#(I have absolutely 0 shame in sharing these too and I ALSO have 0 shame about my own ~~conception~~)

[koushirouizumi]

{Reference}/{Starting Master-list} - Donor Children History in Japan

(Gathered by me for reference; It's been a while since I researched this, but maybe you'll become Informed by following these {and I do plan to search around again}...)

Also re-blogging for my own reference since I'm, you know, a Donor child, and wanting to research more about how the laws surround such in other countries, including for the series I create fan works for.

(Some of the language may lean slightly bionormative in the reporting, so it is important to keep this in mind. Please note I am compiling these for my own reference, too.)

Children born through Artificial Insemination Speak Up {2003} "The Ministry of Health reports that {Donor children} births have been reported since the mid-seventies in Japan. While statistics record about 10,000 such children, the numbers could be much higher."

"There is no correct record on the number of AID children {Donor children, etc} as laws now do not stipulate that parents and doctors record such births. We contend the actual numbers could be between 100 to 200 a year," says Tomoko Kashiwage, a director in the infertility section at the ministry.

(...) Experts are now supporting the passage of a law in 2004 that would allow children above 15 years the right to the disclosure of personal details of donors of sperm and eggs in their birth.

(Yuri Hibino) Attitudes towards Disclosure of Children’s Genetic Origins among Japanese Patients Using Assisted Reproductive Technology {2014} (PDF) Keyword: Donor conception; Right to know; Infertile patients; Japan "In Japan, a 2003 government report recognized the right of children born via donor-assisted conception to know about their genetic origin, including identifying information about the donor [2]. However, this right has {not} been enacted into law(...)"

first, woman gives birth using egg from anonymous donor {2017 Mar}

"(...) Although there have been earlier cases of children conceived using a husband’s sperm and eggs donated by sisters or friends"...

{Tradition} denies Surrogacy {2017 May};

"Most major media covered the March 22 Tokyo news conference where Sachiko Kishimoto of the nonprofit organization Oocyte Donation Network (OD-Net) explained how a woman in her 40s had recently given birth to a daughter who had been conceived using the woman’s husband’s sperm and an egg from a third party. Though there have been instances in Japan of women giving birth by using the eggs of friends or relatives, this was the first publicized case in Japan of a baby successfully coming to term with the help of an anonymous egg donor."

"(...) there are no laws governing infertility treatments using donated eggs from third parties"...

"Japan tops the world in the number of women who undergo infertility treatment, while at the same time it also has the lowest success rate." (...)

[koiiiji]

Hiii ik it’s kinda random but there’s just not enough joker from windbreaker posts so I’d like to request any nsfw scenarios pleasee 🙏🏼

i absolutely like the idea that im answering to requests from like 2022… im so sorry guys!!!😭🙏🏻

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warnings : not safe for work links ; smut ; maybe ooc

i always had a thought that joker is a gentle giant type of guy. yes, he maybe a little cold sometimes, or emotionless, but its only because of how he was raised. when it comes to his partner, especially in bed he maybe too serious sometimes, starting from the fact that he makes sure if you actually want to have sex, so he makes sure if you really into process. it also makes sense because i imagine joker as a really passionate partner in bed, he definitely have some experience, so he knows exactly how to move, how to curl his fingers in each part of your body, how to make you feel like it’s the best sex ever. in return he wants you to be same passionate about process, its not a problem if you don’t have much experience, just let yourself enjoy your bodies and feelings.

i imagine him as a service dom, and what i mean by this - is that he will be mostly on top, enjoying your moans and how he makes you feel good. he will take your wishes, if you want him to go faster, or harder, but each time he knows exactly how to make it even better, and makes you forget the words.

joker doesn’t like to bring any type of rough stuff in your life, he had seen enough violence and roughness in his work, so your sex would never include any type of degradation, pain or discomfort, as i said he wants sex to be something that comes from both sides. and from here - his «no in bed» is quickies, degrading, anything connected to rough slapping, spitting, choking and etc.

also he have 0 shame when he is with you. i mean what for? you saw all of him, and he have nothing to hide from you, so after sex he would stand up in all his height and glory, pull off condom from his dick and with naked ass will go to bathroom, and will walk around your apartment naked until you two get into bed to sleep. yes, after sex he likes to sleep naked. aftercare with joker usually contains things like bringing you water if you asked, rubbing your back or tummy. honestly he is up to many stuff if it’s connected to bed. he is lazy big cat after sex and have 0 intention to do anything but holding you in his big hands.

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guys!! please let me know if you like my works or not, maybe i should add something or remove, or add different characters, and don’t be shy to send requests and share your ideas, because i feel like i may run out of consepts☝🏻🤓🤍🩰🕯️🍧

[triplethreat-triplea]

I have thoughts and ideas for fics that I will never write so I'm putting them out into the world for The People to take inspiration from!

Detective Conan/Magic Kaito:

1. Shameless - Both Kuroba and Kudo have absolutely zero (0) shame. Kuroba is Kuroba and Kudo had to pretend to be a 7 year old. He absolutely weaponized that despite his initial shame, and got over it because of the strategic advantage.

2. Change is Hard - Kudo, as a teenager again after the APTX cure, has a hard time breaking childlike habits he formed as Edogawa Conan. (Inspo for this here on Tumblr). I know there are already fics like this (one is linked under the post attached) but I need more.

3. Who, or What, is this Child??? - POV outsider. The police think that Conan is a child agent or something. Maybe they think he's cursed, or a shinigami. Just debating, sharing ideas of what is up with Conan.

“Is he even human?”

He's very unethical, someone overhearing him explaining things would be concerned.

He says stuff that he should not know and then just does not explain, a very fun habit to have to deal with.

He just has so much audacity for a small child.

Many of the police just accept that he knows everything but when they go to him to confirm anything he just pulls out the “i'm just a kid, how would I know” like the little shit he is.

His kicks too, what do they make of that? Is he just super strong (a point to the non-human argument)? or do they just not question why he has shoes that enhance his kick strength?

He knows absolutely too much about everything/anything and uses TV or Hawaii as an excuse.

4. Let the Maze of my Design Carry you on - Someone realizing how Conan is the one behind stopping/solving so many things. POV outsider. (Title from this song).

5. Wounded - Outsider POV, literally anyone notices the injuries Conan gets doing crazy shit. But they don't know he does crazy shit, so they jump to conclusions.

6. Cafe Gossip - Amuro’s coworker/usual patrons notice that he hates this one guy that comes in sometimes and that Amuro is basically a father to this kid that comes in sometimes. POV outsider. 2+2+1: 2 times Amuro was familiar with a kid, 2 times Amuro was familiar with a guy, and 1 time the kid and guy came in together (and were a family with Amuro).

7. Going on After Completing Your Life Goal - Kaitou KID finds the Pandora gem and destroys it in front of the organization that wanted it for immortality. Now that he has completed his mission he has to find out how to go on with his life without a looming threat or an ultimate goal. He continues his shenanigans at school but now it lacks a bit of heart. After the initial rush of destroying the gem he feels that his life is a bit lacking and without direction. He eventually learns to live life in the present with his friends and to give his life a bit of meaning with human connections that he neglected a bit when he was KID.

8. The Price of Opening Pandora's Box - Do whatever with this title as a prompt for Magic Kaito.

9. Who You Gonna Call? Ghostbusters! - Kudo's friends think he is a ghost due to the fact that he just vanishes sometimes. We, the audience know that's because the APTX cure ran out, but he seemingly vanished while in the backseat of a car that was driving on the highway. Or from a dark hallway with only a fleeting touch. Add on the rumors of his death after he went missing, and boom! Ghost Kudo.

(I also like any POV outsider fics, there aren't nearly enough in any fandom. Nor time travel/time loop fics in non time related media.)

(Different fandoms are in different posts so take a gander at my blog for ideas if you like: Debut or Die, Omniscient Readers Viewpoint, or BBC Merlin!

[cupidspup]

I had an anonymous person ask me some questions about pacifiers, how to get then discreetly and stuff so here's my answer!! :D

Hi! Firstly I wanna say I really admire you asking around for advice and good job for that it's very brave! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ I'd like to say that we as the agere community are very focused on educating others but are also known to take care of others in the community and it makes me so happy that you trust me to help educate you! And to everyone who sees this yes, I am more than willing to answer any questions you may have :> this is my personal blog and safe space but I love chatting and I love helping others too! (Just know if it's advice or questions I'll answer when I do have energy :3) As a person whos nuerodivergent and has social/general anxiety i know it can be really hard and scary to do things! anywho! I'm real happy you asked and I'm happy to answer!

Yes, I do use a pacifier! I actually have a little collection if anyone ever wants to see hehehe૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა anywho! Yes it is genuinely comforting and soothing to me! I usually regress between the ages of 0-6 but usually I'm very very small. I also tend to want a reason to be quiet and just use my random noises when im small too! It also makes me feel better about myself and my self esteem! I think I look cute with it and since I live with my partner/cg/little he thinks it's cute too ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶) The feeling of it generally feels full if that makes any sense? Everyone uses pacifiers for their own reasons but these are mine! If you're more of a chewer I definitely recommend getting a teething ring especially the ones with water in it (please be careful!!) It's a lil difficult to puncture a pacifier but not impossible either!

Still relating to pacifiers from above ^ please don't ever let anyone shame you out of having a pacifier or a teething ring or anything really, it hurts to know you have been ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა if it soothes you and isn't a problem to anyone else then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it and at the end of the day, it's your regression not anyone else's. You don't owe anyone anything ever (of course basic mutual respect but still you know what I mean-) pacifiers and teething rings and such are all your choice! Never let that become someone else's choices for you!!

As for obtaining one!! A lot of places on instagram offer discreet packaging! I can recommend my favorite places to buy if you guys ever want recommendations!! But anywho!! When I was a minor living in an unsafe home I did one of two things: given the money to a trusted person and had them send it to their house or another person's house that I trusted OR bought it and sent it to a safe person's house! Of course I told the person what I was doing and I did it with their permission!! They would give it to me when we saw each other :3 please do not use pacifiers meant for real biological babies though!! They will hurt and possibly damage your teeth! If you do ever resort to that (which is highly not recommended) please use it very minimally, do not fall asleep with it and only use it for absolute emergencies. Same goes for other little gear such as sippy cups!

If you don't have a safe person you can tell and have some sort of situation worked out with them I am very very sorry and there isn't much I can do to help :< but!! What I can do is tell you what I did before I had any little gear! I would typically suck on the knuckle of my index finger! Just yknow, curl my finger and suck on that! Of course please don't do that too hard or bite it was only something to soothe and keep myself satisfied for the meantime! :]

That is all I can say for now! I hope everything I said cleared up stuff for you and I hope you can get into a better household soon!! I know it can be hard but know that your regression is a sacred thing, protect it and share it with people you trust 🩷 that I'd the best advice I can give you as an adult regressor (who has many regrets 💀)

With that said!

You are loved and you are cared for, you're always welcome on my blog :]

𓂋

- ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ Kewpie

[minniiaa]

I AM FROTHING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!11!!!!1!!!!!! YOU GOT ME BARKING

First of all, thank you ^-^ <333

You've not only satisfied my simp heart with bottom Law but also my yearn for and emotionally constipated Law being proven wrong

Second, I have more ideas or course :D

This is a gigantic leap from my previous… contributions, but I want to share my love for something I enjoy just as much as my little guys (grown ass men) getting railed in such a way it puts the trolley problem to shame. Sweet, sweet aftercare, I dunno what about it that enthralls me but just- like- I- jsbdudbskospaks-

It's an honest 50/50 whether the aftercare situations I think up actually comes after sex or if it's all I think of. It has me by the throat man.

Something about Law feeling safe enough to tell Luffy when he's had enough without feeling the need to force or threaten Luffy, or not holding out far past his limit so Luffy doesn't “get bored of him” makes my brain melt and mold back into the shape of a sea urchin.

OH, MORE THOUGHTS!!! >:0

Here me out, modern au, Law comes back to their apartment more tired than he's ever been after the longest shift he's pulled in a while. All he wants, more than anything, is their bed, screw the shower, he couldn't stand long enough to take one and he knows the moment his knee bends further than what's needed to walk his body will collapse. So he heads straight to bed, unsurprisingly, Luffy is awake and anticipating Law's return to give him his “goodnight kiss” that became the only constant thing Luffy upholds. Law tosses himself into bed as soon as he gets his pants off, leaving them on the floor along with his shirt, and Luffy is immediately on him. Not to Law's dismay, he knows he won't last long but the fact that Luffy still wants him when he's coated in sweat and deadweight kind of turns him on. He's right, he doesn't last when Luffy eats him out while running only the pad of his thumb up and down the base of Law's shaft, and GOD does everything *hurt. Law doesn't get that post-nut daze, instead he's hit with an ache deep in every muscle and bone from the souls of his feet to the back of his head that he has no choice but to succumb to. So badly does he want to feel Luffy all over him, all up in him, but he can't ignore his limit if he tries. He gets what he wants anyways, without having said a word Law's exhausted body is crushed by the concrete hold Luffy calls a hug, and Law couldn't be more grateful for Luffy's mysterious workout routine. It's the silent communication of Law's needs that relaxes him further, not needing to rely on his voice for Luffy to know, to understand, his pain makes it all the more easier to just let Luffy take care of him.

You got me out here writing paragraphs man, you've changed my chemical components on a spiritual level lol. Also, I stand by that my headcanon dumps are a bit much, so just know that I don't expect a masterpiece response every time. I MEAN THEY ARE ENCOURAGED CAUSE GYATT DAMN, would ABSOLUTELY eat your writing while dressed better than for a wedding and a napkin in my lap, but I dunno, I don't want you to think I'm trying to make you pump out tailored content for me. Definitely just like my own self-consciousness wanting me to make that clear sorry lol I think this might be the largest headcanon dump I've shared.

-💫💀💫

ANONNN I AM SO SORRY I JUST CHECKED MY INBOX AND SAW THIS BEAUTY!!

I am sooo glad you enjoyed my little oneshot I wrote and it scratched the itch of your last message. I just took that idea and RANNNNNN with it I have to admit.

I am also super happy that you came up with your own head canons omfg I'm frothing. I definitely can't write a whole story this time, but you inspired me to add some of my own little head canons because it was just too good!

You are hilarious and I am picturing you dressed for a wedding waiting for dinner but it's actually just my writing. Don't feel self-conscious, I live for this shit. You can leave headcanons whenever though I can't promise I'll be able to get back asap, I will always slurp it up and add my own thoughts if it's something that speaks to me. Maybe one day you'll decide to share your own stories and I will be the one who gets to leave my headcanons in there! :)

With that being said, here are my thoughts:

I loveee Lulaw aftercare (and just aftercare in general cause who doesn't like the sweet moments after getting your insides rearranged), especially your situation. I'm deceased at the thought of Luffy always waiting up for Law's goodnight kiss. Does he do it because he wants Law to be the last thing he sees every night before bed? Or because he wants to make sure that he's awake if Law needs him after his long hard days at work? Maybe both, Luffy is self-indulgent and also wants to do whatever he can to make Law feel loved and comfortable.

Sometimes Law needs Luffy to fuck him until he forgets about how shit his day was and how maybe he lost a patient and he just needs his mind and body filled with nothing but Luffy who can push him to the edge in unimaginable ways. Luffy never says no, he could eat Law for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He just loves watching the way his normally tense and irritated lover falls apart underneath him. Other times, Law just needs his partner to give him a quick and much-needed release before pulling him into his arms and giving him the attention he craves when he can barely think straight after a stressful day, his body screaming at him to just shut off and let go.

