#(growing up into the appropriate gendered role)

[agnesandhilda]

one of these days I'm gonna completely lose it and write about how blue lock's shounen genre misogyny (which isn't to say that it gets a pass because the shounen genre is known for being misogynistic. blue lock is worse than average in this regard. blue lock's very premise is built on misogyny in a way I don't think has been analyzed enough even by people who are aware of the real-world women's football it totally disregards) and accompanying shounen genre-typical totalizing ideal of masculinity result in giving the different play positions the characters have notable gendered connotations, mostly by accident

[mad-scientist-enthusiast]

Yor Forger- Character Analysis

I think Yor is such a fascinating character. For one, she has a very unique relationship with femininity. Growing up, Yor had to be "the strong one" and look after her brother in the absence of their parents, and this led her to becoming an assassin so she could provide for him. But even without the Garden, Yor has always been physically strong, blunt, and brutal. Her upbringing didn't allow for the same societal socialization as most girls her age had, which also plays a role here. Despite this, Yor makes a great effort to present as formal and as feminine as possible. And to her credit, she does hit all the hallmarks there. She dresses the right way, has a formal manner of speaking, works in a stereotypically feminine occupation as her day job, and goes out with her coworkers when invited; yet her coworkers, and presumably others still seem to know there is something inherently different about her.

In any other setting, this might be okay—an odd coworker is nothing to worry about—but SPY x FAMILY takes place during the Cold War. People are willing to turn even neighbors in to the Secret Police on just mere suspicion, and that's not even including those who make false reports just because they don't like someone. Yor's survival (or at least freedom) relies on her ability to perform femininity according to the standard, but even when she does everything right, she's still alienated from her peers. A lot of this has to do with language, as she tends to only be aware of syntactic and basic semantic context of words and phrases, instead of the pragmatic context used in Ostania. This was likely also a result of her upbringing. She's not only living a double life as an assassin, but also having to perform this femininity to such an extent is another mask she has to wear. Throwing the pretend marriage into the equation, you get an unrealistic amount of masks to juggle all at once.

Although I'd like to think she's able to take a few of them off when it's just her, Loid, and Anya. Outside of Yuri, Yor has felt that her strength and brutality are things to hide and be ashamed of, so it's a pleasant surprise when her new family immediately accepts and praises her for these things. Loid doesn't think there's anything untoward about her, and typically finds Yor's strength to be quite useful (and hot). And Anya looks up to Yor, wanting to be strong like her one day. This is one of many reasons why their family works so well. So much of her life is spent feeling inadequate for things she can't control while living in fear that someone might report her to the Secret Police, and yet now, with her new family, she is treated normally and with respect. She is able to live a fantasy she never thought she would be able to have with her social difficulties. 

I mention her communication struggles as part of her separation from accepted standards of femininity because the way that women talk and their ability to be socially savvy is inherently tied to their femininity. To me this reminds me of the gender disconnect many autistic people (like myself) feel when they are unable to perform their gender roles conventionally. Even strongly masking, it can feel like theres something so deeply wrong with you that everyone else seems to pick up, but you can't for the life of you identify what. Yor wants to perform femininity, as seen by her uniform with the Garden. She very easily could've gone for something more practical or comfortable, but instead chose an outfit that is seductive and feminine. But the issue comes into play when she's presented with different social contexts. She didn't connect that wearing a seductive dress would probably be inappropriate for getting drinks with her coworkers, because she doesn't realize what is and is not appropriate in the first place. 

Overall, I think this view of her character adds so much depth to her and is way more interesting than the "female himbo dommy mommy" box that the fandom tends to stick her in, to me. (No hate btw, to each their own).

[worriedvision]

if it's okay, may i request Tighnari with the "wrong time right place" prompt?

maybe something like Tighnari beibg really stressed in Gandharva Ville for weeks on end (+ Collei's Eleazar before the Archon Quest) and not being able to reciprocate our feelings?

abd when he finally gets to us, we already have someone else taking care of us

...

I've decided to do this in a different way with how the reader moved on, kind of like Tighnari getting a taste of his own medicine. Gender neutral reader, angst.

--

Since you first saw him, you were enamoured with him. You knew he was the right guy for you, he ticked all your boxes. He was in the forest, finishing up a withering zone, and you happened to be finishing a report. You land up working with him on this report, discovering he had much to gain from your note taking and getting the Akedemiya to get on board with his ideas. You had a few meals together when working on it, and you couldn't stop your heart beating hard.

You try to make moves where appropriate, hoping to secure a relationship with him, but he doesn't bite.

"_, knock it off." Tighnari tuts one night, you asking him out for the tenth time. "Can't you take a hint? I'm not interested."

"Oh... Sorry if I made you uncomfortable..." You trail off, Tighnari turning to face you.

"You know I have lots of things on my plate due to work. I do not have the time to indulge in this." Tighnari explains. "Under different circumstances, there might have been a possibility of me accepting your confession."

"...I think I can finish this report myself." You coldly let out. "Don't worry, I won't ruin this paper because of my feelings being hurt." You reassure him, walking away.

--

When Alhaitham became the Acting Grand Sage, he decided to make you his scribe. After reading your report on the spawning areas of withering zones, as well as this being backed up by Master Tighnari in an interview, he offered you the chance to be an acting scribe until he filled all the necessary roles. Alhaitham becomes a tutor of yours, agreeing to proofread your reports and giving you useful feedback before sending you on your way to finish the report before submitting it.

After the rejection from Tighnari, you had to distract yourself with work. You fully focus on your writing, opting to remain factual and logical. You wouldn't make the same mistake as the last time like you did with Tighnari where you caught feelings that, in hindsight, he was unable to act on.

You receive requests to interview Tighnari again, and you only needed to look at the letter once to see it was sent from Tighnari himself. Shaking your head, you add these letters to a growing pile.

--

"_, it's been a while." Tighnari calls out, Cyno sitting with him. "Come, we have lots to catch up on."

You decide to walk over, not interested in wasting too much time here when you had several meetings you were due to sit in on.

"We finally got the withering zones cleared, and Collei is taking a turn for the better." Tighnari nods, making eye contact with you. "I have more time on my hands now, and I want to build up the growing relationship we had."

How rich. He told you himself that he was far too busy with work, and now its the opposite way.

"I have work to do." You simply state, leaving Tighnari and Cyno sitting there as you walk towards your first meeting area.

--

"That did not go well." Tighnari groans out, ears drooping.

"Alhaitham has that effect in people. I wouldn't take it personally." Cyno explains.

"No, they grew distant after I told them I was too busy with the withering zones." Tighnari pouts, staring at the door where you left as if you would come back in.

