#‹ I need to make a post specifically about why I found this as such an absolute WIN in so many aspects btw

[beleester]

Maybe it's changed since 3.5e when I played, but in 3.5e a wand of Cure Light Wounds is just insanely efficient compared to any other healing item - an average of 275 HP for 750 gold, with the only drawback being that it's not very efficient in combat. You can afford it at a pretty low level, and it has enough juice to refill the whole party's HP multiple times over. It's not the biggest game breaker, but it changes the game enough that it's reasonable for a GM to say "I don't want to deal with this, I want the party to be able to handle about 4 level-appropriate encounters per day like it says in the book."

As for the rest of your post, I don't think the goal is simply "let the players keep exploring as long as possible." Because if that's all you care about, then why are you worried about the 15-minute adventuring day? Just let them long rest anywhere, and go into every fight with full health and spell slots. What's the problem, since they're staying in the dungeon?

But if that's not all you care about - if you want to preserve the game's assumption that players won't blow their whole wad of spells every fight and then take a nap afterwards - then you do in fact need to introduce some sort of "grim endurance gauntlet" component. Something that either rewards pushing through multiple encounters between rests, or penalizes resting too often. You can't have resource management gameplay if the players can refill their resources to full for free at any time.

I like the Angry GM's system because it puts all the risk in the players' hands, and retreating doesn't cost anything concrete, just progress. You don't need to invent an arbitrary time limit or try to pressure the players into "playing fair" by not taking too many rests, just let them proceed at their own pace and risk as much as they think is safe. If they choose to leave and come back, they've still got the treasure they found on this trip and the knowledge of the area they explored, so they're not losing everything, it's just a logistical hassle that you wouldn't want to go through if the party is still mostly fresh.

So if you want to encourage them to keep going deeper, you give them the resources to do that. You let them have healing items. You set up places that can be made safe for long resting in the dungeon. You reward the choice of picking up, say, the Alarm spell or Leomund’s Tiny Hut, or a character who thought to bring string for tripwires and ball bearings for traps. If they brought the tools to stay there, let them stay there. Let them use them. And actually go out of your way to give them to them. Let them find a scroll of Leomund’s Tiny Hut. Let them find a goblin camp’s stash of pots and pans to set up an alarm system. Make small out of the way rooms with only one entrance that they can barricade to make a safe space to long rest. Let them find friendly factions that they can safely stay with for a night.

All of these things are different from "let the party take a long rest at any time." If you can only rest in certain safe rooms, or only when the GM gives you a limited-use item, or if you have to puzzle out how to build a secure camp in a dangerous area, then you're still enforcing resource management gameplay - the players have to decide if it's worth using the scroll, backtracking to the safe room or allied camp, getting woken up when a wandering monster trips their Alarm spell in the middle of the night, and so on.

I specifically said in my first post that intermittent or resource-based healing like this is fine in a dungeon. It's when players can refill their resources for free (or for nothing but time) that it starts to get tricky.

I’m watching a (3hr) discussion on megadungeons as a concept for modern d20 games on a youtube channel called Knights of Last Call, and I’m enjoying it a lot, because it does explore a couple of points that I’ve been very much looking for. Namely, the idea that megadungeons should be there to enable and reward exploration. Which means, among other things, there can’t be a time-pressure meta plot (you have to get to the bottom of the dungeon to stop the lich before he destroys the world), and that the game/DM needs to explicitly reward (with xp, magic items, etc) the act of exploration, not the act of killing things while exploring.

Because the thing I always found enchanting about the idea of massive dungeons and complexes was the idea of going in to see what’s down there. Not being forced in for a plot, but just … because I’m curious, and I want to see what’s there. And he discusses how modern d20 games like Pathfinder and 5e can actually be better for that than OSR-type games because characters are more powerful and sturdy and can survive doing that. You can explore, and (most likely) have a decent shot of surviving said exploration. You can take risks because you’ll survive a broader range of risks.

The thing with a megadungeon is that it’s there to be explored, and so to encourage, enable and reward exploration for people who want to play that kind of game in the first place, you have to a) not penalise taking risks and going exploring by making it instantly lethal to try and go anywhere, and b) actively reward going exploring by making it the main way your character gets more cool things, such as magic items and/or new abilities from levelling up.

