#'and now that i realized that's why i was apprehensive i'm much less so'

[something-about-sunflowers]

OH.

You ever have a sudden realization for why you feel a certain way about something that actually completely flips those feelings on their head?

I've generally always been pretty sure about what I want out of any kind of gender affirming care I might hopefully get in some nebulous future where that's something I can afford: I want my voice deeper, I'd be delighted by bottom growth, I would like my tits significantly more masculine presenting if not gone completely. I've been ambivalent about the potential for body hair, though I have been much more eager for the possibility of it with more 'ideal transition goals' influence (Look. I want Con O'Neill's gender okay?) in mind.

That said the one thing I've been hesitant about is facial hair? Which is frustrating because it's the one thing that I kind of do have by default? If I don't do anything to it I have noticeable dark wispies on my upper lip and chin (I've kind of suspected for a while that I may have some sort of hormone disorder - I've got other things that lead me to think this too ofc this is just the most easily noticeable - but like. Who's got the money for diagnosing shit like that? Not me, that's for damn sure.) like. T-Boy's First 'Stache kinda deal. It's been my one (mental) sticking point on potentially starting T, to the point where I've argued with myself that I could just do like the trans girls do and get like, what's it called? Electrolysis? Hair removal? Just for that part. But then that adds cost to what I already can't afford and. Like.

I don't think. It. Actually bothers me? I think. I think I'm maybe projecting how I think my mother would react to it? Not even with full on transition in mind but like. How I am now. Like I don't really care how it looks if I don't shave. Hell, I might even like it sometimes? Like a micro-euphoria or something. But my mother is (partially) responsible for my eating disorder. It's completely within the realm of possibility that she would have Something To Say if I just stopped bothering. I don't even think she'd do it on purpose really? Just. Would need to point out the presence of hair on my face and the judgement would be implied. The 'I am pointing this out because it is unusual and I don't think you should look like this' would be implied. She wouldn't need to say it out loud.

And like. The worst of it is? I don't care. I don't care if I do something to myself that she doesn't like or approve of. And. It's hardly as if she's transphobic (Or. Not more-so than the average 'uninvolved in the queer community parent of queer kids' cishet person. Not maliciously so, yknow?) I've got friends she knows are trans - one who she knew through his actual transition process - she's been through the whole 'it's "he", mom' 'oops, he' situation before with relative grace.

But none of those people are her kid. She doesn't see them every day. She knows she didn't raise them and has, at no point in their lives had a say with what they do to themselves. I already came out to her once (Well. I was forced out by my partner at the time's parents, which was. Not fun.) and the thing about that time is? She really didn't have to. Do anything? About that? Except maybe adjust her mental image of who I might wind up marrying some time in the nebulous future. I'm not out to her about any of my Gender Stuff. Because I don't want to have to deal with the 'I just don't understand all of this' because I'm not binary trans (every other trans person she's met has been binary) or 'It would just be easier on everybody if we still called you [deadname] and used she/her' (which, I don't even really have an issue with she/her? I very much prefer they/them but I'm used to she/her and it doesn't bother me to hear it the way hearing my deadname still does).

She doesn't listen to me when I talk about things that actually matter to me. When I talk about shit that she's done that hurts me. Hell, when I tell her she doesn't listen to me she stops listening. I know it'll be a fight if I correct her on my name/pronouns. I know she'll 'forget'. I know when I get emotional about it, because I know I'll get emotional about it, that I'll start to raise my voice (gotta love the struggle with vocal volume regulation huh? I literally can't help it and I barely notice it until someone tells me) and that she'll say 'You're always yelling, I'm not going to listen to you if you yell' and that it's just code for 'I wasn't going to listen anyway because what you have to say isn't important enough for me to try to listen, and you're giving me a convenient excuse to opt out of the blame for that by speaking "too loudly"'.

Anyway. I'm not coming out again until I'm out of this fucking state and living on my own (or at least away from her and the rest of my family).

But I do think, now, I might actually be comfortable with my facial hair/the potential for more pronounced facial hair then too. It's not my problem, it's hers.

[gyuswhore]

the story of us ✦ j.w.w x reader

the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now - the story of us

synopsis: So many walls that you can't break through; except you do.

wc: 2.1K

contains: best friends to lovers, angst, fluff, humour, happy ending, alcohol, arguments

masterlist

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[a/n]: im exhausted, im loopy, im hungry, but i really wanted to post this so here you go my babies I'm sorry i haven't fed you in so long (ty @toruro for making sure i wasn't talking out of my ass in this ily)

[edit; 11/04/24]: grammar and spelling.

Jeon Wonwoo was nearing boiling point when he watched you push him away from yet another conversation.

He tried to understand, just like he always had. But it was proving near impossible at the five-month mark. 

There were clear signs you exhibited when you needed space, for whatever reason, Wonwoo knew you would tell him when you recovered. So he gave you what you needed.

And yet, when he finds himself pushed away from what looks like a casual conversation between your mutual friends, he finds his mild annoyance grow into something hotter. 

There’s a clench in his jaw as he tries not to squeeze the red cup in his hand with too much pressure, even when all the spiteful bit of his brain wants to do is to pour its pigmented contents all over your cream outfit. He manages to control himself, choosing to get up and exit the premises entirely. In complete silence, he refuses to acknowledge any yell of his name from passing acquaintances. 

Jeon Wonwoo refused to respond to any of your advances after that. 

Invitations to lunch were left on a jarring sent, the notification sitting in his log until he chooses to open it too late. His response was bare when you asked for help on some accounting concepts, pushing you over into Jihoon’s hands to fulfill your requirements. There’s a blatant shrug when you touch his shoulder, concerned, asking why his behaviour had become so distant in the past weeks; he responds with a mumble of, “just tired”.

The great divide happened a few days proceeding your birthday, one for which Wonwoo did nothing for but send you a quick message during the evening, never to see you throughout the extended day. 

“I can’t believe you’re putting this on me!” you all but yell, eyes wide and expression exasperated at the situation.

“Are you blind? Or just plain stupid? Because I didn’t tolerate months of your shit attitude to have you say it isn’t your fault.” Wonwoo is breathing heavily, hands motioning towards your entire figure with equal disbelief.

“What attitude?” you emphasize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I couldn’t be upfront with my best friend.”

“There’s a difference between being in a mood and blatant disrespect. I’m tired of having to put up with your mood swings like it’s my responsibility to coddle you. When was the last time you genuinely asked me how I was doing?”

“All the time!”

“Yeah, after you realize there's nobody else to whine and wail to!”

“Wonwoo, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Fine. If I’m clearly so unhinged, I’ll leave you to your liking.” 

The dwindled interactions, from messages to hellos, went from sparing to nonexistent — just like that. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect for you and Wonwoo to reconcile in the matter of a few days, if not a couple weeks.

But when the distance did nothing but grow larger, there was a settle of resentment in the pit of your stomach as you accepted the feud you were in. 

A text was sent from your phone a couple days after the incident.

[You]: can we talk?

But when you see no sign of the grey Delivered on the end, you knew he had blocked you. 

This was all nothing less than baffling to you for a number of reasons, starting with how you had never witnessed Wowoo acting this way. 

Wonwoo had done nothing but reprimand you the rare chance you suggested blocking an apprehensive individual, something about not showing that you cared. His voice seemed redundant after a certain decibel, the rarest chance to witness him yell at a failed video game or a frustrating professor. 

You know better, which is the only reason you’re ruling off paranormal possession. 

The claims against you came as an afterthought, not, however, rendering them any less strange. There’s a part of you that pondered if your shield of annoyance blocked you from seeing the truth in his words and in your behaviour, finding yourself overwhelmed with emotions when the thought crossed your mind, tears of frustration immediately blurring your vision. 

You did not understand, you could not. And when it all got too much, you allowed the hurt and confusion to turn into something more dangerous. You replaced it with anger, in the same place that once occupied a more delicate emotion. 

There was an uproar in Wonwoo’s mind when he sees you walk into the lecture hall, unaware of your overlapping schedule in the new semester. He watches as your eyes pass over the moderately packed space, briefly glancing over where he sat; if you saw him, you did nothing to bring a reaction out of it. You take a seat a few rows up front, right in front of him where he’s able to see the back of your head for the next two hours — for the rest of the semester. 

He wonders if it’s too late to switch classes. 

“Wonwoo, I honestly think this is getting out of hand.” Jihoon munches on his cashews, leaning against bark of the tree they were both sat under. 

“Did you want me to keep tending to her bullshit then?” he grumbles.

“That’s not what I’m saying, you know it’s not.”

“That’s what it sounds like.” Wonwoo’s retort is brisk.

Jihoon is suddenly snapping his fingers in his face at the reply, a flinch accompanies Wonwoo’s already sour expression. 

“See! See how frustrating it is when somebody isn’t making sense?” 

“How does this—” 

“Wonwoo, did you try talking to her about how you felt, you know, without the screaming?” 

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo’s expression clears out, his eyebrows unfurrowing and the scowl fading. He doesn’t speak, choosing to let the realization kick in.

“No.” 

Jihoon sighs, taking another pause. “I’m not saying what she did wasn’t uncalled for, but you need to talk shit out before deciding you hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Right, so can we wrap this up quickly and have you confess your undying love so we can all relax.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Heat crawls up Wonwoo’s cheeks.

“What? If you don’t hate her, it’s gotta be the opposite.”

Did Wonwoo like you? Yeah, he probably did. Did he ever let himself ponder upon it? No, because he was downright mortified of the mere thought. He finds himself a hypocrite to say it was to preserve your friendship, but he figures he’s fucked it up in a way that’s arguably worse. 

Regardless, Wonwoo walks away from that conversation with two things: a stark realization, and an even starker admittance. 

Everything was going wrong. At least that’s what it felt like when you hear the clang of your water bottle hit the pavement, rolling off into the oncoming traffic as you sprint to grab it. You nearly cause a vehicle pile-up, swallowing a couple profanities from braking drivers. 

You’re stuffing the darn thing into your bag when you trip on a loose brick on the path, nearly landing on your face. The glare you send into the pavement costs you even more when a hard shoulder bumps into your side, sending you another couple steps back. You don’t bother to see who the perpetrator is, too preoccupied with your attempts to take in deeper breaths amid the blankness of your mind. 

There are no hiccups after that, what you might owe your more conscious mind to. Stomping up the library steps, you thank nothingness for the air conditioning that meets your hot face, slowing down as you take in the crowd. 

Scanning the room for an empty seat is harder than you’d anticipated, hoping the heat would keep students away from the building as you left to get work done. Approaching a table, you set down your bag with a huff, pulling the chair out to finally take the seat you’ve been needing for so long. 

The universe seems to have other plans. 

It’s almost funny the way you and Wonwoo make eye contact across the other table, the recognition sending a jolt through your stomach. 

You’ve never moved so fast, pushing the chair back in with a screech that earns you a few looks, grabbing the handles of your bag as you turn around to leave the building you’d just entered. 

No way you'd sit there. Not when he was around.

You're bounding down the steps when somebody passes you, murmuring something without slowing their stride.

“I’m leaving, you can go inside,” Wonwoo says, and the sound of his voice has you halting almost immediately.

Whipping your head around to search for the sound, you watch as he takes a turn at the end of the steps, slowly moving out of your vision. 

There’s a swirl of something in your chest, and you realise in that moment how much you missed hearing his voice. 

Chiding yourself, you blink back the water that wells up in your eyes, embarrassed at how quickly you were losing yourself.

But the damage was done. And you wanted to be reckless, regardless of how desperate it made you look. A split second decision is made in that moment, one that lightens the heavy feet that you’ve planted on the concrete. 

You’re back to bounding down the steps, but this time with aim. 

Taking the same turn you saw Wonwoo take, you break into a sprint as you see his figure move farther away. You keep running, continuing to bump into both objects and people, hurried "sorry"'s the only thing you choose to throw their way. 

“Wonwoo!” Your voice comes out stronger than you’d intended, the sharpness having him turn around in search, eyes landing on your accelerating figure. 

Both of you realize too late how fast you’re really going, the velocity taking you directly into his outstretched arms, hands grasping the sleeves of his shirt as you come to screeching stop directly into his chest. 

You don’t have the time nor the patience to be embarrassed, pulling your face back to look directly into Wonwoo’s bewildered eyes to huff out your next words.

“Why did you block me?” you ask, voice gruff and slightly out of breath.

Wonwoo’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, words refusing to come out. 

“Why are you so mad at me? Why are you being nice to me if you’re mad at me?” You don’t stop, the direct questions tumbling off your tongue in desperation. 

You search his face for an answer when his mouth fails, but all you find is the remnants of shock yet to ebb away. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t important, I’m sorry for taking your presence for granted, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for…for… I don’t know! I’m just really sorry and I don't know how else to make this right.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you hear him say and you feel the moisture return to your eyes. 

“Huh?”

“I should’ve…” he pauses, looking sheepish. “I should’ve talked to you before I, y’know, went off on you. I should’ve managed my feelings better, I’m sorry.” 

You're silent for a few tantalizing moments before you raise your fists, and pound down on his chest with everything you have. You do it again, and then again, and again—

“What?- Ow!” 

“When are you gonna stop bottling up your feelings for fucks sake, it’s landed you everywhere but good!” you say, nearly yelling.

