#(i am a failed acting major lol) but those like

[collegeoflore]

thinking abt the voice acting on the “my sweet, there’s nothing i’d like more” line in act 1 when u offer to let him feed vs the voice acting on the “there’s nothing i’d like more” line when you ask to kiss him. being really normal about it

[aihoshiino]

Hey! I’ve been hearing a debate pretty recently about Kana’s character, especially after 151. Some are saying that Aka is weakening her character…ignoring her past development..reducing her to a love interest…etc, stuff along those lines, by making her dream be just being Aqua’s idol. What’s your take on this?

Saying this with the full awareness that i am Asking For It by phrasing it like this but. this honestly just feels like a bad faith read by people who already don't like aqukana/kana in particular LOL. Like... idk, I can get being frustrated by the sudden swing over to all the romcom stuff again when we have A Potential Serial Killer just kind of vibing in the background, but Kana -> Aqua is something that's been part of the series for over a hundred and thirty chapters. It was going to need resolving before the series ended regardless of whether they actually hook up or not and it's baffling to me that people are throwing this accusation at Kana's arc when like... sorry, but Ruby is right there, lol

Like, if we're going to talk about 'ignoring past development' and 'reducing her to a love interest' whose dreams revolve around a romance with Aqua... is that not just describing Ruby since 123? Everything to do with Sarina's trauma of abandonment and emotional abuse at Marina's hands and the way it continues to affect Ruby, Ruby being triggered and retraumatized by having to engage with material depicting Ai's abuse at Ayumi's hands, the way she mistreated and took Kana & Mem for granted while she was clout chasing and how that caused fan backlash against those two while they did their best to keep B-Komachi afloat for her - all that shit goes out the window at mach speed once she finds out Aqua is Gorou and she spends the majority of her screentime after that gushing over her oniichansensei and having her narrative recentered around her obsession with Gorou. Never mind how bizarrely she'd flanderized and dumbed down she is in relation to it all.

(Note in advance: shout out to this thread by KizzityKaito on Twitter that I stumbled on while I was chewing on this ask that helped me to articulate some of the stuff re: Kana that I was kind of struggling to put to words - I don't agree w/the whole thread but I think the Kana analysis here & 'reincarnation as child acting' is fascinating and really in line with what OnK seems to be going for.)

By contrast with Kana... this feels consistent to me! This feels like additive characterization building on top of and not contradicting what came before. I've seen people frothing and screaming about her talk vis-a-vis being an actress not being her 'dream' but like... that just kind of checked out to me?? Kana is an actress. If that's her 'dream', she's already achieved it, as she says. Everything else has been her fighting and clawing to hold onto it. That's what she means when she says she didn't have any dreams; for Kana, becoming a nationally recognize actress again isn't a dream because it's just a return to the status quo.

Not only that, but like... being an actress wasn't even necessarily Kana's dream in the first place! She herself outright says it - it was enforced onto her by her abusive mom so she could live vicariously through her.

That's not to say Kana hasn't found her own spark for acting and that she isn't deeply passionate about it in her own way. But again, this is something Kana already has. A 'dream' is something you want to achieve - it's something you, well, dream about. And if you read between the lines, Kana's dream has never really been about acting.

It's about love. It's about Kana feeling secure in her relationships with the people she loves.

I think a lot of people are taking Kana's words in 151 entirely at face value and just... totally failing to read the subtext because they've been ignoring her all this time and now her arc is actually coming to a climax they don't know what the conclusion is building off of lol. Kana's 'dream' right now is something pitifully simple - to have the boy she loves not even return her feelings necessarily, but just to say that in his eyes, she shines brighter than anyone else.

[scoobydoodean]

the way bronlies are so obsessed that they’ve just become sam in the way they don’t like/won’t allow dean to have other friends 😭

it’s crazy to me, especially for a question whose different answers are both true to an extent bc your definition of “knowing somebody” is totally subjective!

lol that said, i am curious, soo… who do you think knows dean best, sam or cas? somebody else? do you think it changes over the seasons?

One of my friends was just saying that about bronlies and Sam sjhbfhsdhjf. Truly tho they're more insufferable than Sam's ever been. Bronlies are every spoiled child antagonist in every children's book. The Veruca Salt's of fandom. Miserable little cry baby brats screaming throwing tantrums trying to hit everyone with their baby rattlers... over Supernatural (2005) POLLS.

Their indignantion at that poll is pretty hilarious, because Sam doesn't start out the series actually knowing who Dean is at all. He thinks he knows who Dean is, but he doesn't, and this is illustrated to us over a dozen times in season 1. I do think Sam grows to understand who Dean is better over time, but he still sucks at understanding Dean for the vast majority of the series, because in many ways, he doesn't actually care to stop and think and study who Dean is and ask himself whether he actually knows him. He prefers an image he's made up in his head of who Dean is instead—an image that comforts him or bolsters his own self-image in some way. Dean is smart when Sam wants him to be smart and stupid when Sam needs to feel smarter (1.10, 1.16, 4.12, 8.14). Dean is strong when Sam wants him to be strong and weak when Sam needs to feel like the strongest person around (4.10, 4.11, 4.14, 4.16, 4.20, 4.21). Dean isn't opening up enough (2.02, 2.03, 2.04), then Dean is too emotional and soft and needs to get over it (2.10, 2.11, 2.14, 4.14, 4.16). Dean is a protector and nurturer who is failing to nurture and/or protect Sam adequately (3.09, 4.04, 8.23), then Dean is smothering (5.07, 8.20).

Basically, because Sam spends so much time trying to force Dean to fit into the shape he wants Dean to fit into, instead of actually trying to understand who Dean is, he often (unknowingly in some cases) completely lacks insight into who Dean actually is, and I'd say while he gets better at recognizing this, and better at understanding who Dean really is over time, surrounding certain subjects (especially things like grief), this refusal to see the actual real Dean continues through the entire run of the show (ex: 13.04).

I guess the question is then... is Cas actually better at understanding Dean than Sam is? And for me? Honestly I think it's a wash. I don't actually think either of them is Mr Amazing Perfect Dean Understander to be quite honest with you. I mean—practically Dean and Cas's entire schtick is perpetual misunderstandings bolstered by their own insecurities? They understand the important parts like that they each have good intentions and are good hearted, but I don't think Cas ever really understood how their repeated cycle of conflict made Dean feel. I don't think he ever understood how deeply entwined Dean's well-being became with his own, to the point that Dean was Not Fucking Okay when Cas was dead. I think Cas had a leg up in getting genuine insights into Dean's feelings straight from Dean for a long time because of the childhood dynamics and previous events that have made using Sam as a confidant uncomfortable and/or unsafe for Dean (2.03, 2.11, 4.14, 4.21, 5.01, 5.02, 5.03). I think Cas also understands Dean’s feelings more than he lets on and often acts on his perceptions of Dean's feelings without communicating those perecptions to anyone (and sometimes he's right... but sometimes he's also very VERY wrong).

