#←not entirely but ig it was the reason why I continued it?

[basicsunnyy]

Posting before I have to travel since I forgot doing so with this one - background study, sorta

Might draw on the plane later if I don't get dizzy lmao

(Also idk why the texture added to the wall looks weird in the speedpaint, couldn't fix it too :( )

Reference photo (took it from Pinterest)

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Probably a common Kenny question but how do you think he'd react/feel if someone admitted to him that they're fully aware of his curse but never said or mentioned anything about it?

LMAO you've hit the spot hahahah I literally have an almost finished Fic Wip exactly about this topic so I've given it LOTS of thought.

Okay first and foremost: Kenny isn't a very reactive guy. He's pretty good at keeping his negative emotions in check, probably owed to his upbringing where he always had to be the sane, calm and collected one to endure his home life (parentification let's go!!!). Instances like in the Coon & Friends trilogy (where he lashes out at Kyle) are pretty unique and rare, the only other time he gets similarly angry and acts on it happens in "Poor and Stupid" where Cartman mocks both NASCAR fans and people in poverty.

Deadass when his friends ditched him for Halloween bc he couldn't afford a phone for the e-scooter (ep "The Scoots") he wasn't even mad, even though he had every reason to be. He was just sad. Similarly in Post Covid; he revealed he'd been pissed at his friends for giving up on their broship, but what did he do? He studied and researched for decades how to go back in time and fix it, and post-mortem he left the option open for THEM to continue his work.

My headcanon is that he tried and learned to be the calm one so Karen could have some semblance of stability in their home, but this situation you're describing wouldn't require him to stay strong for Karen (unless it's Karen that would remember his death). I'd say this is a pretty solid conclusion, drawn from his behavior in episodes like "The Poor Kid" and "The City Part of Town" (which ig are the only Karen and Kenny centric episodes lol). I still think (because of "Going Native" and how he handled Butters' emotional issues) that Kenny simply defaults to understanding and a rational caretaker role, no matter the person. Heck, he was even kind enough to leave Cartman his PSP (ep "Best Friends Forever") because he feels bad for Cartman's loneliness. If you have empathy with an IRL Cartman, there's no one you wouldn't be understanding with.

Having an analysis of Kenny's temper tendencies out of the way, I'm gonna move on to the next statement: I think it might slightly depend on WHO this hypothetical person was, the one who "admitted to him that they're fully aware of his curse but never said or mentioned anything about it."

There's two main reasons that this could even happen:

1: The person is so freaked out by this situation that they were afraid to say anything for a long time, they possibly even thought they might be insane and imagining things

2: The person is Cartman

And because I kinda analyzed this in my fic (not yet published), I'm gonna reference it a little and explain my decisions.

The fic's premise is that in a sudden turn, Butters remembers Kenny's last death. Butters freaks out when he sees Kenny come back and after initially lashing out at Kenny thinking he's a ghost coming to haunt him (like in "The Death of Eric Cartman"), he later apologizes to Kenny, concluding he just imagined his death and is insane. (Butters has been conditioned to not trust his mind & brain, assigned mental disorders when there's nothing wrong with him in the aforementioned episode as well as in "City Sushi", so I felt that this makes sense) This makes Butters a perfect contestant for scenario 1.

What did I have Kenny do? Well, in my fic Kenny is overjoyed to finally have someone that would believe him about his curse, but that's not the scenario you provided. But given Kenny's temper patterns and savior complex/caretaker tendencies (gestures at the entire Mysterion arc and anything to do with Karen, including the TFBW DLC "From Dusk Til Casa Bonita", and also "Going Native" where he swiftly accepts his role as support system for Butters), I find it pretty solid to assume he would show a lot of understanding for why the person didn't say anything before. It's a lot to digest to watch someone die, even more if they just... come back? And everyone else acts like nothing happened? On SEVERAL occasions?? Like, Kenny is the first to relate to that sentiment. He'd be understanding about everything the person would be confused & distressed about, and also the reasons why they didn't say anything before.

After Kenny gets his understanding & patient savior complex stuff out of the way, I imagine him slowly going insane trying to figure out WHY this person remembers. That's the second part of the premise in my fic; Kenny and Butters try to figure out why Butters remembers, and why now, and Kenny's main motive is because he wants to find a way for his best friends to remember. The Coon & Friends trilogy proves that Kenny is very distressed by Stan and Kyle not remembering, they mean a lot to him. He feels safer and more comfortable with them than probably with his own family. In my fic, his attempts at figuring out why Butters remembers end up with no results and Kenny slowly starts losing it, lashing out at his friends for feelings of resentment he had long buried and his rational temper control starts cracking more and more. I feel like this is how he'd react in any case of anyone remembering his death, as long as it's not Stan or Kyle. I doubt either Stan or Kyle would ever even wind up as the person to be aware of his curse and not tell him. Especially not Kyle.

Scenario 2 is if Kenny found out that Cartman remembers, has remembered since forever, and never said a word. In my fic (spoiler alert?) Kenny doesn't even deal with Cartman. He just goes straight home to pull out his gun and shoot himself lmaooo he does this because he wants to talk to Satan in Hell and demand answers, bc he doesn't know who else to turn to. In Chaos Plan I have a bit where I describe my take on Kenny's general feelings towards Cartman canonically showing signs of remembering his deaths, and the quote goes like this:

"Kenny often wonders if Cartman does remember his deaths, but is simply too much of a shithead to say anything about them." (Chaos Plan chapter 17)

Kenny is a big "Do no harm but take no shit" kinda guy when it comes to Cartman. He doesn't fight him when it's pointless and prefers to preserve his energy (unlike Kyle), but he does call him out on his bullshit occasionally (at least when it's targeted against Kenny and/or his family). Kenny is also scarily emotionally mature for a 9/10 year old (makes sense bc of his upbringing) so I doubt he'd get his hopes up about ever getting some kind of compassion or collaborative effort from Cartman to figure out what's up with his curse's mechanics. While Kenny and Cartman have an interesting friendship, and Kenny is kind of Cartman's soft spot, I can still imagine Kenny thinking "sure, my luck that the worst possible person remembers my deaths and no one else" and kind of be apathetic about it, kind of like he is by the end of the Coon & Friends trilogy before he shoots himself lmaoooo

So yeah, that's what I think :)) You said the question is common but honestly if it is, then it's for good reason because it's one of the most interesting ones the entire show of South Park has provided. I'm probably biased lol but still, thank you so much for the ask anon <3 I hope you weren't expecting a short answer ahahahahah

[towriteloveontheirarms]

We were just talking (JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader)

synopsis: JJ and you have seemingly hated each other for years, but what if it all escalates? And what if you get caught?

warnings: fluff, smut, making out, fingering, p in v sex, allusions to dry humping, getting caught, kinda enemies to lovers ig, afab reader

word count: 2.3k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by me

“I dare you to sit in JJ’s lap for the rest of the night.” Kiara slowly speaks out the bet you your dare which is met by an immediate sigh from both you and JJ.

For some reason, JJ had decided to hate you, despite the other pogues loving you. You weren´t only John B´s younger sister, but theirs as well. A sentiment you returned with all the love you had in your heart. One thing about the two of you though, despite all the hate for each other, you weren´t gonna opt out on a dare.

“Oh man! Kie! Come on!” JJ said as you sat in his lap.

Kiara on the other hand only giggled as she sipped on her drink.

"Shut up, JJ. What are you afraid of? That you´ll get hard from me sitting on your lap?" You respond to his protests and sit down in his lap.

JJ looks down at you and glares at you, everyone else watching the two of you banter with knowing eyes as the game continued.

“No, I just… Never mind.” The blond sighs and leans back on the sofa, trying to touch you as little as possible.

"No, please by all means, say what you want to say. You´re with friends after all." You insist, shifting in his lap to get more comfortable, rubbing your ass against his core.

Behind you JJ grits his teeth and breathes in sharply as you do so.

“Okay, I think that´s enough.” He leans back even farther trying to push you off to the side without pushing you to the ground.

“No no no, the dare was the rest of the night.” Your friends remind him.

“Would you at least fucking sit still then?” JJ hisses into your ear.

"Sorry..." Your voice comes out breathier than hoped and is almost accompanied by a small whimper from the feeling of his length between your ass cheeks, that is only warded off by biting your lower lip.

The way he tries to push you away has his hardening length grind perfectly against you, making your heartrate accelerate and face burn ever so slightly. The eyes of the others burn into your body, adding to the very different heat of JJ´s touch as he finally just grabs your hips to keep you still in his lap. And though you usually pride yourself on being able to endure anything, this was not one of those things.

"I´m gonna go inside to get another beer?" You ask, as to not raise suspicion, but that was well too late already. I could tell by the amused glances flying your way as you stand up all but too hastily to be subtle. A murmur of affirmation runs through the small group. And then something that surprises you.

“I’ll come with you.” The blond who had just tried to get rid of your presence in his immediate proximity says.

It´s easier not to disagree with him and so you try to focus on ignoring the whispers of the others as you head inside to grab another sixpack of beer cans. However, you don´t even nearly get the chance to do so.

The door to the porch hasn´t even closed entirely, when one of JJ´s large hands grabs one of your wrists.

"JJ, w-what...?" You ask him just as breathlessly as before, though there is a tingling sensation that makes you crave more spreading from where his hand touches.

JJ pushes you against the wall, he can’t hide his obvious excitement from you as he leans in close to your ear.

“You wanna know why I didn’t want you to sit on my lap?” He whispers, though there is an undertone of uncertainty over the smartness of admitting the truth.

"Why?" Your heart beats higher at the realisation of how close his lips are. You can almost feel them on yours as you answer him in a low whisper.

“I can’t control myself around you.” JJ grabs your waist, pulling you closer to him. I can’t think of you as my friend’s little sister.”

There is a pause between the two of you, his confession settling in as you just look up into his stupidly handsome eyes. You feel like drowning in the pools of blue. So focused on the tingling feeling that this now ignites in you, you close your eyes for barely a moment. Yet it is still long enough to be surprised by the first, wet kiss to hit the skin of your neck.

"Jayj..." You gasp, threading a hand into his wild hair, not caring that it knocks the cap he was wearing to the ground in the process, while the other holds onto his biceps.

“Do you like that?” He asks you, his eyes full of lust and excitement.

JJ smiles softly feeling you run your hands through his messy hair and moves his lips across your neck before kissing your collarbone. Then he pulls away slightly looking at you. Every new open-mouthed kiss he the blond had pressed to your flushed skin, had made your brain grow hazier steadily. So, you are left to nod desperately in answer, eagerly you lean up to finally capture his lips in a passionate kiss, for the first time. A sigh falls from your mouth into the affected touch, massaging his scalp with my fingernails. JJ leans his head back and lets out a low groan of enjoyment, willingly letting you pull him further into the house. Once you got him on the nearest mattress, your lips are on each other´s without a second thought. Clawing and pulling at each other’s clothes, lips devouring each other, he slid his tongue into your mouth to explore you further and immediately gets met with your own tongue joining in a passionate dance.

“Oh, god… this is amazing” He runs his hands up your back, the feeling of your skin beneath the soft, shirt driving him crazy.

The kiss and the whimpers it pulls from his lips are instantly addictive. You can barely bring up the strength to part long enough to hum in agreement. You snake your arms around JJ´s neck to keep him close as he shifts his weight to press me further into the mattress.

“Mmm, I think we should get you out of those clothes.” He whispers into your ear as he brushes his hand up your thighs, starting a trail of fire through every nerve in your body.

"Yes. Fuck, yes." Comes your eager agreement. One of your hands already going to the bow in the back of your neck to let the shirt fall half open, exposing your breasts to the blond.

“Oh wow.” JJ breathed, he can’t believe how beautiful you are, he’s so incredibly attracted to you even though he knows he shouldn’t be.

You bite your lip at the way he gazes at you and look up at him through wide, innocent eyes. Fluttering your lashes at him. "You can touch me if you want..." You take one of his hands and coyly place it on your chest. JJ snaps out of his daydreams and chuckles softly as he feels your innocent eyes staring back at him, he knows you can’t possibly be as innocent as you seem. As you take his hand and place it to cup one of your breasts, JJ leans forward and whispers into your ear. “I’ve wanted to do this all night." He rasps as he twirls your nipples between his fingers.

Affected by his ministrations, your head falls back against with your lips slightly parted. It somehow felt so good to know that you were the only thing on his mind all night, after thinking he hated you for years. "I've wanted you for so long now. Dreamed so often about your hands on me, while you called me your good girl." Your breathing grows more unevenly as JJ's hands massage your breasts. “Have you really? God…” JJ's groans. His hands begin to wander all over your body, touching every exposed piece of skin, pulling the shirt over your head and throwing it to the side. The tiny jeans shorts go next, leaving him to paw at your panties while closed his lips around your peaked nipples, suckling at the pebbled bundles of nerves. You run your nails over his shirt, pulling it off his body just like he did to you only moments ago. Just in time to bury your fingernails in his shoulders as JJ slips a finger past the lace fabric into your fluttering walls. JJ chuckles excitedly at your gasping and moaning as he slightly shifts his weight again to grab your hips tightly and add another finger into your wet hole, keeping your quivering legs open with his lean body. However, neither of you have the patience for extended preparation left and so JJ quickly pulls down his pants and sheaths his flushed, leaking length inside of your tight cunt.

