#(chad immediately just gets in a fight with something in the woods)

[voidfell]

@thethiefsden asked for Chad for Wendy!

What the hell was wrong with this town, and why didn't the Kids Next Door have a sector here to deal with it? Gravity Falls was a pit stop on the unwanted family vacation that Chad was unwillingly a part of. His parents were supervillains, running out on them to do any work would only be a problem he didn't wanna deal with.

But the sheer number of weird things he'd just seen in that forest while his parents got scammed at that tourist trap made him contemplate sending an anonymous tip to Moonbase.

He slipped back inside, running a hand through his hair and pulling out his phone to make a note of it.

". . . Is that a unicorn made out of corn on the cob?"

[cobaltperun]

Lost (26) - Don't Let Go

Tara Carpenter x female Reader

Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Tara’s friends, you were Tara’s fierce protector, the MMA fighter who’d take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea you’d have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didn’t matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldn’t be able to survive.

Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics

Chapter warning: very brief, and in no way graphic smut, specifically being very clear that’s what’s happening, but nothing explicit.

Word count: 3.5k

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-Don't let go of the things you believe in, you give me something that I can believe in-

The safehouse was actually a kinda small cabin in the woods, equipped with necessities, with a living area that counted as bedroom and kitchen, and a relatively small bathroom. You almost found the small living space nostalgic when you walked in with Tara and Chad and saw Mindy and Anika there. You haven’t seen them, well for more than a few tense minutes, since you all celebrated Tara’s pregnancy about two months ago, but it felt like it happened so long ago.

Mindy and Anika immediately stood up, crossing the distance between the three of you and them quicker than ever before as the two women hugged Tara.

“God, Tara, don’t scare us like that again,” Mindy complained, though her voice cracked at the end, filled with worry and fear over Tara’s safety.

Tara nodded, though you could see the tension in her shoulders, so you as subtly as you could placed a hand on her back, and she visibly relaxed, leaning into Mindy’s hug knowing you were right there with her. You were gone for almost four weeks, and for some of that time Tara didn’t know where you were or if you were even alive, and touch was always the preferred way you two expressed love for one another. So, you understood her need to have you touching her at all times.

“Okay, we get it,” Anika laughed, noticing your hand. “Go, go,” she stepped back, pulling Mindy with her and Tara chuckled, but still took your hand.

You smiled at her, squeezing her hand lightly before rubbing the back of her hand with your thumb as she leaned onto you from the side.

Anika grinned and approached you. “Hey, Y/N, welcome back,” she gave you a quick, but firm hug, and you eagerly returned it with one arm. You’ve seen Chad and Mindy before, but Anika went to buy groceries and wasn’t there in the brief few minutes you spent with the twins. Well, spent wasn’t exactly the right way to word those few minutes. You were so focused on rescuing Tara you barely gave them a hug, let alone anything else. They understood, they were worried about Tara too, and you were fury incarnate at the time.

“What about your careers?” Tara suddenly asked, worried that the same thing that happened to you might happen to her friends as well.

“We aren’t fighting Ghostface directly, we’ll be fine,” Chad assured her. Not that it mattered, from what Kirby told you, they all came the moment they heard Danny was dead and Tara was captured, ready to rush in the moment someone found any hint as to where Tara was. Luckily, you got released, so they didn’t have to do that, and thus, their careers were fairly safe. Any case against them could be argued against by saying they didn’t go looking for a fight and were instead just looking out for their pregnant friend.

“Kirby still won’t let us get involved directly. I hate to say it, but the best we can do is stay here and help guard you two,” Anika sighed, sitting down at the table with Mindy and Chad while you and Tara went to the fridge.

“That’s for the better, I don’t want anyone else to die,” Tara nodded, perfectly fine with this. She didn’t want to carry anymore guilt over dead friends, and you didn’t want that either. For her, or yourself.

“Tara, maybe you should stay out of this as well,” Mindy suggested tentatively.

It’s not that you didn’t agree with Mindy on this, you’d be far happier if Tara sat this one out, but you also knew that was wishful thinking. As if Mindy didn’t know Tara wouldn’t leave Sam to deal with the entire cult alone. “I have to get Sam back,” that was where all the arguments ended for her, as long as Sam was involved, so was she.

“You heard the lady,” you pulled out eggs and milk from the fridge and placed them next to the flour, vegetables and everything else you needed for an omelet. You didn’t want to give Tara anything too heavy, but eggs were an absolute must given the last few days. Tara grabbed the plates and forks while you chopped up the vegetables, mostly bell peppers and tomatoes. You looked calm, preparing food for you and Tara, since Chad, Mindy and Anika chose not to eat, with practiced ease. On the inside, however, you were debating on whether or not you should say anything about Sam being the one to lure you into the trap, you glanced at Tara, leaning into your side with her eyes closed and chose against it. Especially when Tara moved behind you and hugged you as tightly as she could while pressing her cheek against your back. She was already tense and worried as it was, adding on that Sam was directly involved in your arrest would only make things worse. You’d handle that with Sam, and if you could make sure Tara never finds out, you would do that in a heartbeat.

All five of you heard a car stopping in front of the cabin, but no one looked worried, Kirby was supposed to come anyway, and sure enough, when the doors opened it wasn’t that masked killer, but Kirby at the doors. Tara moved back to your side, happy to see Kirby again, though not enough to actually separate from you. “Congratulations on the twins, Tara, Y/N!” she smiled, approaching and patting the two of you on your shoulders.

Tara smiled, her hand instinctively going for her stomach. “Thanks, Kirby,” she said.

Neither of you still wrapped your minds around having twins, you were getting ready for one child, not two, but you certainly weren’t complaining. Now you just wondered if Tara would want a second pregnancy or if twins would be the end of it. Personally, you were fine with either option, you’d raise as many children as Tara wanted with her, and you could certainly afford it. It came down to Tara’s wishes, especially since she was the one pregnant.

“Okay, I won’t take too much of your time, you need to rest, and I need to take,” she turned to the trio at the table. “You three back to the hotel,” which was perfectly reasonable, this place wasn’t nearly big enough for all five of you and with you there Tara didn’t need extra protection. “But first we need to go over the plan,” she said, mostly looking at you.

“Sure,” you finished preparing the omelets and set them on the table before sitting down with Tara on your lap and arms wrapped protectively around her.

~X~

Two hours later, with just the two of you left in the cabin, you were lying on the bed, fresh from the shared shower and ready to sleep. Well, Tara would sleep, you trusted Kirby, but you weren’t taking that risk. Still, Tara was being adorably stubborn tonight, lying on your right side, but refusing to fall asleep just yet. Her finger lazily drawing circles of different sizes all over your abs, though underneath your shirt. Her head was tucked beneath your chin, and she occasionally kissed your neck.

You missed this so much, her weight on top of you, her kisses, her touches, the smell of her perfume, soft so it wouldn’t trigger her asthma, the softness of her hair, her beautiful eyes, and adorable freckles and every little or big thing about her. You just so desperately missed her these past weeks. You guessed that was a part of the reason why you weren’t sleeping tonight, you wanted to bask in her presence, let it release all the tension and stress from your body the way only Tara ever could. You needed her just as much as she needed you, having woken up on most nights to dreams of Tara vanishing from your arms.

“I was so terrified without you,” she mumbled, moving her hand to hug you. In turn, you held her a bit tighter as well, just letting her speak, just letting her let it all out while providing her with as much safety as you possibly could.

Tara hummed, appreciating the soft expressions of love. “I felt so lost, so helpless when I found out you weren’t in jail, and that Ghostface had you. They sent that picture, I knew it wasn’t you, but I still so desperately wanted to see you again, to find you, to be in your arms again,” she paused, swallowing hard and fighting back tears. “And Danny died because of that.”

What could you possibly tell her? If they didn’t go to the warehouse maybe this could have been avoided, but you also knew that likely wasn’t the truth. Given how many Ghostfaces there were they were bound to be found, and maybe Tara would have been even worse off if she was captured under different circumstances. “We’ll avenge him,” you chose to say that. Though, deep down you were thankful Tara was fine. In a perfect world they both would have lived, in a perfect world none of this would have happened in the first place. It wasn’t a perfect world though, and you’d grieve a fallen friend, you’d regret not being able to return the favor and save him, and you’d remember him for the rest of your life, just like how you’d remember Gale, Wes, Judy and Liv, just like how you’d remember Dewey’s sacrifice, even if you never got the chance to actually meet the man.

At the same time, you’d forever be grateful that Tara made it out alive.

“And Sam? God, what is she thinking?” the frustration laced Tara’s voice. “Why didn’t she tell us anything? To protect us? Fuck that!” she was angry at Sam for leaving again, no matter the reason and you resolved to bring Sam back even if you had to drag her out of there by force. She better be ready to apologize until she was out of breath to Tara, and then some.

“We’ll get her back, Love, and then you can scold her,” you kissed the top of Tara’s head and just let the silence take over for a few minutes, just relishing in the warmth of each other’s body. Tara’s breathing evened out, but her eyes remained open, and she kept drawing those shapes on your abs.

Eventually, seeing that Tara said what was on her mind you opened up a bit as well. “You are the only reason I stayed sane in that cell. I just thought of coming back to you and our baby,” you smiled, placing your left hand on her belly. “Well, babies, but I couldn’t know,” you loved the small laugh Tara let out, just enough to tell you she was happy despite the conversation.

Tara placed her hand over yours. “You feel that you two? I told you mom would come back,” she looked you in the eyes and in the darkness lit only by dim light of a bedside lamp, you found yourself lost in her eyes.

“I’ll always come back to you, to our family,” and you’d keep that promise regardless of how many masked killers stood between you and Tara and your kids.

“I know,” she moved, getting on top of you and kissing your lips. “Baby,” she whispered, her hands roaming from your abs, all the way to your head. Her fingers caressing your cheeks, lips, neck, running through your hair as she took several deep breaths. And you found yourself unable to resist her, you slid your left hand underneath her shirt, caressing her back while your right hand cupped her cheek, and you tilted her chin up so you could kiss her once more. Her lips pressed against yours, tongues dancing, pushing against one another as the warmth of her skin sent goosebumps through your entire body. Too soon you separated for air, and Tara just looked you in the eyes.  “This isn’t a dream, right? I’m not going to wake up all alone?” your eyes widened when you saw tears in her eyes, the stress, the pregnancy messing up with her hormones, you knew she was bound to be more emotional, you were actually more surprised she was only bringing it up now and not even sooner.

You could only sit up and gently move both of you until you got on top of her. Though you were extra careful of the small bump on her stomach. You wiped the tears off her cheeks, and kissed her, much deeper than you did the entire night, letting all your love for her, all the missed moments fit into the kiss, all the passion, all the unrestrained desire both of you felt, it all had to fit into a kiss, because you weren’t safe enough for anything else.

~X~

It wasn’t a dream. It couldn’t be a dream, not with how you were kissing her. The dreams were always filled with either the words of reassurance, breaking her heart again and again when she woke up from them without you next to her or with apologies before you disappeared, leaving her alone in the dream as well. And no matter the kind of dream she could never move you, she could never get to kiss you no matter how hard she tried, your lips just kept evading her in those dreams. This was different, this was you and more, the firmness of your muscles under her fingertips, the warmth radiating even through the shirt you were wearing. The smell she tried to find in your clothes, mixed with soap that didn’t smell like the one you preferred to use, the combination she couldn’t have dreamed of. The muffled moan when she pulled you closer, pressing your bodies together, so familiar but filed with so much longing, caused by the separation neither of you willingly accepted.

No, it wasn’t a dream. It couldn’t be a dream. And it wasn’t safe, but she needed you. “Please, I need you so bad,” she moaned, and you froze, once again proving to her this wasn’t a dream.

“Tara, it’s too risky,” but the way you clenched the sheets, restraining yourself for the sake of keeping her safe gave you away.

She knew how risky it was, how vulnerable both of you would be, but she was desperate for release, desperate for your touch, your lips, all of you. Desperate to feel more of you, even though she spent almost the entirety of the shower pressed up against you. She had a way to get you to do it though, a word she used to be so embarrassed by, but eventually embraced the power it gave her. “Please, Daddy,” she smiled when you groaned, burying your face in her neck.

“You’re impossible,” but you were kissing her neck. “You only get one,” you warned, definitively and she accepted it.

She relaxed, giving all control over her body to you, only moving to give you better access. You built her up and made her come undone, everything else faded away, because you were with her and that made her feel loved, safe, protected, and all she could feel was your touch, the muscles flexing as you indulged in her body, the warmth, the wetness, the moans she couldn’t even try to hold back… She felt your hands on her bare skin, underneath her shirt, lifting up her bra as you kissed any bit of her skin you could reach. She cried out, begging for you to do anything you wanted, as long as you didn’t stop touching her. And you did, you stripped her completely bare for you to see, touch and kiss and she shivered, not from the cold but from the sensation of your breath cooling her burning skin as you went lower. And she came undone within minutes of you taking her, she came, moaning and sighing in content and aftermath of the sensation, basking in your love and warmth as you kissed up her body and captured her lips once again.

Grinning into the kiss, you pulled away and kissed her belly a few times, an even number of times, before coming back up and hugging her, letting her come down from her high while pressing butterfly kisses to her neck.

She relaxed once again, letting you clean her up before she got dressed once again. Satisfied she snuggled against you, smiling when you hugged her. And she fell asleep just like that, in your arms, safe and sound.

~X~

The realization that you weren’t a dream, or even your arms wrapped around her, they didn’t chase the nightmares away and even if she knew it was a nightmare, she still couldn’t wake up.

The red drops dripping down, Faster and faster, hitting the ground as if they weighed a thousand pounds and then the rest of the picture came into view. Your body, still, covered in blood, fresh from your fight with Thomas.

“She lost too much blood! We’re losing her!” the doctor yelled as Tara felt like she was being dragged away, unable to touch you, to cry out for you, to get you to wake up like you did outside of her nightmare. No, she was forced to watch from an ever-increasing distance as the sounds of blood dripping slowed down, turning eventually into heartbeat that was slowing down and filling her with dread until it completely disappeared.

“We lost her. Y/N L/N is dead,” the hollow voice declared and the only thing keeping Tara from abruptly sitting up were your arms. She still screamed, startling you awake from the sleep you couldn’t fight against.

You looked around, frantically searching for Ghostface, even if you were aware of her uneven breathing. Certain that you were still alone you handed Tara her inhaler. “That nightmare again?” you asked, already pulling her closer until she was lying on top of you and grounding her with your touch and the beat of your heart, steady and strong underneath her ear.

Tara nodded, not really trusting her voice.

“Oh, Love,” you let out a deep sigh, likely understanding just how many times Tara woke up over the past weeks from that same nightmare, only without you to ground her after it.

Tara wasn’t the only one with nightmares, you often woke up, once again dreaming about Zack and Susan, but they weren’t as regular as they used to be, nowadays, at least before captivity and as far as Tara knew you were down to once or twice a month. They would likely come back again, after this was over, but you’d both get through it.

You always did.

Tonight, this would all end, but until it happened, she wouldn’t let go of you unless she absolutely had to. And given how close you were holding her, you had no intention of letting go either.

~X~

The night came, the final confrontation, the end of the nightmare, everything would end tonight. At this harbor. “Really? A harbor? Of all the places? What? Is this going to turn into some cheesy action movie where we jump off a boat and swim back to safety?” you said mostly to ease some tension. Tara and Kirby were by your side, the plan was simple. Tara and Kirby would take one side and you’d take another. Find Sam, get her out of there, and then the police could take over.

“Are you two ready?” Kirby asked, this time giving the two of you a gun each.

“Yes,” Tara nodded, feeling the weight of the firearm in her hands. She hasn’t shot anyone since Amber, all those years ago, but that weight was nothing compared to how worried she was for you.

“I can handle it, I won’t make the same mistake this time,” you reassured her, though the silenced pistol really felt like it weighed twice as much as you did. The weapon, the day you nearly used the one belonging to your father flashed in front of your mind. Back then, Tara was the one that brought you back, and you didn’t need anyone to bring you back from the brink of death this time. But she was still the motivation you needed, because firing the gun might mean keeping Tara and your children safe, and you’d do that.

“Let’s go then,” Kirby opened the doors of the abandoned building turned base of operation for the cult. This was it.

There was no going back.

Story masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

Taglist: @alexkolax

[sharkface-daydreams]

No, but, OK- Chilchuck and Church would literally be that joke of not liking each other until the moment they both tell everybody else to shut up at the same time and they share a moment- "We are the same... finally, somebody who GETS me". Tex is legit impressed with the union work Chilchuck has set up, she wants to get in on this, does he need a bodyguard?

Laios and Caboose are vibing. Laios also thinks Locus is So Cool, and they're both socially inept in opposite ways, but in the sense that it kinda fits together.

Tucker is over there trying to hit on Marcille and Falin, no need to be jealous ladies, plenty of him to go around, and he'd never want to ruin such a great friendship, just gals being pals. Kai is also flirting by she Knows.

Grif wants Senshi to adopt him (and Senshi is 100% cool with that, this poor boy is so hungry), and he has to ask Simmons- "Dude, is this how you feel about Sarge? Like, all the time?". Simmons is trying to math-hack all the fantasy rules.

Carolina just killed a dragon (what, like it's hard?). Wash is like- "Well, at least nothing is gonna run over me here in wacky magic land", and then the first car in this world ever hits him. Doc is having a FUN time learning about all the weird flora and fauna here, O'Malley is already trying to become some combination of dark wizard/necromancer (but he's not good at it).

Donut meets Evil Aslan, and is just- "OK, I'm just gonna skip ahead and kill you right now. I've been through this song and dance with demon-gods, I know how it goes".

Lopez can eat living armor. like, just "raw" or whatever.

There. RVB-Dungeon Meshi crossover. I got that out of my system

ok it's still airing so my watch buddy won't watch with me yet and i have yet to sit and read the manga so im taking notes

chilchuck is a chad, got it.

caboose immediately gets a new friend, that tracks XD <3 love that for him

simmons is me in an isekai, i hate this, thank you <3

of COURSE carolina kills a dragon. of course <3 i love that for her ('what like it's hard?' elle woods has done so much for this world thank u goddess 🙏) but wash omg 😭⚰ it would happen to him. someone invents THEE first like motorized soap box derby car and itjust fuckin. smashes his kneecaps and keeps going RIP king 🙏

i love. i love all of this. question for you though. i love the implications of Lopez eating living armor raw which i know nothing about. does this count as cannibalism do you think? or do you think lopez sees himself as the ghost within the shell, separate from his armor? (or do you hc there's an android in the armor? :o i do when it's convenient for fic alsdkjflkfd)

also. this makes me think of something i want to share finally. (ill put under a cut bc adding 13 pics is a lot)

a long time ago when this picrew was first available (it's only patreon now i think? ppl kept stealing the assets💢 and such so the artist got understandably mad and took it off picrew site :( i made... RVB RPG PORTRAITS!!!! (they still have an rpg maker one but its very different)

also dont kill me but its taken me 3 years to realise i didn't make tex 😭

Red Team:

Blue Team: (had to put Church between them or they'd fight ☺)

And the mercs <3

[m34gs]

😊😊😊😊 Hello!!!!!

Got a little (hopefully not too weird) question for ya:

Let's turn back the clock and human verse it. Middle ages, maybe fantasy setting (you choose) but, what trades do you think Ichigo/and or Grimmjow would work at? Blacksmithing? Mason? Farmer? Court musician? Something completely different? Would it be more fantastical? I know in the mythical au you wrote about Grimmjow being a dragon slayer--would it build off that or are you thinking of separate/different au?

What are your thoughts? I'm a sucker for this time period, or something like it anyway.

How would they meet? Does ichigo work with others or does he have a more solitary job?

How would they meet? Does Aizen play a factor in this senario at all? Who else is in this au? I hope this all makes sense lol

🧡💙🧡💙 Have a good night!!!💙🧡💙🧡

Hi there friend! This isn't a weird concept at all; I love it! Thank you so much for asking me this!!!!!!

Ok, so! I am a sucker for fantasy, so I absolutely would put them in a fantasy setting! Very much love that. As for occupations and casting...welll...

Grimmjow would be a foot-soldier. Some stupid rule says you have to be nobility to be a knight (I know it's cliché, but I'm a bit of a sucker for those kinds of rules that seem pointless, I find them very relatable to today's society) and he was born to a poor family who basically sent him off to be fodder for the enemy because it meant they would get rewarded with one less mouth to feed. He doesn't have a strong sense of 'family' or 'trust'. To him, the only one he can trust is the sword in his hand, and even then he knows better than to think it would never cut him. He ends up being ruthless and surviving because of his lack of trust in others and his will to spite the family that cast him out. Aizen is a noble of some kind, and he sees Grimmjow's potential so he takes him in, keeps him, trains him like the other knights he's collected, only Grimmjow doesn't get that title because of that stupid law. This drives a wedge between him and the knights Aizen trains and keeps (I'm thinking this is where I would cast the other arrancar).

Aizen is well-respected among the other nobles (because he lies. You know, like a liar. lol sorry I needed to throw that meme reference in there). But, anyway, for the other nobles I would cast most of the captains of the Soul Society. They have varying degrees of wealth but the fact remains they are all still nobles.

Now, for Ichigo...his family lives in woods that are allegedly haunted/cursed. (spoiler, it's just them and some windchimes and various illusions/traps they've set up over the years to keep the nobles out and protect the forest from being deforested). His mother is a witch (that's right, 'is'. Because in this AU? She's alive and well because I said so :D lol), and his father is a farmer who fell in love with her. Ichigo and his sisters inherited some of their mother's magic and she taught them how to use it.

Aizen is on a journey, bringing with him Grimmjow and a couple others for protection. On the way, they are robbed by clever thieves(Kisuke Urarhara and Yoruichi), and Grimmjow is tasked to track them down and reclaim what was stolen. He goes after them and follows them to the haunted forest, because of course they are friends with Isshin and Masaki.

This is where Grimmjow stumbles upon Ichigo. And mistakes him for one of the thieves. He attacks and Ichigo promptly kicks his ass because he has the home field advantage. Then, when the misunderstanding gets slightly cleared up, Ichigo feels guilty for wounding Grimmjow, but the boy's healing magic is absolute shite (his mother tries to teach him, she really does, but he's always been better at other kinds of magic). So he brings Grimmjow to his mother. And wouldn't you know it, Masaki is just so darn happy her son has brought home a man because LOOK ISSHIN OUR BOY HAS A FRIEND AND MAYBE EVEN A HUSBAND. And Isshin is right there with her, eagerly talking about how strong Grimmjow looks and how he can protect their boy. And Ichigo is like excuse me protect me? I kicked his ass? And then he gets a scolding because kicking asses is rude. And Grimmjow is wondering what the fuck is wrong with these people.

I think in this AU, Orihime would be a member of Unohana's household, learning how to heal, much to the dismay of her parents and older brother. (Fun fact: the first people to work as nurses in hospitals? The poor, the prostitutes, the lame, the disabled, the beggars. It was a job that was looked down upon and considered one of the lowest of the low positions. Which is why it was a big deal when noble ladies started going into the profession. People were scandalized.) Unohana is one of the less well-off nobles, but she doesn't care so much because she uses what wealth she did inherit from her family to heal others.

Chad is the blacksmith. Hands down. He is the best around. Tall, strong, silent, and he does quality work. Regardless of the fact he's not a noble, he is very well off because nobles from all around are willing to pay good money for his work.

Uryu is a scholar, studying anything he can find that's interesting. He's studying under Mayuri, though he secretly thinks the man is a freak. And Mayuri does all sorts of experiments on all sorts of people (there's no ethics board in this time, you see. Anything and everything is legal when it comes to the pursuit of knowledge, as long as you have enough money to buy off the right people).

Kenpachi is the battle-crazed lord, and the only nobility who knows of the Kurosaki's living in the forest. He was wandering around one day, bored out of his mind, when he happened across Ichigo and his sisters in the forest. Ichigo immediately goes into protective big-bro mode, and Kenpachi doesn't wanna clear up any misunderstanding if it means he can have a fight instead. He doesn't tell anyone; partially because Ichigo was the best opponent he has ever had, and partially because he doesn't care enough about the other nobles to have conversations beyond the usual 'how are you' 'I am well' exchange. Actually, you know, Kenpachi's entire household knows of the family in the woods (they like to prove their courage so many of them had ventured into the woods that were 'haunted'.) but because Kenpachi tells no one, they also tell no one.

Byakuya, in a twisted turn of events, is the only captain who is not a noble. He is a merchant. His trade? Silk. And he still carries himself with grace and looks down on others, but this time it's because he and his ancestors literally clawed their way out of the ranks of the poor by being cutthroat businessmen. He still adopts Rukia as his younger sister when he finds her, after his wife perishes. Renji is a mercenary hired to protect Rukia, and he is totally in love with Byakuya.

These are my thoughts! What do you think? Anything you would add? Do you have more ideas for other characters and the roles they could play in this au?

[thy-lover]

Jason Voorhees - I still love you...

Jason meets his childhood best friend again, who he also still has a crush on....

Warnings: Smut, slightly angsty, fluff, depiction of alcohol and murder and mentions of self harm.

"We are going to camp crystal lake, dude, There's no discussion on that!" Jake yelled at his friend group who were currently fighting over where to take their summer vacation.

You walked in the living room with the beer they ordered for you to get. You passed one to Rachel who pathetically snatched it and told you to get the fuck out of her sight, just before you were going to pass on to Chad you froze upon hearing the words 'Camp Crystal Lake'.

"Hello? Earth to y/n, you were about to pass me that beer." He pointed at the beer held in your hands, that were trembling. You handed it to him but turned to Jake.

"um.... Jake I don't know if that's a good idea...." You said as your heart pumped fast.

"why? afraid of a little legend?" He smirked and helped himself to a bottle of beer.

you sat down on the side of the couch farthest away from them "No it's just, pretty much all the teens who decided to camp there gone missing, I just don't want us to see the same fate." The small girl looked down at her lap, they can't know, is all that ran threw her mind. The teens that sat on the same couch she was on went silent, what you said was true, they only shivered at the thought.

Jake laughed "oh c'mon y/n, that's all apart of the stupid legend of Jason Voorhees!" He laughed and the others shoulder Began to relax again. You shook gently, that name, the name that made your heart clench. The name that made you hurt inside.

"There is a legend around camp crystal lake, there was a kid who was drowned in the lake because the counselors killed him. When his mom came back, she was so mad she killed the counselors but got murdered herself. Due to this the vengeful spirit of the kid came back to life and kills anyone who comes on the camp!" He definitely scared his friends, but you just shook rocking back an forth. Y/n knew the real story.

the next day they forced you to go on the trip with them, but you didn't want to, camp crystal lake was supposed to be forgotten about in your mind.

You glanced down at your clothing "baby blue, his favorite color.." you smiled gently.

"huh?" Jake said not hearing you he turned to look at you "damn y/n, you look fuckin hot cant wait to get there." Jake gave you a disgusting smirk.

The moment you arrived at the camp you weren't sure what to do, the sign that said 'Camp Crystal Lake' was just how you remembered it, if you look past the paint that is slowing chipping away. All the sudden a suppressed flash back hit you.

- The young girls head was out of the car, waiting for that yellow 'Camp Crystal Lake' sign to appear, she grinned widely and hoped out of the car and running to her best friend "Jason! Jason!" Screamed an overly excited little girl who was around the age of six. "Y/n!!" The young boy who was around seven yelled back. They met in the middle and embraced each other in a tight hug, jumping up and down.

"Jason I missed you so–" she was cut of.

"y/n you forgot your bag!" The young girls mother screamed from the window if the car.

"hold on mommy, I'm talking to Jason!" The girl screamed back, a older woman came walking towards the two of you, her shoes picking a little bit if the forest floor up.

