#(the people i love and care about would actually have completely happy and fulfilling lives in my absence and thus my presence is in no way

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

me: yippee yippee friendsgiving tmrw i get to see the people i used to see all the time but have barely seen for awhile!!!

the horrors:

[symphonyofsilence]

No, but it's such a significant thing that Geto wanted to protect Gojo and take care of him! throughout all his life Gojo has been "the strongest". He's been extremely valuable, but nobody had ever thought of protecting him or taking care of him. Even if they did love him. Because he was the strongest. Surely he could handle everything. And if a danger had already breached Gojo's defences it could definitely crush everyone else so trying to protect him was pointless. Nobody but one person. Geto was not as strong as Gojo, in fact, Gojo was so much stronger than him, but Geto not only took care of him (asking him if he was getting him enough rest, expressing concern when he learned that was not, encouraging him when he completed a mission, asking Hibara to bring sweets with him because Satoru would want to eat too) but he actually tried to protect Gojo! (Both against Toji and against Kenjaku) Something that literally nobody else did. And something that was probably pointless, but nevertheless protecting Gojo came naturally to Geto. So much so that even his dead body came to life to protect him!

It's such a natural thing when you love and care about someone and only have them and their safety in mind that you don't even think about how strong and invincible they are and how powerless you are to protect them. You just move out of instinct to protect them.

I'm thinking about how really telling & important each and every selected moment we got with Satosugu was to establish the special relationship that Gojo had once with only one person- his blue spring- and never experienced again.

And honestly, I think Gojo joining Geto in the afterlife was his happy ending. 'Cause in his last 11 years he's been at the top of the world. He had everything. He was the strongest, he had power, wealth, looks, and people who loved him and looked up to him. And I don't think he was unhappy. I think he tried to live his life as best as he could and enjoy every moment he got. And yet he kept circling back to Geto. He kept thinking about him. Sitting in an empty classroom and going over their memories and Geto's fall and their separation again and again. Everything he did- from using "Boku" instead of "ore" to becoming a teacher to murdering the higher-ups- he did while thinking about Geto. Gojo always had that touch of melancholy with him- and it's okay. Everyone does. He lived his life the best he could. And he even died the best way he could. As he said himself his only disappointment was not having Geto in the crowd to pat his back. But now that Gojo's finally reunited with Geto, I think he can finally be happy, in peace, and fulfilled. There was a huge devouring emptiness in the place that Geto left in Gojo's life that only Geto himself could fix.

(And I think the airport was real and not Gojo's imagination because there was no way for Gojo to know about how Nanami saw Hibara in his last seconds in life)

[givemea-dam-break]

okay so, consider this: jealous George

hasn't been done much, and jealousy is one of my favourite tropes. I'm thinking friends to lovers (obv) and you're free to make it as angsty as possible, as long as we get a happy ending :))) and you know what would probably hurt him most? When he's jealous of Lockwood bc he gets along so well with reader, maybe they just have a borderline-flirty dynamic (all platonic ofc) and George just has to watch and know he's never gonna be able to be like this (angst angst angst)

AND to make it MORE angsty maybe reader is really reserved around george but only bc she is so nervous (he doesn't know that ofc!!)

AND how about George confides in Lucy at some point that he thinks lockwood and reader might be into each other and she's like "uh yeah no, lockwood and I are dating"

Just throw in whatever cliché trope you can think of in there, i love them all

a/n: I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA OMFG YES THANK YOU!!!!!! jealousy is also one of my favourite tropes it’s great but i haven't actually written it all that much so i hope you enjoy! this isn't very angsty because i actually struggled with the plot for this, but hopefully you still like it lol

warnings: mild language words: 3.9K female reader taglist: @flashbackwhenyoumetme @irisesforyoureyes @aayeroace @waitingforthesunrise @ettadear @mirrorballdickinson @ella23116 (let me know if you want added to my taglist!)

Touch - George Karim

George had a habit of staying up late on nights where it was unnecessary.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t sleep, but rather the fact that he didn’t want to until he was sure that everything was all right. When the agents of Lockwood and Co. returned to 35 Portland Row, safe and – mostly – unharmed, he could relax.

Well, he frankly could care less what ego-fulfilling stories Lockwood had to tell upon his returns or the colourful and new swear words Lucy had learned from Skull. It was (name) he waited up for.

Out of the three of his friends, (name) was the one who understood him most. She never pushed for him to speak when he didn’t feel comfortable. She always listened to him ramble on, whether it be for a case or purely out of interest in something, with her full attention, letting him speak for as long as he wanted, smiling and nodding as he did so. He felt most like himself with her around.

So, there he sat in the living room, glancing between the book in his lap and the front door, waiting for the familiar rattle of the doorhandle. It was cast in shadow, with only a thin streak of light cutting across it from the flickering crystal skull lamp in the hallway. Lockwood really needed to swap out the bulb.

When the tell-tale jingle of keys and the quiet clatter of the handle sounded, he sat up slightly and watched as she crept in as silently as she could. That was another thing George liked and appreciated about (name) – the fact that she was considerate for the other people in the house late at night. After a case, Lockwood would come in noisily, shutting the door behind him a little too loudly, and Lucy would be stomping around on too-creaky floorboards in her clunky boots. But (name) was always quiet.

It felt like George’s heart skipped a beat when she flashed him one of her enchanting smiles, paired with a little wave. Although the smiles were always reserved, edging on shy and nothing more than a curve of the lips and a sparkle in her eyes, it made his insides feel all warm and fluttery. The sensation had been new to him in the beginning, those first few times she’d smiled at him after she had been hired, but now it was something he yearned for. His days didn’t feel complete without it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but footsteps shook the stairs and, all of a sudden, Lockwood was there, arm draped over (name)’s shoulders.

“How was the case?” he asked, grinning.

(name) leaned against him as she tugged off her ectoplasm-spotted boots. “Couldn’t even call it that. Mrs Tilden, as sweet as she is, forgets that she can’t actually hear ghosts, and that the neighbour’s cat yowls whenever it gets too cold. I would’ve been back sooner, but all the night cabs were taken, and I didn’t feel like riding back with Kipps and his lot.”

“Well, you’re here now. Fancy some tea? Boiled the kettle not long ago.”

“That’d be great,” she said. When her eyes, sparkling in the dim light, turned on George, he found himself stuck to the spot. “Do you want some, George? I got some of that tea you really like this morning.”

And, as much as George wanted to agree, he couldn’t help but look at Lockwood and the way he so easily stood with her, holding her close and grinning. It should be George there. It should be him she leaned on after a case, him that made her tea and asked her how it went.

No, no. His feelings didn’t entitle him to her or her time. Besides, she and Lockwood had been friends since childhood, separated for a few years for educational reasons, so it was a given that they’d be close. He just wished it didn’t make his throat ache every time he saw them like they were now, standing close and laughing. Something he so longed to do, but didn’t know if he could.

So, he simply said, “No, thanks, I’m about to head up to bed.”

She smiled at him once more, the shadow of a grin hiding in the corners, and nodded before following Lockwood down to the kitchen, joking about the infamous Cat of Mead Place. Her voice seemed to reverberate through the walls and into George’s very being as he stared down at the book in his lap, the page long since lost in his distraction.

Heaving a sigh, he gently closed it and set it upon the coffee table, then trudged up the stairs to his room.

--

“So, you think that our ghost is the killer? That’s interesting. From the description, I would’ve figured it’d be the victim. Makes sense, though.”

George nodded, trying not to focus on the soft scent of lavender and something flowery as (name) leaned closer to him, studying his notes and findings. He really hoped she couldn’t hear the furious pounding of his heart.

“Well, it was the murderer’s house,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose a little. “It’s very likely that, even if it’s the old remains of the victim, it’s the killer’s source. Remember that bit in Hackney? Old teeth in a jar, but it was the source for that murderer.”

(name) shivered. “Don’t remind me. Still have nightmares about that guy.” She shuffled her chair slightly closer, casting George a short glance, before pulling one of the newspaper copies over. “Natalie Greymouth tried and imprisoned for the murder of her six children, later to – Wait, six children? So, in between all these other murders she committed, she was also popping out babies and killing them?”

Huffing a laugh, George said, “Suppose the kids distracted people from the fact that she was a cold-blooded killer.”

At that, (name) snickered, and a spark travelled down George’s spine as he watched her. The way she grinned as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand, how her cheeks flushed for only a moment. It wasn’t until she turned her head to look at him, much closer than she had been before, that George felt stuck for breath.

Her smile slowly softened into something shyer, more private, as she became aware of the small space between them, but as quick as thought she turned away again, focusing back on the documents in front of them.

Hope had begun to form in that short moment, and it had tasted sweet, but it became bitter as Lockwood and Lucy burst through the kitchen door with bags of goods from Satchell’s. Lucy slid behind George’s seat, dumping an additional shopping bag filled with food on the kitchen counter.