(And, he’s less explicit about this, but also making the rewards self-contained to the dungeon, things you find and gain in the dungeon, and not things you’d have to bring outside the dungeon to benefit from. So cool items you can keep and use, experience to level up, knowledge that would allow you to access new areas, etc, not things like gold where you’d have to go back outside to spend it, or quests that you have to go to external parties to be rewarded for).

The discussion goes into some detail about potential ways to do this, and potential problems with various methods, but overall I just really like the tone of the discussion. Because that very much is a thing I’ve been looking for for a long, long time. A game that rewards the simple desire to go somewhere and see what’s there. I don’t want to explore a massive underground complex because there’s a bad guy down there and I need to stop him, I want to explore it because there’s rumours that there’s a vast underground sea down there where creatures that haven’t been seen in aeons are rumoured to still live (blame reading Journey to the Centre of the Earth as a kid), or to discover why there’s a massive dungeon down there and learn who built it, or just because it’s a big strange space and I just want to see what it looks like.

He does talk about how you make dungeons interesting enough to justify that, things like thematically-distinct areas (like the underground lake, or the weird sunless forest, or the ghoul town, etc) so that it’s not one endless slog of ‘10ft wide corridors and stone rooms’, and to make it interconnected so that the players have full choice of where they go and what risks they want to take (enabling them to skip ahead difficulty levels, or retreat if need be, or escape areas that they’re not enjoying). And to possibly put in some distinct … not end goals, but capstone events, like a boss monster very deep down, that might feel like an ‘ending’ if the party wants to ‘finish’ the dungeon. Not something that will ‘burst out and destroy the world’, but something contained to the dungeon that a party could triumph over if they want a ‘final challenge’ sort of feeling. But one that’s optional, a challenge they can take up if they want to, not a prerequisite for getting out of the dungeon or completing a large goal, but just a challenge that exists if they want to take it on.

Because, and I do agree, a lot of the problem with exploring in D&D is not necessarily that there’s no mechanical support for it, in terms of things like skills, etc, but because there’s no reward for it, and in terms of structured adventures, there’s often either narrative or mechanical punishment for it (running out of time on the baddie, or running into something too lethal for your party to handle with no option to nope out). A megadungeon as a concept is a cool environment where exploration is the whole point, and the only point, and if you take care not to put an external pressure on it (‘kill the lich or else’), then then party has time to poke around and decide what they want to see and what risks they want to take (or nope out of). Especially in something so big that there’s no real chance of finishing it, so there’s no ‘100% completion’ pressure, just a big buffet of options for people to pick and choose from.  

(There are so many things in 5e that would be excellent for an exploration game, especially in terms of spells and magic items, but because combat is so much the driving force of the standard mode of play, people are reluctant to ‘waste’ spells known/prepared and/or items attuned on things like Alarm or Water Walk or Purify Food & Drink or non-combat items like Candles of the Deep or Foldable Boats or Slippers of Spider Climbing when those slots could be used for combat spells/items instead. But if exploration gets you XP, and if you can nope out of combat as required because there’s no massive stakes/story riding on it, then you’ve got more room for these things).

There’s also an in-depth discussion on ‘game balance’ and CR, and why megadungeons might not necessarily require them, for the simple fact that everything in the dungeon is optional and not required to forward the story/plot, so you can try challenges way above your level if you’re feeling frisky that day, and just nope out and go a different way if it starts really not working for you. Which I feel is a fun point.

There is a point that this is a specific mode of play and not meant to be the point of the game in general. It’s specifically for people (like me) who want exploration as its own point and reward, without needing a quest or storyline attached, and for whom combat is an element/hazard/complication but not the point. But. If you are specifically doing a MEGADUNGEON, it’s an interesting look at things to consider and what people might want out of a massive self-contained dungeon that’s going to be the whole point of the campaign in and of itself.  

Where he loses me is when the discussion moves to how to prevent the '15 Minute Adventuring Day', where people go in, do a room or two, and then go back out to rest and heal and resupply, instead of staying in the dungeon to keep exploring. And for some reason allowing healing is bad for this? If you want them to stay in the dungeon, how is it bad to let them heal in the dungeon? Set up factions to trade with and potential base camp locations in the dungeon to let them heal and resupply and set up safe areas so that they can stay in there potentially infinitely? Though it’s possible that I missed something about his point there.

