#but then there was fan backlash because... gay people are loud now? people wanted A Queer In Space? wild thought

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Loved your answer to the most overtly gay song question. On the opposite end of the scale, what song do you think is the least obvious but still gay?

Thank you!

Oh wow, the impossible question to answer, I guess the most well-hidden jokes and references are the ones that even the best people on the internet have yet to find. I bet there are some, she's a sneaky one with a dirty sense of humour ;) (Honestly, that 'at every table I save you a seat' line from lover took me years and then some explaining to get...)

I think a lot of Taylor's earlier songs just have a vibe of someone struggling with unrequited love, always pining from a distance and battling religious guilt which (at least to me) is a big part of growing up queer in the 90s and therefore has a strong gay undertone, but it's hard to explain to someone on the outside. Bit like how, if you listen to 'You're on your own, kid' and you get it, then you get it, but if you don't, you never will, even if someone explained it to you. If that makes sense...

The one thing that I think is so genius about Taylor, the girl who made a career out of writing break up songs, is that she can write songs that on the surface look like break up songs, but are really about something else. And I don't even know how far back this goes. High Infidelity really opened my eyes to this, because I just couldn't make sense of it for the longest time, until it suddenly clicked and it was like putting glasses on for the first time, everything is suddenly clear and makes so much more sense. A song about trying to come out and being misunderstood disguised as a song about a cheating partner? I think it's the best con yet. I don't want to do a full lyrical analysis because I know it has been done already, but I have to quickly highlight the most brilliant bits:

(For context, for me this songs is about her trying to come out in 2019 and the backlash she got for the YNTCD music video because people didn't get it and accused her of queerbaiting)

Rain soaking/blind hoping / You said I was freeloading - This is the first line that really stood out to me as not making sense, because who would accuse a millionaire of freeloading, right? She is more rich and famous than any man she's ever dated. But if you think of freeloading as queerbaiting then it makes plenty of sense. 'I was blindly hoping you would see me and accept me into your community but you didn't see me as one of you and accused me of baiting/using you instead'. This also perfectly explains the 'your picket fence is sharp as knives' line, which really highlights the gatekeeping culture that her queer fans exhibited. No you cannot be part of this group unless you explicitly say that you're gay.... ouch. Sharp as knives indeed. Honestly, this is so brutal, to be told by your own community that you are not a part of them unless you're out is really hurtful and I really think she wasn't expecting that reaction. Hence 'I didn't know you were keeping count'.

My absolute favourite bait and switch line is 'Put on your records and regret me/ Put on your headphones and burn my city' from the chorus which, to me, is saying to the fans 'regret that you ever bought my records if you hate me now' but for the hetlors it's also a reference to Calvin Harris being a DJ and moves the whole song into a straight explanation of 'maybe Taylor cheated on CH with Joe...' brilliant 😉 Same with 'I was dancing around, dancing around it'. To me, that is about her interview where she tiptoed around the question of why she was advocating for queer rights and eventually came up with her 'community I'm not a part of' answer. 'I bent the truth too far tonight'. Definitely dancing around the truth very carefully there, but dancing around can of course also refer to a nightclub...

Btw the line that finally made it all click for me is 'At the house lonely/ Good money/ I'd pay if you just know me'. That's really quite loud in terms of 'I'd give all my money and fame up for just being seen as who I am'. Not sure what the straight explanation is for this. Also, for you out there who feel iffy about discussing Taylor's queerness on the internet, read these lyrics! Here she is saying 'I'd give anything to be seen by you/ Not being loved by the community because I'm closeted is the slowest way to kill me/ When will it ever be enough what I do (aka 'I gave so many signs 2.0') This is not a queer person in hiding, this is a queer person begging to be seen by her people. The same woman who's blowing wistful kisses to lesbian couples at her shows. She wants to be seen. And I recon doing all of that and then being accused of queerbaiting must have really hurt and I'm not surprised she wrote such a heartbreaking song about it.

Sorry, that was way longer than I intended... in a nutshell, I think her most hidden/most deeply coded songs are the ones that look like break up songs on the surface but are not. My tears ricochet is definitely another one, as is You're Losing Me, Hoax and Right where you left me. When I saw that pattern I wasn't even sure how far back this goes, is Dear John actually about John Mayor? And Would've, could've, should've? I don't know but I do know that it's often not as simple as it looks with Taylor's songs, especially the seemingly obvious ones. Basically, whenever it seems obvious is when we really should be looking closely 😉

[ramblingcj]

I've found myself going down the rabbit hole that is "bury your gays" because I love torture apparently.

Found myself reading about The 100 and the Lexa controversy. I never watched the show and so I completely missed the whole drama surrounding it. I knew about it vaguely but that was it. And... wow.... that whole thing was somehow more cruel than other examples of that trope.

The relationship between Clarke and Lexa was used under the guise of giving lesbian/bisexual representation to draw in viewers. The creators needed their show renewed and the LGBT+ fanbase is strong and loud. So they baited them in with a character that they fell in love with. A character they still love considering how popular Lexa still is as a character years later.

But the "bury your gays" trope was (and is) a real fear. The fans were literally begging "hey please don't kill this character off". Or asking them about the "bury your gays" trope. This went on for weeks or even months prior to that episode. And the creators were like "don't worry guys, we totally won't do that". One writer even went as far as going into a lesbian forum to reassure everyone that nothing was gonna happen to Lexa. They knew about the trope but they didn't care. All they cared about was getting the views and stroking their egos.

Fans were practically begging them not to do it and they still did. Worse, they thought they did something good or groundbreaking.

Instead of... you know... really hurting people. The fact that the first thing some people did was tweet out the number to suicide hotlines after the episode was a heartbreaking thing to read about. And these assholes just didn't care.

Well...I bet the creator cared when he lost 15k followers on Twitter and the backlash came. So much so that the "Lexa pledge" became a thing. He got the attention he clearly craved, just not the kind he wanted.

It was a wild ride to read this. It was frankly pissing me off.

The, out of curiosity, I watched the scene. And now, I'm even more annoyed. THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT HAPPENED TO TARA IN BUFFY.

Step by step. Practically scene for scene. Just listen to this:

Lesbian character is on the outs with the girl she loves, but they are slowly rebuilding. Things happen, and they eventually find themselves coming together again. They have sex, spend some time cuddling (or going for round 2) before finally getting dressed.

While they are dressed and just enjoying the afterglow as it were, some jackass comes running in with a gun. He fires madly but misses his intended target. Instead he hits the lesbian character by accident. She then dies in the arms of the girl she loves.

Did I describe what happened to Lexa or Tara?

Both actually.

Not only did these assholes cruelly use Clexa to draw in fans while reassuring them that nothing bad will happen, but they were fucking lazy about it too! They just rewrote the whole thing with Willow and Tara.

That somehow makes this controversy worse. Not only did they hurt people with what happened, they couldn't even be bothered to write something original.

I think that's enough Internet for me today.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Hmmm you know

I think now I'm ready to post something that was once in the drafts of a dead social media account of mine. It was...about something I began to notice with fandom discourse (although a phenomenon I see considerably less on tumblr)

Also, disclaimer. The definition of "crackship" for the understanding of this post encapsulates ships that can be made within the canon of a specific media (with crossovers limited to what characters from other properties canonically have a crossover event), and literally means the shipping of characters that have never met or barely interacted within their canon.

ㅤ

Original Poster: Hey, I think maybe it's kinda dumb that people in fandom can make actual m/w crackship couples and seriously claim and believe this couple is going to be canon without much backlash/pushback. And not only that, but a sizable or very loud part of fandom is allowed to take it as an undisputed truth of canon. Meanwhile someone will ship a non m/w pairing that has chemistry or subtext, and these same people who are fans of the m/w pairing get away with shaming those fans of the non m/w pairing for "crackshipping" and "shipping things that don't make sense", and I'm tired of the absurdity and double standards.

A group of internet randos in the replies: Ugh. I can't believe you're discriminating people for what they ship. That straight ship isn't even bad, you just want to make em feel bad for not shipping gay shit. No no actually, all ships are bad, and saying that straight ship is bad because it has no basis is rich coming from a fandom that ships incest!

Original Poster: ...Where did I say that people can't like a ship? I literally just pointed out double standards and specifically talked about the often hypocritical claims from people that m/w ships with little basis or proof are going to be canon

Other randos, missing the point: Yeah! Plus, I mean, at least our gay rarepairs ALWAYS have an actual basis and chemistry unlike those pesky het ships

Original Poster: 🤦🤦🤦 I came here to talk about hypocrisy when talking about canon relationships or relationships people assume will be canon. WHY are we having a conversation about which fictional ships are "bad" and should be less liked because they are "less canon" or have "little chemistry"

ㅤ

Yeah, there's a lot to unpack there, I know. But above all what I want to make clear is that I do not care what you ship. I do not care by any means. But "is this viable in canon" is a completely different topic than "Am I allowed to enjoy this in fanon". If your response to someone pointing out hypocrisy among people who allegedly care about the canonicity or canon potential of all their ships is to talk about how at least your rarepairs or crackships are "actually good" and have "more chemistry", then you're not actually agreeing with that person. It's the same rhetoric as the person who ships a m/w pairing with little to no basis, and has louder and larger fandom agreeing with them on how it is or will be canon, who is claiming that X popular gay ship is bad because it's not canon or "a literal crackship".

Or rather, I guess one of the points here is that we very much need to untangle "talk of canon potential" from "ships that are allowed to be popular and people are allowed to like". You can just like a ship without having to prove it's going to be canon. You can just dislike a ship without posting replies on posts regarding the ship about how it has no proof or chemistry. A ship doesn't have to be "more canon" to be good, and you don't have to prove that your ship is viable to be allowed to enjoy it.

Although another big point here is people dodging the point a person is making (in the case of this post's example, hypocrisy among louder fandom or dudebros) in the interest of dunking on minor things (such as focusing on how their great gay ships have so much more chemistry than those people's pesky derivative het ships) or deciding that the poster is inherently anti-[specific thing]/intending to harass likers of the thing in question (in this case, where the ship isn't the point so much as the attitute of the specific group a person is talking about)

So I suppose to an extent this post is also about attributing beliefs or intentions to a poster that not only did not say but did not imply they owned

Like I said, there's a lot to unpack here. At the time I wrote this, I was just annoyed at all the hypocrisy and the whole obsession with "Well I am/my ship/my group is better because we/it's [insert qualifier here like "unproblematic" or "has chemistry" or "spicy"]"

[poetandwolf]

Which labels do you use? Trans, Ace/Aro, Pan, Fictoromantic.

Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc?Queer because my mouth is too small and my tongue is too big and I have a chiari malformation so some words are hard to say and rolling out the LGBT+ out makes me mumble and stumble over my words, and I have been made fun of for it by my own community so I just say “queer”.

Which pronouns do you use? he/him or ‘they/them (for system reasons)

Are you "out" to your family and friends? Yes.. my family knows for the most part. My dad doesn’t really ‘get’ the ficto thing I don’t think but my brother and mother are smart enough to piece together Aubrey = Alhazad.

Are you "out" publicly? Uh, stealth usually on the trans thing. People at work think I’m gay/in a same sex relationship- which is kind of true.

(If you're out) do you wish you came out sooner? Later? Or was it the right time? Yes. I wish I said something to my dad when I was 16, it may have made it easier for him to accept why I was the way I was. But I don’t regret growing up as a ‘woman’ from 16-26 because I learned a lot. It’s the journey, not the destination. I wish I knew I could be ficto and that it was okay and stood up for myself instead of being afraid of the backlash and people forcing me into things or ignoring me and over stepping my boundaries.

Are you the "token" Yeah..

Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender: Kurt Cobain and Van Gough’s love child with Yog Sothoth.

When did you realize you weren't cishet? When did you realize you *were* cishet? I was always the way I was. I didn’t figure it out, I just knew I was different from everyone else around me.

Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans): My goatee, or when ever someone calls me sir ;A; <3.

Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media? I don’t think I really have one..?

Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most: I don’t really have any, maybe besides Garbage but I wouldn’t call them a favorite band.. Nirvana and the Foo Fighters could be because what they had was def kind Bi energy.

Do you choose to reclaim slurs, why or why not? I will use the F-word but weird kind of hyperbole.. “Gay” as an insult like in fun like *claw spin*. At work it kind of gets hilarious like someone will be popping off about someone else and call them the F word, then look at me “no disrespect” and I’m like “none taken.” I mean it’s probably problematic but dude, there’s this butchy lesbian who drops the F word on everyone.

How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity? Uuuh yeah, like. I dunno.. Probably. It’s hard to explain because I have a hard time relating to transmen irl who aren’t on the spectrum.

How has your identity changed over time? Hmm.. first I thought I was bi because I loved my best friend and liked boobs but then I also loved Aubrey/Alhazad... and then it was weird because I never liked anyone like I loved Aub. I was constantly stresses about being trans as I got older and buried it due to trauma. But if that shit never happened things may have been different. I think it was like Bi>Pan>Ace/Aro>Ficto then Gender fluid>Trans-male>Transmasculine?Gender fluid...? Being on different hormones for this fiborid has made me give less and less fucks about my gender outside of work/around the kids (we don’t want to confuse them and they don’t need to know what I was ‘born as’)

Do you attend Pride in person every year? No.. I hate crowds and I am not a fan of the flare and ... loud of it all. I know it’s very important to people but I can’t take all that energy and exaggeration of personalities (like I don’t like drag, either. I mean it’s cool of people do but I can not take the loudness of personalities my autistic brain melts down and I just want somewhere quiet. Can we have a Pride fest where we hike the PCT and little talking???)

Have you ever attended Pride in a big city/ large metro area? Fuck no I would die.

How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with? N/A.

Do you feel safe and accepted in your local community?Yes, for the most part no one gives a shit. The super market who watches me transition and various other places and the pizza shop that knew me when I was 19 and on wards just.. don’t even question it and it’s very much “Oh, huh. Well that makes sense.”

Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall? No... I feel like I don’t fit in at all and I’m not whatever level of fabulous that they want me to be...

What message would you give to your younger self? You’ll be happier as man, That bitch is a lying piece of shit and Aubrey LOVES YOU no matter what the fuck you are. Now beat the dog shit out of that bitch while you’re under 18.

How do you usually celebrate Pride month? I make a mental note draw my ocs with their flags then I forget to do it. But usually at work we hang up pride related things and such. I don’t really do anything but I do make a toast on the 28th for those who fought for our rights.

Do you prefer loud parties or quiet? I don’t do parties.

Do you practice any religion, if so how does it play into your LGBT identity? Do you feel welcomed by your spiritual community? I struggled a lot when I was a child because I did want to believe in ‘God’ and like my own version of it- but I thought what I felt and how I felt about girls was ‘wrong’. It’s.. weird. It sucked. But I stopped believing in all of that when I was 15-- for god. And I had happen realize that I did like my best friend, but also Alhazad the same year. Al was just so much deeper. I don’t really practice any religion anymore outside of some Buddhist things but nothing really serious. If there is a higher power it is so far above what we can comperhend and I don’t think it gives a shit about who we love as long as we’re happy because gender is a human construct.

What queer discourse frustrates you the most? I don’t care anymore. As long as I can shoot T in my ass and ruin the men’s room at a Costco when I get IBS from being around crowds I don’t care. Leave me alone and get off my lawn.

How do you feel about the term partner rather than husband/girlfriend/etc? We should normalize the term partner in all relationships. Period. cishet or other wise.

What gender-neutral terms for yourself or others do you use (i.e. joyfriend)? lmao what? Alhazad/Aubrey ID’s as a man and has huge BDE and while his Japanese pronoun isn’t really gendered he prefers male ones so I call him either my husband or my partner. He will call me his ‘wife’ or ‘his love’ or ‘my husband’ it all depends on the context and what personality is out and where we are at the time.

Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? No, my romantic attraction is only for one person and one person only and that falls under ficto with Alhazad. Now sexual attraction? I have to have some kind of connection with the person to sleep with them, it’s a very ace-spec thing. But before T I didn’t have any sexual attraction at all. So honestly I don’t know. I had to quit T while I’m on lupron and other hormones for my hysto and my sex drive is a dead cat fish in a bucket right now. Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to? I never had sex with anyone with a penis so I am kind of wondering what that feels like after I have my hysto. Am I answering this right?

Are you currently partnered, or if not are you interested in having partner(s)? Yes *points to Aub*.

Are you monogamous or polyamorous? Monogamous as far as romantic love. I.. guess rn I have one FWB when there was a time I had about 3 but it wasn’t anything deep about it. Sex for me was like.. when you have an itch and then it gets scratched and you’re good for a few weeks.

Post a pic in your pride gear (or it can just be a selfie or anything else lgbt): Alls I have is the Magic Gay sticker plastered all over my work shit.

Do you do arts and crafts? yes, I draw and make things Post a pic of a project you've done: https://www.deviantart.com/ifoundawayout find stuff there

What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/ want to recognize/celebrate? the fact I am a thriving trans dude and I am very happy with my ficto/spirit husband :)

What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)? A promise I can continue to have my HRT and use the bathrooms I need to use, because it would be so fucking awkward if I was forced to detransition with out my fucking ovaries that are being taken out in July. I don’t have the mental horsepower to change my name and do that shit all over again like please don’t make me do that I don’t want to and it’s going to be a huge headache for everyone involved...

Anything else you want to ask during Pride: .... I dunno I kind of wish I could go to a Pride event with my husband (likely high or on a tranq to find stuff we could do and maybe support local GLBT artists?? I can’t think of anything. OH I know! How come they haven’t made a huge farting unicorn that farts glitter!! HR said if I could find one they’d buy it as part of our Pride Month decor.

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[margarethx]

I really don’t like going into topics like that, because I honestly care more about characters than actors who play them most of the time... I don’t feel like it’s my job to defend celebrities and actors, because I don’t owe them anything and I don’t know them, so I might be wrong... But the way some of you act about the whole situation with Anthony Mackie is abhorrent and I just can’t fully ignore it. So let’s sum it up.

----- ------- -----

1) Majority of the people who criticize Anthony for his words did not learn the full context. I just know they didn’t. They didn’t click to see the entire interview and analyze what was really said. They just saw a headline with some “scandalous” statement and started ranting about it without thinking.

2) Most of the fans who are the most loud and vicious about their criticism of Anthony Mackie in this situation sound like they would hate him no matter what he said. They were just waiting for him to do something wrong or semi-wrong and lached onto it the first chance they got.

