#there is a very real and very compelling dynamic there. the mutual respect. the connection that comes with taking responsibility.

[thaliagrayce]

i've been talking abt my voltron playlists and @iveofficiallygonemad asked to hear them and i want to share with anybody who wants!! i know they're not perfect, i'm working on them & trying to make them better. if you have any recommendations for any of them, let me know!! there's like A Lot and i want to give a lil explanation for most of them, so i'm putting them under the cut ^-^

SO first i have my favorite one <3 it's just. all of them. it's the whole team. it's a mess and it's a bunch of different genres because it's them fighting over the aux cord on a road trip. it's them trying to make each other laugh or annoy each other or play something catchy enough it will infect everyone in the vicinity with brain worms.

Hunk: i'm pretty happy with my Hunk playlist! chill vibes. he strikes me as the kind of guy who listens to calm music to try to find his own calm, and that's what i got here :)

Pidge: this is messier and less cohesive than my usual playlist because frankly i think pidge would have a shit taste in music. all over the board. this is a mix of meme songs and 8-bit covers and vocaloid and stuff that i think pidge would genuinely connect with, and i think pidge listens to all their music on shuffle without any regards for genre or mood because they're a gremlin. nobody gives pidge sole control of the aux.

Coran hears 80's music for the first time and loses his mind. He thinks ABBA is humanity's single greatest achievement.

Lance: i have ideas about where I'm going with this but haven't really settled yet. Lance seems like the kind of boy that loves to dance (is that canon? i forgot) so most of these are Bops That Make You Move in some way or another. he likes to present an upbeat face to the world, so there's no angsting in this playlist! we are clinging to the things that make us happy with both hands until our knuckles turn white!

Keith: i'm gonna be honest. i made him a playlist but i honestly don't think he cares about music very much. it's very important to some people! he's just not one of them! i haven't cracked this playlist open in a while but i'm pretty sure it's full of songs that i think he would conceivably train/work out to.

Shiro: this playlist involves the dumbest headcanon i have for shiro that has just not left me alone since i first thought of it. most of the playlist reflects the fact that he had an emo phase in middle school (that one isn't a headcanon, you just have to look at him to know) but BUT there are a few songs on here that are on here because. little known fact. he also went through a Twilight phase that he told nobody about. (keith knows. keith was there.) he has the entire twilight soundtrack memorized. he moved past the story but the music stays forever. he used to daydream about slow dancing to Flightless Bird, American Mouth. the first time Coran mentions that they have to avoid a place because there's a supermassive black hole there, he has to bite his tongue in order to keep a straight face. do NOT ask me why i believe this so wholeheartedly.

Allura's playlist sucks right now. I think it's because in my heart of hearts i know that, were she on earth today, she would go fucking nuts for taylor swift. i have ambivalent feelings for taylor swift. i cannot do allura justice like this. if you see my vision and have recs as to what might actually fit her, PLEASE.

Klance: i haven't done it yet but i'm gonna go through this and sort it to be a sort of progression of their relationship, starting with the more combative Rivalry songs, then slipping into "oh shit oh shit" songs, then maybe ending on the more lighthearted purely romantic songs <3

(i have two songs in a shallura playlist which does not at all encapsulate how much i'm obsessed with them. the tiny cop inside my head is just constantly screaming at me that i'm going to get yelled at for liking shallura. i am going to kill the cop inside my head.)

[acacia-may]

Acacia, I shall be hitting you with a whole fruit salad.

I’m sorry but I do want to ask all of these. So please, take your time answering. 😅

🍒, 🍊, 🍑, 🍐, and 🍈?

Aww thank you so much, Erika! I really appreciate it. There's no need to apologize. I'd love to answer these for you. Thank you so much for sending them in. 🥰

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

I'm sure this will come as no surprise to you but I love to write brother relationships, especially in that sweet spot of they love each other deeply but the relationship between them is strained usually by external and/or internal forces and/or breakdowns in communication driving a wedge between them that makes it difficult to express how much they really care about each other. It's such a fascinating dynamic to me (I honestly don't know why, but I'm always so compelled by these kind of deeply loving but deeply broken relationships where you're looking at these fictional siblings and you just know how much they truly love each other but they just can't communicate that and can't overcome whatever it is that's tearing them apart.

(I'm going to ramble just a little bit here so please excuse me) For instance, you've got Finral and Langris who are driven apart by their own wounds & insecurities but also because they were pitted against each other by their parents and kind of had to see each other as adversaries in order to survive in their abusive home. Whereas Sanemi pushed his brother away to try to protect him and lashed out when Genya misunderstood and tried to prove himself by doing the exact thing his brother was trying to protect him from. Hero and Kel both pushed each other away because they were afraid of hurting each other. And don't even get me started about Kai and Sei because that is just... (I'm cutting myself off)

Anyway, the one underpinning thread here is that there is obviously real love between these siblings underneath all of that pain, strain, and brokeness in the relationship and therefore is a hope that they can overcome these obstacles and build a healthy bond with each other (whether that's again or, in some cases, for the first time). Even I have my limits though and there are some relationships that are clearly unhealthy and unsalvageable. When it's clear that their really is no mutual respect here and/or no potential for change or real love then I'm out. But those ones that are more nuanced where the relationship is just strained rather than permanently broken, I personally am very compelled by those and have a lot of hope of them being repaired. That's probably my favorite kind of relationship to write about.

I also love writing about platonic Male-Female friendships because I feel like those are criminally underrated.

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Gordon. I'm so sorry Gordon! He was honestly one of my favorite characters when I was watching and reading Black Clover, but he's just so hard for me to write that I've never really been able to do as much with him as I would've liked. I have half a story written from his POV for the Early Black Bulls Series but it was such a struggle that I just never finished it. I also considered making up an OC for him to marry in the future around the same time I was creating Lorelei for Henry (because he just seems like such a domestic type who'd be happy to settle down & have a family one day. Just such a loving Papa). But not a lot came of that. I name dropped his daughter (who is adopted) in one of my fics, but yeah...I really dropped the ball on poor Gordon. He deserves more love.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

My sister and I make jokes all the time about (a well-adjusted) Langris sort of "adopting" all the high-stress, overachieving perfectionist kiddos we tend to adopt ourselves from other media and becoming kind of father figure to them and trying to help them --convince them it's okay to have fun and that they don't have to be perfect all the time and try to "earn" love (usually with Finesse's help and/or by begging Vanessa to intervene because he has no idea what he's doing). And the kids really look up to him and think he's super cool. We call them the "Langris Squad." It's a little hard to explain but kind of wholesome in my mind.

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

...that House Vaude Drama needs a resolution. I think especially for me (because I'm a biased Langris-sympathizer) something I always try to include in fics is just trying to kind of explain why in the world he is acting the way he is and is (weirdly enough) sort of helping Finral best him. It's strange from the outside (I have a lot of headcanons about it), so I really like to dive into Langris' emotions, thoughts, and motivations about what's going on there since it was really abrupt and glossed over in the actual canon. Also, again, I like to resolve this mess when I can. (Not always in the same way because there are multiple resolutions which would be fine, but I don't really care for the way it has been handled in the canon).

Another one that comes to mind is the aftermath of the Golden Dawn losing so much of their squad in the fight against Zenon. I know that was a while ago, but it still irks me that we didn't get to see a whole of them grieving and trying to rebuild. Yuno had a really great and heart-wrenching moment about it in the Spade Arc when he tapped into his grief to motivate him during his rematch against Zenon, but I feel like there's a lot of untapped potential there, especially for Mimosa who unlocks such a powerful healing ability that she could use to save other people during the Spade Arc but couldn't use to save her own squad mates. I can't imagine how hard that is for her, and I was actually so frustrated this got glossed over that I wrote a story about it called "For What It's Worth" which unfortunately I think was written in the time before Tumblr and never made it over here. Maybe I'll cross post it, if you (or anyone else is interested)?

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

From Black Clover, Langris. Hands down. He was not always (and I detested him at first), but he's definitely the character I find most interesting now. I just want him and Finral to repair their brotherly relationship so much! It's what I have wanted most out of Black Clover for a very long time. I also really enjoy his friendship with Yuno and especially with Lady Finesse.

I have way too many headcanons about him, but I think the biggest one that comes up the most and has the most bearing over how I write his character is that Langris loves so much more intensely and deeply than he is given credit for. He struggles to be vulnerable and doesn't open his heart to too many people, but when he does, he will love forever and will be willing to make great sacrifices for what is best for that person and what will make them happy.

My most strongly held Langris headcanon is that it is the love that he has for Finesse that has led him to try to help Finral take over House Vaude. I flip-flop a lot over whether it is a romantic or platonic love, but regardless, I am convinced that however you want to qualify that, Langris loves her and is so concerned with her happiness that he would willingly give up what's he has worked for his entire life, his sense of purpose, and, really, his own sense of identity (in a way) just in the off chance that Finesse would be happy. And even more than that...would be happy without him. This is not a sacrifice to get the girl. This is a purely selfless action. He knows if he does this, he will lose everything and they will never be together, but he doesn't care because what he wants more than all of that is for Finesse to be happy and he doesn't think he can be the one to make her happy, so that's why he counts himself out.

[biosblades]

I’m sorry, am I the only one who finds these takes to always have a ton of secret prejudice just under the surface?? Because we don’t need to act like platonic friendship, and even super super close and meaningful platonic friendship doesn’t exist in toh.

Like all these people LOVE to ignore Gus and Hunter’s friendship despite it being one of the best in the show imo. Gus and Hunter have shared trauma, shared hobbies, they know more about each other than anyone else, trust/respect each other, they’re both hella perceptive about what the other needs.

Or Gus and Willow. Friends since forever, honestly not a ton in common on a surface level, but they just genuinely like the other person. They’ve grown together, both went through major changes without their friendship waivering. They support each other through thick and thin.

But something about the outcast kid with the darkest skin of the whole main kids gang makes these types overlook or even actively reject the friendship that they’re begging for when it’s that guy…

And what about Willow and Amity?? That’s a super compelling arc, and I think the show does a phenomenal job addressing their friendship with nuance. They are genuinely friends now, they’ve apologized, forgiven, worked it out. But it’s still not back to how they were before. There’s that lingering tension of an open wound that both are making an active and mutual effort to heal.

What about Willow and Luz, Luz and King, Hunter and Luz, Raine and the Catts, Darius and Eber, Matt and Gus, the detention track squad, etc (and this really doesn’t even get in to things like parental love or familial love)

This show provides amazing portrayals of every flavor of platonic friendship. Yet these guys want to complain about 1 of 3 romantic arcs in the entire show (and more importantly the arc THAT SO MANY PEOPLE have said is so important for the representation it provides). Both Hunter and Willow have tons of very compelling friendships. It’s not like Huntlow being canon will mean they only care about romance, they have so many friends.

So let’s just stop and think for a second about why people cannot accept these two in particular getting a romance arc. Something about the fat girl and the traumatized + disabled boy makes people so insistent that those two shouldn’t get a romantic relationship.

Let’s be fr. This isn’t about “wanting more platonic relationships” or even wanting those two in particular to have platonic connections. They both get that!! People love those friendships!! There’s no reason at all to be dissatisfied with the amount of platonic love shown. And the truth is, in reality, they aren’t. They’re dissatisfied because they don’t want these characters to be portrayed as romantic. It makes them uncomfortable, but instead of just admitting it, they make up fake complaints that are already resolved.

Go ahead, gripe about Huntlow all you want. Cry about amanormativity in the show chock full of every friendship dynamic there is. Just know that some of us see right through those excuses. We know what your real objection is. And it just makes it feel that much sweeter when with every episode they get more and more blatantly romantic. We laughed and toasted with homophobe tears with each new lumity moment, and we’re doing the same thing with your bigoted despair 🥰

In light of the newest Owl House episode, i think it's best for people to not get too attached to their ships (or be too AGAINST those ships). It's petty to be in shipping wars in general, but it's also important to accept that the creators of your favourite shows may have different plans than the ones you'd prefer. Say Huntlow does become canon, do you really want to let that bother you? Do you want to have those shipping it to rub their "victory" in your face? I understand wanting this show to hold platonic friendships between young characters as just as important and meaningful as romantic relationships. But you're generally going to get disappointed if you're expecting the media you like to do that.

I mean, yeah, I will be disappointed if hunter and willow get together and I will be upset seeing it shoved in my face but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that? Like obviously dana is allowed to do what she wants with her show and if she wants huntlow to get together I respect that but I don’t have to like it or suck it up and be quiet just because its canon. Canon or not I’m still gonna talk about how I don’t like the ship and how amanormative the fandom and the show itself are.

Me wanting platonic relationship to be treated as equally important as romantic ones shouldn’t leave me disappointed. That’s the whole point of me not liking huntlow. I’m sick of being told romantic relationships are superior to platonic ones and that deep friendships MUST lead to romantic feelings in the shows I like. I WANT to see two friends stay friends for the whole show and have their friendship be treated as seriously and important to the characters as it would be if it was romantic. This is something the owl house has been bad about since season 1 and I’ve been upset about it since season 1, I just never bothered talking about it till now.

Wanting to see a platonic relationship be respected in a show I like shouldn’t be a hot take or setting me up for disappointment, and if it is that’s a problem with the show and not me.

