#* and I also know that my job is to help EVERY student believe in themselves. and I try the best I can (barring getting overwhelmed)!

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

An adorable student who I worked with last year told me today that she has roses in her backyard and, after I told her how much I love roses (they're my favorite flower!), that she'd pick one and bring it to me. 😭 And had I not been literally in the middle of doing the job that is expected of me that I get paid for, I might've cried.

[ixhika-jsx]

𝖼𝖼::⌗ -⌗𝖼𝖼:: ?? ⌗ -⌗

Top Secrets of Straight-A Students by Bullet Journals

Scrolling away from this post just proves you being an average student....go on scroll away you are doing good by decreasing competition. 🫶🏻😽

1.) They get to class early. Getting to class early gives you time to be prepared and ready to study. Review your notes from the day before, lay out all your supplies (notebook, water bottle, pens, etc). You can also ask the teacher any questions you had about the material.

2.) They get ahead. The second they get an assignment, no matter when it is due, they do it. This is so so helpful. Do NOT procrastinate. You just end up being exhausted and tired. It's not worth it. You might as well finish once you get it. Life will be so easy, believe me.

3.) They have an organized schedule. They figure out a schedule that works for them. They make sure to include time for extracurriculars, breaks, meal times, etc. Try to map out EVERY SINGLE MINUTE of your day.

4.) They prepare. They lay out their clothes for the next day, they finish their homework early, they even plan out what they will have for their meals for the next few weeks and what exercises theyt will be doing.

5.) They enjoy learning and want to learn. They aren't just there because they have to be. They have ajust there because they have to be. They have a strong desire to learn. When you want to learn (even if you fake it) you usually do better on exams and papers.

6.) Everything is organized. Their desk has nothing on it but their Mac, their pens are neatly on the shelf in small cups, they make their beds the second they get out of bed. They have a filing system, so the second they get papers back they put them in the files. When everything of yours has a home it's a lot easier to study and be productive.

7.) They treat school like their job. They may have other part-time jobs, but they know that school is their main focus, and it should therefore be treated as a job. Not wanting to be fired from your job corresponds with not wanting to fail your classes. They therefore work as hard as they can and try to "impress" the boss.

8.) They give it everything they have. They are dedicated, have goals, and know what they want. They don't want to "just get through high school/college." They want to learn, they want to become successful, and most are even aiming for goals such as valedictorian. They won't accept B's or C's. (Please note that while it is very good to have high standards. getting a lower grade once in awhilehigh standards, getting a lower grade once in awhile isn't that big of a deal!!!)

9.) They keep themselves happy and healthy. They take well deserved breaks (only when everything is done), they have "off" days, they get enough SLEEP and WATER, and they keep themselves fit doing yoga, running, cardio, etc.

10) They don't mind helping other people. They don't turn a blind eye to people who need help. Instead they use it as a teaching experience, and help the student through the problem or whatever they need help with. Teaching people is super helpful. I sometimes write on my whiteboard and pretend that I am teaching an imaginary (I'm such a loser but it helps;).

[byemambo]

The Beauty of Subtlety and Change: A Deep Dive [We Are EP. 12]

As more episodes come out every week, I fall more and more in love with this series. I know when the trailer came out, there were some people that we off put by "another university/engineering student" series, or weren't as enthusiastic about the comedy being present in the series, I think that's fair since everyone has their own preferences and qualms with how past series have approached this genre, but I truly believe once people give it a chance and start to watch the further episodes, I start realizing how intentional and well crafted the character development has been with each introduction of a new story arc or group dynamic. Eventually I want to dissect more parts of the series that I resonated with, but the first definitely has to be Tan and Fang's development as the series progresses.

One thing I appreciate about the handling of these two characters, which I continue to give my flowers to Aou and Boom. This is my first time watching them in a series (I was only familiar with Pond and Phuwin from Never Let Me Go, as well as Tee when he played a supporting role in Only Friends), and I instantly fell in love with their on screen characters, but eventually the actors themselves as the series progressed. Both actors do an amazing job portraying the personalities of their characters and their distinct differences between their past and present selves, where the performance is well thought out without being too over the top which is what the sound effects are for hahaha.

In episode 12, the conversation between Tan and Fang caught my attention the most, especially when I rewatched episodes in my free time while waiting for new episodes to drop. When Tan shares his story with the gang about how Fang and him met during episode 9, you wouldn't have even thought both of them would be as hot headed as they were in high school versus how we were introduced to them as university students in the first few episodes.

These exchanges with Fang reflected Tan's past self well: a smart ass, condescending, provoking. I think the juxtaposition between past Tan and present Tan really shows itself when we see how Tan speaks about Fang in private now that they're an established couple: compassionate, attentive, loving. Aou does an amazing job with his microexpressions, saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Episode 9 vs. Episode 12

What was even more of a shock to me was the introduction of Fang's past self, completely opposite of how we were introduced to him in the first few episodes. High school Fang was also just as condescending and hot headed, which was later revealed by Tan that he only punched Fang back to save face on the field with other people around. But can we please address how much of a menace Fang is from that expression alone?

Episode 9

To think that present Fang, someone observant, reliable, and introverted, used to be someone blunt, confrontational and spiteful only reinforced my belief in the evolution of individuals: that a person of their past is in fact, the same person in the present, that not everyone should be tied down to the person they used to be and to make room for the person they're aiming to become. I noticed the shift in their perception of one another when we watch the second half of the flashback after Tan helps Phum and Fang escape an ambush.

Episode 9

This becomes one of my favorite Tan moments so far (as of episode 12): the defining moment of his innate character as selfless, courageous, and heroic. That despite how Tan felt about Fang after their first encounter and the many other arguments and fights to come, that never crossed Tan's mind when he first witnessed the confrontation: that his natural instinct was to help. He further reinforces this value when Phum asked him why he helped them, Tan answering: "I don't believe in dirty tricks."

Episode 9

After Tan's true character redefines itself in Fang's eyes as this asshole that instigated an argument with him for no reason actually has a heart of gold? We also see this shift in perception between Tan as he witnessed Fang's brotherly nature helping Phum with his injuries, later creating a core memory between the three as both of them let their guards down and mutually accept: "You know, this is all turning out way different than what I expected and...I'm not mad at it." In my humble opinion not that I find helping people/aiding people to be an extremely attractive trait in someone, this planting of the seed that leads up to their own way of flirting and eventually becoming a couple makes sense and as Q says: "You're totally rivals-to-lovers". The ability to protect and help others is a strong trait to have, and this makes sense once Fang begins to open up to Tan about his home life.

When Fang seeks out Tan during episode 12 after seeing his brother and father argue, the best way I could put Fang's complicated feelings into words: survivor's guilt. Fang reaffirms this idea through sharing:

"The moment he returned from abroad, I could still remember the look in his eyes clearly. It has remained my trauma until today."

As someone who identifies with Phum and his upbringing in being the lesser favored child by our parents, having a sibling grow up alongside you being raised by the same-but-different parents is a difficult pill to swallow on both ends, especially as we get older and begin to realize how intense and traumatic that experience can be when we reflect back on childhood, often times manifesting into resentment as we see with Phum and his parents currently in the story. On how real those discrepancies become when intervention and self reflection occurs, on quite frankly, how shitty it is to finally see the ugly truth after disregarding reality or protecting (intentionally or not) those who are the root causes of the pain and suffering.

I resonate with Phum and his journey in learning how to express himself in effective ways that can be heard through the ears of others, even though our childhood made us believe that we're not worthy of bare minimum love and attention, that we're bound to be misunderstood. A lot of Phum's tendencies at the beginning make sense for someone dealing with childhood trauma and abandonment issues cause same here, resulting in isolation, disconnection, and eventually waking up surviving every day instead of living every day. Something I personally battle with in my daily life that I'm sure Phum can relate to: "If my own parents can't support and love me unconditionally, who can and who will? Will I even experience that one day? And if I do, how long will it take until it's taken away from me?" Fang also brings up this same insecurity when opening up to Tan:

"Though I act unreasonable and don't behave well sometimes, if one day you feel you no longer want to be with me, just tell me straight. Because if you disappear, I would be in so much pain."

I'm sure once Fang really understood the effects of Phum's treatment by his parents, his need and "role" to protect and care for Phum intensifies, the conflict between pleasing his parents while also pleasing and helping his brother becomes burdensome to the point where he disregards his own feelings in order to "keep the peace." Although these methods seem rational and effective in the moment, it's only a matter of time before the methods become obsolete and unsustainable, and the foundation built on sticks and desperation to remedy the pain and chaos collapses. Then what finally remains is someone who's scared of the unknown, scared of reentering the same detrimental period of preparing for peace time and war time, someone who regulated themselves through adapting hypervigilance and eventually, general anxiety (as someone diagnosed with anxiety, Fang's moments of overwhelm and "dramatic" all or nothing statements are clear as day to overthinkers), someone who realizes that he can't save everyone, and that's a horrifying feeling to accept once you subject yourself to being the peacemaker.

Episode 12

Being able to see how Tan eases Fang's anxiety (which is well depicted in Boom's acting cause I know that feeling of wanting to be brave and express the truth and trying not to cry through it) was incredibly sweet and became one of my favorite moments the two share. That outside of Tan's go lucky, hyper, and expressive self (who used to be this closed off person that only began really changing once his friends gave him an ultimatum to quit fighting or their friendship ends and poor Peem having to find out the truth of Tan's injuries that wasn't from a bike accident LOL) is an emotionally intelligent, understanding, and aware individual that only wants what's best for his loved ones in the moment. Rather than only hearing Tan's reassurances, which is a result of losing faith in other people and dealing with their lack of credibility in their words versus their actions, we see this during Phum's argument with his father when he double downed:

"I'm paying attention to you now. Everything I've done is for you."

When you hear everything in the book and fail to not only see real action, but accountability and seeking of forgiveness through apologizing is like pulling teeth with some generation of parents, so I truly believe the reaction Phum exhibited was expected. When there's no true understanding of the effects a parent's decision had on a child, there's no foundation put in place to accept and move forward. Skipping steps such as reflection, apologizing, and accountability and getting straight to what you think your child wants is not only disregarding: it's insulting. Given that Phum experienced many iterations of this throughout his childhood, I can only imagine Fang experiencing this secondhand or through witnessing his younger brother dealing with these hardships. When words stop having meaning, the weight of people's words can only hold so much value for individuals that deal with anxious tendencies. In my words: "I need to see it to believe it."

Not only does Tan verbally reassure Fang and telling him not to overthink, he also extends this same sentiment through physical touch. Hand holding, grabbing him by the shoulders, poking his nose, hugging, any moment to be playful with Fang. Growing up with an absent parent usually means an overall lack of physical affection, which can feel unfamiliar or foreign and become even more meaningful to those to express their love and adoration through physical touch, which you can see throughout the scene as Tan's reassurance is calming Fang down and finally bringing him to smile for the first time during their conversation.

For all the people who believed that Fang wasn't showing affection enough for Tan and that he didn't like Tan as much as Tan liked him: I will defend Fang like no other because I identify with him. I'm not one to have a track record on expressing my love for others through physical touch (which doesn't mean I despise it, I just simply forget that's another form of affection I'm allowed to express), which doesn't discount Fang's expression of love and writing him off as unaffectionate simply because Tan has established his primary love language to be physical touch. We see Fang's affection and reciprocation of affection most through quality time and acts of service, such as him allowing Tan to help him with his architecture projects or keeping him company, or Fang trying to reach Tan through phone to see him after a rough time with his professor and ready to beat up whoever upset his babe, or Tan waiting for Fang to finish class for them to go eat dinner together. Fang has also exhibited his love and affection through buying Tan little treats or making him his only mastered recipe spaghetti which Tan will never complain about because it's the thought that counts.

It may not seem as overt and obvious as Tan's expression of love, but we can't deny Fang's love for him that's simply a quieter version of love. Just because it's different, it doesn't make one invalid versus the other, look at his smile from him being around his silly little boyfriend. But as time goes on as these two strengthen their bond as a couple, we can already see how Tan's habits and antics rub off on Fang through playful exchanges. Although Fang is more shy about expressing his feelings, it becomes a beautiful balance of your ideal golden retriever-black cat relationship and a wonderful representation of how successful couples become with candid communication, understanding, and reassurance.

Ok I think I got everything out on the hill I'll die on now, so if you've made it this far, I hope I entertained you enough and left you with from food for thought, but I also appreciate your engagement if you have any thoughts! All is much appreciated <3 As you can see, I'm very normal about this series hehehe

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I’m a 23 year old INFP. Due to childhood trauma and growing up in an abusive household, but ultimately I suppose due to my own personal struggle to take control of my life, I feel very behind and unaccomplished at my age. I have yet to finish my degree. I managed to get through high school with flying colours, but it turned out I was completely incapable of managing my depression and focusing on school at the same time. As a result, I’ve dropped out for the time being (I’m about halfway done) and have decided to focus on managing myself, personal development, and getting my finances in order before continuing school.

I feel a lot of shame and guilt for not completing school on time, as I’ve always seen myself as “smart” and “scholarly” I suppose, and was raised to hold education in high regard. To put things into perspective a bit more, I’ve always struggled with procrastination, getting things done on time and allowing my emotions to completely captivate me to the point where I easily neglect my duties. Despite this, I managed to get through high school as an outstanding student, but like I said earlier, this did not carry on into college unfortunately.

