#( and he's the most reasonable of em all i think )
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"Him? Oh, you know, he's kind of a loser." - probably everyone except for his younger brother.
Germaine is based on the layer of hell (Dante's Inferno) for material wealth before self, others, and god. So basically very materialistic and possessive of his belongings. Unfortunately, his younger brother qualifies as a belonging in his mind. So he does his absolute best to keep his brother safe and sound and scratch free - which is a bit tough in a post apocalyptic setting but he mostly manages.
Also a fact I just like to mention: he is incapable of lying.
#my characters#germaine wellington#welp guess who watched an anime recently (its not complete) and the dad of the mc made em think of a loserman big brother oc#its me! correct! the dad just reminded me a bit of germaine and i blame appearances mostly but also the dad was kind of a loser (i love him#and germaine does practically raise tremaine which further messes up their absolutely awful codependency#like yeah both brothers would kill for many reasons (survival and resources mainly) but !#if tremaine lost germaine hed probably cry and become incapable of moving on and eventually just dying w no reason to live#but if germaine lost tremaine hed go insane cause no no no thats HIS brother and hed start blaming everyone#and lose all rationale and logic while hes actually one of the most logic based in the group#hes a loser but dont let him lose things or he loses it more#but when hes really mad at tremaine for whatever reason his best friend is like uh huh what are you gonna do about it#and germaine is like........... we both know i will sigh and accept it and probably pat him on the head next i see him#which is incredibly honest and exactly what he does because yeah hes mad but even mad he cannot say#im gonna slap some sense into him because thats a lie he wouldn't hurt his brother#everyone in their group knows he cant lie so when he gets hesitant after being asked something they just know#hes trying to plot the best way to skirt the answer bc its apparently Not Good#he looks angry and annoyed often but its just resting bitch face#he lights up when he sees tremaine and he lightens up a little with his best friend#like lil smiles for his bestie and brother but when talking ABOUT his brother? he lights up and beams because hes so proud#of the coolest and smartest thing in his life (his brother)
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Sam: "Look at me. Hey- look at me a second. I know. I know you're tough. I know how strong you are. You have every right to be proud of that. But being able to handle somethin' doesn't mean you should have to. Least of all when I'm right here trying to help. Please let me help. If not for you then for me, because I don't like knowin' you're hurtin', especially when there's somethin' I can do about it."
Me, shaking my head, fighting back literal tears: "B-but it's gonna give you another headache!"
#redacted sam#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fandom#[Sam's name doubles as a link to the specific lines i quoted btw. just for full credit/transparency & for anyone who wants to (re)listen]#Sam's deep-seated need to heal vs my inability to accept help would be a battle for the ages. unstoppable force vs immovable object#wait Sam already mentioned the force vs object thing to David during the inversion didn't he lmao 'they call /me/ Immovable Object'#he does suit Immovable a little more than Unstoppable i guess. i mean he can def be both imo but ykwim. anyways i digress#listen. i'm not a Marriage kinda guy. but good god the way some of Sam's lines make me wanna take a fucking knee and propose#i'm love him ur honor. he is comfort incarnate#can't believe i waited so long to listen to the Valentines Vampire Attack audio. it's got so much of that sweet sweet hurt/comfort#very reminiscent of their 2nd audio given all the healing he does for them & the consent checks before moving clothing and whatnot#which makes it a top favorite for me bc that's probably my most replayed Sam audio. and the one that initially hooked me#i didn't put off listening to it bc i thought i Wouldn't like it btw i just procrastinate everything for no real reason#listening to it now tho actually worked out well bc i could uh. definitely use it. so maybe i was subconsciously saving it for hard times#this post isn't a joke btw it really does hurt to hear him put himself in pain for the sake of healing Darlin' :(((#anD PAINKILLERS DON'T EVEN WORK ON HIM!!! ough man i would struggle so hard to accept his healing if i were in Darlin's shoes#like yeah there's other reasons i'd struggle to accept it too but him being in pain as a result would be one of 'em. the Guilt bro i can't#rp audio stuff#Seven.txt#(Seven blorbo-posting at 2am when they should either be doing something productive or sleeping?? more likely than you might think)
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some postgame doodles for pride month
#martzipan#komahina#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#domestic kmhn likers pspspsps cmere#i never draw just fluff/domestic things bc i get too in my feelings lmao. this one was no exception#i had to take a break midway through bc i got sappy. IT'S OK THO we got it done :3#neways these tie into some headcanons of mine so i'm gonna share 'em here#mainly i hc them having little ways where they just look out for each other#komaeda is usually the only one who can convince hinata to take a goddamn break without having to forcefully drag him away from his work#bc hinata does NOT take enough breaks. and he does not listen to reason#until there is a komaeda who is tired and can't go to sleep without his human teddy bear :((( can't let him go to bed aloneeee#n i think hinata just. casually feeds komaeda ALL the time#bc he won't eat enough on his own. and if you offer him food he'll be inclined to see it as a nicety and try to reject it#but if you just. Put Food In Front Of His Mouth. he'll eat it#it's kind of a reflex like komaeda doesn't realize he's being fed most of the time#they take care of each other bc they won't take care of themselves otherwise lmao. it's a little dysfunctional but they're trying#i think once they've recovered enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company they get REALLY really giggly#they have a lot of teenage/young adult love stuff to catch up on and since they didn't really have a puppy love phase. they laugh a lot#they'll try to do something tender or sweet but then one of them will start to laugh. and then it's not long before the other breaks#komaeda usually breaks first. bc he's always in awe of just how happy he is. bc he never thought he COULD be this happy#not without hell looming just over the horizon anyways#when hinata breaks first it's bc he's thinking of how much they've both been through and put each other through#and he's just sort of like 'how the fuck did we end up here'#(btw komaeda snorts when he's trying not to laugh. this is just fact trust me)#OH AND I HAVE MANY HEADCANONS ABT THEIR SLEEP STUFFS#as stated hinata runs hot and komaeda runs cold. but ALSO#hinata's a sprawler. komaeda gets Clingy. it works out for them tho#if komaeda doesn't have hinata to hold like a body pillow he'll curl into the tightest little ball. it gives him back pain lmao#oh and yes. they absolutely wake up with their legs incredibly tangled together
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Gotta say your au mixed with the art style and such and amazing work in what we seen so far with the horror and some laughs it's just become a treat every time I saw new details (whenever you supplies them up, thanks for that)
I know you already disclosure that it's gonna be bad BAD TIMES for the puppets gang but does it have it's soft ad fluff times??
