#(not that anyone is pressuring me ofc; i mean just pressure from myself)

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[emerson-grimes-apologist]

Happy Deep Thoughts Thursday! I'm bored and thought this would be fun.

[noxtivagus]

gna play to the moon later today 🤍

[fashionteahouse]

Love your stuff!!

Please can I see an Embry x reader who just found out they have autoimmune diseases?? But he took her to the ER and that’s how he found out. Make it long if you can???

I stalk your page it’s embarrassing 🫣🫣😜

omg thank you! 💜 ofc you can and i’m honored haha ;) hope you enjoy :)

it is what it is - embry x reader

Waking up in the morning, exhaustion never left. Making sure to get extra of couple hours of sleep still made you a bit tired. When plans were falling through, getting dressed or going to the kitchen to get some water was sometimes a hassle. You noticed some shortness of breath. You were used to it all. You didn’t pay it too much mind.

Getting diagnosed was hard. You didn’t know what this would mean for the rest of your everyday life.

“It’s when the immune system attacks the body’s healthy cells and tissues instead of protecting it.”

You vividly remember the doctor’s voice saying this statement to you. Many doctors told you different things about how it was nothing or it could’ve been vitamin deficiency. You knew your body and you knew it wasn’t just “nothing.” Admittedly, you weren’t vocal with the newly found diagnosis. Trying to find the right time was your agenda.

You had your good days and your not so good days. Today, you tried your best to push through.

“It is what it is” you say to yourself, feeling strong enough to carry out the rest of your day. Not letting sickness win. You were determined to make it a mind over matter type of thing.

Embry picks you up and takes you to a bonfire, excited for you to finally hear the legends. You were excited to just be around him. Encasing his hands with yours, he guided you to the sand filled area and you saw the groups of people who decided to attend. Everyone was glad to see you and as were you.

Things were going smooth. Laughing and talking with everyone made you forget about what was going on with you. Going across the beach to get a drink left you breathless. Embry put a soft hand on your back, giving you a look of concern.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

You didn’t want him to worry. You’ve dealt with days like this before. “I’m okay. Just overdid myself that’s all.” you tell him.

As the bonfire progresses and you’re listening to the legends that the elders are telling, you feel a pain come on in your chest. You discreetly try to rub it but Embry kept a good eye on you, knowing something wasn’t right.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he whispers to you as a gruff voice who is speaking, is now background noise.

You nod.

The stories are over and you begin to stand, but dizziness doesn’t cease. Embry holds you upright to keep you from falling and hurting yourself. The pressure in your chest turn great. Your face twists with pain. You couldn’t take it. It was unbearable.

“I’m taking you to the hospital.” he says as he watched you crumble in pain before him.

Embry’s face was contorted with concern. Disbelief was swirling around him as the doctors read your medical chart and he found out that autoimmune diseases were evident.

Hands holding his head, he wished he had known sooner. Lying in the uncomfortable hospital bed, you were bummed about having to spend the night. The doctors wanted to monitor you but Embry’s emotions that showed, hurt you more than the pain that you felt.

Holding your hand carefully, not knowing if your joints are sore, he stares directly into your eyes.

“Why did you keep this from me?” he asked, he genuinely wanted to know why.

You muster up a shrug, you were scared to say anything to anyone. You were still trying to figure out how to go about life with what you’re dealing with.

“I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you but…”

“I’m supposed to take care of you. Promise me you won’t keep anything else away from me.” he says, not leaving your bedside.

“I promise.”

Being released, Embry really watched over you like a hawk. You explained to him the symptoms you have experienced and might experience. This made him on the edge of his seat.

“This is kind of why I wanted to take my time to tell you.” you tell him as he displays wordiness.

“Yeah but, who knows what would’ve happened if I wasn’t there.” he says and he has a point.

He asked a lot of questions. You happily answered them. You appreciated the genuine curiosity, he wasn’t shied away from you or your conditions. You appreciated the fact he was trying to make sure that you were okay. You even went as far as letting him know the lifestyle changes that you made. Avoiding certain foods that could cause flare ups and eating more healthier foods.

One day, you woke up feeling horrible. Your body felt heavy and you found it hard to move. A flare up was incoming. You phoned Embry with the last bit of energy that you could produce. He rushed over and he was by your side.

“I’m here.” he says to you as he comforts you. He spent the entire day with you. Getting up to fetch you something to eat, putting on the things that you liked to watch, made you forget about the sad reality of being stuck in bed. Everything was better when Embry was around. You felt weak and old at first but Embry constantly hammered in your brain that this is something you couldn’t help.

“I kind of miss the old me.” you say to him as the dusk started to set in. He looks down at you beside him, puzzled.

“The old you? What do you mean?”

“Without me being sick. I could do so much and now…I feel like I could do so little right now.” you confess to him.

“You’re always you. I love you for you.” he says seriously and you feel your heart warm up like warm weather. He reaches down, steals your lips with his, and keeps you close to him.

[thaltro]

Hey there! I've been following for a while bc I saw your absolutely gorgeous bad sans ref for Nightwatch and upon finding more content and context i am so excited for the comic- I love the characters and worldbuilding- I wanted to ask a few questions bc I've been loving this everytime I see new art I eat up the new meal :D no pressure to answer all of them ofc! Take your time if you need it-

Will you post the comics on tumblr or a different website?

Was there something that inspired you to make this comic/Kickstart the want to make it?

As someone who really struggles with motivation to do stuff does anything motivate you to draw and worldbuild? Or does it just come to you?

Not sure if anyone has asked this yet but do have a favorite character you made or are making for Nightwatch?

Like I said no need to answer all the questions, love your art and content! :)

Ooh a QnA ok

1) I’m definitely posting the comic to tumblr, but also on my toyhouse! I won’t just suddenly post it though, before that I’ll release pmv trailers which should be very soon.

2) for inspiration I’ve always loved horror- what started the idea of nightwatch was reading I have no mouth and I must scream, the idea of perpetual inescapable torture is fascinating, especially personalized hellscapes. I also really liked AM as a character and he heavily inspired Atrophy (I headcannon his voice to be AMs) (wait I guess it’s not a headcannon hm)

3) I love world building, im a history major and also studying sociology and psychology- I’m definitely inspired from human history and global cultures. Nightwatch’ s world building is a conglomerate of different social stratifications, but leaning heavily towards conservative religious cultures. For world building I really recommend learning history- it makes you passionate about the patterns of humanity and more aware of the tropes you can use.

But for characters it just comes to me naturally (literally) most characters are based off of my Alters haha. So a lot of them like dream, psych, atrophy, memory, killer, horror etc are all aspects of myself. As the host I hold our productivity, our ego, and our low empathy- that’s what psych is heavily based off of. Dream is based off two parts who hold a lot of of our childhood trauma and religious trauma, likewise Atrophy also is based off of alters who hold childhood trauma. When your a system you go typically through some crazy stuff, when I’m done nightwatch I plan in the future to write horror stories based off it but yeah. Aside from system experiences a-lot of the characters who will experience ableism like memory does, is based off my experience with how people treat my physical and mental disabilities.