We get a sort of back and forth with Sam and Cas understanding or not understanding different aspects of Dean's feelings or behavior. Think about "Nihilism" for example, when Sam and Cas walk through the darkness of Dean's mind, and Cas is shocked by the amount of trauma in Dean's mind and Sam just says, "Well. Yeah." But then compare that with 10.03 "Soul Survivor" where Cas was able to explain to Sam why demon Dean didn't want to be cured no matter how much blood they gave him. Sam didn't understand, but Cas understood Dean's perspective immediately (and that entire episode was a scathing commentary on Sam's lack of insight into Dean tbqh).

All of that said, I think I did vote in that poll and I picked Cas, and I would do it again. :) In fact, I will vote against Sam in any moment of uncertainty in any poll I see going forward, because bronlies are pathetic cry baby brats victimizing themselves 24/7 over Tumblr polls and can get fucked.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

so I’ve seen some posting about oil fire going around and as one of the people sitting in the eye of that particular hurricane i have a couple thoughts. keep in mind that I obviously can’t speak for every single Poster etc etc, obviously this is just my view on things. in particular don’t quote Twitter at me because the only time I was ever active on there was back when “have a visible professional social media account” was considered important for the job hunt. I know nothing of Touhou Twitter or Touhou Reddit and I am content in my ignorance

Anyway there’s three major points of criticism I’ve seen, and one of them as basically “it’s just a nothingburger that came out of nowhere” and even ignoring the history of that in Touhou in general, I’m going to set it aside because I don’t think it needs a more specific rebuttal than the length of this post. so on to the two more substantial complaints I’ve seen:

“it’s just a sex ship”: look, I won’t deny that there’s been a lot of sexposting. i’ve probably posted more about cock in the last 48 hours than in the last five years combined. almost certainly more than i will in the next five too. but there’s a subtext to it that often gets missed (not just by critics but also by a lot of sexposters).

these are two characters who have had... a bit of a history with being sexualised by the fandom. i shouldn’t need to recite all the “slut sanae” memes, those who know know and honestly they were never funny, but they existed. tsukasa meanwhile was stuck with “sex fox” pretty much from the beginning due to some kuda-gitsune legends specifically involving their rapid reproduction.

obviously this is going to go more into the personal view and i reiterate that i’m not speaking for Everyone’s posts, but I’m asexual. the whole emphasis people put on sex as a cultural thing, not just in terms of Posting about it but also in terms of Not Posting about it is funny to me. people dance around it like they’re waltzing with the demon core but also are baffled when i say i’m just not into it.

the oil fire sexposting isn’t about “lol they’re fucking”. there was already plenty of that. the joke is that it’s not a big deal that they’re fucking - it’s not dramatic or cathartic or even erotic. they’re bad at it, they get distracted, they’re not really thinking things through; fail sex with her cringe wife. it’s sexual in the way that a Tom and Jerry sketch is violent - stepping back from the artifice around it to say “you know, whatever else this is, it’s pretty goofy”. to me at least, that’s more of a repudiation of horny character exaggeration than simply ignoring it is.

(there’s also a false equivalence to me in the general notion of “it’s just hornyposting”, between hornyposting by straight men and that of queer women and/or the gender blender, when the characters involved are both women - especially in light of the reasonably consistent depiction of one or both as transgender in oil fire posting. there’s better people than me and my none gender with leftist beef to effortpost on that side of things.)

“tsukasa is manipulating sanae” I’d add a single phrase here - she’s trying to. The big thing with a lot of how I look at Sanae and this is no exception is that while she can be naive, she’s not stupid. There’s a difference between being trusting and being easily deceived. She’s not a master manipulator, but she lives with Kanako, she knows a bit of how the game is played.

I think this kind of echoes the last bit of the last segment, in that how the characters are portrayed in the context matters a lot. Oil Fire Sanae is, at least within the spheres I see here, heavily coded as if not explicitly autistic. A lot of the content is being written by autistic people, myself included.

Autistic adults are, in my anecdotal experience, pretty conscious of being manipulative or manipulated, because we have to learn deliberately where that line is drawn and how to act around it.

To get into explicitly personal experiences, I often think of myself as being “manipulative” because I have to deliberately strategise a lot of social cues and how I present myself and information I know, and still haven’t really shook that perspective internally despite the intellectual knowledge of several therapists and psychiatrists that no, that’s just an autism thing, most people do all that stuff without thinking about it.

Now obviously simply Being Autistic is not an unassailable fortress against manipulation, nor does it prevent you from being actually manipulative in your own right, but it does tilt the pinball table a bit, again especially in terms of awareness. And that awareness helps control a response - again, even if you’re not always quite sure how to respond.

Sanae’s way of cutting that Gordian knot is what a friend of mine calls the Bishop Myriel Method: how can someone steal what is freely given? She has her lines, but the stuff Tsukasa is leaning on her to get - protection, shelter, and an in-group - are all things Sanae doesn’t see an issue with giving to her. Tsukasa for her part doesn’t really understand this, being more used to dealing with power-broker types where everything has a quid-pro-quo, and from a position of pretty notable inferiority (just look at how any of the stronger youkai talk to her in UDoALG) at that - so she looks at all the leverage that Sanae now has over her (leverage which Sanae doesn’t really understand she has), and doubles down on trying to be manipulative because she doesn’t understand that she doesn’t have to.

in conclusion obviously I’m not thinking about all this wall of text every time I post something, for the same reason that I’m not thinking about how my house’s foundations are designed every time I go up or down the stairs - the general idea is there in the background and actually needing to go check it out usually means that I won’t be doing whatever I was going up the stairs for in the first place. but these are The Thoughts, upon which the lower effort thoughts stand as they heckle each other. there are many like them but these are mine

[bomberqueen17]

car shopping part 1

ok i had capslock on when i started typing this and i startled myself, lol. i am. a bit tired and punchy. BUT. All hail my lovely middle-little sister, who volunteered to come take me to car dealerships last night.

Here are my extremely scientific notes on how that went, so that I can narrow down my car choices for definitely for sure:

1) Honda: we went to a Honda dealership, and my mom has a CR-V which I've driven and it's... fine, so I tried the HR-V, which is smaller. The sales guy immediately without asking was like "here you want this one" and had me test-drive a used 2020 model-- low mileage, nice car, but used. "Won't be here in a couple days tho, act fast," he said, and gave me his card. I'd told him this was the very first car of my search and I wasn't in a hurry. He didn't show me anything new, or tell me about anything new, but did say there were often quite long waits for new cars. Gotcha. Like, I'm not mad, but I'm also not going to pay $23,9 for a three-year old car when the current year's model is $24k. You know? I don't care how long the warranty is.