But yeah. I love the idea of megadungeons, vast areas to explore just because they’re there, and I love the idea of game modes with all the cool abilities and spells and powers of D&D BUT where the thing that’s rewarded is exploration and interacting with the environment rather than combat.

(There’s also … I think this also reminds me of the story arc vs episodic discussion regarding TV, where I genuinely like episodic series equally to story-line driven ones, and I think that in games it also works, where there’s a BIG SETTING and the point is to go out and have episodic adventures in it. A loose sandbox like a megadungeon where there’s no plot, you’re just exploring and seeing what you encounter day to day (and possibly developing plots as you interact with individual areas/factions and then connect them to other ones) is also an excellent way to play a game).

Anyway. Forgive the sidebar ramble.

[doonalli]

The Point of Alice's Death in 3-1 (Mini-Analysis)

Gonna start trying a new thing where unlike my other analyses where instead of making a long post about specific characters i make shorter ones about particular scenes in the chapter.

So while it may not be as long I still hope I'm able to make you appreciate the chapter a little more bit by bit regardless With that said I want to talk about a specific (controversial?) moment, being the Yabusames death in 3-1

I'll be focusing particularly on Alice because I'm an Alice router lmao, but I'd love if any Reko'ers were able to add their own input too!! So a common criticism of the Yabusame's death is that it "comes from nowhere". Not in the sense that Ranmaru killing them came from nowhere (I've explain already why that's just not true in my Ranmaru analysis) but in the sense that it makes no sense why they specifically were targeted rather than anyone else.

At first glace it seems like it has nothing to do with their arcs at all and the easiest answer is to just say "they just so happened to be there" but this is a story and Nankidai could have chosen anyone to be there. Yet it was them specifically, so why is that? Disregarding the fact that it couldn't be anyone else REALLY for plot reasons, (Qtaro already being dead, Keiji being trapped, Gin being needed for the Banquet and Sou because it's likely he'll be necessary for 3-2) because that doesn't feel like a real answer to me, and because I feel like there is more to it than just that. One important note to call attention to is that Alice dies exactly in the same spot as Hinako did. Obviously, this already draws a connection as Alice was the one who doomed Hinako in the first place by leaving early and "betraying" her in the First Trial.

But this also leads into what in my eyes is the most important aspect of this death, which is the fact that Alice never found out that he killed Hinako in this route. Now that may seem like a point against this death, as it kills Alice before this moment in his arc, which should be important, but stay with me for a second. One of the major points of Alice's arc is the way his character asks the question of if your even better of knowing in the first place. This is shown in one of the first major changes in his route where he actually ends up using Safalin's machine where Reko didn't

Gin tells him that it doesn't seem right what he did while Safalin affirms that she still believes her machine is one way to achieve happiness.

In particular she says "If all you have is burdens, that isn't life..."

And it's this question that seems to loom over Alice over his arc for the next chapters.

Later Alice is face to face with Midori, someone who is responsible for ruining his life, right after finding out he didn't really kill him at all, and earlier in a similar situation he acted very aggressive towards Gashu

and you'd expect him to be way more mad because he has more reason to fight with Midori. Yet when he fights...

Alice is awfully calm, something he even notices himself, and it just goes to show the change between the before and after of his choice.

Even Reko, when faced with the same choice, was fully ready to fight.

And this leads Sara to question something important

So why am I even bringing this up? Well, it's because Alice's death brings up the most extreme form of this question. When he dies here, he dies not knowing he killed Hinako, but he DOES know he didn't really kill Midori

At this point Alice is in a state where he is fully oblivious to the murder he committed, thinking that he didn't kill anyone. In a way you could call this Alice's happiest state, dying not as a "real murderer", but as an "innocent person".

But is that really a happy ending? He IS dead after all; sure he isn't a murderer anymore but still. And that's what I think his death wants to ask; Is that happiness a good thing?

Maybe once 3-2 drops we'll be able to actually get an answer to the question in Kanna's route but for now it's interesting that the possibility could even happen in the first place, and I think that will make whatever the answer is end up being, hit all the harder knowing that this was a real possibility.