3) It’s frankly embarassing that after 6 episodes of a popular Marvel show, dozens of media appearences, and hundreds of positive/neutral/wise/funny words said in different interviews Anthony was never really trending on the Internet, but the second he says something mildly controversial you all suddenly care so much about what he has to say... Okay...

4) Acting like race has nothing to do with this situation is just stupid. If you think that the fact that he’s Black is not in any way relevant in this "drama” you’re wrong and maybe you should rethink your opinions keeping that in mind.

5) I understand the initial reaction of the fandom being frustration and hurt, but no one is forcing us to voice our opinions the second we learn about something. You can read the full article, listen to the whole interview. Look at what other people are saying and then provide your own take on the issue. I feel like way too many people just heard that there’s some drama going on and typed the first thing that came to their minds without stopping to think. As always.

6) Even if you don’t agree with everything that Anthony said claiming that his words make him homophobic is weird. His statement was vague and could be interpretend as something... ugh... “problematic” out of context, but if you actually listen to what he said you’d know what he meant. He really didn’t say: “I hate shipping Sam and Bucky, it’s gross and people who do that are awful”... Yet half the fandom acts like these are his actual words.

7) The website standing behind it is partially responsible for the backlash he got, because they framed his words in probably the worst possible way to promote the interview which I find incredibly unfair.

8) Also asking actors about shipping is not a great idea. It’s not their job to deal with fandoms who got angry about everything. And like I said: it doesn’t matter what his answer would be. Someone would hate him for it anyway. Also it’s not like Anthony’s opinion would matter to the Marvel Studios if they wanted to make Sambucky canon or not. I’m sure his view on this issue is entirely irrelevant to them. He’s not standing in your way to get some representation, come on.

9) By the way... Many of you don’t act like you care about representation if it’s not done in a very specific manner (something Mackie even spoke about in a way), so I don’t really trust that many of you actually give a shit about it, when it doesn’t fit your incredibly narrow interpretation of what should be represented... or when it doesn’t match your very specific aesthetic...

10) Some people brought it up and I was almost inclined to agree... “Platonic male friendhips are important! Just because you’re affectionate with other man doesn’t mean you’re gay” is usually a terrible argument used in fandoms by homophobes against making gay couples canon. But I feel like it’s a different thing when some random Twitter user says it and when it comes from a man who is asked over and over, and over, and over again how close exactly is he with his male co-worker that he likes in private life.

11) If you’ve seen other interviews done by Anthony Mackie (not just short clips promoting Marvel movies) you’d know that it’s not the first time he speaks about his opinions about the topic. It didn’t come out of nowhere. And I don’t think we should hold him to completely different standards just because he admitted to being more intolerant in the past, but few people are open enough to admit that and show they’re working to change. And maybe I’m biased, because I had to put actual effort into changing my worldview about some topics into a more progressive one before, but I feel like it’s important to give people time to re-learn after years of having worse opinions. Or to give them some benefit of the doubt and trust that they’re not your enemy, because they’re not always 100% perfect with their support.

12) Overall I just feel bad for him, because poor wording or not, I’m sure - judging by many of his previous statements - that he didn’t mean to say something harmful and yet everyone was ready to jump and hate him even more than they did before. At the end of the day he’s 40-something straight guy who has very limited experience with fandoms, so he (for a good reason) preferred to just avoid the topic. But he was pushed again and again to talk about it, until he finally said something that people didn’t like... Some of you were just wainting to have a weapon to use agains him... So, congratulations, now you have it.

----- ------- -----

... I’m just tired by this whole situation and disappointed in a lot of fans I previously liked. There were a few people who immediately jumped to criticize Mackie and judging by their words they didn’t really know what they were talking about. I had to change my opinion about few creators who I followed, because of their terrible behaviour after all of this and it honestly leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

And I’m not even a huge Anthony Mackie fan! As I’ve mentioned... I don’t like being too invested in actors lives, I just prefer to focus on their work and what they’ve created... with a few tiny exceptions. But seeing how the fandom reacted to his statement made me so annoyed and frustrated that it felt wrong to just be silent and pretend like nothings happening.

[barbiegirldream]

A few weeks ago I was talking to someone Reddit about how they thought Dream didn't get backlash from the speedrunning mods like they did from him. And I pointed out that's cause no one with any life at all would care if Dream did or did not cheat in Minecraft... but if Dream was a racist? If he said a slur? Then the speedrunning mods would have people on their side. Cause if Dream is a racist in peoples eyes they don't need to fact check anything they slap him with bigot and move on. So the speedrunning mod Geosquare knowing full well that was not Dream in a clip accused him of saying the n-word. Because all it takes is an accusation and people roll with it. 

Anyways my point is Dream antis know they don’t need to say anything true. They just need to say something loud and under the guise of social justice. Because someone will give it half a glance see Dream said a slur? and decide he’s a racist forever I don’t care you can’t change my mind. So now there is a section of the internet who has refused to accept Dream or his fans into their space and it does far more harm than good because he’s not just some dude playing Minecraft. He’s literally carving out a new space in gaming and everyone can see it wether they hate him or not. 

And for some of Dream’s more harmful antis this is actually exactly what they want. Because Dream is actually an invaluable ally to poc and queer people but antis so easily blind people to that. He is a highly privileged young man in a position to make real actual change and everyone knows that. It’s not just his fans who see that he wants to do good. Antis who watch his every move see his donations to the Trevor Project, his support for Black Lives Matter, his interest in opening a home for LGBTQ+ kids. They see all of it and believe it or not the 22 year old who made some harmful but not malicious jokes then apologized and learned isn’t actually the problem. It’s the Dream anti who call him a leftist (derogatory) or gay because he’s emotional or they dig into him and demonize specifically his ADHD traits because they see all of this. They see his fanbase of young socially and politically active largely female, neurodivergent, poc, queer, leftists and they see a target. 

It’s just a damn shame how easily even people who know Dream isn’t what the antis think still allowed for his reputation to be tarnished so heavily people have convinced themselves ragging on him for donating to Cancer Research makes them good people. 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Social Media AU - Richie Tozier comes out during a show

I decided that this AU works better with a written headcanon to go with it, and so I’ve included it underneath the cut. It’s a little rough because it’s been a LONG time since I sat down and properly wrote something, but I tried!

Enjoy!

Holy shit.

He couldn’t believe he’d done that.

Jesus fucking Christ.

His manager was talking shit in his ear, prowling after him like fuck knows what, talking about “there’ll be backlash for this” and “not part of the plan”, and even “you’ve ruined your whole fucking career”. The usual stuff, really. Richie couldn’t bring himself to give a shit though, not right now. His heart was pounding ridiculously loud in his chest, blood rushing through him and making him feel dizzy – adrenaline mostly, but also some anxiety too.

Somehow he found himself in his backstage dressing room, manager still nagging him and furiously demanding answers. Pull it together, Tozier, pull it together.

“What in God’s name were you thinking?!” Brad hissed, slamming his hand down on the dressing table; the bottle of water next to the mirror topped slightly from the force of it. “This is a PR nightmare!”

“I don’t give a shit,” Richie said simply, giving a shrug. “What can I say, man? Gotta be true to myself.”

A vein seemed to throb in his manager’s forehead. “You just announced that you’re gay in front of hundreds of people, Richie, most of whom are within the demographic that are the least accepting of homosexuality! You think you’re the first gay person to be in this position? Because you’re fucking not, okay, there’s a reason PR is a thing! Your image is going to be ruined within just a few short hours of all of this!”

“So you want me to lie about it?” Richie snapped. “I’m done lying, okay? I’m done with the dumb girlfriend jokes, I’m done with the misogynistic shit that I’m having to recite, I’m fucking done! I shouldn’t be ashamed about this, it’s 2017 for fuck sake!”

“Alright, sure, it’s a more accepting time, but your fan base...in case it escaped your notice, you have a certain demographic, and it’s not ‘woke’ gay people. The people who came to your show tonight wanted to see the Richie Tozier they know and love, they wanted those jokes and that humor - not your life story and an impromptu coming out!”

“Well, tough shit to them - like I said, if I’m doing these shows, I’ll do it with my own jokes, not hiding who I am anymore.”

“Richie, it’s not that simple-”

There was a knock on the still-open door; a stagehand gawked at them, a little nervously, before clearing her throat. “Um… I’m sorry to interrupt, I… Well… These guests have VIP passes, and they wanted to see Rich- I mean, Mr Tozier right away.”

Behind her, Richie could see the rest of the Losers Club waiting awkwardly, clearly trying not to look at him or his manager. He cleared his throat and gave what he hoped was an at least somewhat polite nod. “Yeah, they’re friends of mine. Thank you. Brad,” He turned to his manager and gave him a meaningful look. “Some privacy please?”

Brad straightened his blazer but nodded too. “Of course. I have...things to try and fix. We’ll discuss this later, Richie.”

He waited until both the stagehand and his manager were out of earshot before gesturing for his friends to come into the dressing room; all of them looked nervous, clearly trying to pretend that they hadn’t overheard the argument, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind - he was just so glad to see them all right now.

“So…” He said, closing the door behind them and trying to look like he was holding it together. “What- What did you think?”

“You were great, Richie,” Bill said sincerely - and that seemed to make the others more comfortable too, judging by how they all started to smile and rush to embrace him.

“You did a wonderful job, Richie,” Beverly told him, giving him a squeeze and beaming at him. “You had us all laughing the entire show.”

Ben was grinning widely. “Far funnier than any of your old material, that’s for sure.”

“You were actually funny,” Stan said, though he was smiling fondly. “Never thought I’d say that, Trashmouth, but it’s true - if only you were that funny when we were kids.”

“Ha, fuck you too, Stan Urine,” Richie joked, but he was unable to stop himself from exhaling in relief. “I’m glad you all enjoyed the show - was kinda worried it wouldn’t get the same laughs as my old stuff.”

“Your old stuff was fake,” Mike brushed off, giving him a kind smile. “We could see it was really you up there, being yourself.”

Richie felt a little dazed by all the attention; he was briefly aware of Bill and Mike both patting him on the back, of Stan and Patty sharing a small laugh as they recounted something he’d said during the show, Audra congratulating him and saying how happy she was to finally meet all of her husband’s friends, Ben grinning widely, Beverly holding his arm and stating that she was so proud-

Eddie.

Fuck.

“Has anyone seen Eddie?” He blurted out, unable to stop himself. Everyone else fell into silence. “Oh shit. Fucking shit-”

“He just went out for some air,” Beverly said quickly, though she looked uncertain. “I think it’s just...a lot for him.”

“I gotta go find him,” Richie muttered, immediately heading for the door. “Fucking fuck...”

Ben’s arm stopped him before he could touch the handle. “Rich, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“No, I need to apologize to him, I need to explain-”

“Richie,” Bill said quietly. “You just said you’ve been in love with him since we were kids, in front of hundreds of people. Everyone will know by tomorrow, even if they weren’t at tonight’s show. It’s a lot for him to take in.”

Something anxious and vile reared up in Richie’s chest, making him feel like it was difficult to breathe. “I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked this up, oh fuck...I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Richie-”

“It’s okay, Richie, don’t panic-”

“Shit, what’s he gonna think?! Fuck, I’ve ruined our whole friendship, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You haven’t fucked anything up, Richie.”

“Rich, please just breathe, okay?”

He was only somewhat aware of Beverly’s hand in his arm, gently pulling him over to the nearby chair and sitting him down. “Richie, honey, have some water and just focus on breathing, okay?”

Knowing he had no choice in the matter, he took a gulp from the water bottle she passed him, focusing on her voice and doing his best to push his fears away. Tonight was supposed to have been the opposite of this - he was supposed to be brave, to stand tall, to not be ashamed of who he was. Instead he was terrified, filled with regret and uncertainty.

A part of him was briefly aware of someone (Bill, he figured) saying they were going to find Eddie before stepping out of the room. A minute or so later, he noticed the others starting to filter out of his dressing room, muttering that they were going to give him some space to breathe and not overcrowd him - they’d wait for him outside. He could only hope that security had managed to get any fans waiting out back to go away - normally he didn’t mind signing autographs or saying hello to people, but after tonight’s show...no. He couldn’t.

You’ve really fucked this up, Tozier.

---

Beverly walked with him as they left, her presence welcome and calming; she didn’t speak, and he was grateful for that - he just knew that she understood, that she was on his side no matter what was to come. Then again, he was sure all the Losers would be there for him no matter what - they were like a family, he sometimes thought, a family of misfits and nobodies that found each other, found a group where they could be themselves.

Fuck, he loved his friends so much.

“You want me to drive?” Beverly asked finally when they reached the car park, looking around; the others were nearby, crowded together and talking amongst themselves. “Or do you have a limo these days, Mr Comedian?”

“Hilarious,” He said dryly. “No, but I have a driver sometimes. I can call him and tell him to head home for the night though.” 

They had nearly reached the others before Richie realized that all of his friends were there.

Eddie was there.

His throat closed up. No, no, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t-

“Eds,” Beverly said softly, giving him a kind smile.

Eddie gave a small nod, hands in his pockets and suddenly looking awkward. “Yeah… Erm… Hi, Richie.”

Everyone was silent. The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife as they all debated what to do, none of them clearly sure of what to say in this situation. Richie tried to meet Eddie’s eye, only to find the other man staring at the floor resolutely; anxiety and worry gnawed at Richie’s insides at the sight. 

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of awkwardness, Mike cleared his throat and looked around at everyone. “How about we go grab a drink?” He prompted. “You know, to celebrate.”

“Sounds like a good idea, Mikey,” Bill sighed with relief, quickly glancing at Richie and Eddie. 

“We’re all booked in the same hotel, right?” Beverly decided quickly, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “How about we go for a drink at the bar? That way none of us need to worry about driving or trying to find our way home.”

The others murmured in agreement, though it was clear that things were still awkward. As they started to make their way out of the car park, Stan and Bill navigating and leading the way, Richie noticed Beverly’s hand leave his arm; before he could question her, however, he found himself face-to-face with Eddie - immediately his throat felt dry, voice mysteriously gone for once in his life.

“Richie.” Eddie’s expression was hard to read; he didn’t seem angry but he didn’t seem happy or pleased either, just...carefully neutral. “Look, we need to… We need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Richie managed. “I guess so.”

Eddie hesitated for a second or two before turning to call to the others over his shoulder. “We’ll meet you guys there.”

None of the other Losers commented on this; instead, Bill merely nodded and gestured in the direction that they were heading. “Sure. Take your time.”

As soon as their friends were far away enough not to overhear, Eddie looked at Richie pointedly. “Is there somewhere private we can go or…?”

“Err… Dressing rooms might still be open?” 

“And we won’t be overheard?”

“No. I have a private dressing room, dude.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at this but gestured back towards the theatre. “Alright, fine. Lead the way, Trashmouth.”

Weirdly enough, the nickname made him feel more comfortable - it was almost like nothing had changed, like he didn’t just admit in front of hundreds of people that he was in love with this man, like he didn’t admit it in front of said man. For a moment, Richie allowed himself to think that everything would be fine; they’d talk it out, maybe be able to laugh it off, and it would be good. Not great, to be honest, but better than this hiding and lying.

---

Thankfully security had allowed him to go back to his dressing room, under the guise that he had “forgotten” something, and they didn’t ask about Eddie accompanying him - awkward questions would have made it much more humiliating for all parties involved, he thought. Richie wasted no time in opening the dressing room door to let Eddie in before closing and locking it for good measure, just to be sure that they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Here, urgh… You take the chair, I can sit on the table,” He offered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie brushed off, crossing his arms and suddenly avoiding his eye. “I’m kinda too nervous to sit.”

“Oh. Thank fuck, me too.”

He noticed Eddie’s lips quirk upwards, as if he was trying not to let himself smile - that was definitely a good sign. He waited for the other man to speak first, partly to be fair but also because, frankly, he had no idea what to say.

“So… Congrats on coming out?” Eddie finally offered - and then they both burst into laughter. “Fuck, that sounds so dumb.”

“Yeah, but it’s kinda cute,” Richie chuckled before he could stop himself - and then he froze up again. “I mean… I don’t mean…”

Eddie seemed to realize what he meant and his smile faded. “Right. That.”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Richie said quickly. “I should have told you in private or something, not on a fucking stage in a stand-up routine. I mean, I was going to imply that I’m gay as fuck, that was planned, but I wasn’t going to just put it out there like that, it just happened. And shit, I wasn’t even intending on saying all that about you, but I saw you sitting in the front row and… Jesus, Eddie, I just saw you laughing and I-”

“Richie,” Eddie interrupted, and the other man fell silent. “Look, man, this is all… Okay. Alright.” He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What you said during the show about me…about how you feel...you meant it.”

Richie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I meant it.”

“Since we were kids?” Eddie continued, waiting for the other man to nod. “Okay… Richie, I swear to God, if this is some practical fucking joke or whatever - something for you to get laughs or make fun of me or whatever dumb shit goes through your head - then I will punch you in the face right fucking now.”

“What? No, no this isn’t a fucking joke!” Richie retorted, almost offended by this accusation. “You think I would say all that shit on-stage in front of hundreds of fucking people just for a joke?! Fuck off.”

“Okay, okay, I know, I’m sorry, I just… It’s a lot to take in,” Eddie muttered. When his friend didn’t say anything, he cast a look at him, seeming to study his face, before sighing. “Rich, I’m not about to turn around and start screaming slurs at you just because you had a crush on me.”

“I didn’t-”

“I can see it on your face, dumbass. Richie,” He leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re my friend - one of my best friends, actually. Nothing you say could make me hate you...well, not anymore than I do already.”

Richie gave a small, pained laugh, though the relief was evident on his face. “Right. Yeah. Thanks, Eds.”

For a long moment that seemed to stretch on for a lifetime, neither of them said anything else; Eddie’s hand remained on Richie’s shoulder, the taller man just looking at him gratefully. There was still a nagging feeling within him, something eating up at his insides and wondering if Eddie was just hiding any anger or disgust, maybe he just didn’t want to ruin a good night; they still hadn’t really addressed the whole “hey, I’m in love with my best friend Eddie” thing either, that could be awkward-

“Me too.”

Richie blinked. “What?”

Eddie’s hand fell away, and he merely just shrugged as he looked away from Richie. “Me too. I’m...I’m gay.”