[filthforfriends]

ok but that ask of abo dynamics? the thing you wrote? perfection.

take this as a request: keep writing that please i beg you (im beggin yoOuU). like what happened after that kiss, what happened as soon as she turned 16, i just need to know and my imagination isn't really good for that 😩

also im a sucker for abo dynamics, especially damiano being a really protective alpha

OKAY I'm gonna try to continue this one and hers a pic of how I imagine alpha!daminao

when he drops you off at your house, he goes inside to meet your parents. theres a chance that you scents will evolve based on your romantic and sexual connection, so he wants to meet them before that. alphas meeting their omega's parents is customary, since omega's may meet their lifelong mates, or vice versa, as young as 12 or 13. since its not uncommon for your first real mate to be your mate for life, getting off on the right foot with the parents is important to Damiano. what your parents think of his character and intentions concerns him. He wants to establish a good relationship with them.

of course he's Damiano: charismatic, eloquent, artistic, confident, and respectful of your boundaries. the fact that he's bothered to introduce himself so early is already scoring him points. but this is also a stepping stone so he doesn't just assume that he'll be introduced. he's actually kinda tactful and quiet about it. when he pulls back up to your house (adjusting his jeans multiple times) he asks, shy or even timid in a soft voice "do you want me to meet your parents? if not I understand! you don't know much about me yet, so if you'd prefer to mate until you're sure --" "I'm sure about you. come inside." he'd say okay and so one of those precious, genuine smiles that reaches his eyes.

your parents weren't stupid. they could sense a slight change when Damiano started to hang around you more. it was almost imperceptible, but your mom caught it. so although your parents are surprised to see Damiano, they're not really that surprised. figured this time would come soon. of course they're apprehensive about a 17 year old alpha being interested in their 15 year old daughter, but even sitting down for the tense, awkward conversation that you quickly excused yourself from evokes good will because its a sigh of quality character. after a rather long integration, they can tell that he's trustworthy.

you've retreated to your room to give them privacy, as is customary, and are just half assing your homework when theres a knock on your bedroom door. its not your parents or your older sisters, that you would recognize. you also recognize his smell. "come in, damiano" he steps into your room, more nervous than you. of course you trust Damiano to be in a room along with you, in fact the thought excites you as it does him, which is why hes nervous. being in such close quarters compels him to want to throw out the rule book and every social nicety he's supposed to comply with. he also knows that he's being watched very closely, so he leaves the door open completely.

"so, I'm gonna go." "and my folks?" "we're on good terms, I'm sure I'll meet them again before you're birthday." you understand what he means. once strong mutual chemistry is established between a mating pair, the world seems to throw them together at every opportunity. in reality, its all pheromones, you're attracted to eachother not just aesthetically, but chemically, and seek the other out subconsciously (and consciously of course.) the inevitability of Damiano is so exciting, and although you knew this was probably coming, now that its here, everything feels very sudden.

"you look" Damiano sighs, cocking his head to the side trying to read your expression "not scared, but...shaken?" you think about it for a second "I feel grounded, its just very new, I think." he's nod, shoving his hands in his pockets while standing in your doorway. you want to leap off the bed, across the room, and throw yourself at him full force. "y/n, we're gonna start the barbecue on the back porch! your sisters will be home for dinner soon!" you hear the back door slide open and closed, which is giving permission for something, at least for you and Daminao to be in the same room together without supervision.

"just come inside Damiano, I don't bite," you joke. of course sinking your teeth into Damiano mid heat sounded positively delightful. he'd close the door behind himself and lean against it. "what are you so far away?" you'd tease, bubbly from his proximity, but Damiano's energy is in a very different place. "what's wrong?" "we have to pause the physical aspect of our relationship, which is going to hurt you. and I have to go." he tries to be stoic but is actually biting back passion and carnal desire. his words burn behind your eyes, but you try to maintain composure. "and right now? today? its not like I have another alpha I can go to and get a knot from so I can stop sitting in. a pool of my own slick." "you'll calm down." his words are anything but confident, like he's trying to convince himself. "don't you remember the first time someone turned you on like this? when does it go away?" Damiano's silence was answer enough. "how many knots did it take until the ache stopped?" your jaw is set, as though anything could ward off the desperation. in every way but physical, you were raw, exposed to the elements. the sensation had passed uncomfortable and was steadily on its way towards excruciating.

"I don't know how many, three or four at least." he was avoiding eye contact, but you hadn't expected an answer so honest. "but I can't do that for you, you'll go into heat. I already talked to your parents, I know--" "can we please not talk about my parents right now." "y/n, I know you're not on hormone suppressants. I know you just got on birth control. It might not even be fully effective right now." "it's been over two weeks! I'm fine! you're just looking for excuses!" and really there wasn't a worse time to be rejected. you were supposed to be irresistible right now. it should be taking everything inside Damiano to hold back: his scent on you, slick between your legs, an enthusiastic mate, an optimal location. these factors should be intensifying one another. sure Damiano looked like he was in pain, but you did want him suffering, you wanted him to break.

"is there something about me that isn't sexy to you yet? is that why we have to wait!?" you interrogated. Damiano let out one of those unhinged laughs and shook his head, looking up as he sighed. "um, no. you're young and fertile and unmarked and I'm trying not to think about how soft your skin is but I fucking can't now because we kissed and I can't fucking breath without remembering how soft you were and nice to hold and grab and have and touch." "have me! touch me!" Damiano shook his head, putting his face in his hands and letting out a breath that sounded positively exhausted. "no, they're things you need to learn and I can't be the one to teach you." "that makes no fucking sense!" you finally yelled, getting off your bed to stand up. "why can't you --" "because I don't want to scare you away! you still think that alpha's want to be Prince Charming for their omegas! you still believe in soul mates that will do anything for eachother, but we can't change who we are!"

"so you won't knot me till I believe love is a lie?" "what the? fuck! no, y/n its not about love, its not about having and touching! I want to fucking devour you, okay? I don't want to make gentle love to you, I want to own you. I want to possess you. I want to consume you. Its not pretty, or romantic. We're animals! Once you take on your first mate you give up a piece of your humanity and you never get it back. You allow yourself to be debased and never get all your decency back. So you, right now, pure, healthy, willing, fucking delicious. You're offering yourself to me and I can smell your pre-cum drying on your thighs, so all I want to do is ruin you for anyone else. And thats not what our first time is going to be! okay? so end of discussion."

[pynkhues]

Where do you think Logan and Marica are relationship-wise by the end of S3? Are we to assume the romantic part is basically over, and it's now more of a mutually beneficial partnership than a traditional marriage? Given Kerry's presence and Marcia's seeming indifference to her, it makes me wonder. Or maybe she knows something the siblings and the audience doesn't re: Kerry and Logan.

I'm really curious about it too, actually.

This is a bit of an aside, but I am so fascinated about the show's decision to slowly shut us out of Logan's POV in s3, in no small part because I'm pretty sure it timed with Logan shutting both Kendall and Shiv out. It makes for a really compelling shift in terms of narrative power, and I think – arguably – makes the case for Kendall and Shiv being the characters with the true foot in the door of Logan's inner life.

Roman was undoubtedly the favourite child of s3, but the fact that we were never granted Logan's true POV during this season in the way we were in s1 and s2 I think backs up what Shiv said to Roman in the car in 3.09. Logan never truly took Roman seriously because he thought there was something wrong with him, whereas both Kendall and Shiv were genuinely weighed by Logan, and also have an emotional 'in' to him that Roman and Connor don't. We could speculate all day about why that is (although I do, as always, put forth the case that both Kendall and Shiv remind him of Rose), but alas, haha.

Not getting his POV though in the second half of s3 really shut us out of so many of Logan's interpersonal dynamics, and especially his respective relationships with Marcia and Kerry.

I'm actually inclined to think that neither Marcia nor Logan really know what their relationship is anymore, but that they're both clearly wounded. One of my favourite things about their dynamic is that I think they're both two extremely traumatised people who, out of necessity, have become ruthless survivors, and it was in that that they found a very real human connection. I really do think they were in love, but I also think Marcia was right when she told Logan at the end of 2.08 that he broke something by betraying her trust. I think she could've tolerated an affair, but not the partnership Logan tried to have with Rhea, and definitely not being shut out.

In that sense, I think the wound has been a gaping one, and her return to him in s3 is one of murky motivation. Yes, she wants to secure her financial future, and she certainly wants everyone around them to know that Logan fucked up, but I think she also genuinely circled being a partner to him again, first through floating the idea of exposing what Kendall had done at Shiv's wedding, and later through playing the face at Caroline's wedding while Logan schemed upstairs. Similarly, I think Logan wanted Marcia back – something I thought was loud in 2.10 in particular – but when she was cold, he likely retreated.

Logan doesn't like to face the ways that he's hurt people he loves – god, just think of the therapy session in 1.07 – and he tends to attack, then retreat, then pretend it never happened at all. I think what probably happened as a result was that Marcia and him circled each other after getting back together, but she was still wounded which made him self-defensive, and so he pursued a relationship on the side that was easy aka Kerry, and Marcia doesn't care because Kerry's sort of nothing.

Rhea was a threat because Rhea was a cockroach too. She knew how to climb up the cracks and survive the bombs. We haven't seen a lot of Kerry, but she seems young and opportunistic, and like the type of woman who takes Logan at his word (like how she thought he'd remember his uti meds – we even have the direct parallel there with how much Marcia protected him after his stroke), so I think Marcia probably thinks Kerry's not much of anything but a passing fancy to an old man.

So yeah – I think she and Logan remain unaddressed. I think Marcia's priority was in securing her financial future, and that of her children, and obviously Logan's priority was in the picture of her back at his side, but I do think there's something real between them. It's just the wounds of them are festering, both together and apart, and they're both waiting for the other to press a salve to it that they never will.

Or maybe a better metaphor – they're not finished, but the book of them is lying open between them, and both are playing blind.

[edelegs]

so I have a very specific interpretation of the Edelgard/Hubert dynamic that I don’t think is particularly common, but I feel is worth sharing. This is largely because some people end up diminishing the importance of this relationship when pairing each of them with other people. It’s disappointing because I personally prefer these external ships (namely Edeleth and Ferdibert, for reasons I will make clear) but often see either Edelgard or Hubert reduced to some jealous, cuckoled cockblock in them. Honestly, that’s just . . . boring. 

(Long post under the cut)

TLDR: Edelbert is fascinating because it can be argued that Hubert’s feelings are born from guilt and shame rather than romantic love. This dynamic is unhealthy but deeply interesting, and it deserves to not be diminished in fan interpretations of these characters. 

Something that makes Edelgard so compelling is the fact that she’s full of contradictions. She can’t stand people/creatures with more power than humanly possible, yet she must use her own superhuman power and cooperate with what she despises to achieve her end goal. More specific to Edelbert, this end goal is equality, yet Edelgard is not allowed to be equal to anyone. She is a detached, untouchable princess who needs to learn how to meet her friends where they stand. It is through her connection to Byleth and to the other Black Eagles where she learns how to adapt her ideals to work in reality - and to be human. 

Unintentionally, Hubert does the opposite of this. His devotion to Edelgard began as an inherited role and evolved into something he does out of personal conviction. Either way, he is putting her on a pedestal and addressing her as a vassal rather than as a friend. Many of his supports with others involve him comparing them to Edelgard and telling them they’ll never reach her level. He takes it as his personal mission to protect her from those “unworthy” of talking to her. I don’t think this is intended to be selfish or malicious. I think that because of his role as her vassal and his failure to protect her from the Hresvelg experiments, he takes on this absolute devotion and prescribes it upon everyone else. 

Their relationship is unbalanced as a result. Edelgard makes constant reference to “fighting alone” and being prepared to end up isolated and maligned. The line “the solitary reign of Edelgard has come to an end” in her S-support is particularly telling. While she clearly views Hubert as someone important to her, she does not seem to view him as someone she can be fully open with. Hubert’s constant addressing of her as “Lady Edelgard” implies that he would not take the opportunity to call her “El” if it was presented to him. Edelgard and Hubert are both so caught up in the weight and scope of their revolution that they begin to enable each other’s bad tendencies. Hubert doesn’t dare challenge her, because he thinks of her as untouchable, and this devotion allows Edelgard to take him for granted. It is not a healthy relationship. I don’t think this is a particularly hot take. Their external supports are crucial for shifting these patterns of thought and allowing these characters to grow. 

What I think may be unpopular is this: I don’t think Hubert’s feelings for Edelgard are actually romantic. 

(For context, I am aro and just really hate m/f friends getting shoved together romantically. It may be easy to dismiss my thoughts as just me being bitter that we can’t have a m/f friend pair without one of them catching feelings but allow me to argue my point.) 

Hubert was assigned to Edelgard at a young age and told it was his house’s sacred duty to serve the Hresvelg family. He loathes his father for his involvement in the Insurrection of the Seven, which happened when he was ten. It goes without saying that this largely shapes his devotion to Edelgard. I would even say these events traumatized him to some degree. He mentions this in their A support, where he declares that his loyalty has been to her alone since she returned from the Kingdom. The path that these two share is informed and shaped by trauma - what Edelgard went through and Hubert’s powerlessness to stop it. More critically, these events radicalized them both and created the “shared vision” mentioned in his B support with Dorothea. 

That particular support jumps out to me. When I first played the game, I felt unbelievably validated by it. Hubert denies accusations of unrequited love in an edgily self-aware way (the line ”do I really look like the kind of drooling simpleton to have that kind of motivation?” made me literally cheer) and goes on to describe their relationship as walking the same path. He then highlights the qualities he feels towards Edelgard (gratitude, respect, awe, empathy, trust, and hope). None of these require romantic attraction. Dorothea then goes on to say that “loving another is really about wanting to be loved . . . I’m pretty sure that’s different from how things are with you and Edie”. This scene spoke a lot to my own experiences - my feelings for my best friend largely echo Hubert’s (though way less dramatic, of course) and I found the form of deep platonic love I feel for her reflected in that conversation. The acknowledgement on Dorothea’s part that it was different from romantic love (whether or not she truly believes it) is what blew me away. This is honestly one of the few times where a piece of media made me feel seen which makes me forever mad about the Edelbert A support.Though it could be argued that he’s just closed-off and could easily pull off lying about it, I know those feelings well. Others might see this as definitive proof of Hubert’s unrequited love for Edelgard, but I just can’t and I wanted to articulate this perspective because it means so much to me. Close, all-consuming, and important relationships can be platonic. 

I know better than to claim that the confession scene never happened. It is interesting to evaluate because it shows Edelgard finally calling attention to Hubert’s unknowing perpetuation of the gap between them. When Hubert states his feelings plainly, he is as composed as ever. Edelgard blushes and states that “you never cease to surprise me”. Hubert laughs this off, and that’s the end of that. It clearly is supposed to be a genuine love confession, but I think it’s more interesting to consider a man with only one real close friend misinterpreting his blind devotion towards her as love because he doesn’t really know what it is. I think it adds to the kind of fucked-up nature of their relationship (is it love or obsession? How is he supposed to know if a connection borne from trauma stems from love or guilt?). It also speaks to how difficult it is to identify romantic feelings when you’ve never truly felt them. 

