#'the straight the bent and the queer

[muskmelon-enjoyer-199x]

ngl but I unironically enjoy like the kind of scraggly emo white boy rap music where half the Youtube videos are literal AMVs with desaturated colors and lots of filters

honestly if I was straight then I would probably be way too into bladee or sewerperson, like to the point that it's not healthy or ethical

because I also 100% would not be in a good relationship or any relationship if I was more into dudes

like good men were never interested in me. there just werent enough confidently bisexual men around and I was too weirdly androgynous to attract straight men who werent creepy or desperate

(which oddly has never been a problem with women. old butches in my college classes would chat me up and lex i made to meet new friends last year was full of people who wanted to fuck me for some reason. maybe i just have woman-attracting flavor of androgyny?)

and also men have consistently proven themselves less patient and understanding about my emotional problems and insecurities and would almost certainly have been more likely to ditch me as soon as I become tough to be around

what im saying is that if I was a real genuine man liker i would probably 100% be a toxic femcel fangirl of one or more terminally online emo soundcloud rappers and my social media history would almost certainly be more cancerous and embarrassing

I wouldnt have been the girl in the general thread in 2016 telling whatever trip to stop posting lil peep pictures because it was annoying. I would've been the one posting the lil peep pictures and blasting beamer boy on repeat on my laptop speakers

anyways I was just having some thoughts in my head. just the thing that's on my mind tonight

[sleepknoot]

I was thinking that I didn't have a homoerotic female friendship as a youth and then I remembered I did.

[bluefuecoco]

you do have to suffer through my 2010 gay kids obsession, yes

[dandelionjack]

after nearly a decade of trying to Be The Bigger Person, Take The Higher Ground, “love trumps hate” and Kindness, the democrats have realised that nothing beats the dependable old art of ad-hominem jabs

that’s the thing with conservatives and other breeds of fash. you can’t get to them with civility. if you go on and on (with legitimate concerns, let it be said) about their human rights violations, their power-hungry scapegoating of minorities, their warmongering and hate-stirring, their ceaseless desire for control, they’ll keep taking it as a compliment. they LOVE being told that they’re successful oppressors. it means they’re doing their job right, it means they’re powerful, they’re strong and they’re winning. it’ll fall on deaf ears

that’s why the “weird” line of attack sent them into a tailspin. it’s so surface-level, so painfully middle-school-bully, targeting some kind of primal insecurity that everyone possesses, but nobody more than a conformist. they can deal with being called dangerous, accused of being a threat to democracy — that’s what they crave to hear, a testament to their power. but weird? that’s the worst possible insult — comparing them to us.

when you’ve been “weird” for your entire conscious memory, allegations of abnormality slide off your skin like water. if you call a queer man a fag, he’ll laugh in your face. he’ll take it in stride and get it tattooed. but call a man who makes his masculinity the focal point of his existence a fag — that stings. for the very same reason, that fashion critique guy on twitter riles right wingers up so much: they base their sense of self-esteem on the absolute conviction that their values, behaviours and aesthetics are correct, that anything else is a deviation. they pride themselves on being “straight” in all senses of the word: everyone else is a “pervert”, i.e. twisted and bent. so getting told “um, actually, your shoes are a size too big and your shirt doesn’t fit” shatters their resolve.

spot a rightoid in the wild? don’t call him an authoritarian misogynist. tell him instead that his wife left him for a woman and took the kids. spread a rumour about him fucking a couch. remind him that his nieces and nephews collectively know him as the “creepy uncle” and avoid him at family gatherings. find a photo of lookalike wearing drag and tag him in it.

be petty. because it’s not like they’re ever going to be nice to you

[twotales]

It's very clear that John is queer

Every version on John in my head is queer. Whether he’s bi, gay, aro or ace (or both). It’s gotten to the point where I can no longer comprehend him as straight. It’s like straight John Sheppard is an oxymoron.

honestly???? same. i have nothing against a straight john!! i just personally.... do not see it at all. there's just something so fundamentally queer about him to me idk maybe it's just projection but there's just something about his character that feels so queer to me?? i love gay!john and aroace!john so much, and bi!john is just so fun but i really just cannot see him as straight no matter how hard i try

[garagepaperback]

absolutely love your fic recs omg! do you have any recs for authors who are currently still active? i'll read anything but i'm a big fan of stories that take their time and have a slow slow slow burn.

aww thank you for the ask! here are some of my top-tier favorites from ~active~ authors, varying degrees of slow burn:

probationary action - @toomuchplor

this fic is like being in a carnival funhouse where the walls are writhing, panting, dumb-hot, rigorously perfect smut and then slowly, slowly, you recognize all the mirrors and the warped floor are actually soft, glancing sentiment and crisp prose and then you make it back outside to a big, real, aching world. in the parking lot you will have also important thoughts about the punitive justice system.

Harry breathes out a sigh, dropping his face into the open palms of his hands. “Thank Merlin for you, Neville,” Harry says, looking up again. “You really are the best of all of us.” “I’m not,” says Neville, “but I do want to see you happy, Harry.” Harry reaches out and squeezes Neville’s shoulder fondly. “It must be very interesting, dating Malfoy,” says Neville, standing up. “He uses a lot of sex spells, doesn’t he.”

la, who am i to love you? - @epitomereally

a masterpiece! i'm actually getting sun-soaked dazed eyes just thinking about it. perfect, heat-scoured (the riddled-with-light skies! the la fires! the radiant blooming gardens! the fucking pool!) lush location, one of the most interesting takes, and still true-to-the-marrow depictions of harry, draco, pansy, luna - the list is endless. also so hot, and so dear. even the traffic feels dreamy.

“Maybe you could list the pros and cons of moving to LA for me, Harry,” Dr Goldstein prods. Uncomfortably, all Harry can think is Draco, Draco, Draco.

the july tree - @oknowkiss

:,) this is so sweet, fun, hot and adoring from another masterful prose-maker. everything that is glanced at feels so naturally done, the vividness creeps in before you're liable to fully realize you're in fact reading and not truly looking. explorative and understanding. 10/10, wonderful, a hundred gold stars.

His neck was in shambles from where it had been bent over to one side. He tried to move but there was a heavy weight on his shoulder. He looked down and saw Potter had fallen asleep on him. Potter’s hand had slipped between Draco’s legs, just above his knees, and then the train came to a stop and Potter woke up as well, lifting his head, his glasses slightly crooked. Draco wanted to go back an hour and keep himself awake, so that he could feel Potter on him, warm and heavy and unguarded. Instead he’d had only a few seconds before Potter sat up straight, stretching his arms overhead. He smiled at Draco before standing, resting his hand on top of Draco’s head as he walked by. It was lovely, and intimate, but all Draco could think of was the hour he’d slept through, an hour of time spent with Potter he wouldn’t ever get back, his brain repeating over and over, I missed it.

cut from the sky - @mallstars

so much of what i'm desperate to say about this fic is [redacted] for spoiler reasons! such a raw romance wound around an incredible, engaging, heart-stuttering plot. i'm jutting my lip out and there's a vacant ache in my ribs where my heart's supposed to be over this one. lovely, queer, splendid, just perfect. god.