Wonwoo whips his head around to see who’s listening, palm to mouth in attempts to silence you. 

“I’m sorry! I know! I’m working on it,” he rambles, trying to get you to quit struggling. “Jihoon and I talked, that’s why I realised I was being dumb.”

“Are you gonna unblock me now or do I need to pay Jihoon to sit down with you again?”

Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrow. “You payed Jihoon to sit with me?”

“No, you idiot. But I should have because you can’t seem to figure out how to feel emotions.” 

Wonwoo can’t help himself when he breaks out into a grin, letting out a breathy chuckle that has you asking “What?”.

He pulls you in, heart to heart in an embrace, holding you tight to make up for the weeks of no contact. He breathes in your scent and feels as though he hasn’t in years. 

“I’m not gonna come running up to you the next time you decide you hate me,” you mumble into his shoulder, pouting slightly.

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” 

“No.” Wonwoo pulls away but keeps you in his arms, looking at you, “I love you. Like, the kind of stuff that makes you wanna live together forever. I love you.” 

It’s your turn to gape like a fish. 

“W-what?”

“You told me not to bottle up my feelings.” 

“Yeah, but—wow, um.” 

“Did I make another mistake?” 

No! You wanted to scream. But you don’t. You instead lift your hands up to come around his face, cradling it. And you kissed him. 

“I love you, too. Like the live together forever kind.” 

[manyaccidents]

"All done cutie, you can go back to coloring now" said Alyssa as she finished doing the last tape on my fresh diaper.

"But it's no fair!" I whined, all too aware of how childish I sounded. Trying my best to come across more mature, and wanting to be taken seriously, I continued in a slight huff "I don't even need a babysitter. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself". The situation I found myself in painted the opposite picture, but I was still trying desperately to hold onto the few last crumbs of dignity I had left, and even those were quickly slipping out of my grasp.

"Oh you're a big girl?" Alyssa said with a hint of a smile. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't realize. Tell you what, why don't you explain to me why you're a big girl who can take care of herself. If you are able to convince me, I'll convince your Daddy for you!"

Excitement bubbled up within me. Finally! A chance to get out of this! But almost as soon as the feeling came, it was replaced by one of unconfident apprehension. "What am I even supposed to say now?" I thought to myself, starting to panic. I had to say something, Alyssa was waiting. I couldn't waste this opportunity.

"um.." I started "well you see, um...".

I was totally blanking. I swear I had good reasons, but now that they were actually being put to the test they sounded substantially more flimsy and not thought through.

"It's alright darling, take a deep breath and begin from the top" Alyssa instructed comfortingly. This was not starting off well.. I took a shaky breath. The stakes were too high, I couldn't mess this up.

"um.. so well.. first I can.." - why was it so hard to think of something?? I stood there desperately trying to think of at least one thing I could say, aware that every second that passed was making my reward less likely. My heart was pounding and my thoughts racing. Without giving it any thought, desperate to at least say something, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I can eat meals by myself!"

A look of slight incredulity could be seen on Alyssa's face but she stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

"Um.. and I can... help with laundry! And cleaning up my room! And... I can even use the microwave and toaster by myself! I've been practicing! And... I can take care of my pets!" I finished in a rush.

Alyssa nodded her head slowly. "That's quite a list you've got there cupcake, but I just want to ask you a few questions about it okay? I just want to make sure I understand"

I swallowed hard, feeling a mixture of fear and hope in my stomach. "Okay..." I managed to squeak out.

"Great!" Alyssa smiled warmly. "Now, let's see. First off, can you tell me which meals can you eat by yourself? The ones that are already cut up in bite sized pieces?"

Her question caught me off guard, and I felt a twinge of panic. I knew I had to be careful not to say anything that would give away too much. "Um, well, s-sometimes it's c-cut up..." I stammered, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't make me sound too incompetent. "I mean, I can eat some meals by myself, like macaroni and cheese or chicken nuggets.."

Alyssa smiled at me "Thank you sweetie I think I understand now. Alright, next question; Have you ever done the laundry by yourself?"

I took a deep breath before answering. "Well, I helped Daddy put clothes in the washing machine and dryer a few times, and last time I did it all by myself!" Raising her eyebrows, Alyssa replied

"Your Daddy told me about that.. He said there were soap suds everywhere and that a certain someone used a little too much soap" I looked away, not wanting her to see how pink my face was getting. She chuckled, continuing "Well, I'm sure your Daddy was very proud of you for trying at least. Now, let's talk about cleaning your room. Do you clean it every day or just when you're told?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well... "I try to keep it clean, bu-" Alyssa nodded, seeming to accept this as my answer. "And what about taking care of your pets?"

Finally confident in one of my answers I proudly state

"I pet them and I play with them all the time!! And they go outside and I watch them to make sure they are ok!"

"It sounds like you love them very much, but do you feed them, clean their litter box, and give them fresh food and water every day?" Alyssa inquired, already knowing the answer.

I felt a pang of guilt. "Well... um... I usually just play with them... but I thought that was taking care of them isn't it..?"

Alyssa smiled sweetly "So those are the reasons you think you're a big girl? You think you'd be okay by yourself for a few hours?"

I nodded shyly, looking at my feet.

"Well, I'm not quite convinced sweetie. Can you use the stove by yourself? Or the oven? Alyssa asked, her tone gentle but firm. "And what about changing your diapers? We wouldn't want someone's wet diapee to give them a rash right?" I felt my face flush even more. "I... um... I don't really know how to d-do those things..." I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Alyssa nodded, her expression sympathetic. "I know, and it's okay honey, I understand. You're still just a little girl, and there's a lot you don't know how to do yet. But that's why you have a babysitter here to help you when Daddy's not around, okay?"

I wanted to argue, but though I didn't want to admit it to myself, her words rang true. I looked down at my lap, the infantile garment stark proof of Alyssa's assessment.

Alyssa, noticing my silence, gently took my hand in hers. "I know it's hard to accept, sweetheart, but you're still just a little girl, and that's okay! Don't be in such a rush to grow up, being an adult is so boring... I know! Why don't I make us some popcorn and put on your favorite movie until your Daddy comes home, how does that sound?" Alyssa suggested animatedly, already knowing how easily my attention is diverted.

"Tangled?!" I squealed excitedly, forgetting everything temporarily. "Yeah, that sounds like fun!" I beamed up at Alyssa and ran to the living room to get ready, forgetting my skirt in my excitement.

Alyssa shook her head, smiling. "A big girl indeed.."

[biblio-smia]

“i’m falling in love with you.” + Mike Schmidt please! congratulations — you’re such a talented writer and we all truly appreciate you! :)

thank you so much 🥹 | part of v’s 800 follower celebration!

mike has a staring problem. it's especially noticeable early in the mornings and late at nights, when he's only really half-awake and half-aware of what he's doing.

he's even less conscious on the effect it has, especially on you. you start stumbling over your words when you realize his eyes are fixed on you in such a concentrated way. you know he's just focused, probably engrossed in what it is you're saying, but you can't help the little patter your heart does.

and, you won't deny, you have a problem, too. though it's usually because you're enamored - captivated by the way mike's eyes have reflected the sun, or completely distracted by the way his eyes crinkle at the edges.

but when mike catches you staring, you tell him exactly why each time, sending a soft flush to his face.

tonight, however, mike's eyes will not leave yours, no matter how many times you've caught him. you'll catch him, look away, look back a few minutes later and still see him staring. you're starting to think he's fallen asleep with his eyes open when he reaches over, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

you're a little stunned, immediately forgetting the story you were telling him about a coworker. but he's back to staring, his head propped up on his hand, his elbow sinking into the pillows, waiting expectantly for you to continue.

you turn, scowling now, to face mike.

"you've been staring at me all night," you frown.

"really?" mike says, his voice low from the weariness, but you can't tell if he's being sarcastic. though, usually, his capacity for that clocks out around nine p.m.

"and you just interrupted me."

"sorry." at least that one's genuine. "didn't mean to." mike kisses you again - this time, you can't say he interrupted you.

"do i have something on my face?"

"yeah," mike replies softly, reaching up to hold your face. but he doesn't continue.

"mike."

"hmm?"

you look at him expectantly, but if he picks up on it, you can't tell.

mike doesn't stop his staring, or his holding of your face. he's begun to swipe his thumb over your cheek now - slowly, delicately.

"i'm falling in love with you."

it's quiet - but it's certain. you're sure you haven't misheard and the edges of your mouth curl into a smile.

"really?"

"mhm."

"why's that?"

mike does his best to shrug. "just am."

you wish you could keep this image of mike forever - a certain softness around him that only shows in his most vulnerable hours.

"are you falling in love with me?" mike asks, his eyes still wide despite his clear exhaustion.

you grab mike's hand on your face, pushing his fingertips to your lips. you hold him, steady, laying him down till he's holding you to his side.

there's no ounce of apprehension behind your answer, a truth that has been floating around without the proper words to express it.

"yeah," you say quietly, wondering if mike is still awake to hear you. "i am."

[melodymunson]

Steve Harrington x fem!reader x Eddie Munson oneshot- need you tonight

2.7K words

ao3 link

Steve and Eddie are your roommates. They hear you one night talking in your sleep and saying/moaning their names. They come to see if you are alright and find you touching yourself. (Older Eddie and Steve in late 30s with college aged reader in young 20s).

Warnings: some mentions of somnophilia (in a dream), double blowjob, deep throating, messy oral sex M and F receiving, and double vaginal penetration.

Thanks for beta reading @corneliuswatkins @keeryatmosphere love you both!

Having Eddie and Steve as your roommates was one of the best things ever. They could make you feel special and have you laughing with hardly any effort. They had been your friends since high school and you had gone on being roommates and going to college with them. Recently you had been through a pretty bitter breakup, but they were there with you throughout it all. Without them, you didn't know what you would do because they were your best friends too.

In bed one night, you were drifting off to sleep with only the pale glow of the moon outside being your only source of light. You had a dream about them- a dirty dream, no less. In the dream, they were pleasing you by giving you morning head and taking turns. So badly you wanted it to come true. You barely even realized you were touching yourself and crying out their names. They knocked on your door with no answer, so they walked right in and heard your sounds even louder, now feeling a little flustered when they realized your cries were those of pleasure. They left, but you heard a rustling sound and were startled- waking up from your half-asleep and semi-conscious state of mind.

"Steve?! Eddie!? What the hell!" You proclaimed as you noticed them in your doorway looking like deers caught in headlights. You were just waking up, so you were a little shaken, but not enough to turn them away.

"Sorry to disturb you, we'll go," Eddie began to say, as Steve nodded his agreement before you got up and stopped them.

"No, don't go. I knew what I was doing. I'm well aware now of the fact," you responded boldly, feeling apprehensive at first, but admittedly you knew what you wanted and you were going to act on it. You wanted them and right now, in this moment, nothing and no one would stop you. Except for Steve and Eddie if they didn't want you, but something told you they did.

Standing up, you walked closer to them once you turned on your lamp. They could now see you and how beautiful you looked in your lingerie. As they watched you with wide eyes, they were pretty amused at the sight they were taking in of you. You were drop-dead gorgeous to them and they were very attracted to you. You took hold of their hands, brought them over to your bed, and sat them down. They were both in their boxers and T-shirts. Already you could tell they were hard.

"I was dreaming about you both. That's why I was calling out your names as I touched myself," you admitted with no hesitation as you looked each of them in their eyes, which were captivating to you.

Steve's brows furrowed as you said this, and Eddie put his hand on your thigh.

"All because of us, huh? Do you like us that much? Are we that special to you, princess?" Eddie inquired in a raspy tone with his beautiful doe-like chocolate button eyes as Steve's hand patted you on the back reassuringly.

"Yes, I have liked you both for so long. I touch myself, thinking of you and Steve quite often."

Steve's husky voice chimed in

"We like you too. I do the same when I think about you."

"You do? I've been thinking about this moment having both of you alone and revealing my fantasies to you both," you proclaimed with desire in your voice as you brought their hands to your inner thighs, wanting to feel them there.

"Let's make your dreams come true. What do you want us to do first?" Eddie questions, sounding a bit excited at the prospect of being with you.

"Both of you need to take your shirts off for me, then I'll get down on my knees and please you both with my mouth," you firmly stated with no apprehension, just wanton need and desire.

"Sweetheart, we would do anything for you. We would love to share you," Steve adds as he eagerly obliges to your first demand of removing his shirt. Eddie did the same.

You freed their dicks from their boxers, eyeing each of their lengths, practically drooling now from the sight of their big thick cocks. Both of them were girthy and flushed pink at the tip. As your mouth watered at just the thought of tasting them. You held their cocks in your hands as you looked up at their faces, seeing lust in their eyes. Eddie and Steve were craving some good loving from you and your mouth was what they needed more than anything else at that moment.

"Your hand feels so fuckin' good, babe. So addicted to your touch honey," Steve proclaimed, his gaze focused on you as you held his cock in your hands and stroked him.

Eddie was feeling so hot and bothered as you did the same to his cock, getting them both to full hardness now.

"Fuck, that is a good little girl for us," Eddie praised you as he felt his balls grow heavy from your touch alone.

"I love your big cocks. Want to taste you both," you admitted in a wanton tone.

"Mmm, go ahead, princess," Steve responded with a dark glint in his eyes.

