#2012 US Nationals

[figureskatingcostumes]

Maia Shibutani and Alex Shibutani's free dance costumes for the 2011-2012 season, seen here at the 2011 Finlandia Trophy, 2011 Cup of China (also 2011 NHK Trophy), 2011 Grand Prix Final, 2012 US Nationals and 2012 Four Continents (also 2012 Worlds).

Their music was In The Mood, Moonlight Serenade and Chattanooga Choo Choo, all by the Glenn Miller Orchestra. Which is your favourite? For me, they got it right first time. (Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

[rabbitcruiser]

The founding of Seattle is usually dated from the arrival of the Denny Party on November 13, 1851, at Alki Point.

[occult-roommates]

For April Fool's day tomorrow I almost made a fake chapter where it's revealed Rudi and Dawud are siblings and their respective dead dad is actually the same person but it was so obviously a joke I cringed myself into being unable to write it 💀

[venicestateofmind]

our drugs and our love and our dreams and our rage

[tougherthanilook]

why do you keep fighting for me?

The answer to that would have been simple, had they been in the early parts of their journey. I’m doing my job. We need your blood to save innocent people. There’s so much at stake than just one person.

And while that’s still part of the reason why, it’s not the only reason anymore. Everything they’ve been through together? Yeah, there’s more.

“Because I care about you,” she says, honest, direct, because there is no reason to lie. People deserve to know that they’re cared for. They deserve to know they’re important. “I care that we both make it out of here. And if not both, then at least you.”

There’s partial guilt on her end, that maybe the only reason he’s in this situation is because she sought him out. But truth is, people would have been after him regardless, so it’s best that she’s with him. It’s best that they’re both in this together, a team.

[frogeyedape]

Mmmm....ironic mimicry may be perceived as plain opinion by someone not in the know that it's irony--that doesn't mean ironic mimicry is always and universally equivalent to "ironic" genuine opinions. It does bear thinking about whether speaking plainly/without irony might be warranted in various situations such as in the presence of people who you don't know well and who don't know you well (it being somewhat easier to weed out "jokes" from frustrated mockery of the opposition when you know someone well)

"reject modernity embrace tradition" isn't even a dogwhistle it's literally just saying regressive ideology directly. how does anyone not get this

[pcwpolwrestling]

11/6/2012-Replay of Extreme Election Night 2012

PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon Wauseon, OH Tuesday November 6th, 2012 Host: Johnny Suave

Johnny Suave and his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain

Loud crowd chant of ‘PCW…PCW…PCW.’   Suave and Shania are in the ring.

Suave- HELLO AND WELCOME TO P-C-W EX-TREEEEEME ELECTION NIGHT 2012!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- I am Johnny Suave, the Voice of PCW.  This smoking hot piece of cardboard is Shania Twain.  Tonight, Barack Obama (D-IL) find out if he will have a second four term as PCW CEO.  Opposing him, ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA).

Suave runs down the card one last time: -Arizona- Jeff Flake (R) vs. Rich Carmona (D) -Montana- Denny Rehberg (R) vs. Jon Tester (D) -Ohio- Sherrod Brown (D) vs. Josh Mandel (R)-Virginia- George Allen (R) vs. Tim Kaine (D) -Massachusetts- Scott Brown (R) vs. Elizabeth Warren (D) -Connecticut: Linda McMahon (R) versus Chris Murphy (D) -Missouri: Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Todd Akin (R)

PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D)

PCW Title Match: Triple R (D) © vs. P.M.C. Banks (R)

Suave- Last night on PCW Extreme Political TV, this went down…

“No Frills’ Chris Escondido Addresses the Independents Escondido says that both the Republicans and Democrats have disrespected independents for years even though they are the ones the power- the ones who swing elections.  He notes that there’s a disagreement between the Dawn McGill-William Daniels Bryan factions and tonight is going to settle all issues.  Tomorrow night is PCW Extreme Election Night and Independents will be there in force.

Bryan vs. McGill for the Heartland Title Bryan again used his wrestling skills to get McGill grounded yet again.  McGill kicked at him but Bryan first locked in a figure four and then the LaBell Lock.  This time McGill found herself in the middle of the ring and out of arm’s reach of the ropes.  This time, McGill had no choice but to tap out.

WINNER AND NEW HEARTLAND TITLE CHAMPION: William Daniels Bryan @ 8:15

McGill handed the belt to Bryan and then raised his arm in the air.  ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido then joined them along with the rest of the PCW Independents.

Suave- So the Platte Populist William Daniels Bryan is the new Heartland Champion and it appears “No Frills” Chris Escondido is the de facto leader of the Independents.  Will the Independents swing the results here tonight?

Voice- NO!

Out runs Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver holding a huge binder of paper.

Nate Silver- This is proof that Barack Obama will be re-elected PCW CEO!  The Independents don’t mean anything.  This does.  It’s all about science and numbers- something the Republicans don’t understand.  Mark my words.  When tonight’s show is done- Barack Obama will be the next PCW CEO.

Then David Axelrod (D) saunters out.

David Axelrod- I’ll go one step further.  If Obama loses tonight, I’ll shave my mustache off.

Suave- There you have it.  Axelrod has put his mustache up as a guarantee that Barack Obama will win tonight.

Suave- Let’s head to the ring for our first match of the night.

MATCH #1: Jeff Flake (R-AZ) vs. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) Arizonians Flake and Carmona are both first time participants in PCW and vying for retiring Jon Kyl‘s (R-AZ) spot on the PCW Competition Committee.

The big issue over the upcoming match?  Carmona tried to imply that ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain (R-AZ) and Kyl endorsed him instead of Flake.

Suffice to say, neither McCain nor Kyl were amused and set out to make clear that they were and will be in Flake’s corner.

Marshall does the introductions and indeed, both the Straight Shooter John McCain and Jon Kyl are in Flake’s corner.  The bell rings and the match is underway.

Flake and Carmona hook up in the middle of the ring.  Flake  shoves Carmona down and sets up for an Elbow Drop… BOOM.. Then another Elbow Drop… BOOM.  Carmona comes back with a back breaker on Flake and then tries an early elbow submission.  Flake escapes and gets dropped by a slingshot elbow. Carmona applies the camel clutch but Flake escapes to the floor.  Flake catches Carmona climbing out of the ring with a low blow.  Carmona goes down.  Flake grabs Carmona’s shoulders, turns him around, and boots him in the ass.  Flake follows with an open hand chop.

Flake rolls Carmona back into the ring and continues to work him over, but Carmona regains control by whipping Flake into the corner.  Carmona retrieves Flake and applies an overhead wrist lock but Flake muscles Carmona to the corner to break the hold.  Carmona heads up top.  Flake tries to knock him off the turnbuckle, but Carmona takes the arm and slaps on the cross arm breaker while hanging over the top rope.

Carmona releases the hold and slides back into the ring.  He whips Flake to the corner and charges in.  Flake floats over into a roll-up pin and gets a two count. Both men get back to their feet, but Carmona regains control and repeatedly punches Flake’s arm.  Carmona tries for another over-the-top-rope cross arm breaker but Flake blocks.   Carmona goes for a back breaker / neck breaker combo, but Flake counters with a drop kick.  Flake tries another drop kick but Carmona catches Flake’s leg and drops to his knees to hyperextend the knee. Carmona wrenches the injured leg around the second rope. Flake tries to get away, but Carmona grabs the injured leg and pulls him down to the mat. Carmona locks in a single leg Boston crab on the injured leg right in the middle of the ring.

Flake tries to crawl toward the ropes, but Carmona pulls him back to the middle of the ring.   Out of nowhere, Jon Kyl jumps into the ring and kicks Carmona.   Then John McCain comes in and…LOW BLOWS CARMONA!  Carmona drops to his knees.  Flake hits a basement dropkick and covers…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jeff Flake (R-AZ)

Suave- John McCain and Jon Kyl come through for Jeff Flake and he wins here at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012!

Outside PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s Office Two guards stand outside.

Suave- Four years ago, Bubba Jackson announced to the political wrestling world that Barack Obama would follow George W. Bush as the next PCW CEO.  Tonight, will he keep Obama on for another four years?  Or will he choose Mitt Romney?  Stay tuned.  Let’s go back to the ring.

MATCH #2 Linda McMahon (R-CT) vs. Chris Murphy (D-CT) Two years ago, Linda McMahon (R-CT), wife of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon took on Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) at PCW Extreme Election Night 2010 for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. Despite McMahon’s wrestling pedigree, she would come up short in the political wrestling arena when her son-in-law, world famous pro wrestler Paul Levesque(Triple H in WWE) accidently clocked her with a sledgehammer.

Now, McMahon is back and this time Vince McMahon himself will be on hand to finish the job his son-in-law couldn’t two years ago, get Linda McMahon on the PCW Executive Committee.

In her way, Democrat Chris Murphy.  Can he overcome the forces of pro wrestling’s most dominant personality- Vince McMahon?  Or will the McMahon family roll past Murphy?

Vince McMahon, Paul Levesque, and Stephanie McMahon-Levesque join Linda McMahon at ringside.  Vince immediately starts talking to the referee as the match begins.  Linda tries to connect with a knee but Murphy moves back.  McMahon knifehand chops Murphy.  Murphy throws McMahon off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block.   Murphy goes to follow up but Vince McMahon trips him up.