The shot were Frank ask Wally if they're dying will looking up for the ceiling hasn't leave my brain, such a raw emotional clear on them, I wonder when they were just the two of them for a while they cuddle or hold hands for comfort??
I just.i just want them to have small victories of comfort
of course it has fluff and comfort! a lot of it! having a nice blend of both makes the fluff feel sweeter & the hurt hit all the harder <3 i will now supply some (written (for now)) examples and tidbits. putting it under the cut cause it got kinda Long
Frank & Wally do become very affectionate with each other! ofc as soon as Frank woke Wally was like "ok im holding your hand everywhere we go, this is Non Negotiable". because its dark! he doesn't want Frank to stray too far or get lost! and it's easier to yank Frank outta harm's way if they're already holding hands. comfort factors into it later, when Frank starts initiating & Wally does it purely to make sure Frank is still there. but yeah they get Very comfortable with each other, to the point where when Eddie wakes up he asks Frank - misinterpreting the situation entirely - "if you'd rather have Wally than me, i understand." ofc Frank laughs his ass off bc uhhh no that is Not what their relationship is, Ed
~ similarly, (almost) everyone acclimates to Wally's need to be as close as possible at all feasible times. he's Very physically affectionate and has little to no regard for personal space or boundaries anymore. like, he'll listen when someone asks him to back off or somethn, but until then he does not give a fuck. and this rubs off on the others as they get used to it
and then there's OH WAIT IDK IF I'VE MENTIONED THIS YET but! Wally - during his main exploration phase - found the Welcome Home episode recordings! and he eventually figured out how to work a tv he found, so he added "watch an episode of me and my friends" into his Routine. when the others wake up, he includes them in this. is it horrifying for them at first? yeah. but they get used to it and find similar if not the same comfort and enjoyment in it that Wally does. like in This Scribble, Frank & Wally & Poppy & Howdy are all watching an episode, and are quoting the lines they've memorized. they all cuddle up on a couch together and watch their favorite show <3
& Wally also teaches them (as they wake up) how to repair and care for themselves / each other, sleeping or otherwise. picture a little sewing circle of Frank, Wally, and Poppy, with Poppy giving tips and guidance on how to improve. these sessions provide them with genuine smiles and sometimes even some laughs.
before Wally & Home's divorce, they'd pass much of the time with games! go-fish, charades, i spy, etc. one of their favorites was when Wally would toss a ball at Home's door, and Home would hit it back. additionally, whenever Wally discovered something new, he'd rush back to Home with it - either the information or the actual thing, if he could carry it. ex: when he'd find books or files, he'd bring them to Home and (quietly) read them aloud while resting against them
and just in general know that the Post Office is a place of safety. Wally has made sure it's secure. i like to imagine like... little craft sessions and impromptu dancing lessons and story sharing going on in there among the awake neighbors. they try to have fun despite it all
that's all i can recall for Act One's fluff tidbits rn, but trust me there is More. and also abundant angsty comfort. the downright painful stuff has to earn its existence yk yk this au is Not grimdark
#oh there's also a really specific scene in my mind of like.#poppy taking notice that wally has developed a disregard for his appearance & that he doesn't seem to think he's attractive anymore#and recruits frank & howdy to give him like... a lil spa day as best they can#they tie (most of) his hair up in a ponytail and scrub some of the dirt out & they make a little patchwork sweater for him#and poppy tells him he looks very pretty#and wally has a moment of '...? im pretty? im still...? oh...!'#they notice him putting a teensy bit of attention towards his appearance going forward from this#oh also he makes sure they All get a little 'spa day'#good feelings all around....#rambles from the bog#wh lights out au#they all pick up little Habits towards each other#like wally will hold others' hands and just fiddle with em w/o a real point or goal#frank will adjust his friends' clothes hair if it's a lil Too out of place#poppy will hold her wings around/behind others w/o really realizing it#howdy will pick up / carry the smaller neighbors for no particular reason#eddie tends to keep a hand on the nearest person#etc etc!#there was. Something Else i wanted to add. i don't remember what it was!#but yeah! there are good things. there are Always good things.
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i've been talking abt my voltron playlists and @iveofficiallygonemad asked to hear them and i want to share with anybody who wants!! i know they're not perfect, i'm working on them & trying to make them better. if you have any recommendations for any of them, let me know!! there's like A Lot and i want to give a lil explanation for most of them, so i'm putting them under the cut ^-^
SO first i have my favorite one <3 it's just. all of them. it's the whole team. it's a mess and it's a bunch of different genres because it's them fighting over the aux cord on a road trip. it's them trying to make each other laugh or annoy each other or play something catchy enough it will infect everyone in the vicinity with brain worms.
Hunk: i'm pretty happy with my Hunk playlist! chill vibes. he strikes me as the kind of guy who listens to calm music to try to find his own calm, and that's what i got here :)
Pidge: this is messier and less cohesive than my usual playlist because frankly i think pidge would have a shit taste in music. all over the board. this is a mix of meme songs and 8-bit covers and vocaloid and stuff that i think pidge would genuinely connect with, and i think pidge listens to all their music on shuffle without any regards for genre or mood because they're a gremlin. nobody gives pidge sole control of the aux.
Coran hears 80's music for the first time and loses his mind. He thinks ABBA is humanity's single greatest achievement.
Lance: i have ideas about where I'm going with this but haven't really settled yet. Lance seems like the kind of boy that loves to dance (is that canon? i forgot) so most of these are Bops That Make You Move in some way or another. he likes to present an upbeat face to the world, so there's no angsting in this playlist! we are clinging to the things that make us happy with both hands until our knuckles turn white!
Keith: i'm gonna be honest. i made him a playlist but i honestly don't think he cares about music very much. it's very important to some people! he's just not one of them! i haven't cracked this playlist open in a while but i'm pretty sure it's full of songs that i think he would conceivably train/work out to.
Shiro: this playlist involves the dumbest headcanon i have for shiro that has just not left me alone since i first thought of it. most of the playlist reflects the fact that he had an emo phase in middle school (that one isn't a headcanon, you just have to look at him to know) but BUT there are a few songs on here that are on here because. little known fact. he also went through a Twilight phase that he told nobody about. (keith knows. keith was there.) he has the entire twilight soundtrack memorized. he moved past the story but the music stays forever. he used to daydream about slow dancing to Flightless Bird, American Mouth. the first time Coran mentions that they have to avoid a place because there's a supermassive black hole there, he has to bite his tongue in order to keep a straight face. do NOT ask me why i believe this so wholeheartedly.