Luffy knows Law so well that he never has to tell him what he wants which is great because Law is terrible about asking for things. He never wants to be a burden, never wants to feel like he's taking too much from Luffy when he's already given him everything he's ever wanted and more. Luffy feels Law's body going limp after he comes, how he sighs contently and buries his face into his chest. Law just needs him there to recharge him, to soothe his weary body and soul and Luffy loves him so much he would never think of doing anything different.

Luffy knows exactly what Law needs in those quiet moments in the dark. He runs his hands over Law's aching body, healing him with his soft touches. Soft kisses are pressed against his skin, no intent to go anywhere further behind them even though Luffy yearns to feel Law around him, to hear his pretty sounds echoing through his ears. That can wait for another time, right now he will just satisfy Law with his gentle caresses. He wraps his arms around Law, pulling his weary form into his arms, so close that he begins to forget where he ends and Law begins just the way he likes it.

Law usually gets so flustered and cranky when Luffy spills his feeling out but they've been doing this for so long now that Luffy knows Law will let him say whatever he wants when they're like this and he takes full advantage of it. He plays with Law's hair, telling him how much he loves him, how he's so lucky to have him in his life, how he wants to be with him forever. He lists all of the thing he loves about him-his compassion, dedication, strength, and beauty.

Law loves the way Luffy's voice sounds when he whispers these sweet nothings into his ear. He's so calm and quiet, so different from his normally loudmouthed self. Sometimes he responds, though usually only with a "thank you" or "I love you". Words are hard for him even though he feels just as strongly for Luffy. It brings him comfort knowing that Luffy never expects him to say anything back, that he does this simply because he wants to.

Once, in a fit of insecurity, Law asked Luffy if he feels neglected because Law is so terrible with words and even though he tries, he just can't express how he feels inside. Luffy simply smiled at him and said "I know how much you love me. You don't need to say it. I just like to tell you because sometimes you get in your head like you are right now and forget". Another time, he apologized to Luffy for being too exhausted to move a muscle after Luffy went down on him. Just like before, Luffy smiled and said "Making you feel good makes me feel good. Taking care of you makes me happy."

After that, Law realized he might just be the luckiest man in the world. He stopped worrying about if Luffy wanted or needed more from him on these days when he he couldn't give anymore. He graciously took all the affection he was given, allowing Luffy's calming voice to lull him to sleep, saying words Law would never be able to accept were all for him.

That's all for today, sorry if it was a little messy I am too tired to proofread any further. Thank you once again for the food for thought <3333

[asher-agere]

Huh… you know I could see 15~16 Dazai not being that embarrassed. But I think younger Dazai and serious Dazai (17~18) would be superrrr embarrassed…

But anyways I have yet another request!! Can you share your thoughts on Fyodor with a little who is hyperactive but is also very physically weak so they’re just constantly moving while their body is aching so bad because of all the physical activity. But they like need to move when they are sitting/laying down they can’t focus because of an immense need to move around (I hope this makes sense, I am not the best at explaining the various weird things I experience…)

- Fyodor Enjoyer

How I see it Age 15/Stormbringer Dazai is like a teen desperately trying to be popular. Like yeah he loves these pretty girls in the anime, but revealing that? So embarrassing. Dark Era Dazai is just depressed, he cares but he doesn’t have the energy to care that much. Then ADA Dazai just has no shame whatsoever. He’d watch it at full volume just to annoy Kunikida

But yes I can absolutely do that! I am in fact sick at the moment, so I have energy to move around, but an awful headache making me regret even trying. So I can understand what you’re saying!

Caregiver Fyodor + Hyper Achy Little

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ִֶָ࣪☾. Fyodor is also not the most active person ever! His anemia makes him tire out very very quickly. However unlike his little one he’s perfectly content to just sit around. He is far from hyper. So I think he’d be sort of confused seeing the baby moving around even though it hurts them. He hates seeing his baby hurt, so why do they keep moving around so much?

ִֶָ࣪☾. However he wouldn’t really question or judge! He’d try convincing them to sit still, even if it’s a losing battle. He’d offer to hold them and gently rock and bounce them. And while that does sound nice, it’s not what the hyper baby wants! Fyodor can expect it not to work, but he’ll still try every single time. He doesn’t like seeing his baby in pain

ִֶָ࣪☾. Fyodor would find things for them to do that require movement? But sort of minimal! Like all sorts of fidget toys they can play with. Keep their hands busy while they don’t have to move their entire body! Much less painful, but of course not enough to entertain the baby permanently

ִֶָ࣪☾. The ideal solution that he can think of is a baby play mat! (Gym mat, play gym… Let me just get a picture)

Something like this! All the little one has to do is lay there and there’s so much to do! There’s things to reach up and grab, there’s a mirror to look into! And it makes everything look super funny. Some of them even have little feet pianos :0 This is like the dream to have one of these honestly. Fyodor would definitely get one!

ִֶָ࣪☾. Fyodor would be very pushy with pain meds or any meds that can help them work through the pain. He doesn’t want his baby hurting! And while medicine is very yucky pain is even more yucky right? Plus he’d make them some nice sweet milk as a reward for taking medicine! It’s definitely worth it

ִֶָ࣪☾. If the baby is going to insist on moving around despite him trying to get them not to, then he’s going to encourage things that tire them out quickly! If they insist on doing things that hurt them, may as well make it so they’ll be doing it for a shorter time period right? He’ll let them tire themselves out so they’ll be content to just come and lay down with him getting some nice cuddles!

ִֶָ࣪☾. If watching the baby push themselves ever gets to be too much he has a solution! He doesn’t mind being more controlling when it’s needed. He’ll grab a blanket and swaddle them up super tight! Moving around is no longer possible, he just gets to hold them and softly hush and coo at them. No more pain, he’s got them now

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Yay! At first I was struggling a bit for how he’d react to this, because I don’t think Fyodor would like a hyper regressor in general, but as I started writing I kept getting more and more ideas! Thank you for the fun request as usual Fyodor Enjoyer!

On a note separate from the request I’m sick sadly :( But that means I’m gonna be chronically online! Yay! Requests are very much so appreciated. If I run out of requests I might write some stuff about sick babies… Projecting? What’s that? Never heard of it. Anyway have a super awesome wonderful day! You all deserve all the hugs and love ever!

[katyspersonal]

Sometimes I still worry that I've lost a source of my power when I've lost him. It will be a full year at the end of August.

I said what initially driven me towards him was a kind of pain and loneliness I knew very well, but it was also courage. He could say anything despite knowing how much hate he'd get for it, that it would guarantee his unpopularity within the fandom despite having incredibly good headcanons and useful research. Despite nobody really supporting him besides occasional incels and radfems mistaking him for their kind - either being his enemies too. He knew better than to consider enemy of his enemy his friend. It felt like he was against... everyone? At some point? Not surprising that he ended up with finally finding the only person to understand him in a saint spirit of sorts. However, in my culture, the lone warrior in the field is said to be a hero. Fighting because he feels like he must, despite 0 chances to accomplish anything.

I resented conformists all over the internet who, if they ever got doubts or straight up controversial opinions, would not dare to speak them to "not lose platform :'((((". They'd still nod their heads for what the most intimidating people say, at most revealing their true feelings in some Discord DMs only to later be betrayed by those "friends" and shamed for those screenshots all across the VERY "platform" they've cultivated. Absolute waste of time and emotions. He, however, felt like an antithesis to that shitshow as a concept by how free he was. How he didn't need any approval, nor faltered upon any criticism. Like pure, primordial chaos. I didn't really look much into it, but not only I admired intelligence regarding various topics on biology, history, religion, art and craft, literature, chemistry and medicine.. I also hoped that by just standing near him, I could get a fraction of that power. And I did...

I did.. I definitely gained more courage since then. Some of it is even still with me. I could speak my doubts, and my observations, and challenge infinitely more cruel and influential opponents in a debate. I've finally cut ties with any hope for ever being popular and loved and accepted. Like.. deep down I knew harassment would come sooner or later as soon as I stepped on that path. I knew what I was doing to myself and what for. Above all, I wanted a piece of his huge, radiant, chaotic soul to learn to be strong and independent like him, to no longer need attention or approval like him. I think at the most part I used it for good. I spoke against various injustices and logic faults better than before.

But I think I got it the other way around. I've always been a contrarian at least a bit. I just needed a display of how much I really could do, and how much I was ready to lose and endure. But I think the more time went on, the more it felt like proving my "loyalty" to him. I could do a lot.. but as long as I felt the strong presence behind myself, always holding my shoulder. In the end, I was still a weak pathetic autistic person, whose intellectual failures guarantee them being in endless hazard of ideological grooming. The thing is, I wonder if he ever REALLY was any better. Was not he ideologically groomed by various scum from 4Chan too? Especially with how easily it would be to appeal to his tragedy and betrayal he endured? He was a lot like Morgott. The guy believing and ready to fight for the oppressive system that targeted people like him. Was not he groomed, as a queer person supporting conservative nonsense against his own, because the very queer community betraying him and many others was a good display of "true face of this world"? Who is to tell that he didn't feel strong presence, even if anonymous, behind him? Who is to tell that he never was terrified to disagree with those groups?

If anything, I've learned to stay away from "communities" that base themselves around opposing the shared enemy. AND their 'wandering' members, because they will still speak not their points and not their arguements. They get too stuck in their beliefs to the point they recite them without understanding what they entail, they will never listen to the other side perceiving them as enemy out to groom them away from the right path, and they are TOO trigger-happy to dispose of "heretics", who either go astray or picked by the counter-community. However, every community is evil, foolish and cultish because every community has people in it.

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

What does Aerys think of Alicent, their mother? How about the rest of the family?

Aelys doesn’t like Alicent, at all. She has caused him lot of pain and suffering (particularly at the hands of Larys & Otto) in order to gain and maintain her power, very willing to use him as a sacrificial lamb for Aegon’s claim to the throne, and while he pities her for her suffering, he doesn’t think it justifies her passing that suffering to

However he adores his siblings. He is fiercely protective of all of them, they are his reason to live. In his fic, the real reason that Daeron is fostered at Oldtown is to punish him, and Aelys has made Aegon promise that if/when he becomes king, his first act will be to bring their brother home

He and Aegon are true twin flames, they are two halves of the same whole, and when Aegon is feeling sentimental he’s been known to wax poetic about how Aelys was made for him, separated in the womb to give his soul a safe haven, they’re very obsessive with each other and like it’s a lot and it’s very intense but it is absolute pure unconditional love

Aelys and Helaena have always been close, but became much closer after his betrothal and eventual wedding to Roslyn Baratheon (Aelys’ lesbian wife & Helaena’s true love), they share a deep kinship and understanding and Aelys would do anything for her. Aelys is the father of at least Jaehaerys & Jaehaera, something agreed upon between he, Helaena, Roslyn, and Aegon. Aegon is their father in every way that matters and Aelys is their beloved and doting uncle, but Helaena is much more comfortable with him than with Aegon and they all agree that if this wedding has to happen, this is what’s best for Helaena (he and Aegon are one soul in two bodies, Helaena says, no child sired by either could be a bastard, no matter which body she lays with)

Aelys and Aemond have a more confrontational relationship, but no less protective. Aemond is aware that Aelys is playing a game of politics that he doesn’t fully grasp, and he knows that Aelys considers it part of his duty to protect them, but he doesn’t really understand why someone with a dragon and aptitude with a sword is fighting his battle with words and fake smiles – and Aelys hopes he never has to understand why, as long as he understands that it is a necessary evil. But also have them summed up in my favourite scene concept

Aelys: you want to take our notoriously uptight little brother who hates everyone to a brothel??? That’s a terrible idea I’ll come too so he doesn’t end up killing you

Aelys to Aemond: first of all 0 shame if you are curious you deserve to enjoy yourself, second of all here are your other options

Aelys: if you’re nervous to try, I can stay and guide you, or you can fuck me instead idc, or we can sneak out, go back to the keep, and steal all of aegon’s favourite deserts left over from your name day feast and have a sleepover

(They have the sleepover and talk shit about people until aelys tricks him into talking about feelings instead, surprise bitch welcome to therapy)

And Daeron is more like a child to Aelys than a brother, which is why sending him to be fostered is such an effective and heartwrenching punishment

He also has the best relationship with Rhaenyra out of the siblings. He doesn’t always like her but as far as he’s concerned, the best way to protect his siblings is to make sure that Aegon doesn’t want her throne and that Rhaenyra becomes fond enough of them not to execute them for being challenges. She doesn’t really understand him either, but on several occasions he publicly supports her and denounces claims of her children being bastards – including in the fight at Driftmark, where he manages to throw himself under the bus while also saying that calling her kids bastards is a “vile lie meant only to weaken the family” (he does however think that Laenor is a dumbass for not finding a way to knock her up, he’s also gay and managed with both his wife and sister pregnant)

Also he sees Rhaenyra as the best way to get Daemon’s protection which is a top priority of his (there’s for sure an AU where he avoids the war because of this but tbd if that’s his canon or not)

[roleplayhonestybox]

https://www.tumblr.com/roleplayhonestybox/743400235039064064/the-only-thing-i-dont-get-with-popular-fandoms-rn?source=share as a fandom rper my biggest problem is that fandom rps are so finicky. even the big fandoms tend to fall off after a few months in lieu of whatever new show or movie happens to be popular atm. it’s honestly a shame and hard to rp fandoms bc fandom hopping is getting worse and worse with every year, and i absolutely believe it’s bc of media overconsumption and streaming services just pushing things out at breakneck speed. people don’t stay in fandoms like they used to. as for the shipping, it’s a lot easier to ask for the popular ships bc you have a higher chance to get a hit on it. every time i have ever reached out for a rarepair i either got 2 or less, most of the time 0 likes. but if i did a popular ship I’d get more. Also I will say that the other problem I have with fandom ships is that everyone is looking for mxm, and while I don’t mind writing mxm, I don’t like writing just that. I’m mostly a mxf writer but it’s damn near impossible 😂

rn hazbin hotel has an absolute chokehold on the fandom rp community. I swear every ad for that show has at least 10 or more likes and the only time I ever see any less than that is if the ad is asking for too much. but I suspect in a couple more months those ads are going to dwindle to none and then whatever next fandom pops up will follow the same trend

sorry for the long response. I just have a lot to say about fandom rping and I have a hate-love relationship with it

.

[magnoliamyrrh]

@73ghosts ya this is what i was going on abt, you're totally right!

the internet and the younger generations have just completely bastardized the concept of cultural appropriation. i believe it was originally developed in north america, and it was meant to critique the way in which dominant white culture would take elements from opressed cultures, without credit, claim them for themselves, and benefit off of them while still shaming said opressed culture.

ie black women were being shamed for their hairstyles which were seen as unprofessional/dirty/weird/etc and have historically been banned by white americans as a way to dehumanize africans and rupture them from an important and even spiritual part of their african heritige, but when white models would do it for modeling agencies it was cool and trendy all the sudden and they'd make money off of it. in general white dominated media&companies talking black culture and claiming it for themselves with 0 credit and making millions. another well known one, native american hollowen costumes, which turn someones sacred culture that they faught to keep alive into a stereotyped costume. another example closer to home which still makes sense would be big western clothing agencies very clearly taking designs from romanian folk clothes, and with 0 credit remaking them, branding them as african clothing, and selling them for hundreds - while much poorer peasants who make them and romanians in general get 0 credit or benefit or exposure, and while also managing to appropriate/use the "exotic" perception of africans at the same time as well

this makes sense. in a system of racial supremecy, in a country known for an incredibly ridgid racial hierarchy and harsh history, it totally makes sense as a critique and it is an important one. cultural appropriation was about taking someones culture in this hierarchy, using it to your own benefit with 0/little to no credit, while still hating said culture

this. is different from normal day to day cultural exhange. this is different from people willingly sharing their culture with others, as well as the very natural blend of cultures, ideas, customs, etc which happen when people live together for prolonged periods of time - something seen everywhere, absolutely everywhere in the old world and the indigenous americas, and frankly in the current western world as well. this is also different from cultural appreciation, a concept which seems to no longer exist frankly. its funny frankly how many times western people will be getting pissed off that someone buys clothes from another culture and wears them bc they genuinely like them, without claiming it for themselves, while people from said culture who still live in said country will say "actually we think its cool people like our clothes/things so much they want to wear them :) and its cool that theyre exposing others to our culture bc they think its beautiful :) stop being offended"

cultures are fluid, as you said. there is no such thing as pure culture, Very few things belong in actuality to one completely separate culture and group, and it is very, very normal and basically unavoidable that humans exhange culture with each other. its normal that people get influenced by the people they live around, their friends, the country they may migrate too, that trade brings parts of cultures to other places. its literally the most normal thing and weve been doing it for forever

the current-day understanding of cultural appropriation has just been bastardized to such an extent that its no longer about critiquing what it actually was, its no longer an important point of analysis and self awareness, its been taken to a ridiculous degree of performative wokeness and endless western offense about everything on this planet. the idea that Ever in Any context in Any way blending or exhanging or etc cultures is cultural appropriation, means we should twitter cancel all of humankind on this planet, for all of history in actuality. its unrealistic and useless and stupid frankly

and yea, the food thing is ridiculous. or "listening to music from other cultures is appropriation" or ive talked abt this on here before, me bringing my american ex to romania, willingly sharing my culture with her, and being asked several times by her if shes not actually appropriating my culture and its not okay,,,, like,, girl..... idk another common example someone having a cultural wedding, Asking the guests of all ethnicites to dress a certain way and participate, and the internet losing its mind. or americans seeing ppl wear/do their OWN cultuture but bc theyre so closed minded and dont know shit they get offended at them bc they think their appropriating some other culture who soley has ownership i guess (the evil eye charm thing is like, an actual common point of offense, and its so stupid bc like half the planet has had it for like hundreds of years. ive seen balkan ppl latin ppl arab ppl and others all complain abt getting this by now usually from some white american lmao rip)

we are living in an increasingly multicultural world. the last possible thing we should be doing, as far as im concerned, is all closing ourselves off from each other, never sharing anything, never exposing ourselves to anything else, and pretending we all exist in neat little separate groups with no relation to each other whatsoever. getting offended over every possible similarity but prepetually disecting all the ways were different. this..,,,, helps absolutely noone as far as i can see

[edvinception]

You’re anons are so obvious, don’t be shy, raise your hand for those who can wait for yr to be over and for them to have zero content together to share with us anymore hahaha.

No but in a serious note, stop intellectualizing something like that. It is not rocket science. As much as it is absurd, what I could’ve observed is people missing them? They know that sooner or later everything will ends. They were hoping for Milano part 2 (and like it’s not a crazy thought). It’s innocent and quite endearing imo. It only shows how much they’re loved. Even if they know theirs interest, career and such are completely different, it’s absolutely not the point.

I saw some people overreact and it made me uncomfortable but like .. i understand i think ? A hopeful wish is armless as much it seems annoying so stop shaming people? It is just a question of time for everything to be over. So people are a bit desperate? And it’s not like it never happens before, so they have something to relate to for having those expectations.

That being said, personally i’m kinda happy Edvin isn’t there. To me it’s call peace !! Because what I’ve noticed after every Edvin/Omar content is Edvin shade becoming strong: what about his sexuality, What about him have it easy ? What about digging in his past blablabla. And always coming from nowhere??! At this point I’ve start to believe that some people get frustration to see them together lol. And i’m so done. (Don’t care if you don’t agree with that part I know i’m right).

Anyway, wish Omar the best time in Paris safe and fun and wish Edvin to give rotten people 0 occasion to shit on him.

I mean I'm trying to see or at least understand where people are coming from. It's hard though. Written communication is bound to lead to misunderstandings and different interpretations. Especially in a fandom where not everyone has English as their first language, myself included.

I like your more positive view though. It's very refreshing.

I don't have the same experience though regarding your last point. I don't really think it's tied to Edvin's appearances with Omar. But maybe you are right.

And I also think the shade is very limited but when one of them makes a confession suddenly there are a bunch more that also want to spill their tea. (And sometimes it very much feels like the very same person over and over.) Which is why I don't want to draw too many conclusion on them. I just think people are just trying to stir some drama and get reactions.

[missspringthyme]

January 8th, 2024

I normally have a really hard time letting people cook for or with me.

This is because (1) I really enjoy cooking and I've been making 99% of my own meals since I was 9, so I just kinda go into a flow state. Often times it takes more effort for me to figure out tasks for other people to do than to just do them myself. That's also why I really love cooking massive, multiple-course meals for things like holidays. It's like a puzzle trying to complete all the steps for all the recipes at all the right times so the food is done when you need it to be, it reminds me of swimming where my mind is so full on the task that there isn't any room for any other thoughts. When I cook, my brain goes as quiet as when I take my (legally prescribed!) meth. (2) I have a really hard time accepting gifts/having people do things for me. This is a huge trap because I love gifts and having people do things, but I have to be tricked into it. I have to either not know until the very last moment or have 0 choice in the matter.

So, my boyfriend (who I've decided I will now start referring to as 'T' here) spent the night and told me he had a little day planned for us. This day included him planning and stressing a little too much over where/what we were going to have for breakfast. He liked my idea of french toast but then he started talking about who would have to go and get the ingredients, and how long it would take etc. etc., jokes on him I planned ahead and already had all of the ingredients.

Now, french toast is something that I have known how to make since I was really little. The woman who was a second mother to me would stand me up on a stool so I could help whisk the batter when I would have it for breakfast. I've made it hundreds of times, whereas T never has.

However, however, roughly 2ish months ago one of my roommates saw my dice and asked if I would teach her to play DnD. Long story short, I am now dming my first ever campaign with 100% new players including 4 of my roommates (the Australians, the Italian, and the other German-American) and the Australian's coworker the French.

I didn't think we'd get to play over break with all the different time zones, but we found one that would work. This meant starting bright and early for me specifically, and that I didn't have time to be any more of a control freak about breakfast besides hastily scrawling some instructions on a torn bit of paper for T.

The session was really fun despite me being underprepared (whoops lol), although I need to start enacting some consequences on Authentic Australian's halfling character because at a certain point, he physically cannot carry this much treasure. I also need to find a way to give Italian a win, because she just has absolutely horrible luck with dice rolls and I can tell she's not as engaged.

T and I shared the french toast after the game finished, and it was really good. One of the things I love about him is how good he is at making connections in his head. It creates the illusion that he's naturally good at most things he tries, but I know that the work is just happening at a faster speed than most people. After breakfast, we got ready to go see a movie. T has been wanting to see The Boy and the Heron for such a long time, and in particular, he was excited to see it with me.

He really, really loves anime and pretty much refuses to watch most live-action tv shows. This is a shame because most of my favorite tv shows are live-action and I don't really like anime. The one exception is Studio Ghibli. My parents would put on their movies in between episodes of Biene Maja (absolute banger) and recordings of Disney Channel (a glimpse into the lives of Real Americans) to placate me on long trips.

Growing up in Tokyo, my favourite thing was that you can turn a street corner from the most artificial place on the planet to a sacred bubble of nature. Watching Ghibli makes me feel like I'm sitting in the abandoned lot near our apartment that had become reclaimed with tall grass and wildflowers. It reminds me to look for the shrines on the side of the road.

He bought the tickets, I bought the popcorn. The theater was empty except for us. That night, I made roasted sweet potato and chickpea bowls with black rice, crispy kale, and hummus.

[dollypopup]

Eloise was definitely spared because Daphne was the shield, but I fully disagree with you about Benedict. Benedict and Anthony are friends, and that's pretty evident in almost all of their interactions. Anthony hugs Benedict, he compliments him. Sure, Anthony doesn't think too hard about what asking Benny to be his second would force upon him, but at the same time, he trusts Benedict to take over his duties for the family. He believes in Benedict and thus wants to ensure his success in any way he can.

Anthony doesn't disrespect Benedict the way he does Colin or his sisters. He and Benedict are in similar age brackets, and they were both raised to have similar expectations. Anthony was raised from birth to be the viscount one day, and Benedict in a similar vein would have to receive an applicable level of care. Benedict was the one left in charge when Anthony left for his honeymoon. By and large, the respect Anthony shows Benedict doesn't contribute to the trauma that Benedict faced when his father died. A and B have each other's backs in a way that isn't extended to the rest of the family. Benedict is even given the grace to question and push back against Anthony, able to step up to bat for Colin in Season 2 with a 'He is only one and twenty, brother' comment.

It's not really a 'who had it worse' in the aftermath of grief, but when it comes to comparing how Anthony treats his siblings, there's definitely a hierarchy. Fran and Eloise are largely ignored, Hyacinth and Gregory are taken care of as though they're Anthony's children, Benedict is considered Anthony's equal and they share responsibilities, and Daphne and Colin are largely treated as burdens Anthony has to take care of. We've talked a lot about how there absolutely should be more shown with familial dynamics! And whilst I won't say that any of them had an easy ride, I can't agree that Benedict has been given even a fraction of the disrespect Anthony has shown Daphne and Colin.

Colin was literally virgin shamed by his brother, and when he apologized at the end of Season 1, Colin was astonished. Demonstrating that it is an incredibly rare event. Anthony is short with him, always upset with what Colin does , and in the aftermath of his engagement, insists on cleaning up Colin's messes because his bar is that low for him. When Anthony found out Benedict was seeing Gen, he said 'Good for you!'. When Anthony found out Colin was courting Marina, he said 'Obvs you're just doing it to wet your wick.' He has just about 0 faith in him. He doesn't even want Colin to invest what is the family's money, thus also belonging to him, into a family friend's business. He looks down on him for courting Marina and for being softhearted. He snaps at him at doesn't respond to his letters. How he treated Daphne was similarly egregious: forcing away her suitors because he thought he knew best, showing he has a similar low standard for her, challenging someone he considered a friend who she clearly liked to a duel, dictating the outcome of her life. He doesn't believe in either of them.

I will say that him paying for Benedict's art school behind his back was the biggest disrespect he delivered him, but even that doesn't hold a candle to trying to force Daphne to marry Berbrooke, or encouraging Colin's insecurities, making him feel like less of a man because Colin was different than he was. Anthony believes Benedict is capable, but he thinks Colin is a foolish child. The unfairness he foists onto them both is different, but very far from equal.

unpopular opinion. . .but I do NOT want Anthony to walk Penelope down the aisle. Not only because they don't really have much of a relationship, the two of them really haven't interacted at all, but also because Anthony has really been. . .pretty damn hard on Colin. Like of all the siblings, Anthony has been the most stern and displeased with Colin. There's just something about the idea of him walking Pen down the aisle to Colin that doesn't sit right with me when Anthony was also the one of the linchpins who encouraged and pushed Colin to put on his mask. S1 he made fun of him for being a virgin, S2 he yelled at him in full view of the entire family for investing money in Pen's family to the point where Benedict and Eloise called him out for it, and S3, the only praise he gave him was for the attention he got from others after putting on a persona

No, I want someone else to walk Penelope down the aisle. A man who is also a wife guy, completely besotted, and would completely get Colin's feelings toward Pen. A man who already has a good relationship with Penelope, to the point where he was absolutely delighted to see her looking beautiful in a new dress. A man who has taken up the mantle as the OG Featherington Husband and would be nothing but excited for the honor of walking his Sister in Law down the aisle

and the man for this job?

None other than

Albion Finch

[nyaitsu-writes]

what headcanons do you have for undead with an s/o that gives them genuinely sweet and cutesy nicknames (or just tacks a -chan on the end of their name) and uses it often lol

i have,, almost 1.2k words about this. ehe. ehehehe (*/ω＼*) you just got together 2 of my favourite things in the world: cute nicknames + undead! i love writing for these four so much so and i’ve been looking forward to getting to this rq for soooo long!! especially with koga,, i have so many thoughts about koga in this,, pspsps fellow undeadPs this one is for you <3

✧ undead | when their s/o gives them cute nicknames ✧

REI SAKUMA;

✦ oh. so you’re into cute, fluffy and sugary sweet nicknames? and you want a reaction out of him? listen up, this man here is the king of demons. the overlord of vampires. and the mastermind behind the best nicknames in the universe! and yet you call him your sugar bunny and rei sakuma is already on his knees, clutching his ancient vampire heart and trying not to cry. why. how. why and how are so sweet he’s going to melt and it will be your fault! i hope you’re prepared to get your own personal vampire puddle (*￣▽￣*)

✦ putting that aside, rei has 0% shame and will let you call him however you see fit as long as he’s allowed to do the exact same thing. outside of his wide collection of unique and personal nicknames, he also enjoys trying things out of his comfort zone! get ready for the day this almost 180 cm tall man calls you cupcake with his deep voice. ohhh you flushed? you’re his cupcake now <3

✦ most of the time, rei can’t resist a chuckle as he pats your head and lovingly messes up your hair when you call him any of your sweet names. he’s been called a lot of different things throughout his life, some were good and many weren’t as nice but yours makes him so happy. because it means that you are comfortable enough around him to the point you don’t feel embarrassed of calling him like that, that you care for him and want to share your own personal love language with no one other than himself. and that makes rei absolutely ecstatic.

KOGA OOGAMI;

✦ the first time you called him koga-chan he almost had a heart attack. you called him what again? he’s torn between wanting to kiss you or fight you (or both!), which becomes an essential part of your relationship as soon as he listens to all your new names for him. you come up with a special nickname for him and it has to be something cutesy and silly? how dare you hurt his pride like that!

✦ ...but deep down he doesn’t mind that much. see, he has to keep up his image as the big bad wolf, he can’t let everyone see you have such a strong influence on him （︶^︶） not even you! so he’ll complain, and growl and bark every time you call him something other than his name, telling you to find a proper name for someone as cool as him.

✦ and yet koga-chan sounds too good for you to drop it so soon. maybe, as long as you keep it for both of your ears only, koga might be willing to make a slight concession. maybe. he will ask for something in return, though! it’s not like… like he enjoys your attention after all or something like that. if you pat his head while you’re sitting together, mumbling a soft koga-chan he’ll flush beet red and press his head against your shoulder, grumbling in annoyance but enjoying the feeling of your hands in his hair too much to pull away. see, if you give him something good he’ll put it up with whatever cute name you have in store for him~

✦ now, you might have koga pinned down in private but in public? he will die if anyone, especially other undead members, find out about the names. and you can bet it took them just a couple of days. you had decided to accompany him to practice and probably called him like that on instinct. now he’s everyone’s “sweetheart”. rehearsals, outside work, lives: i’m afraid teasing has reached to each and every possible joint activity for undead, leaded by rei with kaoru as his vice captain. luckily, this means koga has built some extra tolerance to cute nicknames so you can try even more names with him. his sacrifice was for a greater good after all!

ADONIS OTOGARI;

✦ adonis is sincerely confused. he sees himself as someone strong and fairly big, some people have even called him scary. so, why are you calling him sweet pie? is he a pie? is he related to pies in some way? maybe the language barrier is proving to be more of a problem than he anticipated… it is then that you explain that is a special term of endearment and adonis is already nodding in understandment, smiling kindly. 

✦ you like using cute nicknames? adonis will absolutely indulge you. he isn’t one for using nicknames himself but when you propose having special names for each other he wants to give it a try. he calls you little bird. little bird and sweet pie. the sugar rush is so strong all of your friends go one out of two ways: it’s either sobbing at how absolutely adorable you two are or trying to run away from the fluff overload because their heart can’t take it (*/ω＼*)

✦ adonis. ado-chan. donis-chan. donut-chan? talk about sweet names that fit him! o(*°▽°*)o he doesn’t quite get it but he can’t help but feel all fuzzy on the inside every time he sees you smile while calling him like that. and adonis will always answer. it’s the special name you gave him so it’s his name now! even if some friends try to tease him about it he’ll pay it no attention: it makes you happy and that’s his top priority!

KAORU HAKAZE;

✦ cinnamon roll? are you sure that you don’t want to reconsider your new nickname for him? something more… charming, maybe? love of your life? oh, that one got him just right. look at his cheeks, he has blushed! 

✦ getting over the initial surprise, kaoru is absolutely on board with your personal naming sense. what better way to show the world that you’re made for each other than using the absolute cutest, most sugar rush inducing names ever? it’s not that he doesn’t mind, he actually likes it. he likes it to the point he’ll get pouty if you call him just by his name and ask if you’re angry with him, wrapping his arms around you so you get absolutely zero escape chance until you explain yourself!

✦ kaoru, happily holding your hand, will stick out his tongue to anyone who tries to make fun of him for being in such a sweet and lovely relationship. they’re just jealous, hmp! not everyone gets such an affectionate s/o after all, he’s just that lucky. 

✦ because you’re just so nice and sweet? you’re his sunshine (❁´◡`❁) warm and gentle like the sun, always making his days just brighter and brighter no matter the season. kaoru doesn’t care if people are watching and will always have his little shows of affection with you when you call him any of your special nicknames: kissing the top of your head, holding you between his arms, kissing your cheek. he gets so energized just by having you around and listening to your voice. you’re open about your feelings, showing him that he’s genuinely loved each and every day. and it feels so good <3

[bangtanfancamp]

Champagne Silk | KNJ

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⋅summary: Almost year ago, you became the arranged bride of the most powerful man in the city, Kim Namjoon, but this morning, with you, he’s just a man who’s head over heels for you who can’t help getting lost thinking about his future with you.

Alternatively: no matter how powerful a man Namjoon is, he is still a klutz in the kitchen. A sexy klutz though.

⋅ author’s masterlist

⋅part two of the Silk series ( read part 1 here)

⋅also the second installment of breakfast with bangtan series (masterlist here)

⋅pairing: mafia!namjoon x reader

⋅genre: mafia! au, arranged marriage! Au, smut, fluff, angst, established relationship

⋅word count: 15.5k words

⋅rating: mature

⋅warnings: a generous amount of consensual sexual activities 🙃, brief scene of oral sex, impregnation kink, a shared bath tub, multiple instances of christiana being uncomfortable with using proper technical names for genitalia and being intentionally ambiguous instead. (honestly it’s more tame and wholesome than you think but god, if these two aren’t hot for each other )

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“Damn it.” 

The sound comes rumpled from the other side of the kitchen, like someone’s trying to keep it hidden. It’s so subdued and muttered that around anyone else, it might have been successfully hidden. But not right now. And certainly not with you. Because you know the distinct, adorable huff of your husband’s regret in an instant.

“You all right over there, darling?” There’s an innocence in your voice to hide your humor.

“Promise you won’t laugh if I tell you?” 

“Oh, unfortunately I can do no such thing, my love. You’ll just have to brave the odds and tell me.” 

Your smile is benevolent, but unyielding. You politely, pleasantly even, refuse to give him another option, and he knows it. It’s that simple. Even with his back to you, he knows the jig is up. As he hunches with heavy shoulders, he sighs and mutters something too low for you to pick up at first.

“Once more for the people in the back, yeah?” You tease.

“I said, I spilled wine on everything,” he exhales. 

His voice is tinged in shades of caramel, rich with resignation, as he confesses, stepping aside so you can see the mess he’s made. 

“Oh, Joon.” 

A terribly bright fondness pulls your lips into a smile as your clumsy giant sheepishly ducks his head across the room. His once pristine white shirt, his linen pants and your white antique tablecloth are all freshly dip dyed in swirls of Pinot Grigio and rosé.

“I know. I know. You don’t have to say it.” His eyes flit down to the stack of too many wine glasses slotted between his large fingers that have spilled their bounty across every available fabric surface.

“You have no idea what I’m about to say,” you point out graciously.

Crossing the room, you tip up on your toes to press a tender kiss to the spots where his jolly dimples would show if he weren’t so flustered. 

“MmmHmm. Sure I don’t.” He squints at you while you slip one glass at a time out of his grip and reach for a cloth.

“Precisely. You shouldn’t assume, Namjoon. You know what they say.” You smirk, wetting the cloth with water you know will be too frigid for him to stand in this half asleep state he’s in, but the stains have got to go.

“And what exactly do they say?” His large palms dip to rest on his hips as he braces for your commentary.

“Simply that assumptions only make an ass out of you and me so…”

His nose scrunches in distaste, even as he starts to laugh. “What a beastly phrase. I forget how much delicacy Americans have.” 

“Oh heaps of it. More than they know what to do with, really.” You shrug as you wring out the cloth. “Positively genteel. Is that not why you chose to marry one?” You add with a wry smile.

Glancing down at the bands on your finger, you warm at the way they glisten in the bits of lazy Sunday light filtering through the window. Namjoon’s glints golden across the room as he waits for your rescue. Both still new enough to feel like a novelty. Enough to make a small light inside you beam with pride whenever you catch sight of it.

“I chose to marry the only one I could find who was quick enough to get the stains I make out before they set and sweet enough not to give me grief for it.” He arches an eyebrow down at you in challenge as you slip one hand past the deeply undone row of buttons on his shirt to pull the fabric up and away from his skin as you begin to gently blot at the wine.

“Oh no. Well, I hate to inform you of this, but unfortunately, I’m actually 0 for 2 in those qualifications. But I will sincerely try my best since you’ve placed so much trust in me.” You chuckle as you set to work. “Would it be helpful if I mention what a smart wife you have to have ixnayed buying that cabernet sauvignon you wanted so badly, especially given your current predicament?”

Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to your forehead before dipping to press his nose against your own while shaking his head. 

“No. Not in the slightest.”

“See? That’s good to know. Would have been awful if I mentioned the Merlot I put back too then. Can you imagine? Could have been so unseamly.”

He laughs, smiling against your hairline. “Well, what would have been the point of whisking my bride all the way out to a little villa in wine country and inviting guests only to not serve them red wine?”

“The point would have been you not turning into the kool-aid man whenever said wine inevitably spilled all over you. Case in point.” You look up at him through wide, fluttered lashes as you press the icy cold cloth against a particularly bold splatter on his chest. The frigid water grazes his nipple through his thin shirt and your giant of a man winces like he was wounded on the playground.

“Hey, that’s freezing.” He moves to swat your hand away. 

“Would you rather just take this off then? So I can work properly,” You smirk.

“No,” he sighs. “That would just be colder.” 

He looks so adorable right now. The lavender locks you’d once loved so well have been replaced, faded into a dusty blonde instead. His thick hair, usually coiffed so neatly, so perfectly, is currently disheveled entirely. Bits that had been gently curated to frame his face the night before are now plastered to his forehead, others shooting off at odd angles, all from falling asleep on the couch beside you once your dinner guests finally left late last night. 

He’s still in last night's now stained and rumpled clothes, still looking absolutely divine with the sleeves cuffed against his elegant forearms and his now wide open neckline thanks to the buttons undone all the way down past his rib cage.

His body is every bit a grown man, but his sleepy features- those wide eyes and pouted lips- make him look every bit the little boy you saw once in his mothers photo albums the week of the wedding. Big Namjoon still makes the same faces when he makes a mess as little Namjoon, and it makes your heart squeeze in your chest.

“Don’t be such a weenie,” you tease. 

“Careful who you tease, woman. You’re the only one in this city who forgets how many people are afraid of me.”

“This city is half a day’s drive away. There’s no one to fear you here,Joonie. Besides, your enemies have clearly never seen how quickly you’d fall in a battle against the cold or else you would have been displaced ages ago,” you tease with a twinkle in your eyes as he narrows his at you.

“I don’t think you’d like ice water on your breasts first thing in the morning either.” He huffs under his breath.

“You never know til you try,” you wink.

“Would you like to try?” His eyes rake over you salaciously despite the tenderness in his smile. 

“No, I can’t say that I do,” you chuckle, pushing a palm against his chest. “Besides, it’s hardly first thing in the morning, Joon. It’s almost noon.” You nod toward the clock.

There’s still sleep in his voice when he laughs, the sounds rich and resonant where it blooms from his chest. “Well, it’s still morning for me when we didn’t fall asleep til well after 3 because our guests don’t know when to leave.”

You smile to yourself at the memory of time spent with your friends. Well, more accurately Namjoon’s friends, i.e. the members of his crew who have become like family to both of you. Namjoon’s been on the move so much with work lately that there’s been no time to simply sit and enjoy their company. You were in raptures when he suggested they join you for dinner last night.

“It was so good to see Hoseok and Jungkookie though. Their new girlfriends seem so sweet.” 

Namjoon’s gaze seems far off somewhere as he listens to you.“They do, don’t they? JK’s seemed spunky too. She’s good for him.” 

“I think so too. He spent half the night blushing- he was so happy. It was good to see him so over the moon for once, that little romantic.”

Namjoon smiles, a soft thing nestled in the pocket of his cheek, full of fondness for the youngest of his friends. “Yeah, I’m glad he finally found someone so good for him.” 

Pulling you in, he kisses you gently, once, twice before pressing his lips to the top of your forehead, an unspoken “as good as you are for me” hidden his warm brown eyes.

“Big softie,” you whisper, reaching up to cradle his face, thumb brushing over his cheeks. He tips his face toward your palm to plant a kiss there too, his lips just brushing the inside of your wedding band as you smile.

“For you? Always.”

“For me? It was the food last night. God, That charcuterie board Jin brought was positively masterful.” The memory alone has your mouth watering. “Such a shame it was all gone so soon though.”

“Ooo, speaking of,” Namjoon slips out of your grip to rustle around in the kitchen behind you. “Not quite.” 

“What did you do?” You narrow your eyes at him as you settle into a wooden chair to start tending to the swirling stains on the tablecloth.

“Oh, the best thing. Husband of the year level best thing.”

“Husband of the year? Can't wait to see this then. Very moderate expectations, indeed.”

With his back to you, you can’t see what he’s up to, but you can certainly hear it. Especially the low grunt when his hip snags on the new island counter. This poor man was clearly made for a different life than this old world kitchen provides. You wonder which will go first, your husband or the architectural detail. You chuckle to yourself until you realize exactly what it is he’s carrying.

“Kim Namjoon, is that-?”

“A mini stolen charcuterie board? You bet it is,” he winks your way, and a storm of winged things flutter in your stomach.

“How did you even-“

“When you had everyone gathered in the backyard, and Jimin tripped over the cord for the string lights.”

“I’ll never know how such a graceful man can cause such disasters. Or how you managed to befriend the only other man on earth as poised and clumsy as you all at once,” you chuckle, stealing a fig from the corner of the board as he peels back the plastic film covering it. “Oh my god, that’s so good.”

“Mmm Hmm. I knew you thought so,” he taps you on the nose lovingly. “You always ask Jin to make these for you, and then you’re always so sad when all twelve people you invite make it vanish in half an hour.”

“I know. I know. It would go farther if there were fewer people to share it with, but Joon, the boys are like family. I haven’t seen them all together in so long. I couldn’t bear to leave anyone out.”

There’s a twinkle glinting in his eyes as he smiles down at you. He’s glad to see how soft your heart somehow remains despite the life you both lead. 

“Which is precisely why I took the liberty of stashing some of this bounty away while the guests were busy and saving it for you.” 

When he smiles at you like that, all softened edges and warm brown eyes, it’s impossible not to fall in love with him all over again. It’s not like you’ve forgotten how kind he is or how striking he can be when he smiles. It’s simply that the more you see it, the more in love you become.

Rising up in your chair, you reach across the table to tenderly cradle his cheek.

“I hate to say this, because then you’ll know you were right, but this is really is an excellent submission for husband of the year. I would like to point out, though, that you are welcome to make as many entries as you’d like before the panel comes to a consensus, you know.” 

He smiles so wide that his eyes get lost in their beautifully crinkled edges. “I’ll keep it in mind. Now, they do say that you should play toward the judge’s preferences. Would you happen to know any? To help me get that inside edge.”

“Now, now. I can’t help you cheat. You’ll have to conduct your own research.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. We have a strict moral code. They’d ruin me if I let that sort of intel slip.” You tilt your chin up in defiance despite your smirk and laughing eyes.

“Hmm. We can’t have that, can we? Shame. I really thought this was going to be my year.”

“Do you really think the only way you’d win is to cheat? Come now...it can still be your year if you play your cards right.”

Your hand drifts up to his carelessly perfect hair, fingers gliding through it and tugging a bit near his scalp. One of his favorite ways to receive affection you’ve found out this past year. His lids fall heavy before he can catch them, a small hiss catching behind his teeth that means you’ve done it right.

“Careful. You don’t know what you might be starting.” His eyes wander the edges of your lips, trace the frame of your collarbone.

“I’d never take the risk if I wasn’t ready to face the consequences.” The twist of your lips is subtle, as gentle as the seduction you’ve learned is your forte. 

Namjoon licks his lips, the lower one snagging in his teeth as his eyes drift over you. Without breaking his gaze, he takes a champagne grape from the board and lifts it to your lips. You can feel your pulse flutter and quicken beneath your skin. It always does when he eyes you like that.

The man might as well be a snake charmer for all the control you feel like you have over yourself right now as your mouth parts of its own accord for him. But just before the fruit can graze your lips, his grin widens- wicked with delight- as he decides to pop it in his own mouth instead.

His dimples are so deep as he laughs at your flustered state that you wish you could crawl inside them and hide.

“Ha Ha. Very funny, Joon. Tease the woman you claim to love. Excellent way to keep a happy wife.” 

Rolling your eyes, you push off from the table, fully intent on doing... you have no idea what, exactly. All you know is that you need to get away from this table as fast as you can before you knock the carefully preserved remnants of this charcuterie board to the floor and take him on the table.

 The blush that was rushing to your cheeks is now crashing in your ears and all you can think to do is “go,” but before you can get even half a step too far, Namjoon’s warm, impossibly large hand is already wrapping itself around your wrist and grounding you to your spot.

“All I want is a happy wife,” he laughs. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I thought I made that pretty clear from the first day.”

Slowly, he stands as his hand trails its way down to dance across your palm before lacing your fingers with his. 

“Certainly doesn’t feel like it right now,” you pout, despite the excitement thrumming in your veins. You know that look on his face now. The one that’s evil and beautiful, sincere and serpentine. The one that wants to devour you playfully. To love you even as he ruins you.

“Oh no,” he tsks. “That won’t do.” 

Suddenly, he snaps you to him, his hands fastening themselves to the dip in your waist. You gasp, the force making you brace against his smooth, exposed chest to catch yourself.

“It won’t?” Your voice comes out airy, too thin, as the morning breeze billows through the open windows. 

“No. Not at all. So I wanna know: how can I fix this, baby?” His eyes are possessed by something wicked as one hand leaves your waist to trace a thumb over your parted mouth.

“I- I”

“Shh, I made this mistake. I’ll make it right.” He arches a single brow as his tongue wets his lips, and your brain loses any grip on rational thinking.

“And h-how do you plan to do that?” It’s a whisper- too breathy, too barely coherent. His hands are so warm. His touch is like lightning and suddenly even breathing requires too much energy with the way you feel like you’ve shorted out.

“I don’t know. You tell me, baby.” His knuckle tips it’s way under your chin, tilting your face up to his as you follow in obedience.

“But… I thought… I told you. The judge can’t help.” You swallow, lashes fluttering shut as his breath ghosts over your lips.

“Then she can’t get what she wants,” he challenges.

“Fair enough. That’s fair.” Your head bobbles in assent. 

“So I’ll try this again,” his face dips down until his mouth rests just below your ear. “What do you want, baby?”

You feel lightheaded as you melt in hands, rushing out the words, “Counter. Now. Please.”

 Your expression folds in on itself in satisfaction when Namjoon grips you around the waist and plants you on the kitchen island without a moment's hesitation. You gasp, airy and quick, before his palm is fitted against the curve of your throat with just the amount of pressure he’s learned that you like.

“Good girl. Open your legs for me, baby.”

A muffled inhale later, your knees have parted where you’re sat on the island and Namjoon is fitted between them, his hips to the counter as he kisses you in earnest. 

“Oh my god,” you gasp as his tongue and open mouth work their way down your throat, painting wide open blossoms of scarlet and blush along the way. Your hands are in his hair, at his scalp, tugging and grabbing to bring him back to your kiss. His taste is tinged salty and sweet from your skin and the grapes, and your thighs wrap themselves tight around the narrow slope of him.

He’s gotten so broad since the wedding day. If you had trouble composing yourself around him then god only knows how you’ve survived the past year. His shoulders seem wider, his arms more substantial, his chest impossibly inviting as you claw at the last remaining buttons of his dress shirt. 

“Off. Off. Take this off.” You push at the sleeves that bunch around the arcs of his newly swollen biceps, taking a moment to drink in how beautiful they are as you clutch at his golden skin. 

“So eager now. What happened to my shy girl?” His voice is teasing, light, but his eyes look proud of you.

“You did things like this to her, and now she can’t get enough.” Your mouth fits itself to the beautiful stretch of bare skin beneath his ear, suckling the indescribable taste of him before traveling down his throat and across his jaw.

He laughs, something deep and melodic, before his fingers begin to glide over your collarbone and dance over your arms, featherlight, like he always does when he’s trying to rile you up.

“Should I get this out of our way then?” His fingers tug at the slim straps of your champagne blush dress. You’d worn it especially for him at last night’s party. You’d never forgotten his affinity for your skin draped in silk.

“Why? Don’t you like it?”

“Of course I do, baby. It’s perfect.”

“Then why do you want me to take it off?”

 Your voice is sticky sweet with innocence, but Namjoon knows better. He doesn’t know where you got the wherewithal to tease him right now as he holds you pressed against his growing warmth, but when your eyes flick to his, he knows you’ve made the right choice. He likes it when you challenge him. It makes it more fun when he wins.

“So I can do this,” he grins with a flash of his teeth.

Without missing a beat, he’s slipped both straps clean off your shoulders, leaving the dress to pool around your hips, and scoops one of your soft breasts gently into his mouth. Your breath comes sharp, a stuttered, inhaled moan that tastes as sweet to him as the ripened figs on the tray. Deliciously priceless. 

He still can’t get over you. He doesn’t think he ever could. He’s never reached a point where the sounds you make fail to set his world ablaze. He’d like nothing more than to make drawing them out of you every morning just like this his sole profession.

Reverently, his other hand brushes up your side to cradle your other breast beside it. God, they’re so soft. Namjoon is almost ashamed to admit how infatuated he is with your breasts.  It would be embarrassing if you weren’t equally in love with receiving all the attention he gives them.

What can he say? He’s a simple man. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world to him and for him? They’re perfect. Even with all the exploration the two of you have shared this past year, he knows this part of your body has got to be his favorite- your skin there is so velvet smooth and supple, so delicately sensitive, so perfectly sized for him to devour to his heart's content.

As his tongue warms the tender skin of your nipple with affection, and his thumb steadily plays with the other, he feels the muscled grip of your thighs tighten against him. The sounds you make for him as you clutch at the edge of the granite might as well be a symphony. He loves you like this. Wild and coming undone at his touch and attention. No one in the world but you and him.

“J-joon, baby.. I-“

Looking up at you through heavy eyes, entirely impressed with himself, he smiles and flicks his tongue against you again. When the jolt makes you jump, he stands to his full height above you, and sets his hands back on your sides.

“What is it, baby? You have to tell me.”

Your brows crumple in softly as you look up at him through your lashes. If you could speak, you would, but the way he plays you like an instrument with no effort at all always seems to dispose of your grace.

“But Namjoon…”  you’re trying and failing to catch your breath as both his thumbs come to lazily torment the soft swells of your chest. 

“You know what you like. You know what you want. Just tell me.”

You’ve barely got enough breath to function as it is, let alone to form a sentence. “But baby, I can’t…”

“Then I’m afraid you can’t have it.” He tuts. “Not if you can’t ask.” 

His grin is wicked, and as much you want to drown in it, something in you wants to wipe it off his pretty face.

“Not… fair…”

He runs his tongue over his teeth as he smiles.

“Really? Because to me, what’s not fair,” he grips your hips, snatching you forward that last little inch to sit snug against his hips, “is me giving you a prize you haven’t earned.”

His hands dip to cup the curve of your backside,

his fingers digging deep into the silk and softness he finds there as he continues.

“ What’s not fair is the way you teased me in this little dress last night when you knew there would be too many people around for me to enjoy it properly…”

Dipping down, his sumptuous lips brush your ear as he whispers, “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What seeing you in this dress all night did to me?”  

As yet another lightheaded gasp leaves your lips, a dark, satisfied chuckle leaves his. 

“H-how would I know?” your air comes in shaky as he has his way with you

“You know, baby girl. You always know.”

 As his fingers dip firmly into the globes of your backside, he begins gently, just barely, rocking against you. No hurry. No fuss. Just maddening, slow pressure as he grazes you. When an airy moan comes whimpering from your lips, his strong hands tense, keeping your hips too fixed to succumb to moving with him.

“But you didn’t... say anything.”

Your eyes flutter closed as his face lowers toward yours. You can feel the brush of his lips ghosting over the edges of your cheek, his nose tracing against your skin.

“Don’t act like you couldn’t tell. You know silk always does me in.”

His fingers slip across your stomach where your dress has pooled to rest. They ghost like a whisper over your hips and down your legs until they reach the hem of your skirt. He fits his hands against your skin and drags them up achingly slowly, willing his touch to memorize the feel of your skin along the way as he pushes the fabric up inch by merciless inch- all while never stopping the insatiable way his lips move warm against yours.

His touch and his kiss are languid, unhurried, as he sets you on fire. When he reaches your thighs, his palms splay across them, his thumbs dragging along the inner swell of your legs as your vision begins to blur. 

He’s taking his time. He’s teasing you and enjoying it. It’s evident in the way he slows down the higher he gets. The way his mouth begins to travel down your throat in kisses so soft, so divinely sweet, that you swear you’re growing lightheaded from the swelling rush of pleasure.

His thumbs have made their way to the folds of your hips, his hands hidden beneath the fabric as your body lights up electric at his touch. Like if it shines bright enough for him, he might bless it with all that you know he is capable of. But even though he knows you’re more than willing, your tease doesnt satiate your body or her cravings for him just yet.

Instead, he slows down further. He fits his hands on the outer edges of your hip while his kisses turn gentle, calming, resolving, as if he has no intention of following through further after riling you up like this.

“What are you— why are you stopping?” Your eyes flit between his, a subtle , whining irritation building up beside your impatience when he doesn’t move. He’s quiet at first, in no rush to answer. As his beautiful face hovers over you, he's so smug you almost want to slap him for toying with you like this. 

But that won’t get you what you want. What you need. So Instead, you take one of his hands and press it to your breast as you guide the other toward the center of you.

He plays along at first, until his fingers are about to brush the part of you that’s positively tingling for his touch, and he abruptly pulls back, resting both of his hands on the countertop on either side of you.

“Ah, ah. That’s for when you use your words, my sweet.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, and suddenly, you’ve never been more greedy or more furious. 

Snatching at his waistband, you pull his hips forward and slip your hand over the linen to hold him. His breath catches at the back of his throat, and his eyes go wide, dumbfounded at the shift in power.

“And I said, the judge can’t tell you the answers.”

You level him with a look of quiet confidence as your fingers slip between his skin and the linen to hold him where he wants you most. His brows tip into softened u’s as the coolness of your touch brushes against him.

“Husband of the year should know what I want by now. I shouldn't have to tell him.”

You grasp him, fingers running delicately up the underside of him at the same time that you lick into his mouth. You feel him dip a bit as his knees buckle, making his hands on the counter the only thing holding him up.

“Mother of god,” he mumbles, even as his hips move in compliance with your touch. “Where did you learn that?”

“From the best,” you beam. Your smile is genuine, sweet and blindingly bright. It makes him want to take a bite out of the apples of your cheek, so he does. A playful nip that has you giggling and him pressing his lips together in fondness. 

The moment is sweet, until you catch his eyes with that same saccharine smile on your face, and take your hand away. His mouth opens, about to protest, until he watches you run your tongue in a long, slow stripe up your fingers before reaching back down behind his waistband to run the wet digits over his heated skin as you grasp him.

“Oh my… fuuuuck,” he exhales, his weight dropping to press into the counter. His face dips to lean against yours as he struggles to stay lucid. This feels so good, so out of nowhere, that his body is bursting to life more rapidly that he can keep up with. 

With every movement you make, he moves with you, gasping through his open mouth with every touch as he tries to keep his composure. Leaning into your forehead, he feels his nose bumping against yours as he searches for air. He feels nearly lightheaded but god, you’re incredible. Your touch feels so good- he never wants you to stop. 

Still, he wants control back though. To make you as much of a mewling mess as you’re currently making of him. He was enjoying the game you were both playing before, but he likes the feeling of winning more. However, just when he thinks he’s got a way to get the upper hand back, you ever so lightly twist your grip as you pump him, and suddenly, he can’t tell if he’s dying, ascending or blacking out. 

It feels so good so fast that he can barely remember his own name, let alone stage a coup. Your fingertips gently play with the tip of him at the top of each swell in your fluid flourish, and suddenly he can’t think of anything else to do with all this bursting excess inside of him but to kiss you. So he does. Open mouthed. Sloppy. Full of want. It feels so incredible that you can’t help but laugh brightly into his mouth, ethereally elegant, even as you wreck him. 

As you work, he can feel the way he’s growing harder with your attention, the way his blood feels like it’s singing the longer you touch him. His hips are obeying you like they belong to you, and at this point, he’s pretty sure they do. His mouth is painting your throat, adding swathes of crimson to the blooms he made before until your neck is colored with an entire bouquet of his affection. 

When he closes his eyes, the light behind them sparkles with effervescence as he listens to the quickness of your breath as you work. The sounds, the moans, the gasps you make as you touch him mingle with sounds of early morning nature and Namjoon wonders if this was what the poets meant when they described paradise. 

Pleasure is cresting over him in warm, molten waves now, and as it builds, he realizes he was wrong.

That as much as he loves your luminous eyes, your serene smile, the softness of your breasts, that those aren’t truly his favorite part of you if he’s honest. At least not right now. Not in moments like these. Because right now, with your hand wrapped around him, wrecking him with craving, that title is held by the treasure between your thighs; and as the blood rushes away from the rest of his body and swells where your hand lies, all he can think of, all he wants, is to bury himself in the wet, velvet warmth of you and never leave.

If he doesn’t get you naked with him inside you within the next three seconds, he thinks he might die.

So he does something about it.

“Open, baby. Open your legs for me,” he demands. It’s firm, commanding, but his eyes are so full of needy want that it’s hard to say who’s really in charge right now. 

Pushing your hand away and placing it on his chest, Namjoon kicks down his linen trousers and slides up your dress as you obey. He springs out, the length of him pressing into the meat of your thigh. It has you whimpering before you can catch yourself.

“God, I knew you were a smart boy. You’d figure it out eventually,” your voice is teasing, but your face is so dizzy, so desperate for him, that he could give you the whole world if you asked.

“You ready for me, baby?” His eyes are half blown with lust, his lashes hanging heavy as he runs his fingers over your opening, before collapsing against your shoulder. “ Oh my god.”

“What is it, Joon?”

“Nothing. I just,” he chuckles once, “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how wet you get for me.”

With no hesitation, he slips two fingers inside you as your belly contracts. Gasping his name, you can’t help but cling to him as light shoots through your body at the incredibly welcome feeling of his hands there.

“Nam- Namjoon, ah!” Wrapping your hands around his shoulders, you can feel your nails dig into his sturdy flesh as he begins rocking you with a motion so good, so fluid you fear you may simply float away and never touch the ground again.

“Yes, baby? What is it?” 

“You. I want you. Please.”

“You have me, baby.” His teeth are gritted in focus as he works you, his brow dipped low as he watches how easily you come undone with his attention. Warmth gushes over his fingers as he feels your walls contract in tandem with the tug of your hands in his hair. The sting is sharp and sublime as you grasp him tight with every part of you.

“Inside. Come inside. Need you. Now,” you plead. Your other hand trickles down his torso to the soft hair above his member before holding him firmly with a twist of your hand. He moans, hips canting into your delicate palm.

Namjoon doesn’t need to be told twice. Slipping his fingers out of the way, he scoops you safely to the edge of the island, one large hand stroking himself and guiding him to line up with your eager entrance.

The essence of you coats the tip of him without any effort, your body unfolding, so relaxed for him, as he easily begins to slip inside you. It’s so abundant that the slide is effortless, helping him bottom out almost immediately within you. Your head falls back in wonder as he does, your hands quickly planting against the cold counter to catch you. 

Wow. God, Namjoon’s body always has a tendency to overwhelm you, no matter how many times you get caught up in each other like this. You still can’t get over that. Honestly, it would be impossible to when he’s built like he is. 

He’s broad everywhere- that’s obvious to anyone. But here, he’s long and thick, with thighs like tree trunks powering each movement as he glides inside you. Any other time, you might have needed his help to adjust, for him to take his time to warm you up, but this morning? Your body is ready for him, and he knows it. 

It’s unfolding itself for him like a bloom to the sun, and he’s reverent enough to return its worship. You’re so wet that he can feel it trickling down his hip as he pistons into you, and he regrets not dipping down to sample a taste of it before coming inside. But now that he’s here, there’s absolutely no way he’s leaving the warmth of your walls until you're both falling over and spent.

Your ankles are crossed behind him, pulling him as close as you can get him, and his face is pressed against your neck and collarbone as both your hips work in dizzy tandem. The sensation of it sends his consciousness swirling as the pressure in his abdomen builds.

He’s convinced now that you’re a real, actual goddess. There’s no way you could make him feel this divine if you weren’t. Your ambrosia coats his thickness, spilling over him as he thrusts harder, deeper, tilting his hips to curve against that spot inside you that—

“Oh! God! Joon,” you yelp. “Yes, don’t stop.”

His grin is infectious. You can feel it against your skin as you pull him tighter, rocking in time with him as your euphoria builds. Your laugh is bright, sparkling as he licks his fingers and slips them swirling over the sensitive burst between your legs. Your breath catches, his name and profanity tumbling from your lips in equal measure.

You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. Your senses are on overload, your vision darkening around the edges as the pleasure he paints across your body escalates rapidly. Somewhere far off, you can hear his voice. His mouth is near your ear, his breath cooling your skin that’s become sticky with sweat, but you can’t understand, can’t wrap your brain around what he’s saying…

Until you realize that even fully coherent, you’d still be lost because your forever intoxicating husband has slipped back into his native tongue. You love it when this happens. With his senses so thoroughly drowning in you,  translating language just becomes too hard a thing to manage, so the harder and deeper he goes, the lower the bass in his voice becomes as he mumbles in korean against your ear.

You’ve learned enough to catch words like “beautiful” “perfect” and “God, I love you,” but the rest remain a mystery as he captures the innermost parts of your body for himself with swift, perfect strokes of his hips. The depth he’s reaching right now has you in raptures. It has your breath coming in short gasps as your breasts bounce buoyantly with each...incredible… thrust he delivers.

You won’t last much longer. You know it. And All you can think right now is how badly you want to look in his eyes when you come- which you know will happen any second now.

  Between his touch, his voice, the indescribable way he moves his hips when he’s inside you, and the crescendo you feel from the spot he’s internally caressing right now, you know you’re only moments away from dissolving into the atmosphere, yet all you want is more of him.

“Joon, baby, I’m so close. Look at me. Please,” you move one of the hands supporting you to hold his face and bring it to yours.

God, that please of yours. It flows so naturally from your lips when he has his way with you. He doesn’t know how to describe what it unleashes in him, but he knows it never fails to wreck him. “Shh, let go, baby girl. I’m right here. I got you.” 

Before he can think, he’s kissing you deeply, his tongue insatiable as he tastes you. He alternates between kissing you and pulling back to catch your eyes. The depth of affection in his gaze warms you brilliantly from the inside even as you swear you can practically feel his thrust against the underside of your lungs. 

His once seamless rhythm has become all feel and nuance. All order is long lost as he makes his last powerful dives into the depths of you. You can feel it- the tightness in his body, the firm set in his jaw, the profound depth of his voice as he praises your body in Korean. If you were to die like this, caught up in Namjoon’s impeccably loving, gracious body, you wouldn’t have a single regret.

There’s nothing more you could ask for. 

The glittering sensation pulsing through your body let’s you know it’s almost time to surrender, and you’re ready to come undone. Surely, there could be nothing more blissful than this— until Namjoon takes the hand he’s kept gripped around your waist and slips it up to your throat.

Your eyes go wide. 

He really was paying attention. Husband of the year, indeed. 

And just like that, the express trip to ecstasy nearly slams into your body. His eyes are locked on yours. He’s muttering a soft “good girl” and “that’s it, baby” as he works his powerful hips into you. He has one hand clamped firm and perfect below your jaw along your throat, and the other dancing elegantly along the bundle of nerves between your legs. He takes those fingers into his mouth to wet them, his face crumpling in a satisfied moan at the taste of you on his skin, before slipping them back where they belong. 

It’s altogether too much and you are lit up sparkling as the combined sensation of it all builds with the warmth of his body against you, within you. 

“Come for me, baby,” he says it clear and firm, his touch generous to help ease you over the edge. 

“Only if you come with me,” you breathe. Your eyes meet his as you try to find something to hold on to as the tension in you crests. 

He smiles then. All dimples and sweet eyes and perfect lips. He places a sweet kiss on your cheek beside your lips, and that’s all it takes to ruin you.

You feel your body contract around him in bliss as his name spills from your mouth. Making love to Namjoon has never felt commonplace, but there’s something about today. About him. About the sweetness of this morning in the middle of your perfect hidden home with him that makes you burst not only with pleasure, but with love. 

As your orgasm washes over you, you feel illuminated from within like the sun is glowing out of your skin as your body melts against him.

“I love you,” you whisper. “You’re so perfect.”

As your body floats back down from wherever you just astral projected from bliss, you can feel that his body is just a breath away from tipping over the edge itself. He’s pulling back, pulling out, intending to spill himself elsewhere, but in that instant, you realize you don’t want that.

Your memory flashes back to your wedding day. To the moment those hideous people decided to squawk about your child-rearing, heir-producing duty just hours after your vows, and Namjoon had cut them off immediately at the jump and whispered,” don’t pay them any mind. That happens when you’re ready. Not a second before,” soft against your ear. 

It was one of the first instances that made you realize what a good man he was. How willing he was to put your readiness, your comfort, before anyone or anything else. And now, as you take him in, as you remember how truly and deeply you love him, you realize you’re ready for there to be more.

You’ve had countless discussions with him about starting a family, and everytime, without missing a beat, his answer has always been, “whenever you’re ready, I’m ready.” 

You've come to learn over this past year that he’s wanted nothing more than to become a dad since he was a small boy.

You’ve gotten to witness how fun, gentle and gracious he is with his nephews. With Jimin’s daughter, his sweet godchild. For a year, you’ve watched him be good and kind to any child he meets, patient with you, subdued as he hides the depth of his desire to be a father behind his dimpled smiles and suave redirection when you bring it up. 

He’s been willing to wait for you. He never pushes. He never demands. And in this moment, as you study the face of the incredible man who’s welcomed you into his heart and his home, all you want is to begin the journey to give him what you know he will never ask for, even though it’s what the secret parts of his heart want the most. 

“Namjoon,” you whisper,” don’t. It’s okay. You can finish inside me.” You caress his face lovingly as his eyes go wide. 

“Really? But baby… I… what…” Your eternally eloquent man has gone slack jawed in his loss for words as his hips begin to still.

“It’s okay,” you nod. “I want you to. I want to feel you.” You kiss the dip of his dimple.

“Are you sure? i-“ he stumbles before you lovingly cut him off.

“I think it’s about time we start trying for our family, don’t you?” You whisper. Your fingers thread through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes as his face beams with light. His shoulders and chest are shaking with laughter as his eyes flit between yours and he smiles.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” His hands slip up to cradle your face, the most beautiful mixture of excitement and relief and the purest joy making his misty eyes look brilliant in the early light.

“Absolutely,” your voice is soft as you tip your nose against his. Your smile is all pearls and laughter as you reach to grab the full apples of his ass and push him into you.

He’s laughing and smiling and gasping when you do, before happily resuming the final few thrusts he would need to send himself over the edge.

“Use me, baby,” you whisper, eyes alight with the gentle seduction that always ruins him. “I want to feel you when you finish.”

Biting his lip, he swallows and nods, almost too eager, but you’re beautiful and warm and you’ve gotten so tight around him and he can’t help himself. He’s close. He’s already soo close. He’s spent nearly this whole morning trying to contain himself inside you despite the absolutely mind numbing feel of you, and here you are telling him to let go? It’s impossible that you’re real.

Pulling his face to you, he realizes you’re kissing him. Your honey sweet tongue has made a home in his mouth. Your soft breasts brush his chest with every thrust. Your hands are clutching his back and in his hair. Your heels pressed into the back of his legs to pull him close, and now he knows you want to carry his baby.

To allow your body to grow and change just to hold his seed, start his family and realize his dream of not only being a husband to you but a dad to your babies. He’s so in love with you. So maddeningly, ridiculously, stupidly, over the moon in love with you, and all at once, it’s happening.

His release is coming, strong and quick, and he can finally drown in the feeling of it happening while you surround him. His body is reeling at the burst of perfection he feels from losing himself in you like this. The cloud like swells of your thighs pressing around him might very well be the only thing holding him up.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, I love you.” His face is buried in your neck, your chest, your hair, your cheeks- everything all at once- his full lips dropping kisses on your skin like stars falling from heaven. 

When he pulls back to look at you, he can’t even put what he’s feeling into words. But it’s okay. Because you know. He can see it in your eyes.

Cradling his face, you smile up at him, eyes glossy and happy. “You ready?” 

“To have a baby with you?” His voice falters as his smile grows so wide his eyes nearly disappear. “There isn’t anything I want more.”

Pressing his forehead to yours as he hugs your waist, you both press your noses together and laugh. Overcome with something almost too sweet to simply be called happiness. The word seems too small to encompass it all.

“Maybe I’m not husband of the year yet, cause I definitely didn’t see that coming.” He chuckles.

“Oh shut up. I know you felt how you made me finish. You’re just showing off at this point.”

“I can’t have my baby girl leave anyway but satisfied with me.” He winks, and you smack his chest lightly.

“I’d be mad at you for being so smug if you weren’t actually as great as you think you are,” you scrunch your nose at him as he laughs.

“Well, if there are any areas of improvement I can work on, let me know. I hear I'm about to have a lot of time to workshop your suggestions.” Namjoon lovingly nips at your collarbone, and you tingle in bliss at the thought of how many more moments like this lie in your near future.

“Duly noted. On that note then, I feel compelled to point out that what you just did counted as an excellent submission for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” He licks his lips slowly as you nod.

“Remember- you can make as many entries as you want.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Limitless,” you assent. 

“Good to know. I’ll keep it mind,” he smirks, dipping down to lift the fullness of one of your breasts into his hand as he gently kisses the top of the swell of flesh. You sigh into his kiss. This is going to be a spectacular journey— you can already tell.

“Namjoon.”

“Hmm?” His eyes perk up, though his mouth never leaves its preoccupation with your bare chest.

“Is this… is this okay? I hope I didn’t spring this on you too soon or… I don’t know...too out of the blue? Because your comfort is important too, and I—“

You’re swiftly cut off by the sweet press of Namjoon’s delicious lips against yours. “Shh. Yes, I want this. More than anything.”

“So my timing wasn’t—“

“No. It was perfect. You’re perfect,” he kisses the tip of your nose as your lips bloom into a smile. “And if we are going to try to fill that cute belly of yours with a baby, then maybe… maybe this shouldn’t just be a weekend visit.”

Tipping your head to look at him, you feel your brows scrunch. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this has always been our getaway spot. A place to stay safe and lie low when things get jumpy in the city. A place to take you when we want to be alone. Truly be alone. But if…” he hesitates, lacing your hand with his and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “If you’re going to be carrying my baby, I want to keep you safe. I promised you that the day I met you- I’d never let anything happen to you. It’s been risky enough to have you in the city all this time as it is.”

“So...what exactly are you suggesting, love?” You run your thumb lovingly over his knuckles.

“I’m proposing if you do get pregnant, we move you out here. Permanently. Or at least somewhat long term.”

“Wait…” you pull away, eyes clouding as you do. “Alone? Without you?”

“No. No. I didn’t word that right. I’d be here as much as i can, and I’d send the security detail to stay out here whenever I have to leave so—“

“Namjoon, I don’t want to be all the way out here by myself. Surely, that’s not necessary.”

He frowns as he tries to gather his thoughts. “This is coming out wrong...You wouldn’t be fully by yourself. I’d be here as much as I can. I just... want you protected. Safe. And out of the city while you're carrying something so precious.” The backs of his knuckles graze your stomach. 

“But I don’t understand. Why—“

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you.” His voice has turned solemn, his eyes an odd shade of vulnerability when they meet yours. 

“Joon, nobody’s gonna do anything. You’ve made that city so secure-nobody could hurt me even if they tried.”

Something stormy and troubled clouds his eyes.It makes you wonder if there are things he hasn’t told you. Things he’s kept to himself to ensure that your life is as peaceful as possible. You wonder what kind of darkness he’s had to swallow for your sake. 

“But they have tried.”

It's news to you. 

“What do you mean… when?” 

“It’s happened a few times. Nothing ever got far enough to warrant bringing it up.”

“What on earth? Joon, why in the world wouldn’t you tell me that?” 

He sighs once, from some deep place in his bones. “Because i never wanted to have to see the look in your eyes that I do right now.”

Suddenly, any anger you held vanishes all at once. 

“Baby, why are you carrying something like that all by yourself?”

“So you don’t have to. I promised I’d keep you safe, and I meant it. That includes taking care of your peace of mind. Something you won’t have if you knew how many times someone’s shot off at the mouth about coming for you because they’re irate at me or how many times someone has done more than just talked and actually tried.”

It’s a sobering thought.

“Is that… is that the real reason why you never pushed for an heir?” For reasons you can’t explain, the idea makes you want to cry. Namjoon sees the shift immediately, his fingers ready to brush your tears before they even fall.

“Shhh, hey. No. I mean, it’s part of it. You know all I’ve ever wanted was to be a parent. When I married you, please know the idea of you being the mother of my children sent me over the moon, but I know this world. How people take what they want. Do what they want. I wanted better for you.” He runs his fingers soft over your cheek like you’re some spun glass artifact he needs to protect. 

“I wanted to be better for you than the men in this world were going to give you. I promised myself that I was never going to demand anything from you. That’s why I didn’t push for an heir. I meant it when I said we go at your pace. Always.”

Sniffling, you look up at him through wet lashes. 

“Joon, protecting me doesn’t mean you hide the truth from me.”

“Not even if it would hurt you? Scare you?”

“I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to marry you. It’s so kind of you to try to take these burdens so I don’t have to, but then who carries them for you? That’s my job. You have to let me do it.”

Closing his eyes, he exhales long and slow through his nose. 

“You really mean it, don’t you? You really want to know.”

“Yes,” you nod, caressing his face. He looks troubled. You’d give anything to help take some of his cares away.

“Then you should know why we came to the villa this weekend.”

“So it wasn’t just for a getaway?” You brace yourself for whatever it is you’re about to hear.

“It is, and it isn’t. I guess I have to go back a bit for this to make any sense, but my family isn’t from here. You know that. Our roots don’t go back as many generations as yours do, so when the new kid on the block started gaining power in this city faster than anyone had seen before, there were a lot of families that weren’t happy about it.

Especially not when the daughter of one of the oldest families in the city became my bride. There had already been a lot of grumbling against me before I made such a powerful ally, and there were certainly plenty after. Anything we’d stumbled on over the last few months had been mostly hearsay, but…”

“What is it, Joon?” You're worried now. You can hear the way his voice sounds choked.

“There was a deal that went wrong a few weeks back. Just a skirmish with some lower level captains that got out of control, but I thought I’d put a pin in it. Turns out the other family involved hadn’t let it go like I thought …” he stops, eyes going cold as color drains from his face.

“Baby, it’s okay. You can tell me,” you reassure. 

Closing his eyes, he licks his lips and takes a deep breath, his voice lower, raspier when he continues. “There was a hit put out on you this past week.

You’re shocked. “There— what?”

”It’s okay now. Jungkook caught intel on it soon enough that he crushed it before the people responsible could hurt you, but I've never seen anyone get this close. Y/n, I couldn't breathe when he told me. When I found out, I nearly lost my mind. I called you immediately to make sure you were safe— I couldn’t breathe til I heard your voice.”

You had no idea he’d been through that. You can’t imagine what you would have done if the roles were reversed, if you’d been seconds away from losing him. It would’ve shattered you. You’re not sure how he’s still standing.

“Once I knew you were okay, the first thing I could think was that I needed to get you out of town as fast as I possibly could. Something’s building in that city, y/n. The lower families are tired of their rank. They’re itching to get back any sort of power they can- it’s making them reckless. There’s rumors of a war building…I’d dismissed it so far. Didn’t think they were a real threat until they had the nerve to try something like this. We squashed it, but this was too close, and I’m not willing to risk you.”

Realization dawns across your face. “That’s why we left with less than an hour's notice. I’d thought you were just being romantic about a weekend getaway but ...That’s why we came to this safe house and not the one on the edge of town, isn’t it?”

His eyes fall away as he nods, “That’s why our security detail was thicker than usual.”

“But I've hardly seen anyone.”

“That’s on purpose. I didn’t want to scare you.  Didn't want to draw attention to a whole parade leaving town so I had them follow us at a distance. They’re stationed all around the property and schooled to stay out of sight.”

“What about the boys? Was it safe to have them here this weekend with their wives? Their girlfriends? Didn’t we put them in danger?” Your rounded eyes betray the sudden guilt you feel for what you thought had been such a beautiful night.

“Shh, no. Hey, they’re fine. I had them all moved out to safe houses not too far from here with a security detail on them too. They’re just a few miles from here. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about them driving out last night- they didn’t have to go all the way back to the city, just to our guest houses and then their safe houses in the morning….I’m having them all lie low for a little while. Figured they’d want their girlfriends and wives as close to their side as I want mine. Thought having them over was a good distraction for a night.”

You had no idea. Something cold runs up your spine at the thought that this weekend, this beautifully perfect day could’ve been so different. Or perhaps not even happened at all. 

Slipping your dress back into place, you cover yourself. It feels wrong to have this conversation half naked. Namjoon seems to sense it too as he pulls his pants back on. He offers to help ease you down from the counter, picking you up and placing you gently on the whitewashed floorboards, making sure you’re steady before he lets you go. 

Under any other circumstances, you’d laugh at how he has to make you sure you’re stable enough not to keel over where you stand after blessing you with an orgasm so bright it makes your soul radiate around your body. Now though, you find your hand cradling your lower belly, feeling entirely naive for thinking now was the time to bless the world with Namjoon’s child. You should say something, but the words get stuck in your throat…. you feel like a fool.

“I’m gonna make us some coffee, yeah? You want a cup?” Namjoon offers softly. When you look up, he looks so worn out all of a sudden. Like he’s somehow aged years during the course of this conversation. Like he really does need a cup of coffee, if not something stronger.

“Sure, baby. I’ll take one.”

Nodding, he presses a kiss to your forehead before he plugs in the black gooseneck kettle you’d gotten him for his birthday. The gift had been simple, thoughtful, and if he was honest, it was the best present anyone had ever given him.

He practically survives on black coffee most days. At the beginning of your marriage, he was always long gone before you rose most mornings, so in an attempt to slow him down and have more time with him, you’d gotten him a pour over set and a gooseneck kettle to replace his old instant apparatus.

He wondered if you were aware of all the additional gifts it had given him along the way....It required time to steep and brew. Time he’d never given himself before he met you. The methodology of it soothed him, provided his mornings with a small structure and routine he’d never had in a lifestyle marked by so much chaos. 

Taking the time to make his absolutely necessary coffee this way helped wake him up gently, slowed him down enough for you to have the time to slip out of bed and catch him before he was gone, to hold him while he prepared it. To remind him of the precious reason he needed to be careful while he was out that day. 

As the water boils, he turns his back to you. He feels himself melt when your arms wind around him. Softly, you press a kiss between his shoulder blades before your touch slips away as quietly as it appeared. The subtle sounds of your footsteps fading as you walk away and the gentle buzzing of the kettle are all that fill the room in the silence between you.

Namjoon sighs as he turns, his arms crossed as he leans against the counter to watch you.  Without a word, you silently procure a hearty loaf of fresh,crusty bread from the pantry and begin to slice it for breakfast. As your head tips down in concentration, he watches your untamed hair fall in your eyes. It’s beautiful the way it frames your face. It makes something squeeze in the center of his chest.

Crossing the room, he comes to stand beside you, lightly brushing your hair back into place for you with his hand. You still in your task, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes, baby?” 

“If it’s this dangerous…” your voice is barely above a whisper, “this unsafe… does that mean we shouldn’t have a baby?” When you look up at him, your eyes are starlit with tears. Your hands are trembling, and he hates to see you so sad.

“No. You’re ready, and I want a family,”’he soothes.

“But… but if there’s this much risk, how can our child ever have a normal life? Won’t we always be afraid for them all the time? Is that selfish? To make a life that has to live in this world just because we want them to?”

He brushes his fingers over the cascade of teardrops starting to fall from your eyes. “All parents have to worry about that, y/n. This world is still a scary place even outside my line of work.”

“I know. But they don’t have to worry about a hit on their child’s life or a ransom or generation’s old grudges putting their child at risk....They just have to worry about whether or not a child in their daughter’s class has a peanut allergy because little ashley will only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches right now and nothing else.”

You’re talking with your hands as Namjoon gives you a smile that’s equally warm and sad. “That’s a really specific scenario.”

“I went through a phase in first grade, okay?”

He finds your eyes until you laugh before pulling you in tight against his chest. “First of all, that’s adorable. We’ll address that again later because little y/n sounds incredibly cute. And secondly,” he sighs,” you grew up in this world- the same as me- and we both survived. Having a child is expected of us, yes, but if that’s not what you want... it doesn’t have to happen. But, if we both want one… if being a mom will make you happy, then I’m going to find a way to give you that.” There’s a heaviness about him right now. An authority resigned to accept whatever fate weighs on your heart the most as he watches your eyes fill with questions.

“But won’t we be afraid for them all the time? I feel so naive for only thinking of how much I’d like to meet them, how much I’d love them just because they’re a part of you, when I should have known better.”

“That’s not naive. That’s beautiful. No matter what they’re like, we’ll love them. Because they’re ours.”

“What if they don’t want any part of this world? They should have a choice… but can I even give them one or will their only option be serving as the new head of the Kim family one day?” Your face looks stricken. “Did you get to choose?” Your watery eyes flit up to his. 

He swallows, face stony as you survey him. “I did what I had to do so our life can look however we want it to,” he’s sighing again, worn out out by memories you may never see. “Look, you’re my wife, and I’m your husband. As far as I’m concerned, we’re the ones get to decide what’s right for us, y/n. I’ve told you that, and I meant it- that extends to our children too. Their lives don’t have to look like what anyone else wants but them. I don’t care if they want to be painters or accountants or captains in the family. They get to shape the life they want. That’s what I’ve worked so hard for.”

You feel your eyes flutter shut in relief on their own accord. Of course he’s already thought this through to this degree. When has your Namjoon ever done anything less? It soothes your mind to know he’s taken the time to lay the groundwork so you don’t have to. Still though, questions you’re ashamed didn't occur to you sooner rattle through your head and spill from your mouth.

“Do they have to spend their life in boarding school like I did? Are our only options to send them away or be scared for them every day?

“Y/n, no. We’ll find what works for our family. I want that with you- figuring that out and watching them grow. I’ll keep you both safe. However I have to. I promise you.” His thumb brushes over your ring as he holds your hand against his chest. “I promised you.”

And just like that, it hits you all over again- how much you love this man. How deeply you trust him with every fiber of your being. How you couldn’t have found a better man to love you if you’d tried. You two are it for each other- you’ve known it since the day you met him on the steps.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your knuckles,”... but, y/n?”

Your eyes flit up to meet his. “Yes, love ?”

“I meant what I said. If this is all too much, if this scares you, we can wait.” His brown eyes are so deep and sincere. You know every part of him means it, and it’s precisely because of that, that you say the words you do.

“No. I want this. All of this. With you. We’ll figure this out,” you nod, gently pulling the back of his neck down so your foreheads are touching. “I want to have a baby with you. I’m all in, if you are.”

You can feel the rush of tension that leaves his body. He wraps you in his arms, so close and secure, and something innocent comes from him that you don’t think you’ve ever heard.

“God, you know I am. Thank you.”

His voice is as robust and full as always, but his eyes… there’s something so young and soft and terrified in them. Like the weight of all he’s been carrying alone has crashed down on him all at once. “I’m so excited to have a baby with you if it happens. And it’s okay if it doesn’t. But I can’t wait to try.”

You’re nodding and crying, and you realize something that perhaps has never dawned on you before. This is the first time you’ve seen him truly this vulnerable. He’s always so strong, so composed. Too busy holding up an entire empire and caring for you to let his walls fully fall. 

But as he buries his face in your neck, you suddenly feel dampness pooling against your skin and realize he’s crying. You wonder how you got here on a morning that had been so serene and full of bliss. Bliss you now realize has come at a price.

“I was so scared I'd lost you the day we came here.” Slipping your hand into his hair, the other soothes his back as he clings to you tighter. “I'm so glad you’re okay. You’re so smart. I know you are. You don’t make reckless mistakes when you’re out— you take good care of yourself— but I was so afraid. My heart dropped when Jungkook told me what he’d heard. He couldn’t calm me down until I heard your voice on the phone.”

Stroking his hair, you recall the phone call just a few days ago. How strangled and out of breath he’d sounded. How you’d asked if he was okay, and he’d simply said he was now.

“It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay.” 

He takes a moment to collect himself, pressing you so close you may fuse together. It’s unguarded, and precious. Something you know both of you treasure as he nuzzles into your skin in that space along your neck where his face perfectly fits.

It’s as simple as that. You both stay like this for as long as you can, secure in his embrace, your breathing settling until it’s nearly in sync. It’s peaceful for you, cathartic for him. It’s a moment framed by a different kind of intimacy than the one you both shared in this very room less than an hour ago. 

He shows no sign of letting you go until the kettle begins to howl for him from across the room. When he does, his fingers trace the silk fabric along your waist as his lips kiss your forehead. He takes one more heavy breath before he squeezes you in release to tend to the coffee.

“Cream and sugar?” He asks, his voice thicker than usual.

“Always,” you answer.

And so the morning resets itself. 

The day shifts into afternoon. The sun drifting higher, brighter, casting the shadows and ridges of Namjoon’s sculpted body in almost Grecian relief as he carefully pours the water for both of you over the coffee grounds. You finish slicing the crackling bread loaf and bring it to the table to place it beside the remnants of Seokjin’s charcuterie board. 

It’s only when you catch sight of your lacy table cloth that you remember the accident that started the whole morning to begin with. You’d both gotten so preoccupied with each other that you never made it any further than cleaning his shirt and not the rest of the disaster.

Smiling to yourself, you gently slide the cloth off the table and fill the sink with cold water to soak it. Looking over at your husband, you realize wine stains still swirl over the front of Namjoon’s linen pants. There’s a very good chance those are fully set now, but just in case, you might as well try to fix them. 

So, gently, you hook a finger into his waistband and tug. “Let me have these.”

“Round two all ready? Greedy girl.” He winks, his voice soft as follows the drip of his Colombian roast.

“No, smart girl. We did a terrible job of getting you cleaned up.” You pop the p at the end of the word as you snap the elastic on his pants.

Looking a bit lost, Namjoon glances down to see the lovely pastel splashes of rosé running clean down the front of his pants. He’d been too busy to notice once you’d gotten him out of them. Blushing for no reason other than the embarrassment of you having to clean up his foibles, Namjoon dips down to remove the trousers, leaving himself looking statuesque and unreasonably gorgeous in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs in the afternoon light as he tends to the coffee.

You feel terribly immature over how quickly affected you are by the sight of him in his current predicament and carefully take the pants from him, only to turn abruptly in search of some fresh air and relief. Namjoon catches your equally flustered state, smiling to himself, but doesn’t acknowledge it out loud. This spell of quiet that’s settled over the room is too peaceful to break.

Once the coffee’s done, he brings both your cups to the broad heirloom table, and you enjoy breakfast… or, he supposes, brunch at this point...together in the stillness. Every bite you take is piled high with prosciutto and fig while Namjoon drizzles honey on his slices of bread. 

It’s peaceful, idyllic. Tranquil enough to forget the world that awaits him back in the city.

It’s funny, the duality of his life. How easy it becomes in moments like these to lean into the simplicity of breakfast with his lover and ignore the undulating danger and uncertainty awaiting him in the rest of his world. It makes him realize how much he’s come to covet exchanges like this when he gets to feel like you’re just two people in love and nothing else. 

As his eyes trace over you, he promises himself to do everything in his power to make sure your life with him is hallmarked by sweet pockets like these. As many of them as he can give you. 

At some point Namjoon pushes up to get the carafe of orange juice from the fridge, and after assigning your more capable hands the job of opening the champagne, you both polish off your brunch with the tinkling clink of your toasting mimosa glasses. 

Once your bellies are full and satiated, Namjoon looks up at you. His elbows are propped up on the table, chin contentedly resting in his hands. There’s a question hidden in the corner of his lips as his eyes glisten with mischief.

“So… what else do you have in mind for your agenda today, my bride?” He reaches across the table to grab your hand, kissing the back of your palm as you giggle and roll your eyes.

“Well if you must know... I'm thinking I might give my sister a call. See if she’d be willing to come pay me visit.” You offer, pushing one of the last grapes around the corner of the board, avoiding the way Namjoon’s eyes shine. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you shrug nonchalantly. “Maybe she could come stay in one of the guest houses. Potentially. Once I move out here. Whenever that may be.” 

“So my baby won’t be alone when I’m gone?” His dimples are popping in his cheeks as his smile spreads wide. It’s a brilliant idea to bring her out here with you until Namjoon can finesse a way to be by your side 24/7. He wonders why he didn’t think of it sooner. Probably because you’re as smart as you are beautiful. 

“Neither of your babies.” You crinkle your nose as you smile back at him. 

“I like the sound of that,” he’s beaming back at you, happy and light. His eyes are misty with emotion he can’t hide, and it only makes you love him more.

“Me too.”

“So, how would you feel about getting to work as soon as possible then?” His eyebrows bounce salaciously your way, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Is that what you want?” 

“If it’s what you want. Always.” Namjoon licks his lips and a crackle of electricity shoots up your spine. The parallels to how this morning started are not lost on you. It makes something in you thrill with excitement.

“Well, I would love to take a bath. Our activity this morning was excellent, but I must say you left a bit of a sticky mess in your wake.”��

“Sorry,” Namjoon ducks his head bashfully.

“So I’m going to break in that beautiful clawfoot tub and fill it to the brim with matcha bubble bath.”

“Mmm. With the orange blossom bath salts too?”

“Always,” you wink as Namjoon bites his lip.

“God, you always smell so good when you use that. It makes your skin so soft.” The thought of your skin fragrant and bare has his blood stirring again as his eyes rake over you.

“Well you are welcome to keep me company and read to me while I soak,” you offer nonchalantly as you walk away. You can feel his eyes on your hips as you round the corner, quickly followed by the sound of his bare feet against the floorboards.

“Or I could join you in the water.”

When he responds, his voice is closer than you expected it to be. He’s caught up to you so quickly with those long legs of his.

“Or you could finish the chapter of the book you were reading to me on the way up. You left me on such a cliffhanger when your hands got distracted on the drive. I’m dying to know what happens next.”

Biting his lip, that wicked gleam is back in his eyes at the memory of the drive up and the things the two of you got up to in the privacy of the tinted, shielded back seat.

“Fair enough, but I get to join after.” His hand is forceful where it slips across your waist. You tumble into him, wanting nothing more than to let him win and start this game all over again, but you had a feeling you were winning this round, and you like to win.

“I can promise you no such thing. We’ll just have to see how the day goes,” you shrug, dismissing him completely to climb the stairs.

As much as he enjoys the view, Namjoon loves the play for dominance more: it’s cute on you. Too bad he’s still got the upper hand. He catches you on the stairwell, turning you around to face him. His hand ghosts down the front of your silk draped stomach directly to the dip between your legs.

 He places enough pressure to catch your sensitivity there, smiling something wicked at the sound of your sharp inhale. He already knows how delicate you are after you’ve already finished once until he warms your body up again. The prospect of starting this dance all over again has him stiffening with delight against your leg when he feels the familiar slip of your essence help the fabric glide beneath his touch.

“Oh baby girl, you have no idea how well this day is gonna go.” His voice has dipped to an octave reserved only for the devil as he smiles at you and lifts you off the stairs and into his arms.

You squeal at the suddenness of it, wrapping your arms securely around his neck so you don’t fall. He just chuckles, something throaty and dark, as he carries you up the stairs and down the hall to the sunlit bathroom. 

Setting you on the counter, he turns to start the bath- scooping in bath salts, pouring your bubbles, raising the blinds so the room is flooded with light. He doesn’t want to miss a single look on your beautiful face when he has his way with you for a second time today.

Not once has it occurred to you to move from the spot where he put you. Instead, you sit perfectly still on the bathroom counter, feeling your nails dig into your palms, your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you watch him. Your pulse is already thrumming with anticipation all over again. 

When he turns back to you, you can see clear evidence of his arousal reshaping itself beneath his black briefs, and suddenly, despite your meal, there’s something else entirely that you want in your mouth. He catches the hungry way your eyes follow him as he walks back to you.

“Can I help you, baby?” His laugh is warm, even if his eyes are sinister. It’s all you can do just to nod your head and slip your fingers forward to tug at his waistband. When it begins to fall, you slip down to the floor, catching him off guard entirely. Not in a million years did Namjoon didn't plan on this course of events, but he certainly isn't unhappy about it. 

Namjoon leans back against the counter in the spot you’d just been sitting in as your hands grasp onto the muscular ridges of his toned legs. You set to work kissing his golden skin on his thighs slowly, indulgently, enjoying yourself as you go. 

You’ve always been weak in the knees for his absurdly gorgeous legs. They’ve only gotten more toned in the last year just like the rest of him, and between his dimples, his arms, his chest, and his legs, it’s hard to know where to begin. Or it would be if there wasn’t something hard and beautiful staring you in the face.

Namjoon is in heaven watching this unfold from above. When you slip him into your mouth, he feels all his rational thought go dark. He’s helpless to do anything but cave in. God, the two of you are like rabbits, but honestly, how can you not be when you make him feel like this? He begins to lose himself in the soft rhythm you create, something lazy and hypnotic, that makes him feel weightless.

He can barely hold himself, but every second is worth it. All he can do is luxuriate in the way you take your time as you bless him. At least, that’s how he always thinks of it because it’s truly nothing short of divine. 

He can’t tell if it’s been a few minutes or an eternity when all of a sudden, you’re abruptly letting him slip from your mouth with a pop and a sultry smile. The cool air rushing against him nearly startles him in the wake of the warmth he’d been cocooned in while your tongue did its incredible work. Because just as quickly as you started, you’re gone. 

He realizes then that the floor is wet. Apparently, You’d both gotten so lost in each other that the water in the tub had spilled over its edges and he hadn’t even noticed. Also, at some point during all this, you must have slipped out of your dress, because you’re lowering yourself into the water now as bare as you were on your wedding night.

Namjoon swallows. His body is ramping with endorphins, and he’s so worked up it nearly hurts. As he makes his way to the tub, you stop him with a dainty hand against his lower stomach.

“Ah, ah. I asked you to read to me.” 

Your eyes are coquettishly round as you bat them up at him. He’s tempted to scoff.

“Are you serious right now? Aren’t we in the middle of something?” His face is serious, focused as he eyes your breasts floating in the water amidst the matcha- scented bubbles.

You push back against his stomach again. “Yes, we were… in the middle of that last chapter. Book. Please.”

There it is again. The “please” he’s always been so enamored by. The “please” that’s usually the product of your need for him. The one he’s so infatuated with that he’d do anything to satisfy it. The one that, up until now, he’d thought you were unaware of, yet here you are using it against him.

That’s when he knows he’s trained you too well. There’s pride sparkling in your eyes as you look up at him, and he can’t believe it. Running a hand down his face, he shakes his head at you. What has he gotten himself into with you?

“ If that’s the way you want to play it, fine,” he squints at you with playful derision. “But I’m reading to you in the tub with you when I come back.”

“Oh please do,” you coo, batting your lashes at him.

Oh, you’re good. 

Namjoon can’t help but laugh at himself as he walks to the bedroom to collect the book. When he met you a year ago- the blushing, soft spoken girl who was too nervous to meet his eyes- he definitely never would have thought that a year later you’d be sending him down the hallway fully naked and half hard to fetch your literature for you while you float in a bath. He wonders when he got so wrapped around your finger like this, but if he’s honest, he doesn’t mind.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

 Being with you is the best his life has ever been. He’ll forever be grateful, that against all odds, you agreed to marry a man who was nearly a perfect stranger and create a life with him.

As he walks back to the bathroom, Namjoon catches a glimpse of your rosy smile flashing his way, peeking at him beyond the wall of bubbles. It fills his chest with something buoyant and light as he makes his way back to you.

There’s absolutely nowhere he’d rather be.

As he sinks down in the water behind you, more displaces, splashing out across the white wood beams and dousing your hair in the process. He apologizes profusely but instead of getting mad, you simply slip the rest of the way under the water to finish the job. When you resurface, you’re laughing so happily that your smile is the brightest thing in the room, putting even the afternoon sunlight to shame.

He pulls you to him, affection for you glowing warmly in his chest as you settle between his legs and look up at him. He kisses your forehead, his heart filled with contentment, before reaching forward to dry his hands on the closest available towel and thumbing through the book until he finds the page he marked.

The two of you stay that way until the chapter is finished and the book is closed. Until the bubbles all dissolve and the water’s gone cold. Even then, once the water is drained, you still stay wrapped in a tangle of Namjoon’s long limbs as you twist to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him.

Eventually he straightens out his legs to allow you to climb into his lap so he can find his way home again and slip inside you. Your bodies are swathed in the golden light illuminating the room as the two of you go effortlessly slow and unhurried, taking your time . 

Namjoon sinks into you, lost in the beauty of you and your connection. 

This time, your session together is marked in emotion and security. 

He knows how much you want to start a family with him, and you know how special it was for him to let his walls down, to let you know how scared he was to lose you. Both of you are in awe of not only how attracted you are to each other, but also of the caliber of human you’re currently sharing your bodies with, of how transcendent love making can feel when your hearts and hopes are as interwoven in the act as they now are with all your cards on the table.

When Namjoon finishes this time, it’s in sync with you. It’s the first time that happened for the two of you in tandem. As your eyes search his, you're both aware that this shared state of bliss is nothing short of miraculous. As story-worthy as this act has always been between the two of, this time feels different. Markedly so.

Perhaps, it’s because you’ve both dropped your guards enough to fully let the other in, in a way you hadn’t uncovered before. If the crashing of his heartbeat has anything to say about it, Namjoon would probably guess that you've both sunken so deep into each other that it was impossible for the crescendo of your orgasms  not  to crest all at once for the both of you.

Once you’ve gathered yourself enough to speak, you watch Namjoon with dazed eyes, in awe that someone as incredible as him even exists, let alone that you get to call him yours. As he slips out of you, the warmth of his seed flows out between your thighs, and some ridiculous part of you can’t help but smile.

Namjoon catches it too, and leans forward to kiss you. 

“You’re gonna be a great mom, you know that?”

Your eyes flash to meet his. Your body is spent, your emotions are big and at this point, your heart feels so filled to the brim with affection for him that you fear it won’t fit in your body anymore.

“They’re gonna be the luckiest kids in the world to have you for a dad,” you whisper with shining eyes as you touch his chest.

He dips his head, smiling so exorbitantly wide that it consumes his whole face, and all you can think is that you can’t wait to see that dimpled grin shining back at you from the face of a little boy or little girl down the road.

“By the way,” you begin as his gaze perks back up to meet yours. “You should know that we’ve tallied the votes for husband of the year.”

“Oh really?” His brows lift attentively. “Should I pack it up? Is it time to let the dream go? Surely it’s not going to a rookie this year.”

“You’d be surprised,” you tip your head. Taking his hands you place them so they’re cradling your chest. “On behalf of the board and the esteemed academy, it is my honor to present the award of husband of the year to you, Kim Namjoon.”

As he throws his head back, he bursts into a bright fit of laughter and mock cheering like you’re both surrounded by a make believe crowd. 

“Oh my goodness,” he squeezes your breasts in his palm like the globes are irreplaceable awards. “I would just like to thank all the people around the world who supported me and believed me, who shined the light of their support on me even on days when this seemed bleak. We couldn’t have made it here without you guys. This award belongs to all of you.”

He waves to the imaginary audience he’s created before pressing your breasts together and happily burying his smiling face between them. He mumbles something you can’t understand that gets lost in the downy softness of your chest as you laugh at him.

“What are you even saying down there?”

“I’m thanking the people who got me here.” He eyes you soberly like that should be obvious before breaking character and cackling at how ridiculous this is. “I can’t believe we really kept this joke going all day.”

“I can’t believe I got in the tub to clean up the mess you left earlier only to now, once again, be sticky with dried up mess.” You look ruefully between your legs.

“Hey, hey, that mess may very well become your child.” He tuts as you grin and narrow your eyes at him. 

“I don’t think that’s how this works.”

“Semantics,” he shrugs, kissing your nose. You can’t help your eye roll that follows. “Hey,” he breathes, eyes suddenly serious.

“Yes, love?” 

“Please know, whatever happens, I’ll always love you, and I’ll always take care of you. Both of you, if we’re so lucky.” The tips of his fingers rest against your lower belly, and yep. You were right. Your heart bursts clean out of your chest. You can feel the way your eyes glisten, happiness spilling from them as you get lost in Namjoon’s smile.

“I know you will, Joon. I know you will.”

-fin.

[putschki1969]

2022/03/31 Blog post by Wakana 春だけのお楽しみ！！〜桜とアイスクリームとカップルと〜 

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗ Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Joys of Spring！！〜Sakura, Ice Cream and a Couple〜

This may come out of nowhere but I am actually a big fan of Baskin Robbins’s "Chocolate Chips" ice cream! ️🍦 However, this flavour was discontinued several years ago ... I was really sad about this and every time I saw a store, I was hoping for them to bring back Chocolate Chips (;_;)

Recently they have brought it back as a limited-time flavour! !! \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و //// Now all I want is to buy 10 cups with a Double Scoop of Chocolate Chips, put them in my freezer, and eat them one by one 🤣

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣ ▽ ￣0) /

They no longer offer 31%OFF on the 31st  but I still love to go there on the 31st ... It has become a habit (* ´-`) [※Note: In Japan, “Baskin Robbins” is called “31″]

In the past when I went there on the 31st, I really bought 10 cups of Chocolate Chips flavour, put hem in the freezer and ate one every day 🤣🤣 I love it  too much *laughs*

By the way, the other day I posted some pictures of Sakura on Instagram, today I will post some more shots of Sakura from another place ♪ The day after it was announced that they were in full bloom, I went to SHARE GREEN MINAMI AOYAMA’s "SOLSO PARK" which I had visited visited before when I shot my BS Fuji's program 😉 I had some tea, doted on plants and went to the nearby park! Once there, a big and splendid cherry tree welcomed me 🌸 I also made a video (* ^^ *) It was a very lovely day with a warm and gentle breeze.

On a side note, when I was relaxing on the terrace and sipping on my tea, I suddenly noticed a couple close by and was absolutely smitten by how beautiful both of them looked. Nowadays, everyone usually wears a mask so I can't really see anything but inside the cafe I was able to see everyone’s face. Really, it was an ideal couple, such a handsome man and such a beautiful woman, they looked like they were literally right out of a shojo manga! Their were super fashionable and had the perfect heights to complement each other ... They were so amazing that I really couldn’t help staring at them🤣🤣 Somehow they made me happy~ 🥰

Until next time~ ☆ (*'▽' *) /

*** Wakana ***  (Source)

2022/04/02 Blog post by Wakana Tシャツデザイン大公開！！〜お待たせしております…〜

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Reveal of my T-Shirt Design！！〜Thank you for being patient with me…〜

Everyone~! ️ \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و //// Today I have some great news for you! I finally got a finished sample of the t-shirt that we all designed together during the Shark Festival Special ~! ️ ((o (^ ∇ ^) o))

Without further ado, let me show you the whole thing! ️Tadaaaa!! !! !! !! In these photos I am holding the L sized version! A drawing of Rap-chan's is on the front and on the back we have the score for our "Shark Song".

And here are my drafts, a couple of things are different from my design, please let me elaborate 😳😳💦 First of all, I am not happy with the colour of Rap-chan's back, it should be a lighter green.

As for the design itself, I screwed up a little when trying to communicate my wishes （ ;  ; ） I tried several patterns for the tail length on smaller sheets of paper and finally decided on the length you see pasted to the left black white drawing. Unfortunately, with the paper stuck on the drawing, our manufacturer didn’t see the full line of Rap-chan’s coloured back part so the line ended up looking completely different 😂😂 Major Fail🥺

Of course there were several opportunities to check the design before the sample was completely finished, but I was too caught up with the colour scheme to notice the wrong line on the back. It’s 100% my fault （ ;  ; ）（ ;  ; ） Shame on m!! I really need to do some serious soul-searching and repent for this mistake!

It's such a small thing but for the life of me, I couldn't live with that design so I was selfish and asked the responsible staff members to redo the design... ️ (Please forgive me, staff members!)

That's why it will take a little longer to deliver the t-shirts!! Everyone, I am really really sorry to keep you waiting! 😭 The autographed postcards with the T-shirt design have already been printed so you will receive this Rap-chan with the old design 🥺 Every time I compare the postcard and T-shirt, I will be reminded of my little mishap *laughs* I guess this way it will remain an unforgettable memory!!! 😭

So this was only the first public reveal of the design \ (^ o ^) / I will let you know when the finished t-shirts will be shipped out !! !! Please wait a little longer while dreaming of the day when the t-shirt that we designed together will finally arrive at your door step. I hope you will like it ... ☆

*** Wakana *** (Source)