#why is there a whole service revolving around an orange with a bunch of cocktail sticks in it???

[defiant-firefly]

(I've had my chatty medicines so you get a post about this)

There is something distinctly and uniquely alienating and bizarre about hearing people say 'Easter Sunday is the most religious day of the year'. Like, when was this?? If it's so religious and so so so important, how come no one thought to tell me it was religious until like four or five years ago?

Yeah it's kinda funny but I'm also sat there every time like "what the fuck are you talking about". The assumption I was raised Christian and am Christian via culture is really funny though cause like. Bro I have no fucking clue what any of this stuff is about.

My parents never taught me the majority of this shit. Anyone else assumed I already knew about it. This Easter talk I've been hearing about a weird amount more than normal is all new to me and making me think of all this shit lmao

[abiteofnat]

RIVER NORTH HAS EATEN ME ALIVE

And I love being absolutely devoured by it. As of one week ago, I became a River North Rat (as I’ve dubbed anyone who chooses to live in the middle of it all-literally) and Eric and I moved into what feels like Cinderella’s castle. There might be some questionable carpeting, and the floor to ceiling windows offer literally zero privacy (which we found out after moving in four days before blinds were installed), but compared to some of the past apartments I’ve lived in across the city, this place is as good as it gets in my eyes. I feel beyond grateful every time I open my eyes and see the Hancock Center peeking out behind other buildings, and to say goodnight to it each night as I close my eyes fills my heart with as much Chicago pride as a full Wrigley Field singing “Go Cubs Go.” To live in the city, really IN IT, with the person I love... it’s unreal. 

BUT ENOUGH OF THIS MUSH! Be gone, tender feelings and adult realizations! Let’s discuss the best part of living in the center of the city- THE FOOD. It’s everywhere! It’s endless! It’s overwhelming and wonderful and is no longer limited by public transit or Ubers! I have never experienced this level of accessibility while living in the city and truthfully, it’s like being on vacation every single day. You know when you wake up on vacation and roll out of the hotel in search of coffee and a pastry, and stumble into somewhere really cute and full of people even though it’s 9AM on a Saturday, and then let that surge of caffeine take your feet wherever they want to wander because why the fuck not? That’s what living in River North is like. Weekends full of breakfast at Stan’s Donuts (the location tucked away in the back half of Labriola, of course) and strolls down Michigan Ave have become the normal, and even though Eric and I mutter “I HATE PEOPLE” every three blocks because no one knows how to walk we’re too full of joy to even express it properly. Stan’s has become our #1, and boy do I love their strawberry glazed donuts and an iced americano to start the day. If you’re there this summer, they’ve introduced the Le Stan, a cronut worthy of applause and every penny each $4.99 cronut costs you. It’s the ideal amount of flakiness, chewiness and sweetness- the sugar on the outside gives it that beautiful zing pure sugar tends to give, while the orange cream on the inside is a bit more rich and just takes over your tongue. It’s delectable and I'll likely go eat one more before the weekend is over! 

The first night we moved in, we went to Parlor Pizza- a Chicago favorite. With locations in the West Loop and now River North, Parlor is a patio heaven with excellent cocktails and interesting pizzas big enough share, but also thin enough to consume individually. After spending the entire day moving and putting things in trucks and taking them out of trucks and then man-handling furniture in an attempt to build it properly, we were ready for some serious carbs. We got lost on the three-block walk over to Parlor Pizza in River North and then sat down at the massive bar, already packed with the evening’s well-dressed booze hounds, ordered margaritas and then took in how fucking dope it was that this place was now our neighborhood pizza joint. Parlor is massive, boasting a rustic, yet modern interior splashed with neon signs and leather seats, and the patio has big picnic-style bar tables that are situated under perfectly strung fairy lights and vintage-looking umbrellas. Their margaritas? Fabulous. Their rose sangria? INCREDIBLE. The pizza? I think the most interesting thing about moving downtown is that you have the freedom to return to these spots on a more regular basis, which forgives the feeling of, “I don’t know when I'll be back at this restaurant so I should order the same thing I’ve ordered before because I know it’s good.” The first few times I went to Parlor I ordered the Save the Last Ranch, topped with perfectly sized bits of broccoli and truffle ranch. It’s flavorful and filling and feels like you’re eating a whole lot of veggies- but this time, I got something different, because there was the safety net of, “if it’s bad, it’s right around the corner and we can always go back!” Enter the create your own pie with sauce, ricotta cheese and truffle oil. So simple, absolutely drool-worthy. 

We also admittedly tried the Wahlbugers- a restaurant I knew nothing about, but that Eric was absolutely dying to try. Turns out it’s decorated like Shake Shack but with more photos of Mark, and offers sit-down service for some very well-done bar food. The Impossible burger sounded pretty good and done up like an In-N-Out burger, with crisp lettuce, tomato and a special sauce, and even though I didn’t like the Impossible burger the first time I tried it I was really curious to try their take on it (and I was starving). My issues with the Impossible burger are long and complex and I will write a separate post about it, because I think a lot of vegetarians agree with my views. BUT, at Wahlburgers it was cooked just right and dripping some damn tasty seasoning, and had a buttery, juicy bun and crispy sweet tater tots on the side. Plus, caramelized onions on a burger FO FREE? YES, GIVE ME ALL THE ONIONS.  

Additionally- big news- they have Mexican Coke on the menu!!! 10x better than regular Coke. I want to see the science behind that. Maybe it’s simply because... it uses real sugar and not a bunch of fake shit? Who knows! 

Last up is The Smith. While The Smith is super tasty in DC, the Chicago one is a tad disappointing. The restaurant has the right vibe to be a money pit in the River North area- tons of seating, great bar space and feels a tiny bit like a place Hemingway would get some chicken and potatoes. It’s got that vibe that yells, “WE TRIED TO MAKE IT LOOK OLD SCHOOL IN HERE,” without doing it in a tacky way. The burrata is good, the bread is fine, the booze came from a can and was good. The mac & cheese was strange, because it looks like a gooey pot of heaven, but is actually pretty waxy and lacking flavor. I have no clue what type of cheese they butcher and burn around the edges to get all bubbly, which is yummy looking, but it’s not working taste-wise. However, the noodles were good and a dash of pepper never hurts, so I ate a good amount of it. Would I go back? Perhaps. Is it overpriced but will stay open forever due to workplace happy hours and tourist family dinners? Absolutely. May need to go back to do some further snooping.

Overall, it’s been a busy week here and my life revolves around donuts and carbs, and avoiding being hit by one million cars every day. Truly my paradise, this crazy city.

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie