#A Long And Healthy Life

[lunarcrown]

OLLD drawing I can share now of Timmy after recovery and care from staying on double life and being looked after by the box boys~

He’s healthier, happier, his hair and wings have grown back out and have a pretty blue-black sheen to them (that he never knew he had bc in hels his diet and environment only let them be dull) and he just heard the sound of a portal opening for someone to come visit~!

[mellosdrawings]

How do you do hands so well!?💀

I cheat lol

Ok, so that's a half truth half lie. Here's a few tuto, one about hand composition, one to teach you how to make a hand from scratch, and one to tell you that sometimes, in art, you gotta simplify your life.

First, hand composition:

Red: palm shape and fingers size

From above, the palm will look like a pentagon, a bit wider towards the fingers, with the middle finger being the peak higher than the others. You can replicate that little knuckles hill at the end of the fingers. Fingers' size depends wildly on the person, some have palms longer than their fingers, others have fingers longer than their palms. For a base ref, make palm and fingers as long as each other and move the fingers' length from there.

From the side, the palm will look like a trapeze, base wider than the top.

From the front, the palm will never be completely flat! At rest, it will curve inward slightly. Draw a lump for the general shape.

Orange: fingers

From above, fingers tend to fan out at rest.

From the side, keep following the line of the top part of your hand. The inner side of the fingers will be straighter though. Fingers are composed of three mostly equal parts (the last one might be shorter depending on the person).

Blue: thumb

People tend to forget the thumb is surprisingly mobile! Unlike fingers that can only close and spread, thumbs can move forward and backward, up and down, and make actual rotations!

The base of the thumb will take at least half of the palm's side, but extra skin to allow movement will make it look like it take more space. Just like other fingers, it's actually composed of three parts. The thumb will usually be just a tad longer than the base knuckles of the other fingers (but as said before, fingers size change depending on the person).

Brown: knuckles and wrist

For the knuckles, you can make little elongated pyramids at the top of your palm shape. They will always follow the line of the fingers.

The inner part of the wrist will be mostly straight or curved inward, but the outer side should have a bump due to the ulna bone. Sometimes I place it as a hill, sometimes as a circle.

Second, the messy tuto:

1. Movement

First you should always draw a shitty shape indicating the general position and movements of your hand. Don't bother with proportions or details, you just wanna be able to tell what you want your hand to be doing.

2. Palm shape

Start by detailing your palm. Try to highlight where the fingers and the wrist will be. Refer to the hand composition above for the general shape.

3. Fingers implantation

Separate the top of your hand in four mostly equal circles for the base of your fingers, and the side of your palm in a roughly rounded triangle for your thumb. Once more, refer to the hand composition above.

4. Fingers

Place the three parts of all your fingers more or less following the initial shape/movement you wanted to go for. Fingers should be roughly the same size as your palm, but you can vary the length as no two people have the same hands.

5. General shape

Once you have placed all your finger parts, you will be able to draw them and connect them to your palm. Don't hesitate to start making adjustments starting from this step.

6. Details

Nails are, just like fingers, very different depending on the person. Globally you can put either an oval or a rounded rectangle on top of your fingers. You can make them longer after the finger for effeminate or well kept nails.

Add pyramids at the base of your fingers to place your knuckles and a circle or a pyramid on the outer side of your wrist to place your ulna bone.

7. Finish

Add details, adjust sizes, remove extra lines, and you have a hand.

Ok. Now, that technique I just showed you? Don't use it. No, I'm serious. Don't use it for hands that are part of the main focus. Do it for background characters or doodles or training or comics panels where hands aren't that important.

For illustration and panels with a focus on your character's hands, use the following technique instead.

Third, how to make your life easier as an illustrator:

1. Reference

Yes. That's how you make good hands. You take a pic of your own hand doing the pose you want to use as reference.

2. Palm

Just as the tuto explained before, you start by finding the shape of your palm on the pic and try to replicate it. It might be a bit difficult at first to copy proportions properly, but doing it again and again will make it easier in time. (Also refer to the last part of this post*)

3. Thumb

Usually I'd go for the fingers first, but since the thumb is on the foreground I started with it here. First the implantation with the palm, then the two last parts. (As you can see I have tiny potato hands so I tend to artificially elongate the fingers compared to my reference to have prettier hands).

4. Fingers

Find the general movement of your fingers. Straight lines for fingers in tension and connected cylinders for fingers flexing.

5. Once you are able to place the general shapes, you will have an easier time copying your own hand. Doing it without the previous steps is feasible when you are used to copying, but if you are new to this I would suggest deconstructing your hand to train your brain into remembering every detail.