I feel like I’m less than half of the person that I could be. I also feel held back by my typology. I recall that you don’t hold much regard for enneagram, but I will just say being an INFP 4, it feels like I was born as the type most susceptible to failure. Now, I know INFP does not equal failure, as my best friend is also one and is a relatively successful business woman. However, she has things in life that I severely lack; adequate parental guidance, self esteem, and what I’d describe as much more developed Si. This isn’t to say things were handed to her, she worked for a lot of what she has now, but I do think that she was blessed with much more assets than I was.

I guess what I feel is that INFP is the least useful brain to have in a situation like mine. I have not a logical mind, nor a desire for any sort of order like Js do, and on top of that I was not taught any life skills, and all of my emotional intelligence was developed on my own, through observation. So, I’m great at giving advice, and horrible at applying it to my own life. I’ve been said to be wise, insightful, and particularly good at dissecting interpersonal relationships, yet nothing about my situation in life would reflect this, except maybe my relationships I have with my friends, to a degree.

I know I lack emotional intelligence despite being told otherwise, and this is something I’ve only recently come to terms with. I now believe if I truly had emotional intelligence, I would be in a better position than I am now. I have a tendency to avoid things that make me feel bad. I enjoy staying up late and staying in bed all day. I feel very unequipped to deal with society. I hate strangers, I hate being yelled at, I hate being invalidated, I hate being misunderstood, and all of these hatreds and my incompatibility with society were solidified during the years I worked (fast food, sales, and call centers). I am now very hesitant to get a job, I feel like I’ll be unable to succeed at anything I’m actually qualified for, as it often requires dealing with strangers. I don’t know how I did it before, but I do remember feeling dread during every work hour. I am scared to be in that position again.

I have a tendency to do more for others than myself. I’ll spend all day or longer writing an essay for a friend, or helping them with their homework, and yet I cannot bring myself to focus on my own studies. I can give a friend mountains of advice, perhaps even a detailed life plan, but I can’t begin to truly dissect my own problems and figure something out. It is so much easier engaging with someone else’s problems instead of my own. These days, I often feel like some sort of side character, someone meant to uplift others, but cannot experience any development for themselves. The narrative isn’t focused on me, although I so desperately want it to be.

I want to be accomplished. I want to be strong. I want to face strangers with ease. I want to be able to push aside my feelings in order to work hard. I want to be comfortable with myself, to be a beacon of hope for others, not just by my words and ability to connect with others, but by who I am as a person on my own.

But I am so inconsistent in my pursuits of self improvement, and so easily defeated. I’ve tried and failed a million times. I’ve improved myself over time, but the improvement has been minuscule and inconsistent. It isn’t entirely my fault, as there are circumstances I won’t get into that quite literally force me away from my goals, but I know that I need to find a work around and learn to cope with them so that I may one day succeed and leave these circumstances.

I just don’t know what to do. How can such a sensitive, reclusive, and traumatized person such as myself break their chains? Is it even possible to live up to the greatness I desire that lives only in my head? As an INFP born into such unlucky circumstances, am I destined to always fall short of the person I need to become?

My friends tell me that I’m a great person. They would say I’m capable and that they’ve seen proof. I am cursed with the knowledge that they speak with bias, and their perceptions of me are not based off reality, but by subjective feelings of tenderness. I feel like if anything, it’s been proven that I am incapable.

The only thing I’m really “good” for is giving emotional support to others, but that means nothing to society and absolutely nothing to myself. When I say this, I don’t mean to say that I don’t value kindness or the ability to connect, but that these “strengths” of mine do not realistically benefit my life. Being empathetic is nice for others who know me, but it hasn’t made me a more accomplished or skilled individual, and it hasn’t added any pride to my image. It doesn’t mean much to me if in the end I still can’t take care of myself and I still don’t have much value as a member of society. Especially when I look around and see how much more accomplished my peers who are much more insensitive than me are.

How do I change? How can I live up to my own expectations and standards? How do I fight back?

----------------------

You've brought up a lot of different points, so I'll attempt to break them down for you:

(1) Type Clarification: How did you come to INFP and are you certain this is the correct type? I am obliged to clarify this point because function development isn't going to work for you unless you have the correct type. Generally speaking, based on my experience with type assessment, there are certain warning signs that indicate a mistype, and you display a few of them, so it's important to double check before proceeding.

(2) A Problem of Perspective: What you've written is basically a narrative of your life that explains how you got to this point. What you don't seem to understand yet is that a "narrative" isn't reality. A narrative is merely a story that is told from a very narrow and specific point-of-view.

I always like to bring up the children's story The Ugly Duckling as an example of how a personal narrative can heavily influence one's perspective and lead one into forming faulty beliefs about oneself and the world. The main character of the story wasn't able to truly understand himself until he realized that his personal narrative was all wrong. You are in a similar boat.

Whether they realize it or not, everyone has a personal narrative, a story that they tell themselves about who they are. How do we know whether the narrative is a good one? Think about what a narrator does in a novel:

- A story always makes more sense and is more easily understood when the narrator isn't the main character but rather an omniscient or godly being that tells the story from an objective vantage point (third person perspective). As such, we can trust that the narrator is providing a full and factual account.

- When the narrator is the main character (first person perspective), you will find that the story is more difficult to understand for two reasons: 1) there is a lack of information due to lack of access to other perspectives in the story, and 2) readers must suffer the same distortions in belief and flaws in memory that the character suffers.

Knowing this, I will point out two problems with your narrative...

(3) Lack of Objectivity: The first problem with your narrative is that it is stuck in the first person perspective. You very much lack a bigger picture view of things, which is not an uncommon problem for introverts who struggle with tertiary loop. This is a sign of insufficient extraverted development, i.e., trapped in subjectivity and lacking objectivity. You're unable to see yourself and your situation from any other perspective but your own, to the point where you actively dismiss every other valid perspective.

Lack of bigger picture thinking is often correlated to depression. Your mind basically operates as though having fallen into a pit, with no view of anything but yourself. Spend enough time being stuck with yourself and every little thing that flits through your mind gets amplified manyfold, such that every ache and pain feels much larger than it really is.

If you are INFP, this situation should be remedied through auxiliary Ne development that would grant you a more open-minded, optimistic, resourceful, ambitious, and forward-thinking attitude. It's not about "shoving your feelings aside" but about learning to see things in a more positive light. The cure to being too negative is to learn how to balance it by being more open to the positive.

Healthy NPs never shy away from problems because they trust in Ne, i.e., they exercise their creative problem solving skills as necessary to get over hurdles and obstacles, even transforming them into something positive. So, why aren't you exercising Ne? What have you done to develop Ne? It is troubling (and perhaps a sign of being mistyped) when the auxiliary function is completely absent from your cognition.

(4) Poor Critical Thinking: The second problem with your narrative is that it was spun out of faulty beliefs. You've basically been telling yourself a bogus story, over and over again, and now you believe that every word is true. When a narrative is fundamentally flawed like this, the remedy is to change the story and make it more objective as mentioned above in point #3, as well as more factual.

While there are facts peppered throughout your story, your interpretation of the facts is often incorrect. You want to believe you have a good grasp of the facts, but you don't.

For example, the fact is that the education system, being as big as it is and not having all the resources in the world, cannot be much more than a crude one-size-fits-all approach to learning. As such, it's not going to work equally well for everyone. There are always going to be students with special needs or unique circumstances that won't flow smoothly through the system as planned. If the system isn't working for you, is it something to take as a personal failure and feel deeply ashamed about?

I used to teach critical thinking courses and there was one problem I encountered again and again. Many people think they understand facts, but the truth is that they don't even have basic knowledge of what a fact is.

For example: Yes, it is a fact that you were deprived a healthy childhood. Yes, it is a fact that you had to drop out of your studies. These things happened and they are provable. However, how did you jump from these simple facts to make claims such as "I'm a failure"? Calling yourself a failure isn't a fact but rather a value judgment, and in this case, it is an unjustified value judgment.

An easy way to tell whether someone has poor critical thinking skills is to see whether they can tell the difference between a fact and a value. You aren't able to, and many people aren't able to. Believing that you have a good grasp of the facts when you actually don't is how you end up with faulty beliefs. When you go through life with faulty beliefs, you're much more likely to take the wrong approach, make errors, and suffer from unconscious biases and prejudices.

People aren't born with good critical thinking; it must be learned and practiced. There are lots of resources for improving, and you ought to improve because it's vital for challenging faulty beliefs. However, deeply entrenched beliefs are difficult to change on your own because your ego is invested in them, so it might be a good idea to work with a cognitive-behavioral therapist. They can be your objective party and help point out exactly where your thinking is going wrong. But this is assuming that you're willing to open your mind to other perspectives.

(5) Emotional Reasoning: Yes, you are quite right that you need to improve your emotional intelligence. Throughout your story, I see many thinking errors that lead you to draw incorrect judgments/conclusions. But what lies at the heart of those errors is that your thought process frequently gets hijacked by unresolved negative emotions. Improving your emotional intelligence would not only help improve your mood, it would also help stop emotional reasoning.

In your story, you're trying to link cause and effect, in order to provide an explanation of the factors that led you to this point in life. This seems like a reasonable and logical thing to do. However, people who are prone to emotional reasoning often get cause and effect backwards or misattribute causes. When they're feeling bad, they concoct a story to explain and justify their negative feelings. In effect, they start with a conclusion and then selectively gather evidence to support it, which is backwards from proper logical reasoning that should start with the evidence and then draw the most logical conclusion from it.

For example, you claim that the only thing you're good for is providing emotional support, which implies that you're good at it. How can we prove this statement? One way would be to examine the results of the support you've given. Did people appreciate the support? Did it help them? Did it change them? If so, you can be said to be good at it.

But apparently what they say doesn't count as evidence. Somehow only you have access to the real evidence. Don't you find it odd that so many of your thought processes come back to you having some magical ability to access a deeper truth that others can't see? You call yourself a failure who is unable to do anything right on one hand, but then insist that you couldn't possibly be wrong when it comes to assessing yourself, on the other hand. This is the kind of contradictory thinking that emotional reasoning gets you mired in.

If being able to empathize isn't a skill, valuable both to oneself and others, then all the great friends, parents, caregivers, educators, coaches, doctors, nurses, vets, counselors, therapists, social workers, artists, musicians, writers, librarians, gardeners, and zookeepers should just delete themselves for their utter uselessness to society. Heck, I should just delete my whole blog right now because I don't get anything from writing this for you, yes?

There are absolutely personal benefits to be had from being empathetic. Through supporting and helping others, you can experience:

the dignity of choosing to be an honorable/humane person

the intimacy of deep and meaningful relationships

the satisfaction of reaping the fruits of your emotional labor

the joy of making a positive difference in the world

the awe of witnessing the realization of greater potential

It seems you can't recognize these benefits because they contradict the failure narrative and the negative emotions you're struggling with. Any evidence that makes you feel good about yourself must be rejected, right? Isn't it odd that you've closed off every path to feeling good about yourself except an impossible one, i.e., living up to some imaginary standard of what you believe all people your age should be? It's almost as though you are intent on believing the worst about yourself, so you set yourself up for failure with unreasonable expectations. But this is emblematic of how emotional reasoning messes up the mind.

People aren't born with great emotional intelligence. It's yet another thing you must learn and practice throughout life, that is, if you don't want your emotions to be out of your control. It doesn't matter when you start learning; it only matters that you start.

(6) Changing the Narrative: There are distinct patterns in our personal narratives, which Jung conceptualized as archetypes. Understanding these patterns from a more objective vantage point can help us craft a narrative that serves us better. At the end of the day, you are the one narrating the story, and you could choose to tell a different story at any time.

To give you an example, if I were to analyze your narrative, I'd say that your perspective is that of an "orphan". Orphans see themselves as rejected children, so their approach to the world is one of neediness for love but also deep resentment/anger about being abandoned. Orphans are prone to feeling: unmoored, confused, ashamed, helpless, hopeless, apathetic, fatalistic.

Of course, it's appropriate to feel: unmoored when you don't have a safe and stable home base to operate from; confused when you don't have enough social support; ashamed when you struggle more than others; helpless when you don't know what to do; hopeless when every attempt fails; apathetic when you get disappointed too many times; fatalistic when the odds seem stacked against you.

Nobody is saying that your feelings are invalid. What matters most is how you interpret the feelings and what you do about them. The problem is that, through emotional reasoning, you take your negative feelings and turn them into cynical judgments and then make decisions that leave you perpetually feeling like an orphan.

A narrative becomes sinister when one starts to derive some kind of egotistical benefit from it, which then breeds resistance against changing it. Are you willing to change your narrative at this point?

For example, many orphans keep telling the orphan story because it allows them to benefit from victimhood. Being a victim has its "perks". Victims have the right to self-pity. They have the right to rage against whatever they feel victimized by. They can also expect special treatment or extra care. As such, you will find that orphans often reject love and stay orphans in the end because they don't want to give up the "perks" of victimhood.

I'm not saying this example applies to you, but have you reflected on why you have a pattern of rejecting people's attempts to console you and provide you with evidence that you are actually a good and worthy person? Have you reflected on why you insist on telling the orphan story when other narratives are readily available to you?

For example, you could choose the "misfit" narrative. There are plenty of people, often INFPs, who march to the beat of their own drum and carve out their own unique path to success in life. Or, you could choose the "creator" narrative. INFPs generally love to use their imagination to come up with new and novel ways to live life outside the box. Why is it that you believe there's only one path available to you, that life is only about living up to society's unimaginative standards?