2) Subaru: we went because it was right there. Wandered around the parking lot. Crosstreks look... lower now?? somehow?? than mine? Much lower, don't know why. Specs said same ground clearance but. I'd have to look up what the specs were in 2014. Sales guy came out, asked if we wanted to see anything. M-L said I should try the Forester, so I was like sure, why not; one of the farm workers has a 2020 Outback I figured I'd ask his opinion on, and actually the part time veg helper guy has a recent Outback too, so there's no shortage of those around. So I test-drove a Forester. And like. I hadn't even got out of the parking lot and the guy was like, all casual, "so how's the visibility," and I really looked around and was like holy shit okay i can see through time so I really liked it. It was a higher-end package (had a huge sunroof, i actually really liked that, i'm a shallow bitch i guess) and kept trying to nanny me about leaving the lane on the winding back road but the guy reached over and pressed the button that disables that and it stopped yelling at me, which was great. Anyway. I did not expect that. M-L and I theorized about what kind of guy I'd be to be a Forester guy. "A middle-aged wealthy lesbian with a lot of large dogs," M-L said, and I was immediately depressed to realize that only one of those things is actually applicable. I have no wife and no large dogs. These are major failings of my life. But. I mean. We don't always end up the person we thought we'd be when we were nineteen.

3) Then we got to the Ford dealership, and a guy named Joey was like "ay what's up," and i listed the cars I was interested in and he was like "i can't get those or those but I got Broncos, let's go see one" and walked incredibly fast out into the parking lot without looking like he was hurrying, seriously it was eerie how fast he walked while looking like he was just ambling, and he led us to a "cactus gray" Bronco Sport, said "you wanna try this one? aight hang on" and went back into the building. I was like uh sure, we poked around the parking lot, and then he came back, handed me the key, was like "yah you two go for it, you know the roads around here? yah go see if you like it, I'll be here til eight." and off we went, slightly bemused. But yes, we were quite near M-L's house so she led us around a winding path. The Bronco's hood takes up rather a lot of the view out of the windshield. I raised my seat, which helped slightly. I could not find the right edge of the car and kept straying over into the shoulder. It was so boxy. The visibility out of the windows wasn't fantastic. But it had a lot of zoom and handled all right. Not terrible. I'm not a Ford Bronco guy I don't think, but I liked the Ford dealership folks, they were funny.

The sales manager came out and talked to me briefly and was like "well i mean how many cars are you looking for" and i was like "i have a spreadsheet" and he was like "a what now" and i got my phone out and showed him the spreadsheet Dude made and he was like "your guy is something else" and i was like "i mean, he sure is", and I did feel better about not being a wealthy middle-aged lesbian with large dogs if this is what I have instead but like. I mean. The road not taken etc.

"take notes," M-L said as we got home (after i bought her a sushi dinner bc there was a place right by the dealership and also i wanted sushi), and i was like "yah ok" but this is my notes. i'm sure i'll be able to make sense of them later.

[terezis]

how Did you like nona tho?

short answer: i liked it! i didn't love it. as of this exact moment, having read it twice, i think that nona the ninth should have been pruned mercilessly and put into a very long alecto. (breaking dawn is 756 pages! they could’ve done it!!!) it didn’t need to be its own book, and does not do enough to justify itself as one. 

that said: it was still pretty good!!! 

long answer: i’m gonna be spicy first and then talk about what i liked LOL... spoilers under the cut

most of my criticism here comes back to the fact that this was originally meant to be the first act of alecto the ninth. you can tell. i definitely feel like i have read the beginning of alecto. like, don't get me wrong, most of nona stands on its own as a story, and it's a fun read; but you could have cut a good third of this book and it wouldn't have changed anything. 

we spend a frankly OBSCENE amount of time on nona's daily life when we could have gotten the picture in forty pages... and for all that she's deeply invested in her home life, her time at school, and her friends, the book fails to make ME care, which is disappointing because i know tamsyn muir is capable of doing so.

i mean, in the first two books everyone was uniquely delightful and felt like they could be the main character of a different story. it was hilarious to watch gideon interact with silas and colum; i love the original lyctors. but why should i care about beautiful ruby, whom i cannot distinguish from the other one, what's his name, born in the morning? we suffer? hell, even the angel???

you could replace pash with any nameless rebel and the story wouldn't change overmuch; the fact that she's apparently wake's niece has no relevance, except that it makes her hate zombies more… but most people in this book do, so who cares. what’s the point.

likewise, details and subplots that, in previous books, would have become relevant to the larger story at some point, don't seem to matter as much in nona. is that because they're going to be addressed again in alecto, or because they actually don't matter? i can’t tell.

take for example: hot sauce’s burns. compare it to something like abigail's backstory; it's a minor detail, but her interest in lyctoral history ended up spooking cytherea, which got her murdered, kickstarting the main conflict of the first book.

am i being too nitpicky here? did it not feel like those burns were supposed to be more relevant than they were? especially after we learn that she thinks edenites are too soft, so she hangs out with a fringe group implied to be responsible for the zombie burnings? but neither thing ever comes up again. is it just flavor? 

also consider: the different factions of the blood of eden, namely the hopers, who we’re frequently TOLD are major obstacles to the characters’ immediate goals, but who we rarely see become a problem. we suffer says it’s hard to convince them of anything, but they never really refuse her in any meaningful way. what are the stakes? is this the same group who previously killed 18,000 cohort soldiers with a space nuke? where's the oomph??? 

i feel like all of the above is also exacerbated by the fact that the entire book is told from nona's pov, and nona just does not give a single shit about the larger conflicts happening around her. it's not her fault. if i were her, i don't know if i'd care either. but as a result she spends SO MUCH of the book away from the action, which sucks when the best parts of this book are when she actually gets to be involved. 

i loved when she snuck out to talk to varun; when she listened to cam's tapes; when she and hot sauce ran off to see the broadcast. those parts fucked!!! i liked when she got to throw a tantrum!!! it was spooky!!! let her loose!!! i guess she has been let loose now, but it would've been nice if it had happened sooner.

look, i know this is a lot of criticism for a book i keep saying i liked. i really did enjoy it. harrow the ninth also had to grow on me, and u know i love that shit now. i like when a book is a puzzle, and the locked tomb is one of those thousand piece motherfuckers. right now nona gets a 6.5/10 from me, but mayhaps that will change on another reread.

anyways here's my highlight reel:

i was thrilled when gideon woke up and made a joke about stealing palamedes' girl

it’s so fucked up that ianthe wore babs' body like a little suit (complimentary) and when that body hugged corona omg. recall the last time the sisters saw each other. so fucking juicy. i love her

i LOVED the nun. pre-res anastasia? when she did the thing with the gun??? delicious

the thing with anastasia's bones at the very end Intrigued Me Deeply, and i want to know more about her relationship with alecto

the part where pyrrha told nona about her terrible shirt made me cry, which is funny bc the shirt had a sex joke on it

THE PART WHEN AIGLAMENE TOOK GIDEON'S FACE IN HER HANDS AND FLINCHED BACKWARDS BECAUSE SHE RELEASED SHE WAS LOOKING AT A CORPSE, AND SAID THEY KILLED YOU, AND GIDEON JOKED ABOUT IT, AND AIGLAMENE TURNED TO HARROW FURIOUSLY FOR LETTING GIDEON DIE, OW MY HEART

did not expect gideon to do a kill on crux, liked it, liked how she reacted to it, still don't think it's really gideon as we know her though

like she was MEAN. she was so sassy!!! i know she is sassy in general, but she was like NICE sassy in the other books, why is she acting like the villain version of herself, the stuff she said about becoming john's cavalier was so fucking weird, i don't think it was a front??? but why would she want that??? she was so MEAN

i hope she and ianthe are actually friendship bracelet wearing buds though like imagine when harrow finds that out. hilarious

i REALLY liked the fucked up nun. like a LOT

[hillbilly---man]

What are three things that shaped who you are?

