#⋮ ❛ *writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* i am losing my sense of humanity . › ( ooc : psa )

[qverdia]

ooc. my dog head butted me so hard in the nose that my septum hurts and i look like i got mugged. I’ll try to get to some stuff tonight but that entirely depends on how Brave™️ i am about it tonight ( if i sneeze i fear it may be over for me entirely boys )

[ninadove]

Adrien textposts 💚🐈‍⬛

Some of these have been ready for over a year. Don’t know why I hadn’t posted them. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS

Alt text below:

A picture of Adrien’s gigantic bedroom. Caption: “"damn bitch you live like this?" but its a full white minimalistic clean bedroom” (Link)

Adrien on the cover of a magazine. Caption: “*writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity” (Link)

Adrien losing to Marinette at video games. Caption: “I crave the most innocent parts of a relationship. Like holding hands and forehead kisses and being able to tell someone how much I absolutely adore them. // and absolutely slaughtering them at mario kart” (Link)

Chat Noir being silly. Caption: “I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such” (Link)

Adrien and Plagg debriefing after Kuro Neko. Caption: “them: tell us a fun fact about yourself! // me: i don’t know a single fact about myself let alone a fun one” (Link)

Chat Blanc charging his cataclysm. Caption: “Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day” (Link)

Claw Noir holding Chat’s cataclysm-charged hand to his chest. Caption: “Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value” (Link)

Adrien and Claw Noir joining hands in the empty pool. Caption: “IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU” (Link)

Felix confronting Adrien in Risk. Caption: “awesome behavior dude, seems really natural. do you mind if i mimic it to appear human” (Link)

[watarfallar]

If I had a nickel for every time I posted an incorrect quotes dump, I'd have a lot of nickles!

BigB: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18? Mumbo: BigB, stop trying to get drugs. BigB: Don't suppress my interests.

Lizzie: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is? Jimmy: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

Tango: Don’t stay up all night, Ren. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Scar: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Gem, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Etho: Gem has no idea I’m high. Gem: You’re high? Etho: Oh, I’m sorry. Etho, leaning over to Grian: Gem has no idea I’m high.

Martyn: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?" Scar: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name. Cleo: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

Scar: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Grian: 'Prettiest Smile' Joel: 'Nicest Personality' Ren: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Cleo: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Impulse: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Pearl: So I’m the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger? Tango: Do I get to pick the finger?

Jimmy, talking to Impulse: Well Impulse, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Gem do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. Impulse: … Gem, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!

Pearl: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

BigB: Tango, what if there are monsters? Tango: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… BigB, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

Pearl: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Gem! *Neither of them die* Gem: … Pearl: … Gem: So do you wanna talk about somethi- Pearl: No thank you.

Bdubs: Aww, what's your dog's name? Tango: Spartacus. Bdubs, yelling to Martyn: TRY SPARTACUS! Martyn, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK! Tango: Bdubs: What's your favorite number?

Scott: Don’t say a word. Impulse: Fergalicious. Scott: Impulse, I said no words. Impulse: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.

Skizz, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Cleo: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Tango: How? Cleo: I need someone to take the fall. Tango: What did you do? Cleo: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Etho, from the other room: Oh my god. Cleo: ... Etho: OH MY GOD! Tango: Make it a hundred. Cleo: Deal.

Mumbo: So jellyshish- Grian, laughing: JELLYSHISH!? Mumbo: You know what I meant!

Cleo: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest* Skizz: We have heart? Cleo: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Etho: Do you even have a plan? Tango: This is the plan! I break you out, chaos, destruction, something something something, we win! Etho: Oh, of course, the old “something something something we win”. That’s a terrible plan!

Pearl: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Grian: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Pearl: Okay yeah thanks Grian, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

Scar: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Lily, writing in her diary using a glitter gel pen: "I am losing my sense of humanity."

[orions-quill]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

Thanks @honeybewrites and @leahnardo-da-veggie for the tag!

Rules: generate some incorrect quotes for your OCs (you can use the incorrect quote generator here)

These will be from Project Time and the secret project c: Just feeding Honey with some crumbs lol

Azin, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs? Blake: It means like in hand-to-hand combat. Azin: Ohhhh- Ryo: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

Azin: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.

Ryo: Hey, Blake? I need advice. Blake: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

Ryo: I couldn't do this without you, Azin. Azin: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

Azin: Did Blake just tell me they loved me for the first time? Ryo: Yeah, they did. Azin: And did I just do finger guns back? Ryo: Yeah, you did.

Ellie: We are gathered here today because someone- glares at Kevin's coffin -couldn’t stay alive!

Alex, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Nora: Well, Gabriel, is there anything you would like to say to Alex? Gabriel: How do I put this delicately? You’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you. Matt: How about we frame our statement with “When you do this, it makes me feel this”? Gabriel: When you live here, it makes me angry. Because you’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.

[svnnyd4ys]

(some of the) eah royals as incorrect quotes!

Blondie: Apple noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. Lizzie: This reminds me of the Apple who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. Blondie: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Apple.

!!!

Duchess: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Ashlynn: So you're just gonna wait until Briar is in danger and save them? Duchess: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Ashlynn: ... Ashlynn: You're insane.

!!!

Blondie: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Ashlynn: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Apple: *drinks straight from the tap* Duchess: *dehydrates* Lizzie: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Briar: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

!!!

Duchess: Fine! Judge all you want but... Duchess, points at Ashlynn: Married a lesbian. Duchess, points at Lizzie: Left a man at the altar. Duchess, points at Blondie: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer. Duchess, points at Apple: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire. Duchess, points at Briar: Lives in a box!

!!!

Apple: From now on we will be using code names. Apple: You can address me as Eagle One. Apple: Blondie is “been there done that”. Apple: Briar is “currently doing that”. Apple: Ashlynn is “it happened once in a dream”. Apple: Lizzie is “if I had to pick a wonderlandian". Apple: And Duchess is.. Apple: Eagle Two Duchess: Oh thank god.

!!!

*Briar comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Blondie’s bedroom.* Blondie: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Briar: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Briar: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep* Blondie: ...

!!!

Briar: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Duchess: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Ashlynn: More or less, I guess... Apple: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Lizzie: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Blondie: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

!!!

Duchess, reading the newspaper: Huh. Did you know Nickelodeon opened a hotel? Briar: Yeah, I went there once. There was a dead squirrel in the pool and I made some of Ashlynn cry by telling them it was the real Sandy.

!!!

Apple: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Duchess, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

!!!

Blondie: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Ashlynn: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Briar: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

!!!

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Apple: I will not let you down. Duchess: Sounds fun. Ashlynn: K. Blondie: No, I'm fucking not. Lizzie: Do I have to be? Briar: Please god, I am so tired.

!!!

Ashlynn: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Briar: Aren't you forgetting something? Ashlynn: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Briar's forehead before running out.* Briar: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

!!!

Briar: *sighs* Blondie: You bored? Briar: Yeah. Blondie: Wanna start drama for no reason? Briar: I thought you’d never ask.

!!!

Lizzie: Punch me in the face. Duchess: ...Punch you? Lizzie: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me? Duchess: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

!!!

Apple: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.

!!!

Briar: I'm hot, I’m tall, I'm gay, and I'm on my theatre kid arc.

!!!

Ashlynn, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

!!!

Duchess: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

!!!

Lizzie: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

!!!

Blondie: I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying! !!!

[scouts-thingsandrps]

Incorrect Across the Spiderverse Quotes

Hobie, texting: Miles, will you please go to sleep?

Miles, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

Hobie, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Hobie, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Miles, texting: I’m trying

Hobie, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH

Hobie, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

-

Miles, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

-

Gwen: I feel so burnt out.

Ember: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon.

Gwen: Are you gonna... assassinate me?

Ember: Well not if you’re expecting it.

-

Gwen: If I run and leap at Hobie, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.

Gwen, running towards Hobie: Coming in!

Hobie: No! I’m holding coffee!

Hobie: *Drops coffee and catches Gwen*

-

Lyla: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING.

Lyla: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SONGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY!

Miguel: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst.

Lyla: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help*

-

Pavitr: I wish I had more enemies.

Hobie: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

-

Gwen: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!

Hobie: And here we have a capitalist.

Miles: Did you just-

Pavitr: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

-

Pavitr: What does “take out” mean?

Gwen: Food.

Miles: Dating.

Ember: Murder.

Hobie: It can be all three if you’re brave enough

-

Miles: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Hobie: Several traffic violations.

Gwen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Ember: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Pavitr: Also, that’s not our car.

-

Ember: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.

Hobie, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

-

Miguel: Peter! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Peter B.: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

-

Jessica: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Miguel: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

-

Jessica: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Miguel: I don't want your advice.

Jessica: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

-

Miguel, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Jessica: Tea.

Miguel: Wrong. It's coffee.

-

Miles: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Hobie: Unless you're home alone.

Miles: Why are you like this?

-

Hobie: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*

Gwen: What are you making?

Hobie: A mistake.

-

Miles: *makes Pavitr a cup of tea but puts salt in it*

Pavitr: *sips tea*

Miles:

Pavitr: *finishes tea*

Miles: Didn't it taste bad?

Pavitr: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Miles, tearing up: Oh, okay.

-

Pavitr: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

-

Hobie: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

-

Miles (42): Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

-

Miles (42): How the hell are you still alive?

Ember: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

-

Gwen: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Pavitr: It’s just you.

-

Gwen, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?

Miles (42): It means like in hand-to-hand combat.

Gwen: Ohhhh-

Miles: Both of you get out of this kitchen.

[totaleclipse573]

No I will not stop *throws random incorrect quotes at you*

*But its mostly just Eclipse and Starline. Bc favorites*

Eclipse: Shadow ain't the problem this year.

Starline: When are you gonna get it? Shadow is ALWAYS the problem.

*Starline gets a phone call

Starline: Hello?

Shadow: Hi, is Eclipse there? I need to talk to him.

Starline: No, Eclipse is dead.

Eclipse, very much alive next to Starline:

STARLINE WHAT THE F--K-

Eclipse, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Eclipse: Accidentally indulged in too much 'free time', turns out I've been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Eclipse: ATTENTION: | HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Eclipse: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Eclipse: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Eclipse: What, I can't be in a bad mood? It's like people think, "Oh, Eclipse is such a nice person, Eclipse is so happy-go-lucky! Eclipse can't be in a bad mood!" Well, you know what? Eclipse CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Eclipse IS be in a bad mood.

Starline: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your d-mn lemons, what the h-ll am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Starline lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the person who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

Eclipse: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Eclipse: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

Starline: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Doleon: The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died.

Doleon: I will not yield.

Doleon: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

Doleon: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to his chest*

Terios: We have heart?

Doleon: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Starline: Are you listening to me?

Eclipse: *nods*

Starline: What did I just say?

Eclipse: *nods*

Starline: …

Doleon: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room.

Terios: It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.

Doleon, texting Starline: I'm a theif.

Starline: Thief.

Doleon: Theif.

Starline: I before E except after C.

Doleon: Theif.

Starline: NO.

Eclipse: Is this gaslighting? Am I being gaslit?

Starline: If I were gaslighting you, you'd never know it.

Eclipse: Is THAT gaslighting?

Starline: Shut up.

Terios: Wow, I really think I would've gotten along with young Doleon!

Doleon: I know. That's why I decided to change everything about my life.

Starline: Hey, @Eclipse, when you wake up you're legally obligated to agree with me.

Eclipse: But I don't…

Starline: I don't see why that should be my problem??

Eclipse: Strawberry milk doesn't taste like strawberry OR milk.

Shadow: Go the f--k to sleep Eclipse.

[7furhr8]

TLB incorrect quotes (pt9)

(Added Y/N and Laddie)

Y/N: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Michael: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Alan: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Grandpa: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Star: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Lucy: Mental stability, my old friend! Y/N: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Sam, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Y/N: Edgar, I want Sam gone ASAP! Edgar: If you say so… wait, shouldn’t we get someone to help us? Y/N: The only person that could help us is Dwayne and I don’t really trust him… Looks over to Dwayne Dwayne: If you’re gonna hide a body, clap your hands! clap clap If you’re gonna hide a body, clap your hands! clap clap

Alan: I think Marko is in trouble. Max: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Laddie: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

Paul: Sam, I got suspended from school… Sam: WHAT?!?! What did you do? Paul: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said “there is an idiot at the end of this ruler”. Sam: And…? Paul: I asked which end… Sam, unable to contain their laughter: Okay, you just made my day.

Max: What happened to David? Marko: He died. Max: He what? Marko: He died, but he's okay. Max: …Can you please clarify? David: Clarification is for the weak.

Michael: Are you coming to bed? David: I can't. This is important. Michael: What? David: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Marko: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

Grandpa: Why am I the bad guy? Lucy: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

[offwithhxrhead]

Incorrect Quotes ft. the Liddell-Van Dorts

. thought i'd give this generator a go and i absolutely am so glad i did .

Alice: Hello, I'm Alice. I work at a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on it in case I forget it. Very helpful, as that does happen.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Maddie* Maddie: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Maddie, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Victor: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Alice: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Cop: You ran a red light. Alice: So did you, hypocrite. Cop: I was following you. Alice: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver. Cop: Get out.

