#*crying* and who knows what is up with bat other than their vibes

[akkivee]

despite not quite sharing the same pink-gold-dark palette that otome and ichijiku’s speakers have, i think it’s kiiiiinda crazy kuukou and jyushi’s speakers match theirs in style better than nemu’s lol

[anxietycheesecake]

I'm sorry that you're being attacked and blocked for having valid criticisms. It's really weird to be new to this fandom and watch it go from a fairly positive space to fans being as nasty to each other as Star Wars fans in such a short period of time, especially when the crumbs people are cobbling together and calling a canonized ship is what we scrape for in other fandoms with ships we know will never be canon and we KNOW we're stretching the material we're given. I love my queerplatonic ships, found families, and platonic soulmates. I can absolutely enjoy Nandermo through that lens, but the gaslighting and mental gymnastics here is raising such a fucking eyebrow and you don't deserve to feel like you've done something wrong for recognizing it.

Being allosexual or alloromantic is as valid as being asexual or aromatic and it's actually so fucking unchill to conflate being gay or pan with being ace or aro just because they are all under the queer umbrella.

Ace =/= celibate, but half this fandom thinks Guillermo is a virgin and I can't help but think that's being bundled into the hot takes that are coming out right now when it's canon that he's uncomfortable due to being in the closet and his Catholic upbringing. Yes, he could be ace, but that means at best were batting 1/4 for aroace Nandermo.

Nandor has sex with Gail onscreen and is very clearly not ace. The vampires would have MINIMALLY mentioned Guillermo being a virgin and wouldn't have eagerly asked about his sex life in Atlantic City if they thought he was one and they practically have radar for it. He was panicking over Jeremy being a virgin and having brought him into the house and the only thing that saved the guy was losing his virginity. Nandor and Guillermo are both romantic in romantic relationships, and both are expressive about it and tell others they love them.

When you speedrun the entire series and the notable interviews with fresh eyes and not over a stretch of years the leap between 'My Nan- Master' vs. best friends, cuddling a Nandor puppet at night, the I'll make you a vampire speech vs. the vibe in the warrior speech is SO visible and it fits perfectly with Simms' public discomfort with fans shipping Nandor and Guillermo. He is openly uncomfortable with them being in a romantic relationship or having sex with each other and uses every homophobic gaslighting tactic in the playback when speaking about it.

“No, I do think there’s a small subset of very vocal people on Twitter who are like ‘We want to see Nandor and Guillermo hook up,’ and we’re always like, I think their love is bigger and more profound than that,” Simms said. “And also do you really want to see that? Do you?”

This is literally how straight people talk when they're uncomfortable with queer shit. What haven't we seen in this show other than that? Is Nadja and Laszlo's love lesser for it?

“Times that we’ve talked about it and explored it, the power dynamics seem so problematic,” Simms continued. “I mean, that’s his boss.”

In a show where the main couple started with nonconsensual sex (it's still noncon if it turns out that they could have had sex without hypnosis) and Laszlo fucks Colin Robinson after raising him for a gag. Sure, keep telling yourselves that the power dynamic is what makes Simms uncomfortable.

"I mean, it's a nice thought, for some...I don't know about these guys" Kayvan says as he nods toward Simms.

I've seen the Harvey interviews and talking heads from earlier seasons on the subject of Nandermo. The 2024 panel couldn't have been more different, and Harvey seemed completely subdued when the others were discussing Nandermo fanart and them being a ship.

This isn't a person who deserves applause for queer representation and it seems toxic af that Harvey has been stuck in a workplace where he has to hear this drivel when he's openly gay. Yes, I am side eyeing the fuck out of this and it's not because I'm crying over wanting my blorbos to smooch.

You can actually have a romantic pair not kiss or fuck or say I love you without pulling a very clear 'no homo.' That would have been totally fine, but they didn't do that. Copy and paste that scene into anything starring Andy Samberg, or literally anything bro centric and tell me it's a romantic love confession. Or rather, try taking it off tumblr and see if anybody thinks it isn't deep platonic male friendship.

It's okay for people to be upset when they've been hoodwinked. It's okay to separate fanon from canon and still enjoy your ships. But ffs stop gaslighting each other and saying non-romance is romance or that non-romance has more worth than romance and that people are shallow for not valuing it when that's not the problem people have with this, and when that isn't the bill of good audiences we're sold in earlier seasons.

The call is coming from inside the house it shouldn't be.

(Also SO sorry for how long this was).

Never apologize for articulating this better than I ever could. I'm too lazy to look for all the recipes I know are out there, so most of the shit I say is like "source: trust me bro"; I'm glad someone else did it.

The aspec thing makes me so mad because, as a writer, I'm always going out of my way to properly and respectfully represent aspec folks. Like, I've got two novels starring an ace woman and an aromantic man. Do I deserve a medal for that? Of course not! It should be normal. But it's kind of infuriating that people are willing to give aspec rep credit to a show just because it made two male characters stay platonic after teasing their relationship for years and call me aphobic for pointing out that's not the case.

[sehtoast]

Rebirth (Homelander x OC)

18+ | heavy descriptions of gore, s4 e4 spoilers, the bad room, mentions of sexual abuse/trauma, torture, they're making each other worse in this one actually and homie deserves that kind of ride or die vibe | Fic Directory

“So, how do you feel?”  

Such a simple question for such a… gruesome task.  Benjamin had gone with Homelander to his moment of reconciliation.  Even helped him pipe sloppy icing writing onto that ugly little Carvel cake.

He knew everything.  Long ago, after busting into Stan Edgar’s personal terminal, Ben found the tapes and files on Homelander’s childhood.  Watching them had been sickening at best, but hearing the personal account as described to him by his lover over the years?

Even the do-no-harm bug himself couldn’t find a reason to prevent Homelander from following through.  He’d found John crying in front of that shattered mirror and pulled him out of his stupor once the banter ended.  Benjamin held him on the couch as he sobbed as he often did after run ins with the different facets of his psyche.  Used to be that there was no one to hold him at all, but the bug changed that.

Homelander would crash, but he would have somewhere safe to burn.

He thought about John’s various accounts of his childhood on the flight to the compound.  The incinerator, the bad room, how on edge he always was under the all seeing eye of big brother.

Usually the violent details emerged after nightmares.  Babbled words and cries for mercy as he tossed and turned until he’d shoot up in bed with his eyes primed to protect himself from his own memories.  Benjamin always held him afterward and listened.

“Sometimes I can still feel it,”  John would say, eyes glassy as he’d fight to keep those little shakes from turning into sobs.  No signs of weakness, no reaction.  Part of his conditioning– he cannot let the world know it hurts.  He cannot be a disappointment.

Ben would all but beg him to let it free anyway.  “You don’t have to be strong with me, pumpkin,”  he would always whisper.  “I love you even when you’re not.  Promise.” 

“But I– I have to be,”  Homelander would reply.

Benjamin always asked why.

John could never give an answer.

The worst were the more… intimate details.  Benjamin knew less about these, but there’d always been a sneaking suspicion that things along the lines of that happened.

Homelander spilled the beans after a panic attack during foreplay.  Stuttered out the details of masturbating during the security guard’s breaks. Doing what young boys do, he’d said.  Failing to finish in time and finding himself subject to mockery day in and out.

The resulting body image and self confidence issues, and the occasional difficulty with performance were all the consequence of some jackass further torturing the boy who never had a safe moment to feel what he described as the only good he could find in that awful room.  

Each time, Ben held him.  Promised him he was safe.  There’s no judgment, no mockery, no humiliation, and certainly no name-calling.  With kisses pressed to John’s knuckles, the two would talk it out until the world became steady again.

It’s why Benjamin doesn’t mind watching John laser that piece of shit’s dick clean off.  He doesn’t bat an eye to any of it.  The torture they face is but a fraction of what they’d done to that little boy– a drop in the lake of the things they swear up and down they don’t recall.

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

After listening in on Barbara’s account of Homelander’s conditioned obedience and the nature of his birth, he finds he has no problem holding her steady as his love slaughters the rest of them before her eyes.  

Bit by bit, he dismembers them.  Split them in two and paints the room with their remains.  He laughs and laughs, grinning wide and proud as he pries a man’s jaw open until his neck splits just to rip the tongue from his gullet and chuck it at her face.  He doesn’t stop until they’re no more than unrecognizable piles of flesh and viscera. 

True to their perfected teamwork, Ben webs Barbara to the wall to feast her eyes upon Homelander’s good work, and John?

Well, lasering the door and melting it forever shut was ingenious.

She will die in there, nice and slow. It’s no less than she deserves.

It’s heartbreaking to see how little it did to soothe Homelander’s pain.  Revenge, as Benjamin had told him many times, never quite worked out the way people wanted it to.  It’s potent for as long as it takes for the elevator to reach the surface.  It simmers during the flight.  Fades by the time they touch down at the tower.

And then turns to deep, lurching sobs as they shower it all away.

Release, yes… but not enough.  

It could never be enough.

“Johnny–”

“Homelander,” he chokes through tears. He’d been correcting people all day about his name.  “I’m– I just–”

Ben shushes him softly, thumbs swiping away the odd gooeyness of blood and tears.

“H-Homelander… just–” he tries again.  “Just for now… please…” 

Because Homelander was safe.  Homelander had the strength to overcome.  Homelander was the ideal and the power to protect himself.

The arms around Ben’s abdomen pull him impossibly closer.

“Homelander,” Benjamin murmurs, still stroking softly at his love’s face.  “I love you.”

Maybe not the best thing to say to the man claiming to be casting off the shackles of love, but certainly something always worth reminding him of while he crumbles.  There’s a million promises behind those three little words.

I love you when it hurts.  I love you when it doesn’t.

When it is ugly.

When it is beautiful.

As long as it is you.

His love succumbs to more cries, but Homelander knows, deep down, that it’s okay.

He is safe.

He is loved.

There will be no mockery. No humiliation.

Here, in the arms of his little spider, he need not be strong.  Here, he may simply be.

[one-strugling-bean]

So.

I finished the 4th season (MAG #160)

......I'm unwell

(part 3 of my Magnus Archives experience)

Ahhhhh where do i even start???? Ok, ok I think I'll start with the lesser things

First off, right off the bat, RIP Tim. More than ever, now I know he didn't have to die and I am so so sad he did..... Flirty boi deserved so much better u^u

Martin collected many moments of badassery throughout the 3rd and 4th seasons. Im so proud of his growth. Not him burning statements and snipping back at Elias - ahhhhhh he was so coooool, I wish someone else was there so that they could tell him! And when he made Fairchild sit back down to finish answering Martin's questions, I swear I got chills!!

Anyway. I continue being a fierce Martin fan, nothing new there

What is new is my newfound adoration for Daisy. Seriously. She's my baby now. Idc what happens or who dies, she needs to end this story okay :'))))

No, im 200% serious, if Daisy doesn't survive to the end, im def going to cry. Because i can totally see her being the "sacrifice herself so that everyone else will have a chance" type.

I swear she was the only one holding the brain cell power this season –  and FINALLY, someone who's not Martin is not being a bitch to Jon!!!

I wasn’t even expecting Jon to be able to bring her back. Much less for them to become supportive avatar besties! I’m so glad the writer decided to take that turn with her. It’s really satisfying from a narrative standpoint to have Daisy of all people do a whole 180 on her standpoint with Jon.

Idk, i just really liked her this season. She deserves all the hugs. So she gets a meme :)

Basira, on the other hand, fell a bit for me, but i think that was kind of the point. She was fierce and stony and nearly zero compassionate, – very Gertrude-ish of her –  but after everything that’s happened, i can't really blame her :/

Im just here praying to everything that the cop ladies can get a modicum of a happy ending

And just so I round up the gang, im scared for Melanie... She is now blind and also has (had?) a monster as a therapist. And Georgie doesn't feel fear which makes them even less likely to sense danger if it comes for them. I hope they're able to push through whatever season 5 throws at them

Okay. So only Jon is lef now. What can i say about him tho?? I mean, i can say he's been going through it.

Like, I spent my whole time hearing this podcast lowkey making fun of him for collecting beatdowns from pretty much every character - AND IT TURNS OUT IT WASN’T EXACTLY JOKING MATTER AND WAS ACTUALLY PLOT RELEVANT??

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY AND WHY IS IT MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR VOICES ON MY PHONE??

I just feel so bad for Jon. The guy did not deserve all of this. He really was a lamb to the slaughter—a poor wet cat, an eternal damsel in distress, the Antichrist…?

That last statement from Elias/Jonah is so good tho. Like, objectively. I love it. Not only does it take the listener in a nice little trip down memory lane - nostalgia is always fun - but its also just. So evil.

They really gave us such a sweet start – Martin and Jon bunking together in a cabin in Scotland(?) seemingly happy and it's all "uwu, they sho cute, yada yada- and then BAM!! APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!"

(i could literally be here for hours coming up with titles for Jon. he makes it too easy.)

Elias though...... I was spoiled that he was Jonah Magnus halfway through season 2 or so, so the reveal wasn't a big deal for me. I wonder how shattering it was for listeners when it first dropped though... At least he upped his villainy cred this season. Suits him better than the "unbothered neutral/evil stand-by" vibe he gave before.

And one last character thing, I fell in love with Peter so quickly. His lines were all gold and his delivery even more so. He just had that unflappable vibe to him. Like he didnt have a care in the world.

Oh, and him and Elias totally had ex-wives who spent the last 10 years fighting about who gets what in the divorce energy.

No, i will not elaborate.

Uhhhhh yeah. I grew to appreciate Helen more and more every time they showed up. Simon Fairchild was surprisingly fun for an old man, Gerry deserved the freaking world (thank you so much Jon for burning that page) and i think that’s kinda it on my favorite “creatures and associates”

Im super excited for this last stretch. i wonder if TMA will stick the landing. I sure hope it does, and honestly trust it will.

Anywayyyyyy, off i go for those last 40 episodes. Wish me luck!

Finish testimony, or whatever

[wtf-a-psychoanalysis]

ULTRASONA REVEALED

Ultraman Stage, the ultraman on the other side of the ring of fire.

He's in Ultraman Rising Universe to justify some timer mechanics

Age: early 20s (younger than Ken by some years)

Height: 50 meters (Actually 45 meters just "hovers" all the time, abuses his flight privileges all the time.)

Named after signature move that moves both combatants 5-8 meters above ground level using a light/spacium barrier for 3 minutes leading to disorientation of the enemy and reduced ground damage. He's an ultra(?) hybrid who now defends the West Coast some time after Ken leaves for Japan. Turns out SoCal has perfect conditions to grow Kaiju. Discovered this power trying to fight a Gesura whilst walking home from karaoke.

He doesn't talk, relying on pantomiming, body language and dramatics to convey meaning. He doesn't like his voice bc he feels that it doesn't fit him. And it ensures everyone can understand since not every one speaks English or Spanish. Outside of fights he's quite reserved and stares. The only time he speaks is to activate Stage and signal Curtain Call

The noises he does makes are usually grunts, and mimicking his monster opponents.

He's very defensive and evasive when fighting mainly because he hates making a mess so he puts up barriers for minimal collateral damage. The "stage" is a last minute resort when he thinks someone is about to be squished. He also fights very meticulously inorder to avoid damaging surrounding buildings. This is also because he's not properly strong yet, poor diet and lack of training is a contributing factor to his lack of physical strength

If he's not feeling it he just shoos off a developing problem until it bites him in the ass.

Blue and silver body with gold accents invokes a night time vibe especially during the stage phase since looking from below the stage it looks like night.

Other than the basic spacium beams, razor and shielding techniques he has the following moveset.

Platform: Default hovering while walking and sitting down is called Platforming, it's not as intense as the Stage phase so it doesn't result in the countdown. It's an ongoing conscious process but does it all the time bc he's just really scared of messing shit up. Likes to walk the beach using this technique.

Curtains: flexible shields that he puts up on surrounding buildings and himself, has the properties of fabric so instead of breaking it tangles and tears. Can be used to contain Kaiju and drape over buildings.

Curtain call- Not to be confused with Curtains, ALL shields, curtains and stages are shattered and his power is depleted lasting 3 minutes. He must de transform before the 3 minutes are up. Often uses this time to clean up

Color Timer is like the moon phases counting down in yellow during the Stage phase. It just flashes red during Curtain Call

In practice he can last transformed longer than 6 minutes as long as Stage isn't invoked. Literally sat thru a baseball game and a concert as Ultraman bc he could. Using Platforming to chill as much as he can.

There's this rivalry between Ultraman Kenji and Ultraman Stage mostly because of a sort of feeling of "what if?" On Ken's part.

They met when Ken was visiting the states again and Ken sees that Stage manages to kill a Kaiju,

When they do meet, Stage is immediately threatened by the "original" (since he didn’t have the resources *money and ultra parent* like Kenji)

He relies on the fact people don't know what the fuck he is, in desperate measures cries when upset so he uses that to shift public perception.

*gets punched by Ken and starts to cry*

Ken: Are you crying?!

Jeers from LA

*Stage gets his shit rocked by Emi with the metal bat*

Ken: EMI NO!

Eventually Kenji does give his blessing to stage to keep the area safe and some fighting tips

Ken: We never really got over that language barrier

Stage: its not your fault

Ken: TF You speak English?

[phxntomsdusk]

Valentine’s day with my bursonas

note; these are just a bunch of bursonas i technically made!! hope you all enjoy <3

warnings: mentions of death (klepto!wilbur), goth!wilma with a fem!reader, other than that fluff fluff fluff !!

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog , @pheliiaa , @idontreallyexistyet , @rqvii , @vibestillaxxx , @ivvees-blog , @average-vibe , @lillylvjy , @haunted-headset , @toastyliltoasts41 (ask to be added!)

Klepto!Wilbur:

this man doesn’t even know what the holiday is. he’s been dealing with death for so long, the poor guy never realized you celebrated love!

the first time he realized it was a thing was when he found you upset about it, crying saying you were never gonna receive flowers or candy again, because well, you had died—!

he got to work immediately. he bought you roses, holding back the urge to make them black of course. got you your favorite candy after questioning you, and set up a small picnic spot in the woods.

sure, it was a bit scary, but that’s all he really knows

he even got a raven to befriend you and follow you around everywhere, claiming it was protection

“wilbur.. there’s a crow on my head.” you awkwardly pointed up towards the black bird, furrowing your brows at him. “my love, that’s a raven. and it’s for protection! you can never be too careful in the afterlife.” he smile lightly, before planting a kiss on your cheek.

now, if you had gotten him things? he would lose it

you’d never seen him cry, but this definitely would make him bawl..

just knowing that someone truly loves him for who he is, even with what he does for a living, he can’t help it!

at the end of the day he’ll be happy whether it’s him getting you things, or you getting him things. as long as he gets to spend the day sharing his love for you, he’ll be more than happy

Softball!Wilma:

this damn girl is going ALL out for you

she’ll buy cliche and cringy softball themed valentine’s day gifts, mostly giving you those during the week leading up to valentine’s day

but on THE day?? be prepared ..

you’re getting flowers, candy, teddy bears, baskets, gift cards, everything you can imagine!!

if she’s taking you on a date, she’ll wait to give you everything, taking you back to her house afterwards and telling you to close your eyes before entering her room..

“are we there yet?” you groaned as you nearly stumbled over the stairs again, a hand stretched out as you frantically tried to find a door or wall. “yes, yes.. open your eyes, love.”

you did as you were told, seeing her bed decked out in heart shaped things, red and pink, balloons, stuffed animals, candy and such. your jaw dropped, slowly turning to look at her.

“you’re joking..” you spoke quietly, watching her chuckle and shake her head, before wrapping her arms around you and kissed you softly. “i’m not. i love you, and you deserve it.”

now, if you got her stuff? she’s not expecting it!

she’s only ever gotten those yearly stuffed animals from her mom, that always end up tucked away in a bin under her bed or in her closet..

but if you got her like a basket with gift cards, some stuff she can use during games like eyeblack or maybe heart pattern bat grip, she’s losing it!

you’re being tackled with a hug, attacked with kisses and thank yous, she won’t shut up about how much she loved and appreciates you

and for a date? you guys are going to apple bee’s, there’s no denying it. she’s a softball girl, apple bee’s is their holy grail

Baseball!Wilbur:

so if we go based on the series accurate lore- he’s the one buying things in hopes you finally go out with him

it’ll start at a practice, he’ll bring you a small bag with a note, candy, bracelet or necklace, and a small teddy bear <3

the note will be all romantic, with a heart drawn at the end

dear y/n,

you know i’ve been head over heels for you for.. months now. you’ve been on my mind 24/7 ever since i first set eyes on you. i know you don’t like me and don’t show signs of it, but i still wanted to treat you today :)

love, wilbur <3

of course he watched you as you read the letter, and seeing you smile has his heart racing

he approached you after the practice, blurting out how pretty you are, asking if you wanted to go out with him, to which you had to shut him up with a kiss <3

safe to say he had a valentine !!

Goth!Wilma:

okay, she’s goth, she doesn’t love the color pink and all the bright hearts everywhere

but for her girlfriend? she’ll spend her money on some colors for once <3

it’ll start with something small like a brown stuffed bear holding a bright pink heart, and when she saw your face light up she knew she had to do it again

she started bringing you more heart shaped and pink gifts, little notes about how much she loved you, and even gave in to wearing some colors when she took you on a date !!

“do i have to wear the pink shirt?” she sighed as she stared at it in your bedroom mirror, pulling the ends down a bit. “for me? we’re matching, it’s cute!” you smiled widely, walking close and wrapped your arms around her, placing a few kisses on her cheek. “fine.. just this once. only ‘cause i love you, doll.”

she did feel a little embarrassed out in public wearing the shirt, but with your bubbly smile she decided to forget about all the stares

she’d take you to either an ice cream place or a cafe, spoiling you with whatever you wanted, as long as you paid her back in kisses <3

and that night would be spent cuddling the stuffed animals she got you, with her wrapped around you like a koala

[jarritos-hetalia]

Part two of Hetalia as things I've heard! (Extended edition)

These are from years ago, like a while ago. So there are references to Pokemon scarlet and violet, and maybe other things.

~~~

Italy: That kid just twerked on baby Jesus!

~~~

Hungary: So a woman's period is kinda like-

Prussia: *Starts Crying*

~~~

Germany: Hey Japan-

Japan: *Hugs him*

Germany: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

Romano: Do you know who that is? *Points to a random person*

Spain: No?

Romano: That's because you are ugly.

Spain: *Sad*

~~~

America: Hey Old man, have you heard of the star wars character Bofa?

Canada: Don’t

England: What?

America: Bofa deez nuts in your mouth!

~~~

America: I’ve played basketball before.

America: *Goes to shoot the ball*

Canada: Go Lebron Manays!

~~~

Romano: *Sitting on the floor behind Italy and Spain so he doesnt get called on*

Spain: *pointing to him* Romano is here!

Romano: You Bitch

Spain: Germany, call on him!

~~~

Italy: Bye Germany!

Germany: Bye Italy, Love you!

Italy:

Germany: I’m so sorry

~~~

America: *On a discord call with Japan*

Japan: Bye

America: Bye, Love you

Japan: Wha-

America: * Hangs up*

Discord- would you like to rate your call?

America: *typing* Bad, I accidentally said “I Love You”

~~~

America: lol

England: What is this 2012? I haven't heard anyone say “lol” in years.

America: *internally* Did no one ever teach you to mind your own business.

England: *Laughing his ass off*

America: yesterday you said that something was groovy, what year are you living in, 1980?

England: >:O

~~~

Romano: So I stabbed myself in the leg three times with a pen-

Italy: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Romano: Because I was stressed? Anyway-

~~~

Hong Kong: *Vibing to Cabinet Man by Lemon Demon at three am*

Japan: *Bangs on his door* DID YOU OPEN MY MOUNTAIN DEW?!

Hong Kong: wha- WHY THE FUCK WOULD I??

Japan: GOOD *leaves*

~~~

Italy: Illions’s favorite pizza topping is ketchup.

Romano: *Grabs his bat* What the fuck.

~~~

America: TwO tRuCkS, hAvInG sEx

England: What the actual fuck

~~~

Germany: I’m Hyperlexic

Italy: I’m Dyslexic

Japan: Together you are lexic

Romano: You just brought back so many lexia memories

~~~

Russia: I opened his mountain dew

Hong Kong: Why?

Russia: I like to inhale the carbonation.

Hong Kong: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

France: I’m not going

England: Okay

France: *Gets out of the car*

England: I thought you weren't coming?

France: I am now

~~~

Receptionist: Hey lady, so the restrooms are all the way across the building and the others are through the gym

Hungary: Why?

~~~

Romano: I swear to God if one more thing goes wrong today I'm going to kill myself.

Spain: Hey.

Romano: I'm going to kill myself!

~~~

England: *Walking*

America: You look like an NPC

England: What?

America: Now you look like a roblox character.

~~~

Italy: I got an ad for the new pokemon game and I was like “Did that pokemon just turn into a fucking motorbike?!”

Romano: *Mocking Him* Did that person just turn into a present?!

~~~

England: I can’t feel my facial muscles.

France: You can’t because you don’t commonly give people blow jobs.

England: What the heck.

~~~

France: Next person to walk through the door is annoying

England: *walks through the door*

France: True

England: FUCK YOU

France: I know you would you slut

~~~

America: That man was a pedophile!

England: It was the fucking mall santa!

Canada: Truly the most perverted man alive.

England: You too!?

~~~

Romano: Italy I swear to God if you do something more chaotic than you normally do I'm going to fucking choke Spain out.

Italy: Why are you torturing Spain

Romano: Because Spain is just an annoying little brat

Spain: *Getting ready to be killed* Screw you Romano no one loves you

Germany: I'm going to the corn field

~~~

America: is it a hotdish or a casserole?

Canada: a Casserole?

America: Nope, a hotdish

Canada: What the fuck is wrong with you.

~~~

Italy: Anything can kill you if you throw it hard enough!

Romano: *Breaking threw the door* Hey! That’s my line!

France: Anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough! England: You are a fucking disappointment

France: I know

~~~

Italy: This is my favorite picture of Germany!

Japan: All I see is Johnny Deept

~~~

Romano: *Kicking the air*

Prussia: *Grabs His leg*

Romano: *Falls*

Prussia: ‘-’

Romano: HE THREW ME! Prussia: NO I FUCKING DIDN’T

~~~

Russia: I know your mom

America: *Does Not have a mom* What’s her name?

Russia: Umm

America: What’s her name?

Russia: I’m in danger *Laughes*

~~~

Canada: I don’t know football

America: Okay?

Canada: But I know Hockey

America: Why

~~~

Germany: Depressed can be a character trait?

Germany: Hey y'all my name is Germany and I’m depressed!

~~~

Germany: *Making the hand wolves have sex*

Romano: DON’T MAKE THE HAND WOLVES HAVE SEX

~~~

Norway: So Finland gave me two fidget toys

Iceland: ?

Norway: and one of them is this fidget spinner thing and the other one is just a ball

Iceland: Ball, I want ball

Norway: O-okay. *Hands him the ball*

Iceland: *holds the ball* Textured Ball

~~~

Iceland: Hey Sealand, look at this *Shows him screenshots of lexia*

Sealand: Wha- *Starts Crying and screaming*

~~~

Romano: Sprigatito the italian seasoning cat.

~~~

Canada: Mom said that I was her favorite memory and that you were her second

America: *Angry Yelling*

England: I said that because he was the first born!

~~~

America: Hey BrOtHeR!

Canada: What do you want?

~~~

Iceland: I’ll walk home by myself

Sweden: You won’t

Iceland: Watch me *Walks out*

~~~

Italy: when in doubt, know your way out

Germany: what are you planning on doing

Japan: *running* I AM NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES 

Germany: what???

~~~ Spain: Two trucks having sex~

Romano: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SPAIN

~~~

England: *Talking about child labor* Look at how dead inside this child looks

England: *Shows a picture of a kid from miss pilgrims home for particular children* Look at how similar they are, so you might say that the kids were ‘particular’

England: *Shows a picture of the kids from the shining* I added that one in there for fun-

America: *turns to Canada* We’re talking about child labor and he wants to make that fun?

Canada: Weird

~~~

China: Remembering the time my boyfriend told me that “Sweet Bod” by Lemon Demon was our love song but in a romantic way.

Japan: and you didn’t break up with him?

~~~

America: You can perform CPR to “Two Trucks” by Lemon Demon

Japan: What?

America: Imagine waking up after CPR and hearing “Two Trucks, having sex”

Japan: What is wrong with you?

~~~

[bittersweetastoria]

Mine.

I don't have much to say here other than, run now if you're not looking for nsfw vibes. and enjoy, of course.

“You’re mine.” Those words sent a shiver down your spine, the cold metal of the bathroom stall against your bare back where she held you. Her eyes dark, yet still hypnotizing somehow. She didn’t even need to have you pined, her hand at your throat tight enough to assert dominance without causing harm, to have you weak in the knees and wanting her. Digits tightening slightly as she caught your eyes drifting from her eyes to her lips and back again. “Did you hear me? MINE.” She growled again, this time leaning into your ear. Her lips ghosting your ear lobe, causing your knees to buckle beneath you..

“Y-yes, mami.” You manage to get out, yours eyes now locked on hers as you licked your lips. Why’d you wear this lipstick? It was dry and probably didn’t look cute. But then again.. Why would you care about that now? You knew that look in her eyes. Things were about to get awfully messy.. and you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. Not in the least. Especially as her rough hands slid up your thigh under your entirely too short black dress. “Naughty little kitten… You were looking to be fucked tonight, weren’t you?” She spoke hotly against your ear, her lips now trailing down your jaw to your neck as her fingers slid against your wetness. The mere touch had you purring, yearning for more. Knees like jelly below you, your weight leaned onto the taller muscular woman who all too easily kept you up while also playing with your soaked needy little cunt. “Mami..” You plead, needing to feel her inside you. Your eyes must’ve said the same, only in the way that she could never say no to. Biting down on your neck at the same time as she slipped two digits within you, a loud moan ripped from you to sound within the tiny bathroom. Rhea continued her motions, thrusting her fingers deeper and deeper until she had you crying out for her again. By now, you had a very good mark to prove just who’s you truly were. A mark you would proudly sport, even walking back out to that bar where all those guys and even a girl had hit on you to bring out your Mami’s jealousy. To see that proud smug little smirk on her face? You’d do anything. Sans public indecency... though technically you were treading on that already given this was a public bathroom - merely blocked off by the heavy trash can she had put in place after getting you inside before she pinned you. Somehow, you both found your way to the sink of which you hopped up onto spreading your legs to lock around her waist and pull her against you. “Please,” you plead again, your lips finding hers again before she could place her lips anywhere else on your body. “Please what, kitten?” Rhea spoke against your lip, the smirk could be heard in her voice as she took her opportunity to trail her lips down your jaw. Without meaning to, you find a growl coming from your throat as you quickly tend to her jeans knowing just what his underneath them. Within seconds, you had the strap she’d worn in preparation for this very moment - surely, in hand. Anytime you went out, boys hit on you and made her feel like she had to prove who’s you were right there and then. Not that she really did. You both knew exactly who's you were. Thus making your sexy time friend necessary on these nights. You knew how this worked. You just liked to play along cause it was so fun. “Nah nah nah.” She scolded you, the amusement was clear in her voice so you merely paused a moment as your eyes locked with hers in a silent challenge. “You’re too slowwww.” You pouted playfully as you batted your all too fluffy eyelashes, pulling the fake dick out where it came to lay was awfully close to where you needed her most. Her fingertips found your chin, tilting your head up to make sure you were paying attention as she withdrew her core away from you making you pout once again. “Wanna try that again, babygirl?” She asked, smugness seeping from her as she watched your expression - finding herself in the dip of your neck once again right after, her teeth toying with your skin there until she got the moan she wanted from you.. That was when she decided to stop playing around and give you what you wanted, slipping the strap on quickly and easily into your wet and needy core causing your whole body to tense up under her control. It was only a moment before you relaxed enough for her to move within you, driving you further and further into your own undoing as she continued her lovely assault on both your cunt and neck.

——————————————————

By the time you both had your fun and cleaned up, there was a line at the door and people banging on the door. You were both a giggling mess, her arm possessively and protectively at the same time slung over your shoulder as you opened the door and emerged finally. A few shocked faces, some whistles, and a bow chicka wow wow were heard as you passed them all on your way out to the bar again. Where Rhea purposely walked you both up to where guys had hit on you, some still sitting there and not dumb to what that look was on both your faces. You giggle as one of them spots the hickies forming on your throat and chest, eyes bugging as he did. “Think this’ll cover us?” She asked the bartender as you happily leaned into her, fingers reaching up to lace with hers upon your shoulder. The bartender must’ve given the go ahead, cause you both moved back then in unison. Rhea looked to the guy gawking at you both, winked in only the way she could to show she was THE only one you would be calling daddy, before guiding you both from the bar. Despite being very satisfied, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t toy with you and you wouldn’t get worked up again along the ride home. But that was more than alright by you. You could never have enough, not when it came to her.

[realthoughtsreal]

An ace finds an ace

This Monday, for the first time in my life, I met another ace.

At 22, in a small country, I had long accepted I’d never meet another ace here, nevermind people who respected it or even understood the meaning of the word.

I had gotten some kind of vibe from them, I knew we’d get along great, and I could tell they were queer somehow, but I didn’t really imagine them to be ace, you know? Because it’s always easier to picture someone as bi, pan, or gay, than it is to picture them as ace.

Do you know how few of us there are, compared to other sexualities? So few that meeting in the wild is a miracle.

I found out when we were chatting after class, they’re one of my classmates. A group of us were talking about some ‘hearmeout’ trend on Tiktok about attractive characters and we asked each other the ones we’d choose. My turn came and I shrugged awkwardly, saying “No idea. I’m, well, ace so. Yeah.”

To my great pleasure and surprise, the others didn’t bat an eye or ask me what ace was, they just asked “Oh, just ace or aro too?” Their gazes didn’t changed a bit, they were still just as kind and friendly.

I was shocked and sorta just mumbled “Well yeah? Sort of both? I mean I know I can feel romantic attraction for someone, but it has happened less than 3 times in my life. So. Yeah.”

“Oh I see.”

And then this classmate, that I had thought from the first day was cool as hell goes “Oh me too actually.”

And dudes. My guys. When I tell you my jaw didn’t drop but I immediately froze and got teary eyed. My eyes got all shiny and a wide, genuine smile spread over my cheeks. My chest quivered and suddenly I feared I’d start to cry. I got choked up and barely replied.

To think I’d finally meet another ace, a classmate at that, and one who I really get along with?!

I didn’t realize how desperate I was for connection and understanding from someone in the same position as me until that moment. We got talking and I kept choking up over my words, because we had the same experiences and issues in high school because of our aceness.

My heart was absolutely shaken, but I felt warm all over. Comfort like none other I had known before; the comfort of being known and understood.

This extremely cool person was like me.

I barely held back tears, but couldn’t push down my instinctual smiles and bright attitude after that.

I’ve kept the happy mood all week, and every time we see each other, we now chat and greet each other naturally. There’s a connection and mutual understanding between us, now that we know we are both ace, and we’re the first ace we’ve met to one another.

Aceness can be tough. It is tough. And isolating. But it being isolating from the rest of society and its way of life, doesn’t mean we have to be lonely.

We can find and choose friends and family to fill our lives. As ace/aro people, our lives will always look different from allos, but that’s okay.

I feel like this year, I’ve been learning to come to terms with that. I’m learning how to be a happy ace in this society. I have friends I hang out and talk with, I have family members who see me and accept me, have never made me feel like I need to explain my existence/come out, I go to class and have fun, I enjoy going to cafes, I can be happy for others without envy for their life styles.

We’re people too. Not abnormal freaks.

Maybe not everyone will respect us. Maybe not everyone will like us as people. Maybe some will always thinks of us as sick.

But you, ace person reading this, must know you are not sick. You are not a freak, and you are not alone. We’re out there. You just have to reach out.

And to the allo person reading this; inform yourself. Remember to treat everyone with kindness and patient understanding. Asexuality is not a sickness, that’s a common misconception. If you encounter an ace person in the wild, just treat them as you would everyone else: with kindness. Do not question their existence. They’ve had enough of that. Respect aroace people, do not force them into situations theymre uncomfortable with.

[crancisfrozier]

Okay I just finished Dragon Age the Veilguard after about 100 hours and I have SO MANY thoughts I need to get out of my system.

First, the positives; 1) This game was FUCKING GORGEOUS. It is lightly stylized and I can see what people mean when they say it’s a little sims or Disney like, but overall I think they made a really bold choice to not look like every other game that’s coming out now and I think it paid off. I’ve never cared about photo mode in games before but I found myself stopping to take a screenshot every 5-10 minutes. Even in boss battles!!

2) The combat. This the first time ever in a DA game that combat is genuinely fun and not kind of a slog you have to get through to advance the story. Playing as a mage has never been more enjoyable.

3) The major story points. I won’t go into spoilers right now but Weisshaupt and the entire last act of the game were phenomenal. Peak Dragon Age. I was crying. I was shaking. I was scared for my companions and the state of the world. These battles were enormous and epic and world changing.

Okay putting the rest under a read more because this post is really getting away from me. There will be spoilers under the cut :)

4) The Solavellan content. I fully expected to have their story lowkey ignored because of how much time had passed and how much was going on in the world. At best I thought there might be one or two lines of dialogue about it. I was not expecting to get a conversation with my inquisitor solely about him that so beautifully sums up exactly why me and my inquisitor fell in love with Solas, or to be able to get the happy ending with them that I have yearned for this past decade.

Before I go into the negatives I want to state that I really enjoyed this game. It’s probably a 7 or 8/10 for me! But enjoying it does not make it immune from criticism. So, the negatives for me:

1) The writing/dialogue. I know this has been a massive point of hate for a lot of origins-only crybabies and I don’t want to necessarily validate them but I think we have to admit that the writing was…shall we say inconsistent perhaps? As I mentioned above, the pinnacles of act 2 and 3 are Dragon Age at its best imo, but in between that? There is a lot of tell not show going on and modernization of dialogue that can take me out of the immersion, which has never happened for me in a DA game before. My theory is that they overcorrected from inquisition, a game that is not very new player friendly (I say this as someone whose very first DA game was inquisition and I wouldn’t change that for the world) and ended up simplifying, excessively repeating, and underutilizing themes and parts of the story.

2) The companions. I enjoy them as characters don’t get me wrong (Emmerich Volkarin my beloved I will romance you every playthrough)! But they feel much flatter than in any other DA game. There is not a lot of tension or realistic personality dynamics between them. I’m not saying every game needs to have a Fenris/Anders level rivalry but when a group of people come together in a situation as stress-inducing as stopping the end of the world, they are not going to immediately be happy and love each other and give found family vibes off the bat. That has to be earned, they have to actually go through things together! They will have people they like and don’t like, people they get along with and don’t get along with! Consider the dynamic in inquisition: Sera and Solas do not get along. She hates his arrogance (and his “elfyness”) and he dislikes but mostly pities her. But Sera and Blackwall are best friends! Blackwall and Solas have a super interesting dynamic given their *ahem* personal identities. Solas and Bull have a mutual respect as strategists (I will always love their mental chess match in banter). Bull and Dorian have a whole enemies to lovers thing going on! Vivienne hates Cole because she sees him as a demon, But Cole is basically Varric and Solas’s adopted son who they have a minor custody battle over. I could go on and on! This drama, these personality clashes are what flesh the companions in previous games out so well. Everyone joining the team and then having next to no internal conflict (or if they do it is basically immediately resolved) makes it boring, I’m sorry! And on that topic, I have to mention their approvals and disapprovals. They mean nothing. There are not really any consequences for doing something a companion hates. They will typically immediately forgive you no matter what. Thinking back once again, what would the inquisition companions be without the approval/disapproval system? Without Vivienne changing around the furniture out of spite? Being able to punch Solas? Having companions leave because they disagree with you so much or straight up telling them to leave?? Not only does this give characters agency and flesh them out, but it provides the perfect role playing opportunities in what is supposed to be an action RPG!

3) The world state/choices from previous games. These were essentially non-existent and boiled down to “did you romance Solas in Inquisition or not”. It feels like they were trying to kind of soft reboot the universe which feels incredibly disappointing after a legacy of choices that can leave so many unique world states. A lot of them even conflict with some of the storylines in the game. For example, I always romance Alistair in Origins and keep him a Grey Warden. Where the hell was he in this game?? Multiple times they say every single Warden has gathered at Weisshaupt, you’d think you might want two veterans of the fifth blight (counting my HoF) to help fight an archdemon??? Are they dead then? Did you kill them bioware??? Also Morrigan, not only does it seem like Kieran doesn’t exist but it’s heavily implied that Morrigan drank from the well of sorrows, a choice that I have agonized over for these past 10 years because I am firmly in the “my inquisitor drinks from the well” camp. I also feel bad for anyone that romanced someone other than Solas in Inquisition because it seems like you get a little note from your beloved and that’s it.

4) The soundtrack. I don’t dislike all of it, there is some battle music I like and the dread wolf and end credits music were great! But a lot of this music felt disconnected from Dragon Age and almost like it was for Mass Effect. Like why are there weird futuristic synths in ancient Arlathan Forest? I was very worried about this the first time I heard Trevor Morris wasn’t coming back for the OST. And when I heard that he was being replaced by Hans Zimmer I couldn’t help worry that they were replacing high quality and understanding of the source material with a big name. The first time I heard the title music it sounded like Starfield. Or like generic epic action movie soundtrack. There has been nothing as truly memorable as the Inquisition theme. Nothing that I will cry in my car to like the lost elf theme.

5) The sanitization of some of Thedas’s darker parts in what feels like an attempt to not upset anyone. Tevinter is known through Thedas for its slavery, for its abhorrent treatment of elves. But we are in the capital of Tevinter and see none of that? The main story of the game unravels the central religion of the world and there is not a single religious person in your group or near it that can feel the full effects of this unraveling? If you play as a dalish elf, gods that you likely worshipped your entire life are proved to be real but not only are they callous and cruel they are trying to kill you personally? And all we get is a few lines of dialogue just saying “oh wow can you believe this”? Where is the mourning for your misplaced faith??? For people’s lives given to devotion for nothing???

6) The state of the world at the end of the game. There is a certain hollowness in preventing the end of the world but having possibly millions killed in the process. And about having places we have loved so dearly, and worked so hard to save in previous games, being completely destroyed offscreen. Then treating the protagonist like this is a great triumphant victory! There should have been a post battle scene at the end, like in origins and inquisition. A breather after all the hard work, but a more melancholy one this time. To register and convey how much of the world has been lost, what the price of this victory was, and the work it’s going to take to recover from.

I know I’ve listed more negatives here than positives but I want to again express that I did really enjoy this game! Not only did I put 100 hours into it, I’m literally already planning my second and third playthroughs. But it does have some major flaws that I think need to be pointed out. We can’t pretend this is a perfect game. For me, Inquisition is still the best DA game and that’s okay! I still have Inquisition, I can go back and play it whenever I want. And if anything, it’s a miracle that this game came out at all. We came very close to living in the Bad Place where it didn’t come out or where it came out as a live service game. I am truly so appreciative of all of the love and effort that went into DA4 and my hope above hopes would be that they do something like Larian where they identify and fix the major issues, but I know that likely won’t happen :(

[cwcthzl]

i am assigned you homework to watch when harry met sally

deb

okay so when i saw this i decided i was gonna watch it and keep a record of all of my thoughts during the film and share it with you, so here you go (it's a lot, i warn you)

i can't believe i have harry's exact haircut oh my fucking god

GET THIS MAN'S BAKERY OUT OF MY FACE

why does he casually have grapes w him

god how i envied those cheerful ppl who dotted their 'i's with little hearts

"look, when the shit comes down, i'm gonna be prepared and you're not. that's all i'm saying." / "in the meantime you're gonna ruin your whole life waiting for it."

sally's hair flow is actually gorgeous no wonder why she puts that much hairspray on

their fits are so 🤩🤩

i like how everytime sally declines to say more when harry asks, harry goes with 'fine, don't tell me' and moves on with whatever is in front of him instead of giving sally the reaction she very much expects (aka pleading for more info) and sally just gives in because she WANTS to share even tho she says she doesn't/can't

TF IS THAT ORDER. WHEN DID ORDERING PIE BECOME THIS COMPLICATED

sheldon the wonder schlong😭😭💀

"but if you MUST know" gurl just spit it out

"they don't make sunday." / "why not?" / because of god." IM WHEEZING

he is so sassy with the 'so?'s oh my god

he is so me

i like the song choice here because i think it really reflects sally and harry's interaction perfectly. "you say ee-ther, i say either." / "you like potato, and i like pot-ahto."

why does he have a baseball bat

why do blonde men look bald

"i never considered not sleeping with you a sacrifice" SALLY YOU COOKED HIM GIRL

"it's amazing. you look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death."

i LOVE harry's mindset he is so me i'm gonna kill myself this guy is an ass

HOW MANY TIMES DID THIS MF MARRY

i was waiting for harry to get divorced tbh he had that divorced dad kinda vibe to him im glad he aced his journey ❤️

standing up to join the wave after telling your friend your wife told you she doesn't know if she's ever loved you is INSANE

"oh really? well that symptom is fucking my wife." funniest line delivery in history

marie i love you bby we're gonna get through this together even tho you're dumb asf

why is this bitch pulling a joe goldberg rn

it's the way sally is taller than harry for me

this couple pissed me off so much GOD STOP TALKING OVER EACH OTHER FOR A FUCKING SEC

YESSSS DIVORCED BITCH APARTMENT THAT HAS NO SURROUNDINGS OTHER THAN A COUCH YESSSS

is harry reading stephen king or are my eyes deceiving me

it's that ugly ass back cover that got my attention. i thrifted doctor sleep and only realized stephen king was on the back cover when mom pointed it out by saying that guy probably looked at his own face for horrors. not cool mum

"i miss the idea of him."

THEY ARE SO ON THE OTHER SIDES OF THE COIN I CANT

he is so weird why does he remember all the things she ordered with such hyperspecific steps. why is he like that. why is he me

"big jerk." / "little creep." LMAOOOOOOOOOO

UGH WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS. DANCINGCHEEK TO CHEEK??????? OH MY GODDDDDD

SUCH A SWEET NEW YEARS KISS 😭😭😭

marie i'm gonna kick your ass

MARIE AND JESS??????? THEY ARE SO CUTE

their fight 😭😭😭 their hug😭😭😭😭 i hate this bitches😭😭😭

NOW THEY HAVE BEEF WITH EACH OTEHR'S PARTNERS????? LMAO

"he is a good guy, you should talk to him!" / "he is too tall to talk to." what if i did a flip

he is still reading the end of the books first

he is so soft and gentle with her i'm gonna cry. not a single jab, a single sarcastic comment. just attentively listening and comforting - reassuring her and petting her hair as sally ugly cries . oh my god they are so 😭😭

sally is so pretty even when she cries tf

laughing to crying pipeline is so real sally i get you bby

i love their little kissies it's so insanely pure to me. like a kiss you would get when you are in elementary when you thought this was the ultimate form of love. so innocent and for what

okay well now this is not very just a peck

okay this is escalating

OKAY THIS QUICKLY ESCALATED

why is harry looking at the ceiling like its the ceiling's fault like damn 😭😭

i love sally's curls so much

why every way they approach this it gets even weirder like i am thinking if they fuck all of this would be resolved and they did and it sucked and now i am thinking they should just go back to being friends and they are doing it but it never seems fucking right???????

what are those skinny ass leggings are they fruitcakes

THE SLAP

HE SINGS TO HER OVER THE FUCKING PHONE FOR HER TO PICK UP😭😭😭🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

this tall bitch again

no this is another bitch

bro he is so me what the fuck i'm gonna kill myself

FRANK SINATRA???? WDYM IT HAD TO BE YOU?????

"how about you love me too?"

THE DETAILS????? IM DEYING

"i came here because when you realize you wanna spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"you say things like that and you make it impossible for me to hate you!" 10 things i hate about you reference? perchance?

SMILING INTO THE KISSSSSSS IM DECEASING

yeah def have chocolate sauce on the side

but after all, i really enjoyed this film. like, throughly. i would be fine even if they didn't end up together because their friendship was just that good and reminded me of me and a friend of mine, and it really touched some subjects i really liked. also i added another mf to my kinlist, so thanks????? ig????? they are very cute and i Loved this film debs you are a saint

[big-pp-energy-ven]

This is just a miscellaneous post of my inner rants, I expect no one to engage with this other than myself when I find this post in like 5 years from now

Based on the previous reblog where it was poll on what kind of gay I was in high school, I was a choir kid (derogatory)

I say derogatory because,,, I had mix feelings about it.

I got into choir in 7th grade middle school, and was in choir up until 12th grade of high school (excluding the covid year, I was online). That's almost 5 years of choir.

Those first 3 years were alright, I might even say great. I had pretty good directors, I especially liked my 8th grade director- excusing that one time she yelled at me tho and made me cry... (maybe).

Middle school choir was about what you expect, I feel like it wasn't all that serious. No proper techniques, just... singing to the crowd. The only shit that was a constant issue was drama amongst the clique of 11-13 year olds. My 8th grade director was great cuz she gossiped with us and she fr kinda ate... she was a middle aged latina woman who had a new jersey accent... loved how real she was.

Then I get to high school choir, and of course everything is different. The director, who we called "Mama", was the sweetest woman and she made choir the best for me. She was like my 8th grade director but more sassier and a loud mouth (affectionate)

You might be saying- what was so bad about choir?

All I will say, the one thing that Mama would get on our asses about whenever we weren't meeting her expectations was attitude and egos. I've seen how some my classmates acted... she was right in most cases.

Something to admit, right off the bat, being in choir for those 3 years was the 2nd time I had ever felt lonely. I mean, 10th grade concert choir, is when I made friends with people I'm currently friends with now! It's funny because I remember seeing how my buddies interacted and I thought they were weird... but then I gradually warmed up to them and realized that I was just as weird.. (that's on that neurodivergent behavior).

While I did make friends with those weirdos (affectionate), I recognized that I spent most of my time alone. Quiet and just watching the other choir students talk and stuff. Whenever someone did talk to me, I remained friendly and said hi, but it always felt kind of forced. Like I couldn't exactly hold a long-lasting conversation. I think I spent more time listening/watching than actually talking. I did have to force myself to talk to people and be a part of a group, I didn't wanna be completely alone. Even in 12th grade, I tried my best to put myself out there... but there weren't a lot of people I vibed with except maybe like 5 of them (there were at least 50 people, btw).

I was in the beginner choir for 2 years, I was supposed to go to the bella voce (all women's) choir my 11th grade year, but covid happened...

So it was surprising when I was chucked in chamber (advanced) in 12th grade. You had to audition and do an interview to get in, and you would be added according to the schedule. Mama always found a way to get in you in multiple choirs... but I was surprised when I was put in there, cuz I didn't have to do any of it.

Mama always mentioned how she saw the best in us and knew who was hard working. Me, however, didn't see that.

I think that's when I started to develop imposter syndrome or at least started to notice it. I felt like I didn't belong in chamber. Everyone in there were great singers and were in theater as well. I know I shouldn't have been comparing myself, but it's kinda hard when you're surrounded by so much talent

I remember we were having a discussing and Mama was asking if we saw ourselves as an ensemble (a person who works collectively with their group) or a soloist (someone who's having a performance of their own... /negative). Most answered ensemble. I answered soloist, and when I explained my own reasoning, I said something like "It's not that I'm intentionally singing alone, I don't feel like I'm apart of the ensemble and I'm my own island." Mama took note of that.

I worked to better my vocals, I sang during karaoke days, and I was considered one of the strongest altos in my section, but I still felt like I wasn't trying hard enough. Senior year had become a weird period where choir became my least favorite class unlike before... I didn't hate it, but it became something I didn't look forward to.

The rehearsals felt monotonous, the drama felt constant, the current state of the world was no longer the same, and I had to worry about passing, so choir wasn't my top priority exactly. I still did what I needed to do during those last 40 minutes of the day, but outside of choir, I was focused on other stuff.

My friends were either in different choirs or were doing dual enrollment, so I was alone for the most part in that class period. Yes, I had friends outside of choir, but I only saw them during lunch. I feel like senior year was lonely... that 1 hour lunchtime didn't seem like enough time.

Now, MPA (basically a choir exam) was coming up, and we have these really advanced pieces we're performing. Mama, love her to death, was working us to the bone. She was harsh. She was critical, but I'd say it was mostly tough love... and this was also when the interpersonal drama started to ramp up, and she had gotten involved to some extent. A lot was happening now (..uh time frame, this was early 2022).

There was one day where the tension was... well tense. And Mama was not having it with us. I was stressed out of my mind at this point, I felt like I wasn't working hard enough, and it felt like I was experiencing the weight of the situation.

The rehearsal went on, and she distinctly told us, "You're gonna close your eyes and sing this right. If you open your eyes, then you aren't taking this seriously, and you don't have the right to be in this choir."

That, for some reason, got me. In the middle of the song, I got choked up and was so ridden with anxiety and sadness that I froze up. I was rubbing my pants' legs and shaking, all with my eyes closed. One of the guest teachers had to touch me to calm me down.

Of course, there was discussion afterward... I was put on the spotlight. I don't even remember what I said, but I spoke out how I felt about the performance. I was mess. I still think about that day because it makes me feel exhausted thinking about it. I remember how much I wanted to quit after that. It's been a year since that happened. I don't know why I felt so burdened during that rehearsal. It might've been due to my own fears of failing, I already had the constant thought of not being good enough and not belonging. I still don't know what set me off to this day.

I find it a little messed up to say that I was happy when I left choir and graduated. I remember seeing my choir mates crying and hugging the seniors. Meanwhile, I was just happy to get out of there. I did say goodbye to one of my favorite underclassmen. I felt no attachments to the choir anymore. The only reason why I cried is because it was due to seeing two of my favorite teachers front row (Mama and my English teacher). That got me, god.

Mama was a great teacher in terms of how she taught and lifted us up. Not only that, she was a good counselor... she was very vulnerable with us, and that, in turn, made us vulnerable with her, and she's the most supportive teacher on campus. I hope she still works there.

The only things I did enjoy from choir were the songs. I can remember a few of them. Also, I'll never forget that I listened to Ubi Caritas for 2 hours straight... I learned it, though. I can't listen to it, thought without feeling sad, as it reminds me of that rehearsal day.

My dad always asks if I'm still singing, and I would say not really... I mean, I do sing on occasion, but I still don't think I'm good. I don't see myself joining the singing career. I still have moments, though, where if/when I listen to someone sing, I listen to techniques and silently correct them. I'm glad I'm more focused on visual arts than performance arts... I was in tech theater though, that was fun.

Sorry for anyone that happened to read this entire mini Bible.. I've had this on my mind for a year.

[red-eft]

1-4, 12, 14 - 15 for bug and compost!!!

let's give it up for these nerds.. oo

1. what's their most trivial fear?

bug: eyes that watch her. bonus points if it's abstract/purposefully strange imagery like floating eyes or something like that. she gets the heebie jeebies a little and the hair on the back of her neck will stand on end. worst case scenario she starts to get anxious and has to physically distance herself from it.

compost: fire. they aren'r really that afraid of it, but watching flames in a campfire or staring at candlelight makes them feel unsettled.

2. their favorite type of joke?

bug: idk actually. her favorite joke is probably whatever other people laugh for and that she feels comfortable about joining in with..

compost: sex jokes/innuendos

3. are they clumsy?

bug: when not trying to be stealthy, yea. plus she's bigger than humans and that doesn't help since most buildings/furniture/etc. are designed only for them. but when sneaking around, all that clumsiness just vanishes :)

compost: one of their abilities is to constantly perceive things thru the insects around them, which helps them stay aware of the area. if there's an overwhelmingly hugee swarm of insects, they might have difficulty navigating and seem clumsy as a result. otherwise, compost isn't clumsy at all.

4. what's their sense of humor like?

bug: kind of innocent. she's oblivious to some social stuff, so jokes and sarcasm aren't her strong suit.

compost: crude. the nastier the better. poetic justice is good too- if some guy takes a baseball bat to a hornet's nest and then gets the shit stung out of him, they'll laugh.

12. what kind of sibling would they be? what vibes do they give off regardless of what they actually are?

bug: only child. i think it fits her. lonely little bug...

compost: also an only child, but that's bc they consumed all their siblings. average younger sibling behavior ngl (<- saying this as the younger sibling in my family)

14. parental issues?

bug: she doesn't know if they're alive or not, but can't remember who they were anyways. normally that'd cause some parental issues, but bug just avoids thinking about it and therefore has No Issues. none at all. no she's not crying, she's just allergic to something in the air

compost: none. compost was formed from rot and leaf litter like all of its siblings (before compost ate them anyways). they never knew or had any relationship with the parent thay gave all of itself to form them. even if compost knew, they wouldn't care.

15. would they be a good parent?

bug: probably? the chances of her ever ending up with kids (adopted since she can't have her own) are extremely slim but. if it happened she would be a very kind and compassionate parent. maybe a little distant emotionally sometimes tho

compost: they would either be a deadbeat dad or like. the most amazing parent ever. idk which though... here's some lore though. compost could reproduce by breaking off parts of themself and just. letting them form another creature. compost's kind isn't a flesh and blood beast, so it wouldn't hurt that much.

[yuttikkele]

Imagine that c!george gets shown by XD how c!dream is the only version of dream across the multi verse that is SO SO SO FUCKING UGLY (i am obsessed with your c!dream design being a loser and creepy)

C!george would be so angry he got the ugly and creepy dream after seeing cc!dream being pretty (and) NORMAL

(Also jealous that cc!george can actually just chill with his friends and is just there sitting in a couch with his perfectly united friend group while he has to deal with a pyromaniac weirdo and his crazy and megalomaniac ex-bestfriend)

(I saw the monster high cry for hc's so here goes

Frankie is used by cleo as a battery for her phone and is the main reason cleo can carry a hair straightener around

Draculaura LOVES LOVES my melody but bought kuromi because she felt kuromi and herseld would vibe [bat moment] she also got gifted a batman plushie by clawd and he chills in her bed with kuromi, my melody and the bunch of heart shaped pink and red pillows)

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA George would wake up FUMING. “Why does CC!George get to live his happy little life with his friends who don’t date each other and thus are ACTUALLY friends and A DREAM WHO’S ACTUALLY JUST A NORMAL DUDE.” George is forever mad at the multiverse. Like he recognizes cc!Dream is still A Little WeirdTM, but SO much better than what he got stuck with. “And Skeppy and Bad are… the same! Huh.”

(also thank you i appreciate it very much)

MONSTER HIGH SEPARATOR THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY TO THE CRY

BRILLIANT!!! I imagine the use of electronic objects would add up every day, and soon she’d have a huge bag for all of it

SOMEONE get draculaura a my melody RIGHT NOW. I always forget Batman is, well, a bat, and I can imagine the heartbreak Draculaura will have when she finds out he isn’t a vampire or a human bat, just a guy in a bat suit. Then she will learn to love him anyways because he’s, well, Batman. Draculaura with her limited superhero knowledge then proceeds to compare Clawd to the wolverine, and when Clawd says they aren’t even from the same franchise, Draculaura consults Ghoulia and they have a superhero night. Why draculaura doesn’t know about superheroes for as long as she’s lived?? Shhh, don’t ask questions…

[thesoulofasurvivor]

The Last of Us episode 6

GREAT EPISODE!!!! Loved every second of it, and I love seeing the developing relationship between Joel and Ellie it is so beautiful.

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!

First I want to preface with Joel... They have made MAJOR changes to his character in general and it's not necessarily bad or terrible, it's still a great show, it's entertaining and the characters are fantastic. The world building, the character arcs and whatever. The problem is more, we know Joel from the game, so looking at this new Joel is pretty daunting because he's so different.

If the game didn't exist and this was the only Joel we knew, it'd be perfectly fine. But the show Joel and game Joel are very conflicting towards each other, in my personal opinion. In the game he is a very tough character.... I'm sure ya'll know what I mean. In the show he's VERY softened up, he's much more gentler, he's much more vulnerable, he even admits how weak he is and he literally is crying. Game Joel? Crying? Only when he lost Sarah in the beginning of the first game.

That said, I am enjoying the soft Joel, however, as someone who is uber obsessed with the video game, it does suck that they changed Joel's character so damn much that he's really just this new version of Joel rather than Joel Joel. If that makes sense.

Anyways, that aside, I fucking loved Ellie throughout this whole episode, she's such a vibe. I love her. I loved DOGGO THERE WAS A DOGGY GVNDRJKGKD and all the horses. We are taken straight into Jackson and I loved seeing that. WE GET TO MEET BABY SHIMMER? HELLO. Ellie's future horse!! I absolutely love Maria and Tommy, just everything is so great.

That scene. That scene. Where Joel confronts Ellie about going with Tommy instead, god damn was that scene ever fucking beautiful, so perfect, right outta the game, I was SO happy with that whole interaction. Even got Ellie shoving Joel, like damn. Good shit. We do not see Ellie run away in the show like she does in the game. But I like how they did this whole thing.

Finding Joel getting a horse prepared and he's all "you deserve to have a choice" and Ellie immediately "let's go" at Joel and I just, IT'S SO SWEET!! She clearly cares so much for him, and I believe this is really when Joel finally started to actually let her in, he's starting to accept her into his heart and I love it so much. The whole sequence of their traveling to Colorado, them just... Hanging out and chatting.

THE MONKEYS HAVE MADE IT INTO THE SHOW. I repeat. MONKEYS. I am so happy we still see the scenes with the monkeys!! We see Joel get hurt here, in a different way than in the game; he get punctured by a broken baseball bat. The way Ellie pleads for Joel when he collapses is the most wholesome thing honestly, she cares about him so much.

[dancing-to-architecture]

25 - ABBA - The Visitors

*Creepy* album cover. Just eerie and off-putting.

So, cards on the table, I am not a big fan of ABBA. (Spotify has them listed as 'the 149th most popular artist on their entire platform', so i know this is An Unpopular Stance). I also don't know a single song on this album.

Buy the ticket, take the ride.

•The Visitors-

Creepy synth strings on the intro. Is this Dark ABBA? Maybe not, the singing came in and it's pretty overtly poppy.

That said, the proto-autotune here sounds pretty damn cool, and the actual lyrics perfectly describe 'having social anxiety and you're throwing a full dinner party in 20 minutes'.

Very "Who are these people and why the fuck are they in my house?" vibes.

Maybe this IS dark ABBA.

•Head Over Heels-

A song about the Toughest Woman On The Planet, which this musical journey has shown me is Decidedly a Type of Woman.

Interesting instrumentation on this one. Almost ethereal at some points.

Only problem i have with it is that i don't know if what they mean by hear over heels isn't exactly what that saying means.

•When All Is Said And Done-

Gotta say, i like a pop breakup song that is mature enough to say "actually, neither of us is the reason this didn't work out, sometimes things just don't work despite what we want".

•Soldiers-

Regarding the chorus: i urge you to listen to The Monks' Black Monk Time about 'songs that soldiers sing'. (Then again, when i was in, i knew far more punk/(nü-)metalhead soldiers than hooah-assed cadence-singing dipshits.)

Also, i get the idea that civilians often get pulled into wars despite the efforts of the soldiers, but that's way less on the soldiers themselves and mostly due to the horror of war finding a shitload of new and interesting ways to destroy humans over the last 120 years.

•I Let The Music Speak-

I'm not sure which of the A's is singing lead on this one, but: THOSE PIPES, GIRL. holy shit, she's straight up belting on this one.

Kinda darker, but still somehow a little upbeat throughout the darkness.

•One Of Us-

Not quite the inverse of 'Said and Done', but i do like the novelty of the song's concept: writing the sad breakup song from the pov of the dump-er who's still feeling pretty miserable about it.

I've definitely been here before.

Soul-shredding but still quite pretty, overall, which is a tough line to walk.

•Two For The Price Of One-

Okay, right off the bat: A. A trivial occupation? TRIVIAL?!

Sanitation workers are what keep "civilized society" from immediately collapsing into a total cesspool of human filth and you from contracting all the typhus and cholera and the numerous others in the horrid violently-shitting-yourself-to-death genre of diseases, so i won't be having any smacktalk on my custodial engineers out there.

B. Nobody should be excited about a BOGO sale on... *checks notes* ...Women?

[Office_space_million_dollars_two_chicks_same_time.gif]

Last line reaction: wait a minute, IS HER *MOM* "GIRL NUMBER TWO"? WHAT IN THE PORNHUB IS GOING ON HERE?

What a weird, "creepy in a bad way" midpoint song.

•Slipping Through My Fingers-

Songs like this make me feel a bit better about not being a parent, because I'm certain this song is a common lamentation regarding parenting: "there's so much i want to do and i feel like I'm missing so much of my child's early life because I'm stuck at goddamn work."

•Like An Angel Passing Through My Room-

Feels like a lullaby, but the subject matter is about remembering the dead.

Which... might be a Scandinavian lullaby for all i know. I've seen some old European lullabies that were pretty wretched.

•Should I Laugh Or Cry-

So far, this one feels the most like 1981. Pads and synths and then synth drums and then somehow still more synth.

Okay, see, there are way too many songs like this and not nearly enough like the Dixie Chicks classic: "Goodbye, Earl".

If you don't want to go so far as to kill 'em, then just leave 'em. Either way you deserve to finally be happy again.

•The Day Before You Came-

Severe Tonal Whiplash after that last song. This one is pretty great, the instrumentation feels a little "Castlevania"-y, and the lyrics perfectly capture that utter Bolt From The Blue feeling that is "meeting someone who you already KNOW is gonna change your entire life".

Just going through the motions, without really thinking about the time going by, and then someone comes out of nowhere and shakes your whole world up like a cheap snowglobe.

•Cassandra-

One of my favorite of the classical Greek tragedies, tbh. A woman cursed with detailed knowledge of future calamities, and nobody believes her.

An interesting modern take on the story.

•Under Attack-

The metric foot is all over the place, one line will have like 12 syllables and the next one has 5, but it really adds to the off-kilter, kinda disoriented vibe of the lyrics.

Also, NO MEANS NO.

NO MEANS FUCK OFF.

NO MEANS IF YOU KEEP ASKING ME I'LL HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.

NO MEANS I'M GONNA EMPTY THIS ENTIRE CAN OF MACE DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYEBALLS IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME.

Well... surprisingly, i really enjoyed an ABBA album. Wasn't honestly expecting that after a lifetime of not digging their singles. (There was a point in time during high school where i legitimately believed the worst part of having so many gay friends was the sheer OMNIPRESENCE of "Dancing Queen".)

I'm certain there's going to be more ABBA along this journey, but I'm feeling a lot less trepidation about it now.

Also, i just might have to relinquish my title of "the only person on the planet who has yet to see 'Mamma Mia!'"

Unrelated entirely, but Spotify automatically started playing more music, and it just now hit me that the intro to Blondie's "Heart of Glass" is basically the same as Nine Inch Nails' "Head Like A Hole", just without Trent's trademark stank (affectionate) on it. That is all.

Favorite Track: The Day Before You Came, what an interesting way to describe what's effectively a day of no real importance, only important because of a lack of something you didn't even know you were missing.

Least Favorite Track: Two For The Price Of One. Even removing the possible incest-y shit in that last line depending on how you read it, this song is just creepy as shit, AND it insinuates that janitors can't get laid without paying for it, which i am here to tell you is categorically incorrect. Utterly bizarre to have it on the album, let alone its placement inherently making it the centerpiece of the album.