#(but not all bigender people are genderfluid)

[genderqueerdykes]

Is it weird that I get bothered by people insisting that I'm nonbinary? I'm bigender, man and woman specifically, and while I have minus issues with other people identifying with the nonbinary label, I get extremely uncomfortable when others try to insist that I am part of it.

Like... maybe I would be technically, by definition. But I have never felt like I'm outside the binary, but rather that I encapsulate the entirety of it to extremes that the cishetero binary very clearly does NOT approve of. My presentation is extravagant and over the top no matter how I do it, and because they don't adher to what a man or woman should look like by cishetero norms, people consistently seem to interpret this as me not having a gender? As if I'm deliberately going out of my way to be subvertive, when really I just do whatever I like, which just happens to be being flashy and all over the place depending on my mood.

I feel a bit bad, because I know that for some people all these things are related to them not being nonbinary! But the assumptions that I feel the same without my input frustrates me, it feels as if my gender is worth less to people because they're "just" man and woman and therefore stereotypical. Everytime I assert that I am not comfortable by being called they/them I am apparently overreacting because they're not gendered pronouns.

I don't feel like I'm making sense, it just feels so bad because most of my loved ones are nonbinary and I am always there to defend them and their right to express who they are, yet at the same time it's like a few of them only support for me for as long as I don't point out that our struggles don't become less similar and intertwined just because I don't like having labels applied to me against my wishes.

that's not weird! nobody likes being called something they're not

just because someone has multiple genders does not make that person or their genders non binary. especially if you feel your manhood and womanhood fit within the bounds of binary manhood and womanhood. there's nothing wrong with that, that's still an expression of bigenderism!

i think it's rude for people to assume that you're nonbinary because your gender isn't "just male or female". there are agender, genderqueer and genderfluid people who don't consider themselves non binary. it's okay if you don't, too, and don't want to be referred to by a term you don't use

good luck, i know stuff like that isn't easy. it's unnecessarily difficult to get people to refer to us properly- people love to make assumptions and run with them. it's disrespectful. take care of yourself

[lolliepops-rox]

This is my petition for people who create pins/stickers/other things with "she/they" & "he/they" to also include "she/he". I'm kind of sick of being excluded, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same.

[liulith]

Cis man Vox is great, trans man Vox is great, trans woman Vox is great... But hear me out: bigender Vox.

As a human, Vee sees herself as an ambitious cis woman in a rich men's world and weaponizes femininity to her advantage while cursing the glass ceiling. She loves being a woman as much as she hates it and often wishes she was born male, fantasizes about how her life would be if she was a man, stares at men's clothes with longing... (🥚)

As a demon, he is reborn in a body that makes it easy to pass as a man: he can use a binder and change a few settings to make his voice deeper. He tells himself that "playing pretend" is simply the logical thing to do to protect himself and ascend to power (nevermind that there are several female Overlords. Yep, he's in denial)

Over the years, he slowly comes to terms with the fact that he enjoys being perceived as masculine in a way that has nothing to do with social status. Vox the businessman isn't just a persona, it's an actually identity that brings him joy and makes him feel good about himself.

He finally figured it out! He was a trans man all along! He decides to fully transition, and it feels great, for a while. Gender euphoria, baby.

And yet... As much as he loves being a man, some days, he misses being called a lady and wearing dresses. Isn't that just ironic? Suddenly, the longing is back. He feels just like he used to when he was human, only this time the genders are reversed.

He starts second-guessing himself, frustrated and anxious, and his internalized misogyny and old-timey perception of gender roles are NOT helping him process the situation at all. He starts overperforming masculinity to try and compensate for his doubts. Was he just faking masculinity so well that he fell for his own lie?? That can't be true. He loves being a man. He just... she, she just wishes she could sometimes be perceived as a woman, too. (and no, he can't settle for something in the middle or outside of the binary: it has to be one extreme or the other, like a binary signal of 0 or 1)

Thankfully for Vee, she's got an incredible adaptable biomechanical body. Once she finally figures out that she can be a woman one day and a man the next (because she can do whatever she wants, forever), and that her fem gender expression doesn't invalidate his masculinity in any way, she gets SO MANY upgrades <3

tl;dr: "cis" woman with strong gender envy and internalized misogyny -> "cis" demon "pretending" to be a man -> gender crisis -> transgender man?? -> wait a second -> gender crisis #2 -> bigender Vox <3

Also I think it's a fun parallel with Alastor, who is agender in my heart

It also works pretty well, thematically speaking: Vox as a symbol of change, constantly switching performances (+ binary signal jokes)

[bsideheart]

if you want people to stop associating "fagdyke" with transmisogyny, people who call themselves fagdyke will have to stop being transmisogynists all the fucking time. balls in their court

hey i don’t know how to explain to you that generalizing any group of queer people is bad

[aromacaque]

queer discourse i hate you. do whatever you forever i literally do not care what labels people use i cannot imagine caring that much about what arbitrary words people use to describe themselves. gender doesn't make sense because it's a social construct so if you want to not be transphobic you have to completely omit enforcing gender entirely when it comes to labels. nobody is forcing you to date people you're not attracted to so if someone who identifies as a lesbian isn't your type you can still exist peacefully with them you ignorant conservative fucks

[idledreams4]

I know I'm spending too much time on Tumblr cause y'all just call me Harlenn

I just got caught off guard when someone who I know keeps calling my by my dead name did exactly that.

