#A Million LIttle Choices
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Bookish Travels---December 2023 Destinations
I saw this meme on Itâs All About Books and thought, I like this!! So, I decided to do it once a month also. Many thanks to Yvonne for initially posting this!! This post is what it says: Places I travel to in books each month. Books are lovely and take you to places you would never get to. That includes places of fantasy, too!! Bon Voyage!! Please let me know if you have read these books orâŠ
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#A Dark and Drowning Tide#A Million LIttle Choices#Ahmedabad#Albe#Alison Rose Greenberg#Allison Saft#Ann Hunter#Atlanta#Banni#Barcelona#Bath#Bhuj#Bookish Travels#Boston#Bristol#Brunnestaad#California#Camelot#Capitol#Chicago#Colorado#Cornwall#Cumbria#Danielle Steel#December 2023 Destinations#Denver#E. Denise Billups#Earth 2#Ebul#Echoes of Ballard House
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new year's eve
A/gathario ft. sick A/gatha being too stubborn for her own good. 8.7k words (đ) There WILL be a part 2 to this at some point, but given how long this took it might be a minute lol.
All of this was inspired by @flutterytickles's tags on this post about the idea of a professor AU and a New Year's Eve party, and when I say I took that and ran with it...đł
I am MORE than happy to yap about this AU forever, but really all you need to know for this is that everyone's teaching at a small, liberal arts college in Boston. A/gatha was hired as an English professor, but now mostly teaches American history through literature and print culture. R/io studied environmental science with a focus in botany and also poetry in school, and she took a pay cut specifically to teach at a school that would let her do both. Other than that, I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!! <3
Please don't reblog to non-kink blogs! Minors DNI.
âSo itâs not going to be a party,â Rio said. âAt least not according to Lilia. But Alice and Jen will be there, and a few other faculty members and some of Liliaâs grad students, and Alice assured me there will be good food, lots of drinks, and probably karaoke if they can find a way to hook it up to Liliaâs TV. Sounds like itâll be a good time.â
âHmm,â Agatha hummed. Rio had her on speakerphone on her desk while she was tidying up her office, using the time that barely anyone was on campus to prep for the spring semester without anyone commenting on how many empty energy drink cans she was hauling out to the recycling bin.
âWell you know how I feel about karaoke,â Agatha said. Rio thought she heard the sound of her clearing her throat, but she chalked it up to static on the line. âBut is Lilia actually inviting me or is this you asking me to come with you?â
âBoth,â Rio said. âLilia doesnât have your number and she figured you wouldnât be checking your work email over the holidays, so she asked me to ask you. And I would like it if you came with me.â Rio paused. âYou know, if you want to.â
There was another little burst of noise on the lineâthis time it almost sounded like a sniffleâbefore Agatha spoke again.
âWell, I promised Nicky Iâd take him to the parade and the fireworks at the Common tomorrow, but thatâll be over and done by eight.â Agatha paused and this time Rio was sure she heard a sniffle. âLet me talk to the kid next door, see if he can sit in after I put Nicky down and IâllâŠâ
Agatha trailed off, and Rio frowned.
âYouâllâŠ?â
âHh-hold on, I n-needââ
Rio could hear Agathaâs breath stutter, and then before she could even process what was happening, she heard what sounded like a poorly-stifled sneeze from a distance like Agatha was holding the phone away from her face.
âBless you?â Rio still wasnât a hundred percent sure she was hearing things right, but she still spoke loud enough for Agatha to hear andâshe assumedâroll her eyes at. What she wasnât expecting, though, was Agathaâs shaky voice when she brought the phone back.
âD-donât,â she started. âIâm notâŠn-nahâŠnotâŠhhehâEHTtschu!â
That was definitely, for sure a sneeze that time, and though Rio couldnât see it, she could tell by the involuntary little groan that followed that Agatha wasnât happy about it. Whether it was about sneezing in general or about Rio acknowledging it with another, more enthusiastic âBless you!â was anyoneâs guess.
âUgh, sorry,â Agatha said after collecting herself again. âYou were saying?â
âI think you were saying something about getting a babysitter? But, if youâre not feeling well we donât have toââ
âIâm fine,â Agatha said firmly. âItâs just some gunk Nicky picked up somewhere. Itâs probably just one of those twenty-four hour things, Iâm sure Iâll be fine tomorrow.â
Rio was pretty sure that wasnât how colds worked, but Agathaâs tone told her the topic was not up for discussion, and Rio didnât feel like pressing the issue would be helpful. This was Agatha, after all.
Last spring when theyâd first gotten paired up to teach an interdisciplinary studies course on floral symbolism in classic American literature and poetry, Agatha had neglected to inform Rio that she was horribly allergic to about half the flowers theyâd be talking about, so Rio hadnât thought twice about showing up to the very first class with a fresh arrangement of native wildflowers to sit on the podium between them as they took turns going over the syllabus.
Agatha had done an admirable job downplaying her reaction for most of the hour-long class, only stifling the occasional sneeze into near-silence over her shoulder, but the second class was dismissed, sheâd dissolved into the single most dramatic, drawn-out fit Rio had ever seen, blushing furiously the whole time and still insisting she was fine when she could gather enough breath to speak.
Rio had run up to her own office to grab her own bottle of Zyrtec, sure the whole time that this was going to get the whole class cancelled, and her partnership with Agatha would be over before it had even properly begun. With the meds in her system, though, Agatha had pulled herself together shockingly quickly to teach her afternoon class, and to Rioâs surprise, not only did their joint class proceed as planned (after a serious, Rio-initiated discussion of what parts of the syllabus Agatha was and wasnât allergic toâwhich Agatha was also blushing furiously throughâand an Agatha-initiated tacit threat to never speak of the incident again), but Agatha had been grateful enough for Rioâs help to offer to repay the favor by taking her out to dinner.
One thing led to another, and now, nearly a year later, they were dating, all because Agatha was enough of a stubborn bitch about her allergies to not keep antihistamines on her.
Rio had never actually seen Agatha sick before, but she assumed she probably wouldnât handle that much better.
âHh-ITSchu!â
Another sneeze from Agatha drew Rio from her thoughts.
âBleââ
âNot yet, IâŠheâETshiu! Ugh, fuck.â
âSalud,â Rio said.
âShut up,â Agatha grumbled. âIâm fine. Just let me talk to the kid next door. I would never say this to his face, but heâs a total loser, thereâs no way heâs got plans. I gotta check if Hanukkah changes anything, but Iâll text you when I know?â
âSounds good. Love you, and get some rest!â
She could practically hear Agatha roll her eyes before she shot back a, âLove you too,â and ended the call.
Not half an hour later, Rioâs phone lit up with a text from Agatha.
Teenâs free to babysit. Pick me up at 9?
Itâs a date, she replied.
~**~
Agatha was already waiting on the front steps when Rioâs overpriced Uber pulled up in front of the elegant Beacon Hill brownstone. Her hair was down, falling in loose waves over her shoulders, and she was wearing lipstickÂ, which wasnât unheard of, but the deep raspberry red shade of it made something in Rioâs brain short out, and suddenly her only thought was about how badly she wanted to fuck it up at midnight.