“Hard at work I see,” Lockwood said with a grin. He leaned down over (name)’s shoulder, scanning the notes sprawled everywhere. “Makes no sense to me. I trust you guys have a lead on what we’re walking into later?”

George could feel his throat burn at the sight of them, but he swallowed the feeling down and looked away. “Yeah. We’ll give you the run down on the way.”

He tried his best not to look when Lockwood squeezed (name)’s arm. He tried even harder to ignore the grin she sent his way, so unlike anything she’d ever shown George, but it was impossible. It felt like trying to pretend that Skull wasn’t on the countertop making the most horrid faces ever. The action only ever drew his eye.

Her smile lit up any room she was in, and he hated that it wasn’t directed at him but instead Lockwood. Lockwood, who everyone attached themselves to – (name), Lucy, Flo Bones, the public. Everyone. Well, except for Quill Kipps and his Fittes lot, but George didn’t want them. He only wanted her.

--

“We’re splitting up.”

“Worst idea ever. I don’t like the look of this place.”

Lockwood snorted. “You never like the look of any of the places we’re hired out to.”

“Lie,” (name) said. She looked up at the towering house before them. “There was that one bit in Camden, remember? With the really nice, frosted glass windows in the door.”

“Before Lucy crashed into it and smashed the glass.”

Lucy went bright pink. “I don’t think that’s our focus for today.”

George watched as Lockwood nudged (name) with his elbow, eliciting a laugh from her, and tightly said, “Lucy’s right. We need to get this case over with. And pairs sound good – too much room to cover as one group. (name), I’ll go with you.”

For a moment, the rush of blood in his ears was all he could hear. What if she said no; that she wanted to pair up with Lockwood instead? George didn’t have anything against Lucy, but it got  unnerving hearing her one-sided conversations with Skull. He was never sure if she was insulting him or the glowing ghost in the jar. And they’d probably end up bickering as they often did which wouldn’t help this case run smoothly at all.

But (name) nodded and offered him that delicate smile. “Sounds good. Think I’ve got some ideas of where we might find our source.”

“Care to share?” Lockwood asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“No.”

“I’m your boss. You’ve got to tell me.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Yes, you –“

“Let’s go,” George interrupted. His fingers were beginning to twitch. “Before it gets dark.”

And so, they did. While Lucy and Lockwood trudged inside and up the looming staircase in the centre of the house, George and (name) crept through the ground floor, taking temperatures and using their Talents. He did try, really he did, to not linger on thoughts of her and Lockwood, of their lingering laughs and smiles, but it became increasingly harder the quieter they stayed.

“So, what are your ideas for finding the source?” he asked, trying to break the silence that had grown between them.

Usually, George would’ve preferred the quiet, but this was choking. Every moment his mind strayed from the task at hand, it drifted over to the horrible ache in his chest and the twitching of his fingers caused by what could only be described as jealousy. Jealousy! God, even thinking it made him mad.

Why was he jealous? Because someone he had never explicitly admitted to liking was showing an interest in someone else? Because someone else would squeeze her arm or nudge her, when even tapping her shoulder to get her attention felt like it would make George implode?

(name)’s fingers brushed over an old vase, and she lifted it up, turning it in her hands. “Going to use my Touch on very specific things. This lady died, what, five years ago? And her nephew took this house, so he likely would’ve thrown out most, if not all, of the things belonging to her. So, we need to find the obscure things.”

“Like that restaurant with the porcelain egg cup as a source?”

“Exactly like that. The stuff no one would expect a ghost to connect to.” Her grin then was unlike the ones she shared with Lockwood, and though it was rather self-approving, George found himself drawn to it. It was something he experienced that Lockwood might not have. “Georgie, you’re going to find the strangest things in this room, and I’ll have a feel. This was one of our theories for the primary haunting, right?”

The words clogged in his throat. Georgie. It repeated over and over and over in his head as he swallowed the feelings that were building up. “Yeah.”

He glanced around the office they had ended up in and took the temperature, finding it as the lowest on the ground floor. It was a moderately sized room with a massive desk cutting through the centre with chairs either side. The desk itself was neatly organised with folders and pens all gathered in holders. An expensive-looking computer had gathered dust since the owner’s rushed departure a few days ago. Rather unassuming, on the whole, but that was exactly what she wanted.

“We’ve got an hour until sundown,” he said, peeking out of the large window. “I’ll watch your back.”

Together, they picked out a selection of seemingly strange things from around the office. An envelope rack; a rather rusty metal pen; a little glass horse ornament plucked from a display case, among many other things. But (name)’s hands lingered over a photo frame. It was a simple thing made from light-coloured wood, and the picture inside showed the owner of the house and his partner, so it was the last thing George would’ve suspected. This was what she was for, though, he remembered. Her gut instinct was much better than the rest of Lockwood and Co.’s.

“Be careful,” George murmured. “We don’t want another repeat of Lucy and Annabelle Ward.”

There was that delicate smile again, and his heart skipped a beat.

With a firm grip, (name) took the frame in her hands and shut her eyes. George could only watch in silence as she used her Talent, unused to having nothing to do in the meantime, and found himself staring. She was wearing the jumper Lockwood had gotten her for her birthday a few months ago, which had George chewing the inside of his cheek, but it was hardly his main focus. Not when the sunlight peeking through the curtains was highlighting her skin just so, emphasising little details he had only ever seen when they would research together, and he’d get distracted and stare. The implication of another smile in the corners of her lips, the curl of her lashes against slightly rosy cheeks.

After a few moments of frowning in such a way that left George with a smile tugging on his lips, her eyes fluttered open, and a proud grin split her mouth. George’s knees felt a little weak.

“Bingo. This used to have a photo of our ghost Natalie with her six kids before she killed them inside. Who’d have thought?”

It took George a minute to reply. His brain felt muddled, what with the brightness of her smile and the feeling in his chest. “I’ll go get the silver net. Our bags are still in the hall.”

“Lockwood will be well chuffed we found the source so quick.”

A moment of hesitation. One George hoped she hadn’t caught, but as he stepped towards the door, (name)’s smile melted into something more concerned.

“Are you all right?”

“Hmm? I’m fine.”

“George, what’s wrong? You were fine literally ten seconds ago and now you, well, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

George shook his head. “(name), honestly, I’m fine.”

“Did I say something? God, what have I said in the last, what, two minutes? Um…”

She muttered under her breath as she tried to think, and George really did try to push the burning feeling in his throat down. The embarrassment that, even though it was the two of them working down there on the case, she immediately thought of Lockwood. What more did he expect? He was nothing more than the second choice to most people – no, third. Fourth even. Hell, he was the last choice, and he should’ve realised that (name) would see him that way, too.

“It’s you and Lockwood,” he blurted.

And he regretted it immediately.

(name) looked over at him then, eyes slightly widened, and mouth parted. “What?”

He could only shrug as he looked away from her. “I just – I don’t know. Lockwood is the one everyone finds the most interesting, and I’d hoped that for once that someone might choose me.”

“You thought I would…”

She didn’t need to finish the sentence for him to know what she meant. George didn’t know how to explain the feeling that encompassed his very soul at that moment. It felt like drowning, in a way. Like these feelings he’d fought so hard to keep at bay were filling his lungs rapidly and stopping him from breathing. His head was submerged, and he couldn’t think clearly. He couldn’t do anything but feel these horrible emotions so acutely that it was painful.

“I’m sorry. I get that you and Lockwood are close. Well, you’re probably together and I’ve just never realised!”

He didn’t realise how much saying the words out loud could hurt. But he was right, wasn’t he? With all of their shared smiles and jokes and how they always stood close, there was no way they weren’t… a thing. George had just been too blind to see it.

“George.”

“Don’t. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“George! Shut. Up,” she hissed.

Words caught in his throat, shocked by the harsh tone and the expression on her face. Brows furrowed; eyes narrowed – she was angry at him!

“Look, I am sorry, but I don’t get why you’re mad at –“

She stormed over and slapped her hand over his mouth. The touch made him jump, and the close proximity of their faces had his treacherous heart pounding in his chest. Why? Why did it have to do that?

“Listen,” she whispered, and she gestured to the side with her head.

George slowly turned his gaze to the large table where he could now hear a faint click, click, click. When he looked, his heart lurched for a moment, and he saw one of the pens in the holder move slightly. The button at the end, the one that would bring the nib out, clicked open, then shut, then open. A few papers in one of the many folders fluttered despite the absence of a draft.

“Poltergeist,” he uttered beneath her hand. He tried not to focus on how soft it was, or how the soap she’d used smelled very different from the one Lockwood had bought for him.

She nodded soundlessly, and her hand lingered for a moment before moving back to her side. “Move quietly to the door.”

