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ibijau · 3 years ago

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Writing prompt: A/B/O AU where, after a night of heated passion and romance, Nie Huaisang is expecting Lan Xichen's child. Nie Minjue, being the overprotective Alpha that he is, has vowed to (possibly literally) kill anyone who has touched his little brother, but due to Huaisang making Xichen promise not to claim the child as his own, no one comes forward, which only serves to make Minjue even more furious at such a dishonorable move.

Meng Yao (and let's make this before his true colors are revealed because why not) takes full advantage of this and is somehow able to convince Minjue to let him marry Huaisang.

I’m going for Untamed canon for this, just because it works better. This would be just after the gusu trio and lwj bring xue yang to the unclean realm, but before the Wen come around

“I’d rather not,” Nie Huaisang mumbled, twisting the hem of his sleeve in his hands.

His brother threw him a puzzled look. “Why not? You like Meng Yao. And unless the true father is going to show up…”

“He’s not,” Nie Huaisang said, pressing his hands to his barely showing stomach, still pulling and twisting the fabric of his sleeve nervously. I told him to keep our fling a secret, he thought, something he was starting to regret.

It was just that he hadn’t expected Nie Mingjue to react quite this way. After all, Nie Huaisang was hardly the only omega in the Unclean Realm, and he’d seen more than a few Nie disciples get pregnant and raise children all on their own. In fact, the Nie sect had a bit of a reputation in that regard, he’d learned while at Gusu, at which point it had occurred to him that they did frequently get new disciples who were omegas whose partner wouldn’t take responsibility for the child. And nobody said anything against that. The parent would get all the help they needed as well as support from people who’d gone through the same, the children were taught in the Nie manner…

So when Nie Huaisang announced that he was with child after returning from Gusu, he’d thought it would just be the same for him. He’d get a scolding for being careless (and for taking so long to come home, but it’d been fun to run around with friends. Well, mostly fun, except whenever they’d almost died, and for the mass murderer they’d had to bring to the Unclean Realm) and then his brother would move on to the next problem.

Instead, Nie Mingjue had interrogated him for hours and hours to try to get the name of the alpha who had, according to him, “deflowered” and “ruined” and “taken advantage” of his darling little brother, promising he’d force the person to marry Nie Huaisang, or to kill them if they refused… and that was only after Nie Huaisang swore that everything had been consensual, because before that Nie Mingjue just wanted to kill the person.

Nie Huaisang also had been forced to swear that it wasn’t any of the three friends who’d travelled with him who had done this to him. And then Nie Mingjue had interrogated them anyway, much to Nie Huaisang’s embarrassment.

And then…

“Is he already married?” Nie Mingjue asked. “Is that why he can’t marry you?”

Shaking his head, Nie Huaisang almost laughed. In fact, he was quite sure that given the chance, Lan Xichen would marry him, being an honourable man. And Nie Huaisang certainly liked him enough that such a marriage would please him immensely, except…

Except he wasn't stupid enough to think whatever had gone on between them was love. The first time they’d gotten together had certainly been an accident, due to Nie Huaisang not realising that his heat had started a day early, and Lan Xichen had been tutoring him, and one thing leading to another…

The first time would have been excusable. These things happened, and luckily Nie Huaisang hadn’t gotten pregnant that first time. But everything after that had been the result of a combination of boredom and opportunity and, at least in his case, maybe a tiny bit of emotion as well. If he hadn’t been a little in love, he wouldn’t have suggested they continued fooling around like that, nor so boldly offered for Lan Xichen to join him during the second heat he suffered while in Gusu.

It still surprised him that Lan Xichen had agreed to something so stupid. But then again, few alphas could have rejected such an offer, and in spite of his new responsibilities as a sect leader, Lan Xichen was a young alpha with all the needs and desires that came with it.

Lan Xichen who had looked so sad when Nie Huaisang had suddenly announced that their little affair had run its course, but… but it was for the best. Having realised he was with child, Nie Huaisang just had to put an end to this, before Lan Xichen got stupid and tried to marry him for honour. It would have ruined his reputation to become known as lustful when, as a young sect leader of a Great Sect, so many eyes were already on him in hope of seeing fail.

Maybe it would also have broken Nie Huaisang’s heart to be married only out of duty, but that was irrelevant.

“I don’t want to marry anyone,” Nie Huaisang announced, which was almost the truth anyway, so it wasn’t quite a lie. “And Meng Yao is… I like him a lot! But I don’t want to marry him. I don’t think he’d want to marry me either!”

“He offered himself, actually,” Nie Mingjue replied. “He said he would hate for your child to suffer the way he has and that if we cannot find someone better suited, he’d be happy to help. I think he might be a little soft on you.”

Had Meng Yao not been on the other side of the country when Nie Huaisang was getting himself knocked up, it was likely Nie Mingjue might have regarded his offer with a little less kindness. Or maybe he would have liked it better if he could have assumed that Meng Yao was the father, making it a good deal less likely that Meng Yao would ever leave them to try his chance in Lanling. Nie Mingjue was ever so fond of his deputy, seeing him almost as a brother, a better one perhaps than the real one.

Well, Nie Huaisang too saw Meng Yao as a brother, so the idea of marrying him made him wrinkle his nose in disgust.

“You are impossible,” Nie Mingjue huffed, sounding so upset that his brother felt a little guilty. “I’m just trying to look out for you, and so is Meng Yao.”

“Well, don’t. I’m fine. I’m gonna have my baby alone. Well, I’ll want a midwife, and a nurse, and cousins to help me with it, but other than that, I’m having it alone!”

“Okay, that’s it!” Nie Mingjue exploded. “I’m writing to Lan Xichen. Let’s see if he can knock some sense into you and…”

Nie Huaisang threw himself at his brother, as if merely speaking of his friend might have made him appear in the room, thus ruining all his efforts to keep his pregnancy secret.

“Don’t!” he cried out, tearful from fright. Seeing him so distraught made Nie Mingjue suspicious, so Nie Huaisang clung to him tightly and scrambled for an excuse. “Xichen-ge is already so busy! He’s got all his attention taken by that Yin Iron business, should we really bother him with my problems? And anyway… anyway it’s private, I don’t want others to know!”

“I half blame him for this,” Nie Mingjue retorted. “He’d promised me he’d keep an eye on you. And you always listen to him more than me, heavens know why.”

Mostly that was because Lan Xichen gave fun orders, such as ‘sit down while I do your homework’ or ‘open your mouth, I have a treat’ or even better ‘open your legs a little more, just like that, you’re such a good boy Huaisang’.

Not that Nie Mingjue needed to know that.

May he never, ever know that.

“Don’t bother Xichen-ge,” Nie Huaisang pleaded again. “I’ll… fine. I’ll marry Meng Yao.”

“You will?”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. He didn’t like the idea, but it was better than to risk dragging Lan Xichen into a bad marriage he’d grow to resent once the novelty of it wore off.

#xisang #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #nmj feels a bit ooc here buuuut well sometimes I gotta sacrifice someone's personality to the altar of plot #jau writes #mo dao zu shi #cql #mdzs

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birdship · 3 years ago

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(DISCO ELYSIUM SPOILERS)

Wrote this... thing? to sort of explore potentially writing an actual bit of fanfic for Disco Elysium. It's just a short scene set during the time Harry's drifting in and out of consciousness and Kim is taking care of him.

Anyway, here. Self-indulgent gay longing bullshit, but maybe someone else out there will enjoy it?

Very short teaser, since the whole thing is only like 1600 words:

PERCEPTION: The pressure intensifies slightly, and you recognize it is in the shape of a human hand. YOU: Her hand…? PERCEPTION: No. Not hers. VOLITION: Never hers. LOGIC: His, genius. ESPRIT DE CORPS: It’s Kim. Of course it is. You knew it from the moment you saw him, somehow, that this man would take a bullet for you. He almost did. But right now, he’s kneeling beside you, tending to your wound. Gently, so gently reaching into the war zone of your body to peel back the old bandages, soaked in blood and pus, and press clean ones down in their place.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN: Well, well! Look what the cat dragged in. You keep slipping away, Harry-boy. Back into that beautiful, dark sea. Where you came from. Where you belong. Even now it presses around you, pale and cold. You’re struggling so hard to keep your head above the water for these precious few seconds of aching consciousness. It would be easier to just… relax.

YOU: Hold on, what was that about a cat?

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN: There is no cat, you stupid fuck. Pay attention when I’m waxing poetic about the sweet embrace of death.

It’s hard to pay attention. Then again, it’s hard to do anything. Your breathing is shallow and ragged and you’re so, so tired. God are you tired.

PERCEPTION: You become gradually aware that there is a light pressure on your hip. PAIN THRESHOLD: The first small jolt of pain ripples through you, branching like lightning. PERCEPTION: The pressure intensifies slightly, and you recognize it is in the shape of a human hand.

YOU: Her hand…?

PERCEPTION: No. Not hers. VOLITION: Never hers. LOGIC: His, genius. ESPRIT DE CORPS: It’s Kim. Of course it is. You knew it from the moment you saw him, somehow, that this man would take a bullet for you. He almost did. But right now, he’s kneeling beside you, tending to your wound. Gently, so gently reaching into the war zone of your body to peel back the old bandages, soaked in blood and pus, and press clean ones down in their place.

YOU: His hand…

ELECTROCHEMISTRY: It’s warm, electric, somehow both familiar and new all at once. You ache to lean into it and ask for more, more. How long has it been since anyone touched you like this? INLAND EMPIRE: Has anyone ever touched you like this, really? Right down to the core of you? Feeling the wreckage of you, the sharp edges of your heart? Running their fingers so lightly along the cracks of your horrible little brain? ELECTROCHEMISTRY: I meant literally. His hand is on your thigh. PAIN THRESHOLD: Because there’s a fucking gunshot wound there. LOGIC: Come on, don’t make it weird. ELECTROCHEMISTRY: I’m not making it weird. VOLITION: You’re definitely making it weird. ELECTROCHEMISTRY: Look, all I’m saying is it feels pretty nice, doesn’t it? Being close to him like this. His hands on your body.

YOU: Yeah. It does.

CONCEPTUALIZATION: In the haze of painkillers and recent trauma, your sight becomes clear. Ironic. You’re finally allowing yourself to see something that’s been quietly blossoming inside you over the years. It’s been so hard to ignore, but the alternative is so much worse. You couldn’t look right at it. Didn’t want to. Didn’t think you deserved to. But now, in this moment, lying on a lumpy mattress in the dark, trying not to lose consciousness yet again, with him pressing his hands to your rotting body, desperately staunching the bleeding that never seems to completely stop… Now the world has finally wrung everything out of you. Whatever it was that you had left. And you can do nothing but take the path of least resistance. HALF-LIGHT: You’re keenly aware that you will soon make an absolute goddamn fool of yourself, but are powerless to stop it. The forces are already in motion. PAIN THRESHOLD: Another lightning bolt of pain, worse this time. Agony. You cannot help but gurgle a quiet “fuck.”

The lieutenant glances up at your face with calm concern, thoroughly unsurprised by your outburst. “I know it hurts,” he breathes. “You’ll get through it.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, only half-processing his words.

PERCEPTION: His hand lingers ever so slightly, then suddenly it’s gone. The warm, comforting pressure of his company, gone. SUGGESTION: No! You’re going to be alone again! He needs to stay. You need him to be here. Next to you. For as long as possible.

You concentrate every ounce of willpower you have left on sending your right hand out to fish desperately for his before it’s gone.

HAND/EYE COORDINATION: Your hand slaps awkwardly against the sleeve of his jacket. You can’t quite get a grip on it, but your pathetic flailing is hard to ignore, and he stops to give you a quizzical look. VISUAL CALCULUS: That’s the best we could do. I don’t know what you expected from us. Your eyes are still closed.

“Detective?” he says to you. “Just relax. You’re going to be fine, but you need to get some rest.”

“Wait,” you mumble, “please stay.”

DRAMA: This is quite the sad display you’re putting on here, sire. It’s a crowded field, but this new late entry is a strong contender for the gold in the hotly contested “most uncomfortable moment” event at the Sad Old Sack of Shit Olympics.

VOLITION: Come on, you’re stronger than this. HALF-LIGHT: Don’t drag him down with you, you irrepressible fuck-up. What are you even trying to do? INLAND EMPIRE: He’s drowning. Desperate. Reaching for something, anything, to stay afloat. COMPOSURE: It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. Not anymore. There’s nothing to hold onto. SUGGESTION: Wrong. You have exactly one thing to hold onto right now, and that thing is Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi’s fucking hand.

Kim looks at you with a sort of detached concern for a moment, then gives you a small smile and sits back down next to you without another word. There’s nothing to say, and that’s fine.

EMPATHY: He looks exhausted. His eyes are ringed by dark circles and his shoulders have begun to sag with the weight of the case. The weight of death. The weight of you. He’s carrying so much. ESPRIT DE CORPS: He doesn’t want recognition or pity for it. He knows you’re bearing the same load. Don’t you dare apologize for any of it - this weight is shared. You’re in it together. SUGGESTION: Then why do you feel so guilty, watching him stare silently out the window into the impenetrable night, looking at nothing? You have to say something. Acknowledge his efforts to keep your sorry flesh sack shambling forward another day. VOLITION: No, stop. This is a bad idea. You don’t have to be the sorry cop anymore. In fact, please actively try to stop being that.

“Kim,” you say weakly.

“Yes?” he says, his gaze snapping back to you immediately.

“Thanks.”

“No need for that,” he says quickly.

VOLITION: Grateful cop, huh. Well, I guess that’s a step up. Very slightly less pitiful.

“Yeah,” you mumble, “alright. Sorry.”

VOLITION: Goddammit.

Kim doesn’t say anything. Just watches you with tired, searching eyes.

PERCEPTION: He’s sitting on the very edge of the bed, far away from you, his limbs tucked close to his body except for one hand, which rests lightly on the blanket. VISUAL CALCULUS: It’s still close enough that you could reach out and touch it without too much effort. ELECTROCHEMISTRY: Get that sweet dopamine hit, baby! Human contact, the most dangerous drug!

Your fingers brush his hand. He jerks it away immediately, but it seems like an unconscious, automatic reaction.

“Ah,” he says, scooting over a bit. “I’ll give you some space.”

VOLITION: If your goal was to feel like a complete idiot in front of the one person in this shithole that you respect, well, pat yourself on the back. DRAMA: Congratulations, sire, you’ve done it! And what hill might thou plan to die on next? VOLITION: A much steeper one, hopefully. SUGGESTION: Ignore them, try again! PERCEPTION: Finally, your fingers manage to close around his wrist. You can’t see his reaction. Your eyes are closed. You can’t stand to look at the situation you’ve created. VOLITION: Coward. PERCEPTION: His hand is moving, changing position, but not withdrawing. It simply contorts in such a way that your grip relaxes and now it’s his hand that’s resting on top of yours. He is silent, but he’s there. Not moving away. You smell stale cigarette smoke and dry blood lingering in the space between his body and yours. ELECTROCHEMISTRY: It’s too much. This hit, it’s stronger than you expected. It’s fucking devastating, a cold knife twisting its way through your broken body. It hurts. Why does it hurt? EMPATHY: Your eyes are still closed, but you sense that he too is looking elsewhere, similarly unable to look directly at the source of the overwhelming awkward - and quite frankly rather homo-sexual - energy you have brought down upon the room. CONCEPTUALIZATION: Every other human interaction happening inside the Whirling-in-Rags must be going very smoothly right now, because you’ve created a fucking singularity of awkwardness. There’s no more awkwardness left within a 2km radius, you’ve gathered it all right here.

Then, as quickly as the moment began, it’s over. He moves his hand and clears his throat. Probably cleans his glasses. It’s a nervous habit of his that you’ve noticed this past week.

A few minutes pass in silence. Then: “Harry?” he whispers quietly.

You don’t answer. You have nothing to say.

CONCEPTUALIZATION: Maybe you were wrong. Maybe this is the harder option. Maybe you’re not ready to look at it. Maybe you’re not ready to look at anything.

“Get some rest,” he says softly. “I need to get back to work.”

EMPATHY: He’s not going to mention this incident. Not now. Not later. Not ever. Not just out of concern for you, but himself. He has no idea how to begin to process it, so he won’t. He’ll tell himself it doesn’t matter, you were just lost in a cloud of drouamine and pain and grief. That you were so out of it that you thought you were reaching for someone else. That vulnerable moment of tenderness could not have been meant for him. But you know the truth. And maybe he does too, somewhere deep down. LOGIC: You are okay with this. You have to be. And so does he. CONCEPTUALIZATION: You’ve glimpsed it now, that radiant thing within you. That bright, unbearable light. It’s so beautiful, so heart-breaking that you can hardly stand it. Maybe a glimpse is enough.

#disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #fan fic #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #this scene brought to you by gay longing and touch starvation

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weelittleweasley · 4 years ago

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Amnesia (p2) | Draco x Reader

If you have not read part one, you can find it here!!

Prompt: After proper diagnosis and treatment, your Healer informs you that your amnesia has effected your most recent memories. These memories include your life as a upperclassman at Hogwarts, your knowledge and skills, and arguable the most important thing to you: your relationship with Draco. When Draco hears of your condition, he is overwhelmed and scared to say the least. You two are now strangers. What happens in Part Two of this multipart series?

Warnings: memory loss, nightmares, PTSD, anxiety, mentions of death

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: This part is a slow burn, but just trust me. Shit will hit the fan soon.

This story is not about romanticizing mental health issues. These are serious conditions and this story is not meant to romanticize or fantasize these topics. It’s used as a vessel to convey a different story. That being said, please take care of yourself and sending everyone lots of love. Thank you for coming back for part two :)

Flashbacks told in italics!

Draco watched you from the window that saw into your hospital room, his nerves and terror eating away inside of him. How was he supposed to keep calm when the love of his life almost died days ago and now does not remember a single detail of their relationship? He ran his hands through his matted platinum blonde hair before covering his face and letting out a sigh that was full of mixed emotions. He was going to fall apart in seconds if it were for your Healer passing by, so he could ask him questions about your recovery.

“So her memory is gone?” he frantically asks, pleading that the answer is no. That would just mean so much time and love and energy that you both had put into this relationship was being washed down the drain.

The Healer places a firm, yet reassuring hand on Draco’s shoulder. “Not gone,” he speaks as Draco lets out a breath he was holding. “Temporarily lost you can say. Her memories can come back to her in random spurts or all at once. The brain is very complicated and everyone reacts differently. It could take anywhere from two days to two weeks for her to remember. There are rare cases, but it is possible, that it could be a few months for her to recover,” the Healer tells Draco as Draco swallows hard.

If it was going to take you months to remember your relationship with Draco, the boy would go mad. He needed you to remember who he was and what your relationship was like so you could both move on and live the life you had planned when you were students at Hogwarts weeks before. Draco dreamt of what it would be like when you two finally got away from the chaos. He pictured you two settling down somewhere remote, in a cottage somewhere in the countryside, maybe out of England. He pictured you having a lot of land, somewhere you could both enjoy nature and its scenic views. He imagined you with your beaming smile in one of your favorite sundresses, laying in the grass, reading a book whilst you laid your head in his lap. He would stroke your hair and watching you crinkle your nose as you laughed at something he said, him relishing in the regality of your beauty. He felt unworthy to look at something so rare and so beautifully genuine.

Draco snaps back into reality from his daydream and speaks, “Are you sure there isn’t a charm or spell of some sort that you could use to jog her memory? Do muggles have something that you could possibly use?” Draco was desperate for an answer, a sign, a solution, something.

The Healer just smiles lightly and shakes his head. “If there was, my boy, we would have used it,” he tells him. “I’m sorry you two are going through this. I can imagine it is hard for you, but just imagine how difficult it is for her. The best thing you can do for her right now is be there for her. When she remembers, I have no doubt that your relationship will be stronger than ever.”

-------

And so Draco was there for you. Even though visitor’s hours were over, Draco stayed in the waiting room in case anything happened. Not even your parents did this. Your parents went home and told you they would be back in the morning, confident that you were in good hands with the Healers. Draco could never be too sure. You could remember him overnight and desperately need him. You could remember something about Hogwarts and need answers, to which he would be right at your side. So in the waiting room he stayed, waiting in case you needed anything.

The ex-Slytherin prince was exhausted to say the least. He hadn’t slept since the battle, too afraid to close his eyes and see what his mind conjured. He feared he would see the eyes of his father, burning into him full of anger and disgust; his only child, his only son, betraying the family to run off with some girl. Draco feared he would see the eyes of the Dark Lord although he was dead, he feared he would find his way into Draco’s mind and into his dreams. Draco didn’t even want to think about if he saw his mother in his dreams. How he abandoned her, leaving her alone to her own devices. Worst of all, Draco knew that in his nightmares he would see you, getting hurt, pulled away from him as he clawed at his father to let him go. Draco knew he would see your limp body, bloody and frail as they carried you away to a medic. He couldn’t face his dreams; they were far too scarier than his reality.

Exhaustion pulsated throughout your body before your heavy eyelids fell, you immediately falling asleep with the help of the pain potion given to you. Today was overwhelming for you; too much has happened for your brain to process adequately. You were relieved to see your parents and Ron and Hermione, but now your diagnosis and this whole Draco situation just made things worse than you had expected. How could you just forget a whole relationship with someone that had lasted almost two years? It just didn’t seem or feel real.

You were peacefully asleep, but that’s when your dreams started for the night. Although your body was at peace, your mind raced. In your dreams, you saw flashes of fire, the screams of people echoing in the halls. Stones and rubble were all around you, bodies, dead and alive, all around. Panic entered your veins as you felt your heart sink. You’re running as fast as your legs can allow you. The taste of iron is in your mouth as you scream, your lungs burning and hot tears running down your face. You’re screaming for someone, but the words don’t come out. It’s just a scream. Chaos is growing around you as see people who you once knew die before you in the matter of seconds. Somehow you cannot control yourself in your dream as you try to run over to your friends in need, but your legs are planted. You have become stone. You see Ron from across the hall and you want to run to him, knowing that he’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from whatever was happening.

But before you can run to Ron, your body pulls you in the opposite direction. You want to call out for Ron, but his name doesn’t come out. Instead, your screaming something else, but you can’t make out what. Before you can even register where you are going, you look above you and see a large boulder, making its way down to crash down on you.

And that’s when you scream. The sound is rippling through your body as you sit up straight in your bed, eyes darting open. You stop screaming when you realize it was all a dream, a nightmare rather. Why did it all feel real? The pain in your head is creeping back up as your brain throbs as you catch your breath. Your heart is beating through your chest as sweat slowly drips down your temples. Hot and cold flashes ripple through your body as you clinch onto the white hospital sheets for dear life. Frantically, you look around the room to see if anyone was around you to come to your rescue. Were your parents still here? Ron? Anyone?

In that instant, the door flings open and there was the boy you were supposed to be in love with, his blonde hair pushed in front of his face, a panicked look in his eyes.

When Draco heard the scream, he knew it was you in an instant. He could recognize your voice easily, whether it was in joy or in pain. Draco knew you better than he knew himself. His heart sunk to his stomach at your cry and he leaped to his feet. The worst thoughts came to his mind, thinking that something awful had happened to you. Did someone come into your room and try to attack you? Was he not dead? Was it his father?

