#(the first one he almost lost)
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sceo weekend 2024 (day 3) → on the road
it might not be long, but baby, I'll love you 'til the day that I die.
#twedit#sceoedit#sceo#twrarepair#sceoweekend2024#HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII im rly proud of this one actually. teehee.#i had a fic idea but i kinda lost muse and then almost immediately i thought of This and im like ahhhh!!!#but also though i wasnt rly trying to do like... au where theo takes chris's place in the finale! but i kinda get how it reads that way LOL#this is more just Post Canon Sceo to Me.#theo shows up when scott calls!!!! scott asks so theo does baby!!!!!!!!!!#hesitance id think to pull his friends from their lives.. to ask his friends to endanger themselves... esp w the context from the movie#that theyre all sort of scattered and living diff adult lives#but u know who he doesnt feel bad bothering.......... his ally........ u know who has no direction anyways...... theo!#anyway this can also be called Road Trips throughout the yrs#the first one is w/o theo. but telling alec abt him w/ just the ally line#and then... u know. theo is there. teehee!
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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*.·:·.☽✧🕸🗲𝕊𝕖𝕓𝕖𝕜 𝕩 𝕊𝕜𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤🗲🕸✧☾.·:·.*
!!Spoilers for: lost in the book with tim burton's the nightmare before christmas!!
Their dynamic
Both are very passionate people, being a bit (a lot) loud and dramatic.
They are both very devoted to their interests, something that has alienated them from others, so they can understand each other in that area.
Quiet weirdo (kinda) x loud weirdo.
Trouble in paradise (not) + Confessing
The only people qualified to give relationship advice are Jack and Sally, and they are how they are so you can expect the kind of presents Skully is going to give the other boy.
As expected, Sebek is considerably weirded out by Skully giving him shrunken heads or a jar full of eyes; and let's be honest, Skully doesn't really know what he's doing, but if Mr. Jack tells him to do it, he will.
Sebek, on his end, doesn't really want to acknowledge his feelings for the other boy, as he still has a hard time letting go of his prejudices against non-fae people.
Idia has called him out on his tsundere behaviour 1000 times and has been yelled at in response about 1000 times as well.
Fighting against Skully? More like marriage trouble arc.
Poor man looks like a raisin after the fight because of how much he cries.
When trying to lift his spirits after the fight Sebek accidentally confesses his feelings.
The silence following that moment is deafening.
And then Skully breaks down sobbing.
He is so confused. How can someone as noble as Sebek like him? How can he accept this confession? He had already assumed that his feelings were not reciprocated???
Everyone thought they wouldn't get together bc how dense they are
They made bets
Jade won, of course because he knows everything (he spied them)
Kissing
Both want to kiss the other one (on the lips) but feel incredibly awkward and shy, so they stick at hand holding or cheek kisses.
When Skully finally musters up the courage to ask Sebek if he can kiss him the other nods so frantically it looks as if his head is about to fall off.
The first tries suck, which is to be expected since they have 0 experience.
When they get how to do it properly (without scrunching their faces like a cat who ate a lemon) they won't stop.
Lots of short kisses and pecking on the lips and cheeks
And hand kissing on Skully's end, obviously. He loves his knight's broad callouse hands, loves how they fit his slender (slightly dry) ones.
Sebek loves staring at his lover's eyes, loves how bright they are, resembling sparks of magic, and loves his fluffy hair (though he'll never admit that last one).