Allura's playlist sucks right now. I think it's because in my heart of hearts i know that, were she on earth today, she would go fucking nuts for taylor swift. i have ambivalent feelings for taylor swift. i cannot do allura justice like this. if you see my vision and have recs as to what might actually fit her, PLEASE.
Klance: i haven't done it yet but i'm gonna go through this and sort it to be a sort of progression of their relationship, starting with the more combative Rivalry songs, then slipping into "oh shit oh shit" songs, then maybe ending on the more lighthearted purely romantic songs <3
(i have two songs in a shallura playlist which does not at all encapsulate how much i'm obsessed with them. the tiny cop inside my head is just constantly screaming at me that i'm going to get yelled at for liking shallura. i am going to kill the cop inside my head.)
#mj talks#oooooh i don't know if i actually want to put this in the show tag. that's a lot of people. that's a lot of people that might see this.#fuck it we ball#voltron#anyway. as i said if you like music and you have songs that you think fit please send em over#also who wants to talk about shallura? i want to talk about shallura.#i rewatched the first ~3 seasons (the best part of the show and some of season 3) with my roommate a while back and.#ngl if we're strictly talking about the show itself and not fanworks. i care about shallura SO much more than i care about klance.#oh i should probably tag#klance#in case anyone has that blacklisted and just doesn't wanna see it#BACK TO MY POINT.#rewatch seasons 1 and 2 and you will see there was a REASON everyone included shallura in the background of their fics#and it wasn't just shoving 'space mom' and 'space dad' together#there is a very real and very compelling dynamic there. the mutual respect. the connection that comes with taking responsibility.#watch shiro's whole deal after allura gets herself captured so that he can go free and try telling me it's all in my head. just TRY.#anyway i have a lot of complicated thoughts about shiro's sexuality and most of them boil down to I Don't Think It Was Planned#i think they shoved it in last minute because somebody higher up#(not the writers i don't blame u writers i know that you have people breathing down your necks telling you what you can and can't do)#some higherup didn't like any queer storylines that might have been in the works and pulled them from the show#but then there was fan backlash because... gay people are loud now? people wanted A Queer In Space? wild thought#so they had to save their ass and actually deliver on what they had promised in interviews/on the internet/idk i didn't keep up too much#because it was so clumsily revealed! there was no buildup!#it felt very shoehorned to me unfortunately. when a) they had already built a solid and compelling potential relationship for shiro#(see above)#and b) klance was? right there? like. dude. you /had/ to have seen that. or at least some of it????#backstory dead fiance was not the best move vis a vis queer representation and i reject him#if you want me to care about a relationship try going back to storytelling basics and Show Don't Tell :)#not giving you brownie points for that 'queer representation' :)#anyway. that's my shallura manifesto in the notes.
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which one is it then
#i can't sleep at night because of this#both the japanese and english dialog contradict with the info found in the book#(initially i planned to include only the eng version but i wanted to squash any hopes that a mistranslation was involved.#there isn't one. if anything in JP shionne hammers over the fact that alphen cant feel the cold even more lmao)#i mean i guess it could be worse. the game could contradict itself but it actually remains pretty consistent on that matter#which i hate. i think it's dumb i think it makes no sense bleehhh#let masked alphen be able to tell warm from cold. he can taste just fine. he can feel textures and how comfy something is#(theres a camp mini overworld dialog about this)#he craves spicy food Because of the sensation they give him. a sensation of..... intense heat perhaps???? hello#anyway. not the first time i've been in disagreement with the game's canon. this is the life i've chosen#arise curse#oh there is actually one inconsistency in the english version. shionne says they crossed “over” the mountain. but they didnt#they went through. or under. through that grotto. the notion of “over” was added by the translator bc it's what made the most sense to 'em#and i guess they didnt have the information that this specific mountain was not climbed by the party but walked through via a tunnel#(yeah it doesnt really. matter all that much)#oh also idk why they all insist that sneeze = it's cold or you've caught a cold#when sneezes can be caused by a number of things including dust; mold; allergies; anything that irritates the nasal cavity;#and the number one anime reason for sneezes which is someone talking about you while you're out of earshot
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i need to draw o/ff characters again and post hcs abt them to my blog. oogoog
#i dont particularly like the popular hc that en/och eats his els/en. it feels weird to me for multiple reasons#KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL PERSONAL THINKINGS OK ok here i go#ik i said id post em on the blog but im abt to go to sleep so imma say it here#but like. mahybe im just crazy or looking too deep into things. but i dont see any reason for en/och = eats his els/en besides the fact#that hes fat. and like thats it from what i can rememebr.#like id ont. remember him saying any dialogue that would insinuate it??#OK hold on clarifying = eats them alive/eats their bodies and NOT just eating burnt ashes/sugar#OR it could also be something that like was thought of bc of the horror element of the game +#the zone is a zone that is like Heeyyyy everyone eats everyone here :) so obvs it could just be like a horror hc to go with the theme#or environment of the zone#so like obvs im not gonna like. be upset over ppl liking the hc like to most people it seems just canon to them#but i do not like it....not one bit. he WOULD gaslight and manipulate his workers. absoltuely. but he would NOT eat them alive.#i feel like en/och is too much of like...he has high standards for his foods (chef it up. he can make the fanciest of meals and the nicest#of cakes). so i feel like he'd be like. insulted like ummmmmm no lol that is NOT very presentable. and gross. put their ashes in it and#dress it up and maybe ill eats it then :] yk????#IDK. maybe im just thinking waayyyy too much into this. but i kinda dont care i love this game and i love en/och.#i dont need to fix him hes perfect as he is (manipulative and a cannibal but not like that way. ok?)#cant you let her win for once ?????#ok ok im done for now but for this game? my dear friends. i am ALWAYS open to talking about my thoughts#ow.file
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i know i vouched for this but oh my god please let journeys be ending
#ik ash is still going apparently but if this format goes on to paldea and a ton of good paldea mons get shafted#and they give the way home some random half hour special with no build up then im gonna be SO disappointed#everett said this also but yeah it seems like theyve just given up on goh catching em all so like thats kinda whatever#also i do not need them to make ANOTHER cover of 1 2 3 like its a good song but i am so sick of it#also if we are getting a new series can we make the endings actually good again#idk i like goh as a character but its clear that they dont really know what to do with him right now#like project mew just... got him to meet mew again which was cool yes. but hes literally implied to be quitting after one mission#so like what was the point#idk. jn is in shambles rn. while i think i like it more than others in the community#yeah i would be disappointed if it went on to paldea at this point. keep goh if u want bc i like him#but like im sick of it and unlike swsh paldea is crammed with potential and existing story thatd work so good in anime form#watch the professors not exist and for sprigatito to not have a main role until episode60 where it proceeds to do nothing#watch team star get ignored outside of one episode where they dont actually have much to do#all the while we are showing so many ''omg so beautiful landscaping shots of the same 6 kanto pokemon''#echoed voice#i may not have liked galar all that much but yeah it got treated like shit by the anime#which is kinda wild bc leon was so hyped up but it was literally only him and the wild areas that got shown off#most other locations like ballonlea were restricted to the stadiums and not explored or just looked like dogshit for some reason#if u look up several galar pokemon on bulbapedia then youll see that many pokemon either havent shown up at all#or have some low res background shot on there bc its the only time they ever showed up#like man. paldea doesnt deserve that at all. just give it its own anime im begging you