“Shit. You feel so good” You whimper, voice straining to stay quiet enough to not give you away. "You're driving me so insane right now. I've wanted to feel you like this for so long now. You have no idea."  He whispers as his left hand squeezes your thighs. The blonde leans down as he begins to thrust into you in a steady rhythm to suck even more marks into the valley between your breasts. “God, you’re amazing.” Your praise is met with a soft moan from JJ as he realized how badly you wanted him too. And as your heels dig into his lower back, he can no longer resist you, he needs you too bad.

Considering the fact that the two of you are still very high the pace his hips take on is impressively fast. Driving both of you not only closer to the edge of pleasure, but also the moans from your lips to grow louder as your mind slips into haziness. "Shhh, you gotta be quiet or the others will hear." JJ shushes you with a trembling voice, clearly struggling to keep quiet as well. But you can't help yourself and so JJ simply clamps a hand over your mouth. You are moments away from climaxing when someone barges into the room without knocking. "Yo J... What the fuck!?" John B yells when he realises what he has caught you doing.

JJ and you jump away from each other and hide under the blanket. Eyeing your admittedly very unamused looking brother with wide eyes and tightly knit eyebrows. “We were just… umm… just talking” JJ says just at the same time as you try to deflect your brother. "This is not what it looks like. I swear." You try to assure John B, clawing your hands tightly into the blanket as he paces back and forth with his hands running through his hair. "I don't even care about what you were doing, but did you have to do it in my bed?!" John B shakes as if a freezing cold shiver runs down his spine.

When you look around, you realise, that you did in fact in all the haste, land in his room. Neither you nor the blond beside you know what to say. "It's getting late, so I'm just gonna do you the favour of walking out of here and when I come back in five minutes, I want to see you decent and asleep on the couch." He runs his hands through the brown tresses one more time and then walks out of the room, with in surrender raised arms. "Yes, John B... Thank you." The two of you mumble in unison as your brother leaves.

That night, sleep does not want to claim you. Forcing you to toss and turn to the sound of Kie's even breaths and Pope’s light snoring. Thoughts circle in your head like a toy train until you finally have enough of the uncertainty. "JJ? Are you sleeping?" You whisper into the semi dark as you crawl over to him. "Not yet. What's bothering you?" His answer comes almost immediately, and he closes his arms around your middle to pull you close. "I... I kinda can't stop thinking about earlier." You sigh when you feel the warmth of his chest against your back. "What about it?" The warm breath fans over the side of your marked up neck. "What you said about not being able to see me as John B's little sister. Did you... Did you mean that just in a physical way or..." Your heart beats so loud it drones in your ear. Keeping you from being able to finish your question.

"Which way would you like it better?" JJ only asks, giving you basically no answer at all. "I think I would like it better if it would be more than a one-time thing. Actually... I know I want this to be more." You confess, voice trembling and so quiet JJ has to concentrate to hear you. An almost imperceptible sigh leaves the blond's lungs at your statement. "I want this to be more too." "Really? Do you mean that?" You turn your head back to look at him through the corner of your eyes. "I really mean it. Will you be my girlfriend?" The wide smile is audible in his voice. "Yes, of course I'll be your girlfriend." You turn your upper body some more until you are finally able to cup his face in your hands, pulling him into a kiss. Brushing your lips against his, excited and a bit uncoordinated from the angle. Neither of you is bothered by it though. On the contrary, after just a moment you feel JJ's hard cock press against your backside again. Parting from him, you look at him unbelieving yet amused. "Are you serious? Now?" You giggle. "Can't help it." JJ tries to breathily defend himself. "Kie and Pope will hear us." You express concern, though your panties begin to stick to your folds at the thought of doing something right there. "Not if you stay quiet, baby." The blond offers a simple solution by clamping a hand over your mouth once more as he begins to rut against you.

[charlessainzz]

Ellooo

I saw your recs were opennnnn

So i uave a request for cluless non-fan reader who attends a race for whatever reason and doesnt know anyone

Driver falls in love with them at first meet/sight

Like idk he saw them being all cute or something from afar or they bump into eachother or reader has to follow a friend whose a huge fan so they kinda look like a lost puppy following their friend around and driver finds them intriguing

Idk u can come up with that bit

But yeah basically clueless reader and driver

Idk which driver

Maybe max or lewis or oscar or even danny

But u can choose anyone ig

I just wanted some fluff cause why not

Thank u sm✨

I love ur writing🫶

thank you for the request!!! appreciate the love, and hope this is what you were looking for :)

Lost and Found

Could it have been any more of a cliche?

Here you were at the Miami Grand Prix lost and wandering around. And where do you find yourself? In the McLaren garage. How? You had no idea. You always seemed to get yourself into the predicaments.

Truth be told, you weren’t very interested in Formula 1. But your friends had an extra ticket so why not get a little tipsy and watch some race cars?

You had been walking with your friends when you decided to make a quick pit stop at the bathrooms. They said they’d wait for you but spoiler alert they didn’t. So here you were looking around the paddock for 3 blondes in Miami, you’d probably never find them!

Thinking you see one of your friends you begin shouting out to her as she entires the building wrapped in papaya orange. As you walk further into the building you can hear the machines and shouting men. That’s when you see the car. It wouldn’t hurt to get closer look. It’d give you something to brag about!

“Can I help you?”, a soft voice said behind you.

You whip your whole body around, “Oh! I got a little lost and was just admiring the car…” you say as your eyes meet his big brown ones. Your face going instantly red, you divert your eyes hoping he won’t see how flustered you are.

“It’s a nice car right?”, he says with a laugh. “We added some updates that’ll hopefully take us to RedBulls level but we’ll see”, he rambles.

You nod aggressively and say, “Never seen anything like it, very shiny!”. As you begin reaching out touch the tail end.

“Wait! No!”, he shouts and pulls you into him. “Unless you want hundreds of dollars worth of fines, I would not do that,” he says with a worried look. That’s when you realize you’re both caught up in each others arms.

Clearing your throat, you take a step back. “You seem to be very knowledgeable about all this stuff…” you say as you look around the garage.

He looks at you and begins to laugh, “you could say I’m somewhat of an expert”.

“I had a feeling. So are you a mechanic or pit crew?” you ask with sincerity.

His eyes light up at your question. Just as he’s about to answer another person calls out to him, “Oscar! Time to get in the car!”.

He begins to zip up his race suit. “You should hang around for the race and see why I’m such an expert in this stuff”, he says as he brushes his hands through his hair.

You look around the garage and find the guy who saved you from a million fines face plastered all over the walls. Oscar Piastri. Oh shit, he’s one of the drivers.

“What happens if I continue to hang around even after the race?” you ask with a smirk.

“Well then I might just have to take out to celebrate my win”, he slyly replies.

You cock your head as you eye him up and down. “Hmm…. sounds like a plan” you reply. “Don’t take too long then, I might get lost again.”

He starts laughing as he tugs his helmet on. “I’ll be back in no time”, he says with a wink and closes his visor.

Maybe your friends ditching you wasn’t so bad after all. A date with a Formula 1 driver, definitely something to brag about.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 164 thoughts

This post discusses suicide and suicidal ideation in the context of Oshi no Ko.

Chapters Until The Story Ends Without The 143 Kiss Being Addressed Or Acknowledged: 2

Bizarrely, I feel like I don't have a ton to say about this chapter. Not because stuff doesn't happen in it but because… fuck, man. What do I even say. I can't quite 100% shake my suspicion that Akasaka has some asspull up his sleeve and that Aqua might come back in style form, even if altered to the point that he isn't the Aqua we know anymore, but this chapter is clearly set up for us to think he's dead and for us to see other character's reactions to this news, so I'll talk about the text with that assumption in mind. This one will probably be kind of all over the place so bear with me ig

That being said… this is all kind of dumb as fuck, huh

Like. There's just so many insane contrivances with this setup that it's impossible for me to take it seriously. Putting aside that there's no way on planet earth Aqua's plan should have fooled anybody, why in God's name are his family and friends finding out about this from a news broadcast and not, like… Being contacted by the police?? Or at least hearing about it beforehand??

I also really don't like that we're setting up to have a whole chapter focusing on Ruby's response to all this while Aqua's Literal Mother and all his friends get like. Two panels to be shocked at the news. If the series ends without giving them all the space to grieve I think I will be legitimately really pissed off lmao

The presence of 15 Year Lie in this chapter also makes me agonizingly aware that we know basically nothing about it to this day, even though the contents of the movie are what this final arc revolves around. Aqua's plan relies on Kamiki's crimes as exposed by the movie being heinous enough that Kamiki would kill Aqua to silence them but…

WHAT FUCKING CRIMES???

The Kamiki we saw in the movie was only ever portrayed as a victim in the scenes we see. Unless the story is trying to imply that Kamiki is somehow responsible for Uehara and Airi's deaths or that 15YL makes him directly responsible for Gorou's death or - literally I have no idea what this could be referring to.

I dunno, man. It's hard for me to really want to buckle down and analyse this because so much of it feels entirely contrary to the story that came before. I've always insisted that the one thing that we could guarantee was that Aqua and Ruby would survive the series and be happy because so much emotional weight is put on Ai's wish for Aqua and Ruby to grow into adults and be happy, and it really seemed like we were building up to an ending of Aqua deciding for himself that he wants to finally live for himself, so this sudden swerve into Aqua being told by God "actually your purpose in life is to nobly commit suicide for your sister" is uh, jarring to say the least.

Part of the issue with this is that I think Akasaka doesn't think of Aqua's sacrifice as being a suicide, narratively speaking, even though Akane literally acknowledges it as such. But the thing is, Aqua's "sacrifice" is emergent from all the same things as his suicidal ideation - his belief that his life is intrinsically less valuable than everyone else's and his continued guilt and self loathing as a result of his trauma. Aqua literally says to Ruby's face in 143 that he feels guilty just for being alive and it's literally never addressed again.

So it's very difficult not to read this ending as the story approving of Aqua killing himself, but only if it's for the right reasons. Not only is that an insanely irresponsible message to put into a story as widespread and visible as OnK is right now, it's also just fucking ghoulish.

Idk. Even if Aqua lived here, I just really dislike this idea of his whole life's purpose being Narratively Affirmed as being to uplift Ruby at his own expense. Aqua is very much like Ai in that he's a person who has spent basically all of both his lives in service to other people, unable to pursue the things that he wants and that make him genuinely fulfilled - an ending that parallels Ai, where he is denied this to the extent that it kills him, is not a bad idea on paper but the execution here makes it fall apart. Like, if the framing was that Aqua and Kamiki were both unable to move on from the past to the point that it kills them, I'd vibe with that or something like it. But as is, this shit is just baffling.

It doesn't help that Aqua's death is just completely unmoored from anything the series has been setting up all this time. I've seen people defending this as being what Aqua's revenge was building up to, but this very explicitly isn't about Aqua's revenge. It's about "protecting Ruby's future", but the idea that Kamiki was a threat to Ruby specifically is something that was introduced all of four chapters ago. Even then, it's deeply undercooked. Like, what it is about Kamiki that makes him SUCH a threat to Ruby that Aqua has no choice but to take the nuclear option and kill them both? Why is this the one and only way to stop him? We don't know - we basically know nothing about Kamiki besides "he's Ai's crazy ex" which is such a massive letdown for an antagonist who's been built up for this long.

Speaking of Ai…. where the fuck is she!!!

I know this is predictable background noise from the Ai Wife Guy, but it really is baffling to me that she's such a nonfactor when the climax happening right now is her son confronting the man who killed her. At best, we get mild lipservice as to her existence but the series is so all-in on this "protecting Ruby's future" framing that Ai's absence here feels jarring. It's not just that Ai should be relevant because I like her (but I DO and she SHOULD) but because it makes for a bizarrely deflated finale. Instead of the tragedy we've been building up to avenging for over 140 chapters, Aqua's death comes as the result of a plan he came up with on the spot to deal with an ill-defined threat that only came into existence 4-6 chapters ago.

It just doesn't really feel satisfying, especially when the series has been so wishy washy when it comes to focusing on Aqua and Ruby's relationship. If the series was going to make that connection The central axis on which this climax revolves, then it needed more fleshing out than it got, regardless of if the series went the AquRuby route or not.

Two chapters left………..

[ciaomarie]

Part 6: What Then?

It's over kids! The longest and final chapter is done. Chris Storer & Co. are probably going to put our beloveds through it in S3, but until then let's enjoy our low-key angst and romance. Post Season 2, Canon-Compliant, swoony, girly, fluffy. A happy-ending obviously.

After 10 years of grinding himself into dust Carm’s body began to surrender. About a month after The Bear’s opening, he came down with a cold that turned into a low-grade fever, a bitter cough with lime green mucus, night sweats, and mind-numbing exhaustion. After two days Sydney and Fak showed up to his apartment and dragged him to the emergency room. It was pneumonia and dehydration. The young male doctor muttered that his lungs sounded just like his father’s, a 40-year smoker. Yes, pneumonia was the primary reason, but a man Carmy’s age should be in better shape. He was out of commission for a whole week. The regret of letting down The Bear crew so soon after the Friends and Family fiasco motivated him to make a couple changes. First, he allowed himself only one emergency cigarette a day, which he needed less and less. Second, he went outside on Mondays, when the restaurant was closed. If the temperature was over 30℉, he took the train or walked to a park. His favorites were Humboldt and the Garfield Park Conservatory. Today he had come to the latter with his sketchbook and pencils in his backpack. Since the renovation he had continued drawing.