Cyno has to stop himself from making a terrible joke about how working on withering zones withered the relationship, seeing for Tighnari was taking you walking out.

"...I think we should skip TCG today...as much as I enjoy the game, I would rather not beat a friend who isn't mentally there." Cyno states, raising a hand to begin ordering food.

[shmowder]

Related to that recent post of yours you got any headcanons for how Daniil would be as a dad? Because I truly believe that man would be a good father…. Although he’s probably every teachers nightmare come to life, he also strikes as the type who wouldn’t have originally planned to have any children but the second he holds his kid for the first time he’s absolutely smitten and will tell anyone about his who listens about his kid.

In my heart I know that he's a girl dad.

Daniil, who doesn't care about the baby's gender during pregnancy, who always reminds people that he'll treat his child the same no matter what.

But oh, the second his daughter is born and he holds her in his arms. A whole new life just born into existence, started in front of his eyes, hearing her soft cry as he stood there in a trance.

Realising he's a father now.

It's like a switch immediately flipped. Paternal instincts kicking in.

This child might as well rival the sun in greatness in Dankovsky's eyes, She's genuinely all that's on his mind.

What he thought would be just a new responsibility on his shoulders, another milestone to cross off of the list of life goals before going back to his research and studies, completely turned his world upside down.

You know Daniil's tendency to litter his sentences with "I, me and my" to always talk about himself no matter the subject? Yeah, well, now he talks about his daughter instead.

"Oh your child started crawling, how...nice. Well MY daughter just took her first steps when my partner and I took her out to that new restaurant. Oh yes, I'm aware they don't allow kids, but she isn't just any kid. She is so well behaved and much smarter than her age, of course even the restaurant owner could see that and exempt her from the...common rules."

Daniil doesn't adhere to stereotypical parental roles either. He's taking his daughter to the nearest changing station even if it meant walking into the women's bathroom because the men's didn't have it.

He's the one to prepare her bottles with care, always test the warm water beforehand to ensure the temperature is appropriate, count the tablespoons of powdered milk he scoops, secure the cap and shake the bottle.

Keeping track of her feeding time, preparing her baths, and drying her throughly. Keeping her warm and safe as she drifts off to sleep before laying her back into her crib.

He doesn't "forget" or get lazy. He takes each of those responsibilities seriously no matter how much of his personal time is cut off because of it.

He's always boosting about how his daughter has no difficulty solving those kids' educational puzzles and how he started giving her adult puzzle to solve instead.

He's doting in his own way, spending time with her during playtime, letting her mess his hair and paint on the walls with no repercussions. Allowing her absolute freedom in self-expression.

Part of him especially enjoys the clothes shopping.

Dad Daniil who would rather set the store on fire than allow his child to wear something tacky or cheap, who takes his daughter to high-end brand stores to get her measurements taken so a tailor may design a one of a kind set for her. Putting extra care in styling her hair each morning, the hair accessories with actual gems and pearls, the neat tidy shoes and socks with ruffles. Daniil dresses her like his very own doll and basks in all the compliments other parents give her way each time they go out.

Each birthday is given it's due in importance and made into an event, sending invitations to his colleague doctors and researchers alike, taking pride in each cursive letter he inks as his daughter sits on his lap, eyeing his work with interest and sometimes adding an ink stain or two with her small fingers.

Daniil's study becomes her favourite place to play as she grows up. While Daniil would've chased any other rascal away who attempted to even touch his medical equipment, his daughter is treated like royality instead.

Part of him enjoys teaching. He lacks the patient, but his love for her overflows through his veins and makes him want to try harder and better himself, be more gentle.

This is why he's patient as he teaches her how to work a microscope, how to be careful with the cog as you turn it, and how to carry the glass slides with diligence.

And the look on her face as she marvels at the discovery that a whole new world of microscopic organisms exists just under her little thumb, it made Daniil feel as if all the suffering and hardships he went through just to get up to this point were completely worth it.

He infects her with his love for science. He reads to her fables and stories each night to raise her on good morals and grant her a noble soul.

His daughter quickly takes a hatred to lying as much as he does, she is never afraid to state her opinion neither is she reluctant to share her ideals and dreams, no matter how big she dreams, her father taught her that anything is possible if you work hard for it.

While they may have a falling out during teenagehood like any healthy parent and child relationship goes through, I think Daniil would still be her favourite parent even then.

He's the first to stomp to the private school if he even suspects anyone is giving her a hard time or a teacher is being unreasonable.

He's the one who has the period talk with her as a doctor. He reassures her this is all completely normal, and he'll offer her painkillers whenever it gets too much.

Dankovsky even has the sex talk with her later as she grows up. He would rather she stayed aware and informed than accidentally got herself into an unkown situation. He explains everything with the nonchalance of a medical professional rather than a father to not make things awkward for her.

That's why their relationship survives the rocky teenage years, because The Bachelor made sure to remain a stable figure in her life. To always be nearby to help but never be suffocating or judgmental.

His daughter is genuinely his life's work. He has put all of his efforts into giving her the best possible relationship with her parents, into letting her flourish into her own person and help her achieve her goals.

He's stiff with the kids' ingame, easily annoyed, and only humours their conversations if it's someone extremely polite like Capella.

Ingame, Daniil rarely mentions his family. You don't know what kind of parents he had, and judging by his university years of carrying a pistol around and even stealing samples to aid in his research when he hasn't earned the doctor title yet, it's not hard to figure out he may not have been close to his parents, let alone his father.

With their expectations set on him since a young age to become a "conqueror" and join the military, there is a big chance he came from a military family set in traditions. How his pursuit to become a healer rather than a fighter might have been deemed a sign of weakness by them, especially for a "man" at that time period.

Maybe they didn't view knowledge as an equal to power, a Bachelor's degree at that time period was the second highest degree you could ever get from a university. Daniil not only succeeded in his field but founded a while research lab, became nationwide famous, and made everyone who ever doubted him eat their words.

Powered by spite and the need to prove his parents wrong. That's why he's so insistent on doing the opposite as a parent, to show his child unconditional love and support no matter what their dream is.

Otherwise, he doesn't take them or their dreams seriously, much like his parents probably met his dreams to "defeat death" with scepticism and doubt.

If Daniil Dankovsky had a child, any child. He will always take them seriously, be their confidante, and never dissmiss their goals or passions as mere "kid's imagination" or a phase.

Even if his child didn't turn out smart or exceptional, even if they struggled with the most basics and were quite behind others their age.

Daniil would never belittle them or even suggest they should give up, he'd double his efforts to connect with them, to try different methods and teach them that no matter how unfair and cruel life is, you must keep trying.