"Please," Harry heard himself say, though he didn't quite know what he was asking. Draco kissed his forehead. "Of course," he replied. "What would you like?" Harry shivered, watching the runnels of water against Draco's flushed cheek. "Please," Harry said again, dropping his head against Draco's leather-clad shoulder, thinking of his hotel room, of stumbling into Draco's store tomorrow, calling him Malfoy and pretending his days didn't revolve entirely around him, "Please don't leave. Please don't leave just yet."

gallows-bird - @jtimu

i want to describe this one with eight knife emoji's and nothing more. four chapters in and every single one individually has ruined my day. it's wonderful, dreary, just enough gray that you'll wonder if the glint you thought you saw was hope or just a trick of the light. highly recommend, misery loves company, come on through.

There hadn’t ever been anyone to soothe Harry’s hurts. To fuss over his skinned knees or brush his hair back from his temples with tender thumbs, too coo softly over a scrape. Comfort was something he’d learned secondhand, dear and hard-bought, and so sat there with his fingers twisted together, knuckles like knotgrass, and tried to wrench the words out. He wanted to touch, instinct told him that much, but he lacked the framework for how and where, and so he didn’t, and they sat there together in a thorny silence.

from love, obviously - @starsworth

counting even though bizarrestars is writing mostly (lovely! gender-explorative! wonderful! wolfstar and also black familial fic currently) not drarry because just god damn. an essential read for me. weirdo, phenomenal draco and the best teddy in the game, easily. hilarious but in that way where your breath snags after laughing really hard and the moment sort of echoes.

"You were kissing," Teddy says. "I saw it."  Harry's eyes sink shut for a moment, and he drags a hand through his hair, which Draco may have accidentally made a mess of, then he blows out a deep breath and opens his eyes. "That's—well, that did happen, yes. That was…something we did."  Teddy's eyes narrow. "I thought you were mortal enemies."  "Mortal enemies kiss…sometimes," Harry says weakly, clearly out of his depth here. He grimaces almost immediately after he says this, then seems to remember he's the adult out of the two of them and coughs, standing up taller. "Nevermind that, you'll understand when you're older."

close behind - @oflights

oh my whole fucking heart. destroyed! adrift! she died how she lived. reading this feels like listening to music, something sleek and melodic, and when i actually consider the masterfully-rendered level of complexity in the plot, it feels like trying to peer into the belly of an actively-playing grand piano. certainly does not hurt to be an enormous fan of eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, orpheus and eurydice myth, and general suffering <3

“It’ll be all right,” Draco said again, and Harry swallowed the rest of his words. He couldn’t let them out here, in their bed, in their home; not yet. And his body didn’t know how to say what he wanted it to, not with Draco this close. Harry didn’t know how to tell Draco that they wouldn’t be all right, not in any language. Not yet.

[gatheringbones]

writing questions to help with queer erotophobia:

what feelings and images come up when you begin to write queer erotica? how do these feelings and images inhibit or encourage your writing?

how do you relate to the assumptions that could be made about you from your erotic writing?

how do you feel about the image of yourself as capable of summoning, describing, and directing erotic power?

does the straight/cis gaze have any power over your work? how do you relate to the idea of straight people reacting to it, projecting onto it, or misinterpreting it? how anxious do you feel about preventing any reactions/takeaways from your work that you don’t want straight people to have? how much control do you think you have over that?

where is the line of “Too Much” when it comes to erotic writing and how anxious are you about crossing it?

where is the line between Correct and Incorrect sexuality and how anxious are you about crossing it?

what backlash do you envision as a result of your work? what consequences and from where?

what happens just before you begin to experience severe writing paralysis? what thoughts, feelings, and reactions led to you feeling so inhibited?

what voices, if any, of friends, family members, acquaintances, or imaginary audience members pop up in your mind when you write?

what are your favorite pieces of queer erotica? who wrote them and from which experiences did they build them?

what pressures did the author(s) face that tried to discourage them from writing? what were the motivating factors behind these pressures? how were they resisted?

how protective do you feel about other queer writers attempting to create erotic work in a world bent on their erasure and destruction?

how would it feel to extend that protection to you and your writing?

[drchucktingle]

Hello, Dr. Tingle. Just finished reading Camp Damascus and I wanted to let you know that I loved it. ^_^ That ending blew me away. Couldn't stop reading until I was done. Loved the characters. It gave me some things to think about, too. Great book, thank you very much for writing it. Looking forward to Bury Your Gays. Hope you have a wonderful day!

thank you i am so glad to hear you enjoyed CAMP DAMASCUS it seems to really be resonating with this timeline. you never know what art will do when it leaves your cupped hands and starts to flutter around the room. will it crash or will it grow and bloom and spread out far and wide with a million flashing wings. camp damascus has spread far and wide because of buckaroos like yourself. it is sort of IN THE CANON now when discussing queer horror and that is so powerful it is honestly overwhelming for me to think on. i sit back and think 'whoa chuck and all the buckaroos got together and we actually bent this timeline around us'

i think BURY YOUR GAYS has the potential to be like this as well for a number of reasons. it is a BIG BIG SWING of a book and it has a lot to say about art and what it means to be a creator, about the value of FANDOM and being inspired by what came before you: shows, music, books, film. about the humanity of all this and how these are things that should be nourished and cherished. about how everything is fan fiction in its own way and fan fiction is valid

it is about how queerness weaves into all that. how it weaves through fandoms and what happens when it does. about the responsibility of queer creators.

it is also about asexual buckaroos and representation and how the letters of fun alphabet trot need to support one another. (STRAIGHT is also about this)

anyway that is a bit of a ramble but i just cant wait to see how BURY YOUR GAYS bends this timeline as well. i think we are just getting started bud. i think CAMP DAMASCUS made a dent and BURY YOUR GAYS is going to tie this strings of this reality in a big beautiful bow

i am so thankful to have my buckaroos here with me when it happens. this is our way as buds, the whole dang lot of us. this is our trot together

oh and PREORDER BURY YOUR GAYS

[scarefox]

Pisses me off and doesn't let me go that I learned a few days ago that the actors of "City of Stars" got called queerbaiter for kissing on the mouth in a tiktok meme / trend for fun (a trend so many did, just usually they kiss on the cheek or do whatever, these two are the first actually kissing on the mouth... 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ who cares??). BUT Porsche was made to APOLOGISE about it (tho he doesn't fully understand what it means because duh.... there is nothing to understand here, he didn't do anything wrong...)!! Can you fucking believe this backwards shit happening with 2024s social media police?!?!? (and pretty sure lead on by people who aren't even queer themselves because all the queers I know are fine or indifferent with this stuff)

Congratulations @ the moral police / haters who literally told two real life men to not be allowed to kiss each other on the mouth just because they are not dating for real and they assume they are hetero.