You licked a thin stripe up and down Steve's cock first then alternated to Eddie's. They loved the feeling of your tongue licking them, wanting even more from you. As you sucked the tip of Steve's cock into your mouth, you moved your hand to the base of Eddie's cock, now stroking his balls. You swirl your tongue around Steve's tip, then Eddie’s, wanting them both to get the full treatment equally.

Their groans of desperation and pleasure as they looked at you pleasing their cocks made you get even more encouragement to please them further, no matter what. It was more than just a craving for their cocks and their taste; you wanted to please the 2 men who meant so much to you. Their sounds of pleasure were your fuel to give them the head they deserved. The act was intimate, and you loved to be the one in control of the intensity and pleasure they would get.

"Just like that good girl," Eddie encouraged you as he stroked your hair and you sucked him deeper than before into your mouth. You then went right back to sucking Steve off and sucked even more of him into your mouth. Spitting into their cocks for more lube, you moaned in ecstasy.

"Don't want us to cum yet, though, do you?" Steve playfully teased you as you stroked his shaft and sucked off Eddie again.

Eddie as gently as he could pushed you off his cock and grabbed you, pulling you in close to him so he could taste your lips. His fingers tangled through your hair as you kissed, and Steve watched with eager eyes before pulling you to him to kiss you now.

"But first, let's take care of her and get her ready for us," Steve suggested as he spread your legs, noticing your wetness.

“Just take it off me. Do you want to see my whole body?” you asked enticingly.

Steve gave you the biggest smirk as he removed your lace panties and Eddie helped you to remove your corset. Their hands felt wonderful on your skin and gave you goosebumps. They were just the best. Seductive and graceful with their movements as they got you undressed fully for them. As Steve spread your legs and wrapped them around his shoulders, Eddie pulled you in for a kiss and caressed your breasts. Within moments, Steve’s mouth contacted your inner thighs, kissing and biting them gently until his mouth found your entrance and spread your wet walls with two fingers.

“Feels so good, boys. Love it,” you whimpered softly, back arched and letting them take you even further into their mouths.

Your moans grew as they pleased you, so happy to be the center of their attention. Eddie gave your nipples and breasts equal attention as Steve swirled his tongue around your clit and added suction to it.

Looking up at you with hooded eyes, Steve groaned into your pussy and Eddie sucked on your nipple, massaging the other with his fingers.

“How's her pussy, Steve? I want to taste,” Eddie begged.

Steve had been eating you out for a few minutes now, loving how you tasted, eager to please your sensitive bud. Your juices were on his mouth as he devoured you like a starved man, making you squirm and cry out for him. When he had his fill, he wiped his mouth and looked at Eddie with a huge grin.

“She tastes amazing. You can try now.”

They switched positions and Eddie eagerly fingered you, wasting no time. Now Steve could play with your boobs and he loved holding them in his hands. It was erotic, to say the least. Not only did they dote on you, but they adored you and would do anything for you.

“She's so tight. Baby, you need all my attention, don't you?” Eddie cooed as he talked to your pussy, making you laugh.

“Eddie. You are so silly.”

Eddie licked a thin stripe of your walls, loving everything about your pussy. How it felt with his fingers, how wet you were, your scent, and how you tasted. His brown eyes met yours as you looked down on him and Steve sucked your nipples, lavishing them.

“Best pussy ever? I think so,” Eddie grunted before going back to eating you out, loving the pretty sounds you made for him. He thought about how hot and sexy it would be to have you moan on a Corroded Coffin track as he ate your pretty pink pussy. You were becoming a bit overstimulated from just how wonderful he was at eating you out as Steve gently bit your nipple.

“Gonna cum Eddie,” you begged, wanting to find your release as his fingers and tongue worked magic on your clit.

“Let her cum, Munson,” Steve chided him.

“Since you've been a good girl, sure.”

Eddie went right back to eating you as your thighs crushed his face. Like a starved man, he lapped at your clit and tasted your juices. Your orgasm came crashing through you as you came moments later, crying out their names.

"Want to feel you, princess. I want to be inside of you," Eddie begged sweetly as you came down from your high.

"And Steve too. Both of you at the same time."

"You mean like one of us in your pussy and the other in your ass?" Steve asked nonchalantly, just plain curious at this point.

"No, at the same time. Double penetration."

Their gasps were apparent now, and those looks of shock soon turned into smug smiles. Steve and Eddie hadn't done this before but wanted to oblige you. They would do anything to make you happy and, most importantly, they would keep you safe. Since you wanted to feel them both and everyone was clean, besides you having an IUD, you wasted no more time getting into position. As they entered you, Steve, from behind, held onto your leg, his other hand rubbing gentle circles on your back. Eddie was in front of you, his right hand on the mattress to keep his balance as he eased inside of you grabbing your hip and holding you in place.

"She's so tight, right, Harrington?"

"Yeah. The tightest. How does it feel, honey?" Steve inquired as he filled you up to the hilt.

They rested inside of you, their brows beaded with sweat now.

"I feel good. So full."

You held onto Eddie's shoulder as Steve gripped your ass firmly, holding you into place. Eddie moved first, his cock pressing against Steve's as he slid in and out, your pussy gripping his cock. tightly and hugging it. Steve moved soon after, going slow for you to get fully adjusted. As their shafts lightly rubbed up against each other, you felt Steve's lips attach to your neck, biting down gently as you pulled Eddie's brown curls tugging on them.

"Oh, fuck so good. Yes, fill me up. Love how incredible it feels," you called out as their cock moved in tandem, almost in perfect sync.

You were their little whore now. Theirs to use and abuse as they saw fit. You wanted nothing more than to have your cake and eat it, too. The moans elicited from the three of you were practically orgasmic. Steve's balls slapped against your pussy as he got lost in the pure ecstasy of your tight hole. Eddie loved fucking your perfect pussy it was made just for him and Steve. Eddie tweaked your nipple and slapped your breast as he moved inside, throwing his head back in utmost pleasure.

"What a good little whore for us, isn't she, Steve? Letting us fuck her tight pussy together. Biggest slut, I think," Eddie chided you, teasing you as Steve pulled your head towards him and spit in your mouth. Greedily you swallowed, feeling so blissed out for them.

"She's a good fuckin' slut. Ain't right, honey? Only our slut, right?" Steve questioned through gritted teeth.

Your wet cunt made squelching noises as they fucked you, showing no mercy. Eddie was having the best fuck of his life and Steve was having the night of his life. It sure beat sleeping and none of his exes could give him this. Letting him fuck you with his best friend together was something he wished he could've experienced much sooner. Now that he had that with you and because you were roommates, it was bound to happen again at some point. Hopefully, as often as possible.

"Yes, only yours and Eddie's. I want to cum. Please," you begged oh so prettily for them.

Your clit was so sensitive and already you were going to lose control again and come undone for them for the second time that night.

"We won't cum until you do," Eddie promised you as he gripped your ass and slapped it.

The prettiest cries escaped your lips as their groans grew more in intensity. It wouldn't be long before all of you came undone. Their hot white cum would fill up your pussy, coating it with their seed. It would be a badge of honor you would wear proudly. Just their little cum slut. Eddie's lips crashed against yours as you dug your fingernails into his shoulder. Steve's thrusts were more frequent now and his cock was twitching inside of you as Eddie's shaft continued to thrust, matching Steve's pace. Even though you were being stretched out, the feeling of tightness was still there. The thing to drive you over the edge was Steve's fingers on your nipples, tugging at them and pinching them.

"Holy shit g-gonna!" You warned them before squirting all over their cocks.

"Holy fuck, she just squirted!" Eddie proclaimed enthused as your juices kept coming.

Their deep thrusts just continued as your juices leaked all over their cocks, coating them with your release. Eddie was the first to cum as he buried his load deep inside of you before pulling out gently.

"Fuck, that was amazing."

Eddie collapsed on the bed as Steve continued to thrust his cock, soon emptying all his seed inside of you. It leaked out, so he pushed it right back in as he was pulling out.

"Fuck so pretty. Let's clean you up, yeah?" Steve assured you with praises and kisses to your collarbone and neck.

"I hope we can do that again soon," you told them before kissing each of your men.

"I know we will," Eddie told you with a wink as he played with your boobs.

"I hope so too," Steve chimed in with a smile before kissing your cheek.

After everyone cleaned up, you lay there on your big Queen-sized bed nestled in between each other with you in the middle. Sleep soon overcame the three of you, but in the morning you woke up first as they still lay next to you and went up to the mirror. The message there read in dark red lipstick: 'It was not a dream.'

songs/soundtrack need you tonight by INXS I'm in need of love Ace Frehley sexual by Amber sexual healing by Sarah Connor sensuality by Samantha Mumba two of hearts by Stacey Q kiss by prince kiss me deadly by Lita ford hungry like the wolf by Duran Duran I want action by poison

tagging people who might be interested @somethingvicked @babygorewhore @inourtownofhawkins @jadeylovesmarvelxo @undead-supernova @ali-r3n @jozstankovich @mrprettywhenhecries @daisy-is-a-writer @stevesxyellowxsweater @harringtonfan4 @koskeepsake @munson-mjstan @impmunson @bimbobaggins69 @bunnsandroses @steveslittlesunflower @emsgoodthinkin @zestychili @s6raphic @probablyin-bed @corrodedcorpses @dollalicia @ofhawkinsandskippy @keeksandgigz @hcwthewestwaswcn @emmyshortcake @geeky-introvert @lovelythoughtfulcupcake @xxbimbobunnyxx @edsbug @gravedigginbbydoll @loritate7311

[star-dust-shark]

short fanfic ig?

It hurt.

it hurt when Nico realized that he never had liked Percy.

that on it's own didn't hurt, but the fact that he thought he'd had a crush on Percy when really he was just alone and in pain and he liked the comfort of another human being.

which made Nico think that maybe he couldn't feel love.

maybe he was heartless or gross.

he'd never have someone like how Leo had Jason, or Percy had Annabeth, or Hazel had Frank, or Reyna had Thalia.

his face felt warm and his heart hammered as he slumped against the wall in his cabin, feeling his throat begin to close up and his eyes sting.

he curled himself up, shaking, trying to take deep breaths.

no one could hear him cry. It would be to embarassing.

he shuddered, feeling a tear trace down his face.

he remembered how he felt special when he'd liked Percy. but that wasn't real.

he didn't know why it was upsetting him so much.

he didn't know why he was being so overdramatic, why he was crying and shaking in his cabin when he could be of worth.

he didn't know why he was being useless.

the thought forced a sob from his chest, shaking his core as more tears spilt from his face.

he remembered what Will had told him.

"you're having a panic attack" said Will's soft voice in the back of his head.

the same thing that was happening a now had also happened a while ago, after Nico had had another Tarturus flash back.

he breathed deeply through his nose, trying to calm himself down while trying to remember the advice Will had given him.

"go to your happy place, Di Angelo. Try to think of things that make you smile. or laugh. or just feel good".

Will had told him this while rubbing his back in a rythmatic way, tracing invisible circles on his spine.

he remembered that Will had started awkwardly laughing and apologizing for being a dork with horrible advice.

Will had always been there, though Nico didn't know why. Will was constantly looking after Nico though Nico didn't return said generosity.

and yet Will went out of his way to talk to Nico.

to text Nico through the demigod safe phones Leo had desinged.

to make him laugh or smile.

Nico's breathing began to steady slightly, and instead of a clogged throat it just felt dry. he wiped the tears off of his face, feeling his breath shudder.

his heart began to regulate, but spiked again when he heard a knock at the door.

he tried answering, but instead of saying yes, he just made a weird gargling groan with his throat.

the doorknob twisted and the door creaked open, revealing Will Solace who was scanning the cabin for Nico.

"Nico"? he called, his voice startlingly loud compared to the lulled silence of cabin thirteen.

"hey" Nico croaked, now sounding less like a dying frog and more like he had a tissue in his mouth, muffling his words.

"Nico"? Will raised his eyebrows, "what are you doing on the floor"? he creaks the door open further, washing Nico in slivery moonlight.

Will's eyes widen and his surprised expression melts to concern.

"before you ask, I'm fine" Nico mumbles as Will closes the door behind himself and sits next to Nico.

"you've got to stop doing that, you know. I'm a doctor. I know when people are in pain, whether that's physical or mental".

Nico scoffs. "you're more like a school nurse".

"plus, you have red splotches around your eyes. You've been crying" Will adds, ignoring Nico's sarcastic comment.

"well... everyone cries" Nico mutters.

Will sighs.

"why"?

Nico arches an eyebrow.

"I dunno. You're the "doctor". You should know better then me" he answers, rolling his eyes.

"not that, dumbass. why are you crying"? he jabs his finger into Nico's ribs playfully.

another shuddering breath. Silence.

"you don't have to tell me. I know you're apprehensive when it comes to trust. No pressure, Di Angelo", Will says gently.

deep breath.

"I feel..." he looks down at his hands, scars jagged like lightning bolts.

"sometimes I feel like I'm uncapable of... love, I guess".

"what"? will asks incredulously, his eyebrows shooting up to his scalp.

"sorry" he says in a gentler tone, averting his eyes, "but you aren't, Nico. Love doesn't have to be romantic".