But another part to death in YTTD is the effect it has on the people alive, and Alice's death does this too.

After the death Sara will think about who Alice was and what he meant as a person (and Reko too, maybe even more for her)

And their death is what finally pushes Sara to swear not to be who Midori says she is.

This scene genuinely means something to everyone in the cast, it shows Sou refusing his emotions, Gin and Sara's relationship and calling attention to his sin, showing us that YTTD won't just write him off as a kid and respects his agency in the situation, and a major moment for all the dummies (which I've talked about in each of their respective analyses).

On a more sentimental level the Yabusame's were also the ones who consistently helped Ranmaru with accepting his humanity and self-confidence, so by having him kill them specifically it shows how Ranmaru ignores those words they said representing how he denies his humanity.

And most importantly it leads us to a very important scene from Q-taro where he talks about how we are all carrying sin.

And who better as a backdrop for this moment then Alice Yabusame. Someone who spent so much of his life burdened by his sin and being unable to forgive himself for it. Reko fits in a way too with her past actions and her regretting not forgiving/believing in Alice when she had the chance. Thematically it just makes sense for them to be there, just to really hit home the message Q-taro presents.

So ultimately, I think it just makes sense for the Yabusames to have been the ones who died there and that it isn't indicative of "bad" or "lazy" writing but instead actually really well done and clever in the way it adds to their arcs while also acting as a good full stop to it too.

Through how it brings together many other characters to add a note into quite literally everyone who is present's arc, and through how it completes Alice's arc in a truly poetic way, I think not only is it not a bad choice to kill them there but actually one of the best examples of YTTD using one of its most unique strengths in its split routes for its character writing.

And I hope I was able to express just why I think that is here.

================================================================================================ AFTERWORD: So yeah, I think there is more to Yabusame's death than it can seem at first and maybe I've helped you see that too or maybe you think there is something more to add or you just think I'm insane and there isn't actually anything to it idk lol

I also understand that some people like the Yabusames and are simply mad that the route they chose ended up killing them for something they felt was out of their control, but at the end of the day this is a story and characters dying is a part of it, you can feel saddened by their death, its expected even, a death SHOULD affect you in that way, but I hope you can see how this death is so much more than that and the way its masterfully woven into the themes of their characters.

It's pretty common to see criticism of this death as "pointless" or "just for shock value" and it saddens me because there is far more to it and to Alice and Reko as characters then that and so I wanted to write this in an effort to show off just how much thought is put into them even in CH3 when it's possible they aren't even there. either way I hope you enjoyed reading this mini analysis and that I got you to think about it even a little bit more!!! See you next time for a bigger analysis more akin to what you'd usually see here.

[lifenconcepts]

HEY, Angel !!

Would you care as to describe your experience? I think not enough hear on just how varied and interesting we are, and it would be great to scroll through reblogs of a single post and be able to find those with similar experiences/feelings.

feel free to write whatever but if you would like some prompts:

Have you noticed the world seem more beautiful/peaceful since you’ve found yourself?

How do you feel about gender? Or having a name? Or attraction as a whole? Is it tied to more mortal instincts, or do you still have some essence of it?

How do you feel like you physically look? Do you have any preferences in form? Would you change the way you are perceived if you could - and into what?

How does your day get affected due to your mystical self?

Do you incorporate this sense of self in your hobbies / behaviours?

What does being an Angel or being of divine/holy nature mean to you? Do you consider yourself born here, a newly created angel, or one which has been around for a long time? Do you have any thoughts as to why you were assigned human at birth?

How much sense of “human”ness do you feel, and do you see yourself as equal to humans, something more, or like a watcher of life around you?

Do you feel like you have some higher purpose and reasoning of being here? A meaning of life, if you will call it that.

Do you have any religious connotations tied to your identity?

How did you come to realise who you were, and what signs did you exhibit prior to knowing this?

Do you have any other ‘uncommon’ bits of self apart from being a being of light, in a way? (Therian, otherkin, interests in specific things, neurodivergencies?) YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THIS IF YOU DONT WANT TO!!