This damn queerbaiting discourse going through the fandom on social media right now, where people being so hell bent over it that it MUST apply to real people too.... WHICH IT DOES NOT! Queerbaiting is literally about fictional content marketed towards queer people but then not delivering anything queer related in the fiction. It is literally a term made because of Supernatural and Teen Wolf baity marketing back then! BL is the exact opposite of that!! And even if you argue that the actors are doing fanservice, which isn't as fishy anymore as it was a few years ago, THEN they are still marketing their series with it WHICH IS QUEER and therefore still doesn't qualify as queerbaiting! If fans still doesn't understand that fanservice is mainly just fun and games and not real dating actors, then that too is not queerbaiting. And I am talking about nowadays fanservice, not TharnType era fanservice where they actually pretended to be more than just coworkers.

Real people can not queerbait, because you don't know their true sexuality. Even if they say they are straight, they could still keep private (or not even know themselves) that they are open to experiment or are questioning! And even IF they are 100% straight: Newsflash even 100% heterocis & people who are not dating are totally allowed to kiss each other on the mouth if they want to for funsies! Body autonomy, free will, consent and all that~

Also wouldn't it be great if even hetero guys kiss each other without fear and judgement?

[genericpuff]

What are your thoughts on LO Krokos and LO Ampelus (Psyche) ?

These two male mythological figures, who had a gay relationship with gods, turned into female characters ! If they weren't included (especially since Dionysus is still a baby here), I wouldn't mind. But just using those names like that TWICE is strange, right ?

It's also weird how LO turns two virgin goddesses into lesbians, but don't even implement the canon gay relationships.

Can you find an explanation?

I mean I can't really offer an explanation because obviously I have no way of really seeing into Rachel's head, but it's definitely a choice that she's taken so many gods and characters from Greek myth and turned them into something else entirely, it feels very random and, in the case of the gods who were canonically gay/queer/etc. ... it's hard to ignore and give benefit of the doubt.

Another example is Persephone's therapist, Chiron, who's not just gender bent, but also put into the role of being a therapist ?? Which is like, okay, fine, but like... what is this accomplishing besides vaguely referencing Chiron's affiliation with medicine LOL

(this wound up turning into a bit of an essay so I'm including a jump to make it easier for scrollers lol)

To me, it just feels like it really cements Rachel as not being as well-read in Greek myth as she claims to be, because so much of the actual Greek myth in this comic is either taken directly from first results on Google (see: Zeus' definition of xenia which is taken straight from a Princeton study guide from 2004) and slapped haphazardly into the comic where it's convenient, OR it's just vaguely referenced at even if it's not being properly utilized (like she saw 'Chiron, wise centaur' and went "yeah cool she can be the therapist character!"). I have zero explanation or even assumption as to why she'd turn Crocus, a male lover of Hermes, into Krokos the flower nymph, or why she'd choose to use Ampelus as the name Psyche adopts after being turned into a nymph (which also didn't happen in the original myth). These are "creative choices" that come across as less creative and more just random attempts to make her seem smart.

Like, to a surface level reader or someone who's new to the series, it might seem neat and subversive (it definitely did to me back when I started reading and fell in love with it), but then you actually get further in and peel back the layers and go, "wait, she's just grabbing Greek names that are affiliated with real Greek heroes and gods and characters at random-" and it gets especially ick when it commits queer erasure in the process.

Don't get me wrong, I think having fun with character designs and swapping them or changing them up is perfectly fine, that's the fun of re-interpreting old stories, it's not that on its own that's the issue. It's just that these re-interpreted characters have literally NOTHING to do with the characters that she's basing them on. At least in Punderworld where Charon is a woman, she's still a psychopomp who ferries souls to the Underworld, her being gender-bent doesn't change much because her character and role in the story is still largely the same. Or like in Hadestown how the Underworld is more of a coalmine with Hades running it as a business, instead of the River Styx being a literal river it's a brick wall that protects the Underworld from outsiders ("and they call it freedom"). In both of these examples, they're taking the source material and making it fun and new, while still respecting the source material they're taking it from and keeping it on theme with that source material.

By comparison, Rachel just creates these character references and that's where it ends, they're just references and they don't do anything new or interesting with them, they're not even adjacent to what they're referencing. So we wind up with Chiron being a therapist, Ampelus being the nymph version of Psyche, the Fates looking and acting the exact same as each other even though they had different roles to play between Past, Present, and Future, and Aphrodite's children who... are literally made up from scratch, instead of pulling from the actual real children that Aphrodite had loads of in the original myths.

So many of Rachel's writing choices feel like attempts to be "subversive" when they're not, they're just random. Nothing about the things she changes from the original source material does anything to further explore that source material, it's just yoinking things at random to try and seem more Greek while also further separating her work from legitimate Greek culture. Even when you THINK something is about to be retold in an interesting way, it's very promptly either swept under the rug or veered off in a whole other direction that makes zero sense for what it set up (ex. Echo, what the fuck happened to Echo-)

It's very "ideas first, structure never" writing, she comes up with standalone ideas that sound good in isolation, until she actually tries to execute them and connect them and you realize they have no through line or reason to exist the way they do. It's giving real hard "first draft" vibes, so much of what Rachel chose to do should have been left on the cutting room floor (meanwhile the things that supposedly did get left on the cutting room floor SHOULD HAVE BEEN KEPT IN THE COMIC, ex. Hera's coat prophecy, Hades and Persephone having a date in the Underworld where she decides she might want to go into law, etc.)

Ugh. This got longer than I intended it to. It's just frustrating. I have inspiration to write that essay about queer erasure in LO now, at least. So yeah, hold on tight for that one LMAO

[bengiyo]

Comfort Films Tag

Rules: List 7 of your comfort movies, then tag 7 people.

Tagged by @callipigio

1 - Shelter (2007)

I often joke around here about how I’ve been watching queer cinema for over half of my life at this point, and it’s easy to recommend this film. This is a coming of age film about a guy who gave up art school to become the primary breadwinner and caregiver for his family. However, when the older brother of his best friend returns to their town to collect himself, our artist and he reconnect and find something special between them. Great use of a young actor in this shores up the caregiving aspects.

I’m probably going to rewatch it now. Because it was produced by Here! TV, you can only legally watch it via a subscription to their platform. I own it on DVD because I fell in love with it and knew I needed to keep it forever.

2 - Big Eden (2000)

Big Eden. Oh, Big Eden. This is the film equivalent of a warm blanket and a tight hug. It’s about an artist named Henry Hart, who is preparing for a big exhibition in New York when he’s called back home to Montana because his uncle has had a stroke. We are greatest with the most queer-friendly town to ever exist as Henry manages his old angst about his straight best friend as the local general store owner also secretly pursues him. It’s absolutely lovely.

3 - The Blues Brothers (1980)

Luna has great taste, because this is one of the best films ever made. What was originally just an SNL bit turns into a fun road film about getting the band back together so that two brothers can raise enough money to pay the back taxes owed by the orphanage they grew up in. We also run over Illinois nazis in this movie and demolish dozens of cop cars. Cab Calloway, James Brown, Carrie Fisher, Chaka Khan, Paul Reubens, and Aretha Franklin are in it. John Candy orders orange whips. This is the kind of film I would watch with my dad any time it was on.