As she drew closer, though, she realized that the lipstick was a distractionâand a damn good one at thatâfrom the subtle little signs of illness on the rest of her face. Her makeup was impeccable, but up close, Rio could see the shadows of dark circles under her eyes, the barely-there pinkish tint at the tip of her nose, the subtle crease in her foundation that showed just how often she'd beenâ
Right on cue, Agatha scrunched up her nose with a small sniffle, and judging by the way her hands twitched at her sides, she was really fighting the urge not to rub it. Rio would never say it out loud, but she was pretty sure it was one of the cutest things sheâd ever seen.
âHey,â she said.
âHey, yourself,â Agatha said. Those raspberry lips twitched upwards, as Rio wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Her skin felt a little warm for someone outside in the middle of winter. Rio couldnât be confident it was high enough to be a fever, but she filed the thought away for later.
âSoâŠ,â Rio started as she pulled out her phone to look up Liliaâs address. âHow were the fireworks?â
Agatha sighed heavily. âWe didnât end up staying. Nicky didnât sleep well last night, which meant I didnât sleep well last night, and we only made it halfway through the parade before he decided he wanted to go home.â Agatha sniffled and scrunched up her nose again. âPoor kid was practically falling asleep on his dino nuggets. I put him to bed and hhâhe was out like a li-ihhÂ-light.â
The slight hitch of her breath drew Rioâs gaze upwards, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Agatha scratching the bottom of her nose with her thumbnail.
âOh poor thing,â Rio said, definitely not talking about Agatha; that would be ridiculous. âAnd how are you feeling? You sure youâre up for a wild party?â
Agatha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. âI think I can hiih-handle whatever Liliaâs got planned.â
âYou sure?â Rio lowered her phone and met Agathaâs eyes. âBecause we can just stay in, especially if you didnât get much sleep last night. I hear theyâre letting Andy and Anderson drink on CNN again this year, and we could do those Lego flowers from Christmas and just take it easy.â
Yeah, Rio thought to herself; that was a safe angle to approach it from. Asking outright if she was under the weather was a surefire way to get her to dig her heels in deeper, and while Rio was pretty sure that was going to happen anyway, she wanted to make sure Agatha knew she had an out if she wanted it.
As Rio had predicted though, Agatha shook her head.
âNo,â she said. âIâm fine. I already missed the baby fireworks, and I donât even remember the last time I got to go out for New Yearâs, so Iâm not missing this.â She punctuated her statement by audibly clearing her throat, and she glared at Rio for noticing. âAnd I feel fine,â she snapped. âStop looking at me like that.â
âOk,â Rio raised one hand in a mock surrender. âIn that case, it looks like we have a choice between a pretty straightforward thirty minute walk, or we can take an Uber thatâll shave a whole five minutes off that time forâŠâ she refreshed her app and her eyes widened in shock as she wordlessly showed Agatha the inflated price on the screen. âSuddenly Iâm thinking itâs a great night for a walk. What about you?â
When she didnât get an answer right away, Rio glanced up from her phone and took in the dazed look that had settled over Agathaâs features, the way those raspberry lips parted, one hand hovering in front of her mouth as her she scrunched up her nose once more in vain beforeââhiETâSHhiewââITSHhyu!â She aimed both sneezes into her elbow at the last second and then sniffled wetly as she rummaged around in her purse forâŠwho the fuck still carried handkerchiefs in the twenty-first century?
âBless you, bless you,â Rio said lightly, as Agatha blew her nose once, dabbing lightly at her nostrils to keep from completely destroying her foundation. Rio couldnât help but notice that once she was done, she shoved the handkerchief in her pocket instead of putting it back in her purse.
 âThanks,â Agatha muttered. âHow long did you say the walk was?â
âGoogle says thirty minutes.â
Agatha gave a haughty sniff as she tossed her hair over her shoulder. âCloser to twenty if you walk like you live here,â she said. âI vote we do that.â
There was a part of Rio that thought about protesting further, but she knew it wouldnât do any good, and besides that, Agatha was a grown woman who could listen to her own body. If she wanted to push herself for the sake of a stupid work party then who was Rio to stop her? And also, Rio selfishly really did want to mess up that lipstick against a backdrop of fireworks.
âAlright,â she sighed. âIn that case, vamanos.â
With a swish of her long coat, Agatha set off down the block at such a pace that Rio had to jog to catch up.
~**~
Lilia lived on the top floor of a refurbished tenement building in the North End that was all decorative brick work and copper patina on the outside, with an interior that looked authentically pre-war. Which war exactly was anyoneâs guess, but Rio was putting money on Civil.
The chilly night air had made both of their noses run, and they paused in front of the elevator to collect themselves. Rio pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her hand and swiped briefly at her nose. Agatha, on the other hand, took a bit longer to recover.
Sheâd been mostly alright on the walk over as far as Rio could tellâthe fresh air really had seemed to be a good moveâbut now that they were back inside the dry heat of the building, it was clearly taking Agatha a second to gather herself. She had her handkerchief out and was running it on one finger under her eyes and around her nostrils, but her nose, it seemed had other ideas.
Her breath hitched once, twice, and she tipped her head back, her mouth just open enough that Rio could see she was pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth to try to hold it back. It wasnât enough, though, and Agatha let out a particularly vocal gasp right before she pitched forward with an itchy-sounding âhiihâIIShu!â
âBless you,â Rio said.
âUgh, thanks,â Agatha grumbled. âMust be the temperature change. Iâm fine.â
She at least had the decency to flush as Rio eyed her skeptically, but before Rio could say anything else, Agatha was slipping the handkerchief back in her pocket, sliding open the metal grille in front of the elevator, and waving Rio inside.
âCan you just promise me something?â Rio asked as the elevator groaned and shuddered its way upwards. Agatha didnât say anything, but she side-eyed Rio curiously. Rio took a deep breath and flexed her fingers at her sides as she said, âPromise me if you reach a point where you want to leave tonight for any reason youâll tell me?â
âIâmââ
âI know youâre fine,â Rio said. âAnd Iâll let you be the judge of your own body. Iâm just telling you that if you want an out youâve got one, no questions asked.â
Agatha considered her words for a moment. Her lips were pressed in a thin line as she ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then she sighed.
âAlright,â she said quietly. âThank you.â
âAny time.â
The elevator jolted to a stop and they stepped out into a long hallway. There was music and laughter and a scent that Rio could only identify as âmiscellaneous party foodâ wafting from their left.
âIâm gonna take a wild guess that Liliaâs that way,â she said. She glanced over at Agatha who just tossed her hair over her shoulder, cleared her throat, and sniffed once more before nodding in the direction of the sound.
âShall we?â
Rio hesitated for just a moment, captivated by the way Agathaâs mask slid so smoothly into place. She had hardly realized just how much she got to see when they were alone until suddenly she was faced with the Agatha that was ready to actually walk into the party.
The little signs were still there: the way that her foundation was starting to separate and smudge around the tip of her nose, the way her lips parted ever so slightly so that she could breathe without the air catching audibly on the building congestion in her sinuses. Â It was an impressive performance. Frankly if Rio hadnât seen evidence to the contrary, she might have even believed Agathaâs little act.
Of course, the fact that she had gotten to see that evidence to the contrary at allâeven if Agatha was denying it the whole timeâwas also not lost on Rio. It made her stupid, lovesick heart flutter in her chest just realizing that Agatha trusted her that much. It was also mildly annoying knowing that it would be that much harder to tell if Agatha reached her limit tonight, but theyâd cross that bridge when they came to it.