Any reoccurring dreams?

Three things that shaped who I am.. 🤔

snopes.com. When I was younger (like.. 12-16. Early 2000s) I was SUPER into fact checking and rumors and being a smug little shit so I spent a lot of time reading articles on snopes to find out what things I'd always heard about weren't true. And also to learn what some of the urban legends/rumors/whatever were because I always felt out of the loop. I spent time on the forums, but I never had an account to post anything. Those forums were my first exposure to a lot of different kinds of people and opinions that have made me who I am. I grew up in rural East Tennessee with a conservative white family so I had a lot of ideas that weren't great. I wouldn't say that the forums were some kind of leftist paradise, but I learned that gay people, Democrats, transgender people, non-christians, feminists, people from other countries etc weren't all that different from me fundamentally. I learned that some of the things that I had accepted as "just the way it is" were actually debated hotly, and that the arguments on the "other" side made some sense. I learned about parts of history that I was never taught, and parts that I was taught wrong. I don't think I'd have ever made it to Tumblr or met any of my friends if I hadn't had that desire to "well actually" grownups who spread bullshit about 9/11

Gorillaz. All my childhood, I was a big fan of country music. LeAnn Rimes was my favorite singer of all time, but I also loved the Dixie Chicks and Kenny Chesney and Shania Twain. All of those 90s Country hit makers. Again.... Rural Tennessee! When I was in 6th grade, I had a friend on the school bus who was also a big pokemon fan like I was. She was also a fan of this new cartoon band called Gorillaz. I'd heard their songs before and I thought it was cool, but it wasn't "my kind of music". Well, long story short: I was moving away and nervously waited til my last day to tell her, but she was out sick and I never got to say goodbye. I felt so bad about it that I got the Gorillaz album lol.. ANYWAY, I don't listen to much country music anymore. I became a huge fan of Gorillaz, branched out into other similar acts (Blur, then other Britpop bands, then similar genres/influences of my favorites, etc). Nothing against country music, but the music I like now is a lot cooler imo... Plus, following Gorillaz fans here from Twitter is how I joined Tumblr in the first place.

Getting shitty grades in college. I started at a community college with the intention of transferring to the University of Tennessee Knoxville to get a marketing degree, but I was really bad at it. I had to retake a bunch of classes, and changed my major a few times (the 2008 recession scared me off of getting that marketing degree). By the time I was ready to transfer, UTK wouldn't take my GPA so I picked a cheap state university 4+ hours away with lower standards. Getting away from my hometown was so important for becoming more independent. Plus most of my friends are from the university I ended up attending. (I was bad at it there too, so lucky me! I was in school so long that I became friends with people who were still in high school by the time my "original" graduation date rolled around)

As for recurring dreams: probably the most common is a dream that I'm back in school and I realize I haven't gone to class all semester and I'm going to fail. (Guess what one of my biggest issues in college was? 🤣)

[blazescompendium]

Shin Megami Tensei is 31 years old today.

image provided by Vesk Scans. Please follow her archiving work!

Yeah, Shin Megami Tensei for the Super Famicom is now 31 years old. It is surprising for me how a game that came out full 6 years before i even give my first breath on this Earth, would be so important for me and my life. But here we are.

Even after playing the entirety of the mainline franchise, and a lot of spin offs, this game still holds its position very well in my heart because it is such a unique game. First, i always loved mythology and religion, so much so that i pursued it as a career. It started when i was little, with the influence of my father who was a scholar (albeit amateur) of those fields. Religion always played a major role in my life, both for the good and the bad, and although i don't actually align with any religion at the moment, i was studying the bible in a religious school since a very early age.

So, when i found out about Shin Megami Tensei, it clicked really, really well with me. I know that it is just a game, and even if it tries a lot to be faithful, as a researcher and scholar of Mythology and Religion we got to say it not always gets it right. But it tries! And when it tries, it can achieve very good results, and that's why i love it so much.

And that was when i was a teen/young adult. Now i grew up a lot, and even started my career in those fields, and still regard this game very high.

The characters are great for me, because i love how this game can be incredibly inclusive. Your main character is not a destined hero, or magical being. It is just an average guy, going to the groceries when the world start to end. He lives with his mom, have its problematic friends, and lives an average life. He always acts like any other person would act, and even his looks are just average.

Now, the thing is that this game did not aged well, but its absolutely playable and very fun to play. The old SMT titles have this ''survival horror'' energy, where you have to take care of resources while advancing in the game. ''Should you use your complete party in this dungeon, since its dangerous, but risk to deplete your MAG stock?'' Stuff like that got me.

And this brings me to how much i hate Atlus as a capitalist company. They made this effort to show us they care about the anniversary of the franchise that kick-started their business, but did not do anything about it. Just shoved merch to the US audience, that is not available anywhere else. Us, from outside, just did not got anything from this ''anniversary''. And i thought the Persona 25th was bad enough lol. But i guess merch hoarders are happy?

And that was a big fucking lie

I honestly don't want anything out of the ordinary. If they could at least port the SNES titles to the Switch Online at the west, because its already available in Japan, i beleive we would be very grateful already. Playing and presenting this games for a new generation is a pain. And i believe Shin Megami Tensei deserves it as a series, not only for its uniqueness but also for everything this IP did to Atlus.

But hey, i guess we are getting something, right? We have a whole new Persona 5 spin off coming next week! I am so hyped to see the same characters, exactly as they were 7 years ago, in another story about teen rebellion or whatever.

Im sorry, SMT. We failed with you. But your legacy will never be gone. I beleive SMT message keeps relevant to this day, and even more so as the time passes by. The world is a very different place then it was in 199X, but still a very divided and extremist place. SMT was the only game of its time to tackle this issues.

Happy anniversary to Shin Megami Tense, as a great game as one of my favorite games of all time. I wish more people could play it at least once!

And yeah, to celebrate i think i will be beating SMT 2 tonight, after lectures!

[transingthoseformers]

Originally these were the tags for the prev post but i ended up hitting 30 tags so: Energon goodies and energon additives HCs (yes, I'm going to throw human terms in there just to spice things up. I will use the term sweets as a catch all phrase because i can)

Optimus has a major sweet tooth. Like, a major major sweet tooth. He used to buy them all the time before the war, but then they became rare as hell and he felt obligated to automatically turn them over to his colleagues. After all, there were more concerning things to worry about, just forget about that craving for lead flakes in the morning energon. Now? Fjfkkgufuf it's a frequent sight.