Or, you could embrace the "caregiver" narrative. It could be quite a heroic story, and it might lead you into a very meaningful and fulfilling career. Caregivers change people's lives for the better, which drives tangible and positive societal change. Yet, you reject this story and call caregiving worthless because you believe it is a "weakness" easily exploited. People mistreating you isn't something for you to be ashamed of. It is the perpetrators of abuse that ought to be ashamed and punished for their immoral behavior. How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for someone else's problem?

With regard to dealing with people, it sounds like you haven't learned about healthy boundaries. Boundary setting is a practical problem that can be addressed with practical solutions. Yet you turn it into some kind of grand existential crisis and make sweeping statements about the world. Do you really want to spend your whole life locked away, living in fear? It might feel good right now because it's safe, but in the long run you will actually be wasting away for not challenging yourself to reach your greater potential.

.

I'm not saying that any of these problems are easy to resolve. But these problems shouldn't be viewed in the traditional sense of needing a "fix" or that something is "wrong" (with you). These kinds of problems I've outlined are actually spiritual calls to change and improve. How do you change? It is through confronting what we lack and what we are afraid of that allows us to grow as human beings.

How can you live up to your own expectations and standards? Maybe a better question to ask is whether you've set the right expectations and standards? If you don't want to always feel bad about yourself, then you have to get up and start doing the things that will lead you to feel better about yourself. And we each have our own path to take to developing self-esteem and self-worth. Once you understand and respect your own individuality, then maybe you can exercise more self-compassion and allow yourself to live and learn at your own pace.

How do you fight back? I don't think it's necessary to "fight". Would you yell and scream and dump a flower in the trash just because it didn't grow as fast as the other seeds you planted? No, hopefully you would give it extra care to ensure that it has everything it needs to grow well. That's how you should be treating yourself. If you didn't grow up in an environment that taught you good life skills, then it is incumbent upon you to learn them as an adult, for the sake of your own well-being.

Life has enough challenges; you don't need to be fighting yourself. Instead of wasting time dwelling in fatalistic narratives, see yourself as a human being who is capable of learning and adapting. Learn to treat yourself well and cut out the noise to focus primarily on picking up the knowledge you need to progress in life, not just academics.

[amynchan]

I'm going to reblog this sometime in August, but I need American College Freshmen to know this:

*cups your face gently* Do Not Take 5-6 classes for your first college semester. This is Not high school. Classes are counted differently here.

Each class has a specified number of units. Most classes are 3 units, some electives are 1 unit, and some classes with a required lab component are 4-5 units, depending on the college and the class itself. If it helps, think of those units like intensity levels.

In college, a full load is 12 units. Twelve. Let me break it down a bit.

A full load means that college should be on-par, time and effort-wise, as a full-time job. That's probably why some of the higher tiers of financial aid require full load; these guys have very little time for extra income to help them get through. A full load can be tough, and you should only go above it if you are absolutely determined to make it through in as few semesters as possible and if you are willing to sacrifice the extra time, mental work, and emotional stamina to get there. A full load should allow students to also participate in extracurriculars, but it is still tough, and you should not go above full load if you are in a sport or a club. No, it's not extra padding "in case you fail a class." No, it's not a security blanket or something to lean on. It is a disaster waiting to happen. You will burn out.

12 units means that the number of units for all classes in one semester should add up to 12. Here are some examples:

Let's say I take a science with a lab like biology (4 units), a mathematics course (3 units), a choir course (1 unit), an intro to college course (1 unit), and a speech class (3 units). 4+3+1+1+3=12 That's 5 classes to get 12 units, but that's because I took two 1 unit courses.

Let's say I take an introduction to art class (3 units), a government class (3 units), an English class (3 units), and a mathematics class (3 units). 3+3+3+3=12 That's 4 classes for 12 units, and that's more common.

Summer course loads are smaller, I believe, so check with your college if you wanted to try taking a summer course to try and get used to the type of work college will be expecting of you. A warning, though: summer classes are really fast and can be hard. I dropped my first one, and there is No Shame in it. It helped me figure out the culture difference between high school and college Real Quick.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I am seeing this pattern in the freshmen that I have in my classes. The ones I have to drop are the ones with 5, 6, 7 classes all at once (a lot of times even while playing a sport! wtf????), and in spreading themselves thin across those classes AND a sport as well, they are failing at everything, including their own health. Guys, I am a teacher, not a torture dungeon master. I want you guys to get your degree and thrive, and you cannot do that if you are working yourself to death.

For my college freshmen just coming out of high school, not knowing any better, still used to having to take 6 classes every year of high school and thinking 6 is gonna be typical or 5 will be a load off, it is not what you think. Please, I am begging you. Look at your load and lighten it if necessary. As you get the hang of college, maybe you can add more on, and maybe you can rub it in my face of "nyeh-nyeh, you were wrong!" Sure, go for it afterwards! But I'm begging you to not burn yourself out.

First semester. 12 units only if you want a full load. Test yourself first with this type of load. Do your best, but don't burn out.

(also, if any first gen students want college tips, tricks, and hacks, I will straight up give them to you for free.)

[youling-the-ghost]

I just got caught up on the bnha manga and boy do I have some thoughts about the future of the series. OBVIOUS SPOILER WARNING IS OBVIOUS

I don't know how to feel about the fact that bnha could be ending soon. On one hand, I'm glad that the final war arc is finally reaching its conclusion, but on the other hand, there are so many loose ends that I'm worried will never be tied up. I'm mostly worried about the future of class 1-A because every scenario that I thought of had something wrong with it:

Class 1-A continues studying at UA as if nothing had happened. This doesn't quite sit well with me because let's be real here, all of class 1-A were all more heroic than most of the Pro Heroes. Having them continue studying at UA would feel almost disingenuous to the entire final war arc. Despite this, I still feel like this is the best option for class 1-A. After everything that has happened, a sense of normalcy would probably be appreciated. Plus I'd love to see Shinsou as part of the hero course in their second year.

Class 1-A graduates from UA by default and all become Pro Heroes. I don't like this scenario for more personal reasons. The main reason why I love bnha so much is its academia aspects; I loved seeing the characters grow like actual students in a genuine school setting. Having the students graduate would be taking the main charm of the show away, at least in my opinion. Although I will say that it would be incredibly exciting to see the students that we've been following for the past 400 chapters become Pro Heroes, so I'm not entirely against this option either.

The hero society crumbles and heroes cease to exist, thereby disbanding UA and class 1-A. Honestly I'm only including this because it's a popular fan-theory, although I don't agree with it at all. It feels like a slap in the face to every student who faught in the war. It would genuinely be such a big disservice to have all of them who risked their lives fighting in the war, only for their dreams to be ripped from them. Another issue is that in my opinion, the heroes themselves isn't even the biggest flaw within the hero society. I feel like the biggest flaw with the whole system is how the general public views heroes. They see Pro Heroes as saints and pillars who can shoulder all of society's burdens and blames. Removing the job of Pro Heroes would just feel like putting a band-aid on an amputated limb, as the core issue of bnha's society shifting its blame onto others wouldn't be resolved. It would also just be scummy to title your series "My Hero Academia" only to remove the concept of heroes by the end of it. I'm not bashing Horikoshi's writing or even fans who support this theory, I just personally think that it's not a very plausible ending for bnha.

Again, I feel like option 1, where class 1-A continue to school as normal (followed by a time-skip when they become Pro Heroes) would be the best and most plausible option. However, I don't think it would be right for things to completely return to normal either.

I really hope that Horikoshi adds an arc after the current one that explores the aftermath of everything, including the public reaction to how hard the heroes faught against the villains and their unwavering spirit, which could also serve as a proper end to the overarching story of the broken hero society.

This is more of a tangent than anything else, but I CAN'T BELIEVE SHIGARAKI JUST DIED LIKE THAT??? I guess it makes me overly optimistic, but I genuinely thought at one point that Midoriya could save Tenko from All For One because it would be an incredibly fitting end for him. Tenko's main motivation behind becoming Shigaraki was the fact that not one person helped him when he was wandering the streets as a traumatised kid, and a common narrative that all of the League of Villains shared was how their fates could have been different had someone reached out a helping hand when they needed it most. Having Midoriya save Tenko from All For One would be such a satisfying ending, not only for the overarching story of the villains, but for those who wish that the villains could be redeemed. It would be such a perfect ending AND IT WAS TAKEN AWAY JUST LIKE THAT?? I don't buy it tbh maybe I'm just delusional but I have a feeling that the whole ordeal with Shigaraki isn't finished yet.

Lastly, IS MIDORIYA QUIRKLESS AGAIN?? Since Shigaraki had One For All when he died, that would mean that the quirk is also gone, right? So would that mean that he would no longer be able to become a hero? I could see this going one of two ways:

Shigaraki's not actually dead or One For All didn't disappear when he died, meaning that Midoriya can continue using it.

One For All really is gone and Midoriya is quirkless again, but he continues striving towards his goal of being a hero despite not having a quirk.

I think both options have potential and I wouldn't be opposed if either option becomes canon. Although, if Shigaraki gets revived for some bullshit reason, I might just riot. I know I literally just said that I'm not against Shigaraki not actually being dead, but that would require a plausible explanation for why he's dead but not actually dead. I think the most plausible explanation right now would be if somehow Shigaraki's quirk mutates and the "restore" part of it returns, which could "restore" his body again. But even that is a little...eh to me. Either way, I'm excited for what's in store.

You thought I was done, well SIKE! Let's talk about Midoriya's dad! Horikoshi has confirmed in 2018 that his identity will be revealed at some point, but it's nearing the end of the final war arc and still not one hint has dropped about Hisashi Midoriya. I feel like this could end up being another "Aoyama is the traitor" situation, where we think that Horikoshi has forgotten about this plot line, only for him to come back to it in full force that makes total sense in retrospect.

The most popular theory right now is that Hisashi Midoriya is actually All For One, and I actually kind of agree with it. I don't think that this is 100% going to be what Horikoshi goes with, but I think it's a pretty interesting idea that also has decent plausibility. Apart from the evidence that other fans have accumulated, there's also a lot of merit in the storytelling that could stem from this reveal:

It has already been established that the public is willing to turn their backs on heroes, no matter how much they sacrifice to ensure the safety of the civillians, if they believe that the hero is "immoral" in some way. The reveal that All For One is Midoriya's dad would be like the "Dabi is Touya" reveal except 10 times worse because this isn't just some villain, it's literally All For One. The public would not take it well, and that could be a great segue to directly addressing all of the issues about the hero society that Horikoshi has been building up.

This also completes the foil contrast between Midoriya and Shigaraki; two kids who were victims of the broken hero society, one born from a villain and one born from a hero, who become the opposite as they're taken under the wing of the greatest hero and the greatest villain. There's just something so poetic about that that I love.

Let's say that Tenko Shimura does get saved by Midoriya, imagine how he'd feel when he finds out that the person who saved him is directly related to the person who caused all of his pain and grief. It would probably break him, and this could lead to such an interesting arc of Tenko re-adjusting to a normal civilian life, dealing with the backlash that's bound to happen, and learning how to trust Midoriya again. It's such a compelling idea that I'm itching to write a fic about it.

But apart from that, there's also the fact that there aren't many other ways that would make the reveal interesting enough to justify it being such a long mystery. Think about it, there's probably a good reason that Horikoshi kept Midoriya's dad a secret for so long, and it would be lame as hell if he just turned out to be some guy. Having All For One be Midoriya's dad seems like one of the few ways for the reveal to be compelling. I could also see Midoriya being related to the Todorokis in some way, but then it would just feel like the "Dabi is Touya" reveal with extra steps.

And with that, I'm finally done with this ridiculously long post. Again, depsite my grievances, I'm super hyped to see what's to come with the series, and I'm genuinely so excited for chapter 424 to come out.

[ext1nctanimals]

(Hope this isn't annoying im running on 3h sleep) no but, i genuinely think one of white students' BIG issues today is the inability to NOT know things. I think it's a big reason for use of AI too- white students end up so petrified of not "getting it" that they close themselves off from any possible academic/literary/etc thing that could possibly challenge them.

And it's fucking disastrous! Bc the student who cannot dare to read a book with more than dialogue and platitudes, who cannot stomach being outside their Colleen Hoover wankfest for more than a second at a time- these people graduate into roles requiring empathy that they have CHOSEN not to learn.

And yes, I know that empathy is not the same as being a good or compassionate person. But the knowledge that the person going into politics/medicine could not manage reading about a perspective other than their own for a single week? It is literally dire.