#this is such a popular movie why do almost all wallpapers suck I spent 10 min doing this one#yelloworks#i will be ignoring the event finale thank you#canon is a suggestion#for this i said screw canon#the first time i saw skully i was like “good enough welcome back gojo satoru from jjk”#/j#he's so silly#love the weird little guy#at first i thought about writing an x reader for him#but then i saw all the sebskully content and i was like huh would you look at that#so here it is#twst#twisted wonderland#sebek twst#sebek zigvolt#sebek twisted wonderland#skully j graves#twst skully#nightmare before christmas#sebek x skully#sebskully#lost in the book: nightmare before christmas#lost in the book with tim burton's the nightmare before christmas#hijimari no halloween#Skully belongs in drama school and you can try prying that#hc from my cold dead hands#I'm sorry for the English in this one#my bilingual brain was not computing today
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horrendously sick and twisted btw
#IT TEARS ME UP TO THINK ABOUT THE METEOR INCIDENT. I AM GENUINELY TORMENTED BY IT#slipping through his fingers.#it's crazy they were actually crazy for the whole meteor thing whoever thought of it needs to financially compensate NOW#i love you so much ill break every rule if it'd mean you'd be happy with me. run away with me#here i am im setting you free im giving you everything you want. could i be part of that? could i be part of what you want#till slips through ivan's fingers. world has now completely shifted#and he can't even be mad. not properly#because this is why he loves till in the first place. he just cant give up on what he cares about. he'll never stop fighting for it#ivan smiles like. this is why it's you#a lot has been said about the meteor scene already but that doesnt stop me from going insane over it#freedom means nothing if till isn't there with me WHAT IF I SHOOK YOU LIKE A RATTLE BOY#ivan was well off. he was eating at feasts. given fine clothes. groomed clean and celebrated for his achievements#yet he was willing to throw it all away#thinking about how they'd probably live on the streets again. struggle to get by on their own as lost little children#their lives would be closer to the one ivan lived in the slums#except the difference would be till. back then he had nothing. if till ran with him he'd have everything#and yet till turns and runs the other way and ivan follows him because of course he does. theres nothing else he'd rather do#any kind of suffering is worth it as long as its for you#till is stubborn. he's persistent. he can't let go.#well fortunately (or unfortunately) so is ivan. incredibly persistent#so here we go again. back in this prison brushing past one another knowing we almost had it all#I WILL GRAB YOU BY THE BOWLCUT AND WRING YOU AROUND LIKE A JOYSTICK BOY!!!!#YOU MAKE ME ILL!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#random ramble sorry i have Feelings
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aw man reading this portion in the first bit of mdzs in the og text, giving it my own translation and feeling bittersweet:
[WWX]
“魏无羡提起湿淋淋的手掌，就着溪水，一点一点抹去这不知是在嘲笑谁的粉饰。
并非无法承受。毕竟当初做出选择时，就已无比清楚，今后将面对的是什么道路。只记住云梦江氏教给他的东西，记住那一句家训——“明知不可而为之”。
只是自以为心若顽石，却终究人非草木。”
Wei Wuxian raised a wet palm by the stream. Bit by bit, he wiped away the powder makeup, its deriding laughter he wasn’t sure was directed at whom.
It was not that he couldn’t bear it. After all, when he made the decision back then, there was nothing clearer, about what the path he’d face thereafter would be like. He only remembered the things that Yunmeng Jiang Sect taught him, remembered that one line of the Sect motto — “Turn what you know is impossible into a possibility.”/“Attempt it even when you know it’s impossible.”
It was only that he thought the heart was like stone, but at the end of it all, people still were not plants and trees.
#loved this bit bc it’s one of the first portions to give us insight on his reflections#he never regretted anything#but it’s a bittersweet addition that he feels shaken to a degree#one of the first instances where he’s almost vulnerable with his emotions#iirc#there’s sm more to dissect in these paragraphs#mdzs#idek who this post is for lmao#wei wuxian#wwx#just me rambling at 2am with 10% battery#honestly started reading the og text bc I wanted to see any lost in translation stuff#also reading in Chinese makes me NOT speed read#which is good#I still can’t directly translate the Jiang motto#it’s something that will be lost in translation#there’s nuances that only Chinese speakers can understand#the 就这溪水 bit confuses me actually#loveleys_translations
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thinking about pre-virus friendships..
dragging each other to parts&service after smacking around intruders a little too good
#my art#fnaf chica#fnaf moon#daycare attendant fnaf#fnaf glamrock chica#security breach fanart#security breach chica#do Not Come into my house and tell ME Moon wouldnt have been soft with the other animatronics too.#impish. silly. pulling pranks sure.#more than once hes probably asked Chica “bad pizza?” when her arms been ripped off and very clearly been in a fight.#she'd answer “no pinapple”. and slump directly on him.#chica has watched. all of her friends. including herself surcome to the virus.#none of them tell on each other. they sure AF gonna bury that shit down.#moon being the theater animatronic. actor by day. he loves his role. he loves loves preforming.#and one day#hes just straight up not anymore. and he *knows* they tried to delete his code. out of convenience.#chica being the first to coax him out of hiding when the guests are all long gone home. sitting with him in the dark with no words.#she'd watched at least two of her friends disappear. and she'd almost lost Moon too. what a helpless feeling.#neither of them carry each other to parts and service anymore.#srryyyy ignore any typos.#.. also shoving them both into the microwave to spin around together- adjkaka.#doombop!