Suave- Are here we go.  I still can’t believe that the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, is here in PCW.

Murphy moves back to his feet and glares at McMahon.  Murphy goes for a body slam but McMahon slips out.  Murphy puts McMahon in the hangman submission.  Vince in the ring and pulls Murphy off.   Vince clocks Murphy with a closed fist and the referee literally has to pull him off.  Vince is sent out of the ring but he stays on the apron and continues a running dialogue with the referee.

Suave- I think he’s saying that’s not how they do things in the WWE.

McMahon hits Murphy with a elbow smash to the face.  McMahon knees Murphy and lifts him for a powerslam- but she’s not strong enough to lift Murphy.  McMahon goes for a hiptoss but is unable to lift Murphy.  McMahon bites Murphy’s arm.  Vince throws a chair in the ring.  McMahon opens up the chair…Murphy into the ropes…drop toe hold onto the open chair! McMahon stands up.  McMahon with an armdrag.  Murphy powers up and then they lockup.  Murphy whips McMahon to the corner of the ring.  Meanwhile, Vince McMahon continues a running commentary to the referee who appears to be getting tired of it.

McMahon jabs Murphy.  Murphy comes back with a swinging DDT and covers. 1…2…Vince in and makes the save.  Vince with the chair.  *WHAP*  Murphy’s down.  Linda’s not in a position to make the cover.  And the referee stops the match.

Suave- WHAT IS HE DOING?  HE’S SENDING THE McMAHON FAMILY TO THE BACK!

The crowd roars and Vince is livid.  Levesque in the ring and he lets the referee have it.  Finally, PCW security intervenes and escorts the McMahons to the back.

Suave- Wow, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

Murphy clotheslines Linda McMahon.  He then goes with a double underhook and piledrives her right into the mat.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Chris Murphy (D)

Suave- Chris Murphy with the win here and…WATCH OUT!

Vince McMahon is back and he decks the referee.  PCW security again swarm to the ring and McMahon is escorted out of the arena.

Suave-More Extreme Election Night after this.

PCW’s Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein…

…interviews world famous swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen.

Teigen tells Bernstein that she’s glad to be at PCW Extreme Election Night to lend her support to Barack Obama.

This causes some of the more rabid Republicans in the crowd to start booing.  Teigen smiles through it and continues the interview with Bernstein.

The nastiness continues and finally, Kathryn Randall Collins (D), Code Pink (D), and Emily S List (D) come out.

Code Pink- This is proof that the Republicans are waging a war against women!

The Democrats cheer while the Republicans boo.

Then actress Melissa Joan Hart walks out.

She tells the crowd that she supports Mitt Romney and that sometimes you have to agree to disagree.

Now it’s the Republicans who cheer while the Democrats are silent.  Code Pink and List look at each other.  Then they attack Hart.

Suave- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

PCW Champion Jill Berg (R) runs in and runs off both Code Pink and Emily S List.

MATCH #3 PCW Women’s Title Match: Jill Berg (R) © vs. C.J. Lewis (D) The phenomenon known as Jill Berg comes into PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 as a successful businesswoman and one woman force of political destruction.  She faces young C.J. Lewis.  Lewis, a former waitress at Hooter’s,  charged up to the top of the Democratic ranks by defeating long time standard bearer Kathryn Randall Collins to gain a shot at the PCW Women’s title against Berg.

Democrats want this match badly to continue their ‘Republican‘s War Against Women’ mantra.  Can Lewis overcome her lack of experience and pull off an upset win over Berg?

Lewis in the ring, ready to go.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd roars.

Suave: “THAT’ SOUND!  IT COULD ONLY MEAN ONE PERSON!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman – Ms. Berg.   It’s time.

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman, her male assistant, Jerry.

Suave: “IT’S PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION- JILL BERG!”

The crowd chants “JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp. The male assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder.  He flips it on.

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

THUMP THUMP THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

“JILL-BERG…JILL-BERG…”

Berg hits the ring, warmed up and ready to go after the earlier altercation.

The bell rings and Berg wastes no time going on the attack. Reverse neckbreaker to Lewis followed by a rolling elbow smash.   Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash and the women’s champion is on fire.  At ringside, Code Pink and Emily S List watch as Berg spinkicks Lewis.   C.J. pokes Berg in the eyes to relieve the pressure.  C.J. with a neck scissors but Berg mule kicks her and sends her sprawling.  Berg rolls onto Lewis connecting with a knee.  Code Pink and List interfere and hit a doubleteam gutbuster on the women’s champion. C.J. Lewis gets back to her feet and stares down Code Pink and List.  Berg pops back up and throws her into the turnbuckle.  Berg follows up and smashes Lewis’s head into the corner turnbuckle.

Double axhandle chop from Berg.  Running neckbreaker drop takes C.J. down hard.  Berg locks Lewis in the kneebar but she escapes.  Berg then tosses Lewis out of the ring.  Berg rams Lewis into the corner turnbuckle and the challenger gets a cut as a result.   Berg goes for a belly-to-back superplex but Lewis slips out.  Berg instead hits the jumping sidekick on Lewis.

Suave- So far, Jill Berg’s experience is way too much for the youngster C.J. Lewis.

Back in the ring, Lewis gets hit with a diving elbow smash.  Berg moves in for the kill but Lewis bites her arm out of desparation.  C.J. whips Berg off the ropes and hits a diving shoulder block. Lewis with a headbutt and then a short lariat takes the women’s champion down.

Berg spins and hits Lewis with a back fist.  C.J. whipped hard off the ropes into a clothesline.  Diving elbow smash follows.  Berg grabs C.J.’s head and slams her face into the turnbuckle.  She goes to do it again but this time, Lewis blocks and then drives Berg’s head into the turnbuckle.  Belly-to-belly superplex by Lewis.

Suave- Now the challenger coming back!

Bridging back suplex by Lewis.  She covers…1…2…shoulder up.  Lewis chants start.  Lewis with the body slam.  Cover…1…2…shoulder up again.   Berg rakes her fingers across C.J.’s back. Code Pink and Emily S List again attack.  Doubleteam backbreak to the champion.  Code Pink is going for the Glitter Bomb but wait?

Melissa Joan Hart in the ring with a steel chair.  *WHAP* Down goes Code Pink.  *WHAP*  Down goes List.  Lewis distracted.  Berg back up and chops Lewis.  Berg takes a step back…SPEAR!  She takes a step back…SPINNING HEEL KICK!  Berg lifts Lewis over her shoulder…JACKHAMMER SLAM!  Cover.  Referee counts. …1 …2 …3!

WINNER AND STILL PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Jill Berg ®

Suave- UNBELIEVABLE!  CODE PINK AND EMILY S LIST ARE GOING TO BE PISSED WHEN THEY FIND OUT THEY’VE COST C.J. LEWIS THE MATCH!  HELL, LEWIS IS GOING TO BE PISSED!

Lewis stands up and glares at both Code Pink and List after the match.

MATCH #4  Denny Rehberg (R-MT) vs. Jon Tester (D-MT) Rehberg and Tester will meet in what has been a hotly competitive run up to their Extreme Election Night match.

Tester is the incumbent member of the PCW Executive Committee while Rehberg currently holds a spot on PCW’s Competition Committee.  This is expected to be a knock down, drag out affair with both men seemingly equally matched.

The difference maker in the match could be a third man- Libertarian Dan Cox.  Will Cox be a spoiler and help Tester pull out the win?

Tester starts by bouncing Reiberg off the ropes and clotheslining him. Tester puts Reiberg in an arm grapevine submission but Reiberg pokes Tester in the eyes to escape. Reiberg gets thrown into the turnbuckle. Tester comes over and rams Reiberg’s head into the corner turnbuckle.  Tester goes for a DDT.  But Reiberg stands up and hits Tester with the belly-to-belly suplex.  Reiberg measures Tester up and drops a closed fist.  Then Reiberg whips him out of the ring.

Tester climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Reiberg kicks him back down to the arena floor. Reiberg follows Tester to the outside.  Tester whips Reiberg into the ring steps.  Reiberg gets back to his feet, but Tester attacks again and rolls Reiberg back into the ring.

Dan Cox (L) now walking to the ring.

Tester locks in a rear chin lock in the middle of the ring.   Boot the face by Tester and a cover for a two count.  Tester works over Reiberg.  Cox comes out and tries to stun gun Reiberg.  Reiberg reverse and slings Cox out of the ring.  Tester bails out too and REIBERG DIVES OUT ON BOTH OF THEM!

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Cox tries to run Reiberg into the post.   Reiberg reverses.  He whips Cox into the ring post.  Cox stops in his tracks but Reiberg dropkicks him from behind, sending him hard into the steel!

Crowd- PCW! PCW! PCW!

Back in the ring, Tester hits a few suplexes.  Reiberg spins out of a tilt a whirl attempt by Tester and dropkicks him. Tester with a lariat and goes to Irish whip him into the ropes but Reiberg headbutts him and gets free.  He goes for the splash off the top but Tester moves to safety.  Reiberg surprises Tester with a low blow and rolls-up Tester- he kicks out.  Tester pops up ready to go but Reiberg hits him with the DDT! TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN! Cox comes in to go after Reiberg but HITS TESTER BY ACCIDENT! REIBERG PINS BUT TESTER KICKS OUT AGAIN.