(Sorry I hope this wasn't annoying. I have thoughts about cultural literacy)

NOOOOOO YOURE SO RIGHT i think that we have killed curiosity in many ways. it’s so important to be like well i don’t know shit about this but i want to. and i think a lot of it is being disrupted by this white fantasy of total innocence and cleanliness where they’re like i can’t get canceled for interacting with Black writers wrong if i never do it! and it’s like. oh my god. take an intellectual risk and try really hard not to hurt other people on purpose.

it particularlyyyyyy pisses me off with baldwin because yes he is Black yes he wrote largely about Blackness but he is so often writing to/for white people. he addresses them directly!!! he starts sentences like “white man, listen to me:” and some of my co-teachers will be like “my white students dont get it so i took it off the syllabus.” WELL TRY HARDER? you’re teaching it badly if your students cannot read an essay directly addressed to people like them and get anything out of it. but i think these teachers are also white and cannot figure out how to approach with curiosity and think they must know everything because they are teachers doling out knowledge to students.

i am here maybe having read more Baldwin than the average suburban 18 year old has (and i was once a suburban 18 year old encountering him for the first time!) but i don’t know everything; i haven’t thought of every way to read him; i haven’t even read everything he’s written. a student encountering him for the first time has something to say. you need to create a classroom where they know this

though there’s also a lot of stem students who believe that they don’t need to cultivate empathy in this way because it won’t make them more employable or help them get into med school. well yeah i guess. but maybe taking a humanities class will keep you from becoming a fucking weapons contractor. idk girl. what the hell

i saw this as a k-12 educator and i see it at the college level now but also the covid learning curve is having horrific consequences for students. and i know it’s not their fault but we are being told (by school districts and by university admin) to lower our expectations of these kids and expect no intellectual rigor and ask for nothing from them. i don’t believe in college being miserable for kicks or anything but i think that 18 year olds are capable of doing hard things, and college is the place to practice that and fall on your face and get up so that you aren’t figuring out how to do it at a job that can fire you. and also where your refusal to touch anything complicated means you will do actual harm. you don’t need to be an intellectual i guess but then don’t come to college if you think learning and being challenged to learn more is stupid lol

idk. i think in many ways i disagree with the tiktok crowd about what the point of reading is. i think you should read to learn Something. and sometimes you read to learn a story and that’s okay! sorry i wrote a five paragraph essay about this lol but the idea that reading should be all pleasure and never challenging kind of makes me wanna kms

[americanivoryblog]

Election 2024 - The American Dream Is Being Lost; Even Among Our Own Citizens

I'm an independent. I've thought about my vote this year and I don't know if I will.

Trump:

-Good for economics/money (Whether you like him or not, he knows how money works)

-He's good for peace among nations and international affairs….he understands America's value/brand.

-Trump is Pro-Life. But, under the circumstances, if the woman is raped or the mother or the child is going to have complications; I do believe the woman has a choice.

But, I'm for legal immigration and I'm against not allowing honest human beings across the world to use America as a refuge away from danger; a safe haven.

I also disagree with the dissolution of Social Security. America's population is stagnant. The population isn't increasing enough equal to the money made by individuals to say people don't need it. And the population isn't decreasing enough to not afford it.

The States in America have enough tax money and profits from gambling alone to afford it. And If people need help with finances until they get themselves on their feet, they should get it. If they need a break from life while dealing with mental health issues, they should get financial help.

If people go through the process for financial help legally and honestly without abusing the system they should get it.

The American Dream ironically due to the direction of penalizing Capitalism and a decline in societal values, morals and selection of who should be rich and who doesn't deserve it is putting the American Dream at risk....which leads me to Biden.

Biden:

-I don't like the path he is setting for people, their futures, their families, education and peace - both within American Communities and Internationally.

-I'm completely against his new proposal of increasing the Capital Gains Tax. If people find a way to financial freedom. Allow it. The Capital Gain Tax is fine the way it is. He's determining who doesn't deserve the American Dream and if they get it, penalize them.

-I'm against his social-class warfare he's creating; in a way which determines who does deserve the American Dream vs. if they get the American Dream, penalize them.

-I'm against him not holding colleges accountable and liable for not helping ALL students of race, religion and politics to get a job in the field they studied.

-I'm against him not holding colleges accountable and allowing college's to allow students and people not of the campus or enrolled at the college to protest on matters that they are completely not only un-educated about; but matters that are encouraging division and enticing violence. This breaks the law of peaceful protests, especially if it is intentional to get or encourage a violent reaction. In the end, taking the luxury of our Freedoms for granted.

It should not be wrong to support your country with an American Flag or frowned upon. The Freedoms this country was founded on, has not been at risk of invasion in over 100 years, the closest anyone has come is Pearl Harbor and 9/11. 2 events on 2 days....there hasn't been years of risk of invasion like most countries in the world.

-He's terrible with foreign affairs.

-He refuses to take a strong position on anything. He can't take a stand and call what is yellow is yellow and what is purple is purple.

On both sides, there is too much allowance for generalizations among people, race, religion, populations, social classes, politics, governance and nations. For example, just because I'm white, doesn't mean I like every white person; if I'm treated poorly by someone, am I supposed to like them? So the thinking and reasoning of just because I'm white, I like every white person is a generalization. And a historical example, yet an extreme example - just because Germany was ran by Nazi's doesn't mean there were no German citizens who were against the Nazi's. There were Germans who wanted out; and if they went against the Nazi party they were murdered.

It's an extreme example, but my point is - You can't generalize people, race, religion, populations, social classes, politics, governance and nations.

(Note: What astonishes me with these college kids who claim to be Hamas supporters; if they showed support for Hamas in Hamas controlled territories/sanctions, but Hamas found out they're American. There's a high chance they'd be murdered or held hostage - for just being an American.

There is some dis-connect with these "Pro-Palestinian" supporters at these college campus' not understanding, that they are representing Hamas in these protests.

And I'm certain that these protestors don't recognize, that there are most likely Palestinians who do not want to be associated with Hamas.

This is the misunderstood pro-active movement being a vehicle for a generalization.)

Generalizations are dangerous; the entire point of disagreement is to come to a sound conclusion and decision. And this country, we have lacked that for decades. The constitution and amendments were based on disagreement to come to a sound conclusion. Laws in which we still live by, that were made based off the Mayflower Compact; the first governance order in America to allow peace is still supposed to be upheld.

There are different factions among people, race, religion, populations, social classes, politics, governance and nations.….and if people aren't educated to understand factions and operations to have disagreements with the goal of a sound conclusion….You will NEVER get a unified nation….It will always be division….even to its form into government as saying well they're Republican or they're Democrat…..no, you can't generalize like that….there are Far Right, Far Lefts, Right, Lefts and Moderates in each and believe it or not there are Rights, Lefts and Moderates who do agree on things and want to make sound decisions; but what does the media cover and promote?

The generalization of division simply made as Republican vs. Democrat.

It's absolutely ridiculous and completely uneducated.

America is the place of refuge, the melting pot. An idea and dream to not only be safe, but a land of opportunity. That is being lost. The American dream, even among our own nation and home grown citizens is being lost. The sense of ownership especially with land and homes; the ownership to be part of the American dream is disappearing. Especially when people can't afford homes and land anymore.

And the media, whether left, right or moderate outlets refuse to educate the people about anything and continually allow generalizations to encourage decision making.

It is all re-active reporting with an agenda "that appears" to encourage pro-active decision making for the future, thus making people feel they are making a difference while it is simply re-active reporting with an agenda to create the upcoming future.

People don't realize, that the media is simply pre-programmed. Do not think for one second that the media (whether left, right or moderate) hasn't planned the programming for future reporting ahead of time for that week or even, maybe that month. Literally in the guide of your cable television; you can see each outlet now labeling their shows as Episode 1, 2 and so on.

And all the while the journalism is absolutely terrible; simply just keywords to keep a viewer watching while reporting limited information for a controlled perspective without giving the audience truth among both sides to allow the viewer the free will to make their own decision and come to their own conclusion.

This is not journalism. This is not un-biased reporting. Honestly, it should be illegal.

And I truly believe, if the media took the initiative to recognize this. People would be empowered to attempt to be unified, rather than being empowered by differences.

Media outlets focusing on Trump's trial as a priority while ignoring real conversation American's should be having and being aware of true issues that effect the future without an un-biased opinion should be a priority. America is going to enter a fragile state.

There is no pro-active reporting without agendas. The Daily Show worked in the early 2000's to make jokes of political ridiculousness; it was popular and worked then....And tension in America is so tight, the jokes are out.

I just read an article on Jerry Seinfeld and within so many words, due to the current state - it is hard to be a comedian...people need comedy. But, tensions are too high and everything is offensive.

So, whether its the media or the politicians. You just can't generalize everything. Life is complicated, but you have to call the color what it is.

I'm not defending anyone who comes to your yard sees the dandelions there yellow, believes that your dandelions are purple while they're in your yard trying to convince you the dandelions are purple....when they're yellow.

I can't get behind that.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb:

I was his toxic obsession. He was my sadistic monster.

Nora:

When I took a job at St. Thorns university as a psychology professor, I encountered something—someone—unexplainable. Fascinating. And deadly.

Alec Briar had the eyes of a killer.

He’s a botanist who would rather rot in his greenhouse alone than deal with students, professors, or me. When a monster stalks me, our relationship becomes corrupted in ways that bring us closer together, for better or worse. He has secrets—ones that will destroy him if he discovers the truth…

Our minds twist to protect our souls, and Alec’s is the most warped of all. The only way to save him is to hurt him and accept the damnation doing so will bring.

Review:

She's the new psychology professor at a university with a dark past and he's the thorny botanist professor... together their obsession with one another begins to spiral and the monsters on the campus will begin to follow them... good thing they're both monstrous themselves. Nora is the new psychology professor at St. Thorns, and after a dinner party that ends with three professors mysteriously murdered... she knows something is going on at her school. She doesn't believe in monsters yet something in the woods is watching her... following her, but it better watch out, Nora has thorns all of her own. Alec Briar is the thorny botanist and fellow professor on campus. He's as terrifying as he is obsessed with hunting down and killing monsters. Yet from the moment Nora and Alec meet, an instant obsession begins to brew between them, their volatile and monstrous natures calling to one another. It also doesn't help that there is an actual monster in the woods, a killer secret society, and the fact that both Nora and Alec's body counts are beginning to rise. This book was SO GOOD. It's perfect parts extremely unhinged couple part autumnal dark academia vibes. I loved just how unhinged both Nora and Alec were, they truly matched each other's freak. This was such a fun and delightful read and one I will be recommending for every monster lover out there!!!

Release Date: September 10,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Luna Literary and Clio Evans for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[high-voltage-rat]

The SDF Reliant crew have lowkey just become pseudo-OCs for me at this point. That's kinda what happens when characters have so few appearances in canon, but I still find it really funny how much I've just said "my city now". I decided I want to yell about them, so here's some of the headcanons I've come up with.

In mechquest, houses are the big question all GEARS students grapple with. My HCs on this front, based on vibes and fleshed out with added headcanons:

Starbuck originally kind of just joined Wolfblade because he wanted to look badass, but then found that the house of leaders who value helping others really fit with his love of mentoring other students. It was actually Xaria that convinced him to be bold and apply for his TA position with Denara- which he is forever thankful for.

Sally tends to throw herself into everything she does 100%, burning short and bright. She's prone to hyperfixation- eating the same thing for weeks on end until she gets sick of it, investing herself in yet another hobby that will end up in the hobby graveyard, etc. She wanted people who would match her intensity, so she joined Wolfblade. Now whenever she gets into another rabbit hole she usually is able to find a fellow housemate to "yes, and" her. This is only SOMETIMES a problem.

Dooder, as a certified chill jokester, was naturally drawn to Mystraven. He firmly believes in the importance of fun, and is always finding ways to drag the rest of the crew into relaxing and enjoying themselves every now and then. Sometimes that's a mini prank war, sometimes it's "accidentally" buying too much pizza to eat by himself, sometimes it's dragging everyone to a night out at the SC Lounge.

River doesn't actually know why she felt drawn to Runehawk, at first. Sure, she's always been a bit more nerdy than some of her friends, but she's not really as intensely academic as others in the house. She ends up very glad she joined, however. While she initially didn't put much stock in the house system at all, after the crystal asteroid incidents she discovers she has latent psychic abilities that she has no idea how to regulate. With the help of fellow Runehawks' research, she eventually learns to control her powers and bolster her already impressive piloting skills via their signature mana drive.

In my fic, I also don't plan on having my hero doing 5 different careers: Ravyn is a neurologist AND actively doing another degree, they don't have time to be delivering pizza. Instead:

Dooder works for Mecharoni- he finds the actual pizza-making pretty meditative, and any time customers are assholes he just amps up his chill demeanor until it's genuinely off-putting to whoever he's dealing with. He's the kind of guy who writes jokes or does drawings on the inside of your pizza box.

Sally works alongside the SPD as a conflict meditor and harm reduction support staff. Mostly, she thinks Chief Duncan is an idiot, and decides she can do a better job herself- so she sticks herself into his business and does. She also regularly does supply runs and odd jobs for all the businesses around Soluna- she's weirdly good friends with H.A.L.

River volunteers at the hospital sometimes, but more prominently works for the museum or with Mysterious Johnson to catch ghosts. She regularly invites the others to join her on museum jobs- and they eventually start investigating dusty old ruins together as group bonding 'field trips' whenever they have the chance between missions.

Starbuck has his TA job, and he's very happy with it, but in his early years he also worked for Mecharoni, and also did a brief stint as a stockboy for the Knife and Spork.

Some additional miscellaneous HCs:

Dooder tends to "pack bond" pretty easily- he actually tends to personify his mech, telling it that he loves it and regularly polishing it up nice. Sometimes he sings to it. He cries when it gets damaged and will mourn when it is eventually destroyed. He's had the same shitty pillow since he was like 9 and it's totally flat by this point, but he can't throw it out because it's always been by his side and he doesn't want it to feel abandoned. He would absolutely create stabby the roomba.

Due to the previously mentioned hobby graveyard, Sally has a lot of hidden talents she can whip out at a moment's notice to impress people. She's taken a course in mixology, she did a brief stint in cake decorating, she can knit and crochet and embroider pretty well, she knows how to do carpentry and plumbing, she's done dance lessons in break, ballroom, swing, salsa, tap, highland, ballet- even a few niche cultural dances from other planets. You name a hobby, and there's a 50% chance she's tried it.

