#( that's real dedication right there )
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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This Twitter MLP human redesign drama is a mess, leave me the fuck out of it.
#saw people posting my designs to put down other artists' designs saying that i'm the “correct way” of doing things#don't do that#i don't give a SHIT if people are redesigning these HORSES to be fat or “”“ugly”“” people they're all valid#this whole thing is so dumb just say “i don't like the art style” and move on#“hey op i spent 4 hours of time and effort to redraw your shitty redesign and show you how it's really done” you're fucking weird#you know that right? dedicating that much time to cash in on a hate trend when you could be creating something unique and original with lov#your insistence that human redesigns need to be attractive and symmetrical and anything deviating that is woke psy-op brainwashing#is fucking weird. saw an entire tweet reposting my designs listing off how i “got it right.” bullet point: “looks like real people”#the black fat pinkie design with braces that went viral looks more like a real person than any of my designs you asshole#or maybe you spent too much time in high school bullying people who look like that to notice#personal#delete later#do not use my art to belittle artists who've done nothing wrong this legit made me really angry today
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goobly goob gooberton
#★ my art#art#dandys world#dandy’s world#dandys world goob#dandys world oc#dandys world scraps#dandys world toodles#(sort of)#★ arin rambles#last night i got a goob so dedicated to his job he wrangled up all the twisteds and kited them like his life depended on it ON ONE HEART.#THE ELEVATOR WAS RIGHT THERE. I SAW HIM PASS AWAY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.#every single person in that elevator mourned his death like we grew up with him.#i bet hes fluffy Idk what hes made of tho.What are you goobington!!!!??#i LOVE GOOB PLAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#hes like if that poppy playtime grabpack wished to be a real boy ..#i have so many drawings but i dont wanna post like 692993873 drawings and Spam so . i guess ill have to be patient ..#goob freckles#<- thats it thats the whole tag#goob freckles…..🫶🫶🫶
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i know plot convenience is a thing but i can’t stop thinking about the implications of jay finding bonzle in the fake monastery’s basement of all places. did he know it was there before he walked into the building? did his feet carry him there, subconsciously retracing old steps? did he wait there, knowing he was far from the fight, because his side of the fight wasn’t the one he truly believed in?
#i know jay didn’t particularly want to do any sort of work for the administration anyways (be that paperwork or capturing someone properly)#but i’m interested in how little he’s invested in the administration’s cause.#compared to the other agents who were hamming up the fight (which we all know jay to be more than happy to do)#he’s lacklustre. there’s no real force behind his threats.#despite the administration being all he’s known - he resists it. he hesitates on his orders.#because the part of him that dedicated his life to protecting people over and over again knows those orders aren’t right#life is more than sorting people like files and following orders from a shadow and wondering why lightning runs through his veins like bloo#okay i went a little off track there. anyways#grasping at straws even though there’s nothing to drink from#ninjago#jay walker#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#jay#jay ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago jay#key’s conversations#keyalysis#agent walker#the administration#text
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when people say tim drake has no personality like oh you dont even know about the unwavering faith in a flawed cause you were loyal to long before being a part of?? 🤨
#real talk i dont get it when people hold 'oh hes the normal one' against him. like is that not interesting to you#his whole deal is repeatedly forgoing a normal life due to his dedication to his sense of right. cmon#if you saw me post this twice no you didnt. was giving myself a headache trying to proofread the verb tenses. im very tired and its very hot#still not sure its completely grammatically correct x#.log
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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You know Bakugou has an entire collection of All Might figures, but imagine the first time as a Pro-Hero that he sees one of himself. Maybe it’s in an arcade or a shop window, and he just knows he has to have it.
So he ends up bringing it home and placing it beside his favourite hero on his All Might shelf, because it’s a sign he’s finally achieving his dreams.
#I’m sobbing#like maybe he does have other heroes figures too#but he’s got an ENTIRE shelf dedicated to all might#because that’s his real hero#and so when he sees a figure of himself it’s like he gets emotional???#and then he starts thinking about all the kids who will be looking up to HIM? and will be buying/winning his figured#and they might have a whole wall of Dynamight figures like he has for All Might#omg but he thinks you’re SUCH a dork when you come home with your own Dynamight figure all excited#like you don’t have the real fucking thing in front of you right now#maybe you’re a little tipsy and you saw it in an arcade machine and knew you had to win it#so you carry it proudly on the train home when you do😭😂
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So okay I know I was literally just whining about school a bunch but it is definitely awesome to get to see all my (and I do have some, believe it or not) friends again! The one I was worried about was actually super chill so I think it’s fine now lol. She does have beef with my other friends though and she does still hate the friend I maybe sorta have a tiny crush on.
