#i literally ALMOST went on a rant about this the other day. but backspaced it all when i was done

[lassieisafag]

If you hate men you're not welcome on my blog, btw.

getting real fucking sick of this

[kilyra]

Spoilsport

A/N: Huntress is so kick ass, awkward, and sweet. I kind of took a lot of cues from the few lines she had *(VAGUE SPOILER) with the kid when she was trying to shield her from the violence.* It was a touching moment where she actually wasn’t awkward, so I kind of think that if she were in a relationship and got comfortable enough, the awkward wouldn’t be so prevalent. Hopefully it feels in character!

After spending hours getting angry at your idiot boss, Helena tries to step in and help.

Warnings: Bad language. Obscene amounts of fluff. No spoilers though. And I don’t call her Huntress at all, so just a heads up.

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know! And I know the gif isn’t from Birds of Prey but it’s so perfectly casual Helena!

Staring at the words on your laptop screen became all-consuming. Never mind the fact it was a beautiful day outside. Or that the sweet scent of fresh-cut fruit floated through your apartment. Or especially the fact that you weren't alone.

Not even the fearsome Helena Bertinelli could pull your focus.

The only thing that mattered was the heated back and forth you were having with your boss over chat as he tried to lay the newest hiccups on the project at your feet. All while you were trying to work on the latest round of edits, of course.

When the dreaded ping sang out from your speaker, you were already bracing yourself as you flipped back over to the chat. But no amount of bracing could help. “That's not the point you mother fu...”

Hearing a shuffle from the other room, you looked up to the mirror hanging on the wall across from you. In it, you could see Helena comfortably settled into the couch behind you, with one leg casually propped up on the coffee table. Although she appeared to be engrossed in something on her tablet, you noticed the subtle shift in her eyes as she shot a side-glance in your direction.

Had she been watching you the whole time or only after you destroyed the peace in the apartment? It was hard to tell with her...

Gritting against your outrage, you dropped your gaze and glared at the screen with the fury of a thousand suns as your hands clenched into tightly wound balls of anger. It took a moment to realize you weren't just biting back the rest of your bitter words, you were completely holding your breath.

“Sorry,” you muttered in a long sigh.

Forcing your hands to flex, you took a deep inhale through your nose and leaned against the back of your chair. Before you could follow up with anything, a small bowl of fruit was set on beside your laptop.

Flinching, you stopped short of jumping in your chair. Was she being stealthy, or were you that focused?

Standing over you, Helena shot you a pointed look as she pushed the bowl even closer. Your anger shrank back into a small corner of your chest as she frowned at you. The fruit started out in the middle of the table, but she clearly noticed you hadn't reached for it once.

Eat was the silent message before she disappeared back into the other room.

A faint smile grew over your lips.

Ping.

Quickly busting free, your anger ripped the smile to shreds as you sighed and leaned forward to reply. Each keystroke sounded like the crashing of little hammers of justice as you righteously...and as politely as you could...tried to explain to your boss why he was an idiot. Each time you had to backspace to try wording it nicer, the key smash was bordering violent.

There was a lot of backspacing. And a very real chance you would lose your job by the end of this project.

You thought it was mere moments from when the fruit was set beside you, but when you saw Helena reaching in the still-full bowl, your eyes darted to the clock on your screen. It had been almost twenty minutes.

Popping a grape in her mouth, her eyes found yours as she leaned against her hip beside you. Chewing thoughtfully, her eyebrow lifted as she nodded at your laptop. “Keep that up and I'll have to get you a new one.”

“I don't get it. This jackass literally signed off on the draft. I ran everything, and I mean everything by him, but now that the client is making noise, he's suddenly acting like he's caught off guard? He's fully throwing me under the bus when I was only doing what he told me to!” As you ranted, your glare dropped back down to the screen, mentally daring him to say something more. The chat didn't move.

“Yeah, that sucks,” she agreed as she pushed off from the table.

Grunting, you hunched forward, no longer concerned with continuing your project, and just waited for your boss to reply.

“You know...” She started and paused as though she were waiting for your full attention. You raised your eyebrows as you stared a hole in your screen. Despite that, she continued. “You could just quit and look for something better, with a boss that doesn't treat you like shit.”

“Right. Because rent just pays itself.”

Her soft chuckle wasn't enough to tear you from the screen. “Well, I mean I'd make sure you were fine. You know that, right?”

Humming a vaguely agreeable noise, you flipped from the chat over to your project. That was a huge offer, and you were already too flustered to think. Not giving a real answer, you gave your edits another look over.

Ping.

Your fingers flew as you clicked back over to the chat. Colour pulsated at the edge of your vision before you even finished his whole message. “Oh, my fucking fuck...I....are you serious?!?”

Pressing your fingers to your temple, you tried to will your surging headache to recede. It didn't work.

Her sigh sounded distant. "Alright fine. How about I just take this guy out instead? You'll still have your job and you won't have to deal with him anymore. Win-win?"