"y/n!? You've gotten taller since the last time we talked." The woman smiled as she embraced her son's bestfriend in her arms.

"it's only been 4 months Pammy." The young girl smiled up at her.

"Y/N! HERE! NOW! I HAVE TO GET TO WORK!" The screams of her mother calling from the car.

- flashback ends

You hoped out of the car walking past the old crystal lake sign and into the area where her friends are, Chad's in the middle of talking his jeans off, revealing his bare ass because he had no underwear. The moment this happened you turned away quickly.

"Join us y/n!" Jake yelled towards you but you shook your head an walked away. "I'll set up the fire, you guys can continue, well, doing whatever it is you're doing..." You said waving your hands in the air.

Jason's P.O.V

'y/n' Jason thought as he watched the woman in a blue dress, he knew you, and even as he watched the woman's frame go back into the suv he madly hoped you were her, you were 'y/n' , his savior, his protector, his crush.... Just then a flashback came back to his head.

-

"Hey assholes leave him alone now!" The girl yelled to Jason's bullies.

The boy who kicked Jason now stood facing you he smirked "yea and what the hell are you going to do about it monster lover!" He taunted the girl. 'monster lover, that's what they called her for being Jason's friend.'

Her smooth hands curled into a fist, "Your the monster here John!" The young girl yelled.

"oh shut up and go play with your dolls!" The bully yelled back at her and all the other kids around him laughed at her.

A flash of rage came over the girl who Jason had the biggest crush on, the girl picked up a small rock and hurdled it at the older boy who was bullying Jason, the stone hit right on the center of his forhead. He fell over and started crying like a baby. She took the chance and ran to Jason grabbing his arm and running away from the other kids.

She ran until she was far enough to be out of sight. And she hid behind a big tall tree, the tree they made a 'blood oath' at.

Jason panted sitting on the forest floor letting his back lean on the tree.

"thank you y/n, you saved me again." Jason beamed up at her. She smiled down at the sitting boy, Jason took a moment to admire her smile. Everything about her to him was perfect. Her pretty smile her big e/c eyes, he just loved her even though he was way to young to understand what love was he knew he felt something for her that was strong.

"anytime Jason, those guys a cowards. " She said grabbing his hands and holding him tightly. He blushed at her and she smiled at his cuteness.

"you are to cute jae." he blushed even harder but his gaze left her when he heard the counselors. they peaked there heads out from either side of the tree and seeing the counselors crouching down at the boy who was clutching his head.

"we sure got him didn't we Jason?" He nodded and chuckled.

-flash back ends

How could she have thought I was cute.

3rd person p.o.v

Y/n walked towards the suv and pulled out a bouquet of Lily's and sunflower. She looked down at the flowers and smiled sadly.

She closed the door and walked away from the group further in the woods. After walking for a little while she stumbled on the big oak tree, each day her and Jason would wrap there arms to the tree to see if they're arms grew. She chuckled at the memory.

She kneeled down to the roots of the tree and laid the flowers down, if you looked very closely at the bottom of the tree you can see two small smudges of blood overlapping each other and above it there are letters that are carved into it sloppily "Jason and y/n bff forever" she smiled again at it, this was apparently what her younger self considered a blood oath.

"Pamela Voorhees, it's been a while since I said that name aloud hasn't it?" Y/n chuckled. "I brought you Lily's Ms. Voorhees, I know they're your favorite." She said looking up at the sky which sh hopes is where Pamela is.

A loud cry broke out from her mouth "a-and I brought s-sunflowers J-ja-jason's favorite..." Jason the name of her crush, Jason the name of the boy she loved, Jason the name of the boy who drowned.

"I'm so so s-sorry I wasn't there f-for you jae, I could've tried to save you....if my mom hadn't taken me on that business trip then maybe I could've been here to protect y-you!" The cries from the woman became louder. "I'm sorry jae, it was all my fault that I left, maybe I could've save you.... I thought that maybe if I came just one more time I could finally forgive myself for leaving you... I could finally live with the fact that you're gone....I could finally love myself but I was wrong!" Y/n sniffled.

"goodbye Jason, I'll love you forever..." She leant her lips down and kisses the harsh etching that had Jason's name on it.

Y/n cried there a little longer before she heard scream. She picked her head up a little and sniffled, the girl got on her feet and ran towards the screams.

The moment y/n got back to the camp she saw nothing but blood everywhere and her 'friends' all dead, she stumbled on her feet backing away from the scene, she was about to scream but a large hand wrapped around her mouth and she was pressed against a strong chest.

Y/n fought the hold of the stranger not wanting to have the same fate as her acquaintances. That was until she saw a bloody knife raised to her, she immediately blacked out.

...

The next time y/n woke up she was in an old bed in one of the cabins. Her eyesight was dizzy but it finally focused and she looked around the room, the moment she realized where she was she put a hand over her mouth.

"Jason's bedroom..." The moment the words fell from her lips she screamed out a loud cry, maybe if she dies know she can finally be with Jason. The moment ended at that thought the door was swung open and a large man in a hockey mask looked around the room quickly, when his eyes landed on you he calmed and took a step closer.

You couldn't believe how tall he was, his head was basically touching the cabins roof, his large frame was covered in jeans and a jacket, his feet were in boots that looked like it didn't fit him.

He tried to take another step toward you but you backed up in fear "w-who are you?" You said weekly.

He only took another step closer "please don't kill me!" You cried out to the man who was already right at the bed side because of his long strides.

As you cried all he did was pick his hand up to your face and palm your tear stained cheek.

"please tell me who you are?" You asked trying to move his hand but failing. He took his hand off from your cheek and pointed towards the headboard that had the word "Jason V." Into the hard oak.

"Jason V?" You sniffled, he nodded eagerly ready for you to realize who he was.

"I'm sorry but I dont know who you are mr...please just let me go I won't tell anyone." He huffed then pulled out his machete, you shrieked and closed your eyes ready to die, but instead of the machete impaling your stomach, you heard carving near your ear.

You opened your eyes and realised he was scratching something in the headboard.

Once he finished he urged you to look at it, "V-Voor-hees? ... Jason Voorhees?" Your eyes widened in shock and he nodded eagerly.

"no...no Jason drowned to death, that's impossible!" You said unable to believe what he was saying, all he did was stiffen and shake his head signaling a no.

"Fine prove it!?" You yell, it was cruel for someone to mess with others mind.

He pulled his sleeve up revealing the name "y/n" carved on his wrists. A gasp slipped from your lips, you pulled your own sleeve up and on your wrist there was a scar that wrote "Jason".

You looked into his eyes seeing desperation and hurt, "is it.. is it really you?" You whispered.

Jason nodded grabbing a hold of your hand, you reluctantly held back feeling his rough large hands, the moment you held his had you felt a shock run from each other's finger tips. It was the same feeling you felt when you first held Jason's hand when you two were younger.

"it's really you!" Catching Jason by surprise you jumped up and hugged him tightly, it took him a while to get used to your touch but he returned the hug by picking you up and swinging you around in the air.

You laughed with a mixture of happy tears, this was the reunion that Jason only thought about in his dreams, but this was real and he knew it.

He set you down on the cabin floor gently.

"look at you Jason.." you smiled at him just then Jason felt his insecurities come back, 'did you not like him anymore.'

"all grown up into a big strong man, so handsome just as I remember you." He blushed at you, this what he remembers about you, you always knew what to say and you always boosted his confidence.

He looked down at you and his un beating heart stopped, this whole time he forgot to admire you. Your hair was a beautiful flowing h/c it was a little bit darker than he remembered it to be. Your body filled out into a very beautiful women. He subconsciously let his eyes fall to your breasts which definitely got larger, his eyes followed to the curves of your hips, your ass being hugged by the blue dress. he looked at your face to admire it. Beautiful e/c eyes, beautiful plump pink lips, your entire facial structure was amazing. Sometimes he wonders what you saw in him, your beauty couldn't compare to the entire world, and that was a fact. He felt something inside him warm up, as he looked at your body.

"we have a lot of talking to do." You dragged him to the kitchen and started up the questioning.

As you cleaned your childhood home starting from the kitchen, to its floors to the bathroom, to the bedrooms to the porch, he followed you everywhere writing answers down on the notebook you gave him. He wrote how hes still alive, he wrote why he kills, he wrote what really happened to him an he wrote everything you didn't know down.

When the questioning was all done you sat him down in the kitchen and cleaned him up, he was super dirty and then you urged him to the shower to get off all the dirt in crevasses you knew were to embarressing to clean yourself. You took his laundry and put it in the hamper for tomorrows laundry.

When you came back he had a fluffy towel wrapped around his waist, the towel was way to small for someone of his size.

"hey jae so I was wondering-" you looked up and your breath was caught in your throat.

There Jason was, your childhood crush standing in front of you with just a towel around his waist, his muscular arms were big, his thick and strong thighs were dripping with water and his muscular core was ripped.

You blushed hard and slowly walked backwards only to bump into the bathroom door closing it.

You immediately turned around and tried to open the door, your hands were shaking and sweating it didn't help that there was steam from the hot shower Jason took on the knob.

"well i- uh I was j-just go-going to uh-" Jason took a step forward and held you by the waist bring him close to you, his large hand wrapped around the door handle, once the door was opened you freed from his grip.

You internally screamed at yourself as you practically ran to your old spare bedroom.

As you walked in you slammed the door, but instead of hearing the door slam you just heard it creek. You turned around slowly and realized Jason was walking towards you.

Jason looked at your red face with worry 'is y/n sick? Is y/n hurt? Is y/n scared' he didn't understand why you were acting like this.

"j-jason hi um..." As he took a step forward you took a step back.

"s-sorry if yo-your looking f-for your c-clothes I um I put t-them in the h-hamper so I could w-wash them." Your face literally couldn't get redder like It was physically impossible.

You took a step back as he took another step closer. Not realizing you were at your bed it bent your knees and made you fall over, because of how low the bed was it made you think you were falling to the floor.

Out of instinct you reached out and grabbed the first thing you felt, you hit the bed with a shriek but proped yourself up you looked into your hand 'a towel?' you thought to yourself but looked up to see where you got it from.

There in front of you was Jason Voorhees, your childhood crush completely naked with his cock erect Infront of your face. Even Jason looked down at his own cock thinking 'oh was that the strange feeling I felt?' he seemed to not fully understand why this was inappropriate.

'oh my gosh he's big, oh my gosh he's big, oh my gosh he's big!' your mouth watered a bit, before you knew it you were on your heels running out your bedroom door "DINNERS READY!!" You yelled making your way to the kitchen.

You fixed the table with the homecook meals and Jason joined and helped you, you ate in silence but it was akward on your part.

You started to gather the dishes and wash them, Jason stood by you and dried the wet plates and bowls, the incident almost completely slipping your mind.

Just then you accidentally knocked a thick mug over with your elbow. You bent down to grab it but it rolled under the counter having you bend even more.

He turned around and looked down at you, because of what you were wearing which was just and oversized teacher. The shirt hiked up a bit, revealing the curvature of your ass and in the middle of your soft cheeks there was your pussy peaking out from Inbetween. Jason eyed the lips of your pussy talking in the way it glistened or how it naturally clenched whenever you made a move, out of pure curiosity Jason touched it......yep.

The moment his cold calloused finger touch the small opening of your vagina you let out a loud moan, that sounded like a pornstar moan.

The moment that noise hit Jason's ears something in him snapped, it fueled a feeling that made his already erect cock twitch. But the thing was he had no idea why he was feeling stuff in his groin, he's never had a use for it because he's dead. But all the sudden you came back and his cock has been aching ever since.

But the moment the sound hit his ears he compared It to the adrenaline he felt when his victims scream, only this time it was a moan, and he didn't have to kill to hear it.

You jolted up in embarresment, you thought he was just curious but that didn't stop your pussy from remembering the feeling. You ran to your old room abandoning the dishes in the soapy water, you bit your lip hoping this didn't ruin your little reunion with him.

Unbeknownst to you Jason was right behind your small frame with hunger in his eyes.

He threw you onto the bed and you shrieked.

"Jason im-im really so...Jason what are you doing?" You asked watching him take his long thick cock out of the confines of his pants. He took his shirt off along with his pants and stared down at you intensly.

You squeezed your legs closed tightly as he crawled to the bottom of your bed. He brought his two hands up and roughly pulled your legs apart, he looked down at your pussy and realized it was wetter than before. You moaned as the cold air hit your glistening lips.

A finger slid up and down your pussy not exactly entering just sliding, it was just what you needed to jolt up and grab a hold of his shoulder.

"Jason, what, what are you doing!?" You asked a little louder than needed so he got up with a whine thinking you were mad at him.

"no, no Jason its okay..but do you understand what your doing?" You ask gently.

He shook his head revealing a no.

"Jason I'm..I'm going to be really strait forward with this....when- well when you touch that female....part it's insinuating...that..well that you want to have sex..." You knew how Jason's mom always told Jason sex was bad and only good when there is commitment, when there's love or when there's marriage.

Jason grew stiff he remembered his mom telling him that, but he also remembered his mom telling him 'jason as long as you love, then everything is alright.'

Jason loved you, he's always loved you, he still loves you, he always will. You came back to him so you must love him to right?

He stepped forward he held his hand towards his heart and then held his hand to you.

"heart me?" You questioned.

He nodded eagerly "you heart me? ...........you love me?" Your eyes widened as he nodded once again being shy, the moment of silence filled his heart with rejection, making him back up.

Until you jumped on him "I love you too jae." You gently lifted his mask just enough to reveal his lips, slowly you brought yours to his. He wasn't sure why he was breathing so hard even though he didn't need to breath.

Finally he kissed back not sure what to do he just started doing what you were doing. So he moved his lips, a shock went down his spine something told him he needed more.

He grabbed your waist and picked you up so your height matched his, you wrapped your legs around his waist, your unclothed pussy rubbing against his jeans.

You moaned into the kiss before pulling away. You looked in his eyes and cupped his cheek, slowly but surely you took off his mask, smiling at the face of slight deformities.

He tried to shy away only for you to make him look at you "your still as handsome as I remember jae" he cracks a shy smile before kissing you again. You hop off of him and lead him towards the bed pushing him down on it. You crawled on top of him and slowly undid his belt and pulled off his jeans leaving his cock sprung out. He bit his lips as your mouth hovered over the tip, you lowered your mouth and gently sucked on his tip.

"Poor baby, had to suffer with this aching cock, I'll fix it baby just be a goo d boy and lay down." He did as told his cock twitching at the praise.

You sucked on the tip bringing your hand to message his balls. A loud moan came out of his mouth and he threw his head back, you smirked and took his fat cock deeper and deeper in your mouth, his mouns growing louder and his hip snapping into your mouth uncontrollably. You moaned at the sight of his strong heaving chest growing, this sent rumbles to come out of Jason's mouth. Soon he had a bright white stream flowing out of his tip. He looked down in pure ecstasy, and found you swallowing each drop of cum like you were starving. His erection grew once again as you stood up and took off the only thing you had on.

Jason looked at you with his cock upright again. Your tits bounced gently and your ass jiggled with your movements, you crawled on top of Jason hands planted on his chest.

"you were such a good boy Jason, your So good for me aren't you? My sweet boy." He let out a groan as he looked into your eyes "you tasted to good.." he thrust up at that only to be met with nothing he whimpered. "You deserve a reward for being so good don't you?" He nodded quickly.

You smiled "okay jae, just go along with this okay jason? I'll tell you when to move." You picked up his hard cock and lined it up with your entrance, as you slowly sat down on him you could feel him getting ready to move but he restrained himself due to your order.

Once you sat fully on him and adjusted to his size, you moaned "move jae." He did just that snapping his hips into your cunt harshly. Your moans were constant and your head collapsed to his shoulder. "Oh gosh Jason your so good, just like that please just like that." Each thrust was hitting further than just your g spot.

He groaned more and more knowing he was going to release himself.

"jae your fucking me so good I'm going to cum!!!" Just then your walls tightened around his cock and he made this animal like roar when you got tighter, he shot his load deep within you and he slowed his thrust down.

You collapsed atop him and he flung his strong arms around you holding you close to his heaving chest.

"want to know something jae?" He nodded "when me and you were kids I had the BIGGEST crush on you." His eyes widened and he looked at your sleepy face. You chuckled at him "but I didnt tell you cause I didnt think you liked me.... Guess I was wrong huh?" You smiled up at him, he only nodded, happy that your feelings were reciprocated.

"I'll see you tomorrow Jason....I still love you....."

[anistarrose]

Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually - Chapter 3

AO3

Chapter Summary: The battle continues! Kravitz arrives to help. Taako chills out. Angus remains skeptical.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz

***

The cloaked necromancers Chad and Dave stood beside their fallen comrade, seething with rage. Green tendrils of electricity flew off their staff, materializing into twisting vines that pulverized almost every stone surface in a twenty-foot radius.

Behind them, Magnus coughed up water and struggled into a sitting position. He was still loosely bound by moss, but managed to swat the attacking vines away from Merle, who was looking even worse for wear on account of residing almost directly beneath the epicenter of Taako’s stalactite-shattering stunt.

“Don’t worry,” Merle mumbled, fumbling with a waterlogged Extreme Teen Bible. “I know how to deal with plants —”

His holy symbol began to glow, only for that radiant light to fade almost immediately as Merle’s head slumped. “Never mind, I think I’m concussed.”

From his position on the ledge between Angus and Kravitz, Taako watched with increasing concern.

“I really fucking didn’t think through the collateral damage of that move, did I?” he muttered. “Hey, Kravitz? If you’ve developed any grudging respect for me at all over the forty-eight hours we’ve been playing this game of cat and mouse, then can you do me a solid and get those two out of danger?”

Kravitz eyed the pile of rubble in the center of the cave, where the pool had once been. “Technically, I’ve been hunting you for more like twelve years. But I think I can figure something out.”

Before Taako could even react to the first statement, Kravitz turned into a ball of light and zipped down to the ground floor. Dave took a swing at him with the staff, but Kravitz was too fast, dodging green lighting bolts and disappearing into the shattered remnants of the stalactite.

There was an anticlimactic pause, then a low rumble, and a stone construct began to assemble itself as rubble from across the cave flew together to form four massive arms and fists. A few of the surviving slime constructs charged him, but Kravitz effortlessly flicked boulders through their heads with his lower pair of arms, then scooped up Magnus and Merle with his upper pair.

“What are you even doing with that staff? Either stop him, or hand it over to me!” Chad wrestled the staff out of Dave’s hands and pointed it at the base of the construct’s torso, summoning more vines and wiry tree roots that bored into the stone. But before they could bind or shatter any vital foundations, Taako took his cue to rejoin the fight, dropping a Fireball on the necromancers from directly above before casually floating down to their level, Umbra Staff still wreathed in flames.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Kravitz scanned the cave for ledges out of the way of danger, but Angus still occupied the only safe spot he could see. Instead, he drew upon his link to the Astral Plane and concentrated — and as the cracks in the construct’s form began to glow blue, several sapphire crystals burst out of the wall of the cave to form an elevated platform. He set Magnus and Merle down atop it, then brushed the last scraps of moss off their bodies with surprisingly dextrous stone fingers.

“Unhand me, you undead — oh, never mind, that’s actually really helpful,” Magnus told him. “But do you think you could get me my axe back?”

The construct’s head turned, as a movement on the ground floor caught Kravitz’s attention. Scattered pieces of moss were slowly creeping back together, reabsorbing diluted puddles of slime and writhing as they formed new undead constructs.

“Maybe later,” Kravitz answered, voice echoing across the cave. “Right now, I’ve got other priorities.”

From his bird’s-eye-view, Angus noticed the reforming slimes at the same time Kravitz did. “Taako, behind you!”

Taako had been handling the two surviving necromancers with ease, but he barely reacted in time to dodge a spray of acid from one of their newly formed minions. This one was taller and more deformed than any of the others, and its three arms wielded gelatinous copies of the Extreme Teen Bible, Railsplitter, and the Umbra Staff. Its face was perpetually bubbling and reforming, sprouting Magnus’s sideburns before replacing them with Merle’s beard, then Taako’s hat.

“Ugh!” Taako spat, recoiling. “I know you’re necromancers, but I didn’t sign up for this horror movie shit!”

“Try freezing it, sir!” Angus yelled, cupping both hands around his mouth. “Your Sleet Storm took out a lot of the vines last time!”

Taako fired off a simple Ray of Frost, catching the slime abomination in the shoulder and freezing its whole body solid in just a fraction of a second. Its face solidified somewhere between Merle’s and Taako’s, locked in a shouting expression — but thankfully, Taako didn’t have to stare at his fused likeliness for much longer, as Kravitz’s construct detached and launched one of its fists with a burst of blue astral fire, pulverizing the frozen construct into a thousand clouded ice crystals.

“Nice shot!” Taako called out. “But fuck, I wish we’d realized their weakness sooner!”

“Damn you, and damn your reaper friend a thousand times!” Dave bellowed. “But you haven’t won yet! Fuck ‘em up, Chad!”

Chad slammed the tip of the staff against the ground, and a dozen more vines arose to bind the stone behemoth. Kravitz let it crumble, turning back into a ball of light and zipping over to Taako’s side, where he rematerialized as a humanoid skeleton who gripped his scythe as three new, equally deformed slime clones rose and advanced towards them.

“If you freeze those three, I bet I can shatter them all in one attack,” Kravitz boasted, grinning at Taako.

“Create another sapphire at about torso height in the wall on our left, and I bet I can freeze ‘em all with just one ray!” Taako raised him.

“You’re on!” Kravitz plunged his scythe into the ground, and a sapphire crystal burst out from a wall of dull gray limestone. Nodding approvingly, Taako fired off another Ray of Frost, which ricocheted off the reflective blue surface at the perfect angle and flew in a straight line through all the clones, leaving each of them frozen.

Kravitz twirled his scythe and it morphed into a elegant black longbow, three sapphire-tipped arrows already nocked and blazing with ghostly flames. He turned his bow sideways as he fired, and each arrow pierced one frozen enemy, shattering them into three identical piles of icy shards.

“Ohoho! Nice one!” Taako laughed, applauding enthusiastically. “Look out for those clowns with the staff, though!”

Chad screamed and charged at Kravitz, wielding the intensely magical staff like a melee weapon — but Kravitz simply plucked the string of his bow, and upon hearing the tone, Chad dropped the staff and slammed his hands over his ears. In one lightning-fast motion that literally crackled with electricity, Kravitz reverted his bow to its scythe form and swung at Chad, who was vaporized the second the blade pierced his skin. A mottled brown cloak fell to the ground, sliced in half but no longer occupied by anything but dust.

“Could you do me a favor and freeze the rest of that moss, Taako?” Kravitz called out. “I’ll wrap up this battle on my own, if you don’t mind.”

“Go for it!” Taako told him, conjuring a floating bag of popcorn.

Kravitz vaulted into the air, tearing a rift through the fabric of the Material Plane with a twirl of his scythe. He vanished and reappeared behind Dave’s back, but Dave was ready for him, pulling out a longsword as he whirled around and parried Kravitz’s attack.

“Ah, you’re one of those people,” Kravitz commented, looking about as unperturbed as a skeleton could. “Got into necromancy later in life after the fighter class didn’t work out for you, eh?”

Dave managed to deflect Kravitz’s next flurry of strikes, but found himself losing ground as Kravitz backed him towards the wall below Magnus and Merle’s perch.

“Though it looks like you’re a little out of practice,” Kravitz went on. “Don’t worry — I’m sure you’ll find some new sparring partners in the Eternal Stockade.”

Gasping for breath and only a few more steps away from being cornered, Dave threw back his hood to reveal a rugged half-elven face, and managed a dazzling smile.

“You don’t have anywhere left to retreat,” Kravitz remarked amusedly. “Why the optimism?”

“Because I know something you don’t, reaper!”

“Which is?”

Dave tossed his cutlass from his left hand to his right. “I am not left handed!”

Kravitz laughed so hard that his appearance flickered between living and skeletal, even sprouting raven feathers in his hair for a brief moment. “Really? That’s all?”

Dave’s expression crumpled. “What do you mean?”

With each hand, Kravitz pulled his scythe in opposite directions, and it morphed into two new scythes, each blade as sharp and deadly as the original. “I thought you were going to say you had two swords!”

Shoveling popcorn into his face with one hand, Taako pointed his Umbra Staff behind him and blasted a reforming moss monster without even looking at it. “You tell ‘em, Krav!”

Dave tried to feint to the right then flee to the left, but Kravitz transformed into a dual-wielding whirlwind, twirling blades into a vortex that could’ve torn through solid stone. But every one of his movements was too precise, too carefully honed, to possibly strike an unintended target like a wall or misplaced boulder — one moment, Dave’s longsword was flying out of his hand, and the next, Dave himself was no more, vaporized into a cloud of dust that quickly dispersed and a bright soul-light that was banished directly to the Eternal Stockade.

A wand carved from gnarled wood fell to the ground, and as usual, the Umbra Staff inverted to slurp it up. For just a moment afterwards, Taako could’ve sworn that it tugged his hand ever so subtly upwards and pointed at Kravitz — but the second Kravitz turned around, the tugging stopped, and the residual magic aura surrounding the umbrella faded.

“Well, I suppose we should do something about that necromantic staff.” Kravitz transformed back into a human and walked over to the offending magical artifact, manifesting a black leather glove around his hand as he picked it up. “It’s not quite Grand Relic-tier dangerous, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe to leave lying around, either.”

He tore a new rift with his scythe and tossed the staff through. “And just when I was making headway on all that Miller paperwork…”

“Hey, if you need help, I bet you could outsource some of it to Angus!” Taako suggested. “You’re not kidnapping him to whatever weird afterlife cubicle you work from, though. He’s my student.”

“Angus is the child?” Kravitz glanced up to the ledge Angus still stood on, who was watching the events below with a mix of fascination and horror that could only come from a kid detective in over his head. “What were you thinking, bringing him here? He could’ve been hurt if I hadn’t arrived when I did!”

“Well, in my defense, I didn’t expect to have any potentially traumatizing battles with slime monsters,” Taako retorted. “It’s not my fault my life never has a dull moment!”

Kravitz sighed. “Neither does your undeath, apparently.”

“That’s just the way things go for celebrities. Nothing I can do about it!” Taako flipped his hair, then made a mental note to cut it now that it was getting long enough to flip. He didn’t want it turning into a mullet.

“I could name plenty of celebrities whose deaths have been relatively law-abiding, actually,” Kravitz told him, expression deadpan. “I’d say about eighty percent of them total, or maybe seventy-five.”

“I can only imagine the Astral Plane tabloids,” Taako chuckled, tossing his Umbra Staff into the air. “But anyway, let’s get you down from there, Agnes.”

The opened Umbra Staff flew into Angus’s hand, and with only slight hesitation, Angus leapt of the ledge. The handle was warm, but not hot, and something about that gentle heat just felt reassuring.

As Angus safely floated to the ground, enveloped in silver light, Kravitz made a sweeping downwards gesture with his scythe, and the sapphire crystals supporting Magnus and Merle began to rumble and slowly descend.

“Is it Angus or Agnes?” Kravitz asked the boy detective. “I think I must’ve misheard you at least once.”

“Well, it’s definitely not Agnes,” Angus replied. “Are you really the Grim Reaper?”

Kravitz chuckled. “I’ve had this job for almost eight centuries, and I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before. Usually the scythe’s convincing enough.”

Angus crossed his arms. “A little skepticism is always healthy, no matter how obvious the conclusion may seem. Caleb Cleveland taught me that, just like he taught me a lot of things.”

“Can’t say I’m familiar with Caleb Cleveland, but that sounds fair enough,” Kravitz cheerfully conceded. “Though maybe you should exercise a little more of that caution the next time Taako and his friends drag you along on a dangerous mission. Speaking of which, let me fix you all up.”