[luane-horlis]

This is long and I apologize but I don’t have any other social media and sometimes you’ve just gotta scream into the void.

My first job in a library was a tiny rural community college with an even tinier library. The collection was mostly academic but we did have a couple shelves of kids books for early childhood education majors. No kids were really ever in there, except for one or two bored middle schoolers tagging along with a parent who needed to do homework.

This was around 2008 or so, when I was in undergrad at a Big College in the city and between that and seeing Callie and Arizona on Grey’s Anatomy I was taking my first nervous step into “huh, maybe I am one of them queers…” I had no elder queer role models in my life and there were zero out gay kids in my tiny rural southern high school, so that was quite literally my first experience with sapphic love (and Sara Ramirez is still insanely hot, I’m very very gay for her to this day.) All of this is to set the stage of me as a painfully shy, extremely sheltered, very closeted 20-something with my first real job at a library, the thing I wanted to do When I Grew Up.

We had just gotten a copy of the book And Tango Makes Three, which if you don’t know, is about two male penguins who were pair bonded and raise a chick together. My boss, a middle aged white man, was debating on whether he should catalog it for the kids section or the adult section. I thought he was nuts.

“It’s a children’s story book, why would you want to put it in the adult section?”

“Well, it’s two male penguins…”

“So?”

“It’s inappropriate…”

“How? They’re not doing anything graphic in the book, they just raise a chick together.”

Having gone to grad school and completed my Masters I now know this guy was just a shit-ass librarian who needed to exit the profession, but at the time I was boggled he even had one second thought over cataloging a children’s book as a children’s book. I, again a painfully shy 5’3” 20 year old, almost got into a shouting match with my 6ft 50 something boss over a penguin book, but he ultimately put it in with the children’s books when the Dean of Libraries told him in no uncertain terms to fuck off with his bullshit.

When I got this job working with kids and teens I resolved to be the queer adult I really needed in my own teens so I didn’t have to endure such a horrible comphet upbringing. I have pride pins and pronoun buttons on my lanyard, I wear probably way too many rainbows, I make pride book displays, I’m in the library’s pride discord, and if the YA manager asks I’ll be at every teen pride cafe program to just stand there like “hey, I’m an Adult Queer and we’re here if you need us.”

All of the above is just to say that I’m tired. At my current library we now have an asshole county councilman demanding on behalf of “numerous complaints from concerned citizens” that we move all children’s materials about gender identity and sexuality from the children’s section to the adult section “to protect the kids” and I’m just so tired. It’s 2023.

Protect the kids from what, the same miserable anxiety-ridden tween and teen years I had thinking I was fucking wrong and abnormal for the way I felt? Of being so lonely with no one to talk to and nothing to turn to like, oh, an age appropriate book for information and comfort? I still deal with feeling absolutely worthless and like I’m unloveable now in my mid-fucking 30s from growing up like that so excuse me if I want kids to have access to things which help them grow up safe and knowing they have value without fear.

I’m not giving up, I’m still fighting every damn day to do what I can in my limited scope but fucking hell, I’m tired.

[septembermonologues]

im realizing that while she absolutely didn't mean to my mom baked misandrist tendencies into me because she didn't put up with misogyny in the slightest from anyone and i only had sisters and my dad who is happy to be a "girl dad" growing up so we weren't forced into any gender roles and i just never had to deal with men really and now i don't have the patience for them if they even put a single toe out of my designated line of appropriate behavior

[yanderes-galore]

Oh oh! I have one for invader Zim! If you don't write for Zim himself please ignore, and I apologize if this is the case. BUT perhaps.... headcanons for Irken reader and zim? Especially if the reader is pretty tall (not as tall as the tallest ofc but like.. average adult human height). I'd like to see what you think Zim would be like especially if he's absolutely head over heels for them on first meeting 🙈

Sure! How could I not write for Zim, lol.

Original Zim Concept

Yandere! Zim with Irken! Darling

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Attempted manipulation, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship, Worship yandere, Kidnapping/Isolation mention, Slight possessive behavior.

Irken, as I've stated in my Zim concept, aren't the best in terms of love.

At birth they have no parents and are just... thrown into their role.

So Zim with another Irken may start as you just tolerating each other.

However... Irken society has always praised height.

They are normally a short species and even The Almighty Tallest are artificially tall.

Zim may be obsessive with a taller darling faster than one of his own height.

This is due to the social dynamic of your society.

Zim overall is very similar to his original yandere behavior with an irken darling.

Maybe less sadistic, but overall the same.

Zim is Manipulative, Possessive, Attention-Seeking/Clingy, Delusional, and difficult with proper affection.

If you were taller than him then he'd probably also be a worship yandere.

How you could meet is you go to Earth for whatever reason you feel is appropriate.

A mission, being banished, sent to get rid of Zim, Curiosity, etc...

Zim isn't entirely an 'obsession at first sight' yandere.

He'd take a bit more time.

Although he does find himself growing fond of you rather quickly...

A bit too quickly for his liking....

Zim has always been manipulative.

He has a way with words and can be charismatic when he talks.

With you as an Irken his charm is less effective but he still tries.

If you fall for his words and lies is up to you.

There's a good chance you won't, annoying for him but great for you.

Zim would still be possessive.

Now there's two Irkens on Earth and he can drag you into his plans for destruction!

In his eyes you two will be partners in crime.

You'll both destroy Earth, even if that wasn't your plan.

Zim is not very considerate of your thoughts and feelings.

If you want to go outside and mingle with humans, he won't allow it.

Zim hates the idea of your attention going anywhere/to anyone else but him.

He's delusional.

Not only does he feel you "love" him like he does you, he feels you agree with his plans no matter how stupid.

(Not love, although he doesn't know the difference)

Zim is poor when it comes to actual affection.

The concept of love is so strange to him and he already is uneasy about hugs or anything more.

Irkens just don't do that?

He tries to instead show his affection and obsession towards you in other ways.

He shows he respects you with compliments and gifts.

To him he feels it is the best less physical way to express his adoration.

Lastly, Zim is a yandere that thrives on praise.

If you're a taller Irken than him then it just hits harder.

He comes to his darling for praise and melts whenever he gets it.

He doesn't like you out of his sight and tries to keep you in his base because of this.

It's safer in the base anyways.

No need to be involved with those filthy humans.

Zim worships you like you're a gift from The Tallest themselves at times.

He's egotistical himself but he'd worship you for that reason if you were tall or not.

If you were tall then he doesn't mind you taking control of the mission at times.

Irken have a thing for height 🤷‍♀️.