6. Corrections, details, add a little movement if you are into dynamic-art, keep it realistic if you are into realism.

You now have a pretty hand.

Remember : You can (and you should) use references! Normal humans aren't made to remember every single details about everything, especially when those things are as complex as hands (or Gods forbid it buildings and cars and whatever else).

If you struggle with drawing hands, take a pic of your own hand to help. Try to find the big shapes composing your own hand so it'll be easier to yolo another time.

References are your friends! Don't think you're any less of an artist because you need to have your own shoe on your drawing table so you can draw your character's feet!

(*For new artists : TRACE! I'm sure you've heard everywhere that tracing is diabolical and you should never do it. It's FALSE. Tracing helps with your hand-eye coordination. 80% of art is reflex! I no longer need to think about all these steps because I have been drawing for more than 15 years. I started by tracing Winx Club stickers I had one my windows! It helped me have a sense of movements, proportions, and fluid lines.

What you shouldn't do with tracing is post it as your own art! You are free to trace as training, but you should never claim it is your own art.

Other than that, please, trace. Trace your own hands pic to get used to the shape. Trace your favorite artists to understand what you like in their lines or proportions. Trace that damn building because you don't have time to create a whole background from scratch for your webcomic.)

Art is cheating. Always. Don't feel bad for making your life easier.

[lnkedmyheart]

This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

[jamespotterthefirst]

I found my writing journal (with over a year worth of dust) and it made me think...

I want to write again.

Given that it's been a while, I'm going to post finished fics I never posted, written fics I never typed out, and finish unfinished series (Enchanted, YBF, Picta, etc). If anyone out there still cares, look out for that. If not, I'm going to post them for me and maybe Kelsey/ @takeharryandgo (she's contractually obligated to read everything I write 😉).

Those seem like small, attainable goals as I get back into writing...

Also, I don't think I'll use a tag list anymore. We die like men.

Wish me luck!

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Life Finds a Way

Pppst @spotaus you ready? :3

For those people who noticed. Spotaus and I have been talking some lore. And I wanted to write a little thing about it! (also i am noticing that all my gifted drabbles to Spotaus about this AU is about Ccino? woops? I will probably eventually do other charactes hahah)

For now? I hope you like this Spotaus :D No beta or edits :D

Warnings: Child abuse, mentally and emotionally. implied harrassment but nothing actually happens. Forced child labor. Very unhealthy eating habits and forced dangerous dieting. fat-shaming. suicidal thoughts (not a lot and not too specific but it is there). Gaslighting and manipulation. (reminder for everyone. Ccino is SEVEN in this.)

Please let me know if you spot anything else i need to warn people about okay? But i think i got it all.

*--------------------------------------*

Sera turns to him and looks unimpressed "well? Hold the three trays."

Ccino looks nervously at the very large plates filled with cups. All wooden now but they are heavy. Ccino carefully picks one up and can't quite balance it in one hand. Much less hold it with one arm. The plate wiht cups falls to the ground wiht a loud clatter and he flinches at the sound.

Sera sighs loudly as she shakes her head "another disappointment. I keep telling you you only have this week to learn. yet you seem set on not learning at all!" she snaps.

Ccino looks down and mutters "I... i am trying... i am sorry. i just..." he is still so sad... he has been here a week now and just wants to roll up a cry. but everyone keeps telling him he only has a week to practise and then he needs to work with everyone else.

He still doesn't understand the castle and where everything is. Much less every servant pathway.

The rules are confusing and sometime she doens't quite understand the accents people use or the words they say.

Sera glares and raises her hand. Ccino pulls his head back and closes his sockets.

Nothing happens. He sneaks a look and sees Nim staring Sera down.

Sera falls to her knees and bows deeply "My king. I apologise. The child is stupid and can't learn."

Nim just sighs as she rubs her forehead "I thought i was clear. He has a purpose. For this purpose he is required to learn and not have marks." she looks at Sera before turning her attention to him and the mess on the ground.

Ccino looks down himself as he feels the tears return. Anytime he sees her all he can think about is the fire. all he can think about is his parents trying to reach him. the locked door. the fire. the screams. he had been able to smell it in the carriage and-

"I see you still make messes." the disapointment is so obvious.

Ccino tugs on the shirt he had been gifted. His clothes that his parents had given him had been taken as soon as he got there. After his forced bath. something about cleaning off the dirt from his old life. the grey uniform had been left instead.

Though Ccino can't help but notice that his clothes are slightly different from other servants. There are tiny motives of apples and branches around the edges and seams. tiny details. Ccino figured it was because of his status as trainee but... well.. why special outfits when he only is suposed to train for a week? why make all his stuff have those?

