#(also as a disclaimer: like with any part of a language the forms of address used can differ regionally

[transdimensional-void]

Japanese Language and World-building in Ascendance of a Bookworm

I decided to make this post because a conversation with @mesaprotector made me realize that readers experiencing Ascendance of a Bookworm in English (through Quof’s admittedly excellent translations) might not be aware of Kazuki-sensei’s extensive use of Japanese linguistic features in shaping the world and its characters.

Disclaimer: I don’t have any particular credentials that make me an expert in this area. All I can boast is good enough Japanese language skills to notice these features! But, if you’re interested in my explanation, read on...

About Japanese

Japanese is a language that allows people to easily express their relationship to others through their choice of words. This is likely rooted in Japan’s feudal past, when social roles were much more strictly defined and enforced. Some features that allow this are:

Masculine vs. Feminine Speech: Men and women can (and often still do) use completely different vocabulary as a form of gender expression.

Use of Different Titles: Most manga and anime fans are familiar with titles like -san and -sama used to refer to others politely. Not using a title for someone is also a way to express your perceived relationship to them.

Polite vs. Informal Speech: You use polite speech when speaking to people you perceive as being of a higher social ranking than you, or people you are not close enough to use informal speech with. There are varying levels of politeness. For example, “aru” is casual, “arimasu” is polite, and “gozaimasu” is ultra-super-polite.

Pronouns in Ascendance of a Bookworm

I (first person singular pronoun)

Commoner women, like Tuuli and Effa, use わたし(watashi, written in hiragana) to say I. Commoner men, like Gunther, use オレ(ore, written in katakana) to say I.

Noble women, like Florencia and Elvira, use わたくし(watakushi, written in hiragana) to say I. Noble men, like Damuel and Sylvester, use 私 (watashi, written in kanji) to say I.

There are some commoner women who exclusively use “watakushi,” like noble women do. Frieda does, and so do all of the gray shrine maidens in the temple. Similarly, the gray priests in the temple use “watashi” instead of “ore.”

Well-trained commoner men who are interacting with nobles (e.g. - Benno when he gets fancified) will switch to “watashi” as well.

Even after becoming a noble and referring to herself as “watakushi” when speaking, Myne still calls herself “watashi” in her inner monologue. This is not the case for other women who have been trained to use “watakushi” since birth, so it’s a sign that Myne's inner self is unchanged despite the new, noble veneer.

You (second person singular pronoun)

Commoner women almost never use any version of the pronoun “you.” Instead, they will call a person by their name, either with or without a title depending on their relationship to that person, or by a title only. Commoner men use おまえ(omae, written in hiragana) to say “you.”

Noble women also will usually refer to others by their name, though when they do use a pronoun, they use 貴方/貴女 (anata, either in masculine or feminine form depending on the gender of the person they are addressing, written in kanji). Noble men use 其方 (sonata, written in kanji) when speaking to people of equal or lower rank and 貴方/貴女 when speaking to those of a higher rank.

And then we have 君 (kimi, written in kanji), which I have only seen Ferdinand use, though I believe other men in the temple use it when referring to someone of a lower rank than they are (e.g., the former High Bishop Bezewanst uses it to refer to Myne in the anime, so I’m guessing he used it in the LN as well, though I have not read part 1 in Japanese). Ferdinand normally uses “anata” and “sonata” like any noble man--except when speaking to Rozemyne, who he calls “kimi.” It’s a regular reminder that their relationship began in the temple, not in noble society, and that he feels differently toward her than he does toward any other noble.

Titles in Ascendance of a Bookworm

No Title

This is used among commoners to indicate someone with whom the speaker has a close relationship. For example, Lutz just calls Myne “Myne” with no title attached. Among nobles, it is used when referring to someone of lower rank. For example, Sylvester calls Ferdinand just “Ferdinand” because he is his younger brother and a lower-ranking noble than Sylvester. Noble men will also use it to refer to those of equal rank, and retainers serving the same lord or lady use it regardless of rank to facilitate quick communication. 

-san (-さん）

This title only gets used within commoner society. It indicates distance in relationship between the two people interacting as well as a desire to speak politely. For example, Myne calls Benno “Benno-san” until she becomes a noble. Afterward, she drops the title to indicate that he is of a lower rank than she is, except when they are in the hidden room together and she reverts to her commoner speech patterns.

-sama (-様）

This title is used by commoners when speaking to nobles. It is also used by nobles. Noble men use it when referring to someone of a higher rank than they are. Noble women use it when referring to someone of higher or equal rank to themselves, including their husbands. For example, Cornelius calls Rozemyne “Rozemyne-sama” when he is on the job as her retainer, but when they are speaking as siblings, he just calls her “Rozemyne” because she is his younger sister and therefore lower in the family hierarchy. Rozemyne and Hannelore always refer to one another as “Rozemyne-sama” and “Hannelore-sama” despite their close friendship and equal rank. Eglantine refers to Anastasius as “Anastasius-sama” both before and after they are married.

Family Titles

These are used among both commoners and nobles, though they use different ones. Myne refers to Gunther as 父さん (tou-san, written in a combo of kanji and hiragana) and Effa as 母さん (kaa-san, written in a combo of kanji and hiragana). Lutz refers to them as Gunther-ojisan (Uncle Gunther) and Effa-obasan (Aunt Effa). Myne and Tuuli refer to one another with their names only, no family titles required, indicating that commoners are more relaxed about the hierarchy among siblings.

In noble society, different titles are used by men and women. Noble men use the following: 

Father = 父上 (chichi-ue, written in kanji) and Mother = 母上 (haha-ue, written in kanji)

Older Brother = 兄上 (ani-ue, written in kanji) and Older Sister = 姉上 (ane-ue, written in kanji)

Uncle = 叔父上 (oji-ue) and Aunt = 叔母上 (obaue) 

Grandfather = お祖父上 (ojii-ue, written in a combo of hiragana and kanji) and Grandmother = お祖母上 (obaa-ue, written in a combo of hiragana and katakana)

Noble women use:

Father = お父様 (otou-sama, combo of hiragana and kanji) and Mother = お母様 (okaa-sama, hiragana and kanji) 

Older Brother = お兄様 (onii-sama, hiragana and kanji) and Older Sister = お姉様 (onee-sama, hiragana and kanji)

Uncle = 叔父様 (oji-sama, kanji) and Aunt = 叔母様 (oba-sama, kanji) 

Grandfather = お祖父様 (ojii-sama, hiragana and kanji) and Grandmother = お祖母様 (obaa-sama, hiragana and kanji).

Myne also uses yet another set of family titles to refer to her adoptive family! Sylvester is 養父様 (tou-sama, literally “adoptive father-sama,” written in kanji) and Florencia is 養母様 (kaa-sama, literally “adoptive mother-sama,” written in kanji). She also often calls her older brothers by their names with nii-sama attached, such as Wilfried-nii-sama, as opposed to just by onii-sama. This is probably to distinguish among her multiple older brothers.

Other Titles

A variety of other titles get used in place of calling people by their name or pronouns, both in commoner and noble society. For example, Mark exclusively refers to Benno as 旦那様 (danna-sama, kanji), a title that Lutz begins calling Benno as well once he begins working for him. 

Myne refers to Ferdinand as 神官長 (shinkancho, “High Priest,” kanji) almost exclusively until she becomes a noble. Then she refers to him as Ferdinand-sama when they are outside the temple but still shinkancho when they are in the temple, up until he stops being the High Priest (;_;). She also usually drops the -sama when referring to him in her inner monologue, further indication that while she can walk the noble walk, she doesn’t really believe in the hierarchy.

Professors of the royal academy get called -sensei. Giebes, Aubs, and the Zent also get called by their titles sometimes in place of their names, sometimes in addition to their names. 

Formal vs. Informal Registers in AoAB

I’m not going to list every single word that is different between different registers here because that would be way too long. However, I’ll give some examples. 

Commoners generally speak in an informal register all the time, unless they have been trained to speak politely to people of higher-rank. They use contractions such as -って (-tte, written in hiragana) to mean “said,” and they also often drop the ends of sentences entirely. When they do use verbs, they use the simple dictionary form, e.g. - aru instead of arimasu. Male commoners will often use interjections such as “na” or “ze” or “zo,” which makes their speech sound manlier and rougher. They also tend to use “da” instead of “desu.”

Any commoner who has been trained to use polite language will tend to use the politest forms when speaking to nobles, e.g. - gozaimasu instead of arimasu.

Nobles in general will use politer forms of verbs except in very private, relaxed situations. For example, 参ります (mairimasu, kanji and hiragana) instead of 来る (kuru) or おっしゃる (ossharu, hiragana) instead of 言う (iu, kanji and hiragana).

Noble women have extremely restricted speech patterns. They always speak in the polite or politest registers. For example, a noble woman speaking to a social equal or inferior might use “arimasu,” but when speaking to a social superior, she will use “gozaimasu” or “irasshaimasu.” They also say えぇ(ee, hiragana) to say “yes” instead of the more familiar “hai.” Noble men will use あぁ (aa, hiragana) to say “yes.”

Noble men have a little more freedom in their forms of speech. Many will use informal masculine speech when speaking to social equals or inferiors while still using slightly different vocabulary choice. For example, Ferdinand often says 解せぬ (gesenu, kanji and hiragana) instead of 知らない (shiranai) to say “I don’t know.” They will switch to the polite (but not necessarily politest) forms when speaking to someone slightly above them in rank and reserve the politest forms for those very high above them. However, some men will choose to use polite language all the time, even when speaking to social inferiors.

This is especially notable in the speech patterns of Anastasius vs. Sigiswald. Anastasius chooses to use more stripped-down, rougher language when speaking to social inferiors, whereas Sigiswald still uses “anata” and -masu endings when speaking to social inferiors such as Adolphine and Rozemyne. It demonstrates a stark difference between the two princes’ personalities and how they wish to present themselves to the world.

Another notable use of informal vs. formal is when Myne is in a hidden room with someone who knows of her commoner past. She’ll revert to how she spoke as a commoner. My favorite instance of this is in Part 4 volume 8 when she and Ferdinand are in his hidden room just after she learned he is leaving. As she grows more and more emotional with her threats, she loses the ability to speak in noble speech patterns and starts speaking to him the same way she would Lutz or Tuuli (</3).

In Conclusion

I know this has been a very long post, but hopefully those who are as in love with Bookworm as I am will find it interesting and useful. Kazuki-sensei does a masterful job of exploiting the Japanese language’s unique features to make this world and its characters come alive, and it’s unfortunate that English lacks easy equivalents to allow us to appreciate these effects in translation. When reading the text in Japanese, as long as you know which characters are present and what situation they are in, you can almost always guess who is speaking just from their speech patterns. 

In the English version, Quof will often insert a character’s name to let us know, and also will sometimes add clues such as “spoke in a very stiff manner” to replace the linguistic features lost in translation. I encourage those reading in English to keep their eyes peeled for these little insertions.

My hope is that the above can serve as a window into this aspect of world-building for some English-speaking readers!

[systematicallycapricious]

Just musing about a couple small oddities I noticed while going through the Japanese version of Ultimax. Disclaimer: I still don’t know a super-ton about the Japanese language, so these observations might not actually mean anything of importance. >_>

(And if anyone with better Japanese knowledge than I comes across this post and wants to help elucidate things, I’m always down to learn more.)

                                                            [1]

In Labrys’s arcade mode, Minazuki introduces himself as purely “ミナヅキ”, while in every other instance I can find in both story mode and arcade mode, he always introduces himself fully as “ミナヅキショウ” (like shown below with Chie).

The closest thing I can find to the contrary of his usual pattern is how he introduces himself to Adachi in “Episode Adachi” (pictured below), but even then he still gives his full name after a moment.

Meanwhile, in the English translation of Labrys’ arcade mode story, this discrepancy is entirely glossed over as Minazuki just introduces himself in his English-typical “Minazuki. Sho Minazuki”.

I haven’t checked through the manga to see if this pattern holds there too, ‘cause I’m not as familiar with its sequence of events as I am with the game and so would have to comb through it more meticulously. So there might be something there that affirms or breaks this pattern?

So yeah. I don’t really have enough sociocultural knowledge to know if him doing that is indicative of a closer relational position, of him being more disrespectful, or of it being some purely grammatical variation with little characterization meaning, though I do find it interesting from a “well, it’s an oddity of behavioral pattern if nothing else” perspective.

(Oh- and for additional context, in that scene in Labrys’ arcade story, Minazuki makes mention of how he and Labrys are the same, something that’s reiterated in one of his “spectating Labrys’ dance” voice lines in P3:DiM. Thus why it seems plausible to me that he might consider himself relationally closer to her. Though on the other hand, he might still see her as an inanimate tool as well, so not treating her with the same formality as he would a person could give credence to it being a more disrespectful form of regard instead? There’s not really enough context to tell, as even his Labrys-specific battle lines and DiM lines could be read either or both ways. :P)

                                                            [2]

In EpP4, when Minazuki stabs General Kagutsuchi and demands to know what he’s planning to do with Sho, he seemingly goes to refer to Sho as “this child(この子を)”, then pauses for a moment before changing his address to “Minazuki(皆月を)”, with “を” being a grammatical marker for the “direct object” of a conversation or sentence I think..? If there are more nuances to it than that, I haven’t learned them yet, haha. Anyways, after changing the direct object that he’s referring to, he then goes on to say the rest of the sentence.

Meanwhile, in the English translation, this is just simplified into “this boy” with no further distinction between the two apparent forms of address that the Japanese version has.

As for the manga, he just outright uses “皆月を” from the start, though, aside from dropping Kagutsuchi’s name from the dialogue boundaries, says the line exactly the same (どうするつもりだ). The English fan-scanlation on Mangadex follows in the footsteps of the English game translation in writing the line as “Just what do you intend to do with this boy?”. (Edit Aug 2024: the Udon official manga translation translates it as “What were you going to do with [Sho]?”)

Also, just for context, I think usually any other time that any character uses “皆月”, it’s translated as “Sho” rather than “that boy”? (With the exception of the manga ‘pronunciation subtitles inform you that the spoken word is entirely different than the written word’ thing where sometimes “皆月” is written but “この子” is spoken, I think.)

So yeah. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be an important characterization detail on Minazuki’s part, since this happens right after Yu gets him to realize that he's a person supporting Sho rather than Sho being totally alone, or if it’s just a negligible grammatical thing. Though, since I don’t think Minazuki ever calls Sho “皆月” outright outside of explaining Sho’s past to other characters, in which even then I think he uses “皆月翔” specifically, it kind of makes me think that him using a more direct form of address for Sho rather than an indirect one might hold some significance?

Although, as a counterpoint to that, we also don’t ever really see him directly conversing or interacting with Sho outside of a couple scenes in the manga and a couple lines in P3:DiM, so maybe he does call Sho by name more regularly and we just don’t get to see it. For example, in the P4U2 DNA Comics anthology, there’s quite a few times where Minazuki directly addresses Sho by his family name, but the anthology is non-canon as far as I know, so I can’t really count it. :T

Also, I haven’t extensively combed through every last instance for this point, so you may want to take it with a grain of salt, as some things may have fallen through the cracks. ^^;

                                Addendum: P4U2 Stageplay

I’m putting the stageplay in a separate section here mostly because 1) I don’t know how “canon” it’s considered and 2) my phonetic Japanese comprehension still needs a lot of work and I don’t have subtitles like I do with the game. Also I kind of wrote-up everything above before remembering that it existed. <_<;

Anyways, going through it with my limited comprehension, I can say that Minazuki sticks with his “ミナヅキショウ” full introduction and sticks to referring to Sho as “彼(him)” and “この子(this child)” throughout his appearances... with a single exception. In a flashback to when Minazuki confronts Ikutsuki with Tsukiyomi, Minazuki at one point says “翔(Shou)” specifically. However, as I don’t know the rest of the words preceding it, I don’t really know if he’s referring to Sho, of whom he kind of yeeted out of the body a bit beforehand, or if he’s referring to himself since he shares a name with Sho.

And as for what he says to Kagutsuchi just before he gets possessed, he actually seems to say just “どうするつもりだ、カグツチ？”, bringing the three variations full-circle by keeping Kagu’s name but nixing any direct reference to Sho.

[sk8theinfinitysims4-leavan]

Kyan Family

Let's start with the first family. The Kyan family is a family composed of seven members, father and mother Masato and Masae, grandmother Nanami and eldest son Reki, middle daughter Koyomi and twin sisters and younger daughters Nanaka and Chihiro. They live in a typical Okinawan house with lots of planting and various shisa figures throughout the dwelling.

Many of the characters are constantly changing, such as hair, eyes, facial features, to make them look more like the canon, but keeping our way of making sims, so the appearance may vary a little over time.

Names marked with * are unofficial names, carefully researched and chosen. Characters marked with ✩ are the most common ones to appear in our stories.

~All the family under the cut line~

Disclaimer: English and Japanese is not our native language, so it's possible that we have writed and/or translated some things incorrectly. 🙇💦

喜屋武暦 (Kyan Reki) ✩

First name: 暦 (Reki)

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Ocupation: High School Student (高校生)

Job: Part-time job at Dope Sketch

"S" Name: レキ (Reki)

Stance (Skateboard): Regular

Birthday: August, 8th

Zodiac sign: Leo

Blood type: 0

Weight: 57kg

Height: 174cm

Age: 17

Reki is the first born son of Masae and Masato Kyan. A boy who is passionate about skateboarding, he lives, eats and sleeps with skateboarding in mind. He has three little sisters, Koyomi and twins Nanaka and Chihiro. He also lives together with his grandmother, Nanami.

When he was younger, had a friend with whom learned to skateboard, but his friend got seriously injured, got scared, quit skateboarding and was never heard from again, at least until recently when they met again on a summer trip to one of the small islands of Okinawa. (You will learn more about him in his own publication, where we will introduce him and his family). He met Langa Hasegawa, a half Canadian, half Japanese student, who moved with her mother to Okinawa, Japan, where she grew up. Reki taught him how to skateboard, as he became a skateboarder thanks to him, and they're now best friends. Reki loves to draw, design and build skateboards, so much that he made his own board, he has also made his best friend Langa's and he's very good at adapting to the needs of each person. Thanks to the custom board he made for Langa, he was able to adapt much better to skateboarding in a short time.

He works at the DOPE SKETCH skateboard store along with Langa for Shokichi Oka, the store manager and they're dedicated to fixing skateboards, making designs, selling skateboard related products in the same store and delivering the orders that customers order from them to the address or place they ask to, among other things, all managed by Oka, who also helps in all those tasks.

Close-up of his face and full body view

喜屋武月日 (Kyan Koyomi) ✩

First name: 月日 (Koyomi)

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Ocupation: Elementary School (小学校)

Job: ---

"S" Name: ---

Stance (Skateboard): Regular

Birthday: ???

Zodiac sign: ???

Blood type: ???

Weight: ???

Height: 1'36cm~1'40cm

Age: 11

She's the middle daughter of the Kyan family. Her parents are Masae and Masato and her siblings are Reki, Chihiro and Nanaka. She loves strawberries and watermelons and seems to be very good at skateboarding. Lately she has hit it off very well with Miya and his friends, Takashi and Chisa, and together they have formed a crew. She has also gradually set her sights on becoming better at skateboarding than her brother and therefore wants to improve by practicing together with Miya and Taka. She wants Chisa to learn how to skateboard as well so that can have a female partner, but she doesn't seem to be very convinced by this idea. However, Koyomi is also trying to integrate her friends from school to see if any of them are interested. So it seems that over the years, Reki has created a little monster. She also recently got to know Kojiro's younger siblings, Kosuke and Koharu, when she met them at Miya's birthday party, where Reki invited her.

Close-up of her face and full body view

喜屋武七日 (Kyan Nanaka)

First name: 七日 (Nanaka)

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Ocupation: Kindergarten (幼稚園)

Stance (Skateboard): Regular

Age: 3~4

She's the daughter of Masae and Masato, twin sister of Chihiro and younger sister of Koyomi and Reki. Of the two twins she's the more adventurous. She usually wears puppies on her shirts and yellow and orange are her predominant colors.

喜屋武千日 (Kyan Chihiro)

First name: 千日 (Chihiro)

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Ocupation: Kindergarten (幼稚園)

Stance (Skateboard): Regular

Age: 3~4

She's the daughter of Masae and Masato, twin sister of Nanaka and younger sister of Koyomi and Reki. Of the two twins she's the most fearful. She usually wears kittens on her shirts and green and purple are her predominant colors.

喜屋武正恵 (Kyan Masae)

First name: 正恵 (Masae)

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Job: Housewife

Stance (Skateboard): Goofy (Unofficial information shown in manga Chill out, line 12)

Age: ???

Wife of Masato and mother of Reki, Koyomi, Chihiro and Nanaka. She is always very attentive to her children and cares for all of them on the same level.

暦の父親 (Reki's father)

First name: 万慧 (Masato)*

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Job: ???

Stance (Skateboard): Regular (Unofficial information shown in manga Chill out, line 12)

Age: ???

Husband of Masae and father of Reki, Koyomi, Chihiro and Nanaka. He's son of Nanami Kyan. (In traditional Japanese families, one of male heirs to family estate lives with his parents after marriage. Following that premise, we have chosen him to be her son and not Masae since all official places don't specify it and call her [喜屋武家おばあちゃん] Translation: Grandmother of the Kyan family. In case otherwise specified, we would change it and place it in the official way, along with a reblog).

暦のお婆さん (Reki's grandmother)

First name: 七海 (Nanami)*

Last name: 喜屋武 (Kyan)

Job: Retired

Stance (Skateboard): Regular (Unofficial information shown in manga Chill out, line 12)

Age: ???

She's the grandmother of the Kyan family. Mother of Masato and grandmother of Reki, Koyomi, Chihiro and Nanaka. At mealtimes she always tries to eat with her grandson and granddaughters, although Reki often doesn't accompany them.

Next family will be Hasegawa family. See you on Saturday! ❄️🛹

(To see more families, click on #SK8 FamilyTrees hashtag)

[singingwordwright]

The “EDI and Geth survive the Destroy Ending” manifesto

The goodies dropped on N7 Day of 2021 told a contradictory story:

On one hand, you had a cinematic video of Liara climbing a dead Reaper, which would indicate that the canon ending for ME3 was the Destroy ending, with at least one other dead Reaper in the background.

On the other hand, you had a poster released in which several figures were approaching a crater that resembled a Geth's head. Since the Geth (and EDI) are supposedly wiped out along with the Reapers in the event of the Destroy ending, these two things shouldn't be able to co-exist.

Then came N7Day 2022, which (when unscrambled) seems to have audio of Liara talking to some Geth. Again, this is in contradiction to the notion of Liara climbing a dead Reaper.

I've spent the last year trying to resolve this contradiction, and I believe there's a solid foundation for believing the Geth and EDI COULD survive the destroy ending, and that Shepard is mislead by the Catalyst when told Geth and EDI would also be destroyed if Shepard chooses that option.

These are my conclusions. (dun-dun.) 

Caveat Emptor: This manifesto is way past the point of relevancy to most fans of the franchise, I’m sure, and it’s quite possible someone has opined on this subject before me. But I’m a latecomer to Mass Effect and if that’s the case, I haven’t seen it. Pardon any lack of originality.

Furthermore, I have nothing more than a layman’s grasp of astro- and nuclear physics, and maybe a smidge better understanding of computer networking. I’ve got perhaps a journeyman’s knowledge of coding, in that I’ve taught myself enough to write a couple libraries to use as dependencies for apps I hoped to develop someday.

Finally, I have not read the Mass Effect books or comics. If these issues are addressed therein, I will have missed it. I probably have also missed a lot of Word of God input from the creators, as I don't follow them religiously. 

Let's proceed....

Watching a playthrough of someone else’s Mass Effect game recently brought back a lot of thoughts I’ve had about the Destroy ending, and the supposed destruction of EDI and the Geth alongside the Reapers. And I call bullshit.

Again, I’m sure that’s not a revelation; as beloved as EDI and Legion are, many, many people have declared that ending bullshit. But I come with receipts! Nearly every point I make from here on out is backed by canonical evidence in game. Sometimes that evidence is dependent upon Shepard leaning toward a particular morality. Beyond that, any supposition or assumption I make is clearly disclaimed as such and has at least a significant portion of the underlying rationale supported by in-game statements or events.

Before I begin, I will clarify that yes, I am aware of the Indoctrination Theory and have watched a number of videos about it, including the originals. While I’m not positive I believe the entire thing, because some of it felt like reaching (which I may be guilty of myself, herein) there are parts of it that make a great deal of sense to me and have no doubt influenced my thinking. As such, there may be some overlap between my theories and theirs.

PART ONE: The interoperability of EDI, the Geth, and the Reapers

Three disparate programming languages

As EDI herself points out when comparing her independent intelligence to the Geth’s networked intelligence, EDI and the Geth are two very different forms of AI. To wit, until after (and if) they survive Priority: Rannoch, the Geth aren’t “true,” fully-evolved AIs. We have multiple sources confirming this, most notably Admiral Shala Raan and Legion leading up to the final battle for Rannoch.

The Geth possess self-awareness, but can only function independently at a limited intellectual capability. Unless multiple Geth are networked together (such as Legion) they are really closer to VIs, except that they still possess rudimentary self-awareness.

EDI, the Geth, and the Reapers were created–by which I mean coded, since, as Legion points out, they exist purely as software–by different races and at different times. While the essence of any programming ultimately comes down to the ones and zeros (i.e. which bits are “on” and which bits are “off”), regardless of the coding language, it’s probable that EDI, the Geth, and the Reapers were all written in vastly different languages. IIRC, the Prothean designs for the Crucible are in base-12 math. Most likely, the math underlying the programming of each of these three different AIs varies one from the other at least that much or more.

For example: Quarians only have three fingers on each hand. So is their elementary level math in base-10 like ours, or base-6, which would account for their total number of fingers and therefore their most primitive tool for counting? And we’ve seen the Leviathan race that created the Catalyst. How did they learn to count in the primitive stage of their evolution? What is their mathematics–and thus, the base language of all their technology–built upon?

It’s possible the language in which EDI’s software was written may have been influenced by technology picked up from other races in the 30 years since First Contact. It’s also possible that the programming languages of those races may have been influenced by the quarians’ programming languages of a few centuries ago. If both of those conditions are true, it would give EDI and the Geth a minuscule chance of “out-of-the-box” interoperability.

It is also possible that the languages in which EDI and the Geth were written were, to some extent, derived from or influenced by the technological advances that came with discovering “Prothean” ruins and acquiring mass effect technology, which of course originated with the Catalyst and the Reapers. That allows for a minute chance that there is some limited interoperability between all three. But like any other language, programming evolves, or at least branches. The languages EDI and the Geth were written in may or may not be backward compatible with Reaper code, but it seems unlikely.

We don’t know when the quarians discovered mass effect technology, but we know it was long enough ago for them to be able to escape via the relays when fleeing Rannoch nearly three centuries prior to Mass Effect. It’s likely the Geth were created using quarian programming languages that are more than a century or two of evolution past the first influence of “Prothean” (i.e. Reaper) technology.

In other words, there isn’t much chance of out-of-the-box interoperability between these three kinds of software.

Remember that embarrassing snafu with one of the early Mars rover projects a couple decades ago, where the project almost entirely failed because someone assumed they were working with the English measurement system rather than metric, or vice versa? Yeah. It’s kinda like that. Precision in these matters is really rather important, and usually a little precision is lost each time one system is converted to another for compatibility.

EDI and Reaper tech

EDI herself, Shepard points out, incorporates “Reaper technology”, as no doubt does EVA’s platform that EDI commandeers. This would suggest that EDI has a greater chance of interoperability with the Reapers than she does with the Geth.

But we’re never told exactly what “Reaper technology” means. Does it mean she was written in Reaper code? Does it mean Reaper hardware was incorporated into her physical design, i.e. her hardware in the medical bay AI core and throughout Normandy? And to what degree? What portion of EDI is Alliance tech from the training facility on Luna in ME1, what portion of it is the other AI on the Citadel in ME1 (the jury is out as to whether that was included in material salvaged from the Citadel), and what portion was based upon Sovereign? 

I find the notion of incorporating actual Reaper hardware into EDI’s design unlikely, as doing so might pose a hazard of indoctrination to the crew of the Normandy SR2. We’re not sure anyone knows how capable of indoctrinating people pieces of a DEAD Reaper can be until the Derelict Reaper mission in ME2, and no doubt The Illusive Man would certainly have considered it, but as far as we’re ever aware, no one on Normandy ends up indoctrinated (with the exception of Shepard under the Indoctrination Theory). Therefore, I’m going to discount the possibility of Reaper hardware being integrated into EDI’s platforms. 

That leaves software. In which case, we have to ask ourselves, how much software would Cerberus be able to derive from the remnants of Sovereign?

Sovereign is a fully functional, independent, and self aware platform. Like Geth ships, it doesn’t need pilots and engineers and operators to keep it functional. We don’t even have proof of it having any caretakers, like the Keepers on the Citadel. Therefore one may surmise that user interface components on Sovereign would be minimal. Indeed, in the derelict Reaper, almost all the interfaces were ones the Cerberus science team installed.

I’d also call it improbable that Sovereign has anything along the lines of an AI core, because a) since Sovereign doesn’t need a crew for maintenance, there’s no incentive to keep the hardware centralized and accessible, and b) such a configuration would create a massive point of vulnerability where a lucky shot could take out most, if not all, of Sovereign’s processing power in one hit.

Conveniently for Cerberus, that probably also means Sovereign’s processing power isn’t contained in an AI core the size of Normandy herself (if not larger) which could prove problematic for secretly hauling it away.

So how is it designed? I can see two possibilities.

The first is that it has multiple, smaller processing nodes throughout its physical platform, similar to the way EDI says many of her processes are distributed throughout Normandy (though she still does have an AI core as well.)

The second is that those components all comprise the ship itself. There’s no reason to believe their hardware bears any resemblance to ours, even futuristic as ours is in Mass Effect.

The Catalyst–and therefore the Reapers–might not possess any notions about needing to build processors and memory storage as separate units and shield them inside an external casing. Without more data to say for sure, it’s every bit as likely that Sovereign’s processing and memory components are part and parcel of the shell and inner architecture of the ship itself, with most or every surface being the Reaper equivalent of a circuit board and/or data storage unit. This could certainly explain how the human proto-Reaper in the Collector base was already so functional when it was merely at an “embryonic” stage of its development.

If the nodes model applies, since we’re discussing a “ship” twice the size of a skyscraper, each of those nodes would still likely be quite massive and not easy to move, much less slip out from under the nose of C-Sec and the Council and the Council races’ in the aftermath of the Battle of the Citadel. 

The “every piece is a functional piece of processing and storage hardware” theory makes portability less of an issue, since any piece, however small, may contain fragments of Reaper code.

But even then, how would Cerberus identify which pieces of salvage are memory or processing units? How would they know what that looks like?

Are we to believe that Cerberus managed to:

Extract enough salvaged pieces to determine which contained code that they could analyze and build from

Engineer a way to interface with those components

Decompile and decipher the code stored in those components

Wrap that code in something closer to our own languages so that 

interoperability is possible, the way a C++ library may need, say, an Objective-C wrapper to be used in Swift.

in less than two years, and STILL have enough time to develop an AI as fully-featured and functional as EDI?

Cerberus, being a human-supremacist organization, might have borrowed from what advanced technology the Alliance had acquired from Prothean ruins and the other races, but it wouldn’t have involved alien scientists with hundreds or thousands more years of experience in working with the advanced technology we only just recently acquired.

The Geth and the Reaper code upgrades

Until ME3, there is no indication that the Geth incorporate Reaper technology in any form. The Heretics chose to worship the Reapers; they were not influenced by Sovereign reprogramming them. “A House Divided” is quite clear on this point: the Heretics came to a conclusion and followed it, full stop.

When the Geth actually DID integrate Reaper code, doing so merely enhanced the Geth’s abilities enough to enable them to function as fully evolved intelligences even when operating independently.

We get a bit of a contradiction at this point: on one hand, the Geth Server mission on Rannoch indicates that with the server cleansed of Reaper code, the Geth stored in the server will be lost. As Shepard says, it’s like wiping out a whole city. Taking the server offline also causes the Geth forces in space to go into a state of dormancy. They stop fighting the quarians and just hang there in space. But it does not seem to “kill” them. Legion asks Shepard if the Geth deserve to die just for defending themselves, suggesting that they’re not going to actually be “dead” until the quarians attack and destroy them.

I’m not entirely sure how to reconcile those two notions. Why did removing the Reaper code destroy the programs on the Geth server, but only knock out the ships and fighters in space? For lack of any better explanation, I consider it to be a plot hole. As such, I feel perfectly free to patch it in whatever way best supports my own preferences and agenda, which is to “save” EDI and the Geth in the Destroy ending.

Therefore, I’m going to hypothesize that removing the Reaper upgrades does not “kill” the Geth that aren’t directly networked in an affected server. The geth operating on mobile platforms can still function without the upgrades, but it will take longer for them to return to functionality because they need to be…rebooted? Perform a factory reset? Whatever.

Once rebooted, however, the Geth would only have the same functionality that they had BEFORE the Reaper upgrades. They would still have self-awareness, but reduced independent intelligence.

✴️TL;DR: Conclusion #1 We may safely conclude that whatever Reaper technology is integrated with EDI, her overall functionality does not depend upon it. Likely, it’s limited to being able to interface with Reaper tech, such as the Reaper IFF. And even that took at least a day or two to integrate. Possibly more, depending on when you played the Derelict Reaper mission and whether you had other other missions besides “A House Divided” to complete before the attack on Normandy triggered.

Furthermore, given textual clues, it seems probable that the Geth could return to some lesser degree of functionality after recovering from the removal of the Reaper upgrades.

PART TWO: How much of what the Catalyst tells Shepard is true?

When questioned about how EDI got the ship and Joker free of Alliance control when the Reapers attacked earth, EDI tells Shepard that she lied while posing as a V.I.. When questioned about this, EDI confirms that she has no programming constraints requiring her to provide accurate data.

If we extrapolate to assume that, similarly, the Catalyst surely has no safeguards against deception in its programming–how else could the Catalyst have done what it did to turn on its creators? How else could the Reapers be able to indoctrinate people into believing something that isn’t true?– everything it tells Shepard becomes suspect.

EDI also tells us that she has self-preservation priorities, and we see her choose to modify them. We can assume that, likewise, the Reapers–or more specifically, the Catalyst–values its own continued existence, and unlike EDI, it has no overriding priorities (such as Joker, whom she states she would risk non-functionality for.) Given that assumption, the Catalyst has motive to do everything in its power to induce Shepard to refuse the Destroy option. 

Including lying to Shepard.

The Reapers–and thus the Catalyst–know Shepard. They know that Shepard (or at least, iterations of Shepard that haven’t let the Geth die) values synthetic life. They know a peacemaker Shepard would consider sacrificing his/her/their own life preferable to sacrificing beings Shepard values. Depending on the choices Shepard has made, the Catalyst might also know that Shepard is anti-genocide.

Therefore, the Catalyst might conclude that if it presents Shepard with three choices–one of which involves being responsible for the genocide of not one, not two, but THREE unique synthetic races (EDI being a race unto herself, as the only one of her kind) and the others which only require Shepard to sacrifice their self, there’s a significant chance that Shepard would choose the latter. This doesn’t even require Shepard to be indoctrinated, merely to be a reasonably non-psychopathic person.

Furthermore, without this motivation, the Control ending makes NO sense for Shepard to choose.

I can sort of see why a non-psychopath Shepard might choose Synthesis, as it’s an option that requires no genocide, at least. But there’s just really no excuse for Shepard ever choosing Control beyond plain old bad storytelling.

From the very beginning of ME3, Shepard believes The Illusive Man to be wrong in his notions about controlling the Reapers. We’re not even given dialogue choices about this, and when we do have choices, even Renegade Shepard only gets to choose HOW to tell TIM “no,” rather than an option to say “sure, sounds like a great plan, sign me up!”

Shepard may have been supportive of Cerberus in ME2, may have told the Virmire Survivor that Cerberus was right, may have turned over the Collector base to Cerberus, but from “Priority: Mars” onward, Shepard is firmly opposed to the idea of controlling the Reapers. They know in their gut that TIM is wrong and destroying the Reapers is the right choice.

But then, after either killing TIM or inducing him to kill himself, Shepard gets a few words from this synthetic that they have no reason to believe, and suddenly it’s just “Whoopsie! I guess TIM was right. How embarrassing, finding that out right after I made him kill himself. Guess I’ll choose Control!”

Furthermore, Shepard knows The Illusive Man was indoctrinated. They can’t trust anything TIM was advocating for, because his will was not his own. Whatever he wanted is almost surely what the Reapers want. Shepard ALSO knows AI are capable of deception, because EDI told them so. So, unless Shepard is, indeed, indoctrinated, absolutely nothing about the Control option can be trusted.

Just as there is a such thing as Plot Armor, I find there is also a such thing as Plot-Convenient Incompetence (ask any Shadowhunters fan if you doubt the existence of this phenomenon), where an otherwise capable capable marksman suddenly can’t hit the broad side of a barn or defend their self from an amateur, or an intelligent character does the dumb thing for no reason other than TPTB say so. Shepard doing a 180 on choosing Control falls within this category. There’s just no valid excuse for it.

Even if Shepard is fully Renegade, the most likely option is that they just don’t care if EDI and the Geth die (assuming they’re still alive by this point) and thus, they have no motive to choose one of the self-sacrificial options. They’ll simply select Destroy.

In fact, the color coding of the options leads us to believe that Destroy IS the Renegade option, and Control is the paragon option (still doesn't make Control a logical solution, however, given everything Shepard has believed up until now.)

I suppose one could make the argument that Shepard wants power, but if Shepard’s existence as they know it is going to end, what good is that power? What would they do with it if they had it, and why were they so opposed to claiming it ten minutes ago when TIM was still yammering madly at them?

Moreover, whether or not they believe the Catalyst about the options they’re presented, a Shepard that has brokered peace between the Geth and Quarians KNOWS the Catalyst is wrong on one major point:

Synthetics and organics do not have to destroy each other. It’s NOT inevitable. Shepard has just finished proving it.

See, there’s this old saying about history and what happens to people who don’t learn from it. It’s entirely possible that the reason synthetics and organics have “inevitably” been destined to destroy each other is because the Reapers have been factory-resetting history every 50,000 years. No cycle has had an opportunity to learn from the mistakes older civilizations who have survived the development of artificial intelligence.

One might argue that Shepard could question if they would be proving the Catalyst’s assertion by selecting Destroy. But they wouldn’t, because regardless of the subsequent fate of EDI and the Geth, Shepard has proven that achieving peace and cooperation between organics and synthetics IS possible. EDI and the Geth, if they are indeed destroyed, will not be destroyed because of an inevitable war between them and organics, but because their destruction was an grievous side effect of eliminating the Reapers, who were bent on annihilating organics.

Furthermore, history will take the lessons of EDI’s willing cooperation with organics and the quarians mistakes and Shepard’s ability to broker peace between the quarians and the Geth forward into the future, and thus the cycle of organics and synthetics destroying each other may be broken.

And if not, well, that’s a problem for future generations to figure out. At least now there will BE future generations.

As for Synthesis, personally, I think it would take an incredible amount of confidence to make that choice for however many TRILLIONS of beings. Given the choice between sacrificing…what? A few million–maybe even a couple billion?...beings (who, unfortunately, are all synthetic) or forcing a metamorphosis no one consented to upon trillions of beings–including those same synthetics–it seems hard to rationalize why Shepard would choose the Synthesis option.

Especially since, again, the Catalyst is advocating for it, and the Catalyst can lie.

Finally, the fact that there are no synthetic races that have carried over from past cycles suggests that the Reapers don’t intend to let the synthetic races of the galaxy survive any more than they do organics. If Shepard choses Control or Synthesis and is wrong, EDI and the Geth will be destroyed anyway.

✴️TL;DR: Conclusion #2

Shepard has no reason to believe anything the Catalyst says, and a great deal of reason to mistrust any options the Catalyst offers them, as those options are likely to be in the Reapers best interest, rather than benefit to the organic (or possibly even synthetic) species of the galaxy. The Catalyst has the ability and motivation to try to discourage Shepard from selecting the Destroy ending, and Shepard has no reason not to know this and be able to draw these conclusions.

PART THREE: What does the Crucible really do, anyway?

Hearkening back to Part One, it’s established by Legion in ME2 that EDI, the Geth, and the Reapers are software. The platforms they operate on offer them mobility and the capacity to fight offensively or simply defend themselves, but their platforms are not what they are.

Therefore, whatever the Crucible does, it’s going to affect them as software, rather than as physical entities.

We’re told the Crucible is a “dark energy device” but given very few specifics.

IDK about y’all, but the word “energy” makes me think of something along the lines of an EMP. However, we’re not warned that it will make ALL software stop functioning, only synthetic beings. Ships, weapons, environment suits, even VIs, we have no indication that all computer-dependent technology is going to be effectively bricked (if we were, we would have to also consider the effect of the Destroy ending upon the vol and quarians, but clearly that isn’t the case.)

Even the Citadel and mass relays, which of any technology in the galaxy are most likely to share significant amounts of code with the Reapers, are merely damaged but capable of being repaired. That is, assuming you took the time to get your war assets high enough for an optimal ending.

Assuming the Catalyst is being honest about anything in this regard, the Crucible is a power source and the Catalyst directs its power toward…something.

(Side note: This calls into question the veracity of the Catalysts’ claims as regards Synthesis. I can see how the Crucible might enable Control–the signal would basically reprogram the Reapers to accept Shepard’s commands rather than the Catalyst’s–but how does energy result in the merging of organic and synthetic beings into a new kind of being? I’m no astrophysicist, but that one requires a significant suspension of disbelief.)

Moving on, however. How then, does the catalyst direct it ONLY toward synthetic beings and not any other kind of technology? Well, it would have to target something EDI and the Geth and the Reapers all have in common: Reaper code.

We may deduce that the “energy” functions more like a signal, or possibly even a virus, because it requires precise targeting. The only way to avoid bricking every bit of technology in the galaxy is for that signal or virus to specifically target Reaper code and Reaper code ONLY.

Additionally, the Citadel is required to create a targeted signal from the energy generated by the Crucible, and the mass relay network is required to boost and disseminate the signal. Which means we have to ask ourselves what does the Citadel and relay network do or possess to make this possible.

The answer: they were built by the Reapers, based on the Reapers own technology. They are able to target Reaper code because they are made using Reaper code. 

As we’ve already established in Part One, the integration of Reaper code in both EDI and the Geth is (or should be, if we’re disregarding inconvenient plot holes and applying logical thought to the matter) minimally invasive and the lack of it should not present an impediment to their functionality, aside from downgrading the Geth.

In the Citadel DLC, we see that EDI still functions even when cut off from the Normandy, where the greater part of her hardware exists. If she can still function even without the vast majority of her processing power, it stands to reason that she can function without the small portion of her code that is compatible with or derived from Reaper tech.

Will she function perfectly? Probably not at first. Much like her momentary glitching out if she rides in the car with Shepard to intercept the Normandy in the Citadel DLC, it’s likely she would be taken offline for a while to repair broken circuits and patch now-incomplete logic, which is likely why Normandy ends up crash landing on the unknown jungle planet.

But we’re told more than once that EDI is the ship, and the ship is EDI. The time when they could have functioned without each other has passed; EDI and the Normandy are now fully integrated. So the fact that Normandy is able to be repaired and takes off again suggests that EDI is also eventually restored to functionality, without whatever Reaper technology she may have initially had integrated into her systems. 

She may, however, lose her mobile platform, since that body is likely to incorporate MORE Reaper tech than her older code. This would explain why there are no slides of her stepping off the Normandy with Joker in any ending except Synthesis, and why she isn’t physically present in the scene at the memorial wall.

[seewetter]

"The erosion of usable language" can usually be stopped by simply defining your terms at the outset. Keep using whatever language you use and just give a brief definition or disclaimer at the beginning.

"The tearing apart of any comment or joke or w/e" is harder to fix. In my experience, no one thinks they are part of a mob, no one thinks they are engaging in harassment, no one thinks they are "victimizing" another person.

In fact, nobody read those sentences and thought "Who, me?". People just don't feel addressed by this stuff.

I wish people got the facts right about others.

I wish that real danger like sexual assault could not be used as a talking point to excuse doxxing and other forms of harassment, especially those that spill over into the offline existence of people, many of whom are innocent of what they are being accused of.

I wish there wasn't a part of Tumblr that loved drama and got caught up in participating in targeting individuals.

I wish people would not just say (or think) that they were checking the allegations carefully, but they would actually do so. I'll never forget how a popular kids book author we all know said she spent 3 years researching trans topics before speaking out: "much research" is "good research". Even if it was said in bad faith, that argument only works on an audience that in good faith thinks like that. People who think "oh yeah, looking up lots of things online gives you the real story".

Maybe we can contribute to fixing that:

To teach how to check facts.

To teach how to keep the community safe -- which doesn't work if we

To teach how to not get sucked up in the targeting of individuals, even bad individuals, because that won't fix things.

To develop a relationship to those unsafe people in our community characterized by distant scrutiny (stay out of their way, watch out for them, make sure you're not spreading misinformation about them: exaggerations about real abuse, for example, can and often do backfire)

"Good faith is a joke and none of us want to be the punchline."

The best thing to do to maintain good faith is to indicate to people around you ahead of time what can be expected of a good faith interlocutor. If they step over certain lines, everyone will know that this is an interaction in bad faith. And if some bad faith actor makes up fake "lines" (like those "do not interact" people) then you can practice distant scrutiny.

If we can learn to normalize distant scrutiny, we can have mistakes, we can be flawed, but we can also be responsible and vigilant towards serious problems in our community. We will be welcoming towards those who are taking their first steps in our midst and we will be more clear about where we believe lines should be drawn. And we won't agree on where they should be drawn, at least at first. But only in this way, where we politely ignore each other and don't go pushing each others buttons in order to "fix" others... only in this way can we change how this situation plays out and prevent it from repeating over and over again.

A huge frustration i have is that the current state of transmisogyny on this site makes it basically impossible to actually have discourse about transmisogyny among tgirl/tfemme/camab genderfreak millieu. On top of the erosion of usable language to talk about transmisogyny (tme, casab, etc.) Its also the tearing apart of any comment or joke or w/e to the point whr we cant even have actual comversation about it. This is spurred by the egg thing but also touches on femboy discourse, bi lesbean shit, theyfab, chaser, etc. I think we could have genuinely interesting conversation but there always a fucking mob around the corner trying to prepare us for sacrifice. So when some grl expresses an unuanced or very strong opinion on something i keep my mouth shut. Because, I get it, you've probably already received or witnessed harassment for this. Good faith is a joke and none of us want to be the punchline. I just wish we could share our opinions honestly without sumones blood ending up on an altar.

[ennuijpg]

Hi! I'm introducing some friends to the untamed and making some notes on where the netflix subs don't give enough information/good translations, according to the fandom. I saw your translation of the 'to die by your hand' scene and it KILLED me, so I was wondering if there are any other particular scenes you think it's important to note a different translation? Thank you so much if you can!

ooh so there aren't any scenes i can think of where the translation falls so so short of the actual emotion and meaning as much as that one, however there are definitely some less dramatic instances.

in general, i would say that mandarin (and a lot of other languages from what i've heard) has a lot more inherent emotional depth than english, so in translation, a lot of the subtitles sound very emotionally neutral or ambivalent when they really aren't.

the instance of this that sticks out to me the most is during the confrontation between wei wuxian and jiang cheng at the guanyin temple (ep 48, ~9 minutes in) where wuxian says to jiang cheng「都不要放在心上了」(dou bu yao fang zai xin shang), which the subtitles translate as "please don't keep it in your heart," which i'm actually not really mad at as a translation, but it's just not a phrase used much in english, so it sounds slightly awkward/doesnt convey the emotional context of that phrase.

so for context, mandarin has multiple ways of saying, loosely, "don't worry." there's「不要擔心」(bu yao dan xin), which is probably the most common and versatile to say it, and there's「不要放在心上」(bu yao fang zai xin shang), which is the one wuxian says to jiang cheng. (there's other ways too, they're just not rly relevant here) the literal translation of it is "do not put it on your heart," which the netflix is pretty close to, but ofc that doesn't tell u much abt usage. the way i've explained it in the past was, say u made a mistake at work and were beating urself up over it.「不要擔心」is something your coworker or boss might say to you to essentially say "hey it's no big deal, don't worry about it, ur fine;" it can be very casual. whereas, once you get home and start talking abt ur bad day at work,「不要放在心上」is more likely something your parent/sibling/partner/other loved one would say to you as they put a bowl of ur favorite soup in front of u. it has a level of inherent familiarity and deeper desire to comfort the person ur talking to than「不要擔心」. (note: i say inherent bc「不要擔心」doesnt have to always be casual/relatively emotionally neutral, it can be said w emotion ofc but the words themselves do not carry as much emotion as「不要放在心上」.

other than that, i’m not remembering any other specific scenes rn (if i remember smth, i’ll rb w the addition and @ you), but one thing that happens throughout the show is translation discrepancy when characters are addressing each other. for example, when wuxian and jiang cheng talk to yanli, the subtitles always have them both addressing her by name, but in chinese, family members often dont address each other by name, like my younger brothers both call me 姐 (jie), which means older sister. jiang cheng calls yanli 阿姐 (a-jie) most of the time (the 阿 at the beginning is just a prefix used in front of names and other forms of address to express familiarity, it’s the same character used in a-yuan). wuxian calls yanli 師姐 (shijie), which is what you call a senior female fellow student studying under the same master/in the same school/etc.

(rest under the cut bc this got rly long)

nie huaisang calls mingjue 大哥 (dage)/哥 (ge); 哥 means older brother and 大 means big, so 大哥 is often used for the eldest brother (esp common if there are multiple brothers). an interesting thing is that wangji does not call xichen 哥 or any variation of it, rather he calls him 兄長 (xiong zhang), which also means older brother but is a term of respect and much more formal, so that’s also a reflection of their characters and upbringing. 兄長 is not in common use nowadays but 哥 very much still is.

after nie mingjue, lan xichen, and jin guangyao take their oath of sworn brotherhood, they also change their forms of address with each other. for example, guangyao calls xichen 二哥 (er ge), which means second older brother (since xichen is the second oldest) and calls mingjue 大哥 (like huaisang does). (i feel like i vaguely remember guangyao being called 三弟 (san di), which means third younger brother, by someone but don’t remember if it was xichen or mingjue.)

(also impt to note that in chinese culture, familial terms as forms of address aren’t strictly reserved for family (whether that be blood or found). for example, in a casual setting, you can address any woman who is your parents’ age or between their age and your grandparents age as 阿姨 (a-yi) (or name + 阿姨), which is the term for your maternal aunt, and you can address any man of the same age range as 叔叔 (shu shu), which is what you’d call your paternal uncle. similarly in a familiar/casual setting, you can call women older than you but younger than your parents 姐姐/name + 姐, like the daughters, who are all younger than me, of my parents’ friends call me jessie jie-jie. and you can call men in the same age range 哥哥/name + 哥, like how wang yibo calls xiao zhan, zhan-ge. the same applies for people younger than you, with which you would use 妹妹, younger sister, and 弟弟, younger brother.)

another example is that jin guangshan calls jiang fengmian 江兄 (jiang xiong), 江being his family name ofc and 兄 meaning brother (same character as in 兄長, which wangji calls xichen), since they’re of the same age and status and their wives are sworn sisters. xichen, on the other hand, calls fengmian 江宗主 (jiang zong zhu), which means sect leader jiang. in the subtitles, these are often just translated as “you,” when they’re talking directly to him. 

so in general, there is a lot of information abt characters’ relationships, level of familiarity with each other, age, etc that is contained in their forms of address that just doesn’t come across in the netflix subs, since those default to their names like 80% of the time.

hope this helps!! if u (or anyone else) have other questions/scenes ur wondering abt, feel free to ask, i’m always down to talk translations. and if you want to see more of my beef w netflix subs a;lskjdf, all of my cql gifsets with dialogue on them have either been translated from scratch by me or i’ve edited the netflix translations, and i usually put some notes abt my translation in the tags. any sets that i’ve translated from scratch are under my translations tag, though most of these are actually for word of honor/shan he ling and not cql.

edit: check my reblog in the notes for some more additions!!

[olderthannetfic]

Full disclaimer, I'm a monolingual American from a privileged background (though I suspect that much would be pretty obvious frim reading).

I think part of the reason Americans always act like everything should be translated not just to English, but to American English is because up until very recently, almost everything WAS "translated" for us.

We Americans are so babied about language & culture, it's embarrassing. The Harry Potter books had to be "translated" because apparently we couldn't be trusted to figure out that a jumper was a sweater. I heard about an author of a true crime book just last year complaining about how "mum" had to be changed to "mom" for US release.

Then there's the American idea of exceptionalism which shows up not just as "we're the best, why would you want anything else?" but also as "wow, how weird are you for liking something that's FOREIGN?" At least when I was growing up, if you watched or read stuff in any other European language you're a snob. If you like anything from Asia you're a weirdo. (Of course, during my formative years, I was implicitly taught that Africa and South America did not produce any media worth consuming. If they had, clearly it would have been on TV because American TV had the best of everything /sarcasm)

Like when I got into anime in the 90s, Sailor Moon episode sequences had to be mirrored so american kids wouldn't get confused about the cars driving on the wrong side of the road, half the characters in anime were constantly eating "jelly donuts" because we apparently had no chance of comprehending rice balls. I was freaking astounded when Netflix started hosting K dramas with only subtitles, no dubs. Just the other week I was watching an anime that actually kept the honorifics in the dubbed version and my jaw dropped because I remember my friends and I (pre-speedy internet) trying to parse mysterious words like "chan" and "kun." My well educated and generally liberal father reacted to my announcement that I was going to study Japanese in college (10 years ago) by listing the war crimes committed by Japan in WW2 (tell me you have a white American dad without telling me you have a white American dad 🙄).

It's also the way foreign languages are taught in US schools. Not just the fact that we start late, but that it's rarely viewed as a priority. I distinctly remember thinking "why am I learning French? Even if I ever go to France I'm only gonna visit for like a week, definitely not enough to need a whole language." There was almost no effort made to explain that 1) there are other countries that speak French, 2) there are people IN THE US who speak French as a first language and 3) you'll have a much better time overseas if you don't come off as a dumb American tourist. Culture being tied to language was never addressed at all. And I went to a well funded private high school where half the teachers held PhDs with language teachers were native speakers. (Actually I think it was one of my French teachers who explained that we 15 year olds were too old to really learn a language successfully, so that's awesome)

Do not get me wrong, this is not an excuse for Americans being, ya know, American about language and cultural literacy. But this is not an easy mentality to shake and pointing it out to a lot of your fellow Americans will get you a rant about how ungrateful you are for "attacking" the best country in the world. Sometimes I look back on the kind of cultural censorship that is so damn prevalent even now and it gives me a headache because this whole country feels like a cult sometimes. I wish I could have studied language earlier in life, I wish I would have seen it as more than just a graduation requirement, and I wish I had the time to prioritize it now, but I didn't and I can't.

--

[wiypt-writes]

Murder, He Wrote

Part 1

Co-written with @southerngracela​

Summary: You’re sent by your asshole boss to do a review of a Celebrity Host Haunted Mansion, hosted by none-other than the arrogant, wild-eye browed actor Lucas Lee, but you’re worried you’ve missed the boat…that is, until at the last minute, an email arrives to say they can let you in on the last admission that night, which just happens to be Halloween… When you arrive, you’re actually kind of excited and intrigued…but it isn’t long until that excitement and intrigue give way to fear when you find yourself in a helpless situation.

Warnings: A creepy house, bad language words. MATURE (NSFW 18+) NON-CON situation, kidnap, violence. DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THOSE TRIGGER… READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

Pairing: DARK! Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N:  So this is a collaboration between myself and the wonderful @southerngracela​ for @jtargaryen18 ‘s  Haunted House 2020 challenge…and will be a mini-series, with an as of yet undefined number of chapters.

Once again READ THE WARNINGS!!!! This is a DARK Series… don’t @ us if you can’t follow simple instructions and end up with butt-hurt. And if you’re under 18…get off my blog.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and by writing it does NOT mean I agree with or condone the acts contained within. This fiction is classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar reader and any other OCs that may or may not be mentioned. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Murder, He Wrote Masterlist // Main Masterlist.

"Y/L/N," your dick editor poked his head into your office rather gruffly. "I'm gonna need that celebrity haunted mansion review on my desk by tomorrow morning. I want to run it ASAP.”

"I can't even get in, not even with a press pass, I've been trying for two weeks, Mick!” you looked at him, your mouth slightly open. You’d told him this countless times at morning briefings. You hadn't even heard back from the organizers about sneaking around the press pass issue and offering an exclusive on the joint, a small fact you kept Mick in the dark about.

"Make it happen." He said simply, before he turned and left.

You glared at his retreating form. What the fuck did he not understand about the situation? Mind you, what did he understand about anything? There was a reason everyone working for him called him Mick The Prick.

There was also a reason he was being extra prickish to you. Earlier in the spring time of the year you’d run an article on Ransom Drysdale- the stuck up, trust fund asshole who had literally gotten away with murder. He’d confessed to murdering his grandfather’s house keeper, attempting to murder his grandfather and then, in a violent showdown with 2 police officers and a private detective present, he’d attempted to murder his grandfather’s nurse, Marta. And he would have succeeded, except the knife he’d used had been a stage prop. It was like some fucked up Murder, She Wrote plot, and when you’d interviewed the real life Jessica Fletcher (in this case the rather charming PI named Benoit Blanc who’d been a character to say the least) it got even more confusing. Ransom had hired Blanc in some elaborate scheme to frame Marta for Harlan’s death to do her out of the inheritance via the Slayer Rule. That had back fired spectacularly when she had unwittingly switched back the vials of medication Drysdale had tampered with, meaning Harlan had truly committed suicide. 

The article was supposed to be done showing his side of the story, a way for him to set the record straight, but the more you’d dug and spoken to people surrounding the case, the more you were absolutely convinced of his guilt, not least because he’d been acquitted on the murder and attempted murder charges on technical grounds due to his confession being, allegedly, obtained under duress and without a brief being present. The only thing they’d managed to pin on him was the arson which had burnt the Chief Medical Examiner’s office to the ground, and when his brief had successfully argued mitigating circumstances- he wasn’t of sound mind given the shock surrounding him being cut from his grandfather’s will- he’d basically ended up being released on license.

It was a joke, and that was basically what your article had said. You’d written a scathing attack on how money could basically render you untouchable by the law, highlighting the failures of the Criminal Justice System. At the time, Mick the Prick had been delighted with it, publishing it under your suggested head line “Murder, He Wrote”- ha, go figure, and copies had flown off the shelves, the article online going viral.

And then money had talked once more, and the Drysdale’s had threatened to sue for defamation. That in itself was a joke, as you knew full well his mother, Linda, was only doing it to salvage her own reputation, the same reason she’d worked so hard to find a lawyer to get him off the charges despite the fact she knew full well he was guilty as sin. Mick The Prick had attempted to throw you under the bus spectacularly when the board had come looking for blood, but as editor the buck stopped with him, and he was given a formal warning whilst you were forced to publish a retraction and offer a written apology much to your utter chagrin.

Which was why he was now making your life as hard as possible, and your Investigative Journalism skills, that you’d honed over the last decade; from high school paper, college tribune and now your current employer, over the last 10 years or so since graduation were now being focussed on covering stories about housewives who found Jesus’ face in a slice of toast, or in this case a fucking Celebrity Host Halloween Haunted House review. Whereas you had dominated the first 2 pages once upon a time, you were now lucky if you made it further up than page 11.

With a groan you banged your head on your desk. Why had you not listened to your dad and become a damned teacher instead of a journalist. Dealing with snotty nosed brats would be easier than this.

By the end of your day, you were burning what felt like the midnight oil however it wasn't very late at all. Dark had settled in but it wasn't late by time. Just before you were to log off and leave for the night, a TV dinner and pint of mint chip waiting for you in your freezer (and probably a job search too seeing as you would no doubt be fired tomorrow morning for failing on your deadline) your email pinged on your desktop. You frowned at it, wondering who could possibly be emailing you this late but then you recognized the sender.

It was the reply you'd been waiting on from the organizers from the Celebrity Host Haunted House. Clicking the email open, your eyes scanned the message. The organizer was setting you up with a private tour, TONIGHT. "9 pm," you finished reading aloud, relief flooding your entire body. It meant a long assed, sleepless night whilst you wrote your article, but it was better than the looming threat of unemployment. Plus, on the upside, as it was a charity gig the organizer had pulled out the big guns and the blurb on the email told you that it was to feature none other than Lucas Lee, a once-upon-a-time famous A-List Movie star, who was possibly just as arrogant as Hugh Ransom Drysdale, but you had to give it to him, in the films you’d seen he was actually damned good, and also pretty hot so…every cloud.

Glancing at your clock, you had just enough time to clock out and grab a quick bite at a drive thru on your way. The location was nearly an hour outside the city so you needed to get gone and fast. A quick reply telling the organizer you were on your way was sent out and you grabbed your coat, pulling it on over your sweater dress and were gone. 

It took a good hour like you'd estimated and that was with stopping for a quick meal, to reach the address your GPS brought you to. It was creepy even at its first glance so you could only hope this payed off. With a quick swig of your watered down and flat fountain drink, you grabbed your bag and phone, exiting your vehicle and locking it shut. The cool night air bit at your exposed cheeks and you were glad you'd worn your coat and tights.

As you stood, gazing at the dilapidated house you shivered, as though, ice had replaced you spine. The walkway leading up to house was cracked, blood red roses grew wildly in thick batches by the gate and the moonlight cast a ghoulish glow on the house. Vines formed a twisted maze upon the side of the of the house's walls which showed the black decay of neglect, in between which splotches of original paint hinted at the house’s former prosperity. Cobwebs covered the corners of the doors, tiny black spiders threading towards their prey and you gave another shudder, as far as first impressions went, yeah, it was fitting for a Halloween Haunted House tour.  

Pulling out your phone, noticing you had no reception (of course you wouldn’t, wasn’t that the cliché?) you took a few photos to use in the article and then gave a little squeak as the door creaked open on its own. Arching your eyebrow slightly, in a manner very much like the man you were here to meet, you strode forward and into the house. Immediately a musty, dank odour crept into your nose. The house was deadly silent except for the intermittent creaks and moans typically associated with a property that age. Black and brown mold dotted the ceiling of the tall hallway you stood in and the windows that framed the door on either side were covered with grime and dirt meaning the calm moonlight struggled to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays, the main source of light being the open doorway. Sharp shadows roamed around the room and as your eyes adjusted to the dim light you noticed that there was a bright white envelope almost perched on the wooden table to the side of the hall. It was the newest thing in the room, so was obviously there for you.

You crossed over, the heels of your suede boots clicking loudly out in the silence of the hallway, and gently reached out for the envelope. A single word- Start- was written on the front in cursive, looping scrawl, very fitting for a spooky note. Another detail you committed to memory for your write up. You slid your finger into the crook of the envelope and slid it open. Inside was a small, white card, containing a message written in the same writing.

To ensure that you don’t become tomorrow’s big news, In this envelope you’ll find the first of 6 clues Of your super sleuth skills you should be proud, So make sure that you read your answers out loud. As one by one they lead to your ultimate demise. Which may or may not be a scary surprise…

Okay, now you were interested. This wasn’t just a walk through some scary assed, supposedly haunted house where Lucas Lee was no doubt set to jump out at you in some ridiculous disguise. This was a scavenger hunt, and your natural inquisitiveness was piqued. 'This could be fun', you thought as you reached for the next card that was in the envelope, reading the first clue. 

I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. I also give heat but, not enough to prevent cold

You pondered for a second, heat was leading you to think of a fire, and they certainly grew shorter with time, well eventually when they burnt out…but then again, the longer they went the hotter they got, and they certainly prevented the cold. Scanning the hallway for anything that might fit the description, your eyes flicked up to the ceiling which held an elaborate, but tarnished candelabra style chandelier. And then it hit you. Tall when young, short when old.

“Candle…” you spoke “The answer is Candle…”

At that the door leading to the outside slammed shut behind you, and you gave an involuntary scream as the dominant source of light was sealed off. You spun round to look at it, and then your scream turned in to a laugh as you shook your head, for an Investigative Reporter you prided yourselves on steely nerves but so far that was twice this adventure had caught you off guard.

Turning back round, you then spotted that the door at the end of the hall was open, and you could clearly make out a Jack-o-Lantern looking at you, the candle inside flickering. Its face was creepy, really creepy. The nose and eyes were harsh triangles and the grotesque, twisted smile it sported was constructed of sharp, jagged teeth. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone. You may have had no service, but the flashlight was working. Keeping the light held in front of you so you could watch your step on the cracked tiles of the hall, you made your way towards the lantern and found yourself in a large, run down kitchen. The lantern and your flash-light provided the only light in the room as the windows were all overshadowed by gnarly trees, their branches every so often scratching the glass as they swayed slightly in the wind outside. The only other sound to be heard was the drip, drip of the faucet in the porcelain Belfast sink. 

A closer look revealed the discoloration of the water, a brownish concoction as it swirled down the plug. There was an envelope on the side of the counter by the lantern and as you crossed towards it, a movement in your peripheral made you spin round only to see a lone mouse scuttling away across the dirty wooden floor. You placed your phone down, flash-light up causing it to light up an area of the Artex plaster ceiling, and picked up the envelope, tearing it open to find your next clue

Mr Jack-o-Lantern lights the night His eerie face is shining bright The ????? that shaped him lies around And holds your next clue safe and sound 

“Oh come on…” you muttered, “That’ ones obvious. Knife, the answer is knife…” You picked up your phone and shone it around the various surfaces of the kitchen and your eyes honed in on a wooden knife block containing a solitary knife. You crossed the room towards it and as you closed in on it, you noticed that the handle of the knife was an ornate silver filigree. It was no ordinary kitchen knife and as you pulled it form the block you realised it was in fact a dagger, antique by the looks of things. The blade was curved slightly, reaching a sharp point, the silver tarnished. But the more you looked at it, the more you suddenly became horribly aware that it wasn’t merely a dullness of colour at all. It was blood. 

“Dramatic…” you mumbled, and with a sigh you then realised there was no clue attached to it. Was this a distraction? A decoy? You were just about to stat ransacking drawers to find the actual knife you needed, when you glanced back at the block the dagger had been held in and noticed a flash of white peeking from underneath. Picking it up and moving it aside you smiled as you saw the same cursive writing, spelling out the word three. Seeing as you might as well play along, you used the dagger to slit the envelope open, tossing it back down on the counter as you read the next clue.

Many a Child on me they may play Any time be it night or day. My surface is hard, on it you can knock I have many keys, but can’t open a single lock…

“What has keys but doesn't open a lock?" You pondered aloud. Adjusting your cross-body strap, you sigh. Then the answer came to you, "a piano."

You fell silent, your mind racing to how the hell you were going to find a piano in this decrepit and yet enormous house. Then, your ears heard it. The subtle note from deep inside the house. It was a single key. But now that wasn't your concern, no, it wasn't the mice or the bugs or even the brown water. Your heart raced at the notion that someone was in fact in the house with you. 

"Alright, Lee, you were always one for a flare of the dramatics, let's see what you've got."

Step by step you followed the note that chimed every few steps and you found yourself beginning to wonder if it was a recording or if someone were really playing it, timing their play with the sound of your boots over the rotting floor. You wound your way through the narrow hall, ancient wall paper peeling from its tack, mastick and plaster falling away to reveal studs in places. 

Finally, to your left you heard the key loud and clear. It was in that room. Steeling yourself for a possible encounter, you carefully pushed the sliding door away from its hinge. Your booted feet traipsed across the brittle carpet, dust swirling in the air in front of your face. Cobwebs adorned many of the surfaces and there were dirty white sheets covering the various pieces of furniture in the room. Apart from, that is, the large ornate grand piano that sat in the middle of the room.

The stool in front of it suddenly jolted back and tilted toward you, making you scream at the  gracious invitation by an as of yet invisible host. 

“Get a grip Y/N” you mumbled to yourself. You were surprised to find just how much this place was starting to set your nerves on edge. You took a deep breath, the pounding of blood in your ears began to quiet and you took a look around the room. There was no one in there with you, you were alone.

With slow, deliberate steps you moved towards the piano, your eyes sweeping over the mahogany surface, searching for an envelope with the next clue, but there was none to be found. The surface of the piano was thick with dust and grime, but as you scanned over it you suddenly stopped. On one of the white keys the dust was disturbed, as if it had been wiped away and you instantly realised that had to be the key that your so far elusive host must have been playing. You paused, biting at the nail on your thumb of you right hand, before you reached out with your left and tapped the key. The melodic note rang around the room, clearly, echoing in the silence and for some reason you were taken back to a part of the article you had been thinking about earlier that day, and how Detective Blanc had told you that he had ‘played a key’ during the various family interviews ‘to make my point without interruption’. It didn’t pass you by how fitting that actually was at that moment but you didn’t have much time to reflect on it, as you heard a creak and a grinding noise and you spun to your left to see a panel in the wall sliding open. It made you jump slightly, but this time you didn’t scream. 

Not for the first time, you had to admire the effort Lucas was going to here. It was clear he had a flare for the dramatic, anyone could see that from his films and interviews but this was pretty damned good. It was making you wonder how he was doing it. Was he somewhere watching, pressing buttons to enact the various parts of his show? Instinctively you glanced up, looking for a camera or something you were being monitored by but you found no evidence of anything. 

“Well, in for a penny…” you muttered, crossing towards the small hatch. It was just wide enough for you to get your hand into, but you really didn’t want to. You grabbed your torch and shone it into the hole, finding nothing but the envelope so deciding it was safe you reached in and pulled it out.

Sometimes coloured, sometimes plain sometimes frosted, sometimes stain Be you short or thin, or fat or tall, this simple invention, lets you look right through a wall

You pondered for a moment, before the answer came to you. Fairly quickly you might add. Feeling a little smug you smiled and cleared your throat.

“Window. It’s a window.”

Usually, at that point, something happened to point your attention to the place you should be looking but this time, there was nothing. Instinctively you looked out of the one on the wall by the piano, but as you stared at nothing but the darkness outside you realised that was too obvious. Just then your ears picked up a sound you couldn’t quite figure out, but it was familiar all the same. And then it came to you, it was the familiar click and clack of a skateboard, the wheels gliding over the brittle old floor and you span round in the direction it was coming from to see a window you hadn’t noticed before, this one was an ornate, stained glass window which bore some kind of flower design that faced directly out into the hall. 

He passed by slower than a flash but just enough to allow you to catch only a glimpse. You audibly gasped, your breath coming in a sharp intake of fright, because until then you had been alone on this chase. But it appeared you dramatic host had finally come out to play. He was merely a shadow, bulky in frame, tall and dressed all in black as he moved past but it was enough to puzzle you. You didn’t remember Lucas being that broad, or tall. With a frown you ran into the hall to catch him but saw nothing, and heard nothing, the only thing to indicate he had been there was a faint smell of the cedar and amber of what you assumed to be cologne. 

You paced quickly down the hall in the direction the figure had gone but as you passed the stairwell the light flickered on, instantly attracting your attention. You’d only briefly noticed the ornate staircase before, but with the lack of light you certainly hadn’t noticed the writing on the wall, dripping in fresh paint. Swallowing, as you mouth suddenly felt dry with fear you stepped onto the first stair, and as soon as you did you were plunged into almost complete black. Letting out a shriek as, once again, he’d managed to get the drop on you, you shook your head and reached for your phone, taking another few steps up so you were level with the next clue which you read aloud.

“Tonight is not all fright and fear, a trick or treat is waiting near, the bedroom holds a sweet surprise, there solve the clue to claim your prize.” You bit your lip and looked up at the top of the stairs, wondering when someone was going to jump out at you. Taking a deep breath, you made your way up, cringing at each creak your feet caused on the old warped wood, but it didn’t sway your determination to make it to your destination. 

Halfway up, a shadow flickered at the corner of your vision at the top on the landing and you froze, your mouth going dry once more. As you stood there, shining your light into the dark you caught the same scent from moments ago lingering in the air only this time it was stronger, far more powerful and you were able to denote even more of the notes within. Alongside the amber and cedar your heightened senses picked up deep, earthy, sandalwood notes with a hint of citrus in the background.  And it was familiar for reasons beyond the fact you’d smelt it down stairs. But, as you’d surmised earlier, it was a cologne. Probably one worn by a few people you knew.

Yes that was it.

“Jesus Christ Y/N what has gotten into you?” You rolled your eyes and continued up the stairs, clearly your ‘Celebrity Host’ was once more nearby. 

You cautiously got to the top of the stairs and glanced around. Nothing. So turning to your left you entered the first room you found on the hall. It was empty bar a creepy looking doll that had been separated from its head which lay about a foot to the right. As you looked around the room, the wind intensified outside, the rustling of the leaves and branches became louder, as did the creaking of the house…and then you gulped, as you realised it wasn’t just the house that was creaking. In the corner of the room, the little chair had begun to rock, slowly. Blowing out a breath and shaking your head, you looked around at the thin strips of wallpaper which showed little trucks. Crayon markings scrambled upon the wall where wallpaper used to stick but other than that there was nothing in there bar some pretty good theatrics. You had to hand it to Lee, the creepy feel was fantastic and you were going to give him one hell of a write up for this. You took a while longer to take in the detail, smiling to yourself before you closed the door and headed to the one over the hallway. 

This room was a little lighter thanks to a lamp which stood on a nightstand. It wasn’t bright, by any means, but it was enough so that you could clearly see the bed in the middle of the room. And there, placed by the pillows was a thin box. On unsteady legs, you shuffled slowly towards the bed, the box before you making you quiver, your insides churning. A shaky hand tilted the lid open slowly, afraid something would pounce in a sneak attack. You shut your eyes ready to protect them in case a bat or bugs flew at you and when nothing happened, you opened them slowly and inspected the boxes contents. There was no envelope this time, just copy of a newspaper. Your newspaper. And you felt your blood run cold as you recognise the bold headline across the top. Murder, He Wrote: A twisted tale of Inheritance, Crime and Exoneration "Drysdale," you whispered in realization. But now, while you were well aware of what the article meant and who it was referring to, your brain shut down processing how on earth Lucas Lee and Ransom could possibly be connected. Your breathing deepened and you moved to pick up the article, but then the lid to the box caught your eye and you froze, for on the inside of the lid was another clue, only this one was a straight forward question which was spelled out using cut-out letters from the newspaper in question.

I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?

You froze, for the answer was simple. Breath. And that was it, you needed to get out. You started to back away from the bed, but before you had so much as made it 3 steps you collided with something hard. A forceful arm across your front pinned you to a firm and broad chest that engulfed your frame while a cloth with a distinct smell and cool moisture covered your airways.

"Surprise" The voice in your ear, calm, deep and known, was all you heard before nothing consumed you.  

*****

When Y/N went limp in his arms, Ransom laid her across the bed only leaving the room to hurriedly cover his tracks, blowing out candles and removing any trace of her that had been in the house. His time as his grandfather's research assistant gave him far more experience than it should have. When he returned to the bedroom she was still out cold but light as a feather as he carried her downstairs and out the back door to the awaiting SUV, smug that his plan had gone so well.

But then, didn’t everything for him? He was Ransom Drysdale, and he was fucking untouchable.

He drove away from the scene of his new crime towards the city, driving through the dead of night, on the beltway, and continued twenty minutes outside downtown Boston before pulling into the garage of a large red cedar and quartzite home. He killed the engine and closed the garage door, pulling Y/N from the seat she was slumped in when it was clear to do so.

He couldn't be seen, he wouldn't be seen. He carried her inside the spacious home, his boots tapping heavily against the dark marble floor of the kitchen and finally the lush carpeted staircase that wound down into the basement.

This is where he laid her, in the basement, on a bed, but not just any bed, the one that would now become hers. He adjusted the lighting in the space, low enough not to disturb her, but bright enough to give the room a glow so he could finish what he'd set out to do. In the shock of the struggle in the bedroom, she’d dropped her phone and he’d made sure to smash it long before he left the haunted house, making sure there'd be no device to track her. He'd already disposed of her car while she was playing his little game, every loose end as far as he could see was tied up.

And now she was all his. 

He brushed the hair away from Y/N’s face where it had fallen over her eyes.  With gloved hands he manoeuvred her undone, black woollen coat off her body, leaving her in the bottle green turtle neck sweater dress and thick tights she was wearing before he tossed it over the chair in the corner of the room and then undid the zips on her brown suede knee high boots. He dropped them to the floor, kicking them towards the same corner with the equal carelessness he’d shown her coat. With a final meticulous movement he rearranged her on the bed, so he’d appear more comfortable and just before he left the room, he wrapped the cool, metallic cuff around the ankle. It locked in place with a clink and with a final glance at her still unconscious form, he turned and exited the room, the door latching shut and with the snap of the deadbolt he locked her in.

*****

Your head pounded, your nose burned and your mouth felt dry with the faintest taste of something foul lingering as you swallowed. The light was low but still your eyes ached. You tried to decipher exactly what the hell had happened to you while you got your bearings. You tried to sit up but your body felt heavy, the soft bed you now realized you were lying on was not your own. Your breathing rapidly increased as you started to move in fear but a clink caused a screech to escape your throat. You felt the weight of the cuff around your ankle and a full panic set it.

Your night flashed quickly through your glutamate and adrenaline flooded brain

You remembered getting the email from the Haunted Mansion supposedly hosted by Lucas Lee. You had arrived and were sent on what you thought was a fun and exhilarating maze littered with clues and riddles and then you remembered the last piece of the puzzle. You gasped as you remembered how his breath felt hot on your skin and how his voice registered in your mind.

"Drysdale," you repeated the last word you had spoken in a shaky, frightful voice. "No."

Rage and fear collided in your chest as you screamed out the only thing you could think of, "HELP!" A strangled sound left your chest followed by another cry out for help, "Please, someone, HELP!" 

The door to your room, now coming into focus around you, flew open and there he stood, smug smirk, raging ocean blue eyes, hair neatly in place, dismantling frame clothed in a black sweater and dark denim, heavy footfalls sounding against the thick carpet under his feet. 

"Nice to see someone's awake," Ransom deadpanned.

You stared for a brief moment and screamed for help again, louder, and louder, and louder until you felt your voice crack and strain, your cords burning as the sound shattered away. 

"Are you done?" He cocked his head to the side and folded his arms across his chest as he stood firm and tall in front of the bed.

"What the hell are you doing? Why am I here?" It hurt to speak but you had to ask. 

“Because I want you here, Sweetheart.”

"I...I'm not, don't call me that," you spat defiantly as he moved closer, taking you in, his predatory eyes moving over your body. This was it, you were going to die all because some trust fund prick was a hurt baby about an article (that you forcibly apologized for) revealing the sick and sadistic truth about him, his family, money and the justice system. 

"Are you gonna kill me?” You watched him carefully as he crossed the room towards you, trying to keep your voice calm so as not to betray the utter fear that was coursing through your veins at the fact you were trapped, fuck knows where, shackled to a bed with a murderer being your captor. “That's what this is about, right? My apology wasn't enough?"

"Your apology was forced bullshit.” He responded, his voice carried a hint of amusement, because of course, this was all a game to him. “You smeared my name, dragged my reputation though the mud and you expected an apology like that, half assed and full of more crap than your original hatchet piece, to be enough?" He was standing damn near over you now, a hand moving up your leg that was held by the cuff, your body frozen in a confused silent argument of fight or flight.

"You... Killed... Him." You grit out through clenched teeth, and his hand was on your throat before you finished your breath, squeezing just enough to make a point.

"No. I. Didn't." He lied and you had to hand it to him, a lesser person might have bought the garbage he was talking, because he was good at it. Lying must have been enough of a second nature for him that he actually believed everything he said himself. But then again, it wasn't actually a lie was it? Sure, he'd planned on indirectly killing Harlan and that plan had backfired and Harlan had actually slit his own throat. So at most he was indirectly responsible for his death, but none of that had stuck with the prosecution and so now here he was, a free man.

A struggled chuckle came from your tightened throat, "Jesus Christ, you actually believe your own bull shit don't you?"

"You've got a fucking mouth on you," he breathed as his body loomed ominously over the bed and your frame, tiny in comparison to his.

You swallowed, feeling the hard lump strain to pass his grip, "Not really, you just don't like hearing the truth."

His eyes bored into yours and you struggled for breath as his hand constricted around your neck whilst he squeezed a little harder "Oh shut up Y/N."

"Or what, Hugh?" You croaked. 

A little flash of anger tore through his ocean blue eyes like lightning in a storm. His eyes bored into yours as you fought to swallow. 

"Or I'll shut you up myself."

"Try me, you son of a...." You didn't expect his lips to cover yours but they did. Unexpectedly warm and soft, despite the painfully harsh kiss. You managed to pull away but his hand still gripped at your throat and you felt the fear constricting your chest. But you were damned if you were going to show him a shred of weakness.

“You’re an asshole, Hugh…” It was all you had, the only thing you could use in your arsenal given your situation. You still had your voice. And you’d noticed that for whatever reason he appeared to hate that name.

“Don’t... fucking call me that!” his voice rose to a loud, angry instruction, apoplectic rage seeping from him to you, and it was almost stifling.

“Or what? You'll kill me?” your voice rose in both volume and pitch as your desperation began to show. “We both know you're gonna do that once you've fulfilled whatever sick, twisted little fantasy this is. What are you waiting for, Hugh? Huh?”

Ransom scoffed, "Kill you, no, see I'm gonna teach you a lesson. One about how money and status get you anything you want.”

You frowned, as you looked into his icy blue eyes, utterly confused “Anything you want? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You'll see Princess” was the sole explanation you got as he knelt between your legs.

You stayed stock still as large and surprisingly gentle hands trailed your curves up the outside of your thighs to your hips. As he reached the hem of your sweater dress he paused as you wrapped your hands around his wrists.

"Don't" you squeezed, attempting to stop his wrists and close your legs.

“This will be much easier if you just play-along, sweetheart” he muttered as he pressed his lips to your neck. You let go of his wrists and raised your hands, laying them over the wool of his cable knit, palms flat against the plain of muscle as you attempted to push him off.

“I said no.” you tried to keep your voice stern, despite the fact you were fighting back the fear and sadness at the realization of his task was now at hand. His large hands smoothed over your dress, cupping your breasts and he let out a moan as you bit back the bile in your throat that was threatening to spill from your mouth. You pushed harder trying to force him off of you but it was of no use, his broad frame caged you in, engulfing you under him.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.” He ground out, his lips inches from your ear as he nipped at your skin. He was impressively strong and balanced, his weight even through his body as he kept his knees between your legs, a hand against your breast and the other stroking your sides and up your thigh. All the while, his lips sucked at your neck, teeth grazing your pulse point as you turned your head away, tears filling your eyes

"Please, stop," you managed. "Hugh, stop!"

“I told you not to call me that.” He growled against your skin and pulled back, his eyes blazing as they locked on to yours. In sheer desperation, you managed to wrench a free hand from between you and gave him a slap, nails biting at his skin. Instantly you knew you’d pissed him off. His nostrils flared, his jaw set and as his eyes filled with fire and rage.

And you knew then, you were in for it.

“Bitch…” he snarled as he raised his left hand to his face where you had struck him, and then both his hands grabbed yours, yanking your arms up, pinning them above your head. You bucked upwards, violently in an attempt to shake him off, but it was futile. He was far too strong. His grip on your wrists grew tighter and despite yourself you let out a small whimper of fear.

In one hand he had the ability to cuff both of your wrists and he did so while his other grabbed at your dress, shoving it further up your body, fingers curling over the waist of your tights and panties, a handful of the material fisted in his palm. They wouldn't slide down quick enough and you felt your body lift away from the mattress slightly as he ripped away the material, the snap burning your skin. You fought, boy did you fight. You had no control of your hands or arms as he had them easily pinned, but your legs and the rest of your body gave as good as they could. You thrashed from side to side all the time screaming your objections. You drew your knees up to your chest in an attempt to buck him off. You screamed protests, threw every insult you had at him, but it was no use. He was simply too strong.

He didn't even bother with his belt or button, he just unzipped the flies on his jeans, pulled his solid cock free and slid in. You were wetter than you expected to be, but it still burned with friction and ached from the thick stretch against your tight walls. It hurt, definitely hurt.

"You know you want this. I know you want this." He rasped as he pulled out before thrusting back in, his face twisted in a look that was halfway between being smug and satisfied. Just looking at him made you feel sick but for some reason you were unable to look away as he continued his slow assault, before he picked up the pace slightly, his groans of satisfaction filling the room as he bottomed out, balls deep and it was at that point you closed your eyes and tried to block out what he was doing to you. But try as you might to remain mentally detached from the situation, your body was anything but. And the more he moved in and out of you, the more you could feel your physical reactions. You were powerless to stop them and the heat between your legs and in between your belly was spiking with each thrust into you.

It felt good. And you knew it shouldn’t. So you fought it, but eventually, you couldn't fight it anymore, not with  the way his thick cock filled you, velvety smooth skin sliding in and out of your defiant core. You didn't want to cum, but your body told your brain it was going to and Ransom nearly puffed his chest as he fucked you into your body's submission. 

"You're gonna fucking cum, aren't you, Sweetheart? I can feel it," he ground out, chasing his own release. You remained silent, breathing heavily as your insides coiled and tightened. "Fucking tight ass pussy," he gritted. You refused to cry out, not wanting to give him anything you were able not to, and it took everything you had to remain silent. In desperation, to quell the cry that was rising from your throat, you bit your tongue, tasting the coppery taste of blood in your mouth as you came hard around his cock.

“Fuck, yeah…see…” Ransom’s hips began to move faster, and then with a sudden movement he pulled out of you, making you wince involuntarily at the sting. He shot his load all over your thighs, a growl bubbling from his throat, the warmth of his release trickling down your leg made you feel even more dirty than you already did. 

“Not so fucking smart are we now, huh, miss Investigative Reporter…” his snap was snide, and childish, but you knew he couldn’t help himself. Your head remained defiantly in its position on the pillow, turned to the right, eyes focussed on a spot on the wall. “Look at me, bitch.”

When you didn’t do as he asked, he grabbed your chin bruisingly, making you wince as he pulled your face round so he could see you. You knew he would be able to see the tears on your face, and you hated that. Hated that he would see how much he’d hurt you, scared you even, 

His hand let go of your face and you stared at him, swallowing, trying to gather your voice in your painfully dry throat.

"That's all you got? You're a fucking child, Drysdale. It's why you’re doing this." You said, your voice trembling and croaking from the fear and exertion of what he had just put you through and you shook your head. “You’re a fucking man child with mommy and daddy issues. A spoilt, little whiney brat who can’t bear to be told no.”

That struck a nerve, you could tell, as his jaw clenched tight and his fists clenched around the sheets by your side to the point they were shaking. He grabbed your chin once more with his right hand and pinned your face still, forcing your eyes to look back at his 

“You'll be begging me to accept your apology.” He snarled, his face contorted in rage “You'll see who the whiney child is soon enough. I promise Princess, it's not me”

As you looked at him, you felt your anger starting to simmer. This fucking ass hole had just raped you, and he had the gall to be saying you were going to tell him that you were sorry. No chance in hell. You knew you were screwed, literally and figuratively. Whilst he had you captive behind a bolted door, shackled to a bed you had nowhere to go, he knew that you knew that too and you could see it in his face as a smug smirk flickered on his lips. Well fuck this, if you were going down it was with a fight. With a sudden movement, that caught him off guard you moved your head slightly as much as you could in his painful grip, and spat right in his face.

Ransom blinked, his anger morphing to shock, then back to fury once more as he released your face and with a flash of his hand he back handed you straight across the face. The blow to your right cheek snapped your head to the left, sucking the breath from your lungs and leaving you a little dazed.

“Fuck you.” He sneered as he rose to his feet, wiping his face. Silently he rearranged his pants, tucking his now soft cock back inside them, and swept from the room, locking the door behind him.

***** Ransom stormed up the steps to the kitchen of the house, slamming the top door behind him and bolting that one shut too. He was furious that little bitch had scratched him and no doubt marked his face. He strode over the marble tiles of the room and walked into the large hallway and across into the den. He made his way straight to the bar, poured himself a healthy measure of good scotch, slopping a little on the dark wooden counter, before he glanced up at the large mirrored surface of the bar behind the shelves.

He could make out three vivid red lines down his left cheek where she’d dug her nails into his flesh and his jaw clenched. His hair was out of place, his cheeks flushed and his normally cold eyes were blazing with anger. But as he stood there staring at his dishevelled reflection, he knew it wasn’t the fact she’d scratched or spat at him that was pissing him off so much. It was the fact she had persistently voiced a name he despised, one that was used to control those lower than him in his every-day life. One reserved for The Help, for outsiders. It reminded him of his family, of his mother and father, the two people in his life who should have loved him unconditionally but instead had him out of ‘duty’ and had taken every opportunity to pass him off into the care of others they could. It reminded him of Walt persistently telling him he was a no-one, that he would amount to nothing over than a trust-fund baby. 

It reminded him of Harlan. The one person in that entire fucked up patriarchy that had shown him an ounce of care. But who had screwed him over in the end. 

The anger that had been simmering inside him boiled over, the blood pumped into his ear and with an angry yell and an almost involuntary action Ransom hurled the glass tumbler straight at the wall where it smashed against the tasteful silver and white wallpaper, the 25 year old single malt trickling down the wall…just like the tears and trickled down Y/N’s cheeks as he’d forced her to look at him whilst he took what was his. 

As she’d glared up at him he’d noticed a fierceness in her eyes that he was surprised to find had unnerved him a little, because she clearly wasn’t going to be as easy to break as he thought. 

“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself, grabbing the bottle from the bar before he turned and left the room, taking a large swig as he went, the burn in his throat going someway to settling his nerves.

This would work out, because he was Ransom fucking Drysdale, a man who always got what he wanted in the end, and she was going to be no exception.

**** Part 2

[sainz-zayn]

Treacherous 01.

Treacherous (adj.)  guilty of or involving betrayal or deception.

Warnings: vulgar foreign language/ foul language, sexual and suggestive themes, betrayal/ betrayal between Johnjae, Illegal drug dealing, mention of blood and wounds, use of gun, smoking, mention of death/ murder, minor character death. This is my first time writing a kind of detailed smut and it`s badly written I`m sorry. I don`t know much about law but I tried since this is kind of Vincenzo au a little far from it but kind of like that and I`m amateur when it come`s to writing again I`m sorry. All Italian/foreign words came from google translate.

► Part 2

Word Count: 10.1k 

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.

"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another,"  you said letting out a sarcastic chortle.

 "Revenge, you said you want your revenge and I`m more than happy and dreadful to help you" his eyes are flaming and burning fire the beast inside him threatening to come out as anger forms and creeps inside him.

"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips. 

Takara Nakajima is one of the most corrupted Lawyers under Gongpyeong law firm has the dirtiest secret and dirt under their family`s name, the enemy of Ferrante`s. One of the cases you need to solve without any of your relatives knowing except for your one adopted cousin Johnny Jun Suh also distinguished as John Ivano Ferrante American/Korean, an Italian citizen.

"Where are you at 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" His lawyer asked pacing back in forth waiting for the employer to answer.

"Again I will ask you where are you at exactly 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" the lawyer questioned the employer again you can see that the employer is fidgeting his fingers and his eyes wandering the room one of the signs that he can be guilty.

"I-I`m home that night I didn`t do anything I didn`t put drugs in her drinks," the employer asserted.

"Objection your honor, Under sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 36 any person who dismisses a victim from employment or takes any other measure unfavorable to a victim, in violation of Article 8, shall be punished by imprisonment with labor. In the sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 8 No employer shall dismiss any victim or take any other unfavorable measure against him or her on the ground that he or she is the victim of sexual violence and this is what exactly what the employer doing now" you glance at the employer who is accused of doing sexual assault and attempted rape still contradicting what he has done.

"And let me ask one question please allow me your honor" you face the judge waiting for his approval.

"Let`s hear it" the judge simply said and you bow at him.

"No one, not even the police or anyone talks about you putting drugs on her drink, or perhaps you really did?" you ask the employer with anticipation waiting for him to reveal the truth and justice will be served.

"I didn`t, I said I didn`t! byeongsin saekki" the employer said and you glare at him for swearing.

"Your honor this footage from the witness will prove that he's guilty of the accusation that he`s getting" you fight back and you give the flash drive to them and insert it.

"Your honor we decline to accept this evidence!" the lawyer of the defendant said.

"It`s still evidence from the witness you have no choice," you said crossing your arms.

"Quiet! let`s watch the evidence" the judge proclaims making you all stop.

They watch the video of the girl being hauled in a dark place and how the employer does something very unpleasant and the video finishes again and now you still have the victory.

"Employer 5890 will be punished with imprisonment with labor for not more than three years" the judge announces and finalize it with the victim's family crying for winning the case. You walk out of the court with the cold aura you have going back to your office again.

"Congratulations Y/n or should I say, Chiara Allesandra Ferrante," the person said sarcastically you look at your mortal enemy worst of the worst Takara Nakajima daughter of Nakajima Hiroto owner of Nakajima Enterprises.

"Shut it Nakajima Takara" you rolled your eyes at her purposely bumping your shoulder to hers making her huff.

"Just accept it that you can`t win a single case without bribing the judge how pathetic of you Na.Ka.Ji.Ma" you emphasize her surname with a mocking tone making sure she heard it even though you`re not facing her.

"What did you just say? Apologize now!" Takara is a partner in the Gongpyeong law firm and one of the bossiest ones.

"Mi dispiace, patetico moccioso" you purposely said it since she`s Japanese and she won`t be able to understand that you say "I`m sorry you pathetic brat." you leave her with a teasing grin tainted in your lips.

"What did you just say!?" Takara said stomping her feet to the ground.

"Goodbye," you sing while walking away from her.

You open the door of your office startled by Johnny who is admiring your office, you promptly ran in his direction and hug him as tight as you could. Johnny Suh or John Ivano is not just someone who is adopted for you, you see him as an older brother and a best friend. He is one of the best lawyers in the country and also known worldwide, renowned, and acknowledge as John Ivano Ferrante. Raised by two Italian couples at the age of 3, his parents died in a car accident the cause is still not solved after years of striving for justice to be served. But there is one saying in the Ferrante clan; Never trust anybody because you can find faults and sin even in the most righteous person.

"Ivano!" you jumped to him making him carry you in his arms while you`re clinging to him like a koala.

"Johnny, just call me Johnny" he let out a breathy chortle removing you from his tight grasp shuffling your hair the height difference didn`t help at all.

"Don`t mess up my hair my hairstylist is not available right now, you know Ivano" you emphasize his name teasingly because he doesn`t like to be called Ivano in private unless you called him John.

"Then stop calling me Ivano I`m Johnny okay? want me to spell it out for you?" Johnny raised his eyebrows at you while crossing his arms.

"Fine, fine sorry" you grin at him and shove him off of your chair to sit in it comfortably.

"So? when did you come back? you should have told me you know" you rant at him opening your laptop to explicate to him the new plan that you two have been plotting for approximately 5 years.

"I just got here yesterday night, what`s with the change of plan?" Johnny asked, making his self comfortable on the couch in front of you.

" We can`t stick to the old plan it might affect the others if we continue it so I change it, here look" Johnny stood up from his seat to move to your table and check the new plan.

"Illegal drugs transaction to sexual attraction?" Johnny read it with a furrowed eyebrows analyzing all of the pictures.

"Yes, Nakajima has been selling and importing drugs tricking their clients to buy it by using sexual attraction it`s been going on since the 2000s there are 5 lawyers who fight for this case but Nakajima is always playing the game dirty" you explain to him solemnly, showing him different files and pictures.

"I did some research about them last week the drug dealing is still going on around, we`re still finding Tajimamori Yamamoto one of their oldest lawyer and the most trusted. In the year 1998 Tajimamori fight for the Nakajima case until in the year 2000, Tajimamori just suddenly disappear out of nowhere without any traces. He`s the ace card that we need to find" Johnny explains tapping his fingers on the table, eyebrows furrowed.

"We don`t have much time left, we need to finish this within 6 months we can`t afford to lose this time" you lean back to your chair pinching your nose bridge.

Once this case opens up and once you win the case the Nakajima will fall, Takara Nakajima, you better get ready.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," you said while clasping your hands together.

"Va servito freddo, that`s the spirit Y/n" Johnny smirk and so did you, without Johnny, this thing will be absurdity and nothing.

"Since you win a new case today lunch is on me c`mon let`s go," Johnny said and you take your purse and clung your arms to his, flashing him a bright smile.

Johnny drives into a nearby restaurant pulling up his car to the parking area when your phone opens by itself with a vibrate. Sign that someone is calling you, you look at Johnny and he nods at you as a gesture to answer the phone. He still didn`t turn off the ignition so you stay in the car and answer the phone.

"Hello? who is this?" you stated through the phone pretending that you don`t know the person calling you.

"Hi, I`m the Information hacker that you`ve called last week I just landed in Korea, can you tell me where I can meet you? I`m in your office right now." the person answered you playing along with your silly joke.

"Oh yeah, I`m in a nearby restaurant I`ll send you the address please feel free to join us for lunch," you said politely to the phone and ended it, you send the address and you go in with Johnny.

"Is that the Information hacker?" Johnny asked with a little off tone in his voice.

"Yeah, I invited him for lunch" you answered him and he only nodded.

"Ms. Ferrante?" you and Johnny heard someone called your name and you stood up from your sit to greet the person.

"It was nice to meet you" you greet him and he gives you a smile showing his whites pearly.

"The pleasure is mine," the guy said back and you smile at him.

"My name is..." the guy was about to Introduced himself when Johnny hastily cut him off.

"Ten Adriano Rossi" Johnny said while wiping his lips with a napkin.

"How did you know him?" you look at Johnny curiously, gesturing Ten to seat with a jaunty grin.

"Don`t you recognize him? he`s ten!" Johnny said calmly.

"Ten lee!?" you exclaimed acting like you don`t know him and he smiled at you opening his arms for you to hug him.

"I`m still here you know?" Johnny cleared his throat and rolled his eyes at you and Ten.

"Okay, okay no more funny business and let`s proceed to the plan," Ten said.

Johnny explained all of the new plans to Ten including the outline of the goals, objectives, measurements, action steps, and responsibilities for each step and negotiation.

"Here`s the information that you need about Tajimamori Yamamoto, he`s seen last week at Osaka and Tokyo and he soon flies to Toronto, Canada." Ten spoke and he settled the brown envelope on the table making sure no one is listening or looking at your conversation.

"Also, yesterday I was hacking the system of Nakajima enterprises but when this confidential file suddenly showed up, I think it`s the record of the money they have been Illegally pocketing," Ten said, sipping the coffee from the cup. The serious look never fading from his face.

"We should keep all of this evidence in a private place where we can easily find it but no one can, once we puzzled this informations and evidence we can open up the case against them with solid evidence that can make them fall," Johnny responded.

Get ready Nakajima the person who will destroy you is already plotting your worst nightmare, Il karma è un boomerang, il mio amato nemico; "karma is a boomerang, my beloved enemy."

Johnny and Ten excuses themselves for a minute to talk about something more private leaving you alone to clear your mind, when renjun`s number pops up on your phone screen. You didn`t answer it at first maybe he was just gonna ask you to buy something on your way home, it`s the 5th time he`s been calling you and it`s like he doesn`t want to stop until you answer. So, you finally answer the phone.

"Y/n!? what the fuck!? I`ve been calling you!" Renjun said through the phone the stress and nervousness in his voice are obvious.

"Watch your language Renjun, what is this time?" you asked him with a stern voice.

"Y/n, you need to get home we have a problem it`s hard to explain just go home right now okay?" Renjun said and he quickly cut the call.

You texted Johnny that you will go home first and he replied "Drive safe" that`s enough for you, you quickly drive to your home it`s a minute drive from the restaurant to home but you could care less how fast you`re driving right now. You know Renjun more than anyone, by just the tone of his voice you already know that something is off. Getting out of the car, you open the door of your house with Renjun behind Doyoung while pacing back and forth biting the tip of his finger.

"What`s going on!?" you asked them, sitting on the couch with heavy breathing.

"Doyoung, Hyung accidentally hack our own system, and the tax evasion record of Tremblay corp is locked and can`t be open" Renjun explained while Doyoung is fully focusing on the computer his finger tapping it so fast.

"What!? Kim Doyoung!" you said his name a little louder making him face you.

"Eojjeorago!? If Haechan is not being an ass and if he didn`t annoy me earlier I wouldn't have accidentally hacked our system!" Doyoung said, asking you what do you want him to do about it a little louder than yours.

"Geuraeso mwo!? I was telling you about the codes but you keep shoving me off!" Haechan fight back and Renjun and you sit there pinching your nose bridge in unison.

"Yah! you two come here now!" you exclaimed a little higher and louder than usual, the two of them stand in front of you and you stood up from your sit grabbing your handbag. At first, you calmly smile at them before hitting them lightly with your bag making them ran away and you chase them.

"Kim Doyoung! Lee Haechan! get your ass in here!" you yelled at them and their playful laugh is only what you heard.

"Y/n, calm down!" Renjun yelled while the three of you, Doyoung, and Haechan is running around the living room.

"Wait, let me explain okay!? Mianhe" Doyoung stops running holding his hands to his chest breathing heavily with Haechan. While Renjun is just standing there his hands resting on his hips stifling his laughter.

"Fine! and you two Johnny and Ten!" you glare at them, Johnny gulps and so did Ten awkwardly scratching their neck.

"You said that you`re just gonna talk in private but why are you two here!?  you two went here first leaving me there!" you grab the pillow and throw it at them luckily they dodge it.

"Now explain" you sat back on the couch a sigh escaping your lips while rubbing your temple softly.

Doyoung explained everything about the system and how he can claim it back in just a few minutes and that`s enough to ease your worries. Of course, you trust Doyoung so much he`s like your sibling but losing all of the confidential files is different.

"Yun-o, this is the information we gathered about Chiara Allesandra Ferrante she`s also known as Y/n," Yuta said and he leaves the office when another person enters the door.

"Stop investigating her, you will get nothing" Johnny glares at Yun-o who is peacefully sipping the wine.

"Why? is it because she`s your cousin or maybe something else?" Yun-o dropped the envelope on the table chuckling at his response at Johnny.

"Stop putting any malice about me being protective to her will you? Jaehyun il ragazzo innamorato" Johnny tease him by calling him il ragazzo innamorato;"The lover boy"

"Well, stai zitto Ivano" Jaehyun tease back making Johnny glared at him again. stai zitto Ivano; "Shut up Ivano"

Jaehyun or Yun-o owner of Neo tech enterprises, one of the most successful men in South Korea, a pile of girls ready to get in his pants and ready to risk everything just for him. Jaehyun has a visual like Goddess if you`re gonna describe perfection many will use him as an example. Looks, style, professionalism, maturity you can see it all in him.

"I`m warning you Jaehyun," Johnny said seriously taking another sip of wine from his glass.

"I won`t do anything I swear" Jaehyun patted his best friend's shoulder going back to his seat.

"How`s the branch in New york going?" Jaehyun brought up the conversation about their joint company.

"It`s doing good, nothing bad so far but we might get ready we don`t know what will happen. I guess you know what I`m talking about since you`re investigating Y/n" Johnny responded, leaning to his seat with eyes shut. A lot is going on in his mind these days, and half of it is you.

"Well, we are well prepared for that. Just tell me whenever you need my help and by the way, I met Mr. Tremblay last week he seems like he`s in a hurry so we don`t have much time to talk" Jaehyun said staring into a space in his room going deep in his thoughts.

"Yeah, and I heard that his son is hitting on Y/n, his son is an amateur piece of shit," Johnny said letting out a "tsk" gulping down the wine he's drinking making Jaehyun sneer at Johnny.

"Jealousy, dude" Jaehyun tantalized.

"Shut up!" Johnny groaned.

"Ms. Ferrante you need to go with us!" The door of your office suddenly opens with a loud bang making you jolt in your sit and so did Kun.

"What!? this is absurd" Kun defended you holding your wrist preventing the officer from dragging you away.

"No, Kun it`s okay just call Johnny it`ll be fine," you said calmly before grabbing your bag, the police officer assisting you to follow them.

"I`ll come with you," Kun said keeping up with your pace of the walk.

Everyone outside the building is looking at you, sparing you one glance whispering to their partner's ears. Is gossiping a new trend now? it`s funny how people will talk about you and judge you easily when you just show them the part of you that you want them to see and they will act like they know the whole story of your life.

Arriving at the station the officer asked you to sit down so the interview will start.

"We`ll go straight to the point Ms. Ferrante, someone pointed out that you have been selling drugs and there`s one found in your car yesterday. We can finish this up if you cooperated with us" the police interrogated you, showing the evidence.

"I don`t sell drugs, I don`t do drugs, I never keep one," you said rolling your eyes.

"Then what is this then? a laundry powder?" the police ask sarcastically.

"Guarda, I`m not here so just you can tell and ask your not so lame jokes I said what I said, and can I possibly know who reported this bullshit?" you ask squinting your eyes at the officer, you`re not really like this but since you`re stress and for a woman who has a lot of works to do. This interview is a burden.

"Pick up, pick up, fucking pick up!" Kun grew impatient when Johnny is not answering his calls and messages after trying and trying Johnny finally answered the phone.

"Kun take it easy I`m with Jaehyun right now" and Johnny can feel that Kun has an irritated emotion written on his face right now.

"Yeah, you`re with Jaehyun right now while Y/n and I are in the police station right now uhuh," Kun said.

"Come here right now we need you" and then he ends the call waiting outside until the interview ends.

Hours have passed and the interrogating is still going on and Kun is still waiting for you. Johnny finally arrived, fixing the suit that he`s wearing he asked Kun where you are and he assists Johnny inside.

"John Ivano Ferrante, I`m Y/n`s lawyer," Johnny said full of professionalism.

They settled the problem after almost another 1 hour they finally let you leave. Out of curiosity and frustration wondering who decided to frame you. Of course, Takara is one of the options but maybe there is someone else.

"Can I ask who reported me?" letting out a hiss you ask the officer that arrested you.

"No" the officer simply responded to your question and Johnny holds your right arms. Johnny and you are ready to leave but you still want to know who it is so you turn around again.

"won`t you really gonna tell me?" you ask one more time and that`s enough for Johnny to drag you along with him.

"C`mon let`s go" Johnny drag you along with him but you keep removing his grip.

"One last question, please?" you look at Johnny with puppy eyes but it didn`t work so you stop it and stand straight walking out by yourself but before that, you punch his arms lightly enough for him to hold his arms before walking out.

"I hate you" and Johnny only smiles at himself like a fool before following you outside.

You walk outside and took a deep breath, you look for Kun only to see him leaning in Johnny`s car. You walk to him and he smiles at you.

"Thank you," you said at him.

"Kun, can you drive Y/n home for me? I gotta go somewhere," Johnny said giving Kun the key car. Sparing you a glance but you didn`t bother looking at him back, as if he`s not in front of you.

You go home with Kun the two of you use Johnny`s car and you`re worried about him you really do. The rain keeps pouring and it`s getting darker, more hours pass and you grew more worried the rain is getting heavy. You`re thinking how Johnny will get home in this weather, you lean your head against the windowpane the raindrops sliding outside of the pane when you see a glimpse of a familiar figure.

You ran downstairs as fast as you could grabbing a soft towel with you before opening the door. It`s Johnny, Johnny is soaked wet his hair sticking out in every direction possible, a cut in the lips, and bleeding knuckles. You look up at him with worried eyes and he smiled at you. You don`t know what to say but your next action makes him feel at ease, you hug him your chest touching his. The skin contact that makes him feel comfort.

"What happened?" you asked, you don`t know why you are tearing up when he`s the one in pain. He caressed your face softly and he still didn`t say anything. You invited him inside because it`s his home too. You hold his wrist guiding him in one of the rooms, you don`t know if it`s your room but you could care less until you put an ointment and bandage in his wounds. You make Johnny sit on the bed and handed him a towel while you go in the bathroom to get the things you needed.

You slowly applied the ointment on Johnny`s lips where the cut is while your hands are slightly shaking, not minding the tears that are brimming out of your eyes. You next hold his hands to yours softly and more tear brim in your eyes, you`re so weak when it comes to Johnny and you don`t know what to feel about it.

"I-I`ll do it," Johnny said removing his hands from yours before you grab it again.

"No! I`ll do it!" you said through your sobs, wiping your tears away.

"I can do..." you didn`t let Johnny what he was about to say because you know what it is.

"No! I`ll do it, you said you`re just gonna go somewhere but why do you have this cut and wounds in your body!? I hate it!" you said letting it out as your sobs get louder and Johnny only stayed silent. You covered his knuckles with a bandage softly while he let out a loud hiss.

"You`re strong but why do you let your body take all of this!? you know I hate it when something like this happens to you" you exclaimed tears are still falling from your eyes, you touch the cut on his lips again making him hiss.

The two of you stare at each other for a brief moment and Johnny brushes away the strands of hair that are covering your face when your emotion took over you. Your lips landed on his soft ones with your eyes closed he didn`t kiss back, you`re about to pull away when he holds your nape kissing you back. The two of you stay like that for a fleeting moment.

The two of you pulled away forehead resting on one another when the bedsheet cover suddenly moves revealing Ten with a teasing grin making you pull away from Johnny.

"Is it necessary to make out in my room?" Ten asked still wearing the annoying teasing grin on his face.

"S-shut up!" you said and you walk out of the room leaving Johnny and Ten alone.

"How is it?" Ten didn`t stop teasing Johnny so he grabs the pillow and throws it at ten softly before plopping down at the bed letting his body sink in it.

You open the door of your room and you straightly go to your bed burying your face at the pillow out of embarrassment, tossing around the bed messing it up.

"Did you just kiss your cousin? did you just kiss Johnny Suh? It`s okay, right? the two of us are not blood-related anyways so nothing to worry about yes? no?" burying your face on the pillow once again letting out a muffled scream.

The boys decided to have dinner all at once at home so they ordered food for all of you they start calling you, you just keep answering "Okay" so they decided to stop when your stomach makes a grumbling noise. You open the door of your room only to see Johnny`s fist in the air may be to knock? and you look down.

"A-about earlier" you`re about to apologize to Johnny when he cuts you off.

"It`s okay don`t flutter yourself," Johnny said with a smile and you go downstairs with him.

"Don`t Flutter? who said I`m fluttering myself!?" you scoffed and walk past him closing your eyes for a moment from embarrassment.

"Hey, wait up!" Johnny said grabbing your shoulders.

"Let me walk with you" he added.

The rest of you gathered in the dining room. Laughter, warmth, comfort, are filling up the whole room. Oh, gosh you know how much you miss this after almost a year of not being complete you on the times where you only have Renjun, Jaemin, and Haechan besides you.

"This pizza tastes delicious don`t you think so?" you nodded and giggled, your cheeks stuffed with pizza. All of you are laughing that you didn`t even realize who`s the person beside you, you stay silent for a moment before y`all turn your head once again to the person beside you.

"Mark Lee!" you exclaimed locking him with a tight hug.

"Dude, I can`t breath," Mark said tapping your back lightly and you back away.

"Sorry I got carried away" you beam at him and every one of them hugs him what a beautiful and pleasant event.  

"Announcement! we`re all having a party tomorrow so don`t miss out, I`ll tell y`all the location" Mark happily announced, and y`all cheered stuffing your mouth with food.

You excuse yourself to talk with Mark in private, the two of you sat in the living room looking around before proceeding to talk. Mark looks at you with confused eyes.

"So, what`s going on with Mr. Tremblay?" You asked Mark and now he finally understands.

"About that, he`s company is not doing well plus his son keeps asking me about you that I can`t even go on with a day without him asking me things about you since I sign a partnership with them," Mark answered with a sigh before pulling you into a hug and you rest your head to his arms.

"Is Takara invited to the party?" you ask him while you stare at the ceiling and he plays with your hair.

"Yes, she`s Invited" Mark simply responded.

"Can I ask you a favor for tomorrow?" you asked while looking back up at him.

"Sure, what is it?" you smiled at him for agreeing at first he didn`t buy the idea but there`s no way he can say no to you.

"Thank you, Mark!" you cheered.

"Papà! you should`ve decline! out of all people why Takara!?" you barged in your father`s office throwing a tantrum as soon as you go face to face with him.

"Don`t raise voice at me Y/n! I`m still your father" your father defends which makes you more frustrated.

"Papà! you know that we can`t have any connection with them when it comes to running a company! this might ruin my plan why did you let them sign the contract!" you can`t help but raise your voice frustration is creeping inside you and you can`t help but let it out.

"Trust me Y/n this will help you sooner or later you will realize it," your father said. How can he be so calm when you`re out here in front of him letting your frustration out.

"Cazzo! this is ridiculous!" you fight back.

"Watch your language Y/n!" you had enough and you don`t think you can go on with this conversation.

"I`m done okay? I`m done!" you left your father`s office angrily closing the door walking fast not caring if anyone is looking.

Your father just makes a contract of partnership with Nakajima`s that makes you infuriated early in the morning. How can he sign an agreement with them?

"Did I just mention the plan to my father!? No, don`t worry Y/n he won`t get it" you talk to yourself taking a deep breath before entering your car, you called Johnny and tell him to meet you in your office in an hour.

"Why did you call me here?" Johnny asked while leaning in the doorway.

"Nice timing let`s go and help me find a dress to wear" you dragged him with you.

Johnny keeps whining about how you can ask for Wendy`s help but you keep shutting him from talking, you tried so many dresses and he keeps saying no which makes you pissed off. You choose a dress a long one and a short one for an option you bought it, it was color red you choose the long one with a deep sidecut that shows the skin of your legs.

Arriving at the party it`s fabulous and it`s full of people around your age mid-20s and the ones in their 20s you spend the whole night drinking when this beautiful handsome man approaches you.

"Pleasure to meet you I`m Jung Jaehyun," He said offering his hands for you to shake it.

"Ciara Allessandra Ferrante but I`m more comfortable being called Y/n plus don`t act dumb I know you. I`m not a fool I know you hire someone to follow me and investigate me, I know by this time you know all of my plans but don`t worry I know you're trustworthy, and you`re friends with my friends." you took his hands to yours and you gladly shake it.

"Jaehyun? I`ve been looking for you" you heard a familiar voice and you`re completely sure it`s Johnny.

"Chill," Jaehyun said with a smile.

"Ciao Y/n I hope you will like my April fools surprise," she said slipping away the wine your holding.

Takara already left and the whole place gets full and crowded with businessmen, suddenly everyone becomes quiet when the news starts playing.

"Breaking news the well-known CEO and Founder of Phoenix corporation have been found dead at exactly 8:30 PM in his house there`s still no answer what is the cause of death" everyone gasp and you can feel a tear escaping your eyes.

"Papà, this is not real!" you said and you walk out of the party going to your dad but Johnny prevented you from doing so.

"Let go!" you said removing his grasp and he holds you tight to his embrace.

"Your father asked me a favor to not make you see him, he wants you to see him when he`s in the coffin" you didn`t hug him back but you keep crying.

"He`s still my father Johnny I want to see him!" you fight back pushing him through his chest but he won't budge. Of course, he`s stronger than you.

"Let`s go home tomorrow you`ll see him" Johnny whispered at you and you can see Jaehyun looking at you with pity in his eyes.

"You!" you point at Jaehyun.

"Me?" he answered.

"Yes, you who else?" you talk.

"I want you to join us I know that`s your whole point of investigating me anyway," you said sternly and they all look at you.

"What?" you rolled your eyes at them.

"Tomorrow we have something to do, we`ll make our first move of the plan starting tomorrow I can`t tolerate this anymore after what Nakajimas do to my father.

You throw the glass of wine you`re holding in the wall staining it red, your hands holding tight the table with fire eyes in your eyes throwing daggers anger, guilt, and sorrow that`s all you can feel right now.

"It`s hard to enter that place unless you`re a guess they will let you in mostly couples. So, we need you and Jaehyun to pretend like the two of you are a couple" Jeno spoke you`re about to complain but Johnny already did.

"Couple!? them!?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, anything wrong with that?" Jeno questioned.

"Nothing" he responded almost whining.

The whole planning already finishes and you`re in your room with Johnny laying in your bed comfortably tossing around.

"I don`t get it out of all people in this house why you and Jaehyun?" Johnny complains while you dry your hair.

"There`s nothing wrong with that plus I think Jaehyun kinda look handsome" you try to test the water and how he would react.

"Yeah, right whatever do whatever you want"  Johnny rolled his eyes and you giggled at his response.

"Jealous now are we?" you teased.

"Me Jealous? no way" he said facing the other side of the bed.

"How about we date? I mean it`s not like we`re blood-related we can easily cut ties and we can announce it for the world to know after we make the Nakajimas fall. Sounds good yeah? no?" you ask him seriously and he faces you.

"Really? like for real? but I`m 2 years older than you thought" he said caressing your face softly.

"It`s not like we have a big age gap, why don`t we try it?" you talked scooting closer to him.

"I don`t see why not?" he replied and you smiled at him.

"Does this mean we`re official?" Johnny asks you.

"Yes, baby," you said teasingly.

"Call me that again," he said back.

"No way" you replied and he hugs you, you spend the whole night with Johnny and the two of you surely have fun. It`s doing okay until Kun decided to barge in your room without even knocking.

"We found Tajimamori Yamamoto he`s currently in Tokyo right now, Johnny we need to fly to Tokyo this might be the last chance that we have to find him," Kun said showing the taken picture of Tajimamori leaving his car.

"We`ll fly tomorrow morning we need Jungwoo to come with us, get everything ready" Johnny responds as you stay quiet.

"Go and pack your things, Kun I`ll book you a flight" you talk and Johnny looks at you before standing up.

"I`ll help you pack your things" you added and he gave you a peck on the lips.

"How many days do you think you will stay there?" you ask him.

"For at least 5 days or 7," he answered.

"Take care make sure you come back without any scars I don`t want to lose you like my dad" you softly said, caressing his face to your hands.

You helped Johnny pack his things and you already book them a flight that will leave tomorrow morning. You slept in Johnny`s room and you make sure to embrace him because you can`t see him personally for at least 5 days or 7.

You wake up without Johnny by your side instead you wake up with Doyoung and Haechan bickering outside the room door, you tried to cover your ears with the pillow but you decided that it`ll be better if you stand up and stop them.

"Finally you wake up! go and take a bath we have a lot of things to do today" Ten said pushing you to your room as you watch the house gets chaotic every second.

"Tax evasion, Illegal drug dealing, murder, sexual assault. We can sue them by using this plus we have Tajimamori as a witness" you explain, gripping the marker your holding too hard that it makes your palms white.

"I can`t hack the system of Nakajima the file that holds their tax evasion can`t be open I need to be somewhere close to them," Ten said along with Doyoung, all of you think of a way to hack their system.

"Tremblay, Tremblay corp! we can enter Mr. Tremblay's office easily since he`s in Canada I heard that he will be back this Saturday. Mark, you can help us right? you're the only one who is closest to him" you talk as you wait for Mark`s answer.

"Yes, that`ll be easy since his secretary knows me. After that, we can finally file the case and go on, but the only problem is that Jungwoo texted me that they`re having a hard time since they land in Japan. Tajimamori seems to notice that they`re following him" Mark let out a sigh and so did you.

"Can we stop this for a moment there`s nothing but a problem here since I arrived," Mark said which makes you slightly offended at his statement?

"What did you just say?" you asked him with a stern voice.

"Look, Im tired okay?" Mark groaned.

"Neither am I but did you ever hear me complain!?" you fight back.

"Everything is not about you! not everything revolves around you so please if you don`t mind I`ll excuse myself for a moment" Mark leaves the room frustrated, he doesn`t know what`s wrong with him but he knows it`s wrong to let out his anger and frustration at you when you feel just the same way as him. He`s not been himself this fast few days because of what happened to your late father who treats him like he is his own son.

"Y`all can rest if you want, you can leave too if you want to, just say it you all know that I`m not forcing y`all into this," you speak softly before leaving the room with a small smile but deep inside you`re hurt.

You took a deep breath after leaving the room you saw Mark in the living room, you tried avoiding his gaze scared that he`s still not in the mood to talk. He`s watching the TV and you stop in your track when you heard the news, you look at the TV and you can see Wendy`s house and they blurred the body, you know it`s Wendy just by the body you know it`s her out of all people why does the world decide to be cruel to you.

"No, no, not her please tell me it`s not her" you broke down in tears as Mark catches you in his arms, you fell to your knees as your sobs et louder while Mark tries to comfort you. Jaehyun watch what`s happening in front of him, he does feel bad for you. You ran upstairs and grab your keys going outside with others trying to prevent you from leaving.

"Y/n, stop!" Mark`s hold your wrist while you look at him with teary eyes.

"No, Mark I have to see my best friend please, please let go" you remove his grip and he stays quiet as he watches your small figure enter your car.

You arrived at the hospital where you see your best friend's cold and pale body.

"How can they be so heinous!? why do they have to kill you!?" you cry in front of your best friend`s lifeless body.

"Just let it out" you look at the person beside you and it`s Jaehyun, did he follow you? you wiped your tears away standing back up.

"Why did you follow me?" you asked.

"Because you`re not in the right condition right now and I know there`s a lot more going on in your minds" you look at him, his side profile is surely attractive and also comforting.

"Thank you Jaehyun I know I just met you personally last week but I mean it" you spoke softly and he smiled, facing you, he holds you by your shoulders crouching down a little making an eye to eye level.

"It`s okay, I know you for a year now because of the investigation thingy I hope that doesn`t make you uncomfortable that I brought that up," He said showing his attractive smile.

"Forget about the couple thingy that we have to pretend I already talk to Mark, just like what he said earlier we can easily enter Mr. Tremblay`s office so try to worry less okay?" Jaehyun tries to comfort you as much as he can. The two of you go around the town making you forget about everything, you wish you can be with Johnny at a time like this but you know he`s in Japan.

Three days have passed and you grew closer with Jaehyun, you expect Johnny to arrive tonight because they finally persuade Tajimamori to be the witness.

It`s past midnight and still no sign of Johnny so you decided to wait a little more until you just decided to go to bed and welcome him tomorrow morning.

"Babe? baby wake up" you slightly open your eyes because you feel someone poking your cheeks, your eyes are still blurry so can`t see the person clearly.

"Johnny?" you whispered.

"Yeah, it`s me sorry for waking you up I just need to hear your voice" you smile at his sweetness before going back to sleep.

"Go inside I`ll wait here," Mark said, looking left to the right to check if anyone sees you and Jaehyun entering.

"Doyoung, Ten? we`re in" you said connecting the device they gave you to the pc. They started doing what they have to do as you watch closely when you can feel the cold metal in your neck.

"Jaehyun, what are you doing?" freezing at your position.

"Nothing, it`s just so funny how you trust me so easily Y/n" He let out a chortle.

"What do you really want?" you question with your eyes close.

"I`m the one who should ask you that, you said you want revenge but your revenge is too boring why don`t we spice it up a bit hmm?" Jaehyun spoke while you stay still.

"What do you want me to do then? Kill Takara?" you don`t where you get that kind of braveness because these days you`ve been down.

"Exactly, how about we do that just the two of us?" Jaehyun removes the blade that threatening to cut your skin.

Doyoung and Ten finish what they`re doing and you leave the building along with Mark, everyone that there`s something very different from how you`re acting since you leave the building but they didn`t mention it.

"Make sure to keep your promise" you whispered at Jaehyun.

"I love you" Johnny whispered at you.

"I love you too," you said back.

"I want the world to know that you`re mine, you want that too baby?" Johnny said kissing your neck, softly marking you.

"Johnny please," you said with temptation in your voice.

"Please what baby?" Johnny asked you with a seductive voice.

"I want you inside me, I want you to touch me and make me feel so good" you whine making him let out a breathy chuckle at your eagerness.

"Will do princess" he answered.

That night you and Johnny take your time with feeling each other as if there`s no tomorrow for it.

After that night you have been very distant to Johnny and almost everyone in the house can perceive it. You want to distance yourself because you don`t want him to be hurt so it`ll be better this way, it`s better this way. You keep convincing your day every single day that almost every day you argue with him because that`s the only way you can push him away, you want him not to love you anymore.

Today you saw Johnny with a girl and you can`t help but get jealous but what can you do? he`s still your boyfriend. Of course, you will get jealous but why now when you`re pushing him away.

"I told you already she`s an old colleague! nothing more!" Johnny said with a pissed voice.

"Yeah right, an old colleague who loves touching you did you even see yourself earlier you just let her!" you fight back with a loud voice that the boys outside can hear the two of you arguing.

"What kind of boyfriend do that!?" you continued.

"Woah, then what kind of girlfriend accused his own boyfriend of cheating when it`s not even real!" Johnny retorted making you quiet because it`s true and you don`t have anything about that.

"See? I`m right you keep pushing me off! you can`t even look me in the eyes these days and it`s making me sick, thinking what I have done to make you act like this. It`s so fucking tiring!" he retorted as he slammed the door when he leaves your room.

Everyone keeps themselves busy as if they never heard the argument between you and Johnny. Yes, they`re shocked about the relationship between you and him but it`s not their business to interfere.

You cry yourself to sleep while Johnny gets drunk to sleep, tomorrow is the day where you`re gonna meet up with Jaehyun in the place where the two of you talked about.

"I don`t get it! she keeps pushing me away and it hurts! do you know what I`m fucking saying Jaehyun!?" He said drinking beer to beer nonstop as Jaehyun watch his friend get drunk not even stopping him but why?

"Just give her some time maybe she`s tired" Jaehyun responded.

"I always do that but why is it not enough!?" Johnny cried out.

"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another," you said letting out a sarcastic chortle. 

"Revenge, you said you want your revenge and I`m more than happy and dreadful to help you" his eyes are flaming and burning fire the beast inside him threatening to come out as anger forms and creeps inside him.

"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips. 

"You drag me into this, this heinous sin that you`ve started is burning inside me. Now, everything doesn`t satisfy me anymore" you yelled the tension getting thicker and thicker. 

"Even though you`re gonna kill me you will get nothing, justice is in my palms in this accursed world," Takara intruded your arguing with Jaehyun, writhing her tied body on the chair. 

"Kill me!" Takara said shooting you a bloodshot glare that only makes your enjoyment alive as you slowly walk towards her with a gun in your hand. 

"Takara, Takara, Takara, you see this? this Russian pistol is what I`m going to use to kill you so don`t try me. Now, what part of your body should I shoot first? back of the head, chest, or maybe your mouth it`ll be more enjoyable that way honey. Oh, another idea maybe I should just strangle you to death" you give her face a few taps on her cheeks the leer in your eyes never leaving hers while she hitches her breath scared that any minute you can pull the trigger on her. 

"You have no conscience, do you?" Takara spoke again with a smirk forming on her lips making you more annoyed and tempted to kill her. 

"Of course I don`t, because you know what? It`s a pity the law doesn`t allow me to be merciful that`s what Javert said in Les Miserables and that`s literally me right now you Figlio di puttana!" you cursed breathily giving her a devilish grin making her slap you with her one free hand holding your face you glare at her, anger building up inside you. 

"Merde! do that again and I`ll kill you!" you hold her side to side eyes widening but Takara only laughs at you and you slap her too before you turn your back at her. 

"fuzakeru na! kill me so you can live longer and live in sorrow, happiness doesn`t exist in the world we`re born but the pain does" she shout with anger in her voice and now she reaches your limit.

"I know, want me to end your pain? then I will, I`ll make sure you suffer and Roth in hell! I will let you know what it feels like to be ripped every single day just like what you did to my best friend when she`s the only one who can understand me in this accursed world! you won`t be here if isn`t for your family`s greed, jealousy, and hatred towards mine!" You shout back pointing the gun at her turning back around to face her.

"A fanabla! Takara" you pull the trigger and shoot her straight at her chest making you fell on your knees with tears brimming in your eyes.

"Why am I even crying?" you wiped your tears away as you slowly stood up and spit to your side. 

"You want it, you get it. Ciao Takara" you laugh smirk is drawn on your lips as you walk out of the abandoned place with Jaehyun while whistling like a psycho.

"Nice shoot out there" you`re startled by Jaehyun`s voice you thought Johnny was the one using your bathroom but when you turned around you`re eye to eye with Jaehyun water droplets falling from his abs with a towel covering his torso down.

"What the fuck are you doing here!?" you said eyes widening.

"Using your bathroom obviously" he answered coming closer to you.

"and who permitted you to use it!? get out!" you pushed him away but he put his shirt back on luckily his wearing his shorts under his towel only to come closer dangerously close that you can feel his hot breath panning to yours.

You back away until the back of your knees hit the bed making you fall with Jaehyun hovering above you, you know this is wrong and you need to stop Jaehyun.

"Stop!" you keep moving away from him but before you can push him the door suddenly burst open with Johnny looking at the two of you his eyes screaming anger, jealousy, hate, and sadness he feels betrayed. He drops the bouquet on the floor grabbing Jaehyun by his collar.

"I trusted you, you bastard!" Johnny was about to throw a punch on Jaehyun when you stop him.

"Baby no it`s not like that, it`s not what you think it is" you plead, holding his arms.

"So, this is the reason why you`ve been so distant to me lately huh?" Johnny glares at you, this is the first time you see him this fuming mad.

"What the fuck!? of course not!" you defended.

Within a second he throws a punch at Jaehyun which Jaehyun gives back at him you tried to stop them but they are much stronger compared to you.

"Johnny please stop" you shout at them making them stop from gripping each other.

Johnny fixes his clothes giving you a painful glance before leaving, why the fuck are you crying when Johnny is the one in pain right now. You quickly follow him not giving a fuck about Jaehyun.

"Johnny please wait, listen to me please, just please" you plead as you grab a hold of his wrist there`s also a tear escaping his eyes which breaks you more.

"Stop! stop okay? I don`t need any of your explanation" he said coldly before shutting the door of his room.

You stand there dumbfounded with your eyes brimming in tears you go back to your room Jaehyun is trying to apologize but it angers you more, irritating you more, hurting you more.

"Get the fuck out of my sight!" you exclaimed as you push him away.

"I don`t want your apology, your sorry won`t fix anything okay!? now live me the fuck alone!" you`re livid and you`re in your pain. Why are you always the one receiving the pain?

Jaehyun doesn`t say anything anymore leaving you alone, you cried your eyes out. You lost your father, you lost wendy, you lost Johnny. What else do they want to take away from you? sometimes you just wanna sleep and get deep in it so you will never wake up in this realm.

"Johnny listen to me! what you saw there is nothing I swear please, just please at least talk to her. I`m sorry" Jaehyun rub his face using his palms out of stress and frustration while guilt is creeping up in his body.

"Quit with your bullshits! what do you want me to do? believe you after you deceive me by using Y/n? do you think I didn`t know that the two of you killing Takara? Well, fuck this because Y/n didn`t really kill her! It`s Kun" Johnny retorted. Well, Jaehyun is not shocked about Kun killing Takara since he`s an International agent. He glares at Jaehyun who`s speechless at his older friend's outburst.

"Okay, that shit is on me but don`t let it out on her for fuck sake Johnny the one you witness earlier is not what you think it is! I use her bathroom and decided to tease her not seduce her" A sigh escape Johnny`s lips throwing his head back out of mixed emotion.

"Get out I need some time alone" Johnny spoke without looking at his friend, he let his body fall on the mattress running his hands to his face.

You`ve been lying in your bed for a few hours now and so did Johnny making everyone worried and they didn`t even see a single glimpse of Jaehyun. You`re ashamed so ashamed to talk and face them, you`re the one who plans this revenge but you end up ruining it. Of course, you know it`s not you who kill Takara, you heard it from Johnny and there`s nothing more to deny it.

You really want to see him, you really want to feel him, you really want to apologize. Gathering your courage getting a little bit shameless you got up from your bed opening the door you flinch slightly when you see Johnny standing in front of you, his fist in the air maybe he's about to knock? there`s an awkward tension between the two of you. His eyes that full of love every day is now emotionless.

"D-do you want to come in?" you manage to let out but he didn`t say anything.

He cups your face landing his soft lips on yours pulling you back inside your room. He closes the door using his feet, you pull away from him avoiding his intense gaze. He softly touches your chin making you look at him before kissing you again this time it`s passionate and slow. You want him to stop, you really do but you can`t resist him. Within a moment you`re kissing him back too.

A soft moan escapes your lips as you and Johnny let your body fall on the mattress. Johnny hovering above you makes you feel small underneath him it awaken your inner desires. Johnny leaves traces of wet kisses on your neck making you yearn for his touch. He removes his shirt and so did you, throwing it somewhere in the room.

Tongues pressed together in a hot open-mouthed kiss as he kneaded your breast his other hands slowly making it`s way to your clothed core slowly removing it he rub your sensitive clit.

He stops for a moment before pulling away making you whine lightly at the sudden loss of contact. He removes his pants and boxer tossing it somewhere in the room again before positioning himself in between your legs, pushing in slowly his thrust is deep and slow making you moan in pleasure.

"I-I`m sorry" you let out breathily.

His thrust getting a little bit faster making you grip the sheets as he buried his face at the crook of your neck. You know this will be the last time you can feel him this close to you, the last time you can feel his love for you, the last time he will make you feel loved.

"D-don`t stop please" you stuttered out as tears fall from your eyes.

"Don`t cry you know it hurts me too" he kisses your tears away, his thrust getting sloppy as you can feel yourself about to reach your orgasm.

"Baby I`m gonna cum" you moaned gripping him tightly throwing your head back.

"Neither am I, cum for me," he said softly.

He goes to the bathroom to clean you up and getting a shirt in your closet which is his shirt.

"Is this the last time?" you asked him as he slid the shirt in your body before covering you with the blanket.

"Please, I`m sorry. I`ll do anything for you just please don`t leave me you know you`re the only one I have" you cried. You know you still have the others who treat you like their own sister but Johnny is different.

"Y/n our love it`s not just about holding on sometimes it`s about letting go too it`s treacherous if we love each other in this time it can lead to something else" He manages to speak despite of the lump forming in his throat. You sob in his shoulder clutching his shirt not wanting to let go.

"You need to rest, I want you to close your eyes until you heard the door close. Promise me to not open it" you nodded removing your grip on his shirt, you softly lay in your bed. Johnny kissed you on the forehead, you cry more when you can`t feel his warmth close to you anymore.

You heard the soft click of the door closing, you keep your promise you didn`t open your eyes. The memories you made with him flashes in your mind as you fall asleep.

Johnny stops midway before getting his luggage in his room "I love you" he whispered while looking at your room`s door. Proceeding to do his thing with tears brimming out of his eyes.

It`s currently 2:00 AM now and Jaehyun is accompanying Johnny to the airport.

"I`m sorry for what I`ve done I didn`t mean it as that" Jaehyun asks for forgiveness which Johnny gives back with a smile.

"It`s really not your fault and not Y/n`s fault I really have to do this" Johnny said but Jaehyun didn`t get it.

"Do you really have to leave?" Jaehyun asks once again Johnny nodded before leaving his friend alone the smile on his face quickly fades away as sadness took over it.

“I let go because I want you to hold on a little more longer I`ll promise to be back” Johnny said while tears slowly fall from his eyes, looking at the picture the two of you took together.

‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves’ - William Shakespeare

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 15

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

If you’re new to Sapere Aude, please click the link above to start from the beginning. There’s so much going on right now that you’ll be way too confused to start from this point. Plus, there are some major bombshells that won’t be as fun if you read this and get a bunch of spoilers.

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Trigger Warning: A brief moment of physical abuse.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 3,435

A/N: Guys, we’re really in the home stretch now, we’re slowly but surely getting some resolutions. I finished this up the other day, and am already halfway through the next chapter. I’m hoping to have the series completely written by the end of the weekend or early next week. I have some really exciting and unexpected things coming, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

Thank you, as always, to the amazing, @phoenixrising308​ (<--- my fandom soulmate, you may know her as @jessiembruno​, follow her new account so you don’t miss a second of her incredible work) & @txemrn. And to @twinkleallnight for my lovely moodboard!

Tags: Listed below, hit me up to be added or removed.

Liam’s eyes fluttered open, his wife slowly coming into focus in front of him. She was already awake, and smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning.” She greeted him softly.

“Hi.” He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips. 

“Do you want to talk? Drake texted me, he got Eleanor out of bed, so we have some time.” Liam silently nodded his head. Riley removed his hand from her cheek and kissed his palm before sitting up and leaning back against the headboard. 

Liam rolled onto his back, stretching his arms over his head with a groan before sitting up next to Riley, taking her hand in his. “And I thought our wedding was an eventful day.” He chuckled lightly. 

“Liam, real talk.” Riley replied, combing the fingers of her free hand through his hair.

“I...I feel like I got some closure. I needed that moment. When it was just you telling me that she was alive, it was easy to ignore, or pretend it wasn’t real. But with her standing in front of me, I had to face the truth, face what she did to me. And now she truly knows how much she hurt me. I can move on now, and truly put her in the past.”

Riley smiled at him. “That’s great, I’m so proud of you. I also noticed that you told Thomas you still wanted a relationship with him?”

“He holds no responsibility for what happened, he was born into a life that he had no control over.” Liam’s expression became more pensive as he spoke about Thomas. 

“And you understand the feeling, so you’re cutting him some slack.”

Liam nodded. “Sort of, we were both born with certain responsibilities and expectations, I can understand his feelings of obligation. As much as I missed out by losing my mother, and him, he lost out on even more. He was supposed to be a prince, he is a prince, and he’s lived as a commoner his whole life. We both missed out on so much by not having each other, like we should have. I can’t get that time back, but I can try to make up for it moving forward.”

“You’re amazing Liam, you know that right?” Riley looked at him adoringly. 

He brought his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “You may have mentioned it once or twice before.” He leaned in and kissed her. “You know, I didn’t get a chance to properly show you how happy I am to have you home and safe.” He kissed her again, this time pulling her into his lap. 

She giggled as his lips began working their way down her neck. “Liam, we don’t have time right now. I’m sure everyone is waiting for us. Rain check?” 

Liam lifted his head and placed his forehead against hers. “You promise?” He kissed her softly on the nose.

“Have I ever let you down in that department?”

“Never.” He kissed her deeply, running his hands down her back until they rested on the curves of her ass.

“Good, then let’s go.” She kissed him one last time before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Once they were ready, they headed downstairs and headed to the smaller dining room. Eleanor noticed them immediately and charged at her mother. “Mommy!”

Riley lifted her daughter into her arms and held her close for a moment before pulling away and giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey baby girl, were you a good hostess to our guests while mommy and daddy were away?”

“Yes mommy, the best hostess!” As Riley brushed some hair out of Eleanor’s face, Eleanor noticed the marks on Riley’s wrist where she had been bound the day before. “You have a boo-boo mommy.” 

“I know baby, I do.” She held her wrist out so Eleanor could look at it. 

“I can fix it.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s hand and brought her wrist to her lips, kissing the marks with a loud smacking sound. “There you go mommy, all better now.” She smiled at her mother proudly. 

Liam looked on, quickly swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the sight. In that moment, it hit him again that not only would he have lost his wife, the best thing that had ever happened to him, but Eleanor would have lost her mother. He quickly shook off the thought, everyone was safe, and they were about to take steps to eliminate their greatest threat.

“Thank you Eleanor, it feels so much better.” Riley gave her one last hug before putting her back down. “Why don’t you go see Miss Gladys, she’ll take you into the kitchen to get something to eat. We need to have a grown up breakfast.”

Eleanor nodded and ran out of the room in search of Gladys. Riley and Liam approached the table as their friends stood to greet them. “Sit down weirdos, this isn’t a royal function, this is breakfast with friends.” Riley waived them off as everyone sat at the table. It was silent for a moment, nobody quite sure how to break the silence. “So I guess we should start by addressing the elephant in the room. Neville and Mara kidnapped me yesterday. Before you start with me; I’m fine, Neville has been arrested, Mara is dead.”

“Good riddance.” Olivia interrupted. The group laughed at her comment, breaking some of the tension in the room. 

Their friends listened with bated breath as Riley and Liam recalled the events from the day before. Riley told them about the kidnapping, and everything that transpired between her and Neville. She told them how Eleanor had come to her rescue, Liam tensing slightly, as this was the first time he had heard that part of the story. She went on to explain that Liam had come face to face with Eleanor, and how proud she was of him for confronting her and lifting that huge weight of his chest. 

Liam picked up the story from there, explaining that he said what he needed to say to get the closure he needed with his mother, and that he wanted to try to build some kind of a relationship with Thomas. He still wasn’t sure what that relationship would look like, but he was excited to find out. 

“So where do we go from here?” Maxwell asked, once the group had been fully caught up. 

“Well, we need to squash the Auvernal thing once and for all, and I think there’s only one way to do that.” Riley said. It was something she had been thinking about since the meeting where revisiting the alliance came up. “We’re going to have to release the information we got when we destroyed the alliance the first time. The only way we are going to put an end to this is to tell the world that the twins are not blood heirs to the throne.”

“But what if this group tries to spin it, or screw with the records?” Drake asked. Nobody was quite sure how to answer that, but it was a legitimate concern. 

“We out the Via Imperii. If they’re a secret society, announcing that they were behind the kidnapping of our Queen, and were trying to push forward a marriage alliance with heirs that do not have true birthright to the throne will knock them off their high horse.” Olivia stated. 

“But how do we know they know?”

Riley tapped her fingers against the table, thinking for a moment before chiming in. “We don’t Max, that’s fair. But they probably do, they seem to know just about everything else. Even if they don’t, they’re not going to hold their own press conference to contradict us. It kind of goes against their whole being a secret thing.”

“Very well, I will make sure to get a press conference scheduled in the coming days to make the announcements.” Liam chimed in. “I will also set up an emergency council meeting to inform them of our decision, and also move things forward with Neville.” 

“What are you going to do to him? Can I be the executioner?” The excitement in Drake’s voice made Riley and Maxwell giggle, while Olivia rolled her eyes.

Liam chuckled lightly before responding. “I have thoroughly thought out his punishment, we will review it in the council meeting tomorrow.” He cleared his throat before moving on to the next open item. “Finally, I have promised Thomas and his mother that the crown would protect them for their assistance in saving Riley. Nobody knows about Thomas’s connection to the crown, or my family, so he will not need to remain in hiding. However, he is going to be a target of the Via Imperii, so he will no longer be able to guard my family. I do have a position in mind for him, I would like him to work with Bastien and I to completely overhaul the guard program.”

“It’s about damn time.” Olivia scoffed. 

“I agree, Olivia. Regrettably, I have let the current program go far too long, and it almost cost my wife her life.” He reached over, taking Riley’s hand in his, offering an apologetic smile. “We absolutely cannot let another Mara slip through the cracks. With his intimate knowledge of the Via Imperii, I feel that he would be a great asset.” He paused as the room nodded in agreement. “As for his mother, she was a notable figure in Cordonia for many years, so she will need to remain in hiding. We will need to set her up in a safe house with a team of guards.”

Olivia cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “I can house her in Lythikos.” All heads snapped in her direction, and she sat a little taller in her seat to overcompensate for the discomfort she felt in that moment. “When I was a child, she showed me a kindness I had never known at a time when I needed it most. Liam, I respect your decision not to reconnect with her because of what she did to you, I hope you can respect my decision to want to help her because of what she did for me.” 

Liam nodded. “Absolutely Olivia, as long as she and I do not cross paths, I will put her in your care.” 

“Ok, so we have all the work stuff out of the way. There’s a plan, nobody is in any immediate danger. Can we please relax and have a nice breakfast and enjoy what’s left of our getaway weekend?” Maxwell asked dramatically. 

“Amen to that.” Riley replied, pulling her napkin from the table and placing it in her lap. The group dug into their food, the mood much lighter than it had been when Liam and Riley arrived.

The next day Liam walked out of the state room. He had just adjourned the emergency meeting of the Royal Council to discuss everything that had been uncovered during their trip to Valtoria. He rushed to catch Drake, who had slipped out while Liam was still shaking hands and saying his goodbyes to the other council members. “Drake, hold on a moment.” 

Drake stopped walking and turned to face his friend. “Hey Li, what’s up? I was just going to head home.”

“I was actually hoping you could help me out with something. I’m heading down to the cells to personally deliver the news to Neville.”

Drake’s lips curled up into a devious smile. “And you want me to be there to see it all go down? Liam, I’m speechless. It’s not even my birthday.”

Liam chuckled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Well, it’s not just for you to bask in his misery, I need your assistance.” His expression turned serious before he continued. “Drake, after what he did to Riley, I don’t trust myself alone with him. I need you to be there to pull me off in case I go too far.”

“Li, you know I’m always there for you for anything you need, but do you really think I’m the best person to stop someone from hurting Neville? Honestly, I can’t even guarantee that I won’t jump in and throw a couple of punches myself.”

“Then we will bring Bastien along as well, but I would really appreciate it if I had you by my side for this.”

Drake nodded, and the two of them headed for the cells with Bastien in tow. When they arrived, Bastien took Neville from his cell and put him in one of the interrogation rooms. They waited before entering, giving him time to sit alone with his thoughts. Once Liam felt he had waited long enough he looked to Drake and the two entered the room together. Drake stepped back into the corner as Liam approached Neville, who was sitting at a table, but stood immediately upon the King’s entry. 

“Ah, so you are capable of showing respect to your betters. I had heard otherwise.” Liam took a seat, signaling for Neville to do the same. 

Neville scoffed. “Your majesty, I always have. Your queen just doesn’t happen to be one of them.”

“Oops, wrong answer.” Drake chimed in from the back corner. 

Liam shot up from his seat. He charged at Neville on the other side of the table, lifting him by the front of his shirt and holding his gaze. “How dare you speak of your queen, my wife, that way.”

“Liam, why don’t you give him the good news, before you beat the shit out of him? That way he’ll be able to fully appreciate it. I know I will.” At Drake’s words, Liam released Neville who shot an angry glance in Drake’s direction. Drake winked at him. 

“Of course Drake, thank you for keeping me on task.” Liam straightened his jacket and returned to his place at the table, sliding a folder across it to Neville. “Neville, you have officially been stripped of all of your titles and lands. This paperwork will provide you with the specifics, but as of about an hour ago, you are no longer a noble.”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, shocked at the new development. “You mean I am a…” He trailed off, unable to utter the word. 

“You’re a commoner, just like me!” Drake cheerily finished Neville’s sentence for him. 

Liam raised a hand to silence his friend. He was enjoying this just as much as Drake was, but as King he did need to keep an heir of levelheadedness about him. “You will also be tried with treason for kidnapping Queen Riley. Your trial will begin next week, and I don’t think you need me to tell you, but I will. It is not looking promising for you Mr. Vancoeur.” 

Neville crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. “Wonderful, just let me know when the execution is to take place.”

“Oh Neville.” Liam laughed as he stood, once again walking to the other side of the table. “Do you really think you are going to be let off that easily?” Neville cocked an eyebrow as Liam got in his face, his demeanor calmer than before. “I have final say in all sentencing, and for you I have something in mind that will make you pray for death. You will be spending the remainder of your days in your cell, eating food that doesn't even register on the Michelin guide, knowing that you have no status, no pull. The life you once knew, a distant memory as you sit here for decades to come. That is the worst possible punishment I am able to bestow as your King.” Neville leaned back and audibly gulped. “As far as the punishment I am able to bestow as a husband…” Liam squared his shoulders and brought his fist back before thrusting it forward, making hard and fast contact with Neville’s jaw, knocking him out of his chair and onto the floor. As he laid there holding his face, Liam approached once more, this time kicking Neville swiftly in the ribs. “How dare you lay a hand on my wife.” He crouched down on the ground, lifting Neville by his shirt. “Please know that there is more I would like to do to you, but you are not worth any more of my time. Just remember that my American commoner wife will be up there enjoying every luxury in the world, as she deserves, while you rot away down here dreaming of the life you once had.” 

Liam landed one last punch to Neville’s face before letting go of his shirt and watching his head hit the ground. He then slumped over, breathing heavily as the adrenaline began to wear off. Drake approached him and patted him on the shoulder lightly. “C’mon buddy, let’s get out of here. You got what you came for.” 

Liam nodded silently as his friend helped him to his feet. Drake draped an arm around Liam’s shoulder and walked with him out of the room. He looked at Bastien, who had been waiting at the door and signaled for him to return Neville to his cell. Bastien gave Drake a curt nod and retreated to the interrogation room as Drake and Liam made their way back to the main area of the palace.

When they reached the foyer, Drake stopped Liam before he reached the steps. “Hey, are you okay? Do you want to go to your office for a drink or something?”

Liam brushed him off. “I’m fine Drake, I’m just going to head up to my quarters and relax with my family.” He extended his hand to Drake. “Thank you for coming with me today.”

“Of course man. Any time, any place. You know that.” Drake shook his hand and pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back before pulling away. “I’m going to call you later to check in.”

Liam gave him a small smile before turning and heading up the stairs towards his chambers. Upon entering, he was greeted by an empty living room. “Riley?” He called out.

“Bedroom.” He heard her faint reply from the hallway and followed the sound of her voice. 

He entered the room as she was exiting her walk-in closet holding multiple hangers. “I mean honestly, I love my life and how much you spoil me, but do I really need this many black dresses?” She let out an exasperated sigh before looking up and noticing Liam. “What happened? What’s wrong?” She dropped the dresses she was holding and rushed up to him.

“I just got back from the cells.”

“Liam Rys, what did you do?” Riley placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow. 

“He’s fine, the medics will bandage him up. I’m sure losing his title hurt him much more than I did.” He grabbed her hands off of her hips and brought them to his lips. “He hurt you, Riley. He tried to take you away from me. I know he’s going to be punished for what he did, but it won’t ever be enough.”

Riley lifted his hand, examining it. It was red, bruises already beginning to form at the knuckles. She kissed each knuckle softly. “Come on, let’s ice it before it gets too bad.” She held onto his hand, leading him into the kitchen. “Sit.” she pointed to the kitchen table. 

Hey obeyed, sitting at the table as she went to the freezer, pulling out an ice pack and wrapping it in a dish towel. She joined him at the table, sitting on his lap, and taking his injured hand in hers once more. She pressed the ice pack to his knuckles, he hissed slightly at the feeling. She pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss as she continued to hold the ice to his hand. “To distract you from the pain.” She said with a wink as she pulled away.

“You have always been my favorite distraction.” He brought his free hand to her face, pulling her into a deeper kiss. “When is Eleanor due back?”

“Mmm..a little over an hour.” She cooed.

“Perfect, that will be more than enough time.” 

“For what?” 

“For me to cash in my rain check from yesterday.” Liam removed his hand from under the ice pack and lifted Riley bridal style to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.

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Liam x Riley:

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Liam:

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[itsfunorwhateva]

Sweet Creature

Hi! I’m back with some more of an analysis type post! I hope this helps with a deeper understanding. I’ve provided sources where I got my information. I really tried to set this up and write this in a very informational/analysis way so it isn’t strictly an opinion. Also I want to say I haven’t read the entirety of Othello, but I have read some scenes and read complete analysis of the play to write this. Without further ado... Sweet Creature. 

While it seems that some people have a general understanding that Sweet Creature by Harry Styles references the tragedy, Othello written by William Shakespeare, most people don’t get why that is huge, not only in terms of Harry making this decision, but also in support of Sweet Creature being about Louis Tomlinson. 

So I’m going to break this into three parts to help make this make the most sense. 

1. The reference Harry Styles makes in his song, to the play Othello

2. Why an Othello reference is huge; more on the play

3. William Shakespeare and his sexuality/coding in other works

These will make more sense with further explanation(duh), but I’m hoping this will connect the dots. Also, a quick disclaimer before we begin, this information is coming off of google searches, and analysis that I’m reading, and some from information I researched for a research paper on William Shakespeare. I am in no way an expert on song analysis, literature analysis, or on William Shakespeare and his personal life. I really just hope to give people a base to start themselves on more research, and understanding of the topic. Happy reading!

1. The reference Harry Styles makes in his song, to the play Othello

Now there is not much to dig up or uncover here as the reference is actually pretty obvious. The term Sweet Creature, in which the song is titled, is said to have originated from the play Othello. Act 3, Scene 3, specifically is where the term of endearment (this is important to note, Sweet Creature is used as a term of loving, endearment) is first seen. 

“In sleep I heard him say ‘Sweet Desdemona, Let us be wary, let us hide our loves.’ And then, sir, would he gripe and wring my hand, Cry ‘O sweet creature!’ and then kiss me hard“ (Othello III, iii ,428-432). 

Some context for these lines of dialogue Act 3, Scene 3 is Iago telling Othello about his wife cheating on him. The scene has multiple instances of Iago expressing love for Othello, basically saying how Iago would not be telling Othello this if he didn’t love him so much. More on that for our next section. This first appearance of the term “sweet creature” is Iago telling Othello what he heard a man speak to Othello’s wife while the two were in bed together, all in a dream. Now the idea of cheating is not something to be too hung up on, but this is the context in which sweet creature first appears. While the term, Sweet Creature, is said form man to women - it is revealed to the husband from another man. Iago in which it is said may have homosexual desires/feeling towards Othello in this play. Personally I believe that Iago almost uses the term as a way to convince Othello that his wife is being loved by someone else, and maybe Othello should leave her to be with someone, like Iago, that could love him better. 

Sources for this section!

Harry Styles References Othello in new Single, Sweet Creature

https://genius.com/a/harry-styles-references-shakespeare-s-othello-on-new-single-sweet-creature#:~:text=The%20song's%20title%2C%20%E2%80%9CSweet%20Creature,originate%20in%20William%20Shakespeare's%20Othello.

Othello play

https://www.sparknotes.com/nofear/shakespeare/othello/page_166/

2. Why an Othello reference is huge; more on the play

Deeper meanings behind the characters and the play obviously take a bit more time and effort to really understand. Depending on what angle and the kind of understanding you have about the characters and situation in Othello you’ll think one way or another. Othello is partially about homosexuality (in a way that it is not the whole plot, but it does play a major part if you understand the context/characters). Not everyone thinks this and it’s normally not brought in class discussion/normal educational settings, but the fact remains. 

There are a few things throughout the plays that hint towards the characters sexualities. When looked at in the right light and context it can help make sense of not only Harry Styles’ reference, and way choosing Othello to reference is kind of a big deal, but also a better understanding of the play. One article writes, “In William Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of Othello the Moor of Venice Shakespeare leaves the character of Iago’s sexuality to be questioned. Although Iago has a wife, he drops slight hints throughout the play that he has homosexual thoughts or feelings toward other characters, but he uses his position in the military and his fear to suppress these feelings. These “hints” are shown through his wildly questionable story about Michael Cassio, his word choice when describing Othello, and his discourse with Rodrigo” (Homosexuality in Othello). 

The character Iago is a military officer, and it shouldn’t take a genius to understand that being in the military and being homosexual only equal no good. The American policy in the military of “don’t ask, don’t tell” was/is a more modern day policy but still shows how military personal were/are expected and required to act in regards to being homosexual. Simply speaking, don’t. Now thinking even more to Shakespearean time, an even greater restriction was likely in place for homosexuality and the military. This part of the character, Iago, is likely a huge reason people overlook any thought of the character having homosexual desires/thoughts. 

Even if you remove the circumstances surrounding Iago, and him being a military officer there are some others things throughout the play that hint towards possible homosexual desire/feelings. Iago is constantly informing Othello of his love for the other man, claiming to always be Othello’s, should he want him. Some of this can be chalked up to the language of the time, in being, love was used for both friend, and lover, but the extent in which Iago professes may hint towards something deeper. Others things include, Iago claiming to have “lay with” Cassio, another male character, and while some say this is simply in the barracks as fellow soldiers, others think this could have been to hint at being lovers. 

One other thing that isn’t necessarily the play at face value, but still supports the idea of Iago being homosexual, is that actors throughout history have chosen to play him either as a straight or gay characters. While, this could simply be a creative decision based on an actor individually, it still seems a bit huge. If nothing in the text supported Iago being gay, there would not be actors playing him this way. 

Sources for this section!

Homosexuality in Othello

https://www.cram.com/essay/Homosexuality-In-Othello/P3Z2W7LCX5Q

Is Iago Gay in Othello?

https://www.arogundade.com/homosexuality-in-shakespeare-is-iago-gay-in-othello.html

3. William Shakespeare and his sexuality/coding in other works

Final section is really just me helping you understand the feasibility of William Shakespeare writing his characters this way. There’s essentially two parts to understanding this and I’m going to try and help this make the most sense without going too overboard. One part is going to be how William Shakespeare has written other works. I’m going to focus more on his sonnets because I’ve already researched them for a paper in school, but they still stand with this point. The second part is going to be William Shakespeare’s own sexuality and why this is going to affect his written work.

Ok, so the sonnets. 

“The sonnets have a contrasting set of subjects - one set chronicles the poet's lust for a married woman with a dark complexion, known as The Dark Lady, while the other describes a conflicted or confused love for a young man, known as the "fair youth."‘ (William Shakespeare, his Life, Works, and Influence). 

So the sonnets were pretty revolutionary, exploring concepts such as love, lust, and even same sex relationships. This is observed in Shakespeare’s use of gender neutral terms and male pronouns, depending on the sonnet. This is pretty huge. When I did a sonnet analysis I chose two sonnets, which I’ll provide (Sonnet 18 and 29 - both are pretty well known and brought up in regarded to hidden messages/meanings). Both used pronouns that were either male or neutral, something that has been used forever to queer code in works, so do with that information what you will. A common analysis, is that William Shakespeare often wrote from personal experience, more so in his poems and sonnets, then in his plays, but nonetheless. 

Second part, Shakespeare’s own sexuality. William Shakespeare was married to a women, but that doesn’t exactly say much. Men were known to get married because it is the thing to do, without necessarily having any feelings or desires towards said women. 

When Shakespeare’s sexuality comes into question there a few things that are addressed. I definitely recommend reading the first source for this section, “Was Shakespeare Gay?”, it gives you a really good analysis and explores so many faucets of the question. I’m going to sum up the article and you can either read more or just take what I’ll explain. 

The article explains that when looking at Shakespeare’s works he is really good at getting into the minds of his characters, without necessarily having the experience to match the character, i.e. writing from Cleopatra’s perspective, or from a gay man’s perspective. However on the flip side of that, when Shakespeare writes of same sex experiences, he seems to have a wide variety of knowledge of very specific references and experiences, maybe leaning towards him having these experiences. People point out that Shakespeare’s sonnets are his most personal works, and imagine that, they are also the ones that reference same sex attraction and love. Now of course there is way more in the source, but here’s what I think are the most important/key points. It’s important to remember that sexuality is only able to be labeled by the person, but from different works, and cultural ideals, there are certain things to be said about Shakespeare himself. 

Sources for this section!

Was Shakespeare Gay?

https://www.shakespeare.org.uk/explore-shakespeare/podcasts/lets-talk-shakespeare/was-shakespeare-gay/

William Shakespeare, his Life, Works, and Influence

https://www.williamshakespeare.net/

Sonnet 18

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45087/sonnet-18-shall-i-compare-thee-to-a-summers-day

Sonnet 29

https://www.williamshakespeare.net/sonnet-29.js

Finally

Thank you for reading and I hope this made you think a bit. I want to repeat that I am in no way an expert, nor am I claiming to be. You are more than welcome to think whichever way you want about this information and I invite you to do your own further research. I hope this helped explain the reference and the importance of said reference in Harry Styles’, “Sweet Creature”. Thank you for reading, let me know what you think, and as always TPWK. xx

[im-the-punk-who]

I saw your post on dogs with anxiety. As a professional, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing a list of behaviors in dogs that may be attributed to anxiety and how to tell if it's anxiety or personality. Do you know any of the behaviors in cats that mean the same? You don't have to answer, you provided great examples in your post, I was just wondering what more I could learn without the uncertainty of truthfulness provided by Google. Thanks!

Hey! So yes I can absolutely list behaviors I look for when I'm assessing if a dog has anxiety(and I can go into cats a bit from foster/rescue experience but I haven't been 'trained' on them so it's much more circumstantial).

The short answer is that if your dog seems anxious, that's not a feature it's a bug and you should address it. Even if it seems like it's just their personality - that usually means they're an anxious dog and need help, not that the behavior should be ignored or can't be changed.

Also, I approach dog training from a 'dog problem' perspective rather than a 'people problem' perspective. I am not focused on if the behavior being exhibited is a behavioral problem *for the owner* - I am focused on what that behavior tells me about the dog's emotional state.

But first! Two disclaimers:

1) 100% of dogs will show some of these behaviors in varying degrees. Just because your dog does one or two things on this list at a low degree doesn't mean they're about to have a breakdown. If you think your dog might be anxious enough to need training based on this list, consult a trainer in person. While I am a dog trainer, this isn't meant to be a self-diagnosis thing. Lay-people are notoriously bad at determining how bad dog anxiety is, and a trained professional may very well pick up on things you aren't seeing or be able to explain what's going on.

2) You'll notice some of these things are behaviors people commonly think are 'play' or 'affection' or 'the dog being high energy' or 'because of the breed' - and yes! Yes. My whole point in most of my other posts has been that we have desensitized ourselves to just how anxious our dogs are, right up until they bite someone. Again, if you see a dog exhibiting a number of these behaviors, the best thing is to consult a trainer - in person! <3

Also, below a cut bc this is just ridiculously long

So! there is sort of a hierarchy of dog behaviors. First are the lowest levels of behavioral problems. These are the ones that most dogs exhibit in one form or another. Just like all people exhibit anxiety sometimes, so do all dogs and it's really to what extent those behaviors tell us about quality of life rather than their simple presence. The second level is more acute behaviors - these are ones that may or may not require training but you should absolutely note if you see your dog displaying them. Third category is dogs who have already gone way past what we would consider a 'normal' threshhold for behavior. If your dog is doing these things you need a professional. Full Stop.

For lower level behaviors what I might do is take stock of how many and how intense behaviors are. If your dog is showing, say, 1-2 low level behaviors constantly I might recommend seeing a trainer but wouldn't push it, but if they're showing 1-2 mid level behaviors as well, or like the whole list of low level behaviors, I would absolutely recommend talking to a trainer.

Low level behaviors commonly associated with anxiety:

- 'Stickiness', needy/pushy behavior(dogs who follow you from room to room or climb on you, invade your personal space habitually) - Mouthiness (they consistently go for your hands/arms instead of a toy when playing, or like to chew/lick people habitually) - Putting paws on people/lacking boundaries (like, if your dog wants you to play with it, and puts their paws on you to let you know, or if your dog consistently wants to sit on you) - Taking high value items and running away with them (low level resource guarding), or turning away from you with a high value item/growling/freezing - Being unable to settle (mild pacing, moves from room to room often, rarely sleeps deeply) - the LACK of deep sleep (you rarely see your dog 'dreaming') - Mild leash pulling - 'Snapping' food up rather than taking it gently - Lip-licking, continuous panting, 'freezing' at stimulus - Whining - Moderate vocalizations (barking, howling, etc) Mid-level Anxiety:

- Habitually jumping on people - Rushing at people or through doors/openings - Consistent pulling on leash - Reactive barking (at cars, bikes, other dogs, people, etc) - Uncontrollable 'Zoomie' behavior (will not stop if asked, may bump into people or other dogs) - Compulsive behaviors (digging, chewing, licking, drinking all the water in a bowl, etc) - Pacing/needing a high level of exercise every day, or immediately getting up if you move - Destructive behavior (rips up every toy they're given, chews shoes or other items consistently) - Resource guarding (bears teeth, snaps but doesn't make contact, takes items and hides them habitually) - Hard biting/inappropriate strength while playing, or entering a fight they don't have a part in Starting fights with other dogs over minor infractions (has my toy, was in my way, stepped on me while I was sleeping) - Inability/Unwillingness to take food (yes, this means if your dog is a habitual ‘picky eater’ that can be a symptom of anxiety. I said what I said.)

High-Level Anxiety:

- Overt aggression (lip-snarling while barking, 'hard' barking, biting, pinning, etc) - Starting fights with other dogs who are not interacting with them(going across a room to start a fight, immediately starting a fight upon eye-sight, etc) - hard pulling on leash/darting on leash - Compulsive behavior to the point of self injury - Intense resource guarding to the point it is a danger to interact with them - ‘Starvation’ or lack of ability to eat consistently

Also, because this tends to be really helpful for people, here's a small, non-exhaustive list of dog body-language signals that I look for when I'm assessing a dog's anxiety level:

- 'Looseness' - is the dog's back bending as it moves or is it tense along its topline. This is the number one thing I look for. If a dog has a tight topline, something is bothering them and usually, this is the clearest and most common indicator a dog will give. - Tail level - tucked, low, level, high - Ear level - floppy, back, neutral, forward, uneven, pointed) - Lips - Tight, loose, 'smiling', closed - Body balance (are they leaning forward, neutral, or leaning back/away from the stimulus) - Tail wagging if concentrated from mid to top of the tail (base stiff) (YES this can be a sign the dog is anxious NO it is not just because they're happy) - Presence of 'calming signals' - whole body shaking(wet dog shake), sighing, yawning, stretching - Body position (laying down, belly up, freezing in place, crouching/tucking, etc) - Eyes (hard, soft, wall eye, wide, fixed, moving, staring)

And finally, I do wanna plug the guy who taught me a lot of what I know because he is GREAT and his website has some really cool articles and podcasts - and I can actually recommend his youtube channel as well because most of it is just 'this is why we do what we do' rather than how-tos.

https://www.markmccabe.com/ https://www.markmccabe.com/blog/ (I particularly recommend What do Grade Schools and Mountains have to do with dog training? and Is your dog an optimist?) Youtube channel And now cats! So, cats at their core are similar, but their behaviors will differ slightly. Also again I'll reiterate that while I've had cats all my life and have worked with them extensively I have not received any formal training. So, where a lot of dog behaviors are focused on the person, cat behaviors will often be focused on their environment or other animals. Because we don’t train cats that ‘human means things happen’ they are less likely to connect a human with their unfulfilled need. (So, instead of a dog feeling anxious and going ‘must find/interact with/annoy human’, a cat will feel anxious and go ‘how can I fuck something up. anything it doesnt matter it just has to be something someone loves’). Low level behaviors - ‘sudden’ activity/reactive to loud noises (if you get up and they do, if they consistently hide at a certain noise, etc) - consistently pushing things off surfaces or other ‘attention seeking’ behaviors - ‘Scarfing’ food or eating and then vomitting - Stalking or consistent following of you or other animals

Mid-level behaviors

- Litter box guarding (will 'wait' outside the box while another cat is using it and may start a fight - agitation when being pet or touched - loss of appetite - anti-social behavior(hiding, hissing, etc) - swatting with claws extended - ‘Pouncing’ or stalking behavior that may escalate

High level behaviors

- Starting fights with animals who are not interacting with them - Peeing/pooping outside the litter box - Biting and breaking skin - unprovoked attacks that cause injury

As with dogs, one or two of these things doesn’t mean 100% your cat has an anxiety problem, but these are all indicators that something might be causing your cat stress and that should be addressed.

[mostgeckcellent]

hi yes i'm here from gemsofthegalaxy's rb PLEASE tell me about bibliotherapy?!

oh wow lol I didn't expect anyone to actually ask, thank you!! I would love a chance to not work on my thesis and just talk about theory instead.

Also, just like a note - I am actually a science communication student. I'm not in psychology, I'm not going to be a licensed therapist, I'm just using bibliotherapy theory to inform my research on storytelling and environmental advocacy. So I am super not qualified to give real advice on therapy, biblio or otherwise.

This got really long. I added a readmore.

With disclaimers out of the way, let's talk bibliotherapy!!!

So, okay. Bibliotherapy is, functionally, a combination of reading and talk therapy. It's used a lot regarding trauma, and one of the reasons for that is that someone might not be ready to really address or face that trauma head on yet, might not be ready to really address that part of them, BUT reading can help you think about it, and it can help introduce new narratives and shift ways of thinking about things, so you can talk about the character, instead of yourself.

Reading is really important. Or, more specifically, stories are really important, and the written word has been the dominant form of receiving and sharing stories for a really long time now. Stories are a fundamental human behaviour. Bibliotherapy theory argues that it's maybe The fundamental human behaviour - it's through stories that we learn about the world, our place in the world, and eventually, stories are also how we form our sense of self. It's through stories that we categorize, organize, and either accept or reject information.

From infancy, stories are how we connect to the world. Consider the nursery rhyme Ten Little Pigs Go To Market. It's a nonsensical story. The words by themselves are meaningless. But it's a story you tell to infants. What they learn isn't that the last little piggy went crying all the way home - no, they learn that stories are how they connect to their parents; they learn that their parents will play with them, play with their fingers or their toes. They learn about their body, about play - we are rewarded for engaging with language, with stories, with Fun.

That's one of the mechanisms by which bibliotherapy works. It's scary to talk about yourself, especially about things that make you vulnerable. But stories reward us with fun. It's easier to talk about stories, and typically, the stories that we identify with, that we love, that mean something to us, say something about us. We connect with those stories, those characters, for a reason.

When we read, we learn new ways of organizing information. We see things through new frames, through different filters (these are different things, frames and filters, and I can get into that, but this post is already getting So Long). We inform our sense of self based on information that is available to us. That sounds obvious, but it's important, because this is what stories do, right, they increase the total sum of what is available for informing our sense of self. We don't have to take in and identify with everything we read, but the more we are exposed to, the more we have to work with when it comes to forming an identity.

So, that was a lot of theory, but what happens in bibliotherapy?

A bibliotherapist, like any therapist, has to take time to get to know you, to get to know your goals, to build trust. But one of the first, foundational things a bibliotherapist will do is ask for your favourite books.

They will get to know what has informed your sense of self. What you like to read, what you identify with, what is meaningful to you. Once that's familiar, they'll assign you something new to read. There will be a reason for it - a story you'll identify with, told in a way that will be meaningful but different. You'll read the book. You'll talk about it. Hopefully, talking about what happened in the book, what happened to those characters, talking about how and why you connect, and with what, all of that, will slowly, gradually, move you from a place of unreadiness to face this thing, whatever that trauma is, to a place where you're more ready, by shifting internal dialogues and frameworks.

Okay so there are whole ass books written on this subject, so I can't obviously give a full view of bibliotherapy in a post on tumblr dot com. It's a really complex field that involves neurobiology, evolutionary biology, psychology, philosophy, literature, sociology - it's a lot. But I hope this little intro helped, and was interesting. Anyone who wants to ask more questions, my ask box is always open. Anon is off because I don't trust like that lol, but I'm always happy to talk about this stuff. I have lots more to say! I didn't even get into the stuff that I really dig into with my thesis!

But also, some quick lil reading recommendations on the subject:

The Story Species by Joseph Gold - the introduction is good, to start with. If you're interested in bibliotherapy specifically, also check out chapters 4, 10 and 11

Read For Your Life also by Joseph Gold (My Boy Joe is sorta the leading scholar in bibliotherapy) - chapters 8-9

Definition of Man by Burke - introduction

I have the last two as PDFs, so y'know, DM me if you want them I guess.

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch29. The Sokovia Accords Part 2: No, You Move.

Summary: Whilst discussing the proposed accords, Steve gets some bad news which makes everything pale into insignificance. And then, another ghost from his past comes back to haunt them.

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Elements of this have been reworked/rewritten…for reasons which will become apparent at some point! And I’ve also added in the scene with Natasha at the church. I love the banner and edit too from @angrybirdcr​.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 29 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 Steve had hoped that the more casual setting would defuse the seriousness of the situation. But that went out of the window an hour or so later when Rhodey and Sam started going at it. Steve was sat in the arm chair carefully reading through the accords packet with a deep frown, Katie perched on the arm of the chair reading over his shoulder. Tony was reclined on the chaise to their right with his hand covering his face as Sam and Rhodey argued, Natasha sitting patiently down by Tony’s legs waiting for them to be done. Vision and Wanda were on the sofa to their other side, neither having said much.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional medal of Honour,” argued Rhodey from behind the chair. Katie turned to look at them both. “Which is one more than you have.” He mocked Sam.

“So let’s say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they Low-Jack us like a bunch of common criminals?” Sam shot back.

“A hundred an seventeen countries want to sign this. A hundred and seventeen, Sam, and you’re just like, no, that’s cool. We got it.”

“How long are you going to play both sides?” Sam snapped.

“I have an equation.” Vision spoke loudly before Rhodey could reply, causing both men to quiet down and everyone to look at him. Steve lifted his head from the packet bringing his arm up to rest on Katie’s thigh.

“Oh, now this will clear it up,” said Sam sarcastically.

“In the eight years since Mr Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate.” Vision steeped his fingers together as he looked around a everyone.

“Are you saying it’s our fault?” Steve asked tensely, his hand on Katie’s leg became heavier.

“I’m saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe. Oversight isn’t an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”

“Boom,” Rhodey exclaimed, believing that Vision had solidified his point.

Katie shook her head sighing,

“Sorry Vision, I disagree.” Everyone’s attention now turned to her. “Being supervised is one thing. But from what I’ve read these Accords want us to give up total control of what we do and when we do it.” She paused as Steve’s arm slid from her leg to wrap around her back. She then turned her attention to Tony and looked at him as he remained still, hand over his face. "Clearly this has been in the pipeline for some time now, so why are we only just hearing about it?”

Tony glanced at her from underneath his hand, not offering an answer, as she continued.

“And less than a week to come to a decision on something like this? They’re trying to back us into a corner without giving us any proper time to discuss or negotiate the terms and its wrong.” She finished simply, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

“Boom.” Sam repeated from behind her.

“Tony.” Natasha addressed him as he removed his hand from his face. “You are being uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal,”

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind,” Katie raised her eyebrow.

“Kiddo, you know me so well.” Tony scoffed then groaned, standing up and moving over to the kitchen area with a sigh "Actually, I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache. That’s what’s going on. It’s just pain. It’s discomfort.” Another frustrated sigh escaped him as he faffed with something in the sink. “Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”

Tony moved to the other countertop slapping down the coffee mug and coffee pot before pulling his phone from his pocket and dropping it onto the fruit basket, then turning it on revealing the hologram of a young man.

“Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way,” said Tony with fake carelessness. “He’s a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk; see the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn’t go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun.” He spat sarcastically, “He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor guess where: Sokovia.”

He slammed his mug down as he stared round the room in anger, whilst Katie looked over at Wanda who bowed her head the moment her home was mentioned.

“He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. We won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were 'kicking ass’.” Tony ran a hand down his face before taking a drink of his coffee. “There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I’m game. If we can’t accept limitations, if we’re boundary-less, we’re no better than the bad guys.” He concluded, walking around the counter to lean back against it holding his arms over his chest.

“Tony,” Steve began gently. “If someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up.”

“Who said we’re giving up?” Tony questioned.

“We are for not taking responsibility for our actions.” Continued Steve. “This document just shifts the blame.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. That is dangerously arrogant.” Rhodey interrupted “This is the United Nations we’re talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not HYDRA.”

“No, but its run by people with agendas, and agendas change.” Steve shot back, earnestly.

“That’s good.” Tony answered, re-joining the group. “That’s why I’m here. Look, Cap, me and Kiddo, when we realized what Stark weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, we shut it down and stopped manufacturing.”

“Yeah, but Tony, we chose to do that.” Katie jabbed at her chest as she blazed at her brother, her voice gathering momentum and volume. “If we sign these then the next time something like that happens we won’t have the right to choose!“

"What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go?” Steve continued his hand gently rubbing at Katie’s back. He was glad they were on the same page, but he didn’t want her getting upset and falling out with Tony. “What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don’t let us?” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own.”

Tony looked down at the couple who both stared back at him. He rolled his eyes again. Of course they would be united on this, they were united on everything. But there were bigger things at stake here. If they didn’t agree, they’d be forced to retire, and the team would be split up. And he couldn’t let that happen.

“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later. That’s the fact. That won’t be pretty,” Tony explained, his tone almost pleading.

“You’re saying they’ll come for me?” Asked Wanda quietly.

“We would protect you,” Vision added placing a gentle hand on Wanda’s shoulder.

“Maybe Tony’s right.” Natasha spoke, turning her eyes to both Katie and Steve, trying to get them to see her point. Katie looked at her incredulously, and Steve’s mouth fell open a little in surprise. “If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-”

“Aren’t you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?” Sam frowned, interrupting her in disbelief.

“I’m just…reading the terrain.” She sighed. “We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”

“Focus up – I’m sorry, did I just mishear you, or did you agree with me?” Tony looked at her.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I want to take it back now.” She groaned but Tony was quick to cut in.

“No, you can’t retract it.” He said, waving a finger at her. “Thank you. Unprecedented. Case closed I win.”

As Katie shot some annoyed response back to Tony, something along the lines of him being ‘an egotistical, arrogant prick’, Steve felt his phone going in his pocket. He shifted slightly to pull it out and glanced down. It was a message from Peggy’s son, Michael.

‘She’s gone, in her sleep.’

As the meaning behind the words sunk in, his throat tightened, and suddenly the damned accords didn’t matter anymore. Taking a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest, he felt the familiar sting of tears in his in his eyes but he didn’t want to break down, not here, not in front of the team.

“I have to go.” He breathed out, handing the Accords to Katie before standing and leaving the room quickly without meeting anyone’s eye.

He made it to the stairwell, leaning against the railings, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down but he couldn’t. The tears began to fall and he slumped down onto one of the steps. Which was where Katie found him a few minutes later, shocked to see his shoulders were shaking. She said nothing until she had made her way down to him, wedging herself on the step beside him between him and the wall.

“Stevie?” She asked quietly inspecting his face, seeing the tears across his cheeks. “Sweetheart, what is it.”

“It’s err..” He sniffed and wiped at his nose with a finger, not looking at her “It’s Peg. She’s gone.”

“Oh, no.” Katie muttered, dropping her head. Poor Peggy. She had been quite ill over the last few weeks and the Doctors had said it was unlikely she would recover, but the both of them had been hoping to get to see her to say their goodbyes. Katie felt the tears sting her eyes as she opened up her arms and Steve immediately fell into them. Sometimes it was much too easy to forget how young and inexperienced life wise he actually was at heart and Katie simply held him, as she felt his tears hit her neck. Gently she ran her fingers through his hair as they sat still, not saying a word.

"Will you come with me to the funeral?” His voice was hoarse and muffled but she heard him anyway

“Of course I will.” she said looking at him as he pulled away, his eyes red. She reached up to wipe his face with the back of her hand as he rest his forehead against hers. “Of course I will.”

***** London was caught in the middle of a summer storm when they arrived, four days later. The wind and rain whipped Katie’s hair about her face as they stepped from the StarkJet onto the tarmac of Gatwick Airport. They made their way towards the waiting car, Steve’s large hand taking her smaller, and somewhat colder, one in his as they walked, Sam pacing at his other side. The drive to the hotel was filled mainly with Sam and Katie chatting as she pointed out various landmarks to the man, Steve remaining silent on the whole apart from chipping in when he was spoken to.

His sombre mood continued through to the evening, and when Katie told him that Sam was meeting up with some of his old Air Force buddies and suggested that the two of them head out for something to eat, he was torn between wanting to go out and try to enjoy some time with her, and this strange urge he felt to simply curl up in the relative safety of the hotel room with her, alone. And then there was the war which was raging inside him, an internal battle in the depth of his conscious and mind. He was married to Katie, he loved her, more than he’d ever loved anyone. And yet, here he was grieving so much for a woman who, when all was said and done, he hadn’t actually known for that long. Peggy was his past, Katie was his here and now, his future, his forever. So why did he feel this way?

“Stevie.” Katie’s voice gently shook him from his thoughts and he turned away from the view of the Thames he’d been observing through the floor to ceiling window of their suite and faced her. “We don’t have to go anywhere to eat if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I just, I feel…”

“Upset? Tired of pretending you’re okay?” She supplied and he gave a little huff of laugher, shaking his head as he looked at the soft, deep blue carpet of the room.

“You know, are you sure you don’t have some kind of secret mind reading power?” He looked at her once more and she smiled softly.

“No, I just know you.” She stepped forward and held out her arms and Steve moved to fall into them, his cheek resting on her head as he let out a shaky breath. “You don’t have to hide it in front of me, you know.” She pulled back to look at him, her hands cupping his face.

“I love you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” She frowned before her head tilted to the side as she considered what he had just said, suddenly understanding. “Wait, is that what’s bothering you? How I feel?”

His lack of response spoke volumes as he looked down once more, his large hands gently wrapping around her wrists, moving her hands to her side so he could lace his fingers between hers.

“Oh, Steve!” Katie shook her head and her fingers tightened around his. “You’ve every right to feel how you do, Peggy meant a lot to you.”

“She did, yeah, but so do you.” He glanced at her, his blue eyes shining with tears. “In fact, you mean more to me than anything else ever has. I just wanna be sure you know that.”

“If I didn’t know it, I wouldn’t have married you.” Katie shrugged simply. “But, Soldier, just because you love me the way you do, doesn’t mean that you never loved Peggy, or that you still can’t in some ways.” When he didn’t reply, Katie studied him for a moment, before she took a deep breath. “Steve, look at me, please.” He did as she asked and she gave him a soft smile. “It’s okay, I promise you I understand.”

He gave her another little smile as she stood on her toes to brush her lips against his. “Now, I’m gonna draw you a bath. You’re gonna get in, and you’re gonna relax.”

“Is that an order, Ma’am?” He smiled and Katie chuckled.

“Yeah, it is. And you know what else I’m gonna order? A fuck tonne of room service.”

It was Steve’s turn to chuckle as she smiled. “Then we can raid the mini-bar and bunker down for the evening. How’s that sound?”

Steve smiled, his hand reaching up to brush a piece of hair behind her ears. “It sounds okay, but would be a whole lot better if you said you were gonna join me in the bath.”

Katie smiled, her eyes flashing a little as he leaned down and captured her lips with his, the kiss slow and deep. Her arms slid up round his neck, fingers softly skating along his hairline and he let out a contented sigh as she broke away, his forehead pressing to hers, hands softly flexing on her hips. Without another word she pulled away before taking his hand, and gently leading him through the suite to the bathroom.

***** Steve didn’t sleep well that night. His mind was in overdrive, his subconscious showing him people he hadn’t seen in a very, very long time. He dreamt about Peggy, Bucky, Howard, the Howlies…and Katie. Even in dreams about his past she was there, ever present, just like she was in his life. When he woke up from a particularly vivid flashback about crashing back into the ice, he jerked bolt upright with a yell, his breathing desperate and ragged. Katie sat up beside him, her hand on his clammy back as she gently soothed him, her calm and quiet. Steve swallowed, turning to face her as she sat looking at him, concern etched on her face. She made to get out of bed to fetch him a glass of water but he stopped her, his large hand curling gently around her arm. He needed her, and he wasted no time at all in making sure she understood that. As she lay underneath him, her hands wrapped around his back, nails biting his skin, he fucked her, hard and fast, into the mattress, the relief washing over him like a tidal wave. When he evened out, he rolled onto his back, pulling her with him, his hand carding through her hair as hers traced random shapes over his chest. The pair of them lay still, gentle and loving touches and kisses being shared as they simply talking until the sun rose. And then Steve found himself back over his wife once more as he stuffed himself insider her again, only this time he made love to her, as softly and as gently as he could, needing to feel every single inch of her against him as he surrendered to that bliss that only she could ever make him feel.

They took a room service breakfast and at just before Eleven they met Sam in the Reception of the hotel and made their way to the church. Steve, who had been asked by Peggy’s family to be a pall bearer, hung back outside as Katie and Sam took their seats along the front pew of the Church. It wasn’t long before the choir began to sing and Katie turned as the procession walked down the aisle. Steve held the front right-hand corner of the coffin, carrying it with stiff steps, his cheeks wet, eyes red rimmed and full of tears. Katie felt Sam squeeze her shoulder, and she turned to face him briefly.

“My heart is breaking for him, Sam.” She whispered through her own tears as Sam dropped his hand to take hers, as they both watched the six men place the coffin at the front of the church. Sam released Katie’s hand with another gentle squeeze and they shuffled down to make room for Steve who took her left hand, seeking out her comfort and contact as he stared at the picture to the side of the coffin. It showed the Peggy he had known, back in the Forties, standing tall and proud in her uniform.

When the choir song ended they all sat, Steve staring down at his wife’s hand wrapped in his, and he began to play with her wedding and engagement rings, twirling them round her finger, his mind straying to his wedding and how he had told Katie at the toasts he was only strong because she made him that way. He was so glad she was with him now. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly felt her hand contract around his, quite hard, and he looked up at her. When he did she nodded her head in the direction of the podium. Steve’s eyes followed then did a slight double take at who was stood there.

Agent Thirteen of Shield special service and his ex-neighbour.

“Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of Shield.” The woman who’s name Steve recalled being told by Natasha was Sharon, began, sounding nervous. “But I just knew her as Aunt Peggy.”

Peggy’s Niece? Steve couldn’t believe his ears. All that time she had been living across the hall, spying on him…and she was Peggy’s niece?

“She had a photograph in her office, Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But, it was a lot to live up to. Which is why I barely told anyone we were related.” Sharon glanced down at Steve, like she was offering him some form of explanation.

“I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage at a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either.” Sharon swallowed before she continued, her voice becoming stronger. “And she said, 'Compromise when you can. But when you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty, to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say, 'No, you move.”

Katie glanced at Steve then to Sam, the three of them sharing a knowing glance. Those words were powerful, especially given the situation with the Accords. And for Steve, it was almost like Peggy was speaking to him, still giving him advice even in her death.

Despite the utter sorrow he was feeling, Steve couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment.

Thanks Peg…

*****

Katie watched as Steve leaned against the end of one of the pews, lost in his thought. He’d by passed the part where they were actually putting Peggy into the ground, saying he didn’t want to see it so instead, Katie had given him a moment to pay his respects along, waiting for him to give her some direction as to what he wanted to next.

As always, he seemed to know she was there before she even made a sound and he looked up, giving her a small smile as she walked down the middle of the church aisle towards him.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He smiled as she stopped in front of him, opening her arms to give him a hug.

“How you doing?” She asked softly, her lips brushing his temple as he pressed his face into her neck.

“I’m okay.” He assured her, pulling back. “Just, suppose it’s sunk in that she’s actually gone, you know.” Katie gave him a sad smile. “When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out that she was alive. I was just lucky to have her.”

“She had you back, too.” Katie looked at him.

“Yeah, and at least I knew where she was, unlike Bucky.”

“Don’t give up on him just yet, love.” Katie rubbed his arm as he placed a kiss to her forehead. Steve glanced once more to the front of the church and Katie followed his glance to look at the flowers placed on the alter.

“It was a nice service.” She said, her arm looping round his waist.

“Yeah, it was.” A familiar voice spoke and both of them whipped round to see Natasha strolling towards them. Steve let out a little scoff and looked down, shaking his head.

“You know, I thought I saw you before but convinced myself I was seeing things.”

“Well, I was sorta in the area.” She shrugged. There was a pause before Steve voiced what was on his mind since he’d left the compound a few days ago.

“Who else signed?” Steve asked.

“Tony. Rhodey. Vision.”

“Clint?” Katie asked.

Nat smiled slightly. “Says he's retired.”

“Wanda?” Steve looked at her.

“TBD” Nat answered. Katie looked at Steve before Nat took a deep breath. “I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. There's plenty of room on the jet.”

Steve sighed and bowed his head.

“Just because it's the path of least resistance doesn't mean it's the wrong path.” Nat continued. “Staying together is more important than how we stay together.”

“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” Katie asked and Natasha merely held her gaze.

“What are we giving up to do it?” Steve shook his head as Natasha turned to him. “I'm sorry, Nat. I can't sign it.”

“Me neither.” Katie added. “Not as they stand.”

“I know.” Nat smiled.

“Then what are you doing here?” Steve looked at her.

“Well, like I said, I was in the area.” Nat’s eyes flicked to the alter. “Plus, knowing who she is and what she did. I might never have met her but, well, it felt right to pay my respects.” She then looked back at them both. “Plus, I wanted to see you, check you were okay.” She said the last part to Steve more than Katie and he gave her a little smile as she moved to give him a hug.

****

They decided to go to the wake, and Katie took the chance to seek out Sharon where she was standing among a group of people, making polite conversation but clearly looking for a way out, which Katie was happy to provide, squeezing her elbow gently, and gesturing with her head for the blonde woman to follow her.

“I really am sorry about Peggy,” Katie began as they settled at an empty table. “She was a phenomenal woman.”

"Thank you,” Sharon said softly. “That means a lot. You know she liked you?”

Katie chuckled “She told me once or twice.” “I think she was happy that Steve found someone.” Sharon smiled. “Someone that makes him happy.”

Katie glanced at where Steve and Sam were waiting at the bar. Steve shot her a glance over his shoulder and smiled softly, before Katie returned her attention to the woman opposite her.  

“So this accords thing?” Sharon changed the subject “It’s really happening?”

“Looks that way, yeah.”

“And where do you stand on it?”

“I’m not signing” Katie shook her head. “Not the way they stand, that’s for sure. And seeing as they don’t seem to want to negotiate terms, it’s a non-starter.”

“Does Steve feel the same?”

Katie nodded. “And Sam.”

Before Sharon could question her further, Katie’s eyes flicked to a point over her shoulder and she gave a side smile as the boys approached.

“Ladies,” Sam baritone smoothly, sitting in the seat next to Sharon and setting down a drink in front of her. From the look on the blonde’s face, this surprised her, but she accepted nonetheless with a thanks. Steve sat next to Katie handing over another glass of wine, whilst pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“You okay?” She whispered before he pulled away completely. He nodded and cleared his throat.

“Yeah. I saw just telling Sam about what Nat said.”

“And I was cheering to an honourable discharge.” Sam snorted sarcastically as he raised his glass. “Again.”

“Sorry, for jumping in but, if you’re not signing the Accords then what does that mean for you all?” Sharon looked round the table

“I dunno.” Steve smiled softly, shaking his head.

“Ultimate fighting?” Sam cut in, and Steve snorted as Katie laughed. “I told you, you’d be great at it.”

"More like an early retirement.” Steve stated, a small smile playing on his face.

“Not really that early though is it, Cap?” Sam continued his ribbing “I mean like you are hundred or whatever…”

As was natural with these type of functions, a few hours later people started to leave and eventually Peggy’s children headed over to the table to say their goodbyes. As they all stood to offer their condolences once more, something Michael said about Peggy being a woman of many surprises, brought back something which had been weighing heavily on Steve’s mind since he had left the church.

When Sharon stated that she was heading back to her hotel, Steve suggested that she walked with them, but for the most of the short walk, he remained silent, brooding over his thoughts. And it was only when they reached the door to Sharon’s hotel that he spoke, telling Katie that he’d meet her and Sam in their hotel bar in a couple of minutes.

She shot him a puzzled look but he had simply shook his head in a silent instruction not to argue. So, she merely shrugged, linked her arm through Sam’s and they crossed the road and headed straight inside, crossing the lobby.

“What’s all that about?” Sam asked as he held the heavy wooden door open for her. Katie shrugged and stepped into the room.

“Beats me, he obviously has something on his mind.” She said, walking into the large wooden bar which curved along the back of the circular room. “Can I have…” she trailed off as she spotted the TV on the wall behind the bar tender, which was programmed to the BBC news.

Her eyes widened and she felt Sam stiffen besides her.

“Is this…is this live?” She asked the guy who was waiting to serve them. He nodded. “Can you turn the volume up?”

He nodded again and obliged.

“…at the moment we know that over 70 people have been injured and that number is rising. At least 12 are dead, including Wakanda’s King T'Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations.”

Katie swallowed as the picture of the suspect flashed across the screen. It looked like Bucky alright.

“Shit.” Sam said, from behind her.

“Go, get Steve.” She urged, “I need to call Tony.”

*****

“My mom tried to talk me out of enlisting, but, um, not Aunt Peggy. She bought me my first thigh holster.” Sharon smiled as they walked through the lobby.

“Very practical.” Steve nodded.

“And stylish.” Sharon smiled as she stopped by the elevator, pressing the call button before she turned to look at Steve.

“CIA has you stationed over here now?”

“In Berlin, Joint Terrorism Task Force.”

“Right. Right.” Steve nodded. “Sounds fun.”

“I know, right?” Sharon chuckled.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Steve took a deep breath, finally voicing what was on his mind. “When you were spying on me from across the hall…”

“You mean when I was doing my job?” Sharon interrupted but Steve ignored her.

“Did Peggy know?”

Sharon considered him for a moment, before she let out a gentle sigh.

“She kept so many secrets. I didn’t want her to have one from you.” Sharon lay her hand on his arm, and Steve felt the weight lift off his shoulders. He had been so scared that Peggy had been lying to him for the past few years, to hear that she hadn’t was a relief.

“Thanks for walking me back.” Sharon nodded to the elevator “Tell Katie and Sam I’m grateful.”

She moved to give Steve a hug, and he obliged, but the broke apart when they both heard footsteps running towards them.  

“Steve…you gotta see this.” Sam urged and Steve frowned, looking at him, before he spotted Katie running into the lobby, and looking round.

He moved instantly towards her, and she spotted him, hurrying straight towards him.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hands gently curling round her upper arms.

“There’s been a bomb in Vienna.” She explained, taking a deep breath. “A deliberate attack on the signing ceremony.”

Steve felt himself grow cold. “Is everyone okay?”

“I got through to Tony and they’re all safe but the King of Wakanda. He’s dead, Steve” Katie took a deep breath. “And…” She trailed off licking her lips as she took a deep breath.

“Katie, what is it?” Steve’s voice wasn’t unkind but it was firm as he looked at her, and she threw her head back, looking at the ceiling for a moment before, with a monumental effort, she looked back at him, swallowing deeply.

“It’s Bucky, Steve.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “It looks like he’s responsible.”

**** Chapter 30

**Original Posting**

[elyvorg]

Kaito Momota: Even Better In English

Here’s a noteworthy topic involving Kaito that I’ve never really talked about before on here, not even in my ridiculously lengthy commentary of the entirety of V3: his localisation differences from the original Japanese. Specifically, the fact that he’s a better-written character in the English localisation. Only very slightly, but in a way that I’m pretty sure was done deliberately by his localiser. And it’s not even that he’s different, as in the localiser having made up something entirely new about him that didn’t exist in the original – it’s just that they took what was already there in his character and tightened things up just a little to make it come across more clearly and make more sense. Admittedly I’m still pretty new to my interest in original/localisation differences in media, so I don’t have a huge host of examples to draw from, but this is something I imagine doesn’t happen very often at all.

(Disclaimer: I am not fluent in Japanese and have therefore not played through the entire game in its original Japanese form. I just have enough grasp of the language to be able to more or less understand things with the help of a dictionary, and I’ve used this to check out the Japanese versions of various bits I was interested in, which, because it’s me, included a lot of Kaito. So my knowledge of this is definitely incomplete – if I’m wrong or missing something big, do let me know! Regardless, I still think the parts I do know about are interesting enough to be worth discussing.)

Maybe let’s not have him sound like an asshole?

The first and most general thing of note is that, in Japanese, Kaito’s speech pattern is really rough and rude-sounding. Like, delinquent-street-thug, almost-makes-Mondo-sound-polite levels of rude. Granted, I’m not an expert in this as I’m not fluent, but one thing that does stand out to me as significantly worse than your average rough-teenage-male-Japanese is the word Kaito consistently uses for “you”.

Most characters with this sort of speech pattern use omae, or perhaps omee, a more slurred equivalent of it, which comes across as kind of impolite, but only in a sense that the speaker is an informal and impolite person in general, not that they’re trying to be specifically rude towards the person they’re using it for, which is usually just everyone. But rather than omae, Kaito almost always uses an even ruder variant, temee, which in my (admittedly limited) experience is only ever used when you’re actively trying to insult the person you’re using it on. It can be pretty reasonably translated as not just “you”, but more like “you jerk” or “you bastard”. And Kaito uses this for everyone. Even Shuichi and Maki, his best friends whom he literally dies for.

It’s really bizarre. Rough speech full of contractions and slurring alone would probably be fine in that it wouldn’t change how Kaito appears to treat others. But the fact that he chooses to address everybody else this way makes it come across like Kaito is an arrogant, hostile asshole who doesn’t care about anyone except himself and sees others as beneath him, which could not be further from who he is, what the actual hell.

English doesn’t have such a wide variety of speech patterns and ways to address people as Japanese, such that it’s not quite possible to translate this kind of thing directly. But what English does have that Japanese doesn’t is a much greater variety of swear-word intensities, so one way that localisation often gets across this kind of nuance in speech patterns is by making characters use an appropriate amount of swear words to match the original level of roughness. If Kaito had been localised completely faithfully, his speech would sound a lot like someone such as Mondo or Miu, full of F-bombs and other high-intensity swear words, which would give him a much more unnecessarily hostile tone. (And while Mondo is actually a decent person who cares about others in spite of the way he talks, him sounding hostile on the surface is part of the point with him, whereas it really shouldn’t be for Kaito.)

So, happily, the localiser decided not to faithfully localise Kaito’s speech pattern, because they evidently realised it was unnecessarily hindering the way he comes across in terms of the kind of person he is. As it is, Kaito’s English speech is still very casual, but his coarse language only extends to the level of lots of “damn”s and “hell”s and only a few very choice instances of “bastard” towards Monokuma, with almost nothing stronger than that. He’s still not exactly polite at all, but, unlike in Japanese, it also doesn’t sound like he’s actively trying to be rude. Which is only appropriate, considering that one of the most important things about Kaito as a person is how much he cares and is always trying to help the people around him and encourage co-operation, and that he values communication as something that’ll let him do that. Being unnecessarily rude isn’t going to help, and you’d think he should understand that!

It must be a really odd experience for someone fluent in Japanese to play through the original version of the game and have to slowly come to the realisation that Kaito’s a hell of a lot nicer than he sounds based on how he talks. Turns out actually all the “you bastard”-ing is just a weird quirk of his speech that somehow doesn’t even remotely mean he doesn’t care about the people he’s referring to like that. I also can’t help but worry that a lot of Japanese players might therefore never actually realise just how good of a person Kaito is because of this. (Which, geez, there’s already enough of a problem in English of people somehow not managing to pick up on how one of Kaito’s most defining character traits is his selflessness and desire to help everyone, and that’s with his improved speech pattern. Imagine that but worse.)

…There is one possible reason I can see for why Kaito’s Japanese speech pattern is so at odds with the kind of person he is. It could be that this is meant to be a remnant of pregame Kaito, who was an asshole who really didn’t give a fuck about anybody except himself and whom I can definitely imagine casually referring to literally everyone with temee. It seems that the Flashback Lights that created everyone’s characters somehow weren’t quite able to alter their original speech patterns, despite rewriting everything else about them to the point that, for all meaningful intents and purposes, they’re completely different people and their original selves are effectively dead. So our Ultimate Astronaut Kaito just casually accepts his speech pattern as normal for him without having ever consciously questioned why on earth he calls everyone, even his closest friends, “you bastard”.

But while I can appreciate that being there as a hint to the twist, if that is indeed the reason it’s a thing, I still think it’s a lot more worthwhile to make sure that Kaito doesn’t implicitly come across as a hostile asshole every time he opens his mouth. So I still think the localiser made a good call to change this.

Luminary of the Stars! and its less-shiny (but louder) equivalent

Let’s move on to some more specific words and phrases unique to Kaito’s character. His most iconic catchphrase, even more so than the impossible being possible, is him calling himself the Luminary of the Stars. So what was this in Japanese? Something equally impressive-sounding, right? Well… only kind of. In Japanese, he calls himself “uchuu ni todoroku Momota Kaito”. Uchuu ni todoroku literally means “to be famous in space”, so to translate that as directly as possible while having it sound right in English, I’d probably go for something like “the universe-famous Kaito Momota”.

The first thing about this is that, while it seems to fit Kaito at a glance, I’m really not sure he actually cares that much about being famous. Sure, ideally he’d like loads of people to know about him, but I don’t think that’s quite the point for him. It’s less that he wants a lot of people to superficially know who he is and more that he wants to have an influence on people and to have inspired them and changed them in some way. I really believe he would much rather have a meaningful influence on just a small handful of people than to be only superficially known by thousands or millions without any of them really caring. So “famous” isn’t quite the right word for what Kaito really wants to be.

(Hmm, though it seems I’m overlooking a double meaning in that todoroku can also mean “to roar/reverberate”, which I guess gives it a bit more of a sense of him having an impact than it would in English, even though that meaning would sound kind of odd on its own. (The French localisation of his title apparently went entirely with this meaning and translated it as something to the effect of “Kaito Momota, the roar from space!”, which… I’m kind of losing my mind trying to picture Kaito actually doing that.))

The other issue with the Japanese title, though, is that it’s just provably not true. As a mere astronaut trainee, Kaito isn’t even world-famous yet, much as he might (potentially?) like to be. And even if he was, the only way in which that would equate to him being universe-famous is if aliens don’t exist at all and so the Earth is the only part of the universe in which being famous mattered. Otherwise, if aliens do exist (and Kaito very much hopes they do!), they have undeniably not heard of him, so he isn’t famous throughout space at all. He never will be; no matter how many space missions he might go on in his future, a human lifetime just isn’t long enough to actually meet, well, probably any of the aliens that are out there, but even more definitely not all of them.

So Kaito making a repeated point of calling himself “universe-famous” in Japanese just kind of comes across like… empty boasting. Which is not remotely how Kaito actually is – yes, he talks big about his intentions, but he always wants to follow up his words and is genuinely trying to do so even if he can’t always quite manage to live up to them as much as he’d like to. By that token, he shouldn’t want to make grand claims that he knows are already completely impossible for him to ever live up to. And, sure, he always says the impossible is possible – but the thing about that catchphrase is that he’s never actually talking about things that are literally impossible, just things that might seem impossible, in order to inspire people to believe they’re not and that they can make it happen if they try.

Kaito calling himself something that he knows full well is literally never possible for him to actually be only really works as a fiction that he’s putting on: something he knows isn’t true and everyone else knows isn’t true, but maybe they’ll choose to buy into it and pretend it’s true anyway because it’s fun and maybe a little inspiring just to imagine it. It’s similar to the ridiculous stories of his childhood “adventures” he told in his FTEs that were very obviously just make-believe even though he acted like they were real – and it’s also kind of like how Himiko insistently calls herself a mage. And, well, I suppose that works well enough for Kaito’s character in and of itself.

It would have totally been an option to just directly translate this as “universe-famous” and leave things at that. That sounds perfectly fine in English, after all, and it’s less silly than the French take on it. But Kaito’s localiser apparently decided that, no, they could do better by Kaito than that. They could do much better.

“Luminary” can mean, as far as I’m aware, three different things. One is some kind of esteemed, respected figure in an academic field. So that’s sort of a match to the “famous” part, but that’s definitely the least relevant meaning here. The second and far more important meaning of “luminary” is someone who inspires and influences others. That’s exactly what Kaito is, so much, to Shuichi and Maki and even to everyone else! That’s what he cares the most about being to people – far more than he cares about being superficially “famous”. And then the third meaning is “an object which emits light”, usually specifically in terms of celestial bodies like the sun or stars. Which isn’t literally what Kaito is, but isn’t that just wonderfully fitting with his space theme and the “of the Stars” part of his title? (And it also means that any metaphors about him being “bright” or “shining” or something to that effect are especially appropriate.)

In the localisation, then, while it may sound like an overblown ridiculous fiction, Kaito’s self-proclaimed title of Luminary of the Stars is actually completely true and accurate. Nobody can deny that he’s someone who inspires and influences others! And while the “of the stars” part could be taken as an untrue exaggeration that he’s also a luminary to aliens all across the cosmos, it doesn’t have to mean that. It can simply mean that he’s associated with the stars in some way, which he is, since he’s an astronaut. If Kaito wants to call himself the Luminary of the Stars, why the hell shouldn’t he? It’s not wrong.

So I love that Kaito’s “title” was changed to this in the localisation, not only because I like being able to use the word “luminary” as a neat shorthand for the way he inspires people, or because I like to use light-based metaphors about him being inspiring like that, but also because I love how it’s more than just a fiction, even if it may seem like one at first glance. Kaito calls himself the Luminary of the Stars not just as an idealised image of him that other people can maybe buy into and be inspired by, but also as something that he’s actually trying to be. Because he wants it to be true. Because he’s trying to make it true. And because, in the end, it is more true about him than Kaito himself really believes it to be deep down.

[Edit: turns out that maybe actually the “roaring” meaning I briefly mentioned above is in fact the primary meaning a Japanese-speaker would be getting from Kaito’s original title, and with that in mind I wrote some extra thoughts about this.]

There wasn’t anything better to call you, bro

There is one notable part of how Kaito is localised that worked better and was more nuanced in the original Japanese, namely the part where Kaito begins to call Shuichi “bro” sometimes once they’ve started training together. In Japanese, while everyone usually addresses each other by their surnames since that’s normal for Japanese high school peers even if they’re pretty good friends, this part is instead Kaito beginning to call Shuichi by his given name with no honorifics, which is a sign of extremely close friendship. It’s a lot more of a big deal and a meaningful gesture than simply the English “bro”.

However, losing that nuance isn’t the localiser’s fault, because the connotations of the names and honorifics people use for each other are completely different between English and Japanese and this could never translate directly. The localiser had to do the best they could, so while “bro” doesn’t quite have the same intensity as the given-name-with-no-honorifics, it does at least come across as a sign of close friendship and trust.

Because the localiser didn’t want to make Kaito sound as ridiculously over-the-top with this as Mondo and Taka do with their whole “bro” thing, they only had Kaito call Shuichi “bro” sometimes, and he still uses Shuichi’s name a lot of the time. Which is a sensible choice, but it sadly means that a bit more nuance from the Japanese was unavoidably lost. One delightful part of the Japanese that I wish could have been replicated in English is how, at the end of trial 4 when Kaito coughs up blood in front of everyone and pushes away Shuichi’s offer of help as he leaves, he reverts to calling him “Saihara” for the first time in two and a half chapters, making that moment even more painful than it already was. In English, since Kaito only calls Shuichi “bro” sometimes, there’s nothing meaningful about him not doing so on one specific occasion and so this just can’t work.

Then during their conversation through the hangar window in chapter 5 (after half a chapter of not talking to him at all and therefore not using either name), Japanese-Kaito pointedly calls him “Shuichi” again as soon as Shuichi tries to bring up Gonta’s trial. It’s the perfect way for him to make it immediately clear that things are okay between them and they’re still friends. This even causes Shuichi to think, “Thank you for calling me by that name again”, which is just adorable – he really appreciated having someone who cared about him enough to address him that way and didn’t want to lose that! (This line was replaced in English simply by “Thank you for being my friend”, which is admittedly also adorable but somewhat misses the point the original line was making about Shuichi being glad they’ve made up and are still friends.)

Heroes and sidekicks and… small businesses?

Back to things that the localisation improved on, it’s time for the most interesting part of all this, and possibly the most bewildering thing about the Japanese (if you can believe that things could get more bewildering than casually calling your closest friends “you bastard”).

In English, Shuichi and Maki are Kaito’s “sidekicks”, and in that context, Kaito refers to himself as the “hero”. While this makes it sound like Kaito sees himself as greater than them and that they only exist to make him look good, that’s actually the exact opposite of what Kaito means by this. Kaito only makes someone his “sidekick” when he believes in their potential to be amazing – perhaps even greater than him – and his role as the “hero” in this arrangement is actually to give them as much support and guidance and inspiration to help them reach that potential as he possibly can.

Obviously, Kaito’s personal definitions of the words “hero” and “sidekick” in this context are very different to the usual ones. But there is at least some sense behind him using these words. Kaito is training his sidekicks to grow stronger and reach their full potential, so one could say he’s training them to become heroes themselves. In the regular definition of the word, sidekicks don’t only exist to back up the hero and make him look good; they’re also essentially junior heroes who are working under the main hero’s guidance to eventually one day become just as good as him. So while Kaito’s own definition of “sidekick” only partially overlaps with the usual definition of it, it’s not the worst word he could have chosen for this.

So what does Kaito call his sidekicks in Japanese? Just the English loanword saidokikku, since he’s fluent in English and would know exactly what that means? A Japanese word that means basically the same kind of thing? No – it’s “assistant”. (This is joshu, and it’s the same word that Sayaka used in DR1 when she declared herself to be Makoto’s “assistant”, so it seems to have exactly the kind of connotations you’d expect.) And rather than a “hero”, Kaito calls himself… their “boss”. (This is the English loanword bosu, the connotations of which I’m not sure about at all. For these purposes I’ll be assuming it’s equivalent to the English word, but there may be something I’m missing here.)

Which… just makes things sound very bizarrely like Kaito is running some kind of small business here. (“Boss” alone may not necessarily imply a business context, but next to “assistant”, it totally does, unless I’m missing something in the Japanese connotations.) The words Kaito used for this in English may have been a somewhat misleading representation of what he actually means by them, but it’s way worse in Japanese. Assistants only exist to help the boss out with his jobs and follow his instructions. This makes it sound not only like Kaito is greater than them and they exist to make him look good, but also that all Kaito wants to do is boss them around and have them do exactly as he says, which is even more completely not the point of what’s actually going on here. From the word “assistant” alone, there’s absolutely no connotations that they’re junior bosses, bosses-in-training who are going to learn the ropes of “business” from him and eventually graduate to bossing other people around themselves. And even if they were, being a “boss” isn’t something they would want to aspire to be that would be achieving their full potential anywhere near as much as being a “hero” is. This whole thing is so much more bewilderingly removed from the actual point of Kaito’s training and guidance that I find it difficult to buy that even someone as ridiculous as him would have ever thought these words made sense to use.

…I will give these terms one thing over the English ones, and that’s the implication that the boss can’t be a boss on his own. Heroes can be heroes even if they don’t have sidekicks, at least in the usual definition and not Kaito’s – yet one of Kaito’s problems is that he’s afraid he’s not really a hero if his sidekicks don’t actually need him. And, well, a boss can’t be called a “boss” any more if he doesn’t have anybody to boss around.

(Okay, at this point I’m going to have to stop and point you towards my lengthy post about Kaito’s hero issues, because I’m starting to get deep into said issues and rather than repeating a lot of what I said in that post I’m going to somewhat assume people already know what I’m talking about.)

So, consider Kaito’s Harmonious Heart event and it’s key line, “I can’t show weakness in front of my sidekick”. Obviously, he’s wrong, and he should be able to feel safe showing weakness to his sidekicks and know that doing so doesn’t constitute failing them or make him any less of a hero. Part of why sidekicks are there – in the regular definition of the word – is so that they can help the hero out with things he’s not strong enough to handle on his own! Helping the hero when he needs it is supposed to be one of the points of a sidekick!

But, while it’s painful that Kaito manages to miss the point here so badly, it makes sense that he does, given the fact that he’s seeing himself as a hero. The core of Kaito’s issues is that he has an extremely childlike view on heroes and believes he needs to be completely invincible and perfect in order to truly be a hero who can inspire people. He has no grasp of the concept that the most inspiring heroes are really the ones who struggle and suffer but manage to win in the end despite it all, and therefore that having weaknesses doesn’t stop him from being a hero at all.

In Japanese, this scene has nothing to do with heroes; this line is instead something to the effect of “a boss can’t show weakness in front of his assistant”. And… this entire concept of Kaito’s issues doesn’t work nearly as well when put in this bizarre context of a small business that his Japanese choice of words brings to mind. Strength and weakness aren’t nearly as much the point in a business setting. Technically, a boss can show as much weakness to his assistants as he likes, because they work for him and so he can do whatever he wants. If anything, it should be the assistants who are afraid of showing weakness to their boss in case he decides to fire them for not being good enough. Obviously none of this applies to Kaito’s definition of “boss”, but then it’s just very difficult to grasp where he even got the misguided idea that he in particular can’t show weakness (even though it’s fine if others do), because it sure as hell wasn’t from that word. And it should be even more obvious to Kaito that his “assistants” are allowed to help him when that’s literally meant to be the point of an assistant. It’s right there in the word! They’re there to assist him! (And it’s equally right there in the word in Japanese; the first kanji in joshu is the kanji for “help”.)

So, yes, Kaito being completely misguidedly convinced that he’s not allowed to show weakness to Shuichi is the whole point of his issues, but it makes so much less sense that he would actually misunderstand this so badly in Japanese when he frames things using such bizarre terms. It only makes so much sense in English because he’s making it about heroes in his head.

I remember way back, when I was still figuring out Kaito’s issues, that for a while I was stuck at “it’s so tragic that he believes heroes can’t ever show weakness to their sidekicks or they’d be a failure; what kind of hero stories has he been reading to make him think that?” and assuming that was basically a rhetorical question with no real answer – until I realised that, wait, there was evidence of him actually buying into these sorts of too-simplistic hero stories and that this was the entire point. But if I’d seen the Japanese version of the game instead, I’d have just got stuck on the unanswerable question of “why the hell does he think bosses can’t show weakness to their assistants?????” and I’d probably never have figured out Kaito’s issues any further than that at all. Which would be a crying shame.

And, see, these terms of “boss” and “assistant” could just have been translated directly. They have direct enough English equivalents, so there’d have been nothing actively wrong with leaving things like that. But rather than just settling for that, evidently Kaito’s localiser looked at this, realised what the intended point was, and decided that they could get that point across much better using different terms, so they did.

More heroes and not-quite-heroes

There’s more to this hero thing than just bosses and assistants, though, because there’s a couple of other contexts outside of the sidekick thing in which Kaito talks about heroes in English.

Perhaps the one most pointedly relevant to Kaito’s issues is the part where he’s talking about how he looked up to Ryoma because of his own passion for tennis. He describes Ryoma as a “hero”, which is a word choice that’s absolutely vital for understanding why Kaito was so harsh on Ryoma’s weakness and never even realised he could maybe help with it until it was too late. Because that’s exactly the same unrealistically perfect standard for heroes that Kaito holds himself to: heroes aren’t allowed to be weak, ever, or they’re a failure to anyone who ever looked up to them. And in Japanese, Kaito’s line about Ryoma also calls him a “hero” (literally the English loanword hiiro). But the connection to Kaito’s own issues is a lot less clear, since the notion of Kaito not being allowed to show any weakness in order to keep inspiring people is instead framed with the word “boss”.

Yet I’m so certain that this connection, this ridiculously high standard that Kaito only holds himself and Ryoma and nobody else to, is still the point and something very much intended by the original writers. Kaito needed a very, very good reason to not be willing to help Ryoma with his obvious weakness when he usually always tries to help anyone weak and suffering – because if Kaito had reached out to him, Ryoma would probably not have died. And tennis is not the most obvious choice for Kaito’s favourite sport, since it’s not a team sport focusing on communication and co-operation. So the only sensible reason for the out-universe writers to have made tennis be his favourite sport anyway has to be that they wanted Kaito to be uncharacteristically harsh on Ryoma and only Ryoma, and the way to do that with Kaito is to make it so that he used to look up to him. On the surface this would seem like an entirely counterintuitive way to make someone want to help a particular person less than normal – but not if it’s Kaito, because of his issues about heroes. The writers had to have known what they were doing.

So it’s bewildering to me that the writers didn’t then realise that they should make this connection more apparent by having Kaito use the same word for both himself and Ryoma in this context. Obviously it makes no sense for him to think of Ryoma as a “boss” – but instead, surely, this would make the writers think that Kaito referring to himself as a “boss”, in the “can’t show weakness in order to inspire people” sense, is completely ridiculous, and maybe actually “hero” is a better word for it, just like he used for Ryoma.

(And it’s absolutely wonderful to me that, despite that the original writers who consciously wrote Kaito this way somehow missed the obvious thing to do here, his localiser got it and fixed things to be the way they always should have been.)

Another time Kaito talks about heroes is that he describes himself as a hero when he’s announcing his Brilliant Plan to help everyone escape in chapter 5 (the plan that’s really him desperately trying to prove himself to Shuichi after the mess that was trial 4). And this is also “hero” in Japanese, for once – the only time Kaito calls himself a “hero” and not a “boss”.

There might be some logic behind this. In that analysis post about Kaito’s hero issues I linked, at one point I talked about how there’s essentially two different kinds of hero Kaito’s thinking of – the luminary kind of hero who inspires people through words, and the action kind of hero who Gets Shit Done. In English, Kaito makes no lexical distinction between these two types of heroes, even though there’s almost certainly a meaningful distinction in his mind, since he looks up to Shuichi for being an action hero and feels like his own luminary brand of heroism doesn’t match up to that (even though it totally does; give yourself and your strengths more credit, Kaito!). In Japanese, these are two different concepts in Kaito’s head – the luminary kind is a “boss”, while the action kind is a “hero”, aka the thing Kaito is trying really hard to finally be when he comes up with his totally-not-haphazard-and-aimless escape plan.

But even so, I feel like using two different words for this is the wrong call. If we do that, we lose out on all the fun implications of Kaito questioning whether Shuichi is really his sidekick during trial 4. Said implications are that Kaito is afraid Shuichi isn’t really a sidekick because he’s already a hero and doesn’t need Kaito at all. In Japanese, Kaito still questions whether or not Shuichi is really his “assistant”, which he still actually means in his own Planet-Kaito definition of “someone who needs my support” – but because of the word he’s using, that doesn’t then come with the implication that actually Shuichi’s already a… “boss”? Because the inspiring type of person that the word “boss” equates to in Kaito’s head is not the same thing as the person-who-gets-shit-done that Shuichi is undeniably being during this trial – the notion that Shuichi’s the real “hero” here seems like it has a lot less to do with this whole “boss” and “assistant” thing that Kaito is questioning.

(So the localiser realising what’s going on with Kaito in trial 4 and changing his boss-and-assistant thing to actually be about heroes in order to better tie everything together and get that across was, again, the best call.)

The last context in which Kaito talks about heroes in English is when he’s talking about stories: telling Shuichi and Maki in chapter 3, shortly after calling himself a hero, “Each of you are the heroes of your own stories! So act more like it!”, and saying in the chapter 5 hangar conversation, referring to himself, “It’d be a crappy story if the hero gave up so easily!”. On these occasions, in Japanese, he uses the term “main character” (shujinkou) instead of “hero”. Which is appropriate given the context about stories, I suppose – but then again, the word “hero” also equally brings to mind the idea of fiction, and, since heroes are usually main characters, can be taken to mean basically the same thing in the contexts Kaito’s saying it here.

And since it’s the word “hero” in English, that means these lines can also be linked into Kaito’s hero thing in ways that they can’t quite in Japanese. By saying that Shuichi and Maki are the heroes of their own stories, he’s essentially telling them – just like I described when talking about the connotations of “sidekick” earlier – that they’re heroes-in-training who will reach their potential and become full-fledged heroes one day! Which doesn’t connect at all in Japanese when they’re just his “assistants” who are also “main characters”. Not only that, but the fact that Kaito’s already referring to them as heroes carries with it the slight implication that maybe they don’t really need support from him as his “sidekicks” and can already manage on their own without him. That is indeed one of Kaito’s biggest worries going forward, at least with regards to Shuichi, which has already very vaguely begun to surface there in early chapter 3. And that doesn’t work in Japanese either, because that’d be him worrying that Shuichi’s already a “boss” or something; see my point about trial 4 above.

Meanwhile, Kaito continuing to describe himself as a hero in late chapter 5, despite the utter mess that was his “heroic” escape plan earlier that chapter, is a rather lovely moment because it shows that he’s still willing to give himself a chance as a hero and hasn’t given up on his ability to make a difference despite everything. It could even be taken to be relevant to his standards for heroes, since he’s talking about what makes a hero story good – and all he’s saying is that heroes need to not give up, not necessarily that they need to not have weaknesses at all. So this could maybe be a sign of some very important growth from him on that front! This line has an impact in English that just isn’t quite there as much in Japanese when he’s only calling himself a “main character”, rather than a “hero”… or a “boss”, I guess, since that’s the one where he’s not supposed to have weaknesses and would make absolutely no sense in this context about stories, geez.

My overall point for this section being: in Japanese, Kaito uses three different words in different contexts for what he simply calls a “hero” every time in English. While there’s some kind of logic behind his choice of a different word each time, it still feels like the Japanese writers seriously missed a trick by not realising they could tie all these things together. Having him use the exact same word for it in English every time just makes the core point of Kaito’s issues so much more cohesive, even though they’re still exactly the same issues that he has in Japanese. I absolutely love that his localiser realised this and made these changes even though they really didn’t have to.

In conclusion: how even.

With the number of times I’ve gleefully used the word “luminary” to describe Kaito being inspirational, or talked about his standards for heroes in a way that is deeply connected to how he behaves in front of his sidekicks, it is so, so strange to me that none of that is even possible when talking about him in Japanese. Kaito is still the same character in Japanese; nothing meaningful about his personality or his actions or his beliefs are different (well, as far as I know from my limited knowledge) – but talking about him and the way he is just makes so much more sense in English.

Let me describe it like this. If you’d somehow shown me both the Japanese and the English versions of Kaito’s story without any prior context and asked me to guess which one was the original and which one was a localised adaptation (assuming I was fluent in Japanese, and also assuming the characters being Japanese wasn’t a pretty big hint)… I would have been dead certain that the English was the original, and then it was localised into Japanese afterwards. It reads exactly like some Japanese localiser saw the English version, didn’t quite pick up on all the nuance of Kaito’s hero thing and how vital that was, and so when they localised it into Japanese they changed a few things without really realising that that’d dilute the point and make it less cohesive – not exactly out of bad intent, but simply because they didn’t understand it well enough to know better, since they’re not the original writers.

It’s utterly incredible to me that the truth is the exact opposite of that. It’s incredible that the original Japanese writers somehow wrote this whole thing about Kaito’s issues regarding heroes (and I really am like 99% certain they knew exactly what they were doing here and it’s not me just reading too much into it) but somehow didn’t realise that actually having him use the word “hero” in more contexts, including the most important one, would help that along and tie it together more.

But not only that, it’s also incredible to me that this managed to get fixed in the localisation. I think it’s amazing that Kaito’s localiser was able to look at everything about him in the original version of the story, understand what the main point was even though it’s a lot less clear in that version and they’re not the person who wrote it, and then decide, “You know what? This is already really good, but I’m going to tighten it up and make it just a tiny bit even better.”

Mad, mad props to whoever that person is – I’m so glad that they and not one of the other localisers who worked on the game happened to get assigned to Kaito. If someone less perceptive than them had been given the job, everything would have remained the still-good-but-not-quite-so-cohesive jumble that it is in Japanese, and ultimately, I’d understand and appreciate Kaito’s character significantly less than I do today.