“Oh. Oh. Eddie…”

“During the divorce proceedings with Myra, I...I started to think,” He continued, almost to himself. “Actually, it was before that, before I even left Derry. I would hate myself, you know, for every time I looked at a cute guy too long, every time I thought they were handsome in their best clothes or whatever. I’d push it away because I’d think it was not okay, that I was being disgusting or dirty or…”

Richie was stunned by this, suddenly at a loss for words. “Dirty? Come on, dude, you’re like the cleanest asshole I know - there’s not a microbe of dirt or whatever the fuck on you.”

“Hilarious. Really.” But Eddie wasn’t smiling. “Look, ever since the day we...we defeated IT, I’ve thought about it. I have. I thought about you helping me out before that fucking nightmare of a house collapsed, thought about you dragging my ass to hospital and demanding I get immediate attention, about how brave you were that day. After that I decided that I wanted to be brave too - you made me want to be brave and stand up for myself.” He paused. “That sounds cheesey as fuck, I know, but it’s true. And tonight, when you were telling your own jokes, stuff you’d written and worked hard on, I realized it again - that I want to be brave. I don’t want to be scared to admit it.”

“Really?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah. But there’s something else, Rich...the only person I told before now is Bev, and that’s because she guessed, you know? She could tell, but I also knew she’d listen and not judge.” He took a deep breath. “When I was in the hospital, every time I woke up, you were there - you refused to leave me. The others would be there too, usually taking turns, but you didn’t do that - you were always there. And before that, when we were stuck in that fucking thing’s lair, I saw you…” His voice failed for a moment, and he hurriedly looked away. “Fuck, Richie, you were under the deadlights and I...I thought I was going to lose you. I couldn’t bear it, Rich - I just couldn’t. I had to do something, I had to save you even if it meant putting myself in danger.”

“Well…” Richie wasn’t sure what to say - this wasn’t how he imagined this conversation going at all. “It worked. I’m not dead.”

“No, I know. But do you get what I’m trying to say, Richie?” Eddie asked anxiously. “Why I’m telling you all this?” 

“I dunno, man,” Richie said dazedly, trying not to get his hopes up - he couldn’t, he couldn’t let himself think one thing and be brought down when it was not true, not if he could help it. “This whole night has been a clusterfuck for me, and I’m not entirely convinced I’m not high and hallucinating right now.”

It wasn’t true - he hadn’t been high in nearly five years, and he’d given up excessive drinking after reuniting with the Losers. He knew Eddie knew that already, but it was the first excuse he found himself latching onto.

“Jesus Christ, Richie.” The smaller man rolled his eyes but remained otherwise serious. “I’m trying to say that I’ve...I’ve liked you since we were kids too. Loved you, actually. God knows why since you’re an idiot who annoys the shit out of me, but damn it, I love you, Richie Tozier.”

“…Fuck.”

“I was never going to tell you,” Eddie admitted, folding his arms and looking rather uncomfortable. “Even though I decided I was going to try to be brave, that I wasn’t going to keep up with a sham of a marriage, I thought that you weren’t…you know. And I thought that even if you were, then I’d be the last one you’d want to be with.” Strangely, he gave a smile. “Fucking dumb, right?”

Richie nodded. “Very fucking dumb. Jesus, Eddie, do you not see the way I’ve been looking at you? Fuck, there’s been days you’ve given me boners in public just because I was thinking about you.”

“Urgh, too much information, asshole,” Eddie huffed – but the affection behind it was obvious, his facial expression softening. “So…where does this leave us, Richie? What happens next?”

“Next?” Richie considered this. “Well, being honest, I’d love to take you out and do this shit properly, but…”

“But?”

He hesitated, giving the other man a surprisingly serious look. “But that’s your choice – if you wanna stay friends, I respect that.”

To his surprise, Eddie huffed before stepping forwards; before Richie could say anything else, he was being kissed firmly on the mouth, hands cupping his face and pulling him close. He wasted no time in closing his eyes and kissing him back, his heart soaring as his entire body came alive.

For the first time all night, the panic and anxiety that had set him on edge flowed away completely: all he felt was exhilaration and relief – and love, love for this man in his arms. Suddenly it didn’t matter about what anyone else thought – whether ‘fans’ would send him hate online, how this could impact his entire career, his manager hounding him with how much he’d regret this – because none of it was important, not as important as this, as finally being able to hold the person he loved, who he’d always loved, and being able to be open with himself as well as those closest to him.

Yeah, Richie thought to himself blissfully, he didn’t regret his decision in the slightest.

[mikewheeler]

hi! this is out of my comfort zone really by doing this, but i needed to say something and you’re the first account i thought couple help! but i’ve been a very forward and strong mileven shipper for years now. i’ve been able to handle backlash through reason, i’ve never worried about b*lers, let alone paid them much attention. but after volume two, everything shifted. between the hate mike got at the start for merely voicing the love he’s had for the girl he’s always loved, to the complete 180 shift of people strongly believing he’s gay for Will again, it’s just incredible. it’s inescapable. im mostly on twitter, which i’d say was a reasonably good place for milevens. it’s now turned into a whole other world. mostly infiltrated by kids who claim to want rep, which i fully support and understand as a queer person myself, but who do it in exchange for misogyny and ableism. people who claim to love el yet want her heartbroken. and while this post is a rant, it’s also one of concern, and i’d love to hear from someone as reasonable as you. im firm in my beliefs and my love for mileven, but the duffers have always loved their fan service, and this is unlike anything i’ve seen since fandoms like Sherlock or Supernatural. Essentially, my question is, do you think the duffers will give into this fan service? clearly the reasonable answer would be no, you don’t ruin a 4 season build up like mileven for the sake of fan service. But i’d be lying if I said the sudden influx of B*ler shippers and the likes they’ve been getting isn’t shocking. So what I’m trying to say is, as Mileven shippers, do you think we need to be worried for season 5? I can’t believe im even saying this; i wouldn’t have thought it feasible even a year ago, but the public response is almost intimidating. All the best, and sorry for this dump!

Hi friend! Welcome! First, I want to say thank you for censoring b*ler, because it allows me to answer your ask! There have been asks I have received before that I couldn't answer, though I wanted to, because I didn't want the ask to go into the b**ler tag and intrude on others' space.

Secondly, the short answer to your question is no. Mike's monologue pretty much cemented mileven's relationship. It made soulmatism canon. I say this all the time, but that relationship has been written in stone from the first episode. Thunder boomed at their first meeting. They stared into each other eyes. And Mike said, out loud, in the finale of season 4, that his life began on the day he met el. Logically, are the Duffers really, in the last season, going to turn back on all of that, on four seasons of development, and say "jk he loves Will now"? No, that would be terrible storytelling lol. Especially when there has been ZERO indication that Mike has had any feelings for Will at all in any of the past four seasons. Also, what precedent would that set moving forward? That artists and creators are not in control of their own narratives? Yuck, no thanks.

If the Duffers respond to the backlash at all, it will probably be to make sure that Will gets a really strong storyline next season, that his coming out moment is delivered with integrity, and that he ends the season happy and maybe even in a secure relationship. I think a lot of the backlash is just wanting to see Will happy. We might also just see less mike/mileven on screen, which is a huge shame, but we already started to see that in season 4.

I completely understand this is a really emotional time for everyone right now. I think a lot of the debate/discussion around this season is completely valid, and a lot of it is not. That's to be expected with a show as popular as stranger things. Just remember that twitter/tumblr/tiktok represents one section of fans. There is a HUGE general audience. My boss watches this show, my coworkers watch this show, my irl friends watch this show. None of these people know what a b*ler is.

The season just came out, the emotions are still fresh, but we have a loooong hiatus ahead of us. This too shall pass. Hang in there and allow yourself to enjoy the amazing moments we got this season because, despite the backlash, the mike & el scenes in 4x08 and 4x09 were truly phenomenal. <3

[kanmom51]

I saw that answer about the whole issue with kpop idols and skinship.

I often see people going on these jikook videos and saying it's skinship because the company tells them to do it (and i never had a problem with that, cause I knew they were so deep into their narrative of them all being straight that it wouldn't make a deference), i countinued reading the comments (cause I like drama) and then i saw them posting a link to this picture

https://images.app.goo.gl/XMvbGmrspPP7CNMg6

I saw a lot of jikookers getting insecure because that picture has some extreme skinship, but one thing they always forget is that this picture is the reason why K-pop companies don't go to far on skinship anymore, to give y'all context: this band was pretty famous back in the day and to keep themselves relevant they often used skinship and one day they went a little bit to far and the whole of Korea draged them for promoting "gay" to a crowd of people and since then companies are scared to try some more spicy skinship, and some times they do it but it's never on the serious tone they that picture, instead of that they always try to make it playful and promote it as something fun like this one here:

https://images.app.goo.gl/BmU6n9tK4GPwqDR8A

they get a lot of backlash for it so they've been really careful about what they put out there.

And now let's talk about BTS and JIKOOK

JIKOOK as some of you might know is Korea's biggest ship to they often get promoted as a pair and Korea's fine with that but what JIKOOK has done has been raising some Korean eyebrows and that's why there's to much k-jikooker, and one thing y'all might not know is that JIKOOK has been getting similar backlash for what they've done at the BLACKSWAN performance and the Dynamite Christmas remix (basically Korean homophobes talking about how it should be between a man and a woman, although some people were pretty supportive about), and I'm not saying that it's a good thing that they're getting hate but it definitely helps people to realize that when i comes to JIKOOK cultural context isn't an excuse for what they do.

And i hate when people say that JIKOOK is just doing fan service because the company tells them, i wonder if these people know that BTS doesn't rely on skinship anymore (they used to rely on that back in the day, as they they grew on fan base and in popularity they just stopped), and even Tae has been distancing himself from making interactions with jungkook because of what happened with the whole taekook thing and the lies, fake narratives and bullshit that they tell.

Don't think BTS rely on skinship too much, because they don't and people need to understand that hatting on jikookers isn't gonna stop Jikook from being loud.

Sorry if it's too long and I hope u got what I mean cause I'm not sure even i do lol.

Hey anon, thank you for your ask. I have seen your first link, but didn't know the backstory here. I have never seen the second link, though I have seen some of those questionable 'games' the idols are expected to play, including BTS in the early days.

You speak of K-army or K-Jikookers, are you one? Cultural context is everything with Jikook, and it would be great to hear some more from someone who is privy to that.

You refer in your ask to skinship, but I think what you really mean is fanservice, no?

Skinship is more about intimate touching between two close platonic friends. It's the hugging, holding hands, playing with each other's hair, back massaging, bum smacking and more, all affectionate, but not intended to be sexual. This is something acceptable among male friends in SK, not only in the K-pop industry.

What stands out with skinship is that it is an acceptable way of showing affection between men, in ways that would be perceived as sexual or inappropriate in other cultures.

Skinship is something BTS do a hell of a lot, not only Jikook (they might even be on the lower scale of obviously touchy feely). The back hugs, the waist hugs, the hand holding, the thigh rubbing and so much more.

Skinship is not about the company selling, it's about showing affection amongst the members.

Then we have fanservice. That is what I think you are actually referring to here.

Fanservice is not necessarily about the interactions between the members. It's about, and I am going to be as blunt as hell here, getting the juices running for the fans. Yuck, I know.

JM tearing his singlet off and dancing shirtless during concerts, JK lifting his shirt during Fake Love (have you heard the screams when that happens??), idols performing with crop tops or shirtless, certain wardrobe choices as see-through shirts, collars etc., those are fanservice.

Using skinship and taking it a few more steps further is also a type of fanservice. Fetishizing it. It's all about creating the 'WANT' in the fans. If the fans 'WANT' the fans will buy. They will buy the albums, they will buy the photo cards, the fans, the whatever merchandise you can think of, because they 'WANT'.

I talked in length about fanservice in a previous ask, and recommend reading it.

Yes, BTS engage in fanservice, and so do JM & JK. No, not everything they do is fanservice. I would even go so far as to say that most of their interactions aren't fanservice.

I can understand how people can get caught in this trap. It's easy to mark everything as fanservice, as some kind of marketing stunt. But the trick is to look beyond the obvious, or what they think the obvious is.

The difference with BTS, and k-pop bands as a whole, is that you have so much more content hours than with Western artists. It's not only the MV, interviews and concerts. You have hours and hours of content, documentaries, live content, game shows etc. They are in front of cameras almost 24/7 and although there is a lot going on off camera, the level of exposure here is enormous. You can't act all the time. You can't hide your real self all the time. So we get to see a big chunk of 'REAL' within this content. Btw, that is also something done for the fans - trying to create a connection on a personal level with the idols.

I digress, and please forgive me for that.

Bottom line is, whoever claims the whole nature of Jikook's interactions and connection is for the sake of fanservice hasn't got the faintest idea what they are talking about. Either they haven't been watching BTS content (not compilations, but original content from over the years), or they are so terrified of the what that relationship may be, of what the true nature of the connection is, that they are wearing their "I don't wanna see no gay here" glasses (again, please forgive the bluntness). Thing is, they are so scared of the implications here, that they need to deny the actual close connection between those two, as something manufactured by the company.

[henderistic]

Your Crush in SVT is Left at The Alter (long post)

(They have a crush on you too)

[Requests open!!!]

A/N: So I actually have a valid excuse as to why this took so long surprisingly, pretty much I’ve had a UTI (tmi, sorry) for the past week, probably more and only found out yesterday, I’m on antibiotics now so I’ll be good as new shortly! Sorry for the wait

Genre: angst, fluff if you read to the end of each member’s reaction

Very Important!

↳ all members in this will like all genders/sexes since I don’t want to leave anyone out, also four members will be gay (picked by a random number generator) in this scenario! P.S. don’t leave your s/o at the alter please

-

S.Coups: Seungcheol, everyone’s favourite teddy bear leader, was currently punching and kicking things as you watched in astonishment, never knowing him to be violent.

It had been a lovely day for a wedding, the sun was shining and it wasn’t too hot, something rare for July. But then again everyday was a good day for a wedding when it came to your friend. He had been anxiously waiting for this day for over two years now and you could see it in his eyes while he was getting ready. His eyes had been sparkling since he had sat down in the stylist’s chair, one he trusted with his life as she had produced an astonishing amount of fan favourite looks. You had been sat in the corner watching him, quietly sulking to yourself when Jeonghan came over, looking at his phone and muttering something about how the groom wanted your approval for his hair and makeup. You took a big breath in and got up, hoping neither boys had noticed your glum expression.

Seungcheol looked at you in the mirror with a gummy smile, “so- how is it? Think carats will go crazy for this one too?” he chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sure they’ll love it, but don’t forget this is your wedding,” you forced a smile. “Hah! It’s mostly her’s really, I just agreed to whatever she said!” It was clear he had noticed your face falter at his comment, a look of concern quickly gracing his face but disappearing as soon as it had begun.

“Anyways, I wanted you to put my boutonnière on, it’s the flowers that go on the lapel,” he told you, almost solemnly. You gave him a grin and began putting them on, well trying was the correct word. You shared hushed giggles before the stylist couldn’t take it anymore and put it on him correctly. As she was doing this you two ended up staring at each other, almost how they do in movies before they kiss. Your moment was ruined though when the loud voice of the wedding coordinator tore through the room, “okay everyone, showtime!”

The entire thing felt like a blur until the bride walked down the aisle, not in her dress but just casual clothes. She marched down the aisle, forcefully grabbing the mic out of the MC’s hand. “I’m sorry to do this to everyone but the wedding’s cancelled. In all honesty I never truly loved him,” she finished, the entire crowd in shock. Knowing Seungcheol would be heartbroken you took him outback for some air.

“How are you holding up?” you asked in a slightly higher pitch than normal, hoping not to upset him at the angriest you’ve ever seen. He let out a ragged sigh and said “how do you think?” You knew it was a rhetorical question so you softly put your hands on his shoulders, giving him the beginnings of a massage. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out at you, it’s not your fault. In fact, I’m glad you’re here because that means I have someone I truly love with me.”

(Gay) Jeonghan: It was a destination wedding, it had to be since gay marriage still wasn’t legal in South Korea. It was beautiful, a winter wedding in Norway with the two grooms paying for flights and accommodations, easy for them with Jeonghan having worked in the Korean music industry for many years and his fiancé being the vice-president to an up and coming company. You were seated in the second row, on your old friend’s side. He looked absolutely dashing in his tuxedo, waiting for his soon-to-be husband to walk down the aisle. You could tell he was nervous just by looking at him, his hair slightly disheveled after running his hands through it so many times and how his eyes could never focus on one place.

Everyone quickly went hush hush and the doors open, revealing the fiancé, his arm wrapped around your friend’s father as his own had disowned him for being gay many years ago. Instead of matching Jeonghan’s beaming expression he had a somber look on his face, as if he was already regretting his choice. Once the crowd saw this whispers were about, the ceremony master having to ‘shhh’ them. As soon as everyone was quiet he began to take uneven steps down the aisle, dread growing more and more apparent on his features the closer he got to the alter.

Suddenly, a voice breaks the music playing, “I can’t do this!” To everyone’s shock, it wasn’t a closeted homophobic guest but Jeonghan’s groom himself, “I can’t risk my career and my family hating me just to marry someone who won’t even be around most of the time!” The now ex-fiancé said before storming off, aggressively unlinking his arm from his ex’s father’s. The music had entirely stopped by now, leaving everyone in stunned silence with gasping faces, yours included. You could tell Jeonghan was fighting back tears, his entire future, gone in a moment, having to deal with the backlash of an entire country worth nothing now but as soon as he saw you in the crowd he called you outside. With your heart fluttering you followed him, he looked around to make sure the coast was clear and asked to kiss you. You weren’t sure what you were thinking but you agreed, thinking deep down you were just a rebound but he knew otherwise.

Joshua: (took some liberties here and went for a Roman Catholic wedding as it’s my religion and I feel Joshua would like to get married in a church but I am biased lol) The hymn “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee” had begun, signalling the large wooden doors to be opened and reveal the procession. First came the cross bearer with a silver cross hoisted onto a wood pole, then came the middle aged priest dressed in mainly white with yellow detailing. After this the rest of the clergy came, then followed the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the ladies dressed in red, knee length dresses with small pieces of matching red fabric on their shoulders, the men in traditional dress suits. After this came the two people of the hour, first came the bride, she was wearing a modest slightly off white dress with a train following behind her like a river, her arm in arm with her father. After that came Joshua, he was with his mother and looked dashing in his tuxedo, with a small boutonnière of red roses on the right side of his chest.

