#A Day Without Google Apps: The Good

[inkskinned]

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.

[readingwriter92]

My phone tabs situation is getting untenable again so I’m scrolling back thru fics I got open to see if there’s any I wanna finish

First thing I decide to open? Bsd your lie in April au. I left unread with three chapters left. And it’s so well fucking written but. Ooooof

[boywhatthehellboyc]

Stalker!Mark who started off just curiously googling your name, scrolling your socials. But now he knows the names of your coworkers, your favorite grocery store, what route you take to work. He keeps it all in a hidden notes app, neatly categorized by day and detail.

Stalker!Mark who flys a few feet behind you when you go out at night. Not close enough to be seen. Just enough to make sure you get home safe. Or to know where you’re really going if you lied. He doesn’t blame you after all girls have to be careful. But so does he.

Stalker!Mark who knows your schedule better than you do. He notices when you’re five minutes late. When you wear your “I’m tired” hoodie. When you’ve had a good date because you smile differently. He writes it all down like a researcher cataloging a rare species.

Stalker!Mark who sends you anonymous messages just to hear your voice read them out loud. Nothing creepy he swears! Just little compliments, observations. “You looked really happy today.” “That color looks amazing on you.” He gets off on your confusion, on how close he can be without revealing himself.

Stalker!Mark who buys your exact shampoo and uses it obsessively, not because he wants to smell like you, but because it makes his whole apartment feel like you’re there. He jerks off sometimes while it’s still in his hair, breathing heavy into the steam, whispering your name like it’s a prayer.

Stalker!Mark who watches through the crack of your blinds but not always. Just when he misses you. When he hasn’t seen enough skin that day. He’s not trying to catch you naked. But if your shirt slips off your shoulder or you walk around in a towel? He won’t look away. Won’t even blink.

Stalker!Mark who now lingers outside your window at night, just to see if you forget to pull your curtains closed again. Sometimes you do. Sometimes he sees you move around your room in your underwear, your back to the window, unaware that he’s watching. He can’t help himself. He stays just a little longer. Just long enough to imagine you’re doing it for him.

Stalker!Mark who breaks into your place not to steal anything, not even to snoop… but just to sit on your bed. To rub his hands over your sheets and press his face to your pillow while he palms himself through his jeans, breathing deep and slow like he’s trying to memorize your scent molecule by molecule.

Stalker!Mark who has cameras. Not in your room. Not yet. But in the hallway. The laundry room. Places where you might think you’re alone. He’s got clips saved of you yawning in oversized shirts, stretching against a wall, biting your nail while waiting for the dryer. He watches them like a lovesick pervert. Like they’re porn.

Stalker!Mark who jacks off not to nudes, but to the memory of you saying his name. Just once. Just soft. You laughed and said, “Thanks, Mark,” and it’s been replaying in his head every night since his hand moving slow while he imagines your lips parting for him again, but wetter. Needier.

Stalker!Mark who sends you anonymous gifts with no card but panties in your size, a new lotion you ran out of, lingerie you mentioned once while drunk. He gets off imagining you trying them on, wondering who sent them. Hoping you think it’s a secret admirer. Not your best friend. Not your roommate. Not the guy who watches you sleep through a tiny crack of your curtain.

[kxsagi]

Hiii, first of all i want to say that your writing is sooo good.like you're literally my fave author in this app and I love how you characterize the bl boys. Anyways can I request blue lock guys with a single mom reader and how the guys react to the fact that she's a single mom(maybe the father left reader when she got pregnant or you can write whatever scenario you want regarding the bio father) and their interaction with reader's child. If you could, pls include isagi, bachira, nagi, reo, rin and sae.

Also take care and have a great day<333

“𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩”

a/n: OMG TYSM??? AAA THAT IS SO SWEET! take care and have a great day as well you pretty soul ❤️

i love the domestic fluff behind this request + reader def has another kid with them after

ft. isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, itoshi rin, itoshi sae

isagi yoichi

he’s surprised at first, but not in a bad way, just wide-eyed, taking it all in. 

“you’re a mom?” he blinks. “like… a real one? like… diapers and everything?” 

once he processes it, he’s all in. 

isagi grew up with supportive parents, so he has a lot of respect for the strength it takes to raise a kid alone. 

if you tell him the father walked out on you, he gets super serious, quiet and tense in a way you haven’t seen before. 

“you don’t have to tell me everything now, but if he ever tries to come back, you let me deal with him.” and the way he says it? dead serious. 

when he meets your kid for the first time, he brings a little soccer ball and awkwardly crouches down like he’s meeting royalty. 

“hi! i’m… yoichi. i kick balls for a living.” 

you: “okay let’s… rephrase that.” 

but it works. he’s silly, energetic, and so patient – your kid absolutely adores him. 

he’ll start doing commentary while the kid’s eating cereal, like it’s a world cup final. 

“AND HE SCORES THE LAST FROOT LOOP! WHAT A LEGEND!” 

you catch him googling “how to be a good stepdad” at 3 AM. you don’t bring it up. but you definitely screenshot it. 

bachira meguru

bachira lights up when you tell him. 

“you have a little gremlin too?!” 

he’s thrilled. he doesn’t ask anything about the father unless you bring it up. he’s more focused on how he can be a fun and loving person in your child’s life. 

he sees your kid and immediately goes “wanna see my monster voice?” and makes the weirdest, funniest noise ever. 

the two of them are chaotic together. 

you walk into the living room and there’s glitter everywhere, paper hats on both of them, and he’s letting your kid draw a mustache on his face. 

“we’re pirates now,” bachira says, completely serious. “you have to pay the glitter tax.” 

when your kid calls him “meguru,” he beams. when they accidentally call him “dad” one day? he tears up a little. 

you: “you okay?” 

him, teary-eyed: “i would die for that child.” 

also probably teaches your kid to climb furniture and you have to ban them from the couch for a week. 

nagi seishiro

“oh,” he says when you tell him, blinking slowly. “that’s kinda cool.” 

nagi doesn’t react big. he just accepts it immediately, like it’s just another part of you. 

but inside? he’s kind of in awe. like you raised a tiny human? by yourself? sounds exhausting. 

“you must be really strong,” he mumbles, head on your shoulder. 

he’s surprisingly good with kids. laid-back, unbothered, and doesn’t treat them like they’re fragile. 

your child is obsessed with sitting on his shoulders while he walks around the apartment like a lazy giraffe. 

he lets them play games on his phone, and one time they accidentally deleted a rare gacha pull. he just shrugged. 

“they’re more fun to hang out with than reo.” 

he naps with them on the couch and sleeps through them using his hair as a blanket. 

he gets attached without even noticing. one day he buys a switch for them and says it’s “because they’re annoying when they’re bored” but you find it in his shopping history under “gift for my mini me.” 

itoshi rin

freezes when you tell him. 

absolutely panics inside but tries to stay stoic. 

“oh. okay. i see.” (he doesn’t see anything. his brain is buffering.) 

but once he calms down, he starts asking thoughtful, gentle questions. 

“what do they like to eat?” 

“do they know their father?” 

“are you… okay?” 

when you explain your ex bailed after the pregnancy, he clenches his jaw and gets really quiet. 

he just nods and says, “that’s not your fault. he’s pathetic.” 

rin’s not the best with kids at first. he’s awkward, stiff, stands like a statue, but he’s trying so hard. 

your kid hands him a toy and rin just… holds it. like it’s a grenade. 

“do i… do i play with it?” 

but one afternoon, your kid falls asleep on his lap and something in him just softens. 

from then on, he’s all in. buys extra snacks for them, watches their shows even if he doesn’t get them. 

“this blue dog… why is he emotional?” 

“it’s bluey, rin. let it happen.” 

itoshi sae

you expect him to be judgmental. he’s not. at all. 

he hears “i’m a single mom” and just says “okay.” 

“you’re still hot. and you’re a good mom. sounds like a win to me.” 

he doesn’t ask about the father unless you bring it up. when you do, he’s indifferent on the outside, but furious on the inside. 

“he left? while you were pregnant?” 

you nod. 

he just hums and says, “if he shows up, tell him to meet me. i’ll ruin his life.” 

when he meets your kid, he keeps his usual cool attitude, but your child’s the only one who gets to see him smile freely. 

your kid: “can you make silly faces?” 

sae: “no.” 

also sae, five seconds later: pulling the most cursed expression you’ve ever seen. 

he buys expensive stuff for your kid without blinking – custom sneakers, private tutors, limited edition toys. 

“i like spoiling them. deal with it.” 

you catch him once, watching your kid sleep while he absentmindedly brushes their hair out of their face. 

he looks at you and says, “this is the only family i’ve ever actually wanted.” 

yeah. you cry. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[mintyys-blog]

Mark Grayson with a starfire best friend reader fic would be so cutesy

MOMENTS WITH Y/N | mark grayson x starfire! reader

INVINCIBLE MASTERLIST | WARNINGS:

Mark, Eve, and Y/N were in France for a quick mission clean-up—simple recon, in and out. But you were you, and so nothing ever stayed simple.

“We need directions,” Eve muttered, glancing down at her map app, frowning. “This whole street’s a maze.”

Mark groaned. “I forgot how much I hate navigating without GPS.”

The locals around were all speaking rapid Spanish, and while Mark and Eve both fumbled with the idea of Google Translate, you were already scanning the crowd, calm and curious.

And then—without a word—you floated off.

“Wait—where’s she going?” Mark asked, already concerned.

“I don’t know,” Eve said, eyes narrowing as you walked right up to a couple at an outdoor café.

Without hesitation, you leaned down… and kissed the man right on the lips.

His date let out a gasp, eyes wide in complete horror.

The man? Absolutely flustered. Blushing. Mouth still open in shock.

You simply smiled, thanked them in perfect French, and floated back over to Mark and Eve, looking extremely pleased with yourself.

Eve blinked. “Y/N—what the hell was that?!”

“I now speak French,” you said brightly. “It is one of the methods of language absorption on my planet. Lip contact transfers dialects.”

Mark nearly choked. “You kissed a random guy?!”

You tilted your head, confused. “Yes. He had nice lips and seemed very open to the experience.”

Eve had to physically turn around to keep from laughing too hard. Mark was red from forehead to collarbone. “I’m going to pretend none of that happened,” he muttered.

“I am now fluent,” you added proudly. “Would you like me to ask where the villain’s lab is? Or perhaps where to get the most delicious baked goods?”

“Ask for both,” Eve said, wiping tears from her eyes. “And maybe check if that girl’s okay. She looked ready to vaporize you.”

“She’ll be fine,” you said, already drifting off toward a bakery. “Love is confusing, but croissants are not.”

Mark stared after you. “She’s going to get us arrested one day.” Eve grinned. “Yeah, but she’s going to do it in style.”

It was supposed to be a chill night in.

Mark had insisted—no fighting, no missions, no accidental international incidents involving language-transfer kisses. Just junk food, movies, and human normalcy.

But there was one problem: You had never seen a horror movie before. And Mark? Well, he forgot to tell you it was a horror movie.