River was a track and field star before she attended GEARS. Her long-distance running game was always top-tier, but she also regularly placed podium in sprints and relay events. She finds running to be good for clearing her head, so it's her go-to whenever she's stressed. One can tell how hard a week she's been having based solely on how much time she's spent on the treadmill.

Starbuck really loves giving people (and their mecha) nicknames and callsigns- the second he meets someone he starts watching for inspiration for their new title. Sally's callsign is 'Apple Core' (because of her regular consumption of the fruit in question, plus insisting she's hardcore), River's is 'Bubbles' (a play on her name, plus a joke after she burped loudly over all-hands comm), Dooder's is, much to his displeasure, just 'Dude' (though not enough displeasure to accept the alternative of 'Doughboy').

Sally runs competitive arm wrestling tournaments (mostly populated by Wolfblades). She manages the betting pools, and always throws her hat in the ring, too- only to be obliterated every time. Defeat only makes her try harder next time.

Dooder doesn't like to sing in front of other people- unless he's drinking, then he just won't stop. He has a really nice voice, but gets embarrassed if anyone tries to bring up his singing to compliment it. Everyone always looks forward to him pulling up to karaoke nights at the SC lounge.

Starbuck is notoriously bad at drawing- during his tutorials, any time he attempts to draw something on the blackboard, students make a game of "guessing" what he's trying to do like a game of pictionary. He's actually considered using stencils, but "Starbucktionary" has become too beloved, and the students would riot if he did.

River is a closet foodie. She cooks really well, but is a perfectionist who finds it very stressful, so doesn't do it very often. She's often on the hunt for new places to eat, though, and will try pretty much anything once. She keeps a notebook of reviews for different dishes at the places she frequents- though they're just for her personal benefit. She's still searching for the best steak in Soluna City.

[echoghost1]

Five Fav Fics

got tagged by @jackdaw-sprite to pick 5 of my favorite fics that I've written! (here's their list)

this is gonna be hard cuz I have over 100 to chose from... ( ╯□╰ )

at least they don't have to be complete right?

Under the read more are the ones I chose

These aren't in order, just five that I picked

Carnival Mythika

Summary: What starts as a fun day at the carnival takes a turn after an innocent mistake. Danny gets separated from his friends at the carnival and asks the fortune teller for help to put him in the right direction, or maybe just back to the place he last saw them, the Cryptid Zoo.

Reason: this fic is my baby 😭 it's practically a novel and it really won't be that hard to change a few things and make this an original story because of how much of an AU it is. It's not done yet and it's taking me forever to write mostly because I keep having to take breaks because the emotional parts are so fricken heavy. Danny goes through it. he has a horrible time and it's all emotional trauma If you haven't read it, which it's an over 60k incomplete work with lots of angst and heavy topics, so I don't blame you. BUT if you wanna just read ch. 3 and let me know what you think （*＾-＾*）

Lively Conversations In Dead Man’s Land

Summary: Danny goes on a voluntary field trip to help his suffering grades.

Reason: This is one of the first fics I ever wrote way back in 2013 during PhannieMay (now DannyMay). The prompt was Western and I just went ham with a fluffy GrayGhost field trip fic. I had so much fun writing it and I still enjoy it today.

Quoth the Librarian, “But I’m Alone?”

Summary: Eleanor loved her job at the school library. She always made sure to come in early to make sure everything was just right before the students came. Today something beat her there.

Reason: One of the many fics I wrote for my first phic phight (2021) that I liked but it didn’t get much traction. The premise is simple, just a “what happened to this side character after a scene from the show” + making up a random OC that may never be used again.

Parallels

Summary: It's amazing the things you learn on a field trip.

Reason: My take on a reveal fic where Maddie & Danny try to have a normal mother-son bonding time during a field trip only for Danny to get triggered by something innocuous. A big part of the reason I’m proud of it was because I figured the trigger was so obvious but every comment that mentioned it was surprised by how perfect it was despite having never thought of it themselves.

A Night in La Casa del Sol

Summary: La Casa del Sol is an abandoned Bed and Breakfast on the North end of town, which like any good dilapidated building, has the reputation of being haunted. Paulina may act like an airhead, but she can still put two and two together. If her favorite ghost only comes out of hiding when there's another ghost around, she sure hopes her Abuela was right about the place. Danny is fist clueless, and then just confused, but mostly wants to make sure Paulina doesn't get hurt. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Another sleepless night?

Reason: Even though it took me a while to add the final chapter to this one I think it was worth the wait. I had fun with a more classic haunted house type horror of Paulina and Danny exploring the old B&B together. That and that last chapter man, I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t read it or if you did and forgot (it has been three years since I posted that final chapter lol)

And honorable mention goes to...

I think it would be illegal for me not to mention jackdaw’s favorite bedtime story 😜

Lost and Found

Summary: His parents had always warned him about the dangers in the woods.

Reason: Fae AU! Lost Time flavored Fae AU even! Also, like I said, Jackdaw really enjoys it If you don’t believe me check the comment section on that fic But I also really like it too. It was fun to write and it had my two favorite things, an au and taking an idea someone else did but putting my own spin on it! Fun fact: the final spoken bit of dialogue was actually the very first line that I thought of. It’s what made me write this story. It was just so good. And I’m happy to report that it did in fact pay off

[sevicia]

I 🩷 whining & bitching & moaning

yk how yesterday I was the one who ended up giving Mila the pill? well my sister's awake now and decided she was gonna do it (didn't even ask me) while I handed her treats and it took a bunch of tries too. & I don't think I would've gotten it 1st try either, but I know exactly how it goes when I wanna do something she doesn't think I'm capable of: she just doesn't let me do it. it's happened time & time again so I didn't even ask this time cause literally what's the point .....

everyone in my house constantly infantilizes me and genuinely seems to believe I can't do anything by myself. I'm going to a thing from uni about 1st year students (such as me) familiarizing themselves w/ the school campus & other introductory activities on Tuesday & my mom really anxiously told me we (her & I) should try to go to uni before that just so I'd know how to get there, when the route I have to take is literally just home -> bus stop -> metro -> get off -> walk 5 min in a straight line. I told her no, that I would be fine just getting there by myself on Tuesday and she reluctantly agreed.

+ a few days ago I overhead my dad talking about gifting me some money for some reason I'm not sure about, and my sister very seriously told him to just give it to our mom instead so she'd manage it for me, and he agreed. Her argument was that I'd just spend it too quickly which I understand cause I did that all the time when I was in highschool. Which was 3 years ago.

IDK like even when I try to do something I'm usually not capable of doing (mainly cooking), I'll ask a bunch of questions to make sure I'm doing it right to the point they get annoyed w/ me & just do it themselves like "you're too nervous just be more confident and do it already" meanwhile whenever I did things "confidently" in the past I always managed to fuck them up somehow and then get treated like I'm stupid and no one has made the connection that maybe when you constantly tell someone they're stupid while they're trying something new, they'll just stop trying .... ? because they don't want to be called stupid .... ?

It's also made me actually really adverse to try anything by myself cause I find I start thinking "someone else's gonna do it and even if I tried I'd just make it worse", but I don't feel that way when I'm home alone / away from home, it's literally just when I know I'm being judged by people who know me and are around me all the time

& when I manage to get something right I sometimes get praised but most of the time it's just "well you should've been able to do that a long time ago!" and like I know that it's true and that I'm not a dog that should get a treat for every new trick he learns but I just don't want it to be dismissed like that yk .... like just tell me "good job" or smth

I also think getting treated like a child all the time really makes my perception of myself as inherently unattractive / underisable a lot worse because I've just started to believe that everyone sees me as a kid so no one in their right mind would ever be attracted to me ykwim ? the fact that I'm relatively short doesn't help either

the way I get treated like a stupid child while also having adult expectations put on me is always so confusing, like I'm being pulled in 10 different directions and I enjoy none of them

+ I feel like even MORE of a brat for even complaining about this in the first place cause I've heard people say "man I WISH I had someone who did everything for me" and it just makes me feel horrible bc maybe I should be grateful that they care & worry about me so much and I'm just whining over nothing again

"how are you gonna survive when I'm gone ?!?!" from my mom and "you'll literally just die the second you move out" from my sister and "don't even try, it's too dangerous" from my dad and I just keep quiet because I can't even prove them wrong because they're not wrong. I CAN'T do anything by myself and I AM slow at everything (which is just me trying to avoid calling myself stupid) and I AM lazy and have no common sense.

maybe this is the reason most of my daydreams consist of me being like 30 and living on my own lol

[ginger-canary]

Blue Roses & Nannerfly Lights

2474 words

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Lucanus Aer'Tea & Jolene Cybin | Mee-Maw, Alanis & Jolene Cybin | Mee-Maw, Alanis/Jolene Cybin | Mee-Maw, Lucanus Aer'Tea & Alanis

Characters: Jolene Cybin | Mee-Maw, Alanis (Not Another D&D Podcast)

Additional Tags: Valentine's Day, do i look like i care that it's march this is a valentine's day fic, This ship started as wouldn't it be funny now here we are, Friends to Lovers

Summary: It's Valentine's day and Jolene misses her home festival. Instead of going home, she brings part of it here as best she can. After all, Alanis is here.

Read on AO3 here or take it from the cut!

Admittedly, Jolene didn’t understand that much about high elven society. There seemed to be a lot of semantics. Entire lectures spent talking about how one spell component isn’t the other even though they’re both green gems. Wizards weren’t sorcerers and apparently that difference was important. But to her they were both just squishy spellcasters who didn’t spend a lot of time outside. The most confusing part of high elven society? The way everything has to be a competition.

Jolene resisted the urge to throw her hands up as she watched a group of illusion students compare their Silent Images and critique each other’s details.

“What’s with the stink-eye?” Alanis popped out of the shadows, leaning against the wall of the tower Jolene had set her backpack against. Her hair was a mess and there were stains on her robes but she was grinning like a maniac.

“Sweet Melora, I told you not to do that! Who even taught you how to shadow step?” She clutched her chest.

Alanis laughed. “Don’t worry about it. So why do you look like you bit into a lemon?”

“Wizards are ridiculous,” Jolene muttered. “The competitive thing’s pissin’ me off again.” She gestured to the illusion students.

Sitting down with her back against the tower, Alanis nodded. “I mean… It’s not something we’re all born with- it’s what’s taught here.” She scratched the back of her neck. “What’s taught at every wizard school. They believe competition helps students improve.”

Jolene huffed, wrinkling her nose. “What it does is breed jealousy and distrust. How would you make friends if at any point they may try to take your job or place in the world for themselves?”

Alanis shrugged. “You find the ones that aren’t infused with hatred and a drive to win at any cost. Or you don’t befriend high elf wizards. You know there’s warlocks and sorcerers around too, right?”

“I technically know they’re there. Don’t ask me to pick ‘em out of a line though.” She sat down next to Alanis, bumping her leg against hers. “So wanna tell me why you look like a mess?”

“Are you going to tell Lucanus what I did?” She raised an eyebrow.

Jolene snorted. “He’ll figure out it was you without my help. So what is it?”

“Well.. wait. Do you know about Valentine’s day here?”

“I know what Valentine’s day is, that’s everywhere. I dunno what y’all do with it but I know about the day.”

“Right, so. Here they handle it by having red and pink food with heart shapes in the dining hall, but also they let people send out roses to people they want to appreciate. Except it’s a bunch of competitive high elves- for the most part- so you know that’s not exactly how it’s being used.”

Jolene raised her eyebrows. “So how is it being used?”

Alanis groaned and rolled her eyes. “There’s some guys who send cursed roses to people who’ve rejected them or bested them in some way. They can explode and leave splatters of paint over the person which’ll stay for several days. Sometimes it’s embarrassing, sometimes they pick something more painful. Either way it’ll be a bad experience for the victim.”

“And none of the staff has ever done somethin’ about it?”

“They try. But the thing about magical roses is that you can’t just detect magic the problem away. Plus they’re pretty sneaky,” she said with a grudging respect.

“So what’s your solution then?”

“Oh, I’ve made it so that anyone who tampers with a rose, casts any kind of spell on it will get the paint splatters.”

Jolene tilted her head from side to side. “Seems like a good enough solution to me. So why shouldn’t Lucanus know about it?”

“He doesn’t love when I mess with things that are ‘none of my business’ and ‘are school property’,” Alanis faked a fancy elf voice.

“Fair enough. I look forward to seeing your results.”

“So what do you do for Valentine’s day?” She leaned forward.

“Ah, for us it’s more or less a festival.” She paused. “Of course I’m here now so I’ll be missing the festival.”

“What does the festival look like?”

Jolene went on to describe the festival full of flowers, romance and silly pranks. The more she talked the more she wondered if maybe she should go home just for a visit. Homesick isn’t something she felt often, but once in a while she missed the simpleness of the Crick. Plus, it was a lot harder to have fun around a bunch of stuck up high elves.

“Wow,” Alanis sighed, propping her head up on her hand, elbow against her knee. “That sounds awesome. I wish I’d gone there as a kid, instead of being forced to give everyone in my class a valentine’s day card when no one else did.” When Jolene raised her eyebrows, Alanis added, “My parents are nicer than the average high elves.”