(Okay so that friend that I might have a crush on held my hand today when we were walking to English class and I stg I was moments away from spontaneously combusting.)
(Ignore the messy drawing lol)
She’ll be yapping about something that annoyed her meanwhile I am no longer breathing and by some miracle she remains completely oblivious.
She keeps doing stuff like this and that’s why we had so many dating allegations last year lmfao
#Okay so she has told me to my face that her type is tall strong girls#And I mean.#I’m 6ft.#I lift.#Soooo….. I’m her type?????#She’s a dance major and last year she choreographed a dance (with a group of eight dancers) as a school project#But she dedicated it to me which like#Did make me cry bc it was a really beautiful dance and so sweet of her#She also made me these super super pretty bracelets#With mushrooms and Celtic knots and purple and green beads#Plus she keeps calling me pet names#And we have gone on dates but not real dates just as friends#I just feel like if she like liked me than she’d be more nervous right?#But she’s super confident and stuff#i don’t know#Someone help me#how do you know if a girl likes you or not#Oh and sometimes she’ll just show up to school with my fav flavour of energy drink for me#Like I don’t even have to ask she’s so nice#help me#Is she just a close friend who likes holding my hand and braiding my hair or are we dating I genuinely don’t know
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Joe reaches above his head, pushing onto his toes, to put a clean frying pan on the top shelf, pulling his t-shirt up with the motion. There’s a flash of the dimples near Joe’s spine, at the small of his back—an unnecessarily sexy part of him, in Patrick’s opinion—holding Patrick’s attention. Patrick feels pulled to him from across the kitchen, unconsciously, fingers curling over hip bones, thumbs holding the hem of Joe’s shirt out of the way to get an eye full. He stares with wide, yearning eyes... Or: Patrick catches a glimpse of Joe’s back dimples, and he has to act up about it. Naturally.
top patrick/bottom joe nation i wrote a little bit of married/domestic flavoured smut inspired by joe's back dimples, hope u enjoy <3
#i keep getting nervous and deleting im sorry i have the fic promotion habits of a scared chihuahua.#joetrick#my fic#ive been cooking up this one for a couple months and it was almost ready before the download fest fic but then richie made me Think Thought#and i got Sidetracked. BUT HERE IT IS ONE MONTH LATER!!!!#HOPEFULLY that anon that asked for toppy patrick joetrick fics so long ago sees this. DEDICATED TO U ANON!!!!!#i have a few other bottom joe/toppy patrick joetrick wips in the works we'll see if any of them make it out of the google docs lol#SUMMER OF RPF!!!!!!!!!!!#also it’s so funny how i am with seeing the guitar story in my notifs and then posting this#listen i love rpf im crazy for joe but i Also love joe’s actual real life relationship. we exist. bc im NORMAL (lh but)#also also a bit wordy of a quote for the description but. it felt right
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big red and little red (is there somebody who can love you?)
dioscuri (dante émile) // the moment of truth (cobra kai) // i'll give you the sun (jandy nelson) // the borders (sam fender) // הבל | hevel (nathaniel orion gk) // all in (cobra kai) // two birds (regina spektor) // little weirds (jenny slate) // all in (cobra kai) // cain (josé saramago) // all in (cobra kai) // the world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire (ritika jyala) // cobra kai creators on that major big red and little red reveal (kristen baldwin) // pulpo (cobra kai) // editor's pages: the long and short of it (richard siken) // the right path (cobra kai) // the borders (sam fender) // let's begin (cobra kai) // cobra kai season 4 deleted scenes // after abel (dante émile) // the secret of siblings (erica e goode) // head of the snake (cobra kai) // the world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire (ritika jyala) // head of the snake (cobra kai) // is there somebody who can watch you (the 1975) // the monster you created (arcane) // head of the snake (cobra kai) // is there somebody who can watch you (the 1975)
#web weaving#cobra kai#big red#little red#i dont know man idont know i blacked out and this happened#i cannot explain this to you i can only offer it with open hands#this is dedicated to jon hurwitz hayden schlossberg and josh heald for their favorite ocs#miguel and robby this sam and anthony that NO the real sibling relationship of the karate kid universe#these two unnamed background characters#although according to the right path i think their last name is caldwell