"I know, but that's the thing. I want to feel... attached to someone. But I just... I don't... I don't know? like it feels like no one wants to be attached to me, and I'm scared to be attached to someone, because I've lost people before and I'm scared it'll happen again because it's horrible. And what if I mess up? And what's it supposed to feel like? I've never really truely liked someone, even when I thought I did. So was it fake? am I fake"?

Nico stops, realizing just how overdramatic he was being.

Will breathes deeply, chewing his lip like he does when thinking.

"Nico... how do you know"?

"what"?

"how do you know that no one wants to be attached to you"?

Nico's eyes widen, and he looks down awkwardly.

"maybe... maybe the person you liked before, you really did like, just not love. They're different things. Sometimes when you like someone, it's almost just like friendship with added steps. When you love someone, it's so many more steps, so many steps that it clouds the friendship aspect, though it's still there", Will says, his eyes trained on Nico's.

"maybe".... Nico whispers, trailing off into silence.

"Will"?

"yeah"?

Nico paused, but asks carefully, "have you ever loved someone like that"?

The corners of Will's lips curve upwards, his dimples reappearing.

"yeah".

Nico nods, not knowing exactly how to say what he wants to, but knowing exactly what it would sound like.

"thanks for talking to me, Di Angelo. I mean it".

Nico smiles, which hurts his cheeks slightly.

"thanks for listening", he replies as he rests his head on Will's shoulder, listening to the sound of his heavy breathing.

[seokmthw]

search the universe | park gunwook

⇢ pairing: gunwook x reader

⇢ warnings: soulmate au, slight angst, fluff, mentions of death, brief mentions of alcohol

⇢ word count: 3.3k

⇢ synopsis: timers are stamped onto your wrist with the amount of days you have left until you either die or find your soulmate. since you had gotten yours, you had a hard time believing it was the latter.

⇢ note: i know this is a really cliché soulmate trope, but i have a love for it that i can't quite explain. i'm hoping this won't be the last you see of soulmate!zb1, so be on the lookout in the future for more from me! <3

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i.

soulmates were a weird concept to you from the moment you learned about them. wveryone around you - friends, family, coworkers - have always been excited to find the people they’re meant to be with for the rest of their lives. you never understood the hype, much less how the actuality of it all was ever achievable in the first place. everyone whose timer you witnessed ticking down almost always met their death sentence, so you had every right to be apprehensive about whether it truly worked or if you've been fed lies for your entire life.

everyone was born with a timer on their left wrist with chunky black squares and beaming red digits that never lit up until you reached a certain age in your life. yours started on your sixteenth birthday with the fresh set of bold letters reading 1,095 days. that was exactly three years, no more, no less. it was a rare occurrence someone would ever be branded with the same date as their birthday, but the universe just seemed to hate you more and more for not believing it’s incredibly stupid logic. your nineteenth birthday was either going to be magical or tragic for those around you, but you already knew everything was going to take a turn for a worse, so why stress about it?

that day was now exactly a week away and your parents and group of friends were stressed out more than ever because they weren’t sure if they should plan a party or a funeral. you told them all not to worry about it, that you didn’t care, but they never seemed to listen. which was fine, you were used to people losing their minds over your slowly deteriorating time, but you just wished that once in a while someone would pay attention to how you felt. 

especially now, where your two idiot best friends were frantically pacing the living room in your shared apartment with their thoughts spewing directly from their mouths out into the open. they had absolutely no filter, so talks about a gruesome death and an unforgettable birthday bash were the main topics.

“guys, seriously, it’s fine. i really don’t want you to be in a constant state of distress because i’m going to die before you do,” you said.

yujin stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide with bewilderment as he gasped, “y/n, if you say anything like that one more time i’m going to kick you.”

you merely shrugged, “i’m just speaking the truth.”

gyuvin, who had just thrown himself onto the plush loveseat, sighed loudly but didn’t say a word. you knew that every time you talked about this you made them upset, and tension was even higher now that the numbers on your arm had a seven on them. you just wished they would accept your fate and move on, because really, you didn’t think it was a big deal. 

“come on, please don’t be upset with me,” your voice grew soft at the sight of their somber faces and your own realization that this was having more of an effect on them than you initially thought, “if i am going to die, let’s make this last week one of the best we’ve had in our lives, okay?”

yujin and gyuvin shared a look before they finally nodded and you were engulfed in a bone crushing hug. it felt good to feel their arms around you, because at the end of the day, you needed them more than anyone else in the world. you just hoped that they would be able to move on past it all and continue to live for you. after all, they adorned a hefty amount more numbers than you did, so they still had a while. 

“we love you, y/n, and we get mad at you because we care so much,” gyuvin whispered, so it felt like it was only the three of you in the whole universe, “now are you going to let us plan a party or not?”

“please let us plan a party!” yujin exclaimed.

you huffed in mock annoyance, “fine, but you have to promise me you won’t go too crazy. i don’t want you guys to get your hopes up and the outcome be worse than you expect.”

“deal.”

three days after your compromise with your friends, you were sat at your favorite restaurant, where they wanted to ask your opinion on some of the party decorations. however, the initial reason was soon deflated due to you recounting a dream you had. to say they were surprised was an understatement.

"you what?” gyuvin exclaimed, causing you to cringe back into your spot of the booth. he and yujin shared almost the same expression the moment you began recounting the news to them.

slowly, you replied, “i told you, i had a dream about someone i don’t know. it was so weird though, because i couldn’t see their face whatsoever.”

and it was true. the past two nights you’d had the same exact dream. the first time, things were foggy and clouded, making it to where you could only hear his voice. however, the second night, you could make out a bright smile and glittery brown eyes, but nothing more. you met your friends’ gazes, shrugging your shoulders, “it’s really not that big of a deal. i don’t know why you guys are so surprised about it.”

“you are such a dumbass,” yujin replied as he buried his face in his hands, his voice muffled as he spoke the next time, “have you not listened to a single thing we were taught about the timers in school?”

“no! i’ve always slept, you should know that. i sat next to you during the lectures.”

gyuvin looked as if he were about to slam his head into the wall next to him, “it’s literally common sense to know that when you have a dream about someone you don’t know when your timer is almost up that it’s your soulmate.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving rice from the plate in front of you into your mouth to avoid saying anything that could upset them. no matter what anyone said, you just couldn’t even begin to think how it’s logical to believe the stuff school fed you, especially when it came to those numbers. you were absolutely not going to become brainwashed into thinking that a meager dream could have any significant correlation with your timer.

“i think you guys are just trying to get into my head to make me believe these stupid things are actually worth my time,” you laughed.

“it sounds to me like you’re trying to tell yourself not to actually take what we say into consideration,” gyuvin stated matter-of-factly, spooning a mouthful of the stew he’d ordered into his mouth, with an eyebrow quirked up in question. yujin suppressed a smirk next to him.

you fell silent at his words. it wasn’t because you believed him, because you certainly did not, but you were done talking about it. you made a promise to yourself not to utter a single word about your dream around either of your best friends - you knew they would do this - but your tongue had different plans for you and now the situation was a mess. their accusing glances, wide grins, and shared looks were enough to give it away.

you threw enough cash to pay for your meal on the table and scooted out of the booth, your lips pressed into a thin line, “i’ll see you guys back at the apartment.”

“y/n, wait!” yujin called after you, his voice faltering slightly, “we didn’t mean to upset you!”

“just let them go, yujin, all we ever do is make them mad anymore. maybe it’s best to have some time apart.”

gyuvin’s words sent a pang of guilt and sadness to your chest, and it took everything you had not to choke on a sob right then and there. it took a lot for him to say something that could be hurtful and knowing you were the one that caused it made you want to scream until your voice went hoarse. however, you refused to turn back and apologize, because you weren’t the only one in the wrong. they were just as much at fault as you were. 

soon, you found yourself sat on a swing in the park a few blocks from your apartment complex, tears staining your cheeks and your heart hurting. what if your friends were right and you were just blowing the entire soulmate thing way out of proportion? was everyone else you’d seen meet their death just the less fortunate? questions flooded your mind and had no intention of stopping any time soon. you felt dizzy from your brain taking on so much at once and you were beyond grateful for the seat below your body that kept you steady. 

you never thought that you would consider having a soulmate as a possibility, but here you were, wallowing in self-pity and hatred for yourself for causing everyone around you grief just because you couldn’t seem to see the logic until four days before your timer ended. sighing, you aggressively wiped away the remaining tears on your skin and rose from your spot. it was about time you started to head back to your apartment. 

an apology was long overdue anyway.

ii.

thin fog swirled around your ankles as you walked toward the shadowy figure just in your line of vision. the soft pink glow of the sky reflected in his eyes - which were as sparkly and happy as ever - and glimmered beautifully in his hair. he seemed far beyond your grasp, and just when you thought you were getting closer to him, he was even further back than before.

what originally started out as a walk became a light jog in a desperate attempt to reach him. you swore for a moment you could catch a glimpse of one of his features you’d previously been unable to see before, but it was gone just as you were about to reach him. you were now broken out into a sprint, your legs burning and heart racing.

you needed to see him. 

but, he just kept getting further and further away, his gaze haunting you with unanswered questions and a plethora of what if’s. you refused to give up. you pushed your legs harder, extending them to your absolute best ability to cover more distance between you and his dark presence. with your arm stretched out, you called, “wait, please!”

the boy finally stopped - though it was unclear if it was because of your desperation or exhausted state - and held his hand out for you to take. you forced your legs to a stop, your eyes frantically searching the features visible to you to try and cling on to what little you were offered. the same two features as before; his hair and his eyes. 

for a fleeting moment, you saw something flicker across the the lower part of his face, just beneath his nose. However, just like that, it was gone, but you knew exactly what it was.

a gummy smile.

iii.

it was finally your birthday, and the day that you would be meeting whatever fate you had in store. you had woken up at ten o’clock, thankfully, but now it was five o’clock and you still had six hours and twenty minutes left on your timer, so anything was possible. you were a lot more nervous than you expected, but since you’d spent your entire life resenting this day, it wasn’t as overbearing as you imagined it would be. 

the moment you entered into the kitchen, yujin and gyuvin were showering you in hugs and loads of “happy birthday, y/n”s but the troubled looks in their eyes were hard to miss. you could have sworn you saw a tear slip onto yujin’s cheek and that gyuvin’s breathing was slightly uneven, but you decided not to comment on it. not on this day. you didn’t think you could live with yourself if you sparked an argument on what could be some of the last moments you had with them.

instead, you hugged them both for a good five minutes, relishing in the feeling of security and comfort their grips held. the nagging in the back of your mind told you to enjoy as much of their company as you could in those remaining thirteen hours, because you very well could never get it again. and neither could they. pushing the thoughts back, you gladly dug into the dinner the pair made for you and watched the drama reruns that were playing on the television in the living room. it was a favorite among the three of you, so it only felt right to turn it on and delve into the world of your favorite characters.

about an hour later, your friends ordered you to stay in the apartment and get ready for your party while they went and set up, which was code for “hey, we don’t want some freak accident to happen before your timer is up so just stay here where we know you’re safe,” but you certainly weren’t complaining. as of right now, the safer, the better.

once left alone until they were to come to pick you up, you dropped to your knees in the middle of the kitchen and sobbed. this entire situation was all too real, and you could feel the steady grip you once had on being sure you were ready to accept your death starting to slip through your fingertips. you had no right to be upset, this was the day you were waiting for your whole life just so you could prove to everyone that you were right.

but you were just so scared.

there were so many what if’s, so many unknown factors of what the rest of your evening had in store. you weren’t sure you were ready to find out, but your timer was dead set on getting you to that point. the more you looked at the crimson numbers, the more your belly twisted and turned. you hoped that if you were to die, it was quick and painless, and if you were to meet your soulmate, you wouldn't be the most awkward person in the world.

you sat on the cold tile with silent tears flowing down your cheeks for what felt like an eternity, but only ended up being twenty minutes before you finally pulled yourself together and forced your legs to take you into your bedroom so you could get dressed. you had less than a couple hours before yujin and gyuvin would be back, and if you didn’t look collected and put together, all hell would break loose. you chuckled at the thought while you threaded your legs through your skinny jeans and put your top on. 

by the time your best friends had come back to get you, you were going stir crazy penned up inside of the apartment, so you were glad to finally be going somewhere. the drive there was full of music blasting and lots of laughs, but the sadness was still heavy in the air. you couldn’t blame them, though, because you definitely felt the same way. 

once at the venue, you couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. everything was outside, fairy lights casting a warm glow across the otherwise dark section of the area you were in. a bonfire was already raging in the middle of it all. people circled around it with drinks in their hands and smiles stretching across their faces. you couldn’t believe how many people actually came or how much yujin and gyuvin had  outdone themselves with the entire setup. 

“this is so beautiful, guys, thank you,” was the only thing you could manage to exert from your lungs before you were pulling them both into a tight hug, suppressing the fresh tears that threatened to spill over at the snap of a finger.

gyuvin laughed softly, “anything for you.”

“we love you, you know that, right?” yujin inquired, pulling back slightly so he could meet his gaze with yours, “so much.”