As Magnus and Merle reached the ground level of the cave, Kravitz’s scythe shimmered and morphed into a lute. Intricate carvings of various corvids covered almost every inch of the ebony wood, with tiny sapphires inlaid for their eyes. Magnus looked over the handiwork approvingly as Kravitz plucked out a simple melody, and an aura of rosy pink healing magic washed across the room.

Merle rubbed his forehead. “Huh, my headache just melted away…”

Taako laughed. “Yeah, that’s what healing magic usually tends to do for concussed people!”

“Has this been our problem the whole time?” Magnus added. “Has Merle just not been able to comprehend the concept of healing?”

“Did the concept of healing get erased by the Voidfish?” Taako wheezed.

“I can comprehend it just fine, assholes!” Merle retorted. “I’m just not used to seeing it as a performance!”

Kravitz returned his lute to scythe form. “Playing four chords and healing you wasn’t a performance. But Taako and I destroying those three undead? That was a performance.”

Taako beamed. “Hey, speaking of which — is there any chance killing three horrible slimy boys is equivalent to taking out one lich in the bounty system? Because I think I rocked it today, not to mention the two of us really vibing, and it would be cool if you could cut me just a little bit of slack.”

“I’m afraid none of today’s harvest had actually died and escaped the Astral Plane before, which means they still rank far below both the three of you, as well as your actual targets,” Kravitz replied. “But I could probably pull a few strings and make sure your cells in the Eternal Stockade are all next to each other, if it makes you feel compensated.”

“Does that include Lucas Miller?” Magnus asked. “I really don’t want to be stuck in a cell next to Lucas for eternity.”

Kravitz shrugged.

“Noelle and Maureen can hang, though,” Magnus clarified. “They’re cool.”

Taako ignored Magnus, walking over to Kravitz’s sapphire platform to examine it. Even after knocking on it and prodding it with his Umbra Staff, it remained solid. “I might end up regretting this question, but your sick crystal stunt reminded me and now I gotta know — if you’re this good with your scythe, then why didn’t you just take a physical form in Lucas’s lab and kill us that way instead of fucking around as a crystal construct?”

“No matter how powerful I am with it, there was always a chance of my scythe touching a crystal and being transmuted into pink tourmaline, which would’ve rendered most of its powers unusable,” Kravitz explained. “So I decided to go in incorporeally — which I may or may not regret, I haven’t decided yet.”

Taako nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think I would’ve cast that tentacle spell on, like, a dude. Not that I’m know whether you’re thinking of that as a positive or a negative —”

“You know, there’s something I really should’ve given you last time!” Kravitz deflected, transforming back into a skeleton and hoping his flustered expression would be harder to read on a skull than on a face with eyes and skin and flesh. “You need a way of summoning me!”

“You mean saying your name three times doesn’t work?” Merle asked.

“Unless I’m already scanning for undead in the general area, no.” Kravitz reached into his robe and pulled out a quiver of arrows, which he handed to Taako. “These are tipped with sapphires and fletched with raven feathers. Stabbing one into a surface of your choice while saying my name just once will release a powerful magical flare and get my attention, and I’ll warp over as soon as I can.”

Grinning, Taako slung the quiver over his shoulder. “Dude, that’s metal as fuck!”

“But please save them for genuine necromantic emergencies — either when you get a lead on one of the liches, or if another dangerous situation like the one today comes up.”

Taako’s grin faded. “So… they’re for business only.”

“I… uh… I’m sorry,” Kravitz stammered, immediately regretting the stipulation. But I can’t change my mind now, there’d be no way to explain it without just sounding awkward…

“It’s a company policy,” he fibbed. “Not my choice, unfortunately.”

Taako seemed to buy it, though he still looked disappointed. “Oh, well. Woulda been nice to hang with you, but I guess I’ll — we’ll see you later, then.”

“Good luck, Taako,” Kravitz said. “Good luck to all of you — and I mean that much more sincerely than I meant it last time.”

He tore open a portal to the Astral Plane and leapt through it with a dramatic swing of his cloak — but not before seeing Angus stick his tongue out at him, stubborn and defiant in that uniquely ten-year-old way.

Returning to his office overlooking the Astral Sea, Kravitz sighed, and addressed the raven perched on the back of his swivel chair.

“You know, I don’t think Taako’s student likes me very much.”

“Caw,” replied the raven, which almost certainly translated as either I smell popcorn or oh Kravitz, what in the world have you gotten yourself into?

[escapefromarchoncastle]

Chapter One – Archon Castle Is Not What It Seems

Terry trudged up the gravel path, already dreading Archon Castle was not going to live up to the promotional material. The ravens and vultures, perched like Halloween ornaments on a sprawling oak tree, looked embarrassingly fake. Bald patches of black plastic gleamed between the glued-on feathers. He should have figured. His parents had warned him. At fifteen, he was no longer a child. It was stupid to believe magic existed outside of camera tricks and CGI. Yet he held onto a fraying thread of hope, the same way he had with Santa Claus each Christmas until he was nearly in middle school.

A caw loud as a falcon’s screech startled him. He stopped at the edge of the trail and gawked up. The blackbirds had come alive. They fluttered their wings, still looking a bit mangy. They stared down at him as if they were sizing up their next meal. Terry continued walking, more slowly now, and glancing over his shoulder at each odd sound in the woods. None of the other hundred-odd kids traipsing along the same trail appeared at all spooked. They all had eager expressions on their faces, eyes wide as if they’d never seen trees in their wild habitat before.

The stone walls of the castle came into view above the canopy of evergreen trees. Terry felt his breath sucking deep into his lungs at the imposing sight. Archon Castle sat atop a black, craggy cliff, menacing and ancient. Clouds had gathered overhead. Mist swirled around. He came around a bend and trail ended at a drawbridge flanked by a pair of watchtowers. The top of a turret beyond had crumbled as if a bad-tempered giant had kicked at it. Even after studying countless pictures online, Terry still found it hard to believe such a castle existed in West Virginia of all places. It looked as though it belonged off the coast of Ireland or had come from another realm.

A large boy bumped against Terry. Terry did his best to ignore him as he bumped against him a second time. Probably Chad. Terry’d noticed him in the parking lot earlier, picking a fight with an Asian boy until his dad called him away. Again he found himself staring at the castle, filled with an uncanny sensation he was being drawn into another time and place. The walls looked so ancient. Rock had crumbled away from the narrow arrow slits. Most of the tiles on top of the watchtowers were cracked or missing. The wooden timbers used for the drawbridge must be over a thousand years old. The trail turned sharply and descended again. The castle was no longer in their view.

“Hey. You.”

Sweat trickled down Terry’s spine as he braved a glance. Chad’s eyes were locked on someone else thankfully, a small blond boy with a bad haircut. Terry froze, unsure what to do. He wasn’t one to take on bullies, but this kid was half Chad's size. Terry's hands curled into fists. His fingers flexed. He used to be the little guy everyone had picked on but he’d grown quite a bit since the seventh grade. Chad wasn’t that big; he could take him. Terry had fantasized, repeatedly, of exactly this scenario where he’d seize the bully by his shoulder, force him around, and land a hard boxer’s punch to knock him out cold.

Paralyzed with indecision, he watched Chad grab onto the boy’s yellow tennis shirt and pull it over his head. The boy went to head-butt him, missed, and plowed into a red-haired girl. Enraged, she let out a shriek and tore at both of them, her fingers like bared claws. Terry ducked away from the melee and stood on the grass verge. He was about to pull Chad off the boy when a man in long black robes fluttered up to them.

“ENOUGH!” the man roared, grabbing Chad by the scruff of his hoodie. “Any more of this and you won’t be wondering whether this castle has a dungeon.”

Chad went pale. His body quivered. Eyes bugged out, he stammered, “Y-y-yeah. S-suh-sir.”

The blond boy pulled his yellow shirt back down, smoothed his hair, and gulped as if he were staring into the face of Death. “I’m sorry mister.”

The scuffle was over. Terry’s chance at a moment of glory had passed. Disappointed and yet also relieved, he secured the strap of his backpack against his shoulder and got back on the gravel trail. The man in black was gone as quickly as he’d appeared. Chad and some of the others craned their heads around, brows furrowed, until someone pointed out a shadow slinking through the trees. The tall dark figure was moving way too fast and smoothly for it to be a person running. Terry's skin flushed with excitement––the man was flying! He was only a foot or two off the ground, but still, he was skimming into the woods like a hovercraft.

The trail veered upward again. Terry wondered if they were ever going to reach the gates. The last he’d glimpsed, the castle had looked so close and now he could see nothing again but pine and fir trees.

“Oh my God, this is Archon Castle?” a girl’s dismayed voice cried somewhere up ahead. “What a dump!”

Terry caught up with her at the top of the hill and stared ahead, dismayed. She wasn’t kidding. To say this castle was in disrepair was like saying a bombed-out ruin just needed a little fixing up. The entire western wall had crumbled to rubble. The castle still looked as if it had been built much earlier than the mid-1800s, and had been under siege for most of it.

He gulped and eyed the sagging roof of the keep. He’d seen abandoned farmhouses in better condition. The gatehouse was even more dilapidated. The tower on the left had partially collapsed. The timbers keeping the tower on the right propped up looked about as sturdy as twigs for a hermit shack. A sewer-like stench wafted into his nostrils. The stink was coming from the swampy, algae-filled moat.

“May I have your attention!” a surly voice called. Different from the one who’d broken up that fight. Everyone huddled together, keeping their distance from the figure in front of the gatehouse. He also wore a black cloak, his face hidden in the shadows of his hood. His arms were raised up high so that he formed the shape of a cross. He looked more like the figure of Death than a wizard. All he was missing was a scythe. “Once you have passed onto the grounds of Archon castle, you will be unable to leave before summer end. I strongly advise anyone wishing to turn back, to do so now.”

A boy on Terry’s left raised his hand.

“Yes?”

The boy gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Do we get a refund, sir?”

“NO.”

Terry was torn. All his life he’d dreamt of becoming a wizard. Yet his parents were practical people, who stressed the importance of having a backup plan no matter what dreams you aspired to. Although not quite ready to let go of his childish fantasies, he did have an alternative career in mind. He’d be a journalist. That way if he failed at becoming a wizard this summer, he’d have a good story to write about. His Uncle Pete said the boilerplate non-disclosure form Terry’d had to sign was bull-puckey. If he turned back now, he’d have nothing. He watched Chad whisper to the one asking about the refund.

More loudly Chad said, “Only welfare cases think ten grand is a lot of money. Let’s blow this joint!” Chad patted the boy’s shoulder and the two of them began jogging back down the trail. It figured, bullies were always the biggest wimps. Another two dozen or so followed.

“Good riddance,” a dark haired girl whispered in a singsong voice to no one in particular. “The fewer people who go inside, the higher my own chance of becoming an initiate.”

She had a point. She began striding forward and Terry followed her onto the drawbridge. A sharp, cracking sound sent stabs of terror into his chest as a plank gave way beneath his foot. He stumbled onto a sturdier plank, and stayed put until his heart was no longer pounding against his rib-cage. He looked down. Through a gap between two rotting planks, he could see rusted spikes jutting out of the algae below. He also caught sight of an odd ripple on the surface near a patch of lily pads.

“Oh my, that was close,” the girl said. She, too, was staring down at the spikes. She looked up at Terry, wide-eyed. She grinned, her face flushed with excitement. “We nearly died!”

“Um, yes,” he said for the sake of saying something. He looked up, and immediately regretted doing so. The bottom of the portcullis suspended in the archway he was passing under had spikes like iron teeth about to chomp down on them.

“What are those holes up there?” She pointed at a series of charred holes in the ceiling, each about a foot in diameter.

“Murder holes,” Terry answered. “If invaders managed to storm the gates, soldiers would pour cauldrons of boiling oil onto them.”

“What a way to go!” She made sure to avoid walking directly under any large holes the rest of the way. So did Terry. Archon Castle was definitely creepy—it felt creepy—and not in a good way like a haunted house theme park, but in a bad way like a car following at a walking pace just a few feet behind.

The girl continued along, testing her weight on each plank before stepping onto it fully. Terry followed right behind her. Being heavier, he had to be even more careful going across. He’s already had one break from under him. He glanced over his shoulder and figured they were halfway along. Several had already given and were heading back up the trail.

Terry was tempted to join them. But this might be his only chance to learn any form of magic, the only place that mysterious online message had said it existed. Real magic was supposed to be scary. In the material that had accompanied his application forms, the first line explicitly stated that this camp was not for the faint of heart. And, according to Uncle Pete, the waivers his parents had had to sign assuring Archon Castle LLC that Terry was in good health, were ironclad.

He edged forward, tensing with each step and then breathing a sigh of relief as the boards held. Rusty chains creaked. The drawbridge shuddered beneath his feet. Behind him, a voice called, “Get a move on!” They were raising the bridge already! Terry leapt along the firmest looking planks until he was safely on solid ground again. Others pressed against him as they were herded into a courtyard. The drawbridge was rising more quickly now. He watched at least two dozen kids clamber back over it with the desperation of last-minute Christmas shoppers. Fighting the urge to follow them, he reminded himself that the more people who chickened out, the fewer he’d have to compete with.

The drawbridge closed with a thud. The ground shook like a small earthquake. He even felt that same queer liquid sensation under his feet that he'd experienced back home in California a few times.

Dreading whatever he’d just gotten himself into, he turned to face the castle. And gasped. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and gawked around in amazement. The surrounding buildings now looked as though they’d been created for a theme park they were in such good condition! The massive rectangular keep stood tall and proud, weathered just enough to assure Terry it was nearly two centuries old. The whitewashed plaster on the rambling Tudor-style buildings to his left gleamed in the noonday sun. The earlier decrepitude must have been an illusion to frighten away the weak-willed. Pride swelled him at the thought he may have passed his first test, though it deflated just as quickly.

“Form a line side by side!” a deep voice barked. A hand gripped Terry’s shoulder, icy through the thick fabric of his t-shirt. The man was an Adept, dressed in a crimson silk robe with gold stars embossed along the hem. A shadow fell over Terry and cool, slippery fabric slid down over his head and arms. He was then jerked around and shoved next to a girl in a light blue robe. The same dark-haired girl who’d been in front of him as they crossed the drawbridge. Terry looked down to see he was now wearing a similar robe.

“Why does it have to be blue?” she mumbled, bunching the fabric in her fists. On her feet she wore a pair of pink and white polka dot flip flops. “Blue is a boy’s colour.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Terry said. “My sister’s favourite colour is a light—”

“QUIET!” the same Adept who’d grabbed his shoulder yelled. “Everyone form a line.”

Terry stood behind the girl. The Adept snatched his shoulders again and made him stand next to her. “A side by side line.”

“Wouldn’t that be a row?” She jerked back as if she’d been slapped across her face, yet the Adept’s hand hadn’t moved anywhere near her. She scowled, rubbed her cheek, and glowered at Terry.

“It wasn’t me.” Terry waited until the Adept was out of earshot. “I think he used his Astral hand on you.” He tried to remember what else he’d read about Astral combat. Everything he’d brushed up on the past few weeks was beginning to blur.

“This place is awfully sexist,” she whispered and Terry nodded. Whenever that word came up he’d been trained from early childhood to nod and say nothing. “I only see ten other girls here. Fifteen at most. Though you did make a good point about blue. Cerulean is a lovely shade. And so is lapis lazuli.”

Already she was getting on his nerves. Hoping she’d take a hint, Terry fixed his gaze at the row of Adepts assembling across from them. They stood at the base of a square stone tower that dwarfed everyone in the courtyard. A portly Master Adept, in a burgundy robe covered in gold and black squiggly marks, stepped forward. He pulled back his hood. He had jowls like a St. Bernard and wisps of white hair sprung from his head in a feathery crown. “Welcome to Wizard Camp,” he said. His voice sounded like a bulldozer with engine trouble. “As you may already be aware, I am Quindalore the Querulous, Learned Master Adept of the Order of Nine.”

An Adept behind Quindalore coughed lightly into his fist. According to Archon Castle’s own website, the Order of Nine was down to seven. The fate of the missing two was unknown. According to a thread on the unofficial Archon Castle forum, one of the Order had ascended into a Being of Pure Light and Energy, while another claimed he’d run off with an underage neophyte. Terry knew what underage implied, but not neophyte, though he assumed it was equally as lurid.

“Presently,” Master Adept Quindalore said, “there are a hundred and six of you joining us today, of which three will be invited to become Initiates. Initiation is the first step on the path to becoming a wizard proper. Sixty-eight of you, so far, turned back at the drawbridge.”

Everyone chuckled uncomfortably like someone had just farted during a funeral speech. Terry glanced around, dismayed. With everyone massed together, he realised how terrible his odds actually were. Roughly two percent. Then again, if everyone was able to grasp the true odds of success in any endeavour, no one would take risks.

Quindalore continued, “During the next two months you will learn basic spell casting, rune reading, dowsing and divining, and, before anyone asks, there will be no handling any wands.”

“Do we get to summon demons?” a voice piped up. A boy around ten or eleven, with a blond pudding bowl haircut, grinned eagerly. The collar of his canary-yellow t-shirt poked from under his blue robe. The boy Chad had been bullying.

“NO!” There wasn’t much force behind Quindalore’s voice, but the volume was deafening.

Terry gulped. He had questions, loads of questions, and decided it would be wiser to let other kids do the asking.

“For the time being you will each be assigned a group number. The Adept in charge of your group will show you to your sleeping quarters. We will meet back here in precisely half an hour for your orienteering session.”

Orienteering session didn’t sound frightening; it was the sort of thing his dad did for a living. But it was the way Quindalore had said it that made the hairs of his arms stand on end.

The poppy-robed Adepts split apart. They each carried an iron cauldron hanging from the crooks of their arms with the ease of an empty picnic basket. Super-human strength would be cool to learn, Terry thought. His parents had bought him a weight set, but he kept forgetting to use them.

The Adepts proceeded to take slips of paper out from their cauldrons, pinning one to each of the blue robes nearest them.

“I wonder how they select us,” the girl next to Terry said. “We’re being assigned different numbers.” She had fine brownish-black hair that went past her shoulders and a nearly perfect profile. He hated when he noticed such things in a girl. Especially ones who got on his nerves.

Leaning close enough for him to smell the strawberry scent of her hair, she rasped, “Matching vibrational energy, do you think? Or maybe they can see auras in broad daylight!”

Terry said nothing. He had no idea what vibrational energy involved and didn’t want her thinking he was stupid. Besides, he doubted there was any deliberate selection process at all. Each adept was speeding through with the efficiency of a factory production line. Once they were done, Terry and the girl looked down, then they looked at each other.

“We’ve been assigned the same number. But it had been different Adepts who had …” She stared off, as if she’d seen the first crack in what she’d always thought was solid ground beneath her feet and was afraid to check if it was widening. Terry didn’t care; he was just happy he’d been assigned a lucky number. Nothing was luckier than seven, surely.

“Number sevens, follow me!” A female adept with close-set eyes signalled to them and marched towards a set of low stone buildings beyond the square tower. A couple of reddish horses with black manes were tied to a post near the side entrance. One of them snorted and stamped its hoof as Terry filed after the other twenty-odd kids into the building. The coolness after the hot noonday sun was refreshing but inside it was damp, dark, and reeked of manure.

They were led past a maze of horse stalls into a large, rectangular room with stone walls and a peaked wood ceiling. Sunlight slanted in through high, small windows, giving the place a subterranean feel. Here the stench of manure wasn't as overpowering, more like a room where people had been smoking cigars the night before and figured opening one window a crack was enough to air the place out. The stink was bearable.

The Adept turned on a switch next to the entrance. Floodlights attached to the wooden beams above flickered as if each of them wanted to keep hitting the snooze button before finally getting up and doing their job of illuminating the room.

“Oh no,” Terry said in a hushed voice as he looked around. Surely their beds weren't going to be ... blankets on top of bales of straw? He already knew he'd be sleeping in far less comfort than he was accustomed to. It wasn’t canopied feather beds he’d been expecting. But he was positive one of the online pictures had showed rows of hammocks, and in another he’d seen cosy little cots similar to ones in his grandfather’s summer cottage. These accommodations were what tourist brochures worldwide described as rustic, looking wonderfully quaint until you got there and discovered half the walls were missing.

He blinked and rubbed his eyes. Unlike after the drawbridge had closed, nothing changed. All the beds consisted of three bales of straw secured together with thick twine. A pair of scratchy-looking burlap blankets lay folded on top of each one. At the foot of each––he was loath to call them beds––was a slab of rough wood. No pillow, no storage box, and what if it got cold at night?

"No pillows?" the girl next to him whined.

The Adept traced a vaguely figure eight symbol in the air with her index finger.

"ALL RIGHT THEN," her voice boomed, shaking the rafters. She traced something else in the air and more quietly said, "One cot per person. Later this afternoon, leftover apple crates will be arriving for you to store your things in."

The same boy who'd asked about Demon summoning went up to her. "Which one's mine?"

"Any of them—just choose one per person," she said in the same irritated tone of voice his sister would use whenever she was waiting for some boy to call her back. “You neophytes get worse every year, I swear.”

A memory sprung up in Terry’s mind like a jack-in-the-box head popping out of its compartment. Of course, a neophyte was the level below Initiate. There were several other ranks above that. Junior Adept, Adept and Senior Adept followed, then onto more complex, important-sounding titles that rivalled those of a large bank or advertising firm.

“What’s your name?” the same boy asked. The pudding bowl haircut made him immune to non-verbal cues that would terrify other kids, Terry reckoned. With hair like that, he’d probably grown a very thick skin. If the school he went to was anywhere like Rosedale High, he’d need it.

“My friends, my parents, and my mentors, call me Natasha,” the Adept said, her shadow growing into that of a giant behind her. “To you, my little worm, I am Miss Huston. Don’t. Wear. It out.”

He quivered away from her.

Everyone else stood frozen like pieces on a chessboard. Seeing his chance at securing the best spot, Terry dodged around to the bundle of straw in the farthest corner. The rest elbowed their ways towards the remaining corners. Guarding his makeshift bed, Terry watched a fight break out on the opposite side of the room. A wiry boy was trying to push a larger boy off the spot he’d staked out. Terry sat to watch. He quite enjoyed fights, so long as he wasn’t involved in one himself.

The bigger boy held the other one away with his rod-straight arm, his body well out of range of the flailing fists. “Get lost, Mark—I was here first!” He ducked, sending Mark pitching forward. Before Mark could recover his balance another boy lunged at him, scrabbling at his shoulder and trying to get him into a choke-hold. Miss Huston waved her arms and the three of them flew apart from each other like exploding shrapnel.

Miss Huston addressed the quarreling boys. Her smile had a lot of teeth for someone with such a small mouth. “There’s nothing in the rules saying the two of you can’t share a bed. We wizards are very enlightened as far as romantic preferences go.”

“It's yours, cry-baby.” Mark gave the smaller boy a shove, then went to the cot in the remaining corner and pushed that kid out from it. Miss Huston watched, but said nothing.

"Miss," the girl with pink flip-flops said, tugging Miss Huston’s sleeve.

"What is it?" She wheeled around and glared at her as if the girl had just smeared mud on her nice crimson robe.

"Where are the girls supposed to go?"

"Wherever! It says dorms are co-ed right in the brochure! We do not assume gender at Archon Castle. We're very progressive here. At sixteen surely you're old enough to have acquired immunity to boy germs."

The girl swallowed and stared around, her gaze passing Terry without a glimmer of expectation. He wasn’t relieved though; he felt sad for her. Four other girls had chosen spots next to each other on the far side of the room from him, and they glared at her in that way girls glare at anyone who Does Not Belong. Mean girls, like his sister and her friends. The place next to Terry was still empty, so he rose and gestured at the spot he’d staked out. How could he not offer it under the circumstances. "You can stay here if you want. I ... I have a sister so ... I’m already used to …"

She kept her head bowed and went to stand on the far side of the one next to his, meeting his chivalric gesture halfway. He tossed his backpack into the corner and sat again.

"I'll leave you to settle in. We will meet back in the courtyard in twenty-five minutes, where you will be given your very first lesson. In alchemy," Miss Huston said, and left.

Terry’s burning excitement at the sound of the word alchemy was doused by the sight of the girl sitting on the edge of the bed next to his, facing away from him and sobbing. Crying was always more painful to watch when all you could see was their back and shoulders shaking uncontrollably, head turned down.

"I’m Terry. What's your name?" he asked softly. Across from them the other girls were snickering and whispering, hands shielding mouths, eyes wild with malice.

She sniffled. "Katya," she said at last.

"That's a nice name," he said, again for the sake of something to say. There wasn't much a bully could do with a name like that. It didn't rhyme with anything nasty like Terry Fairy or hairy Terry. The worst they could do was Fatya, but she was too slim for that to work as an insult.

She didn't respond, not that he had expected her too. It would be rude to ask her to stop crying, so he turned his attention to spreading the thin blankets out on top the bales. He lay down and bits of straw prodded his neck and ankles. Thankfully the robe’s fabric was thick. In half an hour he’d be learning his first ever magic. Alchemy. He imagined a laboratory full of bubbling beakers and alembics, watching in awe as mysterious steaming substances flowed through networks of glass pipes into copper stills. Alchemy.

[hazyheel]

WWE Smackdown Live 9/17/19 Review

Despite the fact that this wasn’t the strongest episode in the world, I actually liked it a lot. The segments that bookended the show were both pretty strong, and we saw a huuuuuuge announcement for the upcoming debut on Fox. Big stuff happened here, and the matches were pretty good. Unfortunately, it was dragged down by some stinkers. Just a few, but boy were they bad. Here is my full review of this weeks edition of Smackdown Live!

New Day vs. The Revival & Randy Orton: Holy crap, we started with a match! Wild, it feels weird but good. Big E started out with Dash Wilder, and immediately started to beat down the heel with clubbing blows to the chest and a splash on the apron for a near fall. Kofi was tagged in, and after some swift bending the rules, the heels took control and beat him down a bit. However, the New Day hit some of their tag team offense on Orton, with Woods and Big E taking down the Revival. During the commercial, The Revival isolated Woods and started to work over his knee. At one point, Woods tried to hit his slingshot DDT, but Wilder caught him and tossed him out over the top rope, which Orton followed up by back body dropping him on the announce table. We went to commercial again, and Kingston received a hot tag as we came back. He Took down everyone, before giving Orton an SOS for a near fall. On the outside, Big E flattened Dawson with a lariat, while Wilder nailed Big E with a tornado DDT and then swept Woods’ leg, only to eat a dropkick from Kingston. He went for a suicide dive, but Orton intercepted him and gave him a hangman’s DDT. The heels then went for the RKO machine, but Big E pulled Orton out and pushed him into the post. Woods then took out Wilder with a Limit Breaker, and Kingston pinned Dawson after a Trouble in Paradise.

As the New Day celebrated, Brock Lesnar showed up! Things were very intense, but the crowd didn’t pop big. Lesnar and Kingston stared each other down, and Kingston told Woods and Big E to leave. Heyman then got on the mic, and said that Lesnar wanted to challenge for the WWE Championship, and they booked it for the Friday Night Smackdown premier rather than for a pay per view. Kingston accepted, and Lesnar gave him an F5, which was sold beautifully. 

Grade: B+. The match was good, some fun action to open up the show. Love to see this show open up like that. Plus it was a pretty decisive victory, and feels like the feud is probably over. I was only going to give this a B, but I was really excited for the challenge from Brock Lesnar, although the crowd gave 0 craps. I think it was really fun, and is a huge main event for the first Fox show. Very good opening this week. 

Sasha Banks & Bayley Interview: Banks responded to Becky Lynch’s challenge inside Hell in a Cell.  Then Baylyey hopped in and said that although Banks was fighting Charlotte tonight, she didn’t want to talk about it. This promo was weird and kinda overdone. It was odd, just odd. 