She must have lingered a bit too long, though, because Agatha noticed she wasnât following and raised an eyebrow at her.
âAre you okay?â she asked, looking pointedly at Rioâs hands.
Rio hadnât even noticed that she was fluttering her fingers at her sides, but the sudden awareness made her stop and flex her hands.
âYeah,â she said. âLetâs do this.â
Rio reached the door at the end of the hall first and knocked right below the brass 4F affixed to it. When no one answered right away, Agatha tried the knob and found that it was already unlocked. She glanced at Rio with a shrug before pushing it all the way open and leading the way inside.Â
Rio's first impression upon stepping into Lilia's space was that it perfectly answered the question, "What if an eccentric gender studies professor with a fortune-telling side hustle had lived in the same rent-controlled apartment since the 70s?" which wasn't a question Rio had been asking, but it was nice to have an answer nonetheless. The entry way led into a spacious living room filled with squashy, mismatched furniture. Decorative lamps on various surfaces gave the room a soft, warm glow, and there were tapestries and artwork covering nearly inch of exposed wall. It was inviting and a little overwhelming in the same way that Lilia herself could be and Rio found that she kind of liked it.
Her second impression was that she and Lilia definitely had different ideas of what "not a party" meant. There were far more people than she had expected here. She vaguely recognized some other faculty members and a few of Liliaâs grad students and TAs who hung out around her office a lot, but she was only halfway through her second year of teaching, so there were still more unfamiliar faces than familiar ones.
"SooâŠ," Agatha started, leaning close to Rio's ear as she slipped out of her coat, "Are we sure that Lilia understands what a party is?â
Rio bit back a laugh as the hostess in question rounded the corner. âDid I hear a knock? I thought Iâoh, Rio, you came!â
Before Rio could react, Lilia swept forward and enveloped her in a brief, but warm hug that had Agatha pressing herself flat against the wall to stay out of the way.
âOh, Iâm so glad you were able to make it,â Lilia said. It wasnât until she stepped back that she seemed to notice Agatha. Something flickered behind her eyes for a fraction of a second before her wide smile was back in place. âAgatha, itâs nice to finally see you outside of the office for a change. Did you two come together?â
âSort of,â Agatha said at the same instant Rio said, âKind of.â
Lilia raised an eyebrow, and Rio glanced over at Agatha who was starting to get a sort of dazed look in her eyes, so Rio quickly took over.
âWe split an Uber,â she said. âThose holiday prices are crazy, but if the alternative is the green line on New YearâsâŠâ she trailed off with a shrug and an eye roll, and that seemed to be good enough for Lilia. Or at least, if she had further suspicions, she was good enough not to voice them.
Out of the corner of her eye, Rio could see Agatha bring her hand in front of her mouth in a loose fist, her thumb resting along her jaw and her first finger pressed against the bottom of her nose. It wasnât entirely out of the ordinaryâone thing about Agatha, the woman was always touching her faceâbut Rio guessed from the way Agatha scrunched up her nose that it was a little more practical at the moment.
Rio was about to come up with some excuse to try to shoo Lilia away, when someone else called her name from elsewhere in the apartment. Lilia glanced in the direction of the voice and sighed.
âI suppose I should go see what all the fuss is about,â she said. "You two feel free to make yourselves at home. There's food in the dining room, drinks in the kitchen, and I think someone brought some..." she mimed smoking a joint as she trailed off, and Agatha snorted. "If you want to do that, though, just do me a favor and take it outside or on the fire escape. The scent lingers in here like nothing else.â
âUnderstood,â Rio said.
Lilia gave a satisfied nod before turning on her heel and disappearing back into the festivities.
Rio turned towards Agatha just in time to see her shove her face into her bunched up coat and muffle a forceful sneeze into it. She came up for air with a slightly dazed look on her face, her mouth still open in preparation, but after a long moment of anticipation, nothing else happened. Agatha exhaled with an angry huff and hung her coat up on an empty hanger.
Rio did the same after her, except she nearly dropped the hanger when Agatha suddenly swore behind her. Rio whirled around just in time to see Agatha crush her nose between her thumb and forefinger as she pitched forward with a pair of stifled sneezes that were nearly silent save for a soft, choked off little gasp.
 Rio almost felt a little guilty for it, but she couldnât help noticing just how different these cold sneezes were from Agathaâs allergic fits. It was a strange thing to think about, but with her allergies, Agatha seemed to have some semblance of control, at least at the start. The tickle tended to be a slower, more torturous build that Agatha was shockingly good at hiding, and the sneezes themselves started off as soft, tickly little things that she was scary-good at keeping quiet. This cold, by contrast, seemed to keep her on her toes, sneaking up on her and then backing off just to come back with a vengeance, and Agatha was clearly already getting frustrated.
Agatha released her nose with a heavy sigh and a wet sniffle, and when she noticed Rio looking at her, she frowned.
âWhat?â she snapped.
âNothing,â Rio said. âBless you.â
That seemed to soften Agatha around the edges for a moment, and she muttered a quiet, âThanks,â before she brushed past Rio into rest of the apartment. âLetâs find the kitchen,â she said. âI donât know about you, but I could use a drink.â
Rio rolled her eyes, but followed along anyway. It was less than two and a half hours to New Yearâs, but she had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
~**~
When Lilia had said there were drinks in the kitchen, Rio had expected champagne, some prosecco, maybe some kind of fancy Italian wines and some seltzers in the fridge for the grad students. What she hadnât expected was a downright undergrad-rager amount of boxed wine and a rainbow of Jell-O shots, but now that she was looking at the spread, she realized that yeah, actually, this kind of tracked.
There was indeed an array of random seltzers and cheap beer in the fridge along with a couple of bottles of something bubbly with sticky notes on them warning that they were not to be touched until midnight. Rio grabbed a mango White Claw and turned around to see Agatha debating between the wine and the shots like it was a matter of life and death. After a moment, she reached a compromise with herself in the form of downing a purple Jell-O shot and then immediately grabbing a plastic cup to fill with room-temperature Franzia, because sure, why not?
âHey, Rio, you made it!â
Rio spun around to see Alice approaching with a beer in hand and a bright smile on her face.
âOf course,â Rio said. âI wouldnât miss it!â She took a sip of her seltzer and surveyed the room. âAlthough there are a lot more people than I expected when Lilia told me specifically that this wasnât a party.â
âThatâs Lilia for you,â Alice said. âAnything less than a full-on rager doesnât count as a party to her. But for what itâs worth, itâll probably start to clear out by 11:30ish. Most people just use this as a rest stop for a bit and then walk to the waterfront to catch the fireworks. But theyâre missing out because thatâs usually about when Lilia gets stoned enough to break out the oracle cards and thatâs worth sticking around for.â
âSounds like fun.â Rio hadnât even heard Agatha come up behind her, but there she was eyeing Alice over the rim of her plastic cup of cheap wine. âWhen do we break out the Ouija board and start telling ghost stories?â
âOh hey, Agatha,â Alice said. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she glanced from Rio to Agatha and back again like she was trying to connect some invisible dots. âI didnât expect to see you here.â
âYeah, good to see you too,â Agatha said flatly. She took a long sip of her wine, and she held her cup in front of her face a second longer than strictly necessary to block her nose from view as it twitched just the slightest bit. A tense moment passed where Rio couldnât tell if Agatha was actually going to sneeze or not, but she recovered quickly, lowering her cup and shouldering past Rio towards the dining room. âIâm gonna get some food.â
âOk, bye, Agatha,â Alice said drily. She shot Rio a look. âI didnât know you twoâŠâ
She trailed off, and the implied ellipsis hanging off Aliceâs words felt like a set trap for Rio to walk into. Sheâd had the feeling that her officemates were starting to suspect something for a whileâfrom the sounds of it there was even a betting pool nowâbut Rio wasnât going to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that easily.