Overall, Zim would fall for a fellow Irken darling. Even more so if you were taller.

Just prepare for his intense and deranged delusions towards you.

[titleleaf]

'director's commentary' on any sex scene you've written that you consider particularly fraught/controversial?

You did not come to play tonight, my friend, and for that I thank you.

This is tough though because I write enough overtly terrible stuff — everything I write that’s more gnarly than like, gentle marital lovemaking is pretty dire — but what can be controversial in fandom is a wide net, so I’m going to go with most fraught/most upsetting for me, personally.

So: DVD commentary for “somebody’s sins but not mine” (Stranger Things, Billy Hargrove/Max Mayfield noncon) .

Content warning on the rest of this post for discussion of sexual assault/sexual abuse/sibling incest, underage (older teen/very young teen), physical abuse, misogyny. The fic is explicit (heed the warnings, seriously) but the discussion here is more general.

Obvious things up top — the title comes from the Patti Smith version of “Gloria”, ‘Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine’. There’s legitimate line by line commentary on the song that digs into Smith’s thoughts and intentions with the lyric, which you can find here.

So much of Max’s s4 plotline is about shame, guilt, and being the opposite of free — grieving someone who hurt her very badly. She has so much to unpack by then.

The big throughline that jumps out at me here is all the very gendered bullying and verbal cruelty Billy uses toward Max — he uses the ancient abuser rhetoric of “teaching” her sexually, but he also frames it as teaching her to be a woman, to be sexually accessible and under his power. He really wants to break her down from any possible angle, and that makes this especially raw. From Billy’s side of things he’s very violently putting his attraction to her into terms he can understand, turning what should be a very fleeting confused thought in a confusing situation into something infinitely worse, but he’s also exorcising his anger at her independence and his own sense of powerlessness. Billy’s also young here, though certainly beyond old enough to be responsible for himself and to have there be a serious dynamic of power — to characters the Party’s age, he might as well be a full grown adult, but relative to actual adults he’s a shitty kid. I wanted to show how his aggressive embrace of a harsh and toxic model of 1980s masculinity is an overreaction to cover up his own experiences of abuse, being derided as weak and feminized, and to reframe the confusing experience of being desirable and desired even to adults in terms of his power over women. It’s not coincidental to me imo that his Big Moment of armor-piercing, monster-defeating humanity is in the context of his relationship with his mom and who he could have been if he’d escaped that trap of violent machismo/who he might be able to claw his way back to being again if he wasn’t getting fatally possessed by a Mind Flayer.

Billy’s a hot villain but I can’t get into fanworks that elide his bigotry and scariness. He’s pitiful but he’s also really fucking scary in a way that supernatural/otherworldly baddies can’t be to me.

Max’s confusion and resistance to being forced into this role of sexualized object is complicated by her own age-appropriate attraction to girls and similarly pretty normal interest around sex — those recollections and feelings are getting muddled together here and it was important to me to have that layer present. I love bi Max and her relationship to Eleven is so sweet and liberatory, so it’s important to me that her joyful presentation of “girly” stuff like fashion is so focused on self expression and being your own boss, which Eleven desperately needs both as a former institutional prisoner and a kid chafing to grow up under a pretty controlling father figure. (I really hated the whole “Hopper freaks out about Eleven doing teen stuff” plotline, and in addition to that her whole “escaped government captive” thing means that even his absolute best parenting has to be pretty restricted by circumstances.)

I had to do a bunch of reading about the interior of Billy’s stupid car — big ups to all the car nerds who have meticulously documented every car ever depicted on film — for another much more fun explicit fic and revisiting that for this one was a real “what the hell am I doing… I could be writing this same character getting railed on the hood of his Camaro by a consenting douchebag adult instead of viciously furthering the cycle of male violence by abusing his kid sister…”

I write a lot of villain/heroine dynamics but I don’t write a lot of sibling incest pairings and the sibling factor here makes everything sooooo much worse.

This fic is a fucking bummer! That’s my final word. Out of all the grim shit I’ve written this might be the grimmest.

[englishmagic]

Wanna read about my gender journey?

A youtuber asked "what was the moment you realised you were trans?" and I tried to put it into words in a comment. Instead, it became... Longer than any youtube comment that anyone would read. It feels more appropriate to put it here, so I am going to. But since it is, uh, long, I will put it under a read more.

For me, it was many small moments stacking up, starting around puberty. I was a little girl, but when I outgrew girlhood, growing into womanhood felt incredibly wrong. I started (very unsafely) binding my chest when I was about eleven or ten, but only to look at myself in the mirror with a flat chest, because I didn't want anyone to notice and ask about it. When I was a teenager I referred to my assigned sex as a "y chromosome deficiency". I remember crying after a row with my mother where I asked why I had to be a boy or a girl and not just a kid, and was told that I wasn't a kid anymore. When I floated the possibility of being a boy, the conversation jumped straight to "okay so should we schedule invasive surgery on your genitals??" and obviously that scared me away.

Reading feminist theory I got very preoccupied with gender socialisation, and thought through nearly every choice I made with the question "would I choose differently if I hadn't been raised a girl?" Seeing feminine-looking men made me excited, because if they could look like that and still call themselves men, maybe I could be a man sometimes, too. I became vaguely aware of nonbinary people when I started using tumblr around 2010-ish, but I was always under the impression that it was some sort of medical condition that you were supposed to pity, but which I envied instead, and that made me feel like a bad person, like I was fetishising someone's struggle by wishing it upon myself.

All of these were things I thought, did, and said, while convinced I was totally cis, and just… Weird, I guess. Desperate for attention, maybe. In fact, while I tried to express support for trans people outwardly, for the longest time I had trouble understanding the whole concept - after all, my "biologically female body" was the only reason I was a woman; I felt no ties to that identity beyond physical categorisation. If that didn't make me a woman, then what did? Spoiler alert: Nothing.

(added for tumblr bc less censorship: It was so weird to me that someone would go through all that trouble just to have a vagina and boobs. Because that was the reason I was a woman, nothing made me a woman except vagina and boobs. The rest was just behaviour I'd been molded and manipulated into, just gender roles, really, and those are made up bullshit anyway. What do trans women experience, do they just look at their crotch and go, there should be a vulva there and the fact that there isn't upsets them? In no way did I realise that maybe if I feel like possession of a cunt was the only reason I was saddled with the title "woman", then maybe the title didn't mean much to me at all. I was only a woman because the shape of my body dictated it. And when I finally internalised the fact that it doesn't, I immediately stopped identifying as that gender.)