What’s your favourite thing about the bodily experience of being on earth? Is there any sensation you really like? (Taste, smell, touch, feeling, etc)

Would you prefer to be in another dimension? Do your senses feel dulled?

What’s your stance on mortality and topics tied to that? Do you believe in reincarnation/past lives/fate/destiny/divine intervention/guardian angels/ghosts/heaven & hell/god/meaning of life?

Would you enjoy if others treated you as some highly being and brought you offerings/treated you like a god/submit to you/worked for you?

What’s your stance on the community?

How do you interpret existence - how does it all seem to feel and what do you take away from it, like.. what do you live for? Do you have a sense of some ideal where the more you experience the higher you will achieve? Do you crave something out of life?

Do you have a ‘gut instinct/feeling’ and has it ever been scarily accurate to the point there could be no other possible explanation other than something holy?

Do you believe you are blessed and/or protected by some invisible force?

Where do you believe angels also show themselves? Are they in those stray rays of light of headlights, do they exist in the bite marks of a wounded animal’s form, is it within the ripples of the water, in the breath of the tree that takes in the wine, in the chill upon a high mountain - or is divinity everywhere?

Do you fear people don’t understand you well enough? Don’t understand us? Have you ever felt like doing something about it?

do you feel bored from these questions already - did you enjoy it- would you like more? Did I give you satisfaction? I find joy through writing, it makes me personally feel incredibly divine, and there’s a calling to know more about other individuals in this mystical and extensive world.. we need to stick together - as a whole. Love eachother. Treat yourselves well, too. Do more of what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. There’s so much complexities to life, but we just gotta handle it all with our own minds - but treat your heart and soul with so much kindness and care.. please- take care of yourself. Find whatever works for you and live forever, my friend. My eternal, immortal friend..

[torrentialchaos]

i’m going to make one final ramble about her for now and then I’m probably not gonna talk about this topic much anymore.

First off I’ve already explained the whole posting my drawing without my permission situation, but I wanna go over why it makes me mad. There are two specific reasons:

1 - She criticized me for using the older variation of her character. This drawing was made back in November back when she didn’t have that other version and even so I probably would’ve still drawn the other version because the newer one sucks.

2 - She mislabeled one of the people in the drawing. She said that Promni was in the drawing when I can confirm she is not. The character that is all the way on the right is supposed to be Nickytoons, not Promni. I know they look nothing alike so I think this is just Rhylie trying to act like they’re still friends even though at this point Promni wasn’t here.

Not to mention, I am pretty much convinced that Rhylie lives in this fantasy world where she believes that we live in Hazbin Hotel and that everybody can be redeemed no matter what. Girl I’m telling you right now if Charlie found you, she would probably not let you into the hotel because you probably are way too unredeemable at this point. You need to get a life and stop mocking us. I honestly don’t even believe that you are 21 like you say you are because a 21 year-old would not be acting like a stupid person who tells people to kill themselves because they can’t handle people exposing them for the truth.

I know you won’t see this because you decided to block me so you can’t deal with my bull crap anymore but I’m sure mysterybook will let you know that I am very pissed.

@promprom2007 @pamithebunterfly2007 @9mysterybook6

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

I've had this drafted forever and I'm not entirely sure why I didn't post it. Oh well, better late than never!

MAL DU PAYS (the song) fun facts:

(Like the original post, spoilers for Act 5 ((and also 2hats)))

- Originally, after finishing the game, I wanted to write a song about Loop. They're one of my favorite parts of the game and I really loved their character, but I ended up scrapping that idea very early on, as I couldn’t really find a personal tie to anchor the song to me. While I did want to write a song about the game, I didn’t want to write something that didn’t resonate with me and my musical “mythos” in some way. It's a fan song, but it's also a Starving Narcissist song, and I felt it was important to strike that balance. MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) only got released because I felt that it was something that fit into the larger body of my works even without the context of the game. So in the end, I chose to write about Siffrin, as I found them a lot more personally relatable. The final version, lyrically, is almost like I’m using Siffrin as a vehicle to write about my own feelings. Some lyrics are his, some are mine, a few are both of us, it’s a weird sort of style I’ve never really written in before.

I do have some leftover lyrics from the scrapped Loop version, though!