It wasnât so much that they were trying to keep it a secretâsneaking around like teenagers wasnât really all it cracked up to be when they were both parties involved were closer to fifty than fifteenâbut with a kid in the mix, and Rio being so new, and AgathaâsâŠwell, being Agatha, they justâŠnever really cared to make a grand announcement to their colleagues. At some point it would come out, that much they both knew, but for now it was still sort of thrilling to have such a secret that was theirs and theirs alone.
So it was with all of that in mind, that Rio managed to say, âLiliaâs the one who invited her.â She took a swig of her seltzer and wished she had grabbed something harder. âWe just split an Uber here.â
âAh, sure,â Alice said. âItâs just funny; Liliaâs been trying to get her to come to stuff for years now, but this is the first time sheâs actually shown. I wonder what changed.â
âYeah,â Rio mused as she watched Agatha disappear around a corner. âI wonder.â
âOk, wellâŠâ Alice bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped her hands together as she took a slow step back. âI need to track down an HDMI cord to try to set up karaoke, but Iâll be around.â
âIâll see you,â Rio said.
She gave Alice a half-hearted wave and then followed Agathaâs trail into the cramped dining room where she found Agatha trapped in conversation with a short woman with a neat blonde bob who Rio vaguely recognized from theâŠadmissions office? Student life? Something like that.
Whatever they were talking about, Agatha hardly seemed to be in the mood for it, but the woman clearly wasnât taking the hint. Agatha had her hand in front of her face again, the knuckle of her first finger moving slowly back and forth under her nose as she nodded absently, her attention clearly more on her nose than her conversation partner.
If Rio had felt a little guilty about watching before, she felt downright voyeuristic now. From the corner of the doorway, Rio had a perfect view of Agathaâs profile, and she watched with rapt attention as Agatha managed to wrestle the tickle back long enough to interject.
âThat sounds great, Sharon, but you see, the problem is that I donât want to, soâŠâ she trailed off with a contemptuous, open-handed shrug, and the womanâSharon, apparentlyâjust laughed.
âOh, Iâll get you one of these days!â She wagged a finger playfully in Agathaâs direction before glancing down at her empty cup. âIâm gonna get some more wine, but Iâll email you once we get back on campus!â
âIâll delete it,â Agatha called after her in a mocking tone.
She waited until Sharon was safely out of the room before whirling around and coughing into her elbow. She recovered quickly enough, but kept her arm in front of her face for a moment too long. Rio could see her shoulders tense and then release as she smothered a trio of sneezes against her sleeve, each tripping over the next like they had taken umbrage at being held back for so long. âHiihâTSHh!-hâTSHh-TCHhu!â
âBless you,â Rio said.
Agatha startled at the sound of her voice and spun around to glare at her.
âIâm fine,â Agatha said through gritted teeth.
âI didnât even ask.â
âWell you were thinking it and thatâs bad enough,â Agatha snapped.
Her voice was starting to take on a more noticeably-congested edge, and Rio found herself wondering if sheâd have to put her foot down at some point. Either Agatha was a better liar than Rio had thought if she had been feeling this bad this whole time, or she was going downhill faster than Rio had assumed she would, and frankly Rio wasnât sure which was worse.
âIs this where theâŠoh. I hope Iâm not interrupting anything.â
Rio and Agatha both spun around to find Jennifer Kale smirking at them from the doorway like she very much hoped she was, in fact, interrupting something.
âYou wish,â Agatha growled. âWhat do you want, Jen?â
âMaybe to socialize?â Jen said slowly like she was trying to explain the concept to a child. âAt a social event? Although I canât imagine you have much experience with those.â
âCan it, Kale,â Agatha snapped. She took a long sip of her wine and shouldered past Jen on her way back into the kitchen. âIâm not in the mood.â
âNice to see you too, Agatha!â Jen called after her. She turned back to Rio and rolled her eyes. âYou really canât take her anywhere, can you?â
The question felt equal parts loaded and rhetorical, and given JenâsâŠhistory with Agatha, Rio figured her safest option was to plead the fifth. She ignored Jenâs pointed smirk and took another long drink of her seltzer.
âWell, forget her,â Jen said. âI was actually hoping to run into you here. I heard back from my mother about those old Home Garden magazines we were talking about? She found some of my grandmotherâs old issues, and she said sheâll send them out to me next week. I can bring them into the office when they get here if you want to go through them.â
âOh, sweet!â Â Rio had been working for most of the fall on a proposal for a class on Victory Gardens and the development of urban home gardening, and some of the earliest primary sources had proven to be a bit of a bitch to track down. âYeah, Iâll be in and out of the office the next few weeks before the semester starts, but Iâd love to get my hands on anything youâve got.â
âCool,â Jen said. âIâll keep you posted.â She gave Rio a soft smile and looked like she was about to say something else, but Rio took the pause as an excuse to slip away.
âIâm gonna go mingle a bit more. You know, network or whatever, but Iâll see you around.â
âYeah,â Jen said. âYeah, Iâll see you.â
Rio grabbed a star-shaped sugar cookie off a platter at the end of the dining table and popped it into her mouth as she slipped out into the living room before Jen could say anything else.
Agatha was across the room, in another tense conversation with a woman Rio definitely recognized from the library, but she couldnât quite place the name. Dottie? Sarah, maybe? Either way, Agatha saw Rio looking and shot her a sharp glare. Rio took the hint and headed over to where Alice was fussing with Liliaâs ancient CRT TV.
It turned out it didnât even have an HDMI port, which meant the karaoke idea was getting nixed, but after a little bit of snooping in the cabinet underneath, Rio found a dusty plug-and-play joystick with a collection of old arcade games that was still in working order, and it only took a few rounds of Frogger before a full-on tournament broke out.
Rio lost sight of Agatha as a small crowd started to gather around the TV, but despite that, if she was being honest, she was kind of actually starting to have a good time. As the clock ticked ever closer to midnight, the crowd did in fact start to thin out, and those who were left were mostly reaching a pleasant state of being under their influence of choice. Conversation and laughter flowed easily, and Rio found herself suitably distracted from worrying about Agatha.
That was, at least, until she caught sight of Agatha slipping away from the rest of the party, making a beeline for the bathroom down the hall with her hand against her face.
That got Rio distracted enough that she ran Ms. Pacman straight into a pixelated ghost to a collective groan from her audience, but Rio found herself not really caring. She passed the joystick off to Alice who was going for the high score on Galaga, and picked her way out of the crowd.
âYou good?â Jen asked.
âYeah,â Rio said. âIâm just gonna grab another drink.â
She headed into the kitchen and grabbed another seltzerâa wild berry Truly this timeâand made a pit stop in the dining room to grab a couple of those sugar cookies in a napkin before following Agathaâs path down the hall towards the bathroom. She was barely halfway to the door when she heard the unmistakable sounds of AgathaâŠwell, struggling.