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i think ppl were hoping me becoming poor would make me as bitter as they are but... nah
#i move about the world different sorry#i have my reasons to be upset but i dont let it consume me and become my personality#going to therapy ever since i was like 12 has done wonders for me#you hafta realize that- i could- if i discarded all my values and desire for wellbeing- probably get whatever money from my dad.#my conservative dad who wants me to not be myself and would probably try to black mail me about it like he did when i was a kid#you dont understand how much i have to hate someone. to not be around someone. to PREFER to be poor than interact with them.#im by no means comfortable. sometimes i have periods of comfort other times i have no money and barely anything to eat.#id rather starve than go back to that abuse. you might feel different but thats bc like i said i move about the world different.#you dont know what that abuse was like. after experiencing it you might choose the same.#and no i personally dont consider that me 'having options'. i really dont see sacrificing myself and living as a shell of my former self#as an option personally. its either die by starving or die by sacrificing myself and quite frankly atp im choosing the former.#ive already tried the latter and hated every second of it every time#the only bitterness i have about being poor rn is at yall who wanted me to become poor. so no. it didnt work out in your favor.#not sure why you thought it would. i hate yall.#dont get me wrong- i hate the rich too for this- but ig i dont see them as subhuman or whatever since i lived like that#the uberwealthy though? yeah idk. still dont like the nazi rhetoric of calling them subhuman but i dont have any real#sympathy for them. most of my sympathy for rich ppl anyways is when they're kids and how that fucks em up but if they become#corrupt selfish adults i dont have sympathy for them atp.#and to be clear- im not saying the benefits of having money somehow hurts them- there are negatives to it though if your parents#suck and think buying you things = love. and make you dependent on your parents bc you've had everything taken care of for#you your whole life so you have no real life skills so you cant as easily leave. which is worse if your parent is abusive.#also dealing with other rich kids? sucks! depends but it almost always feels like a dick measuring contest.#being isolated your whole life + not knowing how to take care of yourself- the number 1 thing animals teach their children first +#not having any genuine friends + not receiving genuine love? kinda turns ppl into super villains ngl#if i didnt have dogs who taught me a lot of shit id probably be a super villain too ok lmao
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I love snake handling, as a religious practice.
Because while they can point at some Bible verses to justify it (a couple gospels use "snakes can't hurt you" as a metaphor for strength of belief, and they took it very litteraly) it's basically a modern invention. Like, the American Christian practice of snake handling is barely over a hundred years old! That's very young for a Christian practice.
It's younger than Mormons and Christian Scientist, and it's mostly limited to my area: the Appalachians.
It's basically just a regular Pentecostal service (which often involves laying of hands for healing, and my favorite Christian tradition, glossolalia!) except they add The Snake.
Like, you're at church, and there's the pews, and people are going up and Feeling The Spirit, and some of them are Picking Up The Snake.
That's alright, it's a harmless snake, right?
NOPE! They use venomous snakes. Usually American ones (your rattlesnakes and copperheads) but sometimes they import cobras and the like.
The venomous nature is the point. They believe that if they're blessed by God, they'll be able to handle the dangerous snakes without being hurt.
And given that this is a relatively rarely practiced thing, and it's connected to faith healing, you might think it's just a con. There's some traveling "holy man" with a well-trained snake that he can "miraculously" handle without being attacked, right?
Oh god no. It's a bunch of different guys and they get bitten all the time. Wikipedia has a list of 15 of 'em who died because of it, and that's just the "notable" ones.
People are allowed to just come up and touch the venomous snake! No training or safety equipment needed, just Jesus. Reportedly people who get bitten are not considered to be lacking in faith, just "it was their time to go". Like, they don't even call the hospital about anti-venom. You just die.
(Did I mention sometimes they drink poison too? Mainly strychnine, possibly because it's survivable in small doses. Same reason: their faith will protect them)
Anyway I really do love it. It's such an unusual thing to jam into Christianity, that I can't help but be mesmerized by it.
But it makes up the majority of 20th and 21st century American deaths from snakes. Most people avoid snakes so even the most deadly venomous snakes in America usually only ever kill by surprise, like someone reaches into a gopher hole and gets bit, or they accidentally bother one trying to piss in a bush. And even then, we've got anti-venoms! Lots of people bitten make it to the hospital and get treated.
So naturally the main group that ends up dying from snakes is the ones who are constantly handling deadly snakes and then refuse medical care.
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
youtube
It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of man who:
In your shared home, always sits with his legs spread. Manspreading king. Adores it when you cross your arms and give him a disapproving look, saying there's no room for you. "Course there is, luv. Jus' sit between my thighs."
Refuses to let you do simple tasks around the house, like making tea, folding his underwear, or putting away the dishes. One might think it's a sweet, husbandly gesture - but he's just super picky. You made tea in the microwave once, and now you're banned from ever touching his tea stash. Likes his underwear folded in a specific way, and you don't understand the importance of it. He got tired of you stuffing his underwear in his drawer, so now he folds it himself. And the dishes? Couldn't stand how you put them away. "There's no rhyme or reason to 'em." "I didn't think there had to be, Si-" "Just gimme the damn bowl." Fewer chores? You aren't complaining.
Looks like he's always on edge - and he is, kinda. When he's out with you, he can't help but be alert and watchful, and extremely protective of you. You've tried to get him to loosen up - it's the supermarket, what could happen? - but have just come to accept it as his nature. Plus, you get that giddy feeling when you see other men look straight down at the floor, avoiding Simon's stare as the two of you pass.
Is the grumpiest, poutiest, and most indignant man ever when he gets sick. Doesn't want you doting on him in case you catch whatever he has. But, wait - where are you going? "Get your ass back in this bed - 'm cold." Grumbles like a child when you force him to let you get up to grab him soup, tea, or medicine. And no, he doesn't care how sick he is, he's not wearing that stupid, floppy ice pack hat.