Before he could answer any of these questions, he had practically knocked the door down just to see you sitting up straight in bed, your face covered in panic, horror, and sadness. The sight was gut wrenching. Draco wanted to run to your side, pepper your face in kisses, stroke your hair with his fingers, and tell you that he was right beside you and going nowhere; he would be there to protect you. But instead of doing so, in fear of frightening you more in your vulnerable moment, he just makes his presence known.

“Are you alright?” he asks, gently and slowly, still half standing in the doorway, half in the room in case you asked him to leave.

You take a look at the boy in front of you and wondered why he was still here in the first place. It was the middle of the night; not even your parents were here. Why did a boy you barely knew decide to stay here overnight? You don’t entertain the thought any further. “Bad dream,” you simply tell him, rubbing your eyes.

Draco understood, there was no need to ask you any further questions. He knew that you needed time and space. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm you further.

Out of curiosity, you ask him, “What are you still doing here? It’s late.”

Draco sighs, “Uh, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright. That if you needed anything someone would be here for you. Besides, I don’t have anywhere to go...” he trails off the last sentence sadly. He ran away from his mother, there was no home for Draco right now. He was alone. And without you? He was more alone than ever before.

You both look at each other for a few moments, breathing the moment in through your nose and out of your mouths. You took the time to really take a good look at Draco. He looked exhausted; heavy bags under his eyes that pulled all the way down to the tops of his cheekbones. His hair flopped lazily in front of his face. As sad as he looked, there was something almost angelic about him in this moment. The medic lights that flickered over his head dully almost made a halo above his head as he stared upon you with the most loving, sad expression you have ever seen. You could see how a previous version of yourself fell in love. He was undeniably handsome and there was something that was absolutely magnetic about him. You wanted to be around him for some reason.

Draco interrupts your thoughts, “I’ll be just outside if you need me.”

He tries to slither out of the door before you stop him, not even register what you are saying until the words fall out of your mouth.

“Stay with me,” you call to him, rather than asking him like you would have preferred.

He stops dead in his tracks and turns to you, a confused expression on his face. Did you remember him? Was this your way of telling him?

You inhale, “I just don’t want to be alone.” It was true, you didn’t want to be alone again with you and your nightmares in fear it would attack again when you closed your eyes. “My dreams are scary,” you confess. “They seem real.”

In that moment Draco knew that the dreams you were having weren’t really dreams; they were flashbacks. He had them too when he closed his eyes. Draco knew exactly what you saw and there was no need to explain. He was just happy that you asked him to stay with you. “Of course,” he gives you a small smile, preventing a larger one from appearing on his tired face.

Draco slowly closes the door behind him before making his way to the chair near your bedside. He sits in the chair slowly and offers you a small smile. You return one to him with a small sigh. You wanted to go to sleep, but also were afraid of what you would see again. Would you dream of the same thing again? Or something worse? Would this happen all the time?

You watch the ceiling for a few moments before speaking to Draco, “I’m afraid of closing my eyes.” You turn to him to watch his reaction and he gives you a sympathetic look.

“I am, too,” he confesses. “I see old memories that replay in my head. Horrible things. Things I did, things I bore witness to, things I tried to stop...” he looks at you sadly. It was like you both understood where the other came from. There was an unspeakable understanding that just reassured the other that they were not alone. Although you don’t remember much of Malfoy besides the limited encounters with him, you can’t help but feel bad for him. He had obviously been fighting something and you wished that it would leave him alone. “Did you want to talk about what you saw?” he asked you. You shook your head and he gave you a smile. “That’s alright. You should try and fall asleep at least. You are in recovery from a nasty injury, let’s not forget that,” he teases as you smile. He loved your smile.

You lay back a little further in your bed relaxing. “Malfoy?” you ask as Draco’s ears perk up to his name being dropped from your lips. “Were we in love?” you ask, surprising him and yourself. But if you were going to remember the boy, you had to know if you loved him.

Draco thought to himself, Were we in love? As much as I breathe. But he doesn’t say that. “We were,” he smiles lightly at the memory when you would look at him with love glistening in your eyes, brushing his hair with your fingers as he would pull you in close by your hips, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. The boy loved you with every fiber in his being. “Madly,” he adds with a laugh.

As he says that, your curiosity peaks. You two must have had a beautiful relationship if he claimed you were madly in love. That was not a light statement. Without further consideration, you ask him, “Can you tell me the story? Of how we fell in love?” Draco’s eyes widen when he looks at you. “It’ll help jog my memory...I also just want to know,” you tease, making him laugh. His laugh made goosebumps appear on your forearms.

Where to start, Draco thinks. He could tell you about the story of the moment he knew that he wanted to make you his, your first date, when he asked you to be his girlfriend, the moment he told you that he loved you for the first time. There were so many good memories that he had of the two of you, it was hard to choose just one. “How about this,” he proposes, “I’ll start wherever you don’t remember. With each day, I’ll tell you a new story.”

His proposition made you smile. It seemed promising. “How do I know I’ll see you every day for a new story?” you ask, raising your brows.

Your expression made Draco smile. That teasing little smile that played on your lips was one he was so fond of. “I’ll make sure of it. That’s a promise,” he tells you. “Pinky promise.” He sticks out his left pinky finger as you loop yours with his, squeezing it. Instinctively, you kiss your thumb and Draco does the same. Your eyes widen, shocked that he did the same thing as you. You would kiss your thumb after a pinky promise ever since you were a child with your mum. As if he read your thoughts, Draco said, “I remember a lot of things, (Y/N). We also used to do that a lot.”

His words bring a smile to your face as you let go and giggle at the boy in the chair. “Alright, let me think,” you state. You scan your memory for what you remember of Draco. You remember meeting him that first night you arrived to Hogwarts when he made fun of you of being friends with Ron, you remember him teasing you in your charms class because you came to class with bedhead, running late, you remember sitting next to him at the Triwizard Tournament and stomping on his foot when he said he wished the dragon got Harry, you remember when Umbridge busted you and your friends for learning defensive magic and Draco being the first person you saw when you exited the room of requirement. “The last thing I remember was when Umbridge busted Harry and all of us for learning defensive magic behind her back. You were there and you made a comment at me. I remember being mad about it and you stood a smirked at me,” you push his arm.

Draco laughs, “Sounds about right.” You roll your eyes, turning your body gently to face Draco before he began the story. Draco had to stop himself from getting distracted at the way you looked at him, excitement in your eyes as he started his story. Your wispy pieces of hair floated over your head like a fuzzy halo, his heart fluttered at the sight. Merlin, I love you, he thought to himself. “Alright, let’s see,” he starts.

After being busted by Umbridge, you were under high surveillance. Not much to do for fun around Hogwarts anymore. No more gatherings after a certain time, no common room study sessions, the library closed after a particular hour, and not to mention boys and girls had to be separated by 8 feet. How was anyone supposed to have fun outside of academia anymore? Even Hermione belly ached about how bored she was.

You should have expected your secret meetings to have been busted. When you heard that Umbridge had rodeoed a select few students to be on a watch patrol, you knew that their leader, Draco Malfoy, would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant busting Harry Potter. You wondered if the boy really found joy in being a dickhead to people. Although the conversations you had with Draco were limited, you could tell that some of it was a show that he put on for his other Slytherin friends. It’s like they expected him to be an arse before they even met him. Regardless, the point was that Draco was always blunt and rude around you and his company was not your preferred company.

In the library, there you were, sat at a small table during your off period, scribbling some answers down to some last minute Potions homework that you knew if you didn’t get done, Snape would have your head on a silver plate. As you scribble down your answers in a frantic fury, you don’t even notice Malfoy enter the library, his sightline going straight to you. He smiled when he saw you sitting at the table, immersed in your work, hands pulling at your own hair gently. You were a sight for sore eyes. Draco always took notice of you at Hogwarts, he just never made a move because you never left the damned Gryffindor common room.

You didn’t even notice Draco in front of you until he hovered above you, startling you. “Merlin, Malfoy,” you jump. “What do you want? And stay eight feet away, you git. I don’t need to get into more trouble with Umbridge. You have already done enough damage,” you sneer at him.

Draco thought it was adorable when you were cross. “I came to ask you out,” he simply states. He doesn’t explain himself further. He just sits beside you at the table in the library, a smug grin on his face like you said yes to his proposition.

“What makes you think that I would want to go out with someone like you,” venom drips from your cherry flavored lips as Draco smirks. Your words did nothing to him. Oh, how that would change very quickly. “You’ve been nothing but cruel to me and my friends and now, all of a sudden you want to ask me on a date? You’re out of your bloody mind.” You continue to finish your Potions homework before Draco plucks the textbook from underneath you.

Before you can protest to his actions, he speaks, “Someone like me? And what would that be? Handsome, charming, intelligent, and funny? Sounds like a real bore,” he jokes. Merlin, he had a big head. “Not to mention, this hasn’t come all of a sudden. I’ve had my eyes on you for a while, (Y/L/N). I just haven’t mustered up the courage to ask you out properly. So here I am,” he leans on his elbow on the table, a shit eating grin on his face that you would love to smack off. “I need an answer, darling. Or else Professor Snape’s homework will just have to wait...”

You roll your eyes, “The answer you’re looking for is not the one you desire. Besides, even if I said yes, what would we even do? It’s not like we have any freedom here. We’re under constant watch.”

Draco laughs at your naiveté. “I thought you were brighter than this, (Y/L/N). I have my tricks. You can get away with a lot when you’re a Malfoy,” he pushes a strand of hair out of your face as he said this, you slapping it away as he does so. “Play nice,” he teases. “Your homework is on the line.”

Anger bubbled in your stomach, but for some reason his argument seemed to be compelling. What did he have planned? “What exactly are you thinking of doing, Malfoy?” you lean in, teasing him further as he smiles, thinking he’s won. Instead, you just pluck your textbook back from his hands, smiling as you do so. You beat him at his own game. This just made the boy more enthralled with you.

“Ah, that’s for me to know and you to find out, darling,” he speaks. “So, I take it you’re interested?” he asks, wiggling his brows.

You really hated to admit that you were interested in his offer, curiosity getting the best of you, as it usually did. You huff, brush your hair to one side. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t,” you admit, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth. This was so unlike you.

Draco let a chuckle escape from his lips. “Brilliant. 7pm. Stay in the Gryffindor common room. I’ll come to you. I’ll see you then, kitten,” he purrs, leaving just as quickly as he came.

As Draco wraps up the story, you stare in disbelief. “There was no way I fell for that line,” you tell him, sitting up from your position in your hospital bed. “I really said yes to that cheese ball line?”

“How could you not?” he retorts. “I’m suave,” he jokes, making you laugh as you threw your head back. The sight of you laughing was enough to melt every single one of Draco’s fears. The way your nose crinkled as you laugh, your eyes squeezed shut, melodious laughter falling from your parted lips. “You’re beautiful when you laugh,” he tells you, unable to hold back his thoughts. That was Draco’s weakness. He could never lie to you. He always told you what he was thinking. It was his best quality and yet his downfall.

His compliment makes you blush and look away from him. You weren’t uncomfortable from the comment, but you were just taken aback. Draco was someone who you barely remembered, yet you had such visceral reactions when you were with him. He brought you confusion and comfort that was oddly satisfying. You decide to change the subject. “So tell me about our first date. What did you end up doing that was so spectacular that make me stay?” you ask through a large yawn.

Draco smiles as you cover your mouth, you were obviously exhausted. “I said one story a day, you sneak,” he smiles at you. “Besides, I don’t think you would be awake for the most of it. You look exhausted. I think you should get some rest,” he rises from the chair. He was right. You were even more exhausted than you were before. You pull the covers back over your body, cuddling into the thin sheets. Draco watches as you get settled in your bed, gently smiling at how you pulled the sheet all the way up to your chin like you always did before bed. He remembers how you would always sneak into his bed at Hogwarts; you always preferred his silk sheets to your cotton ones. “Sweet dreams, (Y/N).”

The platinum blonde boy walks to the door before a thought intrudes your mind. What was the harm in speaking it? “Draco?” you call his name cautiously. He turns around to face you, eyebrows raised. You slowly pull the sheets open. “Do you wanna sleep next to me?” you ask slowly, treading lightly. You gave him the offer mostly because you felt bad about him having to sleep in a hospital waiting room until morning. Those chairs were wildly uncomfortable and no one should be forced to sleep there by themselves. But there was part of you that wanted Draco with you. There was an aura about him that reminded you of home. The way he could make you smile with just a dumb sentence was comforting. He felt familiar; like you could remember some pieces of him. Maybe if he stayed with you tonight, all the memories would come back. Maybe his touch would awaken something in you.

At the offer, Draco wanted to scream yes and climb into bed with you, snuggled next to your side, breathing in your all too familiar scent. But he didn’t want to overwhelm you. He had to tread lightly, make sure that you were comfortable. “Are you sure?” he asks, genuinely wanting to know if that was alright. “I can just stay in the waiting room, it really is no problem.”

You shake your head. “I’m positive...I want you to stay with me,” you tell him. “I could be rushing it or I could be crazy, but I think that maybe you staying with me might be helpful...for my memory.”

How could Draco argue with that logic? He smiled and closed the door, trying to hide his excitement. He took off his patent leather shoes and peeling off his blazer, getting himself comfortable before climbing next to you in bed. The hospital bed was arguable just as uncomfortable as the waiting room chairs in Draco’s opinion, but you in bed with him made it all better. Draco slid one arm carefully around your shoulder as to not disturb any painful areas. Although the gesture should have been romantic or comforting, it just felt awkward.

You both just laid there for a moment, awkwardly laying before you give in to his touch, resting your head on his chest. Within an instant, the two of you let out a breath that you were holding in, melting into each other’s touch. This position of you resting on his chest, hearing his heartbeat made something inside you click. It did feel familiar. Something about it was familiar.

The two of you don’t speak any words to each other. You both lay there, waiting for the other to say something. But no one says anything. What is there to be said? You allow yourself to slowly fall asleep to the slow drum of Draco’s heartbeat in your ear through his chest as Draco follows only after you are sound asleep. He knew that he could sleep once you were.

-----

As you drift back off into sleep, another dream kicks back in. This one not nearly as horrifying as the last. In fact, it was quite endearing. You aren’t at Hogwarts. You’re somewhere else. Someone’s home. It’s not yours, that’s for sure. The house was smaller, but had a large winding staircase. It isn’t until you hear multiple voices in your head that you instantly recognize where you are. It was undeniably the Burrow. Weasley’s. A smile forms on your face when you recognize your surroundings.

In this dream of a memory, it’s Christmas time. Molly Weasley in the kitchen, cooking, something delicious smelling of sage and rosemary. Fred and George are in the backyard, building what looks like a fort of some kind, their efforts failing miserably when Ginny runs into the fort, causing it to fall down. A giggle escapes your lips.

You walk further around the house and recognize it more and more with every step. The Weasley home felt like a second home to you. So much so that Molly knew how to cook your eggs and knew the difference between yours and Ginny’s uniforms and Arthur had put a coat hanger in the side hall for you when you were over. You were here almost as often as your own childhood home. Your parents travelled a lot for work and you spent Christmas at Burrow maybe two or three times. This year was undeniably when you were in year four with Ron. You know it to be so because of Ron’s horrid haircut that you teased him about that whole year.

As if one cue, Ron appears and pulls you to the other room and suddenly you are on the couch, a mug of hot chocolate in your hands. Ron is telling you about a prank that George had planted in Percy’s room for when he came home. You have the feeling of undeniable joy in your chest and your cheeks hurt from smiling. Have you ever had this feeling before? The two of you were laughing at the other and expressing your joy and excitement for the holiday, focusing on the company of the other. You loved spending Christmas with the Weasleys because you knew that you would have more time to bond with Ron. Ron was your first friend at Hogwarts and he was the one who introduced you to Hermione and Harry. Ron was the one to push you to go after what you wanted. Ron was your best friend and other half. Undeniably.

In this dream, Ron looks at you in your eyes with a cheeky grin on his face and says, “I am so glad you’re here for Christmas. It makes things so much better.” He pulls you into a tight hug and kisses your forehead. “I love you.”

Before you can process the words, you speak out, “I love you more, Weasley.”

Your eyes shoot open and you slowly sit up. You were all kinds of confused. Ron Weasley? He was your best friend, sure, but the feeling you got during the dream was not one that a best friend should have. Your face was flushed, cheeks a bright shade of red. Were you blushing? Your heart beat was racing and your mouth was dry. The image of Ron smiling at you, his arm around your shoulder sticks out in your mind. Him saying I love you plays on repeat like a broken record. What was happening? This went against everything you knew and what people told you you were supposed to feel? Ron wasn’t your boyfriend; Draco was.

Draco.

You look next to you to see Draco still peacefully asleep, lips parting that allowed light snores to escape. His arm was still draped around your figure which you once found comforting, but now you found alarming. Careful not to wake him up, you peel his arm from around you and onto his lap. His touch now was now foreign. How did this all take a 360 within a few hours?

Casting the thoughts out of your brain, you turn over to the other side of the small bed, back to Draco, trying to fall back asleep, hoping that Draco didn’t notice the change of position. You let your heavy eyelids bring you to sleep, but unbeknownst to you, Draco does notice that you are no longer peacefully asleep on his chest. But he doesn’t say anything. Disappointed, he just takes note of it and closes his eyes, but he can’t fall asleep.

-------

The morning light streams in just as quickly as it left and gently wakes you up. The light hurts your head and makes you wince in pain, softly clutching your head. You sit up slowly and rub your eyes with the heel of your free hand, trying to rid the sleep from your eyes. As you let your eyes focus again, you see Draco is sitting in the chair beside your bed like he was like night, trying his shoes. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he smiles at you. You let out a groggy morning. “The Healer left you another pain potion for this morning. He said to take it as soon as you wake up and then you are good to be discharged and go home,” Draco reports.

The thought of going home made you excited, but nervous. Home was always nice and being your parents at a time like this was definitely something you needed. However, your childhood home didn’t feel like much of a home after your time at Hogwarts, especially since your parents were always traveling and were rarely home even on holidays. If anything, home meant going back to Hogwarts or alternatively going back to the Burrow with the Weasleys...

Shaking your head, you return yourself to the current conversation. “Sounds great,” you smile and take the pain potion from off the nightstand, drinking from the small vile, contorting your face in disgust after, the fowl taste lingering on your tongue. Draco laughs as you do so. “I hate the taste,” you blush, wiping your mouth. “Are my parents here to pick me up?” you ask Draco.

“I’m not sure,” he says. “I can check with the Healer and see if your parents called or not. If not, I can always take you home. I have no problem seeing that you get back safely,” he offers with a gentle smile as you nod. “Great,” he breathes out. “Let me check for you.”

Draco moves to the door and opens it up only to reveal Ron Weasley standing there, fresh eyed and with a small smile on his face that fades when his eyes land on Draco’s. “Weasley,” Draco greets. “I was just going to grab the Healer. (Y/N)’s been discharged.”

Ron shakes his head, “I know. I’m here to pick her up.” Ron glances to you and smiles before sending you a wink. Your heart stops in your chest and your eyes widen. Something that was a friendly gesture between you and Ron now has new meaning after last night’s dream/memory. What was going on?

Interrupting your thoughts, Draco looks to Ron and says, “You’re picking up, (Y/N)? Where are her parents?”

“Is there a problem with me picking (Y/N) up? I’m her best mate after all. Plus, her parents asked me if I could whilst they dealt with preparing her room and treatments for her arrival home,” Ron pushes past Draco and straight to you. “Morning, darling. I have fresh clothes for you and your mum is making breakfast for you back at your house. Ready?”

You look back and forth between Ron and Draco and the tension between the two is palpable. You thought that Draco and Harry had problems? This was another level. “Um, yeah, I guess so,” you reply to Ron while looking at Draco who shakes his head, understanding completely. Your parents had sent Ron for you. You didn’t need Draco. Draco just gives you a small smile before walking to the door. “Wait, Draco,” you call for him like you did last night. “I’ll see you again, right? You owe me a story,” you gently smile.

Draco lets a pink hue reach his cheeks. “You’ll see me again, darling. I promise,” he tells you. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, this directed toward Ron this time. “Until then, love,” he winks at you before walking out of the room and down the hospital corridor.

Of course, Draco wished he could be the one taking you home from the hospital. He wanted to be with you every step of the way on your recovery. Draco wanted to hold your hand and guide you through every bump in the road. But if this is what you wanted, he had to respect that. He would have his time. He was sure of it. You would come around.

Meanwhile, you changed in the bathroom into the fresh clothes Ron had brought with him. The soft cotton of your clothes made you sigh in relief, it was so much better than that itchy hospital gown. You emerge from the bathroom, straightening out your hoodie before breathing out, “Let’s go home.”

“Brilliant,” Ron beams, guiding you out of the room, his hand on the small of your back. The action makes you gasp a little bit, but you eventually relax and calm yourself down. It’s a friendly thing, (Y/N). Merlin.

The two of you exit in the hospital, leaving behind all of your fears and worries, ready to face whatever obstacle with a newfound confidence. As you climb into the car, Ron starts it and drives away from the hospital, the radio playing whatever muggle music the channel had to offer. The car ride is mostly quiet except for a few exchanges, but that’s when you notice Ron isn’t taking you back to your childhood home. Rather, you are going somewhere else.

“Ronald Weasley,” you furrow your brows. “This isn’t the way home to my parent’s house...where are you taking me?”

Ron doesn’t hide the cheeky grin from his face. “We’re going home alright,” he laughs. “Just my house.”

The Burrow. Merlin, help you.

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corseque · 4 years ago

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Since you played those three’s routes, which one would you suggest if someone wanted the most the thematic ties, without romancing Solas? Blackwall’s feels the most obvious to me, but I’d love your thoughts. Also, how would you rank those romances personally?

BLACKWALL yeah BUT ALSO IRON BULL? And CULLEN too actually?

They’re all so related it’s wild. All 4 are monster husband romances.

Bear = Blackwall

Lion = Cullen

Dragon = Iron Bull

Wolf = Solas

In different ways, moral monsters with regrets who are trying to change their life, or are failing to do so. All of them are about the identity of the character, and who they want to be or decide to become. Names, and names changing. Titles and roles in society. Deception and shame.

Hissrad/Iron Bull, becoming tal-vashoth

Blackwall/Rainier, the concept of a “good man”

Cullen as a Templar or a free man

Solas (obvious)

Failure to live up to their promises or their responsibilities to their roles, and generally stories about weakness or faltering

Iron Bull and his responsibility to the Qun but also his men

Blackwall and his responsibility to his men

Cullen and his responsibility to the Inquisition

Solas and his responsibility to the people

About finding faith or strength or trust in those outside themselves

Iron Bull’s shift from the Qun to the Chargers

Blackwall’s shift to the Grey Wardens or the Inquisition

Cullen’s shift from the Templars to the Inquisition

solas’ failure to do this :’(

All of them are about these men trying to transform and heal after experiencing incredible trauma that just breaks you

Blackwall’s deep moral injury, having to live with yourself afterward

Solas’ indescribably deep moral injury that even Cole can barely catch the edges of, it’s so big and horrible

Iron Bull’s deep moral injury, when he lost himself fighting the Fog Warriors, and the tension dividing himself from his people

Cullen’s deep trauma after the Circle collapsed in DAO and Kirkwall collapsed in DA2, and the moral injury of how he contributed to what happened to the mages in Kirkwall, recognizing that and wanting to do better than Meredith

And actually, Bull, Blackwall and Solas in the game fully talk to each other and judge each other and relate and help each other process their traumas because they have such closely related experiences. It makes me so sad that Solas deeply projects onto the others negatively but at the same time is particularly good at helping and comforting the others over these moral injuries. I put their (spoiler) banter under a cut at the end, for reference to show they really do talk to each other about their traumas, and compare themselves to each other. I kind of wish Cullen could have had banters with them too.