It was a good plan. If they moved silently and slowly, they’d be able to make it out to their kitbags and secure the source seeing as poltergeists were essentially blind. But George could feel its invisible presence hovering over them like a horribly cold and scratchy blanket, and the house was an old one. As soon as he took a step back, a floorboard creaked.

He and (name) froze and, for a minute nothing happened. Then the clicking stopped and the pen rattled in the holder. The temperature of the room felt like it had dropped five degrees within a mere second and, although George’s Listening was nowhere near the standard of Lucy’s, he swore he could hear a faint voice calling out some names.

Another step back, and the mistake was made. The door to the office slammed shut, rattling the bones of the house. Lockwood’s voice echoed from somewhere above, calling their names.

Shit.

He should’ve paid attention to the room growing colder or the sun setting outside instead of watching (name) when she’d used her Talent. Maybe then they wouldn’t be stuck in this position, facing off with a ghost that they couldn’t see nor could they harm without securing the source. And, well, they had no way of doing that now with their bags stashed outside.

(name) was the first to move. Light-footed on the floorboards, she tugged on the door handle, but it didn’t budge. George could feel her panic as strongly as he felt his own, and he realised with dread that they were only feeding into the ghost.

The clicking resumed, and (name) shuffled over to George again, hand on her rapier. It would prove useless in this situation.

“For your information,” she whispered. “Me and Lockwood aren’t a thing. He and Lucy are.”

George’s gaze snapped over to her, and she offered a soft albeit nervous smile. “I don’t think now is the time for that conversation.”

“Oh, come on, admit you’re relieved. Also, you didn’t happen to stash a silver net in your pocket did you?”

Yes, he was relieved. He didn’t think he’d ever been more relieved in his life than he was in that moment, knowing that she wasn’t with Lockwood. He was confused for a moment, wondering how he hadn’t ever seen the connection between Lockwood and Lucy, but it was overtaken by the sheer happiness that (name) wasn’t in a relationship with their best friend. And, no, he hadn’t thought to stuff a net in his pocket.

The jealousy that had reared its ugly head in his chest dissipated entirely when her hand slipped into his, warm in the horrid freezing temperature in the office.

“How are we getting out of here?”

George wasn’t sure. He wasn’t Lockwood. He didn’t come up with reckless plans that saved their lives while inadvertently endangering them at the same time. He didn’t destroy houses in the process.

Well…

“You any good at throwing chairs?”

--

Hours later, George was still shaking glass out of his hair over the kitchen bin at 35 Portland Row.

Lockwood was standing over the kettle as water boiled, waiting to make cups of tea for everyone as Lucy slapped a plaster on a cut on his forehead. Apparently, after hearing the office door slam, the two of them had rushed down the stairs, only for the carpet the ran down the centre of them – for whatever posh, middle-class Londoner reason – slipped out of place, presumably because of the Poltergeist, sending Lockwood toppling. He whacked his head off the corner of the wall, earning a pretty nasty cut and a possible concussion. Lucy had come off scott-free, but Skull’s silverglass jar had a dent in the top.

(name) and George on the other hand were covered in little shards of glass that nicked them every now and then after sending a chair through the office window and leaping out into the flower bushes right outside. Thank god they’d been on the first floor.

Ever since that moment in the office, that one where (name) had told him about Lockwood and Lucy, the one where she held his hand, it had become blatantly obvious how wrong George had been about everything. Even now, he could tell that the energy that she and Lockwood shared was nothing like the one Lockwood had with Lucy. How hadn’t he noticed sooner?

Frankly, he didn’t really care about that now. He was too caught up on the phantom touch of her hand in his and the smiles she kept sending his way.

She’d held his hand in the taxi on the way home, claiming it was just because the poltergeist had freaked her out, but he had a feeling that wasn’t the entire truth. (name) was one of the bravest people he had ever met, so a poltergeist wasn’t going to be the thing to shake her out of the norm. But George didn’t mind.

He hadn’t ever been big on being touched, disliking the way it made his skin feel, but he found himself staying close to her, aching to hold her hand again. And, judging from the twitch of her fingers, the way they inched closer to his when he sat next to her, he figured she felt much the same.

And, with a smile, he wrapped his hand around hers, enjoying the feeling of her skin against his.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello, my dear friend! 😎

I hope you're having a wonderful day. I've come to fulfill my noble quest, as promised.

So, we've already had pregnant MC, which I adore and cherish, like all your works. What you do is amazing, and I hope you know that. You bring the kind of joy into our lives that I think does wonders for our weary souls. On top of that, you're one of the kindest souls I've ever met, and I'm lucky to have you in my life and be able to call you my friend. Seriously, you're a miracle and you make the world a better place.

But to my actual request. Could you please do headcanons about the M6 being pregnant? Seahorse dads are very much encouraged 👀 I often think about having children with Nadia, but I don't really like the idea of being pregnant myself (although our dear Countess does make me want to consider it every once in a while. The baby fever is very strong with her.) Plus, I'm certain there are other people like myself who prefer not to get pregnant or they simply can't for various reasons.

Thank you! Hugs to you and much love 🤗❤

Ps.: I'll kiss you if you do it (in a friendly but still very gay way)

The Arcana HCs: When M6 get pregnant

@theintrovertbean I'm here to collect my platonic but still very gay smooch, please :3 (In all seriousness though, I keep rereading your kind words and trying not to cry, that means so much to me. I'm so glad I get to call you my friend too!!)

-- CW for mpreg (obviously). for headcanon purposes, all members of the M6 want to have a child with MC and are happy with being the partner to be pregnant. whether this happens by natural means, depending on what reproductive system you headcanon them as having, or by *magic*, said baby is 50% your DNA and 50% theirs. --

Julian

Did the two of you take active steps to make it possible for him to carry your child? Yes. Did he think he would be fortunate enough for it work? No. Is he surprised now, even though it's planned? Yes

The most freaked out about what his body is in the process of doing. Again, this is something he agreed to and genuinely wants, but it's just so surreal to him that he keeps needing to rationalize it

His way of rationalizing things is to study them

This does not help his ever-present anxiety, especially when he has to limit his caffeine intake and his mood swings are even more intense than normal. He is going to bury himself in research

And then completely freak himself out with the assorted random weird facts, unhinged medical theories, and pregnancy horror stories that he encounters. Which isn't good for the baby

Speaking of, he keeps swinging wildly between being hyperaware of the tiny creature he's growing and completely forgetting about his state. Suddenly his self-care directly impacts someone else

Spending nine months with limited caffeine intake and 0 alcohol was actually very good for him. (even if it made him cranky at first)

The overall process was fairly smooth for him - he didn't have a lot of awful symptoms, and the only health scares were his own anxious "what if" spirals after reading horror stories before bed

Kept working the whole way through (though with considerably fewer hours so he could get more sleep), and generally did a great job whenever he wasn't thinking too hard about it all

Asra

They never actively envisioned this happening in their future, but when you brought up having kids in the first place they were already fairly open to the idea of being the one to carry the baby

There was definitely magic involved in the conception. He's too extra for there not to be (plus, a little boost never hurt anybody)

For such a normally chillaxed person, they did not take this decision lightly. Everything from planning, to conception, to preparing to raise a kid is full of intentionality

He wants to ensure that his kid gets a childhood that lasts as long as they need it to and a happy, safe environment to grow and explore. His baby fever wasn't intense but his nesting habits are

They get in several last crazy adventures before they start to feel the pregnancy and then spend the rest of it either sleeping, getting the baby's space ready, or eating the most unreal food combos

Seriously, you expected weird cravings, but considering how unusual his tastes already are you didn't think it could get much weirder. It can get so, so much weirder (he even managed to finally pry open that jar of kool-aid pickled garlic and put it in custard)

Between their parent's enthusiastic support and Nadia and Julian providing full medical backup, they are well looked after

Not to mention the pregnancy glow. He makes it look ethereal

They aren't fond of physical discomfort, though, and it makes them unusually broody and cuddly. Please give them snuggles

They spend weeks creating the most whimsical nursery

Nadia

She was actually the one to bring it up when she started talking about her expectations of marriage with you after proposing

For how strained her own relationship with her family is, she's more excited about starting one of her own with you than you expected. When you tell her that you want kids too, she's all for it

Sets a rule as soon as she tells her family that she won't be accepting more than two visitors at a time. Namar nearly revolts

Her pregnancy was not easy, at all. It was months before she could keep a full meal down, she was in near constant pain, and the fatigue was unrelenting. And she never let on in public, at all

Seriously, the only people who knew how hard it was were her close friends, trusted Palace people, and doctor. From the outside it was as if she couldn't feel it at all and life carried on as usual

The biggest noticeable difference (aside from her growing bump, which she somehow managed to make her draping clothes look even more regal with) was having Portia deliver speeches for her

Towards the final few months, it caught up to her enough that she couldn't be nearly as active as she used to. She turned one of her side chambers into her office and took all her meetings there

It also became evident how much the Palace staff loves their countess - the cooks worked tirelessly to find easy meals for her (and satiate every craving beyond the laws of culinary art)

Not to mention that the garden was immaculately kept

The amount of gifts for the baby took up several small closets

Muriel

He didn't bring it up. No, you brought it up, because of how out of hand his baby fever was getting. He'd gone from begrudgingly letting kids climb on him to actively offering to help watch them

Which turned into a lifestyle - he started spending all his free time carving toys so he could carry them in his pocket in case some shy toddler looked like they wanted one. You're running out of firewood

He offered to be the one to carry the baby, if you didn't want to

The psychological aspect of it is much harder for him than the physical. He knows his own body, he knows his strength and capacity for survival, and he's comfortable with what he's doing

But that is a whole other person-to-be he's growing, they deserve the best they can get, and he's not convinced he's the best

Is this ... selfish of him? Is this greedy? He knows he'll put everything he is into being a good parent, but what if someone else's best is better than his? MC, what are we doing??