“i love you guys too.”

your moment only lingered for a few moments after that, because next thing you knew, people were bounding over to you and wishing you a happy birthday. hao and hanbin, who you hung out with occasionally in high school. taerae from the time you dared to sneak out of your parents’ house just to go on a midnight mcdonald’s run with him. matthew and ricky, your old roommates before you decided to move in with yujin and gyuvin. many of old classmates and even a few people you didn’t know. all for you.

you could feel yourself gaining control over your nerves and body once more as you conversed with everyone. all of the weighted thoughts were nearly forgotten about. that is, until you decided to steal a glance at the remaining time left on your wrist. you could feel your chest tighten and your breath hitch in your throat.

three minutes.

that was it. three meager minutes until you either died or met the person you were supposed to be with for the rest of your life. you swallowed harshly. it was best you didn’t mention anything and cause everyone to go into a state of panic, so instead you practically glued your arm to your side and refused to look at the time anymore. whatever was going to happen was left in the hands of fate now.

you took a drink from the cup in your hand, craving for a distraction from the anxiety that was caused from looking at your timer. a light tap on your shoulder was able to be felt and you turned to find yujin, who was smiling widely, “i wanted you to meet my friend, gunwook, who i told you was studying abroad! i figured i would invite him to the party since he was back in town.”

your gaze shifted to the boy that was stood next to yujin. the moment your eyes met with his, a spark was lit and it completely engulfed you from the inside out. the world around you faded, leaving you with only him. his dark brown hair that was illuminated by the light of the bonfire, his honey brown eyes the sparkled like the stars that blanketed the sky, but most importantly - his gummy smile.

he felt the same. you could easily tell by the way his face contorted to an expression that was nothing but pure joy. almost instantly, he pulled you into his arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent. you melted into him, basking in the warmth that he radiated and the feeling of security that you felt in his hold. softly, he whispered, “i’ve been waiting for the day i could finally hold you.”

“i’ve been waiting for the day i could put a face to all of the features i saw in my dreams,” you replied, entirely unable to suppress the grin that broke out onto your lips.

you pulled away from his grasp, flipping his wrist, as well as your own, over to bear the thick zeros that now adorned your wristsand were lit up a bright green. this was it, you finally met your fate, and you were so glad to know that it was with the captivating boy who visited you in your dreams. 

gunwook cupped your cheek, examining your face, taking in every inch, every detail that he could. leaning forward, he was just barely apart from the shell of your ear, lips brushing your skin as he spoke words to you that you wanted to hear over and over again for the rest of your life.

“if i had to search the universe to find you again, i would in a heartbeat.”

[chokochip27]

SHU YAMINO X READER

blurting out his true feelings by accident

you just looked so beautiful.

your eyes shone the brightest when you looked at the fireworks that you two lit up together near the house.

you were already so beautiful to him, yet... right now, he was just in awe of your everything. in awe of your beauty, of who you are, and just... you.

his heart skipped a beat when you turned to him, smile bright as you showed off your lighting fireworks that you twirled around. the way your childishness showed without any constraint endeared him.

everything that you do is so naturally you that he couldn't hide the feelings he had inside him. he no longer could repress the feelings he was having for you.

he stood up, confusing you, who was just skipping and dancing around unknowingly. the curves of your mouth and your eyes turned upwards, and much to your confusion, shu stared at you, gaze glossy and amethyst orbs shining in an emotion you couldn't decipher.

"shu?" you approached him, worried. you have never seen him look so apprehensive. "is there something wro—?"

"i love you."

"eh?"

blankness was the only thing you could feel right now. realization hit you after a few seconds and you snapped back to reality. you could feel your heart beating five times faster than usual. your cheeks were so hot that you're worried about yourself having a fever. you stared at him, eyes so wide, stunned and puzzled.

"...huh?"

shu pursed his lips and looked at you in the eye. without even a moment of hesitation, a tight smile appeared on his face as he continued, "i love you. i love you... so... so much." his lips trembled as he continued, "i'm sorry for being so selfish. i'm sorry for blurting out these feelings of mine without even considering you first. but... i really wanted to say it." he looked troubled, a little panicked even. he scratched the back of his head, smile boyish and sheepish.

"i just... i'm sorry... you were so mesmerizing. your eyes, your smile, your everything... just you..." you jaw was on the ground. you have never heard your usually reserved friend talk so much, much less about his feelings. your heart shook against your chest over and over again as he continued looking at you with that gaze. "i... just... can't help but say i love you."

he flinched and bowed his head at your silence. "i'm so sorry if i'm being selfish. if you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me to leave or you can leave me here if you want to."

a loving smile painted your lips.

why was he calling himself selfish when it was such a normal thing to express one's emotions? you chuckled, confusing the poor boy. my, he was and is always so kind and thoughtful of others, never failing to prioritize other people before himself.

"shu?"

"yes?"

"my shuey-shu."

"yes?" shu responded as normal as always, but when he realized what you called him, he blushed and stared at you with wide eyes. "yes...?!"

"did you know...?" you grinned. "i love you, too!"

he gasped, hands clenching into fists behind his back. "really?!" he leaned a little forward towards you. he noticed how high his tone was and softened. "really...?" he mumbled, hopeful for your response.

you nodded, softly responding, "really." you reached out to him, stopping before you could touch his face. "can i touch you?"

shu's stomach soared with butterflies. this was one of the reasons why he was so in love with you. he grabbed your hand, placing it on his cheek and leaning towards it. he nodded vigorously, closing his eyes at your warmth. "yes... yes, of course. as long and as many times as you want."

the way your (e/c) eyes softened at him in genuine adoration and love made him think how lucky he was to have his feelings returned so wholeheartedly. his heart almost leaped out from his chest when you caressed his cheek so gently and affectionately. he could feel your love radiating from just a single touch. he wanted to cry. he wanted to shout out to the whole world how much he loved you. how incredibly lucky he was to simply have you by his side.

he... just... he just wanted you.

"this is a dream, right?" he muttered.

your eyes fluttered in confusion before you chuckled at him. "no, it isn't. we're here, shu. i'll repeat it over and over again." you cupped his cheeks, smiling. "i love you. i love you. i love you so much. i love you... as you are."

shu stared at you, gaping. he closed his mouth, shook his head and opened his arms. "can i... can i hug you?"

"of course."

he has never done something so quick in his life. as soon as he got the permission, he wrapped his arms around you, fingers tightening on your clothes. he gazed at you and laughed. he placed his forehead on yours, nuzzling onto it.

"i love you."

you gazed at him before smiling and returning his embrace.

"i love you, too."

- - -

note: this is my first time writing here, so apologies if it seems bad, lmao. also i am a yaminion thirsting for fluff, so here i am! i might do other stuff like haikyuu, genshin impact, bnha and such. but i think i'll focus more on luxiem since i just want to give them all the love they deserve.

hope y'all enjoyed this! sending lots of love!

[wytfut]

Love lost?

To get going on this entry, I need to explain where I came from.

Not being derogatory toward girls, but I'm not sure that what they read here will be understood. Isn't this a guy thing?

Growing up middle income Nebraskan, with God fearing Methodists.

My parents came from what now would be perceived as extreme conservatism. No card playing. No dancing. No alcohol. Go to church twice a week. All of these "rules" were broken one way or the other occasionally by my parents, but it was their guide to being good people.

Pop, although I do show him here sometimes more negative than what makes a lot of folks comfortable.... Was a real life hero in my eyes. An invincible law enforcement officer with wide respect all over this end of the state.... even more.

Mom who I also tell tales that can be interpreted wrong, are also written here. She in her own rights created a world wide reputation within the blood bank, as a RN, and an active extrovert within the community.

They were good hard working folks, with a staunch background from Mid Nebraska, with lofty goals I tend to believe were accomplished.

The best I would ever hear out of their mouths was usually third person, and when they'd want to talk serious. As in "you know we love you very much..... right?".

Never the less... I loved them both very much .... as it should be.

,,,,,

I never saw or heard my folks say in public in person say they love each other. Never saw them hold hands. And growing up with this was the norm for me.

My interpretation I believe why this was so, was because of their up bringing. No public affection ..... There is no doubt they loved each other.

And I followed thru this mode with my growing up, includeding other luggage..... namely saying you love someone is extremely personal, plus with my young age, if said, could be an huge embarrassment within my peers, that no doubt touched trust to a point. It was HUGE to hold hands with any girl I'd be courting, let alone say "I love you".... it would take everything I could muster, to hold hands. I'd want to, but didn't know how, as silly as this seems.

Maintaining this line of thinking has made my life likely more difficult than needed, or even worth me writing it down. But so it goes, it is huge in my understanding of how things work.

.....

Patti (Toots), the love of my life, has heard me say "I love you", but most likely not near enough. And I regret it.

Growing up the way I did, I had to fit the proper appearance.... that's the way I saw it. "be a manly man" "do manly things" "don't cry" "is this how you want people to remember you".... these all have gotten me to this point in life, right or wrong, here I am.

Around 50 years old.... My oldest, in an emotional moment told me he loved me. I teared up immediately.... I had never been approached that way before, let alone by a family member. I tried to reply, but it just came out all garbled and choked. Still though it felt good....

It wore on me, and anytime my mind would go idle, I'd relive it. Sometimes like a punch in the gut, sometimes tears of exhilaration, and moments of confusion.

A few years later, I was writing an email to a long time high school buddy.... and finished off with a "I love you man". It was a good thing he knew me VERY WELL, otherwise it could have been one of those embarrassing moments. I'm still amazed to this day, that I blurted that out on a long distant email. I realize now, it made our friendship much more binding..... REAL...

As time marched on, I was still very apprehensive about saying such a thing to anyone, but on rare occasion I could get it spit out with my family. It is a long road.....

Sometimes via text, and rarely but it was done in person.... Did I really say that?

Its still very difficult for me to say. Its extremely real in my opinion, reserved for exceptional moments.

..........

I feel I have a huge network of close friends. Not sure if they feel that way also, but believe it is so. It would be very difficult to rate them to, "who is my best friend". I can't do it. It'd be like trying to say which is your favorite child. I can't do that either. I'd guess I have in reality about 10 best friends (actually maybe a much bigger number). All of these people I can count on, even if I don't see/communicate with them for great lengths of time, and me vice versa.

People who I can depend on. The old quote from me to my boys: "a best friend is the guy that will get out of bed at 2 in the morning, because you are stuck in the snow,". A person can change this to apply to many things many ways.

..........

From my life experiences, it seems we all hide behind some sort of imposing public image. Some folks can let it down easily, some cannot. Knowing my close friends, it seems easy to understand who can, who cannot. But its all understood, with no regrets towards any of them. Hey folks we are just people trying to get along...

...........

A clever man last night threw out a "I love you" last night on the phone, but said in a reflective way, that guys do, but with underlying other meanings. My radar popped.

It wasn't because I don't love this guy (I truly do), but he threw this out there, and laughed, and I too nervously laughed.

By nature, in normal conversation.... well I saw it as breaking the guy code. In reality, it didn't. We are very close.... almost cosmic brothers. But it was unexpected. And it affected me enough that I had to write this.

..........

And there it is... I'm a bit neurotic. Think too much about petty things.

Gotta admit, I love a lot of people....

[sroop]

guided (vi)

Reyza could accuse him all she wanted about using that helmet to unfair advantage, but Din often felt it was her that had all her features trained into the perfect wall.

A/N: ohoho, i'm having lots of fun here. i think there could potentially be need for some warnings. there's a bit of angst, mentions of death and violence, but that's about it.

Summary: For the past few days, the Crest hasn't felt much like home, until Din finally begins to hear what it's trying to say.

prev. | next

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Reyza climbs into the seat next to Din's aboard the Crest. His visor swings towards her with a small jerk, following her as she sinks into the leather chair wordlessly. Nearly two days after their departure from Sorgan, she'd hardly spoken a word to him, much less seek out his company in the cockpit. In fact, Din found himself secluding himself to this quiet area of the ship if only to give her freedom of movement with the child in its belly.

"So why are you hiding?" she mutters, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. It's a familiar sight. Her, curled to her side with her knees up to her chin in the passenger seat. It lightens some of the apprehension he'd had about this inevitable conversation.

"Why are you?" he retorts.

The silence between them grows stale and rotten. Even when they'd fought in the past, Din had not remembered it being so... charged. He glances at her without moving his helmet and is surprised to see a flicker of wetness in her eyes. He's never seen her cry. He's not even sure if damp eyes counts as crying.

But the sight doesn't let him stay silent for long. He sighs, "I'm sorry. For dragging you into all this. It's not right."

She doesn't respond to him, except to curl further into herself.

"You didn't make this choice, to put yourself in danger for the child. I'm sorry I forced your hand." Din pretends not to notice the way she drags the back of her hand across her face. "I wanted a better life for you too," he admits softly.

Her head snaps towards him. Half surprise and half some other emotion he can't name, unhidden, before it's shuffled away behind a mask. Reyza could accuse him all she wanted about using that helmet to unfair advantage, but Din often felt it was her that had all her features trained into the perfect wall. He wants to remind her that they're partners, her very own words. She didn't need to hide anything from him.

He hears her shuffle in her seat, unfurling. Even though he doesn't look, he feels the weight of her full gaze on him, the determination of how she holds the armrest to turn towards him.

"You remember when you asked me to tell you what was bothering me? Before Corellia?"

He nods.

"I never really told you. Not honestly, at least."

Din shakes his head, smiling softly. No, she didn't, but he didn't really have the heart to care anymore, so long as she forgave him. Still, he's touched by her insistence to tell him now.