I'm not a woman. I think I settled on that conclusion probably around 2016, but it has been slow going and honestly a lot of it has been subconscious. I'm mostly out of the closet now, but I'm also still not entirely sure where my identity falls. It feels awkward to be figuring myself out in my thirties, too vague, too little, too late, but "definitely not woman" is something I'm 100% sure on.

And here I put an apology for writing such a long comment. Instead of apologising, I will here make the comment at least twice as long. More signs along the way, for one - by the time I was like, fourteen, 80-90% of my self-insert characters in writing were male. I'd pretend to be a guy on online forums, or just not specify a gender and get really happy when people didn't assume I was female. I put that down to internalised misogyny. I also took on a male sounding nickname with my friends - and if there's any reason I'm glad I didn't transition as a teen it's that I'd probably be stuck as Seth. I would spend ages in the bathroom making myself look more masculine, slicking back my hair and pretending I was a guy, practicing (atrocious) drag king makeup that I washed away before anyone else could see it.

As an adult, I've also realised that I am much more comfortable with sexuality if I am seen as masculine. I have quite a feminine appearance. And I do identify as aromantic asexual, that label makes me feel seen and gives me peace of mind - but sometimes I suspect part of my discomfort with romance and sexuality is that being attractive to people has always been a gendered experience to me. I've got a pretty face, and I like compliments as much as anyone, but the moment someone calls me attractive, sexy, hot, anything like that, I feel like I want to dig a hole and bury myself underground. There are pieces of clothing I've loved, but that I haven't been able to make myself wear after someone made a comment about me looking hot in them. However. I posted a selfie with one of those "this app will put a beard on you in exchange for training material for our AI" filters on it to a facebook page, and when people called that sexy, handsome, and "daddy" - that didn't feel gross. That actually felt empowering and exciting and flattering and I realised maybe that's how being told you're attractive is supposed to make you feel?

As mentioned above, I'm still not entirely sure about the man thing. But it feels better than woman. For now, I'm comfortable with being nonbinary, transmasc, certified non-woman.

I still feel like shit a lot of the time. I look in the mirror and I see a woman and I wish she was allowed to exist, because she looks so nice. I wish I wanted to be her. But the very idea of it makes me feel, well, the way people expressing their attraction to me as a female creature does. Uncomfortable, nauseous, sometimes borderline suicidal. It feels wrong to deny the world access to this person who would be so much better liked, so much more of an asset, than the absolute weirdo hiding behind my face. I struggle with the intersection between internalised fatphobia as I've gained a lot of weight in my late twenties, early thirties, and the despair of that fat settling in places that make me look ever more womanly, with curves and all of that shit which is great on other people, but drags my body further and further away from what I want it to be.

I'm still in the situation where wanting to change my body kind of requires me to be a dude, especially if I want anything medical, which I don't dare to think about too much. And I still think it feels too extreme, somehow, to commit to being a man. I like my femininity. I enjoy looking like Galadriel sometimes, I enjoy giving off strong lesbian energy occasionally, I have "girlsonas" that are important parts of me. I just don't like dressing like a woman around other people, because at the back of my mind I know my appearance will be seen as proof that I am in fact a woman. And I know that I shouldn't care what people think, I shouldn't care what I look like, it's what's inside that counts and as long as I know my truth - but "my truth" is kind of foggy at the moment. So being identified by others as the only thing I'm 100% sure I am not is not helpful.

Sometimes being nonbinary seems to boil down to "say you are nonbinary". And yeah, that's true. But what's the next step? I'm not happy where I am. Saying I'm nonbinary isn't enough for me. I don't know what I need, I think I need help figuring that out and doing whatever I need to do, but I have no idea where to get that help. If anyone read this far and has a suggestion, I am open to those I guess...

Thank you for reading this, if anyone does. I don't expect anyone will. Maybe just writing it will be good somehow, I don't know.

[quinfamy]

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒. ** 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 , 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆.

bold   —   always  applies. italic   —   sometimes  applies. strike  —  never  applies  /  hard  limit.

— INCLINATION    /   HABITS : is  submissive | is  dominant | prefers  to  top | prefers  to  bottom  |  likes  to  switch  |  identifies  as  heterosexual  |  identifies  as  homosexual  | identifies  as  bisexual  | identifies  as  pansexual |  identifies  as  demisexual  | identifies  as  asexual  |  enjoys  sex  with  men  |  enjoys  sex  with  women  |  enjoys  sex  with  aliens  | enjoys  sex  with  androids  |   enjoys  sex  with  monsters  |  enjoys  sex  with  any  sex  /  gender  | enjoys  sex  with  multiple  people  at  once | initiates | waits  for  partner  to  initiate  |  spits  |  swallows  |  prefers  sex  in  the  morning  |  prefers  sex  at  night  |  will  have  sex  anytime  |  no  sex  drive  |  low  sex  drive  |  average  sex  drive  |  high  sex  drive |  hypersexual | fluctuating  sex  drive.

* she’s  far  more  of  a  sub  but  will  occasionally  switch  and  take  on  a  more  dominant  role .

—   BODY   /    APPEARANCE : slender  build  |  medium  build  | athletic  build | muscular  build |  curvy  build  |  voluptuous  build  |  wears  boxers  |  wears  briefs  | wears  boxer  briefs  | wears  lingerie | goes  ‘ commando ’ |  shaves / waxes  | manscapes |  doesn’t  shave / wax  | cup  size  a – c | cup  size  d – f  |  1 – 5"  in  length  | 6 – 9″  in  length  |  10”  or  over  in  length.

—   SOUNDS : is  silent / makes  little  to  no  sounds  |  is  very  quiet  | is  very  loud  | grows  in  volume  over  time  | bites hand / partner / pillow  to  muffle  themselves  | calls  out  partner’s  name  | curses |  growls  | fakes / exaggerates | prefers  a  quiet  partner |  prefers  a  loud / appropriately  vocal  partner  | prefers  a  responsive  partner | no preference towards partner’s volume  |  is  turned  on  by  dirty  talk  |  is  turned  off  by  dirty  talk.