Brings Johnny over unannounced, and you've grown used to it. The moment you hear that Scottish yapping out the front door as the key unlocks, you grab a third plate for dinner - he insists you don't need to feed him, but you always make extra for Simon's lunch the next day regardless, and the last time he'd said that, he ended up grabbing an extra fork and picking from Simon's plate. Which, of course, had Simon up at 1 am making instant ramen because he was still hungry, but didn't have the heart to ask you to make him a decent meal. So, yes, Johnny would be fed.
Loves spoiling you on your birthday. What is a man if not someone who spoils his partner rotten? Orders in food from your favorite bakery, sets all your presents neat and nice on the table (the excellent wrapping job done by yours truly, Gaz), flower petals sprinkled on the ground and the table top (also Gaz's idea), and a seat on his lap so for you while you open your presents. Loves watching your face light up, and each little "you remembered?!" fall from your lips as you open each gift. Scoffs and shifts in his seat. "I's not that much of a fuss, luv..." as you squeal excitedly, but you know he's biting back a proud smile. The blush, he can't even attempt to hide.
Is somehow a magnet for your young nephews. Every time he comes along to your sister's place, he's either making conversation with her husband in the living room, or he's interrogated and cornered by her two sons. And, lord help him, he doesn't understand it either. He'd always expected kids to look at him like a monster, but, especially with these two, that was never the case. They'd ask him for stories about "being in war" - half of the time, he'd make up some not-too-gory adventure, sparing them the details of real war. The rest of the time, he'd talk about "Soap, my mate who blows everything up." And they'd listen with wide eyes and jaws on the floor.
Has scared you unintentionally, more than too many times. He'd come home at three in the morning from a mission, and all he wanted was to quietly peel his dirty uniform off and slip into bed with you. His main intention was to avoid waking you up, because you'd force him to shower before joining you in bed - and he was too tired for that. However, you'd been rounding the corner, up for your 3 am glass of water - you screamed as you saw the hulking, dark figure by the front door, launching your phone at him. He'd caught it effortlessly and shoved it into his back pocket. "What've I told ya 'bout using the bat?" "I was just getting water!" "I coulda been anyone." "Well you're not." "Missed ya, luvie." "Missed you too- but you're grimy. Go take a-" "No." He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, ignoring your protests as he hauled you back to bed.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley headcanons#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley headcanons#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost headcanons#call of duty#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#cod x reader#cod#cod blurbs
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It never gets any fucking easier does it
#bitch bout to do smth very stupid here#i've kept my distance for what already feels like forever n i really thought by now i'd be. at least on the way to functioning on my own#i can ignore it when i'm doin ok but the pull never goes away it's always there#then i get low n i just. can't think of a reason to fight it anymore#i feel like i got sold just another lie. that if i just stay strong n don't go back then i'll start learning how to live w/o him but#did anyone actually tell me that? did i just lie to myself? he makes me feel awful most of the time but if i feel awful anyway then why not#sometimes it helps for a moment or two#that's if he even wants me around anyway. could you go either way#cause i'm sick n weak n suicidal just the way he likes me but also he might be too focused on doll to feel like playin w/ me rn#i feel like everyone told me it'd get easier but maybe they didn't. or maybe i'm doin smth wrong.#honestly it might be my fault he's gettin worse again in the first place cause maybe he was right n i just need a villain in my life#someone to blame when everything's too hard#i guess i wouldn't know what to do w/ myself if he really changed like we supposedly want him to so.....#i hate how i'm realizing he was right about more n more things all the fucking time#i can't do this on my own. i need someone to go to someone i can rely on someone to hold me#others in this system got someone who actually cares about em n what do i get? fucking val#i try not to go there cause it's not healthy but lately it's been hard to convince myself this life isn't a punishment#hell was too cozy so they put me here instead. i don't deserve to be looked after. i only deserve to be used#i don't know what exactly it was i did that was so awful but. i can't make sense of it any other way#so there must be something. this is just me gettin my due.#why else would i have been made like this? wired wrong for this world in so many ways always needin too much#so stop bitching n whining about it n just take it like a good boy#i'm still a good boy if i rly put myself into it right?#spdrvent
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basketballer!Gojo who knew you from college. You often showed up to his games with your friend (who liked Suguru) and just, in the most uncreepy way possible , stare at him.
basketballer!Gojo who stayed in contact with you even when he went pro. The blinding lights of fame didn’t blur his deep attraction and fondness of you. Even on his least busiest day, which was still pretty busy, he made time for you.
‘Morning, my love…your smile lightens the world and my heart, love G.S��
You smile at the note that was amongst the several bouquets of red roses, your fave.
basketballer!Gojo who made sure he returned to you every night. Unlike his teammates, he wasn’t the type to go clubbing or anything similar. He was just a guy, obsessed with playing basketball and his girlfriend.
“Fuckin’ love you, Y/N…” He breathes into your ear. After a very deserved win, he made sure to let you know how much he appreciated your support. A string of whimpers left your mouth as his dick slid in and out of you. “Always so good for me, baby..”
basketballer!Gojo who, for some reason, gets a little jealous when you steal some of his spotlight. Maybe it was just an ego thing. He was fine at first when it came to you being called ‘WAG of the season’ after sporting some cute outfits. But then when magazines and publishers hit you up, something shifted.
It was no longer Satoru Gojo and his girlfriend. But now Y/N L/N and…what’s-his-face..?
basketballer!Gojo who you no longer recognised after a heated argument.
“You know, this is so predictable. I supported you since we were in college and the one time something good goes for me, you bitch and complain!”, you yell him, your index finger was firm against his chest. “It pisses me off, Gojo. I’m done.”
He scoffs, “I just think it’s too much. The red carpets and shit, I don’t get it.”
“You don’t get it because you’re used to me being just your stay at home girlfriend. Things change!” You release your own scoff to his response.
“Maybe I liked it that way because you had time for me-”
“But you never had time for me!”
basketballer!Gojo who has no comment to reporters when asked about the ‘break up rumours ‘with long term girlfriend, Y/N. But behind the scenes, he’s yearning for your forgiveness. He’s constantly at Suguru and your best friend’s house, hoping he’ll bump into you but you were never there.
it wasn’t until the season’s final where Satoru’s team were up against the undefeated (3 years in a row) champions. He was definitely shitting himself. As team captain, he was physically present, but not mentally.