"Well, do you- " her gaze falls to the floor and back to him, " -wanna hear? How I really got to the guild and everything?"

Din switches the Crest onto autopilot, and turns his chair towards her.

"During the war, Polaris was a neutral entity. It's not easy for spies to choose sides," she says lightly, a sad smile crawling up one side of her lips. Din tilts his head. This wasn't where he had expected her to start her story. "But our leadership at the time came to a decision pretty quick when the Empire started getting greedy. They wanted us to either swear complete and total allegiance to them, or die. So we did the only thing we could and swore allegiance, which is probably why most people seem to think we merged with the Empire and ended with them. The truth is that that was all a front. A play for freedom."

It makes well enough sense. And Din suddenly realizes he's being made privy to a truth that few in the galaxy knew. He sits up a little straighter and nods to acknowledge her words.

"We were working with the New Republic, trying to weaken the Empire enough that it wouldn't be able to make good on its threat. But we were found out, somehow, and they started killing us. All the Empire contacts, just gone." She gestures with her hand, pinching it shut and releasing into an open palm. Gone. Nothing. Just air in the palm of the Empire's hand.

Din recalls faintly the fear in her eyes when she'd collected the puck, her attempt to clue him in on why she was afraid. The Empire. She'd been saying it all along. They hurt me before, you're letting them hurt me again.

"Some of us trained as assassins survived by running away or killing for the Empire, but that doesn't mean all of us did. Mando, I've never seen anything like it." She leans forward to grab his hand. "They wiped us out. All our leadership, all espionage agents, even the ones no one could have possibly known about. Entire constellations just erased."

"Constellations," Din says, testing the word. "Constellations, as in coverts?"

She blinks in surprise.

"I- yes, I suppose so."

"Is that why... you were upset on Sorgan? When we found the walker?"

She'd hardly spoken to Din on that backwater planet, even refusing to share a hut with him and choosing to sleep in the forest. Something about keeping watch for hunters. He feels like hitting himself on his head on his own helmet. Of course something had been wrong. Everything had changed after that discovery.

Reyza doesn't tell him that it was that; and the kind, genuine woman she'd seen Din lost in conversation with a few times. Instead, she nods her head slowly.

"It's why I begged you not to take him back, Mando," she says softly.

"I would've kept you out of it, if they'd caught me. I would never- "

"It's not about that!" she cries, interjecting. She paces from her seat and with a wave of her hand, dismisses the thought. "It's just... I finally have this, you know?" she opens her arms to take in the whole of the ship. "When you went back for him, you were going up against the same people I've seen kill mine, and you didn't listen."

Din's stomach plummets and he stands, reaching for her arms, but she swats him away.

"You didn't listen," she says again, this time the tears pooling at the edge of her eye. Din clenches his jaw.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, lifting a gloved finger to catch the tear.

The Razor Crest hums gently beneath them, as their foreheads meet, eyes closed. He doesn't remember the last time he's really stopped to listen to their ship, the low groans and the constant bips. It's steady and faithful and Din is grateful. How many times had he bustled past all the signs and warnings and messages she'd left for him here? All the clues and hints she'd press into his hand, and plead with him to heed.

He lifts his head.

"I'm listening," he promises.

{}{}{}{}

thanks for reading!

[tvrningout-a]

hello i'm here and thinking more about how the shibuya incident affected miyuna! putting it under a read more bc there's spoilers for non-manga readers!

ngl, miyuna is a little ( or maybe a lot ) arrogant at times; it has never crossed her mind that there will be an enemy or obstacle she can't overcome eventually. even going into the shibuya incident, after finding out kokichi was the mole, after seeing all the destruction caused by faux geto and co., miyuna feels confident that everything's gonna be fine. she and her classmates are strong; the tokyo students are strong; the adults are strong; they have gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer; there's no way they'll lose.

but then she hears gojo was sealed, and miyuna feels apprehension enter her heart. she hasn't felt it since she was younger, new to her family's compound and all their rules. she tries to push it down, though. the rest of them are strong, so it'll work out. it has to.

but then she stumbles up tsugumi towards the end of her fight. i imagine tsugumi would have been plowing through as many cursed spirits as possible in an attempt to save civilians and likely! had to use her binding vow to defeat a particularly strong curse, maybe even pulled out some new techniques. either way, tsugumi looks to be on the cusp of death bc she's barely conscious, wounded and bleeding and unable to heal herself bc she doesn't have the energy anymore.

for the first time in her life, miyuna is genuinely scared.

curses haven't ever frightened miyuna; why would they when she's only ever viewed them as potential partners? when she's never had to face them alone, always accompanied by her tsukumogami? and she's too young to have known much loss. honestly, she's just been lucky to not have lost anyone up until this point. but tsugumi's down, smiling and trying to reassure her with the little strength she has, and miyuna feels sick. she feels sick and tears start pouring down her face before she realizes it. is she gonna lose tsugumi? tsugumi who is so reliable and strong? who took miyuna under her wing despite being opposed to it at first? who encouraged her, looked after her like a sister, cared for her despite how annoying she can be?

tsugumi lives in the end bc miyuna takes her to shoko, but i think more than the rest of the shibuya incident, this moment is what shakes miyuna's resolve and beliefs. she was absolutely powerless to help tsugumi. it's not just she didn't get there in time -- miyuna felt the presence of that curse, and there was no way in hell she could have fought that thing. and all she could do was retreat with tsugumi and pray she got her to shoko in time. in that moment, it becomes painfully obvious that miyuna has had too much confidence in herself and others. it becomes painfully obvious that she's not nearly strong enough to change anything, much less protect anyone.

this is so long asdfg but yeah! unwavering miyuna wavers and probably hesitates prior to and during the culling games. it's noticeable when she fights bc she doesn't just go for it like she would have in the past. now, miyuna is scared and doubts herself -- until she encounters her incarnated ancestor, at least.

[redpenship]

jumper (2/14)

Sand is not kind to Shadow's air shoes.

For the sixteenth time that day, he is thrown violently into the desert floor after too much sand slipped into his shoes' jets and stopped their propulsion. He rolls once, twice, until he comes to a stop in the scorching sand.

With a hiss, he scrambles to his feet and shakes the sand out of his fur. All of this is terrible. Those stupid motherfuckers at the colony are going to pay for dumping him out here to die.

Don't they know killing him is really hard? If he were as fragile as everyone else, he probably would've kicked the bucket a long time ago. Does his existence as the Ultimate Lifeform mean nothing to them?

Whatever. He's sure that they'll realize the error of their ways when he returns to kill them all.

After an hour or so of walking, he finds a rock formation flat enough to sit on. Some of it is covered by the shade of a boulder, so he might even be able to rest out of the sun for a bit! How lucky.

Once he's settled in, he takes off his air shoes and carefully cleans the sand from the jets. The process takes at least twenty minutes per shoe. Really, it might be worth walking the rest of the way if it means he won't have to clean out his shoes twice an hour. He'll reach the colony later than planned, but at least he'll be less frustrated by the time he gets there.

He straps his feet back into his shoes, and then hears a sonic boom in the distance.

Oh, now isn't this just perfect.

He follows a cloud of kicked up sand with his eyes as Sonic approaches his location. Like usual, it takes no time at all for the blue hedgehog to get there.

Sonic skids to a stop next to him. He pants with exhaustion and looks at the sky with apprehension. "The sun is really killer these days, huh?"

Shadow gives him a level look. "You could say that."

In a stupid gesture, Sonic feigns wiping sweat off his forehead and then finally meets eyes with Shadow. It's stupid because hedgehogs sweat through their bellies. Why bother even going through the motion if it has no benefit?

"Whew! Anyways, long time no see." Sonic breaks eye contact to survey the area. "Is it really like this everywhere? I thought the colony people were lying when they said the whole world was a desert."

"They're telling the truth. The world fucking sucks."

For a moment, Sonic looks like he wants to say something. He seems to decide against it with a small shake of his head, then awkwardly leans back on his heels. A few minutes of silence pass before he speaks again.

"Are you going to kill them?" Sonic asks. He says it casually, with the levity of someone inquiring about another person's weekend plans.

Shadow raises an eyebrow at the question. "Will you stick around long enough to stop me?"

Sonic clicks his tongue and puts a hand on his hip. "You're not allowed to ask me that."

No matter how important the rules of their interactions are, they can be pretty annoying. "Fine. Then yes, I do plan to kill them. They deserve it."

He wonders how Sonic feels about it. If he met the same colonists that Shadow did, then he would know all about their post-apocalyptic slave empire. He would also know that Shadow had been banished after attempting to destroy them.

Sonic probably has very strong thoughts about that colony. Perhaps those thoughts carry more weight than his personal ethical philosophy.

Like usual, Sonic does not make these feelings known. He simply nods and says, "Yeah, okay."

Shadow gives him a once-over, then stares at him for so long that Sonic becomes visibly uncomfortable. Still, he does not let up. There is something about this situation that feels wrong. There is something missing.

Finally, he finds it.

"You're a bad actor," he says with a smirk. Sonic's eyes widen a little in surprise. "You've gone farther than this before. This entire world is the result of a massive ecological disaster--a personal nightmare scenario for you, I'm sure. Shouldn't you be freaking out right now?"

Sonic groans. He holds up a hand. "Stop. Just--stop. You are breaking so many rules right now."

Still, Shadow pushes. "If you're going to do this, you need to get better at acting. You can't make it so easy for me to figure this stuff out."

"These are your rules too, Shadow." Sonic is now visibly frustrated; his arms are crossed over his chest and one of his ears twitches in annoyance. "You have to follow them as much as I do."

With a shrug, Shadow leans back and lays down on the rock. He closes his eyes and smiles. "Leave, Sonic. This isn't a good place for you."

It takes some time for Sonic to finally cave to Shadow's request. Without saying goodbye, he takes off in a cloud of sandy dust and disappears into the distance.

They don't really need to say goodbye. They will see each other again soon.

[theshiteraturepodcast]

The Dragon, the Princess, and the Navigator Knight

Hi, welcome to episode 2! It's been a busy week, but I'm functioning. So today's episode is named "The Dragon, the Princess, and the navigator knight"

“I do not wish to marry the prince.” The princess said, clearly on the edge of her tether. “Did I not make that clear the last three times I tried to run away?” She said venomously, turning away from the queen. 

“I do not understand why you protest so, dear. Marriage will be good for you! Once married, you have a kingdom, security, and responsibilities to ground you.” Marina said with a slight smile. 

“I already have a kingdom and security. You’re taking it away from me by sending me off to somewhere I don’t know.” Aurelia said, as if talking to a child. 

“I will admit it is difficult at first, even for me, but after you get used to it, and are ready for the role, it is a delight. You will be a lady of the high classes, living in utmost luxury, having your every want catered to.” Marina’s tone didn’t change. She kept up her slight smile, impervious to the emotion that rolled off her daughter. 

“And if my want is something else?” Aurelia asked sharply, “Will that be fulfilled?” 

“Anything, my dear, whatever your mind can conjure up!” The queen said reassuringly. She did not know what was about to go down. 

“Then, mother,” the princess said, “I wouldn’t like to marry at all! It’s quite simple, isn’t it?” 

Her mother made a noise of disapproval. “Now now, darling, that’s not exactly ladylike, is it? And look at your rooms, so untidy, unkempt. I’ll send someone in to clean them while you’re asleep! You need to start behaving, Aurelia!” She said, and with a swish of her skirts, left the room. 

“Thea!” Aurelia snapped, calling out to her best friend and personal assistant. She was getting out of here, ladylike be damned. 

“Yes, your highness?" Thea asked softly, apprehensive. 

"You can call me by name, thea, we're alone now. I need a way to get out of here." Aurelia whispered, deathly quiet but cutting. "They're all up on their high horse, marriage and kids and everything. What they don't realize is how someone wouldn't want that. Duties. Responsibilities. Kingdoms. I'm fine with it all, but is it too much to ask to be treated as more than a prop to a legacy?"

"There is a way, but it's quite dangerous."

"And what is it?" 

"Well, I've heard of a dragon who's in the trade. Has an innocents policy, a paper trail thing, and a pretty extensive safety policy, but specifically takes away princesses to the land beyond the mountains when they ask him. I have it on good authority that he goes out of his way to protect people like us."

"How do you know?" 

"He casts an illusion over royalty, but since the commoners are less strict about these things, he just comes and goes. I’ve seen him at barbecues here and there."

"Are they? I never really knew that." The princess smiled. "How about I just live with you, then? We will live as common people in another kingdom, together till the end of our days!"

"Only dragons can disable the magic around you that enables everyone to know where you are. You'll be found out within a day or two at best. Besides, you can't take anyone along. People can find out! The dragon could then be killed, all the princesses taken back, and the hideout would be impossible to use." 

"I cannot believe the lengths they would go to! It would be heartbreaking leaving you, though. Fine. Send a message to this dragon. No wait. I'll do it myself. When I am there, I will have to do most things by myself."

And that's how, two days later, Thea was hauling two buckets of meat up the stairs to Aurelias tower. That was also how words smeared in meat appeared on the roof of the castle.

One week later, a dragon stood by her window. 

"Princess, I got your message. We don't have much time, so listen carefully. You will be sitting on my back, holding on tight. Halfway along, all the magic that bound you and told everything about you to the king and queen will be taken off. You may feel a jolt then, but don't panic. It's perfectly safe. Don't let go of my spike under any circumstance. You’ll be good to go.” 

