#...but he is also so sincere and has issues stemming from being used as a child not to mention his love for piano and composition...

[always-a-joyful-note]

By the way, I love how everyone in Idolish7 is never just one thing. Yes, Iori has a cool aura and is very master-of-all-trades analytical...but he also is a guy who loves small and cute things and just kinda wants to support people he loves and also is asocial as one can be. Yes, Yamato is like the lazy but friendly older brother figure with dirty jokes...but he also has incredible trauma from secrets kept to him and wants to love his friends so much in the right way and also has a pet rover named Musashi. Yes, Yuki is the cool and distant playboy male lead trope....but he's also someone who tried so hard to stop that behaviour and is actually doing better in trying to communicate and value other people! Yeah, Tenn is a two-faced angel-demon who takes his work way too seriously and K.O.s people with one insult....but he's also way too self-sacrificing of his own good and values people so much to his own detriment. And Riku being the cute and oblivious airhead who is kinda spoiled....but also trying so hard to be more than the sheltered kid he was raised as, having so much talent, loving books a lot. It's just them being character archetypes from animanga, and the writers having fun with that, but also making them more without disparaging those stereotypes

[emmcfrxst]

I wanna hear your opinion on how Arthur and John differ in bed because I love em both

arthur is a tender, gentle lover; with him, everything is about you and your pleasure— sex is an expression of his love and devotion for you, through kisses and touches and whispered words of affection. he worships you the whole time, mapping out your entire body with his fingers, then his lips— he’s thorough in his adoration of you and will make you come multiple times before even beginning to pull himself out of his pants. kissing you during sex is very important for arthur; it’s an act that’s so intimate, so sacred in his eyes, especially given his track record with women and the abandonment issues that stem from them— being able to kiss you freely reminds him that your feelings for him are sincere and that you’re not going anywhere. despite his inherent tenderness during sex, arthur is far from boring or repetitive; he’s more than willing to try anything you might be interested in trying (as long as there is zero chance of him hurting you. anything that could hurt you is a hard no for him) as he’s very versatile. he’s also quite vocal; he’ll moan, groan and gasp your name and will murmur praises against your skin. all in all, making love with arthur is a refreshing and intimate experience that he used to connect with you on a physical and spiritual level.

john is a lot less gentle. he’s fast and efficient most of the time, not hesitating to manhandle you into whatever position he likes (although your consent always matters and he will stop immediately if you ask him to because while he’s a little rough, he’s not a fucking monster). one thing that characterizes john in bed is that he likes his sex hot and messy. there will be spit, there will be tears of pleasure, there will be lots of cum— john marston loves to see you dripping with him, it’s really what gets him going. he’ll spit in your mouth and make you swallow it; he will drag his spit-slick fingers down your body and around your nipples; he will eat you out until his face is shining with your slick and then leave wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck— he likes it wet and sloppy and downright nasty. he’s also quite vocal in bed, although it’s mostly curses, and won’t hesitate to tell you “fuck, that’s so fuckin’ hot” if you do something that makes his dick twitch. his thrusts are, more often than not, hard and fast and a little on the primal side; his focus is to bring you both to your climax as fast as possible— unless there has been a near-death experience, where he takes his sweet time with you and it feels a lot more raw, intimate and emotional because it’s mostly in these moments that he allows himself to verbalize how much you mean to him and how he can’t live without you, which he doesn’t usually do because being vulnerable is something that terrifies him. all in all, sex with john is passionate, primal and efficient; it’s messy and horny and a little animalistic.

[anomura]

so. i've been thinking probably way much about bucky's attachment/abandonment issues bc they're soooo loud to me like he clings to people so hard!!! he wants to be chosen!!! him asking gale "did you miss me?" after spending objectively not that much time apart half joking but half sincere bc he's used to people getting tired of him and leaving so he has to make sure.

And it makes gale saying no to london even more of a Big Deal. and paulina leaving him the morning after even when he asked her to stay!!! and lil kissing him but getting with dye!! and once again feeling rejected in the stalag when gale won't leave with him, won't even entertain the thought of it !! andddd not having anyone writing him letters, possibly not even his family for reasons we don't get to know but probably are a big part of why he has attachment issues

i've already said this but i'll say it again even though he's confident/cocky at times he doesn't... like himself . or has a lot of regard for his own life which we literally see in the show. he was Capital S Suicidal – bc of the stalag obviously but come on he drinks like crazy and gambles and smokes even before things get Really Bad. and the plane wing sceneeeee you don't goad your friend !! not even a random person but a Friend into hitting you if you're a well adjusted individual. And he was ready to give up fr when gale went down. he did not want to bail out with brady!!! AND him risking his eye to get gale a bike (which while yeah crazy yaoi moment . to me also ties into him needing to be wanted/needed so people won't leave him) so yeah clearly not huge on self preservation which at least in my perception is something that stems from self hatred

all of these rejections (even if justified at times) are probably a series of blows to his perception of himself/sense of self and just reaffirm to him in his head that he's not good enough and he is right to expect to be left by the people he loves. and he tries to stop that by clinging as hard as he can and not being expendable/replaceable. but if they do leave he can rationalize it because if everyone leaves him clearly it's his fault, he's the one lacking – which feeds his recklessness and self destructive coping mechanisms even more

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

Is Ty in Denial Over Livvy?

Artist: Charlie Bowater

I think it's worth noting that what Ty is currently experiencing re: Livvy is not grief but denial. - Cassie Answering Asks on Tumblr

I think this really points to what one of the biggest points of tension in the TWP series is going to be: the denial that Ty might be in over Livvy. This is how Cassie answered a question about why Kit left without saying goodbye to the Blackthorns in QOAAD. But is Ty really in denial? That's what I'm trying to ascertain by analyzing the passages below.

PS. If you do find a ghost, treat it kindly. I don’t think all ghosts mind being ghosts, as long as people are nice to them.

So this is how Ty ended a letter to Emma and Julian in SOBH. I feel like this shows us that to Ty, the real reason that someone may not like being a ghost is that they're ignored and not treated well. So the answer to the issue with Livvy is just to treat her the best he possibly can, to always be there for her. (Also, just to say this, Ty is one of the most sincerely kind characters in the whole TSC universe if you really examine scenes that include him. So, I also just think this quote stems from who Ty is at heart). But is simply treating Livvy well enough? Does that meet her needs? We see Livvy's perspective in GOTSM here:

There was so little to feel. For months now she had been less than a shadow at Ty's heels. Oh, why couldn't Livvy do the same? Why was she the only one who could not return and take up her life again?

While I do think that being kind to ghosts like Livvy or Rupert is important, the primary injustice here is that Livvy gets to be almost human, just without the parts that make life most worth living. Here we see that she continuously feels this sense of unfairness, why does everybody else get to live their lives except for her? Why is there so little for her to feel?

Here's another of Ty's perspectives on Livvy's resurrection:

She said a lot of reassuring things. But it still gave me a cold feeling, which I think is my body telling my brain that I’m afraid. If Julian and Emma found out about Livvy, they wouldn’t just be angry. They’d feel like they had to do something, like lay her to rest. People don’t think ghosts can be happy, but Livvy is happy. She helps me with work and she tells me advice for Anush (he has a crush on Rayan’s sister Nasha) and when we’re alone we play games or I read to her. She can’t do everything but why would being all the way dead be better? Everyone calls it “rest” but no one really knows, do they?