âHih-TSSHhiu! Heihh-hhETshiw!â Rio heard what she assumed was a hand slamming down hard on the edge of the sink, followed by harsh fit of coughing that only seemed to feed back into the cycle as Agatha paused just long to inhale sharply beforeââHHETâSshiu! Motherfucker!â
âAgatha?â Rio knocked lightly on the door with her knuckle. âItâs just me. You ok?â
âF-fuck off,â Agatha growled. Her voice was really starting to go nowâit sounded low and scratchy, cracking between syllablesâand though she made a point of turning on the water in the sink, Rio could still hear her sniffling miserably.
âAgatha, come on, donât do this to yourself.â
She got no response to that, presumably because Agatha knew that her voice wasnât helping her case at this point. Rio checked the time on her phone; it was after eleven now. If sheâd known a few hours ago that this was where they were going to end up, sheâd have put her foot down at the start. She should have pushed harder when Agatha was still malleable. Now it felt like she was talking to a brick wall. Or a closed wooden door, she supposed.
Just as she was about to get up to go back to the party, she heard Agatha clear her throat.
âIf Iâb bothering you so mbuch you can just fuckiâg leave,â she snapped.
âAgatha, thatâs notâŠâ Rio trailed off as Agathaâs words actually hit her.
Oh.
So thatâs what this was all about.
âListen,â Rio said. âIâm not leaving you. Not because of the party and definitely not because youâre sick. Youâre kind of fucking stuck with me whether you like it or not, and Iâll give you space, but Iâm not leaving you. Take as much time as you need. Iâm heading back out to the living room, but Iâll be here for you whenever youâre ready.â
The water stopped running and Rio could hear Agatha sniffle again. She didnât say anything, but then again, she didnât really have to. It was enough just for Rio to know she was actually listening. As she started to turn away, she suddenly remembered the cookies in her hand.
âOh, and I brought you a little something to eat. Theyâre right out here if you want them.â
There was a narrow little table with a collection of candles and crystals next to the bathroom door, and Rio set the napkin-wrapped cookies on edge before she headed back down the hallway. When she reached the end, she heard the bathroom door open and shut, and when she turned around, the cookies were gone.
~**~
By 11:30, the party was smaller, but rowdier than ever. Lilia, who had been out on the fire escape more than once, was giggling her way through a tarot reading for Jen over the arm of the other couch. There was music blasting from someoneâs phone, and a cheer went up as Alice finally broke her high score. Everyone that was left was talking or laughing, and it was easy enough for Rio to slip back into the fray and plop herself on an overstuffed couch cushion without so much as a glance her way.
The minutes seemed to drag by impossibly slow. 11:45 turned to :50, turned to :55, and Rio was starting to think she might have to press her luck and check on Agatha again when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and speak of the devil, there she was. Her hair obscured most of her face so Rio couldnât get a great look at her, but she tapped Rioâs shoulder and nodded towards the fire escape, and that was all Rio needed to scramble to her feet and follow her.
There was no one out there at this time of night; everyone left was inside, watching reluctantlyas Alice unplugged the game and tuned the TV in to the Times Square ball drop. Agatha slipped out the open window onto the metal platform, and before Rio could even process what they were doing, Agatha grabbed the railing of the narrow stairs leading up towards the roof and started to climb.
âOk, not that Iâm not glad youâre out here again, but what are the fuck are you doing?â Rio asked, trying not to notice just how high above the city streets they were.
Agatha paused and looked back at her. âI waât to watch the fireworks.â
She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like it had been her plan this whole time, and though Rio hated the thought of setting foot on those narrow, creaking stairs, she had to admit that, yeah, she very much did want to watch the fireworks too.
She followed Agatha, and they both scrambled over the lip at the top. After the hazy warmth of Liliaâs apartment, the chill breeze was a welcome change, and Rio had to admit, the view was nice from up here. Rio checked the time on her phone. Two minutes to midnight, and she swore could feel it in the air.
âYou donât have to kiss mbe or adythiâg,â Agatha said. âI just thought this mbight be dice.â
Ninety seconds to midnight.
âWould you stop me if I did?â Rio asked.
Agatha scoffed. âYouâd really risk catchiâg this?â
âWhat can I say?â Rio shrugged. âIâm feeling lucky this year.â
âBut Iâb gross.â
Rio pressed her cold hand against Agathaâs fever-warm cheekâoh yeah, she was definitely going downhillâand guided her gaze up so she could take her first good look at Agathaâs face in the moonlight.
Agathaâs bright blue eyes were watering so badly it looked like she was crying, and though her mascara had held up valiantly for the last few hours, it was starting to smudge in earnest now. The makeup around her nose was a patchy mess, clinging to the dry, reddened skin where it hadnât been rubbed off entirely. Her lipstick had honestly held up surprisingly well, although the edges were starting to get fuzzy. All of that coupled with her irritated frown as she sniffled and wrinkled her nose again made her look so pathetically adorable that Rio could almost melt.
âSee thatâs the funny thing,â Rio said. âYouâre saying gross, but all Iâm seeing is the most beautiful woman in the world.â
Agatha blushed furiously, but she let Rio pull her closer.
Ten seconds to midnight.
The air was humming with electric energy. Rio was sure there was nowhere else on earth sheâd rather be.
Five!
They could hear the countdown from all directions.
Four!
Agatha swore as her nose twitched and she aimed a loud âHh-ITShoo!â into her shoulder.
Three!
Agatha sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve.
Two!
âLast chaâdce to back out.â
One!
Rio smirked. âNot on your life.â
Happy New Year!
All at once, the city erupted around them, but Rio hardly paid it any mind as her lips met Agathaâs, waiting and eager, and for a moment, they were the only two people in the world. Rio could taste the artificial vanilla of Agathaâs lipstick, could feel Agathaâs poor, abused nose against her cheek as she tangled her fingers in Agathaâs hair and savored absolutely everything about the moment.
Agatha was the first to turn away, gasping for breath that couldnât break through the wall of congestion in her nose, but she didnât pull away from Rioâs arms.
They stayed like that for a long moment, foreheads pressed together as the fireworks over the water lit up the night sky around them.
âRio?â Agatha finally croaked.
âYeah, love?â
 âI dodât feel very well,â Agatha said. She let her shoulders drop and rested her head on Rioâs shoulder so that her next words came out even softer. âI thigk Iâb ready to leave ndow.â
âOh, you are, huh?â
Agatha nodded weakly against Rioâs neck. Rio bit back a chuckle and carded her fingers through Agathaâs hair, which just made Agatha press closer. She was for sure running a fever now, but Rio didnât think she needed to say that part out loud.
The fireworks were starting to die down now. The city that slept by 10pm was already quieting again, and a cool breeze blew across the rooftop, making them both shiver. That was enough to finally spur Rio into action. Despite Agathaâs low whine of protest, Rio took a step back, and reached into Agathaâs pocket to find her crumpled handkerchief. She offered it to Agatha who rolled her rheumy eyes, but accepted it gratefully and set about wiping away the tear tracks and the smudged eye makeup. There wasnât much she could do for her foundation at this point, but after a moment she managed to pull herself back to some semblance of her usual self.
âReady?â
âH-hold on.â Agatha held up one finger as she inhaled a shaky breath. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lips parted, and she stayed like that for a long moment, beforeâ
Fuck, I lost it.â Agatha scrubbed at her nose with the crumpled handkerchief in frustration before flipping her hair over her shoulder and following Rio to the edge of the roof to step gingerly back onto the fire escape.