Suffice to say, I’m an angry person and I hate the world around me. Nightwatch let’s me vent that hatred in a coherent artistic way. I have a big ego and like to think I’m an interesting person so I write stories based off that because I think it’s interesting. My hatred for pop psychology, ableism, child abuse, and religious abuse is pretty obvious in it I guess. If your struggling to write the easiest thing for me at least is to write about what you hate or are scared of the most- then develop a world around it.

4) my favourite character is Dream probably- I mean I never stop drawing him, Atrophy comes close too. Though there are alot of characters I enjoyed writing like Fresh, Dr. Fell, Dust, Epic, Error yk- I like writing comedic characters. But what I’m most proud of writing it’s probably just Psych, Dream, and Atrophy as I put an equal amount of effort into writing both.

Thanks for the questions it feeds my ego nom nomnomnom- kidding I just genuinely like not shutting up and it’s weird that people actually care to ask

[aquaquadrant]

I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?

Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!

Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.

Have a good week and take care :)

(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)

⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker

hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.

the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠

but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.

i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^

[mecachrome]

your oscar primer was absolutely brilliant, thank you so much for posting it!! well-researched, well-written, and a good balance of educational and hilarious. if you want to share, i’d be very interested in reading any of the parts you mentioned that you cut out, like george-admiring, oscar’s psyche, etc, but no pressure ofc 🫶

omg no thank you so much for your kind words, i appreciate it a lot!!! :D andddd let me see... honestly i was just going to add a few more quotes & anecdotes from other people about his personality but i ended up incorporating most of them into the primer (e.g. mark's), but in general i think it's really charming how Every Single Adult who has ever worked with oscar throughout the years is so deeply and immediately convinced of his maturity. i did work in most of this old ask but it has a few extra quotes in there from mclaren personnel! anyway more below the cut:

i guess really the thing to Me about oscar is like...... idk if this makes any sense but i personally love how he's naturally a really gracious and diplomatic person but is also deeeeeply self-assured and objective, which on one hand means he presents as quite humble when he doesn't make excuses for himself or get caught up in deceptively high results, but on the other also means he refuses to give anyone else credit for his own success; if you remember me briefly mentioning prematax in that post he talks about it in the f1fs pod where he basically goes i didn't win because of PREMA, in fact i've NEVER LOST TO A TEAMMATE, SO. like any racing driver that is def a big source of pride for him, and i think it speaks to the "silent killer" (per lando) side to him, the guy who mark says "falls asleep" when hearing stories of his (championless) career, who said that he supported mark out of national obligation growing up but—let us not forget—vettel was the one winning everything back then anyway, who says he put even more pressure on himself to win his final race in f2 despite having clinched the title 2 races prior because he felt the innate urge to prove that he wouldn't simply ease off the gas pedal and still had it in himself to subjugate the field one last time.

along these lines oomf and i have discussed before how he and alex rank similarly on the kind/nice dichotomy in a way that is slightly diametric to lando, wherein he is always willing to offer tidy bits of sympathy for someone else's struggles but doesn't ever really envision any of them as relevant to his own experiences, because getting caught up in that "external noise" would be a waste of time (even with logan in the f3 finale it was honestly kind of like "aw man that sucks, i'd hate for it to be me... ANYWAY"). like not to maybe exaggerate his interiority but i enjoy that he carries an amount of hidden tension that he obviously consciously decides to not take reactionary measures over—though that doesn't mean it isn't there, it's just very well regulated (unrelated but he does actually work with mental coach emma murray, who also works with scott mclaughlin and whom he says helped him center himself at the end of his eurocup season). but he's still very... unfiltered about when he's been disrespected in an unperturbed, straightforward manner, like saying otmar confronting him on the sim over being promoted to the seat was "bizarre and frankly upsetting," the face he made when he was told they'd overtaken alpine in the standings in 2023, telling the kids in that hp tuners interview that the renault engineers treated his first f1 test too nonchalantly, etc. 😭 like every interview back when he was a reserve driver was soooo "i'm gracious about being stuck in this role but also i've proven myself way too much to Not Hate This Compromise and i'll be pissed as hell if i don't get a seat next year"... i'll stop here but basically he is truly a master of balancing gritted-teeth conviction with his tactical charm and it is one of my fav things ever about him!!!

also another quote i love is this one from david sera about his driving style, because 1) i love the correlation between it and his personality/calmness, 2) i'm obsessed with the dynamic of his early rc days helping nurture a style of "finesse" in his driving throughout his junior career that may not have appeared naturally if he'd only begun racing in karting (and subsequently how he had to learn to not get "muscled around" after moving to europe), and 3) of course as a noted jb22 appreciator i love when people note similarities in his inputs to jb because it is delicious to ME:

Coming from a remote control car background where concentration, finesse and smooth inputs, these were the traits we saw in Oscar in the cadet category. [...] You would often see other drivers have an advantage in the early part of the race, driving more aggressively, but Oscar had a more calm approach.

c__c but back to the first part of the ask and our good friend russell jorge, i'm mostly obsessed with oscar's reactions to his performance at the rollercoaster that was spa 2021 and the fact that he's been so vocally appreciate of george "outperforming" the car he was in. the 2 instances of the word HERO on his twitter:

and then this quote in an interview he did in 2022:

"[Success] is definitely not just defined by just world championships, and if you can outperform the car that you're in—I think George Russell has been a very fine example of that in years previous, you know, constantly getting the most out of that Williams and of course Spa. (laughs) Bit controversial, but he got a podium at the end of the day! And even without that, he qualified second, he outqualified everyone except Max in a Williams, which, you know, is an unbelievable result."

also george being the only f1 driver (i think) to tweet him for his f2 title :saluting_face:

AND ALSO THEM SHARING THE ANECDOTE OF THEIR AWKWARD FIRST MEETING ON THE FAST & CURIOUS POD??? aka oscar was told in his april 2023 ep that they were going to interview george next and he was like oh ok you can ask him about our "slightly left-field introduction," and then they had george on who was like oh yeah i met oscar for the first time washing our hands together in the bathroom on our way to the ausgp in 2020 😭 what a way to meet.

[dreamonminecraft]

I mean, George’s been showing an attraction for men (fictional and real) for ages, not just Dream. Those thirst traps he used to watch.. his fascination (not just jokes) with dicks over the years. Also he went from being very awkward/careful about any gay mention (remember how upset he got over the ’bottom’ comment?) to fully embracing that now. He even got upset when the sidemen thought he would be bad at head like? For me, in the past two years, he (seemed to at least) fully accept himself. That obviously doesn’t mean you’re ready to be out about it. But going out to gay clubs with Larray, being in their ’twink’ tiktok thing they did and all other moments.. they bonded over *something* surely. So yeah, I was shocked about this whole thing, not gonna lie. It’s the first time ever we’ve heard about him in connection with women, in a non-platonic way. Like remember when he went on that girl trip with the Botez sisters in 2022? Just him and the girls and them talking about that ’Zaddy’ waitress or whatever it was 😂 And all the moments of him seeming uncomfortable about talking of girlfriends and boobs and yeah, I don’t know. He’s always been just gay in my eyes (based on the things he’s done/said and not stereotypes or looks just to be clear.) Or even about just dnf either. Like take Dream out of the equation and I would still think that. Now sexuality can be fluid of course. Maybe he realised he could feel something for women too? Maybe it was an exception to the rule? Or maybe, he experimented a bit and what do we know what he really felt about it? People try things sometimes, for many different reasons. Maybe he had a little crisis or something. Maybe he was heartbroken over Dream flirting with someone else in the same room like? Or maybe he is bi/pan ( not trying to deny the possibility, I’m bi myself so.) But yeah, just my opinion, not some actual truth here ofc ❤️

I think that's a really fair assessment. From what we knew of his private life (up until a few weeks ago) he was attracted to men (real and fictional) and never shared details of any prior real life experiences with anybody (women or otherwise - first kiss, past partners, etc)

He's fine with the perception that people have of him being gay (obviously it doesn't hurt his career. not saying he's queer baiting) but Dream was very 'im straight. I kiss girls. I date girls' before he knew he wasn't straight, and when he started to realize that he wasn't, he still acknowledged that he liked girls while recognizing his changing feelings. George is just very private in general.

