#(but not all bigender people are genderfluid)

[vaspider]

Skipping past the actual point of what I was saying and just defining misogyny back to me in the exact way I just said is profoundly unhelpful is also not particularly helpful. Not only do the people saying "men don't experience misogyny" not think that misandry can ever be real - and in fact the post I was referencing makes the point that men don't experience misogyny on the way to saying that men aren't ever oppressed for anything about their gender - so this redefinition plays directly into that, the entire central point of what I just said is that these experiences are not meaningfully unique, that is:

There is no flawlessly singular experience of oppression experienced only by women, experienced the same way by all women, and never endured by men.

Defining an experience of gender-based abuse or oppression based on the gender of the victim and not the animus expressed by the abuser ends up requiring extreme and extremely unhelpful gymnastics to maintain those definitions. And that's assuming that people only come in "strictly cis man" and "just cis woman." The entire idea that you must define things separately and strictly profoundly falls apart in the face of trans people, especially gender-non-conforming, non-binary, genderfluid, and multigender people. Am I experiencing a new, third thing when I'm treated badly for my presumed status as or failure at womanhood as a non-binary person? Is a genderfluid person experiencing misogyny or misandry only on differing days? Does a bigender person experience both all the time?

Pretty clearly, that isn't the case.

And that's part of my point. Defining things based on the gender of the person results in splitting people apart into tinier and tinier groups who can't possibly meaningfully fight against the people hurting us, and that's the way the forces in charge want us.

tl;dr - I know that definition & it's one of the ones I'm saying is unhelpful.

I've been thinking about the one post that had some weirdo TIRF on it talking about how "men 👏 don't 👏 experience 👏 misogyny" and everybody just kind of skipped to talking about how ofc trans men experience misogyny but like

We can't just skip how fucking asinine that sentence is on its face. That is not ground that should be conceded, bc trying to state as if it's a plain fact that "men don't experience misogyny" should get you laughed out of any room you're in.

Every time a boy is told he "throws like a girl" or is called a "little baby girl" for crying, he's experiencing misogyny because he's being devalued for traits that others see as feminine, traits which those doing the mocking see as belonging to women. Every time a fat dude's "moobs" get mocked, he's experiencing misogyny. Every time a girl makes fun of a dude for enjoying something she perceives as feminine, he's experiencing a double whammy of misogyny and homophobia.

There is no other reasonable way to discuss what these men are experiencing. That's misogyny.

The longer I talk with people in all kinds of marginalized groups online, the more convinced I am both that it's very understandable that people want their experiences and their hurts and their oppressions to be totally unique and unable to be experienced by anybody who isn't part of their group and also that anybody who hammers away on the idea that "only [X] can experience [Y]" and devotes excessive time to guarding the borders of their little fiefdom is not just not helping the cause of liberation, but is actively degrading our chances of making meaningful change.

I would go so far as to say there probably isn't a man alive who has zero experience of misogyny. Misogyny is leveraged against men constantly as a form of social control. Just because it's "do X or we will devalue you by calling you a woman" doesn't make it not an experience of misogyny.

Is it exactly the same thing that women experience? No, but also what different groups of women and different individuals experience is also different. There is no flawlessly singular experience of oppression experienced only by women, experienced the same way by all women, and never endured by men.

With that very simple fact in mind, spending time endlessly trying to police the way that another marginalized individual speaks about the method and effect of their own oppression rather than finding solidarity and commonality is fucking fed shit. It does not serve us and actively sabotages all of us, serving only those who actively benefit from our subservience and our infighting.

So fucking stop it.

[lolliepops-rox]

This is my petition for people who create pins/stickers/other things with "she/they" & "he/they" to also include "she/he". I'm kind of sick of being excluded, and I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same.

[liulith]

Cis man Vox is great, trans man Vox is great, trans woman Vox is great... But hear me out: bigender Vox.