Erick Rowan Sit Down interview: They gave Rowan his first name again! Fun. Michael Cole conducted the interview. He asked about Luke Harper, which Rowan responded to by saying if he wanted to know his story, talk to him. Then Cole asked about the attacks on Reigns, to which Rowan said he wanted to scare him. Cole loudly exclaimed “You tried to kill him!” And Rowan told him to watch his tone. Rowan then said that he was sick of being disrespected, so he took the chance he needed. Cole asked about why Rowan betrayed Daniel Bryan, and Rowan said that Bryan disrespected him. This was short, and all I could think about was how Cole was asking super biased questions. I know journalism, and this was bad journalism. 

Ali vs. Shinsuke Nakamura: Before the match, Sami Zayn demanded respect for him, since he is in a lot of pain. He hyped up Nakamura, and introduced him. He then told Ali that although he beat Nakamura a few weeks ago, he’d lose here. Ali was very nervous as Nakamura and Zayn surrounded him. Ali attacked Nakamura first, but Zayn held his leg and allowed Nakamura to attack him. Nakamura took Ali out with a Kinshasa. The match did not start. 

Grade: B. Fun little fight to get Nakamura over a bit. He and Zayn are fun together. This was effective and short, very efficient. I liked it, But it sucks that Ali had to be sacrificed here. 

Shane McMahon backstage: Owens walked into the building, took a seat in the audience. Shane was going to take care of it, but one of Owens’ lawyers served him. Huh, alright. 

Shane McMahon promo: Shane came out wth a whole bunch of security guards, and the papers. Shane told Owens to get in the ring and tried to settle it there. So Owens walked to the ring, but security stood between him and Shane. I guess the lawsuit was wrongful termination, worth 25 million. Shane called the case weak, but Owens said that it was strong. Owens pointed out that when he was fined for attacking a referee (Elias), but Shane didn’t fine himself when he attacked Owens’ last week, while he was the ref. He then said that even with the ref in his corner, Shane couldn’t win, and tapped out. So now, Owens just wants to hurt him, and wants to hit him in the wallet. He also said that part of the suit was that if he wins, he will be able to fire Shane. Then Owens walked out as Shane looked at the suit. 

Grade: C-. Why is Owens supposed to be badass, and yet he solves his problems with lawsuits? If he was a tough as nails son of a bitch, like Steve Austin who they are desperately trying to model him after, he would’ve walked right through security and beat Shane’s ass. A lawsuit isn’t awesome or exciting. But given that I enjoy soap opera stuff, I can’t bring myself to give it lower that C-. I think this is damaging to the badass Owens, but I’m kinda intrigued. This could be an interesting storyline, but I doubt anyone else will agree. 

Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks: Some guy come out, who I guess was a rapper. I think he is the Ric Flair drip guy? Maybe? I dunno. He just brought out Charlotte, and then fist bumped her. Bayley came out with Banks, and actually helped distract Charlotte and gave Banks control early on. When we came back from commercial break, Charlotte started to fight back with a series of kicks and chops to banks, finishing with a fall away slam. The two continued to fight, and Flair locked in a Boston Crab, but Banks pulled her into a rollup for a near fall. Charlotte then put Banks on the apron and kicked Banks to the outside. She then climbed to the rope and nailed both Banks and Bayley with a moonsault. She tried to capitalize, but Bayley held her foot, which got Banks a rollup for a near fall. Banks then tried for another, but Charlotte rolled through and went for the Figure Four, but Bayley ran in to attack for the DQ. 

Bayley and Banks continued to beat up Flair, but Carmella showed up and superkicked Bayley, who looked shock. Flair got the last hit in on her, and the faces stood tall. 

Grade: B. Another pretty good match, but I bumped it up just a bit into a B because of them establishing Bayley’s next challenger. Carmella makes sense considering how much the fans like her after the R-Truth stuff, but that doesn’t mean the match will be great. We will have to see about that. But I think that Charlotte should’ve lost here, just to give Banks some momentum. People need to get wins to get over, and Banks could use a real win. 

Baron Corbin Coronation: He put on the whole getup as Corey Graves raved about him on commentary. Corbin then got on the mic and put himself order. Then he brought out Chad Gable, and made some short jokes. Corbin said that he was just like the fans, because he will always come up short. Gable then slammed him through the throne and beat him with the scepter. Gable then ripped up the cloak and smashed the crown. 

Grade: D+. I really wanted to like this more, but I am worried about what destroying all the props means. They may just ditch the king gimmick this time around, and that would suck. I also hated the short jokes, those are stupid. I’m fine with these two feuding, and I’m fine with the one short joke where he “dreams big but comes up short,” but the rest of it was bad. I really hope that King Corbin is still a thing, because that’d be a waste of a tournament. 

The B-team vs. Heavy Machinery: Tucker and Curtis Axel started things off. Tucker just tossed Axel around for a bit, and the B-Team (who I think are heel now?) double teamed him a bit and tried to keep him on the mat. Knight got the hot tag after rolling over Bo Dallas’ back and delivering a huge lariat. Otis then got hot tag, and he was in trunks, which looked very.... different. He beat up Dallas a bit and they hit the compactor for the win.

Grade: C+. Squash-o-roony.

Daniel Bryan Promo: He quickly crapped on the fans for accusing him of attacking Roman Reigns. He said that he still didn’t attack him, and declared himself exonerated. Then he said that he saw Rowan and realized that he had talent and took him under his wing as Tag Team Champions. He saw Rowan as his equal (yikes) and treated him as a friend. Rowan then came out, no Luke Harper in sight, with a mic. He said that he never felt like an equal, he felt like a puppet. Bryan never asked what he felt about things, and said he wouldn’t be disrespected. Bryan then told him to do something about it, because he already destroyed their friendship, and he couldn’t do anything worse. So, Harper ran in from behind and they kicked Bryan’s ass a bit, but then Roman walked down as Bryan was hit with an Iron claw. He dodged Harper and gave Rowan a superman punch and beat him down, but Harper quickly got ahold of him and they beat Reigns up together. They double powerbombed him into the post, and tore up the padding to expose the concrete. Security tried to stop them, but Harper kicked their asses. Then Rowan grabbed a section of the barricade and nailed Reigns with it, before clearing the announce table and giving Bryan a double high cross through it. The heels stood tall as they closed out the show.

Grade: B+. This was a fun segment that was pretty exciting, and seems to show where things will go from here. This is almost a Daniel Bryan face turn, but I don’t think he has fully turned face just yet. He is gonna probably be kinda heel until he and Reigns have a tag match against Rowan and Harper. This was a really fun segment, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes. Highlight of the night. 

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: 6-man tag; Nakamura beat down; charlotte vs. Banks; ending beatdown

Cons: lawsuit angle; coronation

[meanderfall]

thank you my love!! ^v^

(lmao i finally did it @solienna... it’s been like months but i finally completed this. also if you’re wondering, when i first tried to answer the original ask, it wouldn’t save any of what i’d written as a draft, so i just started a new post lol)

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

Flaws (acoustic) by Bastille

Wait For It from Hamilton

Here Comes the Rain Again by Eurythmics

3. three songs you were recently obsessed with

World in my Pocket by The Unlikely Candidates

The Darker the Weather, the Better the Man by MISSIO

Walk Me Home by P!NK

8. three songs that remind you most of summer and vacation

this is probably a weird choice but The Kids Aren’t Alright. I honestly don’t know why, it just gives me summer vibes.

Taste by Sleeping at Last (probably bc i listened to this A LOT while playing stardew valley and stardew gives me summer vibes)

Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

(this section was so hard.... there are like 0 songs that i actually associate with summer and vacation. literally the only way i do is if i discover said song and listen to a lot around the time summer starts)

11. three favourite songs from movie or TV series soundtrack

What’s Up Danger By Blackway & Black Caviar

I’m Still Standing by Taron Egerton

The Cyborg Fights (Genos’ theme from One-Punch Man. It’s an instrumental piece, and it goes off).

12. three favourite songs from video games

i fucking hate you adri, so much, i never listen to video game soundtracks, you fool, i have nothing to offer you

Klavier’s theme from Ace Attorney! Called Guilty Love lmao

I played Night in the Woods recently, and I think my two favourite pieces were Astral Alley (it plays during a dream sequence and i literally fucked around doing nothing for a bit just to listen to this. It’s so peaceful, but there’s something also... wistful or sad about it, that i just love.) 

and Dusk Stars! (That one plays while stargazing with a professor as a sidequest and tbh it was one of my favourite parts of the game. Surprisingly wholesome, and the last bit really struck a cord with me.)

13. three songs you want at your funeral

Saturn by Sleeping at Last

I Lived by One Republic

Pieces by Harbor and Home (low-key this song is practically a narrative for my life and for once it’s just comforting)

14. three songs you want at your wedding

Bright by Echosmith

Lovesong by Adele

Meaning of Life by Kelly Clarkson

(i don’t.... listen to happy love songs.... i was just going through my library of romantic songs and i was like “this is too pop, this is too angsty, this is pre-relationship, etc. etc”.)

15. three songs you want to dance with your love to

Fly Me to the Moon

Turn Time Off

Anna Sun by Walk the Moon (tbh this song gives me a very specific image of like moving into a new home with my lover and this song is playing while we’re unpacking, or even just any high energy song, and we end up pausing unpacking long enough to dance silly together and sing the song and it ends with us like hugging with a peck for good measure and life seems so good and perfect)

18. three songs that remind you of your best friend

Budapest (legit bc she showed me this song and was like “i think you would like this!” and you bet your ass i would love that song even if it was trash)

Another Night on Mars

Trouble is a Friend by Lenka (why? i legitimately don’t know. Especially since she’s the sweetest and most peaceful person ever. Then again she is a junkrat main.... never mind it makes sense)

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure

Waters of Megalovania

Jessie’s Girl (this is like. the quintessential chad complaining about being friend-zoned, but i jam out to it every time, and im sucker for jealousy and unrequited love)

I Don’t Even Care About You by MISSIO for the days when im angry or having a bad day or more annoyed than usual at people trying to interact with me, and I just want to indulge in my old cynicism and hatred of the world in general

20. three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one

False Confidence by Noah Kahan

Hate That You Know Me by the Bleachers

Happy by Marina and the Diamonds

21. three songs of your childhood

oh boy adri, i was an angsty kid. I also tried to keep this specifically to songs I listened to before the age of ten just bc in my head my childhood was pretty much from the ages 3 to ~9, and honestly corresponds to a very specific period in my life

Because of You by Kelly Clarkson

Pieces by Sum 41

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

All We Do by Oh Wonder

All the King’s Horses by Karmina

SoLow by Keegan Calmes

(this selection was actually hard bc there are... a surprising amount tbh and that probably isnt a good thing lol)

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

How Far We’ve Come by Matchbox Twenty

High on Humans by Oh Wonder

Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon (to the surprise of exactly no one. This song came out five years ago and it’s STILL my feel good song, even when i feel terrible)

(this was also a hard choice because i got so many feel good, pump me up songs as well, which i guess??? balances out the amount of sad songs i know and love??)

24. three favourite old songs

lmao how old are we talking here? early 2000s? before that? 1950s? i’ll just go with some goodies

Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer (OKAY SO. this is low-key an all-time favourite of mine and that i relate(d) to a LOT as the person he’s singing about.)

Africa by Toto (damn fucking right im putting it adri!!!)

For What It’s Worth by Buffalo Springfield

26. three favourite non-English songs

Alles Neu by Peter Fox (for once not a lyrics video, bc the official video is part of the Experience for this song)

The Narrow Street by Shin-Yong Woo (aka Jumin’s voice actor. This is simultaneously a huge mood, and gives me feels for my husband)

Little Traveler by clear (the only vocaloid song i know! im truly a sucker for The Little Prince though, the novel that inspired this song)

(be proud of me adri, this section could’ve been nothing but japanese songs, a good portion just from anime.)

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

im not gonna lie, a lot of these songs were kind of taken by the childhood ones but lemme see if i can scrounge up any others

In a Big Country by Big Country

Stand by Rascal Flatts

Better Get to Livin’ by Dolly Parton

(As you know, I listen to the first one A LOT, pretty much every time I get into sad mood and want some comfort, but the other two, i sort of forget about, even though i remember these songs being super important to me when i was younger. And re-listening to these now is... kind of crazy tbh, and bringing up all sorts of memories. I will say, perhaps i should give younger me more credit for how hard she was trying to heal and be a better person, just based on these songs lol)

30. three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

Lemme see, im gonna give you guys some songs that I internally categorize as late night songs. The songs that make you feel like you’re listening to it at 2 am on a Saturday night, and reality feels just a little bit shifted, and everything feels deeper, more meaningful

Sloppy Seconds by Watsky

Shrike by Hozier

Hurricane by Reuben and the Dark

Sunflower by Post Malone, Swae Lee

+Bonus. Three songs I can listen to, no matter what my mood

Muscle Memory (Acoustic) by Lights. No joke, even on days where i feel like any song is going to irritate the fuck out of me and im sick of listening to music and the emotions they evoke, i can listen to this and immediately feel better

It’s Alright by Mother Mother (legit whenever it shows up in my recommended i smash that mf play button no matter what. it’s like one of, if not the only, song that matches the screaming in my head.)

You’re Somebody Else by flora cash (same as the two above tbh)

[lilacmoon83]

Finding You Always

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 135: Duality

Snow and Eva trekked through the woods and found a good tree as a target, before putting their stuff down.

"This looks like a good place," Eva said, as they readied their bows. They spent several arrows from their quivers and shared a smile when they finished the first round.

"I've missed moments like this...spending time with one of my babies," Snow mentioned.

"Me too, Mom," Eva replied.

"So...how are things with you and Paul?" Snow asked, as they collected their arrows.

"Mom…" she chided, but knew her mother simply couldn't help herself.

"You know I can't help myself. Besides, you and Paul did share true love's kiss back in that warped world Isaac created. That's kind of a big deal, honey. Things have just been so crazy non-stop that we never really got a chance to talk," Snow mentioned. Eva nodded.

"Things are great...it's a bit surreal sometimes," Eva replied.

"What do you mean?" Snow asked in confusion.

"Well, I mean...I guess I always thought that just because I came from a true love as amazing as what you and Daddy have, I knew there was never a guarantee that I'd find it myself," she replied. Snow smiled.

"But you did...and don't negate how important that moment was for you and Paul," she added, as she put a hand on her shoulder.

"Remember, there was a time when I didn't believe in true love at all. I thought it was all a lie when I was living as a bandit, just trying to survive," she reminded.

"Then Daddy found you," Eva said. She nodded.

"Mmm...it took us a while to find our way to each other and stop denying what we both knew we wanted," she said, as she trailed off for a moment.

"What is it, Mom?" Eva asked. Snow recalled that moment in the woodcutter's mobile dungeon when she had held his arm back and allowed the stranger to dispatch him, saving her life. But that man was no stranger and she remembered the connection she felt when their hands brushed briefly. Her husband had saved her life, long before he even knew it. Her encounter that day with him had led her to change her course completely. She had planned to leave the Kingdom that day, possibly for a new life across the vast ocean and beyond the Queen's reach. But he had changed her decision that day. Their encounter had changed her mind and she decided to stay and fight, even though the Blue Fairy had warned her about the bad things that could happen if she did not leave. Bad things had happened, but more good and bad, for finding herself in that net months later was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"Mom?" Eva asked, breaking through her reverie.

"Sorry sweetheart...I was just thinking about all we've been through and I realize that even the bad was all worth it. True love is worth fighting for," she assured. Eva nodded.

"I know...I just wonder sometimes if I'm strong enough. You and Daddy have fought so hard and you're still fighting, this time because of some mad scientist that keeps trying to find love in all the wrong places. How do you do it, Mom?" Eva asked curiously. Snow sighed.

"Well, I may seem all put together right now, but I'll be honest, honey. I was a mess last night. I tossed and turned all night...your father probably didn't get any sleep either. We both felt a little helpless and we hate that. We don't do helpless well at all," she mentioned.

"But I find hope and love every time your father kisses me or touches me. I find hope and love every time I look at you and your sisters and brothers. To be honest, Jekyll's infatuation with me is puzzling, because he knows he has no chance. It has seemed to only make him more determined," Snow explained.

"He certainly fooled everyone at first into thinking he was harmless. But you know Daddy. He'll find him and lock him up. He's the hero in your story, not Jekyll," Eva reminded. Snow smiled. Her daughter was so right. Charming was the hero of her story and no one could ever replace him. Jekyll had his chance to find his own story, more than once, and had blown it each time by turning to the darkness.

Snow smiled and cuddled the baby and her daughter close.

"You're right, your father will always be my hero, in any world," Snow agreed, as her phone rang. She saw it was Regina and immediately answered.

"Hey Regina…" she greeted, but her smile faded into a frown.

"She did what?" Snow exclaimed, as her mouth hung ajar and Regina continued to explain the newest predicament.

"Hang on...Eva is with me. We'll be right there," Snow said, as she hung up the phone and looked at her daughter.

"We need to get to the hospital and fast. You're never going to believe this," Snow said, as they hurried back through the woods toward town.

It had been a relaxing day so far. Robin may not have been exactly himself, but after breakfast, they had gone horseback riding and then had lunch at Granny's. It felt almost like a typical family day for them, so she shouldn't have been surprised when her sister showed up to make sure it all went to hell.

Zelena showed up on her door, knocking frantically just a few moments ago. And if it hadn't been for the round bulge in her stomach, Regina would have slammed the door in her face.

"Zelena...what the hell?" she demanded to know.

"Please help me...she did something to me," the redhead pleaded.

"You want me to help you? Seriously?" Regina hissed.

"Regina...please," Zelena begged, as another contraction ripped through her and her legs nearly buckled.

"What kind of trick is this?" Regina demanded.

"It's no trick...I'm pregnant, barely a few days along and now I'm this!" Zelena tried to explain through the pain.

"The Queen…" Regina realized, as she brought her into the house. Robin was stunned when he saw the state she was in as well, but there was no time for them to process what was happening.

Regina magicked all of them to the hospital and chaos erupted around them. Paul was shocked to say the least when they wheeled a very pregnant Zelena into the delivery room.

"How the hell did his happen? I didn't even know she was pregnant," he exclaimed.

"It just happened and then the Queen used some kind of magic to accelerate it. There was no way she would want to wait nine months to throw this in my face," Regina replied bitterly. Paul gave her a sympathetic gaze.

"I'm sorry," he offered. She nodded and looked at her stunned husband.

"Robin…" she started to say.

"What do I do?" he asked. Regina felt her heart pulse with an aching.

"You need to be with her...that's your child," she urged. But he surprised her and took her hand.

"I need you there too…" he said, as they went into the delivery room.

"Arghh...it hurts! Can't you make it stop?!" Zelena cried.

"I'm afraid it's a little late for an epidural. Your water just broke," Paul responded, as Eva rushed into the room with Snow behind her and the witch glared murderously at the raven haired princess.

"Get her out of here!" she cried.

"None of this is Snow's fault...the Queen did this to you!" Regina snapped.

"But she...she started all of this! Oh, I can't wait until the Queen finally makes you pay, you little retch!" Zelena screamed.

"I'll watch Roland," Snow offered, as she held Bobby and went out into the hallway where Roland was waiting.

"Come on sweetheart, let's go get you a snack," she suggested, as he took her hand and they went to the cafeteria.

The morning search for Jekyll so far had yielded no results. Even more frustrating, James and Aphrodite had seemingly disappeared into thin air. The locator potion that Emma and Xander used failed completely. They knew that didn't mean they were dead necessarily, but only that some other kind of magic was blocking them.

Leo and Chad were tracking and had reported that they thought Wilby might have a scent, but had yet to report back yet. In the meantime, David and Emma got a call from Gold about a break-in at the shop. He was unsure off the top of his head what was missing, but demanded they find the culprit straight away.

They knew that if someone had broken into the Pawn Shop and had not been vaporized by any of Gold's magical protections, then they knew what they were doing.

"I can't believe that creepy doctor. I swear, the moment I get my hands on him, he's getting another punch in the face," Emma promised, as they trekked through the woods. David chuckled.

"I'll gladly let you...he's definitely mentally unstable. You know, his admiration of your mother unnerved me from the moment he stepped through that portal. But even I didn't peg him to go as far as to drug a woman and try to assault her," he lamented.

"Dad...he is not touching Mom and from the sounds of the story, hopefully Rose Red found Fandral and they escaped Jekyll's reach. This is one monster that we're going to lock up in a padded room," Emma assured.

"I know...he's smart though, Em. Really smart...I feel like a physical fight isn't going to work with him. He's the type that can outsmart me at every turn," David said worriedly.

"Dad...you are not stupid, far from it. He may be a super genius, but you and Mom have the one thing on your side that so far no villain has been able to defeat," she reminded, as she looked at him. He smiled slightly.

"Love," he said knowingly.

"Exactly and for all his book smarts that you and I both lack, I happen to be a pretty good strategist when it comes to battle and one guess as to where I learned that," she added, as she looked him fondly.

"I don't know, your Mom is pretty good at it too," he reminded and she lightly nudged his arm.

"Stop...I'm trying to talk you up here," she retorted. He smiled.

"I know...thanks Em. It's just...not really the first time I've been made to feel like I might not be good enough for your Mother," he muttered.

"Daddy…" she chided, pulling out all the stops with the title that she knew was an instant way to melt him.

"You are everything to Mom...and to us! You are an amazing husband to Mom. You're also the best Dad any kid could ever have and believe me, I feel like I can be an authority on that," she reminded. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

"I know...I still hate that those first ten years you went through what you did," he lamented. She smiled.

"I had hope though, because of the book and my blanket. And then I found you," she said. He smiled.

"You did," he agreed.

"But enough about me, how are you doing lately? Your Mom mentioned that you had a couple of dreams," he inquired. She shook her head.

"They were nothing...just memories of a few times they tried to put me in therapy, you know, because of the whole "My parents are Snow White and Prince Charming thing," she replied.

"I can't imagine trying to deal with people from outside Storybrooke all the time. I mean, those two FBI agents literally saw full scale magic in front of their eyes and were still skeptical," he mentioned. She nodded.

"I know...I don't even know why those memories surfaced all the sudden," she replied. He glanced at her.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. She gave him a look and he shrugged.

"You and I are A LOT alike, Em," he emphasized.

"To quote your Mother, to a frustrating level," he added. She sighed.

"I'm fine...I guess with the Queen back, it just got to me a bit finally. I guess I'm scared of losing you and Mom. I mean, there was crazy Drizella Tremaine and then the dreamshade poison in Neverland. Then Atlantis and Zelena and Camelot and then the Underworld...I thought that one really might be it. And now some crazy mad doctor is fixated on Mom and the Evil Queen is intent on making her suffer," Emma lamented.

"Hey...I know this family has been through more than any family should ever have to endure. But we're going to get through this...together," he assured. She nodded.

"I know...and I haven't had another dream since that one. I talked to Killian and he offered kind of the same perspective; that it was just my subconscious worrying about going back to the life I had before I found you and Mom. But I know that wouldn't happen," she responded. He nodded and sighed.

"So Killian...you guys seem like you're getting close," he mentioned.

"Oh God...are we really going to go there?" she asked.

"I know, but you know, you're my little Princess and no one is ever going to be good enough for you," he replied stubbornly.

"Do I have to remind you that my little sister is also dating?" she teased.

"Yeah, I really don't want to talk about that," he grumbled.

"You like Paul and Killian, I know you do," she said, casting him a sideways glance.

"Paul is a good man...and Killian's kind of grown on me, I guess," he grumbled. She let out a laugh.

"Yeah, he has that effect of people," she teased and he gave her a withering look.

"It would just help if he wasn't a three-hundred year old pirate sometimes," he complained.

"Well, to be fair, Paul should actually be pushing fifty," she reminded. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I really really don't wanna talk about this," he complained and she giggled.

"Oh Daddy...Eva and I may both have men in our lives, but you're always going to be Daddy and we're always going to need you," she assured, as she held onto his arm.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Pinky swear," she answered, as she hooked her pinky with his. He was about to say something again when he heard faint footfalls. Emma heard them too and they stopped dead in their tracks. He looked at the large tree trunk on their right and she nodded to him, as they split their defenses.

Sure enough, a hooded figure ran from behind the tree and through the woods. Emma ran after the person and tackled them to the ground.

"Get off me...I didn't do anything!" a female voice cried.

"Oh yeah? Cause I'm thinking that you're the person we're looking for that broke into the Pawn Shop. Gotta say, you've got guts. Gold has fried people for way less than stealing from him," she warned, as she cuffed the beautiful dark haired woman. David picked up her satchel and pulled out an intriguing sword.

"Let me guess, this isn't yours," he said, but she only glared at him, as he pulled out a second item.

"A genie lamp?" he asked curiously.

"I need it…" she pleaded.

"Wishes always come with consequences, you know that, right?" he asked.

"What would you know about it?" she hissed.

"More than you think. My wife's father once found a genie lamp and let's just say, it didn't turn out well for him," David replied.

"I need it...to find my missing Kingdom," she begged.

"Missing Kingdom...who are you?" Emma asked.

"Jasmine?" a new voice asked. They looked over, instantly recognizing the unique accent.

"Aladdin?" she exclaimed.

"You're back…" David said, as the former street rat rushed to Jasmine's side.

"Come on David...why the cuffs?" he asked.

"Well, she kind of stole from Gold's shop. But I'm guessing there's a much bigger story behind all this," David replied, as he made the decision and removed the cuffs.

"Thank you…" Aladdin said, before turning his attention to Jasmine.

"And you...breaking into Rumpelstiltskin's shop? The hell were you thinking? If he caught you, who knows what he would have done," Aladdin scolded.

"Excuse me for trying to find a way to save Agrabah! What the hell have you been doing? Running away again?!" she shouted.

"That's not fair! I got scared, but I was going to come back when I realized I couldn't leave you and Agrabah behind. But then...I got caught up in the Dark Curse. My father and I went back to the Enchanted Forest though to try to find you and Agrabah," he shouted back.

"But you couldn't," she said knowingly.

"No...it's gone. I don't know how it's possible, but it's gone," he replied.

"It's my fault...I failed the Kingdom. Jafar did something...that's why I stole the lamp," Jasmine explained.

"Is that why you two came back here? Because Agrabah was gone?" Emma asked. Cassim nodded.

"We realm hopped for a while with what beans we had, trying to find a way back to Storybrooke. And then on our last bean, we ended up in another Enchanted Forest," the elder man explained.

"Yeah...thought we were going to be stuck, but then we ran into a couple of people that helped us find Storybrooke again," Aladdin added, as they moved and revealed that there were three more people with them. Emma gasped, for if she didn't know any better, she would have sworn she was looking at her parents.

"You're…" she started to say.

"Rose Red and Fandral," David finished.

"You know us?" Rose asked curiously.

"Oh, when the people from the Land of Untold Stories came to our town on the Dirigible, it came with a book of stories. Yours is one of them and my wife and I have been reading it," David replied.

"Rose and Fandral provided us a direct path to Storybrooke via the Bi-Frost," Cassim informed.

"Seriously...the Bi-Frost is real?" Emma asked in amazement. Fandral smiled.

"Quite real. We decided to accompany your friends when we heard Jekyll and Hyde had left the Land of Untold Stories," Fandral explained.

"And we knew we needed to come, especially after Aladdin told us of your wife's resemblance to me. He was quite upset when we escaped him and I couldn't knowingly rest if there was a chance that he might fixate on another," Rose added.

"I'm afraid he has. Our son it actually out trying to track his whereabouts now, but Jekyll has teamed up with the Evil Queen. It's a long story, but I'm afraid he's now fixated on Snow," David explained.

"It seems we have much to sort out then. Perhaps there is a better place?" Cassim asked. David nodded.