There's a clip from one of the very first dsmp streams where Dream calls George gay "he's like that one closeted friend who doesn't say I love you because he doesn't want to out himself" (my least favorite Dream joke ever, thanks) and you know how he justifies it to the (rightfully) uncomfortable chat? "I wouldn't say that if I wasn't 100% sure George was straight."

George's response: "Straight outta Compton"

I mean this guy has been actively denying any sort of public labeling of his sexuality by anyone for almost four years. Maybe he's in the same position as Dream and he just doesn't want a label (doesn't know/doesn't like the pressure/whatever) or maybe the public perception is something that he doesn't want. Whatever he is, I think it's pretty clear he's some sort of queer.

[xaviers-home-for-wayward-pokemon]

Hi there :) Is there a reason this blog died? is it harder to get shinies in scarvio? or just busy irl? no worries ofc! im truly just curious! i miss you guys! i miss the gen 7 era lol :'3

Hi there, Nonny. There is not an easy answer to this question, and unfortunately it involves breaking my biggest rule with this blog and steering away from pure positivity. I'm happy to share the story if you want to read on, though.

TW for family member death, therapy trauma, and friendship ending.

I always had a tradition of doing a big giveaway around the December holidays and then taking some time off for the new years. Generally I'd try to get back into giveaways no later than February since that's Mewtwos "birthday" and it would be a yearly tradition to give away versions of this blogs mascot.

In December 2019, my mom passed away.

There is no good time to lose your mom, but there is most definitely a worst time. Five days before Christmas, one year after the death of your father, two weeks after the birth of her one and only grandchild (following years of fertility issues between myself and both of my siblings), one month after her retirement, and one month before a massive family vacation that was meant as a Christmas gift she never opened ... Well that's pretty much the worst time. She was in near perfect health but her death was the result of a car accident, and she did not leave any form of will. I don't know if it's possible to explain how much work it is to deal with probate, burial, and associated lawsuits on top of mourning the death of one's own mother. Needless to say, it's a lot.

My sister lived in another state at the time and was busy with her newborn, and my brothers disabilities prevented him from contributing much to the situation, meaning the only one who was able to handle things was me.

Which unfortunately meant pokemon giveaways had to be put off for longer, and as expected, it's pretty hard to write pep talks in that state of mind.

For obvious reasons, I started going to therapy. While there I expressed interest in wanting to do giveaways again, and my therapist encouraged it. I even purchased a hackable switch with the intention of finding a way to hack the newer gen mons, but figured I could use the old action replay for the old gens until I got that figured out. A small handful of you may recall this is when I started streaming; in part, it was too reach a wider audience, and in part to encourage more engagement. Unfortunately, engagement in the giveaways only decreased, and that's on top of the hacking taking twice as long with the need to mass transfer between the 3DS and Switch.

During this time I actually quit my job, because being executor of my mother's estate became a full time focus and I was fortunate enough to have a supportive partner to encourage me. Not to mention, well, we all know what happened in 2020 to make working more difficult for everyone.

Before long, I realized that doing giveaways had become a chore. No longer was it work that brought joy to myself and others, it felt like an obligatory burden. It was no longer fair to put so much pressure on myself over something that was meant to be fun, and with everything else I was dealing with, it was time to be fair to myself.

However, I did not originally intend to abandon this blog indefinitely, and thought at least I would keep up the daily pep talks.

Now I want to be clear: I am not anti therapy. In fact I encourage anyone who can to seek professional help whenever the situation calls for it. I will not go into any further details besides this: I actually have some trauma regarding therapy. It makes seeking out and opening up to therapists very difficult, and it's something I've struggled with since childhood. So when the therapist I had (who I felt was working well) left the practice and I was assigned a new one, it was not a good mix. Especially when the new therapist wanted to focus on things I felt were irrelevant and/or non-issues.

One of the unforseen "advantages" to having barriers between yourself and professional help is that you get pretty good at helping yourself. The reason why I enjoyed writing this blogs pep talks is because they were often words I used to encourage myself, and it brought me joy seeing them encourage others. At this point in my journey, I had to focus exclusively on helping myself, and that carried the consequence of no longer being able to help others. After all, if I do not care for myself, then eventually, there will be nobody to care for anybody.

Another factor came into play at this time. Many of you noticed this blog changed names from Vales Home to Xaviers Home. At first I said this was because the new mod team shifted focus away from the original "lore" of the blog and that a focus on our mascot as opposed to one member of the mod team made more sense (keep in mind, when it started, the blog was equal parts giveaways and fanfiction/RP). While this is true, it is only part of the truth. The fact of the matter is, Vale and I had a falling out. Vale was legitimately one of my dearest, closest friends who I felt I could turn to for anything, and the decision to end the friendship was one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make. While I do not regret the decision, it does make looking back on this blog a little bittersweet.

At the end of the day, there is not one reason why this blog died. My own personal turmoil, trauma, Nintendo's decisions, and a general shift in the community combined to make running this blog a burden too great for me to bear. While I have no intention to start it up again, I also cannot bring myself to delete the blog. The happy memories and positivity it generated during its time is worthy of preseveing, in my opinion.

I also do not want you to think my life has been pure turmoil over the past five years. On the contrary, I think I am in a better place now than I was in 2019. I went back to school and started a new career. I now work in a hospital helping people in real life instead of online. I overcame a lifelong phobia of driving and bought a car. I rediscovered a love for crafting, and have taken up new hobbies in driving to craft fairs, camping, and nature photography. I ended 2019 miserable working a dead-end sales job and mourning the death of my mother. I am ending 2024 with a thriving career, a joyous hobby, and a big group of supportive friends both old and new.

While I am not active on this blog, my main is still very much alive and you're welcome to follow me if you don't mind largely video game shit posting interspersed with occasional writing or photography. Also, even though the discord server associated with this blog is inactive, I am still on and using discord should you ever wish to chat.

I am beyond glad if this blog ever sparked joy for you. If you read all of this, thank you for staying by my side. If you didn't, that's okay too.

And remember: Xavier loves you. ♥️

-Typhon ( @typhonserpent )

[pommunist]

I don't wanna say this under my own name because I'm friends with too many Quackity fans, but god, everything about his actions just makes me think that what he cares about is just avoiding legal trouble and protecting his own public image

And maybe also about his friends to be fair

(I mean to his credit, I don't think he cares about money either)

He says he's doing all this for the viewers, but I guess that doesn't include the viewers who care about the French streamers or the French characters

And I don't see any hint of him genuinely caring about the workers. This is not how you treat someone you care about. He keeps implying that he can't talk to anyone because of "leaks" but what the fuck could be so bad about the "leaks" that it justifies this kind of disrespect? Why is this secrecy more important than the needs of the workers?

