#•°. *࿐ Tifa

[flipomatic]

Arm's Length

Summary: Aerith had learned to keep people at arm’s length. All it took was a little deflection here, a question turned around like barbs instead of answered there, an engulfing smile or sometimes a pout stretched coyly across her face. She learned that if she acted as they expected, then they would accept her.

Though Aerith felt safe, she was also so often alone. There was one person though, someone who Aerith had only known for a few months, who she felt could see right through her.

Aerith glanced up at the window where that one person had waved from earlier, but Tifa was gone.

Word Count: 2,000

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Aerith glanced down at the high ankles of her boots, which dangled back and forth beneath her. The gap below extended far past the reach of her limbs, all the way down to the dusty dirt paths that led through town. Gravity kept water moving through the pipes, from the water tower to the surrounding buildings and then back to the ground, with a force as unstoppable as souls returning to the planet. If Aerith were to gently kick one of her boots off it would succumb, perhaps beaning an unsuspecting black cloak over the head in the process.

The thought brought the hint of a chuckle to her lips, but no she wouldn’t do that. Instead, her eyes tracked a distinct spattering of spiky blonde hair emerging from the house across that distant path. Cloud staggered slightly when the sun hit his gaze, right foot faltering as he turned towards the inn.

When he stumbled again, this time bumping roughly into a pedestrian, Aerith’s hand tightened against the edge of the scaffold. His behavior had been worrying for a while and had been even more troubling lately. Especially in Gongaga, though Aerith hadn’t seen it Tifa told her later what had happened. Even knowing that the Weapon hadn’t meant any harm didn’t stop her from remembering the chilling wash of fear and panic as she had searched the mako desperately for any sign of life. Learning that Cloud had knocked her in, put Tifa in immense danger, only made the feeling worse.

When he reached the inn, vanishing inside without so much as a glance back, Aerith released a sigh. It had felt strange to sit up here with him, to be together where so many of his childhood memories had been formed. It must’ve been nice to have a normal childhood, she thought, with friends who actually liked you.

That was a sour thought, bitter in the back of her throat as Aerith swallowed it back. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any friends as a child, but even as a young girl her heritage had hung like a hammer over her head. When they found out, or even if they didn’t, things would always change for the worse. When they decided she was rude, or angry, or introspective, or as so many unkind kids had put it, creepy, they always turned away.

Aerith had learned to keep people at arm’s length. All it took was a little deflection here, a question turned around like barbs instead of answered there, an engulfing smile or sometimes a pout stretched coyly across her face. She learned that if she acted as they expected, then they would accept her.

Though Aerith felt safe, she was also so often alone. There was one person though, someone who Aerith had only known for a few months, who she felt could see right through her.

Aerith glanced up at the window where that one person had waved from earlier, but Tifa was gone.

Her eyes were next drawn down to the entranceway of the house. On the right side, near where the mailbox was, she found Tifa. The other woman leaned against one of the pillars that supported the second floor, eyes closed with her head tilted back against it.

Perhaps it was time to go see her. Aerith carefully gathered her feet beneath herself before standing up, brushing any loose dirt from the back of her dress. The breeze rustled her braid as she descended slowly from the platform one rung at a time.

Once she reached the bottom of the ladder, her destination was only a few steps away. Tifa hadn’t moved from before, not so much as an inch. From this distance Aerith could see that she almost looked relaxed if not for the familiar clench of anxiety in her fingers.

Tifa’s eyes fluttered open when Aerith approached, a hint of red visible within them even in the shaded light. Her hair was mussed slightly as she rightened herself from the post, lips lifting in a warm smile.

“Enjoying your tour?”

Aerith tucked her arms behind her back and nodded as she responded. “The water tower made for a great look out point.”

“I bet.” Tifa broke eye contact to glance up at the tower. “You can see everything from there.”

“Pretty much!”

When Tifa’s gaze came back to meet her own, her expression had shifted into a more pensive one. “Well, not quite everything. I know you saw through the window but…” She faltered in her words and turned her eyes down towards her hands, which came together to fidget. Tifa’s tone was soft, almost uncertain. “This is where I grew up, well, it used to be. Would you like to see it?”

Aerith’s heart panged in her chest. “Of course, if you want to show me.” She stepped forward and placed her hand gently on Tifa’s joined ones. “Lead the way.”

Tifa nodded once, mouth setting in a resolute line, before turning to do just that. Aerith trailed behind her through the front door of what used to be her home.

They passed through the downstairs areas one at a time, dodging around men in black cloaks throughout the first level of the building.

Tifa told her a story about how she used to train with her dad in the living room, but one time he deflected her kick straight through the wall and that was the end of that. She pointed out where the damage would’ve been in the old house, though this new one showed no sign of it. Tifa ran her hand over that spot on the wall, closing her eyes for a moment before pulling back.

“He sounds like a wonderful dad.” Aerith said, trying to keep the melancholy out of her tone. She hadn’t realized it until long after breaking out of Shinra, but she had never known her father or even a real father figure. It didn’t bother her too much, but in times like these she couldn’t help but think about it.

“Yeah, he was.” Tifa looked over at her with a hint of emotion in her eyes, head tilted slightly. Then, inexplicably, she smiled broadly. “I’m sure he would’ve loved you, you know. He looked after everyone; he was always kind like that.”

Aerith inhaled sharply, the response being an unexpected one. It cut straight through her thoughts, directly to her concerns and worries. This time when Aerith’s heart throbbed, it was a warmer feeling. It took a few moments for her to gather herself for a soft reply.

“Like father like daughter.”

This drew a hint of pink to Tifa’s cheeks, as well as a shake of her head. “Those are big shoes to fill.”

“I believe in you.” Aerith said strongly, her voice steady and firm. She believed every word.

Tifa’s reply came low under her breath, her face already turned away from Aerith. “Thank you.”

The two continued their trip through the house until they reached the upstairs. There were only two rooms up there, one of which Tifa pointed out as her dad’s room.

“And this one is mine.” Tifa didn’t hesitate as she pulled open the door, allowing both of them to enter.

The room itself was small and looked about the same from the inside as it had from the view on the water tower. There was a cabinet, a bed, and a piano all occupying space within the room.

Tifa went over to linger by the piano, while Aerith moved to look out the window. She could imagine past her sitting out on that platform, staring down at the abyss beneath her feet. She was on the second floor here as well, but with an entire building below her.

Aerith sat down on the side of the bed, longing again for a childhood home like this one with a childhood friend right next door. How was it that Cloud was lucky enough to know Tifa his whole life, but Aerith didn’t get to meet her until a few months ago?

“A gil for your thoughts?” Tifa’s voice came chipper and inquisitive from right in front of her.

Aerith looked up at her, covering up her surprise by lifting one finger to her chin. “For anyone else they’re not for sale. But for you, hmm…” Tifa’s eyes glimmered with emotion, concern or worry perhaps, as she waited for Aerith to finish her response. She must’ve been watching her think for a while.

They had come here into Tifa’s house to dig up her old memories, haunting and sad and terrible memories, but she wanted to know what Aerith was thinking about? If it was anyone else Aerith would’ve thought they were prying, or perhaps stalling or deflecting, but not Tifa. No, Tifa asked because she cared.

Lately, in what felt like a completely incomprehensible way, Tifa had pushed past the invisible boundaries Aerith erected around herself. This was just another moment, one of hundreds or thousands or more. In the gaze of Tifa’s kindness and care, there was nowhere for Aerith to hide. And, for perhaps the first time, she didn’t want to.

“Free.” Aerith declared with a smirk.

Tifa let out a half chuckle, gaze softening a little. “Tell me then, please.”

Aerith followed Tifa with her gaze as she sat down to her left, their knees almost touching. She took a deep breath, warm from just how close Tifa was. “I was thinking about this town. It feels odd to be where you and Cloud grew up. I never had that kind of childhood.”

Tifa moved one hand to cover Aerith’s in her lap when she paused, a silent gesture of support.

Aerith kept talking. “I always wished for a childhood friend, someone who would understand the real me. Even after escaping Shinra it was hard, being here just reminds me of that.”

“I see.” Tifa replied quietly, voice barely audible. Her face was close too, their foreheads only inches apart.

“But I’ve also been thinking that we only have so much time ahead of us, I can’t just dwell on the past.” Aerith continued, smiling softly as she spoke. “I need to appreciate the friends I’ve made, who see me for who I am. Especially you, Tifa. Ever since we met, my life has changed for the better.” Aerith finished without hesitation. “You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.” Maybe there was more to add to that once Aerith had more time to work through her feelings. For now, this was enough.

“Aerith….” Tifa’s slow inhale, so close yet still too far away, sent a tremor down her spine. “And you’re mine. You brighten every day and inspire me to push on despite the odds. No matter what happens, I’ll always be there for you.”

“Thank you.” Aerith blinked away the start of a few tears, unable to stop one from escaping. Tifa’s hand released hers and rose gently to brush that tear away. “Thank you…” She repeated, voice trailing away this time.

The touch of Tifa’s finger lingered against Aerith’s cheek for a heartbeat longer as silence took over the room, quiet but safe and warm.

Aerith leaned her head against Tifa’s shoulder for what she told herself would only be a few minutes. The warmth of an arm around her back followed, pulling Aerith even closer. The two sat together in this small room, on the second floor of a rebuilt house, in what should’ve been a destroyed town, enjoying the kindness of each other’s warmth.

What did Aerith do to deserve her? She didn’t know, but she prayed to the planet, to the lifestream, to any being out there that would listen for this relationship to last. She hoped against all odds that the cruelty of her fate would leave well enough alone and not tear the two apart, that the inevitability of gravity wouldn’t send them tumbling to their doom.

She prayed to be able to spend another day at Tifa’s side.

[dragoncantus]

Man, I've been watchign streamers playthough ffvii remake lately after all the rebirth news. And like, I still notice or learn or realize new things every time. Or just think about things another way or a deeper way.

I've long since held that the members of team avalanche that we know are interesting. The two that join our party in the long run (Barret and Tifa) we learn throughout the og game that they're motivations are (or at least started) selfishly. And in remake we learn that Jessie's is similar in that vein. They all have a personal grudge against Shinra that led them to seek out Avalanche.

I was thinking about that again as I'm watching them board the train for the Mako 5 reactor job and watching all of Tifa's reactions and sighs about how much she hates it. And it suddenly hit me. (incredible obvious in hindsight). Her's might be purely driven by her hatred for Shinra. Sure saving the planet is a nice side effect, but Tifa wants to hurt Shinra. And for her, hurting Shinra shouldn't also be hurting anyone else. She's a kind and caring person.

While Barret's motivations started wtih his personal grudge against Shinra I definitely think that he at least believes that it's about saving the planet now. He's convinced himself. Jessie actively wants to stop the mako reactors to save her dad (whether just his essence or actually him). Saving the planet is the way to save her dad. But Tifa's here to stand against Shinra specifically. And standing against Shinra shouldn't hurt the innocent bystanders.(I wish we knew why Biggs and Wedge joined. Maybe they're team planet first but we do know biggs was probably an orphan so that could be smth.)

She grapples with this concept because it's not about the bigger picture of saving the planet. It's not about the ends justify the means. Its about putting a stop to someone who ruined your life so they cant ruin anyone else's. (or the less noble sounding version of that also known as revenge.)

Again, all incrediby obvious in the long run. It just suddenly jumped out at me in this round of watching and I was like "that's what's so hard for her, compared to everyone else." She's not quite on the same page or wavelength, even though ultimately their goals are the same.

And that's smth really cool remake did, I think. And makes me more excited to dive into more backstory in rebirth.