But when he walked out and saw you in the crowd wearing his jersey, he suddenly felt calm. Were you attracting all the cameras? Yes. Were you dragging attention away from the game? At times, yes. But did he mind? No. For you were there for him. Even when you hated his guts.
basketballer!Gojo who fucks you like it’s his last night with you after his team won the finals. You can’t even remember how many times you’ve came but Satoru wasn’t gonna let you go.
“Toru-hnnnggghhh..! It’s too much!” You cry out real tears as he fucks up into you. He bites your shoulder, he wanted to be so close to you after so many separated nights.
“I’ve missed this body, I’ve missed you so much, baby. You have no clue…” He growls.
basketballer!Gojo who has the biggest grin on his face when paparazzi swarm him, asking about his engagement with Y/N. Truth be told, he hasn’t stopped smiling since he popped the question.
“Satoru, what’s next for you and Y/N?” A reporter asked.
“Babies. Lot’s of ‘em.” He smugly replies.
You’ll defo punish him for that comment.
#szasfuckingwife#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojo satoru fanart#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo saturo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n
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i don't know what to be for halloweeeeeeeen im having a crisis of identity. drapes myself over the sofa dramatically
#like im SUPER excited but i have too many ideas and i like them all#either i could go as some sort of king/prince (recently bought a very cool crown but am not attached to the idea otherwise)#be a demon/tiefling (super fun idea but 1. i dont like how vague it is 2. i would have to buy almost all of it. horns tail etc)#i could maybe combine 1 and 2. demon prince. but i dont love that either! its vague i like specificity#or a creepypasta character maybe (would fulfill a childhood dream but i cant even pick which one id want to do most!)#i think what i need to do is go to spirit halloween and the thrift stores and just fuckin raid em and see what comes to me#bc i want to get started early!! also bc it would be fun#levi.txt#i also know my friends want to do a weekend bash like we did last year so i would have an excuse to do multiple costumes#but we usually do THEMES so ill have to fit the theme#rn i think im leaning towards doing smth creepypasta if only bc 1. its cheaper 2. i could probably reuse whatever clothes i get for it?#and ofc bc i have wanted to do a creepypasta costume since i was 12 years old and somehow never have#lj is out hes too much work. ej is too easy although hed be fun. somehow jeff is both bc its so damn hard to get a white hoodie#not jane/sally/nina for obvious reasons (do not put me in a dress so help me god) and im not too attached to ben#i dont think im good enough at sfx to go as clockwork which does make me a little sad. i loved her growing up it would be so fun#maybe i have to go as toby. thatd be rad i could do a reallly good job of that and i did love him too#yall i mightve solved it. post cancelled hbfsjhjsk
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Giving up
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Coaxing your neighbor into having sex with you although he's unsure since he's much, much older than you
Warnings: big ass unspecified age-gap, Jackson!Joel is a softie Smut| unprotected piv, crempie, insicure!joel, sub!joel, also my man has trouble lasting cause he's not done this in a very long time.
a/n:i needed to write some cheesy romantic stuff, and maybe it doesn't really make all that sense in this story and maybe i cried while writing this cause no one is ever gonna love me like this but so what bitch leave me alone (i also am i lil tipsy as i proofread this, so ignore any mistakes pls)
Part 1
"did you do something to your hair?"
Tommy was standing on Joel's doorstep, looking at him as if he were an alien.
"I washed 'em" he grumbled, "what do you want?"
His brother couldn't help but huff out a laugh
"someone's in a good mood today"
"I've gotta be somewhere, just tell me what you want"
Tommy's interest was only piqued more.
there stood his brother, his clothes perfectly clean- maybe even ironed- his hair... styled, his beard trimmed...
something was definitely going on.
"Where are you going?"
Joel rolled his eyes now, shooting his little brother a death glare
"none of your business"
Oh he knew what was going on...
"Who is she?"
"Tommy-"
"Is it Jessica? I bet 's Jessica, she's always flirting with you you ol' dog-"
Joel swore he was gonna punch him- he was already running late because of how long he took to pick his clothes- finding a flannel that wasn't completely worn out turned out to be real fucking hard.
He felt stupid for how much effort he'd put into getting ready, he felt stupid for how anxious he was, but most of all... he wanted his brother to go away.
"There ain't no one, Tommy- now, if there ain't anything you need, please go-"
But just then- just when he was finally going to get rid of him, your sweet, soft voice made its way to his ears.
"Hi Joel! Hi Tommy!" You smiled from your porch, waving your hand at him and his brother "You didn't forget about today, did you Joel?"
What in the actual fuck?
Tommy did a double-check, looking between you and his brother, and when he finally confirmed that it was actually him you were talking to, you whom he'd gotten all dolled up for, he couldn't do anything but let out a slow, long breath.
"No I didn't- I'll be there in a minute, darlin'!" Joel was answering you as his brother regained his ability to speak
"well... Fuck. Me" he was in awe, his voice barely a murmur
"it ain't like that" Joel was quick to intervene "'m just fix-"
"'m sure it ain't" Tommy let out a chuckle, his hand going to pat his brother's back "You fucking lucky bastard"
"Tommy I know she's young bu-"
"shut up man" he laughed "Just go have fun, you asshole"
__ __
"Sorry 'm late, Tommy was just-"
You smiled at his words, shaking your head
"It's ok, Joel" you cooed as you let him in,
He gave you a soft little smile, and you felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
Joel Miller didn't smile just at anyone.
"water?" you asked, leading him to the kitchen.
"Uhm- sure"
His heart was damn near beating out of his chest already- for no fucking reason at all.
Well except the obvious one... you'd sucked his dick and he'd eaten you out three days ago- and you'd made it clear you wanted more.
Jesus Christ, he felt like a fourteen-year-old with his first crush.
You watched him as he sipped on the glass.
"So?" a soft smirk was caged between your teeth "Did you think about it?"
He damn near choked.
Which didn't make any sense, he was expecting this, he already knew you'd ask.
He cleared his throat, diverting his eyes from you "I-I have"
"And?"
You'd gotten closer, your expectant eyes studying every inch of his face
pleasepleasepleaseplease say yes
"Did- didn't you have something that needed fixing?"
Oh for fuck's sake
"joel" you called for him in what almost sounded like a plead.
"darlin' just... lemme fix your cabinet first"
This man was gonna be the goddamn death of you.
"ok"
__ __ __
As it turns out, in many different ways.
Who knew watching him fix something would turn out to be so fucking hot?
He'd rolled his shirt up so that his strong forearms and a glimpse of his beautiful bite-worthy biceps were showing, his hands moved so very expertly that they couldn't help but bring back memories of what those same fingers had done to you just a few days ago, and his face... he looked so hot when he was all in his head, concentrated only on the task before him-
or so you thought.