“Why is the girl walking into the creepy basement?” you asked, tilting your head, wide-eyed. “There are knives hanging from the ceiling. That is not a welcoming sign.”

Eve snorted. “That’s the fun of it. Humans make stupid decisions under stress. It’s the entire genre.”

You frowned. “But she could fly away. Or incinerate the killer with a single photon pulse.”

“Yeah, but she can’t. She’s normal.” You gasped. “…Then she is doomed.”

And then came the jump scare. A loud, screeching violin stab and a grotesque monster bursting from the shadows.

You SHRIEKED. Not in fear. In battle mode.

Eyes glowing, hair lifting with radiant power, hands blazing—you flipped the couch and blasted the TV with a concussive energy ball that ripped the wall open.

Mark dove behind the overturned table. “Y/N—NO!”

Smoke cleared. The TV sparked. The wall was… missing. You stood there breathing heavily, glowing with power and confusion. “The creature has been vanquished. You are welcome.”

Mark slowly peeked up from behind the furniture. “…That was The Conjuring.”

You blinked. “The what?”

Eve sighed from the floor, covered in popcorn. “We really need to ease you into Earth entertainment.”

The next week, you saw a sign on a bar that said “Karaoke Night.” You marched in confidently.

Mark and Eve followed quickly, both already afraid. “I am prepared for battle,” you announced, floating up to the stage. “Let the singing duel begin!”

“You don’t have to fight anyone—” Mark tried to say.

But you grabbed the mic with the focus of a warrior and belted out a cosmic, passionate version of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.”

You didn’t just sing. You hovered midair, glowing and sparkly and dramatic as hell, hitting high notes that cracked glasses and made the bartender weep.

The bar went silent when you landed, striking a pose. A beat passed. Wild cheering erupted. Someone threw a rose. Another person shouted, “SING ANOTHER ONE!”

You bowed deeply. “I accept your surrender.”

Later that night, the three of you walked home under the city lights.

“Okay,” Mark said, shaking his head. “So far we’ve accidentally kissed a guy in France, destroyed my mom’s TV, and started a fan club in a karaoke bar.”

You smiled, sipping your bubble tea with a look of pride. “Earth is full of many rituals. I am simply learning.”

Eve looped her arm through yours, grinning. “You’re getting the hang of it.”

“Do not worry, Mark,” you said, giving him a pat on the head. “Soon I will be indistinguishable from your people.”

Mark deadpanned. “You literally float.”

You shrugged. “So do some of your buildings.”

He stared. “…What buildings?”

“I may have misunderstood something.” You look away, then turn on your heel as Mark calls after you, “Y/N! What did you mean by that?!”

“Tonight,” you announced, floating above Mark’s living room, arms raised dramatically, “we engage in the ritual of ‘sleep… over.’”

Mark blinked up at you from the couch, a blanket halfway over his lap. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

“I was told it is sacred,” you said, landing gently. “Pillows, snacks, emotional vulnerability. There may also be nail polish.”

Eve grinned from the kitchen, holding a tray of microwave s’mores. “She’s not wrong.”

You arrived wearing what could only be described as a battle-ready space onesie. It glowed softly and shimmered every time you moved.

Eve gave you a pair of fuzzy socks and a pink hoodie that said “Slay the Day.” You loved it so much, you cried for five minutes and declared it your new armor.

“This is the softest material in existence,” you whispered, clutching the sleeves. “I am wearing Earth’s love.”

An hour later, you were mid-pillow fight.

You were winning. By a lot.

“NO POWERS!” Mark shouted, getting launched off the couch by a pillow so charged with energy it left a dent in the wall.

“Oh,” you said innocently, holding the glowing pillow. “My bad.”

Eve was wheezing on the floor. “She just straight-up airbent that thing.”

Later, wrapped in blankets and lit only by fairy lights, the three of you laid on the floor in a pile of popcorn and half-empty soda cans.

“This is nice,” you said, eyes twinkling. “You are my favorite Earthlings.”

“You’re our favorite space goddess,” Eve murmured sleepily.

Mark yawned. “Just don’t vaporize our next movie.”

“No promises.”

The next day was the Fashion Show Fundraiser for Global Relief. Eve was invited to design eco-friendly hero looks, and she brought you and Mark along as models.

“I am ready,” you said, stepping out of the dressing room.

Mark and Eve stared.

You wore an outfit made of cosmic-inspired fabrics, glowing in shades of nebula pink and deep star blue. It trailed behind you like you were walking through a galaxy. And the heels? Seven inches. Floating slightly above the floor. You looked like the embodiment of a supernova on a runway.

“I thought this was supposed to be… sustainable,” Mark whispered.

“She is sustainability,” Eve replied.

Then came the walk. Mark shuffled down the runway awkwardly in his recycled-fabric jumpsuit.

Then Eve, graceful and powerful in a sleek, geometric dress made from reconstituted polymers.

Then you. You floated down the runway. Literally. Arms raised. Spotlights dimming as your body naturally glowed. The crowd gasped.

You struck a pose at the end, tilted your chin up, and released a gentle ripple of light through the air like stardust.

The audience gave a standing ovation. Someone cried. The DJ fainted.

⸻

Backstage, Mark was lying on the floor.

“I am not walking next to her ever again.”

Eve patted his shoulder. “You tried your best.”

You walked up, eating a fruit bar. “Did I understand the assignment correctly?”

Mark sighed. “…Honestly? You kinda slayed.”

You beamed. “I knew the hoodie had power.”

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[beegalactica]

hot girl tips to be more productive

With a million things to do, where do we find the time? Sometimes it can be so easy to just procrastinate, not do your work and keep pushing it back till it's too late. Let's not do that anymore.

5-minute rule - start small. If you've been putting something off for a long time, trying to commit 1 hour to it can be challenging. You can't do a marathon without a warm-up first! Could you set a timer for 5 minutes to do that task? After 5 minutes if you want to continue, go for it; if you don't, that's okay, because at least you've done 5 minutes today, which is better than 0. Tomorrow or later in the day, try to challenge yourself to do 7 minutes this time, then 10, then 15, and you will get into that rhythm.

Eliminate distractions - it's all because of that damn phone 🙄 but seriously, tech and social media can have such a tight grip over our productivity and our attention. If you cannot control your usage, set app timers that lock the app after you use it for a certain amount of time or delete the app. I've been using a minimalist phone launcher called 'OLauncher' that removes all my icons and makes me manually have to type and search for the app. In the time it takes me to search for the app, I get to ask myself, "What am I looking for? Do I need to use it for something specific or do I just want to scroll?"

Schedule properly - note down all your commitments and non-negotiables in an app like Google Calendar and make sure all your big events are displayed there. Some people can fall into the habit of planning every second of their day, but I instead delegate a few tasks to each day and give myself any time within the day to complete them, the important thing being not when I do them, but that I do them in the end.

Write to-do lists - now this doesn't just mean in-app lists, which are very useful. Physically write them out. I use a scrap piece of paper and I write: "Today I WILL..." and then list all the things I want to get done. Having it written down helps me commit to it more and the feeling of ticking it is so satisfying.

Know your WHY - Why are you doing this? Why do you want to be more productive? Why do you want to study more? Always look at the bigger picture. Where do you want to be and how will your productivity help you get there?

Celebrate your wins - whether you completed all the things on your to-do list or just one, be proud of it. Some days, you will feel super motivated and fly through all your tasks, and other days you just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Making an effort is the first step to your success.

No matter whether your goal is to complete a project, get good grades, get into the school of your dreams, or just get your work out of the way so you can focus on other things, tackle it little by little. Just 20 minutes every day for a week is better than trying to do 140 minutes worth of work on the last day.

[bloomzone]

skincare mindset ?

So what if your skin has breakouts? So what if someone points it out? Your beauty, confidence, and power don’t disappear because of acne !Real beauty isn’t about perfectionit’s about being you .

You are strong enough to face the world, with or without clear skin. Keep showing up, keep taking care of yourself, and keep loving the person you are beyond the surface. Because u exactly as you are are already enough.

There will be days when your skin feels like a battle, when you avoid mirrors, when you wonder if people are staring. But listen your skin is not your enemy. It is healing, growing, and protecting you every single day. Instead of criticizing it, start appreciating it.

Every small act of care washing your face, applying moisturizer, choosing not to pick is a step forward. Even if progress feels slow, u are healing pooks

And to those who mock, judge, or act superior because they don’t have acne their words do not define you. Their validation is not needed. You don’t owe anyone “perfect” skin to be worthy of respect, love, or confidence.

Walk into every room knowing that you are enough, exactly as you are. Your skin is a part of you, but it does not define your beauty or your power.

also it's easy to feel discouraged when someone with flawless skin claims they only use water or some 1k dollars products but your skin has different needs and that’s okay and you are not forced to buy flipping shh that y'know damn it's just aesthetic . Instead of chasing quick fixes , build a routine that works for you.

Start with the basics and go to a parapharmacie and ask about what is right for u : a gentle cleanser to remove dirt and oil, a moisturizer to keep your skin hydrated, and sunscreen to protect it. acne ? add products that support healing, like niacinamide, salicylic acid, or a soothing toner there is no shame in googling ur needs and know the acids that ur skin need to feel calmer and healthier. But remember less is more. Overloading your skin with too many products won’t speed up results it might just make things worse.

The problem arises when tiktok viral skincare “cures” are presented as quick fixes, and many users expect instant results, leading to impatience. This unrealistic expectation can cause frustration when results aren’t immediate, and people begin to doubt their routine or skip essential steps . Worse, influencers might promote products that don’t align with their actual skin type or needs, leading to confusion among followers who are still figuring out their own skin.

Filters and editing apps only add to the distortion. Everyone looks flawless in the perfect lighting or when skin is digitally smoothed. This creates an unrealistic standard that makes those with natural skin feel less than. It’s hard to focus on what’s healthy when your feed is filled with “perfect” skin, and everyone seems to have found the one magic mask or whatever..

In reality, skincare is a long-term journey, and no product or trend will work for everyone. What works for someone else may irritate your skin or give no results at all. The constant influx of trends makes us forget that our skin isn’t a trend to be followed it’s a unique part of our body that deserves patience, self-care, and a personalized routine.

Be cautious of what you see online and take advice with a grain of salt. Don’t let any social media platform pressure you into thinking your skin isn’t good enough because it doesn’t match the “perfect” standards set by influencer Not because you don’t use high-end products like La Mer, glowrecipe, or drunk elephant means you’re failing at skincare. Your skin’s journey is your own and it’s okay if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s .

Don’t fall into the trap of quick fixes or comparisons. Instead, remember that every step you take in your skincare routine is a chance to show yourself love, to slow down and care for your body. u are worthy of care

with love @bloomzone

[chimchiri]

hello! I love your art! I just wanted to know if you use references for your poses and if so where you get them (if you're ok with sharing) thanks and keep making great stuff!

Yes! I use references a lot! I'd say about 50% of all pieces I depend on some form of refs.