I'm so used to hearing the name I want to that I got blindsided and also it's making me re-evaluate my friend choices...

[siobhanromee]

found a way to describe my gender to cis people!

[shopcat]

i am the only one who even cares like as in about whatever it is i'm talking about IM SICK LET ME BE SICK anyway... basically everybody difference i'll put the sick stream of consciousness in the tags this time

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

tfw a thing about your gender, and the seemingly unfitting terminology you've always felt most comfortable with, FINALLY clicks and you feel like you just discovered a fuckin prophecy twist

[moreover-clover]

Tag yourself! I'm somewhere between F1 and F2!!

!!!EDIT!!! Plz read before sending hate:

Look, I genuinely get that this graph doesn't have every gender on it. I know that it is labeled weird, I know that female & male and nonbinary/genderqueer & agender are on opposite sides of the chart. I know that this isn't inclusive to xenogenders, bigender, genderfluid, and a bunch of other genders. I know that people are upset about male being blue and female being pink. I know this graph is not inclusive for every gender out there. I really really do. I never claimed that it had all genders. Hell, I didn't even say it was a great graph! This photo is a screenshot of someone's random Twitter post that I found on pinterest and thought was neat. It was my first time seeing a gender graph that was something more besides male and female and it made me excited. I just wanted to share it with others. If it doesn't fit you, just say so. If your gender isn't on there, just say so. If you want to say how it could be improved or critique it's flaws, then by all means please do so! I have enjoyed scrolling through and seeing all the reblogs and people educating me and sharing better graphs. I love the discussions! I love the battleship and bingo jokes/games that have started. But I would really really appreciate if people would stop sending hate and shaming me for a graph I didn't even create. I am really really sorry for anyone I offended or hurt, it was NOT my intention. That is never my intention. I genuinely didn't think this post would even get more than like 5 likes, I was just sharing something that I thought was neat....

[avenin]

Hey genderfluid people, how do you deal with your gender switching or being less easy to define?

And not "deal with" as in it's like wrong but more the internalized shame of it. Or how it can feel like experiencing one side of the binary over another can detract from your identity.

and also does your interactions with sex or porn or sexuality change how you feel about your own gender? How do you feel about those things? Do you like it or not?

[genderqueerdykes]

happy pride to every male & masc queer who feels alienated from the community during pride month. many places are taking to create "she+" and "femme & them" type events that conflate non binary identities with womanhood without creating similar spaces and events for mascs & men, leaving many trans men and mascs to feel totally alienated because their is no designated day or space for them to celebrate. while it's great to celebrate femininity & womanhood, we should be celebrating queer manhood and masculinity alongside it. it's important to have groups and events for all members of our community

if you feel alienated because you don't fit into these spaces, happy pride to you. happy pride to the butches and lesboys who don't feel safe going to lesbian events because of this. happy pride to trans mascs & men who don't have a space to go or a day to celebrate themselves. happy pride to non binary queers, genderqueer people and gnc people who are not feminine or female and have nowhere to go. happy pride to masculine and male intersex people who can't exist in the spaces they want to.

happy pride to cis masc and male queers who feel completely estranged from the community. happy pride to trans girls who are also men who cannot express their manhood at the risk of people using it as a weapon to misgender you. happy pride to the bigender and multigender people who are have to prioritize their feminine or female identities in order to make other people "feel safe." happy pride to the genderfluid people who don't get to talk about their masculinity or manhood. happy pride to the masc gays who feel alienated

we deserve to celebrate ourselves as well. take care of yourself this pride month

[2700k-moogie]

Here's the first part of the comic i've been working on and off on over the past 3 weeks. It's about half done, and i'm hoping to draw the last 5 pages of the script as part 2.

The character in the passenger seat is pending high school senior Lissa "Lissy" Lisko (she/her), and the driver and boyfriend is recent graduate Thomas "Tums" Schlatt (he/she).

Content warning for emotional abuse and allusions to self harm.

[neverendingford]

.

[azuremist]

TME and TMA as intersexist terms: as written by an intersex transfem

I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.

Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?

But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.

Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.

Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.

This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.

What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.

And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.

If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.

The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)

You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.

This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.

Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.

So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!

[foone]

So I've just invented the Kinsey* Genitals Scale. It's not about what genitals you're attracted to, it's about which ones you'd prefer to have, assuming changing them took less than 5 minutes and wasn't really a hassle at all.

This is primarily intended for trans (and especially non-binary/bigender/genderfluid) people, but cis people can answer as well. Ain't no reason you can't be a cis guy with a vagina or a cis girl with a penis. I don't'nt judge.

* It's not actually a Kinsey scale because that one was made by Alfie Kinsey, and this one is not. But we always call these things Kinsey scales. It's really a Turing Scale, ya'know?