4 - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

This is one of the most man movies ever made. I don’t know any woman who wants to sit down and watch this film, but me and boys will spend an entire afternoon on this film in a heartbeat. The sexual tension between Russell Crowe’s and Paul Bettany’s characters goes unremarked on this website in a way that lets you know for sure this hellsite is dominated by femmes, because those two have definitely fucked. At least twice. It’s 1805 and oceans have become battlefields!

5 - Clue (1985)

A movie based on the board game of the same name should not have been this good, but it instead goes on to become a camp masterpiece. Many people will end up remembering Tim Curry for Rocky Horror or even Muppet Treasure Island, but this is still one of his favorite performances for me. This film is batshit and I love it. 

6 - Camp (2003)

Speaking of camp films, let’s talk about one of the best of all time. I know we often talk about the bad singing in Thai BL, but I unironically love all of the musical theater in this film. I regularly listen to this soundtrack, and have been for over 15 years. It’s a film about a bunch of weird theater kids who get to escape the bullying and hellishness of their lives for a few weeks during the summer, where they get to put on a bunch of classic plays. It’s so camp. I love this film because it was difficult for me to find queer films that had happy components with them, and this little movie has a wide array of queer kids in it.

7 - Make The Yuletide Gay (2009)

This was the first queer film I ever watched that had a happy ending that was also a comedy. Prior to this, I think I had watched Beautiful Thing (1996), Edge of Seventeen (1998), Get Real (1998), and Bent (1997). Most of those films ended resolved or sad. Yuletide is a silly little gay film of almost nonstop innuendo about a guy who goes back into the closet when he returns home for Christmas, but hijinks ensue when his boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. It’s an annual watch for me around the holidays, and I usually host people for it. 

Also, Adamo Ruggiero is in it! He played Marco on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

This was fun! I think most folks have been tagged that I know, but I’ll tag @warningtothecurious​. If anyone else does this, please tag me back if you do this! I want to know what films you all return to.

[talxns]

help i’m so scared of your recent poll what if it becomes REAL!

AHAHAHAH SERIOUSLY

it’s the monkeys paw. we’ll technically get brudick but it HAS to have some really annoying catch. i do think that eventually SOMETHING will happen???? something that can’t be easily explained away as fraternal or parental admiration and devotion, something really explicitly brudick.

but i think it’s highly contingent upon the american social climate toward LGBTQ+ people. DC has become more inclusive of queer characters and themes because they understand that their fanbases have queer people in them and they can make money off them (following the trend of corporations starting to cater to queer people circa 2011). but if the pendulum swings in the opposite direction (think of companies like Target rolling back their Pride Month collection because they bent to the complaints of conservatives), there is a much lower chance.

even still, implying either or both of DC’s poster children for aggressive heterosexuality could be gay would cause an uproar among DC’s target marketing demographic (straight white men). and especially now that DC want to hammer in the father & son dynamic.

outside of tumblr on the wild internet i have seen extremely homophobic takes on tim drake coming out as bisexual. the outrage if it were batman would be cataclysmic.

of all the options in my poll, i’d hope that the one that comes true is the “tiny au versions of brudick are shown in the background of a splash panel”.

confirmation of a universe where they are romantically together opens the door to exploring that universe. it would be baby steps. a pill easy to swallow. the straight white male fans would be able to say “well thats not prime earth so it means nothing.” they can still say the real batman and nightwing gets pussy exclusively, masculinity preserved another day. 🫡

the option i would dislike the most would be genderbending dick. eye-rolling in its simplicity.

or they create some backstory for dick where he is a transgender man and imply that bruce was attracted to him but only before he medically transitioned or something. their “breakup” happens and dick begins a medical transition, making it one of the reasons their relationship is fraught. they’d use it as an excuse for why dick wore a leotard when he was robin since they are evidently very embarrassed about that too. i hate this idea, by the way.

as for the most likely option, i think it would be “they do something gay and have to be disgusted/reassert their straightness right after”. it would involve some forcefully drug induced state or mind-control that would “make” them do something, and then they’d be creeped out and visibly uncomfortable that it happened. it would be used for comedic effect and not taken seriously at all. or perhaps just an offhanded reference to such an event so they don’t have to show it. something like:

“Remember that one night when Poison Ivy hit us with that mdma powder? I had such a hard time explaining to Kori why there was a love bite on my—” interrupted by Bruce being extremely bitch faced about it. dick shuts up and they never bring it up again.

[olderthannetfic]

I saw a good post about the anti-BL creators of Western BL flavored stuff like Heartstopper and RWRB that was like: if they are so hell bent on the idea that their stuff is aimed at gay and bisexual men or boys, why did they not bother to look at any media by/for gay men? It’s not like that’s hard to find. Even if you’re just looking at stuff for teens like with Heartstopper author, most of the big YA books about gay or bi male characters are by gay male authors. Maybe try reading those. They’re clearly reading nothing but slash fanfic and maybe like M/M romance novels for women or like, idk, Check Please, and then going Shocked Pikachu Face when it turns out their books are way more popular with female audiences and Heartstopper TV has a famous gay man talk about how it’s clearly not for gay men and not how actual gay boys act.

And like… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with M/M stuff for women, the author of this post was clear that she didn’t think there was either. But these authors clearly wanted to make M/M for men so like… maybe talk to queer men or look at the media queer men are making for themselves if that is your goal! Less fanfic, more Looking or whatever.

It’s just the sheer fucking hubris of assuming that because they are some other flavor of queer and they’ve read some M/M fiction (slash fanfic) that they must know what it’s like to be every type of LGBTQ+ and don’t need to do any research to appeal to that audience.

--

They don't want to make m/m for cis gay male culture.

What they want is to have their current tastes validated in a "You're one of the boys and those other filthy fujos aren't!" way.

Trust me, this crap has been going on since the 90s and before. It's a common affliction of slash fans who want to be the most special. That goes for the trans men trying to assert their masculinity in a world that doesn't respect them as much as for the straight ladies who endlessly tell you about their Gay Best Friend. It's a disease that hits all parts of BL fandom.

It's just our local flavor of "Knitting isn't just for GIRLS anymore!" and "Now you can drink tea as a MAN!" startup bro insecurities. You know, the people being parodied here.

The best we can do is to keep laughing in their faces and keep treating BL as a marketing niche with genre conventions that's open to whomever shares that taste.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Personal Lies

A/N: Like I said, getting into the hellcheer headspace. Had to make a quick one-shot. Based on my past internal conflict from when I was figuring things out. I called myself many things: straight, lesbian, nothing at all. . .I still don't have it all figured out, and things could always change, but I'm a bisexual. Here's to the other bisexuals who have sometimes not felt quite queer enough because you're dating the opposite sex. . .whether it's because of how other people made you feel or how you made yourself feel.

Eddie sighed as he watched her dance with El. It wasn't possible. And yet. . .He watched Chrissy dance with pure joy and enthusiasm, not caring how she looked for once. She was going absolutely mad to the beat of the music, letting out her frustrations with El, showing her how to do it herself. They were all gathered at Steve's house for a movie, but the tape they were supposed to watch somehow got ruined. It ended up turning into a dance party. Chrissy was absolutely beautiful.

"There's no way," he muttered underneath his breath.