I am not the best at figuring out dynamic or interesting poses. And using references always gives a better understanding and a nice body flow. It just looks nicer. Sometimes I make them myself, sometimes I google or go to specific sites. It kinda depends. But when I notice I struggle I always go for refs.

When I don't have a specific pose but just the general Idea in mind, I just google "X stock photo" and browse through them until I find one that speaks to me. The watermarked photos are usually big enough for me to use so I never really buy them.

If I already have a pose in mind and I feel I need some help, I either google and or will use aphrite (for whole body refs) or this website (for specific body parts) which name I don't even know? Since I started actively practicing, there's been less of a need for references to get the pose I want properly on the canvas, because I'm better at understanding the body. I still use them a looooot though.

If it's just a small detail I can't get right(usually hands) I will either make a ref myself or take a photo of my partner (he's used to spontaneous photo shoots lmao)

Sometimes I also just need a quick check of how different body parts align and will go look in the mirror (without taking a photo). Like for this one, I struggled while drawing and wondered if I truly understood how the arms aligned. Turned out I didn't draw it correctly initially.

For certain characters I also have a 'face claim' and have a loooot of saved references for all kinds of angles. But I'm not showing those because I don't want to reveal them. I just always make sure it's someone where I can get a lot of photos from different angles.

Vizref is an amazing app for storing and sorting references if you're working on an iPad. Definitely worth the $. I use it strategically for single pieces where I have lots of inspo and refs, or sometimes face claims and my own art of characters so I remember how the fuck I drew them lmao

For things you draw a lot: I also got myself a cheap cowboy hat and foam head for Applejack specifically, since finding cowboy hat references for that specific angle I'm looking for is often near impossible.

I don't like to search for long so I tend to use google + the above for any specific search. But when I practice I love to go to stock photo artists. They all have a large portfolio and a LOT of photos for free (do check their terms of use though, especially when money is involved).

You should check out their patreons because you get A LOT of value for a very good price (approx 1.5$ - 5$). But again, they all also have a lot of photos out there for free.

@adorkastock - A lot of different models and body sizes - Wings! Oh my god those are to day still the best references EVER. - ginormous archive jesus christ -> Patreon -> Website -> Bluesky -> Instagram

@null-entity - Very creative poses, props - a lot of action (imo the best) - also creates quite a lot 360° rotation videos - ducks -> Patreon -> Instagram -> Twitter

@jookpubstock - lots of interesting lighting refs - also wears a lot of suits and cool outfits (love it) -> Patreon -> Website -> Bluesky -> Twitter

TrueRef (not on tumblr?) - High-res photos, honestly insane quality (very professional) - enhanced/more extreme angles/foreshortening - a bit more pricey -> Patreon -> Website -> Bluesky -> Twitter

Whew, long answer! Hope that helps you out! Don't hesitate to use references! As you can see I take them pretty serious as well and incorporate them in different forms into a lot of art.

Happy drawing!

[enflixx]

what it almost was - jake sim

summary: Where first impressions were everything, until he ghosts her without any explanation. Still mourning the unfinished connection, months later fate brings them together as coworkers on a project. Facing their past, chemistry reignites and what it almost was beginning to feel like what this still could be.

genre: fluff, just a little angst warnings: small kiss at the end!

word count: 1603

First impression were everything, and you believed in it very much so. Even months later you remember his profile, it made you laugh out loud and giggle to yourself.

Not a chuckle. An actual laugh that echoed throughout your flat, with your takeout halfway to your lips.

His bio read: "If I beat you at COD (call of duty), pretend it doesn’t hurt your ego. Professional overthinker. Swipe right if you like good bad jokes and great playlists."

Scanning through his profile more in depth this time, you saw that his name was Jake. Just Jake. You liked that it wasn’t too much, no unnecessary emojis, no weird spellings. Just Jake.

The photos that accompanied his humorous bio with matched his vibe perfectly. There was one of him grinning widely with a dog. Another where he was seen mid laugh surrounded by friends. And one candid that you kept scrolling up to look at even though it was just him holding up fried chicken. You liked his collage. How simplistic everything was, nothing overly posed or screaming attention, just a genuine vibe. His profile was something you swore was perfect.

Immediately interested, you swiped right. No more than 2 seconds passed before he matched back immediately. The notification almost scaring you at how speedy he was.

Following this, his first message flowed in and you could remember it right off the top of your head.

Jake [10:48]: Okay, you’re stranded on a desert island, you can only bring three albums, one irrational fear, and one snack. Go.

You stared at it for a second, grinning. What kind of question was that? But you liked it. yourusername [10:49]: I got u. The Secret of Us by Gracie Abrams, Pure Heroine by Lorde, and the Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack. Escalators, don’t ask. And gummies by far."

Jake [10:49]: Elite snack choice. Solid music. And now I’m definitely asking. Escalators?

yourusername [10:50]: Something about standing still while moving freaks me out. It's unnatural and freakish.

Jake [10:50]: That’s fair. Mine is thunder. I know. Shameful.

yourusername [10:50]: Honestly? Valid. The sudden loud noise is insanely unnecessary for some light.

Jake [10:50]: "See? I knew you’d get it."

The conversation rolled on from there, smooth and steady. The banter felt easy. Natural. Like you’d known him longer than a handful of days.

You remember thinking, maybe this could be something.

And then...nothing.

No response to your last message. No follow up no nothing. You waited. Checked. Multiple times at that. Even told yourself you were being ridiculous, that maybe he got busy, maybe he lost interest, maybe he died (you even Googled his name just once, just to be sure).

But the truth was simple: he ghosted you.

And you were left staring at the chat that once made your day a little brighter, feeling like you'd imagined the whole connection.

Months passed. You dated other people. Deleted the app. Redownloaded it. Deleted it again. Life moved on in steps.

And then came the new job.

The office was sleek, full of exposed brick and too many succulents. Almost the epitome of millennial gray. But your new boss, Heeseung, was sharp-eyed and over-caffeinated. You liked him instantly.

"You’ll be paired with Jake for the next campaign," he said mid sip on his third celsius of the day, and already halfway through typing an email. He looked at you with a reassuring look "He's good don't worry. I'd even say he's the best at the company but he's a bit of a lone wolf, but you'll be fine."

You froze.

Jake?

Couldn’t be. It’s a common name. But a small, impossible voice inside you whispered, what if it is?

You meet him in the conference room. He’s late, of course. You’re halfway through rereading the campaign brief when the door opens and someone steps in.

It’s him.

You know it immediately. His hair's a little shorter, and he’s wearing different glasses now, but it’s him. Jake. From tinder. From the chat. From the quiet disappointment that followed you months until now.

His eyes widen a fraction when he sees you. A flicker of something passes between you. Recognition? Surprise? Maybe even guilt?

"Hi," he says. "I'm Jake Sim. Looks like we’ll be working together."

He doesn’t say anything else. Not about the app. Not about ghosting. Just offers his hand like you’re strangers. You wanted to testify this, but here you are just strangers.

You take it. Firm shake. Professional smile. But inside, you’re screaming.

The first week is awkward.

You’re polite. Distant. But not cold, just enough to keep a safe buffer and hide your recognition. He acts like nothing happened, talking to you as if you skipped your precious sleep for him. Which is infuriating. But oddly respectful, you can’t decide which but honestly you're tired from the campaign.

Your work stretches out late one evening, both of you lingering over edits and stubborn copy changes. The office is quiet, everyones gone. The city lights spilling in from the windows and the cool breeze from the wind makes a more apparent presence than either of you. But he breaks first.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

You pretend not to understand at first. "Talk about what?" A sense of hesitation was found in your words, refusing to admit to it before he did.

He doesn’t smile. Just looks at you, steady. "About tinder?"

There it is.

You don’t reply right away. The silence stretches, elastic and thin.

"Well you ghosted," you say finally.

He nods. Doesn’t argue.

"Yeah. I guess I did."

You wait for the excuses to follow. The ridiculous justification, but it doesn’t come.

Instead, he says, "I was dealing with some things all of a sudden. Bad timing. I know that’s not a great excuse. I just… disappeared. And I shouldn’t have."

You don’t know what to say. So you shrug. "It sucked."

"I know."

He means it. You can tell. There’s no smugness, no deflection. Just regret and some sadness.

The conversation doesn’t fix everything. But it softens the atmosphere. Loosens the knot in your chest you held up trying to avoid this confrontation.

After that night, something shifts. Slowly at first. Like a door creaking open, not enough to step through, but enough to know it’s no longer locked and guarded.

He starts leaving small notes on your desk, funny doodles on the company post-its, and even adding compliments on your copies. You catch him watching you sometimes during the brainstorming sessions, like he’s seeing you for the first time with that glint in his eyes, not just remembering you.

One afternoon, you’re both walking back from a client meeting. Again, he breaks the silence first."You still listen to the Spider-Verse soundtrack?" You smile, surprised he remembered. Staring up at him with a smile plastered all of your face, you begin to notice the details of him you hadn't before. The way his hair swooped like Zayn Malik, or the way his coat effortlessly drapes over his broad shoulders. It was like you were stuck in a trance, but breaking it before he noticed.

"It’s still in my rotation," you say.

He grins. "Good. I was worried you’d moved on to something less cool."

You nudge him playfully. "You’re lucky I didn’t block you across all platforms after what you pulled."

He nods in strong agreement. "I am. I really am." You could tell he was being sincere with the way he carried his tone, how you could detect some relief in his voice, and the smile he kept up.

You’re not sure when it happens, but the awkwardness fades. The space between you shrinks. The laughter becomes easier, the silences more comfortable than ever. Oh, and he's more handsome than ever. Or maybe it was just you noticing it finally.

One day he brings you sour gummy worms without a word and sets them beside your laptop. You look up. He just winks and walks off. Probably thinking he was so nonchalant, before stumbling on the cubicle trash bin.

Giggling to yourself at his foolishness,you realize: you’re not waiting for an apology anymore. He’s already giving you something better, consistency. Presence. Effort. (the trifecta)

One night, after a successful pitch meeting and too much champagne, you both end up walking the long way to the train station. The streets of Seoul are quiet. Your hands brush. Once. Then twice.

He looks at you.

"Can I ask you something weird?" He breathed out.

You raise an eyebrow. "Sure."

"Do you ever think or wonder about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t ghosted?"

You don’t answer right away. Just glance up at the city skyline. Then back to him.

"Yeah," you say. "Sometimes."

He smiles, a little sad. A little hopeful. But a smile at that.

"Me too."

You stop walking. He does too.

"I don’t want to wonder anymore," he says, then pauses. You look up at him, realizing the intent of his words. "Not if there’s still a chance."

You feel your heart beat. Then another. And you just couldn't wait for another to pass.

So... you kiss him.

It’s hesitant at first. Soft, just to test. But when he exhales like he’s been holding his breath for months, his hand finds your waist, and everything else fades out. The city noise, the months between you, even the ghost of what it almost was. Because now, it definitely what this is.

Maybe this isn’t where your story started. But maybe, just maybe, it’s where it really begins.

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (34/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: The boat that's actually a yacht - and it's just the two of you.