—   TURN  ONS    /    KINKS :   having  their  hands  pinned |  pinning  their  partner’s  hands |  having  their  hair  pulled | pulling  their  partner’s  hair | being  watched  ( by  their  partner ) | being  watched  ( by  a  third  party ) |  watching their partner  | receiving  oral | giving  oral | calling  their  partner  ‘ daddy ’ | being  called  ‘ daddy ’ |  calling  their  partner  ‘ mommy ‘ | being  called  ‘ mommy ‘ | calling  their  partner  ‘ master ‘ | being  called  ‘ master ‘ | calling  their  partner  ‘ mistress ‘ | being  called  ‘ mistress ‘ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting / marking  | being  bitten  /  marked  |  spanking  | being  spanked |  teasing  | being teased  | having  toys  used  on  them  | using  toys  on  their  partner | giving anal | receiving  anal  | choking | being  choked | dirty  talk | being  tied  up  |  tying  their  partner  up  | being  worshiped |  worshiping  their  partner  |  humiliating  | being  humiliated |  degrading  |  being  degraded |  being  pegged  |  pegging  their  partner  | ��being  edged |  edging  |  age gap  | anonymous  sex  | blood  play  | breeding  | chastity devices | clothed / partially clothed |  condoms  |  deep - throating  |  gun  play  |  intercrural sex  | knife  play | lingerie | nipple  play  |  orgasm  denial  | overstimulation  | pregnancy  |  prostate milking  |  public  sex |  rimming  |  roleplay  | sadism / masochism  |  size  difference  |  somnophilia |  squirting.

—    PLACES : airplane |  alleyway | bath  | beach  | bedroom | boat |  bus  | car | cathedral / church |  cemetery  |  closet  |  concert  |  dressing room  |  elevator  |  empty or abandoned building  |  field  | forest  | gym  |  home bathroom  | hospital |   kitchen  |  library  |  movie  theatre  |  museum  | ocean  | parking lot |  planetarium  |  pool  | public bathroom |  rooftop  | school |  sex  club  | shower |  tent  |  terrace  |  train  | workplace.

[luciaiscool7]

What We Do In The Shadows: Vampires and the Supernatural

A Gothic double refers to a character which exhibits a sort of split personality, such as Jekell and Hyde, and is a gothic literary trope that has been appropriated in neo-Gothic tv series, such as Penny Dreadful. Dina Pedro extends the idea of a Gothic double in her work ‘We’re Going to Make You into a Proper Woman’:

“Neo-Gothic fiction portrays an insidious Other that can neither be contained nor controlled. This could be interpreted as a subversive representation of postmodern anxieties— including gender oppression and patriarchal violence—through familiar Gothic elements such as ‘supernaturalism, excess or Medievalism,’” (196).

In What We Do In The Shadows (2019-present) all the main characters, minus one human, are vampires, so the premise is set up for what we consider “supernatural” to be natural, and for humans to be the outlying Other. The show does not contain a viable example of a Gothic double, but it does investigate other-ness and what can be considered supernatural through the story. What We Do In The Shadows is a comedy mockumentary of the lives of 3 vampire roommates, which takes some inspiration from historic vampires as well as the gothic literary trope (within a mockumentary setting) of characters telling their own stories within a broader narrative.

The origins of each vampire determine their relationship with the “supernatural." The vampire Nadja is from 15th century Antipaxos, a small island in the Mediterranean, and her husband, Lazlo, is from 17th or 18th century England, and considers himself a “man of science.” When Nadja warns the other vampires of supernatural occurrences throughout the show, Lazlo and Nandor often dismiss her as superstitious until she is proved right and she ultimately saves them. Interestingly, this both affirms the gendered binary of supernatural/science through the roles of Nadja and Lazlo, and subverts it. What We Do In The Shadows recontextualizes the usually debunked idea of “supernatural” as real in this mockumentary series: making Nadja, who falls into the trope a hysterical superstitious woman, right, and Lazlo, who is the “man of science and enlightenment,” wrong and ridiculous with his 17th century scientific logic. The show uses the gendered supernatural/science binary for comedic purposes and shows the ridiculousness of the binary in the first place. For example, in one episode, the house is haunted by ghosts, and Lazlo refuses to believe it, citing a potion of metal, gas and yellow bile as the true ghost. When he’s proven wrong, he pretends that he doesn’t see the ghost to save face (which he argues is to catch the ghost by surprise) and Nadja ultimately takes the problem seriously and solves it herself.

More than being vampires, the immortality of the vampires liberates them from traditional gender roles. All three main vampires come from different time periods and countries and were socialized with different gender roles as humans, and have been allowed to change and grow over the course of 500+ years. In terms of gender performativity through clothing, the vampire’s wardrobes are tied to their cultural upbringing, some of which breaks modern gender presentation because ideas of gender change over time and have changed since the vampires were alive. On the other hand, the freedom of the vampires to express themselves as those who aren’t held down to finite human expectations of gender allows for experimentation in gender performance. This disconnect from human small-mindedness also liberates them from oppressive normalcy, coupled with access to supernatural powers and creatures. It is also implied that all of the vampires are queer, and their relationships are brought up very casually- it is clear that they are liberated from shame and social expectations of gender and sex due to their supernatural immortality and disconnect from human social expectations. A great example of this is Nandor and his 37 wives that he has a djinn reincarnate later in the show:

Immortality also allows the vampires to transcend the idea of reward or punishment- they will outlive any moral ideas of repercussions, and the format of a 20 minute episode based comedy show doesn’t allow for many hard endings with set morals. Immortality liberates them from facing human social expectations, and the only real downside they can face is time: they can never really return to what they used to know and they have to continually readjust with the times.

Discussion Questions:

How does portraying vampires from their perspective change the human one we usually see which depicts vampires as a stand-in Other?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of telling supernatural stories from a comedic perspective?

Although immortality (and other forms of excessive supernatural power) is liberating, it can also be a curse- where is that line? 

@theuncannyprofessoro

[pitgritted]

⟐ inclinations / habits [  :  ]

is submissive | is dominant | prefers to top | prefers to bottom | likes to switch | identifies as heterosexual | identifies as homosexual | identifies as bisexual | identifies as pansexual | identifies as demisexual | identifies as asexual (gray) | enjoys sex with men | enjoys sex with women | enjoys sex with any sex / gender | enjoys sex with multiple people at once | initiates | waits for partner to initiate | spits | swallows | prefers sex in the morning | prefers sex at night | will have sex anytime | no sex drive | low sex drive | average sex drive | high sex drive | hypersexual | fluctuating sex drive

          ➤ sett doesn't directly associate himself with a " role " per say - but by perspective , he would be labeled a switch . given he's constantly in an environment whereas he's forced to portray aggression & power , the concept of ever being vulnerable is very rare . even scary for him to commit to being physically vulnerable , paranoid he's letting down his guard to be taken advantage of . physical love in general is a hard approach for him , or love itself really .