[kuhatoarchive]

tifa is, romantically speaking, emotionally unavailable for a significant portion of her life (teens-early twenties). i’ll elaborate on it below, discussing issues of gender roles, objectification, idealization, and intimacy with it. 

    nibelheim is a place that upholds “old traditions”, and this includes gender roles. there’s the belief that a woman’s happiness depends on the man she will spend her life with, and tifa, as the sole girl of her generation, grows extremely anxious over the notion; if divorce is frowned upon and considered a personal failure, then she ought to choose wisely— which turns into not choosing at all, both in her time at nibelheim and midgar (but we’ll get there in a bit). clearly, this puts a dent on her ability to make sentimental decisions of this nature.

    in small villages, kids have a limited pool of contemporaries to choose from, so it’s almost an unspoken agreement that they should all hang out with each other. tifa plays into this, of course. however, as they all start growing, she starts to notice that she’s not only being approached for being their age, but also for what she could possibly represent: a girlfriend, a wife. tifa is notoriously uninterested in any advances, but, in the spirit of not forsaking the only bonds she has (and can have) in town, she learns to fake obliviousness or gently turn down advances. by this point in time, she becomes familiar with the value and subsequent idealization placed on her. i also think that her own father’s overprotectiveness (out of love, yes, but still a little overwhelming) post thea lockhart’s death informs tifa of the ways men can be kind of... possessive, and she sees that too in other nibelheim marriages. why wouldn’t she be intimidated?

    traces of two pasts* mentions: “[Tifa] disliked whenever [adults] brought up how her body looked so grown. There would be someone who sensed her discomfort or resentment, and would try to change the subject, but then it would turn into whom she should be with and things of that nature.” two things to note here, which are frustrations that will further estrange her from romance: 1) her aversion to her body being a point of conversation, which only worsens as her body matures even further and makes it hard to believe her appearance isn’t solely why she’s pursued (hello objectification); 2) just how sick she grows from romantic relationships being such a focus of conversations her way, which, while not ill-intentioned, still make her feel confined. these conversations’ timing coincide with her self-improving via zangan’s training, when her focus is solely on herself and what she’s good at doing/wants to do in the future.

   so, ironically, the incessant talk about partnership only drives her away further from the idea, and she certainly gets scrutinized for it as she grows older: “tifa is at that age, she’s pretty/kind/polite, she can cook/clean/tend to ppl/etc, why doesn’t she have a partner?” i think these sentiments are especially prevalent when she lives in midgar. it’s worth noting that she only gets the tools to deconstruct the gender roles she was raised with while living in the city (though obviously midgar upholds some of them too, but regardless, the diversity of backgrounds helps to broaden her vision), but, by then, pursuing or even looking for a romantic interest is… not even on her list (what with running 7th heaven and helping AVALANCHE). she most certainly gets a bit of fame from rejecting all advances her way, especially at the bar, but she can’t help it; she’s so used to being idealized that she’s almost convinced her pursuer will change their mind once they know her better and realize she’s not just those good traits— her insecurities, her traumas, her depression, her temper (which is notably less meek and more volatile than people tend to acknowledge lmao, especially as a teen).

    evidently, her teens-early twenties are marked by being pursued the same way one seeks a prize, and in response, she becomes averse to it. this all results in tifa… not experiencing any sort of romantic emotional/physical intimacy when reaching adulthood, and it makes the prospect of doing so all the more intimidating. add to that the dizzying journey she’s thrust into during the main game and, well, there’s no time and nor does she have the headspace to establish a relationship; it can only happen post main game. 

* even if the writing is more remake-oriented, there are some entries in "Traces of Two Pasts: Episode Tifa" that i'm going to reference in my main verse (most worldbuilding-related), since there’s enough wiggle room on the more unexplored parts of tifa’s past in nibelheim (and nibelheim altogether). i’m making a post highlighting these specific points soon enough!

[coruscantide]

tags 2

✰.⠀⠀namine ﹕ghost wishes on the crests of waves. ✰.⠀⠀namine ﹕in character. ✰.⠀⠀namine ﹕headcanon. ✰.⠀⠀namine ﹕study of the heart. ✰.⠀⠀roxas ﹕hallowed light of a mirrored sunset. ✰.⠀⠀roxas ﹕in character. ✰.⠀⠀roxas ﹕headcanon. ✰.⠀⠀roxas ﹕study of the heart. ✰.⠀⠀xion ﹕threadbare whispers of unspoken resolve. ✰.⠀⠀xion ﹕in character. ✰.⠀⠀xion ﹕headcanon. ✰.⠀⠀xion ﹕study of the heart. ✰.⠀⠀tifa ﹕heaven's light finally clenched in gloved fists. ✰.⠀⠀tifa ﹕in character. ✰.⠀⠀tifa ﹕headcanon. ✰.⠀⠀tifa ﹕study of the heart. ✰.⠀⠀zack ﹕everyone’s hero from the best of the rest. ✰.⠀⠀zack ﹕in character. ✰.⠀⠀zack ﹕headcanon. ✰.⠀⠀zack ﹕study of the heart.

[oubaitorisouls]

now that I can come back here and do this, time for another tag dump!

•°. *࿐ Tifa ; to be added to as I think of more tags for her!

[dutchdread]

“She is is envious of the bond Cloud has with Tifa”

Genuine question here because I see a lot of CloTi discourse talk about how Aerith is envious of Cloud and Tifa’s bond, but is this ever mentioned officially or explained? I can’t find one single inference or implication that she is, only that one could argue via subjective interpretation that she maybe wants to try to learn Cloud for who he is and not who he reminds her of.

Arguably, one could say that this interpretation is inherently describing an envy, but I’m looking at it from the perspective of Aerith wanting to learn who Cloud is in an effort to like him for him and not Zack.

(Full disclosure: I’m actually a huge CloTi, but I’ve been out of the fandom for a decade+, and I’ve been reading a lot of discussions on the LTD, and while my personal opinion is that CloTi is more or less canonical at this point, the nuance that they’ve developed with Aerith that just wasn’t there in OG is interesting/perplexing to me because I don’t have a full scope of info. And I like it when things are proven by the devs. It’s possible that there’s information I’m missing or have missed, but otherwise what I have consumed doesn’t seem to indicate she’s envious of Cloud/Tifa’s relationship specifically.)

The idea that Aerith is envious of Cloud and Tifas bond became a thing mostly after Rebirth. Before that it was also put forth at times when someone did a character study of Aerith and the evidence back then was mostly just that it fit and made sense. In essence it was an amateur diagnosis. We saw in Remake that Aerith had unresolved issues concerning her childhood during the Eligor scene, that combined with what we learned about her childhood in TotP made it so that a lot of her outgoing "life affirming" behavior made a lot of sense if she was, in essence, trying to catch up for lost time. She's enthusiastically, perhaps even desperately, trying to have the same experiences everyone else has, to have a normal life. This is also congruent with other parts of the story, like her seeing Zack in Cloud. If Cloud reminds her of Zack, and she had a bond with Zack, then watching Cloud and Tifa express that same young love that she once felt would naturally lead to her wishing she had that. After all, we've known for a long time that Aerith still isn't over Zack, so her being slightly envious of that is natural. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You can be happy someone has something and because of that have a positive longing to experience something similar. But where this was really made explicit is in Rebirth, where there are multiple scenes that hint or outright state that Aerith wishes she had something like what Cloud and Tifa have. The main two being the Kalm "date" and the watertower discussion. In Kalm Aerith takes Cloud on a date as a pretense to talk about the prior night, and almost the first thing she does is mention Cloud and Tifas friendship and mention that she'd have given anything to have a friend when she was growing up. As soon as she thinks of their bond her first thought is to link it to her own desires.

She continues by saying to not take Tifa for granted. Since this is something Aerith lacked she thinks it's important, and the idea of it being sullied or undermined instinctively bothers her. She wants them to value it as much as she would value such a thing. This is not her living vicariously through Cloud and Tifa or anything, but just a small nuance that paints the picture of a girl who yearns for these bonds herself enough that she is hyper aware of them with other people. All this is then stated explicitly on the water tower, where Aerith states: "Must be nice..."

She generally willfully daydreams about how nice Nibelheim is. It all paints the same picture, a girl without a childhood who never got to experience the things that Cloud and Tifa had and lost, but wishes that she did. This is a huge part of her character and establishes the background needed to understand stuff like "no promises to keep". Some people are upset that NPTK is not a love song from Aerith to Cloud, but a deeper look into Aerith shows why it would be weird for it to be one. Because Aeriths journey isn't about romance, it isn't even just about Cloud. It's about her experiencing and developing the bonds that she felt she was denied for so long. The song is "even about Tifa and Barret" because it's about all the precious bonds she made on her journey. It's one of the things that makes Clotis version of Aerith superior to the Clerith version, because we give her so many more layers.

[cburambles]

My favs bits of 7R! Elena is how they subtly hint at how calculated she is and that her cunning side could be almost as equal as compilation!Rufus in her group & how also the group dynamic often foils her.

Her first scene has her pondering about their orders & what is actually going on.

Elena reitere that point on Mt Corel as well.

In their situation, you need to be clear & share as much intel to your subordinates so they can understand the nature of this mission which Tseng doesn't (if he even knows). & we know Rufus knows the black robes might lead to Sephiroth, which could caught the Turks out of guard & potentially lead them to their death (see what happens to Tseng in the temple).

The scene also immediately establish that Elena thinks they shouldn't follow orders blindly tho it seems she's still willing to do what she thinks Tseng would do in some situations due to her idolization of him.

During her boss fight in the mines, Elena only uses stun grenades

But during the next cinematic, a vicious smile start to appear on her face as she switches her grenade to an explosive one.

It's the only time it happens during the game & the explosion is strong enough to blow off the cliff they were standing on. She was ready to decimate the party there by taking them by surprise. if it wasn't for Red parrying the grenade. It's a good plan that get foiled by the fact Elena isn't aware of Rufus' plans of letting Cloud & Avalanche walk away to find the Promised Land & kill Sephiroth & her lack of awareness towards the way Tseng feels about Aerith.

Next we get GS & Under-saucer chapter. During this, we learn that Cloud, Tifa & Barret are now officially wanted. Dyne then appear in the GS & kill some of Palmer's men.

Elena is seemingly the one who is sent to track him down & likely found his location with the help of Gus' intel (who likely hidden from her that he had captured Tifa & sent Cloud to run in the race so he can get his money)

But instead of capturing the culprit, Elena restrained Dyne & waited for Barret & the rest of Avalanche to show up since she & Rude sent up ambush them with a whole motorized brigade & Palmer's mech,

Elena probably put that plan in place likely in the hopes to make herself look good in front of her superiors by not only capturing Dyne but Avalanche as well. And she's willing to go as far as to jump from a crashing helicopter on a moving buggy to accomplish that goal.

But once again as in the next scene, we see Reeve change the wanted posters portraits under the eyes of Tseng and we discover Rufus decided to let Aerith walk away in the hopes that she will go find the Promised Land while remaining under Shinra surveillance via Cait Sith. Goes to show that once again, her plans diverge from her superiors because she lacks the necessary infos.

As a proof of that, In chapter 12, she state she took the initiative to study what the Promised land is & compliment the whole plan with Aerith

The way she approves about the plan is interesting as well. She talks about it with a lot of enthusiasm, which goes to show that she may be naturally inclined to delve into that type of manoeuvers & calculations. The only character in their group that has been clearly depicted as being the same type until now is Rufus.

Then there's the temple of the ancients. When they discover Avalanche is on the way, Elena immediately bring the idea of ambushing them which is actually smart: They still have troops at their disposition & the advantage to know the terrain better than Avalanche by that point.If they don't take them out now, they might end up in trouble later. (Which is what happened since Reno & Rude end up being outnumbered by monsters & Tseng understimated how ready Elena was to throw down to show herself off, which result in Tseng getting wounded & Elena having to do a sacrificial stand so he can accomplish the mission)

& this is her reaction when Tseng refuses.

Reno, who seemingly had a similar idea as Elena & likely couldn't wait to have a revenge match react as well, which goes to show that it would have been the right course to take but Tseng as his own agenda as he wants to protect Aerith by avoiding her.

Elena can be brash & vicious but it's interesting to note that through the whole game, the devs keep showing us constantly the gears turning in her head & her independance & how some of the mistakes & "bad" decisions she makes could be avoided if her superiors weren't so secretive about things.

It makes me wonder if it might be a set-up for the events of Wutaï, knowing the Turks were there in OG & that there's now this new plot with Glenn's Avalanche cell & Sarruf/Rufus.

With the way they are hiding informations, it's really likely she & maybe even Rude & Reno as well are not aware about Rufus' role in all of this & I wonder if Elena inquisitve & calculated side could have an impact on it & maybe potentially lead him to share his secrets but also connect with his Turks, with the way they emphasize that he is lonely & isolated, which make it easier for Sephiroth to manipulate him. In OG timeline, it always felt to me that the Turks loyalty to Rufus was emotionnally not worked enough & un-earned post- Meteorfall (in particular knowing that the text emphasize who they are in a way a group of friends in all but name because they're seemingly afraid to get rid of that company hierarchy they've always known) so hopefully they are put in the works in 7R.

[chronosh0t]

Spiral of Chronos came to an end today. Weirdly enough —or maybe not— I am quite sad. I became overly attached to this patch for obvious reasons, needless to say.

There was not a single thing I disliked about it. Even the different game modes were absolutely enjoyable and never got bored. But leaving that aside, what made me so attached to it, was of course, because Lee was finally the main character.

I am Lee biased, yes, no need to clarify that. As I am also a Gray Raven team by heart, but Lee had been quite neglected for quite a long time. The two girls got new frames, their own chapter and character development as well, while this boy was in a corner since the game saw the light. And don't get me wrong, I loved seeing the girls as the main characters as well, their stories were absolutely amazing, sad, but with a happy ending —considering the situation, of course, lol— however, after more than two years, Lee finally got his new frame, took the spotlight and didn't disappoint.