Warnings: fluff, minimal angst, Google translated French, no knowledge of boats

Word Count: 3.9k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: we're back bitches!!! love you. feedback is appreciated!

"What do we need?" you ask, taking a sip of your coffee. "Apart from Kika's spontaneous photos, I've only taken pictures of inanimate objects so far. And the one of you."

Charles shrugs his shoulders. "When Joris and I take photos together, we'll pack a bag of different clothes." When you raise an eyebrow in confusion, Charles purses his lips. "We always take several photos, for several posts. If we don't have time to take new pictures, we always have some in stock that we can use without them looking like old pictures."

"Okay." You put your mug down on the work surface in front of you. "Anything else?"

Your roommate grins. "Your camera."

"Haha." You toss it off with a kitchen towel. "I mean, do you need anything else in the way of props or anything?"

He shakes his head. "Actually, no. Everything you could possibly need for a photo shoot is already on the boat." He nods towards the hallway. "You just need long clothes in case it gets colder later."

You nod. "All right. Then you pack a bag with the things you need and I'll pack one with clothes I can wear if it gets cold later." You walk around the kitchen island towards the hallway. 

"And don't forget your camera." You can even hear the smirk, which is why you give him the middle finger without turning around. 

As you stand in your room, you don't really know what to pack. 

Although it's supposed to be twenty degrees outside - which sounds totally surreal for a day before Christmas - your weather app tells you that it's going to be almost three degrees at night. 

"How long are we staying on the boat?" you shout loudly so that Charles can hear you. You throw a large bag on the bed. 

"No idea," says Charles calmly. When you turn around, he's standing in the doorway. "You and I can leave after the pictures. Or stay there all day. Or the night." He shrugs his shoulders. "There's no time when the boat has to be back in port."

You sigh. "I'm afraid that doesn't help me much." You point to the bag on the bed. "I can't pack my entire closet, Charles. Tell me what to pack." You look at him pleadingly. 

"All right." He enters your bedroom and looks around before reaching for some clothes lying on the floor. "Here, the sweatpants are good. If you want to lie out on the sun bed in the evening, you'll need these." He tosses them to you. You catch them and fold them up to stow them neatly in your bag. "Do you have comfy socks or something?" 

"Ehm, yeah," you say, pulling some out of the pile of clothes Kika left there and tucking them into the side pocket of the bag.

Charles kneels down on the floor and sifts through the pile at your feet. "You'll definitely need a thick sweater. It's going to be pretty windy when we're out at sea." He rummages around in your clothes until he fishes out a black sweater and holds it out to you. "Tada."

The first thing you notice about the sweater is that it's not yours. The black hoodie is too big to be yours. The second thing you notice about it is that it's the sweater Charles gave you the night you went to your favorite place. 

The night Charles showed you his talent on the piano. The night you almost kissed. It feels like it was a lifetime ago. 

You can't tell Charles that you don't want to wear the sweater, even though it's incredibly comfortable. It certainly still smells like Charles, although perhaps not as strongly - after all, he hasn't worn it for days. You don't want to be wrapped up in his scent and be at risk of getting weak. The distance that needs to exist between you is the right thing to do. 

Charles looks at you questioningly from the floor and you realize you've already hesitated too long.

"That - that's not my sweater," you simply say. 

Your friend examines the sweater in his hand. "Really?" he asks, confused, smelling the collar. "But it smells like you."

You shake your head. "That's yours. You - uh - you lent it to me when we went to petits mondes," you explain as he folds the fabric and puts it to one side. 

"Oh. Right." He looks at the sweater before his gaze lands on you again. "You can keep it if you want."

You wave it off. "It's all right. Thanks for letting me borrow it. But it's yours after all, so..." You step nervously from one foot to the other. 

Charles watches you for a moment and then turns away. "All right, then. How about this one then?" He pulls another sweater out of the pile of laundry. This time it's actually yours. It's white, with red stripes on it and the collar reaches up to your chin. You definitely won't catch a cold in this. 

"It's good," you reply with a smile and catch it as he throws it to you. You fold it before putting it in your pocket as well. "What about your clothes? Do you want them in the bag too?" you ask him, hoping that he will take his clothes separately and not infect your clothes with his smell. 

Charles gets up from the floor. "I'll pack my own bag. You still have to pack your camera," he smiles, patting non-existent dust off his pants. "About the trip to the port..." he begins, rubbing the back of his neck. 

You grab your camera bag and stow it next to your clothes in your bag. Hopefully the spare battery is charged. "Hmm?"

"I suggest we take your car and I'll drop you off. Then you won't have to walk far to get to the boat," he explains. "I'll park your car in a side street and then join you. Then we won't be seen together."

You look at him, confused. "Can people just get on your boat like that? Aren't you afraid that some crazy fans will suddenly come out of - I don't know - your cabin?"

Charles has to smile. "Someone will be waiting for you there. They'll let you on the boat."

Embarrassed, you curl your lips into a thin line. Of course there's someone at the docks to make sure no one sneaks onto strangers' boats. "Okay."

You stand opposite each other, undecided, until Charles takes the first step. "I'll just pack my bag and then we can go." Smiling, he disappears from your bedroom. 

While Charles stuffs everything he can find into a bag, you gather some snacks in the kitchen to take with you on the boat. Charles has hinted that there would be a cook on site, but you might not be there for too long, so a proper meal wouldn't be worth it. 

As you prepare some sandwiches and put them in a bag, Charles appears behind you. "Are you ready?" he asks, leaning on the kitchen island. 

"Yep," you reply and place a few small bottles of water next to the sandwiches. When you look at Charles, he grins. "What is it?"

"Nothing." His grin almost reaches his ears. "There's water on the boat too, you know."

You roll your eyes. "I've never been on a boat before." 

Charles raises his eyebrows briefly before shrugging his shoulders. "It's not as special as you make it out to be."

You squint your eyes a little. "Only rich people say that."

He tilts his head. "Do you want to go on the boat or not?"

"Like I said," you start the sentence and grab the snacks, "only if I can steer it once."

Charles reaches for the keys to your Renault. "Don't you dare crash it," he warns you as you walk towards the elevator. He presses the button and a short time later the doors open. "That boat was expensive."

"Don't worry," you try to reassure him. "I'll just hold the wheel firmly and steer straight ahead." You wink at him and step into the elevator. 

Charles has to smile and follows you. "I think I'll only let you take the wheel on the open sea. There's much less risk of you ramming other boats."

"You have a lot of faith in me," you say with mock hurt and put your hand on your chest. 

"I do," he says seriously. "I'd trust you with my life."

-

You walk uncertainly around the various walkways. 

Before you got out of the car, Charles said there would be a man standing in front of his boat to help you find it. You would also have to say a password so that you would be granted access to Charles' boat. 

"For security," he explained. "We don't want everyone to get on the boat."

With your two bags on your shoulders, you walk past a few boats that certainly cost more than you'll ever earn. But nowhere is there a man to signal that you are in the right place. 

There are a few people at the harbor, but no one pays you any attention. They are chatting with friends, frolicking on boats and enjoying the warmth of the sun one last time before the year is over and winter finally sets in. You walk past them with your head down. 

Cautiously and indecisively, you walk on and the boats become yachts on which great parties are sure to take place in summer. They are big and nice and you wonder whether you should google one of the types to find out what price range the yachts of the rich and famous are in. 

You are torn from your thoughts by a man. "Madame? Vous cherchez quelque chose?" are you looking for something? 

Somewhat taken by surprise, you stop. You are standing in front of a large, white yacht. With its two floors, it towers above its neighbors by quite a bit. 

"Uhm," you look at the man uncertainly. "Je cherche le bateau d'un ami," you explain. I'm looking for my friends boat. 

The man raises an eyebrow as if he's wondering what you're doing here. Your uncertainty and searching eyes probably made you stand out immediately. You don't fit in here, that's for sure. 

When the man doesn't answer, you try the password Charles told you. "Chicken?" you ask uncertainly, but when the man smiles at you and reaches for your pockets, you exhale with relief. 

You've found the boat. Thank goodness. 

The man helps you onto the yacht and leads you past the sun bed into the interior, which is much bigger than you imagined, and places your bags on a couch. A couch. On a boat. How crazy. 

"Voulez-vous boire quelque chose?" would you like something to drink? He smiles kindly at you. 

"Non, merci," you thank him and look around. On the floor, next to a couch and a small bar, is the steering wheel, which you hope you'll be able to take the plunge on later. To the right, a staircase leads down to the lower floor, where there are not just one, but three bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. 

Astonished, you run your fingers over one of the large beds. The fabric is soft and pleasant against your skin and you can almost imagine how comfortable the bed would be if you snuggled up there after a day in the sun. 

"I was worried for a moment that you wouldn't find my boat." 

As you turn around, Charles is standing at the foot of the stairs, watching you. Without further ado, you sit down on the bed behind you. "I was looking for a boat too. Not a castle on the water."

He has to grin. "The boat is still relatively small compared to the ones that dock here in the harbor in summer."

You raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

He takes a step towards you. "Really. I'm the outsider with my little boat. There's nothing under five stories." He bites the inside of his cheek. "How do you like my boat?"

You nod. "Your yacht is really nice." You grin at him and take a look at the bed you're on. "But why do you need so much space at sea?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I usually spend the summer break here with my family. Not all of the time, of course, but when we go out on it, it's quite a few days. And I'll be damned if I'm going to share a bed with Arthur."

You try to suppress your grin, but unfortunately you don't succeed. "Why? Does he kick while he sleeps?"

"No," says Charles, leaning against the bed at a little distance from you. "But he used to steal the blanket in the past and then I had to freeze all night."

You raise an eyebrow. "Couldn't you have just fought for it?"

"Believe me when I tell you I tried several times," he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "He practically wraps himself up like a burrito and when that happens, you've lost."

"Then I know who I'd never share a bed with," you joke, but Charles looks a little more serious.

"I hope so." Before the mood can turn negative, he smiles at you. "Are you ready? Shall we go out?"

You look at him excitedly. "Oh yes." You jump off the bed and smooth out the creases you've left in the comforter. "How long will it take us to get outside?"

"Not long at all. I think twenty minutes and that's it," he explains, turning to head up the stairs.

When you reach the top, Charles gets behind the wheel. You look at him, confused. "Are you driving the yacht?"

"Yep."

"All the time?"

"Yep." He grins at you. "Except for the time you're at the wheel, of course."

You want to jump up and down with excitement. "And where's the man who let me on the boat?"

Charles presses a few buttons and the display in front of him comes to life. "Thomas? He's left the boat."

"Are we all alone?" you ask uncertainly and sit down on the couch. "I thought you still had a chef on board?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "You brought some snacks with you. Thomas also packed some food in the fridge in case you and I want to cook something later."

You purse your lips. You would spend the whole day on the water with Charles. Alone. And you would take pictures of him, which he would post on his official Instagram profile. And you would cook in the small kitchen in the basement. The distance you want to maintain between you seems to be shrinking somehow. 

"You're not going out on the boat with me to kill me and get rid of me discreetly, are you?" you ask him jokingly. 