Megatron hadn't had very many treats like that in his life, and they can overwhelm his sense of taste very fast. Orion once took him to a fancy cafe, and Unattended Child In A Sundae Bar syndrome kicked in, which lead to it all coming back up half a groon later. This is part of the reason he ended up going nuts over the fish marbles, they're the Cybertronian equivalent of chewing on ice chips.

Ratchet only really likes rust sticks, and used to have a jar of them in his old clinic. Pharma would affectionately tease that "those are for the patients" as he proceeded to retop the jar for the fourth time this cycle. Legitimately he was the first guy to figure out about Starscream's Stream. Ratchet then proceeded to bitch and moan about that for ages.

Pharma, speaking of him, is the guy who prefers bitter treats. He gets the ones that everyone else would normally dislike, leaving him very smug with his six packets of yellow quartz and tube of gelled energon which is only a vorn old (he swears up and down that it's fine that stuff practically never expires, and I'm sad to say he's entirely right; the only thing that changes is taste)

Knockout is the Latte™️ mech. Breaky jokes all the time about if KO would like some energon with his additive. This is 100% husband hyperbole. He doesn't necessarily care for solid goodies, which works out well for them.

Breakdown, like Megatron and Soundwave, has had pretty much just average energon his whole functioning. However, this means that upon giving the option to sweets he inhales them with equal fervor. If Knockout wants his additive he's gotta act fast, which is mostly an inside joke he'll get it.

Soundwave is the guy who eats them in rainbow order, but he says he's saving them for for Laserbeak (which is a lie, LB is 100% swooping in and taking what she wants the little thief🥰)

I'm not entirely sure that Shockwave can ingest solids. Which means the science solution, blend it all up and drink it like a smoothie. People look at him exactly like he's a damn monster for this, but he's got a fair idea of complimentary tastes so it works.

Rung, Starscream, and Swindle are naturally our sources for this influx of sweets. Which, is yet another source of income lol. And the moment Ratchet figured out about this when he moderately interrogated Starscream. Swindle saw an opportunity for profit and cut some handwave deals with the autobots for candy lol.

Starscream used to frequently partake in all of them... until he started the Goodie stream. She had originally tried to ingest all the failed creations, which got old fast and totally ruined her taste for them. Now, the failed sweets go to a bargain bin side of the shop to get rid of all that damn beryllium.

Swindle strikes me as a savory guy. If he was human, he'd absolutely love school pizza but he's not so hot highgrade and oilcakes all the way. I am staring into this mech's big purple optics and i just know his servos are greasy.

The vehicons got a whole system. First come first serve, but this is entirely respected and fighting over energon goodies and additives is considered Extra petty. Often, mecha in relationships will vouch to share them together under the covers lol.

Rung only likes candy occasionally, but is 100% going to get you your exact favorite. He's ancient, he's seen so many cultures' delicacies and has most definitely tried dark energon at least once and lightly regrets it. By lightly regrets it i mean him up and saying "ok this ended up making my fuel tanks a little queasy but others seem to enjoy this so it just means it is not for me"

Arcee has that Single Damn thing she likes and once she found out Swindle and Starscream were selling homemade versions of this she mayyyyy have had a crackhead moment. She voted in favor with Ratchet's idea of the Swindle candy deal, alongside Optimus.

Bulkhead's the guy who snacks on crystals in front of the kids. Which definitely shocked the first time he found a ruby on the floor of a mine and chronch "did you just eat a fucking rock???"

Wheeljack seems like a spicy guy. Like, pour the Cybertronian equivalent of hot sauce into his energon, down it like a shot, and relish in the burn. He's also the dude who will grab extra stuff to give to his friends.

Jazz seems to me like a mocktail guy, fairly good at mixing up drinks that won't get you overcharged. Heavy on the additives and gels, light on the physical goodies. He has been told he should open a bar for this, which he shrugged off and said "maybe".

Elita One seems like a generalist who won't take anything unless offered, but will enjoy pretty much anything. She actually voted against the Swindle deal originally, but upon learning that this might actually mean they could get access to other supplies from the stars, said yes.

Prowl, my poor autistic son, absolutely loves goodies and additives but his systems cannot tolerate them at all like Megatron's. But, on the other servo, i am staring this mech in the visor and i can sense he would actually enjoy medigrade energon and exactly everyone looks at him like he's crazy for this.

The rescue bots are 100% down to fight each other dentae and servo for candy. It's hilarious, the Burns family has more pictures for their photobooks upon seeing this for the first time because it's exactly what you wouldn't expect.

Tarn is a little bit like Shockwave, in that he mixes them together rather often. Unlike Shockwave, however, he has absolutely no sense of taste beyond oooh sweet so he ends up creating these abominations that have no flavor beyond full system flashbang. Nobody knows how he tolerates this, or which came first the acute lack of intake sensors or the cacophonous combination of fuel.

The rest of the DJD works similar to the Rescue bots in distribution style, except far more brutal. Serious injuries have been had in the frenzied attempts to obtain sweets, which has lead to Tarn banning them from the Peaceful Tyranny (which he swears isn't because he wants them for himself no sirre it's for their own good honest donest😁)

Predaking, who will be born soon i swear, will take exactly everything you give him. He will help Starscream taste-test creations later on eventually! He's a big boi and it's ~interesting~ to have a newbuild on board, nevermind a predacon newbuild.

The fallen has exactly no clue what any of this is and will never have a clue. Though, the original thirteen did in fact try various minerals several times and never quite worked out the trial and error.

Arachnid is, you guessed it, pretty selective, but by god if you have her favorite you better be willing to forfeit it or forfeit your arm. Which is fair, as it's rather uncommon on earth and Starscream's least favorite to make.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hooloooo i see you rebagel a lot of stuff for mcyt... what is that? how do i watch it? it sounds so dramatic and full of lore! thankya!

OH WOW ok!!! alright. sit down because i am about to learn you a thing!!!! so MCYT stands for "minecraft youtube" and it actually encompasses a HUGE amount of youtubers/twitch streamers, minecraft smps, content, and storylines. A LOT of different creators fall under the MCYT umbrella, but the SMPs are probably what you're talking about, because those are FULL of lore. you don't have to watch one to understand another, although some might make references to other SMPs. think of it like... huge DND campaigns but in minecraft. they roleplay as fictionalized versions of themselves and do a lot of improv acting

the servers i'm into right now are the DSMP and QSMP!! the DSMP was a server owned by Dream (who is kind of a shit person which is part of the reason the server ended) but the storyline created by creators on the server like Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Technoblade, and a lot of others was AMAZING. they created this insane story about a small nation who went to war, there was a revolution, an election that resulted in a dictatorship, and so much more. oh my god it was so cool. someone named EvanMC made videos summarizing some major plot points (playlist here), but if you REALLY want to get into it, there's a channel called Blueberry TV that's making full recap videos, and the playlist (here) has like. over 300 videos so far. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM ARE NECESSARY TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!! you can skip ahead at a lot of points, or even just find a single creator's character you like and watch vods or videos from their point of view. i would highly recommend Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, BadBoyHalo, or Quackity because their roleplay was consistently just absolutely insane, but i'd also recommend POVs like Fundy, Captain Puffy, DropsByPonk, or Jack Manifold if you want to explore different viewpoints! I know Wilbur and Tommy have made edited down videos of many of their DSMP vods, so that might be a decent place to start if you're curious (although searching for those in the mess of their other videos might be a hassle lol), or you can skim the wiki if you'd like (here!!!) it officially ended i think late 2022-early 2023 (i can't remember) but the official canon ending to the overall story is really up in the air, so it's mostly left to fan interpretation now.