Nim sighs loudly and Ccino pushes the tears away as he holds his shirt tighter.

"I will remind you. I expect perfection. I don't have use for unworthy people." some movement "And i expect you to train him well. There is a lot counting on this.".

a moment of silence and the king is gone.

Sera gets off the ground and glares at him. Ccino shivers as he waits. Sera huffs "pick up the tray and the cups. set it up again and get it ready. You failing will also look poorly on me. Get. To. Work."

Ccino nods and kneels down to get the tray and start moving one heavy cup at the time back on top of it.

until he ends with three filled trays again. And he tries to carry all three of them. again.

It drops a few more times but he ends up managing to balance one on his arm. Even if it is really heavy and his arm starts to ache.

Sera nods "Good. Now hold the other two trays with both your hands."

Ccino stares at her. is... is she serious? how... how is he suposed to? That is so heavy! His arm is already shaking. Sera just stares at him and looks at the trays "Well?! You udnerstand that right?!"

Ccino nods and slowly takes one of the trays. it woobles as he transfers it to his arm already carrying the tray. it is so heavy.... he manages to grab the third one and has to concentrate on not dropping anything or letting it fall over.

Sera sighs "finally managed to get you to do this stupid trick. it isn't even that hard. Now. Walk to the other side of the room and put all three down on the other table. No. Dropping."

Ccino glances over. it is so far... He takes a shaking step and all the trays start to tilt and he has to stop and correct them all. He looks unsure at Sera but she just points at the table and taps her foot.

He misses his mom. His mom would hug him and tell him it was okay when he dropped something. that they would clean it up together and next time ccino had to test before trying to lift something.

He takes a few steps and has to stop again. the trays barely don't fall and his arms hurt. The trays are just so heavy. Sera lets out another annoyed sigh and Ccino takes another few steps.

It takes long but he manages to make it to the other side. he puts the trays down and looks back.

Sera sighs as she shakes his head "You are much too slow and clumsy. you will never make it anywhere fast enough even if you use the tunnels. this is such a waste of time and you are clearly not the right pick. But. the king thinks you are the right pick! So we will just have to waste a lot of time on you." she glances at him and looks annoyed "and stop your annoying crying. you are acting like a child! You are gettnig the honour of working under the greatest king to have ever lived and work towards a glorious future! And you are thankless!"

Ccino sobs and rubs his sockets. his arms ache. he is so tired. he just wants to be home and hug his dad. his dad always makes the hurt and scared feelings go away. his dad's hugs were magical like that. his dad would always tell him the magic behind his hugs was love and so they worked best for ccino and ccino's mom because dad loved them both so much. Ccino wants him back.

Sera sighs "okay. once again. How do you get from the kitchen to the warroom?"

Ccino stares at the ground and mutters "i.. euh... i would."

Sera groans "speak up! If someone asks you to speak you speak up and proudly. No stammering. We have more important things to do than wait for you to figure out how to say a basic sentence."

Ccino flinches and nods as he tugs on his shirt. "To... get to teh warroom... f-from the kitchen.. you need to exit and go by the servant rooms. then past the storage. you get to the hall... then go up and up. then the..." was it east or west?! "west wing... then up again. and there should be a... red door. there is the warroom..." right?

Sera sighs loudly "we don't call it the servant rooms. we call it the servant quarters. Aside from that we don't call it going up and up. We call it going to the second floor." she shakes her head.

Ccino looks down and feels frustrated. but he was right! The directions were right! What does it matter what he calls things. some words are hard to say and he never used them before! it is just to know his way around right? why does it matter what he calls things in his head?

Sera walks towards the door "come. we will go to the kitchen so you can practise cooking again." she looks abck annoyed "and don't burn yourself again. YOu are suposed to be markless. perfect. act like it." and she leaves.

Ccino follows after the other. He wishes he was in bed and could just sleep.

they get to the kitchen and Sera looks at him "We will try an easy recipe because you are just useless. Start with a fritatta. Even you should be able to make that." and she waits.

Ccino stares at her. what is a fritatta? He glances around but there are no ingredients out already and there is no paper with the recipe on it. what... what?

Sera looks annoyed "it was in the book you were given to study at night."

Ccino looks down. When he got here and dropped off in his room after the forced bath there were a bunch of books. like ten and tehy were thick. all about manners and chores and how to act and who was who. He... he thinks there may have been a cooking book somewhere in there?

Ccino speaks up "i can... get it?" maybe then he can cook this weird fritatta thing?