"Believe me. If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it on our first day," he grins and puts his hands on the steering wheel. "Are you ready?" Charles asks, glancing over his shoulder at you. His green eyes sparkle in the sunlight and small dimples form in his cheeks as he looks at you. 

Gorgeous. 

You smile back. "I'm ready, captain."

He winks at you. "Let's go then."

Concentrating, Charles steers his yacht out of the harbor between the other boats. The rocking is surprisingly pleasant and not as bad as you expected, so you lie down on the couch and wait until you arrive at your destination. Charles remains silent for a while, so you don't say anything either, worried about disturbing his concentration, but while he steers the boat, you start working on your camera settings and think about which one would be best for your shoot. 

After twenty minutes, the yacht comes to a halt and Charles turns to you. "Alright."

Excitedly, you get up from the couch and follow him outside to the sun bed you had your eye on when you boarded. As you look around, you are amazed. You can still see the land in the distance, but you are so far out that it almost merges with the horizon. Although there is a sea breeze blowing around you, the sun is so bright that you don't freeze. It's reflected on the clear water and you want to put on a bikini and jump in. 

Charles seems to notice your gaze. "Next summer, I'll take you with me and then you can swim and sunbathe here until you get sunburnt."

You smile at him. "I'll gladly take you up on that offer." You glance back inside. "Do you need to get changed or are we going to start straight away?"

Charles snaps his fingers once before pulling his shirt over his head and disappearing towards the interior. You try not to stare after him and you ignore how wide his back is and how his muscles move under his skin as he puts his shirt down on the couch. He opens his bag and pulls out a white shirt. When he turns back to you, you turn away quickly, hoping he hasn't noticed you watching him. 

"Ready when you are."

Charles changes clothes more often than you can imagine. He has different outfits ready for every pose and every location on his yacht, which he slips into in order to take the best possible picture. In between, you take a sandwich break on the sun bed and enjoy the warm sun on your skin before getting back to work. 

It doesnt take long for you to figure that Charles is the perfect man for the job. He's so easy to work with, even though he jokes most of the time and you surely have more photos of him looking funny than serious. But you enjoy it the way it is. Happy, free, without a care in the world.

When you have finished and Charles is happy with the photos you took, he suggests going home in the evening. You nod and sit down on the couch. 

When he looks at you expectantly, you raise an eyebrow in confusion. "What is it?"

"I thought you wanted to steer the boat." In his hand, he holds a bandana that he ties around his head to control his hair, which is messy from the constant changing of clothes.

You widen your eyes. "I thought you were messing with me."

He furrows his eyebrows. "Why would I do that? There's nothing and no one here that you can put at risk. And you won't be steering for long." He leans against the seat in front of the wheel. "If you want, the seat is yours."

Excited, you get up from the couch and get behind the wheel. Charles explains everything to you and you try to concentrate on his words as best you can, but he is so close to you that his scent of perfume, a little sweat and him envelops you. 

With his help, the boat sets off and you jump up and down on the seat with joy. Your hair is blowing around your head and it's so loud that you almost scream. "Oh my God! How fucking awesome is that?" You don't even notice that you've let go of the steering wheel.

"Hands on the wheel, you crazy woman!" laughs Charles, holding the wheel tightly. As you look at him, you see a spark of the Charles you know. The Charles that existed before yesterday. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" you apologize and put your hands back on the wheel. "Oh my God! Can you take a picture of me?" 

Charles takes two steps back and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. "Smile, please."

You grin so wide it almost hurts, but you can't stop. It seems so unbelievable that you are on a yacht and even get to steer it. 

You smile at Charles, tears stinging your eyes. A few days ago, you were almost homeless, all alone and on your own. There aren't enough words in the world to describe how grateful you are for the Monegasque who took you in. Who took you into his heart without hesitation. Who was there for you without batting an eyelid.

Fuck, you love him. And nothing in the world will ever change that.

"Thank you."

He lowers his cell phone. "For what?"

A tear escapes your eye and rolls down your cheek. "For everything." 

Charles takes a step towards you and you would love to take him in your arms and never let him go again. But he stops an arm's length away from you and smiles at you. "I would do anything for you."

You feel the blood rush to your cheeks, so you avert your gaze and look ahead again. Monaco is getting closer, but you would prefer to stay here. On the yacht and on the sea. You don't want to go back to reality yet - not if you can be here with Charles. The way it was before.

"I don't want to go back yet," he voices your thoughts and puts a hand on the wheel. When you look at him, he smiles a little brokenly. "I don't want to go back yet because I'm afraid that things won't be the same between you and me. That I'll lose you. And I don't want that." 

His words hit you so hard that you can't breathe. You would love to take him in your arms and kiss him and reassure him that you belong to him like the sand belongs to the sea, but that's not the way Charles means it. 

But you don't care how Charles means it. You belong to him - no matter which way.

"Then let's not go back," you suggest. "We - we can stay here and we won't go back until tomorrow."

Charles' smile looks forced. "And then?"

"Then we'll go home." You bite the inside of your cheek and purse your lips. "To our home."

Charles exhales in relief, as if the elephant that had been standing on his chest had finally gotten off of him. As if he had been underwater for too long and could now take his first breath. He would love to stay here forever, with you, far away from the reality of all the pressure he is under. 

As you smile at him, the pressure seems to fall off him. As if he has finally reached his destination, wherever that may be. Like he's home. 

Fuck, he'd do anything for you if you just asked him to.

He motions for you to let him into the seat, and as you swap places, he brings the yacht to a halt. As the engine shuts down, he slides off the seat and turns to face you. 

"Have you ever gotten drunk on a boat before?"

[terras-domain]

Who can't afford to pay the delivery driver extra and offers to "take their tip" as a tip?

Culture Shock

Miyawaki Sakura

California, USA

Le Sserafim just finished their second performance for Coachella. Whether it was loved or hated, the girls could only pat on their backs for their performance. A good night rest helps the girls sleep through the thoughts of their whole trip to a foreign country (barring Yunjin). The next day arises, and most of the girls are still sound asleep, but only Sakura was awake, maybe being the mom of the group really awakened her mom abilities to be up early and get a cup of coffee to start the day. Sitting by the kitchen counter, slurping her cup of black coffee as she scrolls through her Instagram, yet the negative comments starts to overwhelm her, making her hands slowly lose grip on her mug. Thankfully she managed to put it down safely before she drops it on the floor, that'll definitely be a mess. Before she closed the app, a post caught her eye. A post compiling a pictures of a bundle at a Target somewhere near California. Excited, she quickly googled the area, and lucky for her it's only 20 minutes away! "Oh, that's not too bad! I could get a taxi to get there." She monologued, but her mind shifted to the other members. Will they be fine without her? Eeeeh, they probably will, she thought. She got up to her room and quickly got herself changed, while her phone still rests on her palm, texting without looking. "I'm off to go shopping for a bit. Be good whilst I'm away okie~ 💜" and sent. She got herself ready, fully changed from her PJs and now in a presentable manner, ready to move out.

Kkura had to recap on how to book an Uber ride, because usually Yunjin does it and she barely focuses what the members do sometimes, so it took her a good minute to get to it. "Oh, that's pretty easy." She smiled, celebrating her victorious achievement by humming to Easy, reminiscing her wonderful time on the big stage. She wanted to scroll on her phone to kill time, but she remembered how crazy her social media feed at the moment so she decides to just fidget around, moving back and forth to look at the cool breezy morning, blowing her hair back as she enjoys the mixture of greenery and concrete. She must've spaced out too much since she didn't realized the Uber driver was already there. "Ahem, miss? Are you, Miyawaki?" A strong Californian accent jolted into Sakura's mind, popping the bubbles of her own world which made her realized she's been daydreaming and spacing out in to the view. "Oh! I'm sorry! Yes yes I'm Miyawaki." Kkura bowed repeatedly as she enters the backseat of the car, covering her face with her palms from the embarrassment. "So....Target right, Miss Miyawaki?" He asked, the taxi driver looking through his back mirror to see the flustered Japanese lady, her pale skin turning red from shame. Sakura only replied with a nod, which was enough for him to shift his gear from neutral back to drive to take her to her destination.

Judging by the way the driver wasn't fazed by the fact a singer that performed in Coachella yesterday made Sakura deduced that he doesn't know her. Cool, less talking needed for her. It's early in the morning anyways, so she couldn't gather enough social energy to be making conversations this early. The 40-ish year old driver seems like he knew the road in the back of his head, taking turns to maneuver the busy city life traffic. It was surprisingly short, a ride that was expected to be 40 minutes long due to traffic turned to a 20-minute leisure drive with the cab driver's help. "Thank you sir, how much did I owe you again?" Kkura asked, taking out her purse from her small handbag. "It's...30 bucks miss." He replied, looking at the meter counter, to calculate how much the lady needs to pay him. "Would you also like to lend a tip?"

"A tip?" Sakura was shocked, nearly jumped from shock from hearing the driver's request. The moment she heard the word tip, her mind immediately shifted to the night where she and Yunjin were sharing a room. Yunjin booted up porn on her laptop for them both to watch while touching each other. The scene included the woman sucking off the man's "tip", which made Kkura assume that's what the driver is requesting. Nervous, Sakura gave a reply, "I-I mean I would. But isn't it a bit too cramped here to be giving you a tip?" Her reply made the cab driver just as confused. "Huh? What do you mean, ma'am?" His confusion intimidated Sakura, making her heart beat faster. "O-oh, we can do it at the backseat of course! I forgot here it has more space."

The Uber driver got himself to the backseat to the backseat after parking his car. He was just trying to get some answers to the lady's answers to him asking for a tip. And this, was not what he expected. The moment he got in, Sakura helped him to sit up on the seat while she adjusted the front seat forward so there's space for her to kneel down. "Wa-wait, ma'am-" he paused as he stares at the japanese doing her thing, taking down his pants and revealing his cock. "I thought you wanted me to give you a tip?" She asked, looking up. Her eyes sprinkles innocence, that convinced the driver to understand that Sakura genuinely believes this is what he wanted. He meant money, but this works too. "W-well Miss Miyawaki, please give it to me." Sakura enjoyed the words that the man gave her, as her mouth starts to envelope his cock, beginning to suck on his growing shaft. The sight of a beauty like Sakura sucking him off made the driver extremely turned on, his cock growing bigger fast, he was ecstatic to see it. Sakura was into it, her lips wrapping around his size whilst her tongue worked his tip. The sensation was too good to hold on. "M-miss, I wa-wanna cum!" He grunted, warning Sakura who's running an assault on his cock. Sakura continues to bob her head back and forth on his cock, until eventually she takes it all inside her throat, taking it to the base as he came deep inside her throat, filling up the sweet japanese singer with cum.