Spiral of Chronos was a roller-coaster of emotions. Every single detail was placed at the perfect time, thoughts and emotions were described perfectly. Because boy, he does have a lot of the latter. How he endured so many things and shouldered them all alone, ever since Tifa, he had left traces for other "selves", fought so many battles against third parties but also against himself for endless possibilities. He studied, he learned, he failed, he succeeded, all that while keeping his cool, while remaining the same Lee we knew. He kept so many secrets just because he didn't want to risk anyone, risk not a single chance of winning against fate.

—only to be scolded later for not relying on us a bit more lol—

I adored seeing him taking the lead. And I will definitely gonna miss him on the log in screen.

[strayheartless]

a nsfw situation i can read basically any person's interpretation on over and over again and never be bored is sephiroth's first time!!! especially in ags, like if he's topping who's bottoming for him and who's coaching? if he's bottoming who's topping and who's holding him and keeping him safe? i think it's a good entry point for nsfw because you can do a loooooottt of character study and just throw in some smutty parts. like is it all fluff or are seph and gen still playfighting the entire time? is angeal mediating or is he too busy working as the top or the bottom to focus right? do they even go all the way or is seph going to be too overwhelmed and finish before the "main event"?

sorry if that's not specific enough haahaha, but starting smut can be intimidating and sometimes just dipping your toes into sharing the thoughts is the best way to start! and at the end of the day I am but a mere sane!sephi being a bottom truther 😌

oki doki! I've gotten over the fear with the first ask, so I'm gonna try answering some more. I am once again shocked by how fast people jumped into my asks for this one lol.

okay Sephs first time with AG. (why didnt I do this one first its so much less scary than Aerith and Tifa!):

*warnings for suggested non-con of someone underage. there will be no detail (ever) but its implied. please be careful*

the first thing that Angeal and Genesis have to seriously concider when approaching the topic of sex with Seph is that he is all at once, completely new to it and knows about it in disturbingly clinical detail. They don't really want to know why, and they can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to tell them either.

Sephiroth has been a symbol all his life and the issue with that is that at a certain point in his teen years it became strangely acceptable for people of all gender expressions to fawn over him in ways that make him uncomfortable. People seem to always speak and act without thinking without considering him and its upsetting.

Meeting Angeal and Genesis however is different. mostly because the first time he met angeal the other boy just wanted to get the job done and be friends. nothing more nothing less. He'll admit to being a little infatuated with Angeal from the word go but 'Geal had said he was in "a commited relationship" and Sephiroth had taken him at his word.

To bad he had a crush on Angeals "committed relationship" the second he layed eyes on Genesis. why? well because Genesis was beautiful and also trying to activly kill him at the time.... you know that scene from Princess Mononke? the one with the knife and the ill timed realisations of beauty? yeah thats Sephiroth meeting Genesis.

As time goes on and their relationship changes the topic of sex starts to come up more and more, much to Seph ire. he doesn't want to talk about it but they always seem to circle back to it. Usually at Genesis' behest. usually at Angeals allowence. its how they find out he's a virgin in the first place.

And nothing is done about that for a VERY long time. At least not until Sephiroth wants something more.

The night that he asks them to be his first time they look at eachother and agree they will never hurt him this way. it is the only promise they made that they did not later brake. they NEVER used sex as a way to upset him. not ever. instead they run him a bath, and clean him up. Genesis brushes his hair while Angeal massages his calfs and he relaxes into it.

When he's slightly boneless they take turns kissing him and helping him discover what feels good. They go slow, and when it doesn't feel good they stop and try something else. Its a lot but he finally decides a list of things.

He likes being in Angeals arms a lot.

he likes it when Gena kisses up his thighs and teases his cock.

he likes having Angeals fingers inside of him

His chest is sensitive and after a while its not fun anymore, but he likes a little bit.

He loves letting Genesis ride him.

But he loves letting Angeal fuck him slow and gentle like he's worth everything.

he doesnt like pain play

he does like sensory deprevation play

he adores being praised but he stuggles to accept it

he goes into subspace a little too easily.

being on his knees for Either Gen or 'Geal is intimidating every time but he is eager when they guide him through it.

having something in his mouth calms him down. it can be his partners cocks of their fingers.

he doesn't like being restrained

but he does like being fucked while either man laces their fingers with his.

his favorite pet names include 'pretty baby', 'my heart' and 'sweet boy'

he likes calling Angeal 'sir'

being hand fed puts him in subspace

he has a thing about cock warming (as in he loves it) both with his mouth and his body.

and the last and perhaps most devistating detail is that he is so irrevicably in love with these men. They won't just be his first. they will be his only. And on nights when he stands on the edge of creation and lets himself stray a little from his mothers voice, a fantom ache will start deep within his soul. An ache to be laid out on Angeals bed as he is slowly taken apart on his side, angeal behind, Genesis in front... all of them in love.

aimed for smut, made it sad.... oh well.

[frozen-fountain]

Get to know the fanfic writer

Thank you once again to @late-to-the-fandom for the tag. In turn I tag: @visualheresy, @laboradorescence, @oceangirl24, @bees-and-sunshine, @0nelittlebirdtoldme, and @hrh-spinach.

When did you post your first-ever fanfic?

All the way back in 2005.

First Character(s) you wrote?

That's for me to know and most of you to hopefully never find out.

Main Character(s) you're currently writing?

I'm alternating between Shadow (FFVI) and Cloud and Tifa (alternating viewpoints).

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan to soon?

Well, he's been the secondary character enough times now that I really need to give Reeve his spotlight some time. Cloud's viewpoint also requires giving Zack and Sephiroth more of a voice than they've directly had in this project so far. And then my next longer project puts me in Setzer's head which... joy. But I think I've at least written a few lines for just about everyone in these ensembles at this point.

Fandom(s) you're currently writing?

Final Fantasies VII and VI.

Platonic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Shadow and Baram, though ngl the relationship on the page has turned more ambiguous than I had in mind at the outset. Let's throw Shadow and Relm's not-relationship in there, too. More broadly I'm also getting into Cloud and Tifa's ways of interfacing with a whole village of faces old and new; it's been fun characterising them through different reactions to the same person.

Romantic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Cloud/Tifa (messy), and I suppose Shadow/Relm's inevitably unnamed mother (barely romantic at all).

Your top AO3 tags?

Character Study, Post-Canon, and Romance.

Current platform you use for posting?

AO3, and Tumblr and Reddit for attempts at promotion.

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

Ooh, I really liked this part even though it's still unpolished:

“Ain't no ord'nary train on its tracks.” The fire outlines him in gold as he says it, makes darker the dark hole where another eye used to be. He cackles with his eyes on the woods as the train passes by, its lights making prison bars from the shadows of the trees. “That just gone by's the Phantom Train, on its way to the next life after this one.”

You scoff as the clack of metal on metal fades into the night and take another swig of your liquor. Some paint stripper stolen and not missed from a falling-down bar outside of Zozo. The woodsmoke-scented air is warm as tobacco and silent, now that the search has been called off. “Stories for kids and old folks,” you mutter.

He shakes his head, lifts his bottle. Pauses with his hand on the neck and no closer to his lips. “Not this one. And it was you and me put a few more faces in those carriages, you bet your ass.”

“You say so, buddy.”

He smirks, a red and sinister thing in the firelight. “Oh yeah? Then you tell me, Mr. Scholar,” and he nodded towards the tangled briar behind you, “where it gone and went, if it ain't passed outta this plane altogether.”

You turn your head and there is nothing. Only unbroken inky black and the hoot of an owl rustling in the treetops. A shiver racks your body as the forest slides back into place, as though nothing had ever passed this way at all. Shrugging it off, you drain your bottle. “The woods is dark. Awful lotta things can get lost in there.” A grin, and you toe the bounty by your feet with the flapping, ragged toe of your boot. “Worked out real swell for us.”

You pulled it off. The garrison abandoned you to the night some hours ago, their torches guttered and the strong arms of the law returned to their homes and leaving the darkness for the crickets. Another train passed out of sight a little lighter than it embarked, and you'd both be eating good when you made it to the next town. A day or two, no word of the hooded figures that held a driver at knifepoint, and no-one would ask questions with the right amount of gil dropped onto their counter.

He cackles and sits back, the joints of his elbows cracking as the wear and tear of the dash through the bracken sets in. “Think what you want.”

You humour him with a smile. “How'd those dear departed souls get the afterlife way back when, then? 'Fore trains was running? Answer me that.”

“Well, you know folk. Tale gets a little update every couple hundred years. Way back when it was a long road you gotta walk on, I guess. Little later comes a carriage with a pale rider to take you to the next world. Chocobos with fuckin' death rattles comin' outta they beaks. Go down south where it's marshland and they'll tell you to watch for the pass of the will-o'-the-wisp, 'cause that's the light that guides the ferryman and his dead cargo. Fella told me they got a big steamboat these days. You can see the ghosts hangin' off the sides and wavin' their ghost kercheifs when the moon is -”

“Shut the fuck up.” Another of his stories – always the biggest brute in the bar whose head he bashed in, or the tart with the biggest tits throwing herself in his way.

“I'm tellin' ya.” He chuckles then and raises his half-empty bottle to the sky. “Here's to progress!”

[crisiscutie]

Characters

I mostly write about Sephiroth and the different versions of him, but I can write for the other characters on this list too, case-by-case. 

Sephiroth (THE Crisis Cutie) I typically write C.C. Sephiroth (Pre-Nibelheim and Nibelheim Incident), OG Sephiroth (and Jenova!Sephiroth), 7R Sephiroth, Dissidia Sephiroth, EC Sephiroth, AC Sephiroth, and KH Sephiroth. That’s a lot of Sephiroths I know. They will be considered as separate characters in requests. Please note that different Sephiroths in requests are acceptable, so don’t be afraid to ask! 

C.C. Sephiroth (Pre-Nibelheim Sane/Fluffy) or 7R Sephiroth (Insane/Yandere) are often my defaults if there isn’t any Sephy specified in requests/prompts. Check the Masterlists for other Sephiroth-centered AUs.

Sephthoughts - a collection of random shitposts thoughts about Sephiroth

Sephology 101 - A basic course offered by Shinra University, focusing on the study of Sephiroth. (Academia AU and Analysis of everything about Sephiroth)

Fluffy Sephiroth tag for Pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth related stuff. 

Darlings FAQ for newcomers or those who might be confused. 

Aerith Gainsborough (THE Miracle Cutie)

Zack Fair

Angeal Hewley

Genesis Rhapsodos

Cloud Strife

Vincent Valentine

Tifa Lockhart

Rufus Shinra

Remnants of Sephiroth (Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo)

Other FF Characters (non FF7) will be written for occasionally and typically within the Dissidia AU, case-by-case.

If you are willing and able, I would greatly appreciate any donations on Ko-fi.  

[namixart]

Never Bloom

Read on AO3!

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud had always known that relationships weren’t really going to be in the cards for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the time, or the inclination—although, for most of his life, that had also been true. Rather, he’d come to recognise that what he wanted in a relationship didn’t really match what everyone else seemed to want. In hindsight, the realisation had been a long time coming.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Cloud had always known that relationships weren’t really going to be in the cards for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the time, or the inclination—although, for most of his life, that had also been true. Rather, he’d come to recognise that what he wanted in a relationship didn’t really match what everyone else seemed to want. In hindsight, the realisation had been a long time coming.

---

When Cloud was thirteen, his mother sat him down in her tidy and brightly lit kitchen for a Talk. He grimaced when she said it: she’d made it into an important word, as if she’d capitalised it in speaking. He knew what the Talk was, mainly from movies about awkward teenagers and first loves. He didn’t like those movies much—it just seemed like the characters were all worrying and making themselves stupid over nothing. Cloud didn’t care about first loves and capital-T-Talks: he wanted to become a SOLDIER, and that was much cooler.

He had never thought that the Talk would ever actually happen in real life. He grimaced the entire time.

“Mooom,” he groaned at one point, interrupting her even-voiced ramble about protection. “I don’t care. Can we not?”

She sighed. “I know it’s awkward. But it’s stuff you need to know, so you’re ready when you—”

“But I don’t want to.” Cloud scrunched up his nose. The movies were getting to her.

She chuckled. “Oh, we’ll see how you feel about that in a few years.”

He frowned. He hated it when grown-ups did that. “Ever,” he added. “I don’t wanna do that, ever.”

His mother raised an eyebrow. “Ever is a long time. And thirteen years is not. How do you know that?”

Cloud crossed his arms and looked away. His mother’s bluntness and honesty were usually something he liked about her, even if they often resulted in him being embarrassed, but in that moment all they were good for was making Cloud’s stomach turn. He frowned as he tried to imagine himself with another person in any of the ways she was describing. Sex. He squeezed his eyes shut to chase away the image. No.