Reiberg brawls with Cox to the outside.  By the time he returns to the ring, Tester’s had way too much time to recover.  Tester in control and throws Reiberg into the railing.  Tester suplexes the actual railing back onto Reiberg.

Crowd- HOLY ****!  HOLY ****!

Tester drags Reiberg back to the ring.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Jon Tester (D)

Republican War Room Republican Leader Reince Priebus anxiously paces back and forth while his pollsters crunch the numbers.

Both Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) burst into the room.

McConnell- Jesus, we’re getting killed out there, Reince!  I thought this was in the bag.

Preibus- That’s what I was told.

Boehner- Now I’m hearing rumors that PCW Owner Bubba Jackson is seriously favoring returning Barack Obama for another four year term as PCW CEO.

Preibus- We’re working on it.

The pollsters hits the phones and try to find out just what the hell is going on.

Suave- So far, the Democrats have the upper hand and this next match is crucial.  Let’s go to the ring.

MATCH #5: Sherrod Brown (D-OH) vs. Josh Mandel (R-OH) Six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006, Sherrod Brown (D-OH) was the outsider taking on entrenched Mike DeWine (R-OH) for a berth on the PCW Executive Committee.

Now the tables have turned and Brown is the insider trying to fight off the challenge of young Josh Mandel (R-OH) and keep his seat.  Can Brown’s experience and guile overcome Mandel’s youthfulness?   The run up has been harsh and contentious and the match at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012 promises to be the same.

Kimber Marshall makes the introductions.  Former PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) join Sherrod Brown at ringside and they taunt the young Mandel before the bell rings.

Brown immediately on the offense and places Mandel on the turnbuckle.  Front-layout superplex.  Mandel tries a spinning leg lariat on Brown who ducks it.  Brown hits Mandel with the double arm DDT into the mat and then connects with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brown climbs to his feet and covers Mandel hooking the leg …1 …2 Mandel kicks out.  Brown grabs Mandel and applies an arm wrench.  Brown covers Mandel. …1 …2 Mandel kicks out again.  Brown hits the German Suplex on Mandel. He knees Mandel and rolls him out of the ring into the waiting arms of Big Union.

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker work Mandel over.  Brown joins in and elbows the midsection. Big Labor lifts Mandel up…powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Big Labor rolls Mandel back into the ring.  Brown makes the academic cover…1..2…3.

WINNER: Sherrod Brown (D)

Nate Silver runs out and shouts that “he was right,” “he was right.”  Suave reminds everyone that we won’t know until later on who will be the PCW CEO.

Suave- The Democrats pick up another one as Brown’s experience rules the day.

‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor gets on the mic after the match.

Big Labor- Scott Walker’s Rangers!  Did you see what happened here?  This is going to happen to you!

BACKSTAGE Vince McMahon tries to get to PCW Owner Bubba Jackson’s office but security blocks his way.

McMahon- DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  I’M VINCE ******* McMAHON!  I’VE MADE MORE MONEY OFF PRO WRESTLING IN ONE HOUR THEN THIS PIECE OF **** POLITICAL FEDERATION WILL EVER MAKE IN IT’S LIFETIME.   THERE’S-

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall.  He grabs McMahon by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

MATCH #6 Claire McCaskill (D-MO) vs. Todd Akin (R-MO) In Missouri, Claire McCaskill (D-MO) is defending her spot on the PCW Executive against challenger Todd Akin (R-MO).

Early on, the conventional wisdom was that McCaskill was vulnerable.  However, once Akin opened up a big can of controversy over his ‘legitimate rape’ remarks, McCaskill has climbed back into the contest.  Can McCaskill close the deal or will Akin somehow manage to overcome his own missteps to win a spot on the Executive Committee.

McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Claire McCaskill (D)

Once again, Nate Silver runs out and shouts “I told ya!  I told ya!”

Backstage Claire McCaskill high fives an aide as she makes her to the back.  She’s confronted by Richard Mourdock (R-IN).

Mourdock- I can’t believe you did that to him.

Replay: McCaskill vs. Akin McCaskill walked out, kicked Akin in the balls.  Akin to the mat.  McCaskill nailed him again in the balls.  Cover…1…2…3.

Mourdock- That was totally not called for.  Totally not- OOOF.

McCaskill splits the uprights with a well placed kick and drops Mourdock.

Republican Locker Room “The Mastermind” Karl Rove, as always, pointing to his temple to make sure everyone realizes he’s a f****** genius,  is doing his best to keep a semblance of order.

Suave- Yeah, good luck with that.

Democratic Locker Room Talking with Stephanie Cutter, David Axelrod isn’t nearly as concerned about the welfare of his mustache as he was earlier in the night.

Axelrod- It’s time to unleash the GOTV.

Suave- We’re ready for our next match and it should be a good one.

MATCH #7 Tim Kaine (D-VA) vs. George Allen (R-VA) George Allen (R-VA) lost a tough match six years ago at Extreme Election Night 2006 to James Webb (D-VA).

Tonight, Allen looks to return to the PCW Executive Committee as he takes on former Democratic Leader Tim Kaine (D-VA). This will be another bellwether match to gauge whether the Republicans will regain control of the Executive Committee and there’s a lot riding on the result.

Suave- I’m not sure if it’s as much of a bellwether now.  It’s clear the Democrats are going to hold the PCW Executive Committee and the Republicans the Competition Committee.

Following Kimber Marshall’s introductions, the bell rings.  Kaine comes out on fire and nails Allen repeatedly with right hands.  Allen whipped into the corner.  Kaine places Allen on the turnbuckle- front-layout suplex.  Kaine gets nailed with a charging axhandle bodyblock from Allen.  Kaine sweeps Allen’s leg and rolls onto him with a knee.  Allen gets right up and nails Kaine with an inverted DDT. He sends Kaine to ringside and follows.  Allen throws a chair at Kaine.  High crossbody by Allen.  Kaine punched in the gut but Kaine comes back with a rake to the eyes and heads back to the ring.  Allen follows but gets pulled back to the floor by the Democrats GOTV (Grapple to Total Victory)- consisting of Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy.

Hey, it was the best we could come up with.

Bain lifts Allen and hits a running powerbomb through a table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Bain and O’Kennedy roll Allen back into the ring.  Belly to belly by Kaine.  Cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Tim Kaine (D)

Nate Silver again runs out to proclaim that “he was right.”

Republican Locker Room ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove can’t believe it.   Republican Leader Reince Preibus can’t believe it.  He again turns to the pollsters.

Preibus – What’s going on here?

Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly walks in.

O’Reilly- I’ll tell you what’s going on.  You’re getting your ass kicked.

Preibus- Where are the Independents?

BACKSTAGE Speaking of PCW’s Independent/Unaffiliated contingent, they enter through a back door into Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon led by ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan.

An aide comes up to Escondido and tells him that Barack Obama wants to talk with him.  Escondido nods and leaves with the aide while Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and Ken Worth- The American Trucker wait.

Suave- Here are the Black Swamp Pirates!”

The crowd stands and cheers as the Pirates come out and plug themselves in. The lead singer, Junior Jackson, strums his acoustic guitar and steps up to the mic.

Jackson- Y’all know this one.  This is our ode to Keith Olbermann.  It’s called ‘Keith.’

Jackson (sings):Keith, you hit it big at ESPN But then your tenure there came to an abrupt end I know it seems so silly They won’t let you back in the building Even when you went back, and worked for them again

“Keith, you didn’t let them keep you down So you traveled on from town to different town Fox Sports didn’t work out well MSNBC the first time was hell Cause Bill Clinton, and Monica was going down “But on Countdown, you found the thing that finally worked

So you became even more of an overbearing elitist jerk And now you just don’t care

Compared to you Fox News is balanced and fair And you make good ol’ Ann Coulter seem almost moderate to us

Jackson- All right, let’s go now…

(Big Chorus) “Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

Jackson- All right, everyone follow the bouncing ball and sing along!

“Keith You’re the hero of the left. And the cultural elitists Who think they’re better than the rest With your furrowed brow Your mocking smile Special Comments serious and terse I might be the worst person in the world But you’re the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe You said, I was the worst person in the world But you’re still the biggest @######, in the whole wide universe

The Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon crowd give them a standing ovation. Johnny Suave even gives them a standing ovation.

MATCH #8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) vs. Scott Brown (R-MA) Two years ago, Brown (R-MA) upset Martha Coakley (D-MA) for a spot on the PCW Executive Committee. This year, he finds himself in a battle royale with challenger Elizabeth Warren (D-MA).

Warren, who has Democratic political wrestling stalwarts Code Pink and Emily S List in her corner, is pushing hard to return the Massachusett’s seat back to the Democrats.

Can Brown hold off Warren’s challenge?  Will Warren pick off a seat the Republicans need to take back control of the PCW Executive Committee?   We’ll find out in just four days at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012.

Warren trips up Brown and then hits a corkscrew legdrop.  Brown climbs to his feet and kicks Warren in the groin.  She drops like a shot.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  DID HE JUST DO WHAT I THOUGHT HE DID?

Warren jumps back up and kicks Brown in the groin just as the Democratic GOTV hits the ring again.  Bain bounces Brown off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat.  Paddy O’Kennedy gives Brown a reverse neckbreaker.  Bain nails Brown with a huge slingshot sommersault splash.