I feel like with Ty we consistently see this idea that Livvy being a ghost is better than nothing. In QOAAD when Kit tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be resurrected Ty tells him that he doesn't think Livvy would want to be dead either. To me, this isn't rooted in Ty selfishly wanting Livvy back. On the contrary, I feel like Ty sees it this way because Livvy has always been there for him, making life better. So, for Ty, what if this is his way of making Livvy's life better? After all, wouldn't being a ghost that can still see be on Earth be better than the nothingness of death? Here's another of Livvy's perspectives to compare it to:

The sun was rising, and she tried to feel its warmth - something other than its brightness. To warm herself. What she would have given to feel that wet velvet crust of the top layer of sand under her feet, to feel the cold grittiness of the sand underneath change in temperature as the warmth of her human feet soaked away. To scream herself hoarse, knowing that no one would hear over the roar of the surf. She squatted and tried with ever particle of herself to pick up a piece of beach glass. But it was a useless endeavor. She had no more effect on the world than a fragment of dream.

I believe this scene really showcases one of the two worst parts about Livvy becoming a ghost: her ability to take action. When looking at Livvy's character in the first two books it is evident that she wants to take care of people and be able to have an effect on people. In Lord of Shadows we see her say this:

"I realized something," she said. "I want to be like you, Jules. Not this second, not right now, but someday. I want to take care of people, other Shadowhunters, people who need me. I want to run an Institute."

And I do realize that Livvy can still help people and have a powerful effect on the world as a ghost, I mean she's already found useful information about the Cohort and TWP isn't even here yet. She's just not able to help people in the way I think she feels called to do. Livvy very much seems like a hands-on, people's person. As a ghost she can't be that. She can't run an Institute, she can't even pick things up. You can very much see that she feels useless in GOTSM. But I think we see the thing she struggles with the most in these excerpts:

You can see ghosts but you cannot see me. Not when I come to sit by you while you sleep. Not when I am in the movements of the shadows across the lawn, or the twitch of a curtain. You cannot hear me, even though I am speaking to you because I have things I need to tell you.

It was wonderful to see how settled in Helen and Aline were, but it was also all extremely unfair, Livvy felt. Everyone else got to come home. Mark. Helen. Even Ty would come home someday. But she would never truly be home again.

Family is the most important thing to all of the Blackthorns, it seems like they base almost all of their actions around each other. I think what tortures Livvy is being able to see this family she loves so much but never being able to interact with them again except for Ty. Never getting to be a big and little sister. It's a vital part of Livvy's life that she has lost for the time being.

I want to say this though, I think it may be easy to look at all of these scenes and immediately say that Ty is in denial about Livvy's true situation and feelings, but I don't think that is true. Look at this scene:

Ty said, "I'm so sorry, Livvy." "For what?" she said. "For doing this to you," he said.

I think Ty realizes what all Livvy is missing, for the most part. I think it also really hurts him. He just feels that what she does have is better than what she could have in death.

All of these scenes also beg this question, would Livvy feel like this if she figures out the ins and outs of being a ghost or if she could show herself to her entire family? Like, when she actually sees the power she has for good in her current state as a ghost? I ask because of this scene:

"Oh, Ty," she said. "I would have done it for you. It isn't a thing that should be done, but I would have done it anyway. And so we would be in just the same mess we're in now. Besides, I think I'm getting the hand of this ghost thing."

Conclusion: I feel like Ty may have been in denial in the beginning but I don't think he is anymore. I also think that Livvy will have an easier time as a ghost as things progress in TWP. I also feel like Livvy has the potential to be a huge force for good, a protector, in TWP and I sincerely hope that happens. However, I do think this will be a major point of tension between Ty and other characters in TWP, especially Kit. I feel that many of them, especially the older Blackthorn siblings, will want to help Livvy be released into the afterlife instead of staying as a ghost. I think the finale of the entire series will reveal the fate of Livvy: whether she can stay as a ghost, has to be released into the afterlife, or gets to come back fully human.

Edit: By not being in denial, I mean that I think Ty understands that he did wrong and regrets resurrecting Livvy. The issue is that he doesn’t regret it enough to talk to Magnus or one of his siblings to try to either release Livvy or bring her back fully. To figure out the best way forward with Livvy, is what I guess I’m trying to say. And also, while I think Livvy could be a force for good and could acclimate to being a ghost, I also think there’s just as good a chance that she could go into one of her more volatile states. This would lead to some really awful stuff happening and could even be the crux of Ty and Kit’s plot in TWP.

Also, sorry for the ridiculously long post, it felt kind of like a really poorly written essay. I hope it was coherent and that you enjoyed it though :) Here's some beautiful Kit and Ty art for the road.

Artist: @camisala01-art

[panvani]

i’ll be real i did expect hello charlotte to be pulled on me but regardless. i do understand noé feels no *desire* towards children but the majority of the characters who commit acts of sexual violence don’t feel attraction for their victims, but they are still portrayed as vile for it, and noé feels really exempt from this? for example, i sincerely doubt ruthven is attracted to jeanne, but he is still portrayed as despicable for sexually abusing her. similarly, i doubt luna felt such inclinations towards their children, or even had any desire to hurt them, but i have no choice but to call them a pedophile seeing as they definitely sexually abused both vanitas and mikhail. i get the feeling that the author is concerned that fans may dislike noé, and is just running herself frantic telling us he is a nice person. which i don’t really think is a cause of concern since i’m pretty sure people love vanitas despite what he’s done. i guess i’m just not a fan of how the story is handling noé.

I think this is all a very reasonable response to the story and the way it's presented and I in large part agree. The last few chapters especially have, I think, been pretty odd and tonally discordant with the series as a whole. I have a few ideas as to why this might be (including that the author... is evidently having some personal issues right now) but for now I'm treating what has been presented recently in good faith and assuming the story will generally continue with its established themes.

All that being said, I think a very important thing you're missing in this analysis is that Noé is the narrator. Every moral judgement made explicitly by the narrative is, in fact, Noé's judgement, and the thing that makes Noé interesting to me is how effectively this fact is erased, despite his being the narrator having been explicit since the first chapter and repeatedly brought to attention since.

You're in fact completely correct that the story exhibits a lot of inconsistencies in its moral judgement specifically when it comes to Noé; it's also made clear that Noé is an unreliable narrator and extremely inconsistent in his moral judgement. In a particularly obvious example, the chapter immediately prior to VnC's year long hiatus has Noé dismiss his own sexual assault on the basis that Chloé and Jean Jacques are "nice people," which multiple characters immediately acknowledge as disturbing.

The arc in which Noé assaults Misha is by far most overt about emphasizing that Noé is both morally inconsistent and an unreliable narrator. The arc is framed by Domi's account of Louis's death and how it differs drastically from that which Noé previously gave, and its conflict, in contrast to previous arcs, mostly relies on Noé's failures to appreciate his relationships and the effects he has on others. He loves Domi, but is ignorant to the abuse she faces and her feelings toward suicide. He's obsessed with Vanitas, but as repeatedly pointed out, he knows almost nothing of substance about him, and is particularly blind to Vanitas' feelings towards him. In this arc, Noé (who is being presented as 'neutral' narration) contradicts his own account of his first meeting with Vanitas, then acknowledges that he ignored his own capacity to cause Vanitas harm. In this arc, a third party explicitly states that Noé's capacity for violence stems mostly from Noé's self-assurance when it comes to his own morality; Noé understands himself as a good person with strong principles, and so Noé assumes any action he perpetuates is morally righteous or at least neutral, regardless of its effective violence. I do not think it was an accident that all of this happened in the same arc!