He watched the way Chrissy's strawberry blonde hair flew around her, her smile lighting up the room as her skirt slapped against her legs. Her denim skirt. . .the way it moved with her. . .it went well with her pink top. Pink looked good on her, maybe because it was her favorite color, and she always seemed happier when she was wearing it. Eddie shouldn't like this. And yet. . .

"You ever going to tell her?" Steve asked, startling him out of his thoughts.

"Tell who what?" Eddie asked.

"Chrissy, man. It's so obvious that you like her," Steve said.

"What? No, I don't," Eddie scoffed. "Maybe you like her."

"No, I don't, man," Steve laughed. "I mean, maybe in another life. You've got your eyes locked on her. You never stop talking about her, and you're always in each other's orbit."

"I could say the same thing about you and Robin," Eddie said.

"You could, but you know that's different," Steve said.

"Why are you so interested in my love life?" Eddie asked, with a scowl.

"You meddled in mine. It's only fair that I return the favor," he replied.

"Look, man, I can't like Chrissy. It's just not possible," he said.

"Why? Because she's a cheerleader?" Steve asked.

"That has nothing to do with it. I'm not so judgemental about it anymore," Eddie said.

"So, why can't you like her?" Steve asked.

"Because I'm gay, Steve," Eddie replied.

Steve stared at him in surprise, his eyes blinking rapidly at him. He wasn't moving away from him, though.

"Well," Steve said thoughtfully. "I totally appreciate you telling me that, but you know it's possible to like - "

"You know what?! I think I'm going to go dance!" Eddie grinned and bounced away.

He wasn't about to let Steve Harrington tell him who he was, despite the fact that they were practically best friends now. Eddie knew who he was. . .right? Chrissy turned on him as soon as he stepped out on the dance floor. Shit, this might have been a bad idea. She beamed at the sight of him, her cheeks flushed and her hair a mess. It was doing something to his heart. Maybe it was time to see a doctor. It didn't appear as though he had much choice as Chrissy pulled him into dancing with her. He didn't put up a fight at all.

"Fuck."

A couple of weeks later, Eddie bent over the hood of the van, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. He knew what was wrong with her. She was a piece of junk, and that hadn't changed since his dad had given him the van. They had enough money now, he could get a new van. Eddie wasn't sure why he was trying to save her, but he could guess that it was the stupid part of himself that was still trying to hang on to his asshole of a father.

"Eddie?" A familiar sweet voice called out.

Eddie cursed as he banged his head on the hood of the van. He turned around around to find Chrissy standing there, looking beautiful as always. Jesus, can she stop looking like an angel for five fucking seconds? It's not fair, and it certainly wasn't fair that the sun happened to cast that beam of light over them right at that moment. Goddamnit, the sun was an asshole. That same funny feeling was back in his chest again, the same feeling he first felt when they had their moment at the picnic table. He wanted it to go away.

"Hey, Chrissy," Eddie groaned as he clutched the back of his head.

"Are you okay?" She asked in concern as she moved closer.

Eddie stepped back, away from her and the van. In his peripheral, he could see Max looking at him from her porch steps. When they were both offered new places to live, it was a no-brainer for both of them to continue living across from each other. It had become like a habit. The truth was that they imprinted on each other like baby ducks after the spring break break from hell. It was an unspoken agreement that they thought of each other like brother and sister. Much like Max thought of Steve, Nancy, Robin, and even Jonathan as well as Argyle. Although, the last one. . .she still wasn't sure what to think of him. It was still an adjustment for both Eddie and Max to go back to living in a house again. Eddie gave Max a thumbs up, and she turned back to her comic book, pushing her glasses back up her face.

"Yeah, I'm bitching," Eddie grinned. "What brings Lady Cunningham here today?"

"Well, I was hoping to see you," Chrissy said and crossed her arms. "I feel like you've been ignoring me."

"Just been busy, is all," Eddie said, turning away from her.

"Did I do something wrong?" Chrissy asked.

Eddie whirled around, his eyes wide.

"Of course not!" Eddie yelled.

"Well, you've been trying hard not to look at me, and every time I try to get closer to you," Chrissy said and walked over to him, causing him to back away. "You pull away. If I'm being too much, just tell me. I can handle it."

Eddie cursed himself as Chrissy stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, her eyes growing wider than usual. He moved closer to her and gently grabbed her arms.

"Chrissy Cunningham, you can never be too much," Eddie said.

"Then what's the problem?" She asked softly.

"I like you," he whispered, feeling like he was betraying himself. "A lot more than I should."

Chrissy beamed, and he could practically feel his skin burn as though she really was the sun. He was going to need sunscreen around her.

"I like you, too," she whispered.

Chrissy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Eddie sighed and melted into her arms. He buried his face into her shoulder, breathing in her scent and her perfume. God, she was intoxicating. Chrissy didn't let go of him, but she did pull her head back. Her face was inches away from his, and he could feel her breath on his lips. She moved to kiss him, and he moved without thinking, inching closer to her lips. That's when he remembered. Eddie jerked back and stumbled out of her arms.

"Eddie?"

"I'm sorry! Nope!" Eddie yelped.

"I thought you said you liked me," Chrissy said and he hated how hurt she looked.

"I did say that! I do! I shouldn't!" He panicked.

"Why shouldn't you? Are you really still bothered by me being a jock?" She asked. "I can't change who I am nor do I want to. I did that enough with my mother, and I am not going to do that with you, Eddie Munson!"

"That's not - I don't have a problem with it anymore!" Eddie yelled. "I swear."

"I don't believe you," Chrissy sniffled, tears welling up in her eyes. "Don't you want to kiss me?"

"I don't!" Eddie yelled in frustration.

"But you like me?" She asked.

"Yes!"

"So then kiss me!" Chrissy yelled.

"I can't!"

"Call me when you figure things out!" She screamed in frustration and stormed off towards her car.

Eddie watched her drive away, running his hands through his hair and yanking on it as he did so. His eyes caught sight of Max. At some point, she had gone inside to grab a bag of chips.

"You're a dingus!" Max yelled.

"Stop hanging out with Robin!" Eddie shrieked and stormed inside.

Later that evening, Steve and Robin walked into his living room to find him sitting on the couch crying and eating ice cream while watching a movie.

"You know he doesn't have to be with her just because she's a woman!" Eddie yelled at the screen. "Emilio Estevez is right there!"

"Well, you don't look good, buddy," Robin frowned.

"Aren't you lactose intolerant?" Steve asked.

"Why are you here?" Eddie asked with a heavy sigh.

Eddie was pretty sure he already knew what he looked like. Dressed in ratty pajamas, his hair a mess, and chocolate ice cream staining his mouth. . .He was definitely a mess.

"Well, Max called us and said you were in distress," Steve said.

"Then Chrissy called and said you being a dick," Robin said.

"Chrissy called me a dick?" Eddie asked quietly, looking at her with his wide brown doe eyes.

"No, I added that part. The word she used was confusing," Robin said. "She is hurt, though."

"I didn't mean to hurt her, I swear!" Eddie exclaimed and burst into tears.

"It's that time again, isn't it?" Steve asked sympathetically.