These anxiety spirals happen frequently, either when he's gone too long sitting by himself or when the pregnancy insomnia makes it impossible for him to sleep the amount he normally likes to

On the plus side, the mood swings actually make it easier for him to express what he's feeling (and for you to know what's going on with him) so that you two can navigate it together

Asra is so excited to have a nibling that they stop by almost every day with baby gifts (and supplies from Nadia, once she knows)

He full body freezes every. single. time the baby moves

Portia

Oh, she's wanted to have a house full of kids since she was a kid in a house full of kids. She brought this up with you as soon as she started talking about a future together and she is so pumped

Literally nothing about the concept of it fazes her. She's helped with plenty of pregnancies and births, she's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, and she is fully confident with you by her side

In her mind, this is the first of many (assuming all goes well, which she fully believes it will) so this is her chance to take things as they come and note them down for future reference

Keeps a daily journal with all her pregnancy observations, plus doctor's notes from weekly check-ups and plans for the baby

You didn't know pregnancy could make somebody more powerful but somehow she's done it. You expect it to catch up to her at some point and for her to take time off to rest, but she doesn't

The pregnancy glow is real and it is named Portia Devorak. You've never seen her hair so bouncy and full (shedding increases x10)

The biggest downside is that she can't stand the smell of cooking or baking anymore, which has long been one of her comfort activities. You'll have to manage meal prep (or partner with a chef)

Speaking of, half the Palace is asking for updates on a daily basis (which she happily provides). Nadia's showering her with more supplies and maternity leave than Portia wants to accept

Julian panicked about being the doctor until Mazelinka shoved him aside and took over as midwife. Portia's in skilled hands

Lucio

This was not planned. This was a happy accident. (Though Bob Ross never painted such a surprised, panicked, violent tree)

Whether because protection didn't work, or because Lucio saw a glowing orb in a weird dream and decided to mess with it while he was sleeping next to you, neither of you were remotely prepared

It doesn't really compute for him at first. The growing thing in his stomach is about as real as the tooth fairy - it's a concept that people tell him about before he goes back to daily life

It's a concept he's fiercely protective of and wants the best for

On a practical planning level, you two take advantage of his relatively easy first few months to take on a bunch of high paying jobs and revisit villages that seemed like a good spot to stay in

He's almost symptom-free until the bump really starts growing and his body starts adjusting for the extra weight. Thankfully by then you've found a place to settle down and reliable income

Lucio, understandably, becomes a complete diva once you do

He's pretty darn proud of what his body is doing, and he's relieved beyond words that he's having an easier time than what his mother described, but he does not like the way he looks

Or the aches and pains, or the breathlessness, or the way his whole body feels swollen and sore. (at least his hair looks nice)

You've never had such a hard time keeping him to his intended budget. He sees one (1) baby item and his wallet flies open

His sweet tooth gets 1000 times bigger than it already is

[yuikomorii]

Ayato used to be special, that’s true but now? He pretty much lost the personality that made him stand out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

No offense here but one thing I hate about dating sims is when the guy starts worshipping the MC to the point that they always do as she says whether if that’s wrong or right.

I can remember the times Ayato got in troubles due to trusting Yui’s words too much or caring too much about her comfort when more serious issues were around and I swear there is even a ‘I will build a castle for you’ scene ??? that made me cringe so bad

I don’t get what this fandom got with simps, it’s none of my business tho but that’s not even funny at this point anymore.

// No because at this point I’m convinced more than half of the fandom mischaracterizes Ayato so bad that I’m genuinely questioning whether you truly played the games/read the translations or you simply couldn’t care less about what you were playing/reading.

First of all, there is a distinction between worshiping and appreciating someone. Ayato treats Yui as an equal; he does not regard her as a goddess or an inferior, which is completely fine because this is the healthiest way for a relationship to function. He trusts her words so much because he loves her and believes in her abilities.

Secondly, Ayato didn’t lose his personality and if you went through his routes, listened to the serious CD dramas, read the official short stories + YB and paid attention to what’s written about him in the books, you would know that.

It was mentioned several times that Ayato’s true face is the one of a sweet and pure-hearted boy. Usually, when people hear the word “pure-hearted” they think of someone kind or innocent, but the term goes beyond that. Everyone can be kind sometimes, everyone was pure at some point and some still continue to be like that if life didn’t hit them hard enough but not everyone can be pure-hearted. Being pure-hearted ( 純情 ) means having a self-sacrificing devotion, helping and forgiving the ones who wronged you and empathizing with them. This perfectly describes Ayato because I swear, this boy is the King of Second Chances.

Even Rejet mentioned in the second picture that by touching the true side of Ayato, who always pretends to be strong, you will fall in love with him.

That’s actually a true statement and I can clearly see why he’s the apple of Yui’s eye because Ayato is by far the most hardworking and ambitious Diaboy and the fact he would do anything to make his girl happy, even starting to study in order to get into college (although part of his trauma has to do with it since Cordelia mercilessly punished him every time he refused to study), adds +100 respect points.

The "I'm gonna build a castle for you!" scene from his MB After Story wasn’t cringe at all; he was just trying to show Yui how grateful he is to have her by his side all the time. He didn't expect her to get a job too; he simply wanted to be the one who worked so as she could live a happy life and fulfill his role as her husband.

In the official after story of the MB After story (translated by Koiiro), Ayato stopped skipping classes at college so as to make Yui proud. He’s trying his best to be a better person just for her and if you still find THIS cringe, then… that’s on you.

Last but not least, it’s true that Yui’s decisions aren’t always the best but instead of blaming her for making dumb choices and Ayato for trusting her, why not blame the person who put them in an uncomfortable situation??

[thesovereignsring-if]

Honestly, maybe if you were forthright on how the story gonna be like, then the anon(s) wouldn't be so mad. There where a bunch of asks about whether the MC would be competent but instead of giving a straight answer you went about what this story is and isn't without actually answering the questions. Sometimes you make it seem the mC is only relevant because the other characters love the MC, and that's the only merit the MC has. And instead of confirming witch it is, you keep talking about power fantasy like wanting the mc to have qualities other than love interest/siblingtTM is wish fulfillment.

I've scrolled down the whole blog, and don'tknow wha

I know you're probably saying this kindly, but I'm probably going to answer slightly more emotionally than usual. Since you scrolled down the whole blog, you should have a seen idea the kinds of asks I've been answer to and why I might colour my words the way I have been.

But before I do that, I would politely ask you to never try to justify a certain anon's anger or behavior towards me by saying I should do this or that- I'm not here to placate people. I am here to write and produce a story and game. I don't care if people agree with what I say or not, and honestly I don't care if people get angry, but lashing out in anger in THIS fashion is completely unacceptable.

I believe I have been forthright and I already give away more information about the story and plotline than I really should to temper audience expectations.

I zero in on the 'power fantasy' and 'wish fulfilment aspect' because because that's what, at the end of the day, what those anon(s) want. That's what a large majority of fiction sets out to be. Especially popular media. Wish fulfillment. And it's exactly what I say it is:

A power fantasy is wish fulfillment, empowerment and feelings of accomplishment, in all shapes and forms. It’s feeling you have worth, it’s feeling like you did something good or right. It feeling like your useful. It’s all the things that send the happy feelings to your brain. Being “competent” and “useful” can also falls into that category.

How can I not be more clear that the story is meant to be oppressive and disempowering etc?? That it's not going to be that?? I explain, justify with reasons within the MC background. I've already buildt up and fleshed out in the game why the MC is exactly way they are are the beginning of the game. AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME. But if larger thematic concepts are too broad, then I've already said the MC is the underdog. Do people know what that even is anymore? I feel like I'm losing my mind.

So I'll be clear on this once again. This story is not going to give you instant gratification, you might not get it all at. The whole narrative is meant to be bittersweet at best and painfully depressing at worse. That is in almost every aspect of the narrative, including the MC.