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Oh nothing, just Two Bit’s sister also losing Marcia when she moves to LA and she and Two Bit break up
#bc that poor girl has suffered so much#and lost so much#first her dad left#then she almost lost her brother to the same path as their dad#then she lost Johnny#and then she watched her brother spiral and start drinking even more#then she watched him quit drinking but also had to see as he relapsed a few times#then she started trusting Marcia#and suddenly it was like she had an older sister who she could always fall back on#she had someone who could teach her things and help her when her mom was busy working#she secretly hoped that her brother wouldn’t ruin it and they’d get married and she would always have her#then Marcia went to LA for college#but she still called her from time to time and they still wrote#then she came back#but of course#things never worked out#Marcia and two bit broke up#and suddenly the calls and letters stopped#and two’s sister was forced to suffer another loss of someone she let in#guys look#I’m back to making posts that make sense to a whole one person!
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Mark Webber reflecting on Seb's career at the Abu Dhabi GP
#i think these are the first gifs ive made from this weekend because back then my brain was far past its sell by date#lost all my marbles and brain cells and still not over it now#but this one moment#the loooooooooooooooks#almost the same reaction as that clip of mark touching his leg back when they were teammates#seb gazing at him the whole interview#nodding along to what he says#smiling giggling#my heartttt#happy monday#abu dhabi gp 2022#.2022#seb/mark#.mw gifs#sewellove gifs#martian#and these are debatable quality cos it wouldn't let me download the vid
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akanematic.mp4 (youtube link)
#I love how akane banashi discusses grief. I am pairing it with one of my fave songs about grief#akane banashi#issho arakawa#akane osaki#seb draws#it's so cool how everyone is grieving!!! each indiv chara in this vid is grieving for diff reasons diff ways and they all overlap <3#u know what i'm not done. i WILL go into this#kiroku is making space for grief by taking on the lost shiguma name. It’s he has lost miroku which is like losing a father. but he moves on#kiroku is the father figure for kisoba and rokuen that miroku couldn't be for kiroku. he literally carries kashiwaya (shiguma's art) w/him!#at the same time! kiroku DIES so soon after establishing the arakawa school and he tells kisoba 'you killed me'#this moment is the hammer in the coffin of issho's grief. he already blames himself bc it was HIS performance that resulted in#kiroku getting kicked out. a small death. and now he's told 'you killed me.' insane. Unless it was just a dream idk unclear#but again looking at how kiroku is characterized i don't think he meant to blame issho. it's very likely issho misinterpreted#just like when he misinterpreted what kiroku was trying to say when he started the arakawa school#and that brings us to the CURRENT SHIGUMA#who not only misses his mentor! but also his relationship with kisoba/issho!!!!! HE STILL CALLS HIM ANIKI IM SO SICK#I constantly think about the panel where he looks at issho with trepidation as issho says he will repent for the rest of his life.#that is when the disconnect started!!!! and it only became more extreme when he was taught shiguma's art but couldn't MASTER it!!!!#imagine how Issho felt abt shiguma wasting the opportunity he never got. and becomes even worse after shinta tries to carry shiguma's art#issho is like damn shiguma was too weak and now he brings me another weakling wtf is this!! he's out! expulsion! and ofc shiguma is mad.#but ofc WE all know what issho is TRULY mad abt is really just kiroku! and his own guilt his own grief wtfff#MY GOD.#WHICH BRINGS US TO AKANE#HER PARALLELS WITH ISSHO DRIVE ME CRAZYYYY#trying to avenge the loss of her father's rakugo!!!!!#AKane almost losing herself in her desire to copy her dad#AND!!! AUUGHGHGHGH i know folks were like HUH???? when akane was reflecting on how she could have gone on a dark path w/out shiguma#Bc didn’t she already love rakugo??? But see if we only focus on Loving the Art we become Issho.#think akane first zenza training arc and kibataraki. she loves the art but can't connect to the audience. now add crippling guilt.#Shinta Arakawa is dead and Akane accepted this. but she is still so angry. issho and akane are foils u see.