Eddie collapsed on the couch and curled up into a ball.

"Stupid bat bites," Eddie muttered.

"One of these days, you two are going to have it at the same time, and I'll be conveniently out of town," Robin said.

Steve and Robin sat down next to the couch.

"I didn't tell her what you told me, by the way," Steve said.

"Why not?" Eddie asked.

"Because it wasn't for me to say," Steve replied.

"I can't like Chrissy," Eddie said.

"Why?" Robin asked.

"Because I'm gay," Eddie said.

"Oh," Robin said in surprised. "Well, uh, thank you for telling me. Steve, I think this might be your department."

"Aren't you the lesbian in this relationship?" Eddie asked, confused.

"Dingus," Robin said and plopped down on her butt.

"I just - ," Eddie sighed. "I have been with women, but I never really liked them the way that I wanted to. Well, I thought I wanted to. I'm not sure the first one counts because she slept with me on a dare. But Paige, I only ever saw her as my way out of here. I think she actually liked me, but she was using me too, which is why I told myself that it was okay to treat her like she was a plane ticket. It wasn't okay to treat her like that even if I was hurting, and Chrissy doesn't deserve that. She deserves someone who's interested in her, not someone who's trying to force themselves to."

"Is that what you think?" Steve asked.

"It's what I know, man," Eddie sniffled. "I always preach about forced conformity, but I can't even accept that I'm gay. I feel like I have to like women because that's what guys are supposed to do, right? I spent so much time pretending that I like women, and I started to believe the lie."

"You ever masturbated to the image of a naked woman?" Steve asked.

"Steve!" Robin exclaimed.

"I mean, yeah, but that's only because her ass was hanging out. As you very well know, I am an ass man," Eddie sniffled.

"Yeah, I know," Steve muttered. "Look, Eddie, if you didn't have to think about her as a man, then you were probably attracted to her."

"I know who am I," he muttered.

"I'm not trying to tell you who you are. I'm trying to give you advice, and that it's okay," Steve said and stroked Eddie's hair. "I will tell you who I am. I'm bisexual."

"What?" Eddie asked, confused.

"I like men, I like women," Steve said. "I never knew that until Nancy Wheeler came along. I didn't think women were for me, either."

"All those girls. . .," Eddie said in shock.

"Rumors that made it easy to pretend like they were true," Steve said. "I didn't sleep with other women until things ended with Nancy."

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm not gay?" Eddie asked and then muttered. "I didn't even know you could do that."

"I'm not trying to tell you anything except that what you decide. . .it's okay. . .it's okay if you like more than one gender. It's okay to like women and like men," Steve said. "It's okay to like whatever you like. . .I mean, within reason. Liking women as well as men doesn't make you any less queer."

Eddie let out a sob and nudged his head further into his hand.

"I think I knew that," Eddie whispered. "I don't know why I was so hard on myself."

"Because forced conformity can be scary, the idea that anyone can force you to be anyone other than yourself and it can, like, scare you so much that you end up doing it to yourself," Steve said. "A lot times, our own worst enemy is ourselves."

"I still don't know," Eddie mumbled.

"Well, just because we're technically legally adults, it doesn't mean we have to have it all figured it out right now," Stege said. "I still don't know what I want to do career wise."

"Thanks, Steve," Eddie sniffled.

"But you should be honest with Chrissy and tell her you don't know how you feel. You don't have to tell her everything but you should tell her that, at least. You both deserve it," Robin said.

"Yeah, I will," Eddie sniffled. "Thanks, you guys."

"Do you need me to pick up something bloody?" Steve asked as he continued to stroke his hair.

"I've got a steak defrosting," Eddie replied.

"Ew. Gross," Robin said, scrunching up her nose.

"You'd think she'd sympathize," Eddie scowled.

"Yeah, well, she made the mistake of watching me down a raw steak when it was my time," Steve said.

"It was disgusting," Robin said, and Eddie snorted with laughter.

"Freaks," Robin said affectionately.

Eddie decided to wait until his time of the month was over with to talk with Chrissy. A decision both Robin and Steve thought was wise. Over the last few days, his thoughts wirled around in his head like a category five hurricane. That's the worst one, right? His wrestling thoughts resulted in him acting even more erratic than usual. Not even Wayne could untangle his thoughts. It didn't come to a head until the night before he decided to talk to Chrissy. He had tossed and turned that night, his thoughts just as restless. Finally, Eddie managed to fall asleep, hoping he didn't loose Chrissy forever.

"CHRISSY! CHRISSY, WAKE UP! I DON'T LIKE THIS!"

Eddie was in the woods, the very woods where Chrissy had come to buy drugs from him. Chrissy was sitting at the table like usual. Across from her, however, was not Eddie but Jason Carver. Chrissy looked over her shoulder at him.

"I got tired of waiting for you, Eddie," Chrissy said.

"You think you actually love her?" Jason asked, spitting at him. "You're just using her. What makes you any different than anyone else in her life?"

The sky above them turned a dark red, and lightening flashed angrily. Eddie looked back to find that both of them were gone.

"Freak!" He heard Jason's voice yell.

"Chrissy, this is for you."

They were in the Upside Down version of the gym, and Jason had just thrown a ball into the broken hoop. Except that it wasn't a ball. It was Eddie's decapitated head. The worst part was that Chrissy was on the sidelines, cheering Jason on. Eddie tried to scream, but no sound came out. Suddenly, Eddie was sitting on the catwalk in the theater room, above the stage, and watching as Chrissy dangled from it.

"EDDIE!"

Eddie tried to grab her, but it was like her hand wasn't really there. Suddenly, Chrissy was falling, and then she disappeared into the darkness. Suddenly, it was Eddie pinning Jason up against the lockers while Chrissy tried to pull him off of him. No, that's not how that happened. It was Jason and his friends who had attacked him. . .it was Chrissy who begged for them to stop. Fake Eddie's eyes were red and dripping with blood.

"FREAK!" Chrissy screamed.

Suddenly, they were back in Eddie's trailer. Chrissy was being pinned to the ceiling again, and he was watching as her body was crushed, her eyes bursting. . .just like the illusion that Vecna had shown him. Eddie was screaming. Suddenly, he was in complete darkness. There was nothing. No Chrissy, no trailer. . .nothing. . . .Eddie was utterly alone.

"CHRISSY!"

Eddie sat up in bed with a gasp. His legs were being strangled, and he yelped as he tried to escape the creature's gasp. He pulled himself free, falling face first off the bed. Oh, it wasn't a monster. The things that had him were his sheets. He laid there for a moment as the memory of the illusion that Henry had planted in his mind over spring break imprinted itself behind his eyelids, and then he remembered the darkness from the nightmare. . .Chrissy was dead. No, she wasn't. She was alive, and she was here. All of the memories of their time together flooded his mind. . .and suddenly, it was all falling into place. Oh, God. He was in love with Chrissy. Suddenly, Wayne burst into the room.

"I heard you fall, you okay, son?" Wayne asked, breathing heavily.

"Yeah, more than okay," Eddie laughed.