That being said, I actually do ship Hubert with other people. I love Ferdibert because their personality clashes create a sense of mutual growth that helps Hubert learn to openly challenge Edelgard rather than subvert orders he disagrees with and it’s honestly just really funny. I also love Hubernie because the idea of a terrifying man and a girl who’s scared of everything learning to meet each other halfway shows similar character growth. I just think that for many years, Hubert’s devotion to Edelgard gave him a really fucked up understanding of human relationships, both romantic and platonic. There’s a tendency to erase the weight and importance of the Edelbert dynamic when both are shipped with other people as well as a great opportunity to show that strong platonic relationships can and should be perceived as equal to romantic ones. I have read so many Ferdibert things that suggest that their love is all-encompassing and Makes Them Whole. Wouldn’t it be more in-character to explore how they navigate the web of relationships in their lives? I love the Black Eagles’ interpersonal relationships so much and each one shapes the characters more and more. I’d love to see that reflected in ways that center platonic relationships! 

[lanxyuu]

I was rewatching Sayu's confession from Nagi no Asukara Episode 24 (as one does), and it made me realize how much potential that Kaname and Sayu had as a ship... and how much I wish that they actually had a meaningful bond beforehand :'((

Like, their personalities work so well together! Sayu's straightforward nature combined with her sharpness lets see through Kaname's passive, reserved demeanour that he always puts up. And finally seeing somebody with the insight and bluntness to actually call him out, and notice, his internal cycle of self-pity and bitterness and dejection is like... nice, and something that I think Kaname needed—especially considering how with his relationships with every other character in the show, the focus is rarely on him.

That "Stop acting like the tragic heroine!" and "Heroine? Not the hero?" exchange is one of my favourite moments from the confession honestly. Seeing Kaname's attitude and feelings finally being addressed? And through such a fun/witty but also direct remark? And his very in-character response of throwing in a joke about it, despite his feelings and situation? IT SHOWS BOTH OF THEIR CHARACTERS SO WELL AND IT'S SUCH AN CATHARTIC MOMENT AHHHHH

But it's not only that!! We've also seen that, despite her bluntness, Sayu's actually still pretty emotional. She's had quite strong emotional reactions throughout various points in the story (that fight with Miuna, seeing Kaname again for the first time, her outburst when they were discussing Manaka). Plus, she did act pretty shy and self-conscious around Kaname—overall showing that she does feel things strongly and gets influenced by her emotions.

So then with how calm, laidback, and levelheaded Kaname is, I can see him being the calm to mellow out and balance Sayu's intensity, the reassuring steadiness to her turbulence. This element is definitely similar to Kaname's dynamic with Chisaki, with him being the one to always comfort/console her—but with Sayu, she's still perceptive enough for this not to be just one-sided emotion dumping like it was with Chisaki and Kaname. And with her sharp tongue, she's still able to make responses back, which makes these types of interactions between the two of them more engaging and interesting to me.

Like this! He takes in her feelings, provides his own comfort in response, and you can see how she's overwhelmed by emotions as Kaname says he'll start seeing her as a girl his age, but still she responds with the quip of "You're pretty condescending, aren't you?"

And I just LOVE this type of dynamic as opposed to just crying, or flat emotional responses, you know? :""))) Being able to joke and banter amidst the heavy emotions... it just adds such a nice dimension to their dynamic.

And side note, I really like Kaname's response—he's not making any promises to her besides respecting her as a girl his age. Which is fair! This type of response feels so rare in romance anime (not that I watch a lot), and is pretty realistic, in my opinion. A "maybe". Get you a couple from a romance/drama anime who can handle confessions by responding reasonably and NOT running away in tears

And overall, the few moments of heart-to-heart we saw between the two of them during her confession showed a glimpse of SUCH a nice relationship.

[cont.]

Kaname: That big brother you admired is actually just a big kid.

Sayu: Don't go putting words in my mouth!

Like, there's just something about the... sheer sincerity of this, this mutual acknowledgement of the fact that they're both just kids (which is also a really nice touch/nod to the theme of their age difference, or lack of it now, after this and Kaname's response)... it makes me happy for them. This is probably the most open about his feelings that Kaname's been to anyone, the most he's shown the 14 year old boy inside that constant demeanour of maturity and composure he wears—that he was pushed to wear, living with Chisaki and Tsumugu, the literal adults that he had to find himself navigating alongside.

LOOK AT HIM

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN SUCH WARMTH IN HIS SMILE FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW. I'M SO HAPPY FOR HIM.

So anyways, yeah. I think Sayu and Kaname as a pair are amazing for both their personalities as well as the connection they made in this moment. But this brings me to my second thought about this, which is how much I wish that they actually had a meaningful bond before this moment :(

Because the significance of Sayu's confession to Kaname is so great—it was the first time he realized that somebody did care about him after all. But then I think about the fact that Sayu has feelings for Kaname... because he pet her head when she was 9? Like, her feelings obviously stemmed from an infatuation as a kid, one that lacked any real substance. They barely had any important interactions afterwards for the rest of the first half of the show.

And then after skipping forward 5 years, the fact that Sayu feels the exact same way, and the fact that her 9-year-old infatuation remained so strong that it became a factor motivating her to work hard in school? It just... I don't know, these feelings just feel so... baseless to me. Which makes me so sad! Because personality-wise they're such a good pair!

But as much as I want to suspend my disbelief to wholeheartedly love this ship, compared to Hikari x Manaka who've been close friends their entire lives, or Chisaki x Tsumugu who found support in each other through the 5 lonely timeskip years... it's hard for me to completely believe in Sayu's feelings beyond this childhood infatuation, you know? She talks about how because of him, she was able to work hard, so he wouldn't see her as just a little kid" and that "because of him, she was able to keep going". And her line "You were right here in my heart the entire time!"—as beautiful as it was—the fact that it's spurred on by a 9-year-old crush... I just can't fully immerse myself in it. And even though a long-lasting childhood crush isn't completely unrealistic, for a fictional story that's comprised of deliberate writing decisions, having it happen like this is something that I feel is unfortunate and just feels so much less meaningful than every other relationship in the show. I'm just glad that Kaname's response was reasonable and compelling, given the circumstances and his relationship with her in the moment. But if their bond had any build-up or meaningful moments, that would've been so much nicer imo.

But regardless, Kaname and Sayu as a ship are my favourite in the show, and even without what I wanted, I'm still glad that her confession happened. If you're here, thank you for reading! This anime really be leaving me with unresolved feelings nearly a decade later :")

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi!!❤️ So I was thinking about Leo’s route and realized he might actually be a yandere type character? What are your thoughts about that? Do you think he’s a yandere too?

Hiya~!❤️❤️❤️ 

As to my thoughts on Leonardo being a yandere, I don’t personally think that he is one? He appears to be the mature type, more of an indulgent deredere sort of deal. He is very emotionally defensive and can’t let anyone make sacrifices for him, but that’s not typically considered yandere in nature. I’d call it more a manifestation of unresolved trauma and nonexistent self-esteem issues he still needs to work through. It can make him a little unfair and a little forceful, but he never gets to the point where he absolutely decimates MC’s ability to live for herself or make her own judgement calls. If anything he wants her to put herself first to the point of personal self-harm. That’s the thing about his refusing to turn her in his rt; while that is controlling and wrong, there are also strong indications that MC deep down is terrified to become a vampire/rejects it herself? So I think that situation was more complicated.

Yandere’s are characterized by extreme behavior--often borderline murderous and violent--in order to maintain control/possession of the person they develop feelings for. Given Leonardo’s general track record, I don’t think this descriptor really fits him. Sure he retaliates at the end of his route but the context entailed protection from a serial killer. Even in the case of him seeking to walk into the door and follow her into the future, there was no possessive intent involved; rather he speaks to a concern that she stop sacrificing things to be with him.

Speaking of, that tends to be how I define the difference between normal love and more yandere behavior. Love tends to be more about healthy sacrifice, creating space for both people to reach each other on equal grounds (especially when it comes to creating a balance of power). Yanderes tend to be less interested in mutual give and take, and more obsessed with making sure the object of their affection can never leave them or want anyone else. They often want their S/O to rely on them for every need they could ever have, and make attempts to diminish or even sabotage their capacity to reach out to others/develop a healthy social environment.

That being said, it can be hard to define something based on what it is not, so I can offer who I think is a yandere in the game. So far the characters I see with this tendency in considerable enough measure to warrant the title are: Shakespeare, Charles, and Vlad. 

There will be some mild spoilers from future rts and JPN content, so I’m going to put it under a cut:

Given the connection between Shakespeare and Vlad, perhaps it is a little misleading to say Shakespeare is one of his own account. Even so, Shakespeare exhibits this behavior. From the CG in which he is holding manacles expressly to confine MC, to his active threatening to harm her in Vincent’s route (while one can argue it was protection, I see it only as a veiled expression of “If I can’t have you, nobody can”), to complicated instances within his own rt. Many may argue that it is not within his true nature, though my impression is that it is partially Vlad’s manipulation and partially his own predisposition. Iirc Cybird also slates him as the yandere of the game, so there’s a lot of evidence pointing to him being the biggest example of it.

Charles is a yandere but if I’m honest, he came as a surprise given his genki and generally upbeat attitude. Dazai’s route and a few of his stories in the JPN ver make it abundantly clear that his notion of love versus possession are a little confused. He pursues MC’s affections in Dazai’s route, but there’s plenty of evidence that he loves her for reasons that don’t really make a lot of sense? He knows nothing about her beyond her involvement with Vlad’s enemy, and goes to great lengths to seek out her attention/company. This escalates to the point where he openly agrees to help Dazai commit suicide for the sole purpose of “saving” MC from the despair of losing the man she’s fallen in love with. He even goes on to agree to murder Dazai in the past to answer that fervent need for her exclusive love. When MC comes to rescue Dazai, Charles is forced to confront the true nature of his feelings, and later develops what might be closer to the concept of real love for her.

Some of his event stories also indicate oddly manipulative behavior intended to guilt or sway MC into keeping all of her attention on him. Whether or not he will turn out to be a complete yandere I’m not sure, but he absolutely has the potential to sway heavily in that direction. He also, however, has the potential to ease toward more sincere, normal love--so his situation remains to be seen. There is also the fact that Vlad is manipulating him heavily with his mental compulsion, so as with Shakespeare I don’t always know how much of it is Charles or Vlad.

As for Vlad? I have...absolutely no defense or hope for this man. All I see is yandere. Granted I have not played his JPN main story so I don’t know what he’s like in love, but I have heard many indications as to his active manipulation of her mind and agency. I really don’t foresee any kind of equal relationship possible between him and the MC. There may be potential for that dynamic to be ironed out, but from the interactions I have seen--his fervent desperation to subjugate humanity and his near constant strangling of his sires’ freedom and self-determination--I sincerely doubt it would be possible for him. Even his turning MC into a vampire (which she indicated was something beyond her comfort zone/wishes in every other route) remains incredibly suspect to me. He is too self-obsessed and possessive to offer any kind of meaningful love.

While this may come as a surprise to many, Comte actually has a very slight yandere bent, but it would not be accurate to call him a yandere. The difference between Comte and Vlad is that Comte always sees these burgeoning desires within him and distances himself from being compelled to act on them to extremes. He admits to not wanting to share his MC with any of the men in the mansion, even though he’s well aware the house is like one big family; there’s no real risk to his love for her or necessity to be jealous. When MC gets hit on by another man and Comte finds out about Vlad interacting with her in his harmless florist persona, Comte gets uncharacteristically agitated. While usually measured and rational, his feelings tend to overtake him for a few minutes before he calms again--usually with reassurance of MC’s feelings for him. Furthermore Comte doesn’t usually exhibit the overwhelming violence and aggression that yanderes tend toward. And Comte doesn’t really limit her interactions with other people unless they are a sizable threat to her safety and well-being. The closest thing I can think of is his relentless buying her outfits as a means to appease his slightly possessive nature (adorning her in his colors), but even then when she tells him no he fully respects her wishes and stops. So he really only reflects potential for the sensibility, nothing concrete. In the end he’s still the more indulgent deredere type like Leonardo, just a little more balanced and possessive.

[ganymedesclock]

I kinda wanna hear your thoughts on NiGHTS, if you don't mind me asking. I just really like your speculation/headcanon posts!

I have great affection and great frustration for NiGHTS, honestly.

There’s a lot to love about the series. It’s got exquisite visuals and a really cool concept. While the gameplay isn’t completely my cup of tea, I think it’s a novel innovation. The designs of Nights and Reala, their bond and conflict, are really interesting and Wizeman’s a pretty impressive chunk of cosmic horror. I even feel like some of the dislike of Owl in JoD was unwarranted; yes, he was made the face of the slightly clumsy tutorial mechanism but it’s hard for me to not care a little that Nights, who is privately lonely in ways they seem disinclined to admit to anyone, clearly has some mutual fondness for this fussy bird dad.

But I definitely feel like the games have their problems- and I’ll focus here mostly on JoD because I feel like NiD itself was a pretty minimalist piece flying more on emotion than deep lore and it was successful in that regard.

I feel like JoD in particular struggled to decide if this was a story about Nights and Reala or a story about Will and Helen, and while they could’ve made room for both, it would’ve required more integration than they pulled off, and it ultimately weakens both narratives. 

Nights never really meaningfully reaches a conclusion with Reala. They get angry enough to hurt him, feel bad about it, Reala goes on to take their new friends hostage, and Nights gets angry again and, seemingly, finishes Reala off, either personally, or indirectly because their attempt to kill Wizeman would affect Reala too. Even the nature of their sacrifice is hampered here because they don’t really sell us on what it is about Will and Helen that makes things so different. I take issue with the short-lived archie Nights’ comic’s invention about the “two perfect dreamers born once a century” but it at least explains all the hullabaloo about these specific people. I don’t mean that to be callous- but there has to be a reason Nights makes their stand here and now, even if it’s for internal reasons rather than Will and Helen, and we don’t get a sense of why that is.