Nobody's asking him to reveal his biggest secrets to the workers, everyone is just asking for him to TALK to them at least, and hearing them out

He also says he can't talk because he doesn't want to make false promises, then just say that! Again, nobody asked him to promise them a job in the future, we just want him to be honest and respectful! Just tell them directly that you don't know yet and listen to their thoughts on the situation! Ask them how you can alleviate the inconvenience if it's within your means! Just talk to them like they're fellow adults who are capable of having a reasonable conversation! Because they are!

The union mentioned that some of the workers had basically been told by management that they should be grateful to be allowed to work for Quackity Studios and ngl, I wonder if this is not only the view of higher management but of Quackity himself too. That's the question I keep asking myself and not daring to say out loud: does he see the lower level workers as just fans who should be happy they were even allowed to participate at all?

- 🐧

First I never mind anonymous asks so no problem dont worry !

Second I tbh don’t want to assume what Q true intentions really are because heavy speculation isn’t productive and can lead to more stress in general. However I think that we can agree that he isn’t doing it all for the money, given that we’ve always known QSMP was never and problably even supposed to be a profitable thing (just the hosting and translation costs alone point to this).

That said, I do agree that everything that has been done up to this point and since Lea started to reveal things seems to be more damage control and trying to avoid legal issues than actually trying to be fair to the workers. This isn’t even speculation if you consider the sudden firing of Twitter admins and the silent towards all the other admins.

Obviously, when you’re a company or an individual you wanna avoid a lawsuit at all cost. It is a logical business move, morally I don’t agree with that mindset ofc, and I also feel like it’s a misunderstanding of the intentions of most of the admins.

I don’t know any of them personally but none of them, so far, have publicly said they wanted to take the legal route or even sue Qstudios. In fact, most if not all of them have expressed their love of the project and wished for it to continue with better working conditions. Some admins also said they didn’t care about getting paid, that volunteer work was fine if they had done it without the stress and pressure. Side note if it ever comes out that some admins want to take the legal route to make their rights be recognised and be compensated then my full support to them.

As if he is doing all this for preserving his image (i say IF) then what a terrible job he’s doing. I hope I’m making very clear that QSMP and Q’s image with french speakers fans (and non fans, and other French Ccs) is in literal ruins.

Also I feel like there was a genuine wish to add different cultures, I’m talking specifically about the French and BRs here, but an underestimating of the work it takes to actually merge people from different backgrounds and that it goes beyond just putting CCs from all over the world on minecraft with a translator. The fact that there was no FR, PT or KR speaking upper admin at all in the team baffles me to this day.

Worst thing is that we probably only know like a fraction of the overwork, miscommunication and intimidation that went on behind the scenes. Heart aches for all of those who went through it. All the love to them ♥️

[avengerscompound]

The Interview - Chapter 6

The Interview - A Captain America Fanfic

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Rating:  E

Warnings:  nothing really

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Melody Danes

Word Count:   1684

Summary:  Melody Danes gets the break of a lifetime when as a lowly intern, she’s assigned to write a profile piece on Captain America.  Steve Rogers is a hard man not to fall for and as she and Melody get closer and Melody’s career takes off, jealousy leads to sabotage, and the potential to bring her whole world crashing down.

Chapter 6

Steve Rogers: The Man Behind the Mask

By Melody Danes | Photographs by Peter Parker

Everyone knows Captain America.  He’s on the news regularly.  There are comic books and action figures based on the man.  Less is known about Steve Rogers.  The centurion who became the first-ever Super Soldier is often tight-lipped about his personal life.  He opened up to DB and what we found was not what we expected.

“You have a crush on Captain America!”

I’ve heard that accusation a lot since I started working on this profile piece.  The first day I went in to meet him for lunch I kept telling myself; be professional, be professional, be professional, in my head on repeat.  This is my first gig after all and well - it’s Captain freaking America.  I didn’t want to freak the man out and ruin any potential I had at getting another interview assigned to me in the future.

Over the week I spent following Steve Rogers around I realized that was easier said than done.

I should start at the beginning.  I had agreed to meet Steve at a diner near the Avengers Tower.  Since he is who he is, and this was my first interview with anyone, I wanted to make a good impression. So I borrowed a pantsuit from a friend.  It was not my best call, the shoes I wore were a size too big, and I fell just outside the diner we’d agreed to meet in.

Falling and being caught by Captain America when you’re on the way to meet him should be illegal.  It leads to too many awful things from completely mortifying embarrassment to imagining how one day you’ll tell your grandchildren the story of how you met their grandfather.

Steve is somehow even more handsome in real life than in pictures.  It’s almost like he’s been carved out of marble.  His skin is flawless and his muscles are hard like stone.  It’s his eyes that catch you though.  They are so blue and his lashes are so long and so dark that I’m fairly sure they could see them from the Alpha Flight Space Station.  They’re also kind.  Steve can be intimidating, but there is something about his eyes that makes you feel safe.

That first meeting I’d expected him to be closed off and unwilling to open up.  The Avengers haven’t exactly had the best run with the way the press reports on their work, and Steve in particular is known to keep to business when he speaks to the press.  What I found (apart from the textbook definition of a chivalrous meet-cute) was a man who wanted to see who he was, just as much as we wanted to find out.

We are all used to seeing Steve Rogers as Captain America, a role he considers important, but the role means he’s always on display and the way we interpret the message might not be the one he is trying to put out.

He wasn't always on display.  As he sits down to his steak he tells me about his childhood.  It's a bleak tale.  We all know the story, Steve Rogers was born to poor Irish Immigrants Steve had a list of ailments as tall as he was.  Asthma, scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, sinusitis, heart palpitations, nervous trouble, bone and joint deformity, color blindness, scoliosis, high blood pressure, diabetes, pernicious anemia, partial deafness, astigmatism, and easy fatigability.  It’s quite the list.  “I was a perpetual letdown for my father.  All he wanted was a good strong son who could follow in his footsteps, but what he got was a sick kid they didn’t expect would make it to adulthood,” Steve confesses.  The disappointment was added to when Steve’s younger brother died shortly after he was born.  It resulted in Steve’s father turning to alcohol and taking out that disappointment on the son who did survive.

It’s the kind of childhood that people usually describe to explain what sent them to the dark side.  Not so for Steve.  It made him particularly sensitive to vulnerable people.  In his own words, Steve Rogers doesn’t like bullies.

On a tour of Brooklyn Heights, the place he spent his youth, Steve is quick to point out all the places where he fought off bullies.  “You point to a spot and I probably started something I couldn’t finish there,” he tells me as we walk the streets.  Even with that huge list of ailments and a father who beat him, he still stood up to people bigger than him when he thought something wasn’t right.  It was no wonder that they chose him for Project Rebirth.

The sight of the Project Rebirth experiment that had turned into a nightclub now, and a strange tribute to all things Captain America.  Taking a look around it with Steve is a strange experience.  He seems genuinely happy that it had been turned into a place people go to enjoy themselves but it’s hard not to think about how he’d been experimented on and changed in that very room, making him the man he is today.