“I just do,” he mumbled.

She hummed and reached out to take his shoulder. Cloud didn’t look at her. “Okay,” she said, in that tone that really meant that she was letting him win the battle but not the war. “Just remember, it’s okay to talk to me about anything like that.”

Cloud made a non-committal noise. His mother let go of his shoulder and leaned back in her chair. “On a completely unrelated note—” Cloud snorted— “do you still like Tifa?”

Cloud felt his cheeks heat up. “I guess,” he muttered, planting his eyes firmly on the ceiling. A lot of boys in Nibelheim had a crush on Tifa. She was nice, and pretty, and she was studying martial arts with Zangan, which was cool. Maybe she wanted to join SOLDIER too.

“Uh-huh,” said his mother. “And, when you think about her, you don’t—”

“Not like that!” he snapped. Unrelated note, my ass. “I don’t give a damn about—”

“Language,” she warned, voice even but firm.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to—to have sex with her.” He spat out the word like it would burn him if it took him any longer to say it. An uncomfortable weight sat at the mouth of his stomach.

His mother nodded. “Oh, of course. You’re way too young for that, both of you. But it’s okay to feel attracted to her in that way. It’s just part of growing up.” She smiled sweetly. “It’s normal, honey.”

It felt like a slap. Cloud stood up suddenly, nearly toppling his chair over. “Yeah, well, maybe I’m not normal.” His voice cracked on the last word, and it hung in the air for a long moment. His mother looked at him with a mixture of surprise, confusion, and pity.

“Oh, Cloud…” she started. “I’m—”

“Forget it,” he said, shoving his chair back under the table. “I’m going to my room.”

His mother called his name again, but he was already climbing the stairs two steps at a time. He quickly got to his room, slammed the door shut, and let himself fall down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling as his mother’s words replayed in his mind.

It’s normal to feel attracted to her in that way.

But he just didn’t. Why was it so hard to believe? What did it even mean? How was it different from just liking Tifa the normal way? He was pretty sure he did like her, but not—not like that. Not in the way everyone else did.

Cloud didn’t like to be around the other kids much, and they certainly didn’t like being around him either, but he’d heard them talk during recess at the schoolhouse. They talked about Tifa—or other people they liked—often, but in a way that made Cloud wish the ground would swallow him. They talked about their crushes’ bodies, and their own bodies, and about how they wanted to touch and be touched and—and then it varied from person to person, but it was never anything that Cloud could fathom being enjoyable. He also really didn’t think Tifa and the others would appreciate that kind of fantasies.

They had to be joking, right? Putting on a show of being grown-up and cool, like they did all the time. They were so immature. Attraction, sex… it was adult stuff, not something thirteen-year-olds thought up on their own.

At least, he didn’t. Once or twice, Cloud had tried imagining himself in some of the scenarios they described, but they just made him uncomfortable. One time, he’d snuck into the adult section of the library and gingerly flicked through a couple of magazines, only to quickly shelf them again with a mixture of shame, confusion, and dread.

His classmates were joking. They had to be. He couldn’t be the only one to find the whole… sex thing off-putting and weird.

…Right?

There came a soft knock at his door. “Cloud?” called his mother. “Can I come in?”

He hesitated. “Whatever,” he mumbled then, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

Quietly, she slipped inside the room and padded over to his bed. She sat down close to him—he felt the mattress dip—and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, baby,” she said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Cloud just huffed. His mother chuckled. “What, don’t want me calling you that? Well, tough luck.” She poked him lightly in the ribs. “You are my baby. My little silly goose.”

“Mom, come on,” grumbled Cloud, but he was finding it hard to keep frowning.

His mother giggled and pushed him a bit to the side so she could lie down next to him. “I really am sorry,” she said, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay if you don’t feel that way yet.”

Cloud bit his lip. “But…” Everyone else does.

“Not everyone’s journey is the same,” she continued, as if she’d read his mind. “You’re still so young. It’ll happen for you too, eventually. You’re just a bit of a late bloomer, that’s all.”

“I guess.” He frowned again. Could that be it? That he was just a late bloomer? It sounded more like wishful thinking—except he wasn’t really wishing for it, either. If he never bloomed at all, what then? Would that be okay?

The feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, if it makes you uncomfortable,” said his mother. “Do you want me to drop it?”

Cloud nodded, relieved. “Yeah.”

His mother smiled and pressed a light kiss into his hair, before getting off the bed with a quiet “Oof.” Cloud pushed himself up on his elbows and watched her make for the door. “Gonna go get dinner ready,” she said. “See you down in twenty minutes.”

“Okay,” said Cloud, as his mother disappeared into the hallway.

He let out a shaky sigh and lay down again. He didn’t have to worry about it. It was okay. He was okay. No need to think about the stuff that made him uncomfortable.

But everyone at school would, the next day and the day after that. Cloud would be sitting at his desk at the back of the classroom, scribbling absent-mindedly in his copybook while they talked. He would press his lips together and try to tune out dreams, fantasies, and desires that felt so alien to him.

I’m a late bloomer. I’m a late bloomer. I’m a late bloomer.

There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m a late bloomer.

Any day. Any day now.

---

Being bumped down to the Shinra army was a setback Cloud hadn’t expected on his way to becoming a top SOLDIER operative, but he wouldn’t be stuck there forever. He would work hard, train harder, and crush the entry test for SOLDIER when he took it again. He knew it. He wasn’t stuck in the army. It had only been one year. And, hey, he was already stationed in Midgar.

He wasn’t really there to make friends but, by the time their first week of assignments ended, he’d found himself sneaking over to another building in the barracks in the middle of the night. According to Alendi, his assigned sparring buddy and sharer-of-the-bunk-bed, he needed to loosen up. Cloud had rolled his eyes, but then he’d let him and his friends, whose names he only half-remembered, push him out the room.

As it turned out, the event was a small, clandestine party to celebrate a cadet’s eighteenth birthday away from the prying eyes of the officers. Alendi and Kim, one of the friends, made a beeline for the makeshift refreshment table, where a few bottles were being passed around already. Kim grabbed three cups and a brown bottle, filled them almost to the brim, and made to hand one to Cloud.

“I, uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “I’m fifteen,” he said. He was one of the youngest cadets, he knew that, but the age gap never seemed to matter, not until it came to dumb teenage stuff outside of the army.

“And a goody-two-shoes,” said Kim cheerily. “You’re not gonna rat us out, are ya?”

Cloud frowned. “Course not.”

“Great!” Alendi downed his drink and then swiped the one that had been meant for Cloud. “Better get this away from you, then,” he said with a wink.

He smiled tersely. “Yeah. Uh, sorry.”

Kim shrugged. “More for us.”

A couple of hours later, Cloud thought that maybe he should have been drinking after all. Everyone else was getting less coherent by the second, and Cloud was starting to feel more and more alone in the crowd. He wished he could leave, but he’d promised he’d help Alendi back to their bunk, so he was stuck.

Eventually, inexplicably, all of the guests ended up sitting in a circle on the ground, with Cloud pressed between Kim and someone whose name he was pretty sure was Fabian.

The birthday guy, on the other side of the circle, raised his cup with drunken shakiness. “I miss Areia,” he announced, slurring his words so much that Cloud almost didn’t catch them.

A girl next to Birthday Guy shoved him playfully. “No, you don’t. You miss the sex.”

A low rumble of laughter spread around the circle. Someone yelled, “Don’t sex your ex!”

Cloud swallowed a knot of anxiety in his throat and laughed nervously. He silently prayed for the conversation to swiftly move on.

The guy waved a hand in the air—the one that was holding the cup, so he spilled some of the drink on himself—and huffed. “I won’t, I won’t. But damn.” He nudged the girl. “I do miss the sex.”

She shoved him again. “Don’t look at me,” she laughed. “Taken, and not into guys, anyway.”

He laughed. “I know.” He looked at the circle again. “Any volunteers? Be a pretty cool birthday gift, jus’ sayin’.” He struck what was probably supposed to be a sultry pose, but ended up spilling more of his drink.

Everyone laughed again.

“It does suck, though,” said Fabian, next to Cloud. “Bein’ in the army an’ all—dating is a nightmare.”

“Maybe you’re just ugly,” said Alendi.

Fabian laughed. “Speak for yourself. I got high standards, that’s all. And no one here clears ‘em.”

Alendi threw his cup at him. “Oh, you dick. Okay, how’s this: Redi Moore, nautical engineering. What about her?”

As Fabian thought for a second, Cloud also wracked his brain until he found Dr Moore in there. She was kinda cold, but definitely knew what she was doing in the labs.

“Know what?” said Fabian, smacking his palm with his fist. “I’ll give you that one. Major hottie.”

The girl next to Birthday Guy whistled in agreement, and a lot of people around the circle nodded as well.

Cloud frowned. Right. This was still about being attracted to her. He rolled his eyes.

“What, not sold?” asked Alendi, and Cloud realised with a jolt of alarm that he was talking to him. “You don’t think she’s smoking hot?”

He swallowed. “Uh…” No? What does that even mean? Why does everyone know except for me? “I, uh, don’t even know her?” he finally got out.

Fabian shrugged. “Well, duh. Neither do we. What’s that got to do with anything?”

Cloud pushed down a surge of frustrated confusion. How can you like someone you don’t know? He shook his head. “Isn’t she, like, in her twenties?”

Alendi leaned back on his hands. “Fair enough, I guess. She is kinda old for you. Well, there anyone your age you like?”

Cloud wanted to protest being talked down to like that, but at least he’d dodged a bullet for now. So, he swallowed his irritation and shrugged. “Not really.”

Kim clicked his tongue. “Oh, come on. There’s gotta be someone.”

He rolled his eyes. “Nope.”

Fabian slapped his hand on Cloud’s shoulder so hard that he buckled a bit under it. “You’re holding out on us! That’s no fun.”

Cloud groaned. Were they really not going to leave him alone until he gave them a name? Fine. “Well, uh,” he started, “I guess there’s this one girl. From back home.” That was safe, right? Tifa was all the way back in Nibelheim. No risk of them trying to set him up with her or anything.

But Alendi looked disappointed. “Aww, but that’s so far away.”

Cloud shrugged. “Dunno what to tell ya.”

“Well, we gotta find you someone here,” said Kim, shaking his head. “You need to loosen up, Blondie.”

Cloud frowned. Damnit. “Not interested. Don’t have time, anyway.”

Fabian laughed. “I’m sure you’ll make time. So, you’re into girls, right? Just you wait until—”

“Not. Interested,” repeated Cloud, with some venom slipping into his voice. For a moment, he thought about explaining himself. Explaining that he didn’t understand that world they all seemed to care so much about, that he was the latest of the late bloomers—not broken, not broken, not broken, any day now—that he didn’t know why it mattered if he found people attractive-in-the-sexy-way or not. But he figured it would’ve been nothing more than a waste of effort, so he just glared at Fabian and Kim.

The mood seemed to shift in a moment of surprised silence.

“C’mon, guys, leave him be,” said Alendi, tapping Kim on the shoulder. “He’s already got someone, didn’t you hear?” But he was frowning at Cloud as well. He knew that look. It meant, ‘It was all in good fun. Why can’t you take a joke?’

Cloud didn’t have an answer. But he’d had enough of the party.

“I wanna get some early training in,” he said, standing up. “Think I’m gonna head back. You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Yeah,” said Alendi. “Don’t get caught.”

Cloud nodded, then made a beeline for the door, walking as fast as he could without running. Once he was finally outside in the cool night air, he sighed in relief.

“Want me to beat them up for ya?” came a voice from behind him.

Cloud jumped a bit and turned to find the girl from earlier leaning on the wall just beside the door, with a lit cigarette between her fingers.

“What?”

She straightened up. “Fabian and the others,” she said. “Looked like they were giving you a hard time. And you looked upset earlier too.”

“Oh.” Cloud shook his head. Damn. Someone had noticed. “It’s nothing.”

She tilted her head to the side. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She took a long drag from her cigarette. “Let me know if you need help, though.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “…Why? You don’t know me.”

She blew out a perfect circle of smoke from her lips. “Feel like it,” she said, shrugging. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then added, “I’ve been there.”

Cloud frowned. “Where? What do you mean?”

Instead of answering, the girl tossed a glance up at the street clock nearby. “You going back? If you make a run for it now, you should dodge the patrol.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

She waved a hand in the air—first dismissively and then in a shooing motion. “Run along now. I’ll see you around, Blondie.”

He nodded, then said, “It’s Cloud.”

“Noa,” she said. “Nice to meet you. Now go.”

She tossed her cigarette on the ground and put it out with the heel of her boot, then offered one last wave before slipping back inside the barracks.

Cloud stood there only a moment longer before turning around and hurrying in the direction of his own building. Idly, as he hid behind a wall to check for anyone patrolling the area, he wondered what Noa had meant by ‘having been there.’