Victor: I've got a weapon, and I'm... admittedly VERY afraid to use it!

Alice: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! Alice: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!

Victor: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Maddie: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Maddie is such a nice person, Maddie is so happy-go-lucky! Maddie can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Maddie CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Maddie IS be in a bad mood.

Alice: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Alice: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

Victor: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Victor: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Maddie: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Alice: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Maddie. Victor: You just said it again. Maddie: Alice: I am not a role model.

Alice: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Maddie finally snaps and commits murder? Victor: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.

Maddie: Victor, Alice, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? Victor, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Alice is sitting atop: Oh nothing much. Alice: I love you too :)

Alice: Guys where did Maddie go? Victor: She got arrested. Alice: How the hell- Maddie: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

Alice: Maddie, what do you have? Maddie: A KNIFE! Alice: Okay, have fu- Victor: NO!

Maddie: Would you take a bullet for me? Victor: ...yes? *Alice angrily bursts into the room* Maddie: *running away* Great, thanks!

Maddie, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Maddie: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Victor: It was you the fuck. Maddie: It was I the fuck… Alice: Who cooks rice in a pan? Victor: She the fuck.

Victor: Why would anyone want to harm Maddie? Alice: Maybe because they met her?

Maddie: Mom, that’s disgusting. You’re only giving free stuff to beautiful people. Victor: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Alice: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Victor* How about a muffin on the house baby? Victor, giggling: I’m pretty.

Victor: You know, it’s fine to admit you were wrong. Maddie: *Sipping their drink after accidentally adding salt* I just like the way it tastes.

Victor: If we lose, you’re out of the will. Maddie: I was in the will?

Victor: Am I right, Maddie? Maddie: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Alice: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Maddie: Being a fish. Alice: Well, shit.

Alice: What the fuck is wrong with you?? Maddie: What? No good morning? Alice: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

Victor: *chokes on something* Maddie: Jeez, Victor, don't die on us. Victor: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

Maddie: You know what I’ve realized? Alice: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? Maddie: Nice try, anyways-

Maddie: Help! I’m drowning! Victor: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Maddie: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

Victor: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Alice: The dishes. Victor: Wh- Alice: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Alice: *sees someone doing something stupid* Alice: What an idiot. Alice: *realizes it's Maddie* Alice: Wait, that's MY idiot!

@thevalicemultiverse

[qverdia]

ooc . hello ! today was the last day of my finals and i don't go back to work until monday so i intend to do my starters and replies tomorrow I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT ANY OF YOU !!

[felix-lupin]

[Image ID: A series of images that are edited to look like twitter account pages of the Hazbin Hotel characters. 

Image 1: An image of a fake Sir Pentious account. His display name is sirrr pentious and his handle is @/egglord. His description reads "i lived bitches". His occupation is "former villain extraordinaire" and his location is "heaven". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: me as a lawyer: but your honor [14 consecutive pleading face emojis]

Tweet 2: sorry i was weird i want you

Tweet 3: hey (with the intention of building a machine together)

Tweet 4: I AM crying because people have sex. Please stop.

Image 2: An image of a fake Cherri Bomb account. Her display name is cherri (with a cherry emoji) and her handle is @/sugartits. Her description reads "ill demolish you <3". Her occupation is "anarchist" and her location is "the battlefield". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: i love observing peoples behavior. why do you act like that lmao.

Tweet 2: hell is so weirdddd wdym you live in lust??

Tweet 3: idk there's just something undiagnosed about him [heart eyes emoji]

Tweet 4: ive faced more peer pressure in my life in hell to watch anime than do drugs.

Image 3: An image of a fake Adam account. His display name is adam (with a blue checkmark) and his handle is @/dickmaster. His description reads "i write the rules bitch". His occupation is "first former man" and his location is "unknown". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: mfs don't read the Bible til it's time for a new tattoo

Tweet 2: bitches like me fall out of the sky u don't just bump into me

Tweet 3: are you praying again? how raw are your knees? how often will you repent?

Tweet 4: you want me to go to dinner? the thing that killed Jesus???

Image 4: An image of a fake Niffty account. Her display name is nifty and her handle is @/bugslayer. Her description reads "i don't fear sharp objects". Her occupation is "maid" and her location is "Hazbin Hotel". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: not to be feral on my main but biting is great I love it

Tweet 2: stabbing is ROMANTIC and INTIMATE now stop fucking running goddammit!!!!

Tweet 3: tried to be his luv bug but he doesn't like roaches :(

Tweet 4: i think i hear an ant outside.