You're going be used. You're going to be lied to. You're be betrayed. You're gonna be humiliated. And sometimes, you're going to have to gritt your teeth and move on. The MC is going to have to do that. So does everyone else in this goddamn story.

I don't give concrete answer because it's clear what I deem is competent does not match what others deem competent. Because if I do, people are going to come back and be say "but you said this..., you said that..." No matter what I say or do, people have their own expectations and belief and it's probably not going to live up to those expectations because.

And that's too bad. I've already written enough in Chapter 1 that shows mages and soldier MC can defend themselves just fine. I've already written that the MC can have a fruitful future ahead of them with their conversation with the Empress. They aren't the best in their field- they can't. They're barely an adult when the story starts. Do you hear how crazy that sounds? Most of the cast the far is 5+ years older than the MC. They have wars and conflict to prove themselves. The MC has basically finished high school and can already land a pretty comfortable career in the Empire for the rest of their life already.

This story has magic and monsters and kings and queens, but write my characters with a more realistic foundation. A lot of popular narratives have MC that dominate the narrative and I've telling everyone again, that this is not going to happen. The MC is going to have fight tooth and nail, like everyone else. It's on equal grounds.

And I say that the MC is loved and is relevant for simply being alive and loved- its because they are. The whole narrative conflict of the game is a succession dispute with in the family, were all the current successors have equal claim to the throne- including the MC and their older brothers who love them. It doesn't matter if the MC is the strongest, most powerful, capable or if they're passive. This is a constant that cannot and will not change no matter what kind of MC people play.

Sorry, but I'm starting if i'm starting to loose my patience with you, Anon, cause it does seem like you sent this in good faith, but I am getting tired of trying to justify myself all the time, especially after dealing with a particularly obsessive individual, who would not accept any explanation I gave and instead called it 'bullshit plot armor', when it really is a different flavor of realism. So forgive me, if I stop being kind, polite or generous with my time for them. Furthermore, you didn't read the messages they sent to my inbox because I made the choice not make them public and delete them. I only have so much time in the day to write game and answer every ask in my inbox. I wish I could, but I cant. There's 45 messages in my inbox as I'm writing this, but I try to answer the ones I feel are relevant and time sensitive.

Now I've said my piece, I'm gonna go retreat into my writer's den. If people are upset with what I've written so far, then I implore them to go back to pinned post, read and decide for themselves if they're willing to come along for the ride. Because if you people come at me with the same questions, I will answer the same way. If you do not understand what I am saying, than perhaps you may need to see it at a different perspective.

[tarotofzhivamoon]

Pick a picture reading

💌Love letter from your person💌

Hi! Thank you for stopping by and reading my work. I hope that you’re going to find the guidance that you need🫶��� You can now book a reading with me! Visit my services here and just message me if you are interested in booking any reading.

Pause and take a big breath in, then choose the pile you feel the most drawn to🦋

Masterlist • P@tr30n • Personal readings

Pile 1

“I want to go above and beyond for you, on any level there is, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, just give you the best of the best that there is on this earth and in the heavens, on this whole wide Universe, I would truly do anything to see you happy, to see you fulfilled and secure with me because that’s one of my priorities. I want to give you the best I have because I also know that you are so willing to show and give me the same love, appreciation, affection that I want to give you. You are everything to me, the moon to my stars, the perfect partner that just completes me so effortlessly, so organically, so magically, it all just feels like a fairytale when I am with you and there’s nothing else that I would want more than to be loved by you. I don’t want you to ever change because you are just perfect the way that you are right now, I love you with every cell in my being and I am so delighted that you have chosen me to be the one you love as well. We did have our fair share of setbacks, we didn’t always know what we know now about each other because we came from different backgrounds, there’s no relationship that doesn’t have it’s own little plot twists that could make or break it, but I am so glad that ours just got us closer together to one another, closer to actually realizing what we need to compromise on and we’ve managed to actually reassess our expectations to simply find that beautiful balance that was going to result in a really mesmerizing happiness within, for both of us. I actually know that if you were to look around yourself, you might find better options than me, you might see someone that just gets you faster than I did, but you don’t understand how grateful I am that you actually never cared for those other options, that you actually chose me and you are now standing in your decision every single day and I just hope that —

If you enjoyed this reading, the full, in depth reading is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find in my masterlist pinned post. Thank you so much for your support💗

Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Pile 2

“From the moment I saw you I wanted to give you the world, I knew that you were a blessing that the Universe has sent me and I was so appreciative to have even met someone like you because it was like I was handed the perfect gift at the perfect time and you were that perfect gift for me. I know that materialistic things do not really interest you, I really admired about you the fact that I can’t “buy” your love and that I had to actually work hard, to put in the effort to have someone like you in my life instead of just you being so easily obtained and honestly this opportunity to have you in my life has absolutely made me feel as though I finally received everything that I have always wanted, you are the one thing that I have prayed and wished for night after night, day after day and it’s just so amazing to have you here, to have your attention, to see how much thought, affection and care you put in your gestures towards me, everything that you’re giving me is just from your heart. I have learned so much about myself next to you, it’s like you have perfectly mirrored back to me everything that I needed to see about myself that I wasn’t really aware of before and I know you understand that two people can’t simply be in proximity to one another all the time, be a pretty big part of each other’s lives everyday and now experience some bit of friction because even though i feel that our connection is somewhat ethereal, we’re still human beings at the end of the day and we are going to disagree with one another at times. What I loved the most about this and about you is that when this tension between us arises, you have been able to make me feel as though I could share my feelings and thoughts with you, without being afraid of anything because there was such safety between us and I know that in the end we usually resolve any conflict that arises with such an elegance because we just work together, somehow. You always had it in you to —

If you enjoyed this reading, the full, in depth reading is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find in my masterlist pinned post. Thank you so much for your support💗

Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Dividers by Kawaii-Lau on Tumblr🦋

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-paperbacks]

Zosima’s response to Mme Khokhlakova in 2.4 is very heartening and profound. I struggle to articulate my thoughts on it, which also ties into my own interpretation of The Idiot—another thing I struggle to articulate and one of the many things I’ve intended to make a post about without ever quite managing. But I’m going to do my best here.

So as Zosima says, proof is not possible here. There is no way to prove that the God of the Bible exists, or that Jesus the Nazarene was actually raised from the dead, or that there is any continuation of life after death. And I feel that what Zosima is getting at here, which is somewhat surprising in a way, is almost that it doesn’t matter.

Because if those three things are true, then the prescribed way to live is a life of active love—love of God and love of neighbour being the two greatest commandments, right? And Zosima is no ascetic; he shows us that such a life, while involving self-sacrifice for the good of others, is by no means austere or joyless. He jokes and smiles, he is happy, “merry”, he interacts with people rather than sequestering himself. And he is loved and cared for in return. He seems completely fulfilled.

But what if none of those things are true? What if God does not exist and Jesus rotted in that tomb and there is no possibility of life after death? In that case, is not a life of active love toward one’s fellow humans beautiful and meaningful regardless? And perhaps even especially if none of that is true. Because if none of that is true, then a few decades on this earth are all we have. And so would it not be most fulfilling to live them well, to live for the good of something beyond oneself?

Is not striving to demonstrate active love (which I hardly need say does not correlate, or seldom coordinates, with religiosity) the best way to live either way?

Compare:

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

- 1 John 4:8, KJV (italics mine)

If that is true, then the inverse is true: “Whoever loveth knoweth God; for God is love.”

‘Try to love your fellow human beings actively and untiringly. In the degree to which you succeed in that love, you will also be convinced of God’s existence, and of your soul’s immortality And if you attain complete self-renunciation in your love for your fellow creatures, then you will unfailingly come to believe, and no form of doubt will ever be able to visit your soul. That has been tested, that is precisely true.’

- The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky, 2.4, David McDuff translation

And that leads into my takeaway from The Idiot. (Spoilers ahead). Myshkin is a perfectly beautiful man, or close to it. But he cannot save anyone—not Rogozhin, not Nastasya, not Ippolit or Ivolgin or anyone else. In the end, he cannot save even himself.

But worse still, he seems to often have a negative impact. His presence seems to bring out some of the worst in people. And to that last point, the same is true of Christianity: throughout history, these teachings of love and self-sacrifice have somehow managed to bring out some of the ugliest aspects of humanity and used to justify some of the worst atrocities. And what if, after all that, Jesus stayed dead in the tomb, meaning that he did not save anyone? Not humanity as a whole, not one individual, not even himself? What then?

Is there still something of beauty there? Is there still something worthy of imitation? And is there still something good that comes out of it all (the effect on the child Kolya, perhaps)? These are the questions.

As a final note, this panel from the graphic novel everyone's a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by jomny sun has really stuck with me. Joy and active love in a world that is mysterious and filled with suffering.