As he went towards to his favorite bench, he noticed a slender woman walking ahead of him. Her height, long swishing braids and jacket were identical to Syd’s. He compulsively began jogging towards her. Before he could call out her name, the woman pounced on a tall lanky man in front of her, wrapping her arms around his waist. Carmen had the sensation of being pushed off a diving board unexpectedly, his stomach pitching forward, unable to breathe much less scream before slamming into the water like a brick. The man turned and picked up Sydney up, planting a kiss on her mouth. He spun her around and…she wasn’t Syd. Thank God.

Carm made his way to the bench and hunched over, his head in his hands. She wasn’t Syd he recanted over and over until the feeling of relief gave way to self-reproach. This time it wasn’t her, but one day it would be. Would he be able to live with that? Uncle Jimmy’s warning not to be an overthinking manichino flashed in his mind. It was time to do something. He took out his sketchpad and began thumbing through it, an idea beginning to take shape. Hopefully, it wouldn’t scare Syd away.

The following Monday Sydney was in her cousin’s salon getting her entire life. Her microbraids were taken out, her hair was washed, deep conditioned, her scalp massaged, and now she was getting box braids put in. They were accented with delicate gold hair cuffs. She drowsed in the chair, with an almost empty to-go container of jollof rice in her lap, as her cousin and another hair stylist quietly discussed the latest season of Love is Blind.

“Sydney babe, would you ever go on Love is Blind?” her cousin, Ashley, asked in a louder tone.

Syd startled and rubbed her eyes.

“Never. That’s insane.”

“I got a message on IG that it’s coming to Chicago. You live and breathe your job so when are you going to meet somebody? Maybe your soulmate is in one of those pods!”

“Why don’t you apply then? You could find “love” and get more exposure for the salon.”

“Same for you and your restaurant ma’am, but I have a man.”

“Since when?”

“Since three months ago. His name is David, he’s a chemical engineer and the son of you know, Ms. Jumoke, she goes to the African church on Mackinaw…St. Paul.”

“Yeah, I remember her. Her sister used to watch me when my dad worked nights.”

“Anyways, back to you. Are you dating anyone, or should I send you the show application?”

“I don’t think love is blind. Have you seen the people they cast? Nobody too unfortunate-looking gets on. It’s so shallow.”

 “Ha! You’re one to talk. You have a very distinct type…white boys with tats and muscles.”

“Ashley, there’s been two of them. Like, that’s not a pattern.”

“No, three! This boss, no “partner”, of yours, had Sydney written over him. The family never sees you anymore.”

“I came to lunch at uncle and auntie’s last month! Besides, opening a new business is like having a kid. You know this.”

“Sure, but when I had dinner at your restaurant and you introduced us, he complimented you for five minutes and then followed you to the kitchen like a whipped puppy.”

Sydney grinned biting her lower lip and covered her eyes. Her cousin stopped braiding and hugged her.

“Aww…my baby cousin is finally going to get some!”

“ASHLEY!” Sydney groaned pushing off her cousin’s arms.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop, but I am happy for you. He is sexy. That neck is thicker than a tree stump.”

Sydney who had just taken a sip of her sweet tea, spat it out all over the mirror.

“That’s on you, Ashley!” she choked out between laughing and coughing.

When she was able to contain herself, she tried to reel her cousin back in. Talking about romantic potential with Carmy gave her too much pleasure. If he was content with the status quo she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

“Nothing really is going on. We’re business partners and we’re pretty good friends and it’s probably best we keep it that way.”

“Yes, and he gave you an equal share in the restaurant out of the friendly kindness of his heart.”

“You know, I think he would do that, because I’ve put in so much work, but it did feel like it was something more, at least his Uncle Cicero or Jimmy seemed to think so.”

“Girl, watch out. His sister and an uncle like you!? Would you take his last name, hyphenate, or keep Adamu?”

“Ugh, I’m not going there with you! Shouldn’t you be done with my hair by now?”

“If you want it done right it’ll be 2 more hours. If you don’t…30 minutes?”

“Fine, take your time but please let me sleep.”

Sydney closed her eyes, admiring her self-control. She hadn’t told Ashley that Carmy asked her to come by The Bear this evening. He was reworking a few old dishes. The invite was made at the end of the night a few days ago while they were turning off the lights. She said yes as they pulled down the last switch and she couldn’t see his expression, but she heard him exhale loudly as if he feared she’d decline. Sometimes they meet up on Mondays to network with vendors or collaborate on menu ideas, so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. However, she intuited he was hiding something again like when he and Nat surprised her with a share in the restaurant. This time she didn’t pester him for details, knowing that it was probably worth waiting for.

When Syd arrived home at 3:00 pm she could’ve folded laundry and watched an episode of Psych, but she decided to pretend this was a date; well, like she was preparing for a date. It was a long time since her last. She had entered the Convent of Failed Dreams after Sheridan. Then The Beef/The Bear became her world. The light blue cuffed jeans and stripped white and mint green button-down shirt she was wearing was more than appropriate for a food brainstorming session. However, Carmy’s mysterious attitude might be concealing more great news. She might as well look good when and if he had some.

She took a luxuriously long shower, shaved, and rubbed in her mandarin-scented body oil. Then she entered slowly sifted through her closet considering a red jumpsuit, or just nicer jeans and a blouse when her eyes fell on her marigold-colored shirt dress. It was knee length, comfortable, but chic and the color made her complexion pop. She paired it with a brown and gold oval buckle belt and brown flats because she might be standing in the kitchen for hours. After a short struggle she decided to keep the top two buttons of her shirt dress open. It was only a collar bone, not cleavage. Then she considered makeup. She hated wearing a lot of it; her skin felt suffocated with foundation. She did her brows, applied mascara, a little mineral powder, a smidge of highlighter on her cheekbones, and finished with the Fenty “Hot Choclit” gloss bomb her cousin had given her as part of a set for Christmas. Her new braids with the gold cuffs made the look even better and Sydney couldn’t help admiring herself more than usual in her floor-length mirror. She felt so delicious that she ordered an Uber rather than sit on the train. She would take it later or maybe Carm would give her a ride home.

Just before she could lock the door Emmanuel came up the stairwell, his face lighting up.

“My baby girl, you are stunning! Where are you headed?”

“Thanks, daddy. I’m just going to the restaurant. Felt like dressing up for once.”

“So, is it a staff meeting?”

“No, just working on some recipes. I gotta go. My Uber’s waiting.”

Emmanuel leaned against the door and nodded with a sly smile.

“Oh okay, I see. Tell Carmen I said hello. Have fun!”

Sydney’s eyes widened and she ran down the stairs waving goodbye. Her voice couldn’t be trusted.

When the car arrived at the restaurant, the sky was overcast, the evening darker than usual for the time of year. She let herself in and observed the layout. The lights were low, and the back center booth was set for dinner, with a single table candlelit. She could see Carmy in the kitchen already sautéing something. She was headed towards him when he looked up, seeing her through the window and rushed to meet her in the front.

“Syd don’t-” he began before he was immobilized by the vision before him.

Sydney was similarly taken with him and marveled at how often they were of the same mind. Carm was wearing a crisp button-down blue shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, the shirt tucked into dark navy pants, and he had gotten a haircut. Somehow it made his eyes stand out more. The sides were moderately tapered, his hair on top remained almost as long as before, and one of his rogue curls was damp against his forehead. He was perspiring, apparently having been cooking for a while.

“Nice haircut”, “You look amazing” they began at the same time and laughed nervously.

Carmy started again, beating his trusty spoon against his palm.

“So, the food is almost done. Just have a seat over there and I’ll be right out.”

Sydney nodded, a little confused and excited for this change of plans. She sat in the booth and noticed the speakers were playing The Teskey Brothers’ “Take My Heart.” She leaned back and closed her eyes letting the lyrics wash over her, her emotions stirring with that sweet ache.

“Take the time to notice what you really need, 

You’ll find it’s a little more simple, than what you thought before,

But I can say for certain that I’ve got more than I ever had before,

By remembering the little things that make my heart warm.

So take my heart and cut it into two,

After all the only thing missing from me was you,

You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re the air I breathe,

Cause after all the only thing missing from me was you.”

“Hey, are you good?” Carmy asked  approaching the booth with their plates.

Sydney sat up and cleared her throat.

“Yes, I’m good. I really like that song. Reminds me of-“

 “Otis Redding?”

“Yeah.”

Carm carefully placed the plates on the table.

“Well, speaking of throwbacks, I made-”

“Pork confit with onions and rhubarb!”

 “Yes, and after we’ll have Milk and Honey.

Sydney bit the inside of her mouth trying to absorb what seemed to be happening.  Carm muttered something about getting their drinks and went to the bar for their club sodas. Sydney remained mute, not knowing if she should ask him what this meant now or let it play out. “Don’t get ahead of yourself”, she admonished her heart.

He returned to the booth with their drinks and encouraged her to start, rubbing his chin as she put the first bite in her mouth.

“That’s it Carmy. Maybe even better than the first time,” Syd purred the pork melting on her tongue and some of her anxiety with it.

He blushed and began eating too.

“It is pretty good. Eleven Madison Park taught me a lot.”

The meal was mostly silent except for the occasional ejaculation over some element of the dish. Carmy couldn’t help gazing at Syd, taking in each detail, and rejoicing in the whole. The dip above her collar bone that rose and fell whenever she swallowed, made his head swim. Her lovely face was absolutely regal framed by her new box braids. Syd’s brown skin glowed in the candlelight and a heavenly citrus scent emanated from her. Whenever her eyes caught his obvious staring, he was too filled with gratitude to look away. Sydney’s eyes were soft and filled with kindness for this dear, lovestruck man. He looked helpless. In moments like this she remembered her capacity to build or obliterate him at will.  “Go with the flow” she reminded herself.

After they finished the main, Carmy took their plates and returned, with dessert, Milk and Honey. Syd lit up at the sight and when she tried it a wave of surprise flitted across her face.

"Is that mango? I didn't taste it at first, but then it like...bloomed at the back. Wow!"

"I thought it could use a Sydney twist. You always grab the mango lollipops off Sug's desk."

She resumed eating her dessert. Carm noticed everything about her. She'd played the Teskey Brothers, once or twice while they cleaned after a service, comparing them to Otis.

The Milk and Honey was devoured too soon and just as she wondered what else was on the agenda, Carmy took their bowls and returned with a package tied with twine. He set it in front of her, hands trembling, and sat a little further away than before. Syd perceiving his anxiety didn't raise any questions. She untied the string, removed the wrapping paper, revealing a red leather hand-bound notebook. The cover was engraved with her initials. On the first page was one of Carmy's drawings. It was a curbside view of The Bear. Several lined pages followed, then a drawing of the grapes in bone marrow broth. This alternating of lined pages and his pictures continued throughout the thick notebook. There were more pictures of their recipes, the various designs of her head scarves, and some were of her in different attitudes. In one she was leading expo with the confidence of Napoleon, and another was a portrait, her chin leaning on her hand, with a faraway expression in her large brown eyes. There were several others, so perceptive that Sydney felt naked. Adored. The final picture was surreal. It was a profile of Carmy's head the entirety of which was filled with Sydney wearing a hopeful smile and the scarf and shirt she'd worn her first day at The Beef.

She couldn't stop looking at it, her index finger tracing the lines.

"Sy-d" Carmen croaked his voice thick.

Breaking.

She looked up to find red-brimmed blue eyes searching hers.

"Come here" she breathed and no sooner than she blinked he was at her side.

"Syd" he tried again. Hyperventilating.

"Say more", she gently commanded smoothing his hair back before taking his hand in her lap.

This disarmed him, and he grinned in surprise. That was his line.

"Okay."

Breathe

"I want you Syd. I want to be with you.”

Breathe

“I want to do everything with you or not at all."

Then for the first time he wanted to say the words that had been a weapon for most of his life. They either were forced on him or yanked from him. His mother thought those words meant meekly submitting to her abuse. For Mikey it was cutting him off, so he wasn't exposed to his self-destruction. He never got to say it all. Claire believed it was part of a script. If he would only play his role and ignore who they were underneath, those words would become true enough.

Now, he had a new idea about those words, and they were wrapped up in this beautiful, talented, funny, tender, generous, stubborn, loyal, woman. His friend.

Suddenly they didn't hurt. He continued leaning to rest his forehead on hers.

"I love you."

Sydney blinked slowly as if in a trance, tears dropping to their joined hands.

Carm didn't move, but his face was filled with concern.

'Syd, are you-" he started to ask. Then he was spinning.

Sydney kissed him.

His neurons habitually used to process grief, anxiety, and small doses of happiness, trembled with the unusual amount of joy coursing through him.

Sydney was delirious. Her only thought was, he loves me.

Carmy couldn't close his eyes. The curve of her soft cheek so near his made him want to cry.

Then he did, for Sydney said,

"I love you, too."

[hcfiles]

The PR stunt with the latest PR (used as a diversion) adopted many strategies present in the other PRs. But, I want to call attention, not exactly to strategies, but, to the reasons they have been adopting them. For so, I need to point out a fact.