There are still things that linger from his childhood.  Over his steak, Steve tells me about his issues with food and why he hadn’t ordered the pancakes he would have preferred. “Steak is fine.  But is it what I wanted?  I’m not even sure.  I chose it because it looked like it was the best combination of protein and carbohydrates to get me through until dinner.  The serum has made it so I burn through calories so fast, so if I eat something like pancakes or pie, I end up having a crash an hour or so later.  And I can’t have that because it means I have to eat again.  And for a guy who grew up through the great depression with medical conditions that made it so that he had to eat pounds of raw meat that I’d just end up throwing up - well I can’t take constantly eating throughout the day.”

It's such a human reaction to childhood trauma.  We put our superheroes up on these pedestals and expect them to be more than us.  To be perfect both as public figures and behind closed doors.  It's a position no one can hope to achieve.  Not even actual gods. (Especially not actual gods).

Steve Rogers is just a man.  A good man, but still just a man.  He blushes when he flirts and he rolls his eyes when his friends tease him.  He can be quite sarcastic when he wants to be and he seems to want to be on a semi-regular basis.  He is sweet and he is open about what he believes in.  Sergeant James Barnes, Steve’s best friend growing up, followed him into battle not because he was Captain America but because he was Steve Rogers, “... and that little punk had a good heart.”

When asked what his biggest flaws are, he thinks about the question seriously.  “I expect a lot out of others.  I think I also automatically fall into a kind of disappointed father role.  And I can be reckless.”

That recklessness is regularly seen through his role as Captain America.  The fact he is still alive today is only because he intentionally crashed a plane in the Arctic Ocean and was put into suspended animation thanks to the ice.  He is regularly known to throw himself off buildings without a way to break his fall.

He’s a little more careful in his personal life, though it’s easy to see why.  The man has lost everyone once.  Since waking up there’s only ever been one rumored romantic partner.  Though he has gathered a rather large group of friends around him.  The Avengers are more than just teammates, they're a family that they created together. Each one wants to be better and help fix the world with the skills they each have.

So what is a better world according to Steve Rogers?  “I’ve always believed consenting adults should be able to love each other freely and without interference.  I have always believed that people should have a minimum standard of living that’s met even if they’re unable to work.  That means homes, food, electricity, running water, and medical care.  I have always believed that people should be free to worship whatever god they choose - or not - as long as that worship doesn’t interfere with others or harm them.”

He’s also pro-choice - a position well ahead of his time, though he’s seen what can happen when the procedure is outlawed.

That is only one of the ways the world has changed since he was a kid, not just politically but physically.  Steve used to stand at the docks in Brooklyn and watch the city line change.  It’s now barely recognizable to him, only really the Chrysler and Empire State buildings stand out as recognizable.  Where he grew up is different too, the art school where he started college doesn’t even exist anymore.  Back when he was a child he treated his myriad of medical conditions using things like heroin, cocaine, and belladonna, something that seems unbelievable today.

It’s a lot to have to adjust to, but he has adjusted, and he still works to change what needs work while appreciating the changes that have happened.  When I ask what he thinks we do today that will be seen as completely backward in another hundred years, his answer is circumcision.

He immediately blushes at his answer.

And that’s the Steve Rogers I got to know.  Working hard at fitting into a world that has moved forward as he works to make further changes.  Trying to be the good man he is.  Snarky.  Intelligent.  And willing to talk about circumcision with a stranger even when it makes him blush.

So my friends are wrong.  I don’t have a crush on Captain America.  My crush is firmly aimed at Steve Rogers.  The man is sweet-natured, decent, and completely unexpected.  I may always carry this crush with me.  He’s something special, and we’re all really lucky to have him.

// NEXT

[clarafyer]

Omnomnom dehydrated apple chips are some of my favorite safe foods

Actually yk what I'll ramble about my sensory shit

So like I've loved spicy, bold flavours like hot cheetos, curry, buffalo wings, etc, and I'll never not accept them as a safe food.

Sometimes though my sensory needs just- change back and forth, like from "I will vomit if I eat avocado toast today" to "avocado toast is the only thing I will accept as breakfast today" which is I guess where audhd comes in. There are some foods that bypass all my shifting needs, like strawberries, dehydrated apples, hot cheetos, potato chips, and pasta (ESPECIALLY the bowties omg I love the bowtie pasta)

Aside from taste needs, sometimes I really REALLY need a tight hug, not because I'm having a rough day but just because my body really wants to be under pressure for like 4 seconds and then it's good, aND THEN IT SWITCHES TO "If my parents even just barely touch my hair I will die of the sudden itch and sometimes even pain"

Also florescent lights just kill me most of the time which is why I am very happy that most of my teachers don't have every light turned on in their classrooms

I need socks to walk anywhere around my house but I will have straight up insomnia if I wear them to sleep

I haven't ever gone fully non-verbal but when I talk I either have to repeat myself 4 times because of how quiet I'm mumbling, stutter too much to the point where I just restart my sentence after pausing, repeat a word when I didn't mean to (for example during a chapter review of Lord of the flies I said "Piggy and Piggy" instead of "Jack and Piggy" and I got laughed at D:) ORRRRR I NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE QUIETER BECAUSE I'M RAMBLING TOOFASTANDLOUDDD

I have two special interests: my OC lore, and Genshin Impact. My childhood special interest was- also my old OC lore (7 year old me had the amazing and magical story, ever so creatively named "the enchanted forest") that went on for like 4-5 years where I would always want to talk about it and think about it to sleep, aaaaaand My Little Pony (I'VE REWATCHED MLP AND NINJAGO BOTH LIKE AT LEAST 8 TIMES but I wouln't call Ninjago a special interest bc it was more of an on and off obsession-)

I do also have hyperfixations ofc and they usually last up to 2 months, pretty sure that lines up with the statistical average idk

Also sometimes I just need to- punch something with full force. I never get to though and Ik it'd feel great (I did throw a pillow like 5 times in a call with my friend when I was hyper though so like... I've been able to get that excitement out-)

I'm sometimes really slow or just straight up zone out mid-conversation which is frustrating on both ends

I have a wide and advanced vocabulary for my age but [read the prior paragraph on talking], I usually don't get to use it to it's full potential because of that issue .-.

(I just realized this whole rant about my stuff is gonna be perfect for if I can ever actually get diagnosed by someone yayyy)

Mom told me that as a 1-3 year old I never really played with my toys but just lined them up either by size or color (yk those like- tower thingies with the rings of differing sizes and colors? I always ordered them correctly just out of the need for it to look right)

When I was 5 this girl in Kindergarten had a sling on but it was a fancy bedazzled sling so I really wanted to feel the gems but she wouldn't let me and I got sad :(

I've always loved swings and those like- spider web climbing equipment, still do just because I like rocking around and being able to stretch and hang and maneuver around the differently angled bars/ropes on the spider web thing (SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY CALLED)

I also have this like- neck shaking and hand flapping tic/stim, sometimes it's uncontrollable sometimes it's a controllable urge, and when it's a tic it sometimes hurts or is just straight up excessive

Okay my mind is going blank now so buhbye this was super long if anyone read all of that- kudos to you, Idk why you would subject yourself to reading it all ok BYEEE

[just-a-carrot]

hi carrot . just wnat you to know the finale made me genuinely sob so much i had to get the tissues out and everything

thank you so much for making this game, i remember playing it for the first time a year or two ago and even though it was like 3am i annoyed my brothers about how good it was despite them hating gore. this games impacted me so much in such little ways

genzou and iggy are my entire world btw god i love them . also cannot stop thinking about when genzou wakes up and he looks around he specifically looks at his legs (because arc 4....) oogh and and theyre so adorable..... plz never stop drawing them.....