Sera sighs loudly "and be fast."

Ccino rushes out of the kitchen and back to the servant quarters before running past the door leading there. He still isn't sure why he has a private room but at least this way people don't hear him cry at night. He gets there and searches between the books. eventually finding an old book and-

Why... why can't he read this?! It is all another language?! He opens it and looks for anything he can read but it is all just... weird! how... how can he? how is he suposed to read this?!

He still picks up the book and brings it to the kitchen. Sera looks at him expectingly "Well?"

Ccino looks down "i can't read this..."

Sera sighs loudly "Of course you can't do soemthign as basic as reading. you are an uncultered idiot. Honestly what did you do before? just play in the mud?"

Ccino feels close to tears as he remembers helpign his mother in the store with counting out change and helping refilling shelves. Helping her do the dishes as she teaches him how to make bread and deserts. "i can read... i just can't read this... this language..."

Sera frowns "You don't know french?! how can you be seven already and not even know french as well?! honestly the education is going downwards so quickly." she sighs and shakes her head "i supose i will just have to assist you again and get you a translated version. very well. For the meal you are about to make you will need the following. and pay attention because i don't like repeating myself."

Ccino rushes over as he tries to get the ingredients as quickly as possible. He just hopes he doesn't burn himself on the pan this time.

----

Ccino pants as he leans against the wall. He thought the first week was hard. It was much harder now. He kept getting orders that he needed to complete. bringing things around. helping making things. serving things to people.

It is all so hard and everyone just stares at him disappointed all the time. He wants to cry.

but crying isn't allowed. they were clear on that. if he cries he will just be locked in a dark room.

Something about them not being allowed to punish him the normal way. so they have to be creative. He doesn't like the dark closet. It is dark and always cold and he is so alone. No one talks to him when he is in there. he doens't hear anyone when he is in there.

He doens't even know what he does to get locked up in there. They never say what he does wrong. They just say he deserved it... is... is he a bad kid? is he being bad? mom and dad always siad he was good and they loved him... how come he is suddenly bad? he is trying. he is really trying!

He just wants to sleep and cry. but he is still in his shift and needs to work...

He gets to the kitchen as his arms ache. the cook looks up and waits. Ccino finds his voice and manages to not make it clear he is close to crying again "i delivered the food."

the cook, he never introduced himself, huffs "you better not have messed up my presentation again!" and he turns abck to the stove.

Ccino nods nad walks over to the chores board. it is magical... probably. ccino doesn't know how it works. just knows it shows what he needs to do. soemthing about the ehad of the house deciding who does what and when. He looks for his name at the very bottom and stares in shock. There is a demand for him to go to the throne room!! For a long time now!! Why did no one tell him?!

He rushes out of the kitchen and dives into the hallway to the servant quarters. he stops between the doors to the washing chambers and the dressing room and opens a panel to show a pathway. it is one of the many servant corridors that linger the castle. it makes it easier to get to places quickly. this one should lead towards the big entrance near the throne room.

He runs down the path. jumping over spare uniforms and discarded items and tools as he rushes.

He checks to make sure no one is watching before fully exiting. he rushes to the throne room and takes the servant entrance to it.

No one is there. Aside from Nim on her throne. She is drinking out of a fancy wine glass with wine that is probably more expensive than anything Ccino used to own put together. He glances around but sees no one else... euh....

Ccino doesn't remember a specific message about why he needed to be there. just that he needed to go there...

Ccino walks into the area and bows deeply "my king." even the title leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He hates the king. he HATES her with every spec of his being. but he can't do anything.

Nim hums as she looksup from the wine "you are slow. but you are a child and only have short legs. I expect you to get better with time. If i don't see improvements I will have to look for your replacement."

Ccino nods before answering "of course my king." please let him leave. please let that have been it. please-

Nim stnads up "but. I called you here for a reason. Follow me." and she turns before walking towards the exit.

Ccino wants to cry. he doesn't want to be near her! He doesn't want to follow her!

He follows her.

People stop and bow at Nim before shooting him glances. As they walk past Ccino can hear them start muttering things. something about it becomign official.

What... what is becomign official?

Nim leads him towards a whole otehr wing and up a set off stairs. very deep into the castle. Ccino hasn't been here before. just saw the pathways on the map he was given when he first got here two months ago. one he was told to memorise.

They stop by a door and Nim opens the door.

It is a child's room?

Nim walks over and Ccino sees two cribs. One with a very detailed moon and one with a very detailed sun. There are healers in the room who are keeping a close eye on the two babies and some maids filter about. nurse maids?