I think it's also important to point out that all of this is a very long time coming in terms of Noé's character development. Noé's driving conflict as a character is mostly that he is very principled and very strong willed, but that these principles were developed were developed in effective isolation, and quickly break down when applied in real moral quandaries. Noé is a very good person in the abstract (he clearly has a real understanding of sexual consent, unlike Vanitas and Jeanne!) but has no way of resolving moral problems in material conditions. Thus when he is sexually assaulted during the Gévaudan arc he makes no effort to actually morally analyze this, regarding Chloé and Jean Jacques not as generally well intentioned people who are nonetheless clearly capable of great harm, but instead ontologically Good People, and thus not real perpetrators of sexual assault, even when Noé was perfectly willing to acknowledge their actions as such before getting to know them. Similarly, when Noé struggles in his conflict with Astolfo on the basis that the latter is the child, Vanitas' assurances during the conflict are evidently taken not with respect to the actual conditions, but as an assurance that Astolfo has been removed from an ontological Good category but is now Deserving Of Violence. Noé is incredibly distressed at the idea of hurting Astolfo until he is given permission to ignore the conditions of their fight, at which point he attacks Astolfo with near-lethal force and does no further moral reflection on the matter! And while we are led to believe that in Astolfo's case this force was necessary, it's still, in my opinion important to acknowledge that Noé's conflict with Misha was immediately preceded with Noé being told that he is "allowed" to commit violence against children.

All that being said, I do understand if you think that Noé's behavior surrounding Astolfo does not necessarily precipitate his behavior surrounding Misha, and I do agree that it is a severe escalation. I think another important factor to bring up when I say that Noé's apparent moral degeneration has been very heavily foreshadowed is that Noé is a very clear foil to Ruthven who, as you point out, is clearly morally condemned by the story as a rapist. There honestly isn't much to analyze on this one, it's just kind of true! Specifically, Noé is shown to have the same or very similar ideals to that of Ruthven in his youth, and it's strongly implied that Ruthven's assault of Noé immediately prior to the Gévaudan arc was in some way instigated by Ruthven recognizing Noé as very similar to himself. It's not hard to see what is being foreshadowed in comparing Noé, a scholarly, intellectual idealist whose conflict centers on his attempts to apply his ideals to the real world to Ruthven, a former idealist intellectual-activist who grows into a violent and cynical politician after years of disgrace. Take this also with Ruthven's assault of Chloé and Jeanne, then with Vanitas as foil to Astolfo and Misha, and Noé's patterns of violence begin to strongly cohere.

Sort of the nail in the coffin, however, is evident from the conceit of the story itself: Vanitas' motivation throughout the entirety of the story has been to die and disappear. He wants to hide his past trauma and especially that related to Luna (which, we agree, is that he had been sexually abused by his adoptive parent) and is apparently so scared of having this being revealed that he attempts to kill Noé and risks his own life in his efforts to conceal it.

And we fucking know that Luna raped Vanitas, because Noé killed him then made the fucking Case Study of Vanitas!!!!!!!!!!

[dreams-shape-the-world]

Pride and Prejudice - Good Omens

The Confessions

I need to write about two of the most important scenes in both Pride and Prejudice (2005) and Good Omens S2 E6, their prospective confession scenes. I will try my best to compare these scenes and how much, to me, they are so related.

Firstly, I am using the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice since it stands to me as the most relatable. Both McFadden and Knightley breathe life into the characters of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy in the confession scene. Plus, I think most people have seen this version, rather than the BBC version with Firth and Ehle (which I adore).

 Here Mr. Darcy professes his love for Lizzy, she has bewitched him, body and soul. Even though her station in life is beneath him, he cannot help himself. He proposes to her, even though they are not equal. Yes, there is more to the conversation, but I want to mainly focus on the part of not equals, or to be plain, not good enough as she is. This is a troubling statement for Lizzy to hear, she is insulted by this, how can she not be good enough as she is. She feels slighted by him, she is smart, witty and able to stand up to what is right in her mind. This confession throws Lizzy off balance, she feels something for him, sees him differently, but she unable to act upon it because she insulted. His pride prevented him from truly accepting her for who she is, after she tells him off, he then decides to fix things so that they can be together. To me, the key issue is fixing things for the better. It’s a very simple way of looking at it, because he did make snap judgements that prevented his and Lizzy from getting together in this scene.

 Let us now examine Aziraphale and Crowley, as in what we now call, the infamous scene. The roles are reversed here some, I see Crowley as mixture of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy in that he is opening himself up and shocked to hear himself doing this. He is so vulnerable, sincere and having difficulty with his confession because this is the most human he has ever been. But Aziraphale shatters Crowleys confession before he can even start, tells him of Metraton’s offer and that he is going to take it. Even as Crowley tells him he is foolish, that both sides are toxic, deep down I know that he only hears one thing, he is not good enough, he has been thrown away. Aziraphale wants to go back, making Crowley his second in command, not his equal. Crowley now is able to confess that he wants them to be together, a group of two, on equal footing in their relationship. But because Aziraphale is unable to come to grips that he is indeed in love with a demon he makes that snap decision in taken the offer from Metraton. Aziraphale needs to make things better and part of that is making Crowley the angel he used to be. The saddest part of the scene is that Aziraphale assumes that Crowley will say yes, but we all knew he wouldn’t. All because Crowley heard, “am not good enough and like God, you too won’t take me as I am.”

Now, there are other nuances/layers that I will get into in the future, but I just want to show some similarities that these scenes have with one another. Mostly because in Good Omens, Jane Austen, was a running theme throughout this latest season.  You can also argue that the running theme in this scene is not being good enough for their partners, whether it is status or being a demon. Lizzy does the upper hand because she has self-worth, is able to stand up to Darcy and present her case to him. But Crowley, he has a bigger hill to climb, his feeling of not being good enough stems back to the days of his fallen (sauntered) from heaven. This is of course now complicated by Aziraphale feeling the same way, but he has been "given" a chance to go back. He wants Crowley to come with him, but as an angel, as he once was. Crowley only hears, "you are not good enough as you are", again, rejection on who you are. We have had this happen before to us at one time or another in life, this is why these scenes have always resonated with me. They are good enough, it's just the person that they loved hasn't seen them for who they are.

[noahtally-famous]

something i noticed about dave in canon is that like. part of the reason he gets attached to sky seems to be not only Because she helped him through what seemed like a panic attack but also. it doesn't seem like anyone's done that for him before?

"usually i freak out way more" this has happened before? and worse?