"Yes...let's go back to town. I'll call Snow on the way," he said, as they led the way back.

Regina couldn't believe it. This morning, she had breakfast with Robin and Roland in their home. And now she was standing in a hospital room where her sister had just given birth to Robin's child. A baby girl...a baby girl that he was holding. He was in shock and awe, but she could see the wonder on his face.

Snow had offered to take Roland home with her, but she politely declined and held his little hand, as he peered down at his new sister.

"She's beautiful," Regina offered and he smiled at her.

"This all seems so impossible…" he said.

"You think it's impossible for you...I was barely pregnant yesterday and now I'm a mother," she uttered. Regina gave her a stiff look.

"The Queen did this for a reason, Zelena," Regina interjected. As she said that, the Queen appeared in a puff of purple smoke.

"Speak of the devil," Regina growled, but her counterpart ignored her and peered down at the baby.

"Ah, I see the little bundle of joy is here," she cooed, but Robin pulled his daughter away from her. She frowned.

"Don't be rude...let her Auntie get to know her," she demanded. Regina stepped forward to intercept her, but the Queen's magic tossed her back against a wall. Robin was unable to move, as the Queen gently took the tiny pink bundle from her arms.

"Why did you do this?" Regina demanded. The Queen smirked.

"Oh, I didn't do this," she said, indicating the child.

"That was all Zelena and Robin," she added, enjoying the pain on Regina's face.

"You pretended to be Marian...I would have never…" he said vehemently, but stopped short of actually saying the words.

"Believe me, I didn't have much interest in you either," Zelena retorted.

"No...but you knew how much it would hurt me, so I'm sure part of you delighted in it," Regina spat. Zelena smirked.

"A bit...though the whole baby thing was pretty unexpected and I'm a bit miffed that you decided to magically move the whole thing along," the wicked witch replied, as she cast a withering glance at the Queen.

"I'm impatient. I wanted to meet my niece," she cooed.

"No...you wanted to twist another knife in me," Regina refuted. The Queen smirked.

"Well, there is that bonus. But I assure you, my revenge is far from complete," she added.

"I think we can be much more comfortable elsewhere," the Queen decided, as she, the baby, and Zelena's bed disappeared from the room. The loss on Robin's face was palpable and despair threatened to swallow Regina. She vaguely wondered if this was karma's way of paying her back for all she had done in the past. She had ripped Snow and Charming apart and with that Emma from them. Now she was forced to watch part of herself do the exact same thing to Robin, the man she loved. Snow, Charming, and Emma had long forgiven her, but could Robin truly forgive her for everything when he got his memories back? Could he forgive her for her part in cursing him with false memories, sleeping with someone else essentially against his will, and her part in the death of the real Marian. Could he forgive her for her part in any future trauma his daughter might have to endure with Zelena as a mother and the Queen still lurking since there was no known way to rejoin them. Or would this be the line that was drawn on forgiveness?

Snow heard the door open, but had felt Charming getting closer to home long before he walked through the door. Summer ran to him and she followed with Eva beside her.

"Daddy!" Summer called, as he scooped her up and kissed her hair. His free arm went around Snow's waist and they sought each other's lips. Snow kissed him desperately, as Bobby cooed between them. As their lips parted, their eyes met and they spoke without words. He knew the Queen's attempts to wreck havoc in their lives and Jekyll's persistence was wearing on her, but his determination and resolve to protect her had never been stronger. He kissed her again, just as his father arrived behind their guests.

"Cassim?" he called.

"Xander," Cassim said, as they shared a brotherly handshake. Snow and David's lips parted, but he held her close, as he turned to their guests.

"You're back," Snow greeted them. Aladdin nodded.

"Then you must be Jasmine...you found her," Snow said, as hope returned to her voice.

"Not exactly…" Aladdin responded, causing her to frown.

"He couldn't find me, because I've been in the Land of Untold Stories up until Hyde brought us here," Jasmine explained.

"My father and I couldn't find a trace of Agrabah, so we realm hopped until we ran out of beans trying to get back to Storybrooke. Fortunately, we found a bit of help getting a direct path here," Aladdin added, as he gestured to the people behind him and Snow finally saw them with gasp.

"You're here…" she uttered.

"Snow White, I presume?" Rose asked. She nodded.

"And your Rose Red…" Snow answered, as both women seemed absorbed by the fact that they were nearly identical, despite Snow's hair being shorter.

"Wow...this is trippy," Leo commented, as he filed in behind them with his animals.

"Perhaps formal introductions are in order?" Fandral suggested.

"Of course. I think you've guessed by now that I'm Snow White and this is my husband David, or Charming as I like to call him," she said, as she took his hand.

"This is David's father, Xander. Our daughter Emma, our twins, Leo and Eva, our youngest children, Summer and Bobby," Snow said. Rose and Fandral looked at them incredulously.

"They're all yours?" Fandral asked. David smirked.

"That's another long story," he replied.

"A story I think we'd eventually like to hear, I'm sure. For now, allow me to introduce my family. I'm Fandral, formerly of Asgard and now Prince consort to Queen Rose Red. And this little one is our tiny angel, Princess Carina," he introduced. Snow smiled.

"It's wonderful to meet you both...I feel like I know you just from reading your story," she said. The other raven haired beauty smiled.

"Aladdin brushed on your story a bit. I only hope you'll regale Fandral and I of some of your adventures as well," Rose replied. Snow nodded.

"First thing is first though...did you find anything?" David asked their son.

"Uh yeah…I think I know where he is. That's not the problem though," Leo said, as he held up his hand and they saw what looked like burn marks on his hand and forearm.

"Honey...what happened?" Snow asked in concern.

"I'm okay...but Zelena's farmhouse is protected by a shield. I think it's powered by the same energy that Jekyll used to build that baton we used on Hyde," Leo said, wincing. He was trying to hide his pain from his mother, but she saw right through it. Her face had gone even paler and the tears gathered in her eyes. She walked over to the covered mirror that they had in their entryway and pulled sheet away from it.

"Is it not bad enough that you stalk me and insult my husband last night, but now you're harmed my son?" she cried.

"Mom...I'm okay, don't give that bastard the satisfaction," Leo pleaded. David put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back.

"He's right, my darling," he assured, as he pulled her into his arms. Emma covered the mirror again.

"He's looking upon you from mirrors?" Rose asked.

"He's teamed up with the Evil Queen and mirrors are power to her. She can use any reflective surface to spy if she wants to," David explained. Rose glanced at her husband.

"We were right to come...it's far more serious than we thought," she murmured to him. He nodded.

"Have you seen Hyde?" she asked.

"Here and there. He's teamed up with the Queen as well, but to what end, we don't really know," Xander responded.

"Hyde may listen to me, but Jekyll will continue to grow more unstable, I'm sure," Rose offered.

"We got to the part of your story when he saved you, but not much further than that. Obviously you managed to find each other though," David mentioned. They smiled.

"Perhaps we can regale the rest of the tale," Fandral offered. Snow nodded and motioned them into the living room.

"It's best we hear the whole story and then find a way into the farmhouse. The sooner we can lock up the doctor, the better," Emma mentioned.

"And find James and Aphrodite," Xander added. Chad looked down, feeling a bit of relief that they automatically assumed that their disappearance was related to Jekyll or the Queen. He felt the slight twinge in his heart. The Black Fairy was impatient and he didn't know how much longer he could hold her off. He clutched Leo's hand, knowing that he would soon be forced to shatter his heart and his own alike. And there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop it…

Jekyll's eyes locked on her, as she appeared in the mirror. He imagined tasting the tears on her skin and what it might be like. He was long past trying to keep the demons inside his head at bay. These days, his fantasies that he normally would not allow to be entertained were unrepentantly clouding his mind. This was the reason he had worked so hard to rid himself of Hyde. He had long been convinced that Hyde was the reason for his depravity and possessive nature. He was so sure that once he permanently separated himself from that demon that he would return to being a purer man; that he would no longer desire to fulfill such evil indulgences. How he had fooled himself, for the moment he and Hyde became two people, the goodness in him dwindled. It started slowly at first and he truly believed that what he had for Snow White was simply a healthy admiration for the beautiful, brilliant woman she was.

Then it began to evolve into more. He started thinking about her more and more. And then, he had been privileged to spend an entire day with her, working in his lab.

That had been where the downward spiral began, for once the day ended and he realized that was it, he simply could not accept it. Life had been so unfair to him that way. He was giving her a way to subdue Hyde and yet he still wasn't seen as the hero. He had given her the means, yet he was sure that once the Prince used the serum to dispatch Hyde, he would reap all the glory and be showered with Snow White's affections.

He had done this...he had manipulated the situation to keep them from working together again and he had never wanted to make someone pay more than he wanted Prince Charming to pay. Snow feared him now, all because of Rose Red and her cruel rejection of him. He could not deny that her fear excited him though and thoughts of having her invaded his mind. If only she could see how good they would be together, the brilliance they could gift to people. But as long as she was wrapped in that handsome idiot's arms, she'd never see what he could show her. Getting to her with him around was almost impossible...but if he was taken out of the equation, then that would be a different story. She would have no choice but to see then what they could be. Oh, the images of her nearly bare form and what it would be like to touch her filled his mind again. The fear in her eyes would be quite thrilling, but then once he showed her what they were like together, she would see the truth; that she belonged at his side.

"Fantasizing again about what shall never be yours again, Doctor?" Hyde questioned, as he strode into the basement lab.

"What do you want?" Jekyll snapped.

"To warn you that this path is foolhardy," Hyde responded.

"And what do you care of what becomes of me?" Jekyll spat.

"Need I remind you, Doctor, that your fate is intertwined with mine. I do not fancy meeting my end, because you are unable to keep your delusions of having what you cannot at bay," Hyde spat in return. He glared at his counterpart.

"You know very well that you poisoned Rose Red against me! Had you not interfered, she would have eventually forgotten Fandral and fallen for me!" Jekyll growled.

"You mean after you sent hunters after his cursed form to kill him?" Hyde countered. Jekyll slammed his fist on the table.

"It would have been for the best!" Jekyll shouted.

"Only in your twisted mind, doctor. Do be cautious or the next thing you know, Prince Charming's sword shall slay the monster you are. And that comes with a grim fate for me as well," Hyde warned, as he left the cellar and the doctor behind.

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story Part 84

I decided to dye my hair rainbow again about a week before the concert was going to happen. I had hopes that this might cause me to stand out more, plus it looked neat and felt right to me. I remember in the chilly morning airy atmosphere of the small wood stove room where we kept our computers, I sat on the floor and I perfected the Gogol Bordello painting, scrutinizing every edge to make sure it was as perfect as it could be. Psychologically, I readied myself and emptied out all unwanted weaknesses in my feelings and thinking. I warned everyone to avoid me if they were angry. We could fight and settle it out after the concert. I needed to be as pure as possible to go to this concert. I was definitely ready to have fun, but it was also quite important to me that I fully grasped the purpose and radiated that purpose in what I did.

The plans had changed to being a bit more reasonable. My mother was going to drive up to our grandma's. I would follow behind her in my car with David as the passenger. We would stay the night at my grandma's, and have them drive us into Spokane in the morning. The concert didn't start till early evening, but I insisted on being there in the morning. I guess I thought the chance would more than likely open up for me to give Eugene the painting if I was to see him early before the show and before other people showed up. I knew in a pragmatic way I would feel like a failure if I didn't pull this off. And maybe having met Chad I. Ginsberg years ago had given me a misconception that famous people are eager to meet their fans. Some of them just aren't, or can't be. I was hoping Eugene was friendly in person. I had heard no negative stories.

The morning of the concert, I packed up with David, and headed off behind my mother. It was a crisp lovely early November morning. It was the sort of weather that, though cold, is complimented and evened out by the sunshine. Sitting behind the wheel I felt powerful. I listened to a best of Kinks, which wasn't a very good compilation, and then David listened to Sonic Youth. It really was a lovely day. We ended up stopping at a rural grocery store in Fernwood. I felt a tingling in my thoughts, and I was feeling impulsive and hyper. In an effort to park in the parking lot, I accidentally pushed the gas pedal instead and nearly smashed Allison  - who was walking in front of me, into a power line. I was literally two inches to breaking her against this pole before I found the breaks and slammed them. I spent a lot of time looking over this situation later on, reassessing how I operated. It had been completely reckless and distasteful. I often times imagined a difference scenario and realized just how close it had been to truly happening. Had I panicked only a little bit differently, I might very well have seriously wounded Allison.

My grandma Marie looked surprised to see me. She was surprised to see how much thinner I was, and looked at my hair with complete distaste written upon her face. She made comments about me being 'too old' to be dyeing my hair, and too old to be going to concerts. I didn't concern myself with her biases. I could tell she was partly offended because me looking the way I did was seen as a betrayal to her and what she expected of me.

The next morning, we gathered up our things to go. The weather was horrifically unsuitable. The wind was blowing like crazy, and it was alternating between hale and rain, all of it flying at an angle in your face more than it did drop on your head. My mom had picked up some kind of crab dip from a gas station the day before, and David and Allison had been eating on it. I didn't eat any of it. Right before we were about to go, David began to throw up suddenly, pushing past everyone to get to the toilet. He refused to stay home though, which was understandable. When we got into the Spokane area, the weather had somehow become even more inhospitable. I was under dressed. Sarah had convinced me to buy a Gogol Bordello jacket, and it was very light fitting. I didn't want to ruin it with a coat, so I had decided I would wear this jacket regardless. David had only a light hoodie, and Allison wore two flannels since she didn't have a real winter coat. My mother stopped at a Walmart, and bought us each umbrellas. She was hoping it would help us stay dry. We would be waiting outside for seven hours before the show. I was willing to withstand all manner of discomfort to be there though, and may actually have seen this as some kind of a test.

The second we walked out of my mother's van, to be dropped in downtown Spokane, the wind immediately picked up into a frozen flurry all around us. I was immediately freezing. The wind was so strong that both mine and Allison's umbrellas busted apart before my mother's van could even get out of eyesight. But we were there, for what it was worth and I was ready. I carefully kept my painting tucked under my jacket in order to keep it from getting wet. The tour van was parked out in the front, but there was little to no action to be seen. Nobody else was there. There weren't even many street pedestrians since it was so miserable out. We managed to find a small area of the building that overlapped the sidewalk, and we huddled up there together to stave off the cold winds.

I could sense that the band members knew we were there. When I first arrived, I had felt confident that I could bump into Eugene and just say hello. I had practiced my approach mentally so many times. It still felt stiff though, and unreal. And the more I sat there, the more I realized that maybe the band really wasn't about talking to us. They might have suspected we were waiting to rampage them or accost them. Perhaps I had overdone it for showing up so early? In the situation, I felt less certain as to what I should do. I didn't want to give up. One way or the other I had to get this painting to Eugene. This wasn't even about me anymore. I just couldn't leave feeling like a failure.

Eventually two of the band members walked by. Sure enough, my doubts were answered as they looked down at us with caution and fear. I instantly felt bad for them, and felt a sense of shame for having been there. I know that simply sitting there wasn't hurting them, but I felt bad no less. We had nowhere else to go, and no money to speak of – else I might have considered loosely the prospect of perhaps finding somewhere to sit. Allison, David and I smiled timidly. One of the band members we saw was Elizabeth Sun. As she walked by with this open look of worry on her face, Allison whispered to me that Elizabeth was beautiful. When Allison said this, we could tell that Elizabeth had heard it and she suddenly seemed less nervous about us. I think her fear was that we would chase her down. I imagine there must have been some incentive to worry. Perhaps the band had bad experiences. Or maybe it was just a quiet day. I could tell the weather was getting everyone down too, whether they wanted to let it or not.

Eventually, our bodies just turned to shivering stone as we sat there all day. We were frozen solid. I eventually walked around the building in hopes of demonstrating that I wasn't waiting outside the bus like some kind of wild cat on the prowl, waiting for the little mice to leave their hole. Perhaps that was what I had started off there wanting to do. Sarah had coached me a lot, telling me I had to not fear that my existence and my whims weren't valuable and that I should somehow disappear in the face of other's expectations. I wanted something, and I should reach for it. However, given that I was now here, could grasp the vibes of our situation, I wanted to reassess it all. Also, I was hoping that walking around would warm us up a bit. When we went around the back of the venue – we lingered about. I felt that if Eugene was going to leave his tour van or wanted to, he was not going to do it so long as we were sitting there. As much as I needed to get this painting to him, I had to allow that respect. As we were sitting behind the venue an elderly gypsy woman walked over and came to talk to us. She wasn't  a member of the band, but she was in some form – part of their inner circle. I had never seen her before. She suggested we go to a nearby restaurant and pick up something to eat close by. We nodded and said we would, but of course we didn't have any money to do that. I felt she had told us that to give the band members space to leave their van.

So instead we all tried to not be too close to the van. It was now more a situation of feeling like an obstacle to someone else. Eventually, the wind died down, and we came back to the front of the venue to warm up. The members had now moved into the building, and didn't seem as concerned about us. I felt more within my rights to be there. Internally, I did everything in my power to not let the morning's discouragements from seeping into my sense of self worth. I had accepted that I might simply have not been able to give Eugene the painting when I had wanted to. There would come another time perhaps.

As we had been sitting there, a small crowd of people got in line. We had been sitting in a line that we had sort of started, but what they had done in order to be first was start a new line, rendering our line obsolete. From what I could tell, it was a mother and her daughters and her daughter's friends and some other people that she knew. They looked us over and made rude comments about us being there. I instantly hated these people. They talked about how rich they were, the mom kept on insisting we all know about the time she slept with one of the members of The Germs. It's hard to describe how awful they were. I guess what I really disliked about them was the fact that I thought they were the antithesis of Gogol Bordello and their music. They were materialistic, pushy, and quick to judge. They were there to be seen.

We slowly made our way into the building through the line. As we did so, more and more people started coming in behind us. This family of people in front of us began calling out to friends and people they knew and letting them in front of us. Under one of these girl's breath, I heard her make a racist comment about not thinking her white friends should have to stand with the Mexicans and other groups of people who were in the back. It was infuriating. I couldn't believe they could be fans of Gogol Bordello and be this horrible and racist. Gogol bordello literally is a multicultural band, famously so. There was a clear half-unsaid distinction going on here, and these rich white assholes honestly felt they deserved to be ahead, and all of their friends deserved to stand in line too, while the rest of us just sat there. I could tell other people in line felt it too and were very confused behind us, but nobody said anything. It seemed so contradictory to what everyone who was there should have stood unanimously for.

As this group of people in front of us let more and more people in the line to cut in front of us, it was becoming questionable if we would even get a front row position. This seemed massively unfair. We had frozen half to death since morning to be there first, and we had been in line for it and everything. I had literally been waiting for this concert to happen since early summer, and now these rich people were just stepping on me like I was nothing. This family seemed to know a ton of people, and it all seemed preestablished between them that they and their friends got in first. I looked over at Allison and David and I could tell they felt the same way. We were poor people to them, and this is how they probably lived their lives. To them it was no big deal.

When even more people were being beckoned to walk in front of us, Allison suddenly stood her ground. She looked at them and she looked at the family in front of us and said 'NO!' Allison, who was always shy and people pleasing had suddenly had enough. I could see the look in her face – she was ready to physically fight them. I had never seen this level of bravery in her before, and I was almost instantly ashamed for having not defended our situation better. The mother started making fun of Allison's appearance and telling her friends to ignore Allison and cut anyway. But this didn't stop Allison. She physically used her body to prevent the friends from pushing ahead. They looked at each other and I could tell they felt embarrassed. The friends of the family clearly knew they were in the wrong for cutting and were embarrassed at having been called out by this young fourteen year old girl who seemed to have nothing to lose.

The family continued to try to fight Allison, but Allison called them out and said 'WE TRAVELED HOURS TO GET HERE, WE WORKED HARD TO GET THE MONEY TO SEE THIS SHOW, AND WE SHOWED UP HERE BEFORE ANYONE ELSE! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHO GOES IN FIRST JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE RICH! YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN US.' She wasn't yelling but it had hushed the people up all around us. Some of the people who had been beckoned to the front of the line then voluntarily left to the back again – maybe in self realization. The mother and her daughter's faces looked like they had been slapped in the face. They were infuriated and tried to put their words in, but it all came down to them calling Allison a bitch. And  they were outnumbered. Because a whole bunch of the people behind us had seen this happen too, including a lot of the Mexicans this asshole family had claimed they were better than, and while nobody was outright applauding, everyone had been listening and they started making the same statements and agreeing with Allison among themselves.

I really was growing to be pretty proud of Allison. She had discovered her creative self, had courageously taken up singing and playing a musical instrument all that year. I wanted to do whatever I had to to support her. And despite the fact that my father had always seen her as a little babyish numskull, Allison was incredibly brave and smart. When the people had started shoving in in front of us, I had sort of shut down – silently internalizing the idea that maybe I was unworthy, all of which was second nature to me even though I had done a lot of working on myself. I was so proud of Allison, I honestly had to wipe away a small tear forming in the corner of my eye.

We ended up getting a perfect place in the front of the stage. I was here, and this was real. The first band that performed was called Forro in the Dark. They had this amazingly cool singer who played drums with his hands. I ended up getting my hands on one of their cds and it didn't do any justice to what I had seen live. I think years later this guy did music with Thom Yorke, which doesn't surprise me since it really was a very unique and amazing performance. And then Gogol Bordello came on stage, and it was fun and amazing. We all danced about and had a good time. My ribs didn't get crushed in like they had for Them Crooked Vultures the year before. Eugene was of course beautiful, but what really was amazing was taking it all in. Every member played an instrument. I think there were nine members. It was fantastic. I didn't even want to concern myself with Eugene specifically. It seemed besides the point in being there and living in that moment. Instead I just completely let go.

Allison however, had suddenly been struck with the crab dip that she had eaten, and in the last part of the last song she began to throw up. The venue people came over and gave her some water, which helped. I tried to focus on the band, but it seemed more important to make sure Allison was fine. After the concert was over soon after, we sat down for a moment so that Allison could cool down. It had been a very high energy concert, probably the highest energy concert I had ever been to, if you excluded the more violent nature of some of the previous concerts. Allison had overheated with everyone all around her moving and dancing. We just sat there for awhile, until it was time to get out of there. I had been given my mother's phone to let her know we were ready to come home. Of course it's an hour and a half drive between my grandma's and Spokane, so the wait would take some time.

Given that we were going to be there anyway, and there were also a lot of people waiting to meet the band outside the venue, we hung around the front with them. If it had been cold before, it was even colder now, so Allison, David and I latched on to one another for warmth shamelessly. I clutched my painting in my hand, ready for the opportunity to give it to Eugene. Sitting there in the small crowd that night, I realize that everyone was basically there to see Eugene. I feel like I latched more meaning in my presence there, as I was less interested in the celebrity aspect and more interested in making some connection that would be meaningful, but in the end, I had to try my best to counteract the fact that I was feeling a little bit foolish. Other band members came out, and nobody wanted to talk to them. They just wanted to see Eugene, who was in the tour van. There was a separator between the people waiting and the opening of the van. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that I had the right to be there and that every point in my life was one millionth of a step to where I needed to be. Everything worth having in life is paved with psychological discomfort and some level of humility. I regained some confidence. I knew that if Eugene understood that I had painted something for him, he would understand.

That night as well it is worth noting, Primus and Wolfmother had been playing in the next door venue. At the time, I liked Wolfmother, and I have had a love/hate relationship with Primus, but at the time I was leaning more towards dislike than like. I mean, I liked them, but there was something insane about their music that made me feel crazy. We could see on the other side of the road, Les Claypool drinking a beer and laughing in the bus.

As Allison and David and I were huddled together, Sergey came out, the Russian fiddle player. Nobody was interested in talking to him for whatever reason. He came out directly to us. He had been seeing us huddled together outside the bus and he had been stricken by all three of us as family huddled together for warmth. It was written all over his face.  He didn't say a word as he came over, only smiled the most loving smile I think we had ever received collectively. He looked at us sentimentally for about a full minute. Sergey didn't speak good English and I didn't know what to tell him exactly. He was endeared by all three of us clinging to one another for warmth. I felt like he was capturing all three of us in his memory bank as a picture to take with him. Eventually a very out of sorts drunk woman came up to him and began banging on the tour bus demanding that she was cold and hungry and wanted in the bus. Sergey shuffled back in the bus and came out with a poncho and a slice of pizza for her. She accepted them, and with someone she was with who was sober she made her way down the road. David later told me that she had been trying to kiss him. I hope she made it home okay.

Eventually, Eugene came out of the bus. He's one of those people who's eyes darken underneath and seem to sink into their skull when they are tired. His head was low, and I couldn't help but feel that he really didn't want to meet anyone tonight. Maybe everyone just assumed he was a 24-7 people person. He could very well have been sick. I will never know, but it was so surreal to see him, as a human being walking around. He quietly signed some people's pens and papers. Peopel were climbing over one another to get to him. I could tell he was trying to make this hurried up, and I knew my time to give him the painting was probably in the next minute and a half. He tiredly took some selfies with a few fans. It was kind of horrifying. He wasn't smiling at all, and then they would take the picture with some unspoken agreement to make it quick. He would smile momentarily for the picture and then as soon as that ten seconds was over, he wasn't smiling anymore. It reminded me of factory work. I thought it seemed degrading and without contextual meaning or experience that would make the selfie worth having, but the people didn't seem to mind. Fame is really weird.

I knew he wasn't going to get to everyone. He was just going through the motions and what little he was forcing himself into was wearing him out. So I decided to waste no more time. I gently nudged between a bunch of the people to get in front to give him the picture. Ordinarily, I would never have done this, but sort of knew that what I was doing was a little bit more important than what they had in mind, as many of them were just reaching out to touch him. At first the people were all mad at me and confused that I had assertively pushed ahead, but when they saw the painting, and Allison and David were behind me explaining my situation, everyone in the small group seemed to recognize the importance of the painting and understand, some of them even helped usher me forward, like we were all peasants but I was the one holding the offering to the king before us.

Eugene saw the painting and his eyes seemed suddenly less deadened. He looked me in the face, and asked if it was for him. I smiled and nodded, and he smiled back and took it and thanked me. I could tell he wanted to look at it without the hands and faces all on him. After this exchange, I left the crowd. He signed a few more autographs and went back into the bus, my painting held in his lovely hands – the one I had worked on the den floor and labored on. It was surreal to see it drift into the van with him as the door shut behind him. I watched him as he went into the van. He set the picture down for the other members to see it. Then he grabbed a bottle of alcohol and chugged it and grabbed a big steaming piece of delicious looking cheesy pizza and took a big bite. Everyone in the van looked happy, like one big warm family. The crowd began clearing out. Primus's van drove off. Ten minutes later, I watched Gogol Bordello's van drive away too, a beacon of light glowing farther and farther into the distance in the dark and dank Spokane streets. It turned a corner, and suddenly the streets were silent and cold and alone, very much the way the morning had started, but even darker, like some dark thick substance had consumed everything and we were left standing in no man's land.

We sat against the cold brick wall, and waited for our mom to come get us. It took her forever, but eventually she arrived. The van was warm. I felt empty somehow, and full at the same time as we drove down the road in the winter night down Sprague, through the Spokane Valley and into Post Falls which became Coeur De Alene, past that into the dark rural areas of north Idaho with it's mystic snowy hills and sharp tall black pines till eventually we made it back home. My grandma and mother had gotten themselves worked up in some kind of self righteous mood, feeling like we had really put them out. My grandmother stated that we were ruining my mother's life in a low key kind of snobby way, for having stayed out so late. I could barely hear them. My heart was elsewhere. My mind was flooded with the strange combination of heartsick sadness and this tender sense of completeness. I had done everything I had set out to do. I had put so much emotional energy into this day, and now this day was complete. What next? For all I knew, the painting had been tossed out the window as they drove to the next city. I couldn't let that bother me. I had followed through. But there was a sadness in that very fact I had not expected to have with me.