Suave- The Democrat’s GOTV is kicking ass.  Where’s the Republican answer?

Republican Locker Room Reince Preibus is talking with a rather large gentleman…as in really large.

Preibus- ORCA.  I need you to get in there and take out the GOTV.

ORCA nods and lumbers out the door.

Back ringside, Brown brawls outside with O’Kennedy but not for long.  Bain sets up a pair of chairs in the ring and powerbombs Brown on them. Warren brings a table into play.  Belly to belly from Bain sends Brown through the table.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus is furious.

Preibus- Where the **** is ORCA?

Cut to…

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM Preibus- SON OF A BITCH!

Back in the ring, Bain rolls what’s left of Brown in and Warren makes the academic cover…1…2…3.

WINNER: Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) join Warren and the GOTV in the ring to celebrate.

And yes, Nate Silver again runs out and…yeah.

At ringside, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews is just giddy as the Democrats not only hold the PCW Executive Committee but Barack Obama appear to be on the verge of a second term as PCW CEO.

Matthews- Thank God that hurricane came along!

(CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!

Matthews- NO!  I didn’t mean it like that!

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down to ringside.   Matthews tries to run for it but WTF grabs him by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

BACKSTAGE

PCW’s Towel Boy returns from cleaning the ring ropes and jokes that the Republicans are as dead as the Los Angeles Lakers.

Suddenly, Kobe Bryant walks in and…

Kobe Death Stare

Suave- DON’T LOOK!  DON’T LOOK!

Towel Boy drops dead quicker than the Lakers pulled the plug on Mike Brown this season.

Suave- HE LOOKED!

Meanwhile…

THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF THE REPUBLICAN LOCKER ROOM ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove (D), pointing to his temple to remind everyone just how much of a f****** genius he is, continues to try to reassure the Republicans that everything’s okay…

…and it’s not working.

MATCH #9 PCW Tag Team Title Match: Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (Rep) © vs. Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D) Ever since Scott Walker’s Rangers won the PCW Tag Team belts at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 8 pay per view, Big Union and the Democrats have been gunning for a return match.  Tonight at PCW Extreme Election Night 2012, the two combustible forces will smash into each other with only one team leaving the ring as the PCW Tag Team champions.

Kimber Marshall – Our next match is for the PCW Tag Team Title.  On the way to the ring at this time, ‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker!!!

Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker, accompanied by the Democrats’ GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy, PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, come to the ring.

Kimber Marshall – and their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Scott Walker (R-WI), they are the PCW Tag Team Champions- the team of Ronnie Walker and John Walker, Scott Walker’s Rangers!

Ronnie Walker and John Walker walk to the ring with Scott Walker.

Suave- This is it…Big Union has been waiting for this match and tonight they get their shot at regaining the PCW Tag Team Title.

PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY) join Scott Walker ringside as the bell sounds.

Ronnie Walker charges across the ring and nails Big Labor with a charging axhandle bodyblock.  Ronnie springs off the ropes but this time Big Labor clotheslines him.  Ronnie Walker tries to come back with a jawbreakeron but Big Labor pushes him off.  Big Labor tackles Ronnie Walker and punches him repeatedly.

Suave – Big Labor trying to use his power and strength against Ronnie Walker.

Ronnie tries a waistlock suplex but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  Big Labor throws him out to the floor.  Big Labor follows and tells Ronnie he wants to wrestle.  Then he promptly nails Ronnie with a folding chair.  Big Labor with a backdrops and Paddy O’Kennedy of the Democratic GOTV follows with a pescado.  Big Labor decides to get mean and dumps Ronnie Walker on the rail. Big Labor throws him over the rail into the crowd. The fight heads out into the fans for a brawl.  Big Labor takes it up a notch by powerbombing Ronnie Walker on the floor.

Suave- Well, he’s dead. It’s over.

The crowd calls for Nurse Nellie and the PCW Clean Up Crew.

Nurse Nellie

Big Labor calls for the bell saying it’s over.  But somehow Boehner and McConnell roll Ronnie back in.

Big Labor chases Boehner and McConnell from the ring and turns and shoulder tackles Ronnie Walker.  Ronnie Walker then whipped into the corner.  He stumbled back out and right into a gut-wrench powerbomb.  Ronnie tries to crawl to his corner but James the Jeep Worker slips in and pulls him across the ring.  Big Labor goes to the top and drops the Elbow on Ronnie Walker.  Cover…1…2…John Walker in for the save.

Suave- JOHN WALKER JUST MAKES THE SAVE AND NOW HE’S BRAWLING WITH JAMES THE JEEP WORKER.

John and James roll out of the ring and spill onto the floor.  Ronnie Walker tries for a crotch slam but can’t lift Big Labor.   Samoan Drop by Big Labor and Ronnie Walker is down. John Walker back in.  Big Labor clotheslines John Walker. Ronnie Walker blasts Big Labor from behind with a chairshot and pummels his head.  Ronnie Walker drops a closed fist.  Now James the Jeep Worker in and he tackles Ronnie Walker.  Big Labor sends Ronnie Walker into the turnbuckle.  In comes Bain and he splashes Ronnie Walker.  Now, O’Kennedy back in.  Spinning neck-breaker sends Ronnie to the mat.

Suave- No doubt about it.  The Democrats’ GOTV is kicking serious ass here tonight.  What happened to the Independents?

In a back hallway Heartland Champion William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, Mike the Mechanic, and the rest of the Independents were sprawled over the floor with the Chicago Boss Squad and the Department of Justice standing over them.

Suave- Oh…

Big Labor pulls Ronnie Walker up.  James the Jeep Worker in- swinging bulldog on drives Ronnie’s face to the mat.  John Walker again in the ring but he gets intercepted by O’Kennedy.  Ronnie Walker tries for a inverted backbreaker but is not strong enough to lift Big Labor.  But Big Labor can…Powerslam! Powerslam! Powerslam! Big Labor flings sweat at Ronnie and hits a fourth powerslam.

Mitch McConnell is audibly heard shouting into a cell phone, “Where the **** is ORCA?”

CONCESSION STAND ORCA’s STILL patiently waiting in line at the ice cream stand.

RINGSIDE McConnell- SON OF A BITCH!

Big Labor with a spine buster to Ronnie Walker.  He lifts Ronnie Walker and drops him with a ScabBuster.  Cover…1   John Walker in for one last try but  gets Picket Lined by James the Jeep Worker.  …2…3.

WINNER AND NEW PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)

Reid, Pelosi, and the GOTV mob Big Union in the ring after the referee gave them the PCW Tag Team belts.

Suave- Two time PCW Tag Team Champions- Big Union regains the belts here at PCW Extreme Election Night.

BACKSTAGE ‘The Mastermind’ Karl Rove, slightly disheveled now, insists to anyone who’ll listen that it’s still not over.

Rove- There’s something not right about this-

CUE: Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’

Suave: IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT…AGAIN!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races down the hall. He grabs Rove by the hair…kick to the balls. Lift. Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

As yet again, the PCW clean up crew comes down to clean the mess left behind, Suave again reviews the results up to date:

Match 1- Jeff Flake (R-AZ) def. Rich Carmona (D-AZ) with an assist from ‘Straight Shootin’ John McCain and Jon Kyl.

Match 2- Chris Murphy (D-CT) def. Linda McMahon (R-CT) after the referee ejected McMahon’s husband, WWE Magnate Vince McMahon and her family from ringside.

Match 3- Jill Berg ® retained the PCW Women’s title over C.J. Lewis (D) when Code Pink and Emily S List’s interference backfired thanks to a hand from Melissa Joan Hart.

Match 4- Jon Tester (D-MT) def. Denny Rehberg (R-MT)

Match 5- Sherrod Brown (D-OH) def. Josh Mandel (R-OH)

Match 6- Claire McCaskill (D-MO) def. Todd Akin (R-MO)

Match 7- Tim Kaine (D-VA) def. George Allen (R-VA)

Match 8- Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) def. Scott Brown (R-MA)

Match 9- Big Union: “The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) def. Scott Walker’s Rangers: John and Ronnie Walker (R) to win the PCW Tag Team Title.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE No movement yet.  Security continues to stand guard outside the door.

HALLWAY Karl Rove (R) keeps trying to keep everyone calm.

Back to the ring.

Suave- And now, it all comes down to this.  The PCW Title match.  Let’s go to the ring.

MAIN EVENT- PCW Title Match: Triple R (D)© vs. P.M.C. Banks (R) Finally, the big one- the PCW Title match.  After several years of trying, after switching parties multiple times and trying new personas, Triple R  finally won the title from The Sanderman (D) at the Democratic National Convention.

Now, the veteran Angry Highway Warrior also known as Road Range Randy gets boy banker P.M.C. Banks ® as his first major challenge as PCW Champion.  In a match that always serves as a bellwether to who will be selected the next PCW CEO, Banks finds himself the underdog to Triple R. in this Tuesday’s title encounter.

Can the young Banks close out Triple R’s title run at a scant two months? Will Triple R take it to the political extreme and retain his PCW Title belt? We’re about to find out.

Marshall- This next match is for the PCW Title. Coming to the ring, the challenger from the financial district of Manhattan, Republican P.M.C. Banks!