But, before the fact, I need to say you won't like nor accept what I'm about to point out, 'cause it threatens your belief and the adoration (not admiration) you have for him, which makes you blind. But, once you realize it, this circus becomes weak, unsuccessful and loses its meaning. And NV will lose her latest popularity.

He was expecting just one more PR stunt as many others he had done before (Lucy, Gina, KC and you name it). But, someone made him a fool and used it on behalf of NV. Did he end up getting sexually involved with some of his PRs? Maybe. He thinks these deals are also a way he can bang women safely, without further headaches. For me, it's a glamorous way to practice prost****"***on.

She became the main character for having this intention all along (what he didn't realize until he was trapped) and that led to this shenanigan damage control, which he had a choice to avoid, but preferred to accept. - That shows how his moral standards work.

The entire time, NV was used as a shield, a cannon fodder, a diversion and a tool against fans, in exchange for a blue check mark on IG and easy popularity.

As the reaction they had of the PR stunt with her was overwhelming compared to their expectations and they had lost control of the idiotic fandom, damage control was imperative. The PR had already started her own self promotion and they thought that ending the plot would cause him much more damage. The Me Too Movement could accuse him of misogyny.

But, the strategies used to regain this control was to provoke animosity among his fandom. First, to keep a part of it believing his persona and also, to use this part against the others, who they called haters, toxic and accused of jealousy. They intentionally, put fan against fan, so a part could do their dirty damage control job.

Many fake fan pages and fake chats were created to influence and manipulate you. Pages started blocking and reporting each other. Many were the pages using NV as a target and diversion. She, actually, put herself available for that to save his ass. This was partially predicted and expected by whoever was supporting her, planned this PR stunt and had a certain control of his social media (with his consent).

The goal was to confuse and gaslight, to make you believe he was out of job, fired by TW production and not being called to big and iconic roles. Being out of service was a strategy. This way he would continue as a victim and that would motivate you to fight and ask for him in social media, to campaign on his behalf.

The rumoured articles about his behavior on set or against women were planted to generate algorithms, commotion and make fans fight for him so he could regain your sympathy.

That's why he has been avoiding social media and has only been in cameos and accepting insignificant roles. The goal now, is to recover the credibility of his old image, but slowly. Making you believe he's being unfairly treated by the industry is a strategy. This way, you would ignore his lack of morality while priotizing escorting.

But, continuing silent, with dubious and contradictory comments on interviews, such as the one about his IG being fictional and playing the fake paternity plot is not helping. On the contrary. Instead of damage control, he put more fuel to fire and discredited himself.

It is clear you are here to make his likes and algorithm grow, most, to portray him as a victimized boy used by a slut and rejected by the industry. That's a fallacy! That's why he's into and in agreement with everything. He needs to deceive and recover the fandom he despised back there.

Well, the problem with all this damage control was that they not only threw the PR under the bus. They threw him! They had the intention to cause rage against the PR so he would be protected, not criticized for his lack of morals and seen as her victim. But, the rage not only was directed to her, but to him, reasonably!

HE was the reason for all of this circus. This PR stunt was to boost his image as straight, self-confident womanizer man. But, it had a mandatory change (as damage control) promoting the PR as a diversion. It is IMPOSSIBLE to believe his team didn't see it coming. And I believe whoever is behind this PR plan had that intention all along.

He not only ended up being used by this woman and her troupe, but also exposed as a coward liar and hypocrite. Maybe this trap was a Me Too Movement set up. He lost credibility and the respect of fans. By accepting this damage control strategies he put himself in the place of a guy who sees his fandom as a step.

Fandom has been immorally manipulated, gaslighted and used in this dirty damage control. He's slowly trying to go back to the old AVATAR, expecting his fans will forget and ignore the fact he sacrificed them for spotlight, vanity and fame.

He staged this indecent plot, accepted the immoral strategies, is using a fake paternity as self-promotion, to promote movies and a woman .....let's say, of a bad reputation, to avoid being honest, to avoid accountability and afraid of the gay rumours and The Me Too accusations.

The fact is he's not the AVATAR you sigh for. Yes, "he's gorgeous as a God, sexy as hell, sweet as honey" (something I saw on an IG page). But, that's a mask. This self-confidence, moral, good family man AVATAR doesn't exist. He may have a few features of the AVATAR, but, he's not it.

This AVATAR is a character to gain your sympathy, your love and adoration so he can be famous, rich, make you ask for him in every movie and spend your money in box offices. He's giving the fandom a big f**k. So, before defending his integrity ask yourself: Was this circus dignified?

"Dignity comes before fame. Dignity always comes before fame". His words on a podcast. So, where is that dignity now?

[trafalgarya]

Momo Yaoyorozu x Sub Male Reader — NSFW Headcanons

just momo yaoyorozu nsfw headcanons because i'd be such a slut for her. and also i'm a boy, so yeah, ✨ male reader ✨

aged-up momo

TW : mommy kink, penetration, strap-on, oral (giving and receiving), soft dom!momo yaoyorozu, sub!male reader, praising kink, sex-toys, teasing, orgasm control, begging, nipple sucking, masturbation, use of "slut", a bit of ooc ig, analingus (receiving, mention of giving too)

Momo doesn't mind being in a relationship with a submissive male. She really accepts her S/O for who he is, and his preference for being the dom or the dommed isn't an exception.

Something about Momo screams mommy kink, and no one can tell me otherwise. There's something so powerful yet delicate and soft about her, it's truly fascinating.

She'd please the shit out of you in bed. As she's riding your cock in cowgirl position, she'll wrap her arms around your neck, kissing you softly, and praising you for doing so good.

Sex with her is usually slow and sensual, she wants to enjoy every second of it.

I feel like she'd wear lingerie during sex. She'd also grab your wrists and place your hands on her boobs, moaning softly while she guides your movements.

Call her Mistress and she'd be heads over heels for you. Calling her that makes her feels so powerful and assertive. That turns her on and reminds her of how much she's in control of you. You're entirely hers, and that thought alone makes her happy.

I feel like she'd use sex toys that she made herself with her quick. Putting a gag in your mouth as she's behind you, fondling your nipples with the tip of her long nails, making you shiver, while she's gently stroking the tip of your cock. She'd kiss your neck softly and smirk whenever you moan at these stimulations. She'd also praise you, of course.

"That's good, baby, being so good for your Mistress~", she'd whisper in your ear with a gentle voice.

I feel like she adores your body. Not surprising, though, with her hands always caressing your torso.

I see her as an oral lover too. You, being on your knees, and Momo grabbing your hair firmly as she's forcing you to lick her pussy and sucking her clit, legs opened. She'd ride your face, too. And, if you're fine with it, she'll also try the same but with her asshole. And if you obediently swallow the cum that's leaking from her private part, she'll rewarn you by pushing you on the bed and sucking your dick so well, turning her tongue on the tip and deep-throating you, digging her cheeks and doing some noise to give you an even better experience. You're not allowed to touch her, though.

She is into orgasm control. Whenever she feels you're close, she'll stop everything, and you'll have to beg your Mistress for her to continue.

"Hm~ ? You want me to continue ? Then, why won't you beg for it, hm ? Come on, use your words, pretty boy."

She'll tease the shit out of you too. Your hands tied behind your back with soft rope, she'll place herself in front of you, open her legs, and start to sensually sucking a dildo and then putting it inside her. She won't stop until you're begging for her to touch you. Show her how much you crave her touch, and only here, she'll help you with that erection of yours.

She also loves to get her nipples sucked. While she's softly masturbating you, she'll place her hand behind your head, guiding it right through her nipples. They're sensitive, though, so that's where she'll moan the most when stimulated. If you're trying to provoke her on purpose by nibbling it, she'll put you in your place.

Her punishment are often tough and harsh. If she's punishing you, it's for a good reason. Thrusting her fat and big strap into you, firmly holding your hips, she'll free one hand to put her fingers in your mouth.

"Shut up and behave, slut. You want me to punish you some more, hm ? You know i wouldn't like that."

I feel like she'd also ruin your orgasm in punition. She'll put you in a chastity cage, that she'll tighten at the maximum, and slamming her hips onto yours, not finishing until she's satisfied. You could be screaming, crying or drooling that she won't stop.

If she's not using a strapon, she'd finger you hard. Placing her entire hand in your asshole and go back and forth in it, she'll be harsh.

I also feel like she'd ask you to place yourself in doggy-style position, placing herself behind you, and she'll start to lick your ass, milking you by the way. I don't know why. She just... loves that.

[matthyeu]

driver vs. passenger prince ― ot9.

pairing ⇢ ot9!zb1 x gn!reader 

genre ⇢ comedy, fluff

warnings ⇢ none

word count ⇢ 1.2k (0.1-0.15k per member)

synopsis ⇢ do you have the luxury of being driven by the boys or do you have to drive them around?

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ KIM JIWOONG - 80% driver 20% passenger prince

honestly idk why he’s 20 passenger prince 

i can only see him driving but also like no one’s 100% driver sometimes you gotta give them the luxury of sitting 

loves the look of driving like he’s always doing something with his other hand

maybe it’s leaning on the side while waiting at a red light or maybe it’s holding your hand 

if you’re just driving straight just know he’s gonna get touchy with you at one point 

let’s face it sometimes you get bored if you’re just driving and need something to hold 

and you can’t hold your phone for obvious reasons (i know a lot of you do anyway) 

it’s a good habit for him actually so he’s more focused on the road

though sometimes he gets a little too fixated on you

and that’s when it’s time for you to switch because he needs some space to just watch you drive yk 

because it’s better seeing another attractive person drive

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ ZHANG HAO - 0.5% driver 99.5% passenger prince

true passenger prince 

the 0.5 is for legal reasons bc i can’t compare him to yujin who can’t legally drive at all 

THIS MAN HE IS PASSENGER PRINCE

like the kind you think of when you think of passenger prince

like he really loves to recline in his chair and let you drive him everywhere

and you can’t even complain bc who’s cruel enough to let him drive?? 

can you really resist driving the zhang hao around 

even if he doesn’t need it, you want to drive him around 

his whole being is just asking to be driven even if it’s just going to the market to get something quick 

he’s so admirable in the passenger seat so i can’t blame you one bit

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ SUNG HANBIN - 90% driver 10% passenger prince

i know y’all like it when this man drives 

i see you on twt going insane & i fully understand that hanbin was just made for the driver’s seat

since bro drives i gotta give him the highest driver percentage like yeah it had to be done 

HE’S SO DRIVER THOUGH LIKE I LOOK AT HIM AND GO “hmmm yes he belongs there” 

like he seems like a good driver too 

you’re in good hands with him so be glad 

he just loves to have you in his passenger seat doing whatever it is you do

doesn’t want you to have to worry about the road to pls continue scrolling on tiktok or whatever 

hanbin’s there for you 

but also be there for him bc he needs his driver breaks 

he always sleeps in the passenger seat like no joke the moment he gets there he’s just gone LMAO

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ SEOK MATTHEW - 10% driver 90% passenger prince

yes i made mattbin opposites 

yes im a mattbin supporter my favs 

just had to after seeing the teasers DUHHHH 

like matthew’s such a supportive passenger prince always holding the phone for you for directions 

telling you when to merge, exit, turn, etc. 

also probably talks a lot and it helps keep you awake 

practically tells his entire life story while you’re going somewhere bc he wants to make sure he keeps you awake 

also points out all the the cute things on the side of the road like horses and stuff 

definitely always takes notice of your condition while driving 

sees when you’re getting tired & will ask to switch so you can rest 

cautious driver but just know he’s slow bc of it 

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ KIM TAERAE - 30% driver 70% passenger prince

idc if he can actually drive he’s a passenger prince

he only gets the bonus points because he can actually drive

like i wanted to put him 5/95 so bad but HE CAN DRIVE 

and he looks good while doing it so ig let him drive (ple im so excited for camp zerobaseone)

ANYWAY he kinda doesn’t care who drives like 

if you’re tired, he’ll drive 

if you wanna drive, he’ll let you drive 

literally the person who can drive but will only drive if the circumstances are necessary

but that’s FINE because he enjoys sitting next to you while driving 

mainly because he can turn on the radio and attempt to serenade you 

sometimes it helps you when you’re sleepy on long car trips lol

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ SHEN QUANRUI (RICKY) - 85% driver 15% passenger prince

totally a driver 

doesn’t matter how good he is he wants to drive and will like not let you drive tbh

he’s always getting those damn keys

he loves being able to drive you around and making you his lil passenger royalty 

spoils you a lot with coffee or whatever else you want 

ask and you shall receive fr!! 

if you asked him to drive you around at 2 am he would (wink wink spoiler) 

like jiwoong, he’s the type who fr likes how he looks when he drives 

for him, he would drive exclusively with one hand just because of that 

but sometimes yk he can get tired so that’s where you swoop in to help him 

gotta return the favor somehow amirite 

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ KIM GYUVIN - 25% driver 75% passenger prince

wants to be a driver so bad but you won’t let him after he almost crashed into a tree

he’s practically begging you to let him drive but you don’t wanna die soon 

so he’s always either whining or doing something random in the passenger seat 

you don’t even know what he’s doing sometimes bc you block it all out 

he would probably distract you & almost get y’all killed from the passenger seat too 

but he’s just having fun. how can you be mad at him?? (unless you actually almost crash, then please get mad) 

you’re the one taking his driver fun away so you shall suffer this way 

it’s either you get scared shitless in the passenger seat or get constantly annoyed in the driver’s seat 

pick your poison!! 

