freelanceexorcist

[freelanceexorcist]

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines an emergency as an unforeseen combination of circumstances or the resulting state that calls for immediate action.

That Fuckwit from Field Services defines an emergency in four distinct ways when it comes time to get Procurement involved:

1. I sat on this until the very last minute and now it’s your problem.

2. I completely and utterly boogered up this project, which has created an emergent situation and now it's your problem.

3. I refuse to schedule the weekly check ins with my customer at any time other than Friday afternoon, I promised them the moon and they want it onsite tomorrow so here’s a red hot requisition for you at 4:45 pm and now it’s your problem.

And

4. It’s not really an emergency but I want you to drop everything and tend to me first so I’m going to tell you it is and now it’s your problem.

*Sigh*

[freelanceexorcist]

He's just a kid who needed a hug

Also, First Soldier's story is so good and it's a crime it's only a mobile game. You won't change my mind.

[freelanceexorcist]

I mean it when I say I'm done with all things political and I'm no longer watching the news (if something big happens, I'm sure I'll hear about it somehow). So this is my closing argument on that front.

Cut for length.

Those of you who choose to continue to engage will be seeing a lot of blame assignment in the coming days and months. Every pundit will be weighing in with their ill-informed opinion on who's responsible for this. I'll save them the trouble.

Blame the men who hate women more than they love their country or even their own miserable hides. You won't have to look too far to find one of those.

Blame the white women who are desperate to be picked by these men.

Blame the media who spent the whole election cycle sanewashing that demented fucking monster while ignoring the very real accomplishments on the other side.

Blame the shitheads who thought it was safe to sit this one out.

Blame the turncoats on our own side who bayed for Joe Biden's blood because he had a bad night and didn't stop until he caved to them. Nah, scratch that, those people never accept blame for anything.

Blame the foreign-born oligarchs who would rather see the country burn to the ground than pay their fair share to keep it running.

Plenty more where that came from. Plenty of blame to go around.

And here's some advice if you're open to it. If you're not, consider this the end of the post.

*Puts on "old lady who's seen some shit" hat*

If you're terrified of what the future holds, don't live all four years at once (credit for this approach goes to user King Beauregard over at The Establishment Bar). Take each day as it comes. Each hour as it comes. We survived him once and we WILL survive him again unless he starts a nuclear war, in which case there was nothing any of us could have done to stop it anyway. I wouldn't worry about that, though. He's so far gone I doubt he remembers how to tie his own shoes let alone what to do with the nuclear football.

Take care of yourself. This is sacrosanct. Do what makes you happy and soothes your nerves. We have a limited amount of time on this rock, so don't spend it staring at a screen in anticipation of the next horrible thing he will do or say. Ride it out and be kind to yourself in the process. We have four years of positive progress ahead of us and we will go into 2026 and 2028 with strength and resolve.

Don't game out worst-case scenarios or catastrophize. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow let alone over the next four years. About the only thing that can be confidently speculated upon is that he is very unlikely to survive much longer and will most likely not make it another four years. Yes, then we will be saddled with President JD Vance, First of His Fake Name, but not forever. Mike Pence was a bland cypher who made the right patriotic face noises, but JD is an obvious and glaring creep who is about as appealing as a broken toilet with a deuce left in the bowl and has achieved the near impossible goal of making Ted Cruz seem likable in comparison. He likely won't win a re-election bid as long as the Democratic party chooses the right white man.

Unplug. Dump Twitter and try a service like Bluesky if you want to continue using social media. Distance yourself from any site that's set up to allow engagement farmers to get maximum exposure by pissing off as many people as they can then letting human nature take its course so they can make a few pennies, turning the place into an anxiety-spiking hellscape in the process (looking at you, Twitter, TikTok, Reddit, etc.). Stick to sites that produce content that gives you joy.

If you choose to continue to engage, engage at the local level. Get school board members, mayors, council members and state Representatives elected. Those offices may not seem important, but they absolutely are. They could very well be the firewall between you and the United States of Gilead if the worst were to come to pass. Organize at the local level instead of attending some million-woman march that will almost certainly be co-opted by corporate, political and Hollywood interests who want to look like they give a fuck about you and abandon you once they get their narcissistic supply. A bunch of small fires are a lot harder to put out than one big one.

Don't conflate what happened in other countries with what could happen here. Attempts to break us will be made, but we are not Afghanistan. We are not Iran. We are not Nazi Germany or Franco's Spain. We are not Russia. Whatever may or may not happen here will happen within the framework of the systems we have set up, our current circumstances, our history and our people's resolve. He failed once, and now that he's in obvious cognitive decline, he will likely fail again.

