#Shoutout to the friend who I spoiled and whose eyes I got lost in constantly. She did not reciprocate in the slightest.
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I was thinking that I didn't have a homoerotic female friendship as a youth and then I remembered I did.
#They didn't get to be all that toxic tho. But they were super short lived because I moved away the same year I met them.#I mean I've mostly been interested in men most of my life but in middle school?? I was experiencing a lot of attraction to girls.#Shoutout to the friend who I spoiled and whose eyes I got lost in constantly. She did not reciprocate in the slightest.#And the other friend who I'd cuddle with in which she'd be bent over the edge of the bed while I would basically spoon her from behind#while I braided her hair.#Yeeaahhh#I realized I was queer the year after but didn't experience REAL attraction to anybody again until I was in my late-late teens and twenties#Again I didn't realize it until a little while ago I didn't even really like my high school boyfriends.#I don't like talking about my current situation but the attraction there is very there and very multifaceted and very real.#It's flksfkd funny as shit to me though. I've never labeled myself as sapphic but those first two felt sapphic.#And in high school those relationships felt distinctly straight even though they were aware I was nonbinary.#The way I feel attracted to Him. . .it feels different than either of those. I'm not sure I have the words for it.#zombert.txt
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