The hymn finished once everyone had made it to the alter, two wooden chairs being brought out for the couple. The mass went normally, the two readings and then the gospel, all of which consisted about something about Christ and his ‘bride’ the church or just love in general. After the gospel, instead of the homily it was the actual wedding ceremony. The priest began asking a few questions before asking the one everyone had been waiting for.

Being asked if she took Joshua to be her husband made her face drop, the entire parish noticing and their smiles being quickly wiped off their face. She began stuttering before saying “I can’t” and running off. Everyone watched her leave, most with mouths wide open in shock. The priest looked solemn as he had to say “I know this doesn’t seem right but we must continue with mass,” motioning for the groom to sit down. Everything was now off, and when the church was called to reply everyone mumbled, except when the priest said “For those who have been wounded both emotionally and physically,” everyone was clear as day when they responded with “Lord hear our prayer.”

After the priest allowed everyone to leave after communion, the music was happy and out of place with everyone having serious looks. The clergy left first, then the parishioners, well most parishioners, Joshua stayed last, along with you. You played with the hem of your skirt/the fabric of your pants before deciding to get up and go over to him. You could tell he had been crying from your place in the church, but getting closer you didn’t realize how much he really had been. You asked softly if you could sit beside him, to which he nodded in agreement, trying to suppress his tears.

You both sat in silence for awhile, you admired the cross hanging on the wall behind the alter, it was large and domineering in a sense. The quite soon became uncomfortable as you could tell how much he was suffering. Trying to comfort him you placed your hand on his thigh, just above his knee, and gave him a sympathetic smile.

He placed his own hand over yours and looked away, breaking the deafening silence with a strained voice, “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered to you.

“Anything for my,” you paused, feeling bitter about the entire situation, “friend.” You had liked Joshua ever since you met him, maybe even loved him, so when you saw his now ex-fiancée run away from him it made your blood boil.

He had spaced out a bit after you said friend, only coming back to reality to say “friend?” You nodded, slightly confused but trying hard not to show it on your face. “Oh,” was his only response.

“Something wrong?” you asked.

“Uh yeah,” he stumbled, “I just thought you thought of me as more,” he laughed it off. At his sudden words you squeezed his hand and he looked at you and smiled in between tears.

Jun: You weren’t sure why he fell for her, in fact not even the media knew. The person in question was Jun’s fiancée, a seemingly cold hearted woman who only cared about herself and the status her soon-to-be husband brought her. Hell, she didn’t even seem interested in learning Jun’s native language. You tried to push these thoughts out of your head, you really did, while walking into the wedding hall and finding your place. It didn’t help that Jun had been your long time crush, he was so wonderful and kind, always caring more about others than himself, the complete opposite of his new bride.

Your thoughts were cut short though when the groom saw you and rushed over. He clearly wanted to greet you with a hug but looking behind him nervously and going for a smile and handshake instead. “Hey! I’m so glad you could make it,” his voice bright, although he continued in a whisper saying “really sorry you aren’t one of my best (wo)men but my lovely lady wouldn’t allow it.” You really had to bite your tongue before you said anything to cause a rift in your friendship, he truly was headover heels with this girl. “That’s fine,” you forced out a smile, “oh look at the time, you should go get in position!” He thanked you and made a comment about how he didn’t know how he could live without his human clock.

It had been over an hour and the bride had been a no-show, Jun was sitting down and so were the rest of the wedding party, you knew at this rate they wouldn’t be able to complete the ceremony and get married and it looked like he knew that too. After five more minutes of waiting he told everyone he would try calling her, excusing himself outside. After another five minutes of waiting and now Jun was no where in sight you went to find him. Once you found him you came across a heart wrenching scene, it was the man who you felt like you had know for eternity crying, throwing his ring like you would throw a ball for a dog to catch.

“Isn’t that expensive?” you chimed in, hoping you could help him in some way, “so what if it is? She clearly doesn’t care about me,” he sobbed, pulling you into a hug. You decided enough was enough and to stop being so proper, “I know it’s probably the worst thing to say at the moment but I’ll never understand why you love that woman.” Jun looked you in the eyes with a heartbroken look, “I guess she always was just a rebound from being scared to admit my feelings to you...”

Hoshi: Everytime they looked at each other they practically had love eyes, it was almost sickening. So when the news of their engagement broke, everyone was happy, or in your case feigning excitement. You were truly happy for Soonyoung, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that when you had met the Seventeen boys Hoshi had been your bias for months, and it came as no shock to you that you had a crush on him in an instant. He was even nicer and humble, not to mention handsome, than what was portrayed on camera. That was 5 years ago, and him and his fiancée had been dating for 3 years, known each other for 4, so you couldn’t help but be jealous of her.

You current situation wasn’t any better, in fact it was worse, she had brought you along to all the bridal appointments and were now helping her get ready because you were Soonyoung’s closest friend that was tight lipped enough to not tell everyone else about the planning. You sat behind her, trying to fix her hair into a neat fishtail braid, something you had learned from your friends back home, and were having to use all the self control you had to not ruin everything for her. Her dress was beautiful, her makeup was beautiful, everything about her was elegant today and you couldn’t help but feel some self pity about it. Having just completed the braid, a loud iPhone alarm goes off, signifying that it was go time.

You sat in the pews, looking at the bouquets that one could’ve mistaken for paintings and admiring the white wedding arch decorated with small clusters of baby’s breath and fake cabbage butterflies. The entire cathedral was a site to behold, but even the scenery didn’t take away from the bride’s beauty, wearing a mermaid dress with a long train of crinoline. Even though she looked stunning, there was a sense of discomfort on her face. Soonyoung could see it clear as day on her and mouthed to her ‘what’s wrong,’ she just shook her head and walked out, dropping her bouquet of white roses. The crowd gasped in shock, and looked at him with anticipation, expecting him to run after her but all he did was sit down next to you in the front row and sigh.

It had been twenty minutes of a stuffy uncomfortableness lingering in the air that guests began to come to terms with the fact the woman of the hour wasn’t coming back. As they left in droves, your best friend turned from his position of counting the tiles by his feet to look at you. “Y/N,” he sighed, “do you want to go on a date?” his eyes widened at his own suggestion, “I’m not using you as a rebound if that’s what you think, I just know that you’ve had a crush on me since we’ve met and really I’ve come to really appreciate you,” he trailed off. You smiled and held his hand, nodding your head to silently agree.

(Gay) Wonwoo: You were happy he was happy, that was true, but you upset that the reason he was so happy was because he was marrying someone other than you. They made a cute couple, no one would deny it, not even you, but it was still hard to have your long-term crush not recognize your feelings.

It was the day of the wedding, you were getting ready after purchasing the attire you planned on wearing tonight, grief clearly making your time management skills go out the window.

“If Wonwoo was here he would’ve reminded me to get it earlier,” you sighed. He truly was your lifeline whenever life got stressful, always reminding you to eat and even shower, often times he would tell you to bring your laundry over so you could do it together and as a bonus you wouldn’t have to pay for it like you normally would. It hadn’t been like that in awhile, making you crave it even more. In fact, he didn’t really speak to you after his boyfriend proposed to him, it was like he wanted to distance himself from you. It was hard focusing on making yourself look presentable with all these thoughts floating around in your head, but you managed to do so on time, and putting the last finishing touches on your hair you got your wallet and/or purse and walked out the door, not forgetting to lock it or else your now distant best friend would scold you.

The wedding was being held at a fancy hotel, complete with valet and a young blonde woman greeting all the guests and checking to make sure they were actually invited. After she had confirmed you belonged here, she gave you directions to the banquet hall the ceremony was taking place. As soon as you walked in you knew you were in the right place, watching as Jeonghan took out the camera he was toting around and zoomed in on a plate of ham, BooSeokSoon rooting him on. You were making your way over to them before a light tap on your right shoulder alerted you that someone wanted your attention.

Turning around you find Wonwoo, looking nervous and a little red, “how do I look?” he asked shyly. He was clad in black dress pants with a blue dress shirt and a suit jacket matching his pants, his hair was curly and he had on those iconic circular glasses instead of his regular contacts.

“Wonder-fabulous,” you sounded breathless. He giggled at your choice of words, and hid his face under his hand, trying to instinctively bundle up his shirt material to make those cute sweater paws you fell in love with. You stood like that for a moment, just staring at each other and smiling before he was called over by the aforementioned Ham Recorders.

You watched him rush over there and sigh when he was out of ear shot. It was nice the whole event was informal since no one could officiate their wedding and make it legal but at the same time it was even more difficult as this meant you got to interact with your best friend more than in an official ceremony.

You made your way to the buffet only to be surprised when you arrived and saw who the head that was talking to your mutual friends.

“Oh, I didn’t know Wonwoo invited you,” the fiancé said. It’s not that you two had any true bad blood in between you, it’s just that both of you couldn’t stand each other but tried to get along for your friend’s sake. He quickly excused himself and you were left alone again, happy to gather your food.

You had just begun eating when the blonde lady from the front of the hotel came up to you and asked if you had seen the second groom, you looked confused and she said that he was last seen with you. You said no and she left to tell Wonwoo the bad news. You watched her leave and saw that after she told him he made a b-line straight for you.

He looked surprisingly calm for the situation he was in, something normal for him but you would’ve thought even something like this would make him crack. It wasn’t until he whispered into your ear “it’s okay if he left, I’ve got you and that’s all I need,” before sending a discreet wink.

Woozi: “Hey, how are you holding up?” You really didn’t know why you even bothered to ask, his ex fiancée had left him at the altar, who would be okay after that experience? Too caught up in your thoughts you didn’t hear the furious scribbling stop until you heard a sound of indifference come from Jihoon.

“Look, I know that whenever you’re dealing with something you throw yourself into your work but please, talk to me,” you told him as you tip toed over. He put his pencil down and looked at you after you sat down beside him, the pain in his face evident. “I just don’t feel like talking about it right now,” he sighed. Woozi was always strong headed so you knew that trying to pry his lips open would never work, settling on putting your chin on his shoulder as he went back to work. He pushed his notebook away and got out his computer, opening up whatever program he used to make music, he had told you several times but you had already forgotten.

You watched him as he diligently worked, not saying anything. The song was a ballad, that you could tell just from the instruments he was using and the slow pace of the song. He had played the small clip so many times in the past hour, making minor adjustments each play, that you would surely remember the part for the rest of your life.

Bored out of your mind you took a look at his opened notebook and read the lyrics, trying to picture how he would fit them into the song. You were so focused on trying to imagine the final product that you almost didn’t see the message of the song, it was about his situation but there was a twist, his true soulmate was there trying to comfort him. You began to softly smile, still looking at his chicken scratch handwriting. Jihoon must’ve noticed this and began blushing a bright pink hue.

“Is this about us?” you asked quietly, he just nodded at you and looked away with a grin on his face.

Dokyeom: It was currently raining, but that wasn’t the thing that had dampened Seokmin’s mood, in fact “dampened” wasn’t even a good word for it, his mood was completely drenched by the fact he had just found out the woman he was supposed to marry had been cheating on him since they had gotten engaged. Really, the rain just added to his already sour emotions.

You had your arm around him as he recounted all the times she had acted suspiciously, light tears coming out. You looked around and saw everyone cleaning up and knowing he had always been a busy body with too much energy you suggested you both help. He didn’t even bother to look at you as he shook his head, eyes transfixed on the ground. “I need someone to make it fun though,” you trailed off, hoping he would agree. Seokmin let out a sigh and got up before shuffling over to a chair. You hadn’t known him to be religious but it looked as if he were praying, and so you decided not to disturb him again.

You picked up a flower arrangement, admiring it, and took it over to a woman who seemed to have become the de facto florist. “I’ve never seen him like this before,” she whispered to you, all you could do was nod in agreement. Seeing that, she only gave you a sympathetic grin and pointed over to the row of chairs Seokmin was sitting in, asking you to take off the decorations on the back of them.

You took the white sheets with brightly coloured ribbon off one by one, resting them in the crease of your arm. Once you got to Dokyeom you tried to carefully take off the decor without disturbing him but he piped up before you could even touch it, “can I admit something? And promise not to run away,” he said in shaky voice.

Confused, you responded, “I promise.”

“I love you Y/N”

Mingyu: You got off the bus, bidding a small “thank you” to the driver and made your way to the Seventeen dorm. Very few members were still living there, in fact it was barely a dorm anymore, more just a few roommates living together but that’s where you hoped to find Mingyu as he wasn’t at his house. He had been left at the alter a couple of weeks back and was now very distraught, the last time you had seen him he wouldn’t stop cleaning your house even though you had invited him over to relax. He was always like that, he liked to clean and found it reduced his stress, a very desirable trait in a partner. That wasn’t his only desirable trait though, or at least you thought so, he was tall and handsome, plus he knew how to cook, true husband material.

The walk was fairly short, although the cool spring weather you hadn’t dressed for made it feel like an eternity. You arrived at the apartment complex and punched in their number, a loud bzzz! coming from the machine to alert you had been allowed access. You walked up the five flights of stairs, even though they now lived in Gangnam the elevator seemed to be always broken. Winded, you knocked on their door to have Jeonghan greet you, it was only him, Vernon, Seungkwan and Jun, everyone else had moved out because they wanted more space and privacy, like Minghao, or they had a spouse, like Seungcheol who got married last fall. All the remaining boys had their reasons for staying, and with so few people left everyone had their own room.

“Looking for Mingyu?” Jeonghan asked, you nodded, “he’s in Vernon’s bedroom cleaning. I miss having him do all the chores sometimes, it’s just too bad it has to be for such a sad reason.”

You made your way to Hansol’s room, giving Seungkwan a short wave since he was having a conversation with someone you presumed to be from Jeju as he was speaking in dialect. You got to the back room and knocked, the owner answering the door. “Mingyu,” Vernon looked back in his direction, “Y/N is here.”

“Oh Y/N! I’m so glad you’re here, you can help me orgina-“ you cut him off, “Mingyu, I think you should take a break.”

He pushed the shirts he had been folding and looked at you, you looked back and heard the door close quietly. When he heard the door as well he began to look nervous, prompting you to ask him if he was okay.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said, you raised your eyebrows in suspicion, “okay maybe I’m not- but it’s not for the reason you think.”

“Oh?” was the only answer your brain could form, “I guess it’s because I’m here, alone with you. You know after she left me I took a moment to myself and I realized you’ve always been there for me you know? And I’m so thankful for that and I-“

“Mingyu, is this a confession?” you asked him, shocked. He shyly smiled and nodded.

Minghao: They has absolutely nothing in common and had you not known better you would’ve thought it was an arranaged marriage. It didn’t even seem like they were in love really, they spent all their time apart, her with her friends and Minghao with you. His fiancée didn’t seem to mind though, as she spent many hours with people she was attracted to.

It came as no shock that when she had called off the wedding just days before hand and he didn’t seem phased, although the attendees and media sure as hell were. Now here you were, sitting on the couch in his living room as he scrolled through his phone. You stared at him, wondering how he remained so stone faced.

“Staring isn’t polite Y/N,” he said with a cheeky grin, still on his cell phone, you rolled your eyes at his comment and he laughed, shaking the whole house in a pleasant way. Clearly, he was paying some sort of attention to you.

“I just don’t get how you can be so unaffected, she left you days before the wedding for God’s sake,” you half mumbled, taking a sip of your water with lemon and ice, he only shrugged at you and proceeded to put his phone down. It looked like he desperately wanted to say something but was holding back.

Finally,he cut the silence, “I guess it’s just easy when you’re actually in love with someone else,” he said, as if it were a fact even the old lady down the road would know. You raised your eyebrows at his comment and asked who. As soon as you asked him he flushed a bright red, trying to divert the topic but only nonsense words would come out of his mouth. Having enough after about thirty seconds of him looking like a fish out of water you picked up your phone and began scrolling through social media.

You heard Minghao take a deep breath so you looked up, only to meet his eyes when he said “I’m in love with you.”

(Gay) Seungkwan: You and Seungkwan had practically been best friends since the second you met, his energetic extroverted personality drawing you in. You had been there for all the ups and downs life threw at him, including dating, so when he told you he was dating his now fiancé you were estatic. Time went on and the two of them got closer and closer, but seeing them like that sparked something in you that had you feeling guilty for the past four years, you fell in love with your best friend. You knew you would never act on the feelings but it pained you to see the two together, this eventually ended up with you acting cold and distant when they were together, which was often.

When the news of the engagement came to light, Seungkwan immediately asked you to be his best man/woman/gnc person. Hearing this, you cried for the entire night. Feeling foolish and knowing it would absolutely break his ever sensitive heart, you agreed. You might have said no had it not been for how delicate he was to his friends and family. Little to both your knowledge that being moral support and attending the fittings wouldn’t be the end of your work, because now you were searching the hotel frantically for a missing man and listening to the constant ringing of a phone trying to contact a person who clearly didn’t want to be found.

Having turned the entire place upside down, and nearly on the brink of tears you had to return to one of the best people you knew and tell him that his fiancé went MIA. You came into the room to find Seungkwan, puffy and red, being comforted by his mother. As soon as he saw your face he knew and began ugly crying. You rushed over and he pulled you into the biggest bear hug while you whisper countless apologies in his ears. After what felt like an eternity you let go of each other to find the room had completely dispersed, leaving only concerned party goers talking to hotel staff. At this point you knew you had to take advantage of the situation and said “I’m so sorry this happened to you, but just know I love you,” purposefully vague. He let out the first smile of the night and told you he loved you too, in whatever way you wanted him to.

Vernon: To say the entire thing was a shit show was a huge understatement, in fact you weren’t sure there were any words that could describe what had just went down. It had started off lovely, a small church in Miami overlooking the water. The two of them had decided on the location as none of Hansol’s American family knew Korean and English was the international language. His fiancée had worn a beautiful princess dress, which she managed to spill champagne on while getting ready for for the wedding, no big deal and she clearly didn’t care since she was already drunk off her ass. Next came the actual event, she had staggered down the aisle, holding onto her father for support, him looking pissed which at the time you assumed was because his little girl was drunk even before the reception. Everything was going fairly well after that, although the fiancée did slur her words quite often but that wasn’t even a problem in comparison to what happened when the priest asked if there were any objections. As soon as he had finished his sentence an old woman, who You later found out to be the bride’s mother yelled throughout the room that she didn’t want her precious daughter marrying some “foreigner.” Before Hansol even had time to object that he was more Korean than American his fiancée agreed and left with her parents.