THE QSMP IS SO GOOD oh my god. it's a huge multilingual server that started around March and is still going!! it was started by Quackity, and the plot really started when a bunch of eggs appeared on the island and the members were paired up to take care of them, with one English speaking creator and one Spanish speaking creator to a pair. eventually five Brazilians were invited to the server, and later some French creators as well!! they're all trapped on this one island by an organization called the Federation, and no one knows exactly what's going on, but there are mysteries to solve and monsters to fight and lots of found family elements in the overall plot. if you want some general recaps, the official QSMP Info channel has a couple videos recapping stuff (link here) and there are channels like Angry Thomas that make bite sized videos (like 5-20 minutes) about some general plot points. Quackity ofc has his own vod channel where you can watch his streams and learn about his character's lore. you can also skim the wiki (link here) to familiarize yourself with some of the characters. if all else fails you can probably make a post asking for the plot and throw it in the qsmp tag here on tumblr and you'll get a decent handful of people in your notes giving you a sparknotes summary. we love talking about our weird little minecraft guys

The DSMP and QSMP are so good in their own ways, the DSMP for its insane improv roleplay and the QSMP for its crazy planned events and and the way it brings multiple communities and cultures together!!! you don't have to watch one to understand the other. i suggest you only get into one at a time because they are both crammed with backstory and lore. i'd recommend getting into QSMP first because it's still going, and once you feel more or less caught up, you can probably test the DSMP waters. they can both get quite heavy in their stories, so if you need a list of trigger warnings or anything feel free to ask and i can def provide :3 if you're intrigued by either of them but don't know exactly where to start, i'd suggest the Blueberry TV playlist for DSMP and the Angry Thomas videos or the Quackity VODs for QSMP. see if there are any creators you enjoy watching and go from there!!!! consuming the stories of these SMPs is a bit difficult because there's so much content, but no one is expected to watch every single video or stream by every creator. a lot of the story gets passed around through word of mouth through the fandoms, so don't feel bad if you feel like you miss anything!!! if you have questions, you can ask just about anyone in the fandoms and they'll probably have an answer!!!

if you're interested but need a little more convincing, feel free to shoot me another ask. i will gladly ramble about my favourite minecraft roleplay characters. it's like my entire life at this point i think it's a problem <3

[vals-cd]

Little texts.

after you died hinata has been texting you everyday. Telling you how his day went, how Natsu was doing, and so much more

Warnings: Major character death, angst, my first attempt at agnst, not proofread

8:35 pm. Was the time that Hinata Shoyo has found out that you had died. You had terminally ill for years now and it finally caught up to you. You died right next to him while holding his hand and telling him how you promise to watch over him and to never forget you.

And when you finally passed he did nothing for the next month and even then it took his teammates pushing to get him out of his home to come to practice. He didnt take care of himself anymore and you could tell, but could you blame him you where his everything. His world. His first love

and ever since hes sent you little messages talking in to you like you had never passed on, and the times he talked to you like you passed on he put everything into the message. He knew you were never going to see it but he didnt care, he wanted to feel like he still could talk you.

"hey baby i miss you so much. Today at practice noya started throwing volleyballs at tsukishima and he was pissed. I wish you were there to see it, it was so funny"

Sent 5:24 pm

"Honey why did you leave me. I dont know what to do without you i miss you so much and i dont understan why the couldn't save you"

Sent 2:43 am

He kept all the things you had left in his room and didnt move them. Your mom had given him his volleyball jacket back and your favorite stuffed animal and he slept with it everynight. Holding it like he would hold you in his sleep. He even gave it forehead kisses and acted like it was you.

Your mother often invited him for dinner he was part of the family he had known you for ten years and had been dating you for four of those ten years. And your parents love hom, they wish you had lives long enough for you to marry him one day.

Hinata had been to all your doctors appointments. He didnt want to think that you would have to leave him at some point. The days that it was especially bad he'd come and visit you at the hospital spending every moment with you because as much as he didnt want to think about it he knew you would have to end up leaving him. And you both knew thats why you would be together all the time. You'd come and watch his practices and games the days you weren't in the hospital and the days you were he would go to the hospital as quick as he could.

"Hey sweetheart, today was hard mr.asagiri made us do a super hard exam. Wish you could've helped me study because i definitely failed lol. Goodnight i love you"

Sent 10:57 pm

When he wasnt doing anything he would be texting you.

"Lunch was really good today"

Sent 12:45 pm

" natsu did my hair"

*hinata sent a photo*

Sent 5:23 pm

He cried himself to sleep most nights. Wishing you were next to him holding him

As much as he hated you were gone

And he couldn't do anything about it.

[papirouge]

Saw a post the other day that was basically like "Yeah, I wish more pro-life supporters spoke up for Palestine but it's higher-up people who have been pro Israel such as politicians and world leaders who are pro-choice" And I think that hits the nail on the head while I do actively call out how hypocritical the pro-life the community has been it is weird the see the pro-choice community act like it is ONLY those who are pro-life are Israel supporting when I could name 10 major celebrities/politicians of the top of my head who are pro-choice and have shown themselves to be zionists yet I don't see the pro-choice community call themselves out.

It still misses the point though: pro lifers are those shouting off the rooftops that they are the only one truly caring about the children, OF COURSE they're going to be held at a higher standards than pro choice celebrities or politicians. It's a matter of consistence. Not every celebrity or politician is pro life as far as I know.

We been knew politicians don't care about kids and women. But it's a problem when those posturing themselves as the true defenders of babies & mothers end up failing at their initial purpose. Pro choicers are absolutely right to call pro lifers out. I'm never been into partisan shit : if pro choicers make a valid point against pro lifers, I'm not gonna get unnecessary defensive about it. If they are right, they are right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I myself think a significant bunch of pro lifers are misogynists and delulu conservatives eager to control women and weaponize babies to guilt shame them. Otherwise, they don't care the slightest about life, women, or children. Once the baby comes out, those Conservatives don't care the slightest about babies anymore and will vote against policies helping mothers raising kids, and make children to grow in a secure & safe environment (healthcare, welfare, gun control, etc.). If you follow my blog for a while, you'd know I don't f with them and despise them lol I am pro life bc I love life & women and think we deserve more than kill our kin to hussle in this life

Being pro choicer AND pro Israel/Zionist is pretty consistent bc both ideology sustain a "the end justifies the mean" way of reasoning : killing a baby is ok if the mom thinks it will help her with life / killing palestinians civilians is ok if it allows to kill hamas soldier. Pro lifers being wishy washy before the well document images of Palestinians babies/kids and their mothers being brutalized for weeks now are the real hypocrites.