ALSO confused about the ending a little bit

so when iggy made the wish it flung everybody back in . in time or to a separate timeline ?? where events happened but they handled them better. was the tidbit about remembering things in heart but not mind about the wonderland in general or specifically the time loops arcs? im curious if its like/ a whole separate thing now

plz keep making games like this :[ (no pressure ofc, its your life you do what you want/can in it!)

im probably gonna gk draw the chaeacters now ... thank you :] <3

(SPOILER WARNING FOR THE FINALE)

ahhhh this is incredibly sweet. thank you so much!! i'm really happy that you enjoyed the finale (and also the whole game in general!!!) LOL I DON'T PLAN TO STOP DRAWING THEM AT LEAST FOR NOW 🤣 they are pretty rooted in my brain, so i don't see myself not drawing them any more any time soon. though i have been kinda needing to rest up my drawing chops as i drew so much for the finale and epilogues that it really burnt me out art-wise

re: the ending, it's something i don't ever want to like explain super cut and dry. as i really want people to take away their own responses and interpretation of things. same as the whole rest of the game. it's why i don't like to give a lot of "word of god" type answers that ppl could then use to say "it's this way and that's that" or anything like that. i would much rather people continue to have their own theories and own interpretations of much of what happens in the game and with the chars

but i will say that that part is not really about flinging anyone back or to another timeline or anything like that. iggy destroyed his initial wish (along with all the other wishes). and his wish was what started the loops (and also what influenced every part of his life from that moment on). so when that wish was destroyed, it also destroyed everything that happened after it. which is why it took them back to before iggy had made his first wish

however, they still retain memories of all the past lives / loops in their subconsciouses, which is why they still randomly remember things from time to time and feel such a strong connection to each other

i hope that helps clear it up a bit lakdjfasd but as i said, it's really up to the player and how they also interpret things and come away with their own meanings! nothing in this game was ever really made to be completely set in stone

[devotion-that-corrupts]

10 Characters / 10 Fandoms / 10 Tags

pick 10 characters from 10 fandoms and tag 10 people. thank you for tagging me @ithinkthiswasabadidea :)

apparently you don't have to comment on them. HOWEVER, i love talking about my interests, and you've given me an excuse to do it, so let's go!

(not in any particular order, i love them all.)

constantin d'orsay (greedfall) baby boy. has done nothing wrong ever in his entire life. seeing him activates my knight instinct. i would fight lord and lady d'orsay for him. i would fight the high king guy for him. i would fight god for him. if he is wrong i would reshape reality to make him right. all of this to say, i love him a normal amount.

viego (league of legends / ruination / runeterra) if i had a nickel for every time a character i love was born a second son of a ruler and so was never intended to lead, yet became an heir after his brother's death, was supposed to die because of poison, had only one person he cared about deeply, in something between eternal love and obsession caused immense destruction for the sake of that person (who has never asked for any of this), had some sort of transformation during which his hair turned from fair/blond to platinum, his eye color changed, and there appeared some weird magic-related thing on his head symbolizing his becoming a villain (or, rather, making it clear that he was wrong all along), then i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. ok, now for a more normal explanation. bringing your kingdom & then entire realm to ruin for your wife? in grief, in hopeless attempt to revive her? i love this! i love it when love turns people evil.

camilla hect (the locked tomb) i don't have coherent thoughts about her. i simply adore her with my whole heart. here's to camilla hect, yet another of devotion's casualties!!!

gale dekarios aka gale of waterdeep (baldur's gate 3) i will kill mystra.

gabrielle de lioncourt (the vampire chronicles) there is much to analyze about her background and her relationships, esp with lestat, and i am most definitely unfit for this. let me just say that if i were a vampire, i would also ditch humanity and explore some jungle instead. and probably wear men's clothes.

millions knives (trigun) unhinged codependent siblings… <3

fang runin (the poppy war) my darling girl who fell in love with the war, and nobody told her it ended. i think she should get to burn the world down, as a treat.

breezepelt (warrior cats) i am including him because he is my og blorbo. 10-year old me really looked at the worst guy ever and said yeah that's the one. my love for writing about dysfunctional families and defying religion could probably be traced back to him.

constance blackwood (we have always lived in the castle) i NEED to teleport into the world of this book and ask constance her perspective. because she knew it, i mean, she knew what must have actually happened the whole time. i wonder what she felt after the accident, and if/how her view changed since then. i wonder what she thought of her parents, and of merricat, and of the life they came to lead. we get some of it from the dialogue and interactions ofc, but it doesn't stop me from contemplating all of this.

august (the wicker king) guard dog of a boy. 'I like following him. Following orders. Doing whatever he wants.' 'I’m always going to want to be at your heels, fighting for you. Hurting myself because you tell me to.' i hope belonging to someone else brings him peace.

anyways, i had to open the book to find these quotes, and now i want to reread it all over again. let me just tag some mutuals and then i'm gonna go read.

(no pressure!) (also you don't have to elaborate on them) @kuramirocket @grin-unsettling @boygirltwins @fairylightfairlybright @drizzit @msnormandy @darkvisionvamp @gardenbastard @cjflint @pups-2-dust & anyone else who wants to :)

[mikaela-granger]

The Long Wait (Season 3) Chapter 8

Stories We Tell Our Young

Fandom: Grimm

Pairing: Sean Renard/OFC

The Long Wait Masterlist

A/N: Sean heads off to Europe. Lorelei focuses on her studies, while Nick seeks to save a young boy from the Wesen Council.

By the time Lorelei reached 20 weeks, she had well and truly moved into Sean’s place. Lorelei was grateful she had been able to do so before the end of semester. And now with the move out of the way, Lorelei was able focus on her final assignment and exams. A visit to her OBGYN had shown that her blood pressure was stubbornly remaining high. Thankfully, it hadn’t risen, but Dr Brody did still want to see her fortnightly to ensure her little girl was continuing to grow as expected. Additionally, Lorelei’s baby belly was definitely becoming much more noticeable. Most of the only clothing options she had were leggings with a loose dress or an oversized shirt. She would definitely need go shopping for some maternity clothes soon. But for now, Lorelei was fine with what she had, including wearing Sean’s shirts. The first time he had seen her wearing his shirt, it had resulted in him whisking her off to the bedroom to show her just how much he liked it.

Eventually, exam season was upon her. Thankfully, Lorelei only had two exams in the first week and then she would be free. The Thursday before her exams, Sean had to go out of town for a short while. He said the less she knew, the better and that if anyone asked, he was attending a funeral for a distant family member. He had warned her that he may not be able to contact her much, and to disregard any emails or text messages from him. He would contact her indirectly through Rosalee. Sean had been anxious about leaving her alone, trying to convince her stay with Nick or one of her friends. However, Lorelei was insistent on staying in her own home. She reminded Sean that Melody had a key and came by daily to take Molly for her walks. He had eventually caved in, although Lorelei was sure she would be hearing from her friends and family even more regularly while he was gone. Before he left, he promised her that when he returned, he would be taking her out on a real date. One that involved dinner at a high-end restaurant and the Symphony.