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ PARK GUNWOOK - 10% driver 90% passenger prince

he can’t drive legally yet but he probably would want to take the wheel sometimes

like the moment he is able he’s probably going to want to try to drive 

for now though he has to sit back and be driven

it would probably change when he’s able to actually drive 

like 40/60

because in his heart he still loves being able to not worry about the cars on the street 

pls let him drive sometimes though he’s desperate

like if you’re on a road trip & need to switch he will be so eager 

he wants to give back to the person who’s always driving him around so let him!! 

ع˖⁺𖤐ミ HAN YUJIN - 0% driver 100% passenger prince

he can’t even drive legally

he’s a baby like literally 

that’s the reason he’s the only 100% because no one can beat the literal minor 

he loves being spoiled to be driven everywhere

like he’s ready in the car whenever you wanna come

super convincing so like even if you don’t want to drive him you’ll end up doing it

it’s youngest privileges like he has the face to convince you to drive him to 7 eleven at 3 a.m. because he wants candy 

you will fall for him every single time and he knows it

that’s why he always bothers you at obscure times to come pick him up

he lives true passenger prince lifestyle because he controls you (his driver) too easily

in conclusion, zb1 is a group of passenger princes. 

[magpod-confessions]

Honestly i wanna hear opinions on season 4, cus im gonna confess i could NOT finish it (didnt move on to season 5 either lol). Got to like ep 135 & i just couldnt tell any of the episodes apart it felt like such a drag; just a slog of misery with some offhand Important 5 Minutes once in a blue moon. I hate repetition & i got the sparknotes from fandom/wiki stuff so yeahhh i just stopped listening; i still love TMA & it’s story & characters, it’s just the execution that got to me RIP

Everything felt kinda forced to me ig? Like there was some shoe-horned “humans are more monstrous than the actual monster” that snuffed S1 Jon’s fun cockiness/jackassery just to make him ? The best one in the archive ??? & all of his wrongdoings are either off-screen or justified by him being tricked into becoming a literal monster against his will (who would STARVE w/o his ‘evil-doings’, which didnt even kill ppl). Also felt like everyone got needlessly dumbed down except for Martin (the Love Interest ofc, who got 180’d from his pre-established incompetency to be some mastermind in a playing field he should have REALLY been inept in) just so they’d be blind to Jon’s situation & be mean to him LMAO

They started trying to make Jon accountable for “choosing this” & i couldnt handle it, held no fucking water to me—the guy being explicitly puppetted & manipulated as the entire plot? That guy is expected to take responsibility here? Felt like some after-thought theme they threw on top of it all. Anyways uhh feel free comment either on what i said and/or your personal thoughts on the season, or nothing if ya got nothing lol

🗣️

Ehh disagree. S4 isnt my fav but I dont think its bad. S1 Jon to s4 jon feels like natural character progression to me. He starts as acting all high and mighty to try hide the fact he has no idea what hes doing and is terrified, and then experiences a lot of ppl dying that he feels is due to him and is his responsibility. At that point his thought pattern is 'I keep messing up and making mistakes and getting myself and everyone around me hurt, so other ppl surely know better'. Hes got a lot of black and white thinking around him, which has been consistent throughout his entire characterization

I dont think any characters were dumbed down either

Melanie was always angry, she only go worse bc she had smth making her think everything she did was justified and when that stopped she became avoidant and stopped lashing out. She was still angry, just managing it better

Basira has always been Daisys no1, the person to justify all of Daisys actions. She knows what daisy did and why its bad but she holds onto the idea that daisy is right in doing so. She blames jon for what he does bc logically she knows its wrong, hurting ppl who havent done anything is wrong, but still excuses daisy bc she needs to. Bc that was a fact of her life and it cannot be wrong. In the unknowning she focuses on facts to keep her grounded and to her 'Daisy is a good person' 'Hurting ppl is wrong' and 'If you hurt ppl you are a bad person' are all facts she needs in her life to stay grounded. How she justifies Daisys actions is by saying that the ppl who daisy hurt were worse and it ultimately helps more ppl to have them gone. Not only can she not do that with Jon, as she believes those he hurts are entirely innocent, she also doesnt care to. Shes not close with Jon and she doesnt have 'Jon is a good person' as a fact in her mind, so she doesnt need to work to excuse his actions. Its all or nothing with her, if you hurt and continue hurting ppl, no matter your reason, you need to stop and the only way you will stop is if you are gone. She also has a lot of black and white thinking, gotta love the autism podcast

Martin being a mastermind in s4 also makes sense bc him being stupid is an act. If ppl think your stupid theyll underestimate you and ultimately leave you alone. They wont scrutinize you, they wont attack every part of you, they will brush it off as just a typical normal thing. It will get you ignored and you cannot be hurt if nobody knows who you are or how to hurt you. Its a lonely miserable existence but its one martins used to. Martin rarely drops the mask of 'Sweet but stupid' bc he needs that to survive and tbh he probably learnt that from needing to survive his mom LOL. Martin just knows and picks the best method of getting ppl to like him, which for him is doing exactly what they want and keeping their expectations low so they wont hurt him as much when they mess up. Honestly in s5 I see him as hes finally got to a place where he doesnt care if everyone hates him, bc he has someone who does and thats all he needs. Hes survived the worst of it and he doesnt care anymore

Part of the reason everyone blames Jon is bc he is there and he is the one who is currently causing the most problems. Also they dont actually see the extent that Jon is manipulated. Elias talks and interacts with Jon differently to how he interacts with others. All of them met Jon when he was already at the institute, they meet him when it does actually look like he made his choice, entirely of his own free will. It doesnt help that daisy is there, someone who completed their transformation like Jon did and turned back on it, and she looks like shes managing well enough. She is surviving without feeding so why cant Jon do the same? Also basira does trust elias on some level. She trusts he knows more than she does and can be an asset if used correctly, which definitely doesnt help things. Also the idea of Elias is locked up, he cant affect Jon anymore so why is Jon still acting this way. Elias has very effectively vilified and isolated jon and jon doesnt fight back against it bc he believes it as well. Other ppl are normally right so why wouldnt everyone be right abt him?

Oh my god that was an essay and I absolutely missed sooo much stuff but idk take that - rosette

i literally have nothing to add . rosette sincerely you are insane and i love that . i honestly don't have a lot of s4 opinions that i could really put down , but i also disagree anon . s4 may not have been the best , but it certainly wasn't Bad or not enjoyable to listen to . coming from someone who has listened to the podcast twice now [ and who is planning on a third relisten ] , i really do enjoy s4 as a whole . martin's buildup and his manipulation of peter lukas is honestly one of my favourite parts , because it has been said that martin was originally going to be apart of the mother of puppets ! this shows that part of martin we didn't get to see but has been there . i got distracted and don't remember what else i was gonna type um . whoops - deceit

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

Daddy's Girl.

"i wouldn't say i called it if i hadn't. but i called it when i said it was a sick joke"

karma akabane x spoiled!reader.

content: smut, mention of weed, smoking, getting high, innocent reader, corruption, "daddy", bully!karma, enemies to lovers ig, belly bulge.

hey guys!! first karma post. also first post on the new "EARTH'S GRIMEY CRIES" page!! i lately have taken interest in the color palette for cyan, blue, dark blue, and darker shades of red. "The Delicate Sound Of Thunder" live concert by pink floyd was an influence on this particular page design, and i love it. it's always nice that i can create a whole new page when i get out of room on my navigation centers, or when i want to. hopefully my sp fans aren't too upset that i want to write about other shows/people!! i'll be posting drafts and finishing requests soon.

karma is such an asshole.

to everyone, not even just you.

having not known him pained you as you thought he'd hated you for no reason other than you're a "taut daddy's girl who gets daddy's money". which was unreliable truth that nobody except select few in the entire school system knew. karma was one of those people.

he knows everything about everyone, it's terrifying, honestly.

"talk of that brat" karma scoffs as you walk over to talk to your tutor, nagisa, who'd oddly enough been on speaking terms with karma regardless of their differences and past experiences.

"nagisa, i got a b on our recent test, can you help me more in the future?"

"i don't see why no—"

"maybe if instead of buying you ponies, your daddy bought you an education; you wouldn't be in such a pickle, darling."

you sigh and walk away, assuming the help is useless anyway, and karma was right. you were just not bright when it came to academics because you were raised with everything a kid dreams of.

but he catches up to you.

"no hard feelings, princess?"

"no hard feelings? asshole. what is with you? can't you leave me alone?" you scoff and continue to walk, not bothering to eye him.

he sighs and jogs slightly to catch up with you. "alright– listen, i got an a+ on the recent test.. alright? let me help you."

"you? offering to help me? what kind of sick joke?"

"it's not a joke. come to mine at.. say seven." karma stops walking beside you to go find someone else to bother.

i wouldn't say i called it if i hadn't. but i called it when i said it was a sick joke.

you showed up at karma's doorstep at 7:00 PM, like he'd told you to. alarming detail being no cars in the driveway, where his parents cars are usually parked.

he'd opened the door. "hey princess. make yourself at home, you might be here a while." he invites you in with his usual sarcastic tone you hated.

"want like.. water? sorry it's not sparkly or whatever i don't drink that weird shit." he says as he grabs a glass and fills it with water, handing it to you.

karma starts to head upstairs and so you follow him into his room that's weirdly tidy and large.

karma was not poor, in fact his parents made the same money your dad did. just, karma took individuality when it came to money. decided to get a job at a young age and has been making his own money ever since and even bought his own car.

you didn't do that. you were always handed everything, so you grew up differently than karma. or at least with a different mindset.

"your room is nice." you compliment awkwardly to fill the silence as you just stand in the middle of the clean wooden floors.

"uh, are you gonna sit down or just stand there?" he tilts his head and chuckles, patting the spot right next to him on his bed.

you place your cup down on a table and cough softly even though you didn't need to, heading over slowly and sitting down fairly far from him.

but that distance didn't stay when he scooted closer anyway. "so! what's the score ya got on the test?"

"hey wait. why do you make fun of me all the time? for.. being fortunate i guess."

karma stays in silence for a moment before laughing. "you.." he pokes your chest and doesn't look into your eyes as he talks. "you aren't the fortunate one. your daddy is, and you take advantage of it.. that's what i make fun of."

you look down at his hand that lay still in your lap and grab it with your own hand. "i never got to know what it was like to be a teenager because my dad was strict. he used money to keep me away from the public, sex, drugs, parties, everything. that's not my fault."

he doesn't say anything for a couple seconds before he looks into your eyes. "huh. so you have never done any of that?"

you nod 'no'.

"hah! baby do you have a lot i need to teach you. to hell with the stupid test that we already did." karma laughs. "you've never even gone to a party?"

"nope."

"shit. you're such a virgin." he laughs and you look down in embarrassment. but he brings a hand to your chin and makes you look back up at him. "hey, no need to be embarrassed. hey let me help you."

"help me with what?"

"you ever wanted to get high?" karma asks, opening a drawer before taking out a pen. "this makes you tired, jus'so you know. your daddy cool if you stay the night? because baby you'll be out."

"mhm." you nod and bite your lip, shifting the way you're sitting in excitement. you always wanted to get high but never had the chance.

"you're ampy. guess my little innocent girl's not gonna be so innocent anymore, huh?"

my? you'd wonder about what he'd meant. but you didn't care because it made you feel good; at least in the way you took it.

he holds the pen up to your mouth. "breathe in.. then.. breathe in again. that's the only way i can really explain it to you."

and with that you took it to your mouth and did as he told you. "take another hit. but that's it, this can be strong and i don't know your tolerance, baby."

after you take another, you watch as he takes his and after that, it starts to hit you. the room starts moving into .5 and it's all zoomed out. it's cool, nothing like you'd ever experienced before.

you start to giggle.

"mhmm. you okay, baby?" karma asks and you nod, moving closer to him.

"uhuh. hey. what's next?" you ask, crawling into his lap and laying on him in tiredness.

"what do you mean, what's next?" he asks, rubbing my arm and conforting me. this was the sweetest karma had ever been.

"well you said— you said you were gon' teach me stuff. can teach me bout sex. take it from me?" you didn't even know what you were saying, or that it would affect you tomorrow. and you didn't care.

karma chuckles lowly and lays me down. "you're tired, can see it in your eyes."

"fuck me to sleep." you sit up and grab at the hair at the base of his neck, pulling on it before pulling his face into yours, kissing him softly. "please— all i wan' right now is you."

he takes his hands and parts your legs and rests himself between them, laying you back down to lean over you as he kisses down your neck, playing with the hem of your shirt.

through your shorts you felt the bulge inside his jeans pressing against your clothed core. you wanted it so bad. you take your hands to his face and pull him back up to kiss your lips.

whispering into his mouth "please, need you so bad.. karma."

now that he knew you knew what you were doing and with who, he went feral. he took off your shirt and unzipped your jean shorts.

you trace his jawline with your fingers and admire his pretty face as he removes his own clothes.

not long later his tip is pressed against your entrance. "are you sure you want this, baby?"

with one nod he thrusts into you painfully and your back arches as you moan loudly. he doesn't give you time to adjust as he starts thrusting at a quick paste.

your moans are loud and you scratch at his biceps and his back as tears prick your lash line.