[redroomreflections]

Hi!!! No request/ask or anything. I just really wanted to compliment your work. I absolutely fell in love with TLH and completed reading the series on AO3 and now I’m slowly, but surely, on my way to reading the oneshots (I really want to savor them all). Please mind my grammar and/or spelling it’s literally 6:30am while I’m typing this.

Reading it felt so right to me. I’m a black reader, so obviously when writers describe their readers it means their skin flushes red, they bruise green and purple, their most intimate parts are pretty and pink. This story was consistent in the visual description of everyone. It made me so excited to read. I also am familiar with ATL so getting to read the parts about the kids going to Cascade and even WaffleHouse was so fun. I was smiling hard the entire time because I could literally picture the inside of that rink!!! The way black families operate oh my god..the dialogue and dynamic was so on point. It wasn’t exaggerated, I’m so used to it being that and it wasn’t!! It’s refreshing that I could read this and see my own mom and cousins and uncles in these characters (at some times it’s not the best thing lol).

Every thing about the kids felt appropriate. You know how to write a teenager, children, and a toddler. The way you detail the expressions and personality of the youngest is incredible too. You presented their struggles, you gave them a personality, you gave them weight in the story and that’s something a lot of writers tend to fail at when it comes to kids. Even when you wrote about their cousins it wasn’t repetitive. You didn’t just include children as an influence to/on the couple, they were focused on just as much! I loved when one of the kids would exit or enter the room and the story would follow them. Or when their individual issues are actually followed up in depth! I like that their relationship with the kids was tailored and each of them relied on either parent, or even the grands, for different things. I’m happy you gave them just as much life and made it their story too! I was in awe of your writing through each of their struggles and I loved the way they’re being parented as well.

Melina and Alexei being involved in their lives made me smile. Their little moments with the kids were heartwarming and humorous. And I’d definitely love to read, if you haven’t wrote it yet, how the two of them were introduced back into Natasha (and Yelena’s) life. And I want to see the conversation Natasha had with them about boundaries when it came to parenting and grand-parenting, as well as how they went about repairing their relationship + if they hit any bumps along the way. But mind you I haven’t read all the one-shots yet😣

The understanding, softness, and vulnerability shown by both the reader’s character and Natasha was so well done. I like that we got to see, especially towards the end, how Natasha’s role as an Avenger affects their family dynamic. Not enough people explore Natasha as both a parent and Avenger. And not many people would care to write how the outside world’s views could seep into the minds of their children too AND how they’d handle/discuss it. I also love that out of the two, Natasha was home more often. Whenever Natasha reigns the reader in, and vise versa, it’s super cute to read. They are such a great fit for each other, and I’m trying to say that as objectively as possible. They ground each other well. Their intimacy is warm. Their connection and depth is to die for. The angst was delicious. They felt like two real grown-ups and it was so yummy to read. I love, love, loved how they found time for each other and how much they enjoyed the little moments in between their hectic lifestyle.

I swear to god I have never been so fulfilled reading a black reader story! I felt so much emotion while reading. Every bit you wrote felt so mindful. I cried multiple times throughout the story, I cursed out hella characters too, and I loved getting rowdy when Cara was beating ass. Reading this was so convincing if that makes sense?? It’s like I could see how the camera would pan in certain moments. It felt so real life. It was authentic to me.

Your word choice, pacing, the plot, etc was just immaculate. Truly. I want to write like you!!! I wish I was this gifted. I find it amazing that a thought can come out of your brain and become something so articulate without lacking vitality.

While reading I knew I wanted to leave you a message like this. There have been many things I wanted to say I picked up on and adored but I’ve forgotten, plus it’s 7am now, my eyesight is failing me, and the sun is rising so it’s time I go to sleep! I can’t wait to lose more hours over your one-shots🤭This piece was important to me, and to describe it in full is extremely difficult. I really adore your work. Thank you for writing this🤍

Now that I have a little bit of time, I am kind of emotional over this. As a writer, I always want to be authentic in the way I write and how I use the tools i have to create that authenticity. A lot of these characters are based on real life family members and interactions I have with others. I wanted to also make sure I was keeping Natasha in character which is hard af for me.

It really brings me joy to know that this work really resonates with you. Just know that you will love the one shots and there will be more to come with the family once I'm done with school and can write for all of my WIPS.

Thank you so much friend. This was so kind and you truly brightened my day.

[omgthatdress]

In the books, Nellie was an Irish-American servant girl that Samantha befriends and teaches to read. Because Samantha is nine and has had a fairly sheltered upbringing, she doesn’t quite have the understandings of class structure that separates her and Nellie, she just sees a friend. Nellie opens Samantha’s eyes to the broader world beyond Grandmary’s mansion and helps her understand the social issues facing turn-of-the century America.

In Changes for Samantha, Grandmary has finally married Admiral Archibald Beemis, and Samantha has gone to live with Uncle Gard and Cornelia in New York City. There, she finds out that Nellie’s parents have died and she is living with her uncle Mike in the city. Samantha sets out to find her, only to find that she’s been abandoned and is living in an orphanage. Eventually, she helps Nellie and her sisters escape, and they come to be adopted by Uncle Gard and Cornelia.

I always thought that felt like an unreasonably happy ending for Nellie, given her social inferiority and that adoption was actually fairly taboo in the era of social darwinism and eugenics, but I also know that rich White progressives of the era LOVED doing shit like that, so I guess it’s not completely unreasonable.

Reading the summary of the book Nellie’s Promise made me sooooooo fucking happy. It gets into all those issues of social inequality and gives Nellie a lot more agency in being more than just a lucky orphan. I especially loved the parts about how Nellie was unhappy going to Samantha’s private girl’s school where she was learning nothing practical and only being trained in how to be a rich society wife. Nellie knew she needed a practical education so that she’d be able to secure a job in the future and fulfill her promise of taking care of her sisters. In the end, she’s able to enroll in a vocational school that fits her needs. I love it. I love it so fucking much.

Before I go any further, I should probably just go ahead and say that in this era, the Irish were still very much considered White. The definition of Whiteness in the 1900s was very different from what it is today (plz read The History of White People by Nell Irvin), and some people were Whiter than others, but the Irish were White. White*, if you will. They would be listed as White on all their legal documents, and weren’t faced with segregation the way that Black people were. The Irish were never slaves (they sure as shit were slave owners, though!) and don’t ever fucking compare anti-Irish discrimination to anti-Blackness and anti-Semitism. They are all their own unique things and playing the oppression olympics does no one any good. And YES I know about the history of the colonization of Ireland by England and anti-Irish attitudes in the UK, but I’m talking about American history. Anti-Irish American history and Anti-Irish British history are very, very different.

There’s a lot of raging ongoing debate about the extent to which the Irish were discriminated against in the US, and yes, there was discrimination. But literally EVERY immigrant group in the US faced discrimination and even violence. There’s a lot of academic debate about the whole “No Irish Need Apply” thing, but it was like that for EVERYONE. Italians, Poles, Greeks, Germans, Swedes, you name it, immigrants in general were all treated as unwelcome and less-than by the Anglo-Saxon Protestant powers that be at some point, the Irish were just another part of that. The idea that the Irish were somehow unique or special in their discrimination in America is a myth.

The point I’m making is that a lot of conservative Irish-Americans LOVE to make big maudlin claims of Irish victimhood and Irish slavery (THE IRISH WERE NEVER SLAVES) that somehow means they’re somehow exempt from having White privilege and taking personal responsibility to not be a racist fuck. That is pure bullshit, Irish-Americans have been White as fuck ever since JFK.

ANYWAY. All that being said, I love Nellie’s little outfit. It’s actually super accurate! A lovely little summer dress, perfect for visiting the ice cream parlor!

(The Museum of London, credit @in-pleasant-company​)

Again, like with Samantha, the hat should be more perched on the hair and held in place with hat pins rather than fitted to the head. But that’s probably beyond your average 7-year-old’s patience, so I guess I can give them a pass.

[hanako-san]

Hi Hanako-san ^^

Well, I'm not here to ask you a question, but…

I've been thinking about this for a while, I was a little embarrassed to say it but I wanted to let you know. Your love for Amane makes me want to see more of what you have to say.

The way you can see him, the way you protect him, the way you still see him as a person, not a ghost, not a dangerous supernatural, just a little boy. The one who is clearly asking for help in silence… lonely.

Sometimes I think that you would be the person he would fall in love with if that were possible. Because you have to offer him everything he so desires.

I like him a lot, whether as Amane or as Hanako, and it always hurts me to see him get close to so many people who despise him, or how his own choices lead him to get close to people or loves that will hurt him. Your desire to protect him is so genuine that I can see it without much effort.

I like how you really see Amane, not Hanako, but Amane, who he really is. I like to see how he has such a strong meaning for you to the point that you are happy to notice that on his birthday it snowed where you live. I like seeing the true love you feel for him, it warms my heart.

Even though I am impartial with all the characters, and know that they all have qualities and flaws, including Hanako, I can understand that, even though he made mistakes, he still has a gentle and kind heart, and that he deserves to be happy too.

