Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!
Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?
#this has been sitting in my drafts for months now all because i didnt want to tag it#my adhd kicked in#i wrote it all in one go then decided i had better things to do than tags#then i reread it multiple times and decided therr are better things to do than tags#but its just so silly so im manning up and doing it!#here are my awful half alseep tags#that was it#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#roy harper#damian wayne#tim drake#dick grayson#lian nguyen harper#jason is lians dad obviously#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#stephcass#dc comics#dcu#dc#batkids#man i love batman
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something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.
#something about kristen's adhd making her fuck things up and being mad at herself and that manifesting#as her deity being overcome with rage#something about fear and anger and shame and the inability to do better even when you're trying so hard#and something about people loving you anyway#something about 'your anger isnt scary to me'#as someone who had undiagnosed pcos in early high school and got so fucking MAD#something about adhd and how you're always failing and you have no one to blame but yourself#and how heart breaking it is to watch your life fall apart around you KNOWING you could do something#but being unable to do it right. always forgetting always slipping up#and how mad that makes you. at yourself.#this fight is so much#fhjy#d20#dimension 20#fantasy high
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I should be doing homework but instead...
(idek if this is popular anymore, I just need motivation tbh)
1 note and I'll go take a shower
25 notes and I'll get off Tumblr and finish my homework.
50 notes and I'll put away my laundry
100 notes and I'll fix my sleep schedule
150 notes and I'll start eating breakfast before school for the rest of the school year
200 notes and I'll tell my parents what I want for my birthday
250 notes and I'll start handing out my resume/applying to jobs [did not get hired anywhere, and I'm gone most of the summer anyways]
300 notes and I'll start running 1 mile every week
350 notes and I'll finish/publish a wip [trans Stephen fic, the public has determined]
400 notes and I'll finish the next chapter of BtSA [posted here]
450 notes and I'll spend 10 minutes a day working on my novel (;-;)
500 notes and I answer my emails
550 notes and I get a pixie cut (I've been wanting a shorter cut for months) [LOOK HERE]
600 notes and I'll fix my Doctor Strange cosplay (and post pictures) [new magnets came, once I fix it, me and my friend are going to do a photo shoot]
(1000 notes and I'll come out as genderfluid to my therapist, despite how terrifying it is)
(1500 notes and I'll come out to my favorite teacher OR my ally YW leader)
(if, for some reason, and probably with divine intervention, we hit 20,000 notes..... I may consider coming out to my parents and/or my ward friends.)
#notes game#I just need motivation#coming out#genderfluid#homework#eating breakfast#I need to do things#but the executive dysfunction is strong#ADHD#cosplay#doctor stephen strange#Stephen Strange cosplay
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Not me getting secondhand anxiety looking at the absolute chaos of this hypothetical discord user’s life based on these messages-
This person is apparently
• Travelling internationally likely very soon
• Currently having homework for an active biology class
• At least somewhat present in the moderation of a server
• Actively involved in competitive sports
• Has an engagement or event currently planned (that is understandably being ignored)
Maybe I’m lazy or something but this is enough to make me curl up and die
#random#thinky thoughts#discord#seriously this person is doing more in an afternoon than I get done in a month#sorry I’m an indoor cat#adhd is a bitch#I’m gonna go get exhausted thinking about these things
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i lost my tablet pen and drew this on ms paint with my mouse my wrist is in agony holy fuck
#homestuck#bro strider#dave strider#strider bros#dirk strider#even the fake youtube thumbnail was edited by me jesus christ why did i do that#this joke is really stupid but#shitty humor is still fun humor#ms paint#ms paint adventures#hell yeah#a little bit pissed my adhd picked homestuck of all things to fixate on but like#if it makes content it makes content what can i say
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"ok but are you diagnosed" what are you a cop.
#reminder that being diagnosed as autistic/ otherwise disabled is meant to help YOU.#if abled ppl expect u to justify every little thing u say abt ur experiences as (insert disability) they should explode#also if you dont wanna get officially diagnosed bc it will make your life harder no one will judge you. if they do theyre assholes#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#autism#autistic#autism pride#adhd#actually adhd#actuallyadhd#only tagging this as adhd and autism bc its all I am. however this can be about Literally any disability
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lately i've been drinking orange juice and eating fruit and going outside in the sun and coincidentally 10-20% of my depression has vanished. must be witchcraft
#ramble#thank you to everyone who eased my smoothie anxiety#idk how i didn't realise it was bs sooner it makes NO sense#yes doing all the Health Things like getting nutrients and drinking water doesn't fix the way my adhd brain is wired#it does help though
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I don't think a lot of people realize that lot of their advice to disabled people often boils down to "Get over it." they are trying to be helpful but their idea of helpful is "Just do the thing" because that's what they do. for them they just do things. It comes naturally to just do it.