Image 5: An image of a fake Charlie account. Her display name is charlie (with a blue checkmark) and her handle is @/princessofhell. Her description reads "pls [repeated 13 times] come to my hotel [praying emoji]". Her occupation is "Owner of Hazbin" and her location is "Hazbin Hotel". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: my dad is so cool. he taught me shadow magic today. you guys wanna see?

Tweet 2: my father thinks im unfit to reign lol

Tweet 3: the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

Tweet 4: *writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* im losing my sense of humanity

Image 6: An image of a fake Vaggie account. Her display name is vaggie and her handle is @/veggiestraw. Her description reads "the only thing I care about is my girlfriend". Her occupation is "manager" and her location is "Hazbin Hotel". It is open to the "tweets" section of the page and displays four tweets.

Tweet 1: damn girl what those claws do? destroy? that's awsomeeee i love it

Tweet 2: im queer as in gay, yes, but also queer as in really very peculiar

Tweet 3: liking angels in the atheist kind of way. they're just pigeons to me

Tweet 4: angels ARE talking to me not in a 444 777 way but in a deeply tortured prophetic martyrdom Saint Joan of Arc way.

Image 7: An image of a fake Angel Dust tweet. His display name is "angel dust" with a blue checkmark and his handle is @/spidermania. The tweet reads "no Vaggie, im not high. my eyes are red bc I'm evil."

There is a reply by a Husk account. His display name is "husker" and his handle is @/drunkgambler. The reply reads: "i don't think you could be evil if you tried."

There is another reply by the Vaggie account, reading "i don't believe you >:("

Image 8: An image of a fake Husk tweet. His display name and handle are the same as in image 7. The tweet reads "and just when you think you'd hit rock bottom, you want to fuck a spider boy"

There is a reply by a Valentino account. His display name is "valentino" with a blue checkmark and his handle is @/mothpimp. The reply reads "what's this now" with a wide-eyed open-mouthed smiling emoji.

There is a reply by the Angel Dust account, reading "im flattered" with a pink bow emoji.

Image 9: An image of a fake Lucifer tweet. His display name is "lucifer" with a golden checkmark and his handle is @/sillygoose. The tweet reads "bro you're so fucking annoying keep this up and I'll kiss you on the lips"

There is a reply by an Alastor account. His display name is "alastor" with a blue checkmark and his handle is @/ohdeer. The reply reads "ha, no" with a red heart emoji.

Image 10: An image of a fake Lucifer tweet. His display name and handle are the same as in image 9. The tweet reads "somewhere between fuck you and id fuck you"

There is a reply by the Adam account, reading "pardon?"

End Image ID.]

pretending Adam is alive

[unusualshrimp]

[ID: A fake penguin classics book cover for Bram Stoker's Dracula. The cover image is a screenshot of a tumblr post by BisexualCrabKing-Deactivated that reads: "(writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen) I am losing my sense of humanity." End ID.]

[messy-gemini1]

RDR2 incorrect quotes cause I said so

Y/n: Life is a party and I am a Piñata Arthur: you really need some therapy Y/n: no :) ______ Young Y/n: *not liking Dutch being touchy with Hosea*  ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful... Dutch: I just wanna fucking marry Hosea! Hosea: Dutch! watch your language! ______

Y/n, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands. _______ Y/n: Do you even know what an amulet is? John: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions! Y/n: John, those are omelettes. John: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing. ______ Y/n: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes... Y/n: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps. Arthur: ...That took an unexpected turn. John: So did their neck. ______

Hosea: * yelling at young Y/n and Young John* Y/n! you better not be trying to drown John! Y/n: I'm not! I'm baptizing him! John: help me! *literally drowning* Y/n: In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit , I send you back to hell!! *dunks him as he screams while Arthur and Dutch run to help* ______

John: Guys, my friend here is bilingual. Arthur: Yes. John: Which means they like both boys and girls. Arthur: Ye- wait, what- Y/n: John, that's not what bilingual means- John: Shhh, it's okay Arthur. I still love you, man. Arthur & Y/n: ... John: bUT NOT LIKE THAT- ______

Y/n: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Arthur: That’s a snake. Y/n: oh... Y/n: Arthur: Arthur: *struggling to hold them back*DON"T GRAB IT!! ______

Arthur: Y/n... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now. Y/n: *muffled* mm hmmm :) Arthur: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable. ______

Y/n, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Y/n: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Arthur: It was you the fuck. Y/n: It was I the fuck… Charles: Who cooks rice in a pan? Arthur: They the fuck. ______

Abigail: Okay, what does A stand for? John: Arson. Abigail: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? John: Barson. Y/n: *laughter* Abigail: What stands for C? John: Commit arson. Y/n: Oooo.  Abigail: D! John: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Y/n: *more laughter* ______

Abigail walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: John, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. John, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :) ______

Y/n: Yes, I'm adopting Jack and you cowards can't tell me no! Abigail: I'm his mother and I said no! Y/n: Your no fun!! ______

Y/n: I am literally evil incarnate. Y/n: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil. Y/n: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

[timegays]

pnf incorrect quotes because IT’S BACK BABY!!!