As for ranking them, I think they’re all very good. Solasmance is bestmance lol

Blackwall: You haven't said much to me since... well, you know.

Solas: There is little to say. I assumed we were alike. We'd seen war, knew its terrible costs, but understood that it was necessary. But there was nothing necessary in what you did. You did not survive death and destruction. You sowed them. To feed your own desires.

Blackwall: I know that. I see it every time I look in a mirror. I try to make up for it.

Solas: By wearing another skin. You ran away rather than face what you had done. You wasted your time.

Solas: I wish to apologize for what I said to you, Blackwall.

Blackwall: You were right, though. I deserved it.

Solas: My people had a saying long ago - "The healer has the bloodiest hands." You cannot treat a wound without knowing how deep it goes. You cannot heal pain by hiding it. You must accept. Accept the blood to make things better. You have taken the first step. That is the hardest part.

Solas: So, you and the Inquisitor are together.

Blackwall: Yes. Is that a problem?

Solas: Far from it. People should seize any chance for a moment's respite in times such as these. I am glad you've allowed yourself some happiness.

Blackwall: I expected you to think that I should keep punishing myself.

Solas: I would be concerned if you forgot your past, but that seems unlikely. Beyond that, guilt is a distraction. One we can ill afford.

Blackwall: What of you, then? Have you found someone to share a moment's respite?

Solas: I find my peace elsewhere.

Blackwall: You sacrificed your own men.

Iron Bull: I'm Qunari. We don't flinch from duty.

Blackwall: Your men trusted you. You betrayed that trust when you left them to die.

Iron Bull: No.

Blackwall: No?

Iron Bull: Two key differences between you and me, Rainier.

Iron Bull: First, I didn't kill a wagon full of kids.

Iron Bull: My men were holding a position to secure an objective. I mourn their loss and honor their sacrifice.

Iron Bull: And second, I'm proud of who I am. I hope that's not a problem for you.

Blackwall: Not unless you ask me to hold a hill, Qunari.

Blackwall: So, Bull, how does it feel to be Tal-Vashoth?

Iron Bull: Feels a bit like I've been living a lie, and now it's coming back to bite me in the ass. What's that like, Blackwall?

Blackwall: Calm down, I meant no offense.

Blackwall: As you say, I know something of being cut off from a past life, having to find a new way.

Iron Bull: Well, you could've just led with that.

Blackwall: In any event, you have the Chargers. You haven't lost everything.

Iron Bull: Yeah, I think I'm good.

Iron Bull: Now, isn't this better? Getting the burden of that lie off your chest?

Blackwall: And exchanging it for the burden of everyone hating me? Yes. So much better.

Iron Bull: Hey, I don’t hate you. You and me? We’re good.

Iron Bull: Now that you know who you are, you can stop doubting yourself and start hitting crap again.

Blackwall: Why don't we hit a few bottles first, huh?

Solas: You fought the Tal-Vashoth for a long time, Iron Bull, did you not?

Iron Bull: Every day.

Iron Bull: I'd kill some of them, they'd kill some of my guys, and then I'd kill them some more.

Solas: No man can kill so many people without breaking inside. To survive... those you fight must become monsters.

Iron Bull: The ones that kill innocent people, yeah. The rest... I don't know.

Solas: The mind does marvelous things to protect itself.

Iron Bull: Nice job in that last fight, Solas. You really kicked the crap outta that guy.

Solas: I suppose.

Iron Bull: What, you don't think so? You ripped him a new one. It was great!

Solas: Unless the fight is personal, violence is a means to an end. It isn't appropriate to celebrate.

Iron Bull: I don't know. Gotta wonder about anyone who fights as much as we do and doesn't have some fun with it.

Solas: We have fought living men, with loves and families, and all that they might have been is gone.

Iron Bull: Yeah, but they were assholes!

Iron Bull: So, you going to let me have it, Solas? Or do I get to wait and wonder.

Solas: What do you mean?

Iron Bull: We've got the alliance with my people. Given how much you love the Qun, I figured...

Solas: I might scold you? Berate you for your decisions?

Iron Bull: Hey. The Chargers died as heroes for the good of the mission.

Solas: I never said otherwise.

Solas: The truth is, Iron Bull, you are Qunari. I cannot be disappointed in your decisions.

Solas: As a mindless, soulless drone, you could never make any.

Solas: You are not Tal-Vashoth, Iron Bull, not really.

Iron Bull: Well that's a fuckin' relief.

Solas: You are no beast, snapping under the stress of the Qun's harsh discipline.

Solas: You are a man who made a choice... possibly the first of your life.

Iron Bull: I've always liked fighting. What if I turn savage, like the other Tal-Vashoth?

Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor... and you have me.

Iron Bull: Thanks, Solas.

#Dragon Age #Inquisition spoilers #monster romance #SO MUCH MONSTER ROMANCE #Solas #Iron Bull #Cullen Rutherford #Blackwall #I love romance #these are so good #Anonymous

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shyrose57 · 4 years ago

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Brothers anon, it makes me really happy and comforts me that you enjoy reading what I submit. It makes me really happy to write all of this and finally be able to tell someone my ideas. Thank you so much.

At first he kept trying to deny the father figure role, but when one night Jackie had a nightmare and came to him and ended up calling him dad, he stopped denying it and accepted it. And once he accepted it he did basically adopt all of them. Jackie and Grievous are literally chaos incarnate most days. They regularly love to prank the contestants and just act insane. Ran and Jackie just kind of hang around eachother, like Ran could be reading and Jackie training and they'd enjoy eachothers company. They do sometimes nap next to eachother, or play card games (which is a rare instance where Ran gets (playfully) rilled up and competitive). Grievous and Ran bonding sadly gets interrupted when Ranbob suddenly drops in, but before that Grievous would try to talk to Ran about what book he's reading and just try to make conversation with him.

Oh the height difference definitely remains. And its both terrifying and hailours to new people. It's even better when it's a 2v2 fight because Jackie has a habit of just climbing Ran like a monkey gym and sitting on his shoulders and its terrifying.

Well, since the drinking age is 3, I personally think the age limit is like 14 or something close. I believe I made their ages as Ran is 19 (almost 20. Maybe 4 months away), Jackie is 16, Watson is 30 something, Grievous is 22, and Ranbob is 28 (Ran is younger than his brother by 9 years) I have written down all their ages somewhere (and the ages where the events of Mizu took place) and if I got any wrong I will submit another ask with their ages. The other gladiators have managed to keep good relationships with most of eachother. A few like Grievous and Genevieve are close, Edward, Levi, and Watson are drinking buddies. Lagguis sadly isn't as involved cause he is sick and can't vist often at all. (I think I got everyone. Tell me if I missed anyone please, I cant check cause whenever I exit tumblr, tumblr deletes everything in my ask :') )

I dont have many rules for the Pit rn but I do have, no injuries that could cause long term or chronic damage, no sabotaging opponents, no teaming unless its a team round, no blackmail or anything of the sort to force an opponent to forfeit, and in order for a battle to end due to forfeit both sides must agree to it. But the Pit in general is a lot of things, there's fights for money, fame, and positions (like general). There's tournaments meant for nothing other than to show skill and just to fight your heart out. It's open to anyone above 14 and anyone under 80, to people from Subbin to those just passing through.

And there are different battles in the Pit, theres singles, the ones we saw in the Tales of the SMP episode. Teams, where teams of 2 battles against eachother. Free-for-all, where literally everyone fights against eachother. And Ion battles, battles where there are super powered weapons (like flame 2 iron sword. Or strength 3 potions) that spawn in the area at random. Typically Ran and Watson work best toghere, as their strategists and plan everything with back up plans, and they always call out warnings and watch eachothers back so its incredibly hard to actually hit them. And Jackie and Grievous work best toghere, with the two going insane and often taking people by surprise with their unmeasure and randomized movements and attacks.

At the start Ranbob was completely under Dreams thrall, not being able to really think for himself and even foregoing self care. When Ranbob starts to become himself again the fishermen are more than confused and hesitant, with Cletus especially stating multiple times that it may just be a trick. So it takes a while but Isaac actually is the one to suggest maybe it isn't a trick, and has to do with the mask that was found. This is later confirmed when the mask is brought to the group and Ranbob has a massive negative reaction that sets him back to how he was when they first met him.

Im honestly not sure yet, I think I want it to be a 'lets never go back' type thing but im not positive yet.

I dont have a solid backstory for the fishermen, but I know I want a little bit of it to tie to the story. Do you have any ideas for their backstory or nah? I do know I want them to have met eachother while they where in unfortunate situations and because of those they got family level close.

Ranbob doesn't take the little space well at first; staying outside when able too, even though that really upset Benjamin; and Ranbob has no idea how the outside works and has no idea how to read the weather or what he can and cant eat, but hey the enderman boi is trying his best to make up for everything he's done. And trying to build his own house to not impose on the fishermen (much like Ranboo did with Techno), but Benjamin wouldn't accept that and kept dragging him inside. It wasn't that hard for Benjamin, Isaac, and Charles to get used to Ranbob, already being used to sharing a small house, it was more Cletus with him refusing to leave Ranbob alone even for a second because he doesn't trust Ranbob at all.

The two groups actually get along surprisingly well! They like eachother and Watson once said, "It was like a family reunion. Or like long lost siblings finally found their way home."

I am once again not sure! Originally I planned for them to stay in Subbin and in the Pit. But the more I think about it the more boring that is and more I like the idea of the groups traveling toghere in the world.

I like this question! So enderman travel in groups called hauntings right? I personally headcanon the enderman in this group are basically family, biological or not. And ever since Ran and Ranbob lost their family they lost their haunting, which can be mentally damaging to a enderman. Once Ran found Waston, Jackie, and Grievous and started hanging around them more, he started feeling a connection ot them he hasn't felt on a long time. He's claimed them, as his haunting, his family. And he'll defend them with his life against anyone and anything. And then suddenly Ranbob came in, a enderman that should be part of his haunting but isn't, a enderman that killed his previous haunting. So Ran is incredibly defensive over his group, and is trying his best to keep Ranbob as far from his haunting as possible, to protect them.

Now Ranbob also got a haunting, his being Charles, Isaac, Benjamin, and even Cletus. So Ranbob is also defensive over his family. But unlike Ran, Ranbob still considers his brother as part of his haunting, his family (and yes, Ranbob did think Ran was dead when he first chased him out years ago, so he's shocked and relieved that his baby brother is still alive). And he sees how his family gets along so well with Rans family and then starts to even consider Rans haunting part of Ranbob's. Basically Ranbob has a big heart and is willing to accept almost anyone into his family, no matter what they've done.

Yep, the reason Porkius is so interested in Ran is because he's an enderman hybrid. And no one else is a hybrid expect for the two brothers (and Porkius, with him being a piglin hybrid).

Porkius is excited! He's excited to see what happens and is more than happy to agree to help as long as he is kept in the loop. Though unless he's directly asked to be involved he prefers watching from a distance at whats happening. Just so he doesn't get mauled by a pissed off enderman.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes (its late) and its so long! Im probably going to try to shorten them.

I’m glad you’re happy, it’s a nice thing to feel. Your ideas are really cool, and I hope I’ll get to see more of them in the future.

Now, can I simply say how adorable so much of this is? Jackie going to Watson when he had a nightmare, the Rans being protective of their groups, Jackie climbing Ran? I love that, it’s very heartwarming and cute, and it made me smile.

So Watson wasn’t really sure what to do with his new title at first, hm? And then Jackie called him dad? How’d he feel about that? How’d Jackie feel about the slip? Or did he even notice? He’s parenting them all, he’s gonna have a dad voice and everything. How do the adopted ones feel about him embracing it?

Jackie and Grievous, two people to truly fear when they wish to cause havoc. Tremble before them. Do they prank people, or do they just become absolute madmen on the battlefield? Or something else. Honestly, anything with these two just instantly makes me amused.

Jackie and Ran being chill buddies. very nice. Ran getting competitive over card games is a funny thought. Does he win often? Does Jackie? What kind of card games do they play?

Rather sad Ran and Grievous bonding is interrupted, but it’s nice to hear Grievous trying it. Hopefully they’ll get there someday.

Oh my god, it’s the height difference. Jackie getting on Ran’s shoulder sounds absolutely terrifying. Imagine being some poor new guy pitted against these gremlins and the short ones climbs on the tall ones shoulder-both look absolutely gleeful with the destruction they’re about to wreak, and you already know you cannot outrun them.

Jackie...Jackie...he’s da youngest. He’s small, and young, and you have no idea how much I’m laughing at this. I don’t even know why, it’s just really, really funny to me. Probably something to do with what a complete force of chaos we all know this boy is. Oddly fitting, but hilarious. How does Jackie feel about this?

How do the others? Are they a bit more protective over him? Does Ran like to flaunt his three years more over him?

Grievous and Genevieve are buddies! Very nice, they seem to have a good dynamic. Watson, Edward, and Levi also being close? Very interesting, has a lot of potential. I bet they share a lot of funny stories.

So we’ve established the basics of The Pit. Doesn’t seem too bad, for a fighting arena, to be honest. Seems pretty popular, actually. Do the gladiators live there? In the palace? Or do they just have a house somewhere nearby? What kind of establishments and areas are around? Food places, stores?

So Ran and Watson are the scariest team because of their strategy, and Jackie and Grievous are the scariest team because of their randomness? It checks out. I’m curious though, how do the other combinations work out?

Ranbob sounds like he has a less than fun time here, and the poor guy could really use some closure. What’s he like, free from the influence of the mask? He seems pretty close to Benjamin, so at least he’s got that going for him. Though he and Cletus don’t seem to have the strongest bond at first. How is that resolved?

And how does Ran feel about his brother’s new haunting, after everything? I imagine that he’s at least a little bit unhappy with it, for one reason or another-and there’s quite a few reasons for him to pick from.

How did that house-building attempt go, between Ran never being above water, and probably never building a house before? I can’t imagine too well.

Some ideas for backstory, well, hm. Isaac seemed dressed a bit fancier than the others, perhaps he comes from a richer family than the others? That’s about all I’ve got for now, sorry.

It’s nice to hear they got along, who clicks the easiest?

Possible road trip? Always fun.

So, the enderman hybrids have adopted their respective groups as their hauntings. You’ve mentioned Ranbob’s pretty cool with this, how does Ran feel? Obviously, he’s less than pleased with Ranbob, but what about the fishermen? Protective Ran and Ranbob! How protective exactly? Is it subtle, or overbearing at times? Actually, how do their instincts lead to them interacting with their groups overall?

Porkius must not see Ender hybrids too often, if he’s so interested in them. It’s nice that he’s willing to help out though, and his concern is valid. I wouldn’t want an angry enderman hybrid after me either.

Are hybrids not overly common, then, if there’s only Ran, Ranbob, and Porkius around currently, or are they just not mentioned a lot?

Thanks for the ask, a lot of it made me smile. I enjoyed reading it, and I hope you’ll be willing to send more when you have the time.

#dream smp #Brothers AU #dream smp au #tales from the smp #ranbob #ran #jackie #watson #isaac #charles #benjamin #cletus #grievous #porkius

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hercleverboy · 3 years ago

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CONGRATULATIONS MY LOVE, you deserve this so so much that i cannot even put it into words, although that will not stop me from trying. you are genuinely one of the most talented sweetest people i have ever met, you make me so happy just by messaging me and you’re so supportive and i’m so happy that you’re so successful. i am struggling to think of another person who deserves this more than you, you’re talented, and intelligent and so nice and beautiful and interesting and i’m so so so happy for you and i hope you know that i love you babe💋❤️

NOW SORRY FOR HOW SAPPY THAT WAS but for your celebration can i do🍉💌💓and📒(i’ll let you pick your fav fic of mine cause i would like to hear about dat one from your perspective)

kate’s 1.5k sleepover !! 🥂

holly!! you’re such a sweetheart, I love you very much💞

💓 I’ll give you a compliment!

holly I am about to detail all the ways I love you in your lil’ love letter, however I’ll take this opportunity to remind you what a fantastic writer you are! your ability to encompass spencer’s character always blows me away <3

🍉 I’ll choose one of my wip’s and post a little snippet!

this comes from my wip ‘comatose’, which I only started working on a day or two ago, enjoy!

He gulped, tried to slow the shaking of his hands as he entered the room, pushing the door closed behind him.

When his eyes landed on her, laying in the hospital bed, machines hooked up to her and numerous coloured wires spiralling from her arms, he had to take a moment. He felt his breath catch in his throat, his eyes begin to water at the mere sight of her. It was as though the world had stopped turning, if only for a moment, as he watched her chest move up and down ever so slightly. He felt frozen, unable to move forward. His brain raced with medical facts and statistical probabilities (none of which he liked the sound of.)

Spencer had never felt so helpless.

As if everything had suddenly locked into place, he felt himself moving toward her, his feet seemingly moving on their own accord and he felt himself struggling to catch up with the movements of his own body. All he knew was that he had to get to her, he had to feel her.

He grasped her hand in as tight of a hold as he could, whimpering at how cold her hands felt. His only comfort was that of the heart monitor by her bedside, beeping steadily. He sat down in the chair that was placed beside the bed, holding her hand in both of his and resting his head on her stomach, desperately trying to calm down his erratic breathing. He whispered to himself, reminded himself that she was alive, forced himself to count the beats of her heart as he heard them on the monitor, clutching onto her hand in such a vice-like grip that he was sure she would have winced if she was awake.

After a few moments, having calmed himself down as much as he could in that situation, he looked up at her, watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, finding comfort in the slight flush of her cheeks, clinging to any and every sign of life from her— because if Spencer didn’t focus on those then he’d have to admit how petrified he was that she looked so lifeless. Void of all warmth and solace that he usually found within the woman he loved.

Spencer had never felt so helpless.

📒send me a fic of yours and I’ll write a review

since you asked me to choose, I’ve gone for ‘Dancing With Our Hands Tied’ , because you know how much I love a good angst fic (which this certainly is!)

Right out of the gate, Holly hits us right in the heart with the ‘Spencer Reid hated funerals’. I mean, it just immediately sets the tone for this piece, puts this pit in our guts because as a reader we know that this is gonna hurt to read, in the best way possible. It’s that slightly sinking feeling you get with angst where you know it isn’t going to end well for Spencer, but yet it’s already captured you and pulled you in— there’s no way you’re going to stop now. I always find with Holly that she manages to do that so well in all of her pieces. I’m always immediately immersed into the world she creates, always hooked on every word.

And then we have “No matter how many philosophers described love in the most beautiful, enchanting way, Spencer didn’t want it anymore.” That’s such a beautiful sentence, and perfectly encapsulates the way that Spencer feels. He’s watching Hotch lose his wife, and he’s thinking ‘god please, don’t ever let me have to feel a pain like that.’ It’s very life like, so much so that it almost hurts. When you watch those you love, your friends, suffer through such unfathomable pain, and you watch how much it breaks them, you do find yourself hoping that it’ll never happen to you— that you’ll never have to suffer the same fate.

Which ultimately is why this piece is so well written, why it flows so easily and it’s because swearing off of love after watching his friend suffer as a consequence is such a Spencer thing to do. He’s managed to convince himself that in order to protect himself, save himself the hurt, the answer is simply to never fall in love. But of course, in a very Spencer-like fashion, he forgets that we never fall in love on purpose. Love is not so black and white, it is complex in its intricacies and is never so simple. He forgets that we often end up falling when we’re not even searching for love, and is that not just the perfect way for Spencer Reid to find the love of his life? When he really isn’t looking for them?

And then, as all tales of love go, he falls hard and fast for someone when he was least expecting to. (side note: the use of ‘a truly impossible task’ is so good here, mostly because again, holly manages to completely encompass the essence of Spencer’s character. Spencer has never thought he was good enough, a fact we all know. As far as he is concerned, everyone leaves eventually. no one is permanent, no one stays for as long as they say they will. an impossible task indeed.)

I love that his and the readers first date is so spontaneous, a little out of character for him but perfectly so: because it makes so much sense for him to get distracted by a person who manages to enamour him entirely, until suddenly they’ve been talking for hours and he’s thinking of how he nearly missed out on this, how he nearly swore off of love entirely. (the scene of Spencer freaking out over whether the previous night was in fact a date, and what kind of flowers would be appropriate for him to give her— again, so entirely Spencer and so so adorable.)

Spencer deciding that the only logical way to keep the reader safe is to keep them a secret for a while is so incredibly him, because we saw him do that in canon with Maeve. Albeit, she did have a stalker, but Spencer deciding to hide her from the team for so long was for more personal reasons too, because truly he wanted to keep her to himself for a little while longer (which he covered with the whole ‘I wanted to protect her’ thing). but how cute of him to bring the reader flowers too!!! we love the domesticity of it all (especially with him calling them ‘flower’) and then Spencer refuses to let them meet the team, for a lot longer than they thought this relationship was going to be kept a secret. and then he becomes paranoid, of course, because he’s pouring so much into this idea of keeping his partner safe, preventing them from ending up like Haley that he actually manages to jeopardise the entire relationship. (good one, Spence.)

and then the final heart wrenching moment, where all of Spencer’s paranoia and insecurities mount up and he looses the love of his life and his child. it’s ironic, really. that he was so afraid of losing them that he thought he would protect them, but it was those actions that lead to losing them anyway. I really like the theme of flowers throughout this piece, and the symbolism that accompanies them.

the final part being ‘daffodils and daisies. the flowers of new beginnings’ really leaves this fic on a high note; despite all the angsty goodness involved. i love open-ended fics, ones that leave the slightest bit of room for the reader to imagine that things went a different way— perhaps the reader and Spencer meet again someday, and he gets to be a father to his child, or perhaps the reader starts their new beginning and gets to live the life they’d always wanted to, even without Spencer by their side. I love an indefinite ending; because it leaves space for the audience to create their own ending it a way, we get to decide just how sad this can be, or whether it is in a fact a happy ending.

(I cannot recommend holly’s other works enough, I would highly suggest you make your way through her brilliant masterlist)

💌 I’ll handwrite you a lil’ personal love letter!

#kate’s sleepover🥂#holly🦑#that’s my wife!

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badger-writes · 3 years ago

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Star Wars OC Ship Week 2021 - “for light and life”

Day 4 - Action/Adventure

Then...

Sskeer came at him like a feral Nexu, leveraging a ferocious primal strength into a totally unrelenting barrage of lightsaber strikes. He assaulted Kelto’s defense with a flurry of fast, sweeping slashes, battering his sides with wide swordstrokes and raining down heavy overhead blows from above - the hallmarks of the Aggression Form, Ataru, his skill at which he had honed to razor keenness over the long period of his Knighthood.

Kelto wished he had foreseen that the intensity of his friend’s fighting style would match that of his demeanor. More than that, though, he wished he had kept up with his saber practice. His style was that of Resilience, Soresu, a style which valued ultimate defense - a fitting form for a practitioner of the healing arts, but not for a duelist. As the Rodian himself now proved, being buffeted as he was around the sparring circle, preventing the Trandoshan from landing a blow by last-minute movement or the skin of his teeth.

Kelto had assumed working in the medical ward precluded the possibility of encountering lightsaber combat in his daily life. Sskeer had made it his mission to thoroughly deconstruct that notion.