"sky has a surprisingly calming effect on me" <- words of a guy who does not know what it's like to have someone help you calm down

IDK. maybe im wrong but something about this was a little crazy

oh no, anon, you're def right. and it's not just a little crazy, it's VERY crazy lmaoo like no shade on the fandom bc I get it, dave isn't a well-liked character and for valid reasons, but ppl tend to forget or gloss over the questionable things he says that connects to just how shitty his childhood/current life was

but tbh td has a history of popping questionable backstory tidbits; with trent's whole thing, heather getting electrocuted by her own parents, cody's everything, mike, alejandro, duncan, courtney, the list goes on tbh, nearly everyone's got their hand in the shitty backstory jar to some degree ngl, so it kinda makes sense in a way that the fandom glosses over dave bc, like, tdpi isn't as well-watched AND it's become sort of the norm for a contestant to have a shitty backstory or part of one

but like, you're so right, anon, it's WILD, and lemme just discuss that for a sec (bc any opportunity to inspect dave under a microscope, I will never pass up)

(tw for mentions of panic attacks)

dave insinuating that he's had worse panic attacks before and that sky managed to stop him before things got too bad (which is smth not many ppl are able to do to him) def emphasizes my idea of dave's backstory that...obv it was not the best. that with the idealization of "being normal" it could be that his family just...either never got the time to or doesn't feel inclined to help him through his attacks or that he doesn't feel comfortable enough around them to allow them to do so. in schools, I feel like he's the same way--he doesn't strike me as the type to have a lot of friends, and ppl would prob tend to see him as the "weird germaphobe" which doesn't help matters at all.

and even if ppl have tried to help him before, based on his words abt sky and the implications that his attacks get worse, the 'help' from others in his past seems to have not been done sincerely, more so it was just to stop him and get it over with. there was a lack of distinct care for his well-being or just him as a person, rather just a clinical outlook to stop the panic attack. that's what I'm getting from that bit

like it brings the fact that he's had to deal with these panic attacks on his own and with only his own "calming effect" to rely on bc no one else has done it for him (and we all know how great his "calming effect" was given how badly his character deteriorated mentally). so it could be that he was so used to relying on himself, handling his attacks by himself, regardless of how bad or good that self-effect might be on his mental health, that the first person to give him that same--if not better--kind of calming effect, he latched on instantly thinking that since no one else was truly willing to be there for him in the past and present, sky helping him must be bc she cares. it's such a warped mentality that I feel, looking at it psychologically, could have stemmed from prior attachment issues and lack of proper family functioning and friendships

it's disheartening bc in the confessional right after, he looks so stunned and in awe that sky had actually calmed him down. clearly it's not smth he's used to from other ppl, so when it did happen, he reacted overly extreme and that's where things started to spiral

(going off on a tangent here, I also feel like that correlates to my own hc of dave having a distant family. he doesn't fully understand what it's like to be attached to someone, it's not smth he's used to. it's always been himself. so when sky came along, he couldn't function right, and obv I'm not blaming anyone (even though that should be a given considering I love both sky and dave as characters, but y'know, just putting that out there), it's just interesting to pick apart a character's seemingly trivial actions and words and think abt the potential underlying implications behind them)

it's why I love characters like these over the too good ones bc everything is just straightforward with those kinds, it's all laid out on the table, unless you personally make hcs to change it. don't get me wrong, I love characters from both categories, it's just that for characters like dave, it's smth totally different, there's so much going on under the surface, and personally, that's what I find interesting (maybe it's the psych minor in me rearing its head whoops 😭)

anyway, you gave me an excuse to dissect dave mentally, and I legit love dissecting characters actions/words and trying to figure their mentalities out, so tysm for this ask, anon!! (sorry for the long answer, I can get rlly into it when need be 😅)

[numberonetrashwitch]

People are mad over mods

So yeah, there are 3 Mods for Astarion that are commonly used, and 2 illicit some vile hatred amongst the player-base for some reason, bashing not the mod itself but the people who prefer to play with these mods. Personally, i wanna voice my opinion because i have played with some of these mods (and deinstalled them for various reasons)

Younger Astarion; The reason i have used this mod is because it, to me, added immersion, simply because Astarion is an elf who died young and has stopped aging since. It doesn't really make sense to me - role playing wise - to have visible signs of aging a human of his age might have.

It makes sense for Gale who appears to be in a similiar age range to Astarion, with the main difference between those two being that Gale is a human; humans age differently. Even between humans aging it manifests very differently based on genetics, sun-exposure, diet etc.

I myself am just 9 years shy of Astarion before he died (going by the dates on the grave) and have no smile lines, forehead wrinkles or crows feet - so i don't really think it is that much of a contentious issue?

Black Hair Astarion (white hair version is what i used) - basically long haired Astarion people call this cliché, but.. you only see vitriol against those who change Astarions hair? By all means, if you prefer his hair in the Style Larian provided go for it, but why bash those who have other preferences?

No-Abs Astarion;

Actually a mod that is hailed for its "realism"? Astarion is 1,75m tall, or 5'9 (cannon) & about 55-65kg (~ 122-144lbs - sources differ) heavy, ... which are quincidentially the measurements of my boyfriend (1,75m / 55kg) So he is on the lower end of what is theoretically possible for Astarion and doesn't work out, and he has abs. Now, they aren't deep indentations, more of a faint outline of the rectus abdomini (or front-lower belly muscles)

If if you're underweight (which i was, briefly) abs will show. Simply because there isn't enough (often essential!!!) fat to cover the area. HOW they manifest though is entirely different to everyone.

That being said, the game model of Astarion appears way to broad and muscular. Truly realistic would be if there was a mod that would shrink his bicep, tricep, latissimus dorsii and external obliques (less arm muscles and a more skinny waistline)

Sincerely, i don't care if you use this mod.My stance is; Its a fantasy game, and you can customize your experience based on your preferences. But so do I - and others.

Especially because the people who hold vitriol against young Astarion mod - claiming it's way more "realistic" that he has visible signs of aging are the one who often use this body mod but don't see the issue. My guess is that this stems from a lot of first-time fantasy players who love the more mature aesthetic (compared to other games, such as Dragon Age) and bought this just to date Astarion yet don't really care for the lore-background, going by human standards and well ... that is fine!

For me, i have been obsessed with dating "the elf" since lord of the rings came out. I have been diving deep into this hyperfixation through books, shows and mostly video games of the same genre. I am also a metalhead who has a thing for "shorter" guys (<180cm) with long hair, so .. fuck me i guess?

I just don't get where the hatred is coming from.

[imakemywings]

So, I just saw warrioreowynofrohan's and another post's analysis of how Fingon was treated during his reign and honestly, I can't help but be dubious of Maedhros' friendship with Fingon during Fingon's reign as a king. Shipping aside, sometimes I can't help but think that Maedhros, being a cunning strategist as you said, had used Fingon's personal affections of friendship as an advantage. Even in fics, I could tell who was more in power between the two, and I just feel sad thinking about Fingon's situation. What do you think?

First, Eowyn has amazing metas! I'm not surprised they got you thinking.

I think, as with most things in Silm, there's a lot of room for interpretation. I am not personally super invested in Fingon and Maedhros' relationship, but I would tend to agree that there IS a political element to their interactions and that's impossible to deny.

Fingon's first cited motivation in going to rescue Maedhros from Angband was his intent to reconcile the Feanorians and the rest of the Noldor. You can debate how much his desire to rescue Maedhros for Maedhros' own sake was involved, but there were absolutely considerable political goals.

Personally I enjoy their having a more fraught relationship where Maedhros does try to use his influence over Fingon to push for his own goals and plans. I like the drama of one or both of them questioning the legitimacy of this friendship anymore and with Maedhros already showing (at least to himself) how far he's willing to go to get what he wants.