Incorrect quotes under the cut-

Phineas: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Baljeet: You’re too young to have enemies.

Phineas: You don’t even know.

————————————————

Isabella: Yesterday, I overheard Phineas saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Ferb replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

————————————————

Buford: I don’t even use tubberware anymore.

Isabella: What are you saying? Say it again.

Buford: Tubberware.

Isabella: Say it again. Slow.

Buford: Tubberware.

Isabella: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable.

Buford: Tub.

Isabella: Wrong.

Buford: What do you mean, wrong?

Isabella: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P.

Buford: What are you talking about?

Isabella: Tupperware. Tupper.

Buford: It’s tupper!

Isabella: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be.

Buford: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

————————————————

Isabella: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Phineas: Why? It was important.

Isabella: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Ferb, shrugging: The people need to know.

————————————————

Isabella, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

————————————————

Baljeet: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!

Baljeet: I’m actually very good at mathematics.

Baljeet: Thirdly, I think you might be right.

————————————————

Ferb: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Baljeet: I think you mean cards.

Phineas: They did not.

Ferb, pulling out knives: I did not.

————————————————

Phineas: That's ridiculous, Isabella doesn't have a crush on me.

Buford: Yes they do.

Ferb: Yes they do.

Isabella: Yes I do.

————————————————

Buford: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Ferb: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Buford: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Baljeet: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

————————————————

Isabella: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?

Buford: Because your toast would get soggy!

————————————————

Buford: We are not mad. We are just disappointed.

Baljeet: No, we are mad.

Buford: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.

Baljeet: No, we’re not!

Buford: I am not a mind reader, Baljeet!

————————————————

Phineas: How was your day, Buford?

Buford: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.

Phineas: Oh? And what does that mean?

Buford: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.

————————————————

Buford: Okay, two person huddle.

Ferb: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.

————————————————

Buford: Some people are like slinkies.

Baljeet: What?

Buford: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Baljeet:

Baljeet: Please don't push Phineas down the stairs.

Buford, pushing Phineas down the stairs: Too late.

————————————————

Ferb: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.

Phineas: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

[lichfucker]

[image description: ten stills from Black Sails, each overlaid with a text post.

1: Silver, Madi, Flint, and Jack all sitting around a table, with Anne and various pirates and Maroons surrounding them. text post: "revolution isn't always the answer" you're right! sometimes revolution is the question and the answer is yes

2: a close-up of Flint's face, glaring intensely as Charles Town burns (offscreen). text post: manifesting the complete destruction of the english nation and hence the dissolution of the british union, an independent socialist scotland and wales, the liberation of northern ireland, the general betterment of the world etc.

3: Dobbs lying in the sand, in the midst of enacting Silver's plan. the text post is a back-and-forth between two tumblrs. op says, "war criminal pussy got me acting unwise." a commenter says, "what." op responds, "what's not clicking"

4: Max sitting at her desk, writing in a ledger. text post: *writing in my diary using a glitter gel pen* I'm losing my sense of humanity

5: Jack and Anne standing on the deck of a ship. Jack's arm is around Anne's shoulders. text post: i love the term "partners." are we dating? are we robbing a bank? do we run a legal firm? are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? who knows.

6: a close-up of Silver sneering as he stomps Dufresne's head in. text post: ahhh "lying"... one of the oldest tricks in the book. aside from "bashing someone over the head with a rock"

7: Anne sitting on horseback, talking to Max. text post: like it's MY fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill

8: a close-up of Vane with a noose around his neck. text post: i want my tombstone to say "am i dead? bitch i might be"

9: the Walrus crew in the cage on Maroon Island. text post: okay I'm normal now I promise let me out of the cage please

10: Featherstone standing next to Jack. text post: life is so hard when your best pal is a 9.5/10 and you're a strong 4 with the right filter and lighting

end id]

black sails + shitpost I have on my phone (pt. 4/?)

3