I'm not going to tell you everything will be OK, because I don't know whether it will or not. The future is a huge question mark just as it always has been. But what I will tell you is that how you react to whatever happens is entirely up to you. If you find yourself ruminating, stop and apply the techniques used in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Reframe your thoughts in a positive or at least neutral way. Do breathing exercises. I ask you to trust me when I say these things help.

That's about all. We've got this. We didn't think we could survive the first regime, but we did. We've been on this road before and as The Boss sings, nobody's kiddin' nobody about where it goes. It sucks that we've been thrust into it again by people who really should have known better, but you play the card you're dealt. We can do this.

[freelanceexorcist]

Just a word of warning. There’s a non-zero chance that I’ll be going absolutely buck wild with the batshit FFVII theories and speculation, at least for as long as women are still allowed to read and write in America. It’s something I enjoy doing and I’m going to need a lot more self-care than usual for the next, oh, four years or so. I’m also probably going to be here more often. I deleted my Twitter account because fuck you, Elon.

[freelanceexorcist]

My sleepy little majestic lion.

[freelanceexorcist]

'Sup.

[freelanceexorcist]

I see people wondering what happens to Bachman. Well obviously he reconnects with his buddy Turner and they start a dad rock band.

Bachman Turner Overdrive-Taking care of business

[freelanceexorcist]

This post has been brought to you by toe beans. And lethal claws. But mostly toe beans.

[freelanceexorcist]

Ooh, good point about Bachman. I hadn't thought of it as Jenova as the one trying to conceal things. But then her strategy is concealment and trickery. And yes, they've really leaned into the idea of the Shadowblood Queen being Jenova or being under her control, so I'm curious to see where that goes in the next installment.

So far, Episode 2 has been quite intriguing. The following is a stream of consciousness with some preliminary theories.

The wisp-things are extremely suspicious. At first glance, they appear to be linked to Masamune the Swordsmith (who kind of resembles a wraith or another type of undead?), but in fact they are Jenova-coded, with those distinctive purple/magenta hue visuals. 

Consequently, Sephiroth's "dream" sequence seems to be induced, similar to Angeal's. The telling purple/magenta vignette around the edges implies Jenova's influence.

Then there's Alissa, who resembles Lucrecia and makes the strangely accurate assumption that she reminds Sephiroth of his mother.

So, what do we have so far? We have an anomalous, off-limits zone that the locals avoid. No one knows how the village was destroyed. We have a legendary swordsmith, whose life-force (?) appears to be maintained by unknown means. We got some classic Jenova effects, purple visuals, and possibly induced lucid dreams or hallucinations. And we have a mysterious carnage survivor who resembles Sephiroth's mother.

My supposition is that there's a remnant of Jenova residing in Igara Forbidden Zone. I previously explored some unusual possibilities derived from the Temple of Ancients narration in FFVIIRebirth, where the Cetra mentioned their celestial adversary's "scattered malignancy". [Link] Unless the message is to be interpreted as prophetic, referencing ShinRA age experiments, it implies that Jenova's biologics were already “scattered” during Cetra's time.

What if the Igara Forbidden Zone ended up sitting atop a sealed deposit of Jenova's biological matter from the Cetran War?

The ground is depicted as having cracks, with some kind of purple substance visible beneath. Furthermore, Angeal observes that the soil is as fine as ash but glitters — and remarkably fresh Jenova's blood or goo has been shown to glitter in the ShinRA headquarters.

So perhaps at some point in time, the residents discover the sealed organic traces. Someone like a swordsmith would be closely dealing with matters of mining ore, so there's a chance of mining taking place in the vicinity. The mining process may have unearthed biological remains that had been buried for eons. Alternatively, there could have been ancient Cetran ruins nearby—perhaps an entombment site—that were intended to seal off alien matter. The opening sequence does feature what appears to be an abandoned Petra-inspired temple carved into the rock.

Although it has strong Wutaian ornamental motifs, it could be a repurposed Cetran site, so the idea stands. 

Masamune's lifespan, if he is a living being, appears to be much longer than that of a normal human, or so his speech about finding a wielder for his masterwork implies. Lucrecia's situation immediately comes to mind, as the compilation states that Jenova cells prevent her from dying, thereby extending her life. While this is an unlikely scenario, Masamune appears to be bound and unable to rest until his sword is passed on.

In this case, it is almost implied that the sword possesses its own power. Could this be a cursed masterpiece? Could Jenova's remnant essence from the ancient war have been mixed in during Masamune's forging process? After all, during the battle, the swordsmith does display those Jenova-esque visual effects.