They don't know how to bridge the gap between you and the task. For them the bridge is already pre-built and stable. For disabled people the bridge is run down, not well kept, it feels unsteady and is hard to get across without being slow and cautious - hell for some people there is no bridge and we need to build it ourselves but we don't have the bridge building tools and no one gives them to us.
"Just cross the bridge." They say before walking over their pre-built bridge. They never gave you the tools to build a bridge to cross.
#text#I hope this makes sense#disabled#neurodivergent#adhd#actually adhd#actuallyadhd#idk how to tag this post really i dont post a lot in disabled spaces...#by disability i mean all disabilities btw#i suffer from ADHD and chronic pain ad many other things#and all of them cause me problems that make it hard to 'just do it'#so hearing 'advice' that is just 'do the thing you're struggle to do' really gets on my nerves#especially when the people giving that 'advice' throw a hissy fit when i say that its unhelpful
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fiber arts really is such an insane category of Things in how it can draw you in. like, 6 or 7 years ago i learnt to crochet and made a few terrible hats and scarves. then i learnt to knit because i wanted to knit a scarf for my friend (now fiance :D). then i realized it should be a woven scarf so i picked up weaving instead, but i still really liked knitting so now i was doing 3 crafts. somewhere along the way i started dyeing yarn as part of my kitchen experiments, and then i was like fuck it i wanna make my own yarn ! and that is where the problems happened. in the span of like 5 years ive acquired like $2000 of various tools (spinning wheel, combs, cards, blending board, several looms, etc), bought dozens of fleeces, and now my bedroom is basically a craft room with a bed, i have wool covering every flat surface in there as well as a huge dresser full of wool and several large drawers full of wool, i meticulously scrape every last bit of avocado out of the peel so i can use it to dye fleece, and i don’t go anywhere (including in my own house) without at least 2 knitting projects and a spindle.
im not complaining or anything, but the rapid shift from ‘guy who does stuff, idk’ to ‘guy who is worryingly obsessed with wool and will infodump at length about medieval sheep husbandry and the history of nettle as a textile if you give him half a chance’ is like. extremely funny to me.
#this is what happens if you mix adhd autism and wool i think#its got the Textures. its got the stimmy movements. its got the Things To Do Idly With My Hands So I Don't Start Dislocating My Thumbs#like. its crazy#sorry the edible hit like halfway thru writing this#idk where i was going with it xD#spinning#and yes ives youre to blame for 90% of this i think#<3
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Pathetic, isn't it? To be spending my night crying after you as if you care. Lmfaoo!!
#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#actually borderline#bpd brain#bpd triggers#bpd safe#born to die#fucked up#actually adhd#adhd things#adhd brain#adhd problems#adhd#i can really use dying tonight#i cant do this#i cant do it anymore#3am things#3 am ramblings#3am thoughts#tw 3d vent#vent post#why the fuck am i alive?
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Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.
Breathes in.
I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."
We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.
We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.
By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.
The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.
There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.
I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.
#rarijack#i refuse to be embarrased by how much i know about this damn pony show#this is part of the reason why i never bought into appledash unfortunately. their values aren't aligned#rd lies a lot and often for very self serving reasons#and she distances herself from her family because they're. cringe? overbearing? her parents are very loving and supportive#meanwhile aj's. whole fucking thing. is honesty and family#ask me#anon#this is why it's still a little baffling they aren't canon#we got SO much real development with so much potential subtext#and it never really crossed the finish line#i dunno every time they do something to show they care i'm reminded of myself and my partner too#whenever i see something that's inconvenient or complicated or against my personality (adhd haver) but i know it'd make my#boyfriend happy. i do it anyways. and i always think to myself “wow. that's what love is. that's what it feels like”
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link to the song on youtube as well!
this is a SPOILER HEAVY griddlehark comic esp for the first two books!!! suffer at your own discretion :^)
I said I missed lyric comics so here I am!! naturally I found a depressing song so enjoy!
#art tag#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#gideon the ninth#yippieeeeee! I know there's some mistakes there but I don't wanna work on this anymore#the adhd says find another thing to do now#gtn
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