[butwhatifidothis]

hey so, having just spent the last hour and a half pausing multiple times while reading this analysis + rewrite to savor it like a hearty fucking meal, i'd now like to give my compliments to the chef.

firstly: the analysis. i admittedly have a lot of difficulty seeing the forest for the trees sometimes bc i get so wrapped up in the details that i don’t know how to wrap it all back around, so getting to see it all laid out into a cohesive package was immensely satisfying, thank.

secondly: i've always held the opinion that three houses gave claude the short end of the stick but this rewrite makes me feel nothing less than robbed at what we might have had. and to work within the limited chapters and plot elements the game gives us, my god! (i'll be honest, i'm deeply curious as to what you would have done given free reign of the entire script.) there's so many points i wish had been elaborated/shown off more in-game that you directly addressed here that i don’t even know where to begin, so just imagine me sitting here mentally shouting "yes…… YES" because that's more or less what happened. i think i straight up hollered at the merceus reveal (god bless you, marianne)

god just… if i had the ability to do it justice, i'd write a fic retelling the entirety of WC + VW with this rewrite as the basis. thank you.

!!! Thank you so much!!

I'm glad that it was easy to read, given the length of it lmao - I tried to keep things as organized as I could while writing it. Glad it worked out lol!

And that's basically my feelings regarding Claude as a whole lmao; there's clearly a lot to work with with his character, since it has a solid enough foundation to build off of with his personality, actions, ideals, morals, and all that good stuff. The game just, uh, barely used any of it for some reason. I mainly wanted to show that even if VW stayed a copy + paste of SS regarding its general story, that didn't mean that it had to shaft Claude from having a story catered to his character- and I’m happy to see its reception be pretty good, all things considered! :)

If I were given more free reign over the game, I’d give any sort of possibility for the three countries to keep their independence. The game likes to act like unification is the only way for Fodlan to find peace, while forgetting that TWS sowed the seeds of discord while Fodlan was unified, and then later again once Fodlan was made up of Adrestia, Faerghus, and Leicester. They’re, like, either the direct root cause or an otherwise major factor of anything this bad happening in Fodlan - there’s nearly a 300 year gap of nothing of note happening between the countries, between the Crescent Moon War and the events that happen in the game, and those events all only happen because of TWS. So I’d like to better represent that possibility for peace either way: meet certain conditions and the countries keep their independence, fail them and there’s no other choice but unification. That if nothing else would be the biggest foundational change I’d give 3H - though not just for VW, but for AM and SS too since unification literally isn’t the goal for those routes lmao. Feel it would’ve hit harder if CF was the only route where unification was the only endgame option, given it’s a main motive for its lord unlike the other three routes lol

And 😭😭😭 thank you again for the kind words!! 💞💞💞

[jade-qilin]

Hello dear! Hopefully your doing ok right now. I was wondering If I could get headcanons for yandere kazunari miyoshi with a crush on Mc? Thank you very much for all of your hard work ｡ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

yandere!kazunari miyoshi w a crush | A3!

notes: hi anon! so sorry for the late reply 😭 i did not forget i am just an idiot lol. i’m also going to assume by MC you mean the director? i’m not entirely sure so i’ll write two sets of headcanons just for fun lmao

content warning: the author of this blog does not condone the actions shown below. if you encounter a situation similar to this, please confide in your local law enforcement or a trusted adult. this story is not meant to be taken as a romantic story, but a horror one. it is for entertainment purposes anyway, and the actions should never be re-enacted in IRL situations. MC has gender-neutral/no pronouns

if you’re a classmate:

Kazunari is a social butterfly, but you must have been quite something to catch his eye in such a way

at first, the way he treats you is barely different from how he treats others. he’s testing the waters of course, seeing how you’ll react to his advances and wondering if you’ll be like the others

he’s quite delighted yet also very conflicted when he finds out that you’re different. he’s never felt this way about anyone before, after all

expect you to be his muse in almost anything he does from then on. the new painting for his upcoming exhibit? it’s a drawing of you, though quite obscure. when he has to take inspiration from nature for an assignment? he’s choosing your favourite animal or flower

Kazunari invites you to everything his social circle is doing. karaoke, drinks in the evenings, holidays with Mankai. he really would be elated if you joined

if you decline? no worries! Kazunari has a large social circle as well as an appearance as a party guy to keep up. he’s worked hard to maintain his image; he’s not about to ruin it now

as time goes on however, he starts cracking

it begins when you don’t go to see his plays, whether it’s because you’re busy, because you’re broke, or because you just don’t like plays.

if he sees you going out with your own social circle, he does everything he can to squeeze into it

your majors are different? no problem! Kazu has tons of connections, on top of his knowledge from Mankai plays

it’s really hard for those not close to him to notice the changes tbh. he’s become quite the actor after all

as for his cast members, maybe an intervention is needed…

he’s the type to send lots of cheesy pickup lines and stickers via Instablam

he’ll probably use anonymous accounts to harass you if you block him. it’s best to just mute the chat with him and never answer or read them; then at least you can use the excuse that you’re too busy to check your social media

if you’re the director:

to Kazunari, the director basically saved his soul. joining Mankai was the best decision he ever made, because you’re there everyday

and now he gets to live with you? oh boy…

at first, he shows his obsession with you through small acts: making breakfast specifically for you, running up to you during practice and asking how he did, accompanying you with your errands

he’s still quite conflicted with his feelings though. you’re still the first person to see the “real him”, and one of the first to fully accept him

as such, his obsession is hardly noticeable. he’s like a duckling that imprinted onto you; it’s kinda cute, but nothing out of the ordinary

(especially when all of the other dorm residents look up to their dear director so lovingly, either because of their own crushes or out of admiration)

as time goes on though, Kazunari can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy and irritation whenever he sees you around the other troupe members

it’s increasingly obvious during the times where the Summer Troupe is NOT the ones performing, or when he wasn’t chosen for this round’s mixed troupe play

he’s practically begging Tsuzuru to add him to the cast. it fails most of the time

overall, he’s not a violent person. he doesn’t have the body strength to do anything particularly cruel, nor does he really have the courage

y’all still better sleep with one eye open though, because this man does have connections and he’s not afraid to use them

he knows his way around social media too, and can absolutely ruin the reputation of those he deems as his rivals

the first person to notice a change (of any kind) would either be Yuki or Misumi, then maybe Muku (since they’re roomies)

Yuki is very observant, and he’d notice that Kazunari had gotten more and more distracted

meanwhile Misumi is very in-tune to just general changes all around. he wouldn’t quite understand what exactly is going on, but he knows something’s up with his best buddy

[carrion-carry-on]

Whumptober No. 20

It’s been a long day

I am tired as all hell lol which is why I decided to write this one like I did, when I did (at 0200 hours, dying of lack of rest due to my abhorrent sleep “schedule”). This is somewhat related to the previous post, concerning training/assessment time for the squad. After they’ve finished up, everyone is exhausted and not too willing to talk about anything.