Another peculiar and somewhat ominous link between Jenova and Sephiroth's weapon can be seen in his dream/hallucination sequence. Jenova-Lucrecia gives Sephiroth a "charm" to wrap around his sword, promising to "always be with him".

Granted, it could be a manifestation of his deepest desires (such as wanting to eat pumpkin soup again), but the purplish Jenova-esque vignette at the edges of his vision lends the scene a sinister feel. What if her power is actually imbued in the weapon Sephiroth carries? In that way, her shadow is always present beside him. 

The act of wielding Masamune is presented as some type of a tipping point in the opening sequence as well. During the intro Alissa mentions that she feels like the world will change once Sephiroth takes up the sword. The notion is further implicitly corroborated by Bachman, who stated the "course of history was altered forever".

Speaking of Alissa, according to FFVII Rebirth, Jenova can "peer into one's soul" and transform into those they hate, fear, or love. With this in mind, Alissa's resemblance to Lucrecia is extremely suspicious and raises numerous questions. Is she real, or a hallucination? It's telling that her face isn't revealed until the party comes into contact with suspicious purple wisps (which allegedly manifest as Masamune battle).

For all we know, if Jenova’s presence is there — if her power is unchained and lingers — then Alissa's might look completely different for Angeal, as her appearance is being specifically tailored to the beholder. It's also worth noting that the opening sequence features frequent flashes of Alissa surrounded by purple wisps and glitching.

To continue this line of thought, is it really coincidental that Bachman is carrying a camera, a device that captures unbiased visuals? Is it really an accident that Bachman is later portrayed as a mumbling, disorganized mess, despite the fact that he ostensibly never participated in the SOLDIER program? It's almost as if someone didn't want him to reveal his findings.

[freelanceexorcist]

Great analysis as always. My take is kind of gimmicky, but I’m getting some Blair Witch found footage vibes from the episode 2 cut scenes. Everything is business as usual at first but then I can see it all going south while Bachman films the whole thing.

Which makes me wonder if the fate that befalls Bachman is directly because of Jenova (or whatever other force is plaguing the area). He seems like a real company man, so if he was told to make certain footage Shinra doesn’t want the public to see disappear, he’d do it. Plus he probably had to sign every NDA under the sun just to get that job. No need to silence or disappear him.

Again, gimmicky, but I’m imagining the last scene of episode 2 being Hojo reviewing the surviving footage, getting the idea for the Sephiroth clones/black cloaked men from it and making plans to harvest more samples of Sephiroth’s blood, hair and tissue.

So far, Episode 2 has been quite intriguing. The following is a stream of consciousness with some preliminary theories.

The wisp-things are extremely suspicious. At first glance, they appear to be linked to Masamune the Swordsmith (who kind of resembles a wraith or another type of undead?), but in fact they are Jenova-coded, with those distinctive purple/magenta hue visuals. 

Consequently, Sephiroth's "dream" sequence seems to be induced, similar to Angeal's. The telling purple/magenta vignette around the edges implies Jenova's influence.

Then there's Alissa, who resembles Lucrecia and makes the strangely accurate assumption that she reminds Sephiroth of his mother.

So, what do we have so far? We have an anomalous, off-limits zone that the locals avoid. No one knows how the village was destroyed. We have a legendary swordsmith, whose life-force (?) appears to be maintained by unknown means. We got some classic Jenova effects, purple visuals, and possibly induced lucid dreams or hallucinations. And we have a mysterious carnage survivor who resembles Sephiroth's mother.

My supposition is that there's a remnant of Jenova residing in Igara Forbidden Zone. I previously explored some unusual possibilities derived from the Temple of Ancients narration in FFVIIRebirth, where the Cetra mentioned their celestial adversary's "scattered malignancy". [Link] Unless the message is to be interpreted as prophetic, referencing ShinRA age experiments, it implies that Jenova's biologics were already “scattered” during Cetra's time.

What if the Igara Forbidden Zone ended up sitting atop a sealed deposit of Jenova's biological matter from the Cetran War?

The ground is depicted as having cracks, with some kind of purple substance visible beneath. Furthermore, Angeal observes that the soil is as fine as ash but glitters — and remarkably fresh Jenova's blood or goo has been shown to glitter in the ShinRA headquarters.

So perhaps at some point in time, the residents discover the sealed organic traces. Someone like a swordsmith would be closely dealing with matters of mining ore, so there's a chance of mining taking place in the vicinity. The mining process may have unearthed biological remains that had been buried for eons. Alternatively, there could have been ancient Cetran ruins nearby—perhaps an entombment site—that were intended to seal off alien matter. The opening sequence does feature what appears to be an abandoned Petra-inspired temple carved into the rock.