⟐ body / appearance [  :  ]

small build | medium build | athletic build | muscular build | curvy build | voluptuous build | wears boxers/comfortable underwear | wears briefs/panties | wears lingerie | goes ‘commando’ | shaves / waxes | manscapes | doesn’t shave / wax | 1 – 5" in length | 6 – 9″ in length | 10” or over in length

          ➤ let's just say when it comes to hair hygiene , sett falls under keeping up with it & not at the same time . because of his heritage , his hair grows faster than normal human males , as a result he's very hairy [  ;  ] everywhere . prominently around his pelvis , torso , & jaw . depends how busy he is , & if he allows it to grow out , it becomes more wavy & thick like a wolf's pelt . the hair on his head isn't immune to this either [  ;  ] long hair is a trait in his family .

⟐ sounds [  :  ]

is silent / makes little to no sounds | is very quiet | is very loud | grows in volume over time | bites hand / partner / pillow to muffle themselves | calls out partner’s name | curses | growls | fakes / exaggerates | prefers a quiet partner | prefers a loud / appropriately vocal partner | prefers a responsive partner | no preference towards partner’s volume | is turned on by dirty talk | is turned off by dirty talk

          ➤ depends really when it comes to vocally eliciting his sounds of pleasure . sett is very closed about his more intimate situations & insecurities rise up when he's being treated to feel good . his canines regularly click together when he's trying to stifle his noises , or his clamping his jaws down so hard , his claws rip the sheets into shreds . making any noise makes him feel like he's exposing himself .

⟐ turn ons [  :  ]

having their hands pinned | pinning their partner’s hands | having their hair pulled | pulling their partner’s hair | being watched ( by their partner ) | being watched ( by a third party ) | watching their partner | receiving oral | giving oral | calling their partner ‘daddy’ | being called ‘daddy’ | calling their partner ‘mommy’ | giving praise | receiving praise | biting / marking | being bitten / marked | spanking | being spanked | teasing | being teased | having toys used on them | using toys on their partner | giving anal | receiving anal | choking | being choked | dirty talk | being tied up | tying their partner up | being worshiped | worshiping their partner | humiliating | being humiliated | degrading | being degraded | being pegged | pegging their partner | being edged | edging

          ➤ i do believe sett likes to think he's open to experimentation , especially following the fact he has quite a bit of excess stamina from his heritage & bodily work outs . of course , it would boil down to massive trust at the end of the day .

tagging [  :  ] @windchaser

[runthepockets]

Saw a post on here a while ago that was asking why trans women tend to headcanon fictional men as trans women but trans dudes hardly headcanon fictional women as trans men. And tbh I think it's a bit of a mixed bag.

I think a decent amount of trans guys are still under this weird delusion that being a woman is inherently more interesting than being a man, because you "deal with more scrutiny all the time". It's a mentality I see echoed pretty casually in "passing discourse" and posts along the lines of "pre transition I was a cool and edgy gamer girl, now I'm a LAME DUMB BOY!!!!!" I think a lot of trans men just have a lot of self hatred that trans women kind of don't (not saying trans women don't deal with self esteem issues, but reckoning with your status as "an oppressor" is a very different experience from reckoning with your status as "on the receiving end of the bulk of gendered oppression").

At the same time, though, I feel like GNC men and GNC women are treated very differently. GNC women still get bullied and hazed by their peers, yeah, but we are also far enough in the gender sphere that "tomboys" are very much a thing and always have been. It's very normal to see women casually wearing pants, dawning short hair, skateboarding, playing video games, and all sorts of other "traditionally male" hobbies and presentation, sometime even after teenhood. They fought and advocated for themselves long enough that it's just, like, a thing girls do sometimes. Me personally, my mom played basketball and had an older brother, so I was pretty used to "masc women" growing up. When I see a girl at a Metal show wearing Pig Destroyer sweatpants and a tanktop, I don't think "transmasc egg" I think "oh wow cool, a girl who likes heavy music." I think most people feel it's very normal and possible for a woman or girl to not identify with her gender role, but still feel like a woman.

GNC men, comperatively, aren't really seen that way. A guy wearing a skirt out in public is still seen as "too far" for some people, we still have to debate over whether or not it's appropriate for little boys to play dolls. For all the dunking people do on "men with painted nails" and "real men wear pink", those decisions were kind of a big step for men to take. I mean, 20 years ago men were seen as gay or girly for simply wearing jeans that fit properly. Even amongst trans people, it's still pretty common to see GNC women as "some girl that likes wearing pants" and GNC men as "that weird faggot who's failing miserably at manhood". Again, it's not that GNC women have it any easier, but they do have more language and unity to combat the scurtiny, whereas GNC men don't because men just. Don't give a fuck about advocating for themselves and each other a lot of the time. Idk just shit to consider.

[grimm-tales-gamer]

Fallen Hero: Sidestep 5

1/4 of the way through my sidesteps so far lol, let’s go!

Name: Cynthia “Cyn” Graves

Gender: female she/her

Villain name: Hades

Villainous role: mob boss

Motivation: anger.. but that might change soon

Scar: outsider

Reason for gala: money

Where is she now?: whole, innocent, and free.

   Oh Cyn, she is a handful. In a good way. An absolute little shit that uses teasing, pranks, and jokes as a love language. She attaches herself to people quickly and yet likes to keep them at arms length. Almost like grabbing onto people at full arm extension, not letting them get closer but also not letting them go away.. but there are two people in particular who have gotten past that guard of hers. Her best friend Ricardo and recently Argent.

   There is an internet term that (unfortunately) can describe Cyn’s attraction compass, “battle sexual”. She likes feisty people who can keep up with her, both in a fight, as well as with her jabbing. Despite him being her best friend, Ricardo is attractive to her and they decided to give it a go romantically and see what happens (I swear I have sidesteps who aren’t in Ortega’s pants, please believe me, I am just weak). Eventually, as Hades, she flirted with Argent and when realizing she was flirting back pretty much went, “oh no! I didn’t plan this far!” But hey, it worked out during the auction just fine.

   She gets along with everyone at worst. She isn’t particularly prickly when compared to other sidesteps as long as the other can handle her jabbing and teasing. Steel though, he can really get under her skin. And she hates how much he’s right; she really wants to punch him in his face. They seem to have gotten on common ground now though.

   Cyn’s scar is healing up quite nicely I think. A mixture of therapy from being forced to interact with her coworker at the electronic store, Rosie, the rest of the mob crew, as well as actual therapy are letting her feel that she can belong again. She’s opening up in a big way she didn’t even as sidestep.

   Cyn does kill. However, it isn’t that often. When she kills it’s either: during a battle with other combatants or someone who “deserves” it (like a corrupt politician). This has lead to Ortega being afraid of her villain persona and even though she saves people, Chen believing she needs to be brought in. Argent tried to talk to her about her killing, but Cyn sort of shut down. Stating that “some people deserve to die”. However, she is willing to try to kill less. At least for Argent’s sake.