"fuck karma— please.." you moan as he uses his thumb to play with your clit as the rest of his fingers press down on your lower abdomin, creating intense pleasure. the bulge in your belly was felt on his finger tips.

"oh, baby moan louder.. let my neighbors hear who fucking owns you.."

"fuck!! ugh—karma please please please please fuck harder." you moan out loudly, pushing him down into your chest and locking your legs around his waist so he can't pull out.

"baby don't do that.. im gonna cum soon." both hands go to your thighs so even if you tried to take them off you couldn't because he holds your legs firmly there, against his own command. "you're— real tense!" he squeezes his abs in a groan from the throat. "you're gonna cum?"

"mmmmhmm." you whine and nod, tears streaming down your face with all the pleasure.

"fuck im gonna breed you all good.. fill ya full with daddy's cum, yeah? you're mine, you know that? huh? tell me you're all mine." he groans and whines at you in a needy voice that makes your orgasm peak.

"all yours–! 'm cummin'!"

"god yes, cum with me baby." he groans and you release together, heavy breathing and leftover moans fill the room as they echo against the walls.

karma pulls out and falls beside you, who's about to be sleeping mind you.

"hey wait, don't you fall asleep. knew indica would get ya like this.. it always does with first timers." he sighs and gets up, grabbing a towel and walking back over to you, half lidded and looking up at him with dried mascara tear stained cheeks.

karma smiles softly at your expression once he knows you can't see him, rubbing the towel on your thighs and everywhere between your legs. he grabs a shirt and helps you sit up, putting it on you and grabbing your panties, that he also puts on you before laying you back down.

he lays beside you and you drag heavy limbs to snuggle into his chest and side. "thanks.. for all this. guess im not your little innocent girl no more."

"you're still my girl.. told ya that, didn't i?" he says and you giggle softly, nodding into his chest. "good, so.. you're my not-so-innocent little girl now, huh?"

[veintrry]

what are we?

wanderer x gn!reader, could be a modern au, angst & fluff, he's scared of trusting his 'heart'.

an: i had a dream he asked this (he asked more but I couldn't remember) and it was like a twitter back and fourth😭

ac: @/syea-say on tmblr | @/syea_say on twt & ig

"What kind of relationship do we have?"

The question came abruptly, bringing the silence to an end. You noticed beforehand that it seemed like something was on his mind, he appeared to be elsewhere in his mind, pondering deeply. Is this what that was about?

He doesn't wait for you to answer, not yet, he continues,

"Love always ends in disappointment." He turns to face you properly, a stoic look in his eyes, his lips pressed into a line. "You're a mortal too, so what's the point of pursing something like this when it'll come to an end anyways?"

He was right to say that. I mean, you are a mortal, you have an expiration date, so does everyone, but to you and the majority of others it's normal, because it's something you learn to live with an accept.

"Everything ends at some point, you know there's not much to be done about that. We can only make good of what we have now."

"That's such a boring answer." He scrutinises you, his brows furrowing. "You know that's not what I want to hear."

You stare back at him, quiet as you think of what to say. You could easily just tell him that you won't leave him, that you'll never allow that to happen. But you can't make such a huge promise, if you break it, it would feel like a lie. You don't want to lie to him, but you don't want to disappoint him.

"There is no real point." You turn your head to look elsewhere, opting to view the scenery than see his face scrunch up. You didn't want whatever reaction he had to offer you, not when you weren't sure if the reception would be good.

"Do you think I do things because they'll last?" You crouch down to the plants nearby, touching their tips with your finger. "Nothing lasts. Everything ends." Life was no different than a leaf, but what defined it was not the tree that beared it nor it's kind but rather how far it travelled, how big it's world was. "But if I just did nothing my entire life and waited for that end to come it would've been no different from the beginning."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" The wanderer crosses his arms. He doesn't want anything complicated right now, each answer that isn't what he wants to hear sounds more like the opposite; Like you don't want to be here, with him.

Turning your head up at him, he was starting to bother you with his unspoken persistence for you to just say what he wanted you to and you began speaking directly, "I'm saying that the only reason life is considered to have an end is based on if you actually do something during it." You stayed quiet for a bit before letting out a heavy breath after some contemplation. "I don't want to do nothing." It didn't matter how many years passed, how old you are or how weak you are. If you still have time then you might as well live in it.

"Kuni, you might have existed a long time but have you properly lived? You act so humane and yet you deny any internal ties to humanity. Isn't it more like you're using my mortality as an excuse to forbid yourself from acknowledging your own denials?"

That, that was most definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. You having said you can't be here with him would have been bad, but somehow this was worse because he had his reality forced infront of him. It was humiliating in a way, to be exposed when you were always bare. You can see his face growing frustrated, he seemed as though he was trying to bite his tongue but you might've struck a nerve. "An excuse?" A degrading laugh erupted from his throat, "Are you serious? Why would I need an excuse? I don't need to be human in the first place, this has nothing to do with that. You're the one making up things and avoiding giving me an answer."

You were on the brink of leading to an argument and even you couldnt keep your head cool. You stand up in defense as you shoot back. "I'm not avoiding anything. I'll stay with you for as long as my lifespan allows it, but I cannot and will not tell you that I will stay forever."

There was an aching silence that followed. As though this was concrete, like this was just shattering. You didn't know what it was breaking, you didn't know if it was your relationship or him, but you had to try and fix it before it worsens.

"Kuni, I love you, I want you to be happy, not just now but onwards as well." Your gaze falls onto his hands. You want to reach out, but you cant bring yourself to out of fear he'd deny you. You know he might want you to, as a sign of.. anything, but you can't. "I don't want you to rely on me, I want you to be capable of accepting yourself and finding comfort within who you are."

"Well then, ...Who am I?" The wanderers head stays stuck to the ground as if if he keeps his sights on it it would open up and just, do something, swallow him, let him forget this, forget everything, Bury him deep in the dirt and have the roots of all life suffocate him. "What?"

"You said within who I am, so, who am I?"

You didn’t want to do this a second time, "Kuni-"

"Please," He pauses, releasing a shaky breath from the confines of his chest. "just answer."

"You're who you say you are. I won't define you."

He latches onto your wrist, pulling you to him, underneath his hat as his head beckons upwards and you finally get to see his face rid of that anger. Instead, it is replaced with a pleading look, almost desperate. "I want you to,"

"I need you to do it. I don't know how else I am meant to do it. I don't know who I am. I wasn't meant to have an identity, I'm not like you, I'm not a human." In a way, admitting that was a painful thing. No matter how alike to humans he was, he wasn't one. "You were made, I was built. You breathe the moment you are born, I taught myself to." The more he spoke you felt like he was trying to implement this difference into your mind, that if you couldn't promise him forever you should be irked by him.

"We are different, but you are still a person to me. Do you think that I've ever seen you as anything else? Do you think I want to leave you alone? I care for you, I do so much that it kills me. And I hate how if you asked something of me I'd give it to you so easily, but not this. I won't lie to you." It would've been an odd thing for you to say, but to you, the wanderer made you feel alive, it made all the previous events of your life pale in comparison, and you truly, felt alive. You don't know why but with this emotion came care and you want to continue to value him, to love him, even when you've passed.

"Our relationship doesn't matter, you just need to know that I love you." You yank his wrist and pull him into you as your other arm slips under his and around his back, holding him tightly as you rest your head in the coup of his neck. "I love you, Kuni. I love you, I love you, I love you." And with each time you repeated it you lifted your head to his neck, planting small kisses, hoping he can feel it, what you do.

The wanderer merely stood there, paralysed. He still wants the unreal fantasy of eternity. But, he finds himself caving to the warmth of what you were offering despite how bittersweet it. It was fulfilling despite the fact it reflects the temporary time you two had, but he no longer found his mind wandering off to then, to when you'd slip away from him. He could feel you. Hands slither to your back, pulling you deeper into him, so deep till there was no space between you two but he still wanted more. He wanted to be with you, just as one, to know all of you. And he was worried he wouldn't have enough time for that. But just for now, for this moment, he wants to listen to your voice, to feel your body temperature, and rest.

He simply leans in, and kisses your forehead, before tilting his head onto yours. This is fine, this is okay. He can live with this, for as long as he can have it.

[idontplaytrack]

Running through my brain

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader (+older sister Regina)

Warnings: some coarse language, fluff, mention of a family member’s passing & divorce.

First date! Read part one here / part three

(Pictures used are from Pinterest & Auli’i’s IG)

“Remind me…is she picking you up or do I have to drop you off?” Regina asks, knowingly. Wanting to poke fun at you and see you get flustered at the thought of Janis.

“She’s picking me up, stop that.”

“Getting to see you so happy? Never stopping this.” Regina chuckles over her words.

“I’m nervous.”

“And that’s fine!” Regina assured, “As long as you don’t puke on her.”

You looked at her absolutely horrified at the possibility, it did happen once in first grade for an entirely different reason— but it happened, you’d puked in class due to nerves or stress, or both.

“Stoooop.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll shut up.” Regina threw her hands up in mock surrender. “Just have fun today, okay. It’s pretty clear to me she feels the same way or is at least interested in getting to know you better. You have plenty of time.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t even realise you’d been holding, “Guess so, thanks, Reg.”

At this moment, you got a text from Janis saying that she’d arrived so you gave Regina a quick hug goodbye and left the house. “Hi!” Janis exclaimed while you walked closer to her car.

“Hey.” You replied, smiling slightly while you opened the door and got into the front seat with her. The drive was silent for awhile, but Janis didn’t seem to mind that you weren’t talking. While she was comfortable with it, you felt that the lack of a conversation was tense.

“So…have you decided what we should have for lunch yet?” You decided to break the silence.

“Well, there’s this new Mexican place at the mall. Along the promenade…heard it’s pretty good. You wanna try?”

You knew which establishment she was referring to. You saw it two weeks ago when you were at the mall with Regina. There was a bit of a line, so you guys didn’t get to try it then since the hunger got the best of you both and you decided to go somewhere else without a wait time.

“Okay, though there was a bit of a line when I passed by that place two weeks ago. So hopefully the hype’s died down a bit.”

Janis nods, “We’ll go check it out, if the line’s still too long we’ll eat somewhere else.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell—”

Janis says, biting back a laugh, “Oh, no, I don’t have to tell him everything. He’s already annoying you now, imagine what it would be like if I had told him? He would probably have shown up just to see how things are going.”

You chuckled, “He’s um…very supportive.”

“More like annoying. I need some peace and quiet sometimes…the last thing I need while spending time with you is his excited yapping.” Janis continues.

You heart skipped a beat hearing her say those words, gripping tightly onto your fork, you ate another mouthful of the food while your eyes stayed focused on her as she spoke.

“As if I don’t have enough worries running through my brain thinking about how to talk to you without seeming like a weirdo.” She murmurs. You could barely hear any of what she’d just said.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” She brushes it off, “Not important.”

“Oh.” You exhaled, reaching for your drink. “Okay.”

“So…where do you wanna go after this?” She asked, back to her previous excitement in tone.

“Uh, probably just walk around here for a bit?”

“Sounds good.” Janis shrugs, checking her phone that just buzzed in her hand, “Did…your sister just follow me on Instagram?”

You took a peek at the screen, “Oh, yeah. That’s her.”

“Why? Does she not trust me? I mean— of course, but come on!” She bursts into a bit of laughter at the end. You couldn’t help it but laugh as well, “I dunno. I never really know what she’s thinking anyway. She seems to keep all her problems to herself and still has to help me with mine.”

Janis sighs softly, “I uh, I heard about your mom and dad getting divorced. And I’m sorry, that’s got to be really difficult.”

Woah, now. The conversations took a very non-lighthearted turn. “Um…” You began, “It- it was. But now after some time, I’ve just became a very angry person honestly. They were both at fault, though to me, my Dad was worse. But our relationship with mom is still pretty bad. After our Dad left, she literally just left me under Regina’s care most of the time while she’s off somewhere to ‘clear her mind’.”

“I shouldn’t have talked about that, I’m so sorry.”

You shook your head, “I’m not sad, I’m just angry honestly. I don’t have a problem talking about it.”

Janis nodded solemnly, “Well, for me, my Mom died when I was in second grade. Along with my baby sister. She went to the hospital to have my sister and she just never came home. I couldn’t understand, but I knew she was gone and I was crying for like, days.”

“Oh.”

Shit.

“What are we doing? We came out to have a good time and now we’re making ourselves upset.” Janis breathes out heavily, you saw her gulp, looking up to fan the forming tears away.

‘Don’t cry, y/n.’

‘Don’t cry.’

‘Don’t cry. You can’t cry.’

Your memory of her Mom was so vague because of how young you were, and you and Regina were rarely at her place too. Janis always came over to yours. You felt bad for not being able to remember much, if at all. But more so because she was crying.

“I’m okay.” She looked at you, noticing how worried you looked. “y/n.” She chuckles, “I’m fine, I’ll always miss her and I’ll always get a little teary eyed, because she’s my Mom, but— I promise you, I’m okay.”

She reaches out to put her hand on yours, giving it a squeeze. “Look at me. I’m good, okay?”

“Okay.” You muttered, squeezing her hand back. She smiles, making you do the same thing.

————

“You wanna go on the ferris wheel?” She asks.