Although it has strong Wutaian ornamental motifs, it could be a repurposed Cetran site, so the idea stands. 

Masamune's lifespan, if he is a living being, appears to be much longer than that of a normal human, or so his speech about finding a wielder for his masterwork implies. Lucrecia's situation immediately comes to mind, as the compilation states that Jenova cells prevent her from dying, thereby extending her life. While this is an unlikely scenario, Masamune appears to be bound and unable to rest until his sword is passed on.

In this case, it is almost implied that the sword possesses its own power. Could this be a cursed masterpiece? Could Jenova's remnant essence from the ancient war have been mixed in during Masamune's forging process? After all, during the battle, the swordsmith does display those Jenova-esque visual effects.

Another peculiar and somewhat ominous link between Jenova and Sephiroth's weapon can be seen in his dream/hallucination sequence. Jenova-Lucrecia gives Sephiroth a "charm" to wrap around his sword, promising to "always be with him".

Granted, it could be a manifestation of his deepest desires (such as wanting to eat pumpkin soup again), but the purplish Jenova-esque vignette at the edges of his vision lends the scene a sinister feel. What if her power is actually imbued in the weapon Sephiroth carries? In that way, her shadow is always present beside him. 

The act of wielding Masamune is presented as some type of a tipping point in the opening sequence as well. During the intro Alissa mentions that she feels like the world will change once Sephiroth takes up the sword. The notion is further implicitly corroborated by Bachman, who stated the "course of history was altered forever".

Speaking of Alissa, according to FFVII Rebirth, Jenova can "peer into one's soul" and transform into those they hate, fear, or love. With this in mind, Alissa's resemblance to Lucrecia is extremely suspicious and raises numerous questions. Is she real, or a hallucination? It's telling that her face isn't revealed until the party comes into contact with suspicious purple wisps (which allegedly manifest as Masamune battle).

For all we know, if Jenova’s presence is there — if her power is unchained and lingers — then Alissa's might look completely different for Angeal, as her appearance is being specifically tailored to the beholder. It's also worth noting that the opening sequence features frequent flashes of Alissa surrounded by purple wisps and glitching.

To continue this line of thought, is it really coincidental that Bachman is carrying a camera, a device that captures unbiased visuals? Is it really an accident that Bachman is later portrayed as a mumbling, disorganized mess, despite the fact that he ostensibly never participated in the SOLDIER program? It's almost as if someone didn't want him to reveal his findings.

[freelanceexorcist]

So now I’ve got it in my head: Angeal as Hawkeye, Sephiroth as Trapper John/BJ Hunnicut and Genesis as Frank Burns/Charles Winchester.

Outside of Genesis's tent in Wutai:

Angeal: Hey Sephiroth. Can you scream air raid at the top of your lungs?

Sephiroth: *shrugs* AIR RAID! AIR RAID!

Genesis: *runs out of his tent screaming* AIR RAAIIID! AIR RAIID!! AIR RAIIIDD!! *Falls flat on his face*

I recently found out m*a*s*h is a sitcom about soldiers, which means that I plan on becoming unhealthily obsessed with it at some point XD

[freelanceexorcist]

Thanks! The post has been updated. Don't know how I missed that on Twitter.

The people who are big mad about his official characterization can just sit down and relax because there's no putting that toothpaste back in the tube.

If anyone knows who made this meme, could you tell me so I can credit them? Because damn...

[freelanceexorcist]

If anyone knows who made this meme, could you tell me so I can credit them? Because damn...

Source @AServantofGod12 on Twitter. Thanks, @rosy-crow!

[freelanceexorcist]

Just keep stabbing me in the heart, Squeenix. Go ahead, keep doing it.

Looking at it again, the room Sephiroth is in in his dream of his mother looks like a specimen holding cell at Shinra. Even in his perfect dream, he can’t imagine being free from Shinra.

[freelanceexorcist]

OK. I watched the first chapter of Ever Crisis First Soldier episode 2 and of course I have thoughts.

Cut for spoilers and length.

Sephiroth has officially become a sympathetic character. I mean, he always was, but there's no doubt about it being official now.

The way he's acting toward people, pushing them away? He's not being arrogant or sullen or a dick. He's a sad, traumatized kid with crappy self-esteem. He's in pain and grieving the loss of Glenn, Matt and Lucia's friendship. He's trying to convince himself that he's a soulless machine because machines don't have to feel what he's feeling. He's pushing everyone away because he doesn't want to make the choice he had to make between saving Rosen and saving himself and his friends. If you're cold, calculating and ruthless, such choices are a lot easier.