The next day, Lorelei decided to give herself the day off from studying and headed down to hang out with Monroe and Rosalee at the spice shop. Rosalee and Monroe had greeted her warmly. “Lorelei, I thought you’d be studying at home.” Rosalee said, giving her a hug.

“I’ve been studying all week. I thought I’d give myself a break for the day. And the spice shop is one of my favourite places.” Lorelei replied, as Monroe came over to give her a hug as well.

“Woah.” He said as they pulled apart, him hand coming to rest on her growing belly. “You got a bump now. A little one, but there it is.”

Lorelei laughed. “Yeah, baby girl is making her appearance known to the world.” She said, giving her belly a little rub.”

“Is she kicking yet?” Rosalee asked.

“Not yet, but any day now. Although, I’ve read the only person who will feel it for a while is me.”

“Awww.” Monroe said. Rosalee and Lorelei smiled at his antics, with Rosalee giving him a pat on the shoulder.

Rosalee walked into the side room, to find Lorelei working on her laptop. “I thought you were taking a break from study.”

Lorelei looked at her. “I am. I’m working on a spreadsheet with my favourite baby names, including their history, meanings, popularity, pros and cons.”

Rosalee laughed as Monroe joined them. “You are such a nerd.” Rosalee told her.

“And damn proud of it.”

“So, what are some of the contenders?” Monroe asked Lorelei.

“I do have a top 12. I wanted to name her after Aunt Marie. But I am wondering if that would be a little weird considering, you know, her father ordered her great aunt to be killed.”

Monroe nodded. “That could be a little awkward.” He agreed.

“You could do a variation or something similar to Marie or incorporate it into her middle name.” Rosalee suggested.

“One step ahead of you. Some names I’ve found that are variations or similar are: Maria, Marielle, Mariella, and Marissa.”

“Those are nice.” Rosalee said. “What the other names are in your top 12?”

“Olivia, Charlotte, Amelia, Liliana, Isabella, Sophia, Davina, and obviously Marie.”

“Lot of names ending in A.” Monroe commented.

Lorelei laughed. “Yeah. I noticed that.” She shrugged. “Guess I have, like, a type, or something.”

Not long after that Nick and Hank arrived, asking questions as per usual. They were a little surprised to see Lorelei, also assuming she’d be at home studying.

“So, if one parent is wesen and the other isn’t, what would the child be?” Nick asked Rosalee.

“You mean, a wesen and a kehrseite?” Rosalee asked, crossing her arms as Monroe moved to turn the sign in the door to closed.

“Yeah.” Hank said.

“So, I guess it’s time for the whole birds and the bienen wesen talk.” Monroe said, turning to them, rubbing his hands together as he gave Rosalee a look. He glanced at Lorelei. “Listen closely.” He and Rosalee headed towards the counter. “Ok.” He cleared his throat. “If both parents are wesen. Then the child will be too.”

“Or if one parent is wesen and the other is kehrseite, then there’s a 50/50 chance the child will be wesen.” Rosalee said.

“Unless the kehrseite is a kehrseite-gentrager. Then you’re definitely getting a wesen.” Monroe continued.

“Let’s pretend that I just understood what you just said.” Hank said. “What if both parents are wesen but they’re different kinds?”

Rosalee and Monroe glanced at each other. “You mean like a Grundverschiedene situation like us?” Rosalee asked.

Hank and Nick exchanged a look. “Well, we don’t mean to pry.” Nick told them.

“Yeah, we do.” Hank said.

Monroe and Rosalee exchanged another look. “Well, then you’re looking at a vorherrscher. But, as long as it’s healthy.” He said, looking at Rosalee, who smiled up at him. Monroe looked back at them. “We don’t care.”

Nick and Hank left after that, apparently one of their victims was awake. Nick thanked Rosalee and Monroe as the two detectives left. Lorelei watched as Monroe and Rosalee smiled at each other again, and she couldn’t help but smile. Their love for each other was obvious to anyone who met them. A slight frown came across Lorelei’s face, as she began to wonder what would happen if a wesen and a Grimm had a child. Strangely, it was not something had considered.

“You ok Lorelei?” Rosalee asked her.

“Yeah. It’s just, what if a Grimm and a wesen, or part wesen had a child. What would you get?”

Another look was exchanged between Monroe and Rosalee. “Honestly. I don’t know.” Monroe told her. “I’ve never heard of a wesen having a child with a Grimm. If it has happened, I doubt the parents made it public knowledge. It would probably cause a stir among some circles of wesen.”

“Probably among Grimms as well.” Lorelei commented, still deep in thought.

“I think it could be the same as a vorherrscher. A hybrid with the more dominant gene presenting. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see which gene is more dominant.” Rosalee told her.

Lorelei nodded. “From what Aunt Marie told me, not everyone born to a Grimm will become a Grimm. My Uncle George wasn’t. And Sean is only half wesen.”

Monroe shrugged. “It’s like Rosalee said, we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Nick and Hank returned a couple of hours later. After interviewing their surviving witness, they had gone to see the boy responsible. And they were confused. Even Hank had seen the boy’s face change. Lorelei joined them, Rosalee and Monroe in the side room.

“You’re sure the parents aren’t wesen?” Monroe asked them.

“I’m not sure of anything.” Nick replied. “I just haven’t seen any indication that they are. And this is different from anything I’ve ever seen.”

Rosalee looked up from the book she was taking notes in. “You mean he didn’t woge?”

Nick shook his head. “This was more like, a battle within.”

“It’s classic devil worship as far as I’m concerned, but we’re hoping you have another explanation.” Hank added.

Lorelei saw Monroe and Rosalee give each other a wary look. “What?” She asked.

Monroe looked away for a moment, before sighing and turning back to look at them all. “I kinda thought…I mean, they’re myths, right?” He asked Rosalee as she came to stand beside him.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Rosalee asked Monroe.

“I think I am.” Monroe answered. “Grausen, right?”

“It’s what it sounds like.”

“Is that a Wesen?” Hank asked.

“Not really.” Monroe told him.

Rosalee sighed. “Every generation has heard stories about grausens. They go way back.”

“They used to think they were a wesen spirit that would invade a child.” Monroe explained.

“But never a wesen child.”

“Kehrseite kids only.”

“But the thinking has changed since medicine and science has advanced. Now some believe that its…a mutation.”

“So, which is it?” Nick asked.

“Nick, these are incredibly rare occurrences.” Monroe said, looking as if he didn’t believe it was a grausen in this situation. “I mean…”

“It doesn’t really matter, because they’ve always been dealt with the same way.” Rosalee said, a dark look crossing her face.

“How?”

Rosalee looked towards Monroe. She sighed again. “They would disappear. The Wesen Council is responsible for dealing with them…sometime in the, 1600s, the council communicated for the first time with Royals…and Grimms.” She said, looking to Nick and Lorelei. “They forged an alliance. For the safety of all of them.”