“I figured.” The bones of an idea were starting to form in the back of her mind. “So other than watching chaos unfold, what’re ya doin’ for Valentine’s day?”

Alanis shrugged. “I dunno, homework probably?”

Jolene rolled her eyes. “Just meet me in the garden at noon, you’re free then right?”

“Dang, you know my schedule. Alright, I will.” She waved at some other wizards in the distance, starting to get up from her spot. “I gotta go work on a project, but I guess I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Bring the themed foods from the lunch hall! Lucanus got tired of my stealing them!” She called after her.

“If he gets mad I’m blaming you!” Alanis yelled back over her shoulder.

Jolene grinned, grabbing her backpack and slinging it over her shoulders. It was time to do some preparing, and she had no clue where to start.

~~~

That next morning, Jolene arrived in the gardens with a backpack full of items and MawMaw on her leash. The possum didn’t quite agree with it but it was a long leash, and Jolene needed to focus. After attaching the end of the leash to one of the normal trees, she dropped her backpack with a thunk.

From there she pulled nannerfly string lights, a large picnic blanket, and her spellcasting focus. “Now MawMaw,” she said, crouching down holding the nannerfly string lights.

MawMaw stopped scrambling around and looked up at her.

“Can you hang these up for me?” Jolene held out the string lights. “Be careful with the nannerflies, we don’t want them to escape.”

With a serious nod, MawMaw took one end of the nannerfly string into her maw, then scrambled up the tree.

While MawMaw arranged the lights, Jolene spread her picnic blanket out under the tree, then took her spellcasting focus. Near the trunk of the tree, she pressed her hands against the soil and focused on all the flowers she wanted to see. Casting Plant Growth, Calla Lilies, Dahlias, Mask flowers and Bleeding Hearts burst out of the ground, spreading over the remainder of the open space and blooming right before her eyes.

Casting Grasping Vine took care of her other nannerfly string lights, and lastly she cast Druid Grove to make sure the area wouldn’t be trampled by random wizards. Sitting down on the picnic blanket, she pulled the last items from her backpack and spread them out. A flask of crick water (naturally), some sodas from home, and a tupperware of homemade jambalaya. Melora, it had been hard to find a crawdad around these parts. Sitting back, she admired her work when MawMaw interrupted her with a noise.

MawMaw had managed to intertwine the nannerfly fairy lights with the branches just so that they were in the shape of a heart and was looking down at Jolene proudly.

“Thank you, buddy.” She reached a hand out and MawMaw scrambled down to receive the pets. “Now we wait, hm?”

It didn’t take long for Alanis to appear, her robes once again a mess but grinning. Behind her floated a rose. “Hey, happy Valentine’s day. Thanks for the rose.”

Jolene grinned. “Course. Happy Valentine’s day.” She got up and hugged Alanis.

“So, I uh.” Alanis tucked her hand inside her robes and pulled out a rose that was stained a violent blue. “I tried to send you a rose.. But the rose didn’t want to go to you because you’re not technically a student… so it cursed me.” She held out the rose, blushing.

“You were pricked by your own thorns,” she laughed. “Really that seems about right.” She eyed the large splotches of blue dye on Alanis’ robes. “I still appreciate it.” Taking the blue rose, she pulled Alanis down onto the picnic blanket. “What’d ya think? It’s hard to have a place like this reflect the Crick but in this garden, ‘s pretty good.”

Alanis smiled. “It’s so pretty. I love the lights and the flowers, it must’ve taken a lot of effort. Oh, I brought some food.” She slung her backpack off her shoulders and started digging through. “They didn’t love it but, y’know.” She shrugged. From a tupperware she pulled some heart shaped donuts, raspberry turnovers, and a piece of red velvet cake.

Jolene wrinkled her nose. “Damn they put a lot of sugar in these, huh?”

“I mean, yeah. They want it to taste good,” she laughed.

From behind her back Jolene grabbed her jambalaya. “Listen, things can taste great without being sweet. Ye ever had this?”

“What is it?”

She popped the lid off the tupperware. “Jambalaya. Try it, I made it this morning.” Jolene held out a spoon.

Alanis tentatively took a bite. “I like it. It’s different from what I'm used to, but it’s nice.”

“We eat this a lot back home… It’s basically impossible to make here, though.”

“Why?”

“Y’all barely have crawdads, I had to go fishing and it was weirdly hard.”

She raised her eyebrows. “What does fishing look like for you?”

Jolene mimed sticking her hand into a river. “You just- you just grab one. I had to lurk over your ancient moat for so long!”

Alanis snorted. “Your definition of fishing is fascinating. Thank you for showing me your food, I wish we were shown more cultures here. They’re so obsessed with being high elves and being wizards.” She rolled her eyes. “I guess when you live for 500 years you have a long ass time to get attached to your own culture and ignore others.”

Jolene shrugged. “I left the Crick for a reason. It’s great to appreciate your own culture but if you want to see anything outside of it, it’s easier to find that outside of your home.” She grabbed her own spoon.

“That’s fair.” Alanis eyed Jolene. “Sometimes the culture comes to you, though.”

The two ate the jambalaya in a comfortable silence, stealing looks and pointing out cool details in the garden. When the jambalaya was gone, Alanis pulled out her wizardry book.

“What’re you doing?”

“Looking for a spell to fix the sugary things I found for us so you can also enjoy them.” She flipped the pages.

She smiled quietly, watching Alanis’ eyes narrow in concentration, speeding through the book.

“Ugh, pages and pages of spells but nothing to alter this food,” Alanis sighed. “I could set it on fire or freeze it?”

Jolene laughed. “I could just send MawMaw to go find some hot sauce?”

“Yeah, that seems like a better idea.” She slammed her spellbook shut.

With MawMaw off to find some hot sauce, Jolene and Alanis cracked the Crick sodas and settled against the large tree. Alanis wrapped her arm around Jolene, idly playing with the straps of Jolene’s overalls. “You know, I’m really glad I got to know you.”

Jolene leant her head against Alanis’ shoulder. “Feeling’s mutual. I know I haven’t been around for that long but this place isn’t particularly friendly to me and I think it would’ve been a lot worse without you.” She looked at the blue stains on her robes and grinned. “Not just any wizard would take a paint bomb to send me a rose.”

“Laundry day is going to suck,” Alanis said as she plucked at her robes, showing that her leggings were also stained. “I ruined so many clothes this week.”

“I do that all the time. Not with magic paint but, y’know.” She traced the stains. “I think you look more fun like this.”

“I will admit I’ve tried to go to class in my messy robes and they didn’t love it.” Alanis shrugged.

Jolene rolled her eyes. “Well, I do. I think you look cool as hell.” She tangled her fingers in the robes.

Alanis made eye contact with her. “That’s all that matters.”

She stared at Alanis’ mouth. “At the risk of readin’ this moment wrong… Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

Jolene grabbed Alanis by the front of her robes, swinging a leg over her lap and sat down on her lap. She traced Alanis’ jawline and smiled. “Oh Melora, you are so fun,” she whispered. And she kissed her.

Alanis tangled one hand in Jolene’s red hair, the other pulling her closer by the overall strap when they broke apart. “Fuck, Jolene,” she sighed.

She grinned and bit her lip. “I mean…” Her eyes flicked down, taking in the way their bodies pressed together.

Before Alanis could respond, MawMaw reappeared.

She scrambled into view and dropped a bottle of hot sauce onto the picnic blanket with a thud.

“Always with the incredible timing, MawMaw.” But Jolene reached out and scratched MawMaw behind the ears.

MawMaw chittered, then went for the red velvet cake without a single moment of hesitation.

“Oh no, is that good for her?” Alanis tentatively reached out a hand to attempt to pull that cake away- at the risk of being bit.

Jolene caught her wrist. “It’s fine, she’s my animal companion, she’s made of sturdier stuff.” But she did make sure to tuck the other sweets into the tupperware before MawMaw could eat them all. “Besides, I think she’ll like it more than us.”

She placed her hand on Jolene’s hip, hooking a finger into the belt loop. “I’ll admit my focus has shifted.”

Jolene moved her hand to the neck of Alanis’ robes, fingertips brushing against her skin. “Alanis…”

“Yeah?” She made eye contact.

“I’ve been learnin’ y’all like things to be private. Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” Her face heated up, blush spreading across her cheeks.

Alanis smiled. “I’m good. I got all I need right here.” She pulled Jolene in for another kiss.

Underneath the large tree in the college garden, invisible to most, lay a very full possum on a picnic blanket. Next to that, Alanis and Jolene kissed each other like there was no tomorrow. After all, it was Valentine’s day.

[tomyo]

Since it's a movie already about a bunch neurodivergents, please bear with me as I go off about micro culture and The Mitchells vs. the Machines.

So a lot of people can already note the memes in the movie are very dated internet humor. I don't think I saw a joke that lived past 2011 in it. But I can't help but to also feel cognitive disconnect at the idea Katie is supposed to be born in 2003 when everything about her and her family makes her a millennial.

Before I get way too deep into it, this is just more observation on teen identity than some shitty which generation is better debate. Sociology is extremely fascinating and it's just fun to pick apart elements in film.

So like I was saying, TMvsTM feels very, early 2010s. Pretty much the only thing taking it out of that element is the wide use of smartphones and mommy blogging but even then, you could push back the time frame to 2011 and still be pretty on the mark. Siri had just come out and iPads the year before which at the time was treated as the most unneeded invention. It's pretty much around this time that the smart tech boom took off and we started to see movies make the "big tech company" story. You know exactly the one: A Steve Jobs character, some joke about a needless technological advance, the main characters wowed by shiny expensive devices, and in the end usually we realize silicon valley are too disconnected from humanity. Honestly though if you've seen the Soylent guy, they might be right. An aspect I wonder about is how LA and SanFran feel about each other. TMvsTM gave the slightest inkling of bitter resentment towards it's northern neighbor and I can't help but to wonder if the constant use of the Steve Jobs storyline is maybe a hint of a general feeling LA has.

Speaking of LA, it's pretty clear that Katie is going to Calarts. One of the reasons I think it's so dated is Animator's tendencies to rely on their own experiences; Alex Hersh making a story about twins when he himself is a twin or JG Quintel literally just making himself the main character in every series he makes. Michael Rianda was born in 1984, and while that puts him on the earlier end of millennials, it isn't hard to believe the late 00s would be a defining era of his life. Many young film and arts students flocked to YouTube in it's early years to share their creations. Again the aforementioned Alex made off the wall, Nathan of Nathan for you's various skits, and so on. And again looking at the memes used, they are specifically the type that would have been created by these film students.

So let's look at Katie's art. It tends to be mixed media collages with a sketchy hand drawn style that makes you think of Napoleon Dynamite, and the movies themselves are reminiscent of campy action hero films. She puts in a lot of dazzle effects, typography tends to have these perspective lines, and the artwork flourishes tend to be stilted and looping almost as if they were gifs on Tumblr. There's a distinct one during a still frame and I swear to God, the jittery movements while flipping it back and forth feels like it has to be a Homestuck reference. Either way, all of this points towards 80s revival, something that was in full force in the 00/early 10s. You could pull a page out of my sophmore notebook and it would easily fit in. Katie distinctly draws like a millennial teenager. This isn't to say that there are zoomers drawing this way but I think No Burnham's 8th Grade shows a nice contrast in art style.

I remember seeing this scene and the old familiarity of seeing younger kid's art in fandom tags. Where late millennials where inspired by early millennials' 80s nostalgia and adventure time adjacent cartoons, early zoomers were in turn influenced by late millennials' new grounds/YouTube flash animations and 'Calarts style' series. We each appropriate and remix our predecessor's works and the general style morphs as we go on.

The mitchells environment is also distinctly 80s. They love in a worn down one story and the interior has a lot of kitsch with it's wooden panelling and furniture, courdory couch, and even a hand knit blanket. Naturally their car is also from the 80s. We can extrapolate in general that the Mitchells are not the richest family. If you pay attention to the furniture; it's pretty clear that most was likely made by Rick. On the other hand, Calarts tuition is 50k and in one of the most expensive cities to live in and that never seems to come up as an issue. However there's one thing I'd like to point out, major property tends to reflect when a kid is born. For instance, growing up my mum drove a 90s ford taurus where my younger cousin's family drove 2000s vehicles. Cars in particular can only make it so far before needing to be replaced and that tends to hit in a 15-20 year period of regular use. Despite being called a 1993 model, the Mitchell's car looks extremely 80s and a listicle even identifies if looking more like a 1988 GM celebrity. We can see how Rick and Linda struggled financially when Katie was born but it's still a surprise they have it in 2021, 33 years and definitely over 200k miles. I also want to point to Boyhood for a moment. A great aspect of this film is we see time as it happens, and we get an honest image of life in the mid 2000s. Prior to the housing bubble, we had a period of middle class affluence where consumerism was at an all time high. The image of suburban living would have been a beige carpeted room, Ikea furniture, and a saggy microsuede couch in front of a theatre system.

[izel25]

Be The Key To Thy Children's Success Not A chain Who Will Tie Them Until they Give up

They called youth as the hope for the future  but the one who should be there to support, guide and provide their needs. Parents who are actively involved in their children's education see improvements in their children's attendance, behavior, academic performance, social skills, and school readiness.

A lifelong love of learning, which experts believe it s essential for longterm success, its also more solidly cultivated in these youngsters as a result of parental participation.Based on the comments I got on my petition, some of they stated and believe that being in touch with your family will help you to grow as a person because Family is the first teacher of children so the family is the one who will be the one to identify what kind of person, what are skills and talents or f a child.

Every parent wants a good and stable future for their children. No one wishes to harm their children. Sometimes there are parents who are too concerned and afraid that their child will fail they starting to control and they as a parents are the ones who pick or make decisions for their children which is wrong because the children lose the right to choose and be themselves on what do they want to be. Many  graduated students and are about to graduate from courses they don't want but their parents want for them. Others have no other choice so they are forced to take a course or job that they have because they are afraid of disappointing their parents or making them angry with them. Because of such events or situations, many young people stop their studies and choose to work to be away from their families. Others lose the desire to study or work because they really can't, they don't like the tasks and duties that come with that course and occupation.