The next morning, it was time to go. I slept very hard. I woke up invigorated. It was onto the next thing. David got in the back seat of the car. We put in Goo by Sonic Youth and took off down the road behind my mother's van. We hadn't left town yet. My mother stopped at a stop light and then began driving down the road. I didn't feel like I would be able to follow right behind her if I waited for the next car to pass, so without realizing myself I didn't make the full stop that I should have. I was slightly panicked and made the turn. Suddenly there were flashing lights behind me, and a police siren whooped behind me. I couldn't even believe what was happening. David turned around and confirmed it. There was a police car pulling me over, and I hadn't even left town yet. My mom was far away by then and kept on going. For a moment there I didn't know what to do or where to park. I turned into the grocery store parking lot and forgot to put on my blinker, which made things even worse. I awkwardly parked. I was besides myself. Of course I didn't have a license to be driving. My father had told me there was registration in the car, but there actually wasn't.

I rolled down the window, and the officer asked me if I knew why he pulled me over. I had no idea. I could only think of the fact that I had forgotten to put on my blinker. He asked me for my stuff, and I had to look at him and explain I had none of that. He was besides himself. He looked at me and explained to me that it was incredibly irresponsible for me to be driving like I was. I am sure it didn't help that I had rainbow hair. I looked like I had been partying all night, and in a way I had been given the Gogol Bordello concert. I tried to explain to him that I didn't know how I would ever learn to drive if I didn't just drive. He didn't like that answer, but I could tell somewhere in the corner of his thoughts he felt a little bit sorry for me. He told me to wait in the car and he would be back. I felt frozen in disbelief while I waited. David solemnly stood at attention in the back seat. We discussed our options. My one great hope was that I didn't have to go to jail.

Eventually he came back to the vehicle and explained to me that he was dropping the charges against my driving, but given the circumstances and the legalities of me driving to begin with, he was fining me 350$. He told me it would be fine if I left the vehicle in the lot overnight, and I should just walk back to my grandma's house, which was about three minutes from where I was anyway. Ultimately, he was fair with me. This was my second real dealing with a policeman since Roxanne had got me smoking when I had been young. He had every right to pull me over honestly. I wish I could go into some mode of 'fuck the police', and I can on other occasions but on this occasion I had pulled a California stop (I think that's what people call it), and my driving had just looked wonky. Given I had nearly smashed my sister to a post the day before, I probably wasn't safe to be driving around. Especially with the way I tended to drift in and out of magical thinking, seeing symbolism more than I saw reality at times. And then there was the fact that I was so high strung. I should probably not have been driving, and I might not have had my father not insisted that I do so to begin with. I thanked the cop for dropping some of the violations. I believe he had felt some level of pity for me. David and I locked the car and headed back to my grandma's.

My mom had realized she had lost us, and she used this as an excuse to just drive to some remote part of the woods. Allison had to yell at her to come back to see if we were at my grandma's still – which took about an hour or so. My grandma was oddly calm about the entire ordeal. She laughed and told me it happens to the best of us. My nerves were shot. Everything seemed so confusing. One second it had all been this Gogol Bordello thing, and now had gotten pulled over. My psyche was a foaming cocktail of contrasting emotions and levels of awareness. I called my dad and told him the news. He wasn't that mad either. Nobody was particularly angry at me. Eventually my mom showed back up and I rode home with her. My father came and got the car a few weeks later.

Upon coming home, I connected with Sarah and she told me all about how she had met Mark Lanegan. It had been dreary weather in Seattle as well. Mark Lanegan had come out of his tour van. Mark Lanegan is a shy, and at times really doesn't pretend he wants to talk to anyone. He's noted to be this way, even among friends and fellow musicians. He was in a particularly bad day that day, but Sarah didn't let that phase her. Like the devilish little sprite that she is, she talked to him anyway. He didn't want to talk at first, but Sarah decided to charm and humor him to cut through the thick exterior. She asked him if he would do the Egyptian in a picture with her that Alex was ready to take. At first he refused, but she could tell he was beginning to crack and be amused. Eventually, and surprisingly, he caved in and did it. If you type in 'Mark Lanegan 2010' into Google search, the first thing you will see is the pictures of her meeting him in Texas in 2008, and her meeting Mark in Seattle that day in 2010 doing the Egyptian like she asked.

The next few weeks for me were a strange come-down from the previous months. My mind felt really calm, and yet there was a growing sadness. I think some of it came from the reality of the the actual dimensions of what I wanted and trying to understand what that something was. Did I want the something in question, or did I only thrive on the idea of wanting it? I had never had real goals before. I had had countless visions and dreams and desires and hard to explain encounters that I had sensed coming my way before they happened, but I hadn't ever experienced up to that point what it really meant to have a goal. Eugene could not be a goal for me. I still thought he was a beautiful person, and the idea of pursuing him still intrigued me – I still felt this pulse of inspiration when I saw him in pictures or in interviews or listened to Gogol Bordello, but when I looked at the situation for what it was, in order to even make it to a level where I wasn't being anything more than a sort of psycho fan with delusions of grandeur, I would almost have to let go of him and focus on myself almost entirely and let those inner concepts dictate who and where I went from here. Who knows where my own mind would take me. I wasn't going to be able to predict who I would become. But that had to be the starting point if I wanted to have that kind of originality. You simply can't make another person your goal, anymore than a person should simply be means to an end.

Secondly, when I met Eugene, when we had made eye contact, it  had been admittedly different than what I had expected. I wasn't totally willing to be honest with myself, but we just weren't a match. Lets ignore for an instant that I am and never will be Eugene Hutz's type. Lets ignore our age difference, and even his fame against my complete and total obscurity and history of isolated depression. I am not even going to say that it was because I am ugly and he was beautiful or anything disparaging about myself because despite societal norms I actually think that being compatible or having chemistry with someone can take those superficial elements off the table completely. Beyond any of that, Eugene and I were and are from two different worlds, and we were not designed to be compatible or have chemistry. His music and his intellectual ideas had sparked something so greatly needed within me, as well as just being able to see someone and acknowledge that they were physically gorgeous was great for me when I had become so disconnected from my physical self and living in the moment. I don't think there could have been a more perfect human being for me to fall for, because that strange obsession really did bring out the best in me. I don't know that very many people in my life brought that out of me the way Eugene had. But those things were very much reactions inside my own head. They had nothing to do with Eugene.

And I just hadn't felt it. I knew from my experience at a young age when I had swooned over Zack what chemistry felt like. Zack and I had had some sort of chemistry to build off – a zinging feeling between us as our eyes met. It's not even entirely something that requires you to feel sexually attracted to someone or the need to form that kind of bond. Sometimes it can be you and another person and you can just tell you operate in the same wave length and could make very close friends. It washes over you and it's not about choice or forcing it. It's like magnets. There was none from Eugene. Honestly, too – Eugene is very anti postmodern. I don't flatter myself by calling myself some lofty term like 'postmodernist', but essentially postmodernism is very real to my life. I don't like the outcome of some elements of postmodernism and I honor far more highly the concept of originality and a primal sense of human connection – but I can't insulate myself from it, and I don't consider myself some warrior against the concept.  I am living in a postmodern world, and it's deeply ingrained with how I view the my surroundings and identity. I could never live in Eugene's wave length. It simply isn't who I am, for better or worse. He couldn't live on mine either.

He had really appreciated and respected the painting I had given him. I know he had. But there could never be anything more between us, even if I became some kind of superstar that I didn't even want to become and I was the one outclassing him. It had been such a lovely and beautiful blissful fantasy to submerge myself in, to feel like Eugene was liberating me from myself. Eugene took me out of the darkest depression I had ever gone through. I had been so depressed and lost that I had no way of even comprehending it. And now I had to be weened from this fantasy, and while I felt really good in some ways, I also felt like I had been punched in the chest. I tried to explain it to Allison, David and Sarah but they didn't get it. They thought I was just let down because he was famous and I wasn't, or I was chubby and he clearly dated exotic dancers in abundance. It was far more spirit-based for me and it frustrated me that this in depth reality for me could be reduced to something trivially besides the point. I mean, I know it sounds nuts to talk about marrying a famous person – I feel that completely, but for me it had depth and meaning and a sense of urgency in something to live for and up to it up to that point.

After I got back home, after the car was brought back, and things had more or less gotten back to normal, I realized very seriously I was going to have to prepare myself for getting a job. Sarah was dead set on getting me a place to work at Zany's as a dishwasher, and I was going to need to dye my hair black again to cover up the rainbow hair that lay beneath. So I did that. In a way, everything felt darker. I still was motivated to lose more weight. It wasn't as easy to convince myself to do it without imagining I was doing so to marry Eugene, but I pushed myself anyway and continued with my weight loss. What disturbed me was this realization that I wasn't entirely in control, and I had spent the year believing I was. I did everything right. I wasn't pitying myself or blaming anyone even when it was there doing. But sometimes the weight wouldn't go when I worked on it. Sometimes, despite everything I knew and felt, I couldn't control who I was becoming. And sometimes I just woke up and I felt like I was living in some dark dream world and everything and everyone I thought I knew was a backwards version of themselves. Sometimes I felt two contradicting feeling at once, only to have even more divisive and confusing feelings building on top of those feelings and I felt like I was going crazy. Sometimes I couldn't explain this to Sarah or Allison or anyone and I got this sense that they really didn't want to hear me go on and on about myself. It felt sometimes like my inner world was becoming like the Joy Division album, Unknown Pleasures sounds. Like I was entering some kind of hellish underbelly that was psychological and like living in some nightmarish isolation dungeon that there was no escape from. It had chosen me, I hadn't chosen it. I felt shaky. Yet everything was calm and serene and I felt more awake then I ever had been and ready. I felt like something was going to happen. Something wasn't right in my surroundings but it was difficult for me to pinpoint what that something was. I figured I would just have to wait and see what happened next.

PART 83 - https://tinyurl.com/yasrxfkj

PART 82 - https://tinyurl.com/y9wvecz3

PART 81 - https://tinyurl.com/yc7bm62r

My Life Story in Chapters, PARTS 1-80 (this link below will lead you to a list of all the chapters i have written thus far).

http://aleatoryalarmalligator.tumblr.com/post/168782771574/life-story-sections-1-8

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Smackdown Live! Review- February 20th, 2018

What’s this? A review for Smackdown?? But we haven’t seen one in weeks!? 

I am finally here for Smackdown again. Nice nice. Smackdown hasn’t been too great as of late, in my personal opinion. They’ve had really shitty storylines and the matches have been so stale lately; it just hasn’t been good wrestling. I’m hoping for a good show tonight!

Please let me know what your thoughts on the show were, as well as what you thought of this post! Any type of feedback is welcomed. Thanks for checking out the blog!

Opening: AJ Styles and company

Renee Young opened the show (god I adore her) and welcomed AJ Styles to the ring to get his thoughts on his fatal five-way match at Fastlane coming up. 

Personally, I hate this idea. I want AJ to not face Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn week after week. We’ve seen this for the past 4 months, but it feels like it’s been an entire year for this program. It’s a very predictable formula now, and we all know that AJ is going to win at Fastlane so he and Shinsuke can fight at Mania, which should actually be a fantastic match.

AJ, of course, was spewing lines about how he’s going to win at Fastlane, and he was shortly joined by Baron Corbin and Kevin Owens. They were also telling tales of how they were going to win. Kevin started calling out Shane McMahon, and of course, Shane came out to answer Kevin’s call.

Shane needs to step back and stop involving himself in this storyline. If the plan is for Kevin against Shane at Mania this year, then he should be preparing for that instead. I think the universe is done with seeing Shane in the ring, whether it be as special guest ref or as a competitor. It’s overplayed, and it’s getting so old.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

If you haven’t been paying close attention to Smackdown, Ziggler has returned home after entering the Rumble as the 30th entrant. He was unsuccessful, but he wants to enter the title picture again to prove that he’s still got something in the tank. Ziggler is a great wrestler, but he really serves as a jobber to new guys who get called up from NXT. It’s a shame that Ziggler’s been wasted this past year, so hopefully, he can find something being involved with the title match.

Dolph immediately goes in on Kevin as soon as the bell rings. Owens eventually rolls out of the ring, and Ziggler goes right after him, to which Kevin took advantage and knocked into Ziggler. Once the two got back into the ring, Ziggler hit Owens with one of his beautiful dropkicks. The match has since been fought outside of the ring.

Finally entering the ring again, Kevin tried for a senton but missed as Ziggler rolled out of the way. Ziggler goes on the offensive with a huge pick-up slam, followed by a huge elbow to the face. Ziggler seems like he’s setting the pace for the match, but Kevin quickly takes it away from him and nails Ziggler with that canon ball roll into the turnbuckle. Ziggler rolls out to the ring apron after Kevin tries for a pinfall, to which Ziggler kicked out at two.

The program does that thing where it splits into two screens and it makes it hard to keep focusing on the match, but it seems as though Kevin has control of the match. He has brought Ziggler back into the ring, and has kept him in a headlock for most of the “break”. Ziggler finds a way to crawl around to Kevin’s back, and in an act of desperation, Kevin throws the both of them out of the ring. Once back in, Ziggler finds his heart and hits a nice DDT on Owens.

Ziggler has built some momentum, but it, unfortunately, is wasted when Kevin knocks him down and lands a nice gutbuster, followed by an elbow from the top rope. Owens then tries for a huge senton from the top rope, but Ziggler gets his knees up and hits Kevin with the famouser! Kevin kicks out at two.

Kevin and Dolph exchange a few blows, and Dolph hits Kevin enough to get him to wobble, to which Dolph begins to set up for the superkick, but it’s countered by Kevin, who then goes for the pop-up powerbomb, which Dolph counters and hits Kevin with the zig-zag! Sami Zayn then comes down to the ring to distract Dolph and that will allow Kevin to kick Dolph in the back of the head and get the win. This was a pretty satisfying match! I hope the rest of the show is like this match.

Jinder Mahal’s List

Jinder and his uninjured friend have come out to the ring to reveal Bobby Roode’s “Top 10 List”. A few weeks ago, Smackdown Live debuted their ranking system, which didn’t sit well with everyone. Since last week, Randy and Bobby have been going at it, and it’s a bit of a weird feud since Randy hasn’t been on TV as of late (he wasn’t at the live show I went to, which was a small bummer). 

Bobby joined Jinder in the ring and challenged him to a match, then Randy came out and tried to get involved. The whole thing ended in a mess, and after a confrontation between Shane and Daniel Bryan in the back, the announcement was made that Bobby Roode and Randy Orton will fight at Fastlane for the United States championship. Weird, but I’ll take it. Hey, this segment should’ve been a match instead!

Charlotte/Becky/Naomi vs. The Riott Squad

Didn’t we see this on Raw last night, too? I’m tired of the WWE thinking that all their women can only compete in tag matches. It sucks that Absolution and the Riott Squad debuted at the same time. I’m sick of both factions already.

The match is literally following the same formula from last night’s tag match, but the face team seems to have the upperhand tonight. It’s always fun to see Naomi’s athleticism in the ring, but this would’ve been better if it was a singles match!

When the match continues after the commercial break, Corey Graves comments that this the same thing we see on Monday nights! Thanks Corey!

The crowd seems really into the match, which is a good sign. The commentary team was talking about the Riott Squad, and I didn’t catch who it was, but someone said that all of the members of the Riott Squad are here to do the same thing: make a name for themselves. And they can’t do that with the same three women in their way. I think this could be said for the Absolution women as well. If they face the same people week after week after week, how do we expect them to grow and make their own careers?

The match was actually pretty good, and I think that had to do with the crowd’s enjoyment of it. There was a moment where Becky was tagged in, and she hit a missile dropkick on Sarah, but Becky seemed to have lost her footing? The match really slowed down and lost it’s hype after Becky came in, which I hate saying because I love Becky, but she really did break up the pace in a bad way. The Riott Squad were victorious in the match.

Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. New Day

Oh my god, another match that we see every week. Does Smackdown really not have any other talent that can wrestle? I’m sure they do because I am so bored with the tag division as of late. Give me Breezango.

It is kind of fun to see Gable German suplex and belly to belly Big E a lot; it shows his athleticism, and it’s also funny to see their faces when they do this. 

The match itself wasn’t very exciting. All it had were one or two tag ins, a suplex, a shining wizard, and a pinfall. Xavier Woods won the match for New Day, which earns them a title shot at Fastlane against the Usos. Again.

Also the Bludgeon Brothers are fighting local talent again and I do not care to comment on the “match”. This could’ve been time for another women’s match. The only thing I liked about this was Corey Graves screaming and laughing at the whole thing.

AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin

I don’t think I’ve seen these guys face off in a while, or at all even. I had a weird realization while Baron was on his way to the ring: I’ve been sleeping on Baron Corbin! He’s a bit too tall, and kind of gangly, but he’s a strong athlete! I haven’t really ever seen Baron in a good light, and I have no idea why I had this reaction when he came out, so we all know who I’m pulling for in this match.

Baron’s power was on display before the break as he slammed AJ on the mats outside of the ring. The match started off at a good pace without setting up any huge moves. I like that for the main events a lot of the time. We don’t always need these huge spots or anything for a main event, sometimes we just want a good ass match.

Back from the break, and we see Baron deliver a huge clothesline that “almost took AJ’s head off!” Baron is dominating AJ for the moment, but AJ’s great ring awareness lets him sneak out of Baron’s way and send Baron right into the ring post, followed by the barricade. With the match outside the ring, AJ is thrown towards the table and Baron scurries back into the ring, but AJ IS MADDD and he charges back to the ring to hit Baron right in the head with the Phenomenal Forearm.

We’re getting a pretty good match here as Baron tees off on AJ in the corner. He knocks into AJ pretty hard, and Baron wants to set AJ up for a superplex. He doesn’t get very far as AJ counters, but Baron has a counter of his own and hits a really nice Deep 6. Baron tried to set up the End of Days, but AJ traps Baron in a calf crusher. Baron finds his way out and buys himself some time to recover.

Styles tries to set up for the forearm again, but Baron is right there to stop him. He does his best to knock AJ over, but AJ is able to hit the forearm this time and he gets the win over Corbin. Kevin and Sami interrupt AJ’s celebration and try to attack him, and Kevin takes care of AJ and Sami goes after Baron, but Baron is ready for it and he hits Sami with the End of Days! Baron walks out looking at the Mania sign as the show ends.

I didn’t think this was the best show, but I liked the opening and the closing match at least. Smackdown needs to figure out what it’s doing for Mania before Mania happens. Hopefully they pick up the pace leading up to Fastlane.

Thanks for checking out the blog! Be on the lookout for more posts during the week!

Thanks!

-Casey

[umbrahighpriestofgiratina]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Tales Of Arrival Chapter 3

Whew, it's been a while hasn't it? This chapter gave me a really hard time since i wasn't sure what to even do with it at first, but i think I figured out something hopefully actually interesting. Now prepare for:

Chapter 3: Dungeon Master's Guide

Kratos, Edbark, and Riki made their way down the path out of the city into a forested area.

"So," said Kratos. "How do we find this mystery meteor? I'd say look for a crater but that only works up close."

"Uh, actually," said Edbark. "I dunno. I didn't think we'd get this far."

"Seriously?!" saiud Riki.

Kratos sighed. "Maybe we should ask the locals."

"What locals? Only wild Pokemon this deep in the woods.""

"What about them?" said Edbark, pointing a paw.

There, down the path, was a stand, manned by a Charmeleon, an Eeevee, and a Pachisru.

"Hey maybe they can help!" said Riki. He rushed over, and Edbark and Kratos followed.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" said the Charmeleon, noticing their approach. "I'm Lumine."

"I'm Susan," the Eevee said haughtily, brushing fur from her eyes.

"I'm Chad!" said the Pachisru enthusiastically.

"Do you know the way to that meteor that fell recently?" said Kratos, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah yes!" said Lumine, nodding. "We can help you!"

Kratos already didn't trust this.

"Ooh, help us how?" said Edbark.

"We know a few tricks!" said Susan.

"We have..." Chad held up a strange... device? It just looked like a bunch of metal parts mashed together. "This!"

"What is it?" said Riki.

"It's a lovely Meteor-Find-Inator! With it you'll find where that strange meteor landed in no time."

Yeah Kratos didn't trust this.

"...Edbark, Riki? A moment, if you will?"

The three got in a huddle.

"I want you two to know this is most definitely a scam."

"I didn't see any of them use Slam," said Edbark, confused.

"No, no! SCAM!" said Riki. "It's like when they're trying to rip us off!"

"Rip us off of what?" said Edbark. "We're not on anything sticky."

"He means cheat you out of your money," said Kratos.

"Oh. That. That's mean!" said Edbark.

"Right, so we just refuse and move on," said Kratos.

"Are you three done yet? What are you even talking about?" said Stella.

"Okay, so!" Riki said, turning to face the three and holding Edbark close. "My buddy Edbark here, see, his dad was a Fairy type so he's uh, allergic to all that metal. So we'll pass.

"Is that actually a thing?" said Edbark, whispering.

"Listen if they can bullshit us we can bullshit them," said Riki, whispering back.

The trio of merchants stared then got into their own huddle, whispering intensely. Finally they turned back to the group, seemingly somber looks on their faces.

"It oh so pains me to do this," said Lumine, holding a claw to his head in seeming emotional pain. "But if you won't give us your money..."

He suddenly leapt forward, toward Kratos.

"We'll take it!"

Kratos' instincts kicked in.

He rushed in front of Edbark to defend them, leaped up, ready to call upon his sword and even his Exsphere-

-Only to realize he had none of it left, and he only sent a few blades of air in Lumine's direction before falling flat on his face.

This did cause Lumine to stagger back a bit. Riki grabbed Kratos and turned to Edbark.

"Run!"

The two, Kratos in tow, fled down the forest path, the theiving trio in hot pursuit.

"The Rascal Rouges always get their prize!" said Stella.

"Yeah! Even if we have to beat mons up!" said Chad.

"Is that seriously what you're called?" said Kratos from atop Riki's shoulder.

"I like it!" said Edbark. "And hold on..."

Suddenly the fleeing trio disappeared. The pursuing trio skidded to a halt.

"Where did they go?!" said Chad.

"Curses!" said Lumine. "One of them's a Zorua! He used his Illusion ability! They could be anywhere!

"Start searching then!" said Stella.

The three started combing through trees and bushes.

--------------------

Some distance away, within the trees, a shimmering revealed Kratos, Edbark, and Riki.

"Nice one Edbark!" said Riki.

"Thanks! I've been practicing," said Edbark.

"I suppose it's a good getaway," said Kratos. "But how do we get back to the path?"

"I figure we just sneak down away from where those goons are and get back on the path, easy!" said Riki.

"Hey guys?" said Edbark. "Does the forest floor feel... loose to you? Like it could give way any second?"

It was that exact second that the forest floor indeed gave way and the three tumbled screaming below.

...Well, Edbark and Riki were screaming. Kratos was just annoyed.

------------

The three landed with a loud thud on some strange vegetable matter, which thankfully cushioned their fall. They got up and rubbed their heads.

"What was that?" said Riki, annoyed.

"A pitfall, apparently." said Kratos.

"Uh, g-guys? Take a closer look..."

Kratos and Riki did. And it was then they saw that the walls of the place they fell in were twisting and moving like coiled serpents, with strange chunks of glowing, flickering matter embedded within.

"This isn't a pitfall. This is a m-mystery dungeon," said Edbark.

"...Oh. Oh that ain't good," said Riki.

"You mentioned these, Edbark... Said they were a disease on reality?" said Kratos.

"Y-yeah, and if this one grows it'll overtake everything! Which is why we g-gotta stop it!"

"You don't sound very convinced," said Kratos.

"The chatterbox is right though," said Riki. "These things grow fast and absorb everything!"

"Yeah! We gotta find the core!" said Edbark.

"Very well," said Kratos. "I will assist you."

Where had he heard this all before?

"Now where is that core?" said Edbark.

"It should be deeper in!" said Edbark. "Follow me! I can smell it!"

He started charging down a literally shifting corridor. The other two followed.

------------

The corridor seemed to stretch on for an uncomfortable amount of time. Eventually, however, Edbartk skidded to a stop.

"Guys, look!"

Before the group were some strange gray and white birds, along with multiples of two different kinds of  striped mammals, one that sat on its tail and another that zigzagged around. All, noticeably, had a flckery, unnatural glow to their eyes.

"Oh no... Dungeon ferals," said Edbark. "Some Starly, Zigzagoon, and

"How are they different from regular ferals?" said Kratos.

"Regular ferals just kinda... exist," said Edbark. "They theoretically can think as well as we can, but all their thought processes are focused on survival. Hiding from predators, being predators, eating, making Eggs. Dungeon ferals are ferals that got corrupted by the dungeon's influence. They now only exist to aid the dungeon's spread and protect it from anything. Anyone."

"Yeah they won't stop until you're dead, chased out, or assimilated," said Riki.

Kratos was reminded of the balance back home, the journey of the Chosen, the two worlds, the expspheres, how it all added back up to something very wrong, something he was instrumental in. He knew he was going to have to get to the bottom of this some way, somehow.

"Is there any way we can defeat them?" said Kratos. "Or get around them?"

"That I don't know," said Edbark. They are blocking our way..."

"Charge through them, catch them by suprise with attacks, then try to make an escape," said Kratos.

"Sounds good!" said Riki. "But uh... Can you fight?"

"I did fire those blades of air back wiith the Rascal Rouges... If I can do it again..."

"Alright!" said Edbark. "L-let's do this!"

And then they charged.

The dungeon ferals weren't sure how to react at first as the trio barreled through, but after they got their bearings they lunged without hesitation. The trio countered with blades of air, pulses of darkness, and strong bites, holding them back.

Eventually, fighting their way past the group of dungeon ferals, they saw a path to a glow down below.

"There's our escape!" said Edbark. "Come on!"

The three rushed down the path, then skidded to a halt when they saw what was the other side.

A large glowing, flickering, orb, embedded above them, warping the plant matter about it, spitting out small chunks of itself to spread around the dungeon.

"There's the core!" said Edbark. "We gotta kill it!"

Kratos couldn't stop staring in horror at the core. It seemed like... It was staring back.

He shook his head and fired more air blades at the thing.

The core shuddered, pulsed, then fired a laser at Kratos as a crack appeared on its surface.

Kratos fluttered out of the way just in time as Riki clawed at the orb and Edbark fired blasts of darkness at it. Cracks continued to form on the orb as it fired more lasers until finally it started shaking violently.

"It's gonna blow! Get back!"

The orb, indeed, blew as the three tossed themselves out of the way.

Immediately, the dungeon twisted in a massive upheaval as the group were pushed upward and upward and upward -

And it was over. The dungeon was gone. They were on the forest floor again. A bunch of confused Starly, Sentret, and Zigzagoon gained their bearings and fled into the woods. Edbark cheered.

"Woo! We did it! We beat a mystery dungeon!"

"We did," said Riki. "But weren't we on our way to find that meteor?"

"Oh, right." said Edbark, sheepishly.

"We'll just have to find our way again," said Kratos.sighing.

-----

The three trudged onward through the forest until, finally, they broke through to a field.

There, far off in the distance, was a city.

"We found something!" said Edbark.

"Is it the right something though?"

"Only one way to find out!:" said Rioki.

He and Edbark rushed ahead, Kratos sighed and followed.

Not much had changed.

****

Art time!

Riki by canisares

Riki again by Windskull

Stoakes and Edbark by Delirious Absol

I'm hoping to get the next chapter out sooner rather than later! Gotta make sure to write more of an outline first, that will help.

[augeeks]

Chris Hemsworth on ‘Extraction’: It’s the most exhausting ride I’ve ever been on

When the exhilarating action film “Extraction” begins streaming on Netflix on Friday, you’ll see a side of Chris Hemsworth you don’t often see.