It took a moment for her words to sink in, but after a significant delay, your head finally bobbed back. “Wait, what?”

The screen of your laptop closed slightly, revealing Helena's dark gaze and mischievous smirk. Sitting on the table, her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head. “I'm like ninety-nine percent sure you heard me.”

Biting your lip, it was all you could do to hold back a grin. On some level, you had to question if the smile came from her trying to be helpful or from the idea of your boss being pinned to his stupid, oversized leather office chair with a crossbow arrow through his neck.

Finally, after way too long of a pause, shook your head. “Thanks, but...”

Sliding the laptop out of the way, she smoothly leaned forward and swung her legs behind her, stretching across the table. Reaching her fingers to the edge, she pulled herself closer before resting on her elbows. Her hands came to rest near yours, stopping short of grabbing them. “If it makes you feel better, I could dig up some dirt on him first?”

“Right. My boss might be a clueless asshole, but he’s not a bad guy and you only take out bad guys.” There was a cautious laugh laced in your tone. 

Looking at you with almost patronizing adoration, she scoffed. “You really don’t know this city, huh? I bet I won’t even have to dig that hard.”

Her eyes darted down to your lips as she leaned closer, her height adding to her impossible reach. Leaving very little space. Your pulse started to race as the scent of lavender and faint leather twined around you, drawing you in.

“And besides, anyone who gets you this upset is already a bad guy in my books.”

Your eyes fluttered closed as her mouth softly found yours, the sweet taste of grapes still on her lips. As her hand cupped the side of your face, you gave in fully, letting out a quiet moan. Reaching back, her fingers lightly clenched in your hair while her free hand interlaced your fingers.

Suddenly, work was the last thing on your mind.

Leaning into the kiss, your tongue eagerly met hers as your grasp tightened around her hand. Your heart hammered so hard it was dizzying and yet, you only wanted more. As the kiss grew deeper, she let out a soft growl, and your thighs squeezed. You were putty in her hands.

A ping went off beside you, but for once, you didn't care.

Pulling away, her eyes scanned over your face as she brushed the tips of her fingers along your cheek. Her expression softened, but she stayed wordless, letting you take the lead for now.

Chewing your bottom lip, you returned her curious gaze before you spoke in a slightly raspy tone. “But...to be clear...please don't kill my boss, okay?”

Letting out a sudden, sharp laugh, she glanced down and back up at you. She pursed her lips tightly but couldn't stop her eyes from smiling, even as she rolled them at you. "Well you’re no fun."

“I'm serious, Hel.”

Sighing, she leaned forward, planting a kiss on the end of your nose as you instinctively crinkled it. “Fine...spoilsport.”

Taglist:  @foreverfaeries​  @flower-two​  @getlostinyourparadise​   @selfishkiddo​  @angelicshinigami​  @parkersbabey​ (And also @thetenthdoctorscompanion @dreamers-wonderland​ - you two didn’t ask to be tagged but you were so supportive on my Crossbow Killer post I figured I’d spam it at you just this once haha)

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

Working in tech support has given me a new found hatred of Baby Boomers

Long post.

Okay so, I work for lawyers, many of whom are boomers. And while as a whole I don’t have a huge problem with either group, sometimes the combination are just... fucking disastrous.

Take for example the call I just got off of a few minutes ago. Guy calls in because when he’s typing in his password, backspace is registering as a character.

Only, it took me a few minutes to get that out of him, because when he called, the conversion went kinda like this:

Me: *generic greeting* What can I help you with? Guy: I can’t log into my computer Me: *waits a moment, realizes he’s not going to say more than that* Me: Okay. What’s happening when you try and log in? Guy: *presumably hits something on the keyboard, I don’t know because I’m not there* That’s what happens Me: Okay. I’m not on your screen right now (we can remote in with users once they’re logged in, many boomers seem to think that as soon as they call in we’re immediately on their computers) so I can’t see what you’re seeing. What’s happening? Guy: *literally does the exact same thing, hits something on the keyboard, and angrily says* THAT’S what’s happening Me: *repeats myself* Guy: It’s just *he’s typing or something I guess, sounds like he’s just bamming on the keyboard at this point* It’s doing... that Me: *internally screaming* Guy: (FUCKING FINALLY) When I hit backspace, I get a dot Me: Oh. Okay. So instead of deleting it’s acting like you’re typing a letter? Guy: Yeah. Me: Okay. This can be caused by a few different things

Now. There’s no standard required ‘set up’ for the computers at the firm. People have different model laptops, desktop, docking stations, some have external keyboards (both wired and wireless), all sorts of other equipment, etc, and we have NO info on who has what

Me: Are you on a laptop in a docking station, or on a desktop? Guy: Laptop in a docking station.

So, idk why, but with our docking stations, if the wifi is on while the laptop is in it, it tends to cause all sorts of issues. So, I wanted him to reboot to make sure his keyboard is connected and the issue isn’t that his computer has been on for like 6 months (true story happens all the fucking time).

Me: Okay. Can you make sure your wifi is switched off, and then reboot your laptop? I just want to make sure it’s connecting properly. Guy: *angrily* I don’t know what you mean about wifi.

Which, is an annoyingly common occurrence. Without fail almost every boomer I talk to has no grasp of what wifi is, or anything involving the physical laptop itself. NBD, there’s only 2 ways it can manually be turned off and on on the laptops we use

Me: That’s fine. Depending on which  model laptop you have, there is either a physical switch you can toggle off and on on the side of the laptop itself, or one of the F/Function keys on the laptops keyboard will have a wifi/cell signal icon on it.

Guy: *getting more angry, now talking to me like I’m the stupid one* I can’t into the computer, what do you mean get to the function keys? How am I supposed to get to the function keys?? Me: Can you lift the laptop lid up and see the laptop’s keyboard? Guy: *like I’m saying the dumbest thing ever* Uh. Yeah. Me: *SCREAMING INTERNALLY* Okay, lift the laptop lid up and look at the F keys along the top of the keyboard. You don’t need to log in in order to do this. Guy: *literally shouting at this point* I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

If you’ve ever worked in customer service, you may have heard the concept of the ‘CD Skip’, which is ‘just repeat the same thing over and over again, because it’s not that you’re saying something that doesn’t make sense, they’re just refusing to hear it’

Me: *repeats myself* Guy: That doesn’t-- Me: It may also be a toggle along the side of the physical laptop itself, depending on what model laptop you have. I don’t have that information, but it’s in one of those two spots Guy: *starts sputtering and shouting at me* YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU LITTLE-- (I can hear the ‘bitch’ hanging on his tongue but he stops himself) I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. I HAVE WORK TO DO! Me to me: Good luck doing that without being able to log in or backspace Me: I’m just asking you to ensure your wifi is off and reboot your machine to make sure everything is connecting-- Guy: THIS IS STUPID I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS I HAVE AN ACTUAL JOB TO DO (because tech support isn’t a real job, apparently) I’LL CALL YOU LATER *slams phone down*

Now. This shit happens all the fucking time. At least once a day I get a boomer who gets violently angry because I ask them to do something remarkably simple. And I don’t mean “simple to people who grew up  using technology” I mean simple like “Hey, there’s a glowing button on your monitor, right?” “Yeah” “Push it” “*angry confused ranting*”.

And I specify boomers, because I almost never have this issue with younger employees. I say “can you make sure your wifi is switched off” and they either 1. Know how to turn it off and on or 2. can follow the simple instructions of looking for a switch and looking on the F keys.

The main issues seem to pretty much stem from these bullshitteries: 1. A refusal to understand that something can be done in more than one way. I’ve literally had people screaming at me that I was breaking their computer because I went to file > print and didn’t just click the printer icon 2. A refusal to learn about the device they’re using: ESPECIALLY with smart phones. They’ll learn how to do something like make a call and check an email, but heaven forbid you ask them to turn the phone off and on or uninstall an app (seriously had an attorney screaming at me because he didn’t know how to click on the app store to download an app) 3. A refusal to understand that not every inconvenience is a HUGE issue (this is often the ‘my computer was slow for .5 seconds’/ is running slow but my computer has been on for 6+ months crowd) 4. A refusal to comprehend that there’s some things they don��t know how to do 5. A refusal to understand that just because you don’t know how to do something, doesn’t mean it’s broken (I once had a ridiculously long call with a lady-who wouldn’t let me remote in with her-who kept insisting that her PDF program was malfunctioning and wouldn’t let her convert PDFs, and getting angry and lying about following my troubleshooting steps and screaming that there must be something wrong with her computer. When in reality it turned out that she didn’t know how to convert PDFs and instead of admitting that, she just kept saying that the program wasn’t working. There’s literally a big “CONVERT PDF TO WORD” button, but w/e).  6. A refusal to think critically or troubleshoot. I get a lot of REALLY stupid issues like “My computer says I need to restart it to install updates” “Okay, what happens when you restart it?” “WELL HOW I WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO DO THAT?” or “This document won’t open when I click on it” “Have you tried clicking on it again?” “Well, no.” or “The printer says it’s out of paper” “Have you put paper in it?” “No!”.

7. A refusal to follow simple instructions

And knowing all of this, it just fucking irks me that Boomers scream about how entitled millennials are, but they literally can’t grasp that the world doesn’t work the way they want it to. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PUT PAPER INTO THE PRINTER? I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO HIT THE CONVERT PDF BUTTON TO CONVERT PDFS!!” “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME THIS ITEM FOR FREE?????”

In my customer service experience, when you tell a millennial how something works or store policy or when something can/can’t be done, usually so long as you’re polite about it, they’re polite about it. But when you tell a boomer that their coupon is expired or that they’ll have to wait an extra 5 minutes if they want fresh fries, they lose their fucking shit. Drives me up the wall how a boomer will one minute be asking for help opening a goddamn email, but then .5 seconds go on about how lazy and entitled millenials are.

/rant