Except he's not any of those things or he wouldn't be acting the way he is. He wouldn't care, but he obviously does here. If you push everyone away and keep them at arms length, it doesn't hurt so much when they inevitably leave.

Except Angeal ain't havin' none of that. He's gonna make Sephiroth his bro if it kills both of them. The dynamic between these two so far is

And you know it works, too, and at least they get ten good years as friends after that.

So yes, the Sephiroth from Episode 1 is still there, but he's depressed and traumatized. If he returned to Midgar between episodes, he probably got a good dressing down from the top brass at Shinra and suffered who knows what at Hojo's hands. He's hurting and I think on some level Angeal knows that, which is why he's trying so hard to break through.

Now let's talk about Sephiroth's dream. I hope that was just a regular dream and not Jenova fucking with him because that would be a real kick in the nuts. I'm going to say it was an actual dream triggered by seeing Alissa "Definitely Not Jenova" Goldie and her uncanny resemblance to Lucrecia. And he was handed an empty bowl and told it was pumpkin soup because he doesn't know what pumpkin soup looks like. He just knows it would be good and that his mama would make him some if she could.

And speaking of Definitely Not Jenova. Nope, definitely not Jenova or Hojo mindfucking him. Not at all.

But since I'm a glass half full kinda gal when it comes to these things, I'm considering another angle. Yeah, purple and purplish pink are colors associated with Jenova, but those lights swirling around Alissa remind me of will o' the wisps or spook lights. Depending on which culture's folklore you're looking at, these can represent elemental spirits, the fae or demons (demons as in "spirit that never walked the earth in physical form" and not the Biblical nasties).

What if a forest spirit or similar entity took an interest in Sephiroth and wanted to get a closer look to see what makes him tick? Such an entity wouldn't really understand humans, so throwing Hojo in his face wouldn't strike it as being cruel or malicious. It was just curious to see how he would react.

Yeah, it's probably Jenova. "Those you hate, those you fear, those you love" after all. The other idea is worth considering, though.

Some odds and ends:

*i'm glad that the existence of female SOLDIER operatives has been confirmed. Not sure how I feel about them having to wear coochie cutters while the guys get real pants, though.

*I wonder how Sephiroth will get Masamune from its namesake. I'm going to be optimistic and say Mr. Epic Eyebrows will deem him worthy of receiving it, because that's how that seems to be shaping up at first glance. My prediction is that Masamune will pop up at times throughout the story to observe Sephiroth and test his mettle. He already knows Sephiroth is worthy, and these interactions will serve to verify that.

*Bachman's kind of a pain in the ass, isn't he? Sephiroth isn't your show pony, dude. He didn't even know you'd be tagging along.

*EC is really playing up how innocent and good these kids were back in the day. Angeal certainly had it helped along by his upbringing, but it took work for Sephiroth to maintain his goodness. He's the way he is despite his childhood, not because of it.

*I know I sound like a broken record but bog standard villains just don't get that kind of development. We're not supposed to see them sympathetically. At least not the ones for whom a redemption arc isn't in the works. We're supposed to cheer when they get what they have coming in a movie or on a show. We're supposed to feel accomplished when we beat them as the final boss in the game. We're not supposed to see their inevitable defeat as the heartbreaking last act of a tragic life.

*EC took pains to make the connection between the purehearted pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth and the Sephiroth at the Edge of Creation. It's looking more and more to me like EoC Sephiroth and the Sephiroth menacing the party are two different people. Or, more accurately, two versions of the same person from two different universes/timelines and one of them isn't answering to Jenova anymore (if he ever did in the first place).

*I mean come on. The symbolism. The white feathers (which pop up all over Rebirth, too). This:

*That's not there by accident or because it looks cool. It's a single white wing to contrast with Jenovaroth's single black wing and highlight the differences between the two. The battle theme that plays during the behemoth fight is called White Winged Angel, fercryin' out loud! I will die on this hill.

That's all for now. Thanks for sticking around to the end of this if you did.

[freelanceexorcist]

To sum up:

Sephiroth: “Our dealings will be strictly professional for I am nothing more than a machine meant for war. A rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.”

Angeal: “‘K. You done, edgelord? We’re gonna be bros whether you like it or not.”

Sephiroth is so traumatized and doesn't want to let anyone get close so as not to be hurt and not have to go through lessons from Hojo again, but at the same time he really wants friends, family, human warmth, and therefore despite his "I'm special, only doing the job, not interested in communication" he still reaches out to new possible connections (in this case Angeal)

Yes I'm crying

[freelanceexorcist]

Dr. Martín Brenner, Professor Hojo, to-may-to, to-mah-to.