The next day, Eddie wore the outfit that he knew Chrissy loved on him and picked up her favorite flowers. Potted, of course. Eddie drove slow for once, his heart pounding with each mile. Finally, though, he pulled up to Chrissy's new house. She now lived with her cousin, Vickie, who also happened to be Robin's girlfriend. Eddie smoothed his hair down and straightened his vest. He grabbed the flowers and jumped out of the van. He walked up to the door and knocked. Vickie answered. She smiled at him. Boy, she does not have a mean bone in her body. Shouldn't she be mad at him?

"Hi, Eddie," Vickie said brightly. "Chrissy! Eddie's here!"

It took a while for Chrissy to come to the door, something Eddie was sure she had done on purpose. He didn't blame her. Vickie took the flowers for Chrissy and disappeared when she finally came to the door.

"Hi," Chrissy said.

"Hi."

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?" Chrissy asked.

"I'm an idiot," Eddie blurted out. "Although, Robin pointed out that I was more clueless than an idiot. I don't know what the difference is."

"Well, one sounds nicer," Chrissy said.

"Yeah, I suppose. Can we go for a walk?" Eddie asked. "I don't want to be overheard."

Chrissy nodded and closed the front door behind her. They walked off down the sidewalk. It was silent for a while as Eddie tried to gather his thoughts. Chrissy was about to open her mouth to say something when Eddie beat her to it. It started to come out all at once. Everything he had been feeling, all the confusing thoughts he's had about others and himself. He was saying it all at such Robin and Vickie like speed that he felt like he had surpassed them. They would be proud.

" - and it turns out that I'm a fucking bicycle and I know that's no excuse but I'm so fucking sorry," Eddie gasped for breath.

Chrissy stared at him, her mouth open as she blinked rapidly. Her hand was on her chest, looking at him like he had vomited all over her, which he practically did.

"I'm sorry, you're a bicycle?!" She asked.

"What? No? Where are you getting bicycle?" Eddie asked.

"You said that you're a fucking bicycle!" Chrissy exclaimed, trying not to laugh.

"No, I didn't!"

"You did!"

"Did not!"

"Eddie!"

"I'm a bisexual," he sighed. "That's what I meant."

"Okay, it all makes sense now," Chrissy said, laughing, and she cupped his face. "Thank you so much for telling me, Eddie."

"Thank you for listening," Eddie said.

"I totally forgive you," Chrissy said, smiling in sympathy. You must have been giving yourself a lot of hell."

"Just a little bit," Eddie said and flashed his dimples. "I feel pretty great about myself."

"Well, it always feels great when you finally accept all of you," Chrissy said. "Trust me, I know a thing or two about lying to myself."

"You do?" He asked.

"You said it yourself, Eddie," she replied. "I'm a freak. . .just like you."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," Chrissy beamed again, and once more, it was like his face was on fire. She was the goddamn sun.

Eddie moved closer to her, ready to kiss her this time. However, he was surprised when Chrissy jumped back.

"What?"

"Sorry! Nope!"

Eddie blinked rapidly and then he realized what she was doing.

"Cunningham!"

"Sorry," she laughed. "I couldn't resist."

"I deserved that," Eddie said.

Chrissy launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips against his. Eddie grinned as he kissed her back. Yeah, this felt right. Chrissy deepened the kiss, gripping the back of his neck. Suddenly, she was climbing him like he was a tree. She definitely wanted to kiss him for a while now. She wrapped her legs around him and then her arms. She was harsh but soft, and she tasted like strawberries. Eddie eagerly kissed her, more enthusiastic than any of the two girls he had kissed, but just as much as the one boy in his freshman year. Eddie gripped her thighs, holding onto her tightly as she held on just the same. They broke the kiss with a gasp, Chrissy leaning her forehead against his.

"That nightmare sounded awful," Chrissy muttered.

"It was," Eddie said, and his voice got choked up. "I never want to see that again - I'm just - I'm absolutely in love with you."

"I'm in love with you, too, Eddie," Chrissy replied.

"I'm sorry about all of it, I swear," he whispered.

"Oh, Eddie, you really couldn't help it, you were in the closet - hm, I'm sorry, it's just usually it's the other way around with that," Chrissy said and Eddie laughed.

"Well, I'm an odd - well, you know the word," Eddie said, blanching. "Okay, I'm officially your chariot. Where would you like to go, milady? Preferably somewhere within walking distant."

"Ooh, there's a nice little pond not too far from here," Chrissy said and jumped out of his arms. "Let me get a blanket!"

Chrissy scurried off back to the house. She came back just as quick with a blanket stuffed in her arms. She took Eddie's hand and led him towards the pond, crossing a line of trees to get there. It was almost magical this place that Chrissy had brought him to. Surrounded by trees, the pond was small but glittered from the light coming through the gap in the said trees. Eddie could almost imagine gems at the bottom of the pond. Chrissy, as usual, looked beautiful underneath the sunlight. God, it really was like she was the sun, and he was the moon. It shouldn't make sense that they were together. Yet, here they were. Chrissy Cunningham loved him, and now he could freely admit that he loved her, too. He was no longer lying to himself. Eddie happily helped her unravel the blanket, and he stretched out next to her.

"You know, now that I'm no longer lying to myself, now that I'm here with you, I feel like there's nothing that can bring me down. I have nothing to fear or feel anxious - " Eddie froze and looked Chrissy in horror. "Chrissy. . .what usually goes in ponds?"

"Well, I mean, there's - oh, Eddie! I'm sorry, I completely forgot. If we hurry, we can leave before they come back!" Chrissy exclaimed.

QUACK!

"It's too late," Eddie swallowed. "It's right behind me, isn't it?"

Chrissy nodded, and Eddie looked over his shoulder.

"It's a duck," Chrissy whispered.

"It's brought friends," he whimpered.

Well, okay, so he's got one thing he needs to work on. Chrissy grabbed his hand, squeezing it supportively.

"If you want to run, I'll run with you," Chrissy whispered.

Eddie pulled her up. Together, they ran, leaving the ducks and the blankets behind.

[lovahgal]

The King Who Vanished (Chapter 1)

A/N: I'm not used to tumblr fic format so I'm just wigging it. PLEASE CHECK WARNINGS ON EACH CHAPTER (warnings may vary).

Main pairing: Aegond, might add more, for sure add some that are already Canon

Warnings: targareyans and their "queer" customs (-Alicent)

___________________________________________________________

Aegon rubbed his head in frustration, listening to his small council bicker and argue on how to approach his usurpation,

“And how do we know for sure that we’ll have the support of every house? What if the traitors outweigh our supporters?” Lord Jasper Wylde asked hesitantly, afraid to anger the Kingsguard who loomed around and observed the conversation. This was the first real issue to be brought up and everyone wanted to see how Aegon would react. Aegon took a chug of his cup, tasting the wine and letting the alcohol run down his throat before setting it down. The room went froze, the whole room looking towards the king,

“It’s not about trusting our allies to stay loyal, no. Most houses bent the knee to Rhaenyra when she was named heir, traitors or not, we need to make them want to be on our side.” Aegon declared. The room was still deadly silent, hesitant to add on or to disagree.