Will and Helen themselves have the seeds of interesting or compelling problems, but they aren’t really brought home either. The conclusions they make don’t really feel of a piece with the nature of their issues. We don’t really find out what about Helen is ‘fragile’, and you have to read into things to see the contrast between Will’s lonely, ‘abandoned playground’-like second dream and the vibrant potential of his third dream, this fear that if you can’t grow up people will leave you behind in childhood.

JoD takes from its roots in NiD that it is good at evoking emotions. Many of the ‘major beat’ cutscenes land with really impressive intensity and evocative qualities! I can vividly call to mind Nights and Reala’s argument in Delight City or Reala circling Helen menacingly in Memory Forest. 

But I feel like the devil’s in the details. Frustratingly often for me, these vibrant splashes of story were followed up by, like... hey kids, it’s time to chase Octopaw around in circles again! This is in-universe and out a completely pointless exercise! Let’s save some Nightopians from Wizeman, never once examining or explaining what Wizeman wants with them!

I try not to gripe too hard on Wizeman’s inscrutability because he as a character at least resonates with it- that he’s only a handful of ominous details in the dark actually kind of works for his character and the jawdropping beauty of the Unconscious Space and Will and Helen’s respective leaps of faith into the sea of darkness is contrasted by a profound sense of unease. Why is this space simultaneously so real and unreal? If Nights lands on a real-world building at the end of the game, sure, they’re alive, but is that a good thing, if they’re inextricably connected to Wizeman and Wizeman seems to be clawing at the veil between dream and waking?

Again, this is not a frustration of I hate these games. It’s a frustration of, I really love these games, but they feel like a vivid concept padded into existence with inconsistent flesh where the most interesting workings of both worlds- the real world emotional problems, and the dream world’s politics and potential fate under Wizeman’s onslaught- struggle because they’re ramming into each other at cross purposes rather than intertwining and facilitating/shoring each other up. There is some unbelievably premium good shit in NiD and JoD both but the experience of those glorious moments is undercut with the disappointment of going straight from that, to, octopaw. Nights do you wanna talk to Owl about how you unhealthily use harassing this octopus as a way to run away from serious emotional talks? No?

All of this has been a big reason why I’m looking forwards to Balan Wonderworld eagerly, because, Balan Wonderworld seems to be doing the spirit of what NiGHTS was as a series, and directly answering some of the problems of JOD. The human-side dynamics are spiced up with the chapters each having their own stars-of-the-day, and we’re digging into more raw emotional territory than stage fright or a nebulous insecurity growing up- just the three released so far are dealing with unexpected catastrophe bringing ruin to months of hard work, an accident leading to medical problems and a sense of betrayal, and the ‘pettiest’ problem, interpersonal rejection, is easily the most heartbreaking because it showcases how little self-confidence that afflicted person had. 

Balan’s more mature position as a maestro and a hands-off sort of narrator figure while Leo and Emma take center stage means that I don’t mind as much when the kids get focus- in JoD, while Will and Helen were kids, Nights seemed like a teenager who was disconcertingly willing to throw themselves under the bus for friends they met yesterday and this wasn’t really framed as a bad thing. With Balan, I feel like even if Balan does at some point in the narrative sacrifice himself to advance Leo and Emma, it’d play to very different tropes- the removal of the magic feather or mentor, as a lesson you have to fly on your own.

(and, Balan is an integral part of the Wonderworld itself, and I have reason to suspect Lance would have a vested interest not fully ‘removing’ him even if they at some point separated him from Leo and Emma)

The kids themselves are also shored up in terms of intrigue. I’m really excited for square enix’s involvement, because they’ve produced a few stories that dig at emotions, and taking characters from the stock of, say, Neku and Shiki from World Ends With You, who Leo and Emma have passing resemblance to (a boy who lost a friend and became disillusioned and closed off, a girl who’s ebullient and sociable and more than a little insincere in it, hiding an insecure, lonely core) I think this is very promising.

That doesn’t mean I am abandoning all love for the NiGHTS series or that I think it’s garbage compared to Balan Wonderworld, especially since they have different themes and motifs and one isn’t even out yet, but I think that it’s interesting how, to my eye, the Wonderworld game seems like a sort of continuation or refinement upon JoD- that NiGHTS in some ways seems to be an inspiration bedrock for this new theater adventure.

Ultimately even if Balan Wonderworld is everything I hope for and more, there’s always going to be a place in my heart for NiGHTS, though. (I mean, hell, Nights themselves was an instrumental force in me figuring out my own relationship with gender.) 

(and, once the game DOES come out, I feel like I’m certainly not the only one who’s gonna want to write crossover fic.)

TL;DR I love the nightmare jesters from the absolute bottom of my heart but I just wish we had a little more plot to squeeze loose.

[randomfandomimagine]

End Of The Year Faves

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

I was tagged by @myriadimagines and @musicallisto, thank you, lovelies!

10. Zack Fair (FFVII) gif imagine

I really love this one because it’s like the definition of short and sweet. It’s adorable, warm and I think I got Zack’s characterization pretty well and I often reread it when I need a smile. I just love my boy Zack and how this little thing turned out.

9. Connor (DBH) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you”)

The reason I love this one it’s because I wrote it as one of my favorite things to write: a character study. I tried to express Connor’s struggle as he develops feelings for the reader and how conflicted he would be to have fallen in love with someone, having developed such a human thing as feelings. One of the many reasons why I love Connor is because of his arc in the game, because of how guilty he feels for becoming deviant despite being the very android that hunts them, it just gets to me. I’m just really glad that I could explore that in this prompt and that I managed to show it properly as well as make this more angsty, since my specialty is usually fluff.

8. Yennefer (Witcher) prompt (”I shouldn’t be in love with you” “Are you jealous?” “I’m so scared”)

This is the only Yennefer request I’ve ever gotten (besides one for a dating would include that I had already written), and I had so much fun writing it! Yennefer has appeared in my Witcher writings a lot, but never as a main character and never as a love interest, so that’s why this was so cool! I think she’s a very interesting character, so I really enjoyed getting the chance to explore her personality. I love how it turned out because I think it’s the perfect balance between her being sly and also being loving and showing her feelings for the reader. 

7. Too Nice (John Ambrose McClaren, TATBILB ficlet)

John Ambrose is another character I really like writing for. What can I say? I fell in love with him and it was great to write something for him. This is somewhere between love and almost hate, with a lot of misunderstandings and complex feelings that ultimately lead to a happy fluffy ending. He’s just the sweetest and it was curious to write his reactions to someone who doesn’t always respond well to his kindness, even if because it flusters them.

6. Special (Howl Pendragon, HMC ficlet)

And yet another character I love. It was a bit hard settling on just one version of the character, because I love both the movie and book versions, so I tried to make it a little bit of both... even if this Howl is more suave and charming like in the movie rather than the absolute endearing disaster that book Howl is. Still, I always have fun getting other characters involved with the reader and their love interest, so I loved adding Calcifer and Marko to the mix. As well as the cute interactions Howl and reader have, I love the ending in which he hints at the fact that the reader unlocked something in his heart that he didn’t think was possible.

5. Kind (Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad ficlet)

I don’t often get to write about Jesse, so this was awesome! Peekaboo was one of my favorite episodes and it was amazing to get to explore it. While it’s not perfect, I really like how the connection between Jesse and reader turned out, how kind (:D) he is and patient and respectful, and I think I also poured a lot of emotion to the reader with that background.

4. Separated (Zuko, ATLA ficlet)

By this point, it’s obvious that I’m more proud of ficlets (because they’re longer and take more planning and more time and effort) and about characters I love because I think the passion I have for them is more obvious. I wrote this one right when I was watching ATLA because I loved (and still love) Zuko so much. It’s sort of a character study as well (it’s established that I adore writing them) and I��m so glad that I had the idea of getting Iroh involved because he’s awesome. This ficlet just has a lot of pining and repressed emotions that come out in the end and I love it.

3. Weight On His Shoulders (PS4 Peter Parker ficlet)

This one if pretty recent, as I wrote it after beating the game myself. This game is just awesome, and this is my favorite representation of Peter ever. He’s cute, charming, nerdy, loving, kind, a bit awkward and just everything that Peter and Spidey should be (at least for me). I wanted to represent both his personas in this one, and I like the balance I achieved with it as well as the emotions, the pining, the secret identity and in the end the understanding of the reader. The part with Spidey saving reader is great and I’m very happy with how reader is prepared to confront him about it once they learn he’s Spiderman only to change their mind when they see how much it’s weighing on him so they decide to relax with him for a bit.

2. Reunion (Cloud Strife, FFVII ficlet)

I’ve written a lot of things for this fandom this year because I was super inspired after beating the remake with my brother, I loved it (honorable mentions to Heal My Heart and Stars In Your Eyes, two other ficlets that I wrote and I’m very proud of). Cloud has always been one of my favorite characters, and in this one I got to examine a side of him I usually don’t. Not only does this ficlet include Zack Fair (another one of my favorite characters) but it also goes along with an idea I had been thinking about for a long time of a female reader pretending to be a boy to get into SOLDIER and becoming friends with them, but it also shows Cloud as the meeker and shy boy he is in Crisis Core. It was so cool to write about him back then and after once he had joined AVALANCHE. His relationship with the reader was also bittersweet because of their past and it’s just so complex and emotional that I love it, especially their reunion at the end.

1. Soul of a Warrior (Jaskier x Nissa, The Witcher Fanfiction Series). This was a big project, as series always are. I spent several months planning and plotting the story and even more months writing it, and also revising it once it was finished before posting it. I put so much effort, love and time into this series that it absolutely had to be number one. Soul of a Warrior is probably the thing I’m most proud of (that I have written) in 2020. 

As most of you know (my mutuals definitely do, as they have gifted me amazing things with him), Jaskier is probably the character I fangirled the hardest about this year. I wrote many things for him (the ficlet What Would You Do Without Me? deserves another honorable mention because it’s probably my favorite thing I’ve written this year along with the series) and working on each of them has brought me so much serotonin. Jaskier is just such an amazing character, loving and compassionate but cheeky and selfish while at the same time being charming, optimistic, bubbly, extroverted and a huge flirt. So many layers!

But back to the series... Soul of a Warrior had one of the best faceclaims I’ve found, the sweetest friendship between my OC Nissa and Geralt and the slowest of burns romances with Jaskier. Him and Nissa are very similar in some aspects, so much so that they’re both too blind to realize the other’s feelings (idiots to lovers, am I right?) but they care so much about one another. The three of them were strangers, but they become family (found family, another one for the fandom bingo!) and I’m the proudest of how real and organic their relationship feels. Not to mention that their dynamic was super fun to write because Geralt is the only one that knows they’re in love and is so fed up and exasperated with their obliviousness. As well as this, I think I managed to mix action, emotion and depth really well. My secondary OCs feel more alive than others before them, Nissa was pretty complex and coherent and had a true voice of her own, and their part on the story feels important. There are tense moments, cute ones, sad ones, tragic ones... a little bit of everything. I think this one as a lot more angst and whump because I was in a bit of a dark place when I wrote it, but it still has hope and light in it, which I really love. The series also has a lot more violence than what I’m used to, but it was interesting to get out of my comfort zone a bit. 

Overall, not only do I think it’s fun to read, compelling, funny and emotional all at once, I’m just very proud that I managed to write something a little different from what I usually do and feel like I did it well. I put a big part of me in this series and for that reason Soul of a Warrior will always have a special place in my heart 💜

That it’s, sorry if I ranted a bit! I tag anyone who wants to do this!! 

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 6: Shyvana

I’ll be honest: before doing the research to write this script, even I had no idea how complicated the history of Shyvana’s character was. Counting her current lore state, Shyvana has had no less than five different bios over the course of her existence, putting her in the same league as Warwick in terms of retcons. While I personally think that her current lore state is relatively fine as-is, there are definitely some aspects of her story that could use a little polishing up.

As always, though, we need to first take a look at Shyvana’s history in League and see what the core of her character concept is. With that established, we can try and build a more solid foundation for Runeterra’s resident half-dragon. So, without further ado, let’s see how she was originally envisioned in her very first bio.

Alright, so, Shyvana is a straight up human-dragon hybrid, conceived through… Well, the traditional means. I do think it’s interesting to note that this is actually the first mention of Celestial Dragons we get in the lore. Apparently, the concept for Aurelion Sol goes back all the way to the early days, though I doubt Celestial Dragons were anything like what we know them as today. Hard to say, given that this was the only mention of that entire subspecies in the old lore.

But, enough beating around the bush. As a whole, I think this bio is fine, all things considered. It leaves a lot of unanswered questions, sure, but it’s a decent basis to build her character off of. Most importantly, this bio establishes Shyvana’s connection to Jarvan IV: something that has remained consistent through every iteration of her character. While Warwick’s ties to Soraka were constantly fluctuating and eventually severed in his recent bio, Shyvana’s relationship to the Demacian prince is something all her future incarnations would carry over. Speaking of, let’s check out her second bio and see how her first retcon was handled.

So, Shyvana’s no longer Celestial in nature, which is probably for the best given that her element was always aligned more with fire than space. What’s more, it’s now established that half-dragons like her are hated by both humans and dragon-kind. Also, apparently most, if not all dragons can shape-shift now. Frankly, there are still a few mysteries left by this bio, such as who killed Shyvana’s father and what even happened to her mother. Still, it’s not awful, though Riot apparently decided that they wanted to give her a more active role rather than just being saved by Prince Jarvan. Thus, do we receive her third bio.

Alright, so once again, no real mention of Shyvana’s mother, and her father’s identity is still kinda vague. By this point, another recurring theme of Shyvana’s story should be evident: tragedy. Riot seems quite insistent on giving her the whole dead parent trope for her backstory, yet that’s never REALLY brought up in her character besides a single voice line: “By the blood of my father, I will end them!” Once again, we know nothing beyond the fact that her father was a dragon and her mother was inhuman. It might also be worth noting that no mention of shape-shifting is present in this version of the story, so… Take that how you will.