Banks slowly comes to the ring accompanied by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), aide de camp candidate Paul Ryan (R-WI), PCW Competition Committee Chair John Boehner (R-OH), Boehner’s aide Eric Cantor (R-VA), and Mitch ‘It’s Your Constitiutional Right to Spend as Much Money as You Want to Buy Influence in Our Government’ McConnell (R-KY).

Banks warily climbs into the ring.

Marshall- And his opponent, he is the ‘Angry Highway Warrior.  He is Road Rage Randy.  But you can call him the P-C-W Champion!  Triple R!

Triple R comes to the ring with PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL), Obama’s aide de camp Joe ‘Don’t Call Me Neil Kinnock’ Biden (D-DE), PCW Executive Committee Chair Harry ‘Don’t Call Me Emperor Palpatine’ Reid (D-NV), and Nancy Pelosi.

Triple R goes to the center of the ring and offers his hand to Banks.  Banks cautiously reciprocates but Triple R pulls it away at the last second and knifehand chops the challenger.  The bell rings and it’s on.

Banks runs out and Triple R takes him down with a knee. The champion goes for an arm grapevine submission but Banks gets back to his feet.  Triple R slaps Banks and taunts him.  Triple R picks up Banks and front slams him to the mat. He hooks the leg for an early cover but Banks kicks out.  Banks gets thrown into the turnbuckle.  Triple R comes over and smashes Banks’s head into it and then brings Banks back out and hits jumping neck snap.  Triple R goes top rope but Banks recovers and pulls him down hard to the mat.  Banks drops Triple R neck first over the ropes and then sends him to ringside.  Banks does a cartwheel and kicks Triple R in the face.  Kneeling headbutt to Triple R’s groin.

Suave- And they’re outside.  Not sure this is a good idea for Banks.

Banks starts to head back into the ring but again, the Democrats GOTV: Bain and Paddy O’Kennedy (D) come down and interject themselves into the match. Bain pulls Banks back through the ropes and then wings him hard into the guardrail.   O’Kennedy leaps from the ring apron and dropkicks Banks into the guardrail.  Triple R grabs a TV cable and starts choking out Banks with it.  Romney climbs up on the apron to complain but…

Candy Crowley of CNN steps in between the referee and Mitt Romney.

Suave- WHAT THE HELL? CROWLEY’S STOPPING ROMNEY FROM ARGUING WITH THE REFEREE?

While that’s going on, Triple R starts bashing Banks with crap and then lays him over the rail before dropping a leg.   O’Kennedy sets up a table and Triple R can drive Bank’s head through it.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!

Banks is bleeding all over the place.  O’Kennedy dropkicks a chair into Banks’ face for good measure.  Banks falls back on his arm awkwardly and appears to have injured it.  Triple R wastes no time and goes after the injured arm with chairshots.  Triple R with the DDT.  The GOTV set up a table.  Triple R sets Banks up but O’Kennedy miscues and accidently superkicks Triple R.

Suave- HOLY CRAP!  He just took Triple R’s head off.

But O’Kennedy moonsaults Banks.  New PCW Tag Team Champions Big Union: Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker run down and set Banks up on the table.  O’Kennedy with another moonsault but the table doesn’t break.  Big Labor throws Banks back into the ring.  Triple R covers but only gets two.  Big Labor  immediately hits the Scabbuster and Triple R covers…1…2…NO!  ORCA?  ORCA MADE THE SAVE?

Suave- Well, it’s bloody about time he did something.

It’s shortlived.  Both the GOTV and Big Union attack ORCA and drive him from the ring.  Triple R sets up the table in the corner and whips Banks through it.  Cover…1…2…Banks kicks out.  Triple R stomps Banks.  Double arm DDT by the champion and another cover..1…2..somehow Banks kicks out again.  Banks then low bridges Triple R and rallies.  He rains down right hands on the champion.  Banks for the Moneybomb and hits it…but MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O’Donnell, and Ed Schultz race to the ring and complain to the referee.  That brings down Fox News’s contingent of Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, and Megyn Kelly and while Banks has Triple R pinned, MSNBC, joined by ABC, NBC, CBS, and Fox News argue with the referee.

Five Thirty Eight’s Nate Silver sneaks into the ring and whaps Banks in the head with a large book of spreadsheets and Triple R manages to regain control of the match.  Triple R with a forearm. And another.  Banks ducks a third so Triple R hits a sit down powerbomb!  Pissed off, Triple R leaves the ring and goes and gets the ring bell. The referee tries to take it away from him.

Suave- TRIPLE R WITH THE RING BELL!  HE DID THE EXACT SAME THING FIVE YEARS AGO AT LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 3!

Replay: PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 3 Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S A FREAKIN’ RUMBLE!” Somewhere away from the crowd, Starz’s lariat attempt is blocked when Triple R rips the bell away from the referee and slams it in Starz’s face. Suave: “GAME OVER! ONE, TWO, THREE! THAT’S IT! TRIPLE R HAS REGAINED THE PCW TITLE.!”

Triple R in the ring with the bell.  Romney and Ryan both on the apron to complain to the referee and…what?

ABC’s Martha Raddatz runs down the ramp.

Suave- What is SHE doing down here?

Triple R blasts Banks with the bell.  Raddatz shouts at the referee and points to the ring.  The referee turns and Triple R has Banks pinned…1…2…3.

WINNER AND STILL PCW CHAMPION: Triple R (D)

The Democrats in the crowd are ecstatic.  The Republicans?  Stunned.

BACKSTAGE- OUTSIDE PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON’S OFFICE The door opens and out walks PCW Owner Bubba Jackson.

Suave- IT’S TIME!  BUBBA JACKSON IS ON HIS WAY TO THE RING!

Crowd- PCW…PCW…PCW!

Obama, Triple R, and the Democrats celebrate in the ring.

Suave- AND NOW, IT’S TIME TO FIND OUT IF BARACK OBAMA GETS FOUR MORE YEARS AT THE HELM OF PCW OR WHETHER MITT ROMNEY WILL TAKE HIS PLACE!

Silver takes the microphone from Suave.

Silver- I ALREADY TOLD YOU ALL.  THESE SPREADSHEETS PROVE THAT OBAMA WILL BE NAMED THE PCW CEO AGAIN.  I TOLD YOU…I TOLD YOU ALL…I TOLD-

CUE: Def Leppard’s Tear It Down)

Suave: YES!  HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!

Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – I can’t wait another day Tear it down – There’s got to be a better way Tear it down – If only you could stay All night long

Crowd: What the @#$#!…What the @!##!

Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot races to the ring.  He grabs Silver by the hair…kick to the balls.  Lift.  Chokeslam.

Crowd- PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave- Thank you.  And now, it’s time…

PCW OWNER BUBBA JACKSON ANNOUNCES THE NEW PCW CEO Jackson thanks everyone for coming out.

Jackson- We’ve been through a lot over the past four years.  The deficit is way too high and PCW is not on the soundest economic ground right now.

David Axelrod says the conditions were bad when Obama started his term in 2009.

Jackson- No.  George W. Bush hasn’t been the PCW CEO for the past four years.   This was a tough call but I have come to a decision.  The PCW mid and lower card wrestlers are struggling hard right now.  Mitt Romney.  You ran a good campaign but in the end- what solutions to our problems did you propose differed than the ones Republicans have proposed in the past?  Cut taxes?  These times call for breaking out of the same old ideas.

Jackson motions to Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid and Republicans John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to step forward.

Jackson- You along with the current, and next, PCW CEO Barack Obama helped make this mess.  You need to fix it.   It’s Obama.

The Democrats erupt as Obama wins a second term as PCW CEO.   Obama and Romney shake hands in the ring as the scene dissolves to the Des Moines International Airport in Des Moines, Iowa.

Marco Rubio (R-FL) exits a plane and climbs into a waiting limo.

[fatliberation]

they have a point though. you wouldn't need everyone to accommodate you if you just lost weight, but you're too lazy to stick to a healthy diet and exercise. it's that simple. I'd like to see you back up your claims, but you have no proof. you have got to stop lying to yourselves and face the facts

Must I go through this again? Fine. FINE. You guys are working my nerves today. You want to talk about facing the facts? Let's face the fucking facts.

In 2022, the US market cap of the weight loss industry was $75 billion [1, 3]. In 2021, the global market cap of the weight loss industry was estimated at $224.27 billion [2]. 

In 2020, the market shrunk by about 25%, but rebounded and then some since then [1, 3] By 2030, the global weight loss industry is expected to be valued at $405.4 billion [2]. If diets really worked, this industry would fall overnight. 

1. LaRosa, J. March 10, 2022. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Shrinks by 25% in 2020 with Pandemic, but Rebounds in 2021." Market Research Blog. 2. Staff. February 09, 2023. "[Latest] Global Weight Loss and Weight Management Market Size/Share Worth." Facts and Factors Research. 3. LaRosa, J. March 27, 2023. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Partially Recovers from the Pandemic." Market Research Blog.

Over 50 years of research conclusively demonstrates that virtually everyone who intentionally loses weight by manipulating their eating and exercise habits will regain the weight they lost within 3-5 years. And 75% will actually regain more weight than they lost [4].

4. Mann, T., Tomiyama, A.J., Westling, E., Lew, A.M., Samuels, B., Chatman, J. (2007). "Medicare’s Search For Effective Obesity Treatments: Diets Are Not The Answer." The American Psychologist, 62, 220-233. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Apr. 2007.