Nowadays, I meet people who like and talk a lot about Tsukasa, I also really like this little one, but I wish they gave a little more love to Amane too, so I'm happy to have found you. You give him the love he deserves.

Happy New Year, I hope this message warms your heart 💕

Hi Thelunarfairy ^^

I will answer right away that your message surprised me, made me happy and warmed my heart. Thank you with all my heart for such wonderful message!🥺✨💕 I wish you Happy New Year too💕

I'm glad you wrote this message overcoming your embarrassing. You really shouldn't be embarrassing. There's really no reason.

I'm very glad that you noticed it and that it really shows. I actually see it the way you described it. Amane, being a supernatural, is still the same poor and lost, wounded boy who calls for help in silence, but also doesn't want anyone to help him because he despises and hates himself. This boy is still there, being supernatural doesn't change anything. The fact that he has a slightly changed personality as a supernatural doesn't change anything for me. Is he dangerous. I have no idea. So far, he has shown that he is willing to do anything for the people he loves. If he is dangerous as a supernatural, then so be it. The only thing we have to support this claim are the words of Grandma Minamoto, Teru, who are not a reliable source of information for me. A fight broke out between them. I believe this because Amane said it with such experience, but I don't believe the rest until I see it. This lying and murderous family is not a reliable source for me and I know they are biased against Amane. And if he is 'dangerous' then let him show it! I want to see him in his full strength. I want him to destroy everyone there without exception. Others can, so can he, right? I know that Amane is a boy who does something for a very good reason. His actions are always well thought out, he knows what he is doing and what the consequences are,and he does it mainly for the sake of those he loves. He don't care about myself and his pain, because, as I said above, he thinks he doesn't deserve it. I want him to finally start thinking about himself and his own home, to put himself as the most important person and his own feelings. He fulfills his duties, gives himself completely for others - especially for the people he loves, but he doesn;t think about himself. It's so sad! My poor Moon. Hanako is Amane. Amane is Hanako. They are one and the same person. This boy who suffers and has great pain behind him is there and suffers even more as a supernatural. Amane needs love and protection. What I can give him, and I do. I'm really glad that it really shows the way I wanted it to. I always thought I was really bad at words and couldn't convey it. I'm very glad I was wrong.

Wow! That's nice and you know what? Thinking about it. Then I would be a better girlfriend than daikon. It's so nice of you!!! and thank you again! 💕

Do you like him a lot!!! I'm so happy to hear it!!! I know exactly what you mean. This also makes me sad and I consider it an injustice. I know this is how Amane wants to be perceived, which hurts me more and shows that he truly sees himself as a bad person who deserves nothing other than hatred from others. He thinks he deserves it. I completely disagree with him on topic! I'm really glad that my desire to protect Amane is visible. I really am so happy!

Wow! I'm super happy that you wrote this! I feel very,very,very happy that my love for Amane will warm your heart!! 🥹💕

I'm glad you're impartial to every character. What you write is absolutely true and I will tell you that whoever knows me privately knows well that I can criticize Amane or even say that I don't like his actions. I still feel that way and I know that he has qualities and flaws and what he does is sometimes wrong and I still don't like everything about what he does, but I know why he does it and I completely accept him with everything and I will continue to support him in his actions. Do I like them or not . It doesn't matter. Let him do what he wants.I will support and protect him no matter what happens in history and what he does. I love and support him with all my heart.

I know exactly what you're talking about. The same here. I meet Tsukasa stans more and talk to one of them. Earlier, I also talked to one stan Tsukasa and I realized that Tsukasa is more loved than Amane, despite the hatred Tsukasa receives. I'm glad you wrote this message. I know someone likes Amane too, not just Tsukasa. If they love Tsukasa more, it will be difficult to give love to Amane, because Tsukasa is important to them. That's how I see it. It's the same with me. I love Tsukasa, but I don't talk about him all the time and that I love him, because Amane is the one I really love and I want to talk about him and protect him. My love for Tsuaksa is much less than for Amane and I care less about him or not at all? That's I meant i'm indifferent to Tsukasa's pain and don't care about him but my will support, care for and love Amane with all my heart! Because Amane really deserves it! He's a wonderful boy. I'm glad you found me and sent me a message 💖

Thank you again for your message. You flatter me 💖

[ohemgeeejay]

Ok this is the last time that I personally am gonna ramble about The Umbrella Academy today. Much of this season was disappointing, the last 2 episodes in particular were very unsatisfactory. So I have to get my thoughts out in a (mostly) coherent way.

Spoilers under the cut <3

I have many critiques of season 4. I know we all do. I’m just really, especially devastated about the absolute bullshit that was Five and Lila’s relationship this season.

There was no reason for that. I truly believe it was the worst decision they could have made for those two characters. It was so inaccurate to the morality and personality that had already been established for each of them. Not to mention the fact that neither Five nor Lila would ever willingly do something that they know for a fact would hurt Diego so much, and risk tearing apart their entire family. I always thought of Five and Lila as best friends, people who are truly able to understand each other because they’ve both been through the same bullshit with the Handler and the Commission. They did not have the romantic chemistry for that sub plot to feel natural. Their romance felt forced. The trauma of being trapped in that subway, jumping between timelines, never able to get home, for SEVEN YEARS is drama enough on its own! There was no need for a cheating scandal.

That romantic relationship between Five and Lila was so bad. It was bad for the plot and it was bad for the characters. And what makes it even worse is that nothing came of it at all! Diego finds out, and then he has to accept never seeing his kids again, never seeing his family again, and being erased from existence completely. He got no real closure.

Also, the fact that not a single member of the Hargreeves family got an actual happy ending? Like, yes, they died together, loved by each other despite how immensely fucked up their lives and the world is. However, nobody got to be fulfilled in their lives. Which, I guess is realistic— but when has this show cared for being realistic?

On one hand, I do think that sort of ultimate sacrifice ending was ideal, but on the other, I believe it was poorly executed. It was a beautiful action, very emotional, but there was no feeling of gratification watching it. It was just upsetting; it felt like a cop out. I don’t think the writers gave it enough time to have the proper emotional build up it needed for the impact they wanted.

I will say though, there were things in this season that I did enjoy. I really loved the relationship that Klaus had built with Claire, and the family dynamic that existed between those two and Allison. It was really sweet the way that they all loved and cared for each other so much. Also, as someone who comes from a very unconventional family structure, I always find it nice to see that sort of thing on screen. And as always, well ever since season 2, I adored Luther. He’s always in these fucking situations. Ben having gone to prison for Crypto scamming, and then comparing himself to ELON MUSK was also fucking hysterical to me.

In the end, I am gonna miss this show. I’ll miss the characters, the humour, and the entertainment it brought to me. I think TUA will always hold a little spot in the corner of my heart, even if this final season was not what I hoped it would be.

[commsroom]

Ok this is totally fix-it fic territory, just you're the only person I've seen who also doesn't love Eiffel's ending BUT What if after getting far enough away from whatever Cutter was using to block the dear listeners' abilities, Bob gives Eiffel his memory back. They have his brain almost completely copied after all. It would also be interesting to see him struggle with "would I really do THAT?" Like he just has such a hard time believing himself capable of growth and having positive impacts

oh, i honestly don't even think it's fix-it territory! i genuinely think he will regain his memory at some point; i think it makes narrative sense.

whether it's possible, with what the show sets up? the dear listeners are only invested insofar as it might impact the process, but, like you said, they could restore eiffel's memory. maybe even without active involvement. lovelace's blood was still working on eiffel (slowly, which might even make for a stronger case) a few days before the events of the finale, and memory is clearly a consideration in the 'pattern' of duplicates. maybe the regenerative properties apply to memory, too. and pryce scanned eiffel's brain back in ep 55, with the same kind of machine that was meant to instantly relay hilbert's memories back to canaveral; it's plausible there could be a backup.

... but even if none of that were the case! wolf 359 is a character drama, and what's important is what it says about eiffel. doug eiffel, who has spent so much of his life running from himself, whose character arc is about confronting and coming to terms with all of the people he's been, and his impact on the lives of the people he cares about. wiping his memory - if it's meant to be permanent - feels like a fulfillment of that wish, and it would be kind of. at odds with the themes of the show, when in every case it takes such a stance against attempted martyrdom. but as a set up for self-reflection and self-confrontation? i think it makes perfect sense, for someone who externalizes as much as eiffel does. i don't think restoring eiffel's memory is a cop out or fix-it any more than lovelace not actually dying is - it's not a tragic sacrifice, it's a narrative catalyst for character development. or, at least, that's how it makes sense to me.

i won't get too into the rest of my reasoning, since i know it gets long and it's mostly stuff i've talked about before, but! i do actually think the finale is a good narrative choice, i just feel differently about it than a lot of people seem to. maybe because the writers talk so much about their fondness for earned happy endings - that a happy ending is most impactful when you really think there won't be one - i just can't see wolf 359 as a tragedy. the simplified version: if "am i still doug eiffel?" is unanswered, then that's a whole set of unexplored themes. but if "am i still doug eiffel?" is a question with an answer - if the rest of the show, the repeated affirmation that other characters are who they decide they are despite their respective identity crises, the thematic context, "wanna find out together?", if all of that is the answer - then that final scene is an encapsulation and reaffirmation of the show itself. in my opinion, that makes for a really good ending.