“Focus,” he hissed over the electrical crash of their plasma blades. “Do not let the fight dictate your reality.”

“I’m not,” Kelto protested. “I’m - I’m enduring!”

“Survival alone will not guarantee victory. If you spend all your energy waiting for a counterblow, you will lose. You must seize control, not wait for it to be given!”

He lifted his blade as if to strike Kelto’s right quarter, then swung instead for his feet. The Rodian jumped back, landing unsteadily on his feet, and attempted to reestablish his guard. With a thrust, Sskeer pushed it away.

“Just give me a second,” Kelto grunted, swatting away another incoming blow.’

“Your opponent will show no mercy. Why should I?”

“Just - just slow down! I can’t - I can’t keep up with you!”

“You’re in over your head,” Sskeer lectured. “Becoming flustered. The fear, the anger - it is taking hold of you.”

“Sskeer, please--!”

“Without balance, we lose discipline. Without discipline, we lose control.”

With a cry, Kelto lashed out - a clumsy, sloppy swing that was born of no style save frustration. Sskeer dodged it easily. Then he reached out with his free hand and seized the front of the healer’s tunic in an iron-clawed grasp. This was followed with a leg sweep that knocked his feet out from under him and a simple throw that sent him definitively down to the mattress. The impact forced the breath from Kelto’s lungs and his lightsaber from his fingers, its training blade disappearing with a sad hiss as it deactivated.

Sskeer held the point of his own saber over Kelto’s heart where he lay. His reptilian face was sympathetic, but pitiless.

“And that is why we must drill,” he said.

Groaning, Kelto forced himself up on his elbows. He was panting hard, sweat shining on his face and darkening the collar of his robes. By contrast, Sskeer didn’t seem to have a hair out of place, insofar as one could say such a thing about a Trandoshan.

“Dammit,” the Rodian gasped. “I just -- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“You were unwise to lower your defenses,” Sskeer began, fixing his hilt to his belt. “Your last swing created a clear angle of attack on your center.”

“I figured that part out, thanks,” Kelto snapped, drawing his knees to his chest. “It’s everything else that’s a problem.”

“The fault isn’t yours alone. Soresu prioritizes defense above all others, but a shield alone cannot win a battle. You must bring a sword as well. That is what I am trying to show you, Kelto.”

“Well, all you’re showing me right now is that my shield sucks.”

“A problem that can be solved. But not by ruminating on your failures.”

The Rodian sighed violently, glaring between his toes. Turning towards the edge of the circle, Sskeer reached out and used the Force to levitate a canister of water into his waiting hand. Then he sat cross-legged on the floor beside Kelto, offering Kelto the canteen. He took it like a secondhand trophy.

“This time you lasted much longer,” Sskeer informed him as he gulped down the cool liquid. “Against an Ataru as aggressive as my own, that is no easy feat. I commend you.”

“I still lost,” Kelto observed grumpily.

“This is true. When your attitude about saber combat changes, this will change, too.”

“That’s just it, Sskeer - I don’t think it will.” Kelto let out a guilty breath. “Saber combat was never important to me. It never felt - right. A pacifist shouldn’t carry a laser sword. And neither should a healer.”

“A pacifist can be a healer, and a peacekeeper as well. More than that, he ought to be able to defend himself. All of these concepts can coexist.”

“I understand that, but - come on, you don’t really believe we’ll be having lightsaber duels again, do you? The Sith have been extinct for ages by now. Who would strike at the Jedi or the Republic on such a scale again?”

“I don’t know,” Sskeer said slowly. “I hope such a conflict does not occur for many generations to come. But I believe in being prepared for the galaxy’s sake, if not only my own. And so should you.”

“But - but I barely leave the Temple,” Kelto protested. “I barely even leave my quarters!”

“You cannot rely on routine and habit to shield you from the world. The future will find bring you to many dangers, Kelto, whether that be a patrol in the Coruscant underworld or a mission of peace and relief to the Outer Rim. It may even bring danger to you, here, in the place where we Jedi feel safest. Will you feel very wise then, if you allow yourself to become comfortable and complacent? Will you feel safe? Will those in your care?”

Kelto had no answer. He went back to staring uncertainly at his toes.

Sskeer heaved a breath through his nostrils. “If I upset you, I apologize. It is a matter I care deeply about. For the sake of the galaxy - and for your own. It is… the way of the Guardian.”

“I know.”

“When we continue, I will… slow down, and offer more suggestions for improvement. From now on, we proceed at your pace, not mine.”

“...Thank you, Sskeer. That… means a lot.”

The Trandoshan reached out and rested a palm on Kelto’s shoulder. “I seek only to serve you, Healer. And to help.”

Kelto offered him a shaky smile, covering his hand with his own. “Don’t we all?”

Now…

Oh good. The pirates had sliced a loadlifter.

Kelto swore under his breath and ducked as a Class B medium cargo container went hurtling through the air overhead, smashing through part of the hastily-erected CSF barricade. The ziggurat platform of the derrick major squatted over them all, offering the criminals and their reprogrammed muscle an opportunity for raining blasterfire and shipping crates down upon the police frontline. The sting operation had clearly failed; the pirates weren’t leaving without a fight, and the police were horribly outnumbered.

And the only thing standing between them and death by volleys of laser fire was Kelto and Sskeer.

One thing Soresu was good for was deflection training. As bolts of sizzling red plasma plunged towards them, Kelto intercepted them with his blade, sending them harmlessly into the ground or off to the side. Beside him, Sskeer, too, was bouncing shots off the edge of his saber, though his technique lacked refinement; in trying, perhaps, to reflect the pirates’ own shots back at them, they instead bounced wildly back into the loading bay, spalling off chunks of permacrete or ricocheting off the surface of blast-resistant cargo pods.

“Injured to our left,” Kelto called out as he sensed them. “I’m going to get them.”

“I’ll give you cover,” Sskeer nodded. “Let’s move.”

Carefully, they sidestrafed through the wide open space of the cargo landing. Kelto relied on intuition to lead them to the wounded, and for intuition, he trusted the Force. It brought them to the foot of a gantry crane where two dockworkers and a security official were taking cover. The officer was slumped against its foot, bleeding slightly from the mouth, a darkly-singed crater on his stomach where a blaster bolt had breached his body armor.

“Give me cover,” Kelto ordered, and Sskeer obliged; he held his lightsaber out before him through the Force and made it spin until a single spear of light became a dazzling electric-blue shield, almost completely circular in the perfection of its cycle. Incoming fire was all but spattered harmlessly away.

Sheathing his own blade, Kelto crouched down beside the cop, examining his wound. “What’s your name, officer?”

“J-Joh,” the man sputtered. “Joh Andaris.”

“It’s good to meet you, Joh. I’m Kelto. You’re gonna be fine.” He took a stim-shot from a hip pouch and injected it into the man’s shoulder. “That’s to get you on your feet. In a couple of seconds my friend and I are going to have some words with those gentlemen up on the warehouse level, and when we do that I need you all to run back towards the police line, yes?”

“How are we supposed to get all the way back there?!” one of the workers, an Aqualish, quailed. “We’ll be ripped to shreds!”

“We’ll draw their fire.” Kelto lifted the man up onto his feet. “Be ready.”

“All by yourselves?!”

“It’s what we do. We are all the Republic.”

He turned back to Sskeer just in time to watch a blaster bolt slip through his defenses. It slid perfectly through a gap in his deflection pattern and sheared over the surface of his shoulder; the Trandoshan hissed, almost dropping his concentration, calling his saber back to his hand for a more conventional defense.

To the far right of their position, back across the way, Kelto sighted a Class C cargo unit - a long trapezoid of rust-colored durasteel, taller than him by quite a bit and by Sskeer by not much more. But size mattered not. He stretched out his hands and cradled it in the Force, lifting it - pulling it close to the point it blocked all the incoming fire that Sskeer was drawing.

The Rodian edged out behind it as the civilians used its cover to limp back to safety. Sskeer, in turn, took hold of the container as well; they moved in concert, step by step, pushing forward to the center of the plaza.

“How’s your shoulder?” Kelto called. He had to raise his voice, otherwise Sskeer might not have heard him over the hailstorm of blaster shots pitting the other side of their durasteel wall.

“I’ve had worse.”

Kelto glanced at the wound. It was oozing emerald green blood into Sskeer’s white-and-gold Jedi robes. “Not that by much,” he commented. “Sure you don’t want a stim?”

“Save it. Maybe one of the gentlemen shooting at us needs a pick-me-up,” the Trandoshan retorted.

“Hey, you wanted me out here!”

“Just be ready--”

“I’m with you--”

“For light and life!”

Together, they angled the container upwards - and hurled it through the air towards the pirates. They scattered back, falling away from the walkway above, as it crashed through the railing and rolled to a stop somewhere beyond the edge.

Leaping to a phenomenal height, Sskeer and Kelto followed after it.

Then…

When he landed, Kelto ducked into a roll, swiping out at Sskeer’s shins; the Trandoshan moved to push the blow away, realized there wasn’t enough time, and only just managed to jump back from it before it connected. He grinned even through his blocking when it was followed by an evenly-spaced series of strikes.

“Good,” he said over the clash of lightsabers. “Good! Seize the offensive. Build on your momentum.”

Kelto smirked at him through their blade lock. “Now who’s waiting for a countermove?”

In response Sskeer levered his blade away, moving his own smoothly back and up through the air for an overhead slash. Here, Kelto did something he did not expect; instead of intercepting his attack directly, he sidestepped to his right and brought his lightsaber upwards at a diagonal angle, following the edge of Sskeer’s blade in almost perfect parallel.

In spite of himself, Kelto grinned triumphantly as he made his attack. His saber’s edge would travel directly into Sskeer’s belly, framed by the position of his knees below and his arms above; it was a guaranteed hit. A guaranteed victory, even!

But then Sskeer reared back hard, forcing himself to bend at a near ninety-degree angle to the floor, supporting his body almost solely through pushing down through the balls of his feet. As Kelto’s strike swung harmlessly over him, brilliant turquoise energy passing right above his face, he pivoted hard on his toes, swinging out from under Kelto’s arms and pirouetting away from his opponent’s zone of control. Transforming a decisive blow into a near miss.

Spinning his saber in one-handed agitation, Kelto gave him a Rodian stink eye. “A giant like you,” he said crossly, “should not be allowed to move like that.”

Sskeer fixed him with a sly stare. “That’s not what you thought last Fete Week.”

“Don’t go there,” the healer laughed, pointing with his sword warningly. “Do not go there.”

“Try and stop me,” the Guardian said, huskily.

Kelto gave a cry of action and surged forward, clutching his sword like a spear--

And at the last moment Sskeer stepped to one side, and Kelto saw how close to the edge of the sparring circle he’d been standing. In a panic, he threw out his free hand and grabbed the front of Sskeer’s robe, his toes digging into the mat and dragging him to a stop, hanging almost completely over the short dip down to the floor below.

“Your next lesson,” Sskeer declared passively. Having an entire Rodian come to an emergency stop by clinging desperately to his shirt hadn’t so much as budged him. “Don’t blind yourself to your surroundings.”

“That’s not fair,” Kelto protested half-heartedly. “You distracted me.”

“That is the point.” He grabbed Kelto by the arm and pulled him back to his feet on the sparring mat. “I’m supposed to.”

“It wasn’t the fair kind of distraction.”

“No fight is fair, Kelto. You must adapt to anything and everything that your opponent may have in store for you. Focus on the reality of the fight, not temporary diversions.”

The healer crossed his arms, crinkling his snout puckishly. “Even if they’re big, tall, incorrigibly sexy distractions?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Especially then,” Sskeer chuffed, turning. “Now come - back to first position. Now that you’ve got the hang of things, let’s go again.”

“Lose the tunic first, big guy.”

He stopped, turning on his heel. “Exssssscuse me?”

“Hey - you wanted to train me to block out distractions, right?” Kelto strutted to his marker and crouched down into beginning stance, grinning. “So start being distracting already.”

Sskeer smirked. “As you wish,” he said, shrugging out of his top.

Now…

In the heat of the battle, Kelto’s awareness had developed into a kind of double vision - an immediate center of attention where his focus narrowed to encompass the most immediately pressing complication, and a wider, peripheral awareness where the details of his environment and surrounding happenings were sorted into neat piles to be confronted later.

The two men before him leveling carbines in his direction rated his immediate attention. Sskeer was to his right, on the other side of the warehouse; the pirates occupying that half, accordingly, became a secondary concern. The loading crane coming unmoored with an explosion and falling to the floor with a hideous crash was concerning - almost distracting - but ultimately of no consequence; he could safely ignore it, as it had landed on no one and nothing important.

The pirates in front of him didn’t realize this, and flinched, looking back over their shoulders. He seized the opportunity and sliced the barrels off their weapons before throwing them back against a cargo pod with a gesture, where they passed into unconsciousness and out of the fight. One of them had managed to pull the trigger before his saber ruined his gun; the bolt blazed a trail past his temple and nearly singed off his topknot, but aside from some lingering heat on the side of his face, he was otherwise okay.

Sidestepping to the right, Kelto next leapt the vertical meters up to the gantryway above, cresting the railing with a kick that caught a waiting sniper in the jaw and sent him sprawling over the side. The thump that he made when he hit the floor was a curiosity; equally unimportant, in the scheme of things, as the fallen loading arm. He duly discarded the thought.

Men shooting at him on his side of the catwalks? Immediate threat - he deflected their shots back at them in turn. Sskeer joining him on the upper level, opposite side, similarly engaged, carving through the opposition with his usual intensity? Important situational note - make an effort to link up as soon as possible.

A heavy repeater being wheeled out on a repulsorpad from behind a heavy warehouse door on their level?

Well, details like that tended to... confuse his ordering system, just a little.

“SSKEER!”, he shouted, pirouetting back towards a tall, thick support column. “E-WEB! E-WEB!”

Glancing, Sskeer saw - and jumped out of the line of fire just before the blaster cannon opened up. The warehouse rang from floor to ceiling with the staccato drone of its report as the dreadful weapon poured its destructive firepower into the Trandoshan’s general location; it pounded Kelto’s ears as he watched, heart in his throat, as Sskeer scrambled for cover.

The cannon’s operator must have been a genius among smugglers, for instead of trying to perforate a target that moved faster than he could aim, he shot the catwalk out from under him. It collapsed with a terrible crash and sent Sskeer spilling down to the floor; he recovered in a rolling crouch as the other gangsters, emboldened, turned all their attention to the fallen Jedi, blasters raised.

His partner was in danger. Intellectually, Kelto knew this should have bothered him. Instead he pushed through the spike of emotion and found his discipline again.

Then he went to work.

Darting out from behind the pillar, he sprinted at full tilt past one - two - three snipers on the catwalks, slashing each of them in passing. The cannon operator, he knew, would see him coming - and even now he was orienting the giant gun accordingly. He couldn’t possibly reach the cannon before it found a bead on him - so instead he brought the gun to him.

Kelto skidded to a halt, whipped out a hand, and pulled the mounted cannon towards him; the cannon, a slave to its hoverlift, jerked forward violently, throwing its gunner to the side when he had finished coming along for the ride. Sidestepping the drifting E-Web, Kelto slashed downwards through its barrel in passing, pivoted sharply on his heel, and delivered his booted heel to the pirate’s chin as he attempted to rush him with a vibroknife. The blow knocked him out cold, and Kelto noted with uncharacteristic satisfaction the crack it made when his foot collided with his jaw.

With the gun out of commission, he turned back to the warehouse floor below. He needn’t have worried, he realized; with brutal Trandoshan ferocity, Sskeer had made quick work of the pirates who had made the fatal tactical error of attempting to charge a single lightsaber-wielding opponent. He snarled his way through a final broad slash that sent two more men collapsing to the ground, growling in challenge at any unseen gangsters left bold enough or stupid enough to approach him.

“I got the gun,” Kelto reported, belatedly.

“Very good,” Sskeer called back up. “Lower floor is clear.”

“Was that all of them?”

“I believe so.”

Kelto vaulted the rail and dropped back down to the ground floor, softening his landing with the Force and landing in a crouch. “That’s a pity,” he commented, straightening and padding over to Sskeer. “I was hoping we could resolve this without much loss of life.”

“CSF casualties were low. And we are both still standing.”

“I meant on both sides.”

“Save your pity,” Sskeer sniffed. “If these Outer Rim scum are so low as to murder innocents for smuggled wealth, they deserve just what they got.”

“I suppose,” Kelto shrugged. “But I still feel conflicted.”

“Your compassion does you credit, Kelto. But don’t waste it on those who don’t seek it.”

“I offer it freely. It’s a healer thing.” He reached up to brush the suckers of his fingers against Sskeer’s injured shoulder. “A Jedi thing.”

The Trandoshan grunted, closing his eyes. “I know, I know. My… zeal, sometimes exceeds my beliefs.”

“We’re all the Republic, Sskeer. Even the baddies.”

“Thank you for reminding me.”

Slowly, Sskeer’s fingers reached up to touch Kelto’s where they lingered at his collar, brushing the underside of his cheek.

Then Kelto said, “You don’t think we’re forgetting anything, do you?”

The loadlifter droid crashed through the ceiling, landing on the permacrete with enough force to create a small crater, screeching at them in corrupted Binary.

“Dammit,” Kelto grunted as they ignited their sabers once more. “Dammit dammit dammit.”

“Keep calm. It’s only a droid.”

“I know, I know. Just wishing I hadn’t broken the big gun.”

Then…

Only a few short months of consistent drilling later, and Kelto was already matching Sskeer step for step in the dueling ring. And from the look on his face, he knew it, too.

“Surprised I’m doing so well?” he asked, striking probingly at his opponent’s left and right quarters.

“On the contrary,” Sskeer replied, batting them away. “I couldn’t be prouder. You learn well.”

“I had a good teacher.” Kelto ducked under a first horizontal sweep, and punished the second by needling the point of his lightsaber into the joint of Sskeer’s shoulder; on training setting, it made contact with only an electrical sting. “But not that good, apparently.”

The Trandoshan growled, pacing in a circle and rolling his arm in its socket, working out the pain. “I don’t recognize that move,” he said wonderingly. “That wasn’t Soresu, was it?”

“I’ve been doing some research in my free time. Been looking into the Persistence Form - Shien. Do you know it?”

“Hm. A more aggressive style than what you’re used to.”

“Certain parts of it, yes, I agree. But you were right - you have to cover a good defense with a good offense. There’s no room for clinging to ideology in a real fight -- ”

Kelto flinched suddenly to the right, provoking Sskeer into following him with his guard - then he juked back the opposite direction, capitalizing on the fake-out by swinging his blade into the underside of his wrists.

“But being able to fight isn’t what defines you,” Kelto finished. “What you fight for does.”

“Yesss,” Sskeer rumbled. “Yes. Exactly what I’ve been trying to show you!”

He threw himself into another series of full-power overheads, and grinned widely as Kelto countered each of them in turn. Under locked blades, the Rodian beamed back at him.

“Though I can’t help but notice that this revelation comes after a steady string of losses,” the Guardian snorted.

“Every failure is an opportunity to learn,” Kelto replied smoothly. “And I’ve learned enough to finally beat you.”

“Then prove it,” Sskeer demanded.

“You know -- I think I will.”

And then it was Kelto who broke the block, with enough force to send Sskeer staggering back a half step; and when Sskeer attempted to counter with an overhead chop, he sidestepped the stroke before it arrived and leapt, corkscrewing up the air and planting himself on Sskeer’s shoulderblades, pushing hard through the balls of his feet. The Trandoshan grunted with the extra weight, wobbling fatefully on his feet before finally tipping and falling face first to the padded floor, saber jarring from his grasp on impact.

One foot on the small of Sskeer’s back and the other on the thick slope of his shoulders, Kelto lowered the edge of his blade to rest against his opponent’s neck. “And done,” he smirked.

From the floor, Sskeer glared - and then began to laugh. A deep, resonant sound, from the pit of his throat. “Well done, little healer. It seems your training is complete.”

“The student becomes the master,” the Rodian preened.

“Indeed. Let me up now, so I can congratulate you properly.”

Extinguishing his blade, Kelto said thoughtfully, “I don’t know - I worked pretty hard for this. Feel like I’ve earned the right to rub it in a little, don’t you?” And so even as he was stepping off of Sskeer’s back, he was plunking himself down to sit upon the curve of the Trandoshan’s spine.

“Urk-!”

“Oh, yes,” Kelto giggled. “That sound just made it all totally worth it.”

Sskeer glared at him warmly as he straightened up onto his elbows. “You are lucky to be pulling this juvenile nonsense on me and not someone like Master Engle.”

“After the protracted thrashing I just took, you’re lucky you’re still with me at all!”

He chuckled at that, softening. “I am, aren’t I.”

“And don’t you forget it, mister.” Kelto tapped the emitter of his lightsaber against his temple to underline the point. Then he stood, and offered his hand. “C’mon, up and at ‘em. Let’s go again.”

The disparity in their sizes and masses meant that Sskeer ended up doing most of the work of standing up. “Again? I thought your training was through.”

“My training. Now I help you work on your defense.”

“Ah, of course. How unexpectedly generous of you, ‘Master’ Lem.”

“Not generous at all. I plan on giving as good as I got.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

Smiling at each other, they folded their arms and bowed.

“Now look - it’s not so much about where you put your blade as where you put your feet, see? Watch…”

Now…

The loadlifter must have attempted to break through the police line; it was the only way to explain the amount of carbon scoring pitting its chassis. But the CSF’s sidearms had clearly failed to stop the berserk droid; if anything, they had only made it angrier.

The Jedi had two things working in their favor. First, the machine’s primary offensive implement, its two massive lifting arms, made its attack pattern slow & easy to predict; second, its sheer mass made it difficult for the droid to attack them with any kind of subtlety or dexterity. This meant much of the incoming danger would be coming from wide sweep attacks, and easily dodged. This was about where their list of advantages ended.

The droid, meanwhile, had been fitted by its criminal masters with heavy hydraulic legs and a microscopically thin layered shell of energy-resistant material - neuranium, perhaps, skimmed from shipments bound for projects related to the Republic’s Great Works initiative? Kelto wasn’t sure, and frankly, right now he didn’t care. Either way it meant their lightsabers weren’t easily cutting through its hide, and it had the speed to match and catch their every maneuver. It was a heavy bruiser, and no mistake.

If this was what they’d managed to cook up right under their noses on Coruscant, imagine what they were up to beyond the frontier?

The machine screeched and rushed them yet again, blitzing across the warehouse at a blistering pace in an attempt to pancake them against the wall. With scant seconds to spare they threw themselves in opposite directions, Kelto landing in a roll and turning sharply; the machine, split between two targets, chose to pursue Sskeer.

It shattered the ground around it with its huge fists, apelike bashing aimed at squashing the Trandoshan into the floor. Sskeer moved with a deftness that belied his own size; his feet carried him out of or around the rapidly-shifting crush zone with supreme economy of motion and exertion, and above them, his body shifted minutely to maximize his effective positioning. His arms, meanwhile, slashed and jabbed at the droid’s reinforced chassis with his lightsaber, creating trails of shallow gouges in the metal where his blade had passed.

Watching from the sidelines, Kelto almost wanted to cheer him on. Then the droid caught Sskeer in the gut with a side-swipe and sent him flying into the far wall.