The party was well and truly winding down now, but those that were left seemed occupied with champagne and company, so no one seemed to notice when Rio and Agatha slipped back inside. For a second, Rio almost thought they could make a clean break for it. Theyâd grab their coats and slip outside, and Rio would text Lilia a brief goodbye once they were in the Uber back to Agathaâs place.
That kind of luck didnât seem to be on their side, though, because Lilia caught them as they passed the kitchen doorway.
âOh, Rio, are you leaving?â
Rio stopped dead in her tracks like sheâd been caught sneaking in after curfew. She could feel Agatha stiffen and clear her throat next to her.
âOh, uh, yeah,â Rio said with a nervous glance at Agatha. âItâs getting late andââ
âI have to let the babysitter go,â Agatha chimed in. âRio offered to split a car.â
Her voice was fading in earnest now, but Rio noticed how carefully she was choosing her words so at least she didnât sound too congested on top of it. Her explanation seemed to be enough for Lilia, who smiled at them both.
âWell, get home safe,â she said. âHappy New Year! And Agatha, I hope you feel better soon!â
Agathaâs jaw dropped and she looked like she was contemplating homicide or suicide or both, but Rio just gave her a shove in the direction of the door and gave Lilia a soft âHappy New Year,â and a shy wave in return.
She grabbed both of their coats out of the closet with one hand while she pulled up Uber on her phone with the other. No way they were doing that walk again tonight.
âOk, driverâll be here in three minutes,â Rio said.
When Agatha didnât respond right away, Rio looked up to see her frozen in pre-sneeze torture, her lips parted, eyelashes fluttering, brows knitting together as she took a breath in, and thenâ
âOh fuck mbe!â Agatha scowled and pinched the bridge of her nose hard.
âOh, pobrecita,â Rio breathed. âLetâs get you home.â
Agatha rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, the lost sneeze snuck back up on her with a vengeance just as Jen and Alice passed by on their way to the kitchen.
âHHTâSCHiu!â
âBless you, Agatha!â
âFuck off, Jen!â Agatha called back.
With that, she flipped her hair over her shoulder, held her flaming cheeks high, and stalked out of Liliaâs apartment, leaving Rio to call out a soft, âHappy New Year, guys!â before jogging to catch up.
~**~
The ride back to Agathaâs place was short and quiet, and even though she hadnât strictly been invited, Rio followed Agatha inside where Agatha paid the babysitter, kicked off her shoes, and tossed her coat in the vague direction of the coatrack before throwing herself down onto the couch in the parlor.
Rio had been in Agathaâs house more than a few times, but thisâAgatha being this miserable in her own homeâwas new enough territory that she wasnât quite sure what to do with herself. She shed her own coat and shoes, and picked up Agathaâs so at least they wouldnât be a tripping hazard later, and returned to stand behind the couch.
Agatha had one hand dangling towards the floor and the other over her eyes like if she blocked her vision, she could pretend the night had gone differently.
âSo,â Rio started carefully. âWhat are you thinking? Do you want me to stay?â
Agatha moved the hand over her face and looked up at Rio with red, watery, exhausted eyes.
âI cad take care of byself,â she said.
âI know you can. Thatâs not what Iâm asking.â Rio leaned over the back of the couch and reached one hand down to brush a lock of hair out of Agathaâs face, curling it gently around her finger. âDo you want me to stay?â
âYouâll get sick,â Agatha whined.
âAgain, not what Iâm asking. And for what itâs worth, you did have your tongue in my mouth less than an hour ago, so Iâm pretty sure that ship has sailed.â
Agatha started to laugh, but it quickly turned into a cough that only seemed to irritate her nose as she quickly brought her hands up to cover an itchy sneeze. âhH-IItschu!â
âSalud, baby.â
âThagks,â Agatha grumbled. She sniffled wetly and wiped her nose roughly on her sleeve. âUgh, feel gross! I hate beiâg sick.â
Rio bit back a laugh. âI donât think most people really enjoy it.â She had moved from playing with Agathaâs hair to scratching lightly at her scalp. Agathaâs eyes fell closed and she moaned into Rioâs touch.
âLet me ask a different way,â Rio said. âDo you want me to leave?â
Agathaâs eyes opened again, and when she looked up at Rio with her flushed cheeks and her sniffly nose, Rio felt like she could melt into a puddle on the spot. The flush in Agathaâs cheeks deepened as she slowly shook her head no.
âOk,â Rio said. âThat wasnât so hard, was it?â
âShut up,â Agatha muttered without any bite.
âIgnoring that because youâre sick,â Rio said. âNow what do you say we get you somewhere more comfortable than the couch so you can get some actual rest, hm?â
It took a few more minutes of gentle prodding from Rio to get Agatha to her feet and up the stairs, but once she was moving, she seemed to be able to handle herself. She poked her head into Nickyâs room before heading to her own room to change while Rio busied herself digging around in the bathroom medicine cabinet.
All Agatha seemed to have was a bottle of Advil, a box of Zyrtec, and a mostly-empty bottle of grape-flavored childrenâs cold medicine that was missing the measuring cup. Rio vowed to make a supply run in the morning, but for now, the Advil was probably better than nothing. She filled a glass with water from the sink, and then grabbed the allergy meds for good measure and headed for Agathaâs bedroom.
Agatha had already changed into an oversized t-shirt with an ambiguous number three on it, and a pair of worn flannel shorts that were practically indecent. Sheâd pulled her hair into a loose bun, and she was just finishing wiping off the last of her makeup with a wipe that she tossed carelessly in the direction of the trash can. It missed by a long shot, but Rio thought it was cute that sheâd tried.
âHere,â Rio said, holding out the water and two ibuprofen tablets. âYou didnât have much, but this should help keep your fever down.â Agatha took the meds and washed them down without protest, and Rio offered her the box of allergy meds. âI donât know if theseâll do much, but they might at least take the edge off until I can run out to the store tomorrow.â
Agathaâs cheeks flushed a deeper pink. âAbout thatâŠâ
âWhat are youâŠ?â Rio trailed off as she pulled the blister pack out of the box and found it completely empty. âWhy was this still in the cabinet if you knew it was empty?â
âTo remind myself to buy more,â Agatha said like it was completely obvious and not actually one of the most ridiculous things Rio had ever heard.
âOk, scratch that then.â Rio tossed the empty package into the trash can. âDo you want anything else?â
Agatha shook her head as she set her water on the nightstand.
âJust hurry up and câmere,â she said, making grabby hands in Rioâs general direction. It was quite possibly the cutest thing Rio had ever seen, and she wiggled out of her nice jeans and into a spare set of pajamas as fast as she could so she could crawl under the covers with Agatha, who immediately attached herself to Rioâs side.
âIâb sorry I was a bitch earlier,â Agatha mumbled.
Rio chuckled as she leaned her cheek against the top of Agathaâs head. âLucky for you, I kind of like it when youâre a bitch, because I know you donât mean it.â Agatha grumbled something unintelligible against her neck, but Rio continued, âAnd because the sooner you get being a bitch out of your system, the sooner we get to do this.â
âLove you,â Agatha mumbled sleepily.
âY yo a ti, mi amor,â Rio said. She reached back to turn off the lamp on the bedside table and then pressed her lips against Agathaâs warm forehead as she settled back down.