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so. chapter 5 huh.
#hunter the parenting#ramblings abound:#i think this was the first time in a long while i've actively. “geeked out”? over something?#don't really like that term but i *did* just sit there emitting various noises awestruckedly. and i don't tend to do that?#certainly been years since i reached a point where the only thoughts i could muster were ''this is so FUCKING COOL'' and such#ok anywase. thoughts. so:#the purple text “just cause you can dont mean you should” guy is jambles in the credits right. havent seen anyone talk about that yet#fuckin hell. brok character arc possibly incoming. who'da thunk it!#(i'da thunk it there are NO two-dimensional characters in this series (except when they're 2d-animated but i digress))#D's eyes flashing gold???? it might be non-diagetic but like. cmon. of course he's got something going on.#also what's going on with grimal and elise. what is going on with them. hey. hey what is going on. theyre still exceedingly suspicious. hey#matilda...#alright spoiler territory: is the tree arm white moth gift a thing#someone said the umbra looked wyrmy. is she... is she a black spiral dancer?#its been a couple months since i've done a wod loredive so i might be a tad rusty.#also. love how we can see her channeling rage before going glabro#and her crinos..... with that shadow over her face and her eyes glowing............... must admit i am Infatuated. badly. huh who said that#god the whole build up the whole reveal the whole fight the whole aftermath it's all just. so fucking good.#solar sorcery occam mural was great#“god” saying fatigue instead of fatigue was great#git???? lost a fucking arm????? is grimal ok???????????#seems like no one died but like. theres def gonna be a hopital scenes.#so wait was spit really just out of ritalin...?#god the fucking. canon ads. NO ONE is doing it like ogre poppenang#brok drank a molotov btw??? almost forgot about that#hang on. does marckus still have the oculus. marckulus. thats for sure gonna be plot relevant right#the fucking. ''cant wait for the audiolog where marckus annoys matilda with questions in their umbra trip'' in the comments section. amazin#amanda... shes getting a raise right. god i hope they don't push matilda's work on her. it *would* be funny but PLEASE she needs a BREAK#wait matilda is full-on garou and her surname is Wilde. probably a pseudonym which makes it even fucking funnier. she did it on purpose
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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You know what has always seemed funny to me is that Mello has some kind of relation with fire (the explosion and then the fire in his death), and at the same time, his real name is the same one of the arcangel known for having a flaming sword (even tho never stated in the bible but he's represented with one in almost everywhere for interesting reasons but no one gives a shit about that)
which i totally think is a stretch of my part because based on platinum end, ohba's vision of religion is almost the equivalent to the opinion of a 15 yo edgy incel that likes reddit too much
but still funny to me. it's also funny considering the name literally means "who is like god?" because, technically speaking, michael will never be like god, he's the protector and fighter. his name is almost the statement "no one will be like god" which I think is funny considering that the one who tried to be like god was cast out to hell, like u know, the good-looking angel that in some depictions is actually a very manipulative entity that convinces some angels to get into his side and fight with him and was defeated by this said arcangel
that's very funny to me
#i could go on and go about this but yeah no. i do like a lot the meaning of his name and what represents#the atheism in platinum is so bad it almost made me go catholic again. it's a reddit atheism (“god is like santa claus”)#i really really like all the meanings and how you can play with mello's real name if you try hard enough and aim for the stars#near's too. if you do the same. and i WILL. putting the catholic knowledge in action.#alsoo it's so funny to me that in paradise lost (not bible canon but still very VERY really known) Michael is a lil bitch.#he's the one who casts adam and eve out of eden and he's like “MAYBE if SOMEONE hadn't eaten the FRUIT” which I think is very mello coded#he's like sad for them like two seconds and then he's like “lmao this happened because u're stupid” and points and laugh#technically not that but shush. he is still like “dude. adam. it's fine u can make ur life out of here..stop crying lmao”#it's like dante in the divine comedy when he's sad for people at first and then in like the third circle he's like “hahaha stupid”#“you're suffering? GOOD. this is what you get for being GAY. i dont give a shit your suffering. do you know what's happening in Florence?”#satan in paradise lost to the other angels is like “aren't you tired of being nice? don't you wanna go apeshit?”#“the other day saw god drinking the last of the milk and putting the carton back in the fridge :/ idk man doesn't sound too heavenly to me"