The sound of Vernon crushing the beer can he had been drinking brought you back to reality and made you look at him. He opened his mouth for a few seconds and took a deep breath in, “hey can I tell you something?” You slightly smiled at him and nodded, “anytime.” He closed his eyes and paused for a moment, “maybe it’s best she left because I still haven’t gotten over my feelings for you,” this statement made your heart race at 100 miles per hour and your face light up with elation, “is that so?” you questioned. “Uh yeah, I-I hope that’s okay,” he stated in a startled tone, beginning to look away, before he could though you caught his chin and just stared at him with a smile, unable to form words.

(Gay) Dino: It had just been revealed that the man Chan was supposed to marry, although unofficially, was already married to a woman. The entire crowd was gobsmacked and silent, including the groom who wasn’t cheating. The air was heavy, like the maximum of 300 people had a 1000 in it. It made sense though, everyone had just watched the man that had lied and quite possibly cheated walk out of the wedding hall after revealing such a revelation.

You had always known Chan had a bit of a temper, at times it could even be attractive, but he only made things worse when he said “that’s fine! I love someone else anyways!” to his ex fiancé while he was leaving. Everyone was uncomfortable, but something supernatural was forcing them to stay. After about fifteen minutes, when everyone had come back down to earth, people started to quietly pack up and leave.

Once all the guests had left Dino was just standing there, staring at the ground lifeless like a porcelain doll. You hadn’t left as you thought it would be quiet rude to leave someone so vulnerable, not to mention he was your best friend. You began walking up to him and he started to slowly function, but only in a robotic manner. Taking his shoulders you guide him to sit down while he was still staring at the floor.

Once you’re both in a more comfortable position he looks at you and pipes up, “you know, I wasn’t lying when I said I loved someone else.”

You looked at him, nearly uncomfortable at his confession and tried to tell him through body language to go on. Chan took the hint, “um- well I don’t know if you want to hear it,” he tried laughing it off.

“Well you can’t just tell me that bombshell and not expect me to ask questions,” you said in a quieter than usual whisper, almost as if you were trying to keep the wind outside from hearing you both.

“Well, you’re the ‘someone else’ I’m talking about.”

[bittysvalentines]

Gonna Make This Place Your Home

From: @lizards-online​

To: @dellessanna

Kent set a box down in the foyer with a huff. He and Tater had finally both retired and decided to get a house in Providence together and really settle down. They had done the “fall in love & get married” thing several years back. Now all they needed was a home, a dog, and 2.5 kids and they would be set living the American suburbia dream. Well, as much as two gayhockey players could.

The sun was just getting high in the sky, as beams beat down through the skylight. Kent could handle heat after all the years of playing Las Vegas, but he never did enjoy the humidity of east coast summers, even when he was a kid. As he wiped the sweat off his brow, he heard his husband as he stepped through the threshold carrying one end of a very large sectional.

“Move Kenny, we are needing to get your oversized couch in!” Tater hollered as he walked backwards through the entryway.

“Seriously, this thing is heavy!” Swoops grunted, carrying the other end of the L shaped sectional

“Hey, aren’t you two professional athletes?” Kent chided, shoving the boxes they had already carried into the side so as to make way. “Fuck off Parser, lifting a couch is not the same as passing a puck” “Intelligent observation there Troy,” Snowy stood behind both men a decently sized box labeled ‘Bedroom’. 

“By the way Tater, I swear to god if what I’m carrying is a box of sex shit you’re gonna pay so many fines.”

“Cannot fine if retired!” Tater called out in a sing-song voice from the family room where he and Swoops were setting down the couch. “Besides,” he grinned, returning to the foyer “we already move sex stuff in first.” Snowy rolled his eyes as he began to climb the staircase to the second floor. “T.M.I. man. T.M.I” Kent smiled to himself observing the scene around him. He never did imagine his life going this way. He never thought he would be allowed to have this: a gorgeous loving husband, a group of supportive friends whom he was out to, and as of this past season, the ability to retire on his own terms.

He had always imagined he would play as long as the league would let him, and then once he was outed by an ex, a hookup, Deadspin or whatever, he would take his hockey money and disappear from the public eye. He didn’t want to be branded as “the gay hockey player” or the other gay hockey player”.

But, a lot had changed the year Jack came out on the ice. The media backlash that hit him was harsher than he expected at first: reporters cornering him on his morning run to ask him for his comment or opinion, social media blowing up with pictures of Kent and Jack from the Q he didn’t even know existed, and wilder and wilder speculations being thrown his way through way of news reports and “investigative reporters” (read: busybodies with no sense of personal space or human decency).

It was all made more difficult by the fact that Jack had not warned him in any way shape or form that he was going to come out on public television in front of thousands of screaming fans right after winning the Stanley Cup. Jack and Kent later spoke about the event at length, with the former apologizing for the lack of communication. But not much could be done at that point. Kent had already been thrown under the metaphorical gay bus.

Much to Kent’s surprise however, his organization was willing to support him after all that had happened. His GM, Grant, met him at the gym two days after the fact, saying to him “If there’s something you want to tell me, tell me in your own time, but I’ll make sure the organization is there for you when you do” He came out the next day, posting a picture of Kit sitting in Alexei’s lap (with his permission) with the caption saying “tfw ur cat ignores u for ur man.”

Kent was quickly brought out of his reminiscent reverie by the force of two children knocking him over. “Liv, Ricky, you’re here earlier than expected. Did your dads let you skip out on camp today to help your Uncle Tater and I move in?”

Olivia Marie Bittle-Zimmermann, and Richard James Bittle-Zimmermann were Jack and Eric’s 5 year old twins. Both had deep brown eyes like their Daddy and the striking dark hair of their Papa. Kent swore they got bigger and bigger every single time he and Alexei saw them. “Uncle Kenny Uncle Kenny! Daddy’s gonna let me carry boxes,” Olivia squealed in delight, pulling on Kent to get up.

“I wanted to go to camp, but I also wanna see Uncle Tater,” Ricky was only slightly pouting but Kent could tell it was just for show.

“Why not me too you little bugger? Favoring Uncle Tater over me?” Kent gasped, in faux offense. Ricky smiled and ran off to find his favorite of the two.

Standing up to his full height, Kent picked up Olivia and popped her onto his side. “What took you two old men so long? We’ve already brought most of the boxes in.”

“I’m younger n’ you Kent Parson, so watch your tongue. We got held up.” Eric Bittle Zimmermann stood at the entryway referring to the two sizable pieces of tupperware containing what Kent hoped to be pie. Blueberry for Tater and chocolate mousse for himself. “I’m gonna go set these down before I grab some boxes.”

“Kitchen’s that way” Kent pointed down the hall to the left, setting Olivia down. “Why don’t you go help your Uncles carry stuff into the kitchen kiddo?” Jack walked in a moment later, carrying one of the few boxes left in the truck. It was labeled ‘Kitchen’. “Bits wanted to make sure y’all had pie for when everything was unpacked.”

“Lookat you Zimms, using ‘y’all’ like a born and bred southerner” “Haha yeah, after being with Bits so long it just slips out.” “I’ll quit chirping you man, but here, I’ll show you where to take that.” Kent led the way to the kitchen, carrying his own box he had set down earlier. Entering into the kitchen Kent saw Swoops and Snowy sitting criss-cross applesauce on the ground with Olivia and Ricky playing patty cake amongst the assorted boxes. His heart softened at the sight. He really did love those kids as if he were their biological uncle. He set down the box on the counter and walked up to his husband to give him a small kiss. “Hey babe. We’re almost done” Alexei in turn picked Kent up and placed a fat kiss on Kent’s cheek. Both of the twins made a face “Ewww” “Is good. Is getting too hot to lift” Alexei said, putting Kent down. “I swear y’all are so weak, it ain’t even 85 and you’re complaining.” Eric was on the opposite end of the counter, taking plates and silverware out of boxes. “Bits you say that as if you don’t put on a hat and gloves when it’s not even 10 degrees out” Jack chirped from the other end of the kitchen, taking a blender out of the box closest to him. Eric made a comment under his breath about Jack’s use of Celsius. “Both of you quit unpacking. Lyosha and I can take care of that later. Let’s just pause for a moment and dig into whatever Bits brought. I’m starving” Jack set down the blender and Eric placed the plates down on the counter. “I was gettin them to put the food on.” “C’mon Bitty we can just use our hands” Snowy called from the floor. Ricky was sitting in his lap messing with Snowy’s phone and nodded his head fiercely in agreement. “Yeah, no need to fuss Eric.” Swoops was right next to him with Olivia in his lap. She was wearing Swoops’ cap backwards and nodding reverently as if to agree. Eric shook his head in disagreement. “I swear once a hockey player, always a hockey player. Y’all are heathens and we are using plates.” “But Daddy!” The twins called simultaneously from the floor. Kent smiled. “C’mon now you two, gotta listen to your Dad, otherwise, he won’t let you have any pie. Even if he is taking the fun out of eating” “Kent V. Parson, I swear!” Later that night after the pie had been eaten and a good percentage of the boxes had been unpacked, Kent sat in bed next to his husband, replaying the events of the day over in his head. The image of the twins running around the house, playing and having fun caused Kent to feel a tinge inside. He wondered what it would be like if they had their own kids. It was the first time he’d given serious thought on the matter. He never allowed himself to imagine having a husband, a house and well, happiness. But now, he let himself imagine. He imagined tons of kids, smiling, calling him Dad. It made something in him warm, but it also frightened him. Kent had never had a relationship with his father. He didn’t even know the first thing of taking care of kids. Would he even be a good dad? “котенок, you thinking so loud. Keep me up. What is wrong?” Alexei sat up and turned to face Kent in their bed, interrupting his negative train of thought. “Lyosha have you ever thought about...having kids?” Kent sat up and faced his husband. Alexei paused for a moment. “Yes, many times. Did not think could though. Because of-” “Because of the gay thing” Kent cut him off. “But, like if you wanted, well, we’re both retired now. And we have this bigass house. We could adopt a few. Or maybe get a surrogate.” Alexei hummed and pulled Kent into a hug. “I’m liking that idea. We talk more about it tomorrow. It’s been long day.” He kissed Kent and laid back down on the bed. Kent laid back down on the bed and smiled, closing his eyes. Suddenly, he opened one and smirked, “Hey what’s that thing straight people in movies say when they talk about having kids? ‘Let’s start now?’” Alexei looked at Kent “Well…”

[whiskeyshotsintheparkinglot]

Hmm....whoaky.  Here we have Waterparks tackling the age old punk rock conundrum of being one of the few music genres where fans will actively hold success against you.  I could write a dissertation about this phenomenon but let's just assume you already know what I'm talking about and what this song is getting at.  And if you don't...well, I don't know, fucking read it anyway and maybe you'll just pick up on the context clues. This is a tricky song because Awstin Night (Aweston Knight? Austin Nite? Awstun Knite?) is smart and sneaky.  This song is really about two things.  One is the general shitty confines of punk rock and the backlash received for any amount of commercial success and attempting anything outside of genre parameters.  The other part is about fucking Waterparks and the backlash they got for putting out a shitty album. But Knight (Nite? Night?) weaves them together in his lyrics like the struggles bands have had for decades are somehow related to the negative feedback his band has received for some of the shit they've put out. And he also kind of implies its fans inability to appreciate his artistic experimentation that has held them back.  Slow down bro.  First of all, I don't even know if you can still bitch about mainstream acceptance/fan sell-out accusations/other well-worn tropes.  We've had bands like AFI, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Panic! At The Disco, Rise Against, and on and on that have managed real mainstream success while keeping its fans, so the argument almost feels pointless now.  Like someone on a soapbox screaming they don't care what anyone says, gay marriage is totally ok and should be accepted, and you're like "Well, yeah man, it's like already legal in most places and people don't really seem to have a problem with it anymore so...don't really know why you even brought it up". And you know what all those bands had in common?  They put out stellar music for a prolonged period of time.  Waterparks has yet to put out two good albums in a row...so maybe relax.  The culture isn't holding you back, your label isn't holding you back and your fans aren't holding you back.  You just haven't put out material worthy of the praise and success you think you deserve. Pretty good song though.

Waterparks - Watch What Happens Next

I wanna be a millionaire before I’m 30 But saying that out loud is probably gonna hurt me. Got nothing from our label. Bitch, pay me what you owe me. If you play guitar you can’t want things And if you really love me, You should want the best for me. Everyone is sad when When bands break up, Well, guess guess guess guess what? They’re defeated as fuck. Shamed out of money By their own culture Nice to fucking meet you, Let’s get a little see-though. (Watch What Happens Next)

I like cool shirts I like cold rings I want a big house I want nice things. I want jet packs for all my friends That want a big house And want nice things.

You don’t love me the same. It’s such a fucking shame I don’t deserve as much As all your pop faves. You wanna hear my art But only on your terms So learn these fucking words.

I like cool shirts I like cold rings I want a big house I want nice things. I want jet packs for all my friends That want a big house And want nice things.

I don’t think people realize How they’re fucking us up. I put autotune on Worst and Caught all their disgust. Hip hop can do what— -ever it wants Like make country songs And hit number one And that’s fucking awesome, We could never do that. All the fans that like us need an easy fucking format. They would boo that. They’d abuse that. It’s a cultural hold-back.

Let me get this straight, You want a say in How well I live, If my life’s okay. Do I get a car? Hope it’s not too nice, Tell me what you’re comfortable with and I’ll comply. Can I pay rent? (Sure but not much else) Can I try new sounds? (Go fuck yourself) Tell me what I get Tell me what I earn Tell me all the things you want And I will give up me for you.

I like cool shirts I like cold rings I want a big house I want nice things. I want jet packs for all my friends That want a big house And want nice things

[abnerpory]

YNTCD & Brave: kaleidoscope heart---of memories ( a novel)

First and foremost as a disclaimer, I am a firm believer in Kaylor/Gaylor. If you are not a believer you best unfollow me right now because we are diving DEEP into the pits of speculation.

Dexter Mayfield was a featured dancer in YNTCD.

This same Dexter Mayfield was a featured dancer in Sara Bareilles’ 2013 video for “Brave”—a song that was written by Sara and Jack Antonoff.

Brave came out April 23, 2013. Sara was inspired from the struggles that a close friend dealt with in regard to coming out as an adult. The lyric video features a bunch of young girls (very 22 vibe) making music and taking POLAROIDS. Who do we know that likes to make music and take polaroids???--NONE OTHER THAN MISS TAYLOR MUTHA FUCKIN SWIFT

The lyrics are really interesting:

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

Taylor creates phrases with her lyrics that are often the constant discussion of debate. Could this also be future potential inspiration for the Don’t Blame Me lyric: My drug is my baby

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love

Taylor is constantly facing backlash for her relationships ending badly.

Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle ‘neath your skin

The media and the GP mock Taylor and we know that Taylor is known to be sensitive (according to Todrick), which is why she doesn’t google herself.

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

Taylor is too afraid to be her true self with the public, which is why she is constantly surrounding herself with men. Shadows referring to her doubts about coming out. If we want to go REAL EXTRA DEEP and predict the future: daisies need sunlight and remember to “step into the daylight and let it go”

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

I see this as Taylor who in the past ignored the possibility of disappearing, but eventually during Rep came to the realization that disappearing is something she has to do. Everybody who's ever came out has had to do some soul searching. She planned her next step to being BRAVE enough to come out and disappeared before Reputation came out based on this advice from Sara.

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in  

I don’t think this foreshadowing and inspiration needs to be explained further...  

Innocence, your history of silence

Won’t do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Taylor, as we know in her early days, was not vocal about her views and was very much portrayed as “America’s Sweetheart”-- innocent. Eventually she was scrutinized for it. Obviously, keeping her silence is something she can no longer do. Taylor can’t keep the act up...so, now we have this whole Lover Era where she is anything but silent. Let your words be anything but empty is definitely a reference to her songs that are about women that she masks as songs about boys.

Taylor sang Brave with Sara during the Red tour on August 19, 2013 at the Staples Center in LA. The performance is quite awkward. Taylor acts like an adorable fan girl. 

In her May 9, 2019 Entertainment Weekly interview Taylor says:

“This time around I feel more comfortable being brave enough to be vulnerable, because my fans are brave enough to be vulnerable with me. Once people delve into the album, it’ll become pretty clear that that’s more of the fingerprint of this — that it’s much more of a singer-songwriter, personal journey than the last one.”

Umm...yeah, she said BRAVE

Both Sara and Taylor performed at Stonewall Inn on June 14, 2019. Sara sang Brave and Taylor sang Shake it Off.

Stonewall Inn is shown in the YNTCD music video and now we have come full circle. 

After this Brave revelation I started digging deeper into other potential influences by Sara Bareilles on Taylor. 

Taylor’s album RED came out October 22, 2012. Considering that Brave came out April 23, 2013 I think it’s safe to say the empty words Sara was referring to in Brave could be lyrics from RED.

Speaking of RED, did you know that Sara has a song called RED?????

“Red is a chapter about my year abroad living in Italy. I spent my junior year at UCLA abroad… living in Bologna, Italy. It was an incredible year but also a very emotional and isolating year. And it was going through those difficult things for the first time that actually solidified my relationship to music as a songwriter. So it was me discovering Joni Mitchell and discovering my own voice as a songwriter.”

“For me the song Red, as soon as I wrote that, that was the turning point for the record. That was when I realized this could be something different, this could be something unique. This is a song that makes me open up all of my ideas of the possibilities of where this album could go. It’s a song about a relationship that was wrong and difficult and complicated and hard and impossible; but you can’t forget about it, because it was Red... and it was passionate and in a lot of ways. It touched you in a more real way than you had ever experienced before and I think that kind of relationship really inspired a lot of the songs on this record.”