In conclusion, its not bad to guide and re-correct our children as long as you know your limits and let them free to whatever  they wanted to be. Lets just support and help them to achieve their dream, goals and grow as an individual. Failing is part of a success and it can teach and change anyone.

[seitmai]

Once again, read more it is

Bradley's gaze was soft as he met your eyes. "Nothing's wrong. I'm with you." 

🥰🥰🥰

Before you could dwell on it too much, Bradley whispered, "I think about you all the time, Gorgeous. I think about fucking you on my couch and feeding you breakfast. I think about taking you back to Salvatore's for every special occasion. I think about your letters and your pretty face and diamond rings. And the future." His words were warm and intentional, and you shivered even as he pulled you closer. "Bradley," you said so softly, you could barely hear yourself. "I think about all of that, too."

They are just perfect for each other 🥰🥹

Some of the tension seemed to melt away from his body as you ran your fingers through his hair. His lips skimmed along yours as he said, "Maverick told me I reminded him of my dad today. And that you reminded him of my mom. This is all because he can tell how head over heels I am for you. Just like my parents were for each other."

Carole and Goose 🥹😭

His gaze was fixed on the water as he held you and said, "My dad left my mom and I alone. The last thing I ever want to do is leave you."

Hes really going through it 🥺

"Bradley," you whispered, kissing his mustache and reaching for the blanket to cover both of you. "I've spent months falling in love with you in spite of your job. Or maybe because of it. Or maybe just because there was no holding back. I've thought about the risks, and you are worth it. I'm sure your mom felt the same way about your dad."

He really needed to hear this!! 🫶🏻

When you gagged again, he saw stars prettier than the ones in the sky, and he could feel your saliva drip down to his balls before you lapped at them as well. He half expected to see the front of his sweatpants all damp by the time you were done. He was really looking forward to it. And it wouldn't be much longer now as you sucked on his balls and pumped your fist around him nice and slow.

😌🤤😮‍💨

Bradley glanced down where he could see the outline of your body and his hard cock hanging out of his pants. "Baby, I would believe anything you told me right now," he muttered, delighting in your laughter.

I know he 100% means it lol

Nat rolled her eyes. "Just bring her. You've been MIA for weeks and weeks since you got back. You can stare longingly at her while other people are around for a few hours."

Hahaha I just love Nat

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, tucking his fingers around your waist as Jake Seresin himself eyed you up. "The only thing I can promise is that the wine here sucks compared to Salvatore's."

Don't do my girl Penny dirty like that! I have a feeling that if you ask nicely and Penny likes you she has a few nice bottles of wine for her favorite guests 😌

"Right about what?" Bradley asked, eyes darting to where Bob was blushing profusely with a pool cue in his hand. Jake chuckled. "Nothing I can say in front of mixed company."

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT BOB WAS RIGHT ABOUT!!

"Oh!" you said, pulling your hand free and pointing at Jake while you took a sip of your beer. Bradley felt the need to protect you, but you didn't really need him to at all as you smirked and said, "Hangman. Right. You're the guy with the dumb call sign. My students were still talking about it yesterday."

He shook his head. "I just know the day is going to come when I'm not around to physically be with her. And you'll be the one inviting her out to the bar while I'm eating soggy cabbage rolls on an aircraft carrier. So I need to set the precedent now. She's with me, and all of these assholes we work with can keep their hands to themselves where she is concerned."

Nat was right as always, he truly is a mess 😅

Bradley took one of the drinks from your hands and leaned down to give you a nice, long kiss with tongue. Was he marking his territory? Sure. Was he also letting you know he was ready to get you alone again whenever you wanted to leave? Absolutely. Was he also just such a mess he couldn't help but touch you? A hundred percent.

Oh and he is not coy about it 🤭

You thought maybe he gave up trying to communicate right now, but then he licked his lips and said, "Give me a date. Please. Give me a date when you're going to move in." But he was stroking you just right, and your only response was a gasp before you were chanting his name.

That man is desperate, release

It took you a second to push through the fog as your orgasm tapered off, and you smiled. "I thought you weren't in a hurry. Just in love." His cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as he ducked his head, but you'd already been giving it a lot of thought. When he started to shift, you whispered, "January twentieth."

...but she loves it 🤭

You popped a kernel between his lips and asked, "You just really wanted a date to look forward to?" "So bad," he replied with a grin. "I can't wait to have my professional spider hunter around all the time."

He's down so bad 🤭🥰

Bradley smiled as he ate some macaroni and cheese in the cafeteria later that week. He had two new dates saved in his phone calendar. The day you would be moving in with him and the date for career day at your school. He couldn't wait. He was admiring the calendar entries when his phone alerted him to a new email.

He's probably already checking out dates in the calendar for the proposal and possible wedding 🤭😅

"No," Bradley replied immediately as his stomach lurched. "Atlantic Fleet? Mav, please tell me you're joking." "I'm not."

NOOOOOO

Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw Part 17 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley was certain Maverick didn't intend to stress him out when he said you and he were the spitting image of Goose and Carole. But suddenly, for better or for worse, it was all he could think about. There is so much to look forward to with you in his life, but now he has to break the worst kind of news to you.

Warnings: Fluff, oral sex, smut, angst, adult banter, Bradley in love, 18+

Length: 4800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female teacher!Reader

Check out my masterlist for more! Yours Truly, Bradley Bradshaw masterlist

Bradley couldn't seem to stop grinning. Playing the part of tour guide for your class was a pleasure. The kids made fun of Jake, which was honestly lovely, and everyone got to experience different aspects of aviation, not just flying. You even made Cyclone smile, so you'd done the impossible there. Bradley had a grin on his face for the rest of the afternoon, and Nat kept ribbing him about it.

"Are the two of you going to get married and have eighteen kids?" she asked, feigning innocence like nobody else could.

"I know you're joking," he replied as he cleaned up and organized all of the noise canceling headphones. "You know how I know? Because you know how much money I make. I could never afford eighteen kids. It's gotta be like fifteen, tops."

"You never ever even joked about having a child before!" she said, tone accusatory.

Talking about you and thinking about you made him feel calm where no relationship he'd had in the past ever really did. "Come on, Nat. You know I'm serious about this one." 

She laughed in response. "Being in love for once instead of just settling for someone to keep you company looks good on you. It's about time you stopped fucking up." He planted his hand on top of her head, scrunched his fingers, and messed up her hair. "Stop it!" she screeched as he ran away across the tarmac as fast as he could and into the hangar where he found Marty.

Bradley peeked around to make sure she hadn't followed him as he made a beeline toward the mechanic. "Hey, I can't thank you enough for today," he told Marty, shaking his calloused hand.

"It was fun," he replied. "Some of those kids are future aviators, I'm telling you."

"Violet," they both said at the same time and started laughing.

"And Oliver is a bit of a daredevil," Bradley added as he helped Marty pack up his work station. "They've been learning about aviation for months, and I know today meant a lot to them."

Marty looked a little pensive before he nodded at Bradley. "You know what," he said in response as he locked his toolbox, "go ahead and tell your girlfriend that I'll be there for her career day as long as I'm not deployed."

Bradley cocked his head. "Career day. Right. I'll let her know." 

He had no idea what Marty was talking about, but it was just about time for him to head out for the day. By the time he got home from work, you'd probably be on your way back down from Mira Mesa. His thoughts were circling around Maverick's words from earlier. If he was reminded of Goose and Carole when he looked at Bradley with you, then no wonder this felt like the real deal. It must be just that.

But he was in his head now. He was desperate to keep you, because he knew all too well what loneliness felt like, but he couldn't stand the thought of you worrying about him. And the idea of anything happening to him while he was away from you was too much to handle. He rubbed his eyes as he walked to his Bronco. Being compared to his parents felt like a blessing and a curse.

--------------------------

The evenings were getting chilly this time of year, but you changed into the dress you wore on your first date with Bradley as soon as you got home. Then you quickly packed an overnight bag. Driving to work from his house tomorrow would be a true test. Nothing was going to be a complete deal breaker for you at this point, but you hoped it didn't leave you in tears of frustration. Or have Bradley trying to scramble to find a way to try to make you happy when you already were.

Your plan for the evening was to pick up some Thai food from the place he loved on your way to his house. When you texted Bradley to let him know you were leaving your place soon and that you hoped he was hungry, he wrote back one sentence.

All I want is you.

Every time you thought it would be impossible for him to continue to set off the butterflies in your tummy, he did it again. Your face felt warm, and you ran your palm along your cheek as you thought about every little detail of the field trip while you drove. He didn't just love you, he appreciated your job and your students. Your ex didn't even let you talk about them. Bradley let them rank the cafeteria foods at the Naval base. He got Marty to give a demonstration. He got permission for them to sit in his jet and assist with air traffic control!

You moaned as you wove through traffic to get there. All I want is you. Well fuck, all you wanted was him. Your feelings outweighed the amount of time you'd known him, but you couldn't seem to make yourself pump the brakes now. When you stopped to pick up dinner, you thought back to your first date with Bradley. It wasn't very long ago, but it felt like so much had happened since then. It felt like even more had happened since he responded to your first letter. In such a short amount of time, you had fallen in love.

Your skin was tingling with anticipation as you parked in front of his house. Hadn't you been with him just a few hours ago? Why did you feel the need to run for the front door with the Thai food? Why did your heart skip a beat when Bradley opened the door in his sweatshirt and gray sweatpants and met you on the front porch before you even had a chance to knock?

"Gorgeous," he breathed against your cheek, holding you close as you tried not to squish the bag containing dinner. Then he pulled his shirt off, leaving him in a tee, and tugged it over your head. His mustache tickled your skin as he leaned in and whispered, "You look too good in my sweatshirt. You look like you're mine."

Your belly swooped as you promised, "I absolutely am."

"Fuck."

You laughed as you handed the bag to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Give me a minute to kiss you the way I wanted to earlier, and then we're having a picnic dinner."

Bradley started to respond with one eyebrow raised, but you didn't let him get a word out as your lips met his. He deepened the kiss immediately, and you sighed; this was how you always wanted him. You appreciated that he held back earlier, but right now, you wanted him all to yourself.

"Thank you for today," you murmured between kisses as his hand slid lower along your back. "You're the hero of Mira Mesa Elementary, and I wanted to treat you to dinner on behalf of my class."

His cheeks were a little rosy as he pulled away a bit more. "You don't have to thank me for anything. You know that. I'm happy to do anything you want."

"Stop," you whispered, burying your face against his neck. "A girl can only handle so much. Let's go eat dinner down on the beach, and maybe there will be an additional little something special for you."

You were tugging on his arm, fingers gripping his thick bicep, but he didn't budge an inch. "I'm in sweats and a tee shirt. Should I change?"

"Why?" you asked, still tugging. "You look hot."

His blush deepened. "But you're wearing your dress and my sweatshirt. And I was kind of interested in snuggling on the couch."

"Let's go," you repeated, and he took a few steps toward your car with the bag of food in his hand. "We can come back and snuggle on the couch later."

While he agreed, he didn't seem to want to let you go. His hand was on yours while you drove the few blocks to the beach, and he wrapped his arm around you as you pulled an oversized beach towel out of your trunk along with a blanket. 

"Baby, it'll get chilly as soon as the sun sets."

"I'll keep you warm," you promised, running your fingers along his bare arm before taking his hand. He was quiet as the two of you walked down from the parking lot to the sand, and when you looked up at him as the warm, orange light illuminated his face as the sun sank low in the sky, he seemed contemplative. "What's wrong?" you asked, heart skipping a beat as you stopped in front of him so he was looking at you.

Bradley's gaze was soft as he met your eyes. "Nothing's wrong. I'm with you." 

But even as the two of you ate dinner together, he pulled you snug next to his side like he was afraid you were going to go somewhere. You took a bite of the Pad Thai and then said, "I wish I thought to bring some Prosecco," but you only got a little grunt in response. "Bradley," you snapped, reaching for his chin and turning his head gently so he was facing you. "You weren't like this earlier during the field trip. You're acting strange. Do you want me to go home?"

"No," he replied with wide eyes, wrapping one big hand around your thigh and kissing your forehead. "I don't want you to go anywhere without me." With a sigh, he added, "I'm sorry. I just... got in my own head about us."

"Us?" you asked immediately, scrambling to try to figure out what you could have possibly done wrong. The whole day was perfect, and now you felt yourself trying to pull away from his grasp.

"No," he insisted once more as the air grew cooler. The sky was more dark blue than orange now, and Bradley was silent for a beat before he said, "Maverick... Captain Mitchell... you met him earlier..." When you nodded, he kissed your forehead and said, "He was my dad's friend. They flew together. Maverick knew him well."

Your boyfriend's parents had been gone for a long time. "Oh," you gasped. If you'd known that earlier, you'd have taken more time to get to know Captain Mitchell.

Before you could dwell on it too much, Bradley whispered, "I think about you all the time, Gorgeous. I think about fucking you on my couch and feeding you breakfast. I think about taking you back to Salvatore's for every special occasion. I think about your letters and your pretty face and diamond rings. And the future."