Still, I like this story because it helps to better establish a bond between Shyvana and J4, having them fight together to bring down a mutual enemy. This, in turn, turns the initial concept of Jarvan merely saving her out of pity to a relationship born of mutual respect. This was Shyvana’s backstory when I started playing League, and so this is the version of the character that I grew most familiar with. Still, Riot would retcon her again after the 2015 reboot, leaving us with her fourth bio. Buckle in folks, because this one is the longest by a landslide and there’s a LOT to go over here.

Phew! OK, that was a LOT to take in. Frankly, you could make an entire analysis about this version of the lore alone, but let’s just go over some of the major talking points, shall we? For the first time, Shyvana is no longer the offspring of a human and a dragon, but rather the result of a human using magic on a dragon egg. The reason for this direction is most likely because dragons in Runeterra can no longer shapeshift, so they needed to find a new way to justify her existence.

Once again, we touch upon the Vastaya Problem, where we have an entire race of half-human creatures that Shyvana could have easily been slotted into. Would the existence of dragon vastaya really be that much of a stretch, Riot? Well, I already harped on about that quite a bit with Warwick, so let’s just move on, shall we?

The fourth version of Shyvana’s bio is the first time in which her mother actually takes a prominent role: that of an antagonist. Yvva is actually pretty compelling as a villain, antagonizing Shyvana all her life while her father tries to protect her. The one major issue I have with this is that, if Shyvana’s dad knew about Demacia and that its petricite could conceal his daughter, why did he not think to bring Shyvana there sooner? I suppose he needed to train her to control her power first, but could the petricite not have also helped with that? Oh well. That’s a bit of a nitpick in the grand scheme of things, I admit.

The other major change here is that now the dynamic between Jarvan and Shyvana has been changed once again. Now, SHE is the one saving HIM, a complete reverse of the original story. While I don’t exactly have a problem with this, I do think Jarvan agreeing to help her fight Yvva comes off as a bit abrupt, and the Demacian soldiers seemed a bit too ready to accept her into their home. I mean, yes, she saved their prince, but fear of magic is rooted DEEP into their society. This is the same nation that would rather let entire fields succumb to disease and rot than rely on mages to sustain the crops.

While there are some other small issues I could nitpick about, I honestly think that the way they handle Jarvan and Shyvana’s team-up is the biggest by far. For a little context: Jarvan’s whole backstory is one of repentance. He gets cocky and tries to retake some land from the control of Noxus without the sanction of the king, and his recklessness and inexperience wind up getting his men killed and himself gravely injured. This is what leads to him being found and saved by Shyvana.

Though Shyvana’s bio would be rewritten one more time, the way in which she and Jarvan meet and team up to take on Yvva remains more-or-less the same. Frankly, I’m not a big fan of this. I like the idea in concept, but the fact is that Yvva isn’t really Jarvan’s antagonist. She is a threat to Demacia and Jarvan does redeem himself by helping to bring her down at Wrenwall, but it feels more like he’s just jumping in to help Shyvana deal with HER problem out of gratitude.

That being said, this is an analysis about SHYVANA’S character, so let’s take a look at her fifth and final bio to determine her current lore state, shall we?

Alright, so I’ll be honest: I think this might be the worst version of her story so-far. To begin with, it’s not even really clear WHY Shyvana is the way she is. At least the previous version of the lore made it clear that a human mage tampering with the egg is the reason why Shyvana became a half-dragon, but in this story, the baby mutates just because of his proximity? Even then, that may not even be the cause. “Whether it was the act of removing it from the nest, or the last moon of autumn giving way to winter, something had changed.” So, yeah, it’s even really clear what caused Shyvana to take on human qualities.

Also, can we just acknowledge another bizarre line from this bio? “From an early age, she was able to shift her form into something monstrous, akin to the half-dragons of ancient myth.” So, hold on, there have been half-dragons before Shyvana? This is something that’s occurred in the past? Can we get some elaboration on this? No? We’re just going to ignore that. Alright then. Moving on.

This version of the bio tries to reintroduce the tragedy of Shyvana losing her father, but it’s honestly handled a lot less gracefully here, in my opinion. He’s just a random human mage that decided to raise her out of pity, and his death is kind of pathetic, honestly. In the previous lore, Shyvana’s dragon father gave his life defending her, whereas this nameless mage is just killed unceremoniously in Yvva’s rampage. Even his burial feels rushed and anticlimactic.

As for Jarvan’s introduction this time, well… My prior thoughts still stand. Shyvana’s lore has always been connected to his, but I truly believe their relationship was handled best in the third version of the lore, where they had a mutual enemy to bring down. Hell, he doesn’t really even do much in the showdown against Yvva other than have his soldiers fire arrows. It all feels like a hyper-condensed version of Shyvana’s fourth bio, which is understandable given how long it was, but a story like this kind of needs to be properly fleshed out if we’re meant to actually CARE about the individual story beats.

 So, with all that said and established, let’s get into the meat of this one, shall we? Without further ado, I present to you all: my reinterpretation of Shyvana’s backstory. Please, enjoy.

Among the many breeds of dragon that inhabit Runeterra, few command as much fear and respect as the rare elemental drakes. Though they command the primal magics of the world itself, elemental drakes are be reclusive creatures, typically lashing out only when their territory is disturbed. For this reason, the lands near Nockmirch remained untouched by mortal settlements for centuries, as all knew the name of the beast who ruled them: Yvva, the fire drake.

For years, Yvva inspired tales of terror and reverence alike, feasting on travelers and traders who dared to intrude upon her lands. Even her mate, Urgrin, feared Yvva’s power and fiery temper. Unbeknownst to Yvva, Urgrin was no ordinary dragon: in truth, he was a member of an ancient vastayan tribe with the power to take on draconic form. As his kind dwindled in number, what few of Urgrin’s people remained scattered to the winds, with Urgrin himself maintaining his draconic form constantly in the hopes of finding a strong partner.

At first, Urgrin believed himself fortunate to partner with an elemental drake, but as their clutch of eggs began to hatch, he felt himself growing increasingly worried. Only one of these younglings bore Yvva’s primal fire, meaning that the rest would likely be discarded or eaten. When the final egg hatched, Urgrin was shocked to find not a dragon youngling, but a girl with purple skin and horns. He’d not thought it possible, but this child was vastayan just as he was, and her birth would expose Urgrin’s secret to Yvva.

Fearing for both his life and girl’s, Urgrin fled the under the cover of night. Resuming his vastayan form for the first time in decades, Urgrin took shelter in the northern mountains, hoping that the cold of the Freljord would deter Yvva’s pursuit. There, he raised his daughter in secret, naming her Shyvana out of his lingering respect for her mother.

For a time, Shyvana and Urgrin lived in relative solitude. Urgrin taught Shyvana all about her vastayan heritage, but as she grew, it became apparent that Shyvana had inherited something from her mother as well: the primal elemental magic of a fire drake. Urgrin spent years teaching Shyvana how to harness her rage, hoping to keep his daughter from succumbing to the same fiery temperament as her mother. Though this training seemed effective at first, Shyvana’s power only grew with time. This power, in-turn, became a beacon, luring Yvva to the far north in pursuit of her stolen child and traitorous mate.

One day, as Shyvana was returning from a hunt, she was shocked to find her house ablaze. Two great dragons clashed in the skies above, one of whom she instantly recognized as her father. Shyvana tried to join the fight, only for Yvva to turn her wrath on the half-blood child. Urgrin shielded Shyvana from his mother’s fury, astonishing even Yvva with his strength. Even so, Urgrin was clearly losing the fight, and so he bid Shyvana to flee south to a land called Demacia, where petricite walls could dampen her magic and shield her from Yvva’s wrath. Begrudgingly, Shyvana did as told, trekking through the mountains as her father gave his life on her behalf.

After a long, hard trek, Shyvana finally reached the land her father spoke of: Demacia, a kingdom made of petricite. She quickly found herself an outcast, forced to hide from the magic-fearing humans that lived inside petricite walls. And yet, just as her father said, those same walls served to dim her power and hide Shyvana from her mother’s fury. Even still, Yvva would not relent so easily.

For years, Yvva scorched Demacian settlements near the border in search of her daughter, forcing the Shyvana to remain constantly on the move. Hunted by her mother and persecuted by the people around her, Shyvana found herself utterly alone in the world. Finally, after years of dogged pursuit, Shyvana had had enough. Embracing her inner fire, Shyvana took flight on blazing wings and ascended the mountains near Nockmirch, where she found Yvva waiting for her.

The two drakes clashed for hours, primal flame against primal flame. Their battle charred the nearby plains and melted stone, yet for all her ferocity, Shyvana was ultimately no match for her mother’s fury. Yvva sent her daughter plummeting into a nearby river, content to leave her half-breed daughter to drown. As Yvva fled, however, Shyvana dragged herself out of the water, reverting back to her humanoid form as she gasped for breath. Battered and beaten, Shyvana wandered blindly for days, knowing full-well that her mother would likely come for her again soon.

Eventually, Shyvana encountered a young man in charred armor at the base of the Argent Mountains, who himself looked to be barely clinging to life. She learned that this man, too, had sought to challenge Yvva and lost. His soldiers had sacrificed themselves on his behalf, leaving the young man stranded and alone. Sensing an unusual kinship with this stranger, Shyvana offered to bring him to the nearest Demacian settlement, and to her surprise, the stranger agreed. Even after revealing herself to be Yvva’s daughter, the stranger bore her no hostility.

The people of Cloudfield were not so inviting. At first, many were terrified of Shyvana, and yet their fear turned to elation when they realized who her companion was. This man, she learned, was none-other than the prince of Demacia himself: Jarvan IV. Seeking to end Yvva’s reign of terror on his kingdom’s borders, the prince had set out with a handful of elite soldiers, only to return to home in shame and defeat. For coming to his aid, the people of Cloudfield begrudgingly allowed Shyvana to remain amongst them to heal her wounds while the prince .

Though grateful for their hospitality, Shyvana knew her presence would only draw Yvva to her sooner or later. As she made to depart, Shyvana was approached by Jarvan once again, this time with a proposition: alone, they had failed to defeat the fire drake, but together they may stand a chance.

Jarvan and Shyvana traveled to the fortress of Wrenwall, where they began to develop a plan. Jarvan would organize his troops and set traps in place for Yvva, while Shyvana flew ahead to garner her mother’s attention. Though reluctant to place her faith in these mere humans, Shyvana understood that this would be her final chance to avenge her father. Sure enough, when Shyvana neared Nockmirch once more, Yvva’s furious cry shook the heavens themselves as she began her pursuit.

Once again, the fire drakes clashed, but this time Shyvana wasn’t planning to defeat her mother with raw force. Instead, she led Yvva closer and closer to the fortress of Wrenwall, where Jarvan and his soldiers were waiting. Believing her daughter’s retreat an act of cowardice, Yvva was taken totally off-guard by the volley of petricite bolts launched from the fortress’s ballista. As the bolts tore into her scales, Yvva felt her power weakening, and Shyvana was quick to capitalize on this. Once again, their battle was intense, yet Shyvana now had the upperhand as Jarvan himself led a new battalion into the fray.

Even weakened, Yvva fought hard until her last breath. She tore at her daughter’s scales and devoured Demacian soldiers, yet in the end, the fire drake was outnumbered and outmatched. Shyvana sank her teeth into her mother’s neck while Jarvan plunged a spear deep into her forehead. In that moment, the flames of Yvva finally flickered out, and the soldiers of Wrenwall cheered in triumph.

In the aftermath of the battle, Jarvan approached Shyvana once again, this time with another proposition: in exchange for her loyalty, he would offer her a place among Demacia’s elite. Awed and humbled by the prince’s might and valor, Shyvana knelt and swore her loyalty on the spot. Though many still harbor doubts about the half-dragon, she serves her prince with undying devotion and respect. Shyvana’s fire burns for Demacia and Demacia alone, and those who threaten her new home are to learn that even a half-dragon’s fury is not to be trifled with.

Alright, so, the biggest and most notable change from the get-go: I made Shyvana vastayan rather than human. I understand that this might seem a bit controversial to some, but it doesn’t really contradict or change anything. Shyvana is simply called the half-dragon; there’s never any mention of what her other half actually is.

Ideally, I would have liked to keep her half-human as well, but since Riot clearly wants to remove the concept of dragon-human intercourse to produce an offspring naturally, the only option that remains is the contrived method of “it happens because a human was near the egg.” Like, that’s the same sort of logic as Rengar becoming anthropomorphic because he was raised by a human hunter as a cub. It’s just silly, if we’re being honest, and the human “father” in Shyvana’s last two bios has been such a non-entity that they don’t really even bother to give him a name.

So yes, I’m making Shyana half-vastayan, not unlike Sett in a way. Again, I get why some might take issue with this, but I feel like that’s a much easier and simpler route to go with. Of course, the other big change would mean rewriting a bit of Jarvan’s story as well, though that’s kind of inevitable; the two are so closely intwined that changing one story kind of has to impact the other.

Now, I don’t think J4’s current bio is bad enough to warrant a full rewrite, but as I stated before: I think his story would work a lot better if he also had a personal reason to fight Yvva in the first place. I think that having him lose soldiers to her rather than some random Noxians fits more thematically and gives him more reason to team up with Shyvana. I also wanted to give him a bigger role to play in bring Yvva down, to further emphasize that she’s an opponent Jarvan and Shyvana could only defeat by working together.

Overall, Shyvana’s current lore state isn’t the worst I’ve seen, but it could definitely do with some improvements. I hope you all enjoyed my take on her character, as this was possibly the lengthiest retcon to write. As always, though, feel free to share your thoughts down below, and I’ll see you all next time!

[thevampirediariesdiary]

I was pretty out of sorts with Stefan this episode.  he’s been nervously aware of the fact of his being positioned in a love triangle before, of course; he’s been jealous and insecure and resentful, but I’ve never been quite so angry at the way he handled it as I was during “Dangerous Liaisons”.

so, naturally, I did a casual scroll through some old episode recaps, which turned into a not-so-casual scan of a handful of episode transcripts, and what I ended up with was a non-exhaustive collection of conversations demonstrating the development of the Salvatore brothers’ relationship, especially as regards their mutual love of specifically Elena.  the emphasis is strongly on Stefan’s side of the triangle, because if you wanted to read about Damon pining longingly for Elena while she was clinging to Stefan, you could just read *waves hand vaguely and expansively* the entire rest of my blog.

the first real sparks of jealousy begin to appear after Damon and Elena’s trip to Atlanta in “Bloodlines”.  

we get various exchanges in “Unpleasantville” as Damon’s presence in Stefan’s life, near Stefan’s girlfriend grates on Stefan:

S: Putting Elena in harm’s way, that is my concern. D: What are you talking about? S: I’m talking about Atlanta. D: Oh yeah. Elena and I had a blast. S: I get it, you’re just bitter that one of us gets to be with the person they love, and poor Katherine’s just out of reach.   