“The—” You looked up, pointing at it.

“Yeah.” Janis nodded eagerly, “Come on, it’ll be fun. I’m right here with you, you’ll be fine.”

Heights. You had a fear of heights.

Yet, you pushed that aside and trusted that you would be okay as long as she was with you. And that you would keep your eyes anywhere but look outside. You really liked her that much, huh.

She breaks into a little smile when she caught you staring at her, but right now it was more of you being scared shitless about looking outside and possibly downwards. “Having fun there?” She teased.

“No.” You admitted, “Not really. I may have a fear of heights,”

“Damn.” She says, beside you, “And you chose to come on here instead of rejecting the idea?”

“I dunno, I’m stupid.” You stared at the floor. Then you feel her arm go around your waist, “Well…I don’t think you’re stupid. I think it was pretty sweet that you chose to face your fear. And so brave.”

You eased up a little bit feeling her touch. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know?”

“I’m not lying.” She says, earnest.

You only shrug, leaning onto her more now. “You’re okay. I won’t let anything happen to you. I don’t want your sister to kill me, you know?”

You giggled, resting your head on her shoulder as you recalled what happened so far today. She doesn’t move away, so you two stayed like that for a good part of the ride back down to the ground.

After the ferris wheel, you dragged her to go play a game. And though she was reluctant at first, she eventually gave in and just played the game so she could win you a prize. You told her it was fine after three failed rounds, but then she just got so determined to win you something that she said she didn’t want to leave until she had one of those stuffed animals in her hands.

“Janis, it’s okay! Let’s just go get something to eat.” You spoke over the commotion.

“Nope! You want something, you’re gonna get something.” She disagrees.

Twenty dollars later, Janis left satisfied, handing the plush over to you. “Now we can go grab a snack.”

“Alright then.” You say, impressed, “Thanks, Jan.”

“You’re welcome.” She grins, arm finding its way over your shoulders.

Does this mean anything? Should I tell her I like her? Is it too soon? Is she doing this because she feels the same way? Or is this just a friend thing?

Those thoughts came back to irritate you again, you shook your head as though to get rid of them while you walked towards a food stall with Janis. You two got deep fried oreos to share, then sat down at a bench to rest your feet. It was quite crowded, so you guys were lucky a group of people just finished their food and left the bench.

“Are you okay?” Janis asks, mouth filled with the snack, “Tired?”

“A little. But yeah, I’m alright.”

“Eh, we’ll get going after this. You want anything else?” She chuckles over her words. You could feel her still watching you closely.

You guys have been out almost all day.

“Hey. What’s on your bucket list?”

“Never really had one, to be honest. I mean, the only thing I’ve really been wanting to do was to go back home. Like— to Hawai’i. I haven’t been able to go back there, not because me and my Dad can’t afford it, fortunately. But because I cannot muster up enough courage to go back to where I lost— you know what? Never mind I don’t want to bring that up again and upset us both. I don’t want to end the night on such a heavy note.”

“You don’t have to say it. I get it, and I hope one day, you’ll be able to go back there and see your home again because I get how it feels to have a home and not be able to go home to it, not being to go home to it and have it feel like home, but something else so…painful.”

“You’re so sweet.” Janis smiles to herself, handing you a fork with a fried oreo on it. You took it from her silently. “What about you? What’s on your bucket list?”

“To visit all the Disney parks in the world? I don’t know, okay? It just sounds so trivial after what you told me.” You tried not to laugh at yourself.

“Hey, it’s your bucket list.” She points out, “Don’t feel bad about it.”

Tossing the takeout box into a trash can, Janis walks back to her car with. She unlocks the doors with her keys and you got in, buckling up and holding the slightly oversized Squishmallow on your lap. You nodded off for a part of the drive, and when she was just a few minutes away from your house, you woke up.

Again, you could feel eyes on you. So you turned your head and snuck a glance at her. She didn’t even look away, “Hey.”

You gave her a sleepy smile and nodded off again while hugging the toy in your lap. She laughs to herself, “Very comfy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled.

Janis had to wake you up after pulling up to the front of your house. “Come on!” She tugs on your arm dramatically, “Your bed’s right upstairs~”

You woke up and sulked.

“Don’t act cute with me.” She pursed her lips together to hide the smile. “Come on, go up, go to bed.”

“Can you spend the night?” You asked without thinking twice.

Woah?

“No, I don’t think Regina would like that.”

“I would like that.” You got out of the car.

“I’ll come by tomorrow?” She suggests.

You gave in, “Okay.”

“Okay.” She confirmed, engulfing you in a hug before you fully left the front yard. “Good night, silly.”

“Silly.” You giggled to yourself, hugging her back.

“Wow, you really need to get some sleep.” She mumbles, “Okay, sleep tight. I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n.”

“Bye, Jan.” You told her happily, turning around and walking up the porch, unlocking the front door.

“How was your date?” You hear Regina the second you stepped inside the house. Cady was beside her.

“Great.” You answered with no hesitation, too tired to even have a filter on your words. With that, you went right upstairs to your room to wash up and got dressed in pajamas for bed. Plopping face down onto the very comfortable Squishmallow, you were just about to go fall asleep once again when your phone went off.

Janis decides to take the leap and make a little bit of a move, though now a little more anxious than she liked to be while awaiting a response from you.

She had expected you to be asleep already so when she saw the typing indicator pop up, her sleepiness went away immediately. You on the other hand, was feeling as calm as you could be. But absolutely bursting with excitement and joy. Perhaps you just needed to be sleepy enough to let your guard down and stop worrying. Chuckling to yourself, you typed a reply for her and sent it.

The typing indicator disappears from Janis’ screen and then, this pops up for her.

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

Part 2!!

(Peep the contact name changes😗)

[berberriescorner]

Nobody's Gonna Know

(Part One)

Characters: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as himself x Black!reader (woc!reader), Michael B. Jordan as himself (appearance), and Kiana Ledé as “Jerrika” (appearance).

Summary: What happens when you realize what you’ve always wanted was right in front of your face the entire time?

Warnings: Profanity, daddy kink (you’re not surprised), smut, mentions of violence, drinking, and did I mention smut already😈?

Word Count: (Part One) 4,100+/9,000+. Sorry, lovelies, I couldn’t stop😆.

A/N: Yes, it’s lengthy, but the idea snowballed into something unexpected. I hope you all enjoy it!

Inspired By:

Lounging lazily on your king-size bed, you laid on your back comfortably in an oversized t-shirt. You silently scrolled through Instagram. Your breath hitched at the feel of fingertips gently stroking your calves. Still staring at the phone screen, a wicked little idea popped into your head. You smirked, tapping the add a new post button. Using your free hand, you positioned it atop the head that rested on your pelvis and between your thighs. Not wanting to give him reason to stir, you gently stroked his head, and he relaxed into your touch. The movement of your hand paused long enough to snap the picture. He was none the wiser as he continued to search for something to watch on HBO Max. Eyes still searching the screen, he turned his head slightly and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“Soft ass thighs.”

A soft moan fell from your lips. You made sure Yahya’s face wasn’t in the shot. Your digits glided across the keyboard, adding a Nicki Minaj lyric as the caption, “My man full, he just ate💦😘.” You tapped the post button and laid your phone on the nightstand.

Yahya had just licked you to tears. No one knew about the two of you. That you started as best friends turned into a sneaky link. The both of you have secretly been trying to figure out what this was morphing into. Unsure of where things were going, you decided to keep things quiet. You both enjoyed teasing the people in your inner circle on IG (they were all extremely nosey). Thus the reason for posting said pic—that it would sometimes get a rise out of the other person was a bonus.

Yahya received a notification that you had posted. Still lying between your legs, he teased, “What thirst trap are you posting now?” He froze, seeing a picture of his current position. He huffed, “You for real?”

Yahya rolled over, still lying on top of your stomach. His hand rained down on your thigh.

“I thought this was supposed to be on the low? You damn near ripped my head off for telling my bro I was over here in the middle of the night. I guess the rules only apply to me,” Yahya grumbled. His face changed from frustration to a sly grin.

“Boy, calm down. Nobody’s going to know that’s you. That’s what makes it so exciting, you teased. “And why do you have that stupid grin on your face?”

“I just noticed the caption, so I’m your man now?”

“Don’t do too much. They’re just lyrics. Relax, my guy.”

“Yeah, right. When are we going to stop playing this game?”

“What game, Yah'?”

“Stop acting like this isn’t more than just a sneaky link now. I’ve been blowing your back out for over four months.”

“And I greatly appreciate it. Why do we have to get into specifics? We have amazing sex. No need to make it more complicated.”

“Are you dating anyone else? I know you better not be fucking anybody other than me, Y/N.”

“I’d hardly call a few dinner dates that haven’t gone past friends, dating. It’s been nothing but innocent, Yah'.”

His jaw ticked at the revelation of you being in the presence of another man’s company.

“For the record, I don’t make a habit of having more than one sexual partner. That’s your thing, not mine.”

“You refuse to let that shit go, huh? I slept with her one time! We had just started whatever this was at the time. I cut her off once I knew this wasn't a one-and-done situation. Who exactly did you go on a date with, sweetheart?”

The question and term of endearment dripped with jealousy. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for more confrontation. There was no doubt in your mind that the answer would upset him.

“Michael. I know you don’t like him. We just went on two dates. Nothing happened, Yah'.”

He pulled into a seated position on the mattress.

“Out of all these thirsty ass dudes that beg for your attention. He had to be the one you said yes to. How many times have I told you that’s a waste of your time? How do I get you to understand that he just wants to knock you down?”

“Is that not what you’re doing with me?“

“Stop that shit. You know how I feel about you. Your ass doesn't want to hear it because you’re scared. We both know this could be so much more.”

“This is stupid. Why are we arguing? We’re not a couple. This is supposed to be easy and chill.”

“There you go deflecting as usual,” he sighed.

“Do you want me to delete the damn picture, Yahya? It’s the reason this conversation even took place.”

“No, no. Leave it up. You know what? You’re right, love. Lay back down. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company.”

Yahya was the least bit worried about your IG post. It was only for close friends, and he wanted them to wonder. Acting angry was just a means to an end. He had a reason to get his lick back. Now, he had an excuse for what he was planning.

Hearing you went on two dates with Michael sent jealousy coursing through his veins. He made a mental note to keep his enemies closer. Seeing that you were focused on the show, he went to Instagram. Yahya went to Michael’s page and added him to his close friends. 

He wanted to see how your friends were reacting to your photo. He pulled up your page and skimmed through the comments. Yahya chuckled at your best friend's comment. In bold letters, she said, “Okay, best friend! I see you! No clue who that is, but get that head in your comfortable bed! Yaaasss👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I expect full details and a face reveal when we link tomorrow. I’m tired of all this damn anonymity.” Yahya laughed, knowing that you weren’t giving up any information.

Yahya waited two days before he put his plan in motion. He hit your line, inviting you for a movie night at his place. You were sure the night would end on your back with Yahya between your thighs. Anytime the two of you were alone, your hands always seemed to roam. Every time you two gave into temptation, it would go for rounds. Knowing this, you brought an overnight bag. He knew just how to put you to sleep.

Only twenty minutes into the movie, you were already at the edge of the mattress. Yahya placed you on all fours with your box braids wound tightly around his hand. He tugged at them, pulling you into the most perfect of arches. His free hand crept to the top of his nightstand. You were plunged deep into the throes of passion and hadn’t noticed him pick up his phone. The only light in the room came from the television. Pistoning in and out of your tight walls, he managed to open Instagram. Yahya needed it to be pitch black to pull off his scheme.

“Nobody watching this shit for real, baby. Alexa! Turn off the tv in the master bedroom,” he groaned.

The tv shut off as he pulled out and slammed back into your slick heat.

“Ye-yes. Fuck, baby,” you cried, arching your back deeper.

His face lit up at that. He continued giving slow, deep strokes as he recorded you both in the dark.

Yahya made sure this was for close friends only. With confirmation, he laid the phone on the mattress next to the two of you. He proceeded to put in work, going crazy in your walls. Your sweet, soft, and sensual moans were like music to his ears. You were used to Yahya laying some good pipe, but tonight he was on demon time. This man was trying to tear your walls down and ruin you for any other man.

“Feel me deep in your shit, baby?”

You moaned in response.

He thrust so deep that your hands instantly flew to his abdomen. You tried to push back against his stomach, wanting him to take it easy on you. He growled, binding your wrist with his free hand.

“Move your fuckin’ hands,” he half moaned, half growled. His hand let go of your hair and rained down, smacking and grabbing your left cheek. He slapped the right cheek before burying his digits in your braids again. “I thought you could take all of it, baby? That’s what you begged for. Right, love? Hmm? This ain’t what you wanted?”

You whimpered.

A faint “Please, Daddy” escaped your lips. 

“What is it, baby? Use your words.”

“I can-ah!”

“Yes, you can, baby. You gon’ be my good girl, and take it,” he whispered, trailing kisses down your back, fully sheathing himself inside you. His length tapped that spot deep within you.

 “Y-yes, baby, I’ll take it, g-give me that di-Yes, Yah'!”

Yahya tapped at your spot repetitively, sending you spiraling. You buried your face in the mattress, clawing at the bedding. Your release approached, barreling toward you like a freight train as you attempted to muffle your screams in the sheets.