Aurelia turned to Thea, who just fastened her cloak and kissed her softly. “I’ll miss you,” She said. 

“Don’t.” Aurelia dismissed, and hiking up her nightgown, climbed up onto the windowsill, got on the dragon’s back, waved to Thea one last time, and rode off into the darkness. 

Just like the dragon said, she felt a jerk halfway through. And soon enough, she felt free. Free and happy. And even though she was sitting on the back of an extremely slim dragon, holding onto his spikes by her fingers, she felt more secure. 

No one could spy on her. 

No one knew where she was. 

She was out of there. 

She was safe. 

The wind whipped against her face as the dragon flew. Almost as if she was a little baby, it seemed to sing to her, and adjusting her grip, she leaned against the dragon’s spike with her full weight. The wind lulled her to sleep in no time. When she woke up, she was sore. The bed wasn’t soft, and the flight was rough, and the cave was rocky, but it was clean and well-lit. A small stand of every conceivable type of clothing stood by the wall, with a suit of armour by the door. Her bed was a small one, and her room was windowless, but she felt more at ease in this dragon’s lair than her own house. That probably should make a point about her castle, but she didn’t have time to think about that. She got out of bed and walked out of the room. The dragon was curled up around a rock, his tongue smoking lightly. 

“Good morning, Sir!” She greeted him, unsure of how to address him. 

“Hello, my dear. I didn’t know what you would like to wear, or what you would like to do, but I have set out a few options. What would you like to eat? We’ll have to hunt of course, but I can do it for you till you get used."

When the dragon was so careful of her needs as to ask her what she wanted, and how, she sat down on the hard stone settees with a thump and promptly began to cry. After a lifetime of choices being made for her, everyone telling her how to act and behave, she was finally allowed to do as she liked. She drew in a shaky breath, and looked up. The Dragon stretched out a bony wing to caress her back. And thus, the first day of her new lease of life began. 

Her life wasn't a bed of roses anymore. It was gruelling, hard work, but she learnt to enjoy doing everything herself. It was a new definition of independence. She also started wearing different types of clothes. She learnt to fight. She also learnt that fighting and other things deemed feminine by her mother could go together. And one day, when it all got too much, she took a shard of glass and hacked off her long hair. She learnt to love herself. She also learned to live without Thea, the fresh wound now becoming an old ache. There wasn't a price demanded for her freedom. But, she thinks, Thea was the price for her freedom. Her freedom for the cost of never seeing Thea again. They would probably question her, scare her within an inch of her life till she confessed about their plan. But she assumed Thea was gone, and carried on.

One day, a prince arrived at the foot of the mountain, wounded. He clearly did not know how to navigate through the wilderness. The only things that pointed toward him being a prince were the royal insignias on his shoulders. Upon checking, she discovered a fact that she thought would ruin her life. He was the same prince she was told she’d be marrying. So, taking out a dagger, she holds it against his neck and pushes him to the wall. 

“I am not coming back with you. Understand?” She says with clenched teeth, her knuckles straining as she tightens her hold on the dagger. 

His forehead was covered with a rapidly growing sheen of sweat. "I'm not- I'm not asking you to." He said with a shaky but calm voice. 

"Why are you here then?"

"I need help. They'll catch me any moment."

"Wait here, let me call the dragon. And if you even think of moving anywhere, I will make good on that dagger promise."

The Dragon slithered into the passageway, poking out his forked tongue at the prince. He had many snake-like habits. Asking Aurelia to bring him the medical kit from her room, he undid the location spells. A group of soldiers in the forest was now going to be aimlessly running around in circles. Except one knight. This knight is going to have significance later. Just know that one knight has not lost the trail.

Now that Aurelia discovered that the prince was just a normal person, rather than an idea put into her head, she found it quite easy to make friends with him. He was just like her, pushed into the roles deemed appropriate because he was a prince. He had a sense of humour, a knack with the ladle, and had a fresh, ever-smiling disposition. He also missed greatly, just like she missed her Thea

She did not know how many days passed living in their little bubble. She did so many things that the passage of time seemed to vanish. Her face had laugh lines, and it didn't seem like the world was ending when she got something on her face. Her room was hers not just in name but in terms of how she could keep it as well. Her friends, other rescued princesses, some princes happy with each other, content not to live life in a constant stage of vigilance, mountain creatures, smaller dragons, were the friends she made herself. 

All that changed when a knight turned up on her doorstep. She thought no one could know where she was!! What was he doing here?? She rushed to a vantage point on a rocky ledge, and taking out her bow, she pointed it at the knight, aiming for the weak spot in the armour. However, she saw the prince running toward him and stopped short. Who was he?? 

On seeing him, the knight had taken off his helmet, falling prey to intense head-ruffling. She got down from where she was standing, striding closer to see what happened. 

Dylan, the prince, was smiling at something the knight said to him. Though this was something that would seem ordinary, she watched in awe as they seemed to be perfectly in sync. Then the knight said something that made Dylan shriek with laughter and jump into the knight's arms.

The knight's eyes focused on her and he let Dylan go. 

"Who's she?" He asked. 

"Aurelia. Pleased to meet you." She said. "And you are?"

"Diar," He said, standing tall. 

"How did you find me?" 

"I just knew," Diar smiled. 

"And what are you going to tell everyone when I refuse to come back?" Dylan asked him, his head cocked to the side. 

"Well-" He started, smiling, "I will go back, bruised and bloodied. I tell them that I was too late, that the dragon just killed you in a merciless massacre, and to atone for my sins, I will be retiring to the land beyond the mountains." He ended with a poker face that elicited a laugh out of both of them. 

"Hey- if- if you're going back, can you bring back a person?"

"Who is it?"

"Well, she's called Thea, and-" she started, telling him about how she told her about the dragon, and how Thea was a constant cause of concern for her now. 

"Say no more! I'll find her." Diar said gallantly. 

True to his word, the next time he came back, he was carrying an unconscious figure on a horse. Thea.

Thea was bruised and battered, but she was now with Aurelia, and may be, things would work out for the better. 

As Dylan curled into Diar's side against the backdrop of the mountain sunset, the dragon worked on relaxing his terms, and Aurelia looked at Thea's sleeping body on the bed, a surge of hope shot through them. Their new life seemed exciting and this was a great way to begin it.

[doctorgerth]

Love, feel free to ignore this if this was not correct or came out a bit detailed! For a suggestion I am thinking of something like how would non-touchy people, the top three I can think of being, Law, Killer, and Zoro (of course you can switch characters if you can think of any more "aloof" characters who would fit this suggestion better!) deal with a partner whose love language is physical touch?

a/n: this really hit home as someone whose love language is physical touch, and I am so obsessed with this idea, hence why it ended up so long (I'm sorryyyy) 🤧 It’s just cute to think about “no touchy” people actually loving sweet touches from their s/o <3 might have ended up a lil ooc? hope you enjoy it anyway!

featuring: Zoro, Law, Killer + gn!reader

warnings: soft soft soft with only a teensy bit of angst

WITH A PARTNER WHOSE LOVE LANGUAGE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH

ZORO —

of the three, I think Zoro would be the most readily accepting of an s/o whose love language is physical touch simply because he’s actually used to physical affection. of course it’s more platonic from his crewmates, but still, he’s no stranger to hugs, cuddles, hand-holding, and other forms of touching. plus he’s pretty handsy himself when in a relationship!

that’s not to say he isn’t a little bewildered the first time you express physical affection. after all, he didn’t realize even the simplest of touches could feel like that. he might be apprehensive towards your advances at first, but it’s only because he doesn’t know how to process the way the feeling of your hand squeezing his so adoringly makes his heart thump wildly in his chest. his hands are really sweaty and he’s so awkward about it but it’s endearing!!

he becomes much more comfortable quicker than you’d think. receiving and eventually offering physical affection becomes second nature to him as the relationship progresses. now remember he’s still a little dense, so you might have to spell it out for him if you’re needing a bit more than what he’s been offering. do so and he might grumble about it, but when it comes down to it, his arms are always open for holding you tightly. though he’s far less nervous-sweaty, the effects of your body against his remains the same and he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to shake the warm fuzzies he feels when you touch him so fondly. not that he’d want to.

likes pda in small doses. can handle hand-holding and a small kiss here and there, but he’s not going to drape himself over you, or make out with you in front of others (unless he needs to prove a point). but he is known to have a protective arm wrapped around you when you sit together! some of his favorite forms of affection include sleep cuddles, back scratches, and when you lay your legs across his lap. also the way you shiver when the pads of his fingers trace random patterns along your bare skin never fails to make him smile. it’s simply heartwarming to know he has the same effects on you.

he’ll tease you for being clingy, but you soon learn that he has a clingy side himself! after a rough day or when he’s feeling drained, he’s known for seeking you out to receive some mood-boosting cuddles. also plz he’s domestic as hell and loves to give you a quick peck to your cheek/forehead/top of your head as a greeting or departure, or even just randomly because you’re too cute. he can also be a pretty clingy sleeper. claims he can’t sleep when you’re not tucked into his side for “safety reasons” but it’s only because he gets the best sleep when he feels you right next to him (sorry not sorry if you get sweaty easy). overall, being with a partner whose love language is physical touch works well for him because I think physical touch is high up there on his own love language list!

LAW —

much like Zoro, he’s kinda used to physical affection from his loving crewmates, yet he tries his damndest to prove he “doesn’t like to be touched”. all arguments are fruitless once he meets you and discovers your love language - because let’s face it, this man is touch-starved.

though he’s quick to realize this, he’s still unable to accept your advances without being stiff and awkward. he can’t help it when your touch reminds him of long-forgotten moments; repressed memories of loved ones expressing some of the same affections. it’s a bittersweet feeling, so it takes Law a little bit of time to get comfortable. even though it doesn’t involve touching, Law expresses affection with you physically through his eye contact. longing stares from across the way, focused eye contact when you are speaking, or a secret language spoken through flickering golden irises is much easier and tends to have the same effect!

Law isn’t too big on pda as he has a “reputation to uphold”, but also like Zoro, he will use whatever means necessary to prove a point with zero shame. will groan and complain, but he secretly loves it when you grab his arm and cling to him. or when you run your fingers through his disheveled hat hair and massage his scalp. or when you whine and beg to cuddle him in his lap while he works at his desk. or when you grab his face gently between your soft hands and kiss him, miraculously making it feel like the first time every time. he rolls his eyes and teases you, but inside his heart is doing back flips in his chest!

some of his favorite forms of physical affection include discreet hand-holding (oh the hand-brushing tension!), impromptu massages, and small touches that notify you of each other’s presence. for Law, he much prefers the subtlety rather than grand gestures of physical intimacy. not that he doesn’t entertain the desire for cuddle sessions or passionate kisses from time to time, he just finds comfort in the small exchanges. anything more than that can be a little overwhelming if he’s not in the right mood, so you two have to find a balance. if he ever does recoil from your advances, you just have to remember to not take it personally! he really does love you, but poor guy can only handle so much.

overall, he’s quite accepting of your love language as it brings him a sense of love he hasn’t felt in a long time. though he might not want to give or receive physical affection nearly as often as you do, he's good about making up for lost opportunities in privacy - refueling your touch meter with loving embraces and the softest kisses, because some days, he needs those moments just as much as you. and thanks to you, he becomes more open to receiving affection (still within limits) which his crew is eternally grateful for and will take advantage of fully! <3

KILLER —

of the three, Killer is probably the least prepared for an s/o who is physically affectionate. he’s had a hard life, and he’s not one to easily trust those outside of his pirate family, so it’s unlikely he’s really received any forms of physical love throughout his life.

is honestly a bit jumpy at first, just out of instinct, the first few times you make any physical advances. it takes him some time to ease up, let the trust build. he’s not used to being so vulnerable and doesn’t know how to properly express himself when being embraced so lovingly. he loves it, he really does, he’s just a little insecure! 

when he gets more comfortable with receiving, and you give him lots of reassurances, he starts to realize that something feels almost natural when he gives it back to you. like holding you in his arms somehow feels like home, no matter where the two of you are. then soon enough, it becomes habitual to make physical advances towards you throughout the day. whether it’s a good morning kiss, his arm casually draped over your shoulder, or smacking your butt in passing - he eventually finds confidence in expressing his love for you through physical acts! and he is more than happy to show off with a little bit of mild pda.

some of his favorite forms of affection include holding you in his lap, the types of hugs that last a little too long, and when you play with his hair; most especially when you brush and style it! he’s a nuzzler - loves to nuzzle his unmasked face into the warmth of your neck and sneak in a few kisses. also (& yes I know I’ve talked about this before) he fully believes that play wrestling and rough-housing go hand in hand with physical affection. he’s a violent guy surrounded by violent friends, so he’s going to want to put you in a chokehold for fun. throws you over his shoulder and body slams you onto the bed because he loves you and it always leads to silly, playful kisses. <3 lovessss it when you “fight” back or sneak a move on him!

he’s never given much thought to what his “love language” is, but he now knows that physical touch is high up on the list thanks to you! he’s never been the best with romantic words, so you helping him become fluent in the art of physical affection has been truly beneficial for the both of you. he adores that he doesn’t have to say a word, just a simple touch from either of you can speak volumes - especially things he’s still a little too embarrassed to say out loud!