“The Lucky One is a song that I wrote while I was in Australia; and it kind of talks about some of my fears, through telling the story of other people I was inspired by. But, more than their stories being told I’m pretty much singing what I’m scared of in that song...Ending up kinda caught up in this whole thing and lonely and feeling misunderstood and feeling that when people think you’re lucky you’re really not. So, it kind of expresses my greatest fear of having this not end up being fun anymore of having this end up being a scary place. And some people get there. Some people end up there. So, it’s a story song and it’s something I’m really proud of because it kind of goes to a place that I’m terrified of. “

Both Sara and Taylor share feeling of loneliness. Is Taylor lonely and feeling misunderstood as a gay woman in a straight world?? We also need to remember that eventually Taylor did go off the grid so she could see what her life would be like if everything was gone. 

Taylor, like Sara, is a fan of Joni Mitchell:

Even as a child.. (for some reason I can’t insert the video but follow the link to watch Taylor sing River as a child) 

It's coming on Christmas,

They're cutting down trees.

She grew up on a god damn Christmas tree farm!

I'm gonna make a lot of money

Gonna quit this crazy scene.

She’s going to be a successful singer and leave her small (christmas tree farm) town life.

She tried hard to help me,

She put me at ease.

She loved me so naughty,

made me weak in the knees.

I'm so hard to handle,

I'm selfish and I'm sad.

Now I've gone and lost the best baby

That I've ever had.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

The song is about the breakup of a romantic relationship and longing to escape her emotional bonds as they are painful to her. She tried hard to help me, She put me at ease could, for Taylor, refer to her mother... but She loved me so naughty, made me weak in the knees could very well be a first girl crush that broke Taylor’s heart.

Are you still here?? Ok, next you have Joni’s song Blue (losing him was blue like I’d never known)

Songs are like tattoos

You know I've been to sea before

Crown and anchor me

Or let me sail away

I mean, COME ON, she’s going to sea...possibly drowning from her “anchor” and is wearing a BLUE dress.

Ink on a pin

Underneath the skin

An empty space to fill in

As we remember from Brave: Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do, And they settle ‘neath your skin . Also doesn’t an empty space sound like a BLANK SPACE? 

And how many times has Taylor referenced some sort of crown? A LOT!

Now my readers, if you are still with me (I know this is a lot), let’s discuss Sara’s album Kaleidoscope Heart because we all know how much Taylor loves her kaleidoscope references.

Walkin' through a crowd, the village is a glow

Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats

“I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memories; it just all comes back. But he never does."

Kaleidoscope Heart was released on September 7, 2010--plenty of time for Taylor to become influenced by it for RED, a little over 2 years later, and now ME!.

Sara says,

“I love the imagery of those words, and they’re really representative of how I envision my heart. It's a colorful but fragmented, ever-changing sum of all the bits and pieces that make it up. A kaleidoscope is the tool that helps make sense of the mess. Or at least makes it nice to look at."

Taylor’s mess is of course her relationships. The bits and pieces that she is trying to make sense of and make to look nice are her pubic dating persona (with men) and her private dating life (with women).  

According to this article that got its information from Google: 

A dream of a kaleidoscope "refers to a connection to your childhood". The kaleidoscope symbolizes a "release of blocked creativity and gives you the opportunity to see yourself in the bigger scope of life."

Going back to Taylor’s EW interview she shares her admiration for (very gay) King Princess...

nostalgic adjective

a : longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition

b : evocative of a longed-for past time or condition

King Princess sounds like a connection to childhood if you ask me. Taylor’s released block is obviously the fact that she has to write these straight songs when she’d rather be BRAVE and write about her truth.

IN CONCLUSION: 

This is probably just a coincidence but Todrick just announced that he’s going to be in Waitress—a broadway musical composed and lyrics written by SARA BAREILLES

[notourlasthunt]

#SaveShadowhunters Media Highlights: UPDATED

Here are a collection of media highlights from articles that have been written post-cancellation. To view the original articles, please use the links included via each media outlet’s name.

Week #1

JUNE 5, 2018

Just Jared: ��Shadowhunters fans are the best fans there are.”

JUNE 9, 2018

Buzzfeed Community: “It’s not hard to imagine why the show has become so important to the LGBTQ+ community, as a genre show that accepts, normalises and embraces these characters. It seems clear that the fans of the show have decided if they can’t save their show, they can at least save some lives.”

TV After Dark: “Shadowhunters fans are dedicated, passionate and loyal. What more could you ask for in a fan? From the moment the show was announced back in 2015 the fans have always been behind the show, showing their support and their willingness to act on something when it is needed. This cancellation is not only breaking their hearts but also telling them that all their effort and enthusiasm is not being considered or is not making a difference at all.”

TV After Dark: “ One thing is for sure, never underestimate the power of the Shadowhunters fandom, they are a force to be reckoned with. To the fans, we encourage you to keep fighting and being as vocal as you are being so far. You are an example of what a lot of shows wish their followings would be, but only a few, like Shadowhunters, get to experience.”

JUNE 10, 2018

CarterMatt: “When it comes to petitions to save shows from cancellation, often they can have varying effects. When they only muster a few thousand signatures, they can be a little bit easier to ignore. However, once you get past the 30,000 or so range, they start to become quite a bit deal. The one to save Shadowhunters is nearing 100,000 internet signatures over on Change.org, and that’s a figure that you absolutely cannot ignore. Let’s put this in a little bit of a deeper perspective. On average, Shadowhunters season 3 is watched live in America by almost 400,000 people. While we understand that not every signer of said petition is located in the United States, that’s still an incredible ratio of petitioners to viewers. It’s one of the best we’ve seen. It’s another reminder of how active and engaged this fandom is — it has long been one of the largest social shows on all television and that certainly isn’t changing now.”  

The Series Regulars: “So in other words, this is not just a show to the fans. It is a reflection of what they have experienced in their own lives. The show’s storylines give them the courage and strength to know their own importance in life. Having this show on air has helped so many individuals.”

Week #2

JUNE 11, 2018

CarterMatt: “This all shows the power of fandom — it’s so much more important than cynical people will ever recognize. You form emotional connections to shows when they are on and they become a key part of your life. With a show like Shadowhunters, that’s probably true more so than most other shows out there just because it carries with it such a strong, inspirational message of inclusion and equality.”

Film Daily: “It’s also worth noting that Shadowhunters fans are some of the most passionate you’ll find online. To many, it’s more than just a TV show – it’s a lifeline offering diverse and powerful LGBTQI representation, progressive depictions of gender, and thoughtful reflections on current social issues.”

Film Daily: “At this stage, the Shadowhunters fandom are much more than just a collective of people who love the show; it’s become a movement rooted within popular culture. With such impassioned efforts by fans to save Shadowhunters and to support LGBTQI young people who may draw strength and acceptance from the show, it’s ludicrous to imagine that not one single network or SVOD would step up to save it.”

Film Daily: “Why an SVOD service like Netflix would allow for the cancellation of a show with a colossal fan base like Shadowhunters is quite frankly bewildering in that respect. Streaming should be the saviour of television when it comes to fringe shows with huge fan followings and it’s a mistake to underestimate the power of such fandoms.”

Hidden Remote: “Showrunner Todd Slavkin has showed support for the fundraiser, but Freeform has been silent so far. Several fans reported that after they had posted the donation link on the official Shadowhunters Facebook page, that the links were later deleted. However, It’s unclear whether someone who runs the account is actually deleting the posts, or if Facebook is filtering them out as spam links without Freeform’s knowledge. Regardless, we hope that Freeform will help support the fundraising campaign by sharing the donation site on their official social media pages soon.”

JUNE 12, 2018

Buzzfeed Community: “The Shadowhunters fans could permanently damage Freeform’s reputation among millennials if they don’t make a statement soon. Do Freeform think by staying quiet the fans will eventually go away and let this be forgotten? It hasn’t worked so far, and frankly, I’m not sure the biggest movement in cancellation history can be forgotten.”

Talk Nerdy With Us: “To call the Shadowhunters fanbase fervent would be a gross understatement. Try: wildly passionate, driven, loyal and LOUD. Right now, they’re raising their voices in unison to save their beloved show.”

Talk Nerdy With Us: “Read the hashtag threads and you’ll see one thing repeated over and over – representation matters. Not only does the show boast one of the most diverse casts ever seen on TV, it broke new ground by prominently featuring gay, lesbian, bisexual and asexual characters in healthy, loving, non-stereotyped roles.”

Talk Nerdy With Us: “Whoever acquires Shadowhunters one thing’s for certain – they will gain a massive fan base with the potential for major bank in tie-in products alone, something that’s sorely been lacking as far as the Shadowfam is concerned.”

TV Series Hub: “What makes Shadowhunters so different than other shows is how hardworking, creative, and inspiring the fans are. With over 2+Million tweets on twitter using the hashtags #SaveShadowhunters and #PickUpShadowhunters this fandom is not going to rest and will not be quieting down any time soon. The fans have also crashed the support links for major streaming services such as Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon.”

TV Series Hub: “Freeform’s reasoning behind the show’s cancellation was strictly economical but fans are finding it very hard to believe. When Shadowhunters announced they were going to have a third season it became evident that the lack of promo was going to be the downfall for this show. [...]  Catching the attention for more audience members is no use when the show’s junior season was limited to tweets from Freeform and Shadowhunters main social media accounts.”

JUNE 13, 2018

CarterMatt: “We have full confidence that the showrunners will do their best to come up with a worthy ending if they have to … but why should they have to? [The Teen Choice Awards are] another cause for fans to fight for on social media.”

JUNE 14,  2018

BuzzFeed Community: “What their PR and social media team are thinking is anyone’s guess, but it does not make the company look good. Snubbing actors as beloved as the Shadowhunters cast alone has angered the fans, and their Twitter continues to be unrecognisable as a respectable, professional platform while the fans bombard every posts’ comments with demands for the licensing to be sold so the show can be continued. Their silence is both troubling and the source of their troubles, at least for the foreseeable future.”

CarterMatt: “Do we think that Freeform anticipated some serious backlash over the decision to end the show? Probably, but we have a hard time imagining that they thought it would be on this sort of extreme level. The cancellation has reverberated through multiple fan communities and it is giving everyone motivation to fight to save something that they care about deeply.”

ScreenSpy: “Shadowhunters fans continue to be one of the most awesome fandoms on the internet.”

ScreenSpy: “Shadowhunters was a rare beast among recent broadcast TV shows in that it created space for a grounded love story between two LGBTQ characters, Alec Lightwood (Matthew Daddario) and Magnus Bane (Harry Shum Jr.), that was neither sabotaged, nor ended in a dissatisfying yet familiar breakup/death trope seen in myriad other shows from Supergirl to The 100. In fact, #Malec was often portrayed as the stable emotional core of the series, while other straight couples bore the emotional brunt of sudden deaths, breakups and heated arguments. That the fans have singled out The Trevor Project is telling, and illustrates the compassion and generosity of this unique fandom.”

JUNE 15, 2018

CarterMatt: “So what can be done now for Shadowhunters? First and foremost be inspired, since what happened with Lucifer can almost certainly happen here. It’s an uphill climb, but getting more of Lucifer was also an uphill climb. Think of this as more motivation to keep fighting, trending on social media, and discussing the show. Be organized, and try to come up with specific hashtags to trend and times to trend. Show some of the potential homes out there that you are willing to subscribe to their products.Above all else, be positive and hopeful and stick together — a little bit of unity can go a long way. While there are still twelve more episodes coming for Shadowhunters, those by no means have to be the end. Fingers crossed that they aren’t.”

JUNE 16, 2018

CarterMatt: “There hasn’t been any word out there as to potential other homes for the show, but at the same time there wasn’t all that much in the way of news out there about the Lucifer revival before it happened at Netflix. Sometimes, negotiations happen under a veil since you don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up in the event that plans fall through.”

JUNE 17, 2018

CarterMatt: “You can see after the fact in some photos from the convention that the entire cast was emotional and some were in tears, which is clearly another reminder that they all love the show and certainly don’t want to let it go. The effort to Save Shadowhunters has been going strong now for a good stretch of time and at this point, it only seems to picking up steam.”

Week #3

JUNE 19, 2018

Buzzfeed Community: “A lack of official statement by all of these parties has not helped matters, none of whom seem willing to speak publicly, but the real casualty of this misinformation and false hope is the fans. Fans are desperate for news, and I would argue the fans deserve better from all of these companies.”

CarterMatt: “We do think there is still a reason for hope, but saving a show is always an uphill battle and will take a lot of effort from fans in order to make it happen. Just remember to keep your voices heard and stay unified — we’ve seen via the past couple of months that anything is possible, even if there are no guarantees.”

The Series Regulars: “No matter what happens, it is clear this show is worth fighting for. Don’t give up.”

JUNE 20, 2018

Zimbio: “If you ever doubted the power of fandom, then you’re in for a major surprise.”

Zimbio: “It’s no secret that Magnus and Alec’s relationship is the anchor of the show. Malec shippers are ride or die to the end and for good reason. Shadowhunters has empowered viewers to be kind to one another amidst adversity and live out their truth.”

JUNE 21, 2018

Entertainment Tonight: “The Shadowhunters fans are channeling their heartache into helping others.”

Entertainment Tonight: “ET reached out to Freeform for a response to the Shadowhunters fandom’s charity efforts, but the network declined to comment.”

Entertainment Tonight: “While the fate of Shadowhunters’ future remains to be seen, it’s clear that hell hath no fury like a fandom scorned – and these fans are using their passion and power to make a positive impact.”

JUNE 22, 2018

CarterMatt: “As you can see in the photos below, the plane is making its way around Netflix sporting the message #SaveShadowhunters as clear as the message can be. It’s really the perfect day for such a banner to fly, given that we’re talking about blue skies and very few clouds. Basically, what we’re trying to say here is that Netflix has to take notice of this. Whether or not they take action remains to be seen but this is clearly one of the biggest displays of fandom possible.”

CarterMatt: “We’ll see if this amounts to anything, but even if it doesn’t, you have to admire greatly the passion and enthusiasm of the fans who wanted to make it happen. They banded together for this in a way very few fandoms do.”

Digital Spy: “It’s official: there’s perhaps no fanbase more dedicated than that of Shadowhunters.”

Hypable: “Behind the hashtag is a movement for promoting what the show promotes every week — passion, loyalty, and the fight to not only survive, but make the world better.”

Hypable: “Loyalty to the seeing the show live on is only one bit of what this fandom has chosen to do during the waiting period. Banding together in the face of uncertainty, utilizing the powers they can tap into (social media, planes, charity), the Shadowhunters fandom is following in the footsteps of their favorite characters.”

TV After Dark: “The Shadowhunters fans keep proving they are a force to be reckoned with.”

TV After Dark: “If we track the numbers from the #SaveShadowhunters hashtag, the tweets cross over the 8 million mark, and that’s only counting one of the hashtags they have been using. They have at least 5 more that they use according to the day they tweet. They are impressibly organized and have even a google document set out with their tweeting plans with the hopes of getting all the fans in the same channel and under the same schedule.”

TV After Dark: “Another thing the Shadowhunters fans are proving to be is very clever. They know how to work with what they have. If they see their show is not getting the promotion it deserves, they create it themselves.”

TV After Dark: “If there is one thing that the #SaveShadowhunters campaign has proven is that the show has it all to succeed, it only needs to be given a proper treatment and the chance to grow. Shadowhunters is making headlines all over the world right now. The decision to cancel the show right when it is taking off and with a season as strong as their current season is right now is probably one of the worst we’ve seen made on TV so far. The show is not ready to say goodbye yet and the cast and the fandom are not ready to let it go. With a fandom as passionate as the Shadowhunters fandom is, you can’t just expect them to stay quiet and not fight for what they believe in.”

TV After Dark: “The Teen Choice Awards nominations help us make a point, Shadowhunters is probably the most successful show its network has right now.If they doesn’t recognize it, we sure hope that another network can step in and see what they are missing. Shadowhunters has everything it takes for a show to be successful. We just really hope that someone listens up and realizes why giving up on it right now is a big mistake.”

TV After Dark: “To all the fans out there, keep being loud and doing what you are doing. Nothing is impossible when it comes to saving TV shows. We continue to stand with you and we truly admire everything that you have accomplished so far.”

JUNE 24, 2018

Clevver TV: “Since Freeform announced that they officially canceled Shadowhunters, fans have been doing everything possible to fight the decision. They’ve protested online, vented their love for the show and even raised over $11,000 to prevent it from saying its final goodbye. It goes without saying, but these stans are seriously dedicated.”

Week #4

JUNE 25, 2018

CarterMatt: “Just think of things this way, if you are a Netflix, an Amazon, an Apple, or any other streaming platform — how impressed are you going to be in the event that #SaveShadowhunters is trending so long after it was initially canceled? It’s a real sign that this is a fandom that isn’t going away and with that, it’s worthy of your time and attention.”

The Nerd Daily: “So why would a network cancel such a show that combines so many unique characters and storylines? Economic reasons seems questionable and it doesn’t seem like a suitable explanation for the Shadowhunters fandom.”

The Nerd Daily: “Never before was friendship made into a source of strength, and for me, this is one of the most beautiful description of friendship I have ever seen in a TV show and it’s also reflected in the fandom. A lot of friendships have been made since the show aired thanks to social media and conventions.”

The Nerd Daily: “The fandom are making their thoughts loud and clear so that they can be heard. Every tweet Freeform makes receives hundred of #SaveShadowhunters comments, even though the tweet is not always related to the show.”

JUNE 26, 2018

Girlfriend: “We’ve seen many beloved shows canceled over the years, but none have garnered the response in fans that Shadowhunters has.”

JUNE 27, 2018

Hidden Remote: “The Shadowhunters fandom has unified and rallied together over the past several weeks to fight for a fourth season pick-up. Inspired by fans from other series that were also canceled (and revived) this year, Shadowhunters fans have used Twitter power-hours, strategic messaging and emailing with networks, and have now kicked their marketing up a notch. And when I say “up,” I mean sky-high.”

Hidden Remote: “What fans didn’t realize in their Netflix-targeted planning, however, was that the show’s writers room (which is currently working on the 2-hour series finale) was also in sight of the plane banner. Even if the #ShadowhuntersPlane is unsuccessful at getting a season 4 pick-up, it was absolutely successful in showing the cast, writers, and creative team just how much they are loved and supported.”

JUNE 28, 2018

CarterMatt: “This is the second straight week where the fan base has come out with some sort of big move to get the attention of various networks / streaming homes. This follows their move to fly an airplane banner over Netflix — this time around, there is no specific provider that fans are seeking out, which means that this sort of move could catch the attention of just about anyone.In between this, raising more than $17,000 for The Trevor Project, and campaigning constantly across social media, these are fans who are determined and are not giving up.”