But there’s no need to take our word for it because “Extraction” director Sam Hargrave swears by it. In our recent video chat with the debuting filmmaker and his dashing lead star, Sam extolled this “side of Chris that people haven’t seen—at least, not on this level.”

Make no mistake, this may be Sam’s directorial debut, but he’s really no newcomer on the filmmaking block.

Before this directing gig landed on his lap, Sam was one of Hollywood’s most accomplished stunt coordinators, having cut his teeth into projects like “The Hunger Games,” “Atomic Blonde” and those crowd-pleasing superhero films from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where he served as Chris’ stunt double and “Endgame’s” stunt coordinator.

Justifying Sam’s hiring, screenwriter Joe Russo (“Avengers: Endgame”) explained, “The best action films are those where the action is used to illuminate character and their choices. A character’s emotional life is told through action—and Sam does that brilliantly.”

As it turns out, Sam wasn’t just paying lip service after breathing palpable cinematic life into Joe’s original script, inspired by his graphic novel “Ciudad.”

Even Chris’ reaction to the aforementioned flattering statement is in seeming synchronicity with his director’s.

“Doing ‘Extraction’ was the most exhausting ride I’ve ever been on,” the actor admitted. “The shoot was very challenging. But there was such a sense of accomplishment after every sequence at the end of each day.”

Having found Chris fun, open and accessible in our previous interview with him, we weren’t really surprised by Sam’s “testimony” because, in our experience as a theater director, we’ve always known that the most “open” actors are the type whose portrayals end up resonating instantly and deeply with audiences.

“They’ve seen Chris as Thor swinging a hammer and punching people in the face, but [his participation in this project] drives the action genre to the next level,” Sam explained. “Truthfully, we are just scratching the surface of this guy. Where his potential and work ethic are concerned, the sky’s the limit with Chris. So, all I wanted to do was to keep pushing that limitless potential.”

To film enthusiasts familiar with Chris’ body of work, he’s certainly no stranger to characters tasked with a do-or-die mission. He may have been mostly seen in actioners where characterization over spectacle is the norm, notably in high-profile projects where performances are often made to take the backseat.

But the 36-year-old actor has always managed to show how high the stakes are for any role he essays onscreen—from the splashy “dramedic” antics of Thor in the blockbuster “Avengers” flicks and the sleek true-to-life car-racing drama “Rush,” to the horror-comedy “Cabin in the Woods” and the twisted fairy tale “Snow White and the Huntsman.”

He even knows how to poke fun at himself, most memorably for his winkingly naughty turn in Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley’s “Vacation” and as the affable eye-candy in the estrogen-fueled reboot of “Ghosbusters” four years ago.

“Extraction” delivers the heady mix of hard action and compelling drama when grief-stricken Australian mercenary Tyler Rake (Chris) gets his “death wish” answered.

Tyler and his team are called in for a financially lucrative mission to rescue Ovi Mahajan Jr. (Rudhraksh Jaiswal), the 14-year-old son of an imprisoned Indian drug lord (Pankaj Tripathi), who has been kidnapped by Ovi Sr.’s fierce Bangladeshi rival in Dhaka, Amir Asif (Priyanshu Painyuli).

Tyler is tasked to turn Ovi over to Saju (Randeep Hooda), Ovi Sr.’s right-hand man, after he “extracts” Ovi from Amir’s lair. But just as he’s about to wrap up his mission, Tyler learns that he’s been tricked into it with not enough funds for his deadly feat! This is when Tyler must make a Solomonic choice. What to do?

The urgently paced film follows the cat-and-mouse chase that ensues from India to Bangladesh, using exotic, “nonmainstream” locations handpicked by Sam and his creative teams in India and Thailand.

In fact, for “Extraction’s” crucial and final action sequence, which culminates with an epic gun battle on a bridge, the production had to sift through so many bridges—all 72 of them—just to capture the claustrophobic feel needed for the movie’s bullet-ridden penultimate set piece, which required more than 300 security men during the difficult shoot!

Read also: 'Capone': Tom Hardy as Al Capone in a first trailer

Our Q&A with Chris (C) and Sam (S):

Chris, you have a created a character that isn’t hard to root for. Did you research on a particular mercenary to understand Tyler Rake? And how did you relate to his grief and recklessness?

C: We had a beautiful building block, which is the script that Sam and I responded to. [It’s also the reason why we] jumped on board. With this character, there’s something I can immediately relate to, having children myself.

The idea that any of that being jeopardized or threatened adds an extra layer of truth in your performance that you can use. In my early discussions with Sam about Tyler, it was important to not have this guy be one-dimensional—that [overused] idea that the hero of a film is simply indestructible or “Terminator-esque.” It was about having someone flawed and vulnerable … and someone who has demons. The guy has to be emotionally complicated.

It is this complexity that then dictates his fighting style, and the way he was kamikaze-like suicidal, that would push his movement and the way he would approach a mission, with very little regard for his own safety.

So, I was constantly tracking that and his emotional arc as he meets this young boy and how his interaction with Ovi changes him.

Sam, how has the transition been, from stunt director to film director, so far?

S: It’s a dream come true! I always knew that I was destined for it. But I worked so hard to get here—a path similar to a few former stunt coordinators who have come before me, like Chad Stahelski (“John Wick”) and David Leitch (“Atomic Blonde”).

Much of my path has informed my style and approach to filmmaking. Every time I was designing my action sequences, I was already practicing directing because it was always telling the story through action—it was never just action for the sake of action. It was never meant to make someone look cool. It always had to move the story forward and reveal something about character. So, those wonderful opportunities I’ve had through the years were the building blocks for becoming a director. Then, getting the opportunity, which I will forever be grateful for, was Joe Russo trusting me with a script that both Chris and I connected with.

What’s the most important part of the film that you want the audience to see?

C: In particular, there’s what we call a “oner,” a 12-minute action sequence where there’s a series of single shots that are then seamlessly pieced and cut together to look like it’s one continuous take. It took about two weeks to shoot!

That was incredibly challenging (laughs) because with the wide shots, we couldn’t have stunt guys come in and switch. If we made a mistake, we couldn’t cut to another angle. So, it had to be all-in and I had to be me right in the thick of it—with Sam right there moving with the camera in front of the car, diving across buildings and during the fight sequences.

But once we pulled it off, it felt like we’ve really done something special and pretty unique. I’m excited for people to see it.

S: Yes. That’ll probably be what most people will talk about and gravitate toward. But for me, what I found most challenging and satisfying was building the relationship between Tyler and Ovi. And I hope people end up relating to that relationship.

The action in the movie is pretty intense, but it’s motivated by what Tyler is going through.

What did you find fulfilling about the shoot?

C: Doing something unique or something that hasn’t been seen before is the biggest challenge. And I’m very proud of what we’ve done here, especially if you know how Sam shoots and how he’s there behind the camera right throughout all of these sequences. It instantly gives the scenes an energy and more buzz that you can’t fake.

S: I would have to turn the love right back on Chris because I can design this with all the crazy action sequences that you want, but if you don’t have the talent to get it done and perform it to the level that you need, all that would just be bad theater.

We rehearsed a lot, and Chris put in many hours and hard work into the rehearsal process

How did you keep the elements of action and drama from overwhelming each other?

S: It’s all about balance. In action scenes, the action has to help tell a story and reveal things about character. With emotional scenes, you try to show motivations that will lead to these actions being performed. It’s all about all weaving the threads through.

If you lay the foundation early enough about what this character is going through, then you can put obstacles his way that become satisfying for him to overcome. So, part of the fun was weaving these elements in and trying to highlight our incredible set pieces in the places we shot—from India and Thailand.

The exotic locations and those confined spaces during chase scenes set “Extraction” apart from other action films. What kind of preparation was required, logistically, for a film that looks this big and busy?

S: Oh, it required a lot of preparation! It was big and busy—and was written that way. Joe did a very smart thing by setting the story in that side of the world. You know, there’s a rich history of cinema over in India, but western audiences haven’t really seen a lot of that side of the world. So, that made the shoot there pretty cool.

We found a great space in India to call our home base, which allowed us to get the kind of look we wanted and have as much control as we could have. There were certain days that we would be doing part of those “oner” sequences where we’re racing cars down the street and we’d have over 300 security personal, just to make sure that everyone was safe, because there’s so much vibrant life and energy in that city.

Another challenge presented itself when we got to Thailand: We went through 72 different bridges until we found one that we ended up using [for the finale]. Hopefully, “Extraction” is worth all the effort and thought we put into it.

[aalt-ctrl-del]

09 _ Straw Spun to Silk

  Graphic Content Warning - Gore, Mutilation, child death. Hey, enjoy!

First - A Gentleman in a Coat

Chapter 09 - When You Weep and Sew

 For what must’ve been the fiftieth time, Chad made an effort to walk on the side of the sloping channel. The water sloshed through his sodden shoes, hit footwear was practically liquefied by now, brimming with debris and water else surged beneath the surface. He kept the leant flashlight elevated, to prevent a view of that putrid swill.

 Again, he almost slipped on the oily slope, and abandoned all attempts until he reached a zone of elevated terrain or dry ground. He didn’t need to go breaking his only light source, and getting soaked all in the same go. His clothing had a greasy texture by now, from splattering and the humid air heavy – the particles of air swarmed thick like cake in the flashlights acrid beam. He turned the light towards Tucker and Neil; their back and forth the only reverberation shredding the darkness abundant.

 They were arguing. Nothing new there. Tucker insisted he stay on point, Neil was convinced they were going in circles and were going to keep going in circles unless someone else decided which routes to take; that individual being him.

 “I know where we’re going,” Tucker insisted, in a roar. “I’m keeping track of where we’ve been – I have it all memorized.”

 “That’s obviously not working” Neil shot back. “Every turn we take, keeps leading us deeper into nothing. None of this looks familiar – none of this adds up.”

 “Just ‘cause your Papi worked the sewers, doesn’t mean you know jackshit! I’m telling you we keep going on my lead, or we’re gonna wind up getting turned around worse. Too many chefs in the kitchen spoils the pot—”

 Usually, Tucker was more level headed than this; open to advice and receptive to input. But they were exhausted and thirsty; roaming the various tunnel channels seemed to sap them of liquid and energy. Chad smacked his lips, and swung his light towards the ceiling and the grungy ravels of moldering substance. He leaned on the shortspade, the spade braced to a wall to spare Chad from touching the fould surface.  

 “A man out to sea, water as far as his eye can see, but not a drop to spare,” Chad murmured.

 Hugo was not far from his position, but he didn’t intend to be heard by him or anyone. Hugo had gone oddly quiet as they wandered aimless, and Chad was certain he was crying at some point. Hugo’s eyes were puffy, his face reddened. His misery probably amplified by the fact he wasn’t the one arguing it out with Neil; his whole spark was extinguished.

 Hugo laughed. It was so sudden and unexpected, a distinct length of time following Chad’s proclamation.

 “We’re fucked.”

 “I feel like I’ve been here,” Chad offered. “Maybe dreamed something like this.” Hugo giggled again. “It’s not funny!”

 “Sorry.” Hugo took a breath, and regained some semblance of sanity. “I’m not supposed to be here.”

 “We’re kind of lost.” Chad picked up his feet, and proceeded to follow the other two. Apparently, a decision was made, but it was unclear who won. “We weren’t supposed to leave the line. Hugo?” He stopped and waited, until Hugo began moving.

 Chad noted they were followed the current, presuming that the water would let out somewhere, possibly the Barrens. They already tried that scheme some time ago, even go so far as to crawl through the large sift grates clogged by flotsam. But, as before it was determined they were going in circles somehow, and tactics changed up.

 “Still hoping to find your brother down here?” Hugo mentioned. Chad whipped his head up towards his taller friend.

 “I – uh, no. He wouldn’t be down here,” Chad fumbled. He knew Sterling wouldn’t be caught dead in this place, but… he distinctly recalled a yawning place in his mind where he once believed that his brother did sneak down into a sewer. He recalled the conversation he and the others had earlier when they felt lighter, jubilant with the prospect of using the sewer as a ‘secret highway’ to go between their homes undetected. Sterling had built several homes-away-from-home around the surrounding woods, utilizing spare materials left over from construction. No way he’d be down here.

 “I don’t even get why we didn’t just turn back,” Chad murmured. “This was stupid. But, I think Neil’s right. We should’ve seen something more familiar, like some kind of plate with directions or a marker.” Hugo shrugged.

 “Could be an area that hasn’t been modernized.”

 The argument between Tucker and Neil didn’t diminish in the slightest; the two boys constantly bickered on forks in the path and the occasional intersecting corridor the group came upon. Somewhere between the harsh words, Chad came between the two and fought to dissuade the brunt of the rage. Throughout the heat and the shoving, Hugo became more and more withdrawn.

 “We have to stick together!” Chad howled. He managed to squeeze between Tucker and Neil and keep them out of arms reach; the two starting swiping and taunting, a sure lead up to punching and brawling in the chunky water. The runoff was not too deep in this length of the sewer tunnel, but it didn’t smell any better. “We have to sit down and think! You can murder each other later!”

 “We’re not sittin’ here and twiddling our thumbs!” Tucker boomed. He backed off at Chad’s doggedness; not that Chad had any strength on his older companions, but Tucker knew he was far from the cause of their suffering. “If we start that, we won’t get anywhere.”

 “He’s right,” Neil conceded, still panting from the hollering. “We keep moving. I don’t know how long our batteries will hold up, and it’ll be far worse trying to navigate in the dark.”

 And so it went for an undetermined length of time. The four friends didn’t have the stretch of shadows of the peak of sunlight to determine how long they took tunnels and channels. Chad felt the distinct certainty that some of the areas were in fact familiar, but he said nothing. That was his fever stupor, and for a short time they were making progress. The fighting let up, and Hugo came out of his somber retreat of silence to talk and suggest a course of action. Up until, something became very clearly off to Chad. He couldn’t quite place what it was.

 The three deduced which passage to turn into; a corridor intersected further down, but they had an immediate fork on the right side. It hit Chad as he swung his light between the two routes. He spun in place, flabbergasted.

 “Where is Tucker?”

 Hugo and Neil winced. They shared a look, then turned to Chad, flashlights bounding across thick current and debris – as if Tucker would rise from the diseased shallows.

 “My god,” Neil breathed. “When—”

 “He was right here!” Hugo yelped. His pitch reached panicked levels. “Right here! I swear, I didn’t lose track of him.”

 “We must’ve gotten separated—” Neil choked. He brushed past Chad, gripping the other boys shoulder before he could tumble – the water was up to Chad’s thighs. “He fell, or sat down – my god. No-no, this hasn’t just happened!”

 “He was right here!”

 The reduced group reached the end of the channel, where the ark hung low with ravels of unidentified plant matter and the walls glistened against the light. Water spewed from a pipe higher on the wall, enriching the walls with gurgling and sorrow. The path extended ahead, and there was a bend, but another channel opened to their left.

 “How are we going to find him? How?” Neil moaned. His light winked down – he prodded at the remains of a stuffed animal.

 Chad sucked in a stale breath. It looked just like a teddybear. His hand snapped up and caught the satin tie tied around his neck; he felt the weight of the mask drag on his neck, where the tie wore.

 “Which way did we come?” Hugo whispered.

 “I don’t know.” Neil stamped his foot on the toy, and water sobbed from its sawdust torso. He moved to the path with the churning water, ahead.

 The contradiction spun in Chad’s head, as they attempted to retrace their steps. Treading deep water, and sometimes on soaked silty pathways. It was apparent they had not gone the right way to locate their friend. It was equally possible they would all die, lost and forever missing in the sewers. But he was right there; Chad saw Tucker… he couldn’t recall exactly when, or what the background looked like. No specifics. Everything. Looked. The. Same.

 Chad was reduced to uncontrollable tremors, and Hugo was crying.

 “Hugo,” Neil snapped. They were squeezing through another of the grate dividers; Chad and Neil were already through, but Hugo just stood on the other side, face a mess of grime and snot, he kept choking and sucking on the foul air. “Keep it together! C’mon!” Neil reached an arm through, as if it would be easier than escorting an elderly man through a doorway. Hugo burbled and coughed, his words a mess.

 “I’m sorry,” Hugo babbled. “I’m so-so sorry.” He heaved another agonized breath.

 “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Chad uttered.  He joined Neil at the grate, reaching through. “Hugo, please. We do better when we’re moving.”

 It was lie, of course. There was no progress being made, they just went in circles. The three (four?) were trapped in this hellish loop, lost in a nightmare of decay. Nothing would come if—

 Chad wasn’t certain if Hugo and Neil had heard it. He withdrew his arm and twisted back; his light glint over Neil’s struck features. He heard as well. The recognition despaired Chad instead of relieve.

 The sound was a muted but evident shriek.

 Neil tucked through the gap in the grate and snared Hugo by the upper sleeve. “Hurry!” Chad turned his light onto the tunnel yawning ahead.

 “This way! I’m certain it came from here!” Chad heaved. He was leaping over chucks of wreckage, clambering to a small access chute on a walkway. “Are you coming?” It was obvious they were, but it didn’t slat his panic. The added lights of Hugo and Neil swarmed his figure, as they tucked down the relatively clear access.

 Another barked ring tore out. Chad never stopped in his tracks, but Neil caught him from behind and urged him onward.

 “Good-good,” Neil gasped.  “We’re here. We’ll find him.”

 “That doesn’t sound like Tucker,” Hugo whined. He kept repeating this, over and over.

 The ceiling of the passage curved down low, and the trio collided with a level of water with a submerged dip. Hugo went toppling face first into the murk; the torch he carried doused immediately.

 “Up! Hurry!” Neil urged. He grabbed Hugo and hoisted him, waterlogged and gasping, back to his feet and hauled him along. The two fumbled at the other, the water frothed around them. It was unclear if they were making progress or struggling on the spot not to go down once more in the viscous swell rising.

 “No-no-no!” Hugo wailed.

 Neil punched through the sorrow and struggles, “We have to find Tucker! You hear him too!”

 “Noo!” Hugo bellowed.

 Chad detached from the two, and wadded forward. He thought about swatting Hugo over the head with his shovel, but Neil was getting him under control. The two were a mess of slimy reeds, clinging to one another for dear life. Chad kept moving, using his light as a guide. Somehow, Neil’s torch hadn’t suffered in the tsunami.

 “I think it opens over there,” Chad called, in way of encouragement. He found footholds beneath the shallows, with each step the liquid thinned. He moved toward an angular slot in the bricked wall, the texture beneath his shoes was lumpy and course. “D’you hear that?”

 Collectively, the trio stalled movement. The steady drip-plip of their sodden clothing hammered on the confines of the knobby walls. But the utterance and pitiful, inhuman rambling was unmistakable. It didn’t stop Neil, disturbed and shaken, from speaking up:

 “What is that?”

 Chad ignored the rhetoric’s, and scooted into the narrow opening. Upon entry nothing immediately was apparent, aside from the floors and walls that Chad’s light snatched up in miniscule segments; the dark was a formidable barrier the puny tool could not pluck at. Along the base of some nearby walls waded drain access, gurgling thick boiling mucus. The utterance claimed his abrupt focus:

 “Tucker!” Chad bolted toward the figure, but halted in two strides.

 Behind Tucker stretched a ribbed, rippling pool – the light of Chad’s torch alit on the crescent slates that glided behind each wave. The water broke and rolled, sloshing – though Tucker was a good five feet from the shore, with a sizable brick slope between him and the shore.

 Neil and Hugo nearly collided into Chad – they had not been far behind, and with one light between them it was easier to become misguided. The inky mar hovered tight to their drenched figures, as if inspecting the new arrivals and sniffing deeply. Neil’s light dipped, and found Tucker’s blanched face.

 For several seconds, Tucker gawked at the three, blinking at the sudden radiance to bombard his face. At first his expression seemed terrified, and then confused. Relief never took the pliant mold of his skull.

 “I can’t—”

 It was like a switch was flipped. Chad didn’t know why, but he retreated backwards from the despairing face of his best friend – full on propelled his body backwards, and nearly threw Neil and Hugo down in the process.

 Hugo began screaming. White, blinding peels of unrestrained, scalding screeching. Within seconds, he was rasping on dusty, pulverized lungs; barely wheezing.

 Neil alone launched himself forward. He reached Tucker in five bonds and stooped down, and stopped abruptly. His eyes turned up as a large mass descended to the shore, or more accurately to Tucker’s legs. Neil spun his light up, the beam caught glittering orange eyes, sprawling shawls filled with dozens of interlacing and blazing threads. It clicked and warbled, long ears twitching atop its crown.

 Tucker was shrieking, long before it buried its jaws into his shoulder.

 Chad hit the wall and dropped to his butt; the shortspade clattered over his feet. He stole in ragged, pained breathes; each one more shallow than the last. Spots pulsed across his eyes, blurring out the intense blaze of the flashlight in his lap. He couldn’t see what was happening, he couldn’t see anything. He heard Neil yelp something, and a strange, nasally snort.

 “I’m sorry! God, I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” Hugo whimpered. “I didn’t want— I-I-I—” On he went, blubbering and begging. “I didn’t want to die! I DIDN’T!”

 A breathy grunt heaved out of Neil. “Help me!”

 “No!” Hugo barked. Then he was mewling, once more, but for a different cause.

 The eyes in the winged mass blazed – a light from within the skull burned unnaturally. Chad could define the splayed nostrils, the tall ears, and the jaws filled with rows and rows of teeth. A wild woosh filled the cavern as it lifted, the water at its mercy sighed in reverence of Its might. It was not unlike an aquatic bird descending on the water’s surface to pluck up a fish, except that the force was a turbulent ahilstorm, and the gust shoved Chad roughly against the wall. The winged thing screeched suddenly—

 Something distinctly metal snapped.

 “Run! Run-run-RUN! Move!” Neil charged into view, with Tucker hanging off his side. Tucker’s legs dragged, he looked more dead than alive. Tucker’s shirt was torn through, his bleached body soaked scarlet; Chad almost believed this was a corpse Neil stole. But Tucker’s head lolled, and he met Chad’s distraught stare. In Tucker’s eyes was no relief, or panic, nor pain – there was a kind of light, but it was cast far back into the depths of his mind, and very cold to look at.

 “Jeesus, Hugo! On your feet!” Neil snarled. He was barely on his own feet, stumbling and losing grip of Tucker.

 Chad broke from his paralysis. He snatched up his shovel and the flashlight, then, lunged for Hugo.

 “Hugo!” That wasn’t what Chad meant to say, but saying his name did break Hugo from his blithering apologizes. Chad winced when Hugo took his upper arm, and used his shorter friend to stand; Hugo did begin pulling Chad along after the other two, but Chad suspected he needed the light more than anything. Chad’s feet slipped over the glossy stone with each step, his pace fanning out wider with the bolstered speed Hugo undertook.

 A noise from across the chamber stole Chad’s focus. It was a powerful wallop clapping midair, pulverizing his eardrums. Right as Hugo heaved himself and Chad through the narrow gap, Chad tore his flashlight back and drenched a pair of eyes and yellow gaping teeth in shreds of a blaze. The eyes were an ugly yellow, the kind of yellow bones turn when the grease of sun-bleached skin bakes into the ivory. Chad was certain it was a bat – he’d seen pictures of bats in Aesops Book of Morals – it had all the characteristics of a giant, monster bat. But the jaws were set wide and broken, the inner cavity of the mouth lined with dozens, maybe hundreds of tiny teeth. Or, he could have been mistaken.

 Chad toppled backwards as the creature slammed into the outer wall of the barrier – there came a sound of crackling, and chittering garble. The light of the torch went out briefly as Chad and Hugo tumbled, panicked and confused. A sharp hook snared Chad by his ankle and yanked him backwards, he would’ve been skinned by the narrow opening of the pass.

 If Neil hadn’t sprung in. The light from Chad’s torch glint over… a blade. Hugo’s katana!

 With a battle cry, Neil brought the blade down. The sickle released Chad, and a ratty squeal cut through the angular passage. There was sounds of scuffling and snuffling, and perhaps more, but Neil had already coiled an arm around Chad and hoisted him up.

 “Hugo!” Neil frothed. The other beam from the surviving flashlight found the other boy, still sprawled on the rocks. “Get it together! You can’t do this here!”

 Chad regained his bearings and slung out of Neil’s grip. “I’ll take him. Hugo. Please.” Chad pinned the shovel underarm, and pried at Hugo’s shoulders. “Tucker. We have to carry Tucker.”

 Somehow, for a meager few minutes, good fortune sided with the group. They made it out of the channel, and found their way back to the network of sewer system that was vaguely familiar at best. But they were still lost, wandering with two flashlights between them now, and a gravelly injured friend. Hugo was not much help in sharing the weight of dragging Tucker; he stumbled in a haze, still grappling with apologies that collected into dead air. For the most part, they were silent. Barely would they discuss a path or route; it fell to the one that began shuffling their feet edging with Tucker. No more did they care where they were headed, that no longer mattered.

 No one uttered a word about the creature they encountered. But Neil did carry the snapped Katana still. Somehow, he kept the light forward, held Tucker’s ragged body, and held the light steady; the sharp illumination strong beside Chad’s.

 The only one that actively spoke, was the broken Tucker. He mumbled about his demise, how he was lost and wandering the dark. He saw light – sunlight, but he couldn’t catch up to it.

 “Stay with us, Tuck,” Neil heaved. “We’re getting out of here. We’ll find the way out.”

 Chad blinked hard, the copper fumes burned his nostrils and stung his eyes. That was what he insisted to himself. The back of his throat was salty and dry, with each swallow he lost a little bit of control of his resolve. They were going to die. They were going to die. They were going to lose their minds and die.

 “I’m sarr-eh. Suur-y. Kidd-el. Keh-ded… us. Ded. Ded.”

 “No Tucker,” Neil rebuked. “We’re getting out of here.  All of us! We’re— Hugo! Take Tucker for a bit. Get over here!”

 Reluctantly, Hugo shuffled through the shallows and relieved Chad. After a short spell, Hugo looked at Chad. “You did a good job.”

 That statement made no sense to Chad. He almost expected an apology, and perhaps that was what Hugo meant to do – apologize again. Or something in Hugo’s head had snapped, like a thread of muscle bearing too much weight. Something in their plucky, sarcastic amigo had shattered completely.

 The thought made Chad tremble harder than he was before. His light trailed on the back of his friends; he got a good look of Tucker, legs grating through layers of rotted mulch. He put the light ahead of Hugo’s legs and began to follow.

 “ChaAAaddy.”

 Chad froze. If he looked back, moved a muscle, he would be taken. No scream, no resistance, he would simply cease to exist. That knot in his throat became a blackhole, tearing at his voice box and lungs. With delicate precision the such to master threading a needle, he shifted in his rooted spot and guided the flashlight back.

 Melded with the sharp forever of the corridor, a pair of legs. Something tingled in the back of Chad’s mind; the silken texture of the knees, and the skirt… was too familiar. Bells hummed a gentle rhythm in the back of his mind, nearly superimposing the silhouette of an enormous, ravenous bat. But the face that met his, directly too close and not as distant as Chad had expected, was blinding white. Chiseled marble with red slashes—

 The figure was gone within a blink, and Chad was certain he made up the foggy impression. A mad hallucination in his brittle thoughts. But the tears felt real. Hot and salty, tracing exact counter designs down his cheeks and converging on his chin. Big, swollen, haunted dollops.

 The cry that bolted from Chad’s lungs was barely human. He whipped about on heel and staggered towards Neil and Hugo. They had dragged their friend onto the slope and rubble of the channel’s flow; Neil was covered in blood, and juggling the flashlight in the crook of his arm. He was trying to fix a slab of flesh that peeled back from Tucker’s arm.