Nim walks over to the crib with the sun and picks up one of the babies- that is a skeleton. a baby skeleton?

Nim waves him over nad Ccino follows the wordless comment.

Nim starts to speak "This. Is Dream. He is my heir and will become your king in thirdteen years." she kisses his little skull before pointing towards the other crib "That. is Nightmare. He will be Dream's...." she smirks "He will help Dream rise to his rightful position of king."

Ccino looks at the two babies before back at Nim. Not sure what she wants from him.

Nim doens't take issue with him being quiet as she just keeps talking "your purpose and main job. is to do whatever it takes to get both of them to the right age of thirdteen. Their schooling and training will be arranged by others. But you will be their main caretaker. You will feed them. bath them. Make sure they are rested. You will be there for whatever they need." she looks at him. "understood?"

Ccino isn't sure how good he is at taking care of babies?! It does explain the child book that was in the pile. He nods and bows "of course my king."

Nim nods and turns back to look... almost lovingl at Dream "When they time comes. when Dream becomes king. You will be his."

Ccino freezes. What?

Nim continues to speak "You will do whatever he wishes. YOu will be his first mate and by whatever he wants."

Ccino feels his throat locks up before he wheezes out "But! He will be thirdteen my king! I would be twenty!" that is weird. that is gross. and is disgusting?!

Nim chuckles and looks amused "There will be ritual. Which will make it able for dream to go from a weak child to who he was always meant to be. a powerful being rivalling the very gods." she kisses the little skull of the sleeping baby. She grins at him "I myself went from age fourteen to twenty four in one moment. body, mind and soul all immediantly to that stage. Not a single lingering emotion of feeling from childhood. The ability to leave childhood behind with just one single ritual. It is wonderful."

Ccino disagrees. He doesn't want to marry Dream?! Dream is a baby? One he is suposed to raise? It would be weird! It would be like him marrying his old babysitter? and she was nice but she was also really different?

Nim puts Dream back in the crib "You will be allowed entrance and the maids will continue to feed both the twins. Your focus will be on Dream. Dream needs the most attention and care. But make sure Nightmare is healthy." she leaves him frozen in place "You are dismissed."

Ccino stands there as he watcehs the healers and nurse maids go about their work. After they finish they leave the twins in their cribs and leave.

Ccino shakes as he looks at the two children. the two baby skeletons. One, nightmare, yawns and opens the sockets. He looks at him curiously before babbling and holding out a tiny hand to him. him being awake seems to wake Dream as well as the other twin does the exact same thing as Nightmare.

Twins.

Ccino holds out both his hands and lets the two tiny babies hold his fingers. watching the two babble and tug on his hands happily as he feels his world falling apart even further.

----

One of the few things he kinda likes here is the food. It is always delicious and rich of everything.

Even the servants eat well!

Ccino sits in his seat as food is served.

One of the few things he kinda likes is having dinner with the other servants. Sure they all shoot him looks and mutter about favouritism but at these moments no one really seems to care!

They hand out food. talk about some light gossip. Talk about which nobelman or woman and shooting them considering looks.

Ccino likes it. it almost feels less like a prison like this. And he feels abit more connected with the others.

His private room is nice but well... it shows how much he is singled out. How he has a different main job than the other people. How from the start his job was different.

Everyone knows it.

It is what the apples stand for apparently.

That you are owned by the king. or future king in his case.

He heard some coucil people talk about how much of a shame it was that he was offlimits.

Which Ccino really doens't want to think about.

But! the food!

He feels his magic yearn for the deliciousness. It looks like some slowly cooked meat with a lot of potatoes and vegetables!

Oh it is going to be so good and he will sleep well tonight!

A plate is set down before him and he grabs his fork and knife. Waiting until everyone is served and-

His plates gets taken away!?

He looks around with a glare but it melts away as he spots Nim! He looks down immediantly "my king?"

Everyone is quiet and waits.

Nim looks at the meal with a huff before pulling him upright. Ccino stands before the king and waits.

Nim huffs and she pokes his stomach "You really going to eat even more? When you already have fat building?"

Ccino is confused. Skeletons don't get fat? It is just how magic is stored? Ccino knows he has the same way of magical storage as his mom has... had. She was short and a bit wider than most monsters. But his dad always said she was the most beautiful monster so obviously she was? and dad always said he knew that ccino would be like her and ccino had been excited? because he would be pretty like his mom?

Nim shakes her head "a glutton. That is a habit we will need to cut off right away."

Ccino looks unsure at the plate that she just. throws out. wait?! But his dinner?!