D: Why should I trust you? S: Because I’m your brother. D: No, that’s not gonna cut it. S: Because I want you gone.

S: It was a lie.  I let him believe he could trust me. E: Why would you be worried about telling me? S: Because he can be persuasive, and you two have…bonded…lately.  E: That doesn’t mean I trust him.  It’s gonna take a lot more than just a road trip and a rescue for me to forget who Damon is and everything he’s done.  

which leads to the infamous-to-me “you and I will have a vampire girlfriend” exchange one episode later in “Children of the Damned”:

D: Course I was gonna do it by myself, because the only one I can count on is me.  You made sure of that years ago, Stefan.  But you [Elena]...you had me fooled.  So what are you gonna do now?  Because if you try to destroy that I’ll rip her heart out. S: You won’t kill her. D: I can do one better.  Give me the book, Stefan, or I’m snapping her neck, and you and I will have a vampire girlfriend. S: Let her go first. D: The book.  S: I’m not gonna give this to you until she’s standing next to me. D: The problem is I no longer trust that you’ll give it back! S: You just did the one thing that ensures that I will.  

then Elena crosses the picket line to help Damon in “Fool Me Once”, Damon again calls her “our girlfriend” in “A Few Good Men”, and subsequently ends up back in the doghouse for killing Isobel and then gloating about it.

so for this whole first era of the show, the tension between these three characters is pretty straightforward.  Stefan doesn’t like Damon hanging around Elena - but that’s (at least ostensibly) because he’s dangerous, because he’s unpredictable, because he puts her in bad situations.  he tries to compel her.  he tries to kill her friends.  he grabs her and threatens to turn her vampiric.  Damon might already love Elena, on some level, at this point - but it’s still not exactly a love triangle, because neither Stefan nor Elena seems to suspect - or, even if they suspect there’s something, they’d never call it love.  there is no way in which Elena’s torn, no way in which she has to make a choice.  her connection with both brothers is an asset.

this starts to change in the second era of the show, after the watershed moment of “Miss Mystic Falls”.  Stefan falls from grace, Damon’s perspective on vampirism and on Stefan’s relationship with it is validated, and Damon and Elena waltz and then shack up together.  when Stefan comes back to himself, it’s to a brave new world, and to Isobel’s bombshell, “because he’s in love with you”, which gives us the first real jealous boyfriend speech in “Isobel”:

S: Well, I know that you and Elena have bonded, and I know that she cares about you. And, uh, I know that you care about her. D: Well, this is going in an interesting direction. S: I’m just concerned about Elena getting hurt. She considers you a friend.  D: Same here, Elena’s a very good friend. Actually, she might qualify as my only friend. Is that a problem? S: So, at the risk of sounding like a jealous boyfriend... D: Oh there’s no risk. You do.  S: History will not be repeating itself where Elena is concerned. 

Stefan lays it down like a proclamation, like an order - as if by telling Damon what he wants he can control the whole picture, because if history were to repeat itself, it would invariably be Damon’s fault.  so much so, in fact, that he doesn’t approach Elena with his worries at all.  Elena has to bring them up herself in “Founders Day”:

S: I try so hard to hate him. I guess it’s just pointless.  E: You care about him. So do it. But I love you Stefan. And I know that you’re worried about that.  S: Nah, I just, I know my brother.  E: But I love you, Stefan.  S: I know the trouble he can cause.  E: I love you, Stefan, you. You have nothing to worry about. 

and that may be true, on Elena’s side, but we find it absolutely isn’t on Damon’s.  he tries to kiss Elena, and now we get a whole new flavor of jealousy from Stefan - one which Stefan is, to his credit, actively trying to fight against.  he knows that he and Damon have to present a unified front against all the forces of evil if they’re ever going to be able to protect Elena. 

S: Katherine’s gonna try to play us against each other, you know that right?  So yes, as much as I would like to kill you, I’m not gonna fight you.  D: I kissed Elena.  S: Because you feel something for her. Because you actually care. And I’m not going to let Katherine come in here and destroy that part of you that after all this time is finally willing to feel something. 

Stefan chooses to allow Damon’s love for his girlfriend in the hopes that it will have positive effects: Elena’s safety, brotherly agreement, Damon’s regained humanity.  this attitude persists through "The Return” into the latter half of the season when the non-Katherine threat is looming, though the choice is perhaps made a little simpler by Damon having screwed things up so spectacularly with Elena.  what does it matter if Damon loves Elena, when Elena hates him?  there is no threat there.  thus, Stefan’s much more casual approach to the subject in “Rose”:

S: We both know you being in this car has absolutely nothing to do with me anyway. D: And the elephant in the room lets out a mighty roar. S: Well, it doesn’t have to be an elephant!  You know, let’s talk about it! D: Nothing to talk about. S: That’s not true, sure there is.  Let’s get it out: are you in this car because you want to help your little brother save the girl he loves, or is it…is it because you love her too? Come on, express yourself!  I happen to like road trip bonding. D: Keep it up, Stefan. I could step out of helping as easily as I stepped in. S: Nope, that's the beauty of it.  You can't.

even when Stefan is trapped with Katherine in “The Sacrifice”, he gracefully hands over Elena’s protection to Damon:

S: Promise me whatever happens you'll protect her. D: Promise.

Katherine’s response to this, of course, is to tell Stefan, “That right there was the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.”  and yet, it’s a choice he keeps making.  Damon is on Elena duty.  there’s that excellent moment in “The Last Dance” wherein Stefan, dancing with Elena, signals to Damon and then twirls Elena into his brother’s arms, and leaves.  he places Elena into Damon’s care, again and again, and he never seems to regret it - until after the dance Damon verbalizes for him what that means:

S: Don’t you understand what you put her through? D: See, that’s why I didn’t tell you.  Because you’d never have been able to do it.  Don’t get me wrong, Stefan, I don’t mind being the bad guy.  I’ll make all the life and death decisions, while you’re busy worrying about collateral damage.  I’ll even let her hate me for it.  But at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive.

Damon puts words to their roles: Stefan wrings his hands and keeps his hands clean, so that he can stay in Elena’s good graces, and Damon protects her, whether she likes him for it or not.  Stefan’s role is largely passive, Damon’s is active.  the only thing he’s wrong about is that actually, Elena doesn’t hate him for it.  they’re maybe closer than ever.

for the rest of the season, Stefan resists Damon’s interpretation of their triangular dynamic as hard as he can.  in “Klaus” Stefan tries to pretend control by reminding Damon that he’s the one benevolently granting permission for Damon to protect Elena:

D: You should be thankful [Andi]'s here, it keeps me from going for what I really want. S: You’re right, thank you…for being in love with my girlfriend. D: And there it is. S: There it is.  You know, you can be in love with Elena all you want, if it means that you’ll protect her.  But I have the one thing that you never will. D: Oh yeah?  What’s that? S: Her respect.

the “respect” comment is a bit of a non sequitur - as if Elena’s undeniable fondness for Damon is like the affection you feel for a pet who’s too stupid to listen to you.  it misses the mark - Damon knows, by now, that Elena thinks he’s capable of being the better man.  she holds him to a standard, and that is more respect than anyone has ever shown him.  she respects Damon and she gratefully accepts his protection.  the only thing Damon doesn’t have is her romantic love.

this is briefly easier for Stefan to bear once Damon digs himself into another hole.  Stefan is able to admit to Elena in “The Last Day” that Damon’s horrible actions were motivated by love: Damon’s trying to keep her alive, the only way he knows how, even if he forgot for a moment that vampirism isn’t really life.  Elena is too angry to see this, but Stefan, who’s thought about it before, is a big enough person to tell her.

and then in “The Sun Also Rises”, Stefan tries to switch their roles: he sends Damon to carry Elena away to wring his hands over collateral damage, so Stefan can keep watch over the life and death choices: 

S: I need you to get her out of here. D: What about you? S: I'm not leaving until he's dead.

Damon’s still protecting her, of course, but he also gets to cup her face in his hands and ask how she feels - which would normally be Stefan’s job. 

and then, after this last switch, there’s no place for jealousy anymore.  because Damon is dying: 

S: He told me not to tell you [that he's dying], but I figured if you wanted to talk to him...I wouldn't wait.  ....Go talk to him.  Just tell him that there's still hope.

I do wonder if Stefan knew what he was doing when he left with Klaus - if he thought about Elena at all, and what would happen with her, or if he could only think about his brother’s life.  but at least by the time season three opens, Stefan seems to be trying to set aside any possessiveness of Elena.  while Stefan is still in possession of his humanity, we see something like a repeat of the same brotherly dynamic from when Stefan was trapped in the tomb with Katherine.  when he sees Damon, all he says is to keep Elena away, so she’ll be safe.  he figuratively spins Elena away from him and lets Damon pull her into his arms, and when he walks away he tries very very hard not to look back, he tries not to think about the fact that he left them both behind, together.  note that when we do see Stefan and Elena encounter each other - in the closet in Chicago, in the school on senior prank night - Damon isn’t there.  Stefan doesn’t see the dynamic they’ve developed without him until his humanity is gone.

and Stefan-sans-humanity has a very different reaction than he would under different circumstances.  he walks in on Damon knelt in front of a weeping Elena, promising that he’ll never leave her, and Stefan says “Well, isn’t this cozy...by all means, carry on.”  he notices that Elena’s staring at Damon hitting on Rebekah, and says, “My brother’s got his flirt on, and you’re jealous...It’s alright, be jealous, by all means. I’m sure Damon will be thrilled.”

so we don’t start to see Stefan really react to how much closer Damon and Elena have grown in his absence until his humanity is creeping closer to the surface.  you could argue that’s what he’s referring to in “Our Town” when he says, “I lost you the minute I left town with [Klaus], you just haven’t let yourself admit that yet,” as if he was saying “I lost you to Damon.”  but I think the more interesting interpretation there is that Stefan’s talking about his own actions, “I lost you the minute I left town and started killing.”  so that makes Stefan’s first reaction to Damon and Elena’s season 3 relationship “The Ties That Bind” and Elena’s confession:

E: There's something I need to tell you, and it's not because I feel guilty that it happened, it's because I feel guilty you don't know.  I kissed Damon.

Stefan is laid bare, and we see for the first time how much of his apathy is now a mask he puts on consciously and purposefully.  as much as he’s talked a big game about pushing her away, and despite all the moments of casual intimacy he saw while his switch was flipped, he didn’t see this coming.  either because he didn’t think this new relatively-responsible Damon would actually make a move on his brother’s girl, or because he didn’t think Elena would allow it.  but Elena doesn’t even give him the dubious comfort of saying that Damon kissed her and she just kissed him back.  all she says is she didn’t plan it.  it was a surprise for her, just like it was for Stefan, but it did happen and she doesn’t feel guilty about it.  when Stefan finally responds, all he says is:

S: You're better than him, Elena.  You're better than both of us.

the words go along with what Stefan’s been saying and doing all season long: pushing Elena away, letting her go, so she can be free and happy somewhere without him - but now also without Damon. she’s better than both of them, she should let them both go.  but later that night Damon asks if Elena is okay, and Stefan punches him - kissing Elena was an offense against Stefan, because Elena’s still off-limits for Damon, she’s still Stefan’s.  and so he retaliates.  

Stefan’s feeling of vengeful possessiveness starts to shift into something else in "Bringing Out The Dead”:

S: I love her, Damon. D: So do I.

this is Stefan letting Damon know that Damon’s not going to “take” Elena without a fight.  Damon responds in kind, because he’s not going to cede to Stefan’s prior claim.  they both love her.  neither of them currently “has” her.  may the best man win.

which brings us, at long last, to "Dangerous Liaisons”.  both brothers have declared their love for Elena - but both of them aren’t completely all-in on showing it.  for Damon, “it is right, but not right now”; for Stefan, his humanity is still only partially on, and, we soon discover, when he lets himself care, all he feels is pain.  

the episode begins with this exchange:

D: Can we go back in time where the old Stefan cared if Elena lived or died? S: What for? It's your job now.

this is neither brother at his best, a definite dick move on both of their parts.  but the real meat of their conflict in this episode is here:

S: You know, maybe you should stop being such a controlling dick, Damon. D: Wait, hang on, I’m the problem here? S: You’re a liability, brother. D: I’m trying to keep her alive, Stefan. S: Yeah, well, your emotions are getting in the way of our plan. D: Wh - my emotions?  How is this even happening right now? S: Maybe because you care too damn much.

the crazy thing is, “you may be trying to keep her alive but your emotions are getting in the way of our plan because you care too damn much” is, in essentials, almost exactly the same as “you can be in love with Elena all you want, if it means you’ll protect her.”  Stefan takes the very thing that Damon has always had going for him - “at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive” - and turns it into a weakness, a fault.  and it’s not explicitly because Damon will keep Elena safe without consulting her wishes, i.e. feed her vampire blood rather than risk losing her.  it’s not about his not respecting Elena’s freedom enough to let her be protected the way she wants.  it’s not about some harm or injustice to Elena at all.  it’s about the big picture, the big picture that Damon is incapable of seeing because all he sees is Elena.  Damon will never care more about defeating Klaus than he cares about Elena.  and somehow, Stefan twists words around, hints and implies and accuses, and makes that look like a bad thing, and Elena buys it, and then Damon does too.

but there’s something just absolutely nonsensical and a little insidious about that framing of things.  if Damon didn’t care more about Elena than the big picture battle between the good guys and the bad guys, then he might as well have let her hand herself over to Klaus in “The Sacrifice”.  but he didn’t - he stepped in, and saved her against her own wishes, risking himself in the process.  and he was right to do so - his actions weren’t motivated by nebulous “emotions”, code for “selfishness”, but love, real love, which looks out for the true good of the beloved.  the fact that Damon’s love for Elena is a preferential love, a love that has always put her first, is exactly what makes it a romantic love.  he doesn’t care too much, he’s not crazy impulsive, being driven by blind feelings.  he’s doing what love does: prefer the good of the other.  and Stefan understood that, before - he was the one who told Elena, in “The Last Day”, “he did it because he loves you”.  but now that Damon hasn’t done anything truly heinous in a while, now that he’s holding himself together so well that he’s starting to be a romantic threat, Stefan suddenly isn’t so gracious with him anymore.

so yeah, I think Stefan's not playing fair.  rather than facing Damon honorably on the field of love-triangle-battle, his strengths and love against Damon’s strengths and love, he tries to paint Damon’s strength as a weakness so that maybe Damon will forsake it.  if Damon doesn’t have “I’ll be the one to keep her alive”, if he has to be ashamed of that, what does he have?  it’s underhanded and manipulative, and I do not like it.