I've talked before about friction in Fingon and Maedhros' relationship even pre-Darkening. Silm suggests they had issues before Feanor's rebellion, stemming largely from the lies Melkor sowed among the Noldor. If you were looking to create a more contentious relationship, it would be easy to create a "resolution" of these issues that actually left many of their feelings unresolved and perhaps left them still wary of trusting each other, even after Maedhros' rescue. You could also take that "lies came between them" pretty far in terms how ugly things got between them in Aman before the Darkening. The nature of their relationship in Aman--and how far it degraded before the Darkening--I think will have a lot of impact on how their relationship comes together again in Middle-earth.

To me, this all makes for delicious drama. I think Maedhros sincerely does consider Fingon a friend--but he still wouldn't hesitate to manipulate him or use him to his own ends. And I think on some level Maedhros would know that was a shitty thing to do--but he's gonna do it anyway. And Fingon--how much does he notice or acknowledge that Maedhros is doing this? Does it go entirely over his head? Is he aware and choosing not to address it? How does he feel about it--and does it at all play into the trouble they had back in Aman? Fingon obviously still trusts Maedhros on some level, or he wouldn't have bought into the Union of Maedhros. But how much of that is personal, and how much of that is merely trusting in Maedhros' martial skill? How would it feel, knowing his father was a king so beloved the Noldor couldn't even sing of his death because it was too painful, and here he is being used by his cousin from behind the throne?

There's a pretty broad range of believable takes on this I think. I enjoy Maedhros the manipulator and I like the drama in his and Fingon's friendship, so I think it's a fun avenue to explore with them.

[sabiraa-a]

The Six Elements of Salah

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: O Bilal, call iqamah for prayer: give us comfort by it.

(Sunan Abi Dawud, 4985)

This statement informs us that the comfort of the Prophet ﷺ is found in the salah wherein he finds peace, contentment and pleasure too, as he also stated. Compare this state with those who say, let us pray so we relieve ourselves from the burden of saläh!

Only a true devotee finds peace, contentment and pleasure in the salah while the heedless and neglectful is deprived of all that!

In fact, such a person finds the saläh a difficulty and a burden that makes him disturbed and troubled when praying, and makes him feel as if he is standing on embers. This is why such a person prefers a salah that is very short and quick as he finds no peace, pleasure and contentment in it. Indeed, if a person finds peace, contentment and pleasure in a matter, one will find it too difficult to depart from it. While on the other hand, a person whose heart is empty from the love of Allah ﷻ and the Hereafter - is inflicted with the love of this worldly life and its pleasures, finds saläh to be the most difficult thing to do and despises it the most when it is long, although he is healthy, has sufficient free time and is not busy with anything else.

It is ought to be known too that the salah that brings forth peace, pleasure and contentment to the heart and mind is the type of salah that consists of six elements:

1. Sincerity (al-ikhlaas): The reason for which a servant prays and feels encouraged to pray should be his intention to draw closer to Allah ﷻ; his love for Him; his wish to seek his pleasure and closeness; his compliance with His Command to pray; hence there is nothing from this worldly life that ever encourages him to pray. Rather, he prays only to seek the pleasure of his Lord the Most High whom he loves and fears, and whose reward and forgiveness he seeks.

2. Truthfulness (al-sidq): A person should empty his heart (galb) from everything of this worldly life so it becomes dedicated to Allah ﷻ alone while praying, so one can endavour to be attentive, performs it in the best manner outwardly and inwardly. This is because the salah has two aspects, an apparent aspect (zahir) and a hidden aspect (bätin); the former (zahir) is the visible actionsand audiable statements while the latter (bätin) is the vigilance of Allah ﷻ and attentiveness (al-khushü) while keeping the heart fully dedicated to Him and not distracted by anything or anyone else.

3. Compliance (al-mutaba) and Adherence (al-iqtida): The third element is to ensure praying according to the way of Prophet ﷺ and that his salah conforms to the description of the salah of Allah's Messenger ﷺ, and to refrain from the actions, statements or description of salah that people innovated and have not been reported from Allah's Messenger ﷺ or his Companions.

4. Station of Excellence (al-igsan) and Vigilance of Allah ﷻ(al muraqaba): Station of excellence (al-ihsan)' renders to mean the state of being vigilant of Allah (al muräqaba)- that is to say, to worship Him as if you could see Him watching you. This state stems from having a perfect belief in Allah ﷻ, His Names and Attributes; to the point that you become as if you can envision Him above His Throne above the heavens; arranging the affairs of the entire creation and issuing His commands that governs the cosmos, all the while, the deeds and souls of His slaves are presented before Him.

5. Acknowledgment of the Favour (al-minna) of Allah ﷻ: It is to acknowledge the infinite blessing for being at the service of Allah ﷻ. That your heart and body are deployed to serve Him [alone] - and are only for Allah ﷻ, whose Grace and Favour were conferred upon you, to facilitate for you being in such a state of servitude. Had it not been for Allah's Grace and Favour upon you, nothing of that would have occurred, which is something that the companions of the Prophet ﷺ acknowledged when they used to repeat a line of poetry, that reads as follows:

‘By Allah, was it not for Alläh, neither would we have been guided,

nor able to give charity nor perform the prayer’

From the other benefits of acknowledging Allah's favour upon us, is that it makes a person praise the One really entitled and deserving of praise; not praise one self but rather acknowledges the fact that all the praise is due to Allah ﷻ alone.

6. Blaming One's Self for Inadequate Efforts: It is to maintain the feeling that your endeavours and efforts to worship Allah ﷻ are always inadequate; and that the right of Allah ﷻ upon you is greater; therefore your obedience, worship and servitude (al-ubidiya) must be greater than what you perform, as the level of your servitude to Allah must befit His Glory and Power.

If a servant acknowledges that his state of servitude does not fulfil, or is even close to fulfilling the due rights of Allah ﷻ upon him. A person will then realise their shortcomings and will thus hasten to seek His forgiveness, apologise for ones deficiencies, inadequate worship and obedience. It is for this reason we are in more need of His forgiveness due to our inadequate worship and obedience than we are in need of asking His reward for the worship and obedience we have performed.

Source: Heartfelt Advice to a Friend by Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim al Jawziyyah

Translated by Dar As-Sunnah Publishers

[blackwoolncrown]

I would like to apologize for saying "conspiracy brained", that's probably more insulting than I intended.

Sorry.

I forget that OPs can see tags, and I've just been concerned with a trend of attitudes that feel like they're treating morality like it works by the principle of contagion.

Yeah, that's understandable and I respect you sending this message. It's just really important, especially when combatting ppl on tumblr, that ppl exist who disagree with you but not for all the same half-thought out reasons you may be used to debating against.

Also forgetting that OPs can see tags? *laughs* come now...

Anyway while I totally understand the pushback against moral sterility my point irt transhumanism is actually that it may be useful to drop certain titles and invent new labels and philosophies once one is shown to not only have a Shitty Person problem, but for that problem to actually stem from its foundations, suggesting that there may be a flaw to the entire weave and not just an errant thread in the warp, ya feel me?

Like I'm not saying 'transhumanism is bad bc a dude in 1887 spearheaded it and popularized it as we know it today and he was a eugenicist' I'm saying that transhumanism has a problem with lending itself to eugenics and that's not a bug, it's part of the program.