Nim nods to herself as she looks at him "Your eating habits will be monitored. You are still growing and so it is most important you have the correct diet." And she leaves.

What... what just happened? where is his dinner... He looks confused at the others but no one is looking at him. They eat as if there is nothing strange going on and his dinner wasn't just thrown away.

He moves to get a bit of the leftovers. They are always allowed to grab those. But as he moves to get a few of the leftover potatoes a hand pulls him away from the food.

Ccino looks confused up at Sera "but... I didn't get food? I didn't get dinner?"

Sera looks unamused "Oh you can't be that much of an idiot. The king wants you thin. thin and pretty. Not fat and ugly. So you are going on a very special diet. You will know what you are allowed to eat." she points to the door.

Ccino looks wishfully at the wodnerful meal before hanging his skull and moving out of the room. He walks back to his own room and opens the door.

Hope blossoms as he sees a plate and he rushes over. Only for his smile to fall.

It is... some cauliflower, zuccini and eggs.

It isn't bad? It is okay he thinks? He takes his seat and eats his food. It fills okay but he still feels like it was a small portion... But... they seem convinced this is right for him... had he really just been eating a lot? Had he really been a glutton as Nim said he was.

Still he doens't feel that full but it has been a long day and he really jsut wants to sleep.

He lays the plate to the side to clean up before breakfast and gets ready for bed. He lays in his bed and closes his sockets. He will need to be up at 5 am again. Eat his breakfast and check the twins to help build a bond... then he has chores and rushing from place to place again and more time with the twins...

He... He isn't sure what to do... he isn't sure if he can do this... He just wants to go back home...

He wishes he had been with his parents inside the house.

----

He is tired.

He just wants to sleep.

It has been half a year now.

He doens't feel any less sad.

He is so hungry.

Ccino is only allowed one meal a day. in the morning. nothing else aside from water.

It always feels too small and ccino is convinced the portions are getting smaller. Is that really all he needs? It doesn't feel like enough... but aparently he doens't know.

Everyone tells him he doesn't know anything. That he is dumb.

Maybe they are right.

He just wants to cry.

He doesn't want to go back to his room. nobelmen have been hanging around the servants area and they always look at him in ways that make Ccino feel gross.

But he can't just sit here. He is near the warroom. Hiding. People don't usually come here unless they have to get to this room.

Ccino already spend his morning with the twins. He figures he should ahte them but they always look happy to see him and babble and they let him hug them.

He hasn't had a hug since he was taken.

He needs those hugs. Even if the twins don't know how much it means for him.

Ccino sighs as he remains in his little corner. at the moment not caring his shirt will most likely get dirty and messy by doing this. He just doesn't want to be anywhere near the visiting nobelmen and those hands that reach and touch.

He just wants to be left alone. He used to hate being alone but now being alone is better than having others near. Everyone is always mean.

Even if he is fat and stupid he doesn't want others to be mean. He is trying his best. he really is. He knows he isn't enough. He knows he needs to do better. but it is hard! He is trying to learn. He just.

He sniffs.

ccino rubs his sockets nad mutters "no... don't cry... they will hear you and be mad..."

He feels sick. he feels tired. he hasn't felt his magic in a while and he can't even see in the dark anymore. something that every skeleton should be able to do with magic. but he can't.

Again shows he is just not good enough.

a movement in the corner of his sight and he freezes. He sneaks a look and stares.

a... cat?

what is c at doing inside?

A beautiful big cat... one of those very wild cats that his dad used to talk about.. maine coons? Didn't those cats also hunt like... foxes or soemthing?

The cat turns the corner and Ccino rushes after it before speaking in a whisper "oh no kitty... you can't be inside..." Nim had once called all cats vernim and disgusting. something about cats not listening or something. Ccino needs to get the poor cat outside!

He turns the corner and looks around before seeing the cat near an armour set up as decoration.

Ccino inches closer and whispers "No please be careful. those things tend to fall over..." he had been locked in the dark room for hours on end when he knocked one over an accident "lets get you outside okay?" he sniffs as he tries to remove some of his last tears.

The cat looks.. weird? almost shining and... wait... the tail doesn't look like a normal tial but more like... it has tiny branches? huh?

The cat disappears from sight and Ccino gets to the armour. He grins as he looks around it but it falls as he can't see the cat. He looks around and spots that one of the tiles on the wall seems out of place.

Huh... he never noticed that before... He nudges the tile and a part of the wall opens.

It is a crawl space and he barely fits. Maybe the cat went in here?

He mutters softly "here kitty kitty. it is okay... i won't hurt you... i am just trying to get you outside so you aren't hurt by any of the guards." he can't see anything in here but... well.. it is warm and it seems clean.