 “You’re not dying,” Neil groaned. “We have to—”

 Chad’s bleat cut Neil off. He pulled Hugo by the arm, screaming, “We have to move! We can’t stay!” It didn’t require further convincing; the utter turmoil was palpable. Neil and Hugo situated Tucker between them, and more or less kept balance as they plodded along. Fast. The tender tow that was adapted was now discarded; the group put energy and focus on moving, and never looked back.

 Not until the toppled out of a narrow drain chute, and barely collecting themselves discovered Tucker hung up in driftwood.

 “Ah! God no!” Neil coughed. He was on his knees in the sludge, up to his waist and fumbling to unhook Tucker.

 Chad was there, his flashlight nearly dissolved in the water had he not plopped in face first; hands above his head as he took in a mouthful of foul liquid. It occurred to him that Tucker’s skin might’ve unraveled, and a chunk was wrapped in the sleek texture of old reeds.

 To his revulsion, that was not held Tucker.

 Clumps of heavy memories swelled in his mind, overwhelming his taxed senses. There came the runoff drain from the ditch; the dank and endless corridors twisting and looping back into each other; the aroma of sultry sweets topped by putrid rot.

 And then there were the eyes. The teeth. And gnarled, emaciated hand latched to Tucker’s leg. Tucker bawled and floundered, choking out more water than air.

 “I d-n’t,” he wallowed, between gurgled gnashes. “Don’wan ‘ie!”

 Neil huffed and thrashed in the water beside Tucker; the whole time being swatted mercilessly. “I can’t,” Neil gulped, “He won’t. It won’ let!  Hugo! Chad! You’re light! Over here!” As he screamed, Neil craned his head up and over the lip of the pipe chute.

 Neil was a mere four feet away from the heap of coat, crouched over Tucker’s lower half. But Neil pressed his gaze into the tunnel. Chad found his voice.

 “Spate?”

 A swarm of dark dust spread through the elegant spear of the torch light. In a second, Chad recognized his error. He recalled the coat was worn, but this thing protruding with odd angles where the fabric – in near ravels – wove over shoulder joints and ribs. The skull was not chiseled graffiti, but stained and yellow on one portion whereas the other half was bleached – a few whiskers stuck from the canines.

 From a tunnel off to the right of the group, a second coat and skull barreled in; the tails of its coat swirled over the surface of the water – the hat was distinct and different from the similar creature holding Tucker fast. Chad tried again, screaming the name this time. Hugo gave a sharp glare.

 “What are you saying? Get a grip Chad! Hugo, get his waist. I’ll check his leg.” Neil’s response was a haggard growl, frustration butchered by grief. Tucker was being dragged away, and with him Neil and Hugo. “What the FUCK!”

 The narrow brim of the skulls hat tilted back, the light in the pit of its eye sockets flittered with the glean of the flashlight. To Chad’s dismay, the skull fiend that held Tucker was drawing his body toward the channel they came from. Tucker wailed and flopped his arms out, though weak; he smacked Hugo and Hugo relinquished his hold with no further argument.

 Hugo lunged to his feet and charged off into the dark, his shape dissolving in the murk. His screams came back, but softer as the seconds ticked away.

 “Hugo!” Neil wailed. “You bastard! You bloody bastard!” He shoved his heels into the water, but found no purchase.

 Chad was narrowly on the edge of taking off to. He held the shortpade in his hands like a bat, but all the same disjointed and hesitant. This time, he uttered the name must softer.

 “Spate?”

 This time, the other fiend rolled its snout down but neglected to focus directly on any individual – Chad of Tucker. The tenure in its sentence was brittle, and gritty, “This is time for you to run. You have your client.”

 “God… damn! Chad!” Neil sobbed. “Help me get him!”

 “This one,” the creature hissed. “He stays.”

 Chad wrenched his gaze toward Spate, the slope of water rolling cued his ear. The rims of Spate’s eye sockets smoldered – Chad thought briefly Spate would assist Neil, and throw aside this intruder. But Chad was to be disappointed same as before. He didn’t need a word to understand.

 “No-NO!” Chad dropped beside Neil and took Tucker by the shoulders. His hands slipped in the fresh spill of blood intermixing with the remains of his shirt. Chad swept out with the shortspade, but h creature dipped back out of range. “You let him go!”

 “One. Or all,” the creature rasped. It shook Tucker out of the hold of his friends, and effortlessly hauled the body backwards into the access they originally tumbled from. Neil was screaming, fighting to claw his way back up onto the lip of the pipe. It became apparent after the miles and miles of tunnels navigated, Neil could give no more. Soon Tucker slipped beyond visibility, the last that Chad could make of the fiend was its haunting sulfuric eyes, winking out.

 For a long time, Chad couldn’t move. Was Tucker—

 “Wick,” crooned the skull. He was beside Chad, a hand clasped to the boys shoulder. “You should not have come here.”

 A somber reprieve cradled the tunnel entrance. Somewhere else, a thin stream of water cut into the endless rivers. Neil was sobbing; he finally made it onto the edge of the tunnel chute, but his light cut into the passage. Nothing was revealed. It was vacant. Tucker was gone.

 Chad dragged in the foul air. “Give. Him. BACK!” He twisted to Spate, shortspade and flashlight held at arms-length. He would use one or the other, or both. “Find him!”

 “I can’t,” Spate wheezed. “He was taken. I can’t change that.”

 Chad’s mind whirled. He had to collect the pieces, make sense of the madness. He couldn’t bear Neil’s wallowing. “Find him.”

 “It doesn’t work that way.” The creature swung on the spot, and really examined the area over. “Your friend is gone. And you will have to accept that.”

 “I won’t,” Chad growled. “Your friend took him.” Spate cocked his head, and directed his gaze back toward the passage that Tucker – and the other skull fiend – had vanished back within.

 “Stay here then. Die.” Spate moved away, the water babbled beneath the tail of his coat. “Your friend was dead. Dying. He wouldn’t have made it. You can in the least not waste that sacrifice.”

 The lapping slurry retreated from Chad; his light slipped over the side of Spate’s coat, but he only got a glimpse of the ravels he didn’t recall from before. But his memory of the events, of everything, were not reliable.

 With a sniffle, Chad gathered his resolve, and tentatively moved towards the edge of the tunnel entrance. “Neil. Neil,” he whispered. “We can’t stay here. He’s gone. We have to leave too, before… we have to find Hugo. Hugo ran off.”

 “Fuck Hugo,” Neil choked. “He left us. That son of’a bitch left us.” He groaned and rubbed some of the excess filth from his faces; the soft shimmer of the flashlight Chad carried, offered clarity of his friends features.

 “We have to go,” Chad repeated. “Maybe when we get out, they can send a search party in to find him. Please Neil, I’m scared.” Chad met Neil’s gaze – Neil’s eyes bubbled thick, the mud caked to his face had the thick tear streaks. He held Chad’s attention for a long time.

 “Okay,” Neil conceded. “We have to – have to try, right?”

 It was physically difficult for Neil to stand on his own two feet; he leaned hard on Chad, and somehow Chad kept him upright. The water rolled and odd bits of wreckage bombarded Chad’s shins, but the two managed to stay upright. At the furthest end of the corridor, Spate was waiting beside a small duct. Somewhere, Hugo was out there, without a flashlight. The boys had only one torch between them, and one lone opportunity to liberate themselves from the depths of madness.

 __

 “I accept your offering.”

 “Nu-nuhhh.” Tucker moaned. He bled and bled and bled, the soil beneath his parched skin crimson. “D’n wun… ‘ie.”

 “And you shan’t,” Burr rumbled. And Tucker wouldn’t die. Not here. Not this way.

 The lad mewled and fumbled, but found no hold; weakened by blood loss, he hung limp from the grip that hauled him through the corridors and wreckage left by decades of flooding. A thick haze hung through the low buckle of the ceiling, roots dangled from patches of earth tearing through blisters of brick and mortar. This span of subterranean sewer network was increasingly claustrophobic. In the distance, around a clunky chunk of cement emitted a light. Burr shuddered to dwell what the source was, but he crept toward it.

 There was a steep incline working upward, from the narrow space that admitted Burr into the vast cavity. High above and nestled in the above terrain, rested large rotund openings, shielded by a thick grate with narrow openings. A way out, apparently; he dragged the young lad behind him; the ground was earthy and soft, cluttered with large debris, clothing, some toys, and other personal effects. Despite the illumination offered by the world above, the overall length of the chamber was gloomy. Depressed and infectious, the sunbeams validated the misty pools and patches of terrain they plodded upon.

 Burr snapped his snout toward a far and vague crevice, and the entry pipe high above it. A snide nasally cackle, and a chime of… Something shuffled within the opening, and he caught the whiff of an obscure herb he was long ago acquainted with. His hand snapped loose of Tucker’s leg, and he stepped back – a low, coiling hiss rattled up his ribs.

 Tucker whimpered.

 A flutter of movement, but was it nothing after all? He was positive something moved, and was closing in on their position. No! Not his. Not the coat and bones, left in the forgotten dust of an unmarked crypt. Not he. The color and scent approached the miserable child.

 “Pleaz,” Tucker moaned. “Halll…p.Hull— hello?” He edged his head toward the side, onto a bundle of rotted coveralls. “H’ey. I neehhh….” The lethargy in his words burned from his throat, and his eyes rolled up, and up. He saw exactly what was scuttling towards him – clicking and giggling.

 Tucker screamed with renewed vigor. That might have been the child’s end there, but not while Burr lingered near. He tucked into his coat and submerged his body in a pool of inky water. The shrill of the boy held strong for a full fifteen seconds, before the noise cut off. Then, followed the gnashing and snap-snap-snap of sinew; muscles pulverized, unraveled in hot chunks, exposing the fresh ivory. There wasn’t much left for a voice, nothing but guttural sobs and wet dying. None of that was quick, or merciful.

 Burr couldn’t identify what was there; if not for teases of a shroud, something like human in shape but nothing and never was once human. Ever. The suggestion of form he settled with was an arched and jagged back, teeth – grinning teeth like needles – everywhere, and ravels of silken hide, folded. He didn’t understand what was there, since the lurker wouldn’t show itself except to Its victim. And It didn’t care of him; he was ignored.

 This wasn’t a matter of debate, regardless how Burr constructed his tact. He wasn’t clear if he should be upset or despaired in some manner. He recalled what Spate confessed to him, and how damning the situation was. But, that was the pact which Burr partook in.

 The skull bowed and Burr took flight. He tore from the chamber, out of the natural light and back into the catacombs of the blighted sewer labyrinth. It would not stay preoccupied for long, and would quickly recall the others.

Next - A Thread Unravels

[fulburnedance75-blog]

We Need to Talk About the Twin Peaks Roadhouse

For some, Twin Peaks: The Return has been everything they hoped it would be: Mysterious, terrifying, abstract, funny, romantic, and, perhaps most importantly, weird as absolute fuck. All of the elements that hindered the original series-the fractured tone, soapy theatrics, and general aimlessness-had been cast off in favor of the kind of atmospheric, patchwork storytelling David Lynch came to master in films like Lost Highway, Mulholland Drive, and, to its most extreme extent, Inland Empire. This is bold, ambitious, and joyously frustrating storytelling.

For others, it's been a test of a patience, a viscous swamp of disconnected scenes and illogical characters plodding through a bizarre, peripatetic world. You can't blame them really. I think everyone can remember being annoyed by that farcical murder-robbery sequence in Mulholland Drive when they first saw it. But Lynch fans have come to train themselves to let scenes breathe in lieu of finding the thread. As a million people before have stated much more eloquently, Lynch creates living nightmares, moving images that evoke the broken, unnerving emotions that swirl around the unconscious mind. That's why his work is best viewed uninterrupted-there's a reason there's no chapters on the DVD and Blu-ray releases of Eraserhead and Mulholland Drive.

But that wasn't a possibility for Twin Peaks: The Return, a Showtime miniseries set to unfold over 18 hours. Lynch's inhales and exhales weren't meant to be pondered week-to-week, and while doing so has certainly spawned some fascinating Reddit threads, it's also caused many to lose patience, whether that be with Dougie's monosyllabic antics, Evil Coop's opaque machinations, or, well, all that other stuff. What stuff? You know what stuff. The characters you've probably already forgotten about. The scenes that slipped through your fingers. The quiet revelations eclipsed by Sarah Palmer's appetite or Dale's awakening or, well, an atomic bomb spawning an ancient evil.

Remember Red's magic trick? Or Beverly's sick husband? Or Major Briggs' severed head? Or Carl Rodd's angelic vision? Or Amanda Seyfried even being in this thing? Not everything is going to pay off here, and any fan of Lynch should embrace that. His films almost always leave a few loose threads dangling, but it's those threads that help make rewatches that much more intriguing. To try and grasp the minutiae of Lynch is to stare through a pane of frosted glass; the shapes are there, but the details are fuzzy. For his fans, that's part of the appeal.

This has been especially true of the series' Roadhouse scenes, many of which have featured characters we've never seen discussing characters we've never met. We've seen a few major players pop up there-Shelly, James, and, as of last week, Audrey-but what's become clear is that the Roadhouse is not the place it used to be, and not just because it now has the clout to book the likes of Nine Inch Nails, Chromatics, and Sharon Van Etten.

In the original series, the Roadhouse functioned as both a gathering place and a source of comfort, despite the fact that its owners were involved in both drug trafficking and underaged prostitution. Mysteries were solved there, revelations unfolded, and magic unspooled. In The Return, it remains a gathering place, but something about its core is rotten. The characters we meet there are criminals, losers, and addicts, reflecting a scarred community that's only slipped further and further downhill since Evil Cooper emerged from its woods 25 years previous.

The more things change, the more things stay the same, it seems. Balthazar Getty's Red is running drugs in a manner that seems at least a bit more organized and well-funded than Leo Johnson's rinky-dink operation. Another Renault, Jean-Michel, is still pimping out 15-year old girls via the Roadhouse. Young women like Amanda Seyfried's Becky-a character just about everyone likened to Laura Palmer when she first appeared-are snorting their potential away while dating abusive dopes like Steven-this era's Bobby Briggs. As Richard Horne proves, the next generation of Twin Peaks is the most poisonous of all, and if there's one thing to be taken from these numerous Roadhouse scenes, it's that the community is crumbling as a result. You can see it in the rotting teeth and festering rash of Sky Ferreira's Ella, the gossiping of Abbie and Natalie, and in the fights that can't seem to stop breaking out. It's a fight, after all, that shatters the dream that was Audrey's Dance in Part 16.

In the original series, Twin Peaks was an idyllic vista with a violent undercurrent. Now, that violence is oozing from the grass, infecting its populace. There's a reason the drunk in the jail cell is rotting from the inside out and the girl in the car is bleeding out on the floor of her mom's car. There's a reason we have dirty cops now when the police station was once a paragon of virtue, a place so infectiously good-natured that it brought a cynic like Albert Rosenfield to his knees. It's telling that the most important place we've seen in Twin Peaks so far this season has been Jack Rabbit's Palace, a creation of the imagination.

But the Roadhouse contains multitudes, and online communities have debated its significance since the first few episodes aired. There's Audrey's connection to it, and the belief that the characters we're seeing there are actually manifestations of her own dissociative identity disorder. Zeroing in on this idea are several theories pointing to the possibility that Audrey is actually Tina, the woman who people claim was the last to see the vanished Billy alive. Not sure how deeply I buy this one, necessarily, but here's a few threads that elaborate, should you be so interested. Considering how Audrey's Dance concluded at the close of last week's episode, we're bound to find out come this Sunday.

Others have pointed to the idea that at least some of the Roadhouse scenes are this series' version of Invitation to Love, the in-show soap opera of the first two seasons. Hearing about the interlocking relationships, infidelities, and general gossip of Tina, Billy, Paul, Angela, Clark, and Mary is both a reference to the show's soapy roots and a way to paint a larger portrait of a town that, over the last 25 years, has seen drama surface in the way it does in all small towns. As Rolling Stone puts it, this approach also applies to that frustrating first glimpse we got of Audrey Horne and the mysterious Charlie: The idea behind these climactic 'scenes from a small town' conversations is the same one animating Audrey and Charlie's argument. This idea is that everyone we meet has a story that sprawls out unseen in all directions, and at any moment we're only aware of a tiny fraction of it.

Lynch has said time and again that he loves the world of Twin Peaks and with The Return wanted the space to explore it again. Maybe that means he wanted moments like these, slices of life that lead in no particular direction. Or, hey, maybe they do all point to larger mystery that we're yet to fully comprehend. If nothing else, they've at least given us some beautiful music. Regardless, let's take a look at each Roadhouse scene one-by-one. These don't include music-only scenes, FYI, but that shouldn't stop you from revisiting Sharon Van Etten's gorgeous rendition of Tarifa.

__________________________________________________________

Part 2

What Happens: Shelly (Mdchen Amick) drinks with her friends, lamenting her daughter's boyfriend, Steven Burnett. What? Everybody loves Steven, says Renee (Jessica Szohr). That's when James Hurley (James Marshall) arrives with a Brit wearing a green glove named Freddie Sykes (Jake Wardle). Shelly says James was in a motorcycle accident, and defends him when some of her friends take shots at him. James is still cool, she says. He's always been cool.

James makes eyes at Renee, who's into it. Meanwhile, Shelly is getting eyed by a handsome newcomer named Red (Balthazar Getty), who mimes shooting her. Given that this is the ex of both Leo Johnson and Bobby Briggs, she is predictably smitten. Shelly just loves those bad boys.

Eagle-eyed fans will also notice Walter Olkewicz, the man who played Jacques Renault, tending bar, though the credits reveal that it's not the long-deceased Jacques, but Jean-Michel. Those Renaults breed like rabbits, it appears.

What It Means: Unlike other Roadhouse scenes, this one exists mainly to broaden the world, introduce some relationships, and, most importantly, reintroduce some familiar faces after two hours of Black Lodging and New York mystery boxes. What's easy to miss on the first watch, however, is the positive characterization of Steven, which is surprising in retrospect considering he seems to carry himself like the abusive, unemployed, drug-abusing dickhead he is.

Who's Onstage: Chromatics, playing Shadow

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Part 5

What Happens: Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) smokes a cigarette below a No Smoking sign, causing the manager, Frederico (Vincent Castellanos), to come over and tell him to put it out. Chad Broxford (John Pirruccello), who we've briefly met as a deputy in the Twin Peaks police department, says he'll handle it. Richard gives him his pack of cigarettes, which is filled with cash. Clearly, Chad is helping Richard with some kind of illegal activity.

When Chad leaves, a girl named Charlotte (Grace Victoria Cox) asks Richard for a light. He asks her to sit by him; after she does, he grabs her violently, growling, You wanna fuck me, Charlotte? You wanna fuck? I'm gonna laugh when I fuck you, bitch. Charlotte's friend, Elizabeth (Jane Levy), tells Richard to leave her alone, but he holds on. That the scene ends here makes it that much more terrifying.

What It Means: This is our first glimpse of Richard and he pretty much immediately establishes himself as a goddamned psychopath. Twin Peaks was always a dark place, but never was violence flaunted as flagrantly as it is here. In the old days, someone like Big Ed would've been on Richard in a second. Here, the people at the next table over don't even notice. Charlotte's friends don't leave their booth. Nobody helps her, and the scene ends with her still wrapped in Richard's arms, his laughs burbling beneath the bleating music.

Couple all of this with the fact that Richard is collaborating with a corrupt cop and it becomes clear that this is not the Twin Peaks we used to know.

Who's Onstage: Trouble, playing Snake Eyes

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Part 7

What Happens: A dude sweeps the floor for two-and-a-half minutes before Renault takes a phone call. I sent him two blondes, he says before revealing he's speaking about two 15-year old prostitutes. He calls them straight-A whores in the same oily tone Jacques used when skeezing all over Laura in Fire Walk With Me. It's sick shit.

What It Means: That there's always a new evil to replace an old one. Despite the Renault family being more or less decimated across the first two seasons, more sprouted in their place to keep the family business trucking along. The same darkness that consumed Laura Palmer 25 years ago is still at work here, consuming more and more young girls with every passing year.

Who's Onstage: No one, but Booker T. & the M.G.'s plays on the jukebox.

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Part 9

What Happens: Two women, Chloe (Karolina Wydra) and Ella (Sky Ferreira) share a beer and giggle about what we're assuming is drugs in a coded language. They both look drugged-out, especially Ella with her rotten teeth and horrible complexion. Ella laments losing her job serving burgers for coming into work high, but then says she got another job across the street serving burgers. Ella also has a disgusting rash that she can't stop scratching.

What It Means: It's easy to imagine these pair of girls as former prostitutes that aged out of the Renault's operation; now, they have nothing to do but serve burgers, do drugs, and giggle about the local drug trends. It's a vision of how the town's darkness is creating a generation of wasted potential and bodies that are more or less disintegrating before our very eyes. Ella's rash, which Lynch emphasizes by dialing up the sound of her itching, could very well be a harbinger of the zombie-like behavior exhibited by locals in future episodes.

The coded language is also relevant. You know that zebra's out again? Chloe asks. Later, Ella asks Chloe, Have you seen that penguin? Both animals are black and white, a detail that many online have associated with the Black and White Lodges. Whether or not that's the intent, it certainly shows that Red's supply is running rampant.

Some have also pointed out that Ella's rash is on her left side, the side that tends to go numb for characters connecting with the Lodge. It's also the same arm that MIKE cut off. Make of that what you will.

Who's Onstage: Hudson Mohawke, playing Human

Later, Au Revoir Simone returns to play A Violent Yet Flammable World

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Part 12

What Happens: Abbie (Elizabeth Anweis) and Natalie (Ana de la Reguera) gossip about some mutual acquaintances. Angela and Clark are a thing, Natalie says, but Abbie saw Clark and Mary making out at the Roadhouse two nights previous. Natalie mentions that Angela is off her meds and has recently lost her mom in a way that's driving her crazy.

Soon, an older dude named Trick (Scott Coffey) shows up, saying he was run off the road and almost killed. After he goes to get a beer, Natalie says he's no longer under house arrest, which causes Abbie to express romantic interest in him.

What It Means: This is one that we'd probably be wise not to overthink, as to do so will only lead you into dead end after dead end. None of the characters they discuss are mentioned elsewhere, nor do they hint towards any larger mystery in the Twin Peaks universe. Obviously, there's a touch of menace in the fate of Angela's mother, but the description is so vague that it's difficult to summon any kind of specific instance.

Now, to overthink it: This conversation occurs during the same episode as Audrey Horne's (Sherilyn Fenn) first appearance, during which she's concerned about her own lover, Billy. Audrey says a woman named Tina was the last person to see him. Later, we find out Tina was also having an affair with Billy, despite being married. This makes the situation a love triangle in much the same manner as the Angela/Mary/Clark situation. That Angela is off her meds could also have resonance here, what with Audrey acting like someone who very well could be on meds. Here's where the theories of the Roadhouse characters being extensions of Audrey's own mind have a bit of credence-are they somehow directly linked with Audrey's mind, or do they exist simply to accent Audrey's narrative arc?

Fuck if I know.

Who's Onstage: Chromatics, playing Saturday

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Part 13

What Happens: James sings Twin Peaks camp classic You and I to a rapt audience that includes Renee. By song's end, she's in tears. Sparks, baby; they're flying.

What It Means: No matter what happens to James, the dude remains a stone-cold romantic. Also, Renee is way, way into him.

Who's Onstage: James Hurley, playing You and I

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Part 14

What Happens: Sophie (Emily Stofle) accuses Megan (Shane Lynch) of getting high at the nuthouse. Megan says she's been getting high in her own room and also reveals she stole her sweater from someone named Paula. Here, we find out that Megan was with her mom the last time she saw Billy. She says Billy jumped a six-foot fence and ran into their house with blood pouring from his mouth.

Sophie asks what Megan's mom's name is and, after a long pause, Megan says it's Tina. This revelation is met with some ominous music, though it's unclear why. Megan says Tina had a thing with Billy. She also can't remember if her uncle was there or not.

What It Means: When I first watched this scene I was struck by Megan's repetition of how she wasn't sure if her uncle was present during Billy's arrival. That uncertainty, coupled with the scene's languid pace and freaky music, gives the whole thing a dreamlike feel, as if we're unmoored from reality. In many ways, the scene is the closest thing this season of Twin Peaks has to Mulholland Drive's terrifyingly iconic diner scene.

This description of Billy having blood pouring from his mouth has caused many to believe that he's the drunk in the Twin Peaks Police Station's holding cell. That man, if you recall, evokes the dying girl Bobby sees in the honking woman's car, as both are similarly bloody.

More connections to Audrey's story can be found here as well, though the most interesting theory I've seen online regarding this scene concerns the nuthouse. In Part 10, a song plays beneath Richard's assault of his mother and brother; one Reddit user pointed out that it's Charmaine, which is off the soundtrack to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, probably the quintessential nuthouse film. That's a pretty deliberate choice and this revelation has been used to float the theory that Audrey's mother's house is the nuthouse, as it contains both the mentally disabled Johnny Horne and Audrey, who in this theory is suffering her own mental disorder. Could this again point to Tina and Audrey being the same person? If so, that would make Megan Audrey's daughter and Richard's brother. Curious stuff.

Who's Onstage: Lissie, playing Wild West

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Part 15

What Happens: We've got two in this episode. The first finds James and Freddie saying hi to Renee, who sits with her husband Chuck (Rod Rowland), as well as Skipper (Casey O'Neill) and an unknown brunette woman. James stupidly replies to Chuck's anger by saying he likes Renee (god, what a dolt) and getting slugged in the face for it. In James' defense, Freddie uses his magic green glove to lightly bop both men; in keeping with his description of the glove's powers, though, that pop pretty much scrambles their brains. James apologizes to Renee, saying that Chuck's eyes don't look right.

What It Means: Really, the scene just serves as proof that Freddie's bizarre story about his magic glove is actually true. On a deeper level, however, it serves as a further testament to Twin Peaks' culture of violence overflowing that much more. Sure, James is dumb to say hi to Renee when she's out with her husband, but Chuck's anger is volcanic and his leap to violence is almost instantaneous.

Also, more love triangles. And, if Audrey's Charlie is to be believed, Chuck is also the name of Tina's husband, who she describes as insane. Also, Charlie and Chuck are the same name. Also, the name of the actor who plays Charlie is Clark Middleton. There was a Clark mixed up in here somewhere. Lynch is just trolling us isn't he?

What Happens: At the end of the episode, Ruby (Charlene Yi) is forcibly removed from a booth by two huge bikers, who throw her to the ground. Ruby sits on the ground for a moment before crawling into a sea of legs. Slowly, the formation of legs increases around her until she's totally trapped. Then, she screams.

What It Means: Twin Peaks is not a safe place. It's a downright dangerous one for women. What we see with her is Laura Palmer, Ronette Pulaski, and various others in microcosm: After being displaced by men, the woman crawls for safety into the darkness only to find something much, much worse hiding there. Yi's scream here reminded me of Laura's in the Black Lodge. Truly chilling.

Who's Onstage: The Veils, playing axolotl

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Part 16

What Happens: Audrey and Charlie arrive at the Roadhouse. Charlie orders martinis. Audrey looks uncomfortable. Eddie Vedder finishes his song. Charlie proposes a toast to us, to which Audrey replies, to Billy. Then, the MC announces, Ladies and gentlemen, Audrey's Dance. The band plays her song from the original series. The dance floor clears for her. Audrey is hesitant. And what unfolds is a stranger, more elaborate version of the dance that once beguiled America. Everything's kinda perfect until another burst of violence shatters the illusion; it's more infidelity, a fight between a cuckold and an adulterer. Audrey runs to Charlie and tells him it's time to leave. That's when she snaps awake in a white room, staring in a mirror, muttering what over and over again.

What It Means: We'll find out next week, but the fact that the jazz band bega