The annual odds of a fat person attaining a so-called “normal” weight and maintaining that for 5 years is approximately 1 in 1000 [5].

5. Fildes, A., Charlton, J., Rudisill, C., Littlejohns, P., Prevost, A.T., & Gulliford, M.C. (2015). “Probability of an Obese Person Attaining Normal Body Weight: Cohort Study Using Electronic Health Records.” American Journal of Public Health, July 16, 2015: e1–e6.

Doctors became so desperate that they resorted to amputating parts of the digestive tract (bariatric surgery) in the hopes that it might finally result in long-term weight-loss. Except that doesn’t work either. [6] And it turns out it causes death [7],  addiction [8], malnutrition [9], and suicide [7].

6. Magro, Daniéla Oliviera, et al. “Long-Term Weight Regain after Gastric Bypass: A 5-Year Prospective Study - Obesity Surgery.” SpringerLink, 8 Apr. 2008. 7. Omalu, Bennet I, et al. “Death Rates and Causes of Death After Bariatric Surgery for Pennsylvania Residents, 1995 to 2004.” Jama Network, 1 Oct. 2007.  8. King, Wendy C., et al. “Prevalence of Alcohol Use Disorders Before and After Bariatric Surgery.” Jama Network, 20 June 2012.  9. Gletsu-Miller, Nana, and Breanne N. Wright. “Mineral Malnutrition Following Bariatric Surgery.” Advances In Nutrition: An International Review Journal, Sept. 2013.

Evidence suggests that repeatedly losing and gaining weight is linked to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function [10].

10. Tomiyama, A Janet, et al. “Long‐term Effects of Dieting: Is Weight Loss Related to Health?” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6 July 2017.

Prescribed weight loss is the leading predictor of eating disorders [11].

11. Patton, GC, et al. “Onset of Adolescent Eating Disorders: Population Based Cohort Study over 3 Years.” BMJ (Clinical Research Ed.), 20 Mar. 1999.

The idea that “obesity” is unhealthy and can cause or exacerbate illnesses is a biased misrepresentation of the scientific literature that is informed more by bigotry than credible science [12]. 

12. Medvedyuk, Stella, et al. “Ideology, Obesity and the Social Determinants of Health: A Critical Analysis of the Obesity and Health Relationship” Taylor & Francis Online, 7 June 2017.

“Obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition [13, 14] and its appearance may be a protective response to the onset of numerous chronic conditions generated from currently unknown causes [15, 16, 17, 18].

13. Kahn, BB, and JS Flier. “Obesity and Insulin Resistance.” The Journal of Clinical Investigation, Aug. 2000. 14. Cofield, Stacey S, et al. “Use of Causal Language in Observational Studies of Obesity and Nutrition.” Obesity Facts, 3 Dec. 2010.  15. Lavie, Carl J, et al. “Obesity and Cardiovascular Disease: Risk Factor, Paradox, and Impact of Weight Loss.” Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 26 May 2009.  16. Uretsky, Seth, et al. “Obesity Paradox in Patients with Hypertension and Coronary Artery Disease.” The American Journal of Medicine, Oct. 2007.  17. Mullen, John T, et al. “The Obesity Paradox: Body Mass Index and Outcomes in Patients Undergoing Nonbariatric General Surgery.” Annals of Surgery, July 2005. 18. Tseng, Chin-Hsiao. “Obesity Paradox: Differential Effects on Cancer and Noncancer Mortality in Patients with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.” Atherosclerosis, Jan. 2013.

Fatness was associated with only 1/3 the associated deaths that previous research estimated and being “overweight” conferred no increased risk at all, and may even be a protective factor against all-causes mortality relative to lower weight categories [19].

19. Flegal, Katherine M. “The Obesity Wars and the Education of a Researcher: A Personal Account.” Progress in Cardiovascular Diseases, 15 June 2021.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called “normal weight” people are “unhealthy” whereas about 50% of so-called “overweight” people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone [20]. 

20. Rey-López, JP, et al. “The Prevalence of Metabolically Healthy Obesity: A Systematic Review and Critical Evaluation of the Definitions Used.” Obesity Reviews : An Official Journal of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, 15 Oct. 2014.

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national obesity rates (nearly 35% for adults and 18% for kids), the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as fat overnight—to match international guidelines. But critics noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs [21].

21. Butler, Kiera. “Why BMI Is a Big Fat Scam.” Mother Jones, 25 Aug. 2014. 

Body size is largely determined by genetics [22].

22. Wardle, J. Carnell, C. Haworth, R. Plomin. “Evidence for a strong genetic influence on childhood adiposity despite the force of the obesogenic environment” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition Vol. 87, No. 2, Pages 398-404, February 2008.

Healthy lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index [23].  

23. Matheson, Eric M, et al. “Healthy Lifestyle Habits and Mortality in Overweight and Obese Individuals.” Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine : JABFM, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 25 Feb. 2012.

Weight stigma itself is deadly. Research shows that weight-based discrimination increases risk of death by 60% [24].

24. Sutin, Angela R., et al. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality .” Association for Psychological Science, 25 Sept. 2015.

Fat stigma in the medical establishment [25] and society at large arguably [26] kills more fat people than fat does [27, 28, 29].

25. Puhl, Rebecca, and Kelly D. Bronwell. “Bias, Discrimination, and Obesity.” Obesity Research, 6 Sept. 2012. 26. Engber, Daniel. “Glutton Intolerance: What If a War on Obesity Only Makes the Problem Worse?” Slate, 5 Oct. 2009.  27. Teachman, B. A., Gapinski, K. D., Brownell, K. D., Rawlins, M., & Jeyaram, S. (2003). Demonstrations of implicit anti-fat bias: The impact of providing causal information and evoking empathy. Health Psychology, 22(1), 68–78. 28. Chastain, Ragen. “So My Doctor Tried to Kill Me.” Dances With Fat, 15 Dec. 2009. 29. Sutin, Angelina R, Yannick Stephan, and Antonio Terraciano. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality.” Psychological Science, 26 Nov. 2015.

There's my "proof." Where is yours?

[omgellendean]

So, Sacha Baron Cohen recently endorsed Kamala Harris in a fittingly racist islamophobic manner, by bringing back his character Borat. Yes, it's 2024.

Anyway, here's a 2022 investigation of SBC's vile Zionism and connections to the USA and Israeli intelligence, as well as an insight into the role of the US-American cinema as a propaganda tool.

Article: https://www.mintpressnews.com/closer-scrutiny-reveals-close-state-power-sacha-baron-cohen-really/279355/

Archived link: https://archive.is/7dSTL

Some quotes:

When asked about the national security state’s role in shaping pop culture, the former intelligence officer [John Kiriakou] said that it is “far more cynical” than most people realize, explaining:

” There is a branch inside the CIA’s Office Of Public Affairs whose job is solely to work with Hollywood Studios. This is something that the FBI has been doing since the 1940s. They’ll cooperate and give the red carpet treatment to any Hollywood studio that’s willing to make the CIA look good. “ [...]

In the end, “Brüno’s” production company did interview someone they claimed was a terrorist (in the Letterman interview, Baron Cohen described the man as such eight times in the space of three minutes). However, the person in question – Palestinian grocer and NGO worker Ayman Abu Aita – vigorously denied he was a terrorist at all. He claimed that Baron Cohen had told him the interview would be about his peace activism and that his life and business had been destroyed as a result. Abu Aita sued for nearly $100 million. The case was settled for an undisclosed sum in 2012. [...]

Even from an early age, Sacha was reportedly obsessed with the Jewish state. “He was very Zionist, very involved in Habo,” recalled one friend, referring to Habonim Dror, a left-wing Zionist group of which he was a member. Others remembered him as “a very nerdy, very funny, Israel-oriented guy” who went to live on a kibbutz in his youth. He appears to idolize Shimon Peres, traveling to meet him in 2012 and sharing quotes from the former Israeli president on his social media accounts. Peres, of course, oversaw the genocide of Palestinians in 1948, attempted to sell nuclear weapons to Apartheid South Africa, and carried out the ethnic cleansing of the Galilee region. [...]

Unsurprisingly, Baron Cohen has also campaigned fiercely against the Boycott Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement, presenting it as viciously antisemitic. “Boycotting? Yeah, fantastic. As long as they are Jews, it is alright. I’m not a racist, but keep the Jews out,” he said, in an attempt to satirize their position. [...]

Much of the movie is actually spent “on location” in “Kazakhstan,” where Borat takes the viewer around an unimaginably poor-looking village, making fun of how backward “his people” are. There are no Western egos or ignorance being punctured here. In fact, it was shot in a gypsy encampment in Romania, where locals were paid around $3 each to be humiliated by a man who spoke to them in a language they did not understand. The villagers were told they were appearing in a sympathetic documentary highlighting their lives. “Borat” made over $262 million at the box office. [...]

The racism was further amplified with the 2020 release of “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Within the first two minutes of the sequel, Borat informs us that Kazakhstan has canceled their traditional event, “the running of the Jew,” but fortunately his country still has Holocaust Remembrance Day, “when we commemorate our heroic soldiers who ran the camps.” Borat also received an award, which he stated will be “put in our national museum along with other treasure we have confiscated from Jews.” [...]