---

Off-duty SOLDIERs weren’t strictly allowed to wander in and out of army common rooms as they pleased, but Zack Fair had never been one to let something as trivial as rules stop him. Cloud’s superior officer shot Zack a glare as he strolled inside the room and casually flopped down onto the least uncomfortable couch, while Cloud closed the report that he’d been reading with a slight smile. It wasn’t like he was gonna get any more work done with Zack there.

He hoisted his legs onto the backrest of the couch so he was lying upside down, and let out a long, satisfied sigh—in Zack-speak, it meant that he wanted Cloud to ask him what he was so happy about.

“Had a good day?” Cloud turned around to sit backwards in his chair.

Zack gave him a big upside-down grin. “Not yet! I’m basking in the anticipation.”

Cloud hummed. “That so?”

“Yep.” Zack spread his arms out. “I’m seeing my girlfriend, tonight. I’ve been so busy, I’ve barely managed to get down to Sector 5 lately.”

The familiar little sting of jealousy was easy to ignore. It wasn’t like Cloud had ever thought his vague, half-crush on Zack would ever go anywhere—frankly, he didn’t even want it to, because it would inevitably lead to places he was desperately uncomfortable with. Places that Zack’s mind was very clearly at as he kept talking, unaware of Cloud’s thoughts.

“She said her mom’s not gonna be home,” said Zack. “She asked me to spend the night!” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.“She was so cute and excited about it.”

“Uh-huh.” Right. For all that he felt at ease around Zack, there was still that invisible barrier of understanding, that world Cloud just didn’t get. It made him feel so… alone.

Zack brought his hands together. “Ah, I can’t wait. It’s such a hassle to find some privacy ‘round the slums—and she won’t even come close to HQ—so this is a golden opportunity. Man, I’m starting to get kinda nervous. I haven’t been with anyone in a while. What if I’m rusty?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I just really, really like her, y’know? I gotta make tonight awesome for both of us.”

“Uh-huh.”

Zack fell quiet for a second. Cloud looked up—he’d let his gaze wander off into nothingness—and found him frowning at him.

“You okay?” asked Zack, turning around on the couch so he was sitting normally.

Cloud gave a well-rehearsed nonchalant shrug. “Uh, yeah. All good.”

Zack’s frown deepened. “You’re a bad liar. What’s wrong? Was it something I said?”

“I’m fine. Really.” Cloud winced as Zack’s expression morphed into one of deep thought. Once he was sure something was going on, there was no dissuading him.

“Hmm… Does it bother you when I talk about my girlfriend?” he asked, putting a hand on his chin.

Cloud sighed and shook his head. “Of course not.”

“You got all sour when I mentioned I was going over to her place tonight,” said Zack. His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, I get it. Sorry—didn’t mean to brag.”

“Huh?” Cloud cocked his head to the side. “Brag?”

“Well, yeah. You’re not seeing anyone and here I am, going off about spending the night at my girlfriend’s.” He scratched the back of his neck. “So, uh, sorry.”

“I didn’t think you were bragging,” said Cloud, in a half laugh. “It’s fine.”

“Still.” Zack shrugged. “I feel bad.”

Cloud shook his head. “Don’t. I’m not interested anyway.”

Zack furrowed his brows. “Not interested… in what?”

“You know…” Cloud gestured vaguely with his hand, averting his gaze. Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.

“I really don’t. What’re you talking about?”

Cloud hesitated. Zack was looking at him with a mixture of sincere curiosity and confusion. And, when he tossed a look around, he saw that no one else was in the common room anymore. Maybe… Maybe it would be okay to talk to him about it. Maybe he would understand. He took a deep breath. “It’s just—I don’t get it,” he said, fiddling with his gloves so he wouldn’t have to look Zack in the eye. “The whole… sex thing.” He felt his ears burn, like he was a child caught saying a bad word. “I don’t get why it’s such a big deal to everyone. I dunno. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

Zack didn’t say anything, but Cloud wasn’t looking at him to gauge his reaction. Now that he was talking—for the first time in years—it was hard to stop. “I feel like I’m missing something—like everyone’s in on the joke except for me. I dunno—that bothers me. Not you talking about your girlfriend or anything like that.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’ve never looked at anyone and thought that I wanted to have sex with them. Is that something people just do? I just don’t get it. But everyone else does. I feel—” He cut himself off. Different. Lesser. Broken.

He had to shut up, so he did. He hazarded a glance up at Zack. He had his face scrunched up in thought, as if he were trying to remember something. Or maybe it was bafflement, confusion, disgust at Cloud’s particular brand of damaged. As unlikely as that sounded, coming from someone as nice as Zack, the prolonged stretch of silence was starting to gnaw at Cloud’s bones.

He swallowed a knot in his throat. “Know what? Forget I—”

“Oh!” Zack cut him off by snapping his fingers as his face lit up. “You’re ace, aren’t you?”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “I’m… what?” Ace? Of what? He hadn’t done that well on his latest physical assessment—and what did that have to do with anything anyway?

Zack leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Ace! Asexual!”

Cloud just shook his head. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Oh.” Zack leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, I gotta get this right. Kunsel explained it to me a while back.”

An explanation!? Cloud bit his lip to keep it from shaking. Whether that was out of fear, or excitement, he didn’t know.

Zack looked up. “Right, okay. So, you said you don’t get being attracted to people, right?”

“Right,” said Cloud, flushing a bit. “In the I-wanna-have-sex-with-you way, at least.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, so, you know how everyone kinda has a preference in who they like? Guys, girls, non-binary people, all of the above…” Cloud nodded. “Well, some are the opposite of that. Asexual people don’t feel that way. Towards anyone. Some still like the sex, some don’t—but they’re not attracted to anyone that way.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “That way,” he repeated slowly. “The, uh, I-wanna-have-sex-with-you way?” He suddenly regretted calling it that.

Zack nodded. “Well, yeah. They might still like people romantically, but not sexually,” he said. “So, like, you’re into someone but you don’t wanna sleep with them, y’know?” He scratched the back of his neck. “I think that’s right. Mostly.”

Cloud stared at the floor. Asexual.

There’s… a word. There’s a word for it. It was a little hard to breathe.

“Cloud,” started Zack, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I think you’re ace.”

A word for me.

A million questions swirled in his mind, but the one he ended up going with was, “Is… Is that okay?”

Zack burst out laughing. “Of course it’s okay!” he exclaimed. “Can’t say I relate, myself, but it’s great!” His expression softened a bit. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Cloud. It’s okay.”

Something must have shown on his face—Cloud wasn’t even entirely sure what. Too many thoughts and emotions were running around in his mind—overlapping, pushing, and stumbling into a confused pile as they all tried to be the main thought. Cloud shook his head. He could sort them out later. He offered Zack a small smile. “I think I’m ace,” he said, as if it could sum up all that he was feeling.

Zack grinned and playfully pushed a fist against his shoulder. “Atta boy,” he said. “But you should definitely look more into it yourself. Or ask Kunsel about it. I swear, that guy’s a walking encyclopaedia.”

“I don’t know Kunsel.”

Zack shrugged. “Well, you didn’t know you were ace until five seconds ago. Things can change, buddy.”

Cloud laughed as a knot finally unravelled inside him, one that had been tightening for years.

I’m not broken.

For the first time in forever, he didn’t feel like he was lying to himself.

---

The house hadn’t changed at all. The counters in the kitchen were still cluttered but tidy, the rug in the hall still caught on the front door, the vase by the window still sat empty—no doubt waiting for the day Cloud’s mother finally planted the expensive seeds she’d gotten as a present years before. Everything was the same as when he’d left.

Cloud wished he’d changed a little more, himself.

He finally took off his helmet when he stepped inside, and was immediately enveloped in a tight hug by his mother.

“Welcome home,” she said, as Cloud patted her shoulders. “You’ve gotten so tall! What happened? Oh, it’s been too long.”

Cloud chuckled awkwardly. He hadn’t realised he’d hit a growth spurt in his time away. Now his mother was a full head shorter than him, just tall enough for her hair to tickle his chin.

“It’s only been two years,” said Cloud.

His mother stepped away from the hug and put her hands on her hips. “Only! No wonder you never call—must feel like yesterday to you! While I’m here, left to my own devices and wondering how my baby boy is doing in the big city.” She faux-pouted.

Cloud snorted. “I call. Sometimes.”

His mother raised an eyebrow. Cloud winced. She giggled and shook his head. “We’ll work on that. Welcome home, honey.” She patted his cheek and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. “Come on. I was just about to make dinner. You’ve got some time, right?”

Cloud nodded. “I’m on call. But it should be fine—Sephiroth said we’re gonna start the inspection tomorrow. I’ll be busy then.”

She sighed. “Well, at least I get you all to myself for a little bit. How long will you be in town for?”

“Couple weeks, give or take.”

His mother hummed, turned to the stove, and started puttering about as Cloud went to set the table. They didn’t speak for a little while. His mother seemed at ease, singing quietly to herself as she cooked, but Cloud felt his own silence weigh on him.

He’d failed. He was supposed to come home a SOLDIER, a hero—or at least a hero in the making. But he wasn’t. He was just yet another faceless grunt in the army. He could barely face his mother, let alone Tifa and the promise he’d made her. He sighed inwardly as he set down two glasses on the table.

Behind him, he heard his mother stop in her tracks. Even without turning around, Cloud knew she was studying him.

“You know,” she started, as the clinking of kitchen utensils resumed, “I’m so proud of you.”

Cloud didn’t look at her.

“I am. I know you’re not where you want to be just yet, but I’m proud of who you are. It takes a lot of courage to leave home to go follow your dreams, especially when you’re so young. Look at you.” Gently, she took him by the shoulder so she could look him in the eye. “You’ve grown so much.”

Cloud gave a half-laugh and averted his gaze. “Mom, c’mon.”

She huffed playfully and let him go. “Alright, alright, you’re prickly today.” She turned back to the counter. “But I mean it. I keep expecting to see my baby boy and I keep finding a man.” She giggled. “A really handsome one, at that. I bet girls are all over you.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Not really.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t believe that.” She tossed him a glance over her shoulder. “No one?”

“Nope.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down. “Seriously? We’re doing this?”

She shrugged. “Well, excuse me if I’m worried about you. All alone in the big city…”

“I live in HQ. And I’ve been out of the house for two years.”

His mother tutted. “That doesn’t make me feel better. There are so many dangers and temptations—”

“Temptations?”

“—But you know what would make me feel a lot better?”

Cloud grimaced. “Please don’t—”

She turned around and pointed at him with a wooden spoon. “You finding a nice girl to settle down with!”

He groaned and leaned back into his chair. “As if. I can take care of myself.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Have you learned to cook?”

“That’s not—”

“But it’s more than that,” she continued, turning back around. “You need someone to keep you out of trouble, and someone who’s gonna tell you when you’re being silly.”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I’m doing just fine.” And, unless I find someone who’s also ace, that’s never gonna happen anyway.

“Like right now,” she said. “Maybe an older girlfriend. I think that’d be perfect for you.”

Cloud sighed. She still didn’t get it. “Not interested,” he said.

His mother glanced at him again. “You’re holding out on me, aren’t you? Oh, there is someone, isn’t there?” She set down the pan and switched off the stove, then turned around and went to sit in the chair in front of Cloud’s. “Come on, you can tell me!”

Cloud groaned. “I don’t—” He cut himself off and frowned. He was holding out on her, just not in the way she thought. How was she supposed to know he was asexual if he didn’t tell her? I should just do it, shouldn’t I? Maybe she’d stop needling him about getting a girlfriend, then. He took a deep breath. “No one, really. But there’s something I—”

Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.

His mother cocked her head to the side. “Is that your phone?”

“Yeah,” said Cloud, fishing it out of his pocket. He smiled when he saw that it was a text from Zack. Maybe he was taking Cloud on about coming to dinner at his place. “Just a sec.”

He quickly scanned the text and frowned.

“Something bad?”

He shook his head. “Not really. But I have to report back to the Inn for a briefing.”

Her face fell. “Now? But you said—”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Cloud stood up and grabbed his discarded helmet. “But that’s what being on call means. I have to be available.”

His mother walked with him to the door. “I understand,” she said sadly. “Well, alright. Go do your big important job. But I expect you to be back before you leave for a proper dinner.” She winked and patted his shoulder. “And maybe you can bring this mysterious texter along. I saw you smile at your phone, don’t think I didn’t.”

Cloud snorted. “Seriously?” Well, now he couldn’t ask Zack to come with him, unless he wanted to die of embarrassment. “It’s not like that. Actually, I—” He cut himself off and frowned. He couldn’t come out to his mother while halfway out the front door. He needed to sit her down and explain himself. “Know what? I’ll tell you when I come back for dinner.”