[paradox-n-bedrock]

2) if I couldn't get love. I'd love to hear more about the dynamic between Lilith and Marie here. How did you even start with that? Did you try to find their common ground? And please share more about your ideas regarding the marassa jumeaux that Marie introduces to Lilith here.

(Find the fic here.)

I mean, writing an OT3, though I hesitate to label the series that, since the dynamic between Lilith and Marie remains in the infancy of flirting and a wealth of mutual respect, and whether it stays there is up to the reader’s interpretation... So, perhaps to rephrase, considering the potential of non-monogamous relationships in fic, one has to consider that there is usually one oddball side of the triangle (or whatever) - the pair that has less or no canon interaction, a less plausible dynamic, or no intention of romance. The ones that are initially connected by their mutual interest in another character. But I like to explore that (and as someone with, uhhh, real-life experience in the matter, sometimes that dynamic turns out to be more compelling than anyone expected). Anyway, I was seeing quite a few posts questioning how Marie as a Catholic was going to maintain a relationship with Zelda - and setting aside that interfaith relationships are a thing, and level of adherence to religious doctrine varies widely among every population (and she’s already openly into women) - it more made me wonder how she would regard Lilith, who exists mostly outside that doctrine and has had personal experience with God. I was thinking that Marie is more than secure enough in her faith to not be shaken by beings outside of its purview existing. And she already knew of Satanic witches. So she would be intrigued more than anything, curious about what the larger picture looks like. 

And, outside of the religious aspect, we’re back to her perceptiveness. She’s not someone who could overlook Lilith’s pain, even if she tried. That’s made worse by how vulnerable Lilith was when they first met in An Offering of Trust. Lilith knows she’s exposed around Marie, and is not happy about that, but Marie’s also been nothing but respectful - Lilith is ancient and powerful and has done nothing to harm her, so there’s no way Marie would be any other way. Lilith is still prickling, questioning Marie’s motives because that initial exposure is not easy to get past, and perhaps that’s why this is their first extended one-on-one interaction, but she’s also warming to her. Not having her vulnerabilities exploited or poked at is always a novel experience for Lilith. In my book, kindness goes so far to disarm her, as we’ve talked about before, and I’m weak for her interacting with anyone that will freely offer her that.

Regarding the Marassa, the creator’s first children, I was really not trying to say anything about them being the same beings. In fact, I was explicitly trying to avoid drawing those sort of conclusions, since we are talking about real religions that face real oppression (referring to Vodou and Judaism). I just wanted to explore the connections that would be so obvious to Marie, faced with Lilith, despite her not being a figure in Catholicism. Since Vodou was formed through the forced syncretism of West African beliefs with Catholicism, it gets a little complicated. Bondye is the same as God, the lwa are associated with Catholic saints, there’s so much overlap in imagery - particularly regarding serpents (which I dove into a bit before) - and the Marassa Jumeaux/Marassa Trois draw an obvious parallel to Adam and Lilith and Eve. But there are major differences, as well: they’re siblings and children, not fully formed adult spouses; they can be any combination of genders, but most often two boys or three girls; and they do have saints they are associated with. 

The big thing that struck me is they are both twins and triplets (Vodou is great about holding simultaneous contradictory ideas. I wonder what Marie thinks of Zelda’s tendency to do the same in everyday life.) And that a child after twins is regarded as a delayed part of those twins, and extraordinarily powerful. I’ve yet to write a fic regarding Lilith’s relationship with Eve, but that immediately made the usually quiet Lilith voice in my head go off. In my headcanon, her relationship with Eve is deep and significant - Lilith is the serpent that gave her knowledge, maybe even of magic. She wanted her to have autonomy from Adam. And Eve listened and valued her. Lilith will forever hold Eve in high regard, she thinks of her as the wise one, regardless of magical ability or lack thereof. So, that was the moment that kicked off this fic. Marie mentioning the Marassa to Lilith and Lilith immediately drawing a comparison to Eve, and then - unintentionally because she’s not thinking very fondly of her in this moment - between Zelda and Eve.

(I’m now going off on a mental tangent, where Lilith did teach Eve magic, but also convinced her to sign the Book of the Beast. I just saw this gifset where Lilith is saying, “We’ve all done unspeakable things to help the ones we love,” and the thought of her betraying Eve due to Lucifer’s manipulation is going to break me. What if that was the first step down the path we see her on? What if her self loathing over that is what began the corruption of her physical form? Nope, I hate this, thanks, brain. No need to go full CAOS dark.)

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Captain Marvel

This review will be spoiler-free, both as a courtesy, and because Captain Marvel is so jam-packed with plot that it’s sort of difficult to figure out how to talk about it. The MCU’s first female-led superhero film has a LOT of pressure on its mighty shoulders, and a lot of questions circling around it. Was it worth the wait? Is it better than Wonder Woman? (Because if a woman stars in a film and no one is around to pit her against another woman, does she even make a sound?) Context is important, and I do believe all these questions matter, but my biggest question going in was always going to be - was this a good entry in the MCU? Well...

Yeah, I think it was. I don’t know that it’s one of the greats - I’d say it’s solidly hovering around the first Guardians of the Galaxy territory rather than Black Panther - but it covered all the normal ground of a superhero origin story and then some. In terms of narrative structure it’s a little disjointed, but at a brisk 2-hour running time, it gives us what we need to set up Captain Marvel’s return to kick Thanos to the curb in Avengers: Endgame next month.

Some thoughts:

FIRST OF ALL, that special Marvel Studios production logo was too much and undid me immediately.

Brie Larson is pretty damn great as Carol Danvers. She’s funny (why didn’t they let her be funny in the trailers? Color me shocked when she wasn’t all ice-cold Air Force swagger but instead was the alien military love child of Dr. Ellie Satler and Buffy Summers), she’s cool, and she radiates goodness. Plus, her wardrobe is like a siren call to my little gay heart - badass chicks in white tank tops has been my kryptonite since Helen Hunt in Twister. 

Larson shines brightest once the movie really gets into full swing and she is able to play off a series of buddy cop dynamics. The first is with a digitally de-aged Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, and their relationship is hilarious, but quickly built on mutual trust and respect. The real heart of the film is when Carol reconnects with her best friend, Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch). Maria and her daughter Monica (Akira Akbar) form a beautiful little family with Carol and their dynamic, even though it’s not given as much screen time as Carol and Fury together, is filled to the brim with emotional heft, devotion, and true connection. The strength of the performances means this is immediately one of the strongest, most healthy friendships I’ve seen in the MCU, and I just hope that we get to see more of it.

In related news: Did I Cry? Yes I did during Maria’s incredible reunion scene with Carol.

The other highlight? A fantastic villain in Ben Mendelsohn, playing a member of the shapeshifting alien race, the Skrulls. Finally the MCU has given someone more to do than glower in some vibrantly colored alien makeup - his backstory and motivations are compelling and completely understandable, and some reveals in the back half of the film mean this movie DEFINITELY continues the MCU’s streak of fantastic casting and conception of their movie villains in Phase Three.

Everything about the soundtrack is amazing, it’s my childhood, and I can’t imagine how much brighter my world would have been as a 9-year-old if I had seen a fantastic female superhero kicking ass to No Doubt’s “Just a Girl.” I’m so happy girls today will get to have that moment.

My only complaints are small ones - the visual effects, particularly during the first major battle scene on an alien planet and the big final showdown in space, felt muddy and cheesy to me. I either couldn’t quite make out what was going on, or I could make out very clearly what was going on and it just looked kind of...meh. Normally I don’t feel this way about Marvel battle scenes, so that surprised me a bit. I will say the hand-to-hand fight scenes featured some of my favorite choreography in recent memory, especially a long sequence in which Carol can’t use her powers as effectively as she would like and has to fight her way out of captivity. Because of her character, those fight scenes contain a lot more punch (ahahaha I’m so funny) than the pew pew laser fights.

Samuel L Jackson steals every moment of every scene he’s in because he’s Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson and all of his interactions with the cat, Goose, are precious and perfect. Also [SPOILER about the cat’s wellbeing coming up] good news for anyone who was worried - Goose finishes the movie unharmed!!

I loved that this movie surprised me by being funnier, cooler, sassier, and more emotionally rich than I was expecting. I wasn’t that convinced by the trailers that I was going to love Carol, because all-powerful god-like superheroes really aren’t my thing. They’re boring because there’s no tension, no stakes. Carol Danvers proved to me that she’s worthy of my adoration for more than just merely existing. She’s not interested in simply ticking off the “female-led superhero movie” box on Marvel’s checklist of diversity. And she’s going to be a welcome addition to the team of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes come April.

[yasuda-yoshiya]

im so glad you decided to give utena a go! it's my favourite anime and there truly isn't any wrong interpretation of the events, themes, and characters. what are your thoughts on the individual student council members? as well as the black rose duelists, and the black rose arc itself? that part of the series always struck me as very important in the elaboration of themes that are important for the rest, even if its 'filler', lmao. and im glad you liked utena as well!

Utena is great! I’m very glad to have watched it. And I know what you mean about interpretations, haha; I’ve been looking up a lot of people’s meta and analysis about it since I finished watching it, and people really do approach it from so many different cool and interesting ways. I think it’s a really cleverly presented show in the sense that it doesn’t really directly push any particular lesson or moral to the story; it just sort of very accurately observes and portrays a lot of really relatable and recognisable social dynamics, and lets the viewer decide for themselves what they want to take from that. I really like it a lot!

Haha, gosh, that’s a lot of characters to cover! Well, let’s see how quickly I can sum them up… For the student council members, I really liked Saionji; I think they did a good job at balancing the portrayal of his sweet and childish side with his capacity for genuine ugliness when his insecurities cause him to lash out at people. He came across to me as someone who really did want a genuinely mutual emotional connection rather than just “possessing” someone (that exchange diary was very endearing in its ridiculousness) but didn’t really know how to go about that except by clumsily forcing it on people, which feels like a pretty relatable teenager thing.

Then there’s Miki…I felt like his fixation on his memories of Kozue and later Anthy as his “shining thing” was a pretty good portrayal of how idolising and putting people on a pedestal can also be its own way of dehumanising them, and I thought his episodes did a good job of showing how those sorts of feelings can easily get diverted into something ugly despite him being a basically gentle kid at heart. I wasn’t quite sure what to make about the stuff with his parents, exactly, and I felt like the whole plotline with Kozue was a bit all over the place, but I still basically appreciate the core of the character and what he adds to the series.

Juri was interesting! Her bitterness over Shiori felt like a pretty authentic and recognisable emotion to me; it’s certainly a very uncomfortable situation as a teenager to be in that position of having feelings for someone you know you’re not “supposed” to, and then having to put up with people giving you those empty platitudes of “oh, if you like someone then you should just tell them!!” without any real understanding of the situation. I thought her relationship with Shiori was pretty compelling in how messed up and dysfunctional it ended up being on both ends, but then her last couple of episodes with Ruka really didn’t do anything for me; it felt to me like he ended up sort of hijacking her plotline in a weirdly offputting way, so I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it in the end. I still like the character, but I felt like her overall arc had potential to be more interesting to me than it was.

Touga…I didn’t really like Touga very much! He honestly just came across as a very consciously manipulative asshole for most of the series, and the show’s eventual attempts to humanise him felt like too little too late for me. I think I can somewhat see and appreciate the idea of what they were going for in terms of a lot of his gross attitudes being a misguided attempt to emulate people like Akio as role models for what a “prince” should be, and that he was also a victim and a pawn of the system in the end, but on the whole I was pretty much inclined to agree with Saionji when he said “you’ve never actually cared about anyone”. Even after Utena supposedly made him doubt himself, he still seemed to keep acting in the same gross ways for the most part, which I guess was probably meant as an intentional deconstruction of the usual tropes in some respects (falling in love doesn’t actually magically make you a better person), but that still doesn’t really make me like him any more!

Nanami was just hilarious, haha. I expected her to be a really grating character from her introduction, but her comic relief episodes were so completely over-the-top ridiculous that they sort of wrapped around to being weirdly endearing in their way, so I couldn’t really actively dislike her. I also couldn’t ever bring myself to actually take her seriously as a character at all, though; bizarre comedy episodes aside, she seemed like a pretty standard clingy brocon character without a whole lot of nuance. But at least she was a very entertaining one!

Oh yeah, the Black Rose arc was really important, I agree! I wouldn’t really say it felt like filler particularly - I suppose it’s true that Utena and Anthy don’t do much in it, but thematically I think it does add a huge amount, and I enjoyed the way it established Akio as a sort of “wise mentor” figure in the background before really putting him into the spotlight in the final arc. It sort of made me sort of instinctively want to trust him even despite him being really obviously shady, which in retrospect was a pretty impressively complicated feeling for the show to be able to pull off. But yeah, the arc itself was really interesting! I think it was definitely a really effective and thematically important choice to put the focus on the “losers” of the system, giving a voice to people you’d expect to be background characters and giving them the chance to fight for themselves. I know Ikuhara said the Black Rose arc was inspired by him hearing someone on TV say something like “society is divided into the chosen and the unchosen; to be unchosen is to die”, and wanting to explore the feelings of the “unchosen”, and I think it achieved that pretty well; a lot of the Black Rose Duelists’ stories were pretty insightful in criticising the narratives behind that sort of artificial social hierarchy and what it does to people.