If you enjoyed this, let me know by leaving a like, comment, and/or reblog! Any form of support is always appreciated. 🌸

[theclandestineclementine]

What's a scenario you can imagine with Eddie being insecure about his weight or size or shape?

-🕳️🐄

I can see it happening in a couple different scenarios, and it's all different for any of the ships he's in.

With steve, eddie realizes it when he cant fit into Steve's clothes anymore or when his just drape over steve. It gives him like a jolt realization, he knew he had been gaining. But he didnt realize he put so much weight on so fast. He starts withdrawing a bit from steve, moving his hands away from his belly or side rolls where he feels it's more noticeable.

Steve, though pure of heart and dumb of ass, realizes something's up and asks eddie about it.

"Eds you keep moving my hand, what's that about babe?"

Eddie's face is just slowly getting redder and redder and he tries to deny it, his eyes shifting away from steve, "it's nothing."

Steve looks at him and reaches for his belly again and eddie starts to reach for his hand and catches himself.

He sighs and glances at steve before murmuring "I've just gotten real f-f," he stumbles over the word, it's a bad word after all.

"Fat?" Steve supplies with an earnest face.

Eddie flinches at the word, but steve reaches up and cradles his face, "fat is not a bad word, it doesnt make you bad or less than or undeserving of anything. It's just a descriptive word, like brunette or shy."

Eddie's lower lip trembles slightly, "but steve-"

Waits for eddie to continue and when he cant he steps in, "it just means there's more of you I get to adore, that there wasnt enough of you in this life."

"But we're already so different, I'm a freak, you're the king of hawkins high, this just makes it more obvious, why the fuck would you want to be with some fat pathetic freak?" Eddie's words are like little knives into Steve's heart and steve waits for eddie to catch his bearings before speaking again.

"Eddie, I love you for all that you are, I know you may need some reassurance, and I'll be happy to give it to you. But trust me when I say that I love you, all of you, forever, it's you and me. Doesnt matter what happens, lose weight, gain weight, long hair, short hair, any of it. I'll still love you the same, except I'll love the parts of yourself you dont like even more."

Eddie fucking melts and steve spends the rest of the evening just lamenting to him about how much he loves every part of him from the stray curl on his forehead to his webbed middle toes.

With billy (really with steddilly) eddie realizes how vastly different he is from Steve's slimmer frame to Billy's muscularly thicker one. And he notices how they both work out and he wonders if he should too, they dont want to look like me, why would they want me looking like I do now?

He asks to join on a workout and Billy and steve are both surprised but they bring him along. It's not until eddie nearly pukes playing ball that they clock something is wrong.

They bring a folding chair to eddie and he looks at it apprehensively worried he'll bust it but he decides he doesnt care.

He sits and it creaks.

"Alright munson, what's going on with you?" Billy asks glancing between steve and eddie wondering if steve knew.

Steve just as out of tune tilts his head to the side, "yeah Eds what's up?"

Eddie doesnt want to meet either of their gazes but crosses his arms over his soft chest and mumbles "I dont look like you."

Steve and Billy look from Eddie to one another in confusion.

"Yeeeah?" Steve asks.

Billy just raises an eyebrow, aching for a cigarette to calm his nerves.

"I dont look like either of you, steve you're a fucking reed and billy is like a fucking beefcake. I'm just not like either of you and I dont see how you like that. You dont want to look like me or you wouldnt be working out all the fucking time."

Steve and Billy are both surprised.

Billy crouches to eddie and fixes him with a blue eyed stare, "eddie, I dont work out because I dont want to look like you. I work out because it's a stress relief for me and helps with my anger issues. I work out a lot because I have a lot of anger."

Steve nods, "and it's not that I dont want to look like you either. It just keeps me to where I can run around that pack of kids all the time." Steve pauses and looks at billy then back to eddie, he crouches next to billy at Eddie's level, "we adore how you look, theres no one type of beauty."

Eddie snorts with derision and steve elaborates, "all of us are different from the others that's what makes our love so beautiful. " steve murmurs softly.

Billy nods in agreement.....

May ggo more into that but my brain just short circuited (since I'm at work ) so may elaborate more later but I'm blank.

Basically whenever eddie is insecure his lover/s whomever they are will reassure him that he is loved beyond all measure and is gorgeous how he is but also be supportive of whatever he wants.

It's all about consent people.

[sirensmojo]

"Crossroads" - Michael Gray x Reader

Warnings: Big fluff.

Summary: You visit Michael in the hospital for the first time in years after his departure from your village.

*Masterlist*

A/N: this is my first Michael Gray fic, plz take that into consideration...

“There’s a girl asking to see you, Sir.” The nurse informed Michael, “Do you accept the visit?”

“Who is it?” His eyes lifted up from the white bedsheet he was staring at, blankly.

“A certain Y/N.”

At the announcement of your name, his dull eyes lightened up, but it didn’t last. His mind suddenly got clouded with the hundreds of questions he usually was asking himself when alone.

Were you alright? Did you get out of town as you promised each other, were you still visiting his “mother” on Wednesday's afternoons, were you angry at him for leaving you?

“Yeah, let her in.” His answer was full of apprehension, making the nurse unsure of letting you in. She stayed there watching as the man shifted position, trying to get comfortable as he knew your reunion wouldn’t be easy. “I said let her in,” Michael squinted his eyes at the nurse seeing she was still there, and that’s when she got out.

He exhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself but he couldn’t escape the tremendous flow of emotions washing over him.

You were his first love, the first girl he ever saw as a woman, even if you were still quite young. He just couldn't ignore the way he felt when he used to be with you, even after all this time, even after going out with other girls, your face never left him.

“Michael.” You hesitantly entered, unsure of the fact coming in here was a good idea.

You were in town for quite long now, but never took the time to search for him. Not because you didn't care, it was the opposite.

He had never kept from you his wish to leave your little village and you thought that maybe having you in his life now wouldn't bring him anything but memories of a place he wanted to forget.

But as the time passed, you realized you couldn't get him out your mind, no matter how hard you tried. No matter what you did, it all came back to him in the end.

His smile, laugh, touch and love, you missed everything.

You knew very well the Peaky Blinders, just like every Birmingham residents, and you knew he was one of them.

You used to tease him back then about him leaving the village after burning it or something, and here you were, him being part of a gang. This couldn't fit your Michael best.

He was a very intelligent, talented, kind and good person, but you always knew that deep down, this tranquillity was hiding a darker side, a deeper meaning of who he was.

It wasn't a surprise at all for you when you heard about his new life, you were even quite happy that he could express himself and evolve in a favourable environment.

He seemed preoccupied with something but his eyebrows unknitted at the sight of your face.

Your finger waved curls were perfectly falling on each side of your head, and Michael’s eyes were falling over your olive designed dress, tassels falling right under your knees.

He always loved this green on you, and that only hit you now.

The aggressively sexy green dress you told him you would, one day, wear in the streets so everybody could be shocked and talk about how a woman should dress.

If you remembered this detail this morning you wouldn’t have come in this dress. Now, Michael was looking at you with those gleaming eyes and you knew that when his eyes will lift up to yours, you’ll find in them the same sparks behind his iris as when you were younger.

Maybe coming in here truly was a bad idea.

“Y/N,” he kept a stern face but you were reading him like a book. His hands were clammy, his jaw clenched, his shoulders tensed along with all his muscles.

You could see he was as nervous as you, and you also knew that if you could read him that easily he probably could do the same with you.

Michael was sitting on his bed straight like an “I”, and that’s only when you sat at his side that he leaned backwards on his pillows.

That idea of knowing each other despite time and distance was what helped you to breathe out the air you didn't realize you were holding, leaving your chest less heavy.

You didn’t dare to stay in his eyes, too occupied searching for your cigarettes anyway. You got one out of their case and handed it to the man that was shamelessly staring at you.

“You changed.” Were his first words, and you couldn’t blame him.

Michael grabbed the cigarette and stuck it in between his fine lips before you came lightening up the tip of it for him.

When he left you were still growing up, rough look and only wearing the elegant blue pants your mother accepted you to wear. You were obsessed with pants and used to always argue about the fact women couldn’t wear them.

“Not a bit, and you haven’t either.” You teased him. It was obvious he changed, even the way he was talking was different, and you couldn’t even imagine what else in him had changed if the external changes were that evident.

His eyes drifted to you once again, what a surprise it was for him to see you dressed up as you were with your high heels.

Men have looked at you before, but the way Michael laid eyes on you was different, you found fondness in it, perhaps love? Because after all, there was still love between you, right?

Else his chest wouldn't raise that quickly and he wouldn't flutter his eyes when you would catch him staring at you.

He chuckled and offered you a warm smile before puffing on his cig. He got lost in thoughts for a moment, doing the french inhale.

Nevertheless, Michael seemed so much more distant than what you remember. Either he was staring, either he was blanking looking into the void.

He never talked too much either, but presently his silence could kill you. You just wanted to feel his hands all over you again, but you couldn't jump on him as if your story happened yesterday.

The atmosphere tensed, “I knew you would start smoking.” You let out in a huff. “Mrs Johnson was so wrong about you, it wasn’t me corrupting you, you always had it in your blood.” You concluded, the words escaping from your mouth as you were failing to stop them.

You got a cig for yourself and Michael watched you carefully, following each of your movements as if you were to disappear in a cloud of smoke if he’d just blinked.

“No,” He clenched his jaw and shook his head as his eyes darkened, "I found it here."

"Find you?"

He nodded slightly as puffing on his cig. 'You don't ask why I'm here?" He raised a brow towards you.

"I read the news, you're a peaky boy now." You winked at him.

"It's not what you think, Y/N." He was chuckling, shaking his head to both sides.

"Well, my Micheal wearing suits and being part of a dirty business, that's what I think and that's what it is. And that's sexy." You were so concentrated imagining him in his suit you didn't realize you called him yours, but Gray noticed it, which led to his lips stretching into a smile.

"I knew you were about to tell it." He flicks his fingers, looking at you with squinting eyes.

You took advantage of that exchange to look at his face, examining each of his features and internalizing everything you missed during these years apart.

"You're sexy Michael, deal with it already." You stated outright.

You always liked that about him. He wasn’t talking much, not with his words at least, but his eyes bore enough emotions by themselves. If they could talk they would spill hundreds of words on the paper with no difficulty.

"Yeah? Well, I prefer when you tell that in other circumstances."

His words echoed in your head and you didn't know if he was making a sexual reference or if he just woke up the horny you.

You tilted your head to the side a second, puffing on your cig before the tip of your fingers instantly reached for his soft skin. You were rubbing the side of his face gently with your knuckles when you remembered something.

“I left the village over a year after you, my mother died and I just couldn’t stay there, you know.” Talking was your way of coping with the fact you were reunited with your teenage love.

“I’m sorry.” His facial expression changed, he now understood why you were here. Not that he was unhappy about your visit, but he wouldn't have thought you’d ever leave this village.

“Everything I know is there” was the answer you gave him every time he encouraged you to go to the cities to try to make a living out of clothing. London, Birmingham, whatever, as long as you would be able to be who you wanted to be, and live your passion fully.

You wanted to make clothes and Michael had always been your number one fan, solely because he was the only one to see the gorgeous dresses you were sewing, but still your number one fan.

“I’m currently working to be able to own my workshop. So everything’s fine.”

He peeked at your lips while you were doing the french inhale, but ended up staring at your lips as if they were mesmerizing him.

You ignored that as well as you ignored all the signs he still felt things for you since you came into his room.

“Michael, the reason for my visit is family. I Know you found your biological mother and all, but you got another family out there, right?” You got up and joined the table to crush your cigarette into the ashtray, a vain attempt to prepare you for what you were about to announce. “Mr Johnson’s gone... I heard he died in his own bed.”

You threw him a glance, you wanted to know what he was thinking at this moment because his face was unreadable. Even though you knew him more than he knew himself, you grew apart from each other, and here was standing in front of you, a version of Michael you did not know.

He was blankly looking at the void in front of him, fisted clenched around the sheets.

You got closer to him, putting down the ashtray on the nightstand and sat down at his side again, but this time you slipped one of your hands into his as your other one, slowly turned his head towards you, so you could look at him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered as you were nearing your face to his.

It’s when you felt a little squeeze on your hand that you completely dared to give yourself to him, leaning a slow kiss over his lips.

You then pulled away, but before you could go anywhere, you felt his free hand at the back of your head, pulling you closer for another kiss, this one being feverish.

Of course, he was still loving you. It couldn’t be any different.

His hand shifted from your head to your cheek, his thumb rubbing it softly. His tender fondles contrasted perfectly with the roughness of his kisses. They became needier and needier, as if he waited to do this for a long time.

You both finally let go of the other’s lips when your lungs were screaming for air, your lids directly opening into the other’s eyes.

Here we go again, that twinkling light dancing at the back of his deep blue eyes.

“Something actually changed there,” You caressed his lips with your index, “I didn’t remember your lips tasting this way, neither you being that much of a good kisser.” Your suave voice murmured inches away from him.

You were so close you could feel his warm breath against the sensitive skin of your lips.

“Well, teach me.” His voice aroused something inside of you, and you found yourself squeezing your thighs together.

PEAKY BLINDERS TAG: @retromafia

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