She nodded and leaned against the doorframe. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that.”

He smiled. “Yeah. Don’t worry. See you later.”

---

Cloud hadn’t expected to run into Tifa again, especially not in Midgar of all places. She ran a bar, now, on top of being part of a small eco-terrorist cell out to take down Shinra. And, well, Cloud was only happy to help with that part—for a fee, of course.

Tifa had been excited to see him. Cloud was glad to see she was doing well, although he couldn’t quite shake the memory of her lying on the floor of the Nibelheim reactor in a pool of her own blood. Cloud frowned. He’d really thought she wouldn’t make it.

But she had, and she’d built a new life in Midgar. She told him about it as she confidently led him through the narrow streets that made up the Sector 7 Undercity, the day after the Reactor 1 mission, but Cloud was only half-listening. It was a by-product of his SOLDIER training: he had to be on constant alert in case anything happened. However, instead of approaching enemies or monsters, all he picked up on were fragments of conversations from the people around him.

“Did you hear about the secret reactor jobs?”

“Wedge has so many cats—I wanna go see them!”

“Have you seen Betty? She was just at the playground…”

“I wanna drink with Tifa so bad.”

“Who wouldn’t? She’s a looker!”

“A bombshell, even!”

“I really wanna ask her out.”

“No way, dude, she’s so out of your league.”

Cloud stopped in his tracks. He quickly found the three drunk-at-10-in-the-morning men sitting on the steps in front of a house just a short distance away. They saw his glare and rushed to cover their faces.

“Oh, great. That her boyfriend or somethin’?”

Cloud sighed, shook his head, and hurried to catch back up with Tifa. When it came to being into someone, adults and thirteen-year-olds had a lot in common.

Seeing his old crush again, after so many years—and a very important realisation—had been strange. She’d gone from being pretty to undeniably beautiful, but Cloud didn’t think he felt any differently about her. And it was fine.

Years before, Cloud would’ve felt self-conscious and weird about looking at Tifa without a trace of the fabled sexual attraction—did feel self-conscious and weird. But there was a sense of peace about recognising his asexuality, a release from that expectation. He couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d realised it, or when he’d first learned the term. But it didn’t matter, he supposed. All that mattered was that he had it, and that he didn’t need to feel like there was something wrong with him anymore.

“Cloud?”

He shook his head and looked at Tifa. She’d stopped a few steps in front of him, and had a quizzical expression on her face. “Hm?”

“You good? You seem distracted.”

“I’m good,” he said. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

He shrugged. “Nothin’. Let’s go.”

Cloud walked ahead of Tifa, then let her catch up because she was the one leading him to wherever their odd jobs were taking them. After just a moment of silence, she started talking about a customer that had been giving her grief the day before, light and casual. Cloud again let her voice wash over him as he listened to the words and noises of the Undercity. It was kind of relaxing.

---

While Cloud had a lot of practice interrogating his own feelings of attraction—or lack thereof—he wasn’t used to being the target of it. It seemed unfair: he didn’t want anything to do with it, so why were other people dragging him into their games and desires?

Working with Jessie had been a rude awakening in that regard. He couldn’t be sure how much of it was an act—according to Wedge, it was all of it, Cloud disagreed—but Jessie was well and truly too thirsty for her own good.

He’d never really questioned whether or not he was attractive, but Jessie was very clear and very vocal about her opinion on the subject.

She’d kept up the flirty comments during the entirety of the Reactor mission, and then as he escorted her to the Plate to procure ingredients for her bombs. He didn’t really understand how she could focus on him while also dodging mortal danger. Maybe she was trying to get him to loosen up, or coping with fear. Either way, Cloud didn’t have time to pay her much mind while fighting for his—and everyone’s—life. However, he didn’t have anywhere to escape when she chose to hit on him with no danger in sight, when he went to check on her after their escapade to the Plate.

“Promise you’ll come back tomorrow night? My roommates should all be out.” Jessie linked her hands behind her back and winked as she swayed on the balls of her feet. “Come ooon. It’ll be lots of fun!”

Cloud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can’t be that desperate.”

Jessie shrugged. “Who says I’m desperate? It’s not like I’m settling, Mr Eye Candy.” As if to underline her point, she looked him up and down with an exaggerated pensive expression and a satisfied hmm. He felt his face heat up a bit.

“Seriously?” groaned Cloud. “Cut it out. Not interested.”

Jessie frowned and took a step back. “Oh. Okay. Uh, sorry.”

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes. “Don’t take it the wrong way,” he said. “It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just—”

Jessie burst out laughing. “Are you seriously giving me the it’s not you, it’s me?” She waved a hand in the air. “Thought that only happened in shitty movies.”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “Huh?”

“Sorry, babe,” said Jessie, in a deep, goofy voice. “It’s not you—it’s me. See, my love for brooding and whacking things with a sword is far stronger than my love for you. It’ll never work between us.”

“I don’t sound like that,” said Cloud, shaking his head. He did offer a half smile, though. “And I didn’t say that.”

Jessie put her hands on her hips. “May-ko, Mah-ko. Anyway, I better get going.” She didn’t even pretend to move. “Buuut, if you reconsider...”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

She brought a hand to her chest, faux-hurt. “Ouch! Hey, is that the arrow of love, piercing my heart? Or the cold sting of rejection?”

Cloud snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

Jessie winked. “It’s part of the charm, Hotshot. It working?”

Cloud shook his head. Again, the question of her sincerity prodded at his mind. He toyed with the idea of telling her about himself—about how it really wasn’t because of her that he wasn’t interested. But, somehow, he doubted it would have worked. “Not really,” he said.

Jessie laughed. “Oh, you sweet-talker. I’ll win ya over, one of these days. Just you see.”

“Uh-huh.”

She winked and finally turned to open the door to her house. “Well, it’s getting late. Thanks for coming to check on me. And thanks for tonight.” She waved and went inside—but she pushed the door open again just a moment later. “Remember! Offer’s still valid!”

Cloud shut the door in her face.

---

Wall Market was home to many a neon sign, but the most glaring of all to Cloud was the one reiterating just how ace he was in contrast to how horny everyone else seemed to be.

“You two! Yes, you!” shouted a barker standing in front of a rickety-looking inn. “Do you have a place to stay this enchanted evening? We have the perfect room for a sweet-looking couple like you!”

Cloud groaned as Aerith giggled by his side. “No thanks,” he said quickly. And he was the weird one for not being into sex? Maybe some people needed to be slightly less into it, instead.

“But you thought about it, didn’t you?” said Aerith, winking at him.

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Get real.”

She giggled again. “Sorry, sorry. I’m kidding.” She took his arm and gently turned him around. “The nerve of some people, right? Come on. Inn’s this way.”

He let her lead him away as the barker shouted something at their retreating backs. After a few steps, Aerith let go of Cloud’s arm, but kept walking close to him anyway. She seemed to know where she was going, so he took the chance to properly take in his surroundings.

Wall Market was… a lot. A lot of noise, a lot of bright lights, a lot of people. At times, it was almost hard to keep his eyes open. He wondered whether it was a special night, or if every night in Wall Market was like that. It sounded exhausting to exist in any longer than strictly necessary, but maybe he was just wired weird. There was music coming from somewhere—multiple somewheres, in fact, playing a bunch of different songs—and people were dancing, eating, drinking, chatting like they didn’t have a care in the world.

Even Aerith seemed to be enjoying herself just by passing through the crowd. There was a bounce in her step that hadn’t been there earlier in the day, in Sector 5. Cloud realised it was a dance. It was subtle and subdued, but there nonetheless, as if she couldn’t quite ignore the urge to follow the beat, no matter their mission to rescue Tifa. It was strangely endearing, and Cloud briefly wished they had the time to stop so she could dance properly. But they didn’t and, before he knew it, they were in front of the Honeybee Inn’s neon-covered entrance, and the bounce vanished.

“Alright!” exclaimed Aerith, stopping beside him with her hands on her hips. “Let’s go over the plan again.”

Cloud sighed. “It’s not much of a plan. You bargained me away in exchange for disguises.”

She laughed and patted his shoulder. “Oh, don’t be dramatic. I still need you for this mission, I can’t very well just bargain you away. You just have to give the nice people a good show, that’s all.”

Cloud eyed the crowd of drunk and loud perspective spectators lining up outside of the Honeybee Inn. Aerith giggled again. “Besides, I’ll be there too. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You still haven’t told me what the show is,” groaned Cloud.

Aerith shrugged. “That’s because I don’t know. Haven’t been here before, and the owner didn’t say. Guess we’ll just have to go inside and ask. He should be back by now.”

Stepping inside the Honeybee Inn was like entering a whole new world inside a bubble. The interior of the building was lavishly decorated, clean, and spacious: a far cry from the cramped chaos of the rest of Wall Market. As Aerith walked directly to the reception desk, Cloud looked around the lobby. Mixed in with the steadily growing crowd of customers, there were people dressed in bright yellow and black, some sporting top-hats and vests and some in one of the most ridiculous getups Cloud had ever seen. They were wearing fishnet tights and fuzzy collars, and they had a large plastic ball stuck to their backs, painted to resemble a bee’s sting, as well as antennae and wings.

Cloud had long given up trying to figure out what people found hot about other people, but ‘sexy bee’ had to be a weird one, right?

“Well,” said Aerith, suddenly appearing at his side. “Guess we know why it’s called Honeybee Inn, now.”

Cloud snorted. “Yeah. Talked to the owner?”

“Yep,” said Aerith, popping the p. “They’re waiting for you just through those doors.”

He nodded. “And you?”

She pointed to a bee-girl standing a little bit behind her. “Gonna go get ready now. I’ll see you inside. Break a leg, ‘kay?”

Cloud sighed. “Sure. Let’s get this over with.”

Aerith giggled and waved at him before walking over to the bee-girl, who took her by the elbow and led her into a small side corridor. Cloud took a deep breath and made his way to the door Aerith had pointed out to him, the one that had a sign with a cartoon bee wearing a tutu and ballet shoes.

Inside, he was immediately met by two bee-girls rushing up to him.

“Cloud, right?” asked the taller of the two, taking his arm. “We’ve been waiting for you! Come on, the show’s about to start!”

Cloud frowned. “Hey, hold on—I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

The bee-girls shared a look. “Oh, don’t worry, honey,” said the shorter bee, also tugging him by the arm. “You just follow the lead and everything will be okay. It’s just dancing.”

Cloud sputtered, “Dancing!?”

The first bee-girl gave him a bright smile. “Isn’t it exciting? C’mon, this way!”

“Hey, wait a—”

A few minutes later, Cloud was sitting in a small booth to the side of a large dark room, only illuminated by a few candles set on each table. People were slowly pouring in and Cloud could just about make out stagehands setting something up on the big, raised platform in the back of the hall. The two bee-girls from before were sitting on either side of him, and Cloud wanted nothing more than for them to not.

If he had thought that Jessie’s flirting was uncomfortable, it didn’t hold a candle to the Honeybee Inn girls. They were both pressed against him: one of them had her head on his shoulder, while the other was running her hand along his arm.

“I can’t wait to see you in action,” she said, squeezing his wrist. “I bet you move like a dream.” She winked. “Hey, if you’re up for it, I’m free later tonight for a private showing.”

Cloud grimaced. “I’m not,” he said.

“Oh, that’d be fun,” piped up the other bee-girl, tapping Cloud’s chest. “You sure you can’t spare some time for us?” She put on a cutesy pout.

Cloud kinda wanted to bolt, but he didn’t know where Aerith was, or how he could find her quickly enough to get away from the Honeybee Inn. “Very sure.”

The first bee-girl snapped her fingers and finally leaned away from him. “Oh, I get it! You’re with that girl from before, aren’t you? Shit, sorry, didn’t realise.”

He opened his mouth to deny it, but then closed it. Probably for the best if he let them believe he was taken rather than simply uninterested. He sighed inwardly. Why couldn’t people just take a hint?

The other girl let him go as well. “That brunette in the pink dress? Oh, I see. She’s cute—you guys make a good couple.”

Cloud just hummed, eyes fixed on a point just above the dark stage. He felt his face heat up a bit, but hopefully they couldn’t tell.

The first girl patted him on the shoulder in a way that was much less uncomfortable than before. “Well, good luck. Oh, look, the show’s about to start!”

A single spotlight appeared over the stage, and bee-people started pouring in from the wings as a steady beat grew in volume from the speakers. The bee-girls took Cloud by the arms and dragged him with them to the stage. There, they handed him over to another bee-person, who all but threw him to the spotlight. Once he got there, the beat stopped, and he quickly backed out of the beam of light.

Cloud slowly looked up. He could barely see the audience in the dark, and he couldn’t hear anything but hushed giggles and his own heartbeat pumping loudly in his ears.

Shit.

