#*barty crouch jr.

[rosieandthethorns]

i don't WANT to read smut right now

i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia

[beataylorsversion]

why can't gay people flirt normally

like "ur cute," "no ur cute," isn't that hard

it doesn't have to be:

"finally the flesh reflects the madness within,"

"well, you'd know all about the madness within wouldn't you remus?"

[until-the-house-shakes]

I feel like Barty would ask Evan the most RANDOM questions at like 3 AM.

Barty: if I died. Do you want them to surgically connect my dick to you? Like do you want my dick for your bottom surgery?

Evan: I don’t think that’s how it works.

Barty:… damn.

*Barty waking up Evan as if he just had a nightmare*

Barty: Do you think my animagus would be a horse?

Evan: Why would it be a horse?

Barty: I’m so scared of them Ev. Please say it wouldn’t be a horse.

Evan:… WHY WOULD IT BE A HORSE?

One more

Barty: When we get married, can Reg be my best man?

Evan: No.

Barty: … oh so I guess we’re not getting married then

Evan: He’s officiating it.

Barty:… fine.

[rudamaruda520]

Regulus: I get a feeling that the two of you will get along really well! *immediately leaves*

*Sirius and Barty sitting in visibly uncomfortable silence for a long while*

Sirius: Quidditch?

Barty: Nah...

Barty: Serial killers?

Sirius: Not really...

Sirius: Motorcycles?

Barty: Maybe...

Barty: um... mommy issues?

Sirius: Kinda?!

Sirius: hmm... pretending to be straight but actually very much gay and in love with a grumpy best friend?

Barty: Omg! We'll really get along well!

[not-rab]

*at a death eater meeting*

Barty: They hate our strategies because we're dating!

Evan: …

Evan: We’re not dating?

Regulus: YOU’RE NOT!?

Barty *getting off Evan’s lap*: We’re not?!

[bri-cheeses]

*Dorcas introducing Marlene to the Skittles for the first time*

Dorcas: “This is Regulus. Yes, he does bite. Do not mention James or Sirius around him.”

Dorcas: “This is Evan-and-Barty. Do Not separate them unless you are prepared to face the consequences.”

Dorcas: “And this is Pandora. She can see the future sometimes and has predicted horrible deaths for all of us, but we don’t like to worry about that.”

Dorcas: “What do you think, babe?” :3

Marlene: “… I think I’ve just unknowingly started dating a cult member”

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Evan: I love you, I really do, but we can't date Barty: What? Why? Evan: Because what happens if we break up? Barty: ... Barty: ! Barty: Who gets Regulus in the divorce?! Evan: Exactly!

[child-of-icarus]

Regulus, to the first years: There are only three rules in the Slytherin tower: The lake is off limits, never piss of Mcgonagall, and Barty Crouch Junior is a HOME WRECKING WHORE

Barty, from across the room: BITCH

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Jamie, Barty has something to say to you *pushes Barty towards James*

Barty: *rubs the back of his neck*

James: Uhh

Barty:I just wanted to say I was wrong about you and basically wanted to apologies,

James: Oh..

Barty: Yeah so ‘unfuck’ you or whatever.

Regulus: *facepalms*

James: That was beautiful Barty

[doodlemcjazzhands]

hello! Since you said you’re taking marauders fanart requests:

can you draw a fluffy dorlene one of them cuddling on a couch, or a really sad one of bartys reaction to regulus/evan’s death, or to both? If not it’s perfectly fine. have a great day/night and remember to take care of yourself!

<3

[likeprongstostars]

the peak of my art career

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch

[eeviee4]

On james’ and regulus’ wedding day, Barty and Evan giving James polaroids throughout the day of reg in little lingerie and outfits doing a boudoir photoshoot and James just going feral.

[always-reading]

*from pinterest*

talk ur shit

[fallenseraph01]

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button