Sakura's inviting lips traps his cock, not letting him free as he starts shooting cum, rope after rope of cum shooting in her mouth, reaching the back of her throat. "Fuuck...Miss. Your mouth game really surprised me." The driver panted, leaning to his seat as Kkura starts to clean her lips, licking the residue of semen and swallow. Sakura grinned as she grabs her stuff, and starts to leave the car. "It was nice meeting you mister, hope you enjoy your tip!" She waved goodbye as her hips sway, spending her day and money joyfully at the mall. Well now the US isn't as scary as she thought, heck she might've enjoyed it too much.

[huellitaa]

₊˚⊹♡ education is hot!

education is literally the most valuable thing in life. please please PLEASE take advantage of that. self concept is important, good looks are important, happiness is important, health is important, but without education we wouldn't even know what any of that even means. ♡

having knowledge makes you magnetic. when you're smart, people will look up to you. and if people look up to you, it means they think about you, they admire you, and you have an influence on them.

life is knowledge. the more you learn, the more you are. knowledge is the fundamental basics to life. nothing is the root of everything but we wouldn't even know what nothing is without education. we wouldn't have language, we wouldn't have concepts, we wouldn't have technology, we wouldn't have the screen you're reading this on. we wouldn't have tumblr 😨

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 1. noting down ur findings

the smartest people ALWAYS note down what they learn, whether it be big or small. if you have lots of knowledge and / or the memory capacity of a goldfish then naturally you may not always remember what you learn. keeping it noted down in any preferably easily accessible format of your choice is so helpful and a very smart choice if you want to be an Intellectual™. notebook, sketchbook, binder, google docs, notion pages, tumblr posts, notes app, anything you like !!!!! just keep it noted down !!!! ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀2. utilising ur resources!!!!

so many people i know and millions of people throughout the world suffer with a crippling addiction to their phones, but what are you actually doing on said phone? you spend ages on your phone, your tablet, your laptop, reading, writing, playing video games, and so on, but even then, are you genuinely learning? are you taking the time to absorb the knowledge placed before you or are you skimming through it all in a mindless cycle of media consumption?

think about how you can utilise the things around you to learn. for example, make all that time spent on your devices useful. research, study, learn in your free time. knowledge is abundance. you can use your local library, your local bookshops, ur school or ur college or ur workplace just to find out more about your surroundings and about the world. it is so much more valuable thank you'd think.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 3. wisdom

wisdom is the highest form of knowledge. to learn is to live so living is the only way you're going to truly learn, if that makes sense. therefore, by using this direct method, you gain the highest manner of knowledge; wisdom. wisdom is not being book smart or knowing how to solve equations or write essays but wisdom is genuine, pure, raw, life experience and life lessons, which, surprise surprise, can only be gained through experience and living your life. go out, try things, get out of your comfort zone, get comfy being uncomfy. you got this. ♡

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 4. social interaction

"nerds dont know how to socialise!!!" okay so maybe i adhere to this stereotype sometimes but social interaction is, however unfortunate it may be, a key part of being intellectual and having genuine knowledge. going back to wisdom and learning through experience, speaking with and networking with and sparking connections with others is a vital way to be educated and informed and cultured along with enhancing your social skills, because we need to know how to interact with others, too. if we can't spread said knowledge through connections and socialising so it can be passed down for hundreds of thousands for years to come then there is no point in learning at all because it'll have no use in the long run.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 5. media consumption

feed ur brain. i cannot stress this enough. read books, fiction or non fiction. i know you've heard this a million times but it's true. read just a random article of interest every day to get your brain working. learn a new word every day, read news reports, letters, interesting blogs, articles, websites, do puzzles, crosswords, wordsearches, memory games, listen to podcasts, audiobooks, watch documentaries, youtube videos, interviews, ted talks, video essays, EXERCISE UR BRAIN

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 6. insights, emotional intelligence and empathy

as i've said before, and i'll reiterate again, knowledge extends beyond simply having book smarts and knowing how to work with letters and numbers. the most powerful method of communication amongst humans is emotion, and being well versed in how to read, understand and communicate said language is only learnt through real life experience and observation of real life experiences where the use of emotional intelligence and empathy come into play. analyse these experiences and note down everything

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 7. question ur sources and BE BOLD

one thing i was taught ever since i was little is that when ur online you need to be veeeery careful with all the information you get fed because there are lots of people out there, esp on the internet, with lots of different intentions and lots of different facts, even if they have good intentions and don't mean to mislead you. always double check whatever ur told with someone you know or on another website or two or a physical yet reliable source if you have one to hand, and cite your own opinions too. you get to choose what does and doesn't get to enter your mind. your mind and your knowledge is yours entirely and only yours to be tampered with and adjusted in any way you'd like.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 things 2 study and be generally educated on:

social etiquette and politeness

countries and their respective laws, cultures, landmarks etc.

history of your own family and ancestry

languages you're interested in and basic phrases in several languages

information about your dream and / or current career

finances and how to manage your money

business, networking and persuasion

pet psychology and how to take care of them

capital cities and basics about places around the world, esp if you plan on going travelling

something beautiful about knowledge is that you'll never run out of it and it can never be taken away from you. people can take anything from you, but never your intelligence. ♡

all my love! 💖✨💘💗🎀💓

[issysh3ll]

how did Matt first start tracking reader's cycle in Phases?

Ooo good question!

Matt has noticed a change in you lately, but he's not sure what it could be. Originally, he thought he'd done something wrong. Last week you were so snappy and short with him, you said no to everything he suggested and he didn't see your smile even once.

But this week is different again. Now it's less like you're mad and more like you're exhausted. The bags under your eyes are huge and moving seems to be too hard for you. He watches as your phone lights up and you glance at it briefly before diving into your bag and retrieving something and then excusing yourself to the bathroom.

As soon as you’re gone, curiosity wins over and Matt reaches for your bag. Pulling the zip open he finds a collection of small blue and pink plastic wrapped items. He fishes one out and tears the plastic open, a faint blush rising to his cheeks as he realises what he's holding. A tampon.

Suddenly he feels stupid. He should have connected the dots, the mood swings and tiredness make more sense now. He knows you're struggling, but he doesn't know how to help. Whipping out his own phone a quick google search tells him a heat pack and chocolate are the best solutions.

The answer he found is quickly covered by an ad for an app. The pink logo flashes on the screen followed by some words that intrigue him.

Want to understand your partner's cycle? Learn how to help your partner during their period!

Yes. Yes he does want to know these things. Matt clicks on the ad and downloads the app. While he's waiting for it to load he heads to the kitchen, wanting to test the chocolate and heat pack idea he found.

When you return from the toilet, Matt hands you a block of chocolate without saying anything. The smile that lights your face tell him he's done the right thing and he quickly follows it up by tucking the warm heat pad he fetched onto your stomach.

Later that day, Matt reads through the instructions given by his new app and marks today as the first day of your period. Immediately suggestions pop up on the screen of ways he can help to reduce your cramps and help your body. He makes a mental note to try them all out tomorrow.

Phases series -> here Phases asks/requests -> here

[emacs-unofficial]

The Pebble Smartwatch is (maybe) coming back!!!

And the OS has been Open Sourced!!

For those that don't know the Pebble, it was one of the first smartwatches.

Some things about it where there has been NO SUITABLE REPLACEMENT FOR IN ALMOST 10 YEARS (that have more than 3 of these):

- an e-paper display

- a Battery that lasts more than 3 days.

- simple (I don't need 1000 features I don't use but make the watch expensive and cost battery life. I only need telling time, notifications, music control, alarms, weather, calendar, sleep/step tracking. Thats it)

- hackable (you can't even create watchfaces on the apple watch, and for the google pixel watch you need the whole Android SDK and basically have to make an android app) the pebble had thousends of user created watchfaces on its store.

- freaking physical buttons. I loved to control my music from my wrist without having to look.

I've got myself a google pixel watch a few months ago and I hate not beeing able to control music blindly and having to charge it every 1-3 days. The only good thing is, that I can use Google Pay from it and control some HomeAssistant stuff.

[karlachismylife]

i told myself i'll take a break in my failing attempts to write a couple things on Karlach x Soap in english and go back to writing a couple other things in my first language for the upcoming fandom combat deadline

so here's a thing i wrote instead and it's neither of those :D

Very much inspired by my precious friend that is obsessed with some datesim I know nothing about and talks my ear off about her sexy chinese dudes while I make her listen to me simping for my dead scottish ADHD meow meow. We don't know shit about each other's fandoms but we're so excited for each other... Also excuse me if this idea has already been done (I swear I thought of it on my own, but I will tag anyone who's done this before if you send me a link) + my English writing still sucks.

I also encourage you to check out these smaus, they're brilliant and I somewhat looked at them when wrote Kyle's text messages and this wonderful thing about Ghost and Animal Crossing that also inspired me to look into these silly military men and mobile/video games.

Task force 141 and their reaction to their S/O playing dating simulator games

CW: gn!civilian!reader (if I slipped into one or the other gender somewhere, please tell me & I'll correct), mostly fluff with a bit of spice, pet names, mild cursing, unserious jealousy and banter, long-distance (Gaz), describing nudes and mild sexting (Gaz), soft Ghost, mentioned spanking (Price), mild dom!Price, alluded reader recieveing fingerng and oral (Soap)

Word count: ~5k

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

That silly app you downloaded because its (very compelling) ads were repeatedly shoved in your face became surprisingly convenient when Gaz got deployed and wasn't within reach for weeks. A slightly clay-looking guy on your screen didn't hold up in comparison to the smoothest bastard sergeant with the tightest grip on your heart, but a cute feature with app notifications stylized as loving text messages from the virtual boyfriend somehow helped cope with the radio silence from Kyle. You knew he would be fine, how could he not? You gave him a very proper goodbye kiss (and goodbye sex that was a bit more improper) for luck, and he was too damn good at his job to fail. You weren't going insane from worry, at least not more than usually.

But the loneliness, the fucking loneliness was a little bit more bearable when you still got your "good morning beautiful xx" and "thinking about you before bed" even though the font was wacky and some phrases were clearly poorly google translated. To unlock these little snippets you opened the app every day, usually tapping mindlessly on all the required interactions before going to sleep and eyeing some of the ingame wardrobe options that wouldn't work too bad on your man. In fact, you even took a screenshot of a nice suit - if tailored right, Kyle would look in it sharper than the tactical knife he knew so well. You just needed an opportunity to show it to him.

And the opportunity barged in with a sudden surge of texts right when you were already getting ready for some shut-eye.

Three weeks of muffled unease wiped out and replaced with that never-tiring giddy feeling bubbling inside as soon as you saw Kyle's name pop up on top of your screen.

"hi baby"

"finally can text, miss you terribly 😘"

"what are you up to angel?"

You could feel your own cheeks strain with the stupid smile plastered on your face. No doubt, Kyle texted you at the first opportunity - he was there, he was okay and he missed you. All sleepiness in your body withered away, leaving you energized at eleven pm, squirming in your bed as you rolled over to start vigorously typing back. You never knew how much time you both have to chat, unstable signal or simply never-ending duty could interrupt you at any given moment, so you had to get your fill of premium class Garrick right there and then - no matter how drowsy it would make you the next morning.

Eventually you sent him the screenshot you took without second thoughts:

"btw thought you'd look good in smth like this baby, what do you think?"