His focus remained on Sskeer, sitting in his own impact crater, long enough to see his chest heave; he was badly shaken, possibly stunned, but still alive. Then his attention shifted back to the droid, which had taken its first step towards finishing the job.

The cowling around its shoulder joint had come loose. Not by much - but perhaps just enough.

Kelto charged. Sliding under a wild reactive swipe, he rolled to his feet and thrust the tip of his saber upwards, straight into the chink in the droid’s armor. In attempting to pull away, the droid inadvertently drew the unprotected coupling which lay beneath its shell across the edge of the energy blade, and the limb fell away lifelessly. It screamed in Binary, orienting to smash the offending Jedi with its other arm, but Kelto jump-flipped up and over its shoulder, shearing away the linkages connecting its armored collar to its vulnerable neck.

“Sskeer!”, he cried, landing as the armor segments clattered to the floor. “Now!”

The loadlifter reared back for one last overhead smash. It never got the chance to deliver the blow. Behind it, Sskeer bounded across the floor and sprang into a corkscrewing leap which carried his blade into position to strike the droid’s head from its shoulders. He executed the wayward machine with a roar.

The head landed with a dull clang and a dwindling electric whine; the rest of the body shuddered and ground to a complete halt, like a grotesque junkyard statue. The same could not be said for Sskeer, who came down heavily to his hands and knees upon returning to earth.

“Sskeer!” Kelto rushed to catch him, dropping his lightsaber and pushing him back up straight by his shoulders. “Are you alright?!”

“Y-yes,” Sskeer hissed. He clutched his head in one clawed hand and screwed his eyes shut, still sitting on his haunches. “I’m alright, it’s only -- nng-- a concussion, perhaps.”

“Sure you don’t want that stim now?”

“I’ve… reconsidered.”

Obligingly, Kelto injected him with an ampoule of kolto - and one more for good measure. Soon enough, Sskeer could see clearly again, though the ringing pain in his head still remained. The blaster wound, though, had almost completely closed over.

“Nice footwork back there,” Kelto murmured with a smile, massaging his uninjured shoulder. “Good placement, good tempo - ever consider taking up tap dancing? You’ve sure got the rhythm for it.”

“They don’t make patent synthleather in Trandoshan sizes.”

“Hey, you gotta have something to fall back on in case this Jedi thing falls through.”

Wearily, Sskeer met his eyes, grumbling in his throat. “Always the joker,” he said, tipping the underside of the Rodian’s jaw with his knuckle. Then he stood, groaning. “We should inform the police the situation is contained.”

Kelto tucked himself under his arm, half-carrying his weight across his shoulders - well, more like quarter-carrying. “Not bad for my first big patrol, huh?”

“You were more than capable. In some places, you surpassed even myself.” Sskeer slid his hand back to rest on the closer of Kelto’s shoulders. “As I said you would, if you trusted yourself to.”

“Ah, you’re just saying that.”

Sskeer stopped him in his tracks so he’d know he was being serious. “You would have made a fine Jedi Guardian, Kelto Lem. And should you ever desire such a path, I would be honored to walk it with you.”

He stared up at him, bug-eyed. “You… really mean that?”, he asked quietly.

Sskeer shrugged. “Consider it something to fall back on, in case being a healer doesn’t work out.”

“And I thought I was the joker around here,” Kelto snorted, as they left the ruined warehouse behind.

#StarWarsOCShipWeek2021 #star wars #high republic #sskeer #original character #oc x canon #fanfic

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putflowersinmyhair-callmepretty · 4 years ago

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The fate of a nun (Finan xOFC); part 4

GENERAL A/N: Hi there! This story is my first attempt to write a fanfiction. English is not my first language, so feel free to let me know how to improve my writing/language skills 😊 I will try and post a chapter per week, let’s see how it goes! The story takes place in season 3 and you will notice that I have used some of the sequences and dialogues from the tv series, changing them to include my OC. I did try not to be too colloquial and informal with my writing -giving the time of the story- but I preferred to make it more enjoyable than realistic, same goes for Finan’s accent.

I’m nervous and excited to share my work, hope you enjoy! Bacini, Cate.

A/N:Hi there, sorry I didn’t post last week, classes are killing me! Finan is a lil dick here, but Aoife is developing in such a great woman, I love her. Hope you enjoyyyy. Baciotti, Cate.

Summary: The life of the young novice Aoife completely changes when the Lady of Mercia arrives to the Abbey of Wincelcumb. Oaths, battles and love will turn her in a warrior.

General warnings: Violence, Blood, Strong Language, Smut, Fluff, Graphic description of violence

Chapter’s warning: Angst, strong language and I think that’s it? Let me know if you think there’s more! Words: 3426 Chapter Three.

Chapter Four: Iron and Water

Finan’s sadness had soon turned into anger and he was now spending most of the day striking the air with his sword. The rest of his time was spent drinking in the alehouse. He was looking, to put it in the kindest way possible, miserable. His hair and beard had grown out of control and it looked like he hadn’t washed since the Dane had left. His vest was stained with ale and food, and all the women, that once had fought for his attention, were keeping their distance. Aoife hadn’t spoken with him after the day Sithric had left, and the violent beating of her heart while he held her hand was just a pale memory. The day after, he couldn’t even watch her in the eyes, and she had felt ashamed of her weakness, and a fool for letting it affect her as it was. She had just consoled him, that was it. She could not hide, however, that she already missed his quick remarks and the small yet joyful smile he reserved to her. And even more than that, she was concerned with his health – all that ale could not be good for anyone – and angry with him for failing to comply what Uthred had asked him to do: protect the Lady of Mercia. A person cannot feel all those emotions and remain sane, of course, and she was spending her nights laying in bed sleepless. Days were passing by and Finan was looking worse and worse, often drunk, cranky and lonely constantly. Aoife was spending her time assisting either Osferth or Aethelflaed and their combined insistence had persuaded her to deal with the warrior. She had expressed her desire to improve her fighting skills and they had affirmed more than once that no one could help her better than Finan. They could not care less about her abilities with the sword, they just wanted the two to spend more time together, they were shamelessly hoping for them to be a couple. “No one can teach better than him. If I know how to use a sword is all thanks to him.” Osferth said out one morning, while him, Aoife and Aethelflaed were eating in the hall. It was a weirdly domestic picture. They had, somehow, become a group of some sort and Aoife was happy and proud of Aethelflaed, threating her stepbrother not only with respect but also as a friend. It eased her mind. “You almost died in the last battle.” Aoife pointed out. “But I did not, did I?” “Also, he needs to take his mind off Sithric.” the Lady interrupted, she knew they could go on for hours without her intervention; she wanted to be clear with her, sure that it was the only way to convince her. Also, she was fearing for the warrior sanity, she had grown fond of him with time, and she could not think of a better way to help him and, as a consequence, help Uthred “And you are the only one he might listen to.” “And if not, you will force him to.” Minutes later, Aoife was walking down to the alehouse, weapons swinging around her waist. She loved the weight of the iron against her tights, it sent shivers down her spine for the excitement. It wasn’t hard to find Finan. He was drunk of course, passed out on the table. The maid of the alehouse was watching him, half in pity and half in disgust. Aoife could not blame her, she too felt the bile to the throat when she walked close enough to smell him. Really, it was disgusting, but it was also pitiful. She was surprise by how much the situation had affected him, never would she have imagined for a warrior to feel so deeply about any kind of situation. Somehow, it made her fonder of him. The maid noticed Aoife and smiled at her “You’re here to take care of him?” “I mean, I’ll try!” Aoife answered with a laugh and the girl giggled, stepping aside gracefully to let her sit in front of Finan. The warrior had fallen asleep soundly with his cheek against the table and his mouth agape. She huffed heavily and grabbed the almost empty jug of ale. The cold woke him up abruptly. He grasped for air, waving his arms trying to grab something and his fingers closed around nothing. He felt backward, overturning the bench in the process. “Sweet Jesus Christ!” he shouted, all wet in beer. The maid was laughing and, while she too found the scene particularly amusing, Aoife could not help but watch him in disgust, leaning against the back of the chair with her arms crossed. He stood up with difficulty, spatting and cursing ì and stumping his feet like a child, grunting for minutes. “You done? My patience is running thin.” Aoife said, no emotion in her voice. The Irishman watched her in disbelief, sitting down with a thud “Leave me alone, woman.” he croaked, head in hands, he clearly did not feel like talking. She huffed again, angry with that man who had let go of his life so easily; she stood up and, grabbing him by the hair, pulled his head backwards to make him look at her. “Stop being an arseling. Uthred had asked you to look after the Lady and you have done nothing but drink and cry over yourself. You will sober up and clean and stop being such a little boy. Have I been clear?” He looked at her, initially speechless, then a vein popped up on his neck and he put his fist through the table “You don’t know what it means to spend every day with a person only for them to leave you forever.” The maid run away, scared of a possible scuffle, but Aoife didn’t even notice her. She was seeing red and she would gladly put his head through the wood next to his fist. However, she prayed God to give her patience, she tightened her arms against her chest and sat back, straighter than before. “The woman who raised me was struck by a spear in front of my eyes.” She replied coldly “I can imagine the pain.” Finan finally watched her and at least he had the decency to look mortified, Aoife was ashamed, she did not want him to pity her. She did not want no one to pity her. “I apologise, lady” he grunted quietly, and she knew that he could see that her eyes had watered. She couldn’t stand it and gestured him to just let it go. “Listen, I’m not here to compete on who’s the most miserable. I need your help.” *** He had unwillingly followed her to the stream. His head was throbbing, his entire body hurting, and he just wanted to sleep. However, Aoife had other plans and pushed him in the cold water with all his clothes on. Partly it was to sober him up, partly because his smell was unbearable and partly because she was still angry with him and it was the most Christian think to do to avoid killing him with her bare hands. It was a shock for his body, and he felt like drowning for the first few moments, but when his mind started clearing up, he stood up easily, yet shivering. He felt like a fool. It was winter, after all, and it was a miracle that the surface of the stream had not frozen yet. It would soon, though, Finan could tell. Aoife was on the bank, arms crossed and that obnoxious angry expression on her pretty face, she did crack a smile, however, when he stumbled on his feet, trying to get out of the water and felt face first. “Do not laugh at me, woman.” he growled, but he was happy to please her “It’s bloody freezing”.” “Wash yourself out, warrior.” she shouted, now laughing openly “I shall come back with some clean clothes.” And as fast as she talked, she left. Finan watched her walking away, taking her time doing so, and even if he was shivering, he stood still, admiring her young body moving so sweetly. Unholy thoughts filled his mind, and he groaned, ashamed and drunk, and fell again under the water. She had to ask Osferth for help in looking for Finan’s clothes. When the monk closed the door of the Irishman’s room on her face, she rolled her eyes and pouted, she was looking forward to take a peek of his private life and his belongings and her friend was playing with her. Osferth was soon out with an armful of clothes and she thanks him, already running back to the river, not wanting Finan to freeze in the water. When she saw him, however, she halted suddenly. He had stripped down and was facing away from her, his naked body in full display. He was too far for her to have a good look at his back, which even from distance seemed muscly and sprinkled with scars. He had the broadest shoulders she had ever seen and only then she came to the realization that she had never seen a naked man before. God knew she was enjoying the view and He could easily read the unholy instincts she was drawn to. Anyone could guess them, just looking at her face. She knew she was sinning, but she could not push herself to care about it; again, she would renounce to heaven for Finan without hesitation. If it did not show how weak her will was, she could not imagine what would. Then he turned around and she completely forgot about her sins and will. The water was covering him just above his hips, his flat stomach and tonic chest in full display for her delight. She had never wanted anything more than to run her fingers on his skin and savour it with her lips and the tip of her tongue and her teeth; and then embrace him and kiss him like she had never kissed Sir Cenric, their body becoming one and her clothes dropping at her feet and his fingers dipping in her skin, her nude flesh, her soul. Sinner. She felt her cheeks warm up and quickly turned her back to him; it was too late, however, he had already caught her watching and was now smirking. The cold water had sobered him up and he was thinking straight for the first time in days, as straight as he could think with the pretty lady staring at him with lust corrupting her otherwise innocent features. He laughed lightly when she turned her back to him, she was not fast enough for him not to catch a glimpse of the red spreading on her skin. He was grateful for her, his Aoife, awkwardly standing on the bank, amusing him enough to let him forget Sithric’s betrayal and his shame for his behaviour of the last few days, even if just for a moment. Aoife heard him walk out of the water and she turned around, covering her eyes with a hand. It was her way to try and save the appearance, to not give him the pleasure of knowing that she liked what he had to offer. She was not ready for the mockery, not in that specific context. Of course, it was all in vain. “You can watch, I don’t mind.” he laughed, and she threw the clothes straight on his face, making him laugh even harder. She had to admit that she had missed that barking and the way his eyes crinkled when he was happy. “Be quiet and dress up.” she mumbled embarrassed, but she was smiling and wasn’t even trying to hide it. Her anger had been gone as fast as a sneeze; he had an alarming power over her emotions. She thought she could die for the shame when he pulled his tunic over his head mumbling “I do love to be admired.” “Stop staring at me, warrior.” They were walking back to Saltwic, side by side, their knuckles brushing lightly; he could not take his eyes off her and she was trying hard not to look back at him that her neck was hurting. “Then look at me, lady.” he mumbled through a smile, and his hand brushed harder against hers. Something in his voice, made her obey swiftly. She raised her chin just enough to meet his gaze and her lips unintentionally curved up in a wider smile. He smiled back and caught a strand of her hair between his finger “I haven’t told you how pretty you look, dressed as a true warrior.” “You really need to learn how to be quiet.” she mumbled, still smiling “But that brings us to what I need you for.” she stand straighter “I need to improve my fighting skills and I need for you to help me.” He leant against a tree, his smile even wider then before “And how am I to be rewarded for my help?” She rolled her eyes, trying to appear as if his words hadn’t affected her, but she was blushing “What do you expect for me to answer, Finan?” “I have a couple of things in mind.” “With silver, man. Silver.” He tilted his head “I am only playing with you, Aoife. Of course, I will help you.” “Raise your arm, Aoife! Higher!” Finan shouted. He was sat on the fence just outside the estate with Osferth and Aethelflaed, watching and enjoying Aoife beating up a young warrior, Betlic. There wasn’t much to do in Saltwic, so the other warriors had clustered around them, searching some type of amusement. Aoife was having fun, beating Betlic with a wooden sword. She was quite sure that she wouldn’t enjoy it as much in a battle, but Betlic was a patience man and was taking each stroke as a true gentleman. He was also kind enough to stop when Finan shouted his instruction to the lady, and everybody except Aoife seemed to have noticed that he was watching her with enamoured eyes. Wouldn’t she be already smitten with Finan, she would have taken him in consideration; but the reality was that she could not take her eyes off her instructor, and she was losing concentration, stumbling on her own feet and on the blade of her sword. Aethelflaed and Osferth were particularly enjoying their time, their attention divided between Aoife’s clumsy strokes and Finan’s growing jealousy. Every day was the same, he would choose a warrior to fight with Aoife and they would rapidly get flustered by the young, pretty girl; she would be her kind self and laugh with them and ask them if they were all right after every stroke, and each time they would be less shy and more forward with their romancing. She would be oblivious about it and Finan would soon grow frustrated with them and with his own jealousy that he failed to hide; then, at some point he would explode and curse everyone and leave. It was embarrassing for him but amusing for the others and bets begun to be made on how long it would take him to get angry. That day, he exploded, as always and sooner than ever before. He was all red in face and cursed everyone, but he did not leave; he snatched the fake sword out of the young man’s hands and pushed him aside, placing himself right in front of Aoife. “Time to fight.” Watching him now, Aoife could barely remember the miserable man he was just days before, he looked healthy and happy enough; she was no fool, she knew that he was not over the pain yet, but he was coming to terms with Sithric’s betrayal quicker that she would expect and she was smug enough to believe that he was mostly her doing. And it really was, everybody knew that; she was honouring her word to Aethelflaed and Uthred, constantly keeping an eye on the Lady, she had taken care of Osferth, assisting him in his recover, and she had also kept Finan’s during the day, so that he would sleep all night long in his bed and not drown his sorrow in the ale. She was the mother of them all, really. She was still admiring him with her head in the clouds, when Finan hit her on the ribs, hard enough to make her stumble backwards and fall on her bottom. Mud splatted on her clothes and the small crowd around them started laughing. She grew frustrated and embarrassed and she stood up on herself, completely ignoring Finan’s hand. He smirked, playing with his sword “Again.” It was hard to watch, yet incredibly amusing; she fell, once, twice, three times, Finan’s smile growing wider and more arrogant each time. Aoife was covered in mud and her entire body was in pain, but she would not stop, she kept going and falling and going again. “Are you not tired yet?” Finan asked amazed after the umpteenth time. The sun had just started setting, and they had been there since dusk; they were both tired and out of breath. However, Aoife charged him again and without a word; and, as any other time before, Finan blocked her blow without hesitation. This time, though, she was ready. She kicked him in the shin, taking him by surprise; he bended towards the pain and she used his temporary weakness to push him on the mud, face first. She kicked his sword out of his hand and when he turned around and raised his face from the mud, she pointed her blade to his throat. “Yield thee.” She was looking him straight in the eyes with a new confidence, her hand trembling lightly for the effort, but her grip secure and tight. Finan could not disarm her, and he did not want to; she was looking like the angel of vengeance and he would not only surrender to her he would give her his heart and soul. He dropped his head in the mud and closed his eyes “I yield, my lady.” Aoife closed the door of her room behind her back. Aethelflaed had asked her if she wanted company but she had kindly declined. She was tired, and smelt of sweat and mud. Her entire body was aching. She was also torn; invaded by contradictory emotions. She was happy for the progress she was making with the sword, amused every time she thought about Finan all covered in mud and proud of defeating him. And yet, at the same time, she felt miserable. Every step she was doing towards her warrior life and the achievement of her long-aspired dream was a step away from her past, her nun life. Since she had left Wincelcumb she had yet to find a moment for herself, to mourn the death of the Abbess and address that dark place in her soul where she hid the memory of the lifeless eyes of that Dane and the pleasure she felt in killing a human being. She had spent all her time taking care of other people, and now that she thought about it, she came to the realisation that it was not only her will to help, it was also a way to escape the dark corners of her mind. And now, she was alone with them. She kneeled on the hard, cold stone floor and prayed, while tears streamed down her face; she prayed for God to forgive her young soul, not for the kill – that was necessary – but for the pleasure that came with it, that feeling of almightiness that was nothing more than human arrogance. She mourned the loss of the mother she had no memories of and the Mother that had raised her, she asked for forgiveness for abandoning her Sisters in a time of grief and shock. She cried because she was forgetting her former life quickly and she was not missing it. At some point in her prayers, she felt as a weight was lifted from her shoulders; a ray of sun entered through a hole in the wall and caressed her face, and she felt free. Somehow, she felt that it was the Abbess, forgiving and protecting her from the heavens and her mourning become smiles and her smiles laughs. It was the closure her heart needed and washing herself from the mud felt like a rebirth. She was ready now. Chapter Five.

#finan #fanfiction #fanfic #finan the agile #the last kingdom finan #tlk #tlk finan #finan x oc #The Last Kingdom #uthred #Aethelflaed #osferth #sithric #the last kingdom fic #the last kingdom finan fic #uthred ragnarsson

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musical-chick-13 · 4 years ago

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Cersei Lannister for the character ask thing :)

YAY MY ALL-TIME FAVE

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-Um...YES. I’m going to focus on show here because...the books...aren’t finished...SO. Although I do wish the end of the show had focused more on the fallout of her history with Sansa and I do wish she had been afforded a more direct confrontation with Dany, I don’t think I could have ever asked for a better villain. I started watching the show because I was told there was a hot evil lady, and I could never have imagined the utter humanity Lena brought to her or the nuance and clearly-motivated yet realistic complexities afforded to Cersei’s character. I had waited my whole life for some female character any female character to be allowed to be fucked up. To do stupid things and make mistakes and feel ugly/extreme emotions and experience internalized misogyny and have terrible coping mechanisms and be mentally ill in an ugly (as in, not cute/romanticized) way. To keep going out of spite even though she thought there was nothing to keep going for. I saw little glimmers of that early season 1, and those only got better and better as Cersei only got more and more formidable as time went on. I truly am winning the most I love her so much.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-The thing here is that without Cersei, there really is no overarching story. Her relationship with Jaime is what drives the entire plot and Ned’s uncovering of the court’s corruption. Her refusal to have Robert’s child on the throne (or give birth to his child in the first place) is what causes the succession crisis that even makes everyone else’s power plays a possibility. She spurs Sansa’s development from idealistic child to jaded young adult, which is lynchpin of the whole Northern Independence arc that ultimately ends in her being crowned there. And through all of this, she is both ruthless and sympathetic. She has understandable motivations: she is tired of being treated as less-than for being a woman. She feels like her life is meaningless in such a world if she cannot have power. Power is the only way to truly be safe. She wants to protect her children. She wants her father to understand her. She wants to break herself away from her womanhood but she can’t escape it. All of these things enrich the story because they make the watcher/reader ask, “What truly makes someone evil. Is what she’s doing that much worse than what anyone else in this show does? What course of defense does she have by not being an athletic woman who can physically fight? If love makes you do terrible things, is it always a force of good? What do we allow people to get by with in the name of protecting their family? At what point does self-preservation become irredeemably villainous? How do we talk about abuse of power when the people abused are also terrible people who do terrible things?” All of these questions deal with deconstructing the idea of black and white morality, which is, I would argue, the entire point of the series. So she serves that end quite nicely. :)

• What my favorite arc for them is.

Oooh, this is a tricky one. I’m a sucker for anything that allows Cersei to go absolutely feral and I love pain, so probably her fight against the Faith Militant. They try to take absolutely everything from her. She is so blinded by the threat Margaery poses to her family’s and her stability, that she makes a not-too-well-thought-out decision. (You know, like a real person.) She loses her reputation, she gets thrown in prison, her main ally turns on her, and she goes through the Walk of Atonement, which is honestly probably the most painful thing I’ve ever fucking seen. She spends an entire season trying to pick up the pieces and it culminates in the most badass death-to-my-enemies scene I think I’ve ever seen. And to see a character pull themselves back up from the brink of complete ruin? Especially one who is severely depressed and “hysterical”? We love to see it.

• What I think of their ending.

PERFECT BEAUTIFUL AMAZING 10/10 MY GIRL DIED THE LAST QUEEN TO EVER SIT ON THE IRON THRONE DIDN’T GET BRUTALLY MURDERED AND DIED IN THE ARMS OF THE ONLY MAN SHE EVER TRULY WANTED WHO LOVED HER UNCONDITIONALLY GOD FUCKING BLESS

Personal bias aside, Jaime and Cersei were always going to die together. Jaime was never truly “redeemed,” he just became more understood. (Feeling ashamed of being ostracized and generally agreeing some of your actions were bad =/= becoming a good person who breaks ties with every unhealthy or immoral behavior you engage in.) Jaime came back to Cersei because they understand each other. And Cersei recognizes that she is about to truly lose everything. Her family, her power, her empire, her life. But in the end, she realizes that there was one glimmer of good and that she doesn’t have to lose all of those things alone. It’s a humbling, miserable death, but in very many ways it comes the way she always knew it would: at the hands of another woman, and by the side of the man who is such a part of herself that that other woman in question ceases to matter. Her last moments might be because of Daenerys, but they aren’t about her, they’re about Jaime and Cersei. The only two people. Together. Just as they’d always predicted. And then the person responsible for her death doesn’t even get to enjoy it because it came at the price of a complete loss of conscience. My fave not brutally murdered onscreen via betrayal and whose demise is because of someone who ultimately doesn’t even gain that much from her death? Beautiful, I want 500.