"You're gonna stare at me the whole time?"
A soft laugh escaped your lips
"don't mind me- just enjoying the view"
He huffed out a laugh as he went back to work, but you couldn't help but notice the fact he pushed his sleeves ever further up his arms, giving you more of a view of his delectable skin.
What a tease
__ __ __
"there we go" he said after some time, opening and closing the cabinet one final time to make sure "all done"
For the record, this time you hadn't even done it on purpose, the cabinet had actually broken. It was like fate was sending you a message.
You awakened from your daydreams as he stood up to his full height, and hopped off the stool you were sitting on to walk closer to him, noticing some dampness in your panties while doing so...
It wasn't your fault... he was the one looking way too hot doing such a simple task.
"thank you" You smiled up at him, your hands going to his chest,
He held his breath for a moment
"'s nothing babygirl"
"yeah? then... you think you could check my bedroom too?" you were biting your lip in a way that made your question take on a whole different meaning "to make sure nothing needs fixing y'know?"
"In your... bedroom?"
"yes, Joel- please" you added, with your best innocent doe eyes.
Which of course made him fold in a matter of seconds.
You'd taken on a different tactic. It was obvious at this point that the man was too shy and too unsure to give you an answer (or the one you wanted to hear anyway), which is why you needed to present him with the actual possibility right in front of him.
And yeah maybe it was manipulative, but fuck it if you didn't wanna feel the man inside of you.
The flashbacks of what he did to you on that bed filled his mind the moment he stepped into the room.
He needed to get a grip or he wouldn't be able to hide his growing bulge in a minute.
"Everything seems right"
"yeah? 'm not sure about the bed" you hummed, desperately hoping he would just go along with it "it makes a weird sound when I get on it"
He turned to you then, his eyes locking with yours for an infinite second.
"try" you said finally, nodding to the bed.
He watched you for a moment longer before, surprising you, he did it- he sat on the bed.
The mattress creaked underneath his weight, and you made quick work of strolling closer to him as he pressed his palms on the bed, checking for the inexistent "weird sound"
"it don't look like there's anythin' wron-" he looked up the moment your hands found his shoulders "Whatcha doin'? sweethear-"
You were sat on his lap before he could even finish the sentence.
"Joel" you spoke his name softly, as if it were a caress, your hands slowly moving up and down from his shoulders to his pecs, as you finally scooted closer to him so your core was right against the hardness in his jeans-
He inhaled sharply, his fingers curling on the bed.
"would you like to have sex with me or not?"
You accentuated your words with a slow roll of your hips, grinding onto him and making a soft groan build inside his throat
"this- this ain't really fair sugar"
A smirk pulled at your lips as you lowered your head to whisper in his ear "I never said I didn't play dirty, Mr. Miller"
Your right hand trailed lower, moving down his belly so slowly that Joel thought he might just lose his mind.
"You're y-young baby-"
Your hand had found his crotch, the outline of his dick fitting in your hand oh so perfectly.
"we've gone over this already Joel, I'm old enough" you purred, your lips leaving a peck just below his ear "old enough to do many many things"
He cursed under his breath
"I just... I don't understand"
A breathy laugh escaped you
"there's not much to understand really" you murmured "You're hot, and I like you, and I wanna get in your pants"
That earned you a chuckle
"and you're sure you won't regret this?" he asked, "you sure this is what you really want- that- that you don't want to give a boy your age a chance instead of me?"
You smiled as you looked up at him,
you'd never met a man so sweet
"Joel, I promise you I'm sure" you whispered "I promise you this is what I want, you are what I want"
Fucking damn it
How could he ever say no after that?
With those gentle eyes of yours looking at him, with your hand right over his cock...
"So?"
He was gonna think about the consequences tomorrow. Now- now there was only you.
"yes"
That single word sounded better than any song you'd ever heard.
yes
Your lips were on his before he could even think of changing his mind- and god did they feel like a dream.
His soft stubble grazed against your cheeks and upper lip, as you deepened the kiss, as he opened up to you, closing his eyes only after he'd taken you in, only after he could admire all that was happening to him for some godforsaken reason.
A growl rumbled from his chest when your core found his dick again, grinding onto it in a way, that combined with the way your tongue was tasting every inch of him, was making him see stars.
He didn't think he'd kissed like this in 30 years,
making out seemed like such a distant thing from him, he was much too old to do something like this, and yet... everything about you made him feel like a teenager all over again, so perhaps it was fitting-
and god he had forgotten how amazing it felt.
You started undoing his flannen, not even dreaming of breaking the kiss, and once you opened his shirt up, once his big strong chest was right there before you, you just had to look at it.
You leaned away, his lips chasing yours making you smile as your gaze lowered.
Jesus, he was the hottest man you'd ever seen.
Some hair and freckles adorned his pecs, his little belly was ever so cutely fighting against his jeans- his skin was soft beneath your palms as they explored every inch they could reach.
He was looking at you, watching your blow-out eyes, wondering what potion you'd drank to be this mesmerized by what he had to offer.
You smiled once you caught him, leaning closer to leave a quick kiss on his lips.
"take off your clothes"
You got off of him, and once he saw you get rid of your shirt, your boobs pushed together by a simple black bra that somehow, at the moment, seemed like the sexiest thing in the world, he rushed to follow suit, nearly tripping getting off his pants.
The moment he looked at you again, the world- the universe, it all went quiet.
You stood naked before him, a soft, perfect little thing, looking like a damn dream.
"babygirl" he could only breathe as you reached him again.
"What?" you laughed
"I-I don't even know"
You shook your head, grinning from ear to ear as he pressed his mouth on yours again.
He was already addicted.
In a haze, you found yourself on the bed, your body caged beneath his, his tongue fighting with yours, his hands all over- You almost had the urge to laugh at how desperate he seemed, how frantically he was touching every inch of you, exploring every piece of skin-
His hands were on your tits, fingers gently playing with your nipples, then on your belly, your waist, your ass, your thighs, until finally, he found your core, but before he had the time to fully reach it you'd switched up with him, straddling his lap as he laid flat on his back... only he couldn't keep away for even a second and he immediately sat up, grabbing your waist.
He couldn't even begin to complain that you'd already grabbed his cock, positioning it at your entrance.
You couldn't wait anymore- you needed him now.
"Wait-" he murmured, his breathing labored already "you sure you're... y'know ready?"
Oh my god, you swore you were gonna fall for him if he kept this shit up.