“There’s a you you’ll never be, across the cosmic sea / Who has everything you wanted, now it’s everything you need; is it over yet?”

- I think originally the song had a lot more of an exhausted vibe, but with most of the stuff I write, the tempo usually gets faster the more I play it. At some point in the writing process the song channeled more of a manic energy than I had originally intended it to. Loud and shouty is kinda just my default lol.

(The first ever demo for the song, recorded September 15, 2024. Features some slightly altered lyrics!)

- The title was also subject to change! I think for a while I was going back and forth on just calling it Homesickness, mostly because I was a little nervous that my song’s name was technically a late game spoiler. Half the reason I wanted to even write the song was because I thought MAL DU PAYS would make a great song title though, so in the end I just sucked it up and went with my gut. The alternate title was also not set in stone, I think originally I was considering just calling it Mania or Paranoia, but I thought those would be a bit generic. Eventually, I settled on Monophobia, because I felt it was apt in describing the song as a whole. I write a lot about loneliness, and Siffrin is afraid of being alone, so it felt fitting to name the song after the fear of it. (And also, a bit more superficially, I thought Monophobia made a better song title.)

- The song is the only Starving Narcissist song on a nylon string guitar, and it's also the second song in a completely non-standard tuning (third if you count ITWYW?, but that's just a half step down from standard). MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) in DADF#BD, with a capo on 1.

- THIS SONG HAD SO MANY REVISIONS. I don't think I've ever had this many versions to a song ever. It got so bad that I made a specific folder just to hold all the different variations I had for the song. They're not all too different from each other, and they're all built on the same take of the song, but I was playing around with mixing and structuring and vocal layering and its a whole mess. Honestly, the fact that it's a song about a timeloop makes it probably the funniest song this could have happened to.

- And that's about it! To end off this little fun fact post, here's a little something I wrote for Genius (where lyrics for this song and all my others are posted! plus annotations I write! <3) about the song. The response to MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) has been pretty wild, and I'm glad it managed to resonate with people, even some who don't even know the game it's about.

That's all. While I guarantee this year will probably be slower for Starving Narcissist, rest assured that I am working on stuff, just very slowly. There's a very low chance I'll ever do something as flagrantly self indulgent as this song, but whatever I do end up doing, I hope you're around to see it.

In the meantime, stream the song on spotify! or buy it on bandcamp! or even just go watch the lyric video i made for it (please i spent like a week on this)!

Thanks for everything, see you later <333

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars And Time! tldr; i wrote a song about it. if you wanna skip all the gushing and just listen to it, click here. (spoilers for act 5) If not, behold this big rambly mess of a thing i wrote:

So funny story, I kind of wasn’t planning on releasing anything for the rest of the year. The album wore me out, and the only other idea I had sort of fell through, so I was content on just letting the album be the only thing of note I would make in 2024.

… and then, in September, I played a little RPG called In Stars And Time. beat the whole thing over the course of three days, then spent the next couple weeks ravenously consuming all the fan content I could get my hands on. my friends have been forced to stare at my siffrin pfp every day for two months straight at this point and frankly i think they are tired of me talking about it.

i love the art, i love the story, i love the music, i love the characters, i love the world. siffrin sort of immediately became one of my favorite protagonists like,, ever. and it definitely did not help that i am also a scrawny forgetful person who has to regularly fight off the part of my brain that convinces myself that All My Friends Secretly Hate Me.

I’ve never really been so called out by a character before. The spiraling, the deflection, and the agony of being a stranger to yourself. the yearning for something you cant even name, because how could you? you cant even find the words on your tongue. not being able to tell anyone how you feel because its just easier to live with it, easier to let it eat you from the inside out then to bother anybody else. its easier to keep the mask on, stick to your lines, let the show go on.

all that hit just a bit too close to home. so i did what I usually do When Things Hit and wrote about it.

(like i said, spoilers for Act 5; It’s pretty devoid of context but they’re spoilers nonetheless)

MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) is a song about cyclical burnout, self-estrangement, and homesickness. It’s half about Siffrin, half about me, but mostly it’s a rumination on loneliness and the hell that is the self.

Out now wherever you listen to music.

“How can you be homesick if nowhere is home?"