Cersei is terrified (which. yeah of course she is.) but she went out knowing that everything she did in her life wasn’t completely meaningless, that her pursuit of safety and security at all costs ultimately ended in someone she loved trying to comfort her. She gains that sense of comfort and self-awareness she always wanted in chasing after power, but not in the way she had ever envisioned. Not because of any specific thing she did or any specific enemy she defeated, not because of a particularly intelligent power play or who her father was or which house she aligned herself with, but simply because she loved someone who loved her and that alone was enough. In her final moments, in a way completely at odds with everything she has ever tried to do, she finally finds acceptance. The tragedy is that she can’t enjoy it longer. What a poetically sad, cathartic, fitting end to her quest for self-preservation.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

She almost, almost makes it to the end. She outlasts the White Walkers (which I think is valid because she was nowhere near the battle, and, ultimately, her primary enemy is her own penchant for self-destruction, in a way most of the other characters’ aren’t). For years she hangs on out of spite, and no human can kill her though many have tried or wanted to. Ultimately, she can’t compete with dragon WMD’s and a crumbling city. She did sort of achieve her objective. No specific person killed her. It took nonhuman entities to succeed at that. Fits in nicely with the “So you got what you wanted but not quite” theme of the series. Obviously I wish that she and Jaime could escape to Pentos with their child and live peacefully forever, but a) they would be hiding forever to prevent the people they’ve harmed (so like...the whole realm) from coming after them which I just don’t think they’d have much patience for, and b) I really don’t think Cersei would ever give up her quest for power and ruling the world because she would never feel safe or like her existence was meaningful otherwise. In order for the story to have anything remotely resembling a peaceful or happy ending for Westeros at large, she has to die. Which makes me very sad because I LOVE HER, but narrative cohesion is also a thing.

#cersei lannister #meta #(is this meta?? idk)#jaime x cersei #got #light of the west and my life #cersei meta

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jaehyunspeachparty · 5 years ago

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daddy jaehyun

iii.xvii. (m)

"Is that you?" Eunbi held out her smartphone and showed you an article from a Korean celebrity magazine. She was a fellow student and you hadn't talked to her very much yet. She was always nice and polite and you once exchanged transcripts. She was very young, maybe 20 years old, like your little sister Mia. "Uhm yes." It was an article about Jaehyun on Return of the Superman and a picture of you was also posted. You try to read about it for a moment, but Eunbi is too excited about it. "Oh my god, I can't believe it. I was wondering all the time why you got a Korean last name. I've always been a fan of NCT. Ahhh Jaehyun and Haechan are ... were .. are my bias." She didn't quite know how to express herself so as not to look disrespectful. "To be honest, I was a little bit sad when I found out that Jaehyun had married you. But ... wow ...you look so beautiful!" She talked and talked and could hardly breathe with excitement. You had never experienced anything like this before. "Hey Eunbi, could you maybe not tell anyone? Almost nobody in the university knows that and I would love it if it stays that way. Can it remain our secret?" At some point it had to come out anyway, but you wanted to have your privacy for as long as possible. "Yes, of course, I promise. I swear!!!!" She smiled and put her books on the table. "Thanks, that's really important to me." You smile kindly and turn a little to her. "I just can't believe it. I'm studying with Miga and Sunoh's mother. I love Return of the Superman. They're both so cute." Now she sat next to you and you found it all very exciting, because you never met someone like that yourself. It was always Jaehyun who gets the reaction. You have deliberately moved away from the media, especially since your miscarriage. "Thank you, yes they are both angels." The thought of your children made your heart warm. "Jaehyun seems to be such a good dad. I'm looking forward to a new episode of Return of the Superman coming out tomorrow." She was delighted, but at that moment Matthew came to you with a female colleague. "Are you talking about Return of the Superman?" You didn't really know her, she was in a higher semester, but she may be a good friend of Matthew's. "Yes. Do you watch the series too?" Eunbi smiled kindly and she was just cute in her way. But the other student laughed contemptuously. "What? No. I'm not looking at how parents sell their children to subordinate themselves to capitalist social structures." You had to cough after this statement and hope that you don't react too obviously. "Oh no, it's cute." Eunbin looked at the other woman in shock and tried to defend you also a little. "What is sweet about it? Let us now congratulate the men that they are finally get to know their children? In reality, women are still forced to stay at home in our society. In addition, how should the children lead a normal life? Especially those of former idols. They are already being put in the spotlight and what will become of them later. Like their parents idols? Are they also sexualized? When does that start? " You don't know what to say, you were simply shocked and couldn't say a word. But you didn't have to say anything because Mathew spoke. "In our pluralistic value system, it goes without saying that such things develop. But I am shocked that such industries still sell women and men, portray them as sex objects. Politics only want to keep us from the real problems with such conversations and everyone who supports this supports capitalism and the restriction of democracy." Eunbi looked at the two in shock. "Why do you put that on a political level? Can't someone just enjoy the music and the entertainment without losing social values?" This sweet soul was not only lovely but also super intelligent. "If you consume and support everything, you promote sexism and political secrecy. Who benefits from all of this?" Slowly this debate was too much for you and you feel more and more uncomfortable. "But that's normal business. I still enjoy their music and admire the work of the groups." Eunbin not only defended you and your husband, but also yourself. "Nevertheless, you support sexism and slavery. We have been fighting for women's rights for years and there we see girls jumping on stage in short skirts. They correspond to an ideal that we are not all. For example, I could not be tattooed." She pulled her sleeve up and she could see that her arm was completely tattooed, but then she pointed to you. "Or it would not be okay to be a bit fatter liker her...” She points to you. “...because a flat stomach and a very thin figure are required." You then had to cough. Apparently no one really noticed that you were pregnant, they just think you have just gained some weight. "Hey, that's going too far." Eubin was really angry now and at this moment you get a message from Jaehyun that he was in front of the university. "I'm sorry, I have to go now, unfortunately." You get up and smile. "Yes me too, I still have to learn." Eubin also got up and you leave the cafe together.

"I hope you don't take what they say seriously." Eunbi looked at you with concern and you both slowly left the campus. "No, I can't take things seriously from people who don't know what they're talking about." You smile and Eunbi seems calm. "And you're not fatter. If then it is me." She looks down at her sadly. Eunbi was a bit firmer and she took it all to heart. "That shouldn't be important. She should never have said a comment anyway." You smile and notice how angry Eunbi is. That's why you're trying to calm her down. When you were in the parking lot, you can already see the car, with darkened glasses, that had your license plate. "Jaehyun is already there, should we take you somewhere?" She was so nice all the time and you wanted to reciprocate. "What? No, no. I live here in a student dorm, that's only a bus station away." She smiled and you see the car door open and Jaehyun get out. "Shall we really not take you home." You wanted to offer it to her, but her eyes suddenly grew big and you feel Jaehyun's hand around your waist. Eunbi squeaked softly, turned stiffly and quickly ran away without saying anything. You had to laugh and turn to Jaehyun. "How are you? How are the two?" He kissed you gently and his hands stroked your stomach. "We're fine. Are you ready to see our babies?" You smile and put your hands over his neck. "I can’t wait any longer." He kissed you again and then you set off.

It was your next big check-up at the gynecologist. It was the next important appointment in which you will now find out whether everything is going according to plan. Since you can feel the little ones, you are now less worried than before. Jaehyun was almost more excited than you. When you were talking to the doctor, he held your hand all the time and you notice how restless he got. When the doctor started the ultrasound examination, he only looked at the screen. And when the gynecologist put the device on your stomach and you could see the two of them moving, you were completely fascinated. "I will now check the umbilical cord, the cervix, the amount of amniotic fluid, the placenta and the organs." She tried to explain everything to you, but you were only focused on the screen. You can feel the babies moving, but seeing it at the same time made you so happy. "I would now start with the 3D / 4D ultrasound. I have to know beforehand whether you want to know the gender or not." She replaced the device and you feel Jaehyun stroking your head. "We don't want to know it." You smile and the doctor immediately noted this in her files. "Okay, I'm starting now." You look at the screen again and you could hardly believe it. First, you could see their little feet. They were so tiny and while one baby was kicking, the other had crossed the little legs. Then the doctor zoomed in on their face. You could already see so much, there were just two little people in you. "Oh is that a dimple?" The calmer baby was now sucking on his thumb and it looked as if there was dimple on the cheek. "Maybe, but it doesn't have to be." The doctor examined everything further, but you don't really get any of it because it felt like a dream. "Imagine they would get your dimples as well as Sunoh." You smile and feel Jaehyun kiss your forehead. When the doctor zoomed out further, you could now see the whole stomach and you can see how close the two were. They lay side by side, head to head. It was incredibly cute. "Mr. and Mrs. Jung, the babies are in perfect condition. Everything seems to be perfect. There are no abnormalities. The babies have a perfect size and weight for twins. We are still waiting for your blood test, but I will only check your Blood sugar and iron level. But the babies are really fine." You were incredibly relieved to hear that. The gynecologist sent you the videos and photos by email and you head back to the car. "I am so relieved that everything is fine." You smile and buckle up. "Me too. I can't wait to show the kids." He looked at you and kissed you. At that moment you just feel happiness.

It was late now, but Johnny had managed to get all the children ready for bed. You were really excited that he had all three under control so well. "And they're in there?" Miga looks at the 3D ultrasound and cannot believe it. She taps your stomach and you can feel how one of the babies reacted to their sister. It's so sad for you that nobody else could feel it. Sunoh also had his hands on your stomach and giggled. "Yeah, they're in Mummie's stomach." Jaehyun stroked his daughter's back and smiled. "Where are you?" She leaned forward and palpated you. "One is here and one is here." You draw along your stomach and Miga was totally thrilled. Her reaction was very different now than it was with Sunoh. But at that time she was still an only child and now she had developed into such a great big sister. "When can they get out?" She continued to ask curiously while Sunoh was already falling asleep in your arms. "It takes a little while, they have to grow a little bit. Now they are too small." This time Jaehyun explained it to her and slowly put her in bed. "Tell them to grow faster. I want to play with them." She giggled and you kiss her. After Miga had also fallen asleep, you two put Sunoh in bed and then goes down to the living room. "Would you like to watch another movie?" You ask your husband, he nodded and you make yourself comfortable on the couch together. You sit in front of him, your shoulder lies on his stomach, so he could stroke your belly. You pull a blanket over yourself because you have already gotten cold and you go through the films that are available. "Hey, can I join too?" Johnny came to you and Jaehyun waved him on the couch. You keep looking and in the end, you agree on a film that Johnny and you thought was good but Jaehyun found a little boring.

Halfway through the movie, you hear a sigh and you know Jaehyun didn't think the movie was great. But you keep watching it when you suddenly feel Jaehyun's fingers a little further down and suddenly under your panties. You press your lips together when he starts massaging your clit under the blanket and you look briefly at Johnny, who was almost asleep. Jaehyun didn't respond at all, just kept looking at the TV. If the feeling gets too intense, you clear your throat to suppress your moaning. But Jaehyun didn't massage you too hard, so you won't get to orgasm right away. In between, he stopped and left you behind. But then he kept starting teasing you again. He then put a finger in you and you feel how needy you already are because your muscles around him contract tightly. You look up at him, but he keeps staring at the television, but at the same time you feel how he put his second finger in you and slowly you can't stand it any longer. "Jaehyun ..." You whisper while he only gives you a kiss on the head in response. He slowly pulled his fingers out of you and starts massaging your clit again. You went crazy, your whole body reacted. It felt like your whole panties were already completely wet. But then suddenly you hear Johnny and you startle for a moment. "Hmm, I think I should go to bed. Good night." He got up, yawned, and then left the living room. You wait until you hear the door that locked. Then you turn around very quickly and sit on Jaehyun's lap. "How can you tease me like this?" You put your hands on his chest and he just grinned. "It's your own fault if you choose such a boring film." He put his hands on the upper side of your thigh and pushed your sweater dress up so that your ass is free. "What if Johnny had noticed?" You start to grind on his middle and you can hardly stand the tension anymore. "That never bothered you in the dorm before." He winked and grabbed your ass. He was right, at that time he had done it often and you both had found it exciting to test limits. "Shit Jaehyun, I need your dick. Now. Inside me." He immediately took off his shirt as you pull his sweatpants down further. His length immediately jumped out and you don't hesitate a second and raise your hips to place it in front of you. Jaehyun put his hand on your ass again and pulled your panties aside with his fingers so that they weren't in the way. You sit down and feel full lust when you have completely absorbed his dick. "Fuck, you make me so hard." Jaehyun groaned and threw his head back. You put your hands on his chest to support yourself and start riding him. The feeling was incredible and you feel how you got closer to your climax. Jaehyun was louder this time too, his moans made it more intense. At some point, he wants more from you. While riding him but throwing your head back. He pushed your dress up so far that your breasts were free. He was playing with your swollen nipples and you feel that your orgasm would come soon. You wanted to lean forward to ride him faster, but when you lean your head forward again, you see someone standing in the room. "JAINA!" You cried out and quickly pulled your dress down. Jaehyun also turned and looked at the little girl who was staring at you with wide eyes. "Shit." Jaehyun swore as you climb down from him. You straighten your dress and walk towards the girl. Then suddenly she started to cry. "Mummy." She was looking for her mother because she missed her and you were so sorry for all of this. "Come on my little one, we're going to your daddy." She rubbed her eyes and nodded.

Slowly you go back to the guest room with her and wake up Johnny, who then takes care of Jaina again. You go up and see Jaehyun waiting for you. "It can't go on like this. We can't do anything in our house anymore. We should enjoy the time before the twins come." You go up to him and kiss him. "It won't be long anymore." You try to calm him down, but Jaehyun was already pissed off. "But it's enough for me now.”

daddy jaehyun masterlist

#jaehyun #daddy jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun jung #nct #nct smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff

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valeptraglia · 4 years ago

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The Chronicles of Narnia: The Battle of Calormen

All rights to C. S. Lewis

Chapter 8: "Bad weather"

With the first weak rays of sun and the cool and salty morning breeze coming from the sea, a squirrel and three mice left Cair Paravel. They would travel north for two days, half the time it would take to the company that would leave the second morning after their departure, unaware to any of this.

This schedule would give them time to get to the dwarves, unnoticed, to let them know of the arrival of the company and keep an eye on the road for any altercation the soldiers might encounter. All this while staying hidden, all the time.

The Kings and Diácano saw them departure from an archway hidden behind large plants near the castle walls. Hoping for the best they turned as soon as they saw the last red feather from the mice's hat disappear in the tall grass near the woods that surrounded part of the castle.

Too many things had to be arranged yet before the company left towards the dwarves. But by the end of day there were fifteen, men and creatures, all volunteers and very skilled warriors of the King's Army. Despite the Erasmus' resistance they concluded that it was for the best if Diácano leaded this mission.

So the rest of the time before their departure he kept Casio, his fellow centaur and second in command, by his side giving him guidelines to follow in his absence.

On the evening before the company's departure Edmund was walking back to his chambers for a quick clean up before supper when he spotted Susan by a window in the dim corridor.

"The weather is changing" stated Susan sensing his presence, not taking her eyes from what she was looking out from the window. He had wanted to talk with his sister since their arrival to the castle two weeks ago but she seemed determined to avoid him.

Edmund came to a stop besides her and look out too from the window. They could see the sea, furious waves crashing on the rocks of the cliffs, dark clouds covering the sky. It had been like this for a few days now that he thought of it. "What do you mean?" he asked her anyways.

She looked at him for a second, thinking her answer and then turned to the window again. "Come on, a monsoon?" she ironically questioned.

"Well, I wouldn't say it is a monsoon, the weather has been quite humid these last few days, it's just a storm probably", he speculated.

But Susan just shook her head, "It's something else, you can feel it too Ed" she nudged him gently "like something is moving in the shadows, slowly stirring and getting ready. Darkness." Although what she was saying was alarming her voice was calm and quiet, her blue eyes never leaving the sea, and her face serene.

They stood in silence while Edmund let this sink in. Indeed, there was something else from the weather itself, but he couldn't put his finger on it, which made him wiry, so he decided to drop that and instead he asked something that was bothering him as much as the freaking weather but it was something he could get an answer about.

"What's going on Su? You seem out of it since we've come to Narnia".

"I thought it was over" she simply said.

"We are not supposed to be here Edmund. We weren't coming back. This was over" her eyes blazed with irritation.

"But aren't you happy to be back? We are in Narnia" Edmund couldn't grasp the idea that his sister was in such discomfort in Narnia. It was impossible for him to imagine.

"Ask yourself this same question once this is over and you are back in your Cambridge room preparing for exams, pretending everything is normal when two days before you were a king" she said bitterly. "Edmund, can't you see? This won't last, soon this will all disappear as if nothing ever happened. And at what cost? This is a war Ed, anything could go wrong, a poor shooting and someone could die".

Edmund's head was spinning, of course he knew the risks but he never actually stopped and thought about them, like he felt safe like those things wouldn't happen to them and at the end they would go back home as and feel sad about living but that's how it was supposed to be. That was the plan.

"How can you go back from an experience so splendid as it is Narnia to England and being no one?" she asked him intently, her eyes were glassy from all the tears threatening to fall down her face, his sister's face showed so much sorrow that he felt the desperate need to hug her, and so he did. He held his sister in his arms while silent tears wet his shirt. He felt so bad for her.

"You are not anyone. Don't say that Su. We love you, you are our sister, that's who you are, and you don't have to pretend to be anyone else. You have us and we have you. Forever. And Narnia leaves within us as long as we keep believing it is." he spoke quietly in her ear trying to soothe her.

Slowly she looked up at him with puffy eyes and a red nose "You promise?"

"Of course. No matter what" he reassured her. She smiled weakly but this time it didn't falter.

They walk silently to their chambers in the west wing and stopped first in her door.

"Thank you Ed. You are becoming a great man and I am very proud of you" she said sincerely touching his hand and then got into her room closing the door behind her, not before saying "I'll see you in a minute for supper. Clean yourself up." This made Edmund smile widely.

As he walked across the corridor to his chamber he couldn't stop thinking about what Susan said, her words resonated in his head. Yes, it was difficult to go back, he struggled a lot to find his place on Earth, but these experiences shaped him as a person, he had learnt so much from Narnia, he was a better person because of it. And not for a minute he doubt about Aslan's choices.

He had done some bad things in the past that still haunted him after years. It was his forever debt. But he tried to mend it every day and it was because of this place that he changed. He would never regret coming to Narnia.

But he never actually thought how this affected his siblings. He assumed going back was hard for all of them and that coming back was the best thing that would ever happen to them. Guess he was wrong. He was aware of Peter's struggle and reluctance the first time, and Lucy's hope, he knew she never gave up, she always saw the possibility of returning but continued on with her life. And Susan, she seemed to have it all figured out, she seemed to be the one who had adapted the fastest. It was true that their siblings had noticed she was a friend of parties and social relationships. Almost in excess. They saw her become materialist, but he never thought there was an underreason for that behavior.

He felt ashamed he didn't realize before. His sister was suffering and none of the siblings had realized that. Consumed in these thoughts he prepared for dinner. He still had a few minutes so he plopped down on the bed. His head was a wheel that wouldn't stop turning and with his eyes closed he lost himself in the madness of his broodings.

And like that Peter found him, sprawled in his bed, ayes closed and his forehead creased.

"You know, I thing you already have wrinkles on your forehead" He joked leaning over the frame door of his chambers.

Edmund sighed heavily "don't you ever knock?" he asked irritably.

"You know I don't. Remember that time I caught you –"he started joking.

"Shut up" Peter always liked to laugh at that incident from when he was younger. And this moment was not the exception as he was snickering from the door.

Seeing as his brother didn't react but stayed laying down with the same worried expression Peter calm himself and closed the door behind him before sitting on the chair next to his bed. "What's got you so worried?"

Edmund turned to face him, his elbow sinking on the mattress as he leaned on it. "I talked to Susan" hearing this Peter straightened in the chair listening carefully "I assume you notice her behavior?" Edmund asked him seeing how his brother seemed so interested.

"Of course I've noticed, I talked about this with Lucy. Wait, should I call her?" he asked standing up.

"Nonono, I'll talk to her later, I don't want to make Susan uncomfortable when she sees the three of us coming together for supper" to which Peter nodded his head in understanding and sat down again. "She's not happy to be here, it is difficult to her to be back, she is struggling with our reality back home. We have to be there for her before she loses her way Peter" he quickly explained.

Peter sat there, his hand on his chin, thinking "Well, I understand. And I am not surprised by this. It was hard for me too, and it is hard now. I am afraid of going back home, and I am afraid to lose one of you here. This is a war after all" to this Edmund opened his eyes in surprised but when he tried to talk Peter cut him off getting up and patting his shoulder "I'll talk to her later Ed. Thanks for telling me. Come on, let's head down for supper".

As they turned in the hallway to the dining room they saw King Erasmus and Bill talking at the entrance and as they approached the wooden doors they could hear Erasmus talking.

"I'm sorry Bill, but not this time. Alright?" he apologized Erasmus while Bill was looking down nodding his head.

"Alright" he sounded disappointed when he spoke.

"Cheer up boy! There are plenty of things to do here equal in importance" Erasmus tried to cheer him up and clapped his back urging him to the dining room while the corner of Bill's mouth quirked up.

They caught up with Erasmus at the wooden door he was looking at Bill's back restlessness.

"All good there?" Peter asked curiously.

Looking at us with a smile he said offhandedly "Oh yes!" but his smiled faltered and he shook his head with apprehension "Bill wants to go with the company to the north, but I am afraid I cannot allow that, it would be irresponsible of me, he is not that experienced as the others" he finally said.

"Well, I agree with that decision, it is an unnecessary risk, he can stay here and train more for what's coming" coincided Peter.

"Exactly, but he is young and excited with all this new things here and all the skills he discovered he has, that I'm afraid he might do something, well, stupid" Erasmus admitted.

Both brothers nodded their heads in understanding.

"Maybe I could train with him" Edmund offered.

"Oh that would be extraordinary!" Erasmus exclaimed "he really respects your abilities Edmund" and smiling broadly he entered the room.

"Is this your way of getting the sister to notice you?" asked Peter quietly with a wink and quickly turns around before Edmund could even answer leaving him rolling his eyes while following suit.

They sat around the table along with Susan, Lucy, Bill, Calantha and Erasmus. They ate dinner quietly making small conversation.

"Bill?" called Edmund casually to the boy who was toying with his food across the table, he looked up at him "I am training tomorrow, would you like to join me? I saw you have a few tricks, maybe we could exchange some moves? I am afraid I'm a little rusty, I could use the practice" he proposed.

Bill's eyes went round and he almost dropped the glass on his plate in his excitement "really? Yes, that would be awesome! Maybe you can teach me how you dodged that soldier the other day? It was amazing!" he really looked like a child on a sweet shop.

"Sure" answered Edmund with a smile, Bill's smile was contagious. Resuming on his dinner he noticed out of the corner of his eye how Lucy was smiling while she watched Bill sitting in front of her, and Edmund knew that little that had to do with his smile being contagious.

"Where is Anne? I haven't seen her all day?" asked Susan suddenly looking around the table, to this question Edmund perked his ears but said nothing continuing to eat his dinner. "Is she alright?"