[edelgarfield]

the like. popular fandom trope of "two people who are completely obsessed with each other to the exclusion of all else." we know what im talking abt right. like I'm thinking of persona, & iwtv, & some couples on cr, & a thousand other ships

I love that trope bc of The Mental Illness but like. sometimes i feel like there's this weird disconnect between the way i see the trope & the way a lot of other people do.

i like it bc the desire to be the most important thing in someone else's life is the thing ive wanted most my entire life. but to me the trope is a tragedy bc i know from experience that it's destined for failure, that it's, in my opinion, impossible to be truly happy & fulfilled if your support network consists of one person. for me, the desire to be someone's whole world is extremely selfish bc it means denying them the joy and affection that they deserve to find outside of me. it's an unattainable fantasy, that I know if I ever DID attain it, would never actually live up to the version that exists in my head.

are we following. but interacting with fandom sometimes I get the feeling other people like the trope bc they find it romantic or beautiful or exciting. and I generally don't really care abt how other people see fandom except that like. idk how to explain this. to me as an aroace person who exists on the periphery of a world that doesn't include me, the idea of a couple that's completely obsessed with each other and nothing else. that's just a normal heterosexual marriage. like the idea of your partner being Your Person and being willing to set everything aside for them. That's kind of what society already tells married people to do. Like it's extreme to be sure but I don't really think that attitude is uncommon either.

and I don't Get romance so it's possible I'm wrong, but every a-spec person has a dozen stories about lifelong friends that pushed them aside after marriage so I really don't think it's possible to claim there isn't truth to that. so like. sometimes when I see people buzzing abt this trope and making content that portrays it as achievable or fulfilling. I get that gut wrenching feeling I do when I see the people I love most pushing me aside for a new significant other. it's a trauma response but part of me can't help but feel like fandom is inadvertently propping up the very biases & attitudes that have ruined my life.

and I know some people pay lip service to the idea that like. "oh of course it's unhealthy, but these two are special." but that kinda feels empty bc I'm gonna be honest, EVERYONE thinks they're the exception. I don't want to make any sort of call-out or definitive statement it's just a constant feeling I have trying to just. exist on Tumblr.

[vonkarma2]

k/b and l/c are an interesting contrast here because Kaleela and Baize kind of don’t fit together very well, at least not for long— like at first Kaleela would be happy that someone who seems cool and confident not only has an interest in her, but also relies on her for help, which would probably make her feel more secure + glad to be useful to someone. However as time went on Baize’s reluctance to get close to anyone (as well as her generally abrasive and straight up annoying personality) would tear them apart. Baize doesn’t want someone to be nice to her and support her genuinely bc then she’ll get attached and have to rely on someone else (without any emotional distance), and Kaleela doesn’t want someone who will consistently ignore her and push her away ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think this is ultimately a good thing though bc it forces both of them to re-evaluate the way they are living and whether its actually helping them achieve what they want. Basically, Baize has a personality so bad it makes Kaleela develop self respect.

Conversely Lennox and Crow fit together extremely well in a way that fulfills their worst instincts and ruins their lives. Crow wants someone to follow unconditionally, with no consideration for his own needs or decisions. The way he idealizes Lennox and desperately looks for his approval provide a better replacement for his current situation, I guess, but they also reinforce the “do not think for yourself and let people use you for their own ends” mindset that got him into this mess in the first place 😭 and it also doesn’t lead him to question lycanthropic ideology in general– it’s why he’s still doing the skin tearing agonizing transformation process towards the end, despite it being completely unnecessary. Similarly, Lennox has his desire for respect fulfilled by both Crow himself and being able to use him for academic clout. It increasingly stops being about hurting the Sanctum in order to actually improve society, and more about being able to exert control over others and get revenge on the institution/society that excluded him. He literally watches people die every day it could just as easily be his family but he shuts off the part of himself that cares because he’s finally getting exactly what he wanted. Crow fucking dies bc of his inability to change, like they both cared abt each other (obviously Crow loved Lennox a lot more than the other way around, but Crow hasnt had anyone care about him At All since he was like 15) but it didn’t do much good bc they shut others out and either stayed the same or actively got worse. Evil ouroboros pairing.

Lennox and Baize fit together in the sense that they are literally the same person, like they both have a tendency to isolate themselves, spiral out into misery, lash out at others to make themselves feel better. and spend all day doing fuck all. I think they were drawn together at first bc of their similarly cynical personalities, and because finding someone who felt similarly lost and aimless genuinely felt better. They both had a molecule of caring for someone else in their life.. And it honestly helped them reflect on themselves as well and realize they had to move on and change their situation in life or they would be fucked, presumably bc it hurts watching someone you care for sink lower and lower instead of trying to escape, especially when you were relying on them to help you. They didn’t want to be that person, so they broke up in a shocking moment of maturity for both of them. This is kind of funny the healthiest relationships in werewolf story are the ones that divorce. No love

[bitch-butter]

⭐️⭐️

~ rivers rivers rivers rivers rivers ~

Web hummed, the vibration of his throat making Joe feel like a bee trapped in a jar. “You would be a good husband,” he said surely, sounding not far from sleep himself. “Good father. I think you’d be very happy, Lieb,” he said gently, and the sentiment was kind, earnest, but Joe felt nothing towards it. Maybe it was the pill, maybe he really just didn’t care. Maybe he had always been wrong in the act of unwanting. Did other people want things beyond the love of one person? He might never know. 

this was one of my favorite passages to write, because who doesn't love Lieb as an actual competant caregiver. additionally, and i was struck by how emotional it made me feel in the process of drafting it, but the fact that this conversation is coming in the immediate wake of both a horribly traumatic experience for the both of them And the first time that they ever speak the words "i love you" to each other. up until this moment in time they were content to leave it unsaid and allow the other to understand their feelings through actions, implication, support, etc. but it can no longer be that simple becuase now life and death has been involved in a place in their lives where they hadn't expected it.

and the immediate impulse is to assume that because they both made it out the other side of the experience they should be able to just slip back into their rhythm, but i thought the more interesting and Painful choice would be to finally have them say the words, survive, go home, and to Then be plagued by this insidious kind of doubt that they'd never had in their life before. like, Web has been holding these thoughts in his head a Lot longer than his accidents, but now he's so turned inside out and so in pain and confused that he can't hold in his own destruction anymore.

“Don’t you ever think about it?” Web pressed, anxiety attempting to imbue its way into the words and failing in the dark.

“No, I really don’t,” Joe said, as stern and sure as he could be in his current state, wishing he could crush Web’s body closer than close to his own, making their membranes go soft and sugary together like the happy guts of a fruit. “You shouldn’t either.”

an oft untouched element of any part of caregiving narratives is that even if it's important and meaningful it is still actually insanely exhausting to put yourself out on the line and bear the weight and be selfless. even if you're doing it for someone you love who needs it you can still feel tired and strung out, and i think that's where Lieb has gotten by this point. he thought he might not get Web back and now he has him back and Web is different and has different needs and this time which should be about them being happy and in love and grateful is actually run through with a massive amount of pain and exhaustion.

and it bothers him even more because web is bringing up something that he's desperately tried Not to think about for the past few years. as gay men in the 1960's it's imperative to keep quiet and keep contained and just let people assume your life around you instead of actually telling them about your life, so it's impossible that Lieb has Never considered what his life could be if he hadn't chosen to be with Web. he loves their life, and he wouldn't trade it, but it would be so easy to have just acted like he didn't want to live this life and marry a woman and have kids and fulfill peoples expectations. and sure he might die unsatisfied and completely un-actualized, but he wouldn't have to live two different versions of himself anymore. so the fact that web is seemingly goading him into admitting that he's thought about how simple his life could have been is just compounding the pain he's already in.

Silence stretched out long enough that he thought Web was back to sleep, that he nearly got there himself. “It’s hard not to sometimes,” Web said finally, tentative, a breath away from breaking his heart.

the nail in the coffin here is that as much as Lieb probably thinks about that other life unlived web is Also thinking about it. and that can make your life and your love and everything built around that feel very, Very fragile and somehow transitory. at such a fraught, emotional time in their life allowing even the tiniest Sliver of doubt to come in feels incredibly damaging, like everything could break down around it if they don't work hard to love and support each other. which is hard because they[re both already exhausted, depressed, and confused.

and That's what the last half of I saw stars is lol