Agatha was already out, her breathing coming in congested little snores that made Rioâs lips twitch into a smile as she felt her own eyes growing heavy. Her last conscious thought before she slipped into sleep herself was that there was nowhere else on earth sheâd rather be starting the new year.
#it is almost 4:30am i have work tomorrow but the hyperfocus came in clutch it felt like it took me five minutes to get this polished#never have i claimed to make good choices in the throes of fic writing sdhvnhdfv#i am actually like absurdly proud of this silly little fic so i hope y'all like it too!!#part 2 will be probably a little more a/gatha too but don't worry r/io is DEFINITELY getting a turn with this đ#a/gathario#a/aa#snzfic#sneezefic#witchywrites#anyway i love you all and this lil community so much and now i'm gonna go sleep for a million years or at least until my alarm goes off đ«Ą#(also my cat keeps trying to bite my computer as i post this so hello from my cat i guess)#(he didn't help but he wants to be included)
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this is my favourite thing studio orange did with trigun
cuz like. YEAH! THEY ARE RLLY FUCKING SIMILAR!
Wolfwood's a kid who grew up too fast. he tries to hide behind the identity of "the punisher", a title that makes him sound like a horrible killing machine. the title screen disagrees with him though, knows deep down that kid is still inside there trying to look after his brothers and sisters. Wolfwood takes on "the punisher" in order for the eye of michael to leave the orphanage alone, so they don't have to go through what he did.
Nai is also a kid who grew up too fast. he doesn't hide behind an identity though, he embraces it. He believes that 'nai' is weak, 'millions knives' is strong and will be able to save his brother and sisters. The title screen agrees with him because it's shown how intent he is on following this path of mass destruction as he attacks and kills the workers just moments before. Knives IS Knives because of how the humans treat his siblings, because of witnessing the Last Run and Tesla. He doesn't want his brother and sisters to go through what they did.
#wolfwood is forced into his role while knives makes a conscious choice to go down that path thats basically what im trying to say#their reasoning though?? its literally the same#and you WILL listen to me because i love this little detail#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#millions knives#trigun analysis#character analysis#kind of?
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I can't believe I only now thought 'what about 17' in Up that Mountain.
He gets one panicked crying message from Cody about how they lost Fox. 17 doesn't get more out of him, so he tries Ponds, because Ponds is not a fucking idiot. Ponds tells him that yes, they did, in fact, lose Fox, but...he isn't sure in what way. Fox is not on Coruscant and Thorn is now the Commander of the Guard, and Fox's name is not even in the GAR database anymore. So, uh, they assume that he is dead? But then there is the problem that they don't have the body, so they have double lost him. And something about this is making Ponds a little suspicious because if there is no body, is he actually dead? He has seen people get into worse situations and come out alive. None of the Guard seems like they are bothered either? They all liked Fox, so wouldn't they be?
17 is getting a headache. After the call he goes to get a drink or something, and Shaak Ti walks past him in the hallway. She smiles at him and then, for some reason, congratulates him, saying that he must be very proud and happy. What 17 is, is really fucking confused.
Meanwhile, on Alderaan, Fox wakes up in cold sweat. He thinks he has forgotten something really important.
#fox during breakfast the next morning: oh no#anyway 17 is really fucking done with these damn kids#he's not sure what he thinks about fox's choice of spouses at first but at the same time he is like hell yeah climb that social ladder#bail and breha are really nice to him bc this is the closest thing they will have for in-laws on fox's side#that are maybe a bit more personal than just having a million brother-in-laws#anyway 17 attends the wedding and is definitely not even a little bit emotional. and even if he is it doesn't show#since he is very busy keeping the rest of the party in check#sw#tcw#bail/breha/fox#alpha-17#commander fox#commander ponds#commander cody#Up that Mountain#No order 66 au
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Let him dad her!! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Fionna Campbell#Simon Petrikov#I cannot BeLieve that they didn't hug at any point - illegal. One million years dungeon#She slapped him (deservedly) but they didn't hug by the end??? I had to fix it#Jerry is my favourite episode so that at least was an easy choice lol#If anywhere would be a good place to cross that line it would be to comfort her! I can't imagine he'd initiate tho haha#She's just seeking comfort so badly <3 I know she's at least legally considered an adult but she's still a kid!#And Simon just keeps adopting kids lol#He's a good dad :) Not a perfect one but y'know? He helps where he can#Sometimes all we need is a parent figure giving you a hug and saying ''You know what? You're right - this sucks. But I see you''#Fionna's quite interesting 'cause like - she's meant to be a Finn but there are a lot of differences between her and quite a few Finns!#A lot of that is Because she lived in Simon's head for so long but I wonder - most Finns have decent support systems and she seems a little#Well not lacking Exactly but her fallbacks aren't as numerous - and she's not able to fulfill her life's purpose so she's just kinda wayward#Seeing that kind of Finn finally able to spread their wings but still have a lot of Finn trappings like naivety and impulsivity âȘ#She's interesting! I quite like her :D Plus it's cool to see her natural EQ when she calls out Simon later in this episode unknowingly haha#I stopped at episode eight for a while but year her line about ''Then you got on the bus right? :D'' and him refuting it#Hmmm âȘ It was certainly interesting - I'm glad they addressed it :)#Plus she's fun to draw haha â« Her bunny ears! And the jacket she took from Martin </3 She has a fun design#And as always Simon is fun to draw :) Especially piecemeal here haha - just his mouth or just his eyes âȘ Cute :)
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itâs all the rest of what i want with you
connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k
Summary:
âBrandon,â Connor says with a sigh. âThereâs no baby in there.â
âNot yet,â Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.
in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertileâs wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 𫶠anyway please enjoy!!!
#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT đŁïžđŁïžđŁïžâŒïžâŒïžâŒïž i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu#HI SHEâS HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand#in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred#because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it#including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like#âthis is not the first real fic i ever thought iâd postâ and if i had a nickel iâd have three but this is the first pwp iâve ever posted#and itâs 8k and itâs not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldnât pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on#this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless#so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldnât find a good one#and instead yâall got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies#shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday iâll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags đ«Ą#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze#laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling âst. paul good barsââŠ)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &iâm still not happy
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WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU
#first i had ai dictacting schedules and now the radiologists just thought there was a AHHGGRHHH#YES. YES U CAN MAKE MONEY GOING INTO RADIOLOGY. BUT DO NO T. JU ST. GO INTO IT. for the MONEY#MEDICINE IS FKING PAIN BCS BUSINESS IS A PAIN & PPL ARE IN PAIN & PPL ARE A PAIN#like it is Very. ppl orientated it's FKING MEDICINE and even if ure a vet or whatever theres obvs usually humans attached fo animals#so like u might not always be dealing with the ppl but ur coworkers who are also being directly accounting#for the ppl SURE AS HELL DO#like yea ppl die all the time but ure telling me u dont gaf when u couldve done something to stop a LIFE#a HUMAN LIFE that was DEPENDING ON U just doing a like tiny action in the grand scheme of ur things#but ends up a major life changer to them even if they dont always have the knowledge to recognize it#and u let them die bcs of the money#i cant fcking STANDDDDDD IT ohmy GAWD.#also like radiology is not all that hunky dory like radiactive is part of the fking name like#UGHHHH LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE SCOLDING MY PTS WHY TF AM I SCOLDING MFS FOR MY PTS#anyways yea tho totally just join medicine for the money it's tofally not a massive damage to u n society#but also . fuck society for making ppl feel like they only have this choice or it's starvation bcs thats also so fking real fuc that#but bro at least try not to fuck ppl over once u gain a position just bcs u happened to be in a bad mood today like#medicine is Literally. horror. it's not that 'i watch pimple popping videos haha i can handle it' horror . it's literally.#the horror of treating humans like humans while never allowed to be one urself kind of horror#it's watching a little girl crying and a big bulky father weeping like a small child bcs his wife died#&then u step out the room and a pt throws his poop at u bcs he keeps lying to u abt not having any alcohol &wants to go home but has no ride#wants a million opiods and has been absolutely wailing at ur staff and if he leaves ama it docks u so now u gotta#peruse a bunch of legal documents to try and figure out a loophole on how to get him outta here while also dealing with 60 other pts#on the brink of death or intensely septic and the whole time ure trying to save them u got bitches screaming in ur ear abt the#north carolina fluid shortage like btch fuck that im giving this kid the shit they need to survive fuck off#especially funny bcs theres fluids available but we refuse to buy them bcs theyre for a higher price than our og supplier like ok#anyways#love my life
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just noticed jamie flinches before the wembley hug what if i exploded into a million billion pieces.