He looked around. The bee-people were standing still, neatly positioned in two lines at his sides. One of the bee-girls from earlier caught his eyes and motioned to the smile on her face. Cloud scowled at her. The beat started up again, and a bee-guy nodded towards the spotlight.

He sighed. Okay. Fine. Just gotta get through this.

Cloud closed his eyes and straightened up. He was a SOLDIER, trained to control his body and adapt to his surroundings. He could improvise a stupid dance.

As soon as he stepped into the spotlight again, cheers erupted from the audience, as well as applause and whistles. Someone yelled, “Woah, he’s hot!” and Cloud suddenly wanted to turn tail again. Everyone in the hall was looking right at him, and he decided very quickly that he hated it. He wasn’t trained to deal with that.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. The hell do I do?

“Woo! You got this, Cloud!”

Aerith’s voice cut right through the fog in his brain. He shook his head and looked for her. She was sitting in the closest booth to the stage. She’d changed: she was wearing a deep red dress and had red flowers woven into her hair. She gave him a bright grin and a thumbs-up.

Seeing her seemed to snap his mind back in place. Everything was fine. He had no stakes in the stupid dance going well. He just needed to uphold his end of the bargain so he and Aerith could get the hell out of there and go save Tifa.

Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Everything was fine. It was. Aerith was right there and cheering him on. Even if he was stuck up on a stage, under the eyes of a room full of people, he suddenly felt much calmer. He didn’t need to be good, he just needed to get through the show. To hell with the crowd of strangers. But seeing Aerith so excited made him want to at least give her a fun time. He didn’t need to care about the rest of the audience. If he just focused on making her smile, it’d be fine.

When the music came blaring in, the dancing began, and Cloud kept his eyes on Aerith throughout the show.

---

Falling in love with Aerith hurt.

It hurt in a way Cloud had never experienced before. Before, he’d never really given much thought to crushes. He’d realise he liked someone, then shrug and move on. He knew nothing would come of it and, even if it did, he knew that they would leave the second they found out he just wasn’t the full package when it came to relationships.

It had been like that with Tifa, at least for a little bit after they’d reconnected in Midgar. So what if Cloud had still sort of liked her? Why tell her if all the possible outcomes led to awkwardness and embarrassment? Either she didn’t like him, and that would’ve been that, or she did and then she would have left anyway after finding out he was ace. Rejection was lying in wait, sooner or later, and it just wasn’t worth the trouble. So Cloud had just… waited it out. It really hadn’t been that hard, in hindsight. He’d been busy, after all. His doomed love life could wait.

And then… and then he’d met Aerith.

Falling in love with her had snuck up on him. One day, they were friends forged by circumstances and a common enemy. The next, he’d woken up in their party’s shared tent to Aerith having curled up to him in her sleep, and he’d thought that he never wanted to leave that moment, that he wanted to hug her, hold her close, and share every morning with her for the rest of his life.

Except he couldn’t.

There was no way Aerith liked him that way—not when she was so incredibly charming, funny, spirited, and beautiful, and Cloud was just… Cloud. She deserved the world, not someone who struggled with grasping a simple high-five.

And if, somehow, it turned out that she did love him back, that still wouldn’t have solved anything. Even in his lowest moments, Cloud couldn’t quite bring himself to believe that she would have been disgusted by him being asexual, but she had the right to not want to be with someone who couldn’t offer her that side of a relationship.

He knew she wasn’t ace—first off, because almost nobody else was, but also because he’d sometimes overheard her talk with Tifa, no matter how hard he tried not to listen in. But Aerith didn’t have a shy bone in her body, and so Cloud had learned that she’d had at least a few one-night-stands and a couple of boyfriends over the years—curiously, though, never someone from Sector 5. She’d never gone into much detail, thankfully, but it was enough for Cloud to never even develop the faintest hope that, maybe, she was like him.

Once again, he’d decided to just wait it out. But it was so much harder than it had been with Tifa. Aerith was her own centre of gravity, and Cloud couldn’t help it if he loved being drawn into her orbit. He couldn’t push her away when she joined him to chat while he kept watch at night, he couldn’t help but be happy whenever they were sent to scout out an area together, he couldn’t stop watching out for her reactions whenever he said something funny or cool. It wasn’t so much that it was hard not to act on his feelings, but it just hurt to know he never could.

Cloud had never wished he was normal, not until Aerith. He’d tried, he’d tried so hard to be normal for her, to not be ace. He’d tried putting himself in the shoes of someone who could be sexually attracted to people, but he didn’t know how to. He didn’t know how it was supposed to feel, what he was supposed to think. Aerith was gorgeous and so vibrantly alive that sometimes it felt like he was looking at the sun. If he wasn’t attracted to her in that way, then he doubted he ever could be, to anyone.

So, that left him no choice but to keep his damn mouth shut and push down those feelings until they either went away or became a dull ache in the back of his mind that he could learn to live with.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

Cloud looked up from the campfire to find Aerith standing just outside the tent, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a small, tired, smile.

You, he thought.

“Nothing,” he said.

“Me too,” said Aerith. She walked close, sat down next to him, and draped her blanket over his shoulders as well as hers. “Mind if I keep you company?”

Cloud shrugged, even though his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. “Suit yourself.”

She smiled. “Think I will.” She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Cloud exhaled quietly.

It hurt, but seeing her leave would have hurt more.

---

Cloud woke up with a sharp intake of breath, but he didn’t open his eyes right away.

Where am I?

He was lying on hard and uneven ground, with something jutting uncomfortably into his shoulder. His clothes were wet and sticky, and a light breeze was making him shiver. People were whispering around him, and someone was holding his hand over his chest.

What happened?

He’d been… asleep, but dreaming about the Lifestream. Tifa had been there, floating in his dream and helping him put it together like a puzzle, until the picture was clear and Cloud was himself again, rather than a pale and pathetic imitation of the SOLDIER he’d failed to be.

He clutched the hand holding his a little bit tighter. He needed the grounding.

“Cloud?” called a voice in a whisper, a voice he could have picked up even in the middle of a thunderstorm. “Cloud, are you…?”

His eyelids were heavy, but he managed to pry them open, just so he could see her. She was kneeling right beside him, his hand in hers and eyes shiny with tears. She had a trembling smile on her face, and she looked dishevelled and frazzled.

But she was there, and she was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

He tried to speak. “A-Aerith…” he said, like a prayer, as he tried to push himself upright.

But she had other plans. “Cloud!” she exclaimed, breathless. She let go of his hand and threw her arms around his neck, pushing him back to the ground as she held him tight.

Cloud wrapped his arms around her middle out of reflex and relief. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and took a deep, shaky breath. She’s here. She’s real. “Aerith,” he murmured, just because he could. I love you, I love you, I love you.

She let out a weak laugh and pulled him up into a sitting position without ever letting go of him. “You’re here,” she whispered, a hair away from his ear. “You’re okay. Right?”

He chuckled quietly. “Think so.”

Aerith held him tighter. “Thank goodness.”

Other people were still talking around them, but Cloud didn’t pay them any mind. He could feel Aerith’s hummingbird-fast heartbeat against his chest, and he wondered if she could feel his in the same way.

She let go of him just enough to look him in the eyes. She cupped his face in her hands and gently wiped a tear from his cheek—he hadn’t known he was crying. He did the same for her.

“Hey,” he whispered, because he didn’t know what to say.

Aerith smiled. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said, voice dripping with emotion. “There you are.”

Then she kissed him, soft and salty from the tears.

Cloud had never been kissed before. His eyes snapped wide open and then squeezed shut, and he balled his hands into the back of her jacket as he pulled her closer, unsure but determined. Aerith hummed, a quiet vibration that echoed all the way down to his chest, which was so tight that it felt like he was going to explode. In that moment, nothing else mattered.

Aerith pulled away from him for a second. She made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob and said, “You’re back, you’re back, you’re back!”

Cloud laughed. “I’m back.” And then he drew her into another warm kiss.

Someone laughed behind her. “Alright, alright, lovebirds, get a room,” said Barret. “C’mon, Aerith, give the guy some space. We were all worried sick.”

Cloud wanted to protest that he didn’t want any space from her, but she huffed good-naturedly and let him go. She didn’t go far, though. She settled down next to him and took his hand again, squeezing it gently.

Cloud finally looked around. All of his friends were there and everyone was smiling.

He smiled as well and tightened his hold on Aerith’s hand. She grinned and leaned against him, shoulder to shoulder. “Welcome back,” she said.

For that one, single moment, everything was perfect.

---

Aerith had told him that she loved him.

Cloud lay awake in his bed in the Kalm Inn, as his mind kept replaying her face and her voice. It seemed impossible. But, then again, he’d seen his fair share of impossible things lately.

They’d defeated Sephiroth.

Holy and the Lifestream had destroyed Meteor.

They’d saved the world.

Aerith loved him.

Cloud ran a hand over his face. She lovedhim. He’d managed to say it back, in a surprised stuttering fashion, and she’d just laughed and kissed him. His heart had felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. She loved him.

He cast a glance at the wall to his right. Aerith was asleep in the room right next to Cloud’s, probably mumbling quietly into her pillow. He wanted to run to her and tell her that he loved her over and over and over, to whisper it in her hands and on her lips until he stopped feeling like he was overflowing with it, if it was even possible. He ached to see her, to talk to her, to make her smile. He couldn’t wait for the morning.

But he also dreaded it. He, this, they were running out of time. With every day that he got to spend by Aerith’s side, Cloud was painfully more and more aware of the fact that he hadn’t told her yet. About being asexual.

Aerith hadn’t brought up sex yet. Cloud figured that she thought he wanted to take things slowly in that regard. He felt as if he was tricking her, stringing her along on the implicit promise of a candle that would never light. He just… hadn’t been able to find the words, or the moment. At least, that’s what he told himself.

In reality, he was just selfish. Cloud knew that his time with Aerith was limited, so he kept quiet to delay the end. He wanted to cherish the days he spent by her side, the days that would come to a screeching halt as soon as he came out to her and confessed that he couldn’t give her all she wanted from a relationship. Love wasn’t going to be enough.

Cloud sighed and covered his eyes with his arm. He was being so selfish. It was unfair to her.

I have to tell her.

There was never going to be a ‘right moment,’ or a right way to do it. He just needed to rip off the band-aid, no matter how much it would hurt to see the disappointment on her face. No matter how much it would hurt to never be able to hold her again.

All he could hope for was that she wouldn’t stop being his friend.

---

“Asexual?”

Cloud winced. He couldn’t read the emotion in her voice, and he wasn’t looking at her, either. There: it was done, as ungracefully as he did most things that required talking. He’d just blurted it out, and now Aerith knew and he just had to wait for the break-up.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, picking at the blades of grass at the side of their picnic cloth. “It means that I’m—”

“I know what it means,” said Aerith, gently.

Cloud let out a small sigh of relief. Thank god.

“Zack explained it to me forever ago,” continued Aerith. She chuckled fondly. “One time, he showed up to a date night yelling about how he’d helped one of his friends figure out he was ace. He was very proud.”

Cloud laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah. That, uh, that was me. Probably.”

“Oh. Small world.” She paused. “You’ve known for a long time, then.”

He nodded, still without looking at her.

“Okay,” said Aerith.

Cloud frowned. “Okay?”

“I understand. Thank you for telling me—I’m glad you trust me with this.”

He winced. “I’m sorry.”

“Hm? Why are you sorry?”

He finally looked at her. She had a perplexed expression on her face and her head was tilted to the side in confusion. Cloud gestured vaguely with his hands. “Y’know…” he started. It was hard to speak. “I’m sorry about… this.”

Aerith frowned. “This,” she repeated. Then, a flash passed over her face. “Hey, just so we’re on the same page… Are you breaking up with me?”

Cloud winced again. Did she want him to do it? “I mean—I know you—” He cut himself off and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Aerith looked at him for a long moment, then her expression softened. “Cloud,” she said, reaching out to take his hands. “Lemme rephrase that. Do you think I’m going to break up with you?”

He didn’t meet her eyes. He sighed. “Well… yeah,” he confessed quietly. “You deserve to be with someone who—”

“Cloud,” she interrupted. She held his hands tighter. “I don’t want to break up. Do you?”

He froze. Slowly, he turned to look at Aerith again. She was smiling softly, and stroking his hands with her thumbs. “…No,” he breathed. “But—”

“Then it’s settled!” she let go of his hands to move the remains of their picnic aside and then scooted closer to him. She brushed his hair out of his face and smiled. “Ya had me scared there for a second.”

Cloud shook his head. “What? I told you, I’m—”

“Ace. I got that. And that’s okay,” she said. She pressed a light kiss against his lips. Cloud couldn’t help but melt into it. “Cloud, it’s okay,” she said when she pulled away.

He frowned and took her hand. “Aerith, look.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what’s going through your head, but I need you to understand.”