CarterMatt: “While networks may be big business and often have to think in terms of the bottom line, rest assured that many of them also want to be loved! Imagine how much goodwill would come out of one of these networks opting to bring Shadowhunters back on the air. We’re sure that there are some potential homes out there who are well aware of that and would embrace the opportunity to make many fans happy by releasing some great news on the subject of one of their favorite shows.”

The Series Regulars: “To put things into perspective, the campaign has been going strong since we first talked about the fandom effort to save the show.. Not only have they reached over 9 million tweets with the #SaveShadowhunters hashtag, but they have also raised over $17,000 for The Trevor Project. In addition, they have also raised awareness for Girls Up and have even created Shadowhunters Merchandise with proceeds going to charity as well.”

The Series Regulars: “With how much the campaign to save the show has accomplished already, we are looking forward to seeing what else they can do!”

JUNE 29, 2018

CarterMatt: “The act of [having a billboard] itself is impressive, largely because there are so few fandoms who have tried some of the things that the Shadowhunters fandom have with this sort of scale. They’ve really put their best foot forward in trying to save the show using passion and positive energy. We love the idea of this, just as much as we love the fact that every possible home out there can see this and realize that this is a fandom that is not going away.”

CarterMatt: “For now, congratulations to all Shadowhunters supporters — regardless of what happens, you’ve got a lot to be proud of for all of your efforts.”

Digital Spy: “Shadowhunters fans truly are a dedicated bunch! On Friday (June 29), the fans made good on their promise to take out a billboard in Times Square in hopes of saving their favourite show. Good luck to the #SAVESHADOWHUNTERS brigade!”

JUNE 30, 2018

CarterMatt: “The efforts to try to save the show are noticed and very much appreciated. For some more insight into that, all you have to do is look at some of the latest reactions to Friday’s Times Square billboard via show executive producers Darren Swimmer and Todd Slavkin.”

CarterMatt: “We don’t think that the efforts to save the show behind the scenes are over and done with yet, either. If there was no hope that the series could find a future home, don’t you think that message would be conveyed? The last thing that anyone wants to do is allow fans to hold onto false hope, and with that, we don’t exactly think that is happening here, either.”

The Series Regulars: “We spoke with Brie, the editor in chief of Basic Shadowhunters Stuff about their contributions and collaboration with the fandom and other sites/accounts. She emphasized that the goal behind these efforts is to “be loud” and take any steps possible to display the devoted passion that fans have for Shadowhunters, and we have to say, this loyal fanbase has been doing one hell of an amazing job.”

The Series Regulars: “The Shadowhunters fandom is extremely loyal, and people all around the world have banded together to do what they can to make their voices heard. This has included campaigns such as the Times Square billboard, tweeting out to anyone and everyone, and sending out emails voicing their passion for the series. It has been a group effort, and everyone has been in constant communication to make all these campaigns come together. Isn’t fandom such a wonderful thing?”

Week #5

JULY 2, 2018

CarterMatt: “Think about that. Ten million tweets. That’s an expression of passion that is almost unprecedented since we are talking about a series that was canceled on June 4.”

CarterMatt: “So how much does this threshold help the show? We actually think it’s one of the biggest achievements made during the campaign to save the show so far. One of the things that you do need to remember is that network executives are often very busy, and with that they don’t have the time in which to look at every single tweet or thing that the fandom is doing to save the show. It’s often helpful to have some sort of big, headline-making announcement that they can look at and understand easily. That’s what the plane banner was, and the same goes for the billboard and the donations for the Trevor Project. Here, they can just see the number 10 million and have their jaws hit the ground.”

Clevver TV: “After raising thousands of dollars, getting millions of signatures and even buying a freakin’ planeto fly over the Netflix headquarters, Shadowhunters fans are back at it again with another attempt to save the show from cancellation. What’s left for them to do, you may ask? Oh, just casually purchasing a billboard in New York City’s Times Square.”

Clevver TV: “It’s been almost a month since it was announced that Freeform would not be renewing Shadowhunters for a fourth season, but fans are showing no signs of slowing down their efforts to getting the network (or a different network/streaming service) to change its mind. They have a TON of reasons why the show shouldn’t be canceled, so we think it’s safe to assume the fight will continue for a long time.”

Netflix Life: “Many fans are still feeling blindsided by this news, but even more, fans are not mourning the loss of the show. Rather, they’re fighting to save the show and the fan movement has responded in a big way.”

Netflix Life: “It’s a huge success abroad where the series streams on various regions on Netflix, but unfortunately, it’s not on Netflix US. It would make for a wise investment by Netflix to consider saving the show once it finishes its run on Freeform next year.

Netflix Life: “I do know the fans will never stop fighting for the show to continue. That’s something McNamara has been blown away by in the last month since the news broke.”

JULY 5, 2018

CarterMatt: “The fandom’s been global for many years now, but there are more examples of its international popularity now than potentially ever before.”

CarterMatt: “How much are things like banners and advertisements helping? We think personally they’re probably more impactful than many out there are giving them credit for. It’s something that is physical and tangible that executives can look at. If they are on the fence about picking up Shadowhunters, maybe this will convince them to give the series a closer look. The biggest thing that all of these campaigns achieve is reminding everyone in the industry that Shadowhunters fans are out there and cannot be forgotten about. What makes this particular campaign stand out is not only the resiliency of it, but also the creativity and the dedication from people involved.”

Netflix Life: “There are very few shows that have a loyal fanbase like Shadowhunters. More of these types of fanbases have come out in recent years, with the likes of Timeless and Lucifer, but the Shadowhunters fans have taken things to a whole new level. If Netflix was worried about fan commitment, then the recent efforts to save the series would help to ease them.”

Netflix Life: “No other fandom has been quite as vocal and loyal.”

Netflix Life: “And this has become more of a family than anything else. Fans have found their tribe in social media groups and platforms. They’ve celebrated births and marriages, they’ve commiserated deaths together, and they’ve supported one another in dark times—and these are in real life situations and not just the events within the series.”

Netflix Life: “If you take a look at any relationship poll for TV shows, you’ll see the shipper name Malec up there. This is the Shadowhunter ship of Alec and Magnus, one of the most progressive, positive, and public LGBTQ relationships on TV. There are very few that even come close.”

Netflix Life: “The show is all about inclusivity (unless you’re a demon from the Shadow World, of course!) and wants to encourage more growth when it comes to people of color and LGBTQ relationships. Netflix needs to encourage that more. It’s already canceled Everything Sucks! Don’t let Shadowhunters go too! This representation is extremely necessary.”

Netflix Life: “With the right marketing, Netflix could help this series grow in the way that it should. More people around the world can learn about it and tune in for every episode. The series would gain better treatment than ever before, helping it become the book adaptation of the generation. There is certainly potential there and it needs a streaming service like Netflix to take that up.”

JULY 6, 2018

CarterMatt: “You can see via the posts on Twitter below that there is a collaborative book coming entitled Love Makes Us Stronger, one that is meant to show many different networks and shows everything that they have done to date in order to work to make another season happen. This is a series that knows no bounds and is showing, time and time again, that fans will do whatever it takes in order to ensure that there is more of the story told. This book is meant to be delivered to not only many different prospective networks, but then also The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which we do think would be a wonderful venue to discuss the series and its hopes at another season further.”

Pure Fandom: “It’s impossible to deny that the Shadowhunters fandom is made up of the most devoted fans to date.”

Pure Fandom: “In all my years following television, the uproar over Shadowhunters’ cancellation is probably one of the biggest ones I’ve ever seen.”

Pure Fandom: “With a fanbase this big and powerful, it looks like the decision to drop Shadowhunters may not have been a good call on Freeform’s part.Fans’ efforts to #PickUpShadowhunters is still going strong, and we’re with you! We’ll keep fighting until Shadowhunters finds a new home!”

JULY 8, 2018

CarterMatt: “Basically, the message that we’re trying to get across here is rather simple: Sometimes, no news can be good news. Just because it seems like networks and streaming providers are ignoring Shadowhunters doesn’t mean that they are avoiding picking up the show’s future.”

Week #6

JULY 9, 2018

CarterMatt: “What’s the objective with this particular hashtag? It’s a way to show more just how much this show is beloved all over the world, and in turn the sheer number of fans who stand to be let down in the event that Shadowhunters does not end up finding a home somewhere else.”

JULY 11, 2018

CarterMatt: “For now, our advice is the same: Keep doing what you’re doing in making sure that your voices are heard.

Hypable: “From billboards in Times Square to subway stops on Korea to planes flying over Netflix, there is no limit to what this fandom will continue to do to drive awareness to their passion and love for the series.In addition to the flashier efforts, the fans have also raised a considerable about of money for charitable causes in the name of saving the show. Practicing what the show portrays every week, the fans are aiding those who need help the most, even as they struggle with their own disappointment.”

Just Jared: “And yes, they see you with the #SaveShadowhunters campaign.Martin shared that the company is ‘amazed by the dedication and persistence of the incredible fandom of Shadowhunters and the #SaveShadowhunters campaign. We are in ongoing discussions with the network and Netflix to how we can continue to bring Cassandra Clare’s vision to television.’”

JULY 12, 2018

CarterMatt: “Recently, Martin Moszkowicz and Oliver Berben of production company Constantin Film were sent a rather generous amount of Shadowhunters-themed M&Ms, ones that were decorated with familiar show iconography alongside the message to #SaveShadowhunters. Both parties shared photos of the candy on social media, which we like to think that there is some commitment there to the cause.”

CarterMatt: “Typically, the easiest way to tell whether or not someone really wants to come back to a show is whether or not they acknowledge the effort that is going on with fans. We do think that everyone at Constantin wants Shadowhunters back since it is a way for them to earn extra money.”

ClevverTV: “Shadowhunters fans are doing everything — literally EVERYTHING — to save their favorite show from being canceled.”

JULY 13, 2018

CarterMatt: “How much sway could Korea’s audience have in saving the show internationally? If the outreach is enough, a bit more than many would immediately assume. Seoul is one of the biggest markets in the world with an active, engaged young audience. These are the sort of people who will celebrate an inclusive, action-packed show that makes you care about its characters.”

CarterMatt: “Basically, remember that sometimes, saving a show is a marathon rather than a sprint and it can take so much longer than anyone would anticipate from the jump.”

CarterMatt: “Just in case you needed a reminder as to how busy Katherine McNamara is at the moment, she did this table read on Thursday, then flew out to Milan in order to be present for fans at the Italian Institute Con this weekend. That is dedication! It’s a also a reminder of how much she loves her fans given that this is a pretty emotional time.”

CarterMatt: “If there is one thing that is probably serving as the wind under the sails for many cast members, it’s this: No matter what is going on with production of these remaining two episodes, the #SaveShadowhunters movement continues.”

Cinema Blend: “Fans of Freeform’s Shadowhunters are not giving up on their show without a fight. Taking their battle to streaming networks such as Netflix and Amazon, the hope to be heard and the effort to save the beloved series has only grown stronger.”

KSiteTV: “Constantin’s Martin Moszkowicz told Deadline that Constantin is “amazed by the dedication and persistence of the incredible fandom of Shadowhunters and the #SaveShadowhunters campaign, and that they are “in ongoing discussions with the network and Netflix to how we can continue to bring Cassandra Claire’s vision to television.” Okay, then make it happen already.I’m not without hope, and fans shouldn’t be either. But really, Freeform, Constantin: Talk it over. Negotiate. You’re sitting on a gold mine. #SaveShadowhunters.” 

The Fandom: “But this fandom is not going down without a fight. So far, the fans have tweeted #SaveShadowhunters over 10 million times, flew a plane with a #SaveShadowhunters banner around Netflix’s LA headquarters, rented two billboards in Times Square and most impressively, it’s raised over $20,000 for various charities.Even as I write this post, the fandom’s been hard at work, running a month-long campaign in the Seoul subway and planning to soon hit London with double-decker bus ads. In a less grand fashion, fans have been flooding the mailboxes of network executives and it looks like network executives are paying attention.”

Week #7

JULY 16, 2018

AnneMoss.com: “For many people, these characters have been the first time that they have seen each other fully represented on a TV screen.Heartbreaking testimonials can be found all over the Internet of people who would be in a significantly worse place without this show. In short, it has saved lives.”

JULY 19, 2018

CarterMatt: “While there may not be a formal Shadowhunters panel at Comic-Con this year, the folks behind the effort to save the show have still found a way to have their voice heard. Specifically, they are doing it in the form of pedicabs with the #SaveShadowhunters message front and center.”

CarterMatt: “We do think that out of all of the fun ideas we’ve seen with Shadowhunters, this is one of the most valuable given that there are hundreds of thousands of TV fans crammed into a small space the next few days; meanwhile, you’ve also got a number of network executives and other important industry people around. You never know when someone is going to stumble across something you’ve created! It’s another reason to have hope if you are a diehard Shadowhunters fan.”

Digital Spy: “We’ve seen political campaigns less organised than this. Bravo, Shadowhunters stans.”

JULY 20, 2018

CarterMatt: “These expressions of support by the fans go a long way. If nothing else, they are a clear reminder that Shadowhunters is a show that other networks / streaming providers should consider bringing back for more.”

CarterMatt: “Also, Comic-Con is one of the perfect venues to make a big campaign statement — there are probably more people from the entertainment industry concentrated in one place here than any other TV-related event out there, save for maybe the Emmys or the Golden Globes.”

Film Daily: “If you ever needed infallible proof that fandoms rule TV shows (and not the other way around), you need to be keeping up with the Shadowhunters fandom and more specifically the #SaveShadowhunters campaign. These aren’t just the most passionate and vocal fans – they’re also the most organized and resourceful.”

Film Daily: “Like almost everything at the SDCC, the pedicabs are open to sponsorship from advertisers – but this may be the first time they’ve commandeered by fans in a bid to make a provocative statement that could save a show. Like most other networks, Freeform has a presence at the convention and we can’t imagine that this stunt will sit well with the network, but that’s precisely the point. Shadowhunters fans will not allow for their show to go and are fighting the cancellation with everything they’ve got. Which makes us wonder at this point why Shadowhunters hasn’t been saved yet. If this campaign has proven anything, it’s that there’s a tangible and sizeable fanbase attached to the show more than worthy of investing in.”

Film Daily: “Whatever happens, the Shadowhunters fans are absolutely killing it right now. For them not to see the story back on the small (or big) screen again is almost unfathomable. Someone, somewhere, has to take charge now and make this happen – the fans absolutely deserve it.”

Just Jared: “The Save Shadowhunters campaign is not slowing down. If anything, it’s heating up.”

JULY 22, 2018

CarterMatt: “Yang’s appearance gives even more credibility to the campaign, which of course already had quite a bit of it thanks to some social-media acknowledgement from everyone from executive producers Todd Slavkin and Darren Swimmer to stars Katherine McNamara and Isaiah Mustafa. (Read more about their reactions over at the link here.) There are clearly many who have taken note of the campaign down at SDCC, which also includes promotional flyers and buttons.”

Hidden Remote: “Jack Yang, who plays Asmodeus on the series, stopped by SDCC today cosplaying as his own character. Not only did he want to come see the pedicab, but he even jumped in! [...] The Shadowhunters pedicabs aren’t able to travel all the way to Edom, but we hope Asmodeus had a fun time checking out the Shadowhunters representation at SDCC!”

Week #8

JULY 23, 2018

CarterMatt: “Just in case you were wondering how popular Shadowhunters really was at San Diego Comic-Con, let’s just say that it achieved a really rare feat: Social-media dominance without even having a panel at the event.  Per the tweet (via Alex Zalben) below, the currently-canceled series was the fifth most-tweeted-about show during the convention this year. It was ahead of such staples as Arrow, Supergirl, and The Flash, and even one of the other most-popular shows on social media out there in Wynonna Earp. The only ones that fared better were The Clone Wars, Doctor Who, The Walking Dead, and Voltron — which are all properties that have been around for an extremely long period of time.”

Decider: “Timeless, which dominated leading into the Con, and flew a helicopter around trying to save the show, didn’t break the top ten. But another fan favorite, canceled show did: Shadowhunters.The Freeform supernatural show didn’t have a panel at the convention, but it does have a legion of loyal fans tweeting to #SaveShadowhunters almost constantly. Hence the number five slot on the Twitter list.”

Hidden Remote: “By the angel, we think the #SaveShadowhunters campaign is going to love this. @TwitterTVreported today that Shadowhunters was the fifth most-tweeted show during San Diego Comic-Con. Freeform did not bring the series to SDCC like it had done in 2017, but even without a panel, autograph signing, or immersive activation, the show was still incredibly popular on Twitter.”

JULY 24, 2018

CarterMatt: “Following an excellent campaign over at San Diego Comic-Con involving a branded pedicab, flyers, and customized buttons, the Save Shadowhunters campaign is now looking rather rosy.How much so? Let’s just say that they have used as much flower power as possible to get some flower arrangements and customized cards to the Amazon Studios offices plus also Hulu, Netflix, and the offices of production company Constantin Film in Los Angeles. Consider these some further reminders from the Shadowhunters family that this is a fanbase that does not have any plans to give up on finding their show a new home.”

CarterMatt: “There is probably a sense of uncertainty on the set, not knowing precisely what the future of the series is; nonetheless, you have to imagine that it is enormously flattering for the cast and crew to routinely hear that there are so many people who want more of the show and also them as these characters. That does help in so many ways to ensure that they give their best performances possible.”

CarterMatt: “The best thing that any fan of the series can do right now is stay active, and stay engaged, when it comes to trying to save the show. Often, saving shows really is a marathon rather than a race, and networks / streaming providers need to realize that this is a group of fans who cannot be forgotten about.”

Film Daily: “After Freeform chose not to do a Shadowhunters panel at San Diego Comic Con for what could be the final ever season of the show (unless it’s rightfully saved), fans threw a sassy hair flip in Freeform’s general direction and set up their own celebration of the show. That celebration was part protest and part promotion in support of the ongoing #SaveShadowhunters campaign that has been ferociously demonstrated by fans since the young adult series was cancelled at the start of June. The centerpiece? A #SaveShadowhunters pedicab that circled SDCC.”