His words were warm and intentional, and you shivered even as he pulled you closer. "Bradley," you said so softly, you could barely hear yourself. "I think about all of that, too."

Some of the tension seemed to melt away from his body as you ran your fingers through his hair. His lips skimmed along yours as he said, "Maverick told me I reminded him of my dad today. And that you reminded him of my mom. This is all because he can tell how head over heels I am for you. Just like my parents were for each other."

Everything he said was too dreamy. When you tried to take a deep breath, it hitched in your throat. "I don't understand what the problem is, Bradley. I feel the same way about you."

His gaze was fixed on the water as he held you and said, "My dad left my mom and I alone. The last thing I ever want to do is leave you."

A smile found your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "Is this why you're being weird and clingy at the same time?"

When he looked at you he laughed. "I guess. I'm sorry."

"Bradley," you whispered, kissing his mustache and reaching for the blanket to cover both of you. "I've spent months falling in love with you in spite of your job. Or maybe because of it. Or maybe just because there was no holding back. I've thought about the risks, and you are worth it. I'm sure your mom felt the same way about your dad."

He pulled you down on top of him, dinner forgotten, and kissed you with one heavy hand still on the back of your thigh. "As long as you've accepted the risks, Gorgeous." His fingers slid up a few inches as he added, "Today was incredibly fun for me, and I'm happy your kids had a good time. I'm already looking forward to visiting your school again if you want me there."

"Oh," you whispered, placing a soft kiss to his scars. "That reminds me. Career day is coming up in a few months. You'll definitely need to be there for that."

Bradley grunted and gave you a little smack on your rear end that made you gasp in delight. "See, you're telling me about this now, but I already heard about career day from Marty."

Your fingers on his bicep tightened as you tried not to moan. "I just got excited earlier," you whispered. "I promise I was going to tell you."

"Hmm... so Marty and the other aviators are more interesting than I am. I understand, Gorgeous."

His voice was teasing, and he seemed a lot more at ease now as that big hand gripped and grabbed at you under the blanket. When you shifted slightly, you could feel him through his gray sweatpants. He was a little eager, but so were you now. His occasional need to hear you reaffirm your feelings for him was something you'd always be happy to indulge.

"Will you let me prove to you that you're the most interesting? My very favorite Naval officer?"

"What do you have in mind?"

--------------------------

The first few stars were glittering to life in the sky as the horizon continued to darken from orange to purple to blue. Bradley lounged back on the oversized beach towel with one arm tucked behind his head and enjoyed the sight. It was beautiful. So was the sound of you softly gagging on his cock.

"God damn," he muttered, fingers stroking the back of your neck as he squeezed his eyes closed and focused on the feel of your mouth slowly gliding along his shaft until he was deep once again. The air was cool on his overheated skin, and the breeze was probably enough to keep anyone else from visiting this secluded stretch of beach while you treated him to your lips and tongue.

When you gagged again, he saw stars prettier than the ones in the sky, and he could feel your saliva drip down to his balls before you lapped at them as well. He half expected to see the front of his sweatpants all damp by the time you were done. He was really looking forward to it. And it wouldn't be much longer now as you sucked on his balls and pumped your fist around him nice and slow.

Your voice was light as air when you released him and playfully asked, "Do you believe you're my favorite?"

Bradley glanced down where he could see the outline of your body and his hard cock hanging out of his pants. "Baby, I would believe anything you told me right now," he muttered, delighting in your laughter.

"You're my favorite," you said before kissing his tip and sinking those pretty lips around him once again. Your grip was firm as you sucked, and it wasn't long before Bradley was grunting and trying not to grab you too tight with his fingers. 

You were giving him head on the beach, and it was so damn hot, but you were still his sweet girlfriend. He just wanted to make you happy, and when he came, you moaned in delight until he couldn't tell if his eyes were open or closed. Then your lips were on his, and he could taste both of you there. "You're my favorite," you repeated, reaching down to carefully pull his sweatpants up while he head spun.

He groaned and wrapped his arm around your waist. "If this was your ploy to get me to agree to career day, it definitely worked. But you know I would have said yes no matter what."

Your lips were on his ear as you laughed. "Can we go home and get warmed up in the shower?"

Home. You belonged there with him. He knew it. You knew it too, even if only subconsciously. "Yeah, let's go home."

On Friday, he woke up earlier than usual to make sure you were awake in time to get to work. He packed you a lunch, grimaced when he checked the traffic on his phone and said, "I'll pay for your gas."

"I don't need you to pay for my gas, Bradley!" you insisted.

One look at your pretty face had him shaking his head. "Traffic is a nightmare. What's it going to take to get you to come back here again tonight?" he asked, handing you a mug of coffee. "Because I honestly don't mind paying a little extra in gas money to make up for the fact that I bought a house in Coronado."

You bit your lip and then asked, "How do you not understand that being with you is going to be worth the drive?"

"Save your verdict for after you've actually driven through rush hour."

He was delighted when you returned right after work for the weekend. And Saturday morning, you slept in while Bradley went for a run with Nat. He kissed you goodbye and watched you roll over onto his pillow with a soft smile on your lips. Six miles in and he was getting antsy to get back to make you breakfast.

"Are you two coming to the bar tonight?" Nat asked, huffing as she tried to speak and run at the same time.

He grunted in response. You hadn't been to the Hard Deck yet, and he wasn't sure he felt like sharing you with everyone else this evening. "Maybe."

Nat rolled her eyes. "Just bring her. You've been MIA for weeks and weeks since you got back. You can stare longingly at her while other people are around for a few hours."

"I'll ask how she feels about it."

But he should have known you'd want to go as soon as he mentioned it to you in the shower after breakfast. "I didn't bring anything cute to wear," you complained with a little pout.

"Baby, you could wear one of my ratty old shirts with your jeans, and you'd be the cutest thing in the place."

A smile curved along your lips, and that's exactly what you ended up wearing. Your snug jeans only looked sexier on you when paired with one of his soft tee shirts from his college days, which you tied in a little knot at the hem. He could see a peek of your skin here and there as you finished getting ready that evening, and he couldn't keep his hands off you. When the two of you arrived at the Hard Deck, he knew he was going to have to keep you close by.

"What do you want to drink?" he asked, tucking his fingers around your waist as Jake Seresin himself eyed you up. "The only thing I can promise is that the wine here sucks compared to Salvatore's."

But you were oblivious as you looked around the interior of the bar as you caught a few more gazes. He didn't love these horny guys all checking you out like the piece of fresh meat you really were. "How about a beer then?" you asked, scanning everything that Penny had on tap and pointing to your favorite.

"Solid choice," he replied, ordering two from Jimmy. And then all too soon, you were the one pulling him toward the pool table and Natasha.

"Well, well, well," Jake drawled, setting down his empty bottle and tossing a dart repeatedly up into the air with his gaze glued on you. "What do we have here, Bradshaw?"

"This is my girlfriend," he replied immediately. "Don't get any ideas."

You cleared your throat, stuck out your hand, and told Jake your name. He reached for you with a smile and didn't let go. "You must be the teacher from the field trip the other day. I'm Jake. But if you'd prefer to use my call sign, it's Hungman. I mean Hangman. Looks like Baby on Board was right."

"Right about what?" Bradley asked, eyes darting to where Bob was blushing profusely with a pool cue in his hand.

Jake chuckled. "Nothing I can say in front of mixed company."

"Oh!" you said, pulling your hand free and pointing at Jake while you took a sip of your beer. Bradley felt the need to protect you, but you didn't really need him to at all as you smirked and said, "Hangman. Right. You're the guy with the dumb call sign. My students were still talking about it yesterday."

Bradley started laughing at the sour look on Jake's face. After that, you had some very pleasant conversations with Javy, Mickey and Reuben, even though he could see their eyes dip down to your chest on occasion. It wasn't really their fault that you were beautiful, so he let it slide while he played pool with Nat. Eventually you joined in with him, and you insisted on buying the next two beers plus another drink for his best friend.

"I'll be right back," you told him, playfully backing away toward the bar with a smile, and Bradley watched you the entire time you were gone.

"You are a mess," Nat informed him as if he didn't already know that.

He shook his head. "I just know the day is going to come when I'm not around to physically be with her. And you'll be the one inviting her out to the bar while I'm eating soggy cabbage rolls on an aircraft carrier. So I need to set the precedent now. She's with me, and all of these assholes we work with can keep their hands to themselves where she is concerned."

"You were never this up tight when you brought Vanessa here."

His ex's name always sounded startling now when it rattled around in his head. "She was mean," he said easily. "Nobody wanted to talk to her even though she was pretty." But Bradley honestly never did feel this way about her or anyone else before you. Watching you pay Jimmy with a smile on your face before turning and meeting his eyes was enough to send him walking halfway to meet you.

Bradley took one of the drinks from your hands and leaned down to give you a nice, long kiss with tongue. Was he marking his territory? Sure. Was he also letting you know he was ready to get you alone again whenever you wanted to leave? Absolutely. Was he also just such a mess he couldn't help but touch you? A hundred percent.

It wasn't long before you suggested calling it a night.

----------------------------

Bradley was deep inside you, one big hand pinning your wrists above your head on his pillow. His fingers were trailing down your skin as he fucked you a little harder, and you let him talk and ramble to his heart's content while he brought you closer to where you wanted to be.

"You're perfect," he crooned, hazy gaze focused on your face. "Tell me, Baby, please. I need to know." He kissed along your neck, tongue darting out to taste the sheen of sweat. "Please."

"What?" you gasped, barely able to talk at all as his fingers settled on your clit.

You thought maybe he gave up trying to communicate right now, but then he licked his lips and said, "Give me a date. Please. Give me a date when you're going to move in." But he was stroking you just right, and your only response was a gasp before you were chanting his name.

His lips settled on yours as you came for him, clenching around his cock until he spilled himself inside you. His kisses were rough before turning sweet, and soon he was softly teasing your lips as he muttered, "You gonna tell me?"

It took you a second to push through the fog as your orgasm tapered off, and you smiled. "I thought you weren't in a hurry. Just in love." His cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as he ducked his head, but you'd already been giving it a lot of thought. When he started to shift, you whispered, "January twentieth."

He froze again and met your eyes. "Yeah? Seriously?"

"Seriously."

His hands were cupping your face while he stayed buried inside you. "Gorgeous, you just made my whole fucking day."

Within the hour, he had the date saved in his phone calendar, and you were on his lap on the couch eating popcorn. "We've got time, but I'll help you pack beforehand and move everything. Javy has a truck, so I'll make sure we can use that. You could always start moving some things before that if you wanted to."

You popped a kernel between his lips and asked, "You just really wanted a date to look forward to?"

"So bad," he replied with a grin. "I can't wait to have my professional spider hunter around all the time."

"You're ridiculous," you told him with a grin of your own. You yawned, exhausted in the early hours of Sunday morning. "I need some sleep or else I'll be dead on my feet at work this week. You need to show me that you can be well behaved and let me rest even after I've moved in with you."

"On it," he replied, dumping the remainder of the popcorn into his mouth before scooping you up and heading for the bathroom to get ready for bed.

--------------------------------

Bradley smiled as he ate some macaroni and cheese in the cafeteria later that week. He had two new dates saved in his phone calendar. The day you would be moving in with him and the date for career day at your school. He couldn't wait. He was admiring the calendar entries when his phone alerted him to a new email. It was oddly enough from your school account.

Dear Lieutenant Bradshaw,

We just wanted to reach out and thank you again for taking us on a tour of North Island. Our lessons about aviation were brought to life. It was the educational opportunity of a lifetime, and we also had so much fun on the field trip. Our classroom door is always open anytime you want to visit.

Sincerely,

Your nineteen pen pals

Immediately after he finished reading, he noticed he had another email. From your personal account this time.

Did you know there are just thirty-five days until I move to Coronado?

Attached was a photo of you holding up three fingers and five fingers in front of your naked tits, and Bradley almost dropped his phone. He could see everything, just like you probably intended, but he had to close out of the image as Maverick approached him with a frown.

"We need to talk."

Bradley's brow furrowed. "What's going on?"

The older man sighed and rubbed his forehead. "A call came in from Norfolk. Atlantic Fleet needs one more F/A-18 pilot for an assignment. Your name was mentioned."

"No," Bradley replied immediately as his stomach lurched. "Atlantic Fleet? Mav, please tell me you're joking."

"I'm not."

Bradley's head was swimming with concern. He'd only been in the Pacific Fleet for a few years, and he wasn't looking to go back to Virginia. Not even temporarily, but certainly not permanently. You were only with him because he was based out of San Diego. You told him yourself how scared you had been when you thought you were falling for a man who lived on the other side of the country.

"My name was mentioned?" he muttered. "Who else was mentioned?"

Maverick shook his head. "Nobody. They want you. I'd start thinking about getting your duffle out of the closet this weekend. I'll get your more information as soon as I can."

Bradley had more questions than answers, but he let the other man walk away without another word. When he unlocked his phone and saw the perfect photo of you, his heart clenched. Having answers to his questions would only make it harder to tell you what was about to happen.

---------------------------

But they love each other! Reverting back to full-time pen pals mode? Will that even work? Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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