Aerith nodded with a smile. “Of course.”

Cloud sighed. “I’m asexual. And I—I don’t think I ever want to have sex. With anyone. Ever.” He ran a hand over his face. “I—I love you. So much. But I just… I can’t. I can’t give you that. I wish I could.” He looked away. “I’m sorry.”

Aerith gently turned his face back towards her. “I love you too,” she said. “And that’s why I’m not breaking up with you.”

“…What?” he stared at her.

She shrugged. “I like sex, sure. But I like you a lot more.” She smiled. “I don’t care if we never do it. I don’t care if you’re not into me that way. There’s more to a relationship than sex. I want to be with you. And, if you want to be with me too, that’s all that matters.”

Cloud blinked down at her, at a loss. He’d been bracing himself for so long, and the blow hadn’t come. But he was still wound up tight as a spring. Aerith smiled and opened her arms. Cloud let out a shuddering half-laugh and let her pull him into a hug. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Thank you,” he murmured into her skin.

Aerith giggled and tapped her fingers on his back. “What for? Silly.”

Cloud sighed deeply as the tension left him. “I was scared. So scared.”

She hummed. “I know. The whole time we’ve been together?” He nodded. “Sorry about that. I’m glad we could clear this up.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I was so sure you’d—” He shook his head. “I was so sure I was gonna hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

Aerith pulled away a bit. “I get why you didn’t.” She looked down and bit her lip. “Cloud, you’ll tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, right?”

Cloud furrowed his brows. “Hm?”

She found his hand. “I’m a little worried you might feel like you need to force yourself to be okay with things that aren’t okay. For my sake.” She smiled. “You don’t have to. Just talk to me, and we can figure out a compromise. ‘Kay?”

“Oh.” Cloud rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. I will. Uh, same for you.”

Aerith nodded and gave his hand a light squeeze. “Okay.” She leaned closer to him, then paused. “Just checking—you are cool with me kissing you, right?”

Cloud laughed and pressed his lips against hers. “So cool,” he said.

Aerith giggled. “Awesome,” she said, and kissed him again.

He pulled her close and poured all the love and relief he was feeling into the embrace.

He wasn’t broken, he’d never been broken. But he loved being with someone who helped him believe that.

[kuhatoarchive]

tifa jumps off the train first btw. always, always.

[freelanceexorcist]

It’s speculatin’ time again! And it’s just capital C-Crazy enough to almost be as crazy as some of the stuff that actually made it into canon. I know I usually use the term timeline, but the trailer’s mention of “worlds” makes me think we’re actually dealing with multiple universes. I know it seems like a distinction without a difference, but they really aren’t the same thing.

FFVIIR spoiler-ish stuff and TL; DR under the cut.

So what we know so far from the trailers is that Ore Sephiroth may possibly be from a different universe. Possibly the Zack Survives one. And we know that Watashi’s idea of Reunion is to merge these timelines and bring about some kind of rebirth, hence the name of the game. Ore thinks that he killed Tifa, so it follows that he is also responsible for the Nibelheim incident and that the point of divergence is some time after that.

Buuuuut…what if Ore had nothing to do with any Nibelheim variant in any timeline/universe? What if Reunion began before the story started? It comes down to memories.

I’m working off of the assumption that if Rebirth is what I think it is, one of two things could happen. Either the merging of the worlds will cause the variants (if you'll pardon the Marvel-speak) in each universe to fuse together and be reborn as “perfect” beings or the many worlds will cancel each other out and cease to exist. And Watashi is so pants-on-head crazy that he’s not even considering that the latter will cause him to disappear as well.    

I mean, what if the former is what's happenin and those aren’t Ore’s memories of the Nibelheim incident, but Watashi’s? What if he “remembers” torching Nibelheim in the same way Cloud “remembers” being in SOLDIER? With Cloud, it happened inadvertently but maybe Ore is having it forced on him Then it becomes a race against the clock to stop this from happening while Ore fights like hell to keep himself intact and not be subsumed by Watashi. Perhaps he does succeed in stopping at least himself from being assimilated and him having his pre-Nibelheim memories as well as the separate memories of Watashi is the key to defeating Watashi and stopping disaster from happening.

There are fans, me included, who are thirsty for pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth never having fallen from grace to become the villain. There are fans, again me included, who wouldn’t say no to Chaotic Neutral Sephiroth who is neither good nor evil. And then there are those fans who lose their shit at the very notion of the word “redemption” being used in the same sentence as the name Sephiroth. What if this is how we get all three?

As for what the point of divergence was for Ore, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Maybe he caught on to Hojo’s bullshit sooner and refused the Nibelheim mission because why did they need a pair of SOLDIER 1sts to fix a damn valve anyway? Maybe on his way to the library he saw the bookshelves in a certain well-appointed and well-lit study, decided to start there first and woke Vincent, who gave him the verbal smack upside the head that he badly needed at the time. Or maybe the guy in the robe in Junon really is young Sephiroth’s new surrogate dad Glenn, who universe-hopped with him, and it’s him who kept Seph on the straight and narrow all these years and helped him find information on Lucrecia. Sure, why not? He’s a Gary Stu and we all know those characters can bend time and space to do whatever they want.

Anyway, I’m off to reread this a few more times to find ways to poke holes in it. I’ll let you know what I come up with. Thank you for reading, if you did.

[starlightdaggers]

Character Study for Cosplay & Writing: Aerith Gainsborough

"People hate the steel sky, the slums… but I don’t. How could I? All that passion, all those dreams, flowing and blending together into something greater…"-Final Fantasy Remake Integrade

This character study is primarily about remake Aerith with some inspiration from the original game. Aerith seems to be a fairly different character in Crisis Core and I have not seen her in any media expect the remake and original ffvii

Surface

Aerith is a Florist living in the slums of sector 5, she’s optimistic, cheerful and always willing to lend a helping hand. Her helpfulness and likeability has made her well-loved in the sector 5 slums. Her mother and her have helped to bring greenery and life into the slums, especially into the leaf house. She’s not afraid to be feminine with long hair, cute bows and dresses. 

Underneath

Although Aerith seems rather feminine in appearance and mannerisms she’s actually quite tomboyish( to mirror Tiffa who is seemingly tomboyish but more feminine when you get to know her). For example she seemed to thrive exploring the dirty grungy collapsed expressway and beating up the local criminals. With many in sector 5 taking a liking to her you’d expect her to have many friends but she’s actually really lonely. The only real close relationship she has is with her step-mother. Beyond that Aerith doesn’t let anyone get to see the real her. Because of her past she’s developed a fear of others leaving her and is rather lonely.

Voice

-Very lighthearted and gentle voice even when saying something extremely dark.

-Apologizes in battle “Sorry!”

-Shortens many words, probably from growing up in the slums

-“Gotta”

-“Shit”

-”Ought to”

-” ’em”

-”Hey!”

-”Mister”

-”That’s the spirit!”

-”Hmm”

-”I see.”

-”Huh?”

-”Gotcha”

-”C’mon”

-”Uh-uh”

-”Heya”

-Addresses people by name alot (Cloud rather than you/he)

-Compliments and encourages those around her “Let’s keep on truckin’”

Habits

-always smiling, smile will drop for a moment but quickly returns

-clasping her hands together in prayer and closing her eyes

-Tilting her head

-Leaning towards the person she's talking to

-Reached towards her hair (and the materia) when thinking about her biological mother

-pointing index finger upwards upwards to gesture when using the word one or just being cheeky

-Makes a lot of hand gestures when she talks

-dusting off her dress skirt with her hands (Normally after almost falling)

-Prepares herself for jumping by swinging her arms back and forth while clenching her fists

-Double fist pump in front of her chest when determined

-Hands on hips 

-Often leans down to talk to kids

-Looks away to collect herself whenever thinking/talking about something that upsets her about and then smiles and tries to distract the other person or brings renowned optimism

-Tends to hold others' hands (Marlene, Cloud, Tifa…)

-Heel sits, likely because her dress restricts her from sitting in other positions

-Will also sit with her legs tucked in, more of a sad/bittersweet position

-Rolling back and forth gently on her heels

-Clasping her hands together behind her back when shes being mischievous

-walking in a sort of march while humming when pleased

-Loves High fives

-Placing a hand over her heart

[bronzewool]

Final Fantasy VII: Traces of Two Pasts by Kazushige Nojima is a novel exploring the backstories of Aerith and Tifa, two party members you acquire early on in the game.

Traces of Tifa starts with a young Tifa in the small village of Neibelheim, playing with the other boys her age (minus Cloud) and reconciling over the knowledge their childhood is coming to an end as each boy is already making plans to leave and follow their future career paths. The boys try to cheer her up by promising to write to her, but it soon becomes clear to her that everyone has already decided she will marry one of these boys without bothering to ask her opinion. After Cloud and the other boys leave for Midgar, she becomes lonely and has no direction in life until a wandering material artist, Rashard Zangan, shows up, scouting for students to join his dojo, and finding the perfect pupil in Tifa. Throwing herself into her training, she proves to be skilled in the art form and even starts teaching a morning class for the other villagers. Fast forward to the Neibelheim Incident, where Tifa lost her father and is mortally wounded by Sephiroth, she wakes up in a Midgar hospital that managed to save her life, but she no longer has a home or any means of paying her medical bills. The doctor's son, Rakesh, also a student of Zangan, sets her up with a room in one of the slum container rows, and a job working at a steamed bun cart. Although Tifa is grateful for the help, she is still in the process of mourning the loss of her home while recovering from a near-fatal stab wound and yet still expected to work off her heavy debts. During her time living in the slums, we see how she met Barret, and the rest of Avalanche and would eventually become the bartender of Seventh Heaven.

The segment has a well-paced coming-of-age story of Tifa having no control over her life, and becoming the confident kickboxer and math-savvy bartender we meet at the beginning of the game. The story is slow in several areas, the major one being the attention to detail it goes into regarding her workout routine (to the point it starts feeling like an actual textbook) and her work rota at the food cart and preparing the bao buns (which starts feeling like an actual cookbook). Other than that it has a satisfying twist near the end with how Tifa manages to get out of debt and find a supportive community that becomes her newfound family.

The only minor complaint I have with this story is how little Zangan is in it, considering he is meant to be Tifa’s sensei, but he is only shown teaching her through textbooks that he leaves for her to study before disappearing for months at a time and returning to test her progress and handing her the next volume before disappearing again. This works in the context of the games as characters can level up by reading textbooks, but from a story standpoint, it's rather disappointing how little these two interact.

Traces of Aerith covers the timeline after Aerith and her mother escape Shina and hide in Sector 8 Slums, right before she dies and Aerith is adopted by Elmyra. The game briefly covers how Aerith and Elymra first met, but the book goes into greater detail about how they became a family and that it wasn't as smooth a transition as was implied. Elmyra's husband was a soldier who had been deployed during the Wutai War and was finally coming back home. Elymra would stand at the train station waiting for him with each passing day and on one such day, she finds Aerith weeping over the corpse of her mother and takes the girl in before Shinra finds her. Aerith is in the middle of mourning her mother and Elymra is overloaded with the responsibility of being a single parent while trying to maintain peace within her husband's business. Aerith's presence complicates things for Elmyra and they come up with a fake identity for Aerith which quickly backfires the more people learn of her existence.

The book tries to address minor details in the framing device of a polygon game and has various degrees of success while doing it. For example, Aerith's home is strangely bigger than the rest of the slums, with a two-story house and a garden filled to the brim with flowers. In the game, this area is heavily detailed because it's a set-piece that represents Aerith and the party spends quite a bit of time here. In the context of reality, this area makes no sense when just outside the gate the rest of Sector 8 is a shanty town. The book works around this by giving Elmyra a backstory where her father-in-law owned a construction company and stayed in the slums to oversee that company, as opposed to other businesses that would start a shop in the Slums and immediately abandon it once they earned enough to move onto the upper plate. Her father-in-law employed all those redundant employees and gained a lot of respect from the community for providing employment, hence why they live more lavishly in comparison.

My only complaint about Aerith’s segment in particular is how it glosses over major details in her childhood that fans were probably picking up the book to read about. We know the Turks have been spying on Aerith since she was a child, but they barely have a presence in this segment beyond one vital scene that needs to exist because it happened in the game and the climax where we can assume they saved Aerith’s life. Instead, we spend a lot of time setting up Aerith having a fake identity, and her panicking and using another girl’s name, and this somehow causes everyone to panic because two girls can’t have the same name I guess? (it's as stupid as it sounds and I don’t know why the book dives into this when we know Aerith uses her real name in the present timeline).

Is this book well written? Yes. Did it need to exist? No. There is nothing new we learn in this book that changes your worldview of the game or about Aerith and Tifa as characters. Hardcore fans will enjoy it but casual fans are not going to get anything out of it.