“Supposedly, grausens if left to grow to maturity become some of the world’s most notorious psychopaths, wreaking havoc, on like, whole continents sometimes.”

“Historically, wesen were to blame for what grausens have done. That’s why the council steps in.”

“Who is this council anyway?” Hank asked.

“They enforce wesen law.”

Hank looked surprised. “You guys have your own laws?”

“Oh baby.” Monroe said, looking toward Rosalee.

“If this is indeed a grausen, we have no choice but to inform the council.”

Lorelei felt her eyebrows raise. “Inform them means what? Daniel disappears?” Hank asked.

“Basically.” Monroe said. “Yeah, it’s a death sentence for the kid.”

“It’s a death sentence for us if we don’t.” Rosalee told him.

Dammit. This was not good. Lorelei could understand where Rosalee was coming from. But this kid was innocent. Although if what Monroe said was true, the older he got, the more dangerous he would become. He had already killed a priest and injured a seminary student. Who would be next?

“How do we even know he is grausen?” Nick asked.

“The law is clear, even if it’s a possibility, we have to inform the council.”

“That’s why we shouldn’t even be having this conversation.” Monroe told Rosalee.

“Now you tell us?” Nick said angrily.

“Well, look. If we knew you were gonna talk about grausen, we would have said don’t…talk about grausens.”

“We’re not worried about the council; we’re worried about the kid.” Hank told them.

Nick looked at him. “Well, now we get to worry about both.” Nick told him. He looked back at Monroe and Rosalee. “Thanks.” He said solemnly, before the detectives headed off again.

Lorelei watched them go, before looking back at Monroe and Rosalee. Monroe sighed and turned to face Rosalee. “Can’t we just let Nick run with this?” He asked her.

“If they found out that we didn’t report it, plus, we’re in agreement with a Grimm or Grimms behind their back.”

Monroe sighed again. “Then I guess it’s just a matter of who goes to whose funeral first.”

“Well, I’m not going to your funeral. I have to tell them.” Rosalee looked at Lorelei. “You get where I’m coming from right?”

Lorelei sighed. “I do. But would they really kill you guys for not reporting it? Or for working with us for that matter?”

Rosalee shrugged. “I don’t know. But I don’t want to risk it.”

Lorelei rubbed her back. Maybe she should sit down, it was really starting to hurt. “Surely there must be something we can do to help this kid. It’s not his fault. He shouldn’t have to die because of some…wesen spirit that’s possessing him.” She sighed, glancing around the shop. “Maybe one of these books has an answer. I don’t want you guys to get in trouble, and possibly be killed. But this kid doesn’t deserve to die either.”

Rosalee sighed, looking distressed as she too glanced around the shop. “I…I don’t know. I…I don’t know if anyone bothered to look for a solution that didn’t involve the grausen disappearing.”

“I understand that you have a…civic duty to report this. But, while we wait for the council to make a move, can’t I try?” Lorelei ran her hands over her growing belly and shrugged. “Maybe I am a little biased, because I am expecting a child of my own.”

Rosalee gave her a sad smile. “You’re not biased.” She sighed. “There is no harm in looking.”

“Thank you.”

The three of them did start looking through books, without much luck. Eventually it got dark. Lorelei had insisted that Monroe and Rosalee go home. Neither wanted to leave, but Lorelei promised she wouldn’t be far behind them, asking Rosalee if she could take some books home. She had agreed. Lorelei stayed for another hour or so, before heading home, a large number of books in her backpack that she could read in the comfort of her own home.

Lorelei arrived home, greeted by Molly and Daisy. After making up some dinner, she had settled on the couch, eating and reading. Nothing really jumped out. Lorelei sighed, shifting to find a more comfortable position. Maybe this was hopeless. There was little information about grausens and there certainly wasn’t anything about curing them. Lorelei guessed wesen weren’t overly concerned with trying to help kehrseite children. Lorelei felt like she was missing something. Maybe if she wasn’t pregnant, her brain would be able to connect the dots. Was she thinking too much like a Grimm? Should she be thinking like a public health student?

Lorelei woke to the sun blinding her. She was still on the couch, surrounded by books. “Well, this feels familiar.” Lorelei said to herself. How many times over the years had she fallen asleep after pulling all-nighters. Stretching, Lorelei groaned. God, everything hurt. Although the couch was pretty comfortable to lay down on, Lorelei had fallen asleep half sitting up. Lorelei rubbed her face before looking at her watch. It was almost nine. She had slept through her alarm.  Reaching over to grab her phone off the floor, Lorelei noticed a few messages, including from Nick letting her know they believed they had cured the boy. He was undergoing tests, but it was believed to have been a protozoa picked on a holiday in the Middle East. Yep, she should have been thinking like a public health student. Lorelei checked the other messages, a little disappointed there were not any from Sean. He had warned her he would be uncontactable.  Didn’t mean she had to like it though. She missed him. Hopefully he was safe, wherever he was.

Next Part

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[charmedreincarnation]

this is gonna sound so dumb but there’s one thing i know for sure, nothing is illogical when it comes to desires. But i’m in a sticky situation. Yes this is a 3D and a time crunch issue and i just know anyone and everyone who knows the law wants to yell at me through the screen😭 but here it goes!

So basically i’m supposed to be flying tomorrow to see my extended family and the only thing they care about asking me is what i’m doing for work (in my 4D i have my dream job and moving out for it v soon) I obviously won’t be getting into how terrible it’d be for me if i don’t have an answer for them, u get the gist💀

i visualise myself already working, having inner dialogues and other stuff. i know time shouldn’t matter because it’s not linear and i know 3D shouldn’t matter either. I’m just trying to save myself from all the bs that would follow. the embarrassment, shame, guilt, the list goes on but i’ll stop. (i’m gonna be there for 2 weeks there’s no way i can dodge this conversation😭)

truth be told i didn’t let myself be phased this entire time bc i assumed i have nothing to worry about (by now) but now i’m packed and everything just preparing myself to understand that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, I want to tap in the void and have my dream job. and i have been so close to it (tapping in) but the pressure is too much. I just have one night to do this. I know i can tap in other nights as well but i want it to be at my convenience, in my own bed, which would be tonight. I remember one of your anons had a really shit day and cried before tapping in and entered. HERE’S HOPING I MAKE THE CUT TOO.

I understand if you don’t want to reply to this and maybe i’d also not like my dirty laundry to be aired out but i have faith, in the law, myself and you. I just wanted to be seen i guess. I can’t talk about this with anyone. I know it doesn’t make it okay for me to vent here regardless i’m doing it. I’m sorry

The law has never failed me. I know it is this good and true. It’s just that this is my biggest manifestation and it’s urgent. I don’t care if it sounds desperate bc i think i have the means to look at it as finally putting my foot down and actually tapping the fuck in and not live like this anymore.

If there’s only one thing i can kindly ask you to do, it would be to please think about me and idk how to word it but just keep me in your thoughts and hope i make it. That’s all. I’m sorry for ranting and i’m sorry this was too much.

(please don’t answer this if you’re annoyed or anything. I tried fighting the urge to not send this, so so sorry😔)

Awe no worries ofc <3! You’re gonna do great and tap in asap! Super proud of you for making it this far Keep my updated 💗