"Oh yes, she is fine. She is out collecting some herbs with the centaurs, you know tonight's the full moon and all that stuff, apparently what they collect today will be special" said Bill nonchalant.

"Well, let's hope the rain doesn't catch her! This weather is horrible!" Mentioned Calantha and to this comment Susan straightened up and nervously looked out the window at the dark sky. "Everything alright dear?" asked Calantha looking at her with concern.

"Yes" answered Susan, maybe a little too hurried and brightly for anyone to buy it, but no one commented on it.

By the time they left the dining room a few lightnings could be seen in the dark sky.

The next morning the company went north through the mud that the rain from last night had caused.

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missluthorwillseeyounow · 5 years ago

Photo

Pry Open The Cage Bars (You’ll Find Me There)

Saskia x Red Daughter / Supercorp The 100 AU

Father leads her past the cages where dark shapes are huddled. Weapons, that’s what Father says they are. Children taken by the Commander, twisted and broken until there is nothing human left in them.

One of the dark figures in the cages shifts, and Kasnia pauses, her curiosity getting the better of her. She approaches the cage cautiously just as the shadows shift and the dim light reveals a child.

She is smaller than Kasnia, likely younger, and so covered in blood and dirt that it’s almost impossible to tell what color her complexion is. However, Kasnia can see a pair of bright green eyes peering at her from behind matted black curls.

Kasnia doesn’t come closer, afraid of what this ‘weapon’ would do. But she smiles tentatively at the other girl, “Hello.”

The other girl doesn’t respond, and Kasnia wonders if she can speak Trigedasleng. She wonders if the other child can even speak at all. The thought saddens her, and she reaches into her pocket.

Chocolate is her favorite treat, and a rarity. Father so rarely comes to Mt. Weather, but when he does and if he hears Kasnia has been good, he gives her a bar of her favorite chocolate. That makes it even more special to Kasnia.

Carefully, she breaks the chocolate bar in half. When she’s sure the other girl won’t attack her, she reaches through the cage bars and offers half of her chocolate to the little girl in the cage

“It’s my favorite.” Kasnia tells her in Trigedasleng.

“Kasnia!!”

From the end of the dim hallway, Father barks out her name sharply. It startles her, and she drops the chocolate into the dirt inside the cage. “Coming, nontu.”

Kasnia gives the other child an apologetic look before trotting over to Father. He looks at her oddly for a moment, and she shifts uncomfortably under his intense glare. When Father’s back is turned, just before she follows him out the door, she turns and gives the little girl a sad smile and one last little wave.

In the dark of the cages, a small hand picks up the chocolate from the dirt, and green eyes watch the door long after Kasnia leaves.

Basically, this AU was born because Brenda Strong is in both The 100 and Supergirl, and I’m thinking “oh perfect, let’s make Nia Lillian”, so I blame the excellent Miss Strong for this.

This AU actually begins in the Ark. When twins are born in the Ark, one is usually floated, or released into space. It’s considered a necessary measure of survival to conserve oxygen on the Ark, and a warning to those who would keep more than one child.

Twin baby girls are born to Alura and Zor El. To the family, it’s both a blessing and a curse.

Alura, however, refuses to have her second daughter floated, so they built a small capsule that could propel both Zor El and the baby to earth. They have no idea what would be waiting for them there, but it has to be better than the horrible death that she was marked for.

The capsule, by chance, lands in Azgeda territory. Zor El is killed upon impact, but the baby survives.

In Azgeda, Nia is Queen. She rules with an iron fist and maintains power through fear. More than that, she presents herself as a goddess, making her people see her as a diety – someone untouchable and fierce, someone they cannot defy, someone they will kill and die for.

She has two sons, Lex and Roan. Lex was the golden child, and Roan was the screw up

This is younger Lex, because I just cannot see Jon Cryer!Lex as Azgeda

Lex was beginning to come to his own. He had changed his name to Thorul and was amassing a following of Azgeda

He presents himself originally as a sort of rising hero for the Azgeda.

He convinces people that the Azgeda are a wild force of nature that are being restrained by the Coalition that is being forced on them by Lexa. He convinces many of them that they don’t need the Heda.

Queen Nia tolerates this for now because she resents being forced into a treaty with Lexa, and Lex is helping her curry favor with the people, and Nia needs her people on her side. However, she knows they have to stay int he Coalition because its forces are 13 clan-strong and too massive even for the Azgeda to overcome

Not only that, but a problem is threatening her image as a deity. Her husband had a dalliance with a Trikru woman, which resulted in the birth of twin girls. (yeah, this is a little far-fetched, I know, but stay with me)

Nia had her husband killed, and had the mother of his children tracked down and killed too. She had word put out that her husband died in a raid.

Both infants were seized and brought to her. She had them both examined, and found out that one of them was a Nightblood, and the other was not.

Now, Nia already had a Nightblood whom she kept secret in captivity, Ontari. She was trained day and night to be a bloodthirsty psychopath, deliberately isolated from people so she would not develop compassion or loyalty to anyone but her Mistress who fed and clothed her.

So, Nia sent the Nightblood twin, Saskia to be raised in isolation with Ontari. They are kept separately, so that no bond might form between them, and they are pitted against each other to sharpen both their skills.

The other twin, she was going to kill, but Roan stayed her hand before she was able to kill the infant.

“She can be useful to you, my Queen. Your husband is dead, but this, his child, is alive. She will be a symbol of hope for the people. That life is born anew even in Death.”

So the other twin, Lena, is kept in Azgeda with Nia. She’s touted as Nia’s (and her husband’s) daughter, born after her husband’s death, a holy symbol of Nia’s fertility and hope for the future. It adds a Madonna-esque patina to Nia’s image as a fearsome queen-goddess.

Lena grows up in the halls of the Azgeda, with a dominating and controlling Mother, and a brother revered throughout the land as a savior of the Azgeda.

And another brother Roan, who’s rarely home because his mother sends him on scouting missions and assassinations, so he can make himself “useful”

Lena and Roan are not close, the Azgeda regard such bonds as weakness. But there’s a sense of kinship between them – the two runts of the litter that Nia barely tolerates.

Lena knows nothing of her own sister, Saskia, held in captivity in the harshest lands of the Azgeda.

Lena’s brothers, though they rarely visit, are her only source of solace from Nia

Lex, who now calls himself Thorul kom Azgeda, brings home a fascinating piece of machinery – something none of the Azgeda have ever seen, let alone know how to operate – and teaches his bright little sister how to use it. Lena takes to it quickly, not knowing that it was given to Lex by the Mountain People, the enemy (whom he has made a deal with)

Roan always brings Lena back some pelt he got one of his hunts, or some shiny new thing he bartered for from the Trikru, or once a dagger he whittled himself.

Both brothers, though, are not any less culpable for Saskia’s fate.

Lex knows exactly where she’s kept. He doesn’t like her – she’s too unpredictable, too insolent to be malleable. He agrees with his mother that a cage is the best place to keep her

Roan doesn’t know where she is, but the knowledge of her existence eats at him, especially whenever he sees Lena.

He’s the one who eventually frees Saskia, and he gets himself exiled for it (but more on that later)

Now, back to the baby in the capsule that landed in Azgeda territory. She was retrieved by some Azgeda and taken to Lex. At that time, he was making a deal with the Mountain People, and he saw his opportunity in this little sky-girl.

He used her as a bargaining chip, and gave her to the Mountain people to study her blood and anatomy, with the caveat that the baby, whom Lex named Kasnia, wouldn’t be killed, and that he would be able to visit her

Lex’s plan was to study her so he could potentially use her as a weapon. He dictated his terms to the Maunon – that she would be raised in isolation, and that only he and a few select carers could visit her. After all, he had seen it work with Ontari, and he wanted to avoid a possible wild card (like Saskia would later become). So he kept her there in Mt. Weather.

Essentially, she was a lab rat for the Maunon, and an experiment for Lex. He kept her occupied and trained her, and made sure he was the only one who treated her gently. The other Maunon soldiers were brusque toward her, but Lex made sure that they never mistreated her, and made sure that Kasnia knew this was because of his influence.

Lex teaches her Trigedasleng and Azgedasleng. He tells her of the might of the Azgeda, and one day, she hopes to join them.

Saskia and Kasnia met once, when they’re around 8 or 9, before the truth about them was revealed.

Lex took Kasnia along with him to visit the prison where Saskia was kept. Lex was showing her that “the Commander” was an unjust tyrant, and that she was making weapons of children. Since Lex is trying to challenge Lexa’s power as Commander, even though she was the one who united all 12 clans

(see the scene above the cut for Saskia and Kasnia’s first meeting)

Kasnia is so full of questions for Lex about “the little girl in the cage” when they get back to Mt. Weather, and tells him about how she wishes she could see her again, and help her, and be friends with her

And Lex sees that his plan is not going as he’d hoped.

He accuses Kasnia of being “too soft”

“I thought you would be different. I thought I was raising you to be strong, but I see now that your heart is weak too.”

Kasnia’s eyes widen and she suddenly feels her heart drop. She’s disappointed him. “No, nontu! I’m not weak. I am strong like the Azgeda, let me prove it!”

“But you are not Azgeda, yongon. You are not of the earth, but of the skies. You are not like us. Others will seek to use you as a weapon, as a specimen, but I am raising you to be strong, to be a warrior.”

Lex eyes her steadily. “That little girl in the cage is dead now. She was far too broken. The Commander and her people broke her long before you met her. I am raising you to be a strong warrior, so that you may fight against the Commander. So that this will never happen again. So that no other child can be hurt again"

Kasnia’s eyes fill with tears. She wants to cry for the caged little girl, now dead. But she knows Father would take tears as weakness, so she balls her hands into tight, determined little fists instead. “I will be strong, nontu. I will make sure they can never hurt another again!”

Saskia, on the other hand, is still very much alive. And very much enamored.

When Roan frees her from the cages, he delivers her to Lexa so she can be safe with the other Natblida. (this is one of the reasons why Lexa somewhat trusts Roan)

When Saskia’s identity is revealed, it creates an uproar, because tradition demands that Nia be killed for daring to keep a Natblida secret from the Heda

But Lexa wants to keep the Azgeda within the Coalition, and Nia knows that Lexa can wipe her out with the Coalition’s combined forces

So to avoid compromising herself, Nia shifts the blame onto Roan

She spins the tale of Roan discovering that his newborn sister was a Natblida, and stealing her from his Mother and telling her the baby was dead

And Lexa, knowing that this is the only way they can avoid bloodshed between Azgeda and the rest of the Coalition, publicly accepts this story, denouncing Roan

This is why Roan is banished from the Coalition. For his mother, it was punishment for disobeying her and for Lexa, it was a compromise to avoid bloodshed

It’s also why Roan hates Lexa. On the one hand, he understands it. On the other, now he’s banished because of her

Saskia was never a sociopath like Ontari, but she has to relearn how to trust and develop bonds with other people

Lexa is one of the first people she opens up to. She rises through the ranks of the Natblida very rapidly, and she quickly becomes Lexa’s favorite.

Saskia’s compassionate nature begins to come out, with the help of the other Nightbloods

It’s not an easy or a quick process, and it comes with so many trials, but two years afterward, she becomes the Commander’s Second

(This is around the time of the show’s timeline)

She tells Lexa about the meeting

"There was a little girl, Heda. I met her before I met you. Before the Skaikru came. When I was still in the Cage."

They are in Lexa’s quarters where Lexa is teaching Saskia to read. It’s one of Saskia’s favorite things, reading. There are so few books left in the Grounders’ collection after the nuclear war, and Saskia has been so deprived of knowledge that she has all but devoured Lexa’s collection of books.

"She looked like…. Like one of those creatures you showed me in that one book, the beautiful ones with wings. What are they called, angles?”

Lexa smiles softly. “Angels.”

“Sha, Heda,” Saskia nods vigorously. “She looked like an angel. The guards at the Cage talked among themselves about her, the little girl who came from the Sky. Her eyes were so blue like the sky, Heda, that I believed them."

When the Skaikru came down, Lex realized that there were more of them

Lex thought that Kasnia wasn’t actually special and therefore was of no use to him, so he abandoned her in Azgeda territory to die. She grows up feral in Azgeda territory, using the skills Lex taught her to survive until adulthood.

Kasnia believes that Lex died at the hands of the Commander and that’s why he didn’t come for her.

She grows older and stronger, vowing to take revenge on "The Commander” for Lex, for that little girl in the cage who died

The rest of the world has no idea she even exists. The Mountain has fallen. Outside of the Mountain People and Lex, no one knew about Kasnia.

The only other person who saw her was Saskia – when she was a feral prisoner who was shown a small but unforgettable act of kindness by a little girl with golden hair and sky-colored eyes

And there is only one other little girl with gold hair and blue eyes.

Kara and the other Skaikru are eventually integrated into the Grounder culture

Upon Queen Nia’s death at Lexa’s hand, the whole Azgeda clan is thrown into chaos. Lex refuses to bow down to Roan, refuses to acknowledge the Commander’s authority and attempts to take the capital. His attack is foiled with the help of the Skaikru, and he is badly injured by a bomb built by Clark, who is one of the engineers from the Ark. He is taken in by some of his followers (maybe Mercy and Otis), and kept in secret.

For their aid in thwarting Lex, the Skaikru are integrated into the Coalition as the thirteenth clan. With Saskia, Lena and Kara all in Polis at the time, the three girls meet and become friends.

Saskia, seeing her golden-haired “angel”, thinks she’s the same girl who gave her the chocolate.

Except Kara doesn’t remember her.

Kara is enamored by Lena. And Lena, who shares Saskia’s face, is equally enamored by Kara.

Saskia sees this all clearly. They never turn her away or make her feel unwelcome, but the two of them seem to have their own world together that Saskia cannot penetrate, even as they grow older.

Lena eventually has to return with Roan to the Azgeda. Kara stays with the Skaikru, and Saskia stays within Polis to continue her training for when she succeeds Lexa

She rarely sees Kara, but Saskia holds her in her heart as that little girl who showed her the first glimpse of kindness, the first person who taught her that hope was a possibility for someone like her

Even if Kara doesn’t remember it, Saskia does, and she holds it in her heart for both of them.

But Saskia is the Commander now, and there is no place for love in her future. Only duty.

And more than that, she sees how Kara looks at Lena, and how Lena looks back at her. Kara has never looked at Saskia like that. And even though they have the same face, Kara always knows the difference between them. She always knows Lena.

So Saskia distances herself more from Kara. There are greater things expected of her as the new Commander.

It’s for the best, because Saskia knows Kara will never hold her in her heart the way she does Lena.

In the meantime, something stirs in the borders of the Azgeda. A creature that moves with the grace and speed of a deadly silver Snowbird flits between the trees, stealing livestock and supplies, moving south.

Kasnia travels to Polis and begins reconnaissance on The Commander. She’s very careful to keep her distance, to avoid detection. She catches only glimpses of this woman who has been the cause of so much pain and suffering, who took Kasnia’s nontu away from her. But glimpses are enough.

This dark regal figure pretends at nobility when the sword at her hip is stained with the blood of so many.

Kasnia hates her.

Except sharp green eyes catch sight of her (how? She was so careful. She’s a skilled hunter, no prey has ever seen her before she attacks) and Kasnia is pinned by a clear piercing gaze. There is recognition there and perhaps some… confusion?

The din of the public market allows Kasnia to slip away, feeling shaken. It’s not often she has to look her prey in the eye before she kills it.

She decides to lay low, bide her time. The Commander had recognized her somehow (how?) and surely she would be wary and increase security around herself.

Kasnia is so shaken that she doesn’t realize that she’s being followed until she’s on the outskirts of the city. She barely has time to whirl around and drop into a defensive stance when a figure appears from the shadows.

“What are you doing here, Kara?”

___________

By SorrowsFlower

#supercorp #supergirl #the 100 #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #saskia de merindol #red daughter #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #supercorp au #brenda strong #i finally managed to put this down #yeah that's as far as i got #saskia x red daughter #my writing

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

Text

Survey #381

“don’t try to be the one person who has stayed just to say they never left me”

Do you feel bored with your life? Always. Do you miss anyone who was mean to you in the past? I sometimes miss Colleen, but I know it's for the better that we no longer associate with each other. What’s the most weight you’ve ever gained from a medication? I don't know, but a fuck of a lot. Thanks, Abilify. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Do you pray? If yes, to whom? No. What do you miss about high school? Memories with Jason. What do you miss the most about college? Socializing. What was the best date you’ve ever been on? A triple date to an arcade w/ Jason and friends. What’s the last great song you discovered? The most recent one? I don't know, really. Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? Yeah. Don't like what I post, delete me. Have you ever done cocaine? Yikes, no thanks. Do you think you’ll ever get married? Do you want to? I sometimes wonder if I ever will. I'm scared of just continuing to be an unemployed leech that is doing nothing significant with her life, in which case it's like, why even be with me romantically. I feel like such a dead end street. I want to get married someday. Who do you care about the most? When it comes down to it, probably my mom. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yeah. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want small gauges, actually. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes, because I hate my body and don't want others to see it. Do you enjoy eating? I wish I didn't. Have you ever ridden in a race car? No. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? No. Do you enjoy history? Not really, no. It bores me. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? I'm just about always in my pjs. Do you value looks or personality more? Personality is way more important. Have you ever changed religions? Yeah. Born Roman Catholic, converted to Christianity when I further understood the differences, then I went to how I am now: I believe in something(s), but I don't quite know what. I wouldn't call myself a Neo-Pagan, but it's what I relate most to. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? I would for like, my wedding. Foo fighters vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers: I'm actually not a big fan of either. Are you a fan of the SAW movies? I don't really watch them. Do you ever forget how old your siblings are? My two immediate sisters, I'm sometimes a year off. All my others, yes. :x Mountain Dew or Sprite? Mountain Dew, of course. I really don't like Sprite now, which is ironic because as a kid, it was my favorite soda. Could you ever give yourself a shot? Yeah. Have you ever worked as a cashier? That was one of my duties when I worked at a dollar store. If you are on birth control that allows you take pills and skip your period, how often do you opt to skip it? How come? My birth control doesn't allow me to skip, but rather, it regulates it. Is there a book series where you loved the first book, but for some reason the other books in the series just didn’t measure up? I can't say that, no, as most series I just kinda fell out of, like The Hunger Games. LOVED the first book, started the second, and even though I was enjoying it, I just stopped for some reason? Are there any stores/restaurants that you would like to shop/eat at, but there aren’t any located near enough to you? Haha yeah, like lots of west coast fast food places like Jack n' the Box or however it's formatted. If you were told by a professional that you were unable to become pregnant, how would that affect you? Is there something important to you about conceiving a biological child rather than adoption? And finally, if you even want to have children, would you choose adoption or surrogacy or would you go on childless? I don't even want kids, so honestly, I'd be stoked if I learned I was infertile. Wouldn't need to worry about the chance of getting pregnant and facing an abortion dilemma. Is there something that you did not used to take seriously, that you either now take seriously or wish that you had in the past (e.g., a relationship that you miss, your education, etc.)? Hm. I don't know. Are there any subjects that you are interested in so much that you would read whole books or academic journals about them? Meerkats, especially. I will read EVERY scientific article about them I find. Are you physically affectionate with your friends? I'm a hugger. When you were in middle school and high school, did you witness a lot of bullying? How did the teachers react to name-calling or violence? Not really, thankfully. Are any of your friends/relatives actually impressive artists or writers? Are you willing to share an example of their work? Yeah. I have a cousin who's really good at drawing, and my sister is a wonderful cake decorator. Do you drink more apple or orange juice? Orange. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your gf/bf? My hypothetical bf/gf, no. Would you ever donate blood? I have before, and I would again if I knew I was hydrated enough and the opportunity was right there. Would you rather drink coffee or tea? Ugh, neither. Do you get easily embarrassed? YES. How long was your longest make out? TMI alert, like all night. If the person who hurt you most said they’re sorry would you believe them? I honestly don't know. Do you have sensitive skin? Very. What color is your mum's car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Do you have a pet fish? Nope. Are you happy with your eye color? I wish they were a more sapphire blue. Solid soap bar or liquid body wash? Absolutely liquid body wash. What color do you want your dream car to be? Baby pink. *-* Do you have more then one favorite band? I say I do, but at the same time I know Ozzy Osbourne will ALWAYS be #1. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? In a relationship. But it's absolutely not something I'm about to force just for the sake of being in one. Would you be really upset if Facebook ceased to exist tomorrow? Nah. Have you or would you try shark meat? No to both. Do you know anyone that's pescatarian? No. Someone I watch on YouTube is, though. Are you shy or over confident around your crushes? Super shy. Do you think the govt. has a cure for cancer, but is hiding it from public? Hell, I think it's very well possible, but I lean more towards for financial hoarding, they simply don't further pursue potential cures that are discovered. I mean, just THINK about all the "future cures" you've read or heard about. It's fucking outrageous. It's all to fuel the medical industry. Okay, tin hat coming off. Last time you drank a diet soda? A very long time ago, because diet soda gives me a massive headache. Was your ex born in America? Only one wasn't. Name your favorite type of music and why. Metal. I for one just like the sound, and I find it very therapeutic when I'm especially mad or sad. Even when I'm in a good mood, I just enjoy it. I also feel that a lot of metal songs tell interesting stories and/or have very poetic lyrics. Do you own or have you read, or thought of reading any self-help books? I haven't, but I've considered it. Can you breakdance? Definitely not. Have you ever read a book and not understood it? If so which one? Yes. We were assigned this one war novel in middle school that was FUCKING AWFUL, like I was checked out the whole time. I don't remember its name or anything. Have you ever watched a movie and not understood it? If so which one? Yes; the Warcraft movie I mentioned in a recent survey. Orcs and their fucking deep-ass voice that I couldn't understand. Do you blowdry your hair? No. Tell me about your dream last night. Omfgggggg y'all. So, there's one invert pet that I've never understood the keeping appeal of, and that's giant centipedes. Their bites are notoriously excruciating, and they are just SO goddamn fast. Well, for some godforsaken reason, I wanted one as a pet. Got one, and it immediately got loose. Guess who wanted to shit herself lmao. Centipedes are very cool, but only from a distance, ya feel? Have you ever stayed in a fancy high-class rich hotel? No. Have you ever stayed in a rent-by-the-hour motel? I don't think so. Describe the worst fight you’ve ever been in whether physical or verbal. I'm not entirely sure about my *worst*, but I know it was with Mom. We've had a few. Have you heated any food in your microwave today? Yeah, a shrimp alfredo Lean Cuisine bowl. Do you own any items of clothing with cartoon characters on them? Yes. Have you ever played Animal Crossing? No, it doesn't seem like my kinda game. Do you own anything (e.g jewelry, accessories) with your initial on it? Yes, but none of which I personally bought because I don't really like them. Do you own any cats or dogs? What are their names? I have a cat named Roman. <3 Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Which? No. Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No. Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? Roman will eat whatever cat food he's given, while Venus, like your average ball python, is a picky eater. Like when I first got her, she wouldn't eat for almost a year because I just couldn't find a method through which she'd accept food. Now she consistently takes frozen/thawed small rats that have actually sat in warm water (versus doing it by hand under running water), and she generally won't strike it unless it's offered to her by tongs, but not dangling by the tail. Picky, picky miss thang. What's your favourite variety of apple? I'm not very particular about flavor so long as the apple is crisp. I canNOT do soft apples. Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? My hair.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''orchids'' by stone sour

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ask-hunterxhunter · 5 years ago

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Scenario question about the yandere adult trio: lets say the s/o and their captor did have sex(reason could be anything from them using it as a tool to escape or Stockholm syndrome) and they manage to escape. What would happen if it turns out that they're pregnant? Would they keep the child or abort it? How woukd the adult trio react to both situations if they ever found out about their pregnancy?