“Good. Fucking. Girl. Each word was highlighted with another thrust. “Yeah, come just like that, mama.”

Satisfied with himself, Yahya ended the video and posted it to his stories. He hoped none of your closest friends would recognize your voice. There was only one person he needed to figure it out, Michael. Yahya knew you were going to throw a fit, but so long as nobody could see you. He felt he could get you to be cool with it. Leaning against you, he licked, nibbled, and kissed your shoulder. He was still plunged deep inside you and solid as a rock. Yahya’s lips trailed over to your ear. Releasing a deep groan, he rasped, “Hope you got one more in you, love. Daddy needs to come too. He pulled out until it was just the tip. About to respond, he plunged deep inside, forcing you to gasp. Yahya pulled two more orgasms from your body before spilling inside you.

He made quick work of getting a warm cloth to clean you up. You moaned at the sweet actions of his aftercare. Yahya smirked at how easily it was to turn you on. He swaggered into the bathroom and finished cleaning himself up. 

Collapsing into bed, he pulled you closer and pressed his lips against yours. Rolling onto your side, you pushed back against him, making yourself the little spoon. Yahya’s hand crept from your thigh and up the side of your body. His large palm found its destination as it gently cupped your breast. His lips left light kisses on your shoulder and neck.

“You’re always trying to cop a feel,” you sassed, sucking your teeth.

“You know this is my emotional support Titty.”

“Shut up, Yah',” you giggled.

Yahya bit his lip and smirked as he tweaked your nipple.

“Uhn-uh! If you’re going to be on my body like this, your ass needs to behave and sit still. I’m exhausted thanks to your big dick bandit ass,” you teased.

“You know you like that shit,” he responded, tugging at your nipple again.

He pressed his semi-hard erection against you. The action caused your breath to hitch.

“Tell me you don’t want me again, and I’ll let you sleep,” he whispered, nibbling your earlobe.

About to reply sarcastically, you lost your train of thought as he dipped his hand between your thighs.

“You were saying something, love?”

“Fuck, you don’t play fair,” you panted.

“Come here, mama. Want you to ride me.”

Sliding down his length, it became clear you wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.

“Yah', baby,” you whined.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m going to make you feel good. Ride me, mama,” he urged, guiding your hips.

Though he had fallen asleep satiated and peacefully, his morning was the opposite. Yahya jolted out of his sleep as he struggled to breathe. You had covered his face with a pillow while chastising him.

“I just know your big-headed ass didn’t record us fucking and post it to close friends! Please tell me my eyes are deceiving me.”

Yahya's hand tugged at the pillow over his face. He snatched the pillow, throwing it across the room. He overpowered you, flipping you onto your back as he smirked.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want your side hoes to find out about me?”

“The only side hoe I have is you.”

“Naw, sweetheart. I’m your main dude. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Whatever! You better hope nobody recognizes my voice, freaky ass,” you kissed your teeth.

“Oh, I hope they do,” he smiled. “You’re not even mad, for real. I know that shit lowkey turns you on. Listen to those pretty little moans, mama.”

You did your best to bite back a smile but lost. Yahya licked his lips, giving you a million-dollar smile.

“I know I sound good. You ain’t gotta sweat me or nothin’.”

“I should’ve left the lights on while I recorded that shit. Give them something to really talk about.”

“You want to tell people we fuck so bad,” you teased.

“It’s going to come out sooner or later. I’ma make you mine, shortie. You can continue to run from it but in the end. You’re going to be mine.”

Wanting to avoid such a touchy topic, you switched the subject.

“Boy, shut up and feed me. I’m hungry. What’s for breakfast, best friend?”

Yahya smiled devilishly, “This dick.”

“Nasty ass. I want food, Yah',” you whined.

“That’s a whole ass meal, fuck you mean?”

Eyes rolling and smacking your teeth, he laughed.

“I forgot how cranky you can be in the mornings. Let’s get the baby’s tummy full. What do you want to eat, baby girl,” he responded in his best baby voice.

“Can you make french toast and bacon? You make it better than I do,” you asked in a cute tone.

“You know I can’t say no to that voice and face. Come on, spoiled brat,” he teased as he slapped your thigh.

Yahya scooped you from the bed, dangling your body over his shoulder. His hand grabbed a handful of your behind, giving it a loud smack.

“Ouch, Yah'! That hurt,” you whined.

“I didn’t mean to smack it that hard. My bad,” he smirked, rubbing the pain away.

“Lying ass.”

Carting you off to the kitchen, he got you fed and full. Neither of you had anything planned. The two of you spent the remainder of your Sunday binging television and ordering takeout. 

When the time came for you to head out, Yahya felt his chest tighten. He was sad to see you leave. If only you two could figure out where to go from here. He’d have you sleeping in his bed every night. Little did you know, your best friend’s feelings for you had existed as long as the friendship had. He just never knew how to tell you. The chemistry and attraction lingered between the two of you. That is, until one drunken night, he did something about it. He fell back on his couch, missing you already, as his mind drifted back to that night.

You were spiraling down a black hole of heartbreak. Yahya came running to offer support and a listening ear to vent to. 

His fist balled up, jaw flexing as his memory replayed the image of you opening the door. 

Your eyes were bloodshot and glassy as you did your best to keep from crying again. Yahya’s heart sank seeing how distraught you were. He stepped closer to you, and in a low baritone, he said, “Hey, mama.” The sympathy in his soothing voice sent a fresh trail of tears rolling down your cheeks. He sighed as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you as close as possible. Yahya’s chin rested on your head as you curled into his chest, body trembling as the tears flowed. “You’re going to be straight, mama. I promise I got you,” he soothed, rubbing his hands up and down your back. He gave you a minute or two to let it all out. Releasing you, he bent back, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe your tears. Yahya leaned forward, sweeping you up bridal style. “Let’s get you comfy on the couch. I’ll fix us some drinks and snacks. Then you can tell me everything, alright?” Giving him a faint nod, Yahya kicked the door closed. He made quick work of getting you situated on the couch. Yahya wrapped you in your comfort blanket. Gently kissing your forehead, he whispered, “Be right back, love.”

He called from the kitchen, “Are you in the mood for something light or heavy?”

“This calls for the hard shit. Bring the tequila. I don’t even need a damn chaser. Give me something that will make me forget the last twenty-four hours.”

Yahya strode back into the living room, alcohol in hand.

“What are you about to tell me, love?”

“Maybe you should take a couple of shots first.”

Yahya set the shot glasses and bottle on the coffee table. His hand ran down his face as he took a deep breath, “Am I going to have to beat his ass?”

You sat up straight, dropping the blanket around your waist. Pouring two shots, you answered, “Just promise me you won’t lose your temper.”

“No.”

“Yah', please,” you begged, voice trembling.

“The desperation in your voice tells me that I’m going to regret this, but fine, I promise not to lose my temper. What happened?”

“Drink first.”

Shots were thrown back, and you grimaced, pouring out two more. After the second, you started to pour another round, but Yahya’s hand gently grasped your wrist, “No-.”

A small whimper fell from your lips as his eyes grew. Yahya’s eyes darted from your weary ones down to your wrist. His hands were like lightning as he slid your sleeve up a bit.

“No, fuck that, mama! Is this a bruise?” 

“You promised, Yah'.”

“Promises are meant to be broken. Where the fuck is his punk ass at?”

He sprang from the couch, searching his pockets for his keys.

“Where’s he at?”

“No, please, Yahya. You promised! I handled it.”

“Why are you protecting his bitch ass? Has he been putting his hands on you this whole time?”

“I’m not protecting him. I know he’ll press charges against you. It’s not worth it. This is the only time it’s happened, honestly!”

“Don’t lie for him. Tell. Me. Where. He. Is.”

“I’m not lying, Yah'. This is the first time. I handled it, I swear. You should see the side of his face. I smacked the shit out of him.”

“Did he hit you anywhere else,” he asked, checking your face and body for more bruises.

“No, I’m telling you the truth. We were arguing about him getting caught up in his lies and cheating. I told him I was done and that he needed to get the hell out of my house. This dude had the nerve to snatch my wrist, demanding I hear him out. I told him he was hurting me. His response was he didn’t give a fuck. That pissed me off, so I slapped him. He charged at me, and I kicked him in the nuts. How do you cheat on me with a bitch I called a friend and have the nerve to be mad that I no longer wish to be with you? The audacity!”

“I pray he tries to show up while I’m here.”

“He won’t. It’s over, and he understands that now.”

Yahya looked at you, not quite believing it.

“I told his ass if he tried contacting or coming near me again that you’d beat his ass. That or he was going to have a chat with Nina.”

“Thought you didn’t want me to put hands on him. You swear your ass is tough with that baby Glock. Who the fuck puts hot pink on the butt of their gun,” he retorted.

“I don’t want you to, smart-ass, but he knows you would. It was only said to get my point across that I was done with him. Not too much on my baby, Nina.”

Yahya sighed, frustrated that he’d have to keep his promise. He reclaimed his spot on the couch, crossing his arms irritated. You kissed your teeth, “I know you're not mad at me for keeping you out of trouble?”

“It’s whatever. He needs his ass beat, though,” he sulked.

“Just leave it alone, Yah'.”

“I heard you the first time.”

The room grew quiet. It stayed that way for a little while. That was until he heard you sniffling.

“I’m not mad at you, love. I just really want to rock his shit.”

“I know you’re not mad at me. It’s just.”

“What is it, mama?”

“Am I not good enough? Dudes do me dirty, and people I call friends turn out to be grimy. You’re the only person who has always been down for me. I’m so thankful for your years of loyalty and friendship,” you rambled, tears sliding down your face.

Yahya pushed his anger aside, taking a deep breath. His hands reached for your arm, pulling you into him. His palm cradled your head, guiding you to lie against his chest. He kissed your temple, speaking words of encouragement.

“That’s just god's way of making room for the real ones to come into your life, mama. You’re going to be alright, love. You’ll shake back from this. You’re strong, girl. The right man is out there. He’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

As he held you, speaking enlightenment into you. Something shifted inside you. Not quite sure what the feeling was, you shook it off.

“More tequila,” you offered.

The pair of you went shot for shot. It only took a short time for you both to get drunk off your asses. In a drunken stupor, you both laughed as you recounted the numerous times you had to fake a climax with your ex. Yahya was in tears, holding his stomach, laughing uncontrollably.

“This man had to be talked through eating the box. Every. Single. Time. At what point do you finally get the gist of eating pussy? I can’t believe I stayed as long as I did.”

“Why did you stay?”

“The dick was big.”

A hand flew to your mouth, covering your lips, shocked at what you had just revealed.

“Sorry. That was probably too much information. I need to stop drinking,” you slurred, no longer able to look him in the eyes.

Yahya cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Not too much. That’s some pretty useful information,” he rasped.

Your breath hitched as you looked into his chocolate orbs.

“I don’t follow.”

“That’s what you like, mama?”

Yahya’s hand trailed to your neck. His fingers circled your throat, giving a light squeeze. You knew you should pull away, but your mind and body said two different things.

“Yahya,” you whispered.

“Answer me, mama. That’s what you like?”

You moaned, nodding your head yes. Yahya licked his lips at your response. 

“I want to hear you say it, love. Tell me what you like. I want to make sure you understand what I’m trying to say,” he groaned.

The liquor urged you to take it further. You leaned closer, his hand still squeezing your throat. Lips only inches apart, Yahya watched in awe as you answered, breath tickling his lips.

“I love a big, long, thick di-.”

Before you could finish the sentence, Yahya groaned and devoured your lips. Not giving it a second thought, he slid you on top of his lap as your tongues battled for dominance. Hand still placed around your neck, you ground against his lap, loving the groan he released. 

“I can see why that was useful information now,” you purred.

It was evident, even inside his jeans, you could feel that he was massively large. You pulled back, slipping your shirt off, dropping it to the floor. His eyes sparkled at the sight of your breast as he cupped them, kissing and suckling your neck.

“Are you sure this is what you want, mama?”

“Yes, I want you, Yah'. Fuck the pain away, please.”

Kissing your lips again, he held you close as he raised from the sofa. Arms wrapped around his neck. You tasted each other's lips as Yahya carried you to the bedroom. The following morning wasn’t even awkward. That’s probably because you woke up with Yahya’s head between your thighs. A serious discussion occurred over breakfast. Though you both decided it probably shouldn’t happen again, time would reveal that it was too late to turn back.

I know I left it on yet another cliffhanger, but that's my specialty😆. I got my lovelies, though. The fic is complete, so slide on over to part two. Before you go, leave a comment and tap the love button. Reblogs are greatly appreciated🫶🏾!

Gif Credit: @abdulmateens, thanks again for allowing me to use it for my mood board💗.

Divider Credit: @firefly-graphics.

Tagging a few lovelies:

@sheabuttahwrites , @moebuttta , @darqchilddaydreamz

@alertyoulikeitsamber , @astoldbychae , @miyuhpapayuh

@sunshine-flower , @nightlywords7 , @4everbrookemarie

@delta7of96 , @novaniskye , @1andonlytashae

@shaolyninferno , @mcdesij , @willadean

@partygetsmewetter-x , @blackerthings , @peachbuttetfly

@theraieinfluence , @honestpreference , @queeniekiy

@tashawar , @skyesthebomb , @captainwithoutmakingitlove