"Joel" you smiled, looking into his big brown eyes "I've been wet since you fixed the cabinet"
"I-" he blushed "You-you sure?"
You didn't answer him, you simply took one of his hands in yours and guided him to feel just how much you were telling the truth.
"Fuck"
"yeah" you smirked "that's just what you do to me, Mr. Miller"
Jesus fuck
Joel didn't think his cock had ever been so hard.
You didn't give him time to do or say anything- he'd gathered that's how you did things by now- as you slowly, oh so very slowly, started sinking onto him.
He was big, the kind of big you'd be feeling tomorrow morning. The stretch hurt just right, so overwhelmed by the unadulterated pleasure that it was barely there.
Soft little moaned gasps spilled from your lips with every inch added, your eyes were closed, only focusing on the extraordinary feeling as your nails clawed at Joel's chest.
Until, finally- you'd done it. You were fully sat on his cock, and while your eyelids fluttered open, you regained your ability to hear- to hear the curses leaving Joel's mouth between ragged breaths
"Jesus Christ- Jesus fucking Christ- Goddamnit"
His grip on your waist was so tight you were sure it was gonna leave a bruise... not that you were complaining.
"you ok?"
His eyes were shut close and creases of effort filled his forehead, while his chest went up and down as he desperately tried to breathe.
"Joel?"
He swallowed tightly, now breathing in through his nose before exhaling from his mouth.
"d-don't move"
You smiled as you promised "I won't"
God this was fucking embarrassing.
He'd spent three days training.
And yes he wasn't sure he would have said yes, but still, better safe than sorry- except for the fact it clearly hadn't worked.
He had spent three days fucking his own fist and trying to last as much as possible and he did do progress... but this... this was fucking nothing like what he'd felt in the last twenty years.
He was so fucked
"I-I'm sorry" he gritted out, sounding almost defeated "I- I haven't done this in a long time darlin'"
"And you... you feel so fuckin' good- fuck"
Your walls had inadvertently squeezed around him at his words, making a groan rumble in his chest.
"You have nothing to apologize for Joel"
he would have told you that your voice was making everything worse if he weren't so preoccupied with trying to calm his dick down.
"take all the time you need"
And so he did, his eyes remained closed as he breathed through the initial shock, until finally, after what felt like an eternity, he was back.
He had to stifle a moan once he opened his eyes back up.
There you were, your beautiful eyes trained on his with such gentleness and care that it made where his gaze fell to feel even more sinful.
Your boobs were barely touching his chest, and yet they could have been in his face for the effect they had on him- his hands were on your waist, holding onto your soft flesh, your thighs were straddling his lap, giving him no choice but to finally look between your bodies, where you two connected.
"Darlin'" he murmured, hypnotized
You smiled, watching him admiring you in silence
"You look..."
Every word that came to mind wasn't enough, you were otherwordly, you were perfection... so he just settled on the simplest, and perhaps truest of them all.
"you're beautiful"
Your cheeks burned with heat as his gaze came back to yours.
"so are you, Joel"
And that was that.
His lips found yours again, and you couldn't stop your hips as they started moving, rocking back and forth and bringing little waves of ecstasy to your core.
A desperate moan spilled from yours to Joel's mouth as he grabbed the back of your head, forcing you into an even deeper kiss as he started following your movements.
Your hands went to the back of his neck, grabbing at the hair at the nape of it as you finally started bouncing on his dick, and god- god it was even better than you could have ever imagined
The loudest growl sounded from his throat as you worked yourself up and down on his shaft.
He was in another universe, his actions were only reflexes as the hand not tangled in your hair found your tits and then your ass, grabbing at it with tenderness and need.
"Oh Joel" you cried, his dick filling you up better than anything ever before.
You could quite literally feel him in your stomach, every little vein and ridge of skin creating a permanent dent inside of you that only he was ever gonna be able to fill.
"sweetheart- fuck" he groaned on his own, your breaths mixing as you ghosted each other's mouths, his eyes raking over your body and face, while yours couldn't help but roll to the back of your head as his manhood hit a particularly good spot.
"You feel so- good Joel" you whimpered mindlessly, now quickening your pace, desperation taking over you completely.
the sound of him entering your drenched core mixed with the bed creaking underneath you as you drove yourself closer and closer to heaven.
The sound of his name falling from your lips was something that filled Joel's chest with an indescribable feeling, he felt on top of the word, and at the same time... at the same time he wished it had never left your mouth because it was now forever imprinted in his brain, and he knew nothing was ever gonna compare to it.
Oh and also- also it was making his little lasting problem real fucking hard to control.
But he was nothing if not a gentleman,
You were gonna come, he wasn't gonna have it any other way.
His hand lowered down your belly as you kept chasing your release, looking like a damn glimpse of paradise, until his thumb found your clit.
"Oh fuck" you moaned, your eyes snapping open to look at him- a dark glaze of lust shading your iris.
Joel realized too late that he hadn't taken into account how fucking tight you'd get, and was now really paying the consequences.
Plus when you looked at him like that... maybe just this one time he could not be a gentleman- I mean it's not like he had much choice, he was trying his hardest but- shit
"darlin'" he mumbled, his thumb circling your bud "w-where do ya- where do ya want it?"
You moaned louder just at the thought of him coming
"Inside"
It wasn't even a question
"N-no sweetheart I-I shouldn-"
"Joel" you interrupted him, your lips grazing his as you talked, your grip on his hair tightening "I want you to fill me up until I can feel you leaking out of me for days"
Good Christ and heaven
"Fuck me" he cursed, all his strength going on not coming right there and then "Darlin' please- tell me you're close"
You were already seeing stars as he spoke
"I'm close, baby- oh fuck" you cried "Joel!"
A tsunami of lust-filled pleasure coursed through your veins as your orgasm hit like a damn truck.
You couldn't even remember your name as you screamed his own into the thick air, as you moaned and cried and spasmed around him, feeling him do exactly what you'd asked- filling you up to the very brim.
He'd started coming the moment you did- he couldn't do anything about it, it was just unadulterated perfection-
His head fell between your neck and shoulders as groaned like a man possessed,
until finally, after a good three minutes, you were both back to the land of the living.
He looked twenty years younger when he looked at you again, and you- you looked like the most beautiful woman on earth.
A soft smile pulled at your lips, and you couldn't help but ask "How long before we can do it again?"
And fuck him, but his age didn't matter, with those eyes of yours, it might very well be minutes.
@kluvspedro @bluebiyou @casssiopeia @bean-is-reading @millerispunk @i-cant-stfu
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