This is one of those delicate subjects that can get heated quite quickly, especially with the wrong kind of people (the “I’m Always Right and Won’t Consider Anything Else” group). I think whether the girl would keep the baby or go with abortion would depend on her.

All I can do is write the possible reactions of the Adult Trio to the three ways one could deal with this: Keeping the child, having the child and giving it to adoption, and aborting.

Illumi

The fact that you escaped at all is already an impressive feat considering the high security and precautions Illumi would place around you once he has kidnapped you. And regarding the sex, there is sadly also the option of you becoming pregnant due to Illumi forcing himself on you, which he might not see as a sexual violence, but rather as him showing his love to you (his thoughts can get that twisted) or thinking that since you’re married/you’re his, there is nothing wrong with this.

After he roams the mansion and its grounds in search of you, growing anxious as he can’t find you and no one else has seen you either, the realization comes: Somehow, you’ve left… His first reaction would be a momentary confusion as he honestly cannot understand this. Not only how you did it, but also why. Why do you keep rejecting him if he took you away from all your previous problems, kept you safe and would give you everything you could want? He is a Zoldyck, there is nothing he cannot give you, so your behaviour makes no sense from his analytical point of view.

He is absolutely unable to accept that you do not love him and that what he did to you is not love. And while he doesn’t comprehend those things to their extent, it also doesn’t even matter as much as him having you.

His next reaction, which comes immediately after he learns of your escape, is set out to get you back. And he won’t spare any sort of effort, sending his most trusted butlers to find you, going after you himself as well and even offering rewards for anyone who has any information about your whereabouts. This man will move Heaven and Hell in order to find you, with a determination that is frankly scary as it serves as a brief window to the level of his obsession.

His “mood” (if it can be called that) during this “mission” changes from angry and hurt to confused and sad, as he feels nothing is right if you’re not there with him (not that anyone would be able to tell) and, surprisingly, he will worry as to whether or not you’re alright. It is not enough to make him understand things from your perspective any better, though. Someone may try to point things out and explain the actual nature of his actions and it will be a waste of time since Illumi has his own twisted logic way of seeing and interpret everything. And it is not as if he doesn’t have some idea. Depending on the level of his obsession, Illumi might not be completely delusional but still believes he knows better, that you’ll love him eventually and that is it. After all, he did feel bad seeing you so unhappy at the Zoldyck estate and his reasoning remained that he could make you happy if you allowed him.

You’re his. Nothing else matters.

While he also thinks about the danger of you telling others about certain secrets of the Zoldyck family, this is actually a secondary issue (probably one of the rare times this happens) and there are times when he feels somewhat personally betrayed by your actions.

You may be careful as much as you can. You may be taking every precaution necessary. You may have changed your name and everything you can.

And then, one night you suddenly don’t feel safe… There is something amiss…

You’re in your new home (for the time being, you’re smarter than staying for long in just one place regardless of your situation), just checking to make sure everything is fine… Until you shiver. Before you can tell whether this is your imagination or not, you hear his voice…

He has found you.

And it’s likely that the people who might have helped you are dead. And Illumi may also kill others, such as your friends and loved ones even if you didn’t get in contact with them. In his mind, this is not only punishment but by making so that you have no one except him is another way to prevent you from trying to leave again.

If you’re still pregnant, Illumi would likely know about it even if you’re not showing it yet, picking up the slightest hints of your behaviour that something has happened. If enough time has passed so the baby could be from someone else, Illumi would demand to know the truth, the cold iron in his manners as he asks you enough to make you tremble.

Not that you would be insane enough to lie about this, knowing how he would react.

His first reaction is a mix of anger and confusion: What were you thinking, leaving like you did and while pregnant? What if something had happened? What if someone had tried to hurt you or “our child”? And how could you do this to him, not only abandoning him but taking his child away as well?

What makes this even more frightening is how Illumi can make all those questions while giving so little emotional signals and keeping his voice as controlled as ever. And the few hints of emotions that seep into his aura are only noticeable because of the time you’ve spent with him, making everything all the more disturbing.

His reaction will be the same if you already had the baby and decided to keep him/her. Against what you may say or do, Illumi will approach the crib (or you, if you’re holding the baby), wanting to see his child.

And in both cases (well, maybe all of them), your reaction has little to no consequence. You may reach your limit and argue about what he did, even yell at him. You may be too frightened to move. You may stand between him and the crib or hold your baby close, motherly instincts stronger than any fear (which may confuse him). It doesn’t matter in the end, at least no more than your protests have ever mattered to Illumi and he will have the same answers of always to whatever you say.

It doesn’t mean your actions will be simply ignored, of course. Illumi might decide to keep you locked in the room you share for a few months for running away (and even if he decides to not punish you physically, it doesn’t mean he won’t have other means) and he won’t like the fact that he missed some months of your pregnancy or, in the second case, the birth of his first child.

But at this precise moment, he will be more focused on how he finally found you and that he is a father. He will hug you close (in the case of pregnancy, touch your belly), whispering the same honeyed poison, of how much he loves you and that now, you’re a family with a child.

Oh, you shouldn’t cry. You shouldn’t worry. He will take care of you and “our child”.

And here you go, back to the gilded cage Illumi made for you…

In the event of you having the child and giving to adoption, the chances of Illumi never finding out are very low even if you were beyond careful and meticulous about the whole ordeal. You can hope, of course… After all, Kikyo has mentioned a few of the “methods” of the Zoldyck Clan when it comes down to raise children and looking at Illumi and his siblings, you can’t bear the idea of subjecting your baby to this life (or worse, risk him/her becoming like Illumi).

And once Illumi finds you, all you can do is pray in your heart that your child will remain free, even if you won’t…

And you better pray Illumi never finds out about the adoption as well.

Since he’ll know about the pregnancy, you may try lying that you suffered a miscarriage or that the baby was stillborn. It’s risky, but if you’re good enough at displaying your pain at being taken by him and the memory of your baby as sorrow for actually losing it, Illumi may fall for it. Again, the chances are low, but they exist. He will be devasted and won’t be above using this as a subtle, guilt-inducing manipulation to try convincing you that you were wrong and shouldn’t ever try leaving him again and so on, but it will be better than him ever knowing the truth.

The thought of your child being somewhere else, free and, hopefully, with a loving family is what may give you strength to endure being back to the Zoldyck’s home and having to bear with Illumi’s obsessive “love”.

Should the truth ever come to light, however… Nothing good will come out of it.

Illumi will be beyond furious that you not only kept this a secret but also actively tried to keep his child away. Once more, he may or may not resort to physical punishments, but he will have ways to make his displeasure known anyway and this man can be creative in his methods. There is no telling for how long this will last, but there will be much guilt-tripping, manipulation attempts and all the while he’ll be whispering how this is for your own good, he is merely teaching you…

Don’t worry… He still loves you.

And he will find your child.

And you know this is a promise he will fulfil. And if he has to kill those in charge of the orphanage or even the adoptive family, it won’t be anything that keeps him awake at night. It is his child, after all.

There will be a time (night or day? After weeks, months? Maybe you don’t know anymore) when Illumi enters your (windowless) room carrying the baby and refusing to hand him/her to you for the first minutes, carving a new fear inside you. Depending on how angry he is, Illumi may not allow you to see the child for a while.

But eventually, he allows you to hold it. And you know what Illumi must have done to get the baby back… And you know what he plans to do, you remember the vicious details you heard of the Zoldyck’s way of raising children…

As Illumi smiles to you, saying how now his family is united, all you can do is swear to do your best to keep your baby safe…

In the event of you deciding to abort… Then you should pray all the more that Illumi will never learn of this. If you thought he was “upset” with you for keeping the pregnancy hidden or furious at you for giving the baby away, it won’t be anything compared to how things will be if he ever learns that you aborted it. This has nothing to deal with any stance on the matter of abortion itself but rather the fact that not only you took such a decision without talking to him (not that he would have agreed) and that it was his child.

It is hard to predict how he will deal with this. This may be enough for Illumi to kill you (many stalkers end up killing their victims, despite how much they claim/believe to love them) or his obsession might still be above it, making him still want to keep you, which doesn’t mean he won’t punish you. And this time, he may be determined to break whatever resistance you might still have if this is what it takes to make you stay and no longer entertaining a similar idea when you get pregnant again. It will take a long time for him to forgive you and as terrible as it sounds, perhaps you should act remorseful, docile, and loving for a while to make your life a little easier.

He will use the abortion as ammunition for guilt-tripping during those times (and being good at manipulation like he is, regardless of your stance on the subject, he may very well succeed) as he works to have a better control over you.

But with those thoughts, Illumi may decide to… “Fix” what you did by getting you pregnant again.

Hisoka

While during the first hours Hisoka may face you escaping as a sort of half-amusing game and be satisfied to see you’re not losing that special spark of yours, it doesn’t mean he will wait much before going after you. And if you manage to elude him for long enough, believe me, said “game” will stop being fun quite soon.

Cat-and-mouse game aside, this doesn’t mean he will take well to the fact that you escaped. As soon as he realizes what happened, his entire being will be mainly focused on getting you back, no matter what it takes. And while Hisoka remains (or appears to) as composed as ever, truth is, the more time passes the more anxious (for lack of a better term) he becomes. While he hunts you down, he will be mentally revising the methods he employed to keep you and perfecting them so you won’t have another chance, as well as planning how to teach you to never try this again.

The specifics for how he decides to go with this will depend on his level of obsession and it can get pretty ugly for you, even if he is not at the point of wanting to completely break you into submission. Again, Hisoka likes that you’re still yourself and not a broken doll, but not that you got away.

Disturbingly, Hisoka may also want to spoil you a bit (after he gets you back and it’s all over and done with), taking some time off the fights to stay with you. It’s like he wants to either make up for the days he wasn’t with you or wanting to show you through such actions how much he missed you. It’s (almost) not so different from the other times he acted like this.

Hisoka is not one to simply give up or chance focus, so no matter how difficult it may seem to find you, he will not stop. This makes every little precaution you take valuable… Remember that when he wants something, he gets it and this is in a “normal” state of mind. After all, it shouldn’t be easy to find Chrollo, let alone join the Spiders, but he did. And you’ve already seen how he can be when you’re involved.

You shouldn’t hope that the time apart will make Hisoka grow out of his yandere-ism. It won’t happen so easily (if ever), so you should know better than ever letting your guard down, no matter if it seems everything is fine for the moment. Your past experience with him may help a little with this point.

Expecting him to regret what he did is more than hopeless: It is nonsense. He may even be already aware of the way he “dealt” with his “feelings” for you, but guess what? Hisoka doesn’t care. Not enough. Oh, he may genuinely want you to be happy and, as he searches for you, be also thinking of ways of making you see that being with him isn’t as bad as you believe and so on, but by the end of the day, he would rather have you unhappy with him than happy without him.

He’s already possessive normally. Add a yandere-state and, well…

One to keep his actual emotions and thoughts to himself, no one can tell what he may be feeling during this time, no better than they would with Illumi (whom, speaking of which, he may contact and ask for a little “help” in finding you). Hisoka’s mood may change depending on what his mind if focusing at the moment… If he finds out exactly how you escaped (whether you just grabbed an opportunity or have been planning it carefully) he may admire your strategy, seeing it as proof that you’re indeed made for him, in a sense, only to become angered that it worked. He may lose his patience with how hard finding you is turning out to be, get somewhat upset (or as close as he can get of sad) as he misses you…

And if there is an opportunity of going “all-out” during a fight to let the steam out, you can bet it will be bloody and cruel. It will help to clear his mind a little, but in the end, it will do very little to actually calm him down for more than a few hours top. It’s not like it was when he was preparing to kidnap you and it may make him even more obsessed with you.

And because you’ve spent enough time with Hisoka to get a better understanding of him than you ever wished for, you know how careful you have to be not only with keeping yourself under the radar but your… “Condition”, as well.

So, change appearance, name, looks, constant moving… Everything that can be done in those situations, you do.

Yet… You may wake up in the middle of the night by a certain, deliberate noise… Or come back home a little late and be assaulted by a strange feeling. As soon as you close the door, you know something is different… As much as not a single object has been touched or misplaced, the house in itself doesn’t feel the same… But by the time you stepped in, it was already too late.

Because there is Hisoka, looking as if nothing had happened, almost as if he is simply a husband waiting for his wife.

An act that would be more convincing act if it weren’t for his eyes.

And at once you realize: He knows.

You won’t ever be able to tell for how long he’s been stalking you (again) if he found out about the pregnancy because he saw you at the doctor or learnt about your exams, and really, does it even matter by this point?

He will just approach you, asking with a smile how it was at the doctor (if you’re coming back home from a check-up) or if you don’t have something you would like to tell him, his tone at the same time cold and playful, the way he sometimes talk to his enemies when provoking them during a fight that he knows he’s already won. As if his presence alone wasn’t enough to make your blood run cold.

And if enough time has passed that he might not be the father, Hisoka will ask for the truth (and might want to confirm it once the baby is born, anyway), though he may draw his own conclusions from observing you once he found you anyway.

If you already had the baby, you may find Hisoka standing next to the crib, watching the child, or even holding it in his arms. And regardless if you react with protective fury or dread at the scene, Hisoka will simply give you that smile of his that means trouble while asking what is the problem of a father being near his child. It’s like he is trying to scare you on purpose (and it is a possibility, this being Hisoka after all).

Fatherhood is not something Hisoka ever gave much thought about, as it always felt like something that is more likely to happen to others rather than him, but once he learns about it, he is strangely glad… And frankly, anxious for the birth/raise the baby. He is/going to be a father! You are/going to be parents!

Shouldn’t you be happy as well?

It should be noted once more that he’s happy about the pregnancy, not that you ran off and once he realizes he likes that he’s going to be a dad, he will be displeased that he missed the first months of pregnancy/life of the baby. And his happiness towards the whole ordeal is like the one of having you back: Twisted at its core. A part of him will see and use this as a chance to make you “understand” how you’re meant to be together and while he may not be at the point of objectifying you or the baby, he will make use of said opportunities offered by the situation.

Don’t even try to lie that you got scared when you found out you were pregnant and this is why you left him (even if this might have played a role, albeit not in the sense that Hisoka may be inferring) if he asks. And don’t expect him to accept whatever reasoning you give him anyway, either. Not that it would surprise you much since by now, you must be used to how Hisoka doesn’t believe in the “if you love them, let them go” idea. He will just smile and say you should know how he can be… Possessive, right?

Now, he would much rather prefer to not have to use his Bungee Gum to bring you along, but if you decide to play rough…

Although he is likely to punish you (the method depending on how obsessed he is and how it is affecting him), Hisoka might not do anything related to the baby, like keeping it away from you and you won’t have to fear him hurting it (though it doesn’t mean you won’t worry anyway), but having him acting as if you’re indeed a happy family might be a torture in itself, especially when he suggests you shouldn’t be so sad. After all, you don’t want your child to worry, right?

If you gave the baby up for adoption, Hisoka may never find out about it if you’re careful enough, keeping the whole pregnancy a secret or be convincing enough when lying that the baby was stillborn. And, frankly, it will be better this way in a sense. While he’ll take you with him again, at least you may take some solace in knowing your child won’t have to grow up in this sort of situation or with someone like Hisoka as a father.

If he does find out about it… Well, things will get complicated.

His emotions regarding the chance of fatherhood aside, the reasons why Hisoka won’t take this well might be more because you not only kept the pregnancy a secret but also outright lied about what happened to the baby. If he’s still unsure of what he thinks of being a father, then his reasons for searching for the child and bringing it back will be more out of selfish reasons than anything else.

He might not even tell you that he’s searching for the baby, pretending to accept your words about not being ready to be a mother, thinking this was for the best, etc. (if he ever talked to you about it, rather than not reveal he knows you lied). He’ll just come to the hotel’s room (or wherever you’re staying for the moment) with the baby in his arms and a smile. Oh, dear, why do you seem so nervous? Aren’t you happy to be reunited with your child?

If you decide to abort and Hisoka finds out about it… It is not easy to say exactly what would happen. Hisoka won’t like that you took a decision that should involve him as well (as if you running away wasn’t enough), but with you no longer pregnant and Hisoka having never given much thought about this sort of thing before, his reaction may not be too angry (such as Illumi’s for example) exactly because he wasn’t involved for starters, and didn’t know about it before. It may sound weird but it can be like learning about something that happened too long ago.

The alternative is also possible: Hisoka may get furious and for more reasons than you doing this without him. While he won’t kill you for this, he will still make his displeasure known, so things will be complicated for you for a good time…

Chrollo

The moment Chrollo realizes you escaped, he will contact the Spiders that are with him (or close enough to wherever you both were staying) and order them to search for you. If they have a job that demands full attention (such as the York Shin case) and his presence is needed to get things done, he will stop it (he knows he wouldn’t be able to concentrate and would jeopardize the whole operation). If not, he will tell them to carry on without him and go after you by himself for now.

While Chrollo keeps a certain line between his personal life and the Troupe (although it’s a very thin one since his life is basically the Spider and its goals), the other members would be warned about the situation and many of them would consider finding you their new mission, either out of loyalty to Chrollo or because they consider this a “breach of security” per say, since you’ve been living so close to their boss. Either way, you have not only Chrollo but also some members of the Troupe (if not all of them) hunting you down as well.

As for Chrollo, he would focus all of his energies in finding you and bringing you back. While his general behaviour remains the same, there would be a fiery determination that would be quite creepy (if you were there to see it). Remember that he may be fully aware of his actions, but he reasons with himself that he doesn’t want to hurt you and that he can make you happy (besides, being who he is, his moral compass is seriously lacking), so while the leader of the Ryodan may admit that he understand why you escaped, it won’t make him accept he should leave you alone (even if you beg him once he finds you again). Especially after being with you for so long, so he will be thinking of means to teach you to not do this again and also how to perfect his methods of keeping you captive. If it means preventing you from running away again, he won’t care for what he has to do, even if he has to keep you inside a cage or something.

Like Hisoka, Chrollo may also decide to spend extra time with you afterwards, even taking you to a nice restaurant for example, either as to celebrate having you with him again or as a means to show how much he missed you and how things could be better if you weren’t so stubborn. A twisted line of thought, but maybe not so surprising. Not when Chrollo, on top of being who he already is, becomes a yandere.

Once he finds your trail, a single clue even, then nothing will stop him. As for you, it feels almost like deja-vu, a revival of back when you knew he was stalking you despite your attempts of getting away.

You can go to the authorities and tell everything you know, asking for protection. And, due to the Spiders’ reputation, they would likely do everything in their power to keep you safe and yet, it might not be enough. You certainly feel so, having been close to the Troupe and having seen how relentless they can be. Especially Chrollo when it comes down to you… And of course, you have your condition to think about… Which he would find out either upon finding you or (more likely) as he searches for you.

You might be in a safe house. You might have bodyguards. Top security all around you… And yet, your uncertainty won’t leave you alone… And it will not be unfounded, not when you suddenly wake up and the place is silent… But not a peaceful silence. You may pick a weapon; you may have prepared yourself for this eventuality…

But when you see Chrollo in a room, bodies lying around and he smiles as he greets you…

It’s hard to say if Chrollo has ever thought of having children with you (with his lifestyle, it wouldn’t be easy to raise them), but once he learns it has happened anyway, chances are he will be thrilled about it, once he gets over the initial surprise. He can think about the implications or how you’re going to raise the baby later. He will, however, be even more worried and anxious to get you back. The Spiders have many enemies and while he has kept you a secret, how can you be absolutely sure the Mafia wouldn’t have found out about you or the baby?

Right when he encounters you, he seems to want to touch your belly (regardless if you’re already showing or not) or hold the baby (to your fear), giving a smile when you reject him and acting as if to comfort you. Oh, dear, don’ worry. Sure, he is “upset” with you, but that can wait. Right now, he is just relieved to finally have you again and seeing you’ll have/had his child.

After all, you don’t think he would hurt his own son/daughter, do you?

All the while, he may hold you close (the way he would do when he realized you were thinking about your “previous” life or ways of getting away), whispering how much he loves you and how he wishes you would understand it.

His touch still makes your skin crawl.

Just as Chrollo wouldn’t hesitate to kill the (possible) bodyguards you have with you (or whoever else is helping), he would also say that he did warn you about this and, therefore, those deaths are on your hands as much as his.

Of course, being happy for the baby doesn’t mean he will just ignore your “bad behaviour” or how you “dealt” with the pregnancy. And as for punishments, it would depend on how “upset” he would be and also how much the obsession is affecting his behaviour. Since he’s not completely delusional, he might not be as cruel as Illumi for example, but he wouldn’t ignore your actions either.

There, there, why are you so sad? You should know he’ll take care of his family.

Giving the child to adoption might work well, but there is no telling what the chances are of Chrollo never finding out. It will be nearly impossible to hide the pregnancy from him (especially if Shalnark is still alive and manages to hack your medical files), so you’ll have to lie about a miscarriage or the baby being stillborn. He won’t use it to manipulate you and it’s better to deal with Chrollo grieving than having him trying to find the child because, believe me, he will.

And it’s not something he will take well. Any “normal” reaction a person may have to this sort of thing aside, if Chrollo’s obsession is too deep he may fall in the “objectifying the person” category and, seeing you as a thing that belongs to him, it follows that the baby belongs to him as well. Despite being a thief, he doesn’t suffer for his things to be taken away (feel free to call him a hypocrite).

It will mean an extra punishment for you. As if knowing Chrollo is going after the baby isn’t enough… You may try to prevent this by pointing out how his lifestyle is not one that allows you to properly raise a child, but it’s unlikely it will work.

His methods to get the baby back are the same used to find you: Relentless and without a care for those he has to kill. And in a sense, this will make Chrollo even more determined to keep you (and the baby) with him. Having a child is bound to affect things, not only in the way one expects due to having a baby (under normal circumstances) but including his “security measures” as well: He will want to be absolutely sure you won’t be able to escape again. If he has to lay low for some months or always leave a member of the Troupe with you when he has a “job”, then so be it.

The same lie regarding miscarriage or stillborn is also necessary in the event of an abortion. The normal displeasure one may feel when learning their “partner” took such a decision without talking to them will be present, but there is Chrollo’s yanderism to be taken into account.

Whether or not he’s at the point of objectifying you or truly believe he loves you, the fact remains that he won’t just shrug this abortion off as if it’s nothing.

If he never finds out, then it’s like it would be with the adoption: There will be grief, but it’s better than the alternative. Like in the other cases, the specifics of his reaction are related to how deep his obsession is and how it affects his behaviour, but there is no denying that Chrollo will be “disappointed”, even angry at you and it may interfere in how he treats you for a while. There is no guarantee he won’t be at the point of using this to try and manipulate you (regardless of where you stand in the matter of abortion, Chrollo will find a way to use this if he deems necessary).

#headcanon #hunxterxhunter #yandere #pregnant #baby #hxh #Hisoka #Illumi #Illumi Zoldyck #Chrollo #Kuroro #Lucifer #this turned out longer than I expected #hxh headcanon #hunter x hunter

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