The door had closed and while inside he can hear others move about their day in the castle.

It is like one of the servant tunnels but not as crowded as the others... Not to forget it isn't filled with dust and dirt and instead very clean and warm. No draft or anything.

Ccino yawns as he rolls up in the tunnel. He had been wanting to sleep after all... maybe a quick nap... that is all.

Something wakes him and Ccino looks around confused.

Is he in the dark room? but it doesn't feel the same... it feels cozy and warm. Like when he would wake up in a tiny blanket fort in the middle of the night.

More sounds and movement of armour and Ccino frowns. armour? moving? guards? was there something about-

The guarding ceremony!! That was in the afternoon and he was suposed to be there! Oh no that is all the way in the hall and it is a nightmare to get there!

He qucikly crawls forwards. Maybe if he gets out he can take another servant path down towards the kitchen and rush to the hall? that is probably the fastest way and- AH!

He suddenly slides down as the tunnel dips. He ends up sliding to a stop right before anotehr tiny door. He pusehs it aside nad steps out from... under the stairs in the main hall?

Huh?

The door slides shut behind him and Ccino looks back confused. How did that tunnel lead... the way he had entered hadn't even pointed in the right direction right? but the tunnel didn't curve like that and-

"Ccino!" a loud hiss.

Ccino looks over and sees someone else motion their head for him to join them. It is Robin!! They are awesome! Ccino rushes to their side and Robin quickly pats him down from any dirt before standing at attention again and handing him a plate for himself.

Ccino stands ready and waits. watching as more guards move into the hall.

He had been on time? somehow?

The guard ceremony goes on as some guards are officially made part of the team to guard the castle. Nim is there in person but just stare at them. With a wave she leaves while the guards all mutter about it being a big honour.

Ccino rushes to join the other servants in bringing around food and snacks for them to eat.

His magic and nonexisting stomach knot together at the sight of food but he ignores it. He is used to these feelings by now.

By the time they get to the end he makes a quick escape to check on the twins again. He notices that they both seem to be bored and spends some extra time playing and hugging them.

Nightmare and Dream both lean against him and babble about their days. probably. Ccino has no idea he doesn't speak baby.

Ccino grins "really? and what did you do then?"

Dream is smiling happily as he throws out his tiny arms and babbles loudly.

Ccino nods "oh so true! You are so right for having done that. And what did your teddy bear do then?"

Dream wiggles from side to side and babbles and blows a raspberry.

Ccino gasps "Oh no he did not."

Dream coos and manages to stick his own foot in his mouth.

Ccino nods and hums "so true buddy. so true." he looks at Nightmare "What did you do little nighty? You stopped any traitorous teddy bear?"

As soon as Ccino speaks to Nightmare he coos and snuggles clsoer. Ccino grins and nuzzles the tiny skull "I see. You had a very busy day. I can only imagine."

He makes sure both the twins drink some of their bottles nad helps them burp gently. After which he puts them both in their cribs and tugs them in "there. all snuggly and ready for bed. You two be good okay?"

the babies are both already asleep.

Ccino hums a happy tune as he leaves the room.

He feels... good? Who knew a good nap would work so well!

He gets back to the servants area and checks his to do list. All clean! which means he can go back to his room and maybe study some of the books he got. try to memorise more and-

Robin stops him "where did you come from in the hall?"

Ccino frowns "one of the pathways? there was one that lead from near the warroom to there?"

Robin frowns "You mean the one that leads the to servants area? You wouldn't have exited in the hall. the hall only has two and none of them are near the stairs?"

huh... but he...

ccino frowns "I... I thought that..." he looks down. He had been so sure? sure it had felt weird but he was sure that was the pathway he took.

Robin's own frown lifts as they smile "hey. No worries. You are stressed and honestly they put way too much pressure on you... Even I can see that and I have only been here a few weeks now!" They grin "Get some rest..." they frown at him "You seem like you need it..." they walk away as they mutter to themselves about him looking pale.

Ccino frowns as he goes back to his room. He lays in his bed and thinks.

No he is SURE he got into that crawlspace... and it lead to the hall. He is very sure about that...

Robin is new... maybe they just haven't discovered all the paths yet?

Ccino lays in bed before having enough. He leaves it and sneaks around the castle. he knows he shouldn't be out this late but he needs to check.

He gets to the hall and goes straight to the stairs. It looks like a normal wall.

He searches for the usual marks that indicate a servant passage but doesn't find any... huh... weird but he... he came from here...