I think what left the most impact about it to me, though, was that it just had such a strong atmosphere! Those elevator therapy sequences really managed to be legitimately creepy and disturbing; the juxtaposition of the duelists’ big emotional breakdowns with Mikage’s weirdly impersonal, deadpan, scripted response struck a very effectively unsettling note for me. And the Black Rose Duelists themselves had such a cool and memorable aesthetic, too…it always felt really striking to me whenever we got to see them dueling, probably because most of them really aren’t the kinds of characters you’d expect to be fighting (as opposed to most of the student council members who have established fencing and Kendo skills), so it sort of added to the impression of these people who wouldn’t normally have any power within the system being given a chance to fight. So yes, on the whole I think it’s a really cool arc, with a really fantastic presentation in particular.

As for impressions on each of the Black Rose Duelists individually, hmm, let’s see…Kanae was a good enough introduction to the concept, but didn’t really leave that much impression. I felt bad for her being used by Akio, but she didn’t really get enough screentime for me to get invested. Kozue…I think Kozue never really clicked for me, honestly? Her being so creepily possessive of Miki was sort of offputting to me (this show already has enough incest, you know…?), and I felt like I couldn’t really get a good feel for her character or what drove her on anything more than an abstract level.

Shiori was really interesting! There was a compelling sort of raw desperation behind her panicked, uncomprehending response to finding Juri’s locket that really stuck with me; it’s sort of an ugly reaction but it honestly felt pretty sympathetic to me, I think? Like, if on the one hand your former best friend is totally off-handedly dismissing your attempts to reach out and make amends with her in person and acting like she never wants to see you again, but at the same time you find out she’s also secretly treasuring an old picture of you as her most prized possession and keeping it on her at all times…well, that IS actually pretty weird, you know?! I think most people would be at least a little creeped out by that. So Shiori’s kind of totally confused panic response and weird mix of vindicated elation and anger culminating in that accusing shout of “WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME THAT WAY?!” honestly felt pretty real to me. I felt like they did a good job of conveying a real constant sense of deep-rooted self-loathing behind her more selfish and manipulative actions that made it hard for me not to feel sorry for her a lot of the time; it seemed to me like she was stuck in a sort of toxic cycle of trying to escape her low self-esteem by “deceiving people into liking her”, which inevitably just made her feel even worse about herself and just fed deeper into the initial assumption that no one would like her unless she deceived them, and so on, which was really painful to watch. I’m not surprised that she seems to evoke such visceral emotional responses from people within the fandom, because I think a lot of what she says and does really feels uncomfortably raw and real in a way that’s difficult to process. She’s a very good character in that way!

Tsuwabuki…well, he didn’t particularly grab me as a character, but I did actually enjoy his Black Rose episode quite a bit. I feel like it makes for a pretty strong illustration of just how little coherent and accessible information there really is out there for young kids trying to understand what sexuality and relationships are like, so it’s easy for people to end up turning to dubious sources and developing weird and messed up ideas about how things work and what “adulthood” actually means. It’s really no wonder that our whole cultural standards around that stuff have become so screwed up and dysfunctional when no one’s even really willing to talk about it.

Wakaba was great! I liked her a lot. She was a genuinely good friend to Utena and a good illustration of the unappreciated strength and value of “normal people”. The end of her arc with Saionji honestly made me really sad! I sort of wish there was a little bit more follow-up after her duel with Utena, though; I would have liked it if the whole thing had a bit more of a lasting impact on Wakaba and how Utena viewed her and their friendship, but it didn’t feel like that ever really happened, so her subplot felt a bit…unresolved, I guess? Well, I think it’s probably intentional that most of the characters besides Utena and Anthy don’t really get a firm “resolution” to their arcs - the potential for growth is there, but they still haven’t broken out of their shells yet, which is fine - but I think I would have at least liked to see her take a few more steps toward being able to see her own worth without needing someone “special” to validate her. (Akio can get lost with his whole “oh normal people only ever get to shine for a short time lol” nonsense, urrgghh.)

I liked Keiko too! Devoting a whole episode to a previously nameless bit character like that was a really cool way of hammering home the whole theme of breaking down the conventional assumptions behind social “hierarchies” even on a meta/narrative level. Keiko herself was interesting to me in the sense that her grievances and anger at having her chance at happiness “denied to her” when she’s no less deserving than anyone else actually felt legit sympathetic at first in isolation, but then you look at the unspoken assumptions framing that narrative and it suddenly becomes really disturbing (this person would make me happy, everyone deserves happiness, therefore I deserve this person).

Mikage…man, I really wanted to like Mikage - the basic ideas behind his character are really cool and fascinating - but I think his arc just felt too rushed for me in the end? It felt like we basically got dumped with his entire plot and backstory immediately before it got resolved, so I didn’t really have time to get emotionally invested in his story before it was already over. Revealing midway that half of his backstory was probably a lie didn’t exactly help things either, as I was left struggling to keep up with what was actually real and what wasn’t; I still don’t feel like I really have a handle on some of the basic points like why he actually set the building on fire or when exactly Mamiya died, which makes it hard for me to really connect with the character and understand what exactly he got out of the illusionary narrative that Akio constructed for him. Theoretically I feel like he should really be exactly the kind of character I absolutely love - someone detached from their own emotions who doubts their basic humanity, who keeps clinging single-mindedly on to his memories of the only people who ever made him actually feel something even after they’re long gone? Wow, sign me up - but the execution just didn’t quite do it for me. I feel like his story might have benefited from being more spread out across the whole Black Rose arc instead of shoved entirely into two episodes, so that we got more of a chance to get more gradually invested in him? As it is, I still think he’s a conceptually fascinating character, and I’ve read a lot of great meta about his place in the story and his parallels with Utena that makes him sound incredibly interesting, but I just couldn’t really feel it from the show itself.

Wow okay I sure did write a lot! Well, that’s my initial impressions on the Utena characters. I expect a lot of those impressions would change if I watched it again, though - like I said, I don’t think I really fully grasped the real aims and themes of the show until the very end, so I’d probably pick up on a lot more nuances a second time around. But those are my thoughts for now!

[techhatello]

13 Off-Page SEO Techniques To Drive Organic Traffic & Raise Brand Awareness

In the event that you need to raise genuine brand mindfulness and drive monstrous natural traffic to your site, at that point you're needing some truly compelling off-page SEO rehearses. For sure. There's little obvious and powerful substance across the Internet on what precisely advanced advertisers need to concentrate the majority of their assets, information, and time on to drive natural traffic to their website from an off-webpage SEO perspective. That is the place where discounting a total page SEO strategies agenda came from. Expectation it'll loan you some assistance in your advanced advertising tries.

 Off_Page_seo_checklist

 Most client look are made in light of two reasons: to discover data (enlightening question), or to discover data and purchase (business inquiry). You need the two kinds of clients – the ones who look for data, and the ones who need to purchase – in light of the fact that either case is a mutually advantageous arrangement: you'll either change over them into clients, or you'll win yourself some drawn out endorsers.

 ·         Third party referencing is King

 ·         Saddle that Social Media Power

 ·         Add a RSS Feed Subscription Box

 ·         Try not to Shy from Blog Commenting

 ·         Visitor Posting is Still Hot

 ·         Discussions Posting Is a Thing

 ·         Construct Trust

 ·         Fuse Videos and Images

 ·         Assemble Relationships with Webmasters/Influencers

 ·         Be Present On the Web

 ·         Specialty a Sparkling Brand Image

 ·         Archive Sharing Is Good for You

 ·         PR Promo Game

 Before we could even discuss off-page SEO, we should change our insight on what SEO is in any case. In spite of the fact that this may sound excess (all things considered, this is the way you arrived on our blog, definitely understanding what SEO is and its very functions), we will draw a brisk image of what SEO implies today. Site improvement (SEO) represents the whole cumulus of search promoting endeavors intended to make sites and online presence stand apart both in web indexes' and clients' eyes. Website optimization should make your image sparkle in an ocean of different brands, all battling to get among the primary situation in SERPs. Besides, it looks to fulfill clients' hunger for new, high-caliber, pertinent, and helpful data.

 Website design enhancement is a totally extraordinary and elite language utilized by advertisers and website admins to speak with the web indexes. It's a language connect among people and robots maybe. Website design enhancement rhymes with agreeableness, validity, credibility, quality, straightforwardness, reasonableness, streamlining, assortment and that's just the beginning. Additionally, SEO is separated into two fundamental classes: on-page and off-page SEO. What Google asks, SEO endeavors to convey.

 On-page SEO strategies can allude to heaps of things and practices, and it incorporates improved titles and pieces, search-accommodating URL structures, neighborly route – breadcrumbs, client sitemaps - , inner connections, text organizing – h1, h2, strong, and so forth - , easy to use 404 pages, quickened pages as far as stacking, versatile advanced pages, great new substance, picture enhancement – picture size, appropriate picture names, ALT tag - , outer connects to important locales (not broken) and so on

 Off-page SEO alludes to improvement exercises you can do beyond your site. Anything occurring outside of your site and adding to your positioning is considered off-webpage SEO: web-based media advertising, influencer showcasing, specifies (immediate or roundabout), visitor contributing to a blog (once in a while dark cap), so on, so forward.

 Likewise canceled webpage SEO, this kind of site improvement gives web indexes a brief look with respect to how individuals and advanced substances across the Globe and Internet read your site's general highlights. Off-page SEO rhymes with words like third party referencing or advancement exercises, yet the entire thing isn't just about connections, however about significantly more. We'll develop it somewhat later on.

 By sending good page SEO procedures implies you are attempting to demonstrate to your peruses and web indexes that your website is reliable, real, applicable, and could in all likelihood be mainstream in your industry. The advantages set off by great off-page SEO strategies are various, yet how about we name a couple: increment in rankings, increment in PageRank, more visits, more online media notices, and greater deceivability.

 On-page is dynamic doing, while off-page is some way or another detached, as it comes AFTER you've endeavored to convey quality and uniqueness. Regarding result, what occurs off-page is more significant and important than what's on-page. Having a genuinely rich new substance and an easy to use site however no after, likes, offer, notices, or connections across the web, is drivel and purposeless.

 Nonetheless, the on-page SEO significantly impacts the eventual fate of the off-page SEO. That is the reason the outcome must be considered prior to beginning a movement, not after you've just done it. Start with on-page first, and afterward leap to off-page SEO.

 Web indexes may change the manner in which their calculations work, or positioning components may move to new ones or follow another request, however off-webpage SEO will at present issue. Since organizations need approval from peruses, just as connecting colleagues. The client view of your own site value and quality is of principal significance to you. The way to winning them is to construct the best item out there, not simply one more one available, and therefore, the off-page SEO would normally accomplish the work – individuals would discuss you since they are now changed over or attracted to you.

 Right away, how about we get to a definitive off-page SEO methods agenda and gain proficiency for certain exercises for future promoting systems.

 1. Third party referencing is King

 Fabricate and pursue quality connections. That is the first and most significant thing to recollect about connections. As indicated by our SEO expressions glossary, "No Follow is a trait website admins can utilize when connecting to a site that advises web indexes to basically overlook the connection. Informal communities are famous for utilizing No Follow joins when connecting to outside sites. Connections without the No Follow property are alluded to as Do Follow". In case you're pondering really what effect do No Follow joins have on your site, here are some noteworthy information and tips, all supported up by contextual analyses and Google's situation in this issue.

 Third party referencing is the most well known advertising strategy conveyed by experts everywhere on the world. It's the most wanted result of all – alright, somewhat. It is imperative to the point that, despite the fact that Google recommends that substance is the #1 positioning element, it's frequently favored by the majority over the standard of making and giving quality new substance. However, content is as yet contributing a ton to your connecting system.

 To pull in connections normally, you'll need phenomenal substance—really the most elite—and a hell of a decent advancement intend to make that content noticeable to the ideal individuals.

 Connections are deciphered as votes or adulation to your site, and in general enthusiasm for your image. A similar third party referencing exertion added to the ascent of what's referred to the present time as dark cap SEO. At times, individuals are so frantic to accumulate joins that they light behaving recklessly and play out the accompanying: discussion marks, select your site in substance catalogs, connect trade plans, interface organizations, blog indexes, remark interface (a.k.a. remark signature), article catalogs, etc.

 There are things that make an alluding area, henceforth a connection, significant (or not), and these are mainstream, the subject match between the two spaces tied by a connection (is the connection applicable?), anchor text, interface newness, site reliability, space authority (DA) as well as page authority (PA), and no. of connections utilized by the "sender" page. Subsequently, focus on whom you're connecting to and how you're doing it.

 Three fundamental kinds of connections populate the web:

 Normal connections: a client/client/peruse knows the substance on your page and has a positive view over your administrations, and connections to your business as an indication of trust, gratefulness, and support;

 physically assemble joins: acquired through direct third party referencing endeavors; willfully requesting that clients connect to your item, or influencers to share your substance;

 self-made connections: when posting your site interface in remarks a.k.a. remark signature, or in web indexes, gatherings, official statements, and so forth (the majority of them enter in the dark cap class)

 The most shrewd move is practice regular third party referencing. The most ideal approach to do this is to make your substance deserving of connections, and connections will work out easily. Visitor writing for a blog is additionally a smart thought yet be mindful so as not to over link your site and make your commitment more nasty than valuable. Additionally, assemble your connections at a typical, conventional speed, maybe, which is continuously, or, in all likelihood Google will believe you're doing some dark cap wizardry.

 Third party referencing ought to be about quality, not amount. Numerous computerized advertisers or organizations will in general fail to remember that. Go for the great connections. However, don't allow this to prevent you from connecting to and getting joins from more modest or more youthful brands and experts, as long as the areas are acceptable and are identified with your specialty. They need to meet the further necessities: quality, appropriate content and catchphrases, inbound numbers, and others I've just referenced previously. Eventually, you ought to have the best of the two universes. What's more, you should target it, in any event, when you think your business is in an exhausting specialty and there's very little you can do.

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