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rehyperfixating on a children’s game that came out in 2015, is one of the least popular entries in its series, and has minimal content, the vast majority of which i’ve seen before. the series has been dead for nearly 10 years, nothing has happened recently that would warrant anyone’s returning interest in it, very few of my friends give a shit about this specific game, and those few who played and liked it in the past have no reason to give a shit about it at all right now. i have been coasting through on a playthrough i’ve been doing with a friend who’d never seen the game before and who was kind enough to let me show it to them, but we just beat the game, and after we play the epilogue we will have nothing left to do, and on top of that they really have just been humoring me as they have their own very strong current hyperfixation they would much rather be thinking about. also i am depressed enough right now that literally nothing else except for waiting to play this game with them and playing this game with them and watching them enjoy it at least a little has been able to briefly quiet the constant cacophony in my head screaming how much of a worthless, lazy, constantly-failing miserable excuse for a living person i am and how much better everything would be, especially for myself, if i stopped existing lately. would anyone like to volunteer to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ because i would really like for someone to 🔨💥⚒️Kill Me With Hammers🔨💥⚒️ right now
#me.txt#delete ltr#and i like hearing my friends talk about and show me their interests but it isnt enoughhhh its not enough right now to make my head SHUT UP#right now the only thing that can give me energy is a hyperfixation like this#but with enough content and engagement from others to keep subsisting me without hitting a wall#SOMETHING THAT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO DO WHEN YOU CANNOT DRAW OR WRITE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#BECAUSE WHEN NOBODY IS MAKING ANYTHING!!!!! AND YOU CANT MAKE ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!!! ALL YOU CAN DO IS CURL UP AND STARVE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼#immmm so sick of the only thing that makes being alive feel worth it being hyperfixations theres nothing REAL tying me down i cant stand it#because i am!! too broken!!!! to ever achieve any of the things that WOULD give me a real solid tangible reason to keep living!!!!!!#like a stable job!!!! a place of my own!!! a partner whos dedicated to me above everyone else and me to them in return!!!!!!!#a LIFE that isnt just constantly failing over and over and waiting for the shoe to drop and to lose everything all over again!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont have that!!! and i cant have that!!!!! because im too broken to be able to cultivate and maintain it!!!!!#and the only way. to fix myself enough to be able to do so.#would be to HAVE ENOUGH STABILITY THAT ID HAVE THE TIME AND ENERGY TO PUT INTO FIXING MYSELF AND HEALING#i cant fix myself without stability and freedom. and i cant get stability and freedom unless i’m fixed#so it is. literally impossible!!!!!!!#impossible to create my own concrete solid reason to be here.#impossible for me to even create anything to feed the fixations that are my backup reasons.#theres nothing!! nothing!!! i have nothing new to leap to and ive been dwindling for too long and i think i am about to drown#im just waiting for time to tick out. for me to fuck up too badly to come back from one last time and get found out and punished.#and then? theres nothing left. theres literally nothing else left for me
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The angel on my shoulder: Shipping real people is bad. They could find it and become very uncomfortable. It it highly disrespectful to them and their significant others.
The devil on my shoulder: John Lennon coming back from the dead to fuck Paul McCartney in the ass is the greatest contribution to humanity ever known
#i wish i could find this fic again#only read the summary and i cried laughing#it was on a forum *dedicated* to mclennon rpf so you know that shit’s gone#2012 was a different time#mclennon#rpf#real person fic#ao3#larry#<- tagging b/c that was the wildest time on here omg the conspiracies#i love that they were probably right lol#the unbridled passion#phan#the milk fic#<- did they even have a ship name?#ferard#bilo and biggles#<- does it count if they ship themselves?#i guess same goes for david tennant and michael sheen#kpop stans have to be rapid and ship members right? i know nothing about kpop#milex#<- teeny tiny fandom miss u tlsp *mwah*#i read a fic about simon and garfunkel fucking once and it was hysterical#didn’t people stalk the finn/poe actors irl too? yeesh#bandfic#fanfiction#i don’t think i know any others sorry go forth and tag yr weird irl ships it’s funny 2 me#oh didn’t people ship damon albarn and graham coxon too??#they admitted kissing once but graham said it was like kissing a washing machine which is still the funniest thing i’ve ever heard#blur
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Uniform redesign i was bored after losing motivation on the last drawing.