[chotachica]

I wasnt the only one who immediately thought and accepted too absurdly fast that Riri had just fucking killed that stalker girl right

[sentiniel]

hbomb's blast of james somerton really makes me think back to other older youtubers who have been doing their good work, performing critical research and analyses into niche fields who then had their work plagiarized from their videos and henceforth wanted to stop making content.

yeah and also they got pushback from the internet saying the degree of plagiarism they'd experienced is a made up problem.

this is a sideways post.

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[feech]

Thanks for this. I really appreciate. I do want to say that had I not found your post I was going to make my own post about this moment BECAUSE it hit me so hard as a white person. But this was an all black show for a reason and I'm trying to amplify black voices as best I can. I am NOT staying silent right now. im am doing everything I can right now to listen and learn and then spread that information (specifically to a few family members). It's not that i don't think it's my place or that I don't have anything to contribute. It's that I KNOW that black people have a deeper understanding of this than I do and they dont need to hear my thoughts. My dad on the other hand who said he was "not bothered one way or the other" absolutely does need to hear my take though because quite frankly he should be bothered. It should upset him and his humanity to look at and think about where all the symbolism in this performance comes from and what it means.

The internet does not need my take in this particular conversation because there are millions of people with lived experience that can and will say it better. The white people in my life who don't understand? Those are the people that i need to talk to because they're not even aware that they're doing it but they aren't ready to hear these things from black people yet. Its my job right now to make sure that they are examining why that is. Its my job right now to listen to black people and help spread their words and to help protect them from the people who aren't willing to learn.

this part of kendricks halftime show has been on my mind violently since i saw it.

the street lights, chalk outline dead bodies (red clearly symbolizing bloods, blue crips, which is only more proven by Serena doing the Crip Walk wearing all blue), and the only ones left alive and dancing are the ones in white (who clearly represent white people)

and the way theyre in a circle on the upper left hand of the rectangle makes it look like the betsy ross flag

kendrick lamar the man you are

[tuxedo-rabbit]

On the one hand, playing as my HoF in Veilguard has improved the story by giving me a good strong backstory to RP from. The themes of Talia's story theoretically tie in nicely with the themes in Veilguard, and it feels like a nice chance to wrap up her story.

On the other hand, it's hard not to make comparisons.

Talia had deep, meaningful friendships with almost all of the companions in Origins. Some of these were the sort of friendships where you instantly click, some of them required her to get to know the companion over time. But she had strong feelings about all of them.

In Veilguard.....it started out strong! She wasn't immediately attached to anyone, but she had common ground with a lot of them. But then it doesn't get to go anywhere because as Rook, you don't ever really get to...understand them?

And I'm trying to figure out where that feeling comes from because Veilguard has so many cutscenes for companions! It might be that the approval system has been toned down from previous games? The Origin companions had scenes where they questioned Talia's decisions. They had things that they hated and they weren't afraid to tell you about them. The warden had the opportunity to argue their point as well.

The Veilguard companions....don't really have strong opinions on anything? Or if they do, they won't debate them with you. They'll debate them with each other, sometimes. You get some sort of group debates during Solas's Regrets, and those are great, but they're so limited in scope. I can count on one hand the amount of times, across two playthroughs, where I earned disapproval from a companion.

We mostly learn about the companions through banter, and boy is there a lot of it! But this isn't an open world game, so no matter if you 100% Veilguard, you probably won't reach the end of the banters for even your favorite party combination. So all that character development through banters goes to waste.

I like the companions in Veilguard! I do! I just never feel like I progress my understanding of them as people past act 1. They don't surprise me. And because of that, it feels difficult to develop any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise, with them.