Instead of a normal reply on the topic, though, you recieved an immediate jab followed by short pause:

"the fuck is that baby? 🤣"

"wait i think i know"

"replacing me with a vr boyfriend already? jesus fuck angel i haven't been away even for a month"

"i'm wounded, truly. he doesn't even look that good and can't spell correctly. what a downgrade 😔"

If only you could communicate the muscle-straining eyeroll you had through text. Chuckling and snorting, you immediately came to defence of your pixel prince charming, simply for the sake of it.

"how dare you. he's not a mere replacement, this is true love, garrick 💕🥰❤️✨"

"look at the top, we're already level 29 intimacy"

"gonna get him to send me nudes soon, they unlock at lvl 30"

Gaz could probably hear your bratty giggles on the other side of the globe, sheets rustling as you wiggled in your bed, absolutely proud of your impeccably fine-tuned wit and properly excited for the upcoming smartass comeback, since Kyle would rather die than let you have a win. But you've already calmed down with your cheeks mildly flushed, and the messages were still left on read.

Weird. It wasn't the first time your chatting ended abruptly, but usually Kyle had time at least to tell you he had to go - maybe even exchange little "ily"s. Did the signal cut off? But it was good enough for him to download a picture even, surely he'd notice if it started lagging and tell you. Did something bad happen? An emergency? An ambush?

A slight frown etched in your face as you started unwillingly thinking of the worst. Then - in a moment - that little green circle signaling Gaz was online came back. And still no answer.

Did he... get actually upset? Over a fucking datesim app?

It was hard to believe. Impossible, even. Kyle was never prone to jealosy fits, smug bastard definitely knew how secure you two were. But maybe... maybe it was the fact that you were seeking comfort he couldn't provide? Being told you needed a whole ass app simply to tell you goodnight while he was god knows where, unable to hold you and cuddle you to sleep - that could sting.

Shit, you shouldn't have started this. Gaz wouldn't outright admit he felt even the slightest bit insecure over an unblinking 3D monstrosity with a sexy Korean voice. He'd think it was stupid - and he would be right, frankly, but in this case this wasn't completely unreasonable.

Already anxious, you put your thumbs back on the phone to type out a careful question, but before you could even think of a right way to formulate it the chat chirped and loaded in a bunch of attachments.

Absolutely scandalous. Hastly unndone uniform, sweaty shirt pulled up and - you knew it even if it was outside the frame - clutched in his teeth, bared in a self-assured smirk, belt unbuckled and hanging from the loops of pants pulled down just a bit; just enough for his hand to slip inside and gather into a delicious grasp around the bulge you knew was straining against his boxers. Fucking tease, pulling the elastic band with his thumb to let you see just the base of his cock - you had to swipe several mouth-watering closeups on his chest, v-line beautifully adorned with dark hair and that bloody hand you already ached to feel on your thigh, before you finally got your reward. Hard just from the thought of you, tip glistening with the pre-cum he definitely smeared all over specifically for that picture.

"wanted to ask if your pixel bf can beat these"

"but i think your silence already says enough 😏"

You groaned, belly warm with the familiar longing. What an angel of a man, finding time to somehow snap packs of perfect nudes in the middle of wherever he was. Already turning over to slide your hand down your body, you sent a very sulking "hate you garrick. first made me worried and now horny, shameless bastard" and got an obligatory "sure you do. i'll fuck that attitude outta you as soon as i get back angel".

Somehow all the need in a virtual replacement vanished after this chat. Not only did Kyle text you more regularly - sensing a competition maybe, huh? - but you also got yourself enough material to be comforted before sleep. Sure, you'd rather have your man there in person, but no perfect-looking anime prince could offer a view better than Kyle's flexed arms or a cheeky sneak peek of his plump ass and a smooth back arch snapped over his shoulder.

No wonder you two threw yourselves at each other when Gaz finally showed up home, tired and a little roghed up, but very much alive and pent up for you. Once you were done relieving some of that frustration and cuddled up after a nice, hot shower, though, Kyle nipped your earlobe teasingly.

"No such level to unlock this experience, huh, angel? Something your app boytoy can't provide."

He caught your arm before you could elbow him playfully and grasped you tighter aroung your waist, using his free hand to get his phone and hold it in front of your face.

"Besides, I think he likes me more."

"How the fuck did you get to level sixty, Garrick?!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Twilight was peaking how many years ago? And they still have this stupid choice everywhere."

Simon, the unmoving domestic shadow spread in a comfortable sitting position on your couch for the daily quiet together time, turned his head lazily and gently squeezed your thigh, careful not to disturb your legs thrown over his lap as he leaned a bit closer with a mildly interested "Hm?"

"It's this dating game. They're making me choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Can't think of another conflict for the last decade, really? Why not elves versus orcs? They never make stories about sexy orcs. But there's a market for it! Why stick to the same broken record all the time? Or, I don't know, invent beef between fairies and mermaids!" You huffed in exasperation, waving your phone in a vague gesture meant to express your disdain for the lack of creativity in the supernatural romance visual novels department. Ghost's usual intense stare boring into your face could mean anything - from him silently judging you for lacking respect for the culturally impactful vampries-werewolves feud to a wordless question whether you were in the sexy orc enjoyers market.

But when he finally spoke, scarred lips slightly curled upwards in a hint of an amused smile and eyebrows raised, he asked what seemed to catch his attention much more than what fantasy creature you would like to bang.

"A dating game?" His smirk became more prominent, eyes narrowing as an indicator of him looking for a way to quip in the most unbearable way possible. "What's all that about, love?"

The fact that he didn't know wasn't that surprising, you'd be much more astonished if Ghost did know what a dating simulator game was, but the need to explain still caught you off guard, forcing you to pause with the expressive phone gesturing and actually try and describe the phenomenon.

"Well, it's a mobile game, where you, like... have to play through a story with the main thing being befriending and romancing characters. It's mostly reading a story, really, but you get dialogue options to unlock special scenes with your chosen romantic interest or you can give them gifts..." A stolen glance at Simon told you that he was surprsingly paying attention. "But there's often a plot too. The one I started recently is about, well, vampires and werewolves... a Twilight ripoff, basically, but the player gets to be Bella." You paused, gauging his reaction, but other than his calloused fingers kneading the meat of your thigh Ghost didn't even move, leaving you to look at him with suspicion mixed with amusement. "Want me to show you?.."

Finally, his hand stopped its methodical massaging, only to pat your thigh approvingly and help you sit up, cozily snuggled up to the man whose hoodie you shamelessly stole just to wear around him. Wrapping his muscular arm around you, Ghost leaned his head against yours and prepared for the highly educational lecture on the world full of opportunities to get turned down because of having too low approval with the character.

You showed him the exact story that got you so riled up, explained the quite primitive mechanics behind gaining attraction points with the characters and rehashed the entire plot up to the point where you were stuck now - the one where it was obvious the game wanted you to pick a side. Simon listened carefully, gruff chuckles at some of your grumbling and a lot of very insightful commentary on each and every character ("that one's got Johnny's fucking mighty schnotz" and " 'course he's a fucking twat, look at his bloody necktie, a hemp one would be an improvement on 'im"), inculding your own avatar that you spent considerable time making to look like you wanted.

"That supposed to be you, love?" He didn't even try to mask the snarky tone, and you definitely prepared to be offended. You put so much thought into the character looks! So what if they didn't match your real ones fully? It's the game limitations, not your fault. "Hmph. Maybe good enough for these two muppets to fight over. But I reckon I like my version better. Comes with high-quality visuals."

His arm tightened around your shoulders, pulling you up for a short and sweet kiss, rough thumb stroking your jawline tenderly and pressing up under your chin when Ghost pulled away with a crooked smirk, shattered with scars into an artful mosaic.

"Trying to get your approval higher, sir?" You teased, eyes darting between his smiling - what a view, honestly - eyes and ready to be kissed again lips. His response was predictable. "It's working, innit, love? Think there's enough for a special bonus scene yet?"

Despite you clearly pretending to think and count his imaginary attraction points, Simon already started pulling you up into his lap, holding you securely and running his fingers along the curve of your back. "Might need a little more convincing, gamer. You didn't even bring a special gift to this date." Ghost's half-lidded eyes sparkled with hidden competitevness and his chest rumbled with a deep chuckle as he reached out to take your phone out of your hand softly.

"Gave you the hoodie. It counts." Ignoring your not very convincing protests ("It's mine already, of course it doesn't count!"), he tapped something on your screen and then put the phone away, wrapping his arms back around your form and slowly leaning into a tangled cuddlepile in an almost lying position. All your squirming successfully restrained with a bearhug, you huffed and placed your chin on Ghost's chest, looking up at him. He was there, with you, but deep in his gaze you noticed a certain swrling cloud of thoughts. Reading Simon's eyes was a must with him, he knew you could and didn't ever hide them from you.

"What are you thinking about?" You carefully inquired, running your hands over his shoulders and squeezing gently, a habit helping both of you to ease some tension. Simon blinked, tilting his head slightly, and let out a small sigh, seeking the right words. "You're not playing that game because I'm not doing enough, are you, lovie? 'Cos if you are, I'd rather you tell me what's wrong."

Always straight to the point. At least, when he finally decides to speak up. The big, scary dog worried about a silly mobile game as his competition? Cute. But the seriousness in his eyes called for a proper answer, not a teasing joke or a simple "aww, don't worry".

"You're doing more than enough, Simon, and you know it. It's a game, just living out my fantasies as the main character. But I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable, it's no big deal, you know?" The tiniest bit of tension you felt underneath your fingertips disappeared, leaving Ghost sinking even further into the couch with you properly wrapped in his protective embrace.

"Nah, gorgeous, you keep playin' whatever shite you wanna be playin'. Just promise to keep me updated on the bloke so I can upstage him in every way." His voice got muffled since he buried his face in your chest, eyes closed peacefully and pure bliss written in all the relaxed features. Cradling his head, you hummed in agreement, but then perked up again.

"Wait, what bloke? You picked one of them for me?" - "Mhm." - "Oh come on, Simon, what happened to the freedom of choice!" You could feel his smile get more prominent despite being hidden in the softness of your chest covered with the thick hoodie material. "Which one did you choose? The vampire 'cause he's wearing all black?"

"Nuh-uh. The other one. The mutt."

You giggled at his choice of words and let out a quiet "oi" when Simon pinched you for disturbing his calm enjoyment of a "bonus scene" with the chosen romance option, that being you.

"Why? You're a Wolf Man fan or something?"

"'f course I am, love. He's British."

Captain John Price

When you saw the notification that the game you got sucked into with the active help of your friends got a "sound update", you knew what that meant - they finally added English voiceover lines for every single hunk of a man you had in your virtual harem, and you couldn't wait to hear what voices they gave your favourites. Given the nature of the game, you decided to put your earbuds on and started listening through the whole voicelines library, busying your hands with mundane tasks like folding laundry. John was sitting in the kitchen, fully immersed into his reading - potentially work-related. Or at least enthralling enough for him to miss your flushed cheeks or periodical giggling.