But this is moot bc what I'm generally suggesting is maybe something like ppl IDing as morphological liberalists to distance from eugenicist accelerationists and make it easier to differentiate and reckon with who's who... problem being that I sincerely feel like the vast majority of young transhumanists literally do not care to do so and do not see the more problematic supporters of transhumanism as real, or a problem, something that I feel is a bit of an issue of marginalization, privilege etc.

[darkenforcer]

FEAR. -What are your muses biggest fears?

GOD. -Does your muse believe in a god? If so, describe it.

DUCKWORTH. -Has your muse ever thought about committing or committed a crime?

PRIDE. -What is your muses biggest flaw?

HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?

"DAMN" QUESTIONS || not accepting !

FEAR. -What are your muses biggest fears?

answered !

GOD. -Does your muse believe in a god? If so, describe it.

answered !

DUCKWORTH. -Has your muse ever thought about committing or committed a crime?

you don't want me pulling out the entire rap sheet, my friend. yuri used to get arrested on the regular, so... yeah, he's committed a crime or two. persnaps a couple dozen.

he's done some big-time stuff (*cough cough* like murder *cough cough*) and isn't against doing them again if he has to, but he gravitates more toward reasonable, petty crimes like tax evasion or harassing law enforcement. nothing to worry about <3

PRIDE. -What is your muses biggest flaw?

his stubborn independence, i'd say. self-reliance can be a great thing, don't get me wrong! but it's also the root of most of his flaws. he's decisive, capable... and a dumbass lone wolf type. he inevitably keeps others at a distance with his attitude (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not), with the only exceptions being flynn (kinda), estelle, and his guild members. even then, he occasionally goes off on his own and keeps his goings-on a secret.

it's not that he feels like he has to prove himself, or that he distrusts those around him; it mostly stems from his aversion to burdening others with his own issues. dude just needs a stern reminder that it's necessary sometimes.

HUMBLE. -How does your muse handle praise?

depends. if he's taking on the 100-man melee challenge in nordopolica's coliseum, yeah, the audience's cheers are gonna pump him up when he's lost in the sauce! but hit him with some one-on-one sincerity and he's going to wave that off immediately-- he doesn't need his deeds or skills being recognized.

it's also, uh... embarrassing.

[showerbong]

At least Seth offers me a cigarette when we finally pop out the door just like I knew he would. He's the kind of person who seems to get self-conscious of his own vices and needs to drag others into the mire to justify himself. Also, he believes in chivalry, has mommy issues, and clings to a vaguely-defined ethical code likely born out of a strict, non-denominational Christian upbringing. He's from one of the Carolinas. I can never remember which one.

I smoke the Lucky Strike first so as not to reveal to Seth that I have weed, and to get as agitated as possible by the upper before allowing myself the ultimate blissful release of the downer. Edging like this is basically the entire Catholic ideology. The more miserable you make yourself while you're alive the harder you'll jizz yourself for Jesus when you finally croak. All Sunday school did for me was turn me into a bisexual with a bad attitude and a compulsion to continually up the ante in order to enjoy anything. Bong Hits for the Lord.

If I was writing a sexy murder mystery for moms who lunch instead of a deceptively simple campus novel for Ivy League rejects, now would be the perfect time to drop in a line like " 'The French call it petit mort...' Estelle thought, fingering the stem of her wine class and staring into her own tiny reflection in the liquid's burgundy surface. 'Little death." In the story, Estelle is a travel/lifestyle/true crime writer in her early 20s who works for The Cut and is staying in a stone villa in Croatia while she investigates the mysterious death of a young TikTok star after a cliff-jumping-gone-wrong incident in Dubrovnik was caught on Live.

"I'm trying to capture the real interiority of young people, you know? But like, in a sincere way. I just think it's important to like push the canon to a place where real normal guys feel safe being in touch with their inner selves. It's so hard to do it but like Hull said in class, I think I'll get there. I'm so glad that Hull has this faith in the project. He really has an insane knowledge of human behavior. Any time anyone talks in class I bet he's psychoanalyzing them in real time."

Seth's continuing to talking at me about Modern American Realism and employing free indirect discourse more for the next workshop installment of his novella. He's also writing a campus novel. And for the record, I've been working on mine for twice as long. For some reason Prof Hull keeps saying Seth's novella is like so class-conscious. Usually when my installments get discussed in class the feedback is always fluffed up by personal anecdotes and seems to revolve around my unreliable narrator's juvenility.

I just think it's funny how up until last semester Seth was a libertarian, and also, he's never actually had a job before this part-time academic writing TA gig, meanwhile I have been getting wage-thefted at dead end jobs ad infinitum since 2009. I think he was 8 years old at the time.

I need to get the fuck out of here! No one will take me seriously! I'm gonna text Connor a long barrage of messages about Seth while I'm standing here right in front of him. He won't even notice, though. I'm always underestimated!

Me: bestie we have to get the fuck out of Mass this weather is SHIT s*th is bouncing ideas for his novella off of me outside College Hall rn im not saying he plagiarized me but i just think its funny how he graduated from undergrad like two years ago and now suddenly HES writing a CAMPUS NOVEL??? and Hull is EATING IT UP meanwhile anything i turn in is like somehow so vile and amateurish?? 😭 its as if i was turning in pages from feminazi mein kampf to these people like i can't 😭😭

Connor's probably at work right now at the cafe but he always can FEEL when I'm tweaking like this. Seth's still going, on his second Lucky Strike. The beautiful part is that Connor used to be in this PhD program with me, so he always knows who I'm talking about but never has to deal with these people anymore. Connor's way smarter than I am, though, and dipped out of the program before things got too rancid. I, on the other hand, have always fallen particularly victim to the sunk cost fallacy. The Irish Catholicism makes me entirely incapable of cutting my losses, or even realizing that I should have cut my losses, until it's far too late.

Thank God Connor's online. I hope he's sitting on the work toilet shitting on company time.

Connor: AHHHHH wait bestie... he's single white femaling yhou like he's trying to slowly take over your life and become you and then he'll run you over with his Beamer in a campus parking lot what the FUCK?? like, a campus novel from what PERSPECTIVE???

Me: UGH i KNOW its like .. set in one of those big southern schools and its about an artsy straight guy who becomes best friends with a gay closeted gay lacrosse player Connor: WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS A GAY LAX BRO FROM SETH??? AHHHHH wait also Me: I know it's like he's single white femaling both of us... Connor: yes its completely foul outside we should see if we can snag a disgusting little last-minute room on the vegas strip next weekend i switched shifts the other day with my coworker so now im working 8 days in a row but then i have that whole weekend off.. i feel like circus circus might have something flea-infested we could book and like fly spirit airlines out there and then we can bank on getting sloppy and finding some coked-up tech guys to buy us shots and give us casino chips i feel like we could do it for like, $250 Me: OMFG Wait hold on yes wait im gonna smoke this joint and then go look at this on my computer... i am so broke but actually like would be so down to do this for real

[animezinglife]

I have no idea what they’re doing with the show, but even from the gifs I’ve seen it’s strayed so far from the book that I’ve been trying to piece together whether Kate’s even the same character. She certainly looks like Kate. I can tell she has Kate’s insecurities and awkwardness. I can't tell if she's as endearing.

I’m also deeply confused by the lesbian line, but aside from that you’re exactly right. Her entire life, Kate has been the “unseen” one. The “boring” one everyone forgets. By nature, she’s a caretaker--I believe Johnny even notes this in the show and he certainly becomes aware of it in the book.

Kate’s issues stem from the combination of her insecurities and that frustration of how everyone gravitates towards or even prefers Tully. She’s jealous of Tully in a lot of ways, but always tries to be there for her. Tully just takes. She uses and takes from others for her own personal satisfaction (no matter how brief) or gain.

Running the risk of spoilers, Kate never does catch a break. She’s dealt the short end of the stick in every way and everything about her story--with the exception of her marriage to Johnny in the book--is unfair to the point it’s sickening. Her marriage at least became a point of pride for her and something she eventually found herself and confidence in outside of Tully. 

I only know the Tully from the book, and if I'm being honest, I'm not a fan. I don't know if the show just tries to paint her a victim in every capacity or what, but I sincerely hope that if people read the book, they'd feel very differently or at least be a bit more nuanced in their takes.

And I do not get why people hate Kate in general. Everybody on the show had issues. Tully was a very needy friend and she needed someone stable in her life which was Kate. She never had a stable home and in some ways Kate took the caregiver role in their relationship. But Kate had issues too. Yes, it might look she had issues because she wasn't a lesbian in the 70s and neither did she had absent parents but that doesn't mean she didnt have her own set of issues. Her whole life everybody of importance had preffered Tully over her. Sean wanted Tully to give speech at his wedding. He was always more close with Tully. Her parents too had a liking towards Tully. Johnny too was into Tully before her. Her kid prefers to talk with Tully too. So, no she didn't have it easy either.

Stop hating on her so much. Everybody in the show have issues which make them flawed.

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys with a s/o that becomes clingy/affectionate while drunk

characters: kyōtani, kenma, iwaizumi, matsukawa and bokuto

thank you anon for this marvellous request mwah

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

tw// drinking, suggestive themes, sexual references, swearing

Kentarō Kyōtani

kyōtani was used to having a cool, laid-back s/o who was just as awkward about physical touch as he was 

i mean, that’s kinda a part of the reason he liked you so much - so y’all could get over your awkwardness together

so imagine his surprise when his usually level-headed, calm s/o came stumbling out of the club, a blubbering mess and threw themselves into his arms, wailing something about a maths test

THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS THAT FLOODED HIS MIND IN THAT ONE MOMENT OMFG ADFGHJKL

he was like ‘omg why are they touching me? i kinda like it- wait are they crying? tf? i ain’t ever seen them cry before- should i help them? lord everyone is looking at us now. so what the fuck do i do- AYE DON’T TOUCH ME THERE’

so he had no choice but to dip with you flung over his shoulder lol

he took you back to your shared apartment and forced you to drink some water and instead of ordering a take-out, he just gave you his leftover burrito which he took to the club smh

it was probably cold 

but that was the best he could think of at the time bc he simply needed to shut you up with food bc the alcohol in your system was causing you to become especially touchy, hence resulting in kyōtani getting especially aroused

but the last thing he’d do is fuck you while you’re drunk and i firmly believe that despite the fact kyōtani is a bit of a lout - he still has like a basic moral compass

but i mean if you kept being so damn suggestive then it was gonna be a lot harder for him to resist his urges

you were rubbing him up and shit, calling him every pet name in the book so ofc he just stuck a burrito in your mouth and went ‘stfu 😡’

the painful part was that he was silently enjoying it too (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(though, he was red from blushing lol, not anger) 

and he wasn’t used to it either so obviously he was gonna get flustered, i mean, everything was happening all at once

oh and you told him ‘i love you’ and he literally combusted like lord have mercy on this man 

just that morning you were calling him your ‘annoying rat boyfriend’ (jokingly, ofc) and now you love him?-

that wasn’t the first time you told him that you loved him but he was still blushing none the less 

and he stammered out a ‘love you too’ PRAYING that you wouldn’t remember any of this the following day

anyway, he cuddled you to sleep and railed you as soon as you sobered up - the end ❤

Kenma Kozume

pov: you’re kenma happily being a wallflower in the club then your s/o approaches you, demanding for you to fuck them 

- ok, end of POV - 

anyway, your speech was slurred so kenma wasn’t really sure if that was what you were asking him to do but if it was, he would’ve happily obliged if it wasn’t for the fact you were clearly drunk

mans was blushing though

bc y’all hardly ever do it but now - all of a sudden - you were tightly wrapped around him, garbling erotic threats into his ear

kenma was worried at first but you were like..really weak

so it wasn’t hard to get you off his torso, usher you out of the club and grip your hand as he ordered a taxi 

also kenma had read enough wattpad fanfictions to know how to deal with someone while they’re drunk 

but none of those fanfictions ever mentioned a single thing about how to deal with yourself while your partner is drunk

like seriously..he was in pain

both from the throbbing erection he had and the aching embarrassment he felt - both stemming from the fact you tried to give him a lap dance in taxi ✋ please oml

anyway, he took you back to his apartment and insisted that you have a few slices of the left-over pizza in the fridge along with a glass of water

after you changed into your pyjamas, you had clearly sobered up slightly as you could now compose coherent sentences

but that wasn’t any better for him bc now you were draped over him, whimpering into his ear about how much you love him

‘i’m so lucky to have you, kenma. i love you so much. you remind me of my first cat - you’re such a cat- i mean, blessing..you’re such a blessing.’ 

ngl, at that point he would be at a loss for words, just deciding to hug you until you fall asleep

like he finds it so cute that you’re finally opening up to him about how you feel as you’re usually quite composed and restrained 

but also- what does he do now? 

you eventually fell asleep in his arms and the next day, you woke up to kenma having made breakfast and telling you how much he adores you which was..confusing, to say the least

he told you about how you acted when you were drunk and to say you were embarrassed would be an understatement 

also, he’ll tease you about it for the rest of your life ;)

Hajime Iwaizumi

literally all you had to do was send him a text like ‘iwa...,,.,...ily so mycj ❤’’ and he’s already waiting in the line to get into the club lol

he marches in there, finds you, grabs your hand and drags you home 

let’s hope that your friends know what iwaizumi looks like so they don’t have to just watch a random guy haul you out the club-

and tries to act all like angry iwaizumi >:( but when you are trailing behind him, muttering about how amazing he is, he becomes more like angy iwa grrr (* ￣︿￣)

by that, i mean that angry iwaizumi would bring you home and lecture on how irresponsible it is to get so intoxicated 

but angy iwa just takes care of you but with a disapproving scowl 

and angry iwaizumi would make nasty, bitchy remarks about how inappropriate your outfit is 

while angy iwa would be like ‘babe, your outfit is lovely but maybe wear something different next time, idk....’