As a human, Vee sees herself as an ambitious cis woman in a rich men's world and weaponizes femininity to her advantage while cursing the glass ceiling. She loves being a woman as much as she hates it and often wishes she was born male, fantasizes about how her life would be if she was a man, stares at men's clothes with longing... (🥚)

As a demon, he is reborn in a body that makes it easy to pass as a man: he can use a binder and change a few settings to make his voice deeper. He tells himself that "playing pretend" is simply the logical thing to do to protect himself and ascend to power (nevermind that there are several female Overlords. Yep, he's in denial)

Over the years, he slowly comes to terms with the fact that he enjoys being perceived as masculine in a way that has nothing to do with social status. Vox the businessman isn't just a persona, it's an actually identity that brings him joy and makes him feel good about himself.

He finally figured it out! He was a trans man all along! He decides to fully transition, and it feels great, for a while. Gender euphoria, baby.

And yet... As much as he loves being a man, some days, he misses being called a lady and wearing dresses. Isn't that just ironic? Suddenly, the longing is back. He feels just like he used to when he was human, only this time the genders are reversed.

He starts second-guessing himself, frustrated and anxious, and his internalized misogyny and old-timey perception of gender roles are NOT helping him process the situation at all. He starts overperforming masculinity to try and compensate for his doubts. Was he just faking masculinity so well that he fell for his own lie?? That can't be true. He loves being a man. He just... she, she just wishes she could sometimes be perceived as a woman, too. (and no, he can't settle for something in the middle or outside of the binary: it has to be one extreme or the other, like a binary signal of 0 or 1)

Thankfully for Vee, she's got an incredible adaptable biomechanical body. Once she finally figures out that she can be a woman one day and a man the next (because she can do whatever she wants, forever), and that her fem gender expression doesn't invalidate his masculinity in any way, she gets SO MANY upgrades <3

tl;dr: "cis" woman with strong gender envy and internalized misogyny -> "cis" demon "pretending" to be a man -> gender crisis -> transgender man?? -> wait a second -> gender crisis #2 -> bigender Vox <3

Also I think it's a fun parallel with Alastor, who is agender in my heart

It also works pretty well, thematically speaking: Vox as a symbol of change, constantly switching performances (+ binary signal jokes)

[bsideheart]

if you want people to stop associating "fagdyke" with transmisogyny, people who call themselves fagdyke will have to stop being transmisogynists all the fucking time. balls in their court

hey i don’t know how to explain to you that generalizing any group of queer people is bad

[aromacaque]

queer discourse i hate you. do whatever you forever i literally do not care what labels people use i cannot imagine caring that much about what arbitrary words people use to describe themselves. gender doesn't make sense because it's a social construct so if you want to not be transphobic you have to completely omit enforcing gender entirely when it comes to labels. nobody is forcing you to date people you're not attracted to so if someone who identifies as a lesbian isn't your type you can still exist peacefully with them you ignorant conservative fucks

[idledreams4]

I know I'm spending too much time on Tumblr cause y'all just call me Harlenn

I just got caught off guard when someone who I know keeps calling my by my dead name did exactly that.

I'm so used to hearing the name I want to that I got blindsided and also it's making me re-evaluate my friend choices...

[siobhanromee]

found a way to describe my gender to cis people!

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

tfw a thing about your gender, and the seemingly unfitting terminology you've always felt most comfortable with, FINALLY clicks and you feel like you just discovered a fuckin prophecy twist

[moreover-clover]

Tag yourself! I'm somewhere between F1 and F2!!