But no matter how important his reading was, what he couldn't miss was the sultry male voice coming out of your phone with a whispered "Wouldn't you love that, bunny?". Of course the parinig connection between your phone and the wireless earbuds had to get interrupted exactly when you were pouring yourself a cuppa and couldn't even drop the kettle in order to shush the suggestive purring of your digital fave.

You could feel Price staring at you. You could practically hear his bushy eyebrows slowly rising as he patiently waited for you to say something first. You were fully contemplating brewing yourself some poison instead of tea to avoid getting confronted by your man who just heard someone call you bunny on the phone.

So when you didn't start first, John, more amused than anything - he knew you too well to read through all your tiny microreactions and conclude that this wasn't hardcore evidence of an affair, but something much more suitable for future teasing (were you listening to porn or something? a naughty audiobook? oh so many golden opportunities to make you squirm under the steel gaze of the captain) - asked very nonchalantly: "What was that, darling?"

"What?" There was no point in pretending you didn't know what he's talking about, but you still tried. If anything, it allowed you to stall while you very hesitantly turned around and saw John and his smile, not even a hint of sterness in the round plumpness of bearded cheeks and little crow's feet in the corners of his eyes. "What was what, honey? You want some tea too?"

A futile attempt at deflecting and bribery rolled into one. You were lucky you were not his subordinate. You were unlucky the voice of some other man, dripping with mirth, came back into your ear once the next voiceline loaded in and the connection with your earbuds got restored. This was equal to admitting your crimes in front of the judges, but you slowly took your phone out of your pocket and hit pause.

"Does the tea come with an explnation who's the bloke whispering in your pretty ears, bunny? 'Cos if so, I'll take a cuppa, thank you very much."

He was beaming. Leaned back in his chair, knees wide apart and burly arms folded on his chest, Price wanted to have a wee little pause in his serious reading, and watching you squirm was the best distraction and brain-reloading he could ever get.

"I-it's not like that, I promise." Was that a bead of sweat running down your nape? John grunted, cocking an eyebrow and pushing his chin into his chest to stare at you from an angle that best conveyed that "I am not convinced, love" look. "It's just a little game, John, promise. Not a real man, just a made-up character."

Those piercing eyes narrowed even more, silently measuring you up for potentially bullshitting him, and then a heavy hand patted the broad thigh. An order, not an invitation (an order you could always disobey, though...)

"Show me."

Forgetting the option to disobey with little consequences, you hung your head down and dragged yourself and your fresh cuppa over to John, settling in his lap. The tea didn't even make it to the table, he snatched it from your fingers, careful enough not to spill, and sipped loudly, patting your side condescendingly. Any more stalling could result in various stages of burning buttocks, so you complied with the demand without Price repeating himself and opened the app, disconnecting your earbuds in the process.

He clearly wanted to hear that embarassing shit.

Your explanations of what a datesim was seemed to amuse John greatly - knowing his love for farming games, you made sure to mention all the best ones mixing the two genres, clearly trying to sweeten the deal.

"So wha', sum muppet in your phone callin' you bunny and you like 't? Maybe I should start too, huh?" You had to close your eyes to stop the internal screaming, and John's gruff chuckle hit your burning ear with a gentle puff. "But these, erm..." - "Companions." - "Riiight, these companions, they ain't whispering something... naughtier, are they?"

There was a hint of seriousness in his question, so you opened your eyes again and turned to look at him. His face was still smiling calmly, but the expectation was that of an honest and direct answer.

"Well, they do have more explicit scenarios and voicelines..." - "They talkin' dirty to you, eh? Guess I should step up my game." He flexed his jaw and leaned even closer, brushing his slightly chapped lips over the tender shell of your ear, soft beard tickling you and leaving you helpless. "Can't have my sweetheart wooed by sum app game fockers, can I? C'mere you little bunny, Imma show you sumthin' to hop on."

He stood up suddenly, lifting you with a soft grunt and dragging you away from the forgotten phone and empty cup. No amount of "John!" squeaked out could save you from that bear of a man groping your ass before throwing you onto bed and climbing on top. His weight squeezed the air out of your lungs as he roamed his big palmes all over your sweet body, even more enthusiastic about the impromptu break in his work.

"Ugh, fine, Johnathan Price, I won't be listening to the spicy dialogues! Just let me finish my-" Absolutely futile, your plea to get back to housework you had planned got cut short by a deep kiss, John's tongue sliding in your mouth as the most efficient (okay, maybe, second most) gag he could use on you. Your hands, previously pressed against his furry chest in an attempt to push him off, relaxed and buried themselves in his thick hair, ruffliing it and tugging him closer by the strands. A low grunt let you know what you already knew and felt much lower - John fully approved both that and your promise to keep away from the horny digital harem.

"Why even bother with 'em bloody games when you can 'ave the real thing, huh?"

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Whit are ye smiling at there, bonnie?"

Before you could even process the question and come up with any answer (excuse) about the silliest giddy smile that a cutscene in your chosen romance route got out of you, your massive - the only way to not be thrown off by Johny "Can't Sleep Still" MacTavish - bed creaked underneath the impressive weight of a fine Scottish specimen. Like a curious pup, Soap squeezed his head through the loop of your arm, earning himself a choking cuddle in the process, and stared into your screen.

"No, Johnny, piss off! It's personal!" You scrambled to turn your phone away from him and held it to your chest, a traitorous warmth in your cheeks threatening to give away what kind of personal it was. Of course, Soap caught on immediately, playful glint in his eyes as he simply yanked the phone out of your grip and turned over onto his back, shamelessly using you as a pillow while he unlocked your screen (why the fuck were you two so trusting and shared passwords!) and looked at the animated cutscene.

And why did it have to be the first spicy one you finally unlocked?

"What's tha'? Didnae peg ye fur a hentai type, bonnie." Soap watched the looped animation for a few more seconds while you wrestled against his heavy fucking carcass helplessly. With a single tap he closed the cutscene and let out an amused hum when met with the continuation of your unlocked chapter. "Och, so ye're reading smut too? Naughty."

You squirmed visciously, fighting for your dignity as he started reading aloud through the desciption of what didn't make the cutscene. The experience was downright horrible, humiliating and arousing at the same time as Johnny's thick brogue and mocking tone killed every ounce of spice in the steamy scene and somehow added new ones. Along with his stuttering. This lad... you even tried to grab his arm and chew on the meaty muscle in hopes of distracting him, but he didn't even flinch, simply pulling his limb out of your grasp and putting it behind his head comfortably. Outraging.

"Slender aristocratic fingers squeezing supple..." he smacked his lips so loudly that you groaned, "...flesh nae hard enough tae leave marks, but enough tae el... elicit pleasure, his breath hot in yer ear, whispering... Hauld yer horses- how come is yer name 'ere, bonnie? Who's writing this fur ye?" You nearly bounced off the bed when Soap suddenly sat up straight, relieving you from his (quite welcome, to be fair) burden, and frowned at your phone, scrolling through the erotc piece as if he could figure out who was the author just from reading it carefully enough. The pout he turned to you with was nothing short of absolutely heartbreaking. "Who's tha' "Laird Sebastian" prick writing a' kinds of nasty shite he wants tae dae tae ma' leannan? Am ah nae enough fur ye, bonnie? Dae ye wanntae leave me fur some posh bastard wi' a stick so far up his arse tha' it pokes outta his yapper?"

It was so obvious that Soap was just taking the piss, but his bottomless puppy eyes with the longest lashes fluttering as if on the verge of tears were working their dark magic, crashing your train of thought like a whole gang of outlaws from the Wild West and coercing you into making an apologetic expression and reaching your arms pleadingly for a hug. "Aw, come on, Johnny, it's just a-"

"Ah dinnae think tis a good idea, love. Ah dinnae have slender aristocratic fingers, wha' if a'm awful lot o' a commoner tae yer tastes..." Soap tilted his chin up, a perfect depiction of dignity suffering horrible offence, and turned away defiently, immediately peeking back at you from the corner of his twinkling blue eye. You knew those little smiling creases too well to miss them forming despite him holding a pout quite successfully, so you scoffed, still slightly flushed from being caught red-handed, and rolled your eyes, snuggling up to Johnny from behind and starting to kiss behind his ear.

"I'm so, so sorry, love of my life. No posh bastards come nowhere near you, you're my favourite commoner. Fuck Lord Sebastian-" You realized you chose the wrong wording when Soap couldn't hold back a snort. "Aye, well, seems lik' ye were planning on doing exactly tha-" - "Oh shut the fuck up, MacTavish!"

Shut the fuck up he did, turning back to face you abruptly and tackling you into the sheets, lavishing kisses with his searing hot lips all over your face. A real mutt pouncing the handler he has no respect and all the love for. There was no choice left for you other than wrap all your limbs around Soap and writhe underneath him, nearly missing that very inconspicuous way he reached his arm out and dropped your phone on the nightstand before cradling your head for much deeper, sloppier kisses.

"Gonna show tha' laird sod how tae fuck mah bonnie real good, aye? Mak' ye come wi' thae fingers right 'ere, nae aristocrat bullshit." Lapping up your neck with his wet tongue, Soap planted a greedy kiss right underneath your jaw and sucked at the soft skin until it showed a little pinkish hue. The bastard was set on making you sing for him, big rough palms grabbing handfuls of your flesh, squeezing and massaging while Johnny kept decending down your body with clear determination. "C'mon, leannan, let me hear ye. Say yer ol' Johnny's better than tha' bawbag Sebastian."

Sliding your hands over his broad shoulders, you held his nape before tugging on his slightly outgrown mohawk, your own head falling backwards in an exhausted yet adoring sigh.

"You know it's just a game, right, loverboy? A dating simulator, not a real thing? Oi, watch it!" A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Soap chomped on your side and immediately nuzzled into your stomach to blow raspberries into the soft plush, catching you once you started squirming and giggling. No intention of letting you catch your breath until he heard what he wanted. "Fine! Fine, Johnny, you are so, so much better than Lord Sebastian."

Satisfied, he loosened his grasp on you and lifted his head, grinning like he's just won you over from somene actually threatening in terms of romance. Hooked his fingers into your housewear bottoms, slowly tugged them down and started trailing hot-mouthed kisses down from your solar plexus, sky blue eyes glazing over with the never-satiated hunger for your taste on his greedy tongue.

You held your breath. A joke was itching inside your mouth, begging to be let out, dancing on the tip of your tongue...

"You're lucky I didn't choose Duke Aaron's route. That's some serious competion."

"Och, away 'n bile yer heid, bonnie!"

Thank you for reading! I appreciate all interactions, likes, reblogs, comments and requests (send in anything for now! I can filter them myself, but I am open to smut, including rare kinks and some dark themes. Keep in mind though that I am limited by my skill & overall prefer sugary fluff. I will write for any of the task force 141 and baldur's gate characters, including parings, poly, x reader and x OC), I will write drabbles, headcanons and whatever else formats you can think of.

Also any corrections are welcome as long as you're not being mean! Thank you <3