#beebles#jamie tartt#ted lasso#royjamie#<- technically#im feeling a little bit like a rabid dog#like of Course he did but ive never Noticed it what if i died#i know this has definitely been picked apart a million billion times but holy guacamole#like not only does that comfort come from the least likely person in the room#its the person he has actively gotten into physical fights with before#and jamie is so so so wound up and clearly in such a weird head space#and then roy is coming at him like a fucking train and just fucking.#holds him.#he and roy have been fighting like caged dogs for years and hes being silent and steady and warm against him#doesnt say anything doesnt expect jamie to say anything just fucken holds him#auhfugsiufhiuahd#i dont think he expected roy to hit him but i do think theres a panicked moment where he thinks he might want to and maybe thats worse#jamie tartt you will always be famous i love you sm.#mr dunster this goes to you also for the acting choice there
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seeing so many dog shit takes on well. pretty much everything that i might stop using the for you page on twitter tbh
#which sucks because u Can get fun stuff from ppl u dont directly follow#and this is after i cleared out the interests....#like ill see a tweet referencing a dog shit take rightfully criticising it#and then unfortunately i will scroll down a little and see the dog shit take in question followed by approximately#one million tweets echoing the take. like..#initially i didnt use the fyp but when tweets from people i actually follow started failing to show up in the actual following tab#i had no choice but to move over đ
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i'm never entirely sure if the term "captain-class" includes lieutenants (personally, I think it's people who have or are close to having bankai, which would obviously include Ikkaku so whatever), but assuming he was allowed to pick lieutenants, imagine being Renji and being told to pick the three people you'd most want to have with you to go to another world and wait for a war to crack open
(alternatively, imagine an au where the advance team was abarai & kuchiki & hinamori & kira & hisagi, the shining stars of shin'ou class of 2066 + their favorite sempai)
#advance team arc#nerd squad#don't get me wrong the melancholy vibe of the advance team is everything to me#but part of the melancholy is who is here and who is not and who should be#the thing about bleach is that it's not just big tragedies it's a million little tragedies like this too. just tragedies all the way down#hinamori and hisagi would have been *so good* at being in the living world and befriending the karakura kids#kira maybe not so much but he's smart and good in a fight and WHO KNOWS maybe he has some advice on being depressed#i think kira and ishida would get along really well if they ever had the chance i will die on this hill#let renji run the advance team it was his team let him be great#let's be real hitsugaya probably would have preferred to be back in soul society doing two squads worth of paperwork anyway#maybe matsumoto can still be on the advance team reader's choice on that
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December 2023 Wrap Up
Here is what I read/posted/won/received/bought in November. As always, let me know if you have read any of these books and (if you did) what you thought of them. Books I Read: Books Reviewed: Mister Lullaby by J.H. Markertâreview here Sister of Starlit Seas by Terry Brooksâreview here Deceptive Silence by Reily Garrettâreview here Hard Check Holiday by Ann Hunterâreview here Echoes ofâŠ
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#A Dark and Drowning Tide#A Million LIttle Choices#A Smoking Bun#Aiki Flinthart#Alison Rose Greenberg#All&039;s Fair in Love and War#Allison Saft#Amelia Grey#Anastasia Hastings#Ann Hunter#B.C. Burgess#Back to Before#Backtrack#Bermuda Triangle#Bob Mayer#Boiling Point#Brett Salter#Cate C. Wells#Chris Keniston#Christina Estes#Danielle Steel#David Balfour#December 2023 Wrap Up#Deceptive Silence#Descension#Dirty Rich Cinderella Story#E. Denise Billups#Echoes of Ballard House#Ellie Alexander#Flower and Thorn
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zooming in desperately trying to figure out what fucking fountain pen aziraphale is using
#the thing is i'm generally pretty good at fountain pen identification BUT that presupposes being able to see the damn thing#and this is a little too blurry compared to a million generically black and gold pens#but then my choices are either ask neil gaiman or ask reddit. sigh.#good omens#mine
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âGod I want you in some primal, wild way animals want each other. Untamed and full of teeth. God I want you, In some chaste, Victorian way. A glimpse of your ankle just kills me.â â Clementine von Radics
#the bg3 adventures#baldur's gate 3#astarion#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin#by me#eBG3#oc: maleane#maleane/astarion#*cups their faces* they're just precious little things#lisTEN i am passing out lmao but i took SO many screenshots of them today just went wild af#and wanted to do _something_ with at least ONE#the poem just happened because sleempy and humgry#it's been sitting in my notes waiting to be used for seven million years#i was || this close to putting a eurovision quote here ok i made the right choice#still tattoo lowkey their song ngl#aNYWAY time to sleemp
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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goodnight tyler nation
#the fanclub name has been passed onto you guys because twitter is evil andnim done on there đ„#also sorr for posting this gif one million times i think itd the best rhing ive ever made#like thats going to be me when siffrin gets here if someone gave us both a little kiss#km never going to make anything as good ever againâŠ#not by choice i just dont think itll compare /silly#yap yap yap#media tag
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Seeing ppl say parkour civ is better than pvp civ makes me want to vomit
#cant two divas coexist#also youre just saying that bcz y'all can't handle a little bit of 2nd hand embarrassment#anyways im pvp civs biggest defender#if pvp civ has 1 million fans- one of them is me. if pvp civ has 1 fan- its me. if pvp civ has 0 fans- im in heaven still watching pvp civ#i <3 pvp civ#i love mc stories of infinite cycles of pain where the protag must hurt others to progress (pvpciv & redstoner)#ig Redstoner didn't HAVE to#but#he didn't have another choice he was mentally unstable and the red sun (real or fake either way) was pressuring him#BUT IN YHR REBOOT#he didn't have a choice- nor did he know it would kill him- but there was no other way to progress that situation#what situation i hear you ask?#WHO FUCKING KNOWS#ROSS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED#I NEED TO KNOW WJY HE DIED ORHOW OR ANYTHINGGGGG#PLEASEEEEEEE#why am i yapping abt an ancient mcyt rp on my post abt new mcyt rp i forgot
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