!!!EDIT!!! Plz read before sending hate:

Look, I genuinely get that this graph doesn't have every gender on it. I know that it is labeled weird, I know that female & male and nonbinary/genderqueer & agender are on opposite sides of the chart. I know that this isn't inclusive to xenogenders, bigender, genderfluid, and a bunch of other genders. I know that people are upset about male being blue and female being pink. I know this graph is not inclusive for every gender out there. I really really do. I never claimed that it had all genders. Hell, I didn't even say it was a great graph! This photo is a screenshot of someone's random Twitter post that I found on pinterest and thought was neat. It was my first time seeing a gender graph that was something more besides male and female and it made me excited. I just wanted to share it with others. If it doesn't fit you, just say so. If your gender isn't on there, just say so. If you want to say how it could be improved or critique it's flaws, then by all means please do so! I have enjoyed scrolling through and seeing all the reblogs and people educating me and sharing better graphs. I love the discussions! I love the battleship and bingo jokes/games that have started. But I would really really appreciate if people would stop sending hate and shaming me for a graph I didn't even create. I am really really sorry for anyone I offended or hurt, it was NOT my intention. That is never my intention. I genuinely didn't think this post would even get more than like 5 likes, I was just sharing something that I thought was neat....

[neverendingford]

.

[lassieisafag]

If you hate men you're not welcome on my blog, btw.

getting real fucking sick of this

[avenin]

Hey genderfluid people, how do you deal with your gender switching or being less easy to define?

And not "deal with" as in it's like wrong but more the internalized shame of it. Or how it can feel like experiencing one side of the binary over another can detract from your identity.

and also does your interactions with sex or porn or sexuality change how you feel about your own gender? How do you feel about those things? Do you like it or not?

[genderqueerdykes]

happy pride to every male & masc queer who feels alienated from the community during pride month. many places are taking to create "she+" and "femme & them" type events that conflate non binary identities with womanhood without creating similar spaces and events for mascs & men, leaving many trans men and mascs to feel totally alienated because their is no designated day or space for them to celebrate. while it's great to celebrate femininity & womanhood, we should be celebrating queer manhood and masculinity alongside it. it's important to have groups and events for all members of our community

if you feel alienated because you don't fit into these spaces, happy pride to you. happy pride to the butches and lesboys who don't feel safe going to lesbian events because of this. happy pride to trans mascs & men who don't have a space to go or a day to celebrate themselves. happy pride to non binary queers, genderqueer people and gnc people who are not feminine or female and have nowhere to go. happy pride to masculine and male intersex people who can't exist in the spaces they want to.

happy pride to cis masc and male queers who feel completely estranged from the community. happy pride to trans girls who are also men who cannot express their manhood at the risk of people using it as a weapon to misgender you. happy pride to the bigender and multigender people who are have to prioritize their feminine or female identities in order to make other people "feel safe." happy pride to the genderfluid people who don't get to talk about their masculinity or manhood. happy pride to the masc gays who feel alienated

we deserve to celebrate ourselves as well. take care of yourself this pride month

[2700k-moogie]

Here's the first part of the comic i've been working on and off on over the past 3 weeks. It's about half done, and i'm hoping to draw the last 5 pages of the script as part 2.

The character in the passenger seat is pending high school senior Lissa "Lissy" Lisko (she/her), and the driver and boyfriend is recent graduate Thomas "Tums" Schlatt (he/she).

Content warning for emotional abuse and allusions to self harm.

[azuremist]

TME and TMA as intersexist terms: as written by an intersex transfem

I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.

Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?

But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.

Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.

Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.

This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.

What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.

And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.

If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.

The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)

You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.

This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.

Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.

So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!

[k-is-for-potassium]

i feel like many people use "straight"...wrong

it's used a lot to mean cis, het, allo, perisex, etc.

basically just not lgbtq+ at all

but that's not true

trans people can be straight and lgbtq+

intersex people can be straight and lgbtq+

neopronoun users can be straight and lgbtq+

arospec people can be straight and lgbtq+

acespec people can be straight and lgbtq+

polyamorous people can be straight and lgbtq+

genderfluid, bigender, and other gender non-conforming people can be straight and lgbtq+

people who are biromantic, panromantic, etc. and heterosexual or vice versa are still lgbtq+

and there are so many more identities that can absolutely be both

straight does not mean not lgbtq+