He sighs as he leans against the wall and yelps as it gives way immediantly. laying half in and hald out of the crawl space.

...

Why does he get the feeling he just found something he wasn't suposed to find?

----

After his first secret passageway he spend a lot of time trying other random walls in his free time. He was nearing his one year aniversary but he has found many at this point.

He has paths that lead anywhere he wants to be. Even the stables!

Which. very much impossible seeing as those are a seperate building.

Sure the tunnel he found goes down adn then up a bit before he exits into the storage area of the stables but that still seems like a stretch.

Who makes a secret tunnel underground to lead to the stables from near the library?

The point is. Ccino has a cheat sheet!

It means he can get anywhere impossibly fast with a smile on his face.

Which some found weird but mostly people just sighed and muttered about him finally being able to do the work he is suposed to. Nim looked satisfied and spoke about Nim having picked the right one after all.

Ccino even has one that seems to go up inside a pillar as he can just climb up vertically to get from the groundfloor all the way to the west wing fifth floor!!

That normally is a nightmare to get to within fifteen!

Ccino does have to remind himself to be careful.

Seeing as one time he tripped and almost fell inside one of those vertical tunnels.

Only for his hand to just happen upon something to grab on.

Ccino had just hang there. By a tiny stone ledge that seemed like a root. One he had been so sure hadn't been there before. BEcause he checks those tunnels to make sure he knows how to move.

So he sat there. in the dark. Having been saved from a nasty fall by.... by something.

Ccino had put his hands together in a prayer and whispered "to the one watching. to the one who helps. I thank you. I have nothign to gift but wish you well. For you are bringing a light to the darkness of my life. Thank you." and he had bowed. and stayed bowed for a minute.

He didn't have anyhting to offer as tribute. Fearing it would lead to mice or rats and that Nim would notice. But he could mutter small prayers.

Nothing official. He had no idea how one prayed to a god. The only reason he knew that that is what people do is because Nim demanded them all to pray to her before they ate. because she was their god.

Each time before his own dinner in the forced privacy of his own room he would pray for whatever power was helping him instead. Thank you.

Thank you for seeing he needed help and being willing to gift it.

Ccino knows it is something. Because the next time he used that tunnel more root like stones had appeared that mimicked railings for him to grab. these had also appeared in the other vertical climbing tunnels.

There was something magical in this castle.

And Ccino is very sure... it isn't conencted to Nim.

[kimtaegis]

also my family came back from vacation today after a week, I had had to catsit yuki all week and it was genuinely a really lovely experience. especially since I’ve always been super scared and wary of animals, I’m so glad that I got to overcome that to a degree and had enough trust in myself to do that, young annie would be proud

[triumviiirate]

i spend a lot of time thinking about the empty space between jim and bones at spock's funeral

[hyunpic]

[wlw-webcomic-bracket]

Am I aware that adderall can’t do its job if I don’t get enough sleep?

Have I utterly failed to make use of this knowledge?

Am I, an entire adult with a wife and a salary, hoping “you wouldn’t want to disappoint HP, would you?” is the thing that finally motivates me to go to bed before two in the morning?

The answers to these questions will probably not surprise you!

[ananinidraws]

I don't really go there anymore (i refuse to play gachas now), but Wizard is very blorbo shaped, and i still like these older doodles of him <333

[eddiegotout]

ok well can we talk about eddie diaz again. and how he deserves to understand that desire, like the dishes, can also get done. just like in the douglas brown poem. and how buck could teach him this the same way eddie taught him consistency and family and perseverance.

[unspuncreature]

trans men please please please keep up with your pelvic health. find a provider who will listen to you and see you as you are. you have the right to good quality and affirming care

get your annual physical exam. regular std testing. pap smears. all of it

[isa-ah]

making a fursona is fun but getting to retire an old traumatized time capsule of yourself and make a new, happy, grown version of yourself is so fuckin nice.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

i want bix to deal with her trauma in messy fucked up ways in season 2. put actual healing second to avenging her old self. burn like a sun that destroys the empire around her while simultaneously consuming herself. suppress fear and sadness while trying to convert them into more, more, more rage. get beyond angry if anyone tries to stop her from her single-minded goal of killing every imperial on ferrix, even out of concern or to try to get her to take a break. meet up with cinta. burn hot in contrast to cinta's burning cold. detach from everything but reclaiming ferrix. realize at some point that the drive for revenge can’t sustain her and she's hollow and she's imploding but she can’t stop and she won’t stop she'd rather burn herself to ashes if it means taking just one more imperial with her

[fbwzoo]

It's been almost 9 months and it's still so exciting to see him CLIMB