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~ ~ ~
#I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind#moving out here and working in this hospital is what got me out of homelessness and at first it was wonderful#but now it feels like I’m going to end up getting pushed right back into that kind of shitty situation#work is fucking with me and it feels like there’s no way to fight back against being treated like garbage#if they fire me it’s wrongful termination and I can get a lawyer but that still takes forever#and it’s a small town so there’s very little jobs around anywhere and what is available isn’t the easiest shit to get into#I need to have a backup so I can jump ship if needed or just move to something else if I do get fired because I can’t afford to be out of#work for any amount of time at all#but with there being so little around it just feels almost pointless to try at all and like the end is inevitable#if I end up homeless again I will kill my self I am not about to do that shit ever again#if my dad’s social security/disability would come in already then there would be some breathing room to look things over and start again if#needed but that’s taken over a year or year and a half already with no change or anything coming in#so at this point who knows if or when he will get any money and be able to be self sufficient in any way#everything in our lives depends on me and I’m being crushed under all this pressure and I just don’t know what to do anymore#I feel so lost cause all the paths I saw for my life have all blown up and I’m left with nothing once again#trying to start over and rebuild is nearly impossible when you don’t have the tools or materials needed to do so#and there’s no one in my life I can rely on to help me or fall back on if I need it#everything is just me and if I make any mistakes I’m just fucked and free falling#how do you keep going when you have so few options and no ideas of what to do?#how do you find your way out of the smoke from all the bridges around you that burned?#personal
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theyre that couple that say goofy lovely dovey things like ‘marry me?’ before making important decisions as like their ‘i love you’ or whatever and then will fight to the nondeath over small inconsequential things eg sonic put shadows eyeliner in the wrong fucking cabinet!!
#shadow proposed first btw#they both almost died and lost their legs (shadow right sonic left)#and so when he woke up one of the first things he said to sonic was ‘you’re alive!’#and immediately after ‘marry me!’#hes gay like that#btw i am so very aroace and theyre like. dubiously romantically involved#theyre more like queerplatonic with some romance but also not like their relationship is romantic#theyre partners theyre rivals theyre married they hate each other they love each other more than anything in the world#they will travel the universe together until the end of time#theyve buried all of their friends together#they have fought on every planet they landed on#yes they kiss but its just to reassure that they love each other#they hold hands and hug they will also claw each other apart#they are so very gun song coded idk#i love them and they are partners until the end of time#rivals to lovers but make it nonexclusively romantic#i hate romance where its just romance give me complicated entanglement#i also love sonadow when theyre just romance dont take this the wrong way make them love each other HOWEVER#i dont understand writing romantic relationships like that!#ok ive talked too much in the tags#sonic#sth#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#immortal au tag#art tag
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known we were a system for about 7 years now, probably been a system for far longer, and just realised. we got an intrusive self-fakeclaiming thought today and laughed it away
#it does get better it does get easier eventually you will not fear being wrong or out of place#the thought felt like it just rolled away like a little creek washing over stones#it used to be a tsunami size wave that would throw us around and leave us feeling like we're not fitting in or even in the right place#and now we're just. solid and sturdy and the water's calmed to a tiny trickle#this is the first self-fakeclaiming thought we've had in i think months#and honestly probably only brought on by very new system members not being used to being alone in front#(it's rare for us. we're almost always cofronting. but sometimes it happens and it's so jarring)#rejecting the idea that we could possibly be faking this gives us this massive sense of wholeness like. this is who we are. and it's right#it feels right it feels