In actual fact, as many have pointed out, Kazakhstan was a haven for Jewish people during the Holocaust, not a perpetrator of it, saving thousands of Jewish lives by taking in people from Eastern Europe and other states of the U.S.S.R. Today, the country is��commended by Jewish groups as a model of tolerance. It is also, notably, not a helplessly sexist nation; Save The Children ranked it higher than the United States in its list of best countries to grow up female.

This is a rather inconvenient truth for the Israeli state-building project Baron Cohen supports. Ironically, perhaps the most shocking and newsworthy case of exposing bigotry Baron Cohen has documented has never been revealed. While in character as Brüno in Jerusalem, Baron Cohen was beaten nearly to death by an enraged crowd of homophobic Israelis, who, angered by his camp and sacrilegious attire, started stoning him, on camera. Baron Cohen was reportedly “nearly killed.” Kiriakou told MintPress that Baron Cohen told him that a rabbi even spat on him. It was the only time in his career that he broke character and desperately yelled that he was an Israeli Jew, not a homosexual foreigner. The comedian fled for his life and found refuge in a nearby store bathroom. This footage has never seen the light of day. Perhaps it sends the “wrong” message.

[figureskatingcostumes]

Gretchen Donlan and Andrew Speroff performing in the closing gala of the 2012 US Championships.

(Source: Absolute Skating)

[reasonsforhope]

"Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear banned the use of “conversion therapy” on minors in Kentucky on Wednesday, calling his executive order a necessary step to protect children from a widely discredited practice that tries to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity through counseling.

The governor used his executive powers after Republicans who control the state legislature repeatedly blocked efforts to enact a state law banning the practice. Beshear said he would no longer wait for others to “do what’s right.”

“My faith teaches me that all children are children of God,” Beshear said during the signing ceremony at the Kentucky Capitol. “And where practices are endangering and even harming those children, we must act. The practice of so-called ‘conversion therapy’ hurts our children.”

It was the latest action in a national debate over conversion therapy and the rights of LGBTQ+ children and their families.

The Kentucky event stirred many emotions. Activists for mental health and LGBTQ+ rights cheered the governor, but as he prepared to sign the ban, someone nearby shouted, “This is a denial of affirmation therapy!” Supporters drowned out the protest.

Among those in attendance was Zach Meiners, a 34-year-old filmmaker who said he wants young people to be spared the anguish and harm he endured during four years of therapy as a teenager, which caused him “anxiety and depression in ways that I’m still unraveling.”

“I can speak firsthand to how devastating it can be to someone’s mental health,” Meiners said in an interview. “And I consider myself very lucky to be a survivor.” ...

Nearly half the states and the District of Columbia prohibit conversion therapy on minors, Beshear’s office said. In Kentucky, 21% of LGBTQ young people reported being threatened with or subjected to conversion therapy, according to the Trevor Project, a suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people."

-via AP News, September 18, 2024

--

Note: That last paragraph puts in perspective for me just how far we've come, even amongst all the hate. Fifteen years ago, not a single state banned conversion therapy for minors. Ten years ago, only two states banned conversion therapy. As of this law, 24 states now ban conversion therapy for minors, plus DC, with another three having some restrictions on the process.

I remember how amazed and relieved I was, when my state (California) became the second state ever to ban conversion therapy for minor in 2012. Now those protections apply to almost half of the states, and probably well over half the US population (I'm too tired to do the math but blue states tend to have significantly more people.)

They can't close the barn doors on this. It's too late. We're already out the door, and our rights are breaking out alongside us more and more every year.

[rabbitcruiser]

The Golden Gate Bridge opened to pedestrian traffic on May 27, 1937, creating a vital link between San Francisco and Marin County, California.

The Golden Gate Bridge opened to vehicular traffic on May 28, 1937.

[cannabiscomrade]

anticapitalist special interest dump incoming

capitalism corrupts everything it touches, even weather forecasting

US private media companies like AccuWeather and The Weather Channel take publicly available forecasting information provided by the National Weather Service, a publicly funded government service, and repackages it into their own forecast and disseminates the info.

In 2005, AccuWeather lobbied to attempt to ban The National Weather Service from sharing predictions with anyone besides commercial entities. In 2012 they successfully blocked the NWS from producing a free app for the public.

This allows there to be an inaccessible filter on free, timely, and accurate weather information and forces it to be distributed through for profit apps. Even free apps are bogged with ads and delayed alerts.

The G Word with Adam Conover covers this extensively and I highly recommend watching that episode or reading the transcript here [x] but I will sum it up, starting with an episode quote:

"Imagine a future where extreme weather warnings live behind a pay wall." In 2015, AccuWeather received warnings from the NWS that a tornado was heading towards Moore, OK, a city that has been decimated by F5/EF5 tornadoes twice. They only notified users that were paying for the app.

So what can you do about it?

Get your local forecast directly from The National Weather Service's official site weather.gov !

Follow your local meteorologists on social media, especially if you're in an active weather area.

If you're in tornado prone areas, follow storm chasers on social media and check the Convective Outlook during your tornado season.

Get a NOAA weather radio or tune to your local NWR station! They are the most reliable source of weather information in the event of a power outage and the coverage area is extensive. They cover all hazards including severe weather, wildfires, dust storms/haboobs, heat/cold warnings, and any other warnings the NWS would put out. Here is information specifically for Deaf/HOH accessibility.

[dunmeshistash]

Ryoko Kui Exhibition & "Delicious in Dungeon" Exhibition

Kui's published mangas, descriptions from the exhibition english pamphlet

The dragon's school is on top of the mountain

This is Ryoko Kui's debut work, and her first collected volume of works. Published in 2011, it collects seven of her stories previously published on her website and in doujinshi (self-published works), as well as two new stories. It includes a trilogy of tales which may have taken place behind the scenes of the heroes' adventures in a Role-Playing Game; and which follow the conventions of an RPG. These are "Kikyō" (Return home), which portrays the sorrow of a hero having returned to his hometown after defeating the Demon King; "Mao" (The demon king), which tells the tale of the Demon King from his birth to his downfall; and "Maō jō mondai" (The problem of the demon king castle), which depicts the course of events surrounding the demon castle having lost its master. The story "Gendai shinwa" (Modern myths) depicts the daily lives of coexisting horsepeople (centaurs) and ape-people (homo sapiens), told from the perspectives of a centaur and homo sapien married couple, and a female homo sapien company employee and her junior male centaur. It comically depicts real-life issues such as anti-labor regulation demonstrations, and the disparity between retirement benefits and life expectancy, and as such can be considered satire of the diverse issues faced by modern society. The title story "The dragon's school is on top of the mountain" is set in a university that has the only "Faculty of Dragons" in Japan. It depicts the members of the dragon research society who seek out ways to use dragons, which apparently have no demand in modern society. They explore uses for dragons, such as for food, as pets, and as advertising media. Other highlights include Kui's sad love stories, told from unique perspectives, such as the fairytale-esque "Daikon yama no yome sagashi" (A bride for Daikon mountain) which tells the tale of a man's efforts to marry a female god in order to bring fortune to his poor village, and "Shingaku tenshi" (School-going angel) which depicts the woes of a high school girl with angel wings.

Seven Little Sons of the Dragon

This collection of short stories includes self-published works and short stories published in KADOKAWA publishing's magazine Fellows! throughout 2011 and 2012. The collected volume was published in 2012. The stories are set in different countries and time periods, featuring supernatural beings such as dragons, mermaids, gods, and werewolves. "Ryū no Shōtō” (The dragon turret) is set in two neighboring mountains and sea kingdoms. A dragon builds a nest and lays eggs on the border at the only crossroad connecting two warring nations. The nations declare a ceasefire in fear of the dragon, but as peddlers are also unable to come and go, supplies become scarce. A Sea Kingdom soldier who was taken as a prisoner of war by the Mountain Kingdom is tasked with transporting supplies between the kingdoms, and in time he becomes close with a girl of the mountain Kingdom. But the time for the dragons to leave their nest is approaching, meaning that the war will begin again. “Ōkami wa uso wo tsukanai" (Wolves don't lie) starts out with the premise of being a parenting manga by a manga artist whose son has "werewolf syndrome", then suddenly turns into a story told from the perspective of the son, who is a werewolf. The feudal drama "Kane nashi Byakuroku" (Byakuroku the penniless) tells the story of an elderly gifted artist who always leaves out one eye because otherwise his creatures come to life and pop out of the paper. He is deceived by his apprentice and left penniless, so paints both eyes into the only work remaining, counterfeit picture of a samurai. He enlists the somewhat incompetent fake samurai who has come to life, to help him raise money, and misadventures ensue. Each of these precious seven stories depict the bond between parents and children, family members, and loved ones. While humorous, they are also emotionally stirring.