Film Daily: “According to a fan on Twitter, one especially cool driver let fans ride on the pedicabs for free, installed a speaker so the Shadowhunters theme tune “This is the Hunt” could be blasted on the journey, and also helped to hand out flyers in support of saving the show. But perhaps the crowning jewel of the #SaveShadowhunters efforts was the appearance of actor Jack Yang, who rocked up to SDCC in character as Asmodeus and rode that pedicab with all the brooding regal swagger of the legit Prince of Hell (cane and all).”

Film Daily: “It’s become clear that Shadowhunters is a show that revolves around unity and chosen family – for fans it offers a lifeline of connection that perhaps can’t be found within other more mainstream shows. It’s exactly what makes the show standout as a much cherished gem on social media, as Shadowhunters actually enjoyed a greater presence than other Freeform shows that were part of the official SDCC schedule.”

Film Daily: “It’s no surprise that during SDCC, the Pure Fandom Awards actually created a category specifically to acknowledge the Shadowhunters fandom by gifting them The 2018 Pure Fan-spiration Award. They deserve it, too. In the time since Shadowhunters has been cancelled, they’ve refused to remain silent and have shown they know how to vocalize their passion and turn it into action – even if it’s just from the periphery.They’re the most punk rock fandom out there right now and it’d be crazy not to listen to them and give them what they want.”

Future Femme: “The Shadowhunters yarn unravelled further over the weekend as the fandom took its campaign to save the venerated show to the San Diego Comic-Con. In case you have not yet been following this ongoing saga of legendary proportions, back in June, Freeform announced the cancellation of the genre show despite execs being “very happy creatively” – a decision that was based on ‘economic reasons.’”

Future Femme: “Like a group of valiant demon hunters, the reaction has been nothing short of Biblical. Launching a #SaveShadowhunters campaign, the dedicated fandom members took to Twitter to share their upset, but they haven’t stopped there and have found active ways to promote their campaign beyond the Twittersphere.”

Future Femme: “All of this is testament to the fandom’s dedication, highlighting a wider statement that shows how audiences now rule the TV shows they watch and not vice-versa. As the nature by which we watch television changes, it’s becoming increasingly evident that a show’s importance isn’t solely based on live metrics and economics anymore and that its story and significance goes beyond the conventional restrictions of entertainment consumption.Shadowhunters offers diverse storylines and depictions of LGBTQI and female characters with complexity that are unrivaled by other young adult shows on TV right now. The fantasy genre provides escapism for its viewers, but it’s also educational – Shadowhunters has strived to move forward with acceptance and inclusivity where others are falling behind and it’s for these reasons the fandom refuses to put down its battle weapons and will not give up in the face of adversity.“

Future Femme: “Another reason the Shadowhunters fandom is so ferociously fighting its corner is that the cast & crew were already teasing season four before the cancellation. This is not a show that has reached a creative dead end and it is certainly not one that fans don’t want to see more from – in fact, Shadowhunterswas the fifth most tweeted about show during this year’s SDCC and yet it didn’t even have an official panel at the event.”

Future Femme: “If the cry is loud enough, the networks have no choice but to listen. And when it comes to Shadowhunters, the outcry is so loud you can hear it from the Shadow World. Now it’s up to Freeform to react, or else risk losing this TV gem and its dedicated fandom for good.”

Week #9

JULY 30, 2018

Digital Spy: “Right now, Netflix isn’t in talks to save the supernatural drama series. But [Cindy Holland, Netflix’s VP of original content] did praise the show for having incredibly passionate fans. [...] ‘It has a very active fanbase. I probably get 100 emails or more personally.’ We bet the number of daily emails will double or triple in the wake of Holland's comments!”

Film Daily: “The Shadowhunters fandom has fought the cancellation of their show to the last. Accumulating over 149,000 signatures on a petition to save the show thus far, they’ve also managed to raise funds for a billboard campaign in Times Square, subway posters in Seoul, raised money for charity, and hired campaign-boosting pedicabs at SDCC. Kind of a big deal, ladies and gentlemen.”

Film Daily: “The overwhelmingly passionate fan base should be enough to convince anyone this is a show more than deserving of saving.”

Film Daily: “It seems ludicrous not to serve such a large and passionate fan base by saving Shadowhunters. Somebody has to come through and save this one.”

Pure Fandom: “I started watching in June and after I started my Shadowhunters watch, it didn’t take long for me to see the show’s magic that ignited such fire in the fandom. To put it simply, the show is amazing. It is inclusive, it is bold, the cast is crazy talented, it is visually stunning – but it wasn’t the show that made me fall instantly in love – it was this fandom.”

Pure Fandom: “You have not only managed to rally in the shadows, you have welcomed new members into the family (like me) and continued your messages of love and support for the cast, despite your frustration. You are angry, but you are channeling that anger into a series of productive projects including a charitable donation to the Trevor Project, a NYC Times Square billboard, flowers and cupcakes for the cast, a bike at SDCC and so much more!”

Pure Fandom: “Shadowhunters fans – I know you are tired, but thank you for fighting for this show that you love so much – that I love so much. You never made me feel like I couldn’t join your ranks and fight with you and for that, I am so grateful. Fandoms like this are few and far between and I will never take for granted that you welcomed me so effortlessly into yours.”

JULY 31,  2018

CarterMatt: “The Trevor Project fundraiser...has officially reached more than $20,000. That’s an incredible number when you think about just how many people it is going to help. This is taking the message of inclusion and acceptance from the show and finding a way to pay it forward. It’s something that is both powerful and important in so many ways beyond what we can possibly try and spell out here.”

CarterMatt: “The official petition to save the show has officially reached 150,000 signatures! Typically, we think that any petition that reaches more than 50,000 is showing itself as one that cannot be ignored; this one has reached three times that, and there is still so much further that it could go”

Hidden Remote: “Fans should be incredibly proud of the global efforts made over the past two months to support #SaveShadowhunters, which now feels more like a movement than a campaign. The fandom’s fundraiser for The Trevor Project crossed the $20,000 mark on Monday morning, and the donations continue to grow in honor of the series.”

Hidden Remote: “Shadowhunters fans show no signs of slowing down the fight to get a full fourth season for the series, and they continue to show love for the Toronto team during the last (known) days of production.”

[nothing-but-kpop-dreams]

BTS Reaction: Them finding out that they’re your first boyfriend even though you were very popular in HS and got proposed many times(request)

Hi everyone! I’m Admin Cloud and I’m a new admin to Nothing-but-kpop-dreams. I’m sorry that this took so long to write this is also my very first reaction. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

~~~

Rap Monster / Kim Namjoon - You were at home cleaning up your closet and Namjoon decided to come over to help. Your room was a complete mess when he came over. There were clothes everywhere and it took you a bit of time to answer the door.

“Took you long enough” He chuckled walking into your small apartment.

“Sorry.” You apologize.

Leading him into your room, he laughs out loud at how messy your room was. Although it may sound embarrassing, it didn’t bother you at all since you’ve already seen how messy his room can get. Rolling your eyes, you go back into your closet taking out more clothes that either didn’t fit you or didn’t suit your liking. Looking up, you see one last box at the top of your closet. Curiously, you tippy toe up and reach for it, you hands barely grazing the side of the box. You jump up a little and still couldn’t reach it. You turn around lips pursed together as you look at Namjoon with pleading eyes. He laughs before walking over and grabbing the box for you.

“Geez, What’s in here? Rocks?” He asks as he sets the heavy box on the floor.

“Hmm, let’s find out” You reply, sitting down on the floor and opening the big box.

Your eyes widen as you realize that it’s a box full of your old high school things. Namjoon sits down next to you grabbing your senior yearbook.

“Oh wow I haven’t looked at this in so long” You thought out loud, as Namjoon flips through the pages.

You recall memories you had in high school to Namjoon, mostly about old friends and teachers. Suddenly he turns to the sports and clubs section of the yearbook and notices you in almost all the clubs and sports.

“Wow. Cheer captain?” He marveled.

“Yeah....”

“I’m guessing you were really popular back then. How many guys did you date?” he asks curiously.

“None.” you smile.

“Wait. How many exes have you had?”

“None”

“So--I’m your first boyfriend?”

“Yes. Namjoon. You are my first boyfriend”

He chuckles to himself as he wraps an arm around you and kisses you on the cheek.

“So looks like the nerdy guy gets the beautiful cheerleader in the end”

Jin / Kim Seokjin - You are a famous idol part of a rising girl group from a small company almost unheard of. After the release of your debut song, your group gained so many new fans that you felt the need to do a vlive to interact with your fans. A few months before, as trainees, your group got the chance to meet BTS. Giving you guys encouraging advice on your upcoming debut, at the time, you’ve gotten close with Jin. The connection you two had, was indescribable. Soon after, you and Jin started a relationship, that only grew stronger as the days turn into months. When he publicly announced your relationship, the backlash was almost unbearable, making your company second guess the group’s debut date. Luckily another scandal bigger than your relationship with Jin sprouted making everyone turn away from your relationship to focus on other news. When your group debuted the song, it was almost as if all the hate turned into love, as your groups follower count gained more and more.

So here you are sitting in front of your iPhone camera, and answering questions being sent in from your fans.

“Hello everyone! Thanks for joining me today while I eat my dinner” You say into the camera, pulling out a bowl of jajangmyeon.

Putting some of the noodles into your mouth, you keep an eye on the live comments as people commented on how cute you looked. You smiled with cheeks filled.

“I’ll be answering questions now, so send in your questions!” You announce as you stuff your mouth with more noodles. Reading some of the comments, you notice a bunch of “Will you marry me’s” and “I love you’s”.

Smiling, you put up a heart, “I love you too!” you say.

Going through as many questions as you can do, one comment sticks out to you.

“Is Jin the most handsome boyfriend you’ve ever had?”

You smile widely, blushing at the thought of your boyfriend.

“Of course he’s the most handsome boyfriend I’ve ever had, because he’s the only one I’ve ever had”

The comment section over-flooded with cute reactions. Mostly fans fangirling about your relationship. Suddenly, Seoyeon (One of your group members) rushes into your room hold up her phone to your face.

“Yah! Y/n, Sunbaenim’s on the phone!” She exclaims handing you her phone.

Taking the phone from her, you put the phone on speaker, getting closer to the camera.

“Yah! Jagi, Of course I’d be your first boyfriend! You were waiting for someone as handsome as me to claim as your first.”

Suga / Min Yoongi - Late nights with Yoongi was a typical thing for the both of you. You thought instead of parting Yoongi away from his music, maybe you should just join him at the studio. After the first couple of nights, it became a routine, for you to go to Yoongi’s studio right after work. One night after work you picked up some coffee for the both of you and immediately went straight to the studio. Walking into the room, Yoongi spins around on his chair facing you.

“Were you expecting coffee? Cuz I originally wanted to surprise you with this.” You laugh lifting up the cardboard tray.

“No,” he started “I just needed you”

Smiling, you place the coffee on the side table and walk over to Yoongi giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“I need your help with something” Yoongi said with a soft smile.

“What do you need help with?” You ask curiously.

“I’m stuck with this one song I’m working on. It’s about a break up, and I feel like there isn’t enough emotion in it.”

“Yeah?”

“When you and your ex broke up, how did it feel? Did you feel any kind of hurt? Was the hurt painful?” He asked

“Oh,” you say shyly “Uhm, I’ve never had a break up”

“I should’ve expected that you were the heart breaker” He sighs chuckling.

You start to blush at his assumption.

“No... uhm I’ve never been through a break up,” you stated “ever.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen in shock.

“So that means?”

“You’re my first boyfriend.” You smile shyly, as you pull on the sleeves of your hoodie

“Wha-- How? You’re one of he most beautiful girl’s I’ve ever met. Other guys must’ve fawned over you”

“Well...Maybe I didn’t like the other guys”

J-Hope / Jung Hoseok - It was one of those days where you and Hobi would stay at home and do absolutely nothing. You and Hoseok were sitting on the couch watching TV when your phone started to ring. You get up from Hoseok’s side and walk over to the counter to reach your phone. Looking at the number, you tilt your head to the side, not knowing who it was. Answering the facetime call, you see your old friend Doyoon pop up on the screen. You scream in excitement, frightening Hoseok in the process.

“Doyoon! It’s been forever!!” You exclaim

“I missed you too Y/n” he replies smiling at you.

After hearing a deep voice reply, Hoseok rushes over to your side curious to see who you were talking to. Engulfed in your conversation, you didn’t notice Hobi walking toward you, until he wraps his arms around your waist.

“Oh! Hobi, This is my old friend Doyoon” You say showing Hoseok the screen.

“Is this your boyfriend?” He asks

You nod, smiling.

“Y/n and I have been friends since we were in high school. You should’ve seen how the guys worshiped her, she got asked out left and right,” he laughed “Even I asked her out!”

You feel Hoseok tighten behind you.

“But she always rejected everyone! You’re a lucky man” He laughed

You smile as he loosens up. Hoseok lets go of your waist and goes to the kitchen to grab something to drink. You and Doyoon continue to talk, as Hoseok listens quietly.

“You’re modeling now! I saw your photos in a magazine not too long ago!”

“Yeah I’m living the dream! Anyways I have to go, my manager’s calling. I’ll talk to you soon boo-boo”

As you end the call, you see Hoseok leaning against the counter looking down at his drink. You walk around and stand behind Hobi, wrapping your arms around him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, leaning your head against his back.

“I don’t understand why you picked me for your first boyfriend” He sighs

“Why would you say something like that?” You questioned, frowning as you let go to face him.

“Your friend. He’s a model.”

“Hoseok, I couldn’t date him even if I wanted to. Besides I don’t want to be with him, I want to be with you”

“Y/n  you are so beautiful, it’s a miracle that you actually said yes to me. Why wouldn’t you want to be with someone who’s as good looking as you are, like Doyoon?”

You roll your eyes.

“Because he’s gay.”

Hoseok’s cheeks burn red as walks over and hugs you burying his face in your shoulder as he laughs in embarrassment.

“I love you too Hobi” You laugh.

Park Jimin - After visiting your home town, You and Jimin were on the train heading back to Seoul. While you were there, Jimin learned more about your childhood and where you grew up. The second you stepped off the train, you bumped into many of your old classmates, who revealed to Jimin your soaring popularity in high school. Upon hearing this, Jimin was shocked to find out that he was your first boyfriend and questioned how lucky he was to have such a beautiful girlfriend like you. Here you both were sitting side by side on the train back home enjoying the last few hours you had together before going back to the busy city and back to the busy schedules of reality.

Suddenly a random man probably a couple of years younger than you appears by your side, smiling widely. You shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“uh...” You say awkwardly

The guy gasps. You notice his ears starting to get redder and redder by the second.

“You look just like a fairyyy,” he started “Will you marry me?”

Your eyes widen in embarrassment.

“Oh...Uhm I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are” You say in the most polite way you can.

“Oh gosh. You actually said something to me”

Almost immediately, someone you assumed was his friend, pulls him away apologizing as they walk in the other direction. You quickly turn to Jimin. Your face heated.

“Did that just happen?” You ask confused.

“Trust me, I can’t believe you’re talking to me either” he laughs.

V / Kim Taehyung - It was midnight. You and Tae have yet to fall asleep so here you both were sitting cross legged in front of each other on your bed. You two started off talking about your day at work, but soon after that you talked about almost everything. As soon as you started a new topic about politics, Taehyung groaned falling over to his side and laying on your bed. He takes one of your pillows and props his arm on it, leaning his head on his hand.

“I don’t wanna talk about politics, that’s what old people talk about.” He whined

He sits up again, scooting even closer to you.

“Let’s play 21 questions” he suggests.

“Tae,” You laugh “You already know everything about me”

“Not everything!”

“Fine” You sigh in defeat. “You first”

“Hmm,” He chirped “If you could have any name besides your own what would it be?”

“Uhm...maybe (whatever name you like) because I like the way it sounds” You replied

He smiles, nodding his head.

“Your turn” he says.

“What is something you want to improve on?”

“I want to improve on my drawing” He smiles.

You’ve seen some of his drawings and it always impresses you. How talented this man is, you never understood.

“How many boyfriends have you had?”

“One.” You reply casually.

“I know you were popular in high school! How can you have had only one boyfriend?”

Your cheeks burned a rose color, as you played with your hair.

“I didn’t date anyone in high school”

Taehyung’s eyes widened.

“Wait.”

“You’re my first one” you say hiding your face.

“Jagiyaaaaa” He says hugging you tightly, kissing the top of your head. “Why didn’t you tell me??”

“You didn’t ask” You laugh.

Jeon Jungkook - It was a nice day out. You and Jungkook decided to go out on a walk around the nearby park. Enjoying each other’s company, you two walked in silence. Hand in hand, you lean your head on his shoulder when you hear someone calling your name.

“Y/N!”

Looking up you see a girl around the same age as you running up to you two. You smile politely at her, not knowing who she is. Jungkook looks at you confusingly as you shrug at him, confused as well.

“Y/N!,” The girl exclaims “Hi! It’s been so long”

“Hi” You reply politely with a hint of awkward.

“It’s me! Jihyun, we were both on the cheerleading team in high school”

Your eyes widen as you remember Jihyun, she was one of the cheerleaders you were acquaintances with in high school.

“Jihyun! You look gorgeous! How have you been?” you say.

“I’ve been good!” she smiles, and glances over to Jungkook. Her eyes widen.

“Is this your boyfriend?”

You smile widely at Jungkook, as he pulls you to his side.

“Yes,” you giggle “He is.”

“Oh my gosh! I wish you were in the same high school as y/n and I,” Jihyun starts “She was soooo popular. Almost all the boys asked her out. She even got proposed to”

You feel Jungkook shift uncomfortably next to you.

“How did you get y/n to say yes?” She asked

“Huh?” Jungkook asked confused.

“Yeah! y/n would reject guys left and right.,” she beamed “She even rejected the most popular guy in school”

You look down, shyly as you feel the heat rushing up to your cheeks. Jihyun’s phone buzzes. She looks down at her phone and her eyes widen.

“Oh, It looks like I gotta go,” she apologizes “I hope we could meet up again y/n it was nice running into you.”

Jihyun walks the other way, waving as she left. Suddenly you turn to Jungkook with blushed cheeks. He looks at you adoringly, as his smile grows wider.

“Why didn’t you tell me that I’m your first boyfriend?” He asks.

“You never asked.” You reply laughing.

“So I guess that I’m better than the most popular guy at school”

-Admin Cloud