like. we're real again. we're healing and able to learn. we're doing better. we feel whole like this#sharing this body with a million others will only ever bring us joy this is home this is love this is healing this is right#i love being plural#i love having a system#i love my headmates#we're so so close to hitting our real milestone of being functionally multiple#our challenge kinda. the goal we have to say Yes we feel we have functional multiplicity now#is to just. be able to connect all the sidesystems and have dormant people come back now and then and recover lost headmates#(TOBY WE *WILL* FIND YOU EVENTUALLY)#and it's starting! we've discovered people from BEFORE the syscovery we've brought back Blank and Ro multiple times#we talked to Bee once!!!! Bee literally hasn't fronted since fucking 2020!!! AND BEATRICE CAME BACK AND SHE'S TALL NOW??#and Siren came back!!!!!!! he was so so so fucking scared of falling out of the front rotation bc he thought he'd be lost forever but!!!!!#system wise i cannot believe how far we've come EVERYONE can feel the difference Ro and Blank get shocked by how much more cohesive we are#they were used to a constantly terrified proxy host and gatekeepers that loved to section stuff off and no communication#now it's like walking into a real place for them. they aren't used to headspace being this solid#when we started out WE DIDN'T HAVE ONE we had to manually build it and it took so long and so much focus#now it's as easy as closing our eyes#god i fucking love this im so happy right now
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS
#tragically had to skip the 'are you afraid of me' exchange i love at the start bc. this scene is Long#super dark times#josh templeton#zach taylor#sam edits#btw i'm firmly in the 'Josh didn't kill John' camp. bc to me THIS scene is the point that... makes the most sense as Josh's breaking point/#'villain turn' if that's what you'd want to call it. because this is really when Josh... sort of 'officially' loses Zach. from early on in#the movie it becomes clear how much Zach is like... an anchor for him—the way Josh is just fucking *chanting* his name in distress during#the Daryl accident. The way Josh begs Zach to believe him that it was an accident. The way Josh turns to Zach for answers/clarity/direction#Like even if we want to take a cynical approach and think of it as Josh just latching onto Zach in the Daryl situation because he was There#rather than that being an established thing w/ them... in the aftermath of that same incident Josh is still looking to/depending on him!#Josh self isolates at first... but after they talk & Zach tells him they shouldn't act weird Josh goes back to school. (yes#he lashes out there because He's Dealing With The Crushing Guilt but *all* of 'em are acting off then—Charlie specifically calls attention#to the idea they all probably are) Josh goes to the party just like Zach said they should and is *visibly confused* when Zach seems mad to#see him there. He goes to Zach's house to talk and you can SEE how caught off guard he is by what Zach says. Even though the script version#of this scene is VERY different from the final version I do think this one bit of description from it is... insightful: 'Josh seems sincere#almost vulnerable. But Zach is too focused to see it.' LIKE in this scene Zach is already convinced Josh has lost it! He's trying to act#more neutral about it (claiming they could just 'draw a line') but we saw his phone call with Charlie. Because of his own guilt-fueled#paranoia—something shown pretty clearly through the assorted dream sequences and like tht scene of him walking in the hall hearing people#gossip about Daryl—it seems like everything lines up too well! that '*of course* it's Josh and what if it's *been* Josh all along and well#then the role *I* played in the situation really isn't *my* fault because it was all *Josh* and...' etc. even if that's more subconscious#But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although#Zach says he isn't... i mean he fucking stumbles on the word 'afraid' (like... he hangs on the 'f' sound a moment too long to sound natural#its very subtle but like Noticeable). But Josh sees right through him. Zach doesn't trust him anymore. Zach thinks he's the bad guy. the#monster. Josh feeling like he lost the last person he had in his corner feels like the most realistic thing to... push him over the#edge. like that's a compelling tragedy to me—the idea that these two poorly coping with the Daryl situation in these separated ways where#they *aren't* talking/communicating ends up CREATING the feedback loop that makes everything get worse and worse.#But for that to be the case... it wouldn't make sense for Josh to have just randomly killed John before this scene. I think it's a more#interesting story if certain things really ARE just coincidences but it's that Zach's paranoia won't let him see that 🤷
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