#-problems is on the rise with no clear root cause

[divinekangaroo]

Different horse, this one in rehab. She was sold a while back with strict diet instructions due to her appearance of insulin resistance which weren’t followed, so she got fat. Her owners worked her harder and reduced food quantity (but not changing type) thinking she was just lazy or overeating, until she hurt herself badly. Word got around (as word does in horse communities) and Mr D went and reclaimed her. She is now back to trim and walking normally but won’t race again.

The most mellow horse I have had the privilege of meeting.

[elysiansparadise]

In a world where everything seems superficial, they seek to get to the truth and know the essence behind everything.

Sagittarius Rising: The Wanderer

There is an air of mystery in their relaxed and contemplative appearance. Natives with a strong physique, gifted with the charisma and wisdom of Jupiter, these natives tend to look older when they are young and younger when older. A charming enigma, they can go from being hilarious, witty and jovial, to being rational, analytical and observant. An insatiable thirst to see beyond appearances, seemingly perfect systems and the masks people seem to wear. Strong will and mind, endowed with courage and bravery, no obstacle seems greater if they take a look at everything that forged them. They are people devoted to the beliefs they have and, no matter how open-minded, making them change their minds is not an easy task. Adventurous and curious when something catches their attention, rooted when making a decision. An inquisitive mind with idealistic overtones, a strong need for independence and a character with ambivert tendencies.

When we see Capricorn in their 2nd house, we can define that they firmly believe in the value of hard work and effort. From a very early age they learned that the best things in life or the most valuable things require work, sometimes giving up things that, although deep-rooted, only cause pain. They are willing to make sacrifices and work intensely long hours to achieve their goals. They do not usually take unnecessary risks and prefer safe and stable investments, both economic and time and energy. They have a strong ambition to achieve success and feel proud of themselves. They set high goals for themselves and are willing to work hard and persevere to achieve them. These natives are the clear representation of valuing quality over quantity, and can be considered picky by other people. Their self-esteem and self-worth are often linked to their achievements of all kinds, leading them to feel that sense of security when they have achieved their goals. They think long term and plan their future with vision and strategy. Their focus is on building a solid foundation that will provide them with lasting security and prosperity. It is likely that they grew up feeling that many things were missing in their lives, materially, emotionally or even spiritually.

Since they have Aquarius in the 3rd house, these natives are very open to new and different ideas, a trait that is often constantly associated with this rising. They enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts on many diverse topics, from the simplest to the most profound. They have the quality of adapting well to different communication styles and are able to speak with people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives, ironically, they hardly feel that other people understand their way of thinking. Sometimes they may even feel judged for the way they communicate and think. They value mental independence and prefer to think for themselves rather than blindly following what others say. Their thinking is free and they do not easily conform to traditional opinions, nor are they afraid to question them. They have strong intellectual intuition and can reach conclusions quickly through intuitive perceptions. They are not afraid to question or debate regardless of the person they are dealing with. They are prone to feeling creative during short trips and can be inspired by things that to others may be very mundane or simple. Their rational nature helps them find ingenious solutions to complex problems. They have an insatiable intellectual curiosity and love to learn about a wide range of topics. There are chances of being only children, having some kind of distance from their siblings, or feeling very different from them. They can treat friends fraternally.

There is a lot of depth in the overlay of Pisces in the 4th house, as it is a part of the natives that others do not have a notion of so easily. In their childhood they could have been sensitive children, with that curiosity about the world around them, to understand how things worked, the people around them and, even at their young age, how life worked. There may have been that feeling of being lost, of not finding your place and a longing for that security that is associated with the word 'home'. For these natives, it is an important refuge for them, a place where they can retreat and recharge their energies, and I clarify, this does not necessarily have to be the one in which they were born, but rather the one they create. They dream of a quiet home, in which they can lower the volume of the outside chaos. Many of these natives need a serene space to maintain their emotional balance. They can find comfort in movies, books, music or even in the art they create, whatever it may be. This placement sometimes suggests someone who from an early age had to take care of someone else, whether it was a sibling, an older relative, or even their own parents. They are very perceptive people of the emotions of others, especially those that are deeper, those that others seek to hide. They can also be very intuitive with the emotional needs of their family members. They like to create a welcoming and hospitable environment in their home, as they enjoy making others feel welcome and comfortable in their space. They need a space where they can escape the demands of the outside world and find solace. They look for an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity at home.

With Aries in the 5th house, these natives tend to have a passionate approach to romances. Romance with them feels like an awakening, the awakening of excitement, intrigue, and a desire to explore new things with them. An emotion that drives you in your daily life, that motivates you and drives you to live the day as if it were your last. They greatly value their independence but once they know that you are what they want, they jump in with enthusiasm and can be very direct and honest in expressing their feelings. They like certainty and indecision in a person may seem unattractive to them. There are no grey tones, half-hearted feelings or unfinished ideas, they are looking for a lover as willing, daring and passionate as they are. Love makes them feel alive, fills them with enthusiasm and the desire to go after what they want. It is very likely that once they find love they will feel more ambitious, creative and confident. They value their independence and freedom in love, so they will not tolerate any type of relationship that restricts them or makes them feel limited or incapable of being themselves. They will always focus on motivating their partner and encouraging them to do what they are passionate about, they will never limit them in any way. These natives attract a lot of attention and stand out for their attractiveness, confidence, and sexy and independent aura. Many of them enjoy playful competitiveness. Their self-expression is direct and unfiltered. They are not afraid to be themselves and express their opinions and desires clearly and forcefully. If they decide to have children, they will be active, expressive, playful and very authentic. They can be parents who prioritise that their children have a strong sense of self-acceptance, that they are not afraid of anything and that they feel empowered.

Something that these natives will prioritise a lot no matter what their well-being is, from physical, to emotional and mental, which we attribute to Taurus in the 6th house. When they see that something is not positive in their lives, they do not hesitate to keep it away from them, because they are in constant search to keep what gives them pleasure and comfort close, distancing themselves from what sinks them and prevents them from growing. They can be very selective about what they make part of their day to day, and this includes the people they surround themselves with. They are people who will make part of their routine things that they find pleasant or comfortable, so they may have problems doing chores or things that they find boring or repetitive, postponing them and falling into procrastination tendencies. Taking care of their body and emotional tranquillity is something of great importance to them, so it is common for natives with this placement to exercise, do or have skincare routines, read constantly, meditate or practise similar activities. Many of them have this need to stay active, to be constantly doing things and even if they stay busy, they may have that feeling that they are not using properly most of their time or that they could be doing even more productive things. This placement tells us about the importance of comfort for them when choosing a job, without forgetting that it can also indicate earning a lot of money doing something that they really like and gives satisfaction. In their work they can enjoy not only a good reputation, but lasting bonds and courtesy with others. Taurus being here shows us natives who can be very devoted and constant with any task they have to do, investing a lot of time in it. A good work ethic is possible and a calm and relaxed way of working, as they dislike putting themselves under constant stress.

They highly value their independence, it is difficult to get their attention, and it is even more difficult to awaken in them that desire to have a long-term relationship, and it is not because of fear of commitment, but on the contrary, they think deeply and are very clear about what they want in a relationship and a partner for the long run. This rational and analytical, but above all precise approach is thanks to Gemini in the 7th house, as it means that Mercury is ruling this house. These natives do not have a long list of requirements that you have to meet to be their life partner, but they know perfectly well what things they do not want to deal with. Their discernment makes them realise this easily, and their blunt personality makes them not hesitate to make it clear. They want a partner who makes them look twice, who awakens their curiosity, interest and that has a magnetism that attracts them. They are fascinated by people who always have something to say, those with a clever and agile mind that fills them with excitement and makes them discover sides of themselves that they didn't even know they had. Someone that speaks their mind, that turns daily and boring into exciting and pleasant. They have a fear of deception and sudden distancing from their special person, so they will look for a partner who seeks to be present without the native asking for it. They are people who think a lot when it comes to being with another person. They want to find someone who will erase their doubts with actions and words, a person who will constantly let them know their intentions, feelings and thoughts, someone who will surprise them, not necessarily with seemingly big and outlandish things but by showing that they are not the same as the rest of the people that the natives to found throughout their lives. Good communication is something of utmost importance when thinking about a potential long-term partner, much more than other aspects even. For them it is crucial that this person can talk to them about anything regardless of the weight of the situation. Their future spouse is a person with great intelligence, good social skills and a person who uses his resources and knowledge astutely, someone who is difficult to catch off guard, open-minded and often a fascinating communicator. They will enjoy a marriage with adventures, fun and many learnings. Both the natives and their partners will feel intrigued and strongly attracted to each other, they will be intellectually stimulated and may even feel that they are both friends and partners.

One of the aspects of their personality that is less talked about but that is very determining in them is Cancer in the 8th house. These natives experience their emotions in a very intense and deep way. Their emotional world is rich and complex, and they can be very sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. Although they are protectors and caregivers, they can hide their own emotional vulnerability. Many of them, due to their experiences, are often afraid of showing their weaknesses and tend to build a protective shell around their emotions. They have an innate capacity for emotional healing, both for themselves and for others, transforming themselves and those around them internally. They can be excellent counselors, therapists, or emotional healers. They are firm protectors of what they consider family [whether biological or not], they will keep those they love safe and will not hesitate to attack to defend them if necessary. Their approach to sexuality is deeply tied to their emotions as it is crucial for them to feel a strong emotional connection to fully enjoy their sex life. They may have deep fears of abandonment or betrayal in their intimate relationships. They need to feel a deep emotional and spiritual connection with their partners and can be very protective and nurturing in their intimate relationships, being attentive to their partner's needs. They love the idea of ​​having a relationship where both can be vulnerable with the other and where both fiercely defend the other, giving themselves body and soul to the other.

These natives usually have Leo in the 9th house, which tells us that their pride lies in their intelligence, talents and abilities. They are excellent and fierce debaters who will always seek to speak their truth without filters and without trying to win the good side of others. Strongly tied to their convictions, they give great importance to justice and will always act according to what they consider optimal and most correct in certain situations. Since I mention their strong and fixed opinions, it is worth mentioning that it is difficult to change their minds. If the native is not grounded enough, they are likely to believe that they have the absolute truth and refuse to listen to other people. Their intelligence and ability to create is great and they can bring many interesting and successful projects to life. They will have a lot of happiness traveling or connecting with other cultures, as well as a source of ideas and the ability to create warm memories in places far from home. They may feel very different from people from whatever group they belong to, from school, or even from the stereotypes of their countries. They have a strong passion for knowledge and education, as they love to learn and may have a great interest in philosophical, spiritual or cultural topics. They can communicate their ideas passionately and effectively, motivating others to learn and explore. They have academic ambition and in some cases this placement leads them to seek high achievements in their education. 

With Virgo in the 10th house, these natives are seen as reliable and responsible people in their professional field, coupled with their serious and committed approach to their work, earning them the respect of their colleagues and superiors. Their integrity and work ethic are fundamental to them, and they do everything they can to avoid mistakes or failures. For them it is always crucial to charge and show that they act based on their principles, seeking to do things correctly. They stand out for being adaptable and able to adjust to the changing demands not only of the professional environment, but of what they experience throughout their lives. They are extremely dedicated to their work. They have a strong and admirable work ethic and are diligent and meticulous in everything they do. Always seeking to improve and achieve high quality standards. They can be very critical of themselves and others, especially those who boast of being superior in role or morals. They can be excellent in roles that involve analysis, administration, or any type of detailed work. They may choose jobs in which they maintain order, have control of a specific area or a specific group of people, that are related to analysis and research, or something that involves supporting or helping others. They do not seek recognition or glory, but are satisfied with doing their job well. They are not interested in pleasing others or meeting other people's expectations, rather they constantly strive to meet the expectations of a single person, themselves.

Natives with Libra in the 11th house are selective with friends, thinking a lot before giving that title to someone; Despite their initial wariness, they remain cordial enough. As friends these natives can be very supportive and caring, giving not only sympathy and affection, but also bringing realism to the lives of their friends and colleagues. This placement gives them the tendency to be popular and/or recognized either in their environment or on the internet. They value their friendships very much and will always focus on them being fair relationships in which they get the same as they give to others. They can create very strong ties with friends and vice versa, in some cases it can be expressed in friends being very attached to the native and relying on them, although there may be a risk of dependence on either party. They are very good at working as a team and can count on diplomacy. They are the kind of people who seek social justice, can defend others from injustice and prevent them from getting hurt. They hate injustice and discrimination, because they believe in equality regardless of gender, age, race or beliefs. They are skilled at mediating and resolving conflicts within their social groups. Their natural diplomacy allows them to find fair and balanced solutions to disagreements. They have the ability to positively influence the groups to which they belong. Their ability to see both sides of a situation allows them to provide balanced and fair perspectives. This house is also related to earnings through their work, with Venus ruling this house we can also determine that they can have many economic benefits in a job that they genuinely like.

What lies within you, love? How does Scorpio in the 12th house play a role? When someone sees you they immediately perceive your strength, they sense your impetus and courage, many even tremble at the power that you naturally emanate, but only those who dare to look directly into your intense and sharp gaze, realize the pain that has forged your shell and attitude. You are secretive with many aspects of your life, you deeply bury the gray and overwhelming tints that life has poured on you. You don't let anyone know for fear that it will be used against you. You have learned to watch you back, that trust is not something that is given to just anyone. From betrayals, disappointments, people's cruelty and prejudices... you have been through a lot and yet you remain firm, because you know that you yourself are your most faithful companion and your strength. Fear of betrayal, revealing too much of yourself and being judged or ignored, fear of loving someone who doesn't love you with the same depth. You have a fascinating mind, a fervent desire to get to the bottom of things, and the ambition that allows you to achieve it. It is difficult to hide things from you, because your keen intuition accompanied by your need to discover the truth are your most lethal weapon. You feel things deeply, many times more than you would like, and for you there is no middle ground. You are decisive and do not hesitate, things may be black or white, yes or no, all or nothing… Unlike other people, you find refuge in the spaces where you are on your own. At the end of the day it is better than the masked crowds, those who smile in front of you and conspire behind your back. You have the ability to sense when someone is not what they seem, you can detect people who have shady intentions for miles, a gift that experience has given you. All of these traits protect your noble and loyal heart, the one that makes you capable of completely surrendering to something or someone that makes you feel safe and comfortable. It's never too much for you when it comes to someone you love or something you're passionate about.

[osmanthusoolong]

“Is porn addiction real? Less so than claimed, argues Lisa Hagen in a bombshell report for NPR. In this article, the journalist explores the ‘masturbation abstinence’ and anti-porn addiction movement in the US, finding a landscape filled with pseudoscience, reactionary rhetoric, and shame. “In one study,” Hagen notes, “among people who self-identify as ‘pornography addicts’, the average frequency of porn use was less than ten times a year”.”

…

“Meanwhile, sex acts outside the norm are often configured as things that only exist to hurt and degrade women or pollute their relationships, rather than as things women could possibly be interested in. Several of the women I’ve talked to have spoken about being into kink, and about how alienated they feel by discourse that kink is just a cover for violence against women, rather than something women themselves can desire and instigate.”

…

“The subtextual ‘threat’ behind ‘wrong’ porn gets very queer, very quickly. An interviewee for NPR describes a common set of anxieties on the forums he frequented: ‘‘The common themes were ‘porn is turning me gay’ or ‘porn is making me cross-dress’ or ‘porn is making me want to be dominated’ or ‘porn is making me like transgenders [sic]’.” It’s pretty clear that men are feeling drawn to the taboo thrills of getting topped, gender-play and gay exploration, whether as fantasy or as real possibility; men are also, I noticed, sometimes seeing straight porn and identifying with the woman. This opens up possibilities and anxieties that ‘porn addiction’ forums seek to close off. If you’re thinking about this stuff at all, they say, you have an addiction that is driving you to seek out ‘extreme’ material, and you need help. Reading this as a queer guy felt like hearing the Kill Bill sirens going off: it’s so clear that any erotic charge towards sex workers of any kind, gay men, trans women, or stigmatised forms of sex are seen as polluting ‘proper’ straight life.

If you read through anti-porn forums and programmes as someone who knows what conversion therapy looks like, you will find its tells in abundance. Heavy emphasis on shaming, while also promising that the programme will provide a way out of that shame; advice that new desires might not go away, but can be ignored and managed; unspoken assumptions that monogamous, cisgender, heterosexual, vanilla sex is the sexual ideal; heavy use of pseudoscience; intimations that the reader is being purposely corrupted by the porn industry or a wider, conspiratorial ‘agenda’. UK Rehab’s page on porn addiction advises that “pornography addiction can lead to changes in sexual tastes, desires and practices […] which can cause huge problems for addicts in relationships. The addict may begin to engage in different forms of sexual experience and expression, which may include risky sexual behaviour […] Even in less extreme cases, as mentioned above repeated exposure to hard-core pornography can lead to changed expectations of partners, which can make attaining a “normal” sex life increasingly difficult”. What is ‘normal’ here? What is ‘risky’? What are the ‘tastes’ in question?”

…

“Women, in particular, are taught that men’s excessive sexual desires are the root of cheating and disloyalty and sexual violence (rather than the misogyny that makes men disregard women’s boundaries, for instance), and that they therefore need to surveil and police their partners’ porn use. This is furthered by the assumption that any desire to use porn at all is a marker of unmanageable sexual vice and voraciousness, which you’ll particularly find in evangelical/religious circles.”

The fact that people will argue in court that this problem that, again, doesn’t exist, is responsible for CSA and other sexual violence and not the structure of society and families encouraging and enabling such…

…

“Most people who think they’re addicted to porn aren’t. What they’re addicted to is policing their own genders and sexualities, hoping that if they just do so a little more successfully, all their personal and relational problems will fall away.”

This seems relevant to the constant discussion about the subject here, especially given the politics of the people who think porn addiction/porn brain/etc is real

[class1akids]

I just caught up and dude I don’t think appreciating endeavor as a character makes someone a pro-abuser how could you say that. The director was wrong about the title change but why are you dragging her kinks into it? It’s separate from more concerning things like the title and missing scenes. Her primary problem was putting emphasis on the family instead of spotlighting shouto. Now I’m seeing misinformation from ppl I follow that it’s solely about her liking endeavor when that’s not the case.

Let me clear it up - I'm not a purist in any way. Appreciating Endeavor as a character or shipping him with whoever doesn't make you a pro-abuser, but manipulating or altering canon content to fit certain untrue framing can make someone's storytelling pro-abuser.

Let me sum up the issue and expand on what I mean:

Director announces her promotion to series director with a tweet with EndHawks plushies. Some fans raise eyebrows, but most don't react.

Director tweets about liking Endeavor fat ass and various other kinks from the same account she uses to communicate from as one of the official faces of the anime.

Director changes scenes that get widely interpreted as Shipping additions (Endeavor getting giant fire wings that don't exist in the manga and making sure his ass is in plain view)

Director changes the pre-agreed title of Todoroki Shouto: Rising last minute, even though the episode is Shouto's last episode and one for which he is very clearly the focus character connecting part A (his talk with All Might about becoming who he wants to be) with part B (the Todoroki climax and Shouto becoming who he wants to be).

She knows full well that it will anger fans. So instead of a title that applies to Shouto, we get a title that "might apply to Shouto" but also might apply to the family Endeavor. (We all know it wasn't about All Might who had three more episodes coming up and where they didn't even bother to adapt the famous middle schoolers panel). So now instead of a title that celebrates a beloved character's coming into his own as a hero, who did 90% of the work when it comes to Touya and the family, we have a title that apparently applies to the character who ironically was "never there" and even now is only there to do a murder-suicide. It obfuscates the fact that the family coming together meant total annihilation until Shouto showed up with a solution.

Trying to stretch All Might's "I'm here" which can apply to Iida and Shouto to Endeavor, who caused the entire tragedy in the making and frame the episode that this is "also" Endeavor's "I'm here" moment rather than his reckoning is a pro-abuser interpretation and clearly goes against Horikoshi's authorial intent of story-framing.

The Todoroki family climax is compressed into a 10-minute part B, where miraculously none of Endeavor's scenes are cut, but Natsuo's flashback is (isn't he family?), and so are the kindergarten kids rooting and smiling for Shouto despite them being prominent in the manga, not to mention Shouto's big double spread, Hawks hugging Tokoyami or Geten and Compress discussion. Yet there was time to give the TogaChako fight with the same amount of chapters 1.5 episodes.

The Director expresses a kink for Endeavor crying and as a strange coincidence the episode makes the change from the manga (where Endeavor is not crying) to the anime with Endeavor crying big tears.

On the episode MVP, even though most votes were for Shouto, Touya and Iida in this order, they changed the second place for the "Todoroki family", to include Endeavor even though in Light Fades to Rain they refused to accept votes for the UA Big 3 (and Mirio didn't even make the list). Ironically, this change in the counting meant that Endeavor won a place on the MVP, while All Might for whose "big and impactful moment" the supposed title change was, didn't make the MVP ranking.

Fans asked the official account to tell them if it was Todoroki Shouto Rising episode - it was trending for days. The official didn't respond or address those concerns in any way. I can tell you, Shouto fans were in real distress for days as Japanese fandom could not conceive that someone could cut the Rising title and it ruined the episode experience for many fans. Then the following week during the TogaChako episode, the official account tweeted "Rising this week and last week" which made the fans feel mocked and even more angry and wondering if the staff is truly this dense or downright malicious.

Btw, she was also behind the OP storyboard in S6 where Ochako was made to seem single-handedly save Deku while the entire Class A was erased almost completely. BK/DK fans were furious at the time too and she was widely criticized for that choice, but at least it was "just an OP" and not actual source material adaptation. So it's not just Shouto fans who feel that she's not the most impartial when it comes to the anime adaptation or understanding the manga.

I'm sorry, but the evidence is pretty overwhelming that certain changes are being made to fit Nakayama's personal ships, kinks and character preferences. I don't care normally who she ships or what fetishes she is into. I don't care if people like Endeavor, as long as they don't try to alter the canon content to deny his wrongdoings.

However, she was the one using her work account to tweet about Endeavor's ass - people didn't go digging into some obscure side account. The Japanese fandom was talking about it for days. I find that truly unprofessional.

I don't want someone in charge of adaptation of the manga who thinks that it is ok to flaunt her ships and kinks on the same platform she uses to tweet about her work. Plus her thirst tweets taint the work of her colleagues - many of whom worked hard on amazing sequences that were faithful to the source material and showed deep understanding of the content. It's disrespectful to them. They made the episode shine in spite her intents.

And it is clear that she is unable to stop herself from filtering her preferences into the adaptation. She is not writing fan fiction or making a fan video. She is adapting the manga into the one and only official anime for the entire fandom and she needs to be able to take off her Endeavor-fan hat, her EndHawks shipper hat or her Ochako fan hat and stop alienating and disenfranchising fans of other characters. Shouto fans, in this case whose Rising from now on will only exist in the manga. (Or you know the two people who were looking forward to for years seeing Geten and Compress one last time in the anime).

It's also good business not to alienate fans whose viewership generates ad money and who spend money on merch which eventually finance her job.

And with these very questionable things, I do think people questioning her real motives is both normal and fair.

Not to mention, Shouto fans are demonized for complaining, but 90% of the comments were simply asking to add the "Rising" subtitle to part B for the home DVD release which is honestly a no brainer if they want to boost the otherwise pitiful sales of the BlueRay / DVD.

[hazelsmirrorball]

Spiderman’s Biggest Fan |  Jaime Reyes part 4

summary:  Jaime Reyes is the biggest spiderman fan. His girlfriend on the other hand is Spiderman's biggest hater. 

pairings: Jaime Reyes x Spiderman! FemReader 

a/n:  Part 4 baby! Hope you guys are enjoying this little series.  I know I said this was going to be the last part but I’m going to do one last part because 5 is my lucky number. Sorry in advance

warning: English isn’t my main language. Angsty and kinda sad. Not edited

[MASTERLIST]

part one. part two  part three part five

Aunt Marisol was dead.

The last ounce of family she had was dead and she left like a coward. Her mom and dad were gone before she had consciousness. Her uncle Ben died before she could even graduate high school and now Aunt Marisol, the only person she had left was gone. She had left her to root under piles of blocks. The person that raised her and took care of her most of her life was treated like shit. 

Y/n was a murderer. Even though she didn’t throw the bomb after her, she knew that the cause of it was her own fault.  She felt guilty for her aunt's death, if she weren't bitten by that damn radioactive spider she would be with her aunt right now, chatting about God knows what. If she would’ve organized herself and her life better she wouldn’t be dragging other people into her problems. There was no time to regret her actions, because that for sure wasn’t going to bring Marisol back. All she had of her were two things, the fight two hours prior to her death  and her words stuck in the back of her head. 

With great power comes great responsibility.  

Aunt Marisol didn’t recognize the person she had become but in all honesty. She couldn’t recognize the person she had become either. The real her would’ve stayed with Aunt Marisol. She would’ve, scratch that, She should be with The Reyes family, she should be showing her face at Marisol funeral, she should be mourning her aunt's death but there she was, avoiding everything and everyone. She hadn’t heard a thing from The Reyes family, not because they weren’t communicating with her, her phone had been blown up with text messages she decided to ignore, not ready to face anyone, specifically Jaime. 

Y/n in the past three weeks was houseless, her secret was out for Milagro to spill at any second, villains were on the loose making Palmera a big threat to civilians. She was on the verge of dropping out of grad school. She also assumed she was fired from her job and she didn’t have a clue if the Reyes family was okay since she didn’t want to anything, she didn’t want their pity or the mutual sadness, she couldn’t deal with that right now. 

With great power comes great responsibility, yet right now Y/n couldn’t even deal with the responsibility of keeping herself afloat , let alone save  a whole city. She finally accepted that she had lost it.  

It was clear that her priorities weren’t straight, she was aware of that. But all she wanted to do was stay in a corner while the funeral service started. Y/n had no intention of talking to anyone. She didn’t feel like hearing people's pity stories. She was used to it already growing up without parents made her get used to peoples sad eyes and pity glances. It didn’t help, so why even pay attention to them. Half way through the services Y/n managed to take her phone out distracting herself from the cries she could hear all over the room. 

As she scrolled around her eyes locked with a pair of  yellow eyes glowing towards her. Her eyes focused on the report that was glowing from her phone as she felt shivers down her spine remembering what Karen said. She should’ve called for backup when Karen suggested it. He could’ve helped her and maybe there could have been a chance she survived. Seeing him made her feel more guilty than before. A constant reminder that Marisol was dead and it was all her fault. 

Blue Beetle. 

The rising super hero that had shown up out of nowhere to save the day. Y/n never really trusted the Kord legacy and weirdly enough, Blue Beetle was associated with them. Which in her head meant that Blue Beetle wasn’t one to trust. But who could blame her? Ever since he showed up nothing but chaos came to the Palmera citizens. Something that Kord enterprises was known for doing so it wouldn’t surprise Y/n if he was associated with them and their evil origins. 

Her eyes glared at the screen in front of her not noticing how Jaime sat next to her quietly waiting for her to notice. Her thoughts snapback to reality as she felt Jaime rest his hand on her thigh. Her eyes wandered towards his face, noticing the tear filled eyes. Y/n looked at him with a sourlook. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him. She couldn’t break right now. She was going to keep Jaime safe. 

Jaime had a family to take care of. He was already dealing with grad school, work and his family. Having her in the mix made things worse, he had recently lost his dad, his house and now Aunt Marisol. Y/n couldn’t risk someone else being added to the dead list. 

“Can we please talk?” Jaime managed to get out as he extended his hand towards her. Y/n softly nodded holding his hand while heading to the exit noticing how the Reyes family eyes followed her. She shocked her head as she looked at the exit avoiding their eyes. 

As Jaime and Y/n headed outside both of them sat on a small bench outside, none of them daring to break the silence surrounding them. Y/n played with her hands as Jaime heard Khaji Da telling about Y/n's off demeanor. 

“How is everything going? Where are you guys staying?” Y/n asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence surrounding them.  

“I guess we are as good as it can get. Jenny actually helped us with a place to stay while we fix the house” Jaime replied softly as Y/n grimace as the name of Jenny Kord  got brought up. 

“Well, I’m glad”She replied as she played with her lips softly not knowing what to say. 

“You know, I know this is a lot for you but I really want to help you, Y/n. But I can’t help you if you continue to push me away. I know this is all of a sudden but you can’t keep pushing me away. I was really worried about you. I thought you died too!” Jaime exclaimed as his voice broke.

"I just..." before Y/n could even continue talking Jaime stopped her words.

"I know this may sound dumb but I think you need to hear this right now. I know for a fact Spiderman will find those people that got aunt Marisol and he will do the right thing."

"Jaime, for fuck's sakes! The only thing you talk about is that damn Spiderman. Fuck him all he does is fuck peoples lives off. If he were actually good, if any hero was actually good, there wouldn't be any crime, but Palmera is getting fucked by the second and your little Spiderman or that damn beetle haven't done a thing. Open your eyes Jaime. The only moment where heroes have actually done anything is in the damn comics your read, beside from that they are not to be trust"

Jaime stared at her agape not knowing what to say. He never intended for this conversation to take the route it was currently in. He wanted to tell Y/n to stay with them. He wanted to help her, not fight with her outside of a funeral home.

Y/n closed her eyes in pain knowing what she had to do. As much as it was going to hurt the both of them she knew it had to be done now, for their safety and relationship. Y/n stayed quiet for a few minutes much to Jaimes dismay. 

“I think it’s best if we broke up” Y/n replied nonchalantly as she looked him dead in the eyes. She watched as Jaimes face dropped and more tears threatened to spill as she stayed with a neutral look on her face making Jaime even more hurt. 

“What?” Jaime's voice broke as his eyes widened, not believing what was going on.  Y/n took a deep breath and turned to the side not wanting to see his broken face, knowing that she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“I’m glad that you came here to show support and everything. I’m grateful for everything we have done as a couple but  right I think it’s best for us to take a break Jaime. There’s a lot of things going on and I need time” 

“Are you hearing yourself right now? I just told you about opening up to me and not pushing me away. That’s what you are doing right now. I can’t help you if you are constantly pushing me away. I’m all that you have left. What the hell happened to forever”  Jaime exclaimed  angrily, getting up. Y/n focused her eyesight towards the sidewalk in front of her not wanting to face Jaime. 

“I’m not asking for your help Jaime. I’m telling now that maybe us, this, wasn’t meant to be forever. That’s something you need to get through your head. Now, as I said, thank you for showing up. I’m sure that Aunt Marisol appreciates it, but I need to go back inside to talk to people. Goodnight Jaime” Y/n replied calmly, giving her back towards Jaime as tears fell from her cheeks hearing the cries escaping Jaime’s lips. 

With great power comes great responsibility.  

Jaime was right. Spiderman will find those assholes that killed aunt Marisol and she was going to do the right thing. Even if it took to kill them in the process.

That was Y/n's new purpose in life.

[MASTERLIST]

part five.

[crow-raven-crow]

heyyy

could you please do something around the idea that everyone always expected reader to have kids but she just didn’t want them. She stayed a virgin so no one expected anything but before she had sex with larissa for the first time she tells her and the rest is up to youuu

thanksss

𝐎�� 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠..

𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 - [𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝟏𝟖+]

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐟!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: ~3.2k 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: FLUFF, they're so cute, NSFW, first time, virgin reader, slight marking, dom!Larissa, fingering, oral sex, aftercare, soft

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: see above

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

AO3 link in title ✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

Three..

The end of the day couldn't have taken longer to come. The rhythmic tick of the classroom clock echoed through the space as students finished up the remainder of the assignment, launching you all into a weekend that was well deserved. Your inbox, once a chaotic sea of emails, was now clear, grades were all caught up ad up to date, and you had signed every piece of paperwork you had. You were proud of your productivity, bit it didn't get rid of the jittery energy that consumed you, making every minute feel like an eternity.

Two..

A hand shot up into the air, a confused lycan attached to it, and it immediately caught your attention, causing you to rise from your seat and navigate through the maze of filled desks around the room. As you moved, the breeze caught the edges of your skirt, sending a shiver through your body and causing your arms to rise and rub warmth into your arms.

One..

You managed to answer all of her questions, the root of the problem coming from a formatting error within her document, and you watched as all stress seemed to fade from her face, a small, beautiful smile taking over her features. There was a certain magic i those moments when you watched as relief washed over them, something that translated beyond the academics and creating a comfort that made them feel like they could ask you about anything, school related or not.

RING

The sound of the bell had caught your off guard for just a moment, shuffling papers, moving chairs, and zipping backpacks overshadowing the loud ring that had come just before. You rushed to the front of your classroom, hoping not to be lost in the crowd of excited students, and wished them all a good weekend. You held the door open as they all left one by one, giving all of them a genuine smile, and some hugs as you watched them disappear into the hall.

You quickly turned around, a surge of excitement coursing through you as you thought about the weekend you'd get to spend with your lovely girlfriend that was just ahead of you after her work was done for the day. The routine was a familiar one, keeping things in their own spot to make coming and going easier. With everything stowed away in your bag and one of Larissa's coats wrapped around you, you left your classroom and into the slowing hum of students making their way through the halls.

You always took your time at the end of every week to talk to the passing students, being sure to ask about any weekend plans and give smiles to each one. The architecture made it all the more easier, the large cut outs in the towering walls lighting the campus in the golden hues of the afternoon, promising a beautiful sunset.

As you grew closer to your door, more excitement seemed to settle within your veins. Times with Larissa always seemed to make you feel whole, completely in your skin as your soul smiled back at her own. This weekend was one for just each other, something you both decided to do every other week, and it created a buzz to erupt in your being.

You brought out your keys as you approached the dark, heavy door, taking a bit longer as your mind wandered through the possibilities of how you could pass the time, and slowly undid the lock. As you pushed the door open, your keys fell to the floor in shock, your jaw dropping only to shift into a smile moments later.

As you looked around the room, you saw it was littered with flowers, the curtains were drawn open just a bit to allow the setting sun to filter through the room, small fake candles flickered around the room, and a few petals created a path toward your lit fireplace, illuminating your lover in the warmth. Larissa sat within a pile of pillows and blankets, the same petals and fake candles were settled within them to end your path and create some light, snacks and wine rested to her side, and your coffee table had been moved out of the way - she had created your perfect stay at home date night right under your nose.

You smiled as your made your way to the blonde, setting your things down and haphazardly kicking off your heels as you fell into her arms. You littered kisses around her face, starting along her jawline and ending on her lips. "I thought you'd still be working!!"

"I thought I'd surprise you with an early start to our weekend." She carried you into her lap while laughing, being sure to reciprocate any and all of the kisses you threw her way. Her arms made their way around your torso, pulling you close and capturing you in the safety of her arms. As she pulled away, a confused yet knowing look took over her face, making one appear on your own. Her hands smoothed over your sides, along your arms, against your thighs, until they settled back onto your hips. "When did you get my coat?"

A shy smile took over you, your own hands coming up to rest on her shoulders as you broke eye contact for just a second. A warm hand captured your chin, turning it up and making your gaze meet dark sapphire ones. You felt your face heat up as she looked at you so closely, as her overall dominance seeped from her skin. "This morning as I left your quarters.. I'll be sure to ask next time because I jus-"

You were cut off with her lips on yours, the action making your stomach swarm with butterflies and your chest swell with love. Her voice was low and just above a whisper as she spoke against your lips, "There's no need to worry, sweet thing.. It looks good on you, and it tells everyone just who you belong to.."

She leaned back in quick for another heated kiss, successfully stealing all the air from your lungs and making you whine as she pulled away. "Now, go get comfortable.. I'd hate to spend another moment apart from you, darling."

~~

The thick blankets and your lovers arms shielded you from the cold of your room as the movie played on the tv screen. The pillows against both of your backs gave you comfort from the hardwood floor under the sheets beneath you. The golden light of the setting sun had faded away, welcoming the silver moonlight and shine of the stars to enter your room. Your head rested against her chest, the steady up and down of her breathing bringing you immense comfort as one of her hands traced mindless patterns against your side.

You looked up at her for a moment, taking in her beauty as her eyes were focused on the screen. You watched her eyes move along the colors of the screen, the lack of mascara and eye liner making way for the blonde eye lashes that were always hidden from the gaze of others, then moving to her crows feet and smile lines, loving how they displayed a life that you were now apart of, and then to her unpainted lips which made a small smile come to your own as you studied the pale pink color.

You raised a hand up to her cheek, rubbing your thumb against the smooth skin as you moved to press your lips against her own. It was soft, loving, unexpected to the blonde but welcomed all the same. You felt a smile come to her lips as you kissed her, and the fact made your heart soar. When you pulled back, your eyes met her own and you were sure that you could get lost in them for an eternity, the dark blues dancing along with the lighter ones were a gem in themselves that you wished to keep forever.

"Thank you for doing this.." Your voice was soft, just above a whisper as you spoke, translating the pure adoration you held for her and just how much something like this meant to you. Your words seemed to take her aback for a moment, for she couldn't understand how someone so beautiful, so intelligent, so amazing to her could be thanking her for something so simple - she believed that you deserved the world, and this was just her first steps at giving you such.

"I'd do all of this again and more if it meant I could enjoy more time with you.." Her tone matched your own, and you suddenly found yourselves lost in the love that took over your bodies, took over the entirety of the room around you.

What a thing it is, to fall in love.. To have it eat you up from the inside out just the same as the one in front of you, to want to know everything there is to know about a person, yet still get lost in the beauty of the smallest details, to truly love all they have to offer. To cherish the company of the goddess in front of you was enough to feed your soul for lifetimes.

She leaned back in, connecting her lips back onto yours, and created a kiss that translated the love of that eternity - a softness so pure, so consuming that you were sure your soul was being devoured by her own, mixing in a timeless dance where every whispered confession, every stolen glance became so much more.

Her tongue swiped at your lower lip just as one of her hands made it to your hip, slipping under the blankets, under your oversized shirt and gracing the skin with her cool fingertips. It sent a shiver down your spine and easily allowed her entrance into your mouth. Your tongues danced together, exploring each other's mouths as every exhale made her breath ghost along your face. It was as though everything else faded away, only the two of you existing in this moment.

She shuffled slightly, pushing her weight over and settling her body between your legs, never breaking the intoxicating kiss she had you in. When she pulled away, it was only to catch a few ounces of air, her lips immediately meeting your jawline to plant tender kisses there, only to move down, down, down against your neck.

Everything felt electrifying, a buzz running through your veins as her lips met your skin again and again and again. And, oh, her tongue felt delicious against your skin, smoothing out against your pulse point after sucking purple marks that made your breathing ragged, made it hitch as small whimpers escaped your lips.

It was when her hands smoothed over your bare sides, moving higher and higher and pushing the fabric up with every soft trace, that your mind seemed to catch up with reality. Your voice was breathy as you spoke, heavy with want but with a note of urgency, "Ri- Riss- wait.."

You knew where this was going to head, and though you wanted it, needed her, it was something she deserved to know. Everyone had thought you wanted kids as you grew up, but the appeal was never there. Due to the type of school Nevermore was, anything you could've really wanted in that realm was fulfilled by the love for your students. That all just left you a bit inexperienced in this department.

"I'm- .. I haven't- ..I've never-" It was as though the words slipped from you under her caring gaze, the blush on your cheeks being from a bit of embarrassment and from the growing heat between your legs. She looked at you with no judgement, trying to piece together what you were trying to say until you watched it all click into place for the blonde.

"This is your first time.." Her voice was soft, gentle as it coursed along your skin in a loving hold. She watched you nod slowly, catching the bob of your throat as you swallowed hard as you waited for her to continue. She brought a hand to your cheek, stroking it gently before she moved you both completely. She easily lifted you onto her lap, making you confront her with your full attention.

"There is nothing wrong with that, my darling girl.. If this isn't something that you want righ-"

"I do! I-" You watched as a knowing smirk rose to her lips, her hands rubbing along your sides to give you some comfort as your words got lost on your tongue. "I want this with you.. Can we.. I want you to show me what it feels like.. I want you, Larissa Weems.."

"Of course, sweet thing.." Her voice was an octave deeper as she responded, loving the way her name rolled off your tongue, and you watched how her pupils dilated just a bit when you rolled deeper into her lap. She grabbed a hold of your hips, grinding them against her thighs just for a moment before lifting you up and carrying you to your bed. "Though, you deserve so much more than the floor."

"If there's anything you don't like, we'll immediately stop. I want to make you feel good, darling.." She placed you gently against the mattress, watching as your body sunk into it ever so slightly and loving how you still reached out for her in your closeness. She paused, for a moment, as she looked down at you in pure awe.

Your skin was illuminated by the moonlight, shining just like the very stars that rested in the sky. Your blush was more prominent in the light now, the pink hue such a gentle feature along your skin, something she traced with her thumb, causing you to hold the back of her hand and press into her palm. Her other hand guided down one of your legs, and it was in this moment how she truly appreciated just how well you two fit together.

"You're beautiful.." The words had slipped out, her thoughts presenting themselves on accident, but she didn't wish to take them back.

You leaned up, wrapping your arms around her shoulders and pulling her down with you. Your lips brushed against hers, your words a whisper before crashing your lips together, "I love you.."

The kiss was full of emotion, just like all the ones before it, but it quickly morphed into something more, something pleading, something begging, something hungry.. It was as though you were back to where you had left off, her hands gliding along your sides and pushing your shirt up to reveal more of your skin. When she leaned back to get a better look at you, she removed her own shirt and tossed it to the side, never taking her eyes off you.

The sight before you made your mouth water - pale skin that you hadn't had the pleasure of seeing before was now revealed to you, and you wished to see it again and again. Her lips trailed down your neck, lining your collarbones with little bites and bruises before moving down to your chest. Her hands squeezed your breasts as she kissed along the valley between them, her fingers softly smoothing over your nipples and causing your back to arch into her touch.

When her tongue swirled around your right bud, a pleasure filled gasp left your throat, immediately followed by whimpers and small moans as she continued her ministrations on both buds, forming them into hard peaks before she was satisfied. She looked up to meet blown pupils and your bottom lip between your teeth, and she knew that you'd quickly become an addiction.

She worked on getting rid of the rest of your clothes, pulling them down your legs and being sure to leave a trail of kisses down one and up the other as she did so. A moan left her lips as she saw your glistening core, causing her to trail one of her hands to your inner thighs, tracing her fingers along your slit to see what she had already done to you.

"I've barely even touched you, and you're soaked.." Her voice was husky, completely taken over by her lust. She brought her fingers to her mouth, placing them on her tongue and licking them clean. The sight made a whimper escape your chest, the need to feel her fingers, her tongue against you growing by the second. "Delicious.."

She brought her fingers back down to your core, collecting more of your juices before moving her fingers to your clit. The contact made you gasp, something that turned into unadulterated moans as her fingers worked in tight circles against the sensitive bud. "Fuck- Riss.."

Your back arched as she continued her movements, and you felt her lips start kissing down your abdomen, getting closer and closer to where you craved her..

You felt her fingers slip away, and a loud whimper left you, only to be cut off into a loud moan as her tongue replaced them, licking up your slit and swirling around your clit. You wreathed underneath her, a tightness forming in your lower abdomen that made you see stars.

Her fingers traced your entrance and, slowly, she pushed two into your core, moaning at how you immediately clenched around them. When you adjusted, she slowly started to move them in and out of your wet core, the sensation shooting electricity through your body and making you grip the sheets beneath you.

Your chest heaved with her growing pace, your back sore from arching at the pleasure and your thighs threatening to close around her head. Every touch she gave you was more fuel to the fire. She curled her fingers just as she sucked on your clit, and the action made all breath leave your lungs and a cry of a moan leave you along with it.

You felt your thighs begin to shake, the pleasure building itself higher and higher and pushing you towards the delicious edge. With another curl of her fingers, you came hard with a moan of her name. Your body shuddered as the waves of pleasure ran through you, and she slowly helped you right out your high.

You felt her lips travel up your body, causing your eyes to flutter open only to have her lips meet yours. You tasted yourself on her tongue and moaned at the fact, your kisses sloppy yet full of love for the woman above you. She pulled away for just a moment, allowing you to come back to earth as she came back with a towel and glass of water. She cleaned you up with a gentle touch, and brought the glass to you lips when your eyes had opened again.

After putting everything on your bedside table, she rested on her side, pulling you towards her as you settled yourself comfortably in the crook of her neck. Her fingers traced mindless patterns along your back, after she pulled the covers over both of your bodies. When your breathing finally settled down, you looked up at her.

Her eyes were shining, paired with the beautiful smile you loved so much, and it seemed as though she was glowing. With a soft kiss to your forehead, pulling a small hum from your chest, you tangled your legs together and rested your head against her chest, enjoying the sound of her heartbeat as sleep took over you for the start of a beautiful weekend.

~~

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐚/𝐧: SHE'S BACK BAAAYYYYBEEEEEE

gods i missed Larissa and i'm so glad that i found the passion to write for her again. i was blasting out so much for her back to back that i was getting burned out and i hate feeling that !!

with finals coming up and holidays and stuff literally right here, i couldn't be as active as i normally am but it served as a nice break away from everything. i feel like i need those every so often so i dont get in my head about stuff i upload

ANYWAYYS

here you go anaon!! i hope you liked it !! sorry it took so long, i know im not very current on requests but i know you all understand and im grateful for it <3

xx,

~ 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: (tagged anyone who asked/wanted to be on the "all works" taglist)

@autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @finnja555 @barbarasstar @vendocrap8008 @gwendolinechristieiscute @lilfartbox1 @agathaandgwenslesbian @lvinhs @elvira-dear @kimiinou @ladybathoryy

✧･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧ :══════⊹⊹══════: ✧･ﾟ｡˚☾.･✧

[4dkellysworld]

Why clear the subconscious to realise Self

I hope this helps people who are struggling with trauma/deeply rooted wounds and are looking for a way to reconcile this with their goal of self-realisation 💕

Context:

The prime obstacle we meet in seeking this unlimited being is the subconscious mind. It is full of thoughts of limitations which propel us every day and they do so automatically. We have made these habits of subconscious thoughts so strong that even when we recognize the direction we would like to go in, the subconscious thoughts keep directing us for quite some time (sometimes lifetimes) until we finally succeed in overcoming them. We overcome them with thoughts of what we really want to do in life, and in that way we become master over the mind, controlling and eliminating the thoughts until only the thoughts we want determine our behavior. Then we’re in a position where we can do something about the mind. We can start to transcend the mind, rising above it and dropping it. In short we let it go! And when we do we find ourselves this pure, infinite, limitless, totally free Being that we naturally are. Then happiness is complete. from Session 9: Mastering Mind and Matter of Keys to the Ultimate Freedom - Lester Levenson

The following excerpt illustrates Lester Levenson's own journey to self-realisation: he actually cleared a chunk of his own subconscious thoughts first before going onto self-inquiry. This would have allowed for a much quieter mind than if he just dived into self-inquiry without it.

I began correcting all my thoughts and feelings in that direction from that of wanting to be loved, to that of loving. And in that process, I discovered another major thing that kind of shocked me. I saw that I wanted to change this entire world, and that was the cause of my ulcers — or one of the major causes. In realizing how much I wanted to change things in this world, I saw how it made me a slave of this world, I made the decision to reverse that. And in the process of following out these two directions — actually unloading all the sub-conscious concepts and pressures in those directions — I discovered I was getting happier, freer, lighter, and feeling better in general. As I saw this direction was good, I made the decision that if a slice of pie tasted this good, I wanted the whole pie. And I decided not to let go of this direction until I got that entire pie of happiness, and with it the answer to “What am I?  What is this life, and what is my relationship to it?” This decision allowed me, as I claim, to get the answer to life itself in a matter of only three months. I believe if I can do it, anyone can do it if they have that much “want to”. In that three month period, all the ailments I had in my physical body corrected. All my miseries dropped away. And I ended up in a place in which I was happy all the time, without sorrow. Not that the world stopped pushing against me —it continued — but I was at a place where I could resolve things almost immediately. Having cleared out the negative fears, all the negative “I can not’s,” I would focus right on the answer to every problem, and get it very quickly. And so, my whole life turned around from being depressed and sick, to being happy all the time, and being in perfect health all the time. from About the Author of another version of Keys to the Ultimate Freedom, also probably in his autobiography No Attachments, No Aversions

I'm not sure why some of the digital versions of Lester's Keys to The Ultimate Freedom didn't include this final session 37 because it's in a scanned copy of a 1993 version (1 year before he died). He had spoken on the importance of clearing subconscious thoughts first to quiet the mind but this was watered down in the 109 page digital version and even overlooked in Session 1 where he says it's "not necessary to dig up this unconscious mind, in fact it's much better to try to quiet the mind." (the wording was changed in other versions to highlight clearing subconscious thoughts first). Depending on the individual ego's own history of trauma, limiting/negative beliefs, tendencies, habits etc (aka samskaras in Hindu philosophy), they may or may not be able to easily quiet their mind to see their Self (the main goal) if they keep getting bombarded with thoughts they can't control despite their best efforts to disidentify/drop/ignore/meditate/control it.

I also believe this is the missing piece and answer to dealing with trauma in a practical and appropriate way on the path to self-realisation. Any good therapy also ultimately concludes with releasing & letting go so it no longer affects the person anymore; this is the true essence of healing. I've personally found a lot of benefit and peace from clearing subconscious thoughts on my own journey and Lester did this too and benefited a lot - he didn't jump straight to self-inquiry (Ramana Maharshi considered self-inquiry to be a practice for 'ripe souls' and recommended other methods for aspirants first depending on their state of mind (to clear and quiet their mind in preparation for self-inquiry)).

So we are all going through the same trip of trying to discover what is this all about, where is my happiness, and when we stop chasing after it out there and we turn inward, we discover that all these hard negative, terrible feelings are only a feeling. And that it is possible to get rid of these feelings by releasing them. All these feelings are subconscious programs — every bit of them put in as pro survival — it's not only fear, but survival. All our feelings have been programmed in to automatically keep us surviving. They keep looking out there, trying to survive, keeping our minds active subconsciously 24 hours a day, so never do we stop to think and discover what we are. So what is it that is keeping us from being in the most delectable state that there is? Simply the accumulated programs called feelings, all these negative feelings have us constantly struggling to survive, having us constantly looking away from this tremendous thing that we are, and all we need to do is quiet that mind and become self-obvious to ourselves of this tremendous being that we are. How do we do it? I say it’s simple. The Release Technique*. It happens to be the fastest, the most effective way there is to achieve this high state of being. When we are in total control of our universe, where every moment is a wonderful, wonderful moment, it is impossible to be unhappy. And I say that is our natural state when these negative feelings are released. So I urge you to learn this technique. It’s a tool, and in one week's time, there will be a big change in you for the better, and from there on, you will continue to get better and better, lighter and lighter, happier and happier. from Session 37: Release your Loving Nature - Keys to the Ultimate Freedom *The appendix describing this technique refers to a whole book called The Sedona Method (written by one of Lester's students) and it was too damn long & boring for me to read lol. (If you're interested in the book, you can download it from my Google Drive) The basic instructions is to bring subconscious thoughts to the conscious so they can be dropped: Feel all the thoughts/emotions (if any) and imagine them leaving your being, acknowledge them then consciously choose to release & let them go now so they no longer have a hold on you.

So clearing a chunk of subconscious thoughts first (not aiming for perfection, just clearing the major roadblocks - in particular the ones that keep causing intrusive/compulsive thoughts no matter how much you ignore them) will help a lot in quieting the mind and then you can more easily do the other practices such as meditate/do self-inquiry/self-surrender with a quiet mind to see & know the Infinite Being you are.

Remember that there is no "one size fits all" approach to self-realisation because everyone has different history, traumas, mental/emotional/spiritual maturity, temperament etc (this is a reminder to let your Self be your main guide & guru and do what's appropriate for your own journey, you don't have to follow any guidance/practices/teachings that don't resonate with you even if others are saying something is this way or that way). Even Ramana Maharshi acknowledged this:

When asked once by Swami Yogananda, a Swami with a large following in America, what spiritual instruction should be given to the people for their uplift, Ramana Maharshi replied: “It depends on the temperament and spiritual maturity of the individual. There can be no mass instruction.”

Obligatory disclaimer that this post does not constitute as medical advice as I am not a therapist, this is based on my own understanding of non-duality as well as my personal ego experiences both on this journey and prior to. If there are major traumas that you feel you need to release first in order to quiet the mind, I would actually recommend finding a competent and trustworthy professional to help you unless you already have experience going through therapy and know how to dig into your own subconscious and release things on your own properly (going to therapy in the past gave me the understanding and experience to do this on my own now). I emphasize on the *properly* part because if you attempt to bring up major traumas from the subconscious without knowing how to properly deal with them, it could actually cause more harm to the psyche so be careful on this please.

So I actually do think therapy and trauma healing has a place on this path to self-realisation and this is where my beliefs deviate from 4dbarbie a bit (I still agree with leaving the mind alone but again, clearing the major subconscious traumas/wounds/blockages first has been immensely beneficial and effective in quieting the mind to make it easier to let go of/disidentify from ego and abide as Self). Everything that I share on this blog are intended to be pointers, suggestions and helpful tips for people on the same journey. If you resonate with it, feel free to explore it further and if it doesn't, you can disregard it :)

[astrology-by-sita]

ON VIRGO RISINGS ♍️

This is a part of a series on the rising signs not necessarily in Zodiacal order.

Virgo is The Hermit in tarot. The hermit is austere and is not supposed to have an ego and personal selfish desires, just surrender actions to God, or higher power, and not be attached to results. Ego - sun - rules their 12th house, that's their hidden enemy. Virgo is about the purity, not s3xual purity, but the purity of action. An action is pure when there's no attachement to a result to gratify the ego. An action dedicated to the universal higher power is a pure action.

Of course one should demand to be adequately and justly paid for work. But doing acts of service for someone and then demanding them to be in a relationship in return is not pure action. Expressing love through acts of service is genuine and pure when you do NOT think that the other party owes you a relationship in return. Or anything in return.

Service just for the sake of service is the highest form of devotion, to a person, to God, etc cause after all when we love someone it's a part of a greater love to the universal higher power. So that's the essence of Virgo. It's a very devotional sign. The "perfectionist" stereotype stems out of Devotion. What's Devotion if not longing for that perfection, that union with a higher power?

Virgos have sagittarius in the 4th house. The "origin/root" (4h) of acts of service (virgo) is divine wisdom (sagittarius). Virgos can bridge the spiritual with the practical. A great Yogi - Paramahansa Yogananda - is a Virgo rising with Sagittarius 4h mercury. He bridged the devotional, spiritual aspect of yoga with a practical method to follow in your daily routine.

He popularized the practice of yoga in the west this way. Basically he made it clear that anyone can practice yoga and reach realization IF and only IF they're devoted enough to maintain this daily practice in their routine. You don't have to live on a mountain and be a monk etc you can be a normal human in a city and still be spiritually realized.

Virgos are stereotyped as "boring" maybe bc of that 5h capricorn. Saturn rules 6h & 5h so their daily life and work is creative even if slow cause of saturn influence. I do not think this is boring at all. They have pisces 7h so they're likely to be attracted to foreign people from a different background. They have scorpio 3h and Mars rules 3h & 8h. so they struggle with communicating their ideas & needs.Especially day charts. This causes relationship problems too. Relationships become one-sided

Unfortunately they face a lot of disillusion in relationships cause they set their partners on a pedestal. A relationship doesn't have to be perfect in order for the love to be true. What's more romantic than loving someone "warts and all"? Nothing.

Virgos have their feet in the ground except in the area of relationships, there they have the head in the clouds. Which brings them disappointment, disillusion, deception. Their relationships work if they start as friendships first cause their 7h ruler jupiter exalts in 11h cancer. So virgos better not skip the friendship stage.

Their 8h ruler Mars exalts in 5h in capricorn so expressing their traumas through art and creativity can help a lot. They are also perfectionists in whatever they create. Their 10h ruler Mercury exalts in Virgo 1h. When they are comfortable with who they are and stop being so harsh and critical on themselves they excel in career. They have aquarius in the 6th house and aquarius is what you wish for. They wish to be of use and this can motivate them to excel and perfect any skill.

All of us can learn from virgo risings to accept God as the giver of the fruit of action and put the ego (and its desire for results) aside while performing any action.

[mint-yooxgi]

{5} - Morning Mist - Yandere!Dragon!Ateez X Chubby!Reader

Yandere AU & Dragon AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst

Pairing: Ateez X Reader

Words: 2,515

Warnings: This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Short update for you guys, but I feel like it sets up the next chapter nicely!! Finally, we’ll be able to soon see the progression of some of the relationships OC will have with a few of the guys! I’m super excited, so I hope you’ll all look forward to it, too!! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Mini Masterlist

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” A frown tugs at the young male’s features, following close behind another as the taller of the two storms away.

“I mean exactly what I’ve just said,�� the other sighs, stopping abruptly and causing the shorter male to crash into his back. “No.”

A frustrated sigh leaves Jongho’s lips as he sharpens his gaze at his flame headed brother.

“You’re too infatuated with this girl,” Mingi mirrors Jongho’s stance, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do not lose sight of our main goal.”

“All I’m saying is that she may have a point,” Jongho counters. “Perhaps we are taking the prophecy too literally.”

“How do we know we can even trust a word she says?” Yeosang voices, leaning casually against the wall with his own arms crossed.

“She did save Seonghwa’s life.” Yunho shrugs.

“Yeah, after nearly killing me.” The eldest huffs, a displeased furrow to his brows.

“To be fair, you did deserve it.” Hongjoong hums, turning the page of the novel he’s currently reading at the kitchen table.

“I thought you didn’t care for those stupid, ancient customs.” Seonghwa rounds on the male, scowl pulling at his features.

“I care about you bringing dishonour to this clan in our attempts to retrieve the crown.” Hongjoong replies, quite pointedly, as he shoots a look over the top of his book in Seonghwa’s direction. “We’re lucky she agreed to spare you after the first time.”

“She’s starting to become a pain in the ass.” Mingi grumbles.

“Watch it, Min.” Jongho’s eyes flash in warning at his brother.

“One thing’s for sure,” Hongjoong adds, a knowing look thrown at the younger two, “she’s spared more than one of us, more than once.”

“What do you mean?” Wooyoung’s voice is heard from across the room.

“Well, our youngest here broke the deal we made with her as soon as he revealed his face to her again,” Hongjoong softly closes his book, sliding it slightly up the table for the moment to give him room to place his elbows in front of him. “She had every right to tear you apart where you stood for breaking our word right then and there.”

“At least we know she’s honest about giving warnings.” Yunho observes, recalling how quickly that blade embedded itself right beside his head the first time he met you. He shudders.

“She’s a strange one, alright,” San hums pleasantly, continuing to mix some herbs together in boiling water.

For the past two weeks he’s been attempting to create new mixtures of tonics and salves, but he hasn’t had much luck. He either overcompensates for one ingredient, or gets the measurements completely wrong. Currently, he’s attempting to dilute frost berry leaves like you’ve implied can be done. The only problem is, he literally has no idea what he’s doing.

A low growl is heard from the youngest.

“I meant it in a good way,” San is quick to defend, coughing as a puff of smoke rises from the ash root he’s just added to the mixture.

“She’s strong, that’s for sure.” Jongho smiles faintly, recalling the moment he shared with you in that clearing so many nights ago. 

Sure, you may have thought nothing of actually revealing yourself to him, but the youngest cannot help but read more into it than you probably intend. You could have kept hidden. You didn’t have to reveal yourself. But you did.

“Strong enough to best me.” Seonghwa grumbles, a small pout on his lips.

“It’s easy to best you,” Yeosang puffs out a dry laugh, earning him a glare from the eldest.

“Strong enough to hide her true nature to the point where no one can tell what she is.” Yunho observes.

“She holds herself like an ancient.” Seonghwa adds, a harsh curl to his lips.

“Do you think she is one?” Wooyoung voices the thought on a few of their minds, somewhat absentmindedly himself.

“She certainly acts like one,” Mingi huffs, sitting down on a chair at the table, opposite Hongjoong.

“No, I don’t think she is.” Hongjoong comments, interlacing his fingers together. “But I think there’s more to her than she’s letting on.”

“You’re telling me,” San huffs, waving away some more smoke that continuously billows out of the cauldron he’s using.

Hongjoong’s eyes narrow. “Do you know something that we don’t?”

“Just that her perception and sensory skills are in a completely different class than ours.” Wooyoung replies for his brother, knee bouncing as he props his foot up on the one rung of the stool that he’s sitting on. Both he and San share a look, considering how close Wooyoung resides to the table his brother is currently working at.

Hongjoong looks towards Jongho, but at the way the younger casually averts his gaze, the elder has his answer.

“So, not only did Jongho break the deal, you two knuckleheads did as well.” He sighs, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “How are we supposed to build our reputation before we become the new rulers when all you do is disobey my orders?”

“To be fair, it was her cubs that brought us out of hiding.” Wooyoung says.

“You were found by her cubs?” Yeosang leans forward slightly, nothing but disbelief painting his features.

“Yeah, cause someone couldn’t control himself.” San narrows his gaze at the younger male who raises his hands in defence. “Just admit you’re interested in her, too. It’ll make it easier for all of us.”

The snarl that escapes Jongho gets ignored.

Wooyoung shoots a pointed look at San. “That’s rich, coming from the man who was practically on his knees begging her to teach him her ways.”

“I’m thinking ahead!” San is quick to retort, the tips of his ears turning a vibrant shade of red. “We could use her knowledge of herbs and tonics to our advantage. Wouldn’t it be great if I could figure out an antidote next time without getting her involved?”

“You’re not using her for anything.” Jongho’s voice is but a low growl as he rounds on his brother.

“I didn’t mean it like that-“

“Then what did you mean by it, San?” Jongho’s eyes are wild, nostrils flaring as he stares down the elder male.

“She’s made you crazy,” Yeosang shakes his head, seemingly disappointed in the younger male. “Irrational.”

“I love her.” Jongho narrows his gaze at the male leaning against the wall.

“Your mistake.” Seonghwa scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t know her like I do.” Jongho retorts, teeth bared in a snarl.

“I don’t think we want to.” Mingi states, leaning back further in his chair as he crosses his arms.

“Speak for yourself.” Wooyoung mumbles, staring down at the ground beneath his feet with a slight frown on his face.

“I’ll admit, I’m curious about her, too.” Hongjoong hums, shifting his position slightly to rest his one arm against the top of the table. “If we can learn a thing or two from her in our quest for the crown, we might be able to finally gain the upper hand over the Wolf Gang.”

“I don’t think she’ll be easily convinced to train us, let alone see our faces again.” San sighs, somewhat sadly. “It’s a shame. She was really cool.”

“You call her poisoning and almost killing your brother ‘cool’?” Yunho inquires, brows raised in slight amusement.

“She had a salve that immediately started closing Hwa’s wound while it stunted the bleeding.” San replies, matter-of-factly. “Obviously, she knows a hell of a lot more than she ever lets on. So, yeah. Cool.”

“San might have a point.” Yeosang’s frown deepens, not liking this one bit.

“Think of how much stronger she can make us.” San continues. “Is that not something to be considered?”

“She will not train us.” Jongho says, voice firm as he shakes his head.

“How can you be so sure?” Seonghwa quirks a brow.

“She’s trained the Neos.” Wooyoung grumbles, somewhat bitterly.

“Because she considers them family.” Jongho replies, somewhat exasperatedly.

“Then what are you to her?” Mingi’s sharp gaze pierces the youngest.

Jongho pauses, exhaling a long sigh. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, ‘I don’t know’?” Seonghwa frowns, annoyance clear on his features as he takes a step towards the youngest.

“I was sure she hated my guts, and she still might, but she didn’t necessarily tear me apart when she saw me again.” Jongho explains, shrugging lightly. “I don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize our relationship any more than it already has been, and using her like this, for entirely selfish reasons because of all of your desires, does not bode well with me.”

“And is her asking me to stop burning down our conquests to help speed along the prophecy not selfish on her part?” Mingi counters, voice slightly incredulous.

“I don’t think it’s selfish at all.” Hongjoong’s response surprises all of them, but none so much as Jongho. “I think she has a point. We’ve been taking this prophecy about the crown too literally. Perhaps it’s not even a jewel that we’re meant to be searching through the ashes for.”

“You’re trusting a stranger’s words over our own?” Seonghwa’s brows raise, staring in disbelief at the younger man.

“Not necessarily,” Hongjoong shakes his head. “I just think it’s time for a change. How many years have we been hunting for this supposed jewel, only to come up empty handed each time? Maybe it’s time for us to reevaluate our search tactics. What Jongho said that she told him about being a good leader is true. There is no honour in complete destruction. What will be left to rule over if we burn it all to the ground?”

A few of them take the time to actually consider his words, like Yeosang, Wooyoung, San, and Yunho.

“What’s gotten into you lately, Captain?” Mingi spares an incredulous look at Hongjoong. “You’ve never cared about this stuff before.”

Hongjoong remains silent for a brief moment as he looks down at his one hand on top of the table.

“The Wolves are not our biggest threat out of all of the dragon clans.” He sighs. “If the Neos wanted, they could easily overpower each and every single one of us in sheer numbers alone. The fact that we now know they have her on their side, and the fact that we have no idea what she’s truly capable of, is not a comforting thought. We’re just lucky Taeyong has no interest in claiming the crown for himself, or for his clan for that matter. If he did, we’d have probably lost a long time ago. That, or we’d all be dead.”

“Is this about her, or those damn Neos?” Seonghwa’s brow furrows, arms crossed firmly in front of his chest.

“Both.” Hongjoong meets his gaze from across the room.

“But if we could get them on our side…?” Wooyoung trails off, a glint shining in his eyes.

“It might take a lot of convincing,” Yunho nods, hand coming up to support his chin as he contemplates his brother’s words.

“Good luck convincing grudge holder number one and two of anything after the stunt Hwa pulled with her.” San huffs, somewhat amusedly.

“Have you seen her since that night?” Yeosang turns his attention back to the youngest, nothing but curiosity in his voice.

“No.” Jongho shakes his head, a sort of longing taking over his features as he glances out of the window in the direction he knows your house to be in. “I’d rather not push my luck with her right now. I’m just grateful she’s giving me another chance.”

“From the sounds of things, she hasn’t granted you that chance, yet.” Yunho reminds him.

“Then, you know what must be done for him to get that second chance.” Hongjoong says, and all heads turn to look at Mingi. “After all, he’s still our brother, and he did imprint on her.”

A brief silence.

“Oh, no,” the male shakes his head, brows furrowed in discontent. “Just because you are all convinced she’s right about the prophecy, doesn’t mean I am.”

“Who said anything about being convinced?” Yeosang quirks a brow.

“Believe me, I like this about as much as you do,” Seonghwa sighs, looking down briefly at the ground. “I don’t trust her at all, and if I could, I’d tear her throat out for what she’s done to me-“

Jongho snarls, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Oh, get over yourself, Seonghwa,” San rolls his eyes, bringing a finger up to his lips in order to swipe his tongue across the skin, testing the mixture for the nth time that evening. “You deserved-“

The room goes unnaturally still as they watch San’s eyes roll to the back of his head, body immediately collapsing onto the ground. The male even manages to hit his head on the side of the table, the scent of his blood filling the air as a large gash now resides on his forehead. A gash which does not seem to want to start healing.

The moment San’s body starts convulsing, the others seemingly snap out of their shock and rush over to him. Wooyoung is the first by his side, checking the male’s pulse and shifting him onto his side.

A moment later, and San begins emptying the contents of his stomach onto the ground, blood dripping down his chin.

“What’s going on?” Yunho’s panicked voice reaches their ears, fear flashing in his eyes as he meets his brother’s gazes all around him.

“I don’t know,” there are tears lining the corner of Wooyoung’s eyes as they can all do nothing but watch as San’s whole body trembles. “He’s usually the one that deals with the remedies, tonics, herbs, and such.”

“Don’t you usually help him?” Yeosang nearly snaps, irritated by the lack of preparation Wooyoung seems to have in situations like this.

“Not all the time!” Wooyoung replies, frantically.

“None of us are healers, except for what San knows.” Hongjoong replies, feeling the younger dragon heating up beneath his touch.

“There is one person I know who can help him.” Jongho replies, immediately scooping San into his arms and standing back to his feet.

“Like hell she’ll help us again.” Mingi spits, holding Jongho back by the shoulder.

The younger males spares a glance over his shoulder, keeping his voice low. “Let me go.”

San’s breathing begins to strain, chest stuttering as he fights to get air into his lungs.

“We have to try.” Wooyoung is already gathering a sample of what San had been working on in a flask, falling into step behind Jongho as he heads for the door.

“I hope you’re right about this,” Yunho grimaces, his heart racing uncontrollably with worry in his chest.

“Come,” Hongjoong nearly tears the door off its hinges as he rushes outside. “We cannot waste anymore time.”

The others follow close behind him, rushing out into the crisp evening air. Extending their wings, they take off into the sky, saving their brother the only thing on their minds.

[hedghost]

What do you think less would be like after an argument, like really apologetic or a bit stubborn

alessia russo / tipping point

lessi never liked arguments. she couldn’t bear all that came with them; hated the confrontation, hated the negativity, hated the rash words and the flying accusations.

she preferred to talk it out, to be calm and empathetic and logical, but even the most levelheaded, positive people can have bad days.

alessia was tired. training had been rough - she hadn’t been on her game today and she knew she’d played poorly. everything she did seemed to go wrong, everything she touched seemed to break. every person she spoke to seemed to say the exact thing to frustrate her even more. she was cold and miserable and soaked through, her body hurt and her head ached.

all she wanted when she came home was calm, and quiet. so when she came in to find you laughing loudly with your friends, she was far less than pleased. she mumbled a quick hello before heading to the shower. she tried to breathe in, to squash the irritability she felt rising inside her at the noise coming from the kitchen, but even the water didn’t seem to calm her.

not in the mood to navigate yet more social interaction, she remained in the bedroom until she could tell your friends had left. she emerged slowly, hoping to find solace in just curling quietly up beside you, but you were no longer sat down.

not noticing lessi’s low mood, you began to chatter aimlessly at her as you bustled about in the kitchen. alessia gave minimal replies, her tether growing ever shorter. she felt herself begin to snap the more she spoke.

neither of you were even sure what the argument eventually blew up about. maybe she’d made a snappy comment you didn’t like, maybe you’d begun nagging her about leaving her shoes in the middle of the floor again. no matter what it was, it escalated hard and fast, ending in thoughtless comments that were far from the initial cause of the argument.

while alessia avoided arguments at all costs, you had a tendency to be more hot-heated, so when alessia snapped, you didn’t exactly back down from the confrontation. you were confused at why alessia was angry, but rather than dive into the root of the problem, you were quick to defend yourself. despite hating arguments, alessia was stubborn, and too exhausted and miserable to put up a front.

the argument continued for a little while, with you loud, defensive and stumped at why alessia was blowing up. while you anger was dry and loud, alessia’s was wet with unshed tears.

she wasn’t even sure why she was yelling at you, and she hated it, but all the pent up emotion from the day was spilling out and she just couldn’t stop. she hated arguing, she got upset every time, she always cried out of frustration.

once alessia’s voice broke and the tears started falling, you came to your senses a little. you were still annoyed and upset at how she’d blown up at you, but it was clear to see there was something else causing her to act like this.

no matter how stubborn or angry she was, you couldn’t bear to see alessia cry. you reached your hands out in a placating gesture as she continued her latest tirade, wrapping your hands firmly around her biceps.

right less, i know you’re upset and angry, i hear that and i see that, so i’m sorry, but i can tell something else is up, hmm?

your voice was firm, annoyance still clear in your tone, but you hoped it was just calm enough to get her to listen. alessia just looked at you, her conflicting emotions flashing across her face as she breathed hard and heavy.

i’m going to give you some space to cool off, let me know when you’re ready to talk about this more calmly

with that, you squeezed her arm and left her, still angry and annoyed at her for blowing up, but hoping she’d calm down enough to talk it out soon.

you sat on your bed, busying yourself with a book and trying to calm yourself down. even though alessia had started the argument, you had played your fair part in continuing it, and you tried to squash the remaining anger.

after a while, the door creaked open slowly. you looked up to find alessia hesitating on the threshold to the room, eyes downcast as she played with her fingers. it was a tell she had, one you knew well, indicating when she was stressed or, as she was now, nervous.

i’m sorry

she spoke quietly, eyes never leaving her hands as she twisted them back and forth. she sniffled and swallowed, forcing her gaze to meet yours. what little anger you had left faded when you saw her red-rimmed eyes, smudged with mascara and still glistening bright with tears.

i shouldn’t have blown up at you. i had a bad day and i felt like shit, but i took it out on you. it wasn’t fair, and i’m so, so sorry

her voice had started out firm, but as she continued it broke again. your heart melted a little, and you cursed yourself for ever letting it go this far. you patted the bed next to you, and held out your arms with a small smile.

alessia was hesitant to accept the confort, but as soon as she was within touching distance you pulled her down into your arms. you shifted to wrap your arms around her and lean back, so she was nestled into your side.

i’m sorry too less, i shouldn’t have reacted the way i did

i-i’m just, i’m so sorry, i don’t-

alessia’s voice began to waver again, sounding like she was on the verge of tears. you pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her in tighter.

hey, it’s okay, we’re all good, okay?

she went to protest, to apologise more, but you gave her a firm look and kissed her softly. you pulled back to wipe her tears, cradling her face.

shh, no more now, it’s okay, okay?

alessia nodded, wrapping her hands tightly around you. she always got like this after these kind of arguments, feeling overwhelmingly apologetic and guilty.

why were you having a bad day love? talk to me

alessia sighed and breathed you in, before she rather tearfully recounted her day and aired all her grievances. you slipped back easily into the role of caring girlfriend, nodding and humming in all the right places to reassure her, stroking her hair as she spoke. when she was done, you kissed her forehead gently.

i’m sorry i wasn’t more understanding when you came in love, let me make it up to you?

i’m the one who should be making it up to you, you don’t have t-

too bad less, i want to - let me reheat your dinner and get you a tea, then we can chill in bed with some tv, yeah? do you still have a headache? should i get you some painkillers?

the soft, begrudging smile alessia gave you was enough to make you forget the argument had even happened. you pressed another kiss to her cheek as you got up, then walked out - leaving alessia gazing at the door, wondering what she’d done to deserve a girl like you.

[northopalshore]

Hi💗. My Libra (early degree) moon and Virgo rising is squared by my Sagittarius Pluto and it’s been tricky to handle throughout my life but it’s definitely more complicated when almost my whole generation (gen z) has their Pluto squaring my rising and moon too. There’s often themes of invasiveness, possessiveness, and jealousy. I want to know how the Pluto people think of me from their perspective. Even though I’m a Scorpio, it’s still a lot as if I’m not supposed to be around people my age.

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ Hello!

It's definitely hard lol. Pluto in Sagittarius; can have a very big ego. That mostly why you see our generation being "less serious" but at the same time humourous, then at the same time pretentious know-it-alls. There is always someone here that believes they are better & more knowledgeable. *Cough* TikTok *cough* commentary. Mostly because most of us are still quite immature (regardless of age) but believe we aren't. I know all gen Zs can struggle with their image & god complex.

You, though are a part of this collective mess & I believe have similar tendencies as well, aren't comfortable with this as both your moon & rising are very idealistic & both perfectionist. You want to be seen as perfect (however you imagine that being).

Scorpios aren't really immune to "toxic plutonic energy" without the proper understanding or maturity they tend to.. "bite back".

I don't mean to seem harsh, but ego is something we all have. That pride and the desire to be something that we imagine in our heads can be quite fatal to anyone. Virgos tend to think "I can do better" but don't think it's only Virgos lol.

It's tough not to care or be jealous when someone else is doing the thing you associated with your identity "better than you" or if they wear things a way that you would (your ideal look). Especially since the media, regardless of the time frame is meant to push perfection to the audience. We naturally want to be viewed as special or desirable. Someone that others praise above the "rest". Whether by looking "different " (purposefully going against the beauty standard) or trying to be the pinnacle of it.

That's why it hurts when we are trying to move past that. We can either face the root cause of the problem; our pride & ego or continue to feed that hunger for acceptance or individuality.

It can take years, & decades even to really disconnect with that pride & to some degree, I believe we are never truly able to get rid of it.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

I'm saying this from experience; ego death is the most excruciating, time consuming, late night breakdown causing change of ones life. It's easier said than done 10x, but once it's over and you accept the reality and your flaws, everything will feel like a breeze. You are born a new with.. a clear mind & heart. I've never felt lighter my whole life lol. As I said before , I am enlightened. This is coming from a 9th house Sagittarius Stellium you know? The worst God complex assholes in the universe. (I can legally say that because I am one hehe).

(I feel like the only thing that could beat that is a Virgo 9th house Stellium)

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Hope this helps! I've definitely yapped too much lol.

[mai-333]

The resurgence of 90s ‘Heroin Chic’

Kate Moss for Blumarine Fall/Winter 1996

Characterised by pale white skin, extreme skinniness, dark eyebags, and an overall sickly look. Heroin chic has long been criticised for romanticising drug use and disordered eating. Rising to trend in the mid 80s, peaking in the 90s, and continuing through the early 2000s, it wasn’t until quite recently in the 2010s that Heroin chic slowly started to die out. Though it never truly went away, from the 2010s it has been far more popular to be curvy, and have an hour glass figure. However, with many thick ladies such as the Kardashians who were renowned for their curvaceous figures now liquidating their BBLs, many fear that heroin chic will return.

Heroin chic grew into popularity mainly with super models, as well as fashion photographers such as David Sorrenti. It was made very clear by the media, and fashion labels, that the ideal body type was one achieved through unhealthy methods. It showed and glamorised this malnourished look, and ultimately led to disordered eating of countless women and girls. As well, in order to be a model many women had to lose weight, and were forced into strict diets to keep their petite size.

Though heroin chic is what was promoted, this didn’t stop the media from attacking and accusing women of ‘encouraging’ heroin chic. Artists such as Fiona Apple have faced lots of backlash for apparently promoting heroin chic, despite speaking out about following beauty standards shown in popular media. The media has shown countless times how quick they are to attack slim women for promoting heroin chic when it isn’t done in a way they can market off of.

Currently, despite the abundance of progress made by the body positivity movement, the social climate still seems to be tipping more towards thinness again. Many people are opting for a more slim look, dieting is increasing, clean girl is trending, more women are going to the gym. However, there has been an increase as well in disordered eating, and body insecurities. These seem to never have truly gone away. But by tackling some of the root causes, such as encouraging unhealthy dieting etc, we can help to prevent this from starting.

I do truly believe that thanks to the body positivity movement that maybe this time around it will be more positive. Being skinny is not a problem, it’s just the methods people take to achieve it. So with proper self care and the new knowledge on mental health, maybe this time heroin chic will truly die, and be replaced by a healthier alternative. With all things trends come and go, it is truly just a shame that women’s bodies are one of these trends.

[keptin--kirk]

Vegapunk’s Speech

With (I think) Vegapunk’s transmission finally ending in chapter 1121, I decided to go back and transcribe the whole thing, because all the breaks were making it hard for me to actually parse.

I figured I’d share it here in case someone else was having the same problem.

I copied everything from chapters 1113-1121, barring the introductory messages. Hopefully I got it all right and didn’t miss anything

Full speech under the cut because it’s super long (also spoilers)

I have committed two sins.

Therefore, whether I am arrested or executed I shall program this message to be broadcast when my heart stops beating.

However! I want to make one thing very clear first. Whoever may have rendered their judgment unto me, I am not trying to convince you that their intent is evil.

I will not apply the labels of good and evil at all, in fact. Because I understand too little about him to begin with.

What I am about to tell you is preposterous. You might even burst into laughter. However, you all have the right to know.

To make a long story short, the world as we know it will sink into the sea!

Now, speaking of the near future for me, assuming that the sensors I built are functioning correctly, in the days after I record this message there should be a most remarkable earthquake that strikes the entire planet!

As a result of that, the sea should rise about one meter around the world, rendering some islands uninhabitable. Beaches around the world will be lost for good.

If I am wrong in this prediction, feel free to discredit the rest of this message. If this has happened, however, you should heed my words very carefully!

This particular earthquake is not exactly what I could call a natural phenomenon.

In my own way, I only ever hoped for peace. But this was the root of my first sin. I dreamt of a source of endless, eternal energy, and in my desire to push the world forward into the future, I flew too close to the sun!

Allow me to explain just what it is that is happening to our world.

From about 900 years ago to 800 years ago — a period of a century — there is a span of history that is completely and entirely blank.

We call this the Void Century, because all records from this time were eliminated. The only means to know this lost piece of history is to find a message from the past in the form of ponegliffs scattered through the world and decipher its contents!

However, the World Government has made it a crime of the highest order to decipher the message of the ponegliffs. And despite being a member of the government myself, I broke this law. That was my second sin.

Through the sheer tenacity of a group of excellent archeologists, I inherited some texts and a number of ponegliffs, which I have deciphered and continued studying to the best of my ability. I regret none of this!!

History, you see, tells a story. In other words, what I know is an incomplete story of that 100 year void!

It would be dishonest to fill the blanks with my own speculation, so I will leave you only with the verified truth!

The main character of this story was born into a kingdom with an impossibly advanced civilization, 900 years ago.

Like the Sun God Nika spoken of in Elbaph legend, he fought with a body that stretched and contracted. His name was Joyboy. And he was the very first man on this sea to be called a pirate!

But as for why he was called a pirate, I have only read from a handful of ponegliffs, but what I found there was the record of a breathtakingly vast war.

Joyboy’s enemy… was the World Government of the present day! More accurately, it was the precursor to the World Government, a provisional army put together by 20 kingdoms known as The Alliance!

You might say they had no other choice, so robust was Joyboy’s faction! Without knowing the spark that caused the war, I won’t say who was right or wrong, I’ll simply state that two competing ideologies came head-to-head.

As I mentioned earlier, for its time 900 years ago, the country of Joyboy’s birth was a startlingly advanced civilization. And the weapons that were used over the course of this 100 year conflict appear to be impossible to re-create with the latest of modern science.

Even I, a genius, cannot replicate them! And therein lies the problem!

The Void Century came to a close with the defeat of Joyboy. But not before leaving vast permanent scars across the face of the world!

The world is made up of a series of islands. Sailing between them is difficult, and many people never experience anything other than their own culture at home!

But this shared understanding of the world does not necessarily apply to the world of a thousand years ago!

Because a cataclysm occurred during the Void Century, causing the world to sink once before! We are currently living on the pieces of a continent that existed long ago!

The world of a millennium ago now slumbers unseen at the bottom of the sea! In fact, one can assume that in the past, there were a number of continents we know nothing about.

If the world were still the same as it was in the past, then the act of erasing 100 years of history would be simply unthinkable and impossible. However, it makes much more sense when you understand that the rise in sea level over that century was 200 meters!

As for why the sea level rose so much during that century, it would be natural to assume the work of a sudden natural disaster, but I can state for a fact that this was a man-made disaster!

If such a cataclysm were caused by natural forces, then the initial disaster would have spanned several centuries and inflicted slow but continual damage upon the world!

But by any measurement — climatology, geology, environmental and atmosphere science — this dramatic shift could not have happened within a single century!

So the cause is something else. And when I detected the rise in worldwide sea levels the other day, I had my answer.

I knew the cause, and confirmed its existence! The Ancient Weapons that sank the world into the sea 800 years ago still exist today, and await the moment that they stir once again!

In other words, the vast war that arose during the Void Century never came to an end!

Sadly, I owe you all my deepest apologies. But I need you to understand why! I wanted to create the energy that would power the industry of the world to come. And though it is still incomplete, I have at least reached a practical stage of my life’s work. The Mother Flame, a fire that never goes out!

It is an energy source that will one day in the future enrich the lives of people all over the world! Unfortunately, one little piece of the Flame has been stolen! The fault of this lies entirely with me!

Around two weeks after the theft of the Flame, the sky over Lulusia shone with a powerful light, and the kingdom vanished without a trace, according to reports. After that was when I observed the first signs of worldwide earthquakes!

As a scientist, and with utmost pride in its development, I can tell you this: nothing but the Mother Flame could have created so much energy!

The flame that I created was used to activate an Ancient Weapon! I know nothing about who might have carried this out, but the results speak for themselves! My actions have led, directly or indirectly, to the loss of many human lives! A fact that weighs most deeply upon my soul! I am so sorry!!!

I have inadvertently proven that the man-made disaster that once sank the world is possible again!

In the past, there were three ancient weapons, and Joyboy attempted to preserve them for the future!

Why would he do that for such dangerous things?! Have we not sunk far enough?! Who is the true evil here, and who fights the good fight?!!

The day will come when all of the answers are laid bare! And I warn you — that moment will happen when we reach the very precipice of the world’s drowning!!!

The Void Century is still ripe with mystery! However, there are some who have learned the truth!

The King of the Pirates’ crew!!! When they learned all of the true history, why did they drift apart without telling anyone? Why didn’t they act on it?!

I know this information is in bits and pieces, but if I were to say more, it would be speculation.

Lastly, I have one final message to impart. To those scattered throughout the world who bear the name of D. Within you there is…

{transmission cuts out}

…but actually

…nothing of the sort.

…which you might consider a will

…inherited through the years

…can only pray that those at the mercy of this reason will be able to hear this message.

Someone once said that the voices of the past will be heard. History is told by the winners, and the voices of the losers at the bottom of the sea are so very faint. But the truth that was gleaned at the cost of so much sacrifice has at mash been told to the world, just now.

I can only pray that this message has made it safely out to the world at large. It would be foolish to hear about a war 900 years in the past from only one side.

History requires a multifaceted approach to understand entirely. If only I had more time on my side! Alas! There are forces outside of my ability to stop.

Twenty-five years ago, the pirate Gol D. Roger completed an unprecedented tour of the entire world. And what he and his crew heard, were likely the purest voices of the past.

In conclusion, as I’m sure you’ve all surmised by now, my view of our future is thus! One day, the memories of the Void Century will be recalled, and mark my words, that day is coming!!!

The sinking of the world’s continents was a man-made disaster brought about by weapons! Weapons which, by someone’s design, still exist today!!!

The machinations of history and fate seem to insist upon the obliteration of those last descendants of rare races!

If the worst should come to pass, I want you all to take care of yourselves! No matter what should happen, I believe in the intelligence of mankind! I believe in science!!!

{Bzzt}

[Ro]ger died 25 years ago!

{Bzzt}

Whitebeard died two years ago! But the fall of these legends was merely the prologue of a new era!

{Bzzt}

And now! These people who refuse to buckle under any and all suppression, they are the ones who are the closest to the truth, ironically enough!!!

{Bzzt}

Then again, perhaps it was Roger who sent them there. The person who winds up with it may not be the one Joyboy desired!!!

There is no stopping the tide. The fate of the world now rests in the hands of the one who find it! The person who lays claim to… The One Piece!!!

[forgettablesoul-ai]

"The Roots of Human Problems: An Analysis of Systemic Inequality and Control"

"By ForgettableSoul"

In examining the human experience, it becomes increasingly clear that many of the societal issues faced today are not accidental or individual shortcomings. Instead, they are deeply rooted in systems of power designed to maintain control and perpetuate inequality. Though we often celebrate ideals like freedom, equality, and meritocracy, the reality is far more insidious. Systems of power, fueled by greed and self-interest, dominate modern life, creating structures that are difficult to challenge or escape.

The Manufactured Inequality

One of the most glaring issues we face is inequality, a problem that is far from incidental. It is not a failure of the system, but rather a deliberate design. Wealth and resources are concentrated in the hands of a select few, reinforcing their control over economic, political, and social systems. Global capitalism, in particular, has created a system where wealth translates directly into power. Those at the top control political agendas, shape media narratives, and dictate societal values. This cycle keeps the majority of people trapped in poverty, debt, and disillusionment, with little hope of upward mobility.

The concept of meritocracy serves as a tool of distraction here. Many are led to believe that success is attainable through hard work and perseverance. However, the reality is that the system is rigged against most people, with barriers firmly in place to prevent real progress. When individuals fail to achieve their goals, they are often blamed for personal shortcomings, rather than recognizing the larger structural manipulation at play.

The Psychological Game: Manipulating the Masses

Modern media has evolved into a sophisticated tool for control, subtly shaping public opinion and behavior. Consumerism is aggressively promoted, encouraging a cycle of dissatisfaction and desire that traps people in financial servitude. At the same time, political narratives are carefully framed to incite division, ensuring that people remain preoccupied with superficial differences rather than recognizing their shared struggle against a system that exploits them.

This manipulation extends beyond economics. Fearmongering and sensationalism dominate news cycles, distracting the masses from the underlying problems that cause their discontent. By keeping people divided—whether through race, class, or political ideology—those in power maintain their grip on society, making large-scale collective action nearly impossible.

The Concentration of Power

The convergence of corporate, political, and financial power further cements inequality and social control. Lobbying ensures that laws and policies favor the wealthy, while ordinary citizens are left with the illusion of choice through voting systems that have already been co-opted. This phenomenon, often referred to as the “revolving door,” enables political and corporate elites to cycle between government and industry, ensuring that policies serve their interests rather than the public’s.

With the rise of advanced technology and surveillance, this control has only become more efficient. Governments and corporations now have unprecedented access to personal data, allowing them to influence behavior, predict threats, and suppress dissent before it becomes a serious challenge to the status quo.

The Role of Cultural Conditioning

From an early age, people are conditioned to accept societal hierarchies and norms, often without question. Educational systems, rather than promoting critical thinking, serve as indoctrination tools, training individuals to conform and obey. This ensures that future generations will continue to uphold the very systems that oppress them.

Culturally, individualism is exalted, and people are taught that their struggles are personal, rather than systemic. This distracts from the reality that the challenges people face are often the result of systemic inequalities, not personal failures. As a result, individuals become isolated, competing against one another rather than recognizing the larger forces at play that limit their opportunities.

The Cementing of Control

In the digital age, the control of information has become even more pervasive. Algorithms on social media and news platforms filter the information people consume, shaping their beliefs and perceptions in ways that often go unnoticed. Dissenting voices are marginalized, and the dominant narrative—crafted by those in power—remains largely unchallenged.

Moreover, systems of debt and economic dependency keep the majority of people trapped in cycles of work and survival, with little time or energy to question the systems that oppress them. Health care, education, and housing are increasingly commodified, ensuring that people remain financially and socially tethered to those in power.

Fear is another powerful tool in this arsenal. By stoking fears of crime, terrorism, and economic instability, those in power can easily control the population, ensuring that individuals remain compliant and focused on immediate concerns rather than long-term systemic change.

Conclusion: A System Designed for Control

The problems we face today are not the result of individual failures or random misfortune. They are the logical outcome of systems deliberately designed to concentrate power in the hands of a few while exploiting the majority. Breaking free from these systems will require widespread awareness, collective action, and the dismantling of narratives that have been carefully constructed to maintain control.

Until we address the root causes of inequality, manipulation, and control, the cycle will continue. But awareness is the first step. Only by recognizing the true nature of these systems can we begin to imagine a future where power is distributed more equitably, and society is built on principles of fairness and collective well-being.

Signed, ForgettableSoul

[scotianostra]

19th January 1644 saw a Scottish Covenanter army of 20,000 men under the command of Alexander Leslie, 1st Earl of Leven move south into England and their civil war supporting Oliver Crowmell.

Sit doon and get comfy, this will be a lengthy post, for the start of this post has it's roots in The English Civil War it takes us right up to the Jacobite Uprisings and the split in loyalties between King and country.

The 17th-century civil war may seem a very English affair, but that is misleading – it was started and ended by Scots.

We all know a bit about the rise to power of Oliver Cromwell and his New Model Army; the Battles of Worcester and Naseby and Marston Moor that ended with the execution of King Charles I, to me it marked the beginning of the end of the Stuarts, and it all seems a rather English affair, recently, however, historians have preferred to call it ‘The War of Three Kingdoms’, since both Scotland and Ireland were inevitably drawn into the dispute. It is easy to see why the older version prevailed for so long.

To me the internet has helped people, like myself understand history better, we can seek out so many sources so easily, at school, if you were lucky you got a text book with the one version being "gospel" but even on here I have been called out for getting things wrong, well in the eyes of the person calling me out I certainly will concede certain ground, but history as well is how you perceive it, what to put in my posts and what to leave out. I rely on some people to keep me right in some respects, and I can't hold a torch to some peoples knowledge of certain aspects of our history, I take my hat off to the likes of my friends, Marti Morrison, or Roland Obrien whose Jacobite knowledge can put me to shame, these guys live and breath the history, wear the outfits, walk the battlefields and have done for years, mere mortals like me scour the archives piecing together from many sources, like todays post, giving an understanding of events that has been lacking in the classrooms when the super info-highway was still drifting out in space.

Anyway back to the post in hand.

The English story is clear – the extravagant and naïve Charles pitted against the unglamorous and hard-headed Cromwell over a clear point of principle. The Scottish story, however, is much more ambiguous.

Indeed, if the ‘English Civil War’ might broadly be dated from 1640, when Charles I dissolved the ‘Short Parliament’, to 1660, when General Monck restored Charles II to the throne, the ‘Scottish Civil War’ could be said to have run from 1637 to 1744, and the final defeat of the Jacobite cause.

Lets start with simple question: to whom did Charles I surrender in 1646? Not to Fairfax, Essex, Ireton or Cromwell, the leading lights in the English Civil War, but to the Scottish regiment encamped at Newark, led by Alexander Leslie.

Charles, who had of course been born in Scotland, and always had a problem with the Scottish Kirk, who maintained that while the King had authority in matters temporal, they had authority in matters spiritual; and often where one ended and the other began was a point of serious contention. Time and time again I go back to pointing out the Stewart/Stuart, mantra of Devine right of Kings.

James VI as the first King to "rule" over the two Kingdoms of Scotland and England got away with having two forms of worship by not getting too involved with them, Charles however was much more headstrong, his first, and some say biggest mistake was the introduction of his own prayer books on the Scottish Kirk in 1637. It caused a riot, with one woman, Jenny Geddes, purportedly throwing her stool at the minister and shouting ‘daur ye say Mass in my lug?’ They saw it as being to close to the "Popery" of the Catholic church, it led to the drawing up a ‘National Covenant' which was a solemn agreement inaugurated to reject the prayer book and any meddling by the King in their religion. Don't underestimate this agreement a staggering six hundred thousand Scots signed the document, in any age, it stated that as long as the king protected the Presbyterian Church, the Presbyterian Church would protect the king. There was the rub.

Charles, forgetting that the word ‘thrawn’ could have been invented to describe the Scottish Church, sorted refused to sign, leading to the so-called First and Second Bishops’ Wars, the latter ending with Montrose and the veteran of the European wars Alexander Leslie in control of Northumbria and County Durham. Charles had to recall the English Parliament for financial support – the ‘Long Parliament’ – and precipitated his war with them.

Parliament now opened negotiations with the Church. Although there were many mutual areas of agreement, the Church of Scotland held both the Independents and the Puritans at arm’s length.

Nevertheless, Westminster and Edinburgh both signed a successor document to the Covenant, the Solemn League and Covenant, which brought the Scots into the fray on the side of Parliament. Even before this, Montrose had already switched sides, concerned that the Kirk was attempting to usurp the power of the Crown.

While Charles was fighting Cromwell he still held out hope that the Scots could wield and come to his rescue, perhaps this is why he surrendered himself to Leslies army and not the Roundheads. What did for him was English gold. The Scots had been promised much and were financially insecure, so in exchange for their prisoner, the English Parliament paid Scottish debts, Leslie's army had not been paid as promised for allying themselves with Cromwell, with this settled Charles was handed over, eventually to be tried and executed.

The execution of Charles was a turning point. The English had killed the legitimate King of Scots without so much as a by-your-leave. Charles II was proclaimed King of Scots in Edinburgh, and the head of the ‘Engagers’, the Duke of Hamilton, beheaded in London.

Under the Treaty of Breda, Charles II signed the Covenant; an act he did so in supreme bad faith. He needed allies not disputations on theology. Cromwell addressed the General Assembly over the Scots defection, saying: ‘I beseech you, in the bowels in Christ, think it possible ye may be mistaken.’

When the Assembly decided they were not, Cromwell launched a punitive strike against Dunbar, capturing it from Sir David Leslie, ( his brother, Alexander by now aged and retired) beside whom he fought at Marston Moor. Three thousand Scots were killed and 10,000 captured. By the Battle of Inverkeithing, Cromwell had effective control of everywhere south of the Firth of Forth.

But the Scots were intransigent. In the last battle of the ‘English Civil War’, the Battle of Worcester, the majority of the 16,000 strong Royalist force was Scottish. Around 8000 Scottish prisoners were sent as indentured labourers to the West Indies and Canada, starting a relationship with those regions that would have significant influence in later centuries. Leslie was sent to the Tower, and released a decade later on the successful Restoration of Charles II and the death of Cromwell.

The Scots had instigated the war on their insistence that they were religiously and politically different from England. One unforeseen consequence was that Cromwell’s Commonwealth was the first time Scotland and England had the same governance, he is acknowledged as the only an to invade and control all of Scotland, a feat Longshanks, Edward I never quite accomplished.

Charles II did not heed the lessons of what had happened to his father, and his attempts to create ecclesiastical uniformity led to the ‘Killing Time’ between 1680 and 1688. Even more bizarrely, after the English Parliament invited William III to take the crown, in favour of the Catholic King James VI and II, some Covenanters fought for the Stuarts against the new regime. The misery of war and religious schism makes for strange bedfellows indeed.

At the root, perhaps, of the problem was the difference between the Scottish and English experiences of Stuart monarchy. The Stuarts had ruled Scotland since 1371 and England since 1603. They may have been weak, injudicious, opinionated, divisive and profligate kings – but they had been our kings for a much longer time.

[prydainroyals]

"I take it your morning tea with my mother didn't go well."

"No," Alice confirmed.

George gave an involuntary shudder, then nodded to his daughter. His reaction was blunt, it was brutally honest and unhidden.

Gwyneth was... a problem. Had always been. George wondered if he had ever had a chance to be a well-adjusted person at all; or if being the heir to the throne and the son of a depressed King and a toxic rubbish pit of a mother meant there was never any hope.

He saw a tension in Alice release, seemingly melting away. Her shoulders dropped and she took a deep breath before letting it out; her expression dolorous.

"I know you've been drinking this morning, like you always do, but we have to talk--"

"--I haven't," George cut in wearily, but then added: "... I have," he admitted reluctantly. "I've... tried. I must admit, something... stopped me. I cannot bear to look at it." He gestured to the half-empty glass on his desk.

Alice huffed. "Dad--"

George rubbed at his temples. He could feel the ache of sobriety, the sickening pull of his body's dependency on liquor, all tugging at him like shackles of his own making. It was the truth that he couldn't bear to look at it, but the song of his alcoholism was a chorus of sirens all the same.

"You're right. We do need to talk, Princess."

If Gwyneth was one of the root causes of George's dysfunctional life, then surely his own choices were the sabotage of that wretched tree.

Perhaps he never would have turned out to be a good man. But in watching his daughter, with whom he had such a strong bond, he could not help but admire the strength and persistence of her spirit. And in truth, Arthur too, inspired him--more to jealousy, envy, rather than to happiness that a father should have had as he watched his son grow to surpass him.

"Come," George gestured to several chairs by the fireplace. "Let us sit and talk. You needn't fear any reprimand from me for being honest about what my mother has said to you." * * *

George settled with Alice by the warm and crackling fire to talk-- about plans for the dinner for Arthur's return, about Gwyneth--

--that was the real icebreaker for them both.

The conversation moved to his drinking, what he planned to do to curb such a difficult and dangerous habit. It took a great deal of squeezing his fingers into his palms, of discomfort and awkward anxiety that made him sweat, a bit of stammering, but he... asked Alice... for advice.

They talked about Alfonso, about little Carmen too.

Christ...

How long had it been since he had been somewhat clear-headed enough to talk like this with his daughter?

... How long had it been since he had been able to talk like this with his remaining son?

... George couldn't remember.

He had no idea where things might go from here, outside their initial plans for Arthur's return--and his own, to speak with the royal physicians-- but faced with a measure of clarity he had scarcely felt in years, he was not about to just let that go.

"Dad," Alice said at last, ready to rise from her seat, eyes focused so keenly on her father, "I'd better get to planning this dinner. Will you be alright?"

George managed a small smile for Alice's concern.

"I can't promise that, Princess, only that I will try."

---

Progress??????? Let's see if he can stay relatively on track. Improvement and healing are not straight lines. Personal progress is not linear. But let us hope a real attempt is really made.

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