Terrarium in Drawer

This is a collection of short stories that were published in the literary web magazine MATOGROSSO (EAST PRESS), as well as the cat anthology “Nyansolo” (EAST PRESS), Aoharu (Shueisha) and doujinshi. The story “Ryū no gekirin" (Wrath of the dragon) portrays the process of cooking dragon cuisine from preparation to seasoning with trivia about the ingredients. "Kigō wo taberu" (Eating symbols) depicts unique ways of cooking symbols such as circles being fied whole, while squares are sliced thinly and served with sashimi soy sauce. A motif that is also common in "Delicious in Dungeon" can be found in these stories. Other chapters include “Kawaiku naritai" (I want to be cute) which depicts the makeup techniques of a cat who wants to be beautiful; "Shōtoshōto no shujinkō" (A short, short story's protagonist) which is a meta perspective comedy while having many twists and turns; and "Yume no aru hanashi" (A dreamy story) set in a Santa Claus temping agency during the busy season. You can enjoy 33 diverse stories with creative perspectives and approaches, ranging from science fiction to fantasy and fairy tales. Another charming aspect of this book is the wide variety of styles it showcases, from shojo manga, to horror, gekiga, and even a simple touch of experience-based manga. The homages to famous authors and their works are also quietly amusing. In 2013, this collected volume won the 17th Manga Division Excellence Award of the Japan Media Arts Festival, organized by the Agency for Cultural Affairs, which is awarded to outstanding works of art and entertainment.

Delicious in Dungeon

This is Ryoko Kui's first long-running series. It began serialization in Harta published by KADOKAWA from February 2014 to 2023, spanning a total of 14 book volumes. The story is set in an expansive labyrinth that suddenly appeared on an island one day. The main character Laios is an adventurer whose sister Falin is devoured by a Red Dragon while exploring the labyrinth. Falin casts a final magic spell which lets Laios and the rest of his companions escape the labyrinth, but they return to rescue and resurrect Falin. However, having lost their equipment and supplies, the group decides to become "self-sufficient” by cooking and eating the monsters they defeat along their way, as they adventure deeper into the labyrinth. Grounded in the familiarity of classic fantasy RPG elements, the series adds its own unique settings and meticulous world building. Its monster cooking scenes are illustrated alongside detailed cooking instructions, making it a never-before-seen labyrinth gourmet manga, which has become an overnight sensation. According to Kui, the motif of "cooking monsters" was born from an idea she had of wanting to depict what falls between the lines of adventures, such as meals and camping, which are typically not depicted in roleplaying games*. The manga has been adapted as a television anime series to run for two seasons from January to June 2024. A second series has also been announced. The series was produced by TRIGGER inc., who also produced and animated a commercial for the manga in 2019.

[zvaigzdelasas]

[NewYorkTimes is Private US Media]

Over the past month, we’ve watched an astonishing, high-stakes global drama play out in The Hague. A group of countries from the poorer, less powerful bloc some call the global south, led by South Africa, dragged the government of Israel and, by extension, its rich, powerful allies into the top court of the Western rules-based order and accused Israel of prosecuting a brutal war in Gaza that is “genocidal in character.”

The responses to this presentation from the leading nations of that order were quick and blunt.

“Completely unjustified and wrong,” said a statement from Rishi Sunak, Britain’s prime minister.

“Meritless, counterproductive and completely without any basis in fact whatsoever,” said John Kirby, a spokesman for the United States National Security Council.

“The accusation has no basis in fact,” a German government spokesman said, adding that Germany opposed the “political instrumentalization” of the genocide statute.

But on Friday, that court had its say, issuing a sober and careful provisional ruling that doubled as a rebuke to those dismissals. In granting provisional measures, the court affirmed that some of South Africa’s allegations were plausible and called on Israel to take immediate steps to protect civilians, increase the amount of humanitarian aid and punish officials who engaged in violent and incendiary speech. The court stopped short of calling for a cease-fire, but it granted South Africa’s request for provisional measures to prevent further civilian death. For the most part, the court ruled in favor of the global south.[...]

The court was not asked to rule on whether Israel had in fact committed genocide, a matter that is likely to take years to adjudicate. Whatever the eventual outcome of the case, it sets up an epic battle over the meaning and values of the so-called rules-based order. If these rules don’t apply when powerful countries don’t want them to, are they rules at all?

“As long as those who make rules enforce them against others while believing that they and their allies are above those rules, the international governance system is in trouble,” Thuli Madonsela, one of South Africa’s leading legal minds and an architect of its post-apartheid Constitution, told me. “We say these rules are the rules when Russia invades Ukraine or when the Rohingya are being massacred by Myanmar, but if it’s now Israel butchering Palestinians, depriving them of food, displacing them en masse, then the rules don’t apply and whoever tries to apply the rules is antisemitic? It is really putting those rules in jeopardy.”[...]

The military campaign has “wreaked more destruction than the razing of Syria’s Aleppo between 2012 and 2016, Ukraine’s Mariupol or, proportionally, the Allied bombing of Germany in World War II,” the report quoted researchers as saying. The researchers, hardly some raving left-wing activists, are experts cited in one of the most respected news organizations in the world, The Associated Press.[...]

The International Court of Justice issued a nonbinding opinion in 2004 that the security barriers Israel was erecting in the West Bank violated international law, but that ruling has had no effect. The walls still stand.[...]

Indeed, what is a rules-based system if the rules apply only selectively and if seeking to apply them to certain countries is viewed as self-evidently prejudiced? To put it more simply, is there no venue in the international system to which the stateless people of Palestine and their allies and friends can go to seek redress amid the slaughter in Gaza? And if not, what are they to do?

For the cause of Palestinian statehood, every alternative to violence has been virtually snuffed out, in part because Israel’s allies have helped to discredit them. The most recent example is the boycott, divestment and sanctions movement that has, in many places, been successfully tarred as antisemitic or even banned altogether. Efforts to use the United Nations Security Council have drawn U.S. vetoes for decades. Is seeking redress at the appropriate venue for alleged violations of international law also antisemitic, as Israel’s defense minister said on Friday? Does no law apply to Israel? Are there no limits to what it may do to defend itself?[...]

The Biden administration has made the shoring up of the international rules-based order a centerpiece of its foreign policy but, unsurprisingly, has struggled to live up to that aspiration.[...]

Occasionally straying from your principles because circumstances require it is very different from being seen to have no principles at all, and that is precisely how much of the global south has come to regard the United States.

It seems especially shortsighted in these times that the Biden administration elected to wave away the carefully documented case prepared by South Africa. One of the biggest threats to the rules-based international order is the growing consensus in the poor world that the rich world will apply those rules selectively, at its discretion, when it suits the powerful nations that make up the global north, such as when Russia invaded Ukraine.[...]

As far as the rules-based order is concerned, when it comes to crimes like genocide and ethnic cleansing, it simply does not matter who started it. [...] The best way to shore up the rules-based order is to be seen, in word and deed, as committing to the institutions and moral commitments of that order.

28 Jan 24

[jewish-sideblog]

Clearly, y'all don't care about Jews, and the fact that Hamas is violently antisemitic doesn't seem matter to any of you. So let me go with a new approach, of equal truth and value. Hamas is violently anti-Palestinian.

This past week, Hamas attacked evacuation routes and prevented Gazan citizens from fleeing an active warzone. [1]

They did that because they routinely use Gazan civilians as human shields. Hamas intentionally builds military targets close to schools, hospitals, and mosques, putting soft targets in the way of both incoming and outgoing fire. Hamas encourages Gazan civilians and children to stand on the roofs of buildings they know the IDF is targeting. [2]

Hamas has refused to allow elections in Gaza since 2006. Not just Palestinian National Authority elections, mind you. No open elections for any office have been held in seventeen years. Palestinian rights to free elections and self-determination have been denied by Hamas. [3] (And good luck to anyone who tries to blame that on Israel, because elections were held by the PNA in the West Bank in 2012, 2017, 2021 and 2022. It's Hamas's intention alone to purge democracy.)

Hamas's track record on human rights is appalling. Palestinian prisoners in Gaza face unfair trials and death sentences after being tortured by police. Palestinian women are prevented from accessing the legal systems to escape domestic abuse situations. Political dissidents in Hamas, even ones who merely support the other half of the Palestinian government, have been summarily executed. [4] [5]

Peaceful organizers in Palestine protested Hamas's massive tax hikes in 2019. Hamas security forces responded by assaulting demonstrators, tracking them down, raiding their homes, and detaining them. And, as previously mentioned, prisoners in Gaza are not treated well by Hamas. [6]

Edit Nov.5, 10:30 PM: I forgot to add arguably the most important thing-- Hamas manipulates the humanitarian aid they receive away from helping Gazans and toward killing Jews. 5% of Hamas's budget actually gets used for humanitarian aid, while 55% goes to military use. Construction equipment intended to rebuild Gaza's crumbling infrastructure is used to build a complex series of underground tunnels. Those tunnels in turn are used to smuggle Iranian military equipment into the country. They were also used for human trafficking in the October 7th attacks. [7]

If you actually want Palestinians to be free, you can't just replace Israel with Hamas. But it's not like they're the only option for supporting Palestinian liberation. While Fatah doesn't have an immaculate historical track record, it now operates as a leftist, democratic socialist, secular Palestinian government that fights for a two-state solution. Similarly, Arab-Israeli political parties like the Hadash-Ta'al coalition support leftist, anti-Zionist, and two-state solutions from within the Israeli parliament.

You can and should support Palestinian liberation movements that abuse neither Jewish nor Arab human rights and dignities. Plenty of them exist out there. But if y'all continue to throw your weight behind an antisemitic and anti-democratic terrorist regime, Palestinians and Jews will both take note of exactly where you stand.