either way, he takes good care of you 

he makes sure you eat (and he cooks good food btw - he doesn’t make you eat leftovers lmao) 

he lets you change into more comfortable clothes

he ensures that you don’t die in the shower 

and he forces you to go to bed

but all of that is rather difficult when you’re clinging to him like your life depends on it, raving on about how sweet of a boyfriend he is and covering his face sloppy kisses

his original plan was to go train some more in his gym (yes, there is a gym in y’alls house-) but when you were peppering his cheek in kisses, begging him to stay with you for whatever reason, of course he didn’t have the balls to leave

 so he ended up laying like a log in bed as you cuddled up to him like koala, resting your head in his chest and allowing him to run his hand through your hair as you slept

in that moment - as he stared down at your tranquil figure - he realised how grateful he was for moments like these, as he finally got see a side of you that he knew you’d almost never exhibit when you’re sober

like yeah, you often tell him how much you love him but he can always tell that it’s as if you’re setting aside your pride to say such a thing but now, you’re gushing on about it with the most genuine look in your eyes, he can tell that you’re being completely sincere 

and to say that he adores it would be an understatement 

so yeah, you were kind of a pain while drunk but you were also the most adorable thing that iwaizumi had ever laid his eyes on (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Issei Matsukawa

ok so the only reason matsukawa wasn’t getting drunk with you was bc the first time y’all got drunk together he got fined for public indecency and you got done for public intoxication

so you decided that it was best (for your wallets) if you took turns getting tipsy

emphasis on ‘tipsy’ bc you both went to the bar together (along with a few friends) and you promised matsukawa that you’d only have a few drinks 

so please explain to him why he is now having to carry you bridal style out of the bar because you are too hammered to walk properly 

and he was kinda grumpy bc he had to leave his friends mid-conversation bc not only were you pestering him but also, the erotic things you were whispering in his ear caused him to get a boner

and he was getting weird looks from people as he carried you home but that was the least of his problems tbh- he didn’t even notice lol

the biggest issue on his mind rn was the fact that you made him hard yet you can’t help him bc you’re drunk smh 

like he was tempted at first bc you seemed down to do it but he quickly came back to reality and realised how morally incorrect that’d be 

so he was mumbling curses the whole way home just to tune you out bc if he paid any more attention to the racy promises you were muttering in his ear- he’d explode

he’s alright at taking care of you like he isn’t iwaizumi’s level of caring but he’s a close second, i mean he’s gotten drunk plenty of times so he knows the basics

he was like ‘drink water idk lol ’

anyway, once he handled himself he wasn’t too fazed by your lustful advances

and he was so smug about it too deadass like ‘keep talkin’ me up, (y/n), you ain’t getting shit until you’re sober.’

smh ANYWAY he thinks you’re so charming when you’re like lovey-dovey drunk but SO annoying when you’re horny drunk bc like- he can’t get some (T_T)

Kōtarō Bokuto 

best for last 👌

ok anyway he’s an athlete and he doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time- he’s forever drunk tbh- drunk on life :)

so while you’re getting hammered with your pals, he’s doing stupid shit while sober lol

once you both rendezvous outside the club to head home and you’re absolutely steamin- he’s just like ‘hi, babe! how’s your night been?’

SO OBLIVIOUS OML

anyway, he drives back to y’alls house and since you’re fatigued at first, you spent 90% of the car ride sleeping

but when you get home, more awake, you’re all up on him

but you’re not like sensual drunk- more like..emotional drunk but with love 🥺

so basically you are sobbing into his chest about whatever and bc he is an such empath he will start crying too, or at least get a bit emotional 

you could say something like, ‘omg, bo. i hardly get to see you because you’re at work so often- i wish i could spend more time with you. i miss you so much’  ╯︿╰

and he would deadass reply whole-heartedly while weeping into your shoulder, ‘I’M QUITTING VOLLEYBALL, (Y/N)!!’

(ok, so maybe he was a bit tipsy too- but like..definitely not has drunk as you)

he has no idea where to start when it comes to taking care of you but he tries (´◡` ‘) 

at the very least, he ensures that you don’t having any more alcohol and that you don’t die somehow 

he’s v overprotective though 

you could be getting a fork to eat your instant-noodles with and he’ll be like 

‘apologies ✋ but i cannot allow you to handle such a dangerous weapon while intoxicated. maybe eat with a spoon instead, idk.’ /h

other than that, he just cuddles you to sleep and deals with you in your badly hungover state the next day

[spikey-ferret]

Why I give Hua Cheng a BPD headcanon

⚠️TW⚠️: mentions of self harm/suicidal behaviors in paragraph 7

hua cheng shows about 7 of the 9 criteria to be diagnosed with bpd

1. His sense of self is almost always changing between feeling extremely positive and confident in his self and feeling extreme self loathing. He will go from saying things about himself like he is one of the most "sincere" people to thinking of himself as a monster.. He most often feels shame especially with his appearance and will use his shape-shifting abilities to hide his true form from the people he cares about. His sense of self is very often changing and can be heavily affected by the people around him.

2. He can be impulsive whether that be constantly gambling or challenging several gods to a fight he often does impulsive things that could potentially be self destructive

3. He has extreme fear of abandonment.  He struggles to open up to Xie Lian due to thinking that he will be rejected and tossed aside. He goes to extreme lengths to avoid this rejection. This could be seen as Hua Cheng going to extreme lengths to avoid being abandoned. This probably stems from the fact that he had an unstable homelife and was often kicked out and didn't have any strong attachments for years.

4. He struggles with interpersonal relationships specifically with idealization and devaluation and alot of these can seem like bpd splitting(viewing others in black and white thinking). This is shown in the fact that he has a really hard time trusting literally anyone and viewing most people as horrible people and a threat even if he has no reason to. He has a hard time coming to terms with people being more moraly gray. One of the exceptions to this and his extreme idealization is in his relationship to Xie Lian. Infact you could even argue that Xie Lian is his fp(favorite person). Hua Cheng spent majority of his life surrounding his whole motivations and personality to Xie Lian. This can be obsessive and even negatively affect his mental health at times. Of course Xie Lian and Hua Cheng end up in a healthy relationship this is not to romanticize fps but merely discuss how Hua Cheng most certainly has an fp and that is Xie Lian.

5. He often suffers from mood swings. Although it is not outwardly stated but you can infer that he does because he can often experience extreme intense unstable emotions. He is shown multiple times to have such intense mood swings that he can hit rock bottom within minutes and then his mood can bounce right back up just as quickly. You can see this all the way back to his childhood to now whatever you call being 800 years old.

6. He very much struggles with controlling his anger. I mean it's stated several times within the series that he is so angry at the world. And rightfully so considering his conditions growing up. I mean he has been shown to set things on fire out of pure anger.  I mean this is all in a fantasy setting in real life us people with bpd don't go around doing this stuff. But it's also shown that his anger issues can be internalized as well.

7. ⚠️Major TW for this all⚠️:

And finally we have his sucidal and self harming behaviors. We are first introduced to his character when he was barely even 10 years old and our first introduction to him was as a child he attempted to fall to his death but was saved by Xie Lian in the first chapter. I mean I feel so bad for this character becuz he really hasn't changed much in the sense you can always tell that he's almost always suicidal. I mean his character has died not once, not twice, but three times in the whole series. He really struggles with this. He also tends to struggle with self harming behaviors. I mean he ripped his own eye out what more evidence do you need for this. (Sorry I had to include this cuz this is one of the main diagnostic criteria for bpd once again sorry for the triggering topic)

Honestly I love these books and I love Hua Cheng's character and it's nice to see he finally got a second chance at a happy life with Xie Lian but he also suffers alot. Of course alot of this is in the fantasy genre so some of this is pretty unrealistic but one of the most realistic things about this is his struggle with mental health and idk I just feel like it's not talked about enough infact alot of these aspects of his character tend to be romanticized. I just wanted to discuss something I noticed in his character because I also have bpd and I noticed the same traits in his character. Anyways I just wanted to share this please do not use this to romanticize these aspects of his character but only to further analyze this part of him. If you noticed any other traits I missed please comment I would love to have a discussion about this.