[suffarustuffaru]

arc 8 ottosuba and mutually assured destruction (devotion)

basically i wanna talk about this again but more Specifically bc they are gonna fuck each other over so fucking bad. like this is the most disastrous combo of all time. you got natsuki subaru who has rbd AND a suicide pill in his fucking mouth that he can use at any time AND he will die as many times as it takes to save Anyone he cares about. and then you pair him with otto suwen, aka a devoted little freak whos willing to let entire countries and millions of people, including people subaru cares about, die to save subaru. and otto has died for subaru twice now and will gladly do so again on top of that. they are the absolute worst combo of all time bc natsuki "ill save you no matter how many times i die" subaru and otto "i would let anyone and anything die to save you" suwen are inevitably going to come into conflict. otto wont let subaru die at any cost but subaru having rbd means that hes gonna win no matter what. hes gonna get what he wants. hes gonna die and theres nothing otto can do to stop it. and even if otto does stop subaru, its a lose lose bc either subaru dies and uses the info he got to beat otto next time, or subaru and otto end up having more fights with each other anyway, or otto does end up stopping subaru in some way (example: otto wanting louis to die) and subaru gets pissed at him over it, or all the otto permadeath flags end up being real and otto dies permanently and subarus gonna be destroyed and i bet ottos still gonna be like "i told you we shouldve left vollachia when we had the chance" on his literal deathbed bc him permadying proves his literal point this whole arc. and subaru can save otto all he wants but if otto ever figures out this hurts subaru in any way ottos never going to get over it. hes gonna be upset and pissed forever. there is no winning with these two. their devotion is violent and theyve literally found their match in each other. bc their devotion strips the other person of their own free will and choice in the manner bc they keep saying "no. i have to save you no matter what, even if you get upset at what im doing and even if i do all of this behind your back without ever telling you." and if they keep being stubborn theyre just gonna end up dragging each other down - which is the exact opposite of their goals to save each other. they are likely going to kill each other by the end of this, metaphorically or not. and its going to be because of love. do you understand. how do you save someone who wants to save you first. how do you save someone whos devoted themselves to you, body and soul, in the most violent way possible.

also if otto manages to read the tome once its restored... he's gonna figure out rbd.

[evansbby]

not me going through the steve rogers x reader tag and i find a post that’s like “pov you find a fic with amazing smut but it has daddy kink 👎” LMFAOOOO

i wonder if anyone’s read my fics and just immediately exited out as soon as they see the word “daddy” bc it’s in like EVERY SINGLE ONE of my fics 😂😂

[pixelkip]

Send help I got hyperfixate d on a fuckicng . Obscure music program (if u can call it that) from like 1996(? I think?? At least the version of it im trying to find)called Pixound bc I was exploring Flashpoint again and thought it was interesting. and I wanted to get the win95 editor program thingy for it and,,. It's like totally lost afaik. I can't find it on the internet archive or anything and I've just about internet researched myself into exhaustion I am so goddamn sad about some random program I just learned about today I want it so so so bad and I don't know shit from fuck about looking for lost media so aauuugghhhhh

[sheeezu]

Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.

I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.

Yes. I've shifted.

I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.

I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.

Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:

I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.

So? Why did I mention this?

Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:

"Shifting needs practice!"

Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.

Though, is the phrase actually true?

No, not at all.

Shifting does not need practice!!

Here's why:

(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)

The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)

Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)

Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.

Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.

I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:

My journey:

I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.

A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.

First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.

Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.

Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.

Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)

I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.

I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.

Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.

A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.

The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.

LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.

And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.

Background to my first shift:

It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.

I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.

The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.

But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:

"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."

Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.

I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.

And with a blank mind I thought.

"I won't have to take any test today."

And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.

The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.

So the test got cancelled.

Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.

I decided to apply this to shifting.

Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)

And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.

My method and what happened next:

First phase of shifting:

When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)

I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:

a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.

b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.

c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)

During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.

And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)

So you can start the next phase.

Middle phase (optional):

To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)

This is all about connection to your DR.

Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:

My name is ___.

I work as a ___.

My age is ___.

Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.

(That's you!)

Phase three:

Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.

a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)

OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)

b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.

❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.

Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)

Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.

(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)

c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)

Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.

And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.

Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?

So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.

And I remember I thought this:

"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."

(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)

And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)

I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.

I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.

So that's it.

Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.

And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.

Ask away.

I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.

[defiant-firefly]

(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)

There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?

Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.

My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao

[the-somwthing]

oh god I reached tag limit. Dear god. Should I make my own post or are my takes in the tags god awful and I should’ve kept them to myself 😭

(also I mistakenly said clethubs instead of cledubs cuz it flows better, ignore me Etho has nothing to do with any of this)

ok now that im watching scotts pov i can finally make the poll i want