AO3 Link

The moment members of Fort Finium arrive “home,” they shuffle into the common room and drop to their preferred places. Each bears evidence of the hours of abuse doled out by “their betters” in the form of assessments. Each is used to such treatment. That does not make it easier.

Laith, for her part, feels as though her skull is about to explode. The constant shape changes she’s had to perform, trying (and often failing) to hold an unnatural in between form, it’s worn her down. And the extra studies hadn’t helped. Being their leader, she needed to know strategy, policy, discipline and conduct, and so much more. It is all utterly exhausting. She falls down to sprawl across the remaining couch and determines to stay there until the room stops moving.

Colm felt he had it the easiest for today. Given the fact that his arm had been broken in the second or third test, he’d been dismissed early. He did his best to ignore the part where he’d had to subject himself to surgery in order to properly fix the arm. It doesn’t help to grip about things like that when he’d recover so quickly; faster than his friends with exception of Lou. Colm decidedly leaned back against a bookshelf he knew would not move and closed his singular eye.

Lou didn’t say or do much of anything. She dragged herself (rather dramatically) through the entryway and remained on the floor. Her body was working to repair itself and she lacked the functionality of her legs. They’d given her a taste of torture, always demanding she recover faster. But that’s just it - she doesn’t mind being in pieces. But they minded. It was fine that she didn’t want to get up. Nobody bothers her here.

Charter seems to be none the worse for wear. To a stranger, they might spot his resting smile and think he’d had a pleasant afternoon. Those that knew him had the sense that it was a tired expression; Charter doesn’t smile as often as outsiders believe. A look like that meant he no longer had the energy to care. Simply smiling is easiest. And that is how he completed tasks - smiling. He sat, or rather sank, into a one person sofa, head to his chest, eyes shut tight.

Talos says nothing as it walks past them all and sits down in a corner, facing the walls. Their own tests usually overloaded their processors and overwhelmed sensitive tools. Even now small cracks of electricity jumped from circuits to PlastOre “skin” to the surrounding air. They didn’t like stimulation of any kind at points like this; everyone does their best not to disturb its peace.

Basma has never before had to undergo such rigorous trials. Another unexpected quirk to being stationed at Fort Finium. She was starting to think of the unexpected as her only expectation. Maybe then she won’t be surprised anymore. It hardly mattered, as he own tests had apparently ended early, too. She could not quite recall all of the details, but there had been a strong presence helping soothe her breathing and she’d recovered in the medical tent. Her place was sitting, legs stretched out and crossed at the knee, helmeted head in her hands.

None of them spoke for a time. No one needed to. In that small, quiet moment, they were together in the same thoughts and feelings. They despised the treatment given to them. So carelessly were they run ragged - knowing their superiors had ordered it increased the squad’s resentment. But none would say it, much less act on it. They’re all here for the long haul. And, given they’re left relatively alone for a majority of the time, ignored by the armed forces at large, perhaps this was a low price to pay.

[cmasociety]

Conquering Imposter Syndrome: Elevating Self-Esteem and Confidence to New Heights

Dear reader, have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're doubting yourself? Perhaps you're using harsh labels like "fraud" or "phony," worrying about your competence or qualifications. Don't worry; unfortunately, this is quite common and is known as 'Imposter Syndrome.' Approximately 1 out of 3 people suffer from it, and 70% of individuals will experience it in their lifetime. It commonly occurs when entering new situations, such as a new school, program, or job, where the pressure to succeed, combined with a lack of experience, leads to feelings of inadequacy.

Imposter Syndrome is not limited to new situations; it can also affect individuals who experience low self-efficacy, perfectionism, and neuroticism. Additionally, it may overlap with social anxiety.

If you find yourself grappling with Imposter Syndrome, there are helpful resources available. The Student Wellness Centre offers counseling services, providing support to diminish symptoms and identify the root cause. It's possible that Imposter Syndrome is linked to an underlying concern, such as anxiety or depression. Consider reaching out to professionals, including counselors or psychiatrists, to help navigate through these feelings and conquer any underlying issues. 

Visit the Student Wellness Centre counseling page to explore how you can receive the support you need. Check out additional support provided by the Student Wellness Centre:

ACT on Anxiety 

DBT: Interpersonal Effectiveness 

Managing Your Worry and Anxiety 

Mend Your Mood

Stress-Less Drop In

“Navigating the leap from Science to Humanities” - Jacqueline 

 I experienced major imposter syndrome in my first year of university when I began as a life science student. I felt like everyone was much more qualified, had everything together, and was overall smarter and more capable than I was. I struggled with these feelings for months, especially around midterm and exam seasons when I realized my passion for science wasn't as strong as I had thought (I was also at risk of failing two courses, lol!). Long story short, I was able to change my life course through a lot of introspection, seeking support from the student wellness center, and visiting the academic office. My first year was tough, and I faced numerous mental challenges with my self confidence and in the uncertainty of switching majors. Looking back, I would do it all over again if it meant being where I am today. I encourage you, readers, to have compassion for yourselves and listen to what that inner voice is telling you, remember that you are not alone in your experience! 

“Starting a New Job” - Anastasia

For me, I had major imposter syndrome when I was offered a Teaching Assistant position at Mac. While I jumped for joy at the offer, as soon as that happiness wore off, I felt like I was going to puke from the anxiety! I’d never taught anything before, nor did I think I knew the course well enough to help 25 students learn about the program I am so passionate about. I started to doubt myself, beating myself up and telling myself that I wasn’t the right fit for the position, worried that I’d scare off or impact the education of the students in my tutorial. I would go into my tutorial and reprimand myself whenever I couldn’t answer a student’s question at that moment. But, as we near the end of the semester, I realized that I loved being a TA! It was an awesome and fulfilling experience for me and it showed me to stay positive and believe in myself. Beating yourself up and staying in your head may harm your mental health, while also not allowing you to celebrate your successes! You’ve gotta let go of those negative feelings and just go for it because if you don’t start now, when will you? 

Upcoming Event: Industry Night!

Are you still trying to figure out what to do with that comms, media arts, or humanities degree? Come out to our Industry Night on January 11, 2024 where you’ll be able to network and listen to professionals in all sorts of industries. Did we mention there will also be snacks  👀 For more information visit the CMAS Instagram page. To secure your ticket, visit the CMAS linktree. 

We hope you found some insight on this month’s topic! With exams around the corner we hope you take the time to self-care, reflect, and reach out if you need to. 

Until next time reader, Jacqueline & Stass