“We can… send crows or…” Aegon tried adding on but the stares made him irritated and uncertain to continue. He looked to his right over to his mother, to see if she had anything in mind, but he was only met with her pitiful face that she always had. Sometimes Aegon wondered if that was a natural expression or if her life had soured enough to leave her in a state of constant disappointment and pity.

Aegon was ready to dismiss the council all together, feeling embarrassed,

“I think dragons would be faster, dear brother.” A voice behind him suddenly said. Aegon turned and looked over his shoulder, leaning slightly to look behind his tall chair. The window that faced the council was occupied by Aemond, who was looking onward towards the city. His arms behind his back, straight posture, and his long silver hair loose but neatly kept. The light of the sky gracing Aemond’s sculpted face as he looked towards Aegon,

“Ah yes! Dragons are much faster, that’s an idea I could stand by.” Grand Maester Orwyle added, praising Aemond as if the idea was originally his. Aegon clenched his fists under the table as he smiled,

“Then we should start as soon as possible, time is flying by.” Aegon said, the last phrase being a joke intended to no one but his own amusement.

As the meeting came to a close with a plan in effect everyone began escorting out, Aegon gathered himself as he stood up. He picked up the crystal ball and held it in his hands, his mind racing with many thoughts. He knew he had a reputation of not being the first choice for a king but he still wished for the minimal respect or acknowledgement for his decisions. His father had left him a big mold he felt he could never fill, a peaceful era that everyone wanted to maintain. However, conflict was upon them and he has never had the basic knowledge of war.

“Where should my grace wish me to start?” Aemond asked, his voice so close that it made Aegon flinch and nearly drop the ball,

“Gods! Don’t linger like that!” Aegon scolded his younger brother, who smiled innocently. Aegon fixed his posture as he turned to the table in front of him. He sighed as he looked down at the map, nearly untouched. His finger taped down onto the map,

“Uh, we’ll start South, then West, then North, but we won’t cover much today since the day is short.”

“We?” Aemond asked in disbelief, as if it was a joke, he was curious on his older brother’s phrasing,

“What? You thought you were gonna go alone? This is about showing them strength.” Aegon justified, finally finding purpose to do something,

“I think Vaghar is enough to show them.”

“Not just strength in power, they need to be reminded of the strength of our house.” Aegon explained, turning to Aegond,

“We’re also showing them where the loyalties of the strongest dragon rider are.” Aegon added with a smile, trying to be in his brother’s good mood. Something in Aemond changed, his right eye twitched as his smile dropped. He faced away from Aegon as he made his way towards the door

“Very well, we’ll go to Storm’s End today and make it back by nightfall.” Aemond announced before walking out of the council room. Now Aegon for sure was alone, he looked at his other hand, staring down at the crystal ball he had previously picked up.

__

In preparation for their trip, mother had insisted for Aegon to wear some armor for protection. After all, sending the king was dangerous but Aegon was insistent on tagging along. While Aegon expected to wear armor from a knight or the kingsguard, he did not expect to be presented by the dark set of armor his grandsire held out to him,

“It belonged to Aegon the conqueror when he ruled over the seven kingdoms.” Grandsire had explained. Aegon awkwardly smiled and before he could protest, he already had servants helping him fit into the heavy valyrian steel. 

When his fitting was done he took a moment to look at his reflection he could see that the armor was obviously too big for him, it was created and fitted for the dragonlord, Aegon the Conqueror. A different man than what Aegon was. He tugged at his sleeves, hoping to at least fix his own clothes to seem presentable to Lord Borros of House Baratheon. 

There was a knock on the door, Aegon turned around, suspecting the Aemond stopped by to tell him to hurry up,

“Come in.” He called out, ready to deal with the wall that was his brother. Instead of Aemond walking in, it was Haleana, who checked behind her to make sure she wasn’t being followed. Aegon’s eyes furrowed in confusion as she approached him quickly,

“Heleana-”

“The tree cradles a snake as it eats the dove” Heleana suddenly says, looking down as she’s a couple of feet away from Aegon. It was as if she just wanted her statement to be heard. He learned that his siter-wife had a habit of muttering weird riddles, sometimes they held a deep meaning other times, like now, held no significance to Aegon. He learned to just agree with her, mostly to get her to calm down and prevent her from persisting. They weren't close as children, and even grew farther apart once they were wed together,

“I… see Heleana, I’ll make sure to look out for that?” He said confused, not sure if he was saying the right thing. Ahead, Aegon caught a glimpse of his brother walking by, all ready to go. As he tried to move to exit, Heleana suddenly pulled his arm,

“What are you-”

“The dove falls from the tree, wings clipped and crippled for eternity. The skies out of reach, Aegon.” She tells him directly, looking at him. This was the first time she acknowledged him with her puzzles. Aegon chuckled nervously,

“Poor bird.” He noted, Heleana stared at him intently but her grip eventually loosened, allowing Aegon to slip out of her reach,

“I’ll be back soon Heleana.” He says, as he exits to head towards the Dragon Pit.

Heleana clutch the skirt of her dress as she watched her brother leave in a haste. She ran a hand over her lips, feeling like she should have spoken out more,

“The snake follows.” She mutters

[asilosmagdalena]

It's interesting how despite everyone immediately clocking Roman as the most queercoded sibling, narratively, Kendall's queerness is more often called into question. Despite him being the only one that tried to have a heterosexual marriage with kids.

The most shocking thing to me about Logan telling Roman: "I never figured you for a faggot," is that it's only coming up now. Roman, who constantly tells his dad he loves him (which was the faggotry Logan was talking about), his effiminacy, his struggles being intimate with women, that Roman getting jerked off by his trainer was a well known rumor... Logan had never considered this before.

But with Kendall, Logan bombards him with homophobia since episode one and has continued to do so consistently. "I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you," "Is that why you're paying a billion dollars for a gay little website?" "Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fuck him?"

I didn't know what to make of this, really, except that Logan doesn't really see Roman for who he is. He was completely oblivious to Roman's feelings for Gerri, even though everyone else could see it. Logan told Roman he wants him at ATN and that "Smart people know what they are," but if he knew Roman at all, he wouldn't say that in the first place.

And then when I was looking for a certain Stewy scene on YouTube, I rewatched the one where Logan disdainfully calls Stewy "My son's college drinking buddy." That quote on its own doesn't imply anything deeper with all the context added together...

I doubt Logan would be so pissed off at Kendall merely having a friend, (even though none of his other kids have friends and isolating them is a manipulation tactic) the vitriol sounds more like he resents Stewy for taking Kendall's gay virginity or something. And even moreso for staying in his life after Kendall's failed hetero marriage. The "college drinking buddy" comment both serves to undermine their decades long relationship and calls attention to them being in college... drinking... experimenting... who knows what else.

I don't necessarily believe Kendall and Stewy would have had a sexual relationship in the past, but there are too many scenes of them being coded as lovers for me to even cite right now. If Logan had assumed they had a sexual relationship, it would have been based upon the fact that their closeness went far beyond what is usually for straight guys.

So, if Logan failed to recognize Roman's queerness because Logan doesn't see Roman, maybe Logan used homophobia against Kendall because he knew him too well.