   Cyn’s end goal is to become powerful enough to be untouchable. To never be caught by the farm again. To do this, she needs to grow her villainous empire! She has to take Hollowground down and replace them with herself. After that, who knows. When she finally feels safe, she might change, feel less angry, less like a cornered animal. Her motivation, anger (or more appropriately fear), might change to life instead.

That was probably the happiest one so far. Let’s go over some fun facts:

Cynthia and Ortega really bonded and became friends over doing innocent pranks to Anathema.

Cyn wants to go to a carnival but is concerned over how her telepathy will react.

I could see her and Herald becoming really good friends with Herald due to Herald liking a bit of back and forth jabbing.

Cynthia also wants to replace Hollowground and become a… “softer” kingpin. She believes there have been a lot of unnecessary death and destruction under Hollowground’s rule of the city. Also, Cyn believes that the kingpin should take a more active role in keeping the city secure and profitable by fighting against the more violent and destructive villains.

Total head-canon but: Ricardo has a picture in his locker of Anathema giving Cynthia a piggyback ride while Cyn has a ballon sword. Both are in their hero outfits.

There’s a little rumor I heard that mob bosses will be naming their organization in book 3. So if we do, Cynthia’s organization is called “The Underworld”. Because of course it is.

Now to end with stats, armor, and appearance:

Cynthia is quite arrogant, sitting at around a 65%. She is more empathetic than ruthless, sitting around 55%. And she is daring, at around 75%. She prefers strength of mind over subtlety. Sitting at around the high 70s.

Type and appearance: imposing. Tall and built. The look resembles a blend of Ancient Greek with medieval plate armor. Engravings in the shape of battle scars are all over the armor in no exact pattern. The cloak is torn and battered looking (and Argent has it). The helmet resembles a hoplite helmet.

Add ons: armor and strength

Extra: she has a long sword to go with the armor.

Cynthia’s appearance:

Race: white

Height: medium, at around 5ft 8in (1.7m)

Hair: wavy black hair that used to be neat and styled in a part but now is chin length and is a bit wild due to her hair’s wavy nature.

Eyes: blue

Style: fashionable suits, slacks or skirts, usually no tie. She will wear different colored shirts but she usually wears the classic white shirt and black slacks/skirt and black blazer.

[artykyn]

When will you share that rant about Claire's and piercings? I am very invested

The Long Version

The Short(...er) Version:

Disclaimer: Most of my gripes apply to pretty much any shopping-mall piercing kiosk. Claire’s is not the ONLY place I have an issue with, they’re just the best known.

1. There are two main piercing methods: a hollow needle, or a piercing gun. Piercing guns are objectively in every way worse than a needle. But Claire’s, which uses the gun, markets it as “No Contact! 😃” and “Needle Free! 🥰” while failing to mention that also means it is a “Higher Infection Risk! 😉” and “More painful! 😇”

2. It’s okay to use cheap low-grade jewelry in a piercing that is already healed. But using low-grade metal in a fresh piercing increases your risk of healing and health problems (and can even put you at risk of developing metal allergies that will last the rest of your life!). Claire’s sells both cheap and high-grade metal, but fails to properly counsel customers on what metals are appropriate for a first piercing, and ultimately lets you pick whatever you’re willing to pay for. 

3. Claire’s employees are not professional piercers. They are retail workers with basic piercing training. Trusting them to give you good piercing advice and sell you appropriate products is like trusting a pet supply store cashier to give you good animal care advice and appropriate products. There are always better people to go to, and they might be more expensive, but ultimately, you are getting exactly what you pay for. Make your own choices, at your own risk.

4. General gripe about piercing culture: there are mothers out there who are so obsessed with enforcing gender roles that they will get their infant baby girl’s ears pierced. Piercings are a type of body modification and you should not be forcing that upon someone without their consent. Let your kid grow up and choose to have a piercing. It’s exciting to go out and get pierced! Why rob your child of that fun experience?

Piercings also are an open wound which needs special care, which babies do not comprehend, leaving them at high risk of accidental infection and even permanent scarring and disfiguration in some cases. A lot of professional piercers have age restrictions for this very reason. But Claire’s (among others, whom I take issue with) will gladly pierce your infant’s ears.

Having metal allergies is relatively common. Interestingly, the percentage of the population with metal allergies is noticeably skewed towards women. Gee.... perhaps it might be related to so many women getting cheap piercings in order to fulfill gender expectations.

[cryopathiic-a]

headcanon. love.

Love plays a pivotal part in Eternal Paradise religion. As a term, it is often used interchangeably with words such as 'compassion' or 'acceptance', but heavy emphasis is given on the romantic aspect of love. A union between lovers is considered exceptionally holy, as it often leads to the exercise of a unique human ability. The ability to create life.

From a demon's perspective, the ability to keep producing.

Although the cult is largely comprised of women, there is a percentage of men to match. ( of course with our modern day knowledge we would distinguish people of all genders in that slaughterhouse, but back then it was rather limited ) So by Taisho era, children had been born into the cult. And that was to Douma's favor for several reasons, apart from the renewed supply of flesh and lifeblood. As an example, Muzan, as a scientist, would have a much harder time obtaining human babies should the experiments require specific ingredients. It would also allow him to have ideal servants, indoctrinated from birth so that their minds could be entrusted to never hold doubt.

So, true to Douma's appointed tarot as The Hierophant, his role is to support the traditions of family and encourage the creation of it. And because it is a cult, boundaries are a little loose. The Lord Founder's influence seeps into every interpersonal relationship. Simply put, followers ask Douma for love advice, consider him a guru and follow his word when it comes to their own relationships. In fact, one of Douma's favorite activities in the cult is playing match-maker with the humans. When sometimes girls confess their feelings to him, he likes to redirect them towards one of the temple's men or advise them to enact their desires upon them instead. But he has long lost interest in engaging in anything other than that with them.

A part of Douma enjoys watching those bonds form. He lives vicariously through the relationships he, himself, is not capable of experiencing. And that's another, perhaps deeper, reason of why he is so active in his followers' lives. He has an idealized and rather immature take on love and tends to turn everything romantic with the same naivety a highschooler would. In his mind, he's very much the type to fall head over heels for someone, because in his mind he is someone sensitive and sweet.

But his reality is starkly different; in reality, Douma is a cold and callous person who cannot humble himself and get close to someone enough to love them. He doesn't know what love entails, because he has never known it. And the truest part of him, the one he makes sure to hide behind appropriate masks, is the part that does not believe love to exist. He tries hard to compensate for how deeply this notion runs in his veins.

A loveless child might grow up to be a hateful adult, after all.