Also some other hc like the robes are made out of rayon or smth lightweight n cheap idk
#my art#harry potter#art#ARCHIVISTTest… Test… Test… 1#1... 2... 3... Right#My name is Jonathan Sims. I work for the Magnus Institute#London#an organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the#paranormal. The head of the Institute#Mr. Elias Bouchard#has employed me to replace the previous Head Archivist#one Gertrude Robinson#who has recently passed away.#I have been working as a researcher at the Institute for four years now and am familiar with most of our more significant contracts and#projects. Most reach dead ends#predictably enough#as incidents of the supernatural#such as they are – and I always emphasise there are#very few genuine cases – tend to resist easy conclusions. When an investigation has gone as far as it can#it is transferred to the Archives#Now#the Institute was founded in 1818#which means that the Archive contains almost 200 years of case files at this point.#Combine that with the fact that most of the Institute prefers the ivory tower of pure academia to the complicated work of dealing with#statements or recent experiences and you have the recipe for an impeccably organised library and an absolute mess of an archive. This isn’t#necessarily a problem – modern filing and indexing systems are a real wonder#and all it#would need is a half-decent archivist to keep it in order. Gertrude Robinson was apparently not that archivist.#From where I am sitting#I can see thousands of files. Many spread loosely around the place
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my most toxic dream is to be one of those artists whose take on a specific piece of media gets so popular that a notable subset of the fanbase just frothing-at-the-mouth hates me for no reason. i’m talking there’ll be viral textposts like ‘[trend i started/popularized] is RUINING this fandom’ and all the replies are ‘sksksj you can just say t*psy’ that’s when i’ll know i’ve made it
#mumbling#you know when you’re popular enough that the really dedicated haters just Have to say something but can’t get anything specific to stick#so like people who have only heard of you in passing have heard neutral to positive things#and your biggest real sin is your monopoly in the fandom marketplace of ideas#that’s the dream right there#it’s a bit of a fine line to walk bc you only want to piss off the type of haters who don’t know how to do anything else#you want anyone with an inquisitive mind and a creative spirit to be able to look into any issues and realize you’re actually just chill
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You may say to yourself things such as "wow, mantis god, you seem really behind for bugtober this year", and you would be right, but what you can't see behind the scenes is that we are actually being surprisingly productive in the hours of the day that are not dedicated to school, it's just that some months ago we happen to have thought to ourself "well, we enjoy learning things, so maybe we should take a hack at school since the grant is decent, get some actual certification on our resume so we can get a real job" and then forgot that the reason we don't already have official certification is because formal schooling historically has had worse effects on our overall mental health than almost literally anything else in our life, and now that's eating 4-6 hours of our life per day with an extra few hours of recovery after which makes it unfortunately difficult to work on art.
#we speak#negative chatter#we are saying “almost literally” because of common or garden memory loss btw. it is possible something was worse#but if so it no longer exists in our memory and that actively gets worse under stress so it'll be a few months before we can remember#the stuff leading up to it this time definitely didn't help but god nothing to get us Getting Worse like formal schooling#our whumptober pre-writing and planning weighs in at more than 45k words right now#and we are unfortunately aware that the reason we are struggling to finish in a timely manner#is because something like sixty percent of our mental real estate has been forcibly dedicated to keeping us alive#which as we're sure you can understand is unfortunately not very efficient for artistic endeavors#anyways something something long road of reminders of why we have been Unemployed for so long
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Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??
But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!
But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?
#stoned ramblings#life of faye#i swear I'm not as sad right now as this makes me sound just kinda lonely is all#work bonus#boss also said that if i wanted to take on more responsibility we could talk raises as well#and like most days I'm done by like 1 so it's not like I'm wildly overworked as it is#I'm going to set some aside for fun stuff and the rest is going in my savings#i am finally FINALLY trying to build up a savings again#it's probably a silly dream but I still want to save up for a house#so what else can i do but try and save?#rent's gone up so damned much everywhere that for somewhere halfway decent it costs about as a mortgage to rent anyway#the only reason my rent is semi-managable is because I've been here for 8 damn years so they haven't been able to drive it up as much#other apartments here start at hundreds more per month for new tenants#so i feel like I'm stuck here until i can afford a place#my one real hope is that I inherit enough from my midwest grandma when she passes to make a good down payment somewhere#sometimes to torture myself I like to go look at houses that I think are in my approximate realistic price range if i could cover the down#i want a yard for velma#i want to be able to open my blinds and/or windows and not feel like a whole apartment complex's worth of people can see me#i want a kitchen where all the burners work and I have enough counter space to work#i want a dryer system where my apartment doesn't get filled with warm wet air when the neighbors are doing their laundry#i want to do nude gardening#and have backyard bbqs with friends#i want enough dedicated space to do art that i don't constantly have to shuttle the easel around the living room and up and down the stairs#all pipe dreams i know#but hey the grandma did say that i was one of her three main inheritors in the will#so we'll see#just to be clear she has not passed but she's nearing 90 and keeps talking about it so it's hard not to think about you know?#anyway these are the sorts of things that i would talk